


The Lives Outside The Book And Other Nonsense

by Storiesarelife1903



Category: Gintama
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Blood and Injury, Breaking the Fourth Wall, Developing Relationship, Drama, Explicit Language, Fluff, Friendship, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Male Homosexuality, Minor Violence, Multi, Relationship(s), Romance, Sexual Content, Slice of Life, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-09
Updated: 2016-10-26
Packaged: 2018-05-12 10:47:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 34
Words: 688,932
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5663464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Storiesarelife1903/pseuds/Storiesarelife1903
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"With a cigarette in hand, a huge disappointment after many months of being clean, Gintoki stares out of his apartment window for some inspiration. There is none, "nada" he thinks as his thoughts are still as cloudy as the sky. So many people with varied lives, drives, passions, and not one idea could come to mind as he neglected the laptop on his desk. After writing and publishing so much already, it made him realise that he was getting old. Well, he couldn't exactly feel that way outside of his work; not with that mayonnaise obsessed moron in the apartment across from him. Ever since he moved in, things for Gintoki turned in a weird direction. There was no helping it, though. He could only blow out a cloud of smoke, with the words at the tip of his tongue. They were...Those two were...</p><p>"Lovers...". He admitted to himself."</p><p>Modern AU - Gintoki's a best-selling author and everyone else is in it it, basically. Even Takasugi! Yay! :D</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Sigh Shows Many Emotions

**Author's Note:**

> Gaaaaaah! I'm the worst! I couldn't stop myself from at least uploading one chapter of this story I came up with while daydreaming. I have so much planned out, but I don't plan to update this too often. I'll organise times when I can update it without making myself stressed. This will only be one chapter for now. I'll wait for feedback, if anyone wants to comment on the first chapter and I'll keep going if anyone wants more.
> 
> The plan-THE plan-if this is considered good, is to try and update this during weekends or inbetween other stuff. Yeah...Hope you enjoy the first chapter. I would appreciate some feedback to let me know if I should continue. The first few chapters are basically introducing the majority of the characters. They will all appear--all of them...You have my word. Also, there will be fanon and canon sort of "relationships", I emphasise that word because I want to focus a lot more on a relationship between Gintoki and Hijikata. There won't be a lot of heavily focused relationships other than that one, but...if people want it I may write in some light stuff. Okay...Enjoy!

How long had there been silence for? Undetermind.

"Hmm...". 

The countless amount of times that Gintoki tapped his foot against the floor, that smelled like old feet, was beginning to hurt his leg-the need for a cigarrette growing stronger than ever as the stress grew. How much longer? 

"Mmm...". 

The atmosphere was already growing tiresome, the sting in Gintoki's eyes emphasised by the bright light above. How many more all-nighters could he handle? How much more caffine could he consume before his heart finally gave up? He held a groan back in his chest, not wanting to disturb the old hag as she read through his latest work. It was crap...He knew it was; but he prayed he could get away with it by the skin of his teeth after so many sessions of writing, headaches, and caffine...So much caffine...By this point, he was ready to shut down altogether and that would only mean another night in hospital with a nurse smacking his forehead with a rolled up magazine. ("This is the third time in three months. I swear, the next time you'll definitely die"). That's what she said. It sounded more like a threat, as his hospital visits were only giving that particular nurse trouble. He only said that he liked her uniform, and she always let out a grumble of frustration upon finding his name registered as a patient ever since. 

He was losing patience-losing his mind of the build up and the tension. He didn't want to start all over again. That would be hell for both him and the memory stick for his laptop. He blinked slowly, losing focus on Otose as she continued. How slow could she be? Was there any reason for him to stay at all? Eventually, Gintoki's thread of patience snapped. Leaning back farther in his chair and covering his heavy eyes from the light he cried out within the confines of the office. 

"Gaaah! Come on, Granny! What the hell is taking you so long?! Aaagh...I feel like I'm dying! Patsuan! Help me!" 

Uncovering his eyes, he spotted Shinpachi, the intern, through the glass walls. Gintoki waved over to him in his upside-down position, his back curvered over the chair, receiving only a blank look and a shake of the head before he moved on to delivering coffee and other beverages. The cry for help was a failure. Gintoki sat up straight-ish and looked back at Otose, who stared at him, painted unimpressed with his childishness. She sighed, a puff of smoke expected to flow out past her wrinkled lips as she sat back and dropped the papers onto her desk. Her arms crossed, a serious expression remaining. 

"...It's crap". She said casually, reaching for a cigarrette from the container that was originally supposed to hold pencils. 

"Gaaaaaah!" Gintoki cried out, reverting back to his previous stretched out position as he refused to look Otose in the eyes. "Granny, gimme a break! I know it's bad but just gimme a break! I worked so hard with so many all-nighters! Please, Granny...Aah...". 

He flopped back again, resting his forehead onto the surface of the desk. It reeked of cigarrettes and ashes and old wood. Did they have her husband's funeral on that desk?; he wondered--a light joke to himself. 

"Gintoki, are you an idiot? I asked you to write a short story of at least one-thousand words on whatever you liked, not a whole book; you do those in your own time. This was due in today, just like everyone else's for the monthly magazine. So? Where's your story? All I see is a pile of dog shit on my desk. And that dog Kagura has produces better shit than you've given me this piece of work just now". 

"Don't bully me. I'm tired". 

"Yes, you're an idiot. As I recall, you were the one who was hungover the morning I asked you to begin this-which I reminded you about weeks ago. It's your own fault that you worked yourself too hard". 

"And I apologised. All I really remember that night was a nice lady escorting me away from the bar and to a taxi cab". 

"That was the bouncer from a strip club, she threw you out into a cab because you groped her chest". 

"That was an accident! I didn't know Tsukuyo was there! And how did you hear about that?" 

"Your friend informed me when he stopped by for a meeting. You know, the weird one who works in trade". 

"Sakamoto...that bastard. I knew I shouldn't have let him drag me to a strip club! I hope Mutsu gave him a good ass-kicking afterwards. Asshole...". 

Gintoki crossed his arms over his chest, feeling pretty pissed at his old friend for getting him wasted and possibly banned from a strip club. Basically, he was sulking. Otose sighed out a cloud of smoke, thinking of how to talk to her number one writer. His novels produced and his bad attitude put her at a crossroads between wanting to hit him or give him his paycheck, sometimes both. She considered him a good guy, at heart, but with a stinking attitude and a lack of motivation since his fourth book was published. He works hard, it just takes time for any inspiration and motivation to come to him. She refered to him as a good kid when the time called for it, and this was one of those times. 

"Gintoki, listen, you're a good kid. You make great work when you're up to the task and you make this company a lot of money. We're all grateful for that, but you just need to take more responsibility in what you do. I'm not asking you to bring me a golden script everyday. The only times you make gold is when you really work for it. My point is that you're a great writer, I just don't understand why you're hesitating. Why are you hesitating?" 

Gintoki held his hands together, leaning over slightly in his seated position. He tried to figure out an answer to that question but, just like his progressing scripts as of recently, nothing came to mind. There were no words that could win praise from the old woman behind the desk. Just the truth of a shrug. 

"I don't know, Granny. I don't know. Guess I haven't been inspired recently. Sorry...". 

Another sigh escaped Otose's lips, another puff of smoke following and evaporating into the air like hot frost. The room stunk of that particular brand now, which somehow put Gintoki off of the idea of having a cigarrette. 

"Don't apologise. I'll negotiate with the printer and get them to provide an extention specifically for you. I'll call you when we have a set date and time for it to be in my office, on my desk. Understood?" 

"Yeah, yeah, I got it. See ya, old hag". 

Dragging the useless manuscript from the desk and lifting his bag from under it, Gintoki immediatly left his publisher's office. What a downer. He pulled the heavy glass door open and walked out with a solemn expression, ready to head back to his apartment, rest and start again. Well, he wasn't ready at all. The moaning of "it's gonna be another piece of crap" droned on in his head. It was truely bothersome. He hated to write for the monthly magazine produced by the publishers. Usually it was to give avid readers of certain authors a teaser of an upcoming novel: that was it's purpose. But writing an original short story was always a pain. However, the readers continued to demand it through social media and fan letters. It was tiring and nearly drove Gintoki insane. He wanted nothing more than to drop out of taking part in the magazine, but that apparently could damage his reputation. It wouldn't. It would just disappoint a few people and, as Gintoki hoped, would make them feel guilty about pressuring him so hard to produce another goddamn story or novel. 

While walking towards the elevator, Gintoki met with Shinpachi, who had just exited the break room. 

"Ah! Gin-san, are you leaving now?" 

"Uh, yeah. I really need some rest". 

"W-wait a moment!". 

Shinpachi grabbed the sleeve of Gintoki's hoodie as he reached for the elevator buttons. 

"Whoah! Wha-...What is it? Hurry 'cause I've gotta-". 

"It's Kagura". 

Shinpachi simply said, concern and worry obvious in his voice. Gintoki grew concerned immediatly, his body freezing in place as he tried to process what Shinpachi said next. It could only be bad news. 

"W-wait, what are you talking about?-What about Kagura? I thought she was with...". 

"Kamui called earlier, he's dragging her back to your apartment. I had no chance to ask if she was okay, so I-...! Gin-san?!" 

Gintoki didn't wait for the rest. What Shinpachi informed him of was enough. Ignoring the slow elevator and Shinpachi's words to be careful, Gintoki darted down the staircase with his shoulder bag bashing against his leg as he ran. It couldn't be good-this wasn't good. For Kamui, her big brother, to call with little explaination and simply saying he was taking Kagura back to the apartment could only mean one thing. At least, it was what Gintoki thought had happened at the time of his dash back to the apartment. It wasn't too far away. He just hoped nothing bad would happen before he got there. He wished for Kagura's safety. This wasn't the first time, after all. 

... 

"Kaguraaaaa!" 

Gintoki called out as he rushed up the staircase of the apartment complex, his cheeks red from running at such a pace. He was nearing the top floor at full speed, close to messing up and tripping. That could only lead to a cracked skull, but he dismissed the thought as he strived to find Kagura and her idiot big brother at the top of the staircase. 

"Stay away from Sadaharu, moron!" That was Kagura's voice. 

Turning the corner, lungs heavy and expectations weighing heavier, Gintoki stopped for a moment to see Kamui hold Kagura in a headlock with a smile across his lips. Sadaharu bit at his leg in an attempt to make him let go. This was the best and only moment for Gintoki to step in--immediatly. 

"Let go of her, bastard!" 

He rushed into the scene, forcing Kamui to let go of Kagura. She didn't think about herself, immediatly picking up her puppy Sadaharu before backing away once released. Gintoki held Kamui's wrist in a tight grip to keep him from grabbing Kagura again. He just smiled up at Gintoki, welcoming him back. 

"Ah, there you are. Finally. Another second and I would have hit her...again". 

"Yeah, right. Before was an accident, stupid". Kagura provoked him, holding her dog closely to her chest as he growled directly at Kamui. 

"Don't push your luck, weakling. If you don't learn to bite your tongue I'll hit you for real, and I won't hold back". 

"Shut up, Kamui". Gintoki spoke firmly, acting as the adult of this serious situation. From experience, this not being the first incident, this truely was a serious situation. "Get out of here before you're the one getting a punch in the face. Don't think I won't because you're a brat". 

"Ooh, scary. I better take my leave, then. See ya, my little sister. See ya, Sakata-san". 

With Kagura's bags left on the floor, only an umbrella was picked up from the pile consisting of two small bags and a single cardboard box. Kamui rested his umbrella against his shoulder once he snatched his arm from Gintoki's firm grip. The smile remained on his face the whole time as he took the first step down towards the exit. He stopped for a second to turn back to his sister. 

"And, Kagura, the next time this guy kicks you out, go live with our old man in the U.S. I'm sure he'd love that". 

"As if I'd ever live with that baldy. And Gin-chan didn't kick me out, I chose to stay with you in order to keep you out of the streets-to watch over you like Mom wanted. How many times are you gonna push me away?" 

"As many times as it takes for you to just give up and leave me be. My life is none of your business, so stay out of it. I mean it. Now stay put this time, got it?" 

Kamui finally descended down the stairs, umbrella in hand. Gintoki always wondered why the two of them carried those around, even when it wasn't raining. Kagura rubbed the red stained bruise on her cheek, Sadaharu whimpering under her arm with genuine concern. Gintoki let out a sigh that sounded as if he was bothered by all this, but really it was a cold sigh of relief. She was safe; that was the main thing. Even if they were siblings, Kamui was dangerous. Gintoki looked down to his old housemate, sighing once more as he tassled her ginger hair. It seemed that she cut her hair over the week they were apart. 

"Come on in, then, idiot. I'll put a band-aid over that bruise and...well, that's it. Come on". 

"Wait! You're not gonna move me back in after what my stupid brother did to me?!" 

"Ahh, we'll figure that out later. J-Just come in for now and sit your ass down. I guess...bring the mutt in too".

Kagura puffed out her cheeks, placing her dog onto the floor gently before picking up her back-pack. Gintoki carried the other bag and the box into the apartment after unlocking it, his troubles only increasing. Although, he didn't believe for a second that his old housemate would be gone for good. After witnessing Kamui and how he actually acted towards his little sister, there's no way he would keep her. How many times had she been dragged back to Gintoki's apartment? She seemed so determind to watch over her brother despite his treatment towards her. Gintoki couldn't understand; never actually having siblings himself. But even with that in mind, he couldn't possibly believe that normal siblings were this hostile to eachother. 

The two housemates sat on the floor of the apartment, the light of noon shining brightly through the wide shutters. With a first-aid kit inbetween them, Gintoki would apply a square band-aid to the bruise centered on her cheek. It even looked a little swollen. There was silence between them for a while, no explaination of what happened coming from Kagura as she sulked to herself. Gintoki left her to it, figuring that it might be difficult to talk about or just the same story as the other times. Although, this was the first time violence was involved between the two. The silence was a little overwhelming for Gintoki, seeing that Kagura definitely wouldn't speak at all, as he cut up an appropraite size for her band-aid. It would be more obvious, but at least it could heal quicker. 

"Oi, what happened to your hair?" He asked, still concentrating on the task at hand. "What happened to the jock-straps that used to tie it up?" 

"They weren't jock-straps, dumbass. Some kids stuck gum in my hair. I asked my stupid brother to help me get it out, but he refused. I ended up cutting it myself. Good thing it was attached to the end strands of my hair, otherwise I'd look like an eight-year-old boy right now". 

"Oh, okay. You gonna keep it like this?" 

"My hair's not long enough to tie up anymore, so yeah. I have to". 

"It suits you. Maybe the boys at your school would think so as well". 

"Ew, gross. Gin-chan, don't say disturbing things". 

"What? When I was your age, and boys had just discovered what girlfriends were, we couldn't wait to have one. Little did the majority realise that girls at your age are stuck-up bitches who turn into whores by college". 

"Gin-chan, you're just angry you didn't have your first kiss UNTIL you went to college". 

"Hah, jokes on you. I never went to college. I got a part-time job until I started writing. Look at me now". 

"Fine, fine. Geez...Did you kiss a lot of girls despite being an idiot?" 

"I'm not an idiot, I'm a best-selling writer. Think your insults first, genius, but yep, you could say that". 

"What, you did indecent things too? Grown ups are disgusting". 

"I never said that, but...yeah, you could say that". 

Gintoki gently applied the band-aid over the bruise. Kagura winced, but bit her tongue. She was acting tough to the best of her ability, even if her brother wasn't around to see it. Perhaps it was practice for her. Gintoki closed up the first-aid kit and stood up from the floor with it under his arm. For the moment, he set it on the kitchen table in the corner. 

"Alright, here's the plan; I'm gonna make a long distance call to the baldy and have him come get you as soon as he can. You should stay with him". 

"What? No way!" Kagura stood to protest, hoping her efforts wouldn't be in vain. "Gin-chan, I won't stay there-not with him! I don't want to travel the world, I'd rather stay here. End of story". 

"That's my line, ya damn brat! Haah, listen, you can't stay here, I'm busy-Ah!". Kagura suddenly clung to Gintoki, rubbing her face into his chest. 

"I won't get in your way-I promise, Gin-chan. I'll let you work and won't disturb you, I sweeeeaaar, so lemme staaaaaay, pleeeeaaaasssse". 

"Oi, it doesn't matter how long you drag out your words--you're not staying here. End of story!" 

"Pleeeeeaaaasssse, I'll be good! I'll do laundry, I'll make the beds, I'll buy you a parfait, I won't place Sadaharu on your bed while he's takin' a poop". 

"I knew that was your fault! I keep my bedroom door closed for a reason! Ah, get ooooff! I hate clingy womeeeeeen!" 

"Gin-chaaaaan~!" 

"Kaguraaaaaaa, get oooooff~!" 

"Please, Gin-chan? Please, please, please, please, pleeeeeeaaaase~!" 

"Agh! Alright! Fine! You can stay!" 

"Yay! Thank you, Gin-chan!" Kagura suddenly jumped up, wrapping her arms around Gintoki's neck for a better hug, although it weighed down on him greatly. 

"Ghuh! Ka-Kagura, stop clinging too me! This isn't you! Since when are you cute?! Ah! Stop!" 

Kagura let her legs dangle as Gintoki swayed a little, struggling to keep steady. He suddenly felt that he gave into her way too easily. It was a selfless act that left Gintoki in nothing but a ditch of regret. However, it was kinda worth it to see Kagura smile after what just happened with her brother. 

"Haha, Gin-chan't the best". 

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay. Get off now". Kagura hopped back off to the floor, her smile wide and truely happy. Gintoki scratched the back of his head, wanting to sleep already. 

"Alright, uhh...Before you go unpack your stuff in your old room, we're laying down some ground rules. One: don't disturb Gin-san while he's working. This is important, 'cause I will end up going insane. Second: do your share of chores around the house. Do your own laundry, clean your own dishes, take out the trash when its full and so on. Third: I'm not taking responsibility for the dog. Sadaharu is your responsibility. Take him for walks in the morning and afternoon, clean up his mess' and don't let him into my room, ever. Fourth rule: go to school. Fifth, and final rule until I come up with more: don't abuse the power of having a guardian who has money. I'm not a bank. If you want something from grocery shopping, write it down and I'll consider gettimg it. Okay? Those rules clear enough?" 

Kagura nodded, settling things finally. 

"Oh, sixth rule real quick. When Gin-san is napping, like now, be quiet. I need to reset my brain. If the phone rings, answer it and tell them to call back or leave a message". 

"Sure thing, Gin-chan. I'm gonna unpack now. Thanks for letting me stay". 

"No problem, kiddo". 

"Come on, Sadaharu". 

This was the point when Gintoki realised he had his work cut out for him. Having to look after Kagura, a kid, once again was a bit of an ordeal. But he made concrete rules this time, so hopefully she would follow them. Although it was slightly contrardictory to his own belief that rules are there to be broken, such as the incedents with his deadlines. Kagura left for her old room, which was at the far end of the main room, in the corner. Once the door was closed, the whole apartment silent, Gintoki headed to his bedroom to nap before starting his work again. If it wasn't now, he would never be able to rest. He had full intent to bury himself under thick layers of bed covers after many all-nighter's-two-which, for him, was considered too many. So it was straight to bed until the late afternoon, when he could focus on work with a clear head. Entering his room and removing nothing but his hoodie, which was dumped onto the floor carelessly, he dived under the covers of his bed and hugged his pillow as he shut his eyes. "Finally"; he thought, relaxed. And it wouldn't take long for him to fall into dreamland. He just didn't know when he would get out of it, in his tired condition. 

... 

Kagura, wanting nothing more than to grow up fast, took the initiative in preparing a sort of brunch for herself. She was, after all, kicked out of her brother's place during the morning without breakfast. She was a big eater, but didn't learn a lot from the guy who mostly goes out for ramen or sushi or whatever. Gintoki couldn't cook much--only simple things that anyone could grasp. The only thing Kagura could actually "cook" was egg on rice. Unpacking the very few items she had, Kagura went ahead to the kitchen area to prepare something while her roommate slept. With two thoughts in her mind; one hoping he wouldn't mind if she used the rice cooker; and two being that he actually took the time to buy groceries; Kagura looked in the usual rice bin for whatever amount of grain was left. Opening the wooden lid she found just enough for one or two people. Well, this was Kagura so two bowls for two people made up one bowl for her. After preparing the rice cooker with water, she scooped up every grain she could from the container and filled up the small appliance. All that was left was to wait. But, as she waited for the first few seconds or so, her mind immediatly went elsewhere when the phone rang from Gintoki's desk. He wasn't to be disturbed by anything, including the phone. Rushing over, as quietly as possible, Kagura answered the phone and silenced the ringing. 

"Uh, hello?" She answered quietly. 

["...! Kagura-chan, is that you?!"] It was Shinpachi. 

"Eh? Shin-chan, why are you calling? What's up?" 

Over the line a sigh of relief could by heard from the receiver. 

["Thank god you're okay. Did Kamui hurt you at all?"] 

"No, I'm alright. Gin-chan made him leave as soon as I was dumped back here". 

["I see. I'm glad you're alright. Is Gin-san there?"] 

"Yeah, but he's taking a nap right now. I shouldn't disturb him, otherwise he'll really go insane this time". 

["Ha, figures. He looked exhausted today at the office. For some reason, Otose didn't seem to worried"]. 

"I wouldn't worry about her; the old hag knows Gin-chan won't be dying any time soon. He's tough, he'll get through it". 

["You're right about that. It's good to hear that from another person. Uh, are you living with Gin-san again, then?"] 

"Uh-huh. I don't have anywhere else to go, after all. It took some convincing, though". 

["Oh, really? Well, I think Gin-san likes his space--but I'm sure he doesn't think of you as much trouble"]. 

"No, he does. He's just a big softy and let me stay after using the puppy-dog eyes".

["O-...kay. Anyway, I'm glad you're safe. Uh, Kagura, could you do me a favour and take a message for Gin-san. It's about his work, so please write it down"]. 

"Got it". She replied, picking up the notepad and pen from the desk. "Okay, what is it?" 

["Tell Gin-san he has an extension until tomorrow afternoon, at six. Can you give him that message?" 

Kagura scribbled down the message on the notepad as coherently as her fingers could grasp, nodding although it could not be seen. 

"Yuh-huh, got it. An extension until six in the afternoon tomorrow". 

["Thanks, Kagura. Otose was supposed to call, but something suddenly came up"]. 

"What, so they made the straight-man intern do it? How busy is everyone?" 

["What the hell is that supposed to mean?!"] Suddenly the rice cooker pinged, the contents inside ready to eat. 

"Uh, figure it out? I've gotta go, Shin-chan. Egg on rice is on call. See ya~". 

["Hey! Wait a minu-..."]. 

Kagura hung up, placing the phone back down in its slot as she proceeded back to the kitchen with food in mind. If only she could see the frustration on Shinpachi's face from the office, right before an employee asks for another cup of coffee casually as he walkd past the break room. Shinpachi was, in that moment, beginning to hate this part-time job. 

... 

During the evening, after Gintoki managed to complete half of a decent piece of work, he got ready to head into town to meet a friend for dinner. Nothing special, just a get-together after not being able to drink due to work. Yawning, Gintoki pushed his scooter out from the parking lot and near the entrance to the main road. He organised an early time, as he had to be back for Kagura, promising to bring something back for her dinner. This guy wasn't a good friend, just a guy who he knew and met up with every blue moon. Aside from that, he was a strange one; arguing about who should buy the last issue of JUMP from the shelves, at his age. Gintoki did argue back over buying the last issue of JUMP from the shelves, at his age, but that was longer neccessary due to that guy's job. Taking the trip into town, Gintoki's destination was a simple, ground floor sushi place that was now built among taller buildings. It was a place where mostly old men would gather for food and a drink past a certain time of night. The scooter was parked once more, near the side-walk before he entered. The atmosphere inside wasn't as lively as expected, the day being a Sunday. The settled atmosphere made it easier to find the guy, who sat at the main counter im front of the conveyor belts. 

"Yo, Zenozu". Gintoki greeted him, still standing at the door to catch his attention. It worked, Zenzou turning to greet Gintoki back. 

"Hey, it's been a while. You takin' a seat or what?" 

Gintoki didn't heitate much longer, sitting next to Zenzou at the counter. Hattori Zenzou, a weird guy who became a manga artist for JUMP a few years ago with a bad case of hemorrhoids and a bad fetish for unattractive women. Yes, he was the epitome of weird. But he wasn't bad company, as Gintoki could only admit to himself. 

"So, you get a haircut yet? You look like a hippie". 

"Heh, you sound like Sarutobi". 

"Don't say disturbing things like that". Gintoki suddenly formed goosebumps doen his arms upon hearing that. "It's weird. Hey, aren't you roommates with her?" 

"Yeah, ever since college graduation, I've been stuck with her. Not like it means anything, though, since she's already head over heels for you". 

"Ah-Come on, man~. I'm about to eat. Gimme a break". 

"Alright, alright. But she's not the weirdest person in the neighbourhood. She's surprisingly normal when she isn't around you". 

"That's true. I mean, you're not exactly "normal", are you?" 

"What's your justification?" 

"Well, you're a manga artist who looks like a hippie, with that haircut, you're childhood friends with a politician and a stalker and you have a fetish for fuglies". 

"Oh, no. No, no, nonononono...For one, I am a manga artist-a good one at that-second, I'm childhood friends with a guy who's too kind for his own good, who happens to be a politician, and I'm also childhood friends with YOUR stalker. Thirdly, I don't think my interest in natural beauty concerns you--and I like my hair. It doesn't make me look like a hippie".

"Whatever you say, Zenzou". Gintoki grumbled, taking a plate from the slowly turning conveyor belt. 

"So, what's been going on with you lately? How's work?" 

"Exhausting, that's all there is to it". 

"At least the pay is good, no matter what job you take". 

"I can't really say that anymore since I've got a lot of money stored in my account. It's too much for me to get rid of, so I'm more practical with it". 

"That's normal, you know. I, surprisingly, don't get paid a lot in my jobs. It sucks". 

"But you love your job". 

"I do...I do love my job. The only thing I really hate is that people know my face. I get crowded around a bunch of fake girls at signings, it's the worst". 

"Aren't they mostly teenagers?" 

"Certainly look like it. Aah...I wanna go back to writing shounen manga. Your job is different; if people knew your identity, you'd be surrounded by more mature women. You used to quite loose at the start of your writing career, weren't you?". 

It was true that Gintoki's readers were often proper adults or college students, but he never met them once. He refused to reveal himself at signings and such, using the pen name "Gin" on the cover of his books. That could have been a Gintoki or Ginko, for all the readers knew. They didn't: that was the point. Gintoki knew that the constant crowds would only give him a headache. All that attention would send him to an early grave from the amount of pressure put on his back, whether it was a heart attack from stress or lung cancer from returning to his old smoking habits. What would be even worse was a relationship with a fan. He kept his identity a secret for a reason and he didn't have enough room for people he could possibly trust outside of his current circle of friends and aquaintances. To him, a lover would just be another headache. In the past, at the start of his career as an author, Gintoki was quite "loose", as Zenzou had just described it. It was nothing but anonymous sex after meeting a nice young woman at a bar or somewhere of the like. But, after a while, although Gintoki couldn't admit it, he only felt emptiness from those nights. It was quite lonely, having never been emotionally, or even really physically close with these women. After sobering up, it was one or the other that would leave the hotel room first. It was mostly the women who left first, as Gintoki could grimly recall from the back of his mind. He would lie alone under dirtied sheets with a cigarrette between his lips and a blank expression fixed to his face. It was always the expression of adaption, of getting too used to the silence of the room, and the mild chill that would pass through. Those beds were always too big for just him. His excuse now was simply that work got in the way. When, in actual fact, Gintoki had a lot of free time during the year aside from monthly work or the spark of a new novel coming to life. Inbetween, there was always the silence and the chill of isolation. 

"Zenzou, I'd rather not bring up the past. It's in the past for a reason". 

"Right. Sorry...". 

"Don't worry about it". 

They stayed in the restraunt for about an hour; no more, no less time spent in idle conversation as serving passed around the conveyor belts. With a full stomach and a little alcohol in his system, Gintoki left the place with a tempation to reach into his pocket for a cigarrette. It didn't take long for him to remember that he hadn't bought a pack of cigarrettes for months, and naturally stuffed both hands in his pockets as not to give away his temptation to go to the nearest stall to get some. 

"I'll see ya later, Gintoki. Take care of that girl at home, okay?" 

"I don't need advice from someone who has never been a guardian for a child in his life". 

"And I don't plan to. See ya". Zenzou went his own way down the street, heading for his own apartment building. 

Gintoki sighed deeply, the air frosting his breath as it escaped his lips. Well, it was less poisonous, but made his lungs feel heavy. Attempting to push the thought out of his head, Gintoki headed for his scooter. First he would have to stop by the convenience store for some instant ramen, since he was too tired to cook for Kagura. He would have to take her someplace decent to make it up to her, especially after recent events. Gintoki got on the scooter, putting on his helmet before starting it and driving off down the steet. There was a convenience store close to the apartment, so it wouldn't take too long to get back, if traffic was kind to him. Navigating his vehicle down the streets, Gintoki quickly decided to take a short cut. He turned a corner, heading straight on ahead towards an opening that led into the right street. As he approuched this at a rather high speed, he immediatly hit the brakes as fast as he could as the hood of a car appeared from behind the wall. 

"Aah! Fuck!" He cursed, the scooter scidding to a halt in front of the vehicle that suddenly appeared. Worst of all, it was a cop car. 

Now, out of all the cops that patrolled Tokyo during that time at nigh, there was at least a one in one-hundred chance that it was a very specific guy. A guy who, whenever they met, an argument would start whether this particular cop was on duty or off duty. It all began when their chief, Kondou decided to stalk Shinpachi's elder sister, Otae because he'd fallen madly in love with her. Gintoki just roughed him up a bit for his insolence and lack of understanding that Otae had no interest in him. Little did he know, at the time, of the demonic vice-chief who respected this stalker gorilla. To claim vengance for Kondou's injuries and loss, despite his strength, the demonic vice-chief, Toushiro Hijikata challenged Gintoki to the same fist fight, but also ended up losing. Ever since that day, Gintoki and Hijikata have been running into eachother, arguing and also slowly finding out they weren't so different. Of course, neither of them would admit that fact. And, at that moment when Gintoki nearly crashed into this police car, this fact would become clear. 

Gintoki took one look at the person in the driver's seat and immediatly felt frustrated. Why? Why did it have to be that guy? Once Hijikata, who was in the driver's seat spotted Gintoki being the perpetrator on the scooter, he immediatly felt his frustration from a hard day's work weigh down on him further. Because of this sudden incedent, he was ready to snap. In the passenger seat sat Sougo Okita, who had an aloof expression on his face. Of course he would. The chances of them crashing and being the one to die from it were very slim. He looked to Hijikata from the corner of his eyes, feeling disappointed that they hadn't crashed, thus ejecting the airbags and crushing Hijikata's lungs, which would have been rotted and weak from his smoking habits. A true disappointment on Sougo's part. 

"What the-You...!" When Hijikata realised it was Gintoki, the anger was clear on his face. 

"You...!" Gintoki was just the same, not wanting to deal with the demonic vice-chief after such a long and tiring day. 

The two exited their vehicles in unison; Gintoki hopping off his scooter, ready to give an earful to Hijikata, who had exited the car with a slam of the door. They approuched eachother with clenched fists and the words of hatred stirring in their minds. When close enough, their foreheads clashed as they stared at eachother with a near intent to kill or attack. This, however, was becoming normal to their peers who witnessed it. For ordinary citezens of Tokyo, it was truely terrifying to watch, especially from a police officer. 

"What the hell do you think you're doing, bastard?" Hijikata began, speaking through clenched teeth. That didn't last. "Can't you read the signs?! This is a pedestrain walkway! You nearly crashed into us from your stupidity! Anything to say for yourself?" 

"Yeah. Lay off! I've seen plenty of kids go down this so-called "walkway" on bikes! Annoy them for a change and do your job, tax thief!" 

When it came to situations like this, their jobs or positions in society didn't matter. When these two fought, they were fighting the person. Gintoki fought with Hijikata, not the Vice-Chief of police. Hijikata fought with Gintoki, not the best-selling writer. 

"I am doing my job, you damn natural perm! I have half a mind to drag your ass down to the station for misuse of a road. What if someone was walking down this way? You could have hit them, which would give me an excuse to throw you in jail for assault or even manslaughter. You could even be under the influence of alcohol right now". 

"Don't falsly accuse me of such things! I'm just a guy who wanted to take a short cut in order to get home! Gimme a break! " 

"Ohh, no. That's not happening today. "Sir", I'm gonna have to check if you are under the influence of alcohol. Sougo, get the breathalyser from the trunk! This should be good practice for you!" 

"Sure thing, asshole cop". Okita insulted Hijikata as he got out of the car. 

"What did you just call me, shitty brat?! Want me to end your apprenticeship?!" 

"Ugh, no. Fine, just wait a sec'. I'll get it". 

"Woah, woah, woah!" Gintoki waved his hands in front of Hijikata as a gesture for him to pause and think about this. "Look, you don't have to go that far! I'm fine! I'm not drunk!" 

"Hah, we'll see". Hijikata grinned sadistically, placing a cigarrette between his lips and lighting it. "You look nervous, better save that for when I arrest you for driving under the influence of alcohol". 

He really was a demon; Gintoki thought. That devilish look in his eyes only bore hatred for Gintoki. Although he was nervous, Gintoki had only one small cup of sake at the sushi place. He knew he would be driving home, so he decided not to drink a lot. He would be fine and not get arrested. He hoped for the best as he leaned against his scooter, going along with the proceedure as the tube in the device went between his lips. He breathed normally for a few seconds before Hijikata retracted it and checked the numbers on the screen. He looked shocked--but not because their was a huge amount of alcohol found on his breath, but because their was a very, very small amount found. 

"Ahh, Hijikata, I guess this means you can only give Boss a warning for tonight". Okita pointed out, tapping Hijikata's shoulder. "No arrests. He's pretty much clean". 

Hijikata's eye twitched for a second before his expression relaxed. He took the cigarrette from his lips and sighed, a cloud of smoke drifting from them. 

"Fine...". He said in a frustrated tone. "I'll let you off with a warning. If I see you driving down this walkway again, or I see any miconduct from you, which is considered against the law, I won't hesitate to arrest you. Do I make myself clear?" 

"Yeah, yeah. Now I have a warning for you; sort out that habit of furrowing your brow". Gintoki placed his finger to Hijikata's forehead as his eyebrows remained furrowed. "If you keep that up, you'll only age quicker and live as a grumpy old man before you reach thirty. See ya". 

"Wha-you...! Gaaaah, you piss me off!" Hijikata yelled as Gintoki got back on his scooter. "He really pisses me off!" 

"Hijikata-san, relax. You haven't been sleeping. Want me to end your misery already?" 

"Shut up, Sougo! Get back in the car, I'll drive you home. We're done here". 

The two got back in the car as Gintoki went on his merry way. Neither of them needed that argument that night, but it couldn't be helped. Just seeing eachother's faces was enough to set off defect fireworks that explode in your face and possibly kill you. In other words, they certainly didn't have a good relationship. Gintoki focused on the road in front of him, keeping a sigh down in his chest. No more sighing, he'd sighed enough for one day. The slight frustration still hung in the air, and a bad taste was left in Gintoki's mouth. He felt bad for any woman Hijikata's slept with, because it was obvious a guy like him would never have a proper relationship. His job wouldn't allow him that much free time, anyway, but loners are loners through and through. Even that pissed Gintoki off, since he felt the same way. He couldn't possibly keep a proper relationship with his personality and career the way it was. It pissed him off. That guy pissed him off. 

"Gaaaaah! He pisses me off!" Gintoki cried out, his voice echoing throughout the open road as he continued to drive, frustration and anger weighing in on him. He just wanted the day to end already. 

... 

Finally, he arrived back at his apartment. Leaning against his door, convenience store bag in hand, Gintoki exhaled deeply. The lights inside the apartment were still on, T.V playing some random anime channel. However, Kagura couldn't be seen at first. Only the sound of her voice could be heard from behind the sofa. 

"Welcome back, Gin-chan. Have fun at your date?" 

"It wasn't a date. It was just Zezou". 

"Right, the hemorrhoids guy. Did you kiss yet?" 

"Stop thinking it was a date--we're both men and he's definitely not my type. Now, get your ass over here. I bought some instant ramen for you". 

"Oh, okay. Pickled kelp too?" 

"Yeah, but eat this first before bed. Sorry it took so long". 

Gintoki prepared the instant ramen pot for Kagura, filling it to the appropriate point when the water in the kettle had boiled. Kagura came towards the kitchen area, sitting on one of the high stools at the table. She seemed to have a little more energy, despite being left alone in the apartment for approximately and hour or so. The company she had was Sadaharu, but that may have been enough for her. 

"I'm sorry I couldn't make something decent. It's getting late and I'm pretty tired. I'll go grocery shopping when I finished my work, okay?" 

"It's okay. Having instant ramen for one night won't kill me". 

"When my work's done, I have some free time and when my sleep cycle is normal again I'll take you someplace nice for dinner to make it up to you". 

"You'd better". Kagura suddenly responded coldly. 

"Why the hell has your attitude changed so quickly?! I said I'll take you out--so I will! Geez...". 

Gintoki served the "meal" to Kagura, yawning and stretching as she dug in immediatly. 

"I'm going to take a bath and then go to bed. You should do the same as soon as you're finished. You've got school tomorrow, don't you?" 

"Uhm-hmn...". She mumbled, her mouth stuffed with ramen. 

Gintoki shook his head to himself, unable to bear his exhaistion for much longer. He wished Kagura a quick goodnight before heading to one of the two bathrooms, which was in his bedroom. No more exhausting events for the day, just sleep. He planned to do so as soon as his body hit the mattress and curled underneath the soft sheets and covers. He longed to melt into the comfort of his bed until the early hours of the morning when he had to get up and make something acceptable for Kagura's breakfast before school. But he didn't want his thoughts to wander there for now. Only after his long bath did he finally melt, covering himself completely within the warmth and safety of his sheets. He didn't waste much time as he slipped on a random t-shirt and pair of boxers before diving in. In many aspect, a big, double, western styled bed was better than his old futon. Although a futon was comfortable, the covers weren't as big. And upon purchasing, Gintoki made sure to get as soft a mattress as possible. In his opinion, he did. 

Within his long needed sleep, he was suddenly awoken by the creak of his door. With his face buried into the pillow and the covers shrouded over his head, Ginoki's ears pricked up, metaphorically, and woke him up. He couldn't prevent a long sigh from escaping his lungs, a moist feeling momentarily surfacing the pillow. 

"Uh, Gin-chan?" It was Kagura, whispering quietly and almost nervously. 

"Yeah, Kagura?" He knew he set a rule that stated she couldn't disturb him while he was sleeping, but by the sound of her voice, he could bend that rule for just then. 

"Uh, S-Sadaharu got scared during the night and, uh...I thought I could keep him company in your room. You know how much he likes you". 

With that, Gintoki stopped himself from mentioning the many times that dog bit his hand or ankles. For such a small package, Sadaharu had a huge bite. It was obvious to Gintoki why Kagura had came into his room with such a nervous tone of voice. He didn't raise his head, but closed his eyes as he gave in to that voice. 

"Bring him in then. Just make sure he doesn't shit everywhere, otherwise I'm putting him up for adoption". 

"Thanks, Gin-chan. He won't do anything to disturb you, I promise". 

The tapping of Kagura's footsteps approuched, and there was a gentle creak of the bed as well as a shift of the covers. Gintoki sensed the presence of both Kagura and Sadaharu being quite close to him. Opening his eyes once more, looking through the corner, he could see a slight red under Kagura's eyes from the small ray of moonlight that came through the crack in the curtains. She held Sadaharu close as he lay down and curled up in a ball. Gintoki nuzzled his face back into the pillow, his arms hugging it. It was surprisingly quiet as soon as she settled down. The darkness settled in, especially when Gintoki kept his eyes shut and his mind clear. Dreamland was once again seconds away, but at the back of his mind reality remained intact. At the back of his mind, he knew he had his hands full, like last time and the time before that. Only, this time, Gintoki chose to keep a closer eye on Kagura from now on. No matter where she went, with Sadaharu in her arms, Gintoki would follow close behind and watch her back. It was her choice to get herself upset over her brother and such, but Gintoki wanted to be there whenever she was dragged back to the apartment. He felt more responsible for her now than her brother had ever been. He felt that, if her choices continued and led her towards any harm, Gintoki knew he would have to step in and do something. He never thought he would be responsible for her at all, even when he and Shinpachi almost ran her over on the scooter--their first meeting. It was too late to take any of that back now. He didn't regret it, he just...felt the most responsibility. He refused to break the barrier of reality from the back of his mind then, when he wanted nothing more than to sleep. Gintoki let his mind go balnk once more, his eyelids heavy as they closed. Sleep was important until the next day, when he would be finishing that short script for the old hag. Out of everything at the back of his mind, that had to be the one thing that broke through. 

Damn it... He thought, failing to slip into sleep once again.


	2. To Be An Acquaintance, You Don't Even Have To Like The Other Person

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back because I wanted to do more as soon as I could. I'm...going crazy with this writing thing. Aaah...But I enjoy it! Anyway, here's a thing. More characters. Yay. Introductions. Yay. Also, the perspectives will be switching around quite a bit. You'll see what I mean, and I hope it's okay and not too fast paced. Just think of it like an episode of the anime...unless you've only read the manga. Meh, it's probably the same with switching scenes.

To be acquainted with someone, you don't even have to like them. Gintoki had plenty of experience with this, knowing many people who he considered acquaintances...but didn't really consider friends outwardly, nevermind family. He grew up never really knowing one and got used to that, although there were moments in his life that were filled with joy and a feeling of security knowing that he could call the guy next to him a friend. It never dawned on him that these words were never said aloud, therefore he wonders if he had made mistakes. Well, of course he had. No one goes through their whole life without doing something stupid at the cost of someone else's composure or time. There was one person who fit perfectly into that category of people who became a sacrifice of stupidity. The images blurred, flashing in his head like and erratic light swinging from above. He couldn't see very clearly, his body heavy and unable to move. Orange and red blasted his vision, echoing voices all around as the world swayed and collapsed. Gintoki felt his eyes roll back in a daze, a memory filling his head that he thought was once forgotten. It was gone. That smile...It was gone...and it wasn't coming back.

("Sensei...Sensei!") The cries continued, more vivid and heartbreaking. The sirens...The dizziness...The tears wouldn't stop. ("Sensei...Sensei...Sen-"). 

"Sensei...!" A bright light blasted from the windows, Gintoki suddenly sitting up as he had woken up fully in a cold sweat. 

He panted, calming himself down gradually. He relaxed, bringing his knees closer to his chest and covering his eyes from the bright morning light that shone through. It had been so long...So long since he had that kind of dream--no...More like a nightmare. In his state of shock, he couldn't help but go over it in his head. It was so vague, but there so much he couldn't forget. He couldn't escape it, no matter how much he looked away. He blamed having such a nightmare on his recent lack of sleep, which had been the case for the same nightmare in previous years. Inhaling deeply, Gintoki took a moment to relax. Running his fingers through his hair, he pushed the loose strands back as he finally exhaled within a deep sigh. He didn't want to remember this. Gintoki would rather push it away from his conscious thoughts and store it in the unconscious, where it couldn't be reached. He didn't want to be torn apart by the past, like certain people. He'd only go crazy. 

Just then, a knock came at the bedroom door. Gintoki raised his head, knowing it was Kagura. She would have heard his cry. 

"Shit...Come in, Kagura". He didn't want to worry her too much. It was just a nightmare, after all. As if he would even tell her that. 

"Gin-chan, you okay? I heard you from the kitchen. Did you call for me?" She asked, peering through a little. 

"Yeah, I'm fine. Don't worry, I didn't call for you or anything. Uh...Are you goin' to school now?" 

"Yup. Shinpachi's gonna walk with me, which kinda sucks since I don't wanna be seen with that otaku loser". 

"I don't remember high school being that rough, but okay. Did you have anything for breakfast?" 

"I just made toast". 

"Eaten it yet?" 

"Nope. I'm gonna run down the street with it in my mouth". 

"Attagirl. Live the anime dream". 

"I will, Gin-chan. See ya later. Take good care of Sadaharu for me". 

She left the bedroom, shutting the door behind her. The muffled sound of her goodbyes to her pet dog could be heard, lifting Gintoki's spirits a little. He sighed, his smile disappearing then. He had a manuscript to finish by six in the afternoon. With the way the story was going, he could hand it in earlier and just take the rest of the day off. A new issue of JUMP was to be released that day, anyhow. He crawled out of bed, each sheet astray and waiting to be tidied up. Stretching his arms up and out, Gintoki headed for the bathroom by his room. First a long bath and then breakfast. He needed to wake up without coffee in his system. That was the plan set for the morning, as well as getting his work done. 

... 

Kagura exited the apartment building, bookbag in hand and uniform on once again. It had been quite a few days since she walked to school from Gintoki's apartment, which she kinda missed. Near the train station would be Shinpachi, waiting to walk her when nobody asked him too. It was bothersome that people thought she liked him as more than a friend, but that's just how high school students were. Although, Kagura was still a junior--which made the situation even more scandalous. With the few friends she maintained, it was a pain when each of them asked about her and the damn megane character that followed her. Her eyebrow twitched at the thought, stopping for a moment down the street in order to push the thought away. 

"Oh, look who's back. I was beginnin' to think you had gone forever this time. What a shame". That voice...That sarcastic tone... 

This early in the morning and Kagura was ready to blow a gasket. She sighed, turning to the person that approuched out of nowhere. Sougo Okita, super sadist and all around douchebag. 

"Oh, look who it is, the sadist. Shouldn't you be going to school, college boy?" She asked in her own sarcastic tone. "If you hang around a girl my age for too long, people'll think you're some college pervert who likes junior high girls". 

"I dunno, you look more like an elementary school kid. And you can't prove that. I prefere women who are a little older so I can prove how dumb they are compared to me, the supposed college boy". 

"You take enjoyment in that? Sicko, I could have you arrested". 

"You know I have an apprenticeship with the cops". 

"God knows how. Anyway, I don't have time for you. I have to go, or I'll be late". 

"Fine by me. You're stinking up the street with your childish deodorant anyway". 

"That's it! You wanna go?!" 

Kagura snapped into action, ready to smack Okita into next week. She had no fear of him, didn't think of him as superior because of their age gap. She'd fight him however she could, with whatever strength she had. 

"You know I don't really care about hitting women, right?" He said with a smile, stuffing his hands in his pockets as he silently denied Kagura's challenge. 

"And I don't care about beating the crap outta childish boys who aged quicker than they should have done. I will end you! How dare you make fun of my perfume! It's not childish at all, asshole!" 

"Then, since I don't wanna be questioned by Hijikata about why I beat the hell outta a fourteen-year-old girl, how about we settle it some other way? How about this upcoming Sunday we go to the arcade in town and challenge eachother to a bunch of games. I have nothing to do then and I know you're a sore loser, so what do ya say?" 

"Bring it on! Hah, I know how much of a sore loser you are too. You're gonna get your butt handed to ya. See ya, nerd". 

Kagura gave a quick wave, a determind look on her face as she headed down the street, placing the piece of toast in her mouth as she began to run. Okita shook his head to himself, continuing his own way down the street to a nearby bus stop in order to head his own way, to college. It seemed like a waste of time, knowing he couldn't fail. The atmosphere to him was so dull and a pain. The conversations that a group of girls would have consisted of the same boring gossip. "Okita's so cute", "Okita's so cool". The same old bullcrap, different year, different school. It didn't interest him at all. The only thing he enjoyed was making a fool out of those people, men and women of the like. But it seemed his interest lied more in Kagura. She was different from others, picking a fight with him and calling him "Stupid", "Asshole sadist", etc. He hated to admit it, even on his own, but he did take a little enjoyment in challenging her. Okita didn't consider her a friend, of course, but a...an aquaintance. Nothing more than that, nothing less--if that were possible. 

... 

High school was easier than expected for Shinpachi, because he had numerous friends who supported their all-time favourite idle Tsuu Terakado, or Otsuu-chan. Other students didn't interact with them because it would be fruitless to get involved with otaku like them. It was free speech, so no one concerned themselves in their hobbies. Besides, pretty much everyone had heard about how strict Shinpachi was when it came to their fan club rules and regulations. He would act brutally towards any member ready to step one toe out of line in front of the whole school. This was an embarrassment for Kagura, since everyone in her class knew that she walked with him to school. Of course there was also Shinpachi's elder sister, Otae. She was considered the boss around senior grounds, terrifying most juniors and keeping other seniors, mainly boys, at bay. Her closest friend was Kyubei Yagyuu, someone who stayed by her side out of more than just friendship, but a one-sided love. Although physically female, Kyubei had been raised as a male and, therefore, took it upon herself to wear boy's clothing, even at school. Keeping to herself, no one knew of her true gender aside from Otae. They remained close ever since beginning in junior high.

"Shin-chan, are you still going to Gin-san's apartment for tutoring?" Otae asked Shinpachi after meeting with him in the school library during a study period. "Oh, yeah, Sis'. It's really important, since I'm kinda struggling with English". 

"Well, he's not totally useless. Will you be able to stay at home yourself when you come back?" 

"Uh...yeah. Why, are you working late again?" 

"Yep, sorry, Shin-chan". 

"Don't worry about, Sis'. I'm sixteen already. I can manage". 

Both siblings worked part-time to help support eachother, since they no longer had their parents. Once Otae, being the oldest, was of legal age she could support Shinpachi herself...or at least try her best. She felt bad that he had to work part-time, too, but it was good of Gintoki to help him get a job at the publishing offices. Or, at least, Shinpachi nagged him for one because he felt bad about his older sister being the only one who had to work. Otae would have protested if she knew he was doing it in the first place, but, realistically, she needed all the help she could get in order to pay rent for their small apartment. A day didn't go by when Otae wished she could buy back their father's dojo on the outskirts of Tokyo, but it just wasn't possible with their income. The most she had was being leader of the martial arts club at school; teaching girls how to deal with stalkers quickly and effectively, knowing how from experience. 

"I'll be going back to Kyubei now, so keep studying". 

"I plan to. Thanks Sis', I appreciate it". 

Just as she was about to head back to her table, where Kyubei was seated, at the corner of her eye, Otae noticed and remembered the bento box in her bag that swung on her forearm like a handbag. She smiled, feeling silly. 

"Oh, I almost forgot. You left your lunch in a trash can by the school. Don't know how it got in there. I cleaned it up, so it should be fine. Here you go, Shin-chan". 

Otae placed the box on the desk, which immediatly radiated danger as a dark mist seeped through the cracks of the box. Did she know he would have put it in the trash and just faked a smile as if he only left it in the kitchen? The hell? 

"U-uhh...I'm okay, Sis'. I already ate a curry bread earlier". 

"That's not very filling. Here, enjoy the lunch I made for you. I think I put a little too much salt on the side dishes, but it should be edible enough". 

Shinpachi, hesitant and honestly terrified, opened up the bento box within the confined space that was the library. His eyes widened, a gag coming on but then crawling back down as even that was too scared to face the monstrosity known has his lunch. It couldn't possibly be described as anything, a black crust covering, what was assumed to be, the rice balls and an oil spill seeping from the tamogayaki that was stuck to the corner of the box. 

"What the hell is this?!" He couldn't hold back his cry, shocked and confused as to how such a disaster was created. "Did you make this? Or did a nuclear factory make this?!" 

"Shin-chan, stop yelling. This is a libray, you'll get in trouble". 

"How has no one evacuated yet?! Look at this! O-oh god, I think I saw something move...".

"I told you: I added too much salt". 

"How is that too much salt?! Is this your science project by accident?! What the hell is-Mmph!" 

Suddenly, Otae's palm slammed into Shinpachi's face, squeezing it in her man-hands to shut him up. Still, she held a smile as she tried to hold her composure just as steady. 

"Shin-chan. I told you that this was a library. You have to keep quiet, otherwise you'll face the consequences. Okay? Understand?" 

He nodded, feeling a bit suffocated. Retracting her hand, Shinpachi gasped deeply, coughing and adjusting his glasses to make sure she didn't break them. The laws of physics were on his side, it seemed, as his glasses weren't broken or even cracked. This didn't mean he would eat the biological weapon plastered into a bento box, served by his sister. He would die--Shinpachi would definitely die. 

"Uehh...Th-thank you, Sis'. I'm sure it'll be...delicious...". 

"Mm-hm, it will be. Enjoy, Shin-chan". 

As soon as Otae left the area, heading back to her own table, Shinpachi dropped his forehead against the surface of the table. Next time he would have to be more efficient when throwing it out instead of just going in a blind dash to rid himself of the toxic bento box that now polluted the library's desk. If he was going to get rid of it, he would have to scrape...and scrape, and scrape for all the taint and the impurity to unstick from the box. But that could end up causing the zombie apocolypse or worse. He trembled at the thought of forcing himself to eat such a thing. There was no other choice. Zombie apocolypse or not he had to get rid of it. To eat that would be more painful than watching a cringefest of an all-loli harem! 

... 

It took its time, but the two-page manuscript practically wrote itself. Gintoki was more confident about this one, a lot less pressure hanging over his head like a ton of bricks. Although still tired from his previous nightmare, his mind was a little at ease. The only thing to worry about was what Otose thought. It was just a short story, which didn't matter as much as the books he produced. Speaking of which, after a lot of approval, they were planning sales for his most recent novel soon. It was finished a couple months ago and was ready for editing and the decision on how many to put on the shelves after such a wait. The advertisement would go out in only a few days or so. It was a god-send to hear the book had been approved and not sent back for a redo. It seemed special enough for everyone who read the script to feel touched by the final words written amd praise "Gin's" work for the millionth time since he began writing. The ideas had to dispand eventually, leaving a gap that kept Gintoki from coming up with new stories. He didn't specialise in any specific genre and mostly went with the flow when typing each and every word, sentence, paragraph, etc. He didn't quite remember his methods of inspiration. The most he could remember was back when he lived alone, at a time when he struggled pay rent and did odd jobs while writing his very first novel. He would lie flat on the apartment floor, hardwood pressing into the curved structure of his bones and joint, as he would stare up at the ceiling with a cigarrette in hand. With every drag came relaxation, a clear mind and soon enough...inspiration. He would picture the scenes within the huge space of blank thoughts, like drawing on blank paper. The image would create itself, and so would the story. It was odd how most of his inspiration came to him when alone, in solitude. Even as a child he would stare balnkly at the sky or the drifting cherry blossoms and write whatever came into his head. Reality didn't seem so real anymore. It was an escape, almost. He still made pictures in his head, staring out at the sky from his apartment window. Staring out there for so long made him really think that there was more out there in the world, so much life beyond the tall buildings that blocked out all the scenery and the stars at night. He was taught that a long time ago; that he could go beyond where he currently was and evolve into something else. Maybe not something something bigger or smaller...but something...new. 

He blinked several times, pulling his eyelids open only to be blinded by the bright screen of his laptop. Gintoki's chin and jawline felt sore pressing into his crossed arms, which rested on the surface of his desk. He had fallen asleep. A heavy yawn escaped past his throat, his eyes watering a little bit. Gintoki sat up leaning back against his chair carefully as his spine cracked back into a comfortable place. Stretching his arms up, Gintoki momentarily forgot what he was doing. The manuscript...He had printed it off and then blacked out. With that thought, his gaze shifted to the printer by his laptop. It had certainly printed. He yawned again, staying layed back. 

"God, this is a pain in the ass". He grumbled to himself, staring up at the ceiling with heavy eyelids that were ready to close again. 

With another heavy sigh, he sat properly and looked to the alarm clock by his desk. That clock was a motivation, almost, keeping him motivated to finish small pieces of work so that the old hag didn't yell at him for missing deadlines. It was only two in the afternoon, so he still had plenty of time to deliver it, purchase jump and come back soon enough for Shinpachi's tutoring session. He owed that much since Shinpachi didn't get paid a lot at the publishers office. Gintoki stood, prepared to hand his work in early and pray that it was good enough for Otose to publish. If it wasn't, he was also prepared to beat the shit out of the guy in charge of the printers for yet another extension. Only out of anger, though. Dragging the two-page manuscript, Gintoki stabled it together at a corner before gently sliding it into a compartment within his bag for work. He pulled the strap over his shoulder before grabbing his keys and heading out for the offices. In his head, he repeated; This was such a pain in the ass...

... 

The publishing office was filled to the brim with employees, all working on seperate tasks for different projects. Gintoki headed to Otose's office to hand in his work, but stopped near a private room in the offices as something, or someone, caught his eye behind the glass doors. It was the meeting room in the offices, where Gintoki would be seated with other's in order to decide sales. Inside the room currently, before Gintoki passed it, was Kotarou Katsura, Gintoki's editorand childhood friend. He appeared to be looking over some papers, focusing on his work. There was nothing unusual there. Gintoki entered the room to greet him as he usual did. 

"Hey, Zura". 

"Gintoki, how many times must I tell you?" He began, raising his head to look at Gintoki with a stern expression, his eyes almost darkening. "I'm not Zura--I'm Katsura!" 

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever you say, buddy". Gintoki wished to move on swiftly already, sticking his pinky finger in his ear to rid it of irritation. 

Gintoki had known Katsura since they were children, that was justification enough to label him as his childhood friend. Katsura became Gintoki's editor a short while after Gintoki became an author; deciding which colours to use for the cover, fixing any minor errors within the story and so on. Of course, Katsura did do other jobs around the offices just to pay the bills, but he didn't mind. Just as long as he could focus on personal work as well. 

"Haah...Anyway," Katsura began, taking his eyes off the sheets of paper before him. "I assume that you've finished your work if you're here". 

"Yep. Just handin' it into Granny now. I just hope it's enough". 

"I wouldn't worry, Gintoki. If Otose-san approves, then the printers will approve too". 

"You're right about that". 

"So, uh, I have the list of people attending the sales meeting tomorrow, in case you wanted to know who you're up against". 

"I don't really care. They'll argue and spout about the new book and how many to sell until the old hag steps in and makes a better judgement. It's the same old stchick every time, so I'm not worried". 

"That sounds just like uou, not getting involved in disputes that you personally have no part in. At the end of the day, you make the artwork while the gallery just has to sell it". 

"Exactly...". Gintoki murmered, flicking his pinky finger towards the corner of the room to get rid of whatever he scratched from his ear. 

Katsura looked over the papers once more, thoroughly, before he froze and his expression snapped into something more serious. Gintoki noticed this and grew curious. 

"What is it? What's that look for?" He asked, walking around the meeting's table to check the papers for himself. 

"Haah, well, you're going to find out anyway". Katsura sighed, passing the papers over to Gintoki before crossing his arms. 

Thoroughly, Gintoki looked over the names of people attending the next few meetings for different authors or writers of the like. There was one in particular that caught his eye, including the date of the meeting. Both Gintoki and Shinsuke Takasugi were registered to have a joint meeting the next day. Takasugi... Gintoki's eyes widened, his hand clenching around the paper and crumpling the corner within his fist. Katsura looked at Gintoki seriously, his surprise already past its stage. 

"Gintoki, look, I know-...?! Gintoki!" 

Before Katsura got the chance to say anymore, Gintoki let the papers slip from his fingers as he ran out of the room and to Otose's office. He rushed in, letting the door shut behind him as he slammed his hands on the desk to gain her attention. Otose didn't react, cigarrette in hand, as if she had predicted his reaction beforehand. 

"Otose, why the hell do I have a joint meeting with Shinsuke Takasugi?! I don't get it...I thought-". 

"Some idiot on the third floor leaked information about his upcoming book. Because of that, expectations were raised too high and sales plans had to be sped up before the media decided to kick us in the teeth. It wasn't my decision, Gintoki. I argued as best as I could, knowing you two don't exactly get along. But those idiots ignored me and went along with the schedule anyway. I'm sorry". 

Gintoki calmed himself down from her clear explaination. He sunk into one of the chairs facing her, lowering his head. He smiled a weak smile of defeat. 

"I bet he was just as shocked, huh? Guess I'll have to put up with it". 

"I guess you will". 

Gintoki let out a sigh, unable to resist the thought of his sworn enemy meeting him after such a long time. He had his reasons--they both did--for the hatred and the rivalry. But the past was fixed in the past, nothing could change it now. Gintoki and Takasugi knew this, but they both had very different perspectives about the events following that past, from what was in the present. It was odd how they both became authors, gradually building a name for themselves after being former childhood friends and even collegues at one point. But, when it came down to it, the two men walked totally different paths. They were no longer friends, but more like...aquaintances. Someone they used to know, in other words. They went to the offices on seperate days for a reason. 

"Uh...That aside, here's my script for the magazine. I finished it early". 

Gintoki reached into his bag, slipping the two pages out and leaving them on the desk, like he said he would. He got up after, saying nothing as no more words were needed. As he opened the door, Otose spoke. 

"Aren't you gonna apologise for rudely barging into my office?" Otose asked, taking a drag of her cigarrette. 

Gintoki didn't turn back, but simply replied: 

"It's not like you were doing anything secret. Why fix something that isn't broken in the first place, I say. See ya, Granny". 

He exited, adjusting the strap of his bag over his shoulder as he walked out. Otose shook her head, leaning back in her chair. "He never changes", she thought as she puffed out the smoke that would eventually cloud the room. 

... 

Gintoki stopped by the convenience store to pick up JUMP, while he had time. Although, as he looked to the last copy on the shelf he had a very hrief epiphany. "I'm too old for JUMP, but I can't stop reading". He always considered himself a child at heart, which seemed to be his justification for filling up a whole spare room which JUMP comics. He didn't need to feel embarrassed buying it, unless it was the cute female teller behind the counter. Ever since she turned up, he pretended to get JUMP for his "daughter" (Kagura), along with a strawnerry milk carton and Pocky sticks. As he picked up the copy, he made an insisting attempt not to flick through the pages while she was there, dropping change into the cashier as she smiled cheerfully at the old lady at the counter. It had been a while since he had been interested in anyone, aside from Ketsuno Ana, the weather lady. But, just like her, it was obvious the young woman behind the counter in her cute apron was out of his league--considering himself an old man, although only in his late twenties. He felt discouraged, but went on anywau. It wasn't like he wanted to date her or anything--being out of his league and all--he just thought she was cute. He took the items to the counter in their basket, receiving a smile and a warm welcome from the girl. Gintoki knew she was just being polite, but his mind and his balls were in two different places...or so to speak. 

"Are these for your daughter?" She asked, scanning the prices smoothly. 

"Who?-O-oh, yeah. She's an afid reader of JUMP. But I make a habit of marking the pages, you see, so she doesn't read anything she shouldn't". 

"Yeah, I know. I admire your responsibility. Parents usually don't pay attention to anything these days". She told him the price of everything right after the friendly conversation. 

Gintoki brought out some loose change, handing it to her with a soft smile of his own. 

"Thank you very much. O-oh, wait, hang on one second please". 

Just as Gintoki was about to leave, the lady suddenly grabbed his sleeve gently. He was quite surprised that he didn't want to do. 

"U-uh...y-yes? What's the matter?" 

"Ah-sorry...". She let to of his sleeve, her cheeks glowing red with embarrassment. "I-I just wanted to ask you a favour. Y-you seem like an honest man, and I admire that greatly, so...". 

She paused. Geez, if anyone from Gintoki's supposed "aquaintance" circle heard thatl they'd laugh and tell her she was talking bullshit without really knowing Gintoki. Knowing that himself, it pissed him off just a tad. 

"I was just wondering...". 

The girl was pausing quite a bit, shifting her gaze from one thing to the next without looking at Gintoki. He grew a little nervous himself. "No way", he thought. "Is she...is she interested in me? Is she gonna ask me out or something?" He was prepared to decline, as relationships were out of the question in his line of work, but it didn't mean that he couldn't feel a little excited that a girl, around college age, was going to ask him out. It was endearing and had not happened in a long time. She was a good kid, really pure and innocent. Shifting a few strands of hair behind her ear, she reached under the counter. This just surprised Gintoki more. What was she doing? Was she getting something out? Taking something off--what?! She seemed to pull something out. It was...It was...melon bread... Wait, melon bread?! 

"I-I was just wondering if you could take this to the gentleman outside? I don't think he has anywhere to go since he's been sitting out there all day, and with nothing to eat. Please? I would do it myself, but I can't leave the counter for a second. Plus, I'm really embarrassed since I don't know him. I saw you speak to him a while ago, so...". 

Gintoki was still, excitement vanishing within a second as his expectations had been crushed by some guy who he apparently knew. 

"Where...is this guy?" He asked, his eye twitching as if he was ready to kick that guys ass. 

"Oh, he's right by that alleyway. You know, the poor man inside that cardboard box". 

She pointed out towards the shop window and to the alleyway across the street. Gintoki's eye twitched again, seeing who it was. Taizou Hasegawa, or...MADAO, to be exact. He really was inside a cardboard box, or his house...to be exact again. Holding down the raw emotion of having his expectations crushed, Gintoki forced a smile to the young lady and took the melon bread from her hands as well as his own bag. 

"S-sure. He...looks like he could use it...". 

"I'm glad you agree, but I am sorry about this". She bowed, still smiling. "You're a good person, so selfless". 

"Th-thank you very much. I should say the same about you, Miss". 

"O-oh, not Miss. I'm actually getting married to my boyfriend next spring, although we don't have a ring yet". 

Crushed...Crushed...All expectations and thoughts of this girl were crushed. No more...No more stchick... Gintoki was in shock, his face although affixed to a forced smile that was beginning to hurt his jaw. He had given up. He thought pretty women were a waste of time. Of course...Of course she would have someone---but to be engaged?! She pregnant or something?! The rage drifted in his mind calmly, keeping him from yelling out loud about how dumb he was for paying any attention to something that was too good to be true. He swayed his way out of the store, feeling emharrassed and stupid as the girl waved him off, inviting him to shop again. The automatic doors closed behimd him, his heart feeling damaged by too much in a matter of seconds. 

He staggered over to Hasegawa, who looked down at the ground in self pity. Gintoki couldn't he angry at him anymore, but still felt incredibly frustrated. By this point, his dick would want to pack up its balls and leave. Hasegawa raised his head at the oncoming Gintoki. 

"Ah, hey, Gin-san. Uh, what's wrong? You look out of it". 

Without warning, Gintoki held the small plastic bag of melon bread in front of Hasegawa's face. He took it, feeling a little puzzled by the sudden action. Gintoki plopped down next to him on the pavement in a crouched position. 

"Um, Gin-san, is this...for me?" 

"Yeah. I decided to buy you some out of good will. Appreciate it". He lied, the frustration causing him to blurt it out. 

"Wait, really? I haven't eaten all day, so...thank you, Gin-san. That's very kind, but strange...You were good enough to get me melon bread, but too much of a lazy bum to help me get my job back". 

"Quit complaining and eat your bread. I'm going back to the apartment to read JUMP and sleep". Gintoki stood up swiftly, stuffing his hands in his pockets--bag hanging on his wrist--as he walked away from Hasegawa. 

"You know you could help me fianancially and I'll pay you back when I get a stable job". 

"The saying goes: Catch a fish for a man and feed him for a day, teach a man how to fish and feed him for life. I can't help you". 

"You're the reason I can't catch any fish! Why I lost my job! Take responsibility and teach me to fish!-or something to that effect!" 

"Maybe another time. See ya, Madao". 

"You're a Madao too! Oi! Gin-san! ...You're a dick!" Was Hasegawa's last words before he feasted on his melon bread, a bad taste in his mouth keeping him from enjoying the dry taste. 

... 

Gintoki wandered up the apartment stairs, a hint of curiousity on his mind before it vanished without much care. There was a moving truck leaving the apartment block as he approuched. It didn't really concern him either way. He didn't keep track of his neighbours. It would be too much of a hassle. With his free hand, the other inside his pocket and keeping his convenience store bag from dropping to the ground, Gintoki took out his key as he headed for his door. As he approuched, he noticed a few boxes layed out on the floor. So it was the apartment across from him. He shrugged, sticking his key in the lock as he prepared to enter his place for the day. Then, the door behind him opened. Gintoki could hear the squeak of shoes as they came to an abrupt halt. Oh, god, no. He didn't want to make introductions. Best just to continue on into his apartment and pretend he didn't hear his new neighbour. That is until he heard their voice... 

"Ah-You...?! You're my neighbour?! Oi, bastard, turn around!" That voice...! 

Gintoki swiftly turned around, leaving his key in the lock. The anger built up in his system, his curiousity settled and replaced with frustration. It was none other than Hijikata, the psycho demon cop. 

"Oi, I should be saying the same thing, Hijikata-kun. Why the fuck are you my neighbour? Are you stalking me or something? Still pissed off about the other night?" 

"As if! If I knew you would be living next door, I would have reconsidered my options!" 

"Is that what your last girlfriend said to you before she left?" 

"Bastard! Wanna fight? I'm off duty so I can take pleasure in beating the shit outta you". Hijikata threatened, cracking his knuckles against his palm. 

"Oh, you want another round? Fine by me. Let's go, you stupid mayora". 

"Fucking sugar-freak. Bring it". 

The two men rolled up their sleeves, Gintoki placing his bags aside on the floor for now. Were they seriously going to fight in the hallway?! Were they idio-...You know what, nevermind... Bodly, Gintoki was the first to throw a punch, although it was dodged by Hijikata. Of course, he was a cop. He trained with this stuff constantly. That made it seem like the first time they fought was just luck on Gintoki's part. Although, Gintoki could certainly fight. There was doubt in that. Much to Gintoki's surprise, Hijikata didn't throw a punch, with his arms raised as blockage, but a swift kick to Gintoki's side that left him temprarily winded. He fought back, throwing a hard puch towards Hijikata and managing to snag a sharp punch to his cheek. However, Hijikata retaliated with a punch with just as much power. This went on, although there were more dodges than actually hits. Losing patience, Gintoki pushed on...literally. 

"Ahh! Stupid Mayora!" 

He suddenly tackled Hijikata, pushing him onto his back in order to throw more punches. Of course, Hijikata blocked them with his arms raised up as a shield. He had a feeling that Gintoki wouldn't give in easily, so he made a quick attempt to strike him where it really hurt. It was childish, foul play but...he swiftly raised his knee to thwack Gintoki inbetween his legs. 

"Aah! Fuck!" 

He cried, toppling on his side with his body curled up in a fetal position as the pain shot through. 

"A-aaaaooowwwwwww! You...fucker!" He sounded near to tears, his whole body shaking from the sudden impact. 

"Hah, looks like I win round two, bitch". Hijikata declared smuggly, wiping the blood from his bottom lip. 

"You...!" Gintoki looked at Hijikata with anger clear on his face, his eyes even watering from the pain. Instinct took over as he quickly sat up on his knees and threw his tightly clenched fist inbetween Hijikata's legs. It was, unfortunately a direct hit. 

"Gah! Fuck!-Fuck you!" He cried, collapsing in the same fetal position as Gintoki crawled back into his. 

In the end, there didn't seem to be a winner, just two losers. They both moaned in pain, twitching and shaking all over. Yep...Just two losers... 

Hijikata let out a heavy, quivering sigh, slowly sitting up. Gintoki did the same, although it still ached tremendously. 

"Why don't...Why don't you come inside and...put some ice on that?" Hijikata suggested, although feeling irritated by it since it was Gintoki, of all people. 

"I'd hate to say it, but...yes please...". 

"A-alright, get up. Truce...Let's call a truce". 

"Deal...Fuuck...". 

Hijikata helped Gintoki off the floor, dragging him to his feet. 

"Come on, I have ice". 

"Ice sounds good, Hijikata. Really good...". 

The two losers entered Hijikata's new apartment with sore nuts and a declared truce until they were able to walk properly again. That would have to be a new rule if they ever fought again: no nut cracking... 

Gintoki sat on the sofa, which hadn't arrived to the apartment until a few minutes ago with the moving truck. There wasn't a lot in the place at the moment, but he could imagine that Hijikata had plans to furnish it to his hearts content with tax-payers money. Hijikata brought over two plastic sandwich bags of ice, handing one to Gintoki before sitting down to tend to his own wound. Gintoki let out a heavy sigh when the ice cold bag was placed between his legs. He leaned his head back and relaxed as the pain vanished. 

"Alright...that's a new rule;". He began, catching Hijikata's attention. "No kicking or punching the nutsack. That's not cool at all". 

"I know, but I couldn't help it. You piss me off beyond belief". 

"Yet here we are. That's the thing about you, Hijikata; you're soft. If you kick someone in the balls, you'll only feel bad about it later. That's who you are". 

"Shut up. I don't know why I have to feel bad about kicking someone like you in the balls. I thought it would make me feel better. Damn it...". 

"Well, to be honest, I feel a little bad--just a little since you started it. Aiming for that place isn't cool at all". 

"As you've said...".

There was an awkward silence as both men simlly tried to get through the pain. They never really talked, just argued, so it was very awkward to be around the other in silence--nevermind talking normally. Gintoki, trying to keep his mind in a better place and away from the awkward silence, looked around the half empty apartment. There was already a shelf up against the wall and a box just below it. Most likely for books, duh. It would be kinda weird, but the silence would eventually become unbearable. 

"So-...". 

"Do you-...". 

They. Had both. Decided to speak... Now it was even more awkward! The two stared at eachother with a frustrated expression, biting thier tongues in case the other decided to speak. Then... 

"Are-...". 

"What-...". 

""Fuck...!"" They both cursed in unison, the frustration only building. 

"You know, can't we just not say anything?" Hijikata asked, feeling a little embarrassed by the whole thing. 

"No way. Even with you, silence is unbearable. Hah...I was just wondering...wh-what kind of booms do you read?" Yep, it was still very awkward. Hijikata scoffed. 

"What, do you think I read your books?" 

"Trust me: I don't expect you to, since you're one of a selective few who knows I'm the author of those books". 

"Am I to feel honored? It'd honestly just be a pain for me if anyone else found out. I don't see what the big deal is about your books...". Hijikata said firmly, placing a cigarrette between his lips. 

"How would you know if you didn't read them?". 

"...!" Hijikata didn't say a word, but composed himself quickly. This--even this--actually surprised Gintoki to see him hesitate like that. 

"Hijikata...". Gintoki called his name, although Hijikata didn't turn to face him by this. "Do you...?" 

"Ah! Bathroom!" Hijikata suddenly said, standing. "I-I'm going to the bathroom. I'll be right back, so don't go anywhere--or do leave! Whatever!" 

Placing his cigarrette down on the sofa's end table, Hijikata rushed to the bathroom without hesitating. Gintoki sighed, shaking his head. He would take that cigarrette if he liked the brand. Oh, well... With Hijikata gone, Gintoki felt like settling his suspicions although Hijikata's brief panic there wasn't very convincing. Guess even he gets embarrassed about little things. The respect of privacy should only apply to friends nd strangers. Hijikata was neither in Gintoki's book. He was...an aquaintance with little to no sentimental meaning in Gintoki's life, therefore snooping through his stuff wouldn't seem rude or disrespectful when that was their relationship anyway. Gintoki slid onto the floor, opening up the box by the bookshelf and peering inside. Surely enough, one of his first novels written was inside, along with many others. Of course, there appeared to be a few other titles within the cardboard box. But, upon closer inspection, and some digging around, Gintoki found pretty much all of his books inside and in good condition. He would feel some sort of nostalgia from simply reading the titles if writing them didn't nearly kill him. 

Just as he looked to the bottom of the box, books piled up at his feet, the voice of Hijikata came out from behind him as the bathroom door opened.

"Alright, Gintoki, I don't read your books. I just think that if the readers knew you as a person-Ah! Hey! What the hell are you doing?!" He yelled, unable to finish his made up excuse for apparently "not reading" Gintoki's novels. 

Hijikata rushed over, grabbing the book from Gintoki's hands in a fit of anger. Gintoki stood after a smile crossed his lips. He turned to Hijikata, arms crossed. 

"So, I didn't know the Demon Vice Chief liked fantasy-based novels. That's so sentimental and cute of you, oh my...". 

"Sh-shut up!" Hijikata's cheeks flared bright red, his composure destroyed by this moment. "Why the hell were you snooping through my stuff in the first place?! I'll definitely fucking kill you this time!" 

"Awh, come on~. Just admit you're a fan and I'll leave you alone". 

"I-I'm not a fan of anything! Do you wanna die?!"

He was spouting such things with his cheeks bright red. So he was a tsundere too? Interesting... 

"Look, Hijikata, there's nothing to be ashamed of. If you like my books, just say so. I'll give you a kiss from your favourite author, if that makes you feel better". 

"What kind of shit are you talking about?! J-just...get out! Get out of my apartment! The next time I see you out in that hallway, I won't hesitate to beat the shit out of you! Got it?!" 

"Uh-huh, I got it, Mr Scary Policeman. Just make sure to read my book before you go to bed". 

"You...! You piss me off! You piss me off so much! Get the hell out, now!" 

Gintoki was dragged out of the apartment, the door slammed behind him in Hijikata's anger. Gintoki couldn't help but chuckle to himself. That was quite an experience, seeing such proud guy like Hijikata lose his composure so quickly over something so small. Although, in all honesty, Gintoki felt kinda bad for getting him all flustered and teasing him in the first place. He went over to his apartment, taking the key back from his pocket to unlock the door once again. He had to do something, huh...Otherwise, his conscience wouldn't give him a rest. That was the first time, for however long it lasted, that they went without actually arguing. They had a sort of normal conversation for a while, despite Hijikata's embarrassment. It was new and different compared to all their other meetings. Gintoki felt conflicted as to whether avoid the guy after that incedent, or apologise properly without jokes. If he didn't apologise, he felt that their relationship would only worsen. He knew that it was possible for it to do so, for anyone. One moment, they are your closest ally despite your minor differences, and then something happens in just a few moments that turns that allay into your greatest enemy. That's what Gintoki had to face the following morning. Takasugi... Thinking about him motivated Gintoki to apologise to Hijikata once he calmed down. It seemed only right, since, as of that moment, all they ever did was fight like a married couple. Gintoki got shivers down his nape and back upon comparing their relationship to that. Still, he knew his conscience wouldn't leave him alone if he had another guy who was seriously after his head. That would have to wait, it seemed. First, he had to come up with a plan that didn't accidentally land him in an early grave due to Hijikata's demonic wrath. He grumbled... That guy really was just an aquaintance, nothing more than that...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not much Gintoki and Hijikata yet, but it's coming. Right now I just want to introduce all the characters before all the angst, hurt, comfort and feels hits you hard. And when I plan it out right and make up some good scenes it will hit you hard, cute yaoi and all. I want to be positive about that. I have plenty of interesting ideas, so I'll be positive for now and write the best I can until the day I break down and miss my own set deadlines. I'm already doing it with other stuff, so...yeah. Enjoy?...Okay, then. Until the next one. Bye.


	3. The Pen Is Apparently Mightier Than The Sword...

"See, that's were you're going wrong, Patsuan. You're mixing up a few words between their spelling and meaning".

Gintoki had sat with Shinpachi during the evening to help him with English, a subject Shinpachi wasn't too fond of. It was unusual to hear that Gintoki was decent at English, but apparently learned most of it from Otose. He had trouble with many more subjects, but he became a successful writer without the qualifications. He chose to teach Shinpachi what the old lady taught him over a few short years. Kagura was tending to her own homework on the apartment floor, a cushion under her chest and a mat of papers and notes spread out before her, pencil in hand. Eraser shavings littered the floor and her papers, which she gave up brushing away half an hour into her work. A Pocky stick was between her lips after begging Gintoki to give her one. She wished to savour it in case he wouldn't give her another one. The puppy dog eyes would get old eventually, after all. The only other problem was her dog, Sadaharu, not being able to understand the concept that dogs couldn't eat chocolate. It was beginning to hurt her neck as she swayed her head in the direction away from Sadaharu every time he figured out the process of walking to the opposite side. She couldn't argue, otherwise she'd drop the Pocky stick onto the floor while the chocolate was melting and Gintoki would get mad. Not because the chocolate would dirty her work, but because it was wasted. He was a confusing guardian at first, but it didn't take Kagura long to figure out that he just really liked sweets. 

"Oh, I see. Sorry, Gin-san. I'm still not very good at this". Shinpachi smiled, despite the slow feeling that dragged on in his head. He felt slow, compared to Gintoki... No offense. 

"Don't worry about it. Practice makes perfect". 

Gintoki stretched his arms up, glancing to the clock on his desk once more that day. He let out a sigh as his body relaxed back into his chair. 

"It's nearly seven". He said, rubbing his eye with the heel of his hand. "You should probably get going if you don't want that sister of yours to get mad at me, unless you wanna call her and go over it one more time?". 

"Oh, no. I won't keep you much longer. I know you have work tomorrow, and so do I. It'll be my first meeting. So, uh...". 

"Look, just pay attention and you should be fine. I'm sure you'll get to attend plenty of meetings coming up, so you'll get used to it. I did, so it should be easy for you". 

"Gin-san...you're right. I'll do my best". 

"Go get 'em". 

Shinpachi collected his stuff, storing it in his book bag before leaving the apartment swiftly. When the sound of the front door shutting emitted throughout the room, Gintoki turned to Kagura in his chair. She was still working quietly with the same sweet in her mouth, but only half eaten. He sighed, taking the rest of the box as he stood up. 

"Kagura, I'm gonna go for a little while. Watch the apartment and go to bed as soon as you can. You've got school tomorrow and I have an early start, so I can make breakfast for us, okay?" 

"Okay...". 

Kagura didn't pay much attention to what Gintoki said as she focused on her work, but she understood the routine by now whenever Gintoki went somewhere. She even stopped questioning it after a while. The only moment she raised her head was when the small box of Pocky sticks was dropped by her side. 

"Ah, thanks, Gin-chan!". She didn't waste any time eating the soggy, melted stick that she already had before diving in for the rest like she hadn't eaten for days. 

"No problem, kiddo". He responded, taking out a bottle of sake from one of the high kitchen cuboards. Kagura was curious by this. 

"Gin-chan, what are you doing with that booze? Are you going somewhere with it?" 

"Uh, yeah...". Kagura's eyes narrowed suspiciously at Gintoki. 

"What for? You meeting someone in the building? A lady, perhaps?" 

"Nope...". 

It was a convincing, straight-forward answer that didn't need much explaining to anyone else. Although Kagura was still suspicious, she averted her gaze back to her work. He had to be going somewhere in the building with a bottle of sake, an expensive one at that. On that note, she didn't understand why he kept expensive alcohol on the top shelf of the kitchen.. It was easy to assume he was taking it to pay a visit to a "lady friend", as Kagura briefly labeled it, somewhere in the building. Gintoki knew she was wrong, knowing there was no need to be nervous about her suspicious since he was only going next door. Thinking about it, he shortly regretted his decision. 

Gintoki exited the apartment and headed over to the apartment right in front of him, where the Mayora lived. He felt...icky about going to pay such a visit with a bottle of "let bygones be bygones" in his hand. He knew they would go back to fighting eventually, but the guilt of punching another guy in the dick was a whole other story. As a man, Gintoki could feel that Hijikata felt bad about it too. A painful, feverish feeling that stuck around between his legs. With a calming breath, Gintoki knocked on the door as politely as it could sound. Then the regret immediatly followed, although his feet couldn't catch up with his thoughts properly. As he was edged on to turn around and get the hell out of there, the door opened with a rattle of a light chain. The door was slightly ajar, a chain holding it in place. Hijikata peered through. Even then he looked kinda scary. He didn't yell, he didn't close the door immediatly after seeing Gintoki out in the hall. He simply asked him a question. 

"What are you doing here?" 

"Uh...Well, Hijikata...I, uh...There's something I have to tell you--and please listen. It's important". 

"Go on. I'm here, listening". 

"I just...Agh, could ya just open the door?" 

Hijikata rolled his eyes, shutting the door. Gintoki waited patiently for a few seconds, hearing the chain rattle in a muffled tone for a moment, right before the door was opened once more. With the same stern look, Hijikata leaned against the door frame and waited. 

"Haa...Hijikata, I'm...so-...I'm s-s...Uh...I'm so-...". 

"You're sorry". Hijikata aswered for him, feeling frustrated that Gintoki couldn't muster up a proper apology on his own. "For what?" Hijikata knew what, he just wanted Gintoki to say it. 

Gintoki cleared his throat, fidgeting a little here and there to try and bring the words out. He managed, though, somehow. 

"Hijikata, I...ap-apolo...gise...for being a dick and punching yours. I provoked you and gave you a sore dick--alright? We okay?" 

"And I guess...". Hijikata began, unable to look Gintoki in the eyes for this. "I'm sorry for picking a fight in the first place. I'm better than that. I'm also sorry for kicking you and giving you a sore dick". 

"Good...Good". 

They agreed on that, not wanting to bring up the other incedent when Gintoki found out that Hijikata liked his books and made fun of him for it. They wanted to get rid of that feelings as fast as possible. 

"So, wanna call a truce and drink booze with me?" 

"Yes, please". 

Hijikata took the bottle from Gintoki's hand, marking a temporary truce in order to get rid of the whole "sorry I hurt your feelings" situation that nearly happened. It wasn't like them to show such emotion, especially to eachother. So why not get wasted and forget all about it? Hijikata took out two small sake cups from his kitchen. He was prepared, it seemed. While the light sound of sake being poured emitted from that small area of the room, Gintoki looked around the rest of the room with his hands stuffed into his pockets. This was just as he removed his shoes before wandering around the apartment. It was already furnished, and only in a few hours. He noticed the main set up of the room first; couch, coffee table, bookshelf and so on. When his gaze did meet the bookshelf, he decided to take a quick look out of curiousity. Facing each and every title organised on that shelf, he could see clearly just from the size and the calm colours used for the books that Hijikata had every book Gintoki had written as of then. He only wrote five works to his name, but they were all on that shelf inside Hijikata's new apartment. It made him wonder still, even knowing the author himself, why Hijikata still purchased the books. Gintoki met Hijikata around the time of his third release, yet Hijikata read the next two and displayed them so neatly next to other titles. It was strange, though, as Gintoki's gaze met the dark green cover of a novel he had not yet seen himself. "Ocean's Eclipse" by Shinsuke Takasugi...A horror novel. It never occured to Gintoki that he had not once taken a look at Takasugi's work. He knew he specialised in psychological horror, but he refused to pick one up and read it, therefore he had no opinion on whatever Takasugi chose to work on. 

Gintoki's novels were more fantasy-based. They were made up of free dreams and possibilities that were an escape for him, aside from the cigarrettes. And the main hero or heroine always got their happy ending, or at least a cliffhanger. He hesitated, which became a pause. He could only stare at the title of his greatest enemy's book with his name carved neatly into the hard, green cover in kanji. He felt chills run down his spine and goosebumps form across his arms and the back of his neck. The curiousity was what got to him the most, wondering if Takasugi was the type of man who would try to guilt trip his enemies with hidden messages within his stories. Gintoki didn't want to think about it, he didn't want to think about Takasugi. He was no more than a ghost to Gintoki. A ghost...who continues to haunt him--even then. 

"Gintoki, here. Drink up". 

Gintoki froze for a moment upon hearing Hijikata's voice. In the moment, for a single second, it seemed unfamiliar to him. Fortunately, he snapped back and turned to face Hijikata. 

"Uh, thanks". He said, taking his drink. "I was just looking at your collection. Never took you for a fiction-lover". 

"I don't see how my interests are your business, but you are one of the authors. Come on, take a seat". 

Gintoki followed Hijikata to the sofa, forcing his previous thoughts out of his head in order to have a proper conversation with Hijikata. God, he never thought that would cross his mind. They sat down together, sipping the expensive booze to clear their throats as their minds calmly searched for something to talk about; at least while there was a truce between them. When the edge of the cups left their lips and the smooth liquid slid down their throats, there was only an awkward silence. Unfortunately. Hijikata disliked awkward silence the most. Silence was fine, but when it was just him with another person it was hard to bear, especially now since he was with Gintoki. He tried his best, though. 

"Uh...Um, th-this sake is pretty good". He stammered in his efforts, making it worse by looking the other way in discomfort. 

"Yeah, it is pretty good. I've had it for a while, in case of emergencies". 

"What sort of emergencies require you to drink expensive sake?" He finally looked to Gintoki, but only because of the puzzlement. 

"In the emergency that I wanna get wasted on Valentines Day 'cause girls don't know that I'm an author. And girls love my books". 

"That's, uh...pitiful. But I understand if you wouldn't want anyone to recognise you as a successful author. Although, you're not much to look at". 

"Hey! I'm decent! Don't just insult me after I called a truce, ya damn pretty boy!" 

"Alright, alright. I was kidding, anyway. Not like I care about your appearance. It's your character that pisses me off". 

"Yet you like my books, which should make a clear depiction of my character". 

Hijikata's eyebrow twitched when Gintoki said that, and with such a smug look on his face. There was no point hiding it now, though, no matter how frustrating it was to admit. 

"Alright, fine. I like your books. Is there anything wrong with that?" 

"Nope, I'm just surprised. You store them so neatly on the shelf over there and even that makes me curious. Hijikata: why do you like my books so much, despite hating my character?" 

Hijikata took another sip of sake before answering that question. He needed to find an answer to that--a good one that didn't make him seem weird, like a fanboy or something. However... 

"I, actually, err...I don't know". 

Stunned, Gintoki remained still at his confusion. 

"Eh? You...don't know?" 

"I thought it was just the story and the way you depict the characters, but now that I know you as a person I'm suddenly not sure why I keep reading them. I still...like the story and everything, I just don't know why I go back to them. It's weird to me". 

It would seem weird to anyone who heard such a reason. Where's the justification? It seemed pretty half-assed, like he did't think too much about it. Story and character depiction was good enough, but adding that knowing Gintoki as a person made him uncertain of that was just odd. Like he regretted picking up the books in the first place because Gintoki wrote them. It kinda pissed him off. Every little thing about Hijikata pissed Gintoki off--and vise versa. They just pissed eachother off. 

"Look, I just can't describe it properly. I guess it'll come to me later on".

"Doesn't matter". Gintoki immediatly responded, sticking his pinky finger into his ear. "I'm sure there are plenty of people who say they like my books, but don't know why. A lot of girls picture me as a man who has quite the sensitive side. That isn't really the case". 

"You're not sensitive? Hah, I can see that". 

"Yeah, well, if crying and getting upset solved everything we wouldn't need tax theives like you around. I just...don't cry about stuff". 

"I don't, uh...really cry either. Ahem, e-except from...My Neighbour Totoro". Hijikata shyly admitted, although immediatly regretting it. However... 

"Ah, yeah. Yeah...That's okay. I-I teared up a little when Mei ran off and they thought their mom wasn't coming out of hospital. That got to me--but it doesn't make me sensitive. Pfft, not sure about you, though". 

"Uh, no, I'm not sensitive. Not at all...". 

There was another silence, although this one was more uncomfortable. Just what had their conversation moved onto? 

"Uh...". Gintoki began, scratching the back of his head as he struggled to get out the right words. "I-I'm not the only one who teared up at the end of Howl's Moving Castle, right?" 

"Right? I mean, they were happy tears--so it doesn't count". 

"Uh-yeah. Happy tears don't count. It was just...a really great Ghibli movie". 

"Absolutely. It had a really happy ending, so you can't help but feel so good at the pit of your stomach that you tear up a little". 

"I know. Don't know why anyone would disagree with that". 

Why the hell were these guys suddenly bonding over Ghibli? Is this the way to get past awkwardness? Ghibli? Even though the conversation choice was quite random and a little awkward, the two looked at eachother properly as the words simply flowed. It was odd, although unrecognised through that entire conversation, that the two who fought constantly were more alike than they originally thought...in the sense of Ghibli. Maybe it was the small amount of alcohol that got them talking, but it was the most helpful. Things just...took off. 

"Satsuki is definitely a tomboy". Gintoki argued, not noticing they had both relaxed more in their seats, leaning back as they drank. 

"I don't think so. I mean, she's quite mature and independent, but that would make her one of the best figures as a mom". 

"I wouldn't know. Why, was your mom like that?" 

"Uh...". Hijikata hesitated, which Gintoki noticed immediatly. 

"Sorry. I don't actually know a lot about you, other than your weird mayo addiction". 

"N-no, it's fine. And it's not weird. Mayonnaise is almighty, not weird". 

"You're weird". 

"Says the guy who covers rice with sweet beans. Are you nuts?" 

"Sweets go with everything; tamogoyaki, sweet curry...I wouldn't expect someone with such a bitter taste to understand".

"Hahh? I think all that sugar has gone to your brain. There's a huge difference between making a perfectly natural sweet curry, with mayonnaise, and creating a mountain of sweet beans on rice". 

"Why the hell does everything have to have mayonnaise with you? I can't even have the same amount in sweets, because my doctor says my blood pressure's too high--and I can only eat one parfait a week!"

"Geez, I get it. Relax. Sorry you have such a hard time keeping a healthy blood sugar". 

"And I'm sorry for your weird addiction. Better get that sorted out, talk to a professional and get help". 

Hijikata shook his head, drinking up the last bit of sake from his cup. He placed it down on the coffee table. 

"That's enough for me. I have work tomorrow, and I can't afford to get a hangover". 

"Yeah, guess I'm done too. A shame that the bottle's only half done. Ah, well...". 

Gintoki got up, stretching up as far as he could manage to lossen his joints and muscles. Hijikata stood too, in order to see him out since he was getting ready to head back to his own apartment. 

"Oh, Hijikata, you can keep the bottle. It's good booze, consider it a peace offering until I demand it back tomorrow". 

"Uh, then you might as well take it. I'm not a big drinker, anyway". 

"Nah, I don't care. Besides, if you want...". The two stopped at the front door; Gintoki slipping on his shoes and looking at Hijikata with a smile. "...we could have drink again sometime". 

"You say that now, but as soon as you leave our truce is over". 

"Yeah, I know. Maybe we could bump into eachother in the hallway or on the street, we'd hurt eachother's crotch again, and get another drink". 

"We're not doing that every time, you know". 

Gintoki's smile grew into a cheeky smirk just then, which puzzled Hijikata until Gintoki spoke once more. 

"Ah, so you're saying we could have a drink more than once? Sounds good to me. See ya, Hijikata". 

Hijikata was still for a moment, no words exiting his lips as he watched Gintoki turn his back and leave. There was nothing he could say in response to that. It was strange of him to think that two guys like them, who fight and quarrel constantly, could sit down and drink together, civil and collected. Hijikata cursed under his breath, returning to the couches and picking up the two sake cups in one hand while the other picked up the bottle. He looked at the label, stared for a moment. What happened wasn't too bad. They talked, despite how awkward it was. Hell, they almost fought as well. For them, the other was too similar, but so different at the same time. He couldn't imagine being on a similar level with Gintoki. He couldn't get along with such a person. Even as he thought this, a sigh escaped his lips to replace the words he couldn't come up with on the spot. Would it be...so bad to drink again and talk more? Hijikata thought about it, staring blankly at this bottle of sake. He thought to himself; "Do I really know him as a person? Is that why I can't describe my own liking for his books?" Sure Gintoki irritated the hell out of him with his brazen, smug attitude and stupid natural perm and critisisms against mayonnaise, but still...Hijikata really didn't know Gintoki that well...and vise versa. Gintoki stood in front of his door, key in hand, thinking this with a blank stare on the doorknob. He finally blinked and shook his head for a second before continuing into his apartment. Damn it...Did he really wanna get to know the nicotine freak? With that attitude, he probably had to try. He had to try because...that conversation with him wasn't too bad. Awkward, but not bad. He shut the door behind him, leaving the hallway between him and Hijikata in silence. Nothing more. No ranting, arguments or fights for the rest of the night. Just a lot of thinking, and uncertainty within their minds. 

... 

First thing in the morning, dread filled Gintoki's stomach-aching and growling-as he headed for the publisher offices. He didn't want to head into that building, especially that day. But he had no choice in the matter, otherwise granny would be mad at him and probably hit him with a copy of the publisher's monthly magazine. The top of his head felt feverish at the thought. His stomach growled with pain, the craving for stawberry milk invading his tongue and building up saliva, which he quickly swallowed down. He had no choice. There was absolutely no way out of this. It wasn't until he entered the building that he thought he should have just called in sick and left his own meeting for another day. But schedules were tight, meaning he would only get lectured by one of the higher-ups, if not Otose. Upon entering, he spotted a familiar collegue tap the elevator button and wait patiently. Her hair tied ip as per usual, and her expression most likely blank. He was taking the elevator anyway, so... 

"Tama, is that you?" He asked, approuching her. The response was a swift turn on her part, a smile siddenly appearing with glimmering eyes. 

"Ah, Gintoki-sama, how wonderful it is to bump into you. Are you ready for the meeting?" 

Tama, an employee of the publishers office, currently working as Otose's assistant. Like a few other employees such as Shinpachi, Katsura and Catherine, people began to wonder if quite a lot of the workers were just picked up off the street. Tama was a normal girl who was quite unfortunate until Gintoki found her in a filthy alleyway by the apartments. She was quite beat up, for whatever reason. In the end, Otose ended up giving her a home, along with Catherine--Otose's other assistant and former thief with a face like the bottom of a foot. It was troublesome, but Tama worked hard at the offices everyday, wanting to feel useful. 

"To be honest with you, Tama,". Gintoki began in response, his expression already giving the most accurate answer. "I think I'm as ready as I'll ever be...". 

"Look, whatever happened between you and Mr Takasugi, please don't think about it. Just give it 110% today. I know you can". 

"I used to have that motivation, for a moment. Then I ended up smoking it away. Now look at me. I still need a smoke". 

"No you don't. Be strong. Listen, how about I get a strawberry milk for you? Would that make you feel better?" 

Gintoki's eyes would have watered in gratitude if he wasn't so tired. 

"Tama, you...You're an angel. You're so nice, please don't change". 

"Oh, well, alright. I promise, Gintoki-sama. I won't change". 

The elevator doors opened with a ding. The two stepped inside and pushed the button to head to the correct floor. Gintoki leaned against the wall as the doors closed, clutching his stomach. Tama stood perfectly straight, staring towards the doors and not moving an inch as the motion of the elevator set off. She was almost like a robot, still and expressionless. The only difference was that the girl had heart and a strong sense of morals. When the elevator came to a halt, the doors opened after a few short seconds. They squeaked as the doors rattled open. The two stepped out, spotting a small group in the middle of the hallway that led to the private meetimg room. Tama must have been there to learn, as an intern of the company. As they walked out, Gintoki noticed the group in a clearer state of mind...and then froze. Tama came to a stop with him, noticing how wide his eyes were as he stared at this group. But his expression softened into something more stern as the center of this group turned to face them, kiseru, or an old fashioned smoking pipe, between his fingers. Gintoki could feel the tensity rise in his chest as that eyepatch came into view with the turn of this man's head, a smirk appearing before came a swift turn of his body, facing Gintoki directly. The rest of the group followed his gaze, with different expressions that seemed quite plain compared to their so-called "boss". It was him. Shinsuke Takasugi... 

There was a brief moment where both parties stared at eachother, two against four. Although, it wasn't Tama's fight. 

"Gintoki-sama...". She muttered, tugging on his sleeve to catch his attention. "I'm sorry, but I must check the meeting room and assist in preparing. I'll leave a stawberry milk for you while I do so". She smiled, receiving one back from her superior. 

"Alright, go on ahead. Thanks, Tama". 

She gave a bow before making her way past the group, not batting an eye at them. It just pissed Gintoki off when the creep closest to Tama did, his pupils naturally wide--like one of the cockroach men from the manga Terraformers. A real creep. 

"Gintoki...". Takasugi's voice cut through the atmosphere like a sharpened knife. It certainly caught Gintoki's attention quickly enough. 

"Takasugi...Hah, have you gotten shorter? I told you: smoking stunts your growth". 

"Are you an idiot?!" The blonde girl by Takasugi suddenly yelled protectively, pointing the finger at Gintoki. "How dare you insult Shinsuke-sama's height! I'll fuckin' kill you! Shinsuke-sama, there's nothing wrong with your height". Her attitude suddenly changed upon turning towards her superior with bright eyes, her tail wagging. 

"Kijima, that's enough". Takasugi spoke softly but firmly, calming the beast that was this girl. 

Takasugi blew out a transparent cloud of smoke, ignoring Gintoki's previous statement. His smirk remained, as if taunting Gintoki. It wouldn't have surprised Gintoki if Takasugi also hated the idea of sharing a meeting room with him. But he was keeping his cool; they both were. 

"I don't think you've met my assosiates. While we wait, I'll introduce you. It would be rude if I didn't". 

Takasugi raised his hand to the tallest of them all, a guy wearing headphones, which would mean he probably couldn't hear anything that was going on. 

"This is my editor, Bansai Kawakami. He's quite relaible". He then pointed to the creep who had glanced at Tama earlier. "This is my publisher, Henpeita Takechi". 

"He's a lolicon, so don't bother with him". Said the blonde girl, crossing her arms with a look of disgust on her face. 

"I'm not a lolicon, I'm a feminist". Said Takechi. Gintoki felt the need to reply. 

"Either way, you're creepy. Takasugi, since when do you hire pedophiles?" 

"I'm not a pedophile, I'm a feminist!" 

Takasugi rolled his one good eye, looking rather unamused, before pointing to the girl next to him. 

"Finally, this is Matako Kijima, our intern". 

"Try to mess with Shinsuke-sama and you'll have to try and mess with me first, asshole.".

For such a small girl, she had quite the fight in her. It did seem off to see her put up an act of intimidation while she was so small. That's saying something since she's only two centimeters shorter than Takasugi--and he was definitely scarier. 

For a few years now, both Gintoki and Takasugi had been best selling authors--specialising in two separate genres and writing styles. They made an effort to avoid eachother at the offices by going at different dates and times. This was the first time they had seen eachother in such a long time, and for good reason: They hated eachother's guts. Many were aware of this, but didn't know the reason why. Only their two closet-and Takasugi's former-friends knew their history. Those friends being Kotarou Katsura and Tatsuma Sakamoto. No one else knew, no one else could understand their hatred. 

"Takasugi, you-...". 

Gintoki was about to speak, until the elevator doors behind him pinged and rattled open. Panting escaped through the cracks until the doors were completely open. All eyes focused on the doors. Inside the elevator was Shinpachi, out of breath and nearly out of time for the meeting. He carried a notepad under his arm, several loose scraps of paper hanging from inside, read to scatter everywhere. Shinpachi staggered into the hallway, cheeks red. He looked like he just ran a marathon. 

"Ah...Haah, wha-...Gin-san, you're here. S-sorry, am I late?" 

"Don't ask me that, idiot. If you were late, we'd already been in the meeting room. Besides, it's not like anyone would miss you". 

"Shut it! I work as hard as I can in this office!" 

"Shinpachi, you grab drinks and handle the copier...and pick up manuscripts sometimes". 

"Don't treat my position as if I'm practically useless! This is suppose to go on my CV, you ass!"

"I can just imagine it now: Megane character, getting coffee for an ass". 

"Gaaah! It stinks! Your attitude stinks of crap!" 

"So does my coffee whenever you bring it". 

"That's it! You really wanna die, don't you?! 'Cause I'll do it! I'll kill you!"

From the distance, while Shinpachi yelled madly at Gintoki as the man picked his nose-like he really wasn't listening to Shinpachi at all-Takasugi held back a chuckle at their stupidity. He tapped his smoking pipe against the rim of the ashtray next to him, ridding it the leftover ashes. As he predicted: Gintoki was still an idiot, caught up in his own little world with no common sense to face reality. It was all fantasy and games. What a joke... 

"Shinsuke-sama, we should probably head inside. The meeting will start soon". Matako informed her superior. 

She hated seeing him stare at Gintoki with such contempt, knowing there was a hidden hatred in there that she couldn't fully understand. She had no idea what happened in the past--not even his right-hand man, Bansai, knew. Behind that smirk, there was a burning hatred. She never saw him smile, but smirk...and it was always when thinking about Gintoki Sakata. Frankly, it pissed her off. 

"Kijima, pay attention this meeting. I'm sure that you'll learn a lot". 

Takasugi said that, a conspicuous thing that left Matako feeling like those words were only half full with more meaning to them. Then again, Takasugi was a conspicuous character. He turned, walking through the group towards the meeting room. Bansai, although partially deaf from his silly headphones, followed Takasugi immediatly. It was hard to get the impression that Bansai was like a dog on a leash, he was more like a cat who naturally followed Takasugi. They weren't friends...but got along to an extent that someone like Matako couldn't reach. If anything... 

"Ah! Shinsuke-sama, wait for me!" ...she was more like a dog, no offense. And, of course, Takechi silently went at his own pace. 

If it were high school, Takasugi would be the spitting image of a delinquent and his clique. The kind of delinquent that smokes behind the school and never gets caught, because he's the smart delinquent who has a habit of getting good grades even though he's aloof and thinks of school as a waste of time. At least, those were Gintoki's thoughts when he wasn't staring him down, imagining what the situation would be like if they were both staring down the barrel of a gun...or the sharp end of a sword. Whichever. Together, there was only a tense atmosphere that grew and moulded from silence and glaring. They hadn't talked properly for the longest time, which was for the best now. Their hatred and their pain was scarred into their hearts. Only time would tell when the balance holding their composure snapped and they would try to kill eachother. Thank god they never went to award ceremonies for their books. 

...

Soon, the reserved meeting room filled up with all participants; publishers, the authors, editors and so on. As everyone sat down, the two groups sitting opposite eachother, the atmosphere was a little more relaxed. Although... 

"Zura, it's been a while". Takasugi smirked directly at Katsura once he joined the meeting and sat next to Gintoki. 

"It's not Zura, Takasugi. I'm Katsura". 

It seemed that Takasugi and Katsura had nothing personal against eachother, but they were still labeled "enemies" since Katsura found his place by Gintoki's side in the working world, and as an equal--being childhood friends. Then there was... 

"Sorry I'm late everyone~! I slept in a little bit. Aha! Ahahaha!" Sakamoto...How the hell was this guy in charge of sales?! 

Eventually, everyone was seated. Well, everyone except the interns. 

"H-here, Shinsuke-sama. I brought your tea". Matako steadily set down some tea for her superior, although her heart was shaking, waiting for the praise to drown her nerves. 

"Thank you very much, Kijima. You may sit, and take as many notes as you can". 

"Ah~. Y-yes, Shinsuke-sama...". 

Matako sat down, giddy and a little shaken up by his, as she called it, "praise". Bansai was giving her a weird look, although it wasn't clear since he was always wearing shades. Matako's attitude changed in an instant. 

"The hell are you lookin'at? Bansai, don't look at me that way. S-stop...Don't judge me...Can you even hear what I'm saying? Remove your goddamn headphones!". 

Bansai lowered his headphones from his ears, the music humming from them. 

"What was that, Matako? I was just thinking; there's some toothpaste at the corner of your lips" 

Matako's face suddenly flared bright red. How? Oh god, Takasugi would have noticed that--even with only one good eye! She was so embarrassed that her all-time crush would have seen something so shameful! Panicking to herself, she wiped up whatever was there with the back of her hand. Then Bansai handed her a napkin from the table. She swiped it away, somehow angry at him for pointing it out so rudely. 

Meanwhile, on the other end of the table, Tama had set down a carton of strawberry milk for Gintoki. 

"Ah, thanks, Tama". 

"You're very welcome, Gintoki-sama. I'm sure Otose-san will take the lead again". Tama leaned down to Gintoki's ear to whisper that, knowing that the old lady was right next to him. 

"Ain't that the truth". He replied, popping the opening of his carton with the sharp end of the straw. 

Gintoki then leaned back, placed the straw between his lips and awaited the madness. This was a joint meeting, which rarely-or never-happens. The only person who could decide who went first was the CEO in the room, and that was, unfortunately, Sakamoto. Everyone's eyes went towards Sakamoto, the man in charge. He was a fickle man who was too aloof for his own good. Why would his father put him in charge? Why? The purpose of this meeting was to go over some projects and also decided the number of books to be sold in store for the next month or so. It was a hard decision with everyone at eachother's throats on how many to actually produce. That's why the publisher's and the two best authors of the company would join the meeting. Their opinion was absolute in some cases. Of course, Gintoki didn't really give a damn and Takasugi didn't think of himself as being that arrogant to decide on his own sales. 

"Okay, so...Who's goin' first?" Sakamoto asked, receiving an immediate answer from the whole room. 

"That's why we're looking at you, moron!" The majority yelled, feeling frustrated. 

"Well...". Sakamoto began, still presented a toothed grin. "This has never actually happened before. Haha, I'm a little caught off guard. Ehh, Kintoki, Shinsuke, how about we decide with rock, paper scissors?" 

"It's Gintoki, dumbass". Gintoki rolled his eyes, sipping his stawberry milk. 

"I don't see why we have to decide in such a childish fashion". Takasugi added to the conversation. He was usually the quiet type, but around Gintoki he wished to show his strength in intimidation. "Can't we just begin? I'd rather leave this room as fast as possible". 

"Ohh, I see how you wanna play". Gintoki brought his feet up to the table. "If that's the case, Mr Suit-and-smoking pipe, then I want to go first. If it means I can leave as soon as possible, then I'll gladly go first". 

"If you wish. Age before beauty". 

"The hell you sayin', bastard?!" Gintoki got up from his chair in anger, squeezing his milk carton so hard that the little droplets that were left burst out. "Says the guy who looks like he just killed someone! Wanna fight, psycho?!" 

Takasugi also got up from his chair, clashing foreheads with Gintoki in equal anger. 

"Gladly. We can even the score, can't we?" 

"Gintoki, Takasugi, stop it!" Katsura, of course, was the one to get inbetween their quarreling. He wasn't the only one. 

"Shinsuke, that's enough". Bansai stood up, calmly backing Takasugi away from the fight. 

No one had the ability to actually pull a stubborn Takasugi away from a fight, if it meant keeping his pride stable. However, Takasugi relaxed at Bansai's words--which even surprised Gintoki. He backed off and sat back down with his editor. Gintoki did the exact same, although growing a little curious about that editor, Bansai. He wondered what his relationship with Takasugi was for him to be able to tame the beast with such ease. 

"Ehh, so how about this; we go over projects first and then get to sales pitches lastly?" Sakamoto suggested, feeling certain that wouldn't cause a fight again. "That fair? Phew, good. I thought for a sedond that you guys would really kill eachother". 

"We were". Gintoki and Takasugi spoke in unison, turning their gazes away from eachother. 

"O-kay, then. Let's start before you do, then! Naha! Ahaha...". The hell was so funny? 

... 

The meeting dragged on longer than it needed to, but they finished in time for lunch, at least. Everyone scattered back to the office while the two authors and interns decided to go home. Katsura had some things to finish before he could go home, so it was a swift goodbye from Gintoki as he headed to the ground floor from the elevator. He was left alone with his thoughts for a mere moment. Confronting Takasugi after so long...He realised that he wasn't so anxious after all. He was just...angry. But there so many mixed emotions among that, which stirred endlessly in his mind. He couldn't count them all at once, the past only bringing itself to the surface once he thought about it. That's why it was best to keep those things stored in the unconscious part of his mind, where these things could only haunt him while he slept, so that no one else could see them. The elevator pinged and the doors opened on the ground floor. Brightness shot through the entrance doors, and a shadown stretched out on the floor, by the front doors. Gintoki squinted his eyes to see who it was, out of curiousity. This didn't last upon a single glance. It was Takasugi's editor, Bansai Kawakami. He stood still, leaning against the wall, as if waiting. He was by himself, which seemed odd to Gintoki. He would imagine that Bansai would already be with Takasugi. There were some things that got Gintoki curious, although he knew it may not have been worth getting involved. He merely wished to walk past him in silence and continue on with his life without ever answering the questions in his head. Some things were best left alone; he thought as he began walking down the corridor and towards the front entrance. It was his initial goal, until he was stopped and delayed in reaching it. 

"You're Gintoki Sakata, right?" Bansai suddenly spoke while the two were at a short distance from eachother, in a diagonal direction. Gintoki ended up stopping on his own. 

"Yeah. You're Takasugi's editor. Glad introductions are outta the way, but I gotta go". Gintoki was about to continue walking, until... 

"You're work is very interesting to me. I'm curious about your style and technique. Care to enlighten me?" 

Gintoki barely moved an inch at those words. He scoffed softly. 

"Hah, what, has Takasugi gotten his right-hand man to interogate me?" 

"No, nothing of the sort. I read your books on my own free will. As an editor, I'm privelaged to study other authors writing techniques and styles in case I'm given a particular job. I'm sure your editor does the same". 

"You're quite the loose hinge compared to his creepy publisher and yandere intern. Does he approve of this; you reading my books?" 

"Shinsuke doesn't confine me in my work. It's merely for study purposes. Besides, I'm not one to follow orders. I made my own decision to be his editor and I made my own decision to study your books. But there is one particular aspect of you that I'm unable to comprehend". 

"And that is?" 

"...Why did you become a writer?" 

This guy certainly looked like a punk, but he was actually quite smart. Gintoki knew more than anyone that you shouldn't judge a book by it's cover. This man asked entriguing questions. Questions that were more rhetorical in Gintoki's eyes. In other words... 

"I can't really answer that in words". 

"...?" Even Bansai was caught off guard by this. "Interesting. Are you sure it wasn't for money? Recognition?" 

"No, that's at least clear to me. I'm not into materialistic stuff like that when it involves writing books. It's just something I do, like a freedom". 

It was difficult to explain his feelings about writing, but he did know that the freedom gave him the opportunity to spill his feelings onto every page and express them without anyone fully understanding his personal ones from the story or characters. There was only one vibe that everyone, together, got from his novels. 

"You're writing style...It seems rather...lonely, don't you agree? I sense your way of writing is soft and quiet, like a melody. It plays on and relaxes people, brings them into the story with such passion that it may even bring tears to their eyes. They shed tears because they can sense the lonliness, but fail to place it into words". 

"That's quite the analogy. Maybe you could become a writer someday". 

"Of course not". Bansai replied swiftly, his expression as straight as ever. "I was put on this rotten earth for two things only: to be a musician, and to be Shinsuke's right-hand man, as you say. It was surprisingly pleasant to talk to you, Sakata-san. I look forward to the next meeting. Now, if you'll excuse me". 

Bansai pushed himself from the wall, standing straight and walking to the entrance doors. 

"You know it's rude to keep your headphones on while someone's talking, right?" Gintoki said, stopping Bansai for a moment. "If you keep that up you'll never be able to understand what people are saying. Therefore, you won't be able to understand the person. See ya, Kawakami-san". 

Gintoki walked past Bansai and out the door, making his way in his own direction with a nonchalant look on his face. Bansai was still for a moment, his expression still not wavering. 

"What an interesting song you have,". He muttered to himself. "Sakata-san". 

... 

Takasugi let out a sigh upon entering his apartment after, what felt like, hours of receiving projects and debating how many books will be brought to stores. Bansai was right at his back, shutting the door behind them. Takasugi removed his black suit blazor, leaving only the blood red shirt underneath. His eye, under its bandage, felt irritated at his exhaustion. When was the last time he slept for more than three measly hours?

"Shinsuke...". Bansai spoke, staying behind his collegue. "As you requested, I did some investigating on Sakata". It wasn't an order, but a mere request from Takasugi. 

"...And?" Takasugi asked briefly, heading to the sofa to be seated. Despite the discomfort in his back, he kept a straight posture. Bansai approuched further, sitting on the armchair opposite to the sofa. 

"Apparently, it wasn't as you expected. He isn't living alone. What's even more questionable is that it's a fourteen-year-old girl". 

Takasugi was quite surprised by this, but maintained his composure in front of Bansai. 

"Hah, I see. So he's indulging in a game of house. How endearing". His sarcasm was heard loud and clear, although it would be quite subtle to anyone else. 

"What's more, he's apparently tutoring that intern, Shimura. He seemed like more of an isolated person at first glance". 

"Well, he is rather unpredictable. I never thought he'd gain little friends while we were apart". 

"Shinsuke...". Bansai spoke softly--seriously. The atmposphere turned cold in a matter of seconds. "You...You don't fully understand Sakata-san either, do you?" 

"Meaning...?" Takasugi had become quite serious himself. 

"Listen, I've known you for quite a few years now and I sense the repeating chorus of your song. When you're not around Sakata, like now, your soul plays the soft tune of a shamisen. When around Sakata, the tune changes rather quickly into something faster and more energetic". 

"So, what are you saying, Bansai? Do you think I'm easy to falter around that natural perm-head?" 

"...His song...I couldn't quite describe it". Bansai simply said in thought, thinking back to his previous conversation with Gintoki. 

"Your books play their songs as well. Shinsuke's being a soft tune from a shamisen before growing tense like the screeching of a violin. Then...there's Sakata's. I sense the same vibes from his novels in different melodies, while the person's song is almost like drunk humming. It's rather odd. I think that he builds a wall around himself, a small but strong one that he doesn't only keep for himself. He keeps others on the other side, but for the purpose of protecting them. At least, that's what I'm getting from my investigatio. I wasn't able to learn a lot from his character or his past". 

It was an unusal theory, but it made sense. Takasugi said nothing, his understanding of Gintoki as vague as ever. Even he couldn't fully comprehend Gintoki's way of doing things. He never could... 

"Shinsuke, why did you become a writer?" Bansai asked the same question that he asked Gintoki moments ago. 

"Hm? Oh, well...To be honest, I became a writer as an escape. I'm sure many authors feel the same. Why, did Gintoki tell you the exact same thing?"

"Sorta. He called it a freedom". 

"Hah, how very like him. Still stuck in his world of fantasy and make-believe. A freedom...I wonder what from. A man like him doesn't look back on worries or problems, like he has no responsibility. I'll be perfectly honest with you, Bansai, as the person who is closest to me...I don't think I'll ever truely understand Gintoki's ideals" 

"I see. Does he understand yours?" 

"Pardon...?" 

Bansai paused for a moment before standing up. He walked to Takasugi's side and placed his hand on his shoulder to lean down and mumble, even though they were the only two who occupied the apartment. 

"I think you're more of an open book than you realise, Shinsuke. Your tense, just like the words you place into your books". 

Bansai stood up straight once more walking past Takasugi and up the short flight of stairs towards his room. There was a moment when Takasugi thought about those very words. Tense? What could he possibly mean? Takasugi ignored it, shifting back to lean against the chair's back properly. He placed the tips of his fingers over his bandage, the memories flashing from the back of his eyelid. He couldn't fully understand Gintoki; his past, what he did, what he's doing now. What was the purpose of it all? Behind his eyelid was the scroched pain of hatred. That's all he could think. That's all he could feel anymore. And he had to live with that. Tsk, tense...Yeah, right. Just what the hell was Bansai talking about? 

... 

... 

In a diner down below a series of apartment complexes and buildings built by the Government that were uneccessarily tall, sat in one of the booths Zenou Hattori. He drew carefully on his notepad, to create new ideas for his upcoming deadline for JUMP. He made good use of his time since he didn't have to go out and buy the manga anymore. There were only two things that made his work difficult: 1) his editor hating his new idea and forcing him to start over and (2) having to draw really pretty girls all. the. time. Where were the freckles? The braces? The laugh lines?! Real girls don't have such smooth skin! They cover it with make-up! That isn't natural! Thinking this, about halfway into his drawings, he was close to having another mental breakdown. But, at the end of the day, he loved his job--despite wanting to drop Shoujo manga projects to move back into the Shounen department. Ninjas were better than some wishy-washy main character of another fucking harem. He sincerely regretted picking up that project, like the editor-in-chief advised. Just as he sulked, pencil in hand, the entrance to the diner opened with the soft ding above the door and the greetings of the empoyees. Zenzou raised his head as a natural reaction to his instincts. He wasn't surprised to see who had staggered into the diner with an aura of exhaustion and bordom. 

"Yo, Sarutobi. Another great story?" 

"Not now, Zenzou. I feel like I'm gonna...fucking kill someone. Ahh~I miss Gin-saaaaan~". 

Ayame Sarutobi: journalist and masochist with an overwhelming obsession with Gintoki Sakata. She had known Zenzou since they were children and maintained a good relationship with him, even as roommates since college graduation. It wasn't odd for Zenzou to see her acting normally, defined as being tame and professional in her line of work. The only time she brought out here super-masochistic side was whenever Gintoki was in the area. Of course, he ignored her constantly in disgust. If only he could see her act like a normal human being. It would be a treat for the eyes. 

"Don't start that. You'll put people off their food". 

"You sayin' I'm disgusting?! Says the guy who dates fuglies! You've got some nerve, Zenzou". 

"I sure do. So, what was it this time?" 

"The boss is making me write a column about the Tokyo police, only because the majority of them are giant fuck-ups, excpet their demonic vice-chief. Once again, I'm at the butt of every story". 

As a stalker, Sarutobi had an excellent performance at her job. Unfortunately, she was forced to undergo investigations that no one would give a damn about. Guess this time the media wanted to show up Tokyo's police force. Probably because their Chief was also a stalker and had been reported on several occassions as a citizen. If found out, the good name of the police force known as the Shinsengumi of Tokyo would be battered and destroyed by the media. Not like Sarutobi would show them up in the first place. Stalkers stick together, after all. At the corner of Sarutobi's eye she could see one of the waitress' who noticed her sitting at the table with Zenzou. This girl was...well, to put it into opinion and not fact, this girl wasn't very pretty. At least, she wasn't the type normal guys would go for. There was a reason Zenzou picked that particular diner. She was cute, but not attractive...Geez, it sounded so bad and judgemental. Still, it gave Sarutobi the chance to rip Zenzou a new one with her excellent teasing skills. 

"Hey, Zenzou, your girlfriend's coming over". 

"She's not my girlfriend". He answered swiftly, getting used to the same repetitive teasing from his roommate. She crossed her arms, smirked and waited for it to set off. 

"Hello, and welcome". The waitress greeted, soon looking over at Zenzou with a smile. "Hey, Hattori-kun. Who's this?" 

"Ah, nobody. She's just...someone I kinda know. D-don't pay attention to her--or him. I dunno". 

"Oi, don't act like I just randomly sat down here. And who the hell are you calling a "him"?! I'll pop your hemroids!" 

"Uhh, sorry, Ma'am. Can I get you anything?" 

"Just tea, thanks. Unless there's natto". 

"There isn't, but I'll get your tea. Bye, Hattori...". The girl touched Zenzou's shoulder for a moment before leaving the scene to head behind the counter. 

Sarutobi so badly wanted to touch Gintoki's shoulder like that, and his abs and...and...his di-. 

"Sarutobi, what the hell are you blushin' for? You thinking of somehing perverted?" 

"Eek! I just want Gin-san to run his hands all over me and claw at me and just...Hoooo! I can't say anymore~! It's too muuuch!" 

"If you're gonna start that in public, I'm fuckin' leaving. Ah, cut it out! You're gonna wet the booth! Ah, shit. Could I get the bill already? Someone? Anyone?" 

... 

Gintoki returned to his apartment, tired but relieved that it was over. He had several projects to start up soon, starting that evening or the following day. At that moment, once his shoes had been kicked off and his mindset back in a lazy place, he flopped on his sofa and picked up the most recent volume of JUMP, which he had no time to finish the night before. Without the distractions, he could read in peace while casually picking the irritation out of his nose. There a couple of brief minutes of that, until the front door opened.

"Hey, Gin-chan. We're back, aru~". Kagura...of course. 

Kagura kneeled down to unhook Sadaharu's leash, allowing him to run right up to the sofa and climb on top of Gintoki. 

"Gh! Y-you damn mutt! A-owowowow! S-stop pressing on my stomach! I have cramps, bastard!" 

"Gin-chan, don't get mad at Sadaharu". Kagura also flopped on the sofa, on top of Gintoki's legs and completely ignoring the fact that he was lying down. 

"Gah! Goddamn it! There's another couch right there, Kagura! Did you just move back in to piss me off?!" 

"Speaking of which,". She began, ignoring Gintoki's ranting. "Did you know the stupid Mayora moved in next door?" 

"Ugh...y-yeah, I know. Pain in the ass, right?" 

"I guess. Good thing that stupid sadist isn't with him". 

"Yep, otherwise the whole building would have burned down. Now, can you get off of me? Gin-san is tired". 

"Fuu...Fine. Come on, Sadaharu". Both Kagura and Sadaharu hopped off of Gintoki to sit together on the other sofa. 

Kagura crossed her legs once she sat down, taking Sadaharu into the basket of her legs to pet him. At least he stopped biting her hands, although he still bites Gintoki. 

"Sooo, how was the meeting?" 

"Dull. Nothing more to it than that". 

"I'm glad I'm not an adult yet". 

"Yep. Cherish your childhood while it's still right here".

Gintoki flipped through the pages of JUMP until he reached the page he stopped at previously, depicting a fight scene between generic good guy and generic bad guy. He hated to admit it, but he sure missed Zenzou's work. 

"Gin-chan, what are we doing for dinner?" 

"You already had lunch?" 

Kagura simply nodded. 

"How about, when I'm not so tired, we go out somewhere? I owe it to you anyway". 

"Well, if you insist...". 

"I'm not insisting. I just have a really bad craving for chinese food right now". 

"Uh-huh...Can we bring something back for Sadaharu?" 

"If you want, just make sure it won't kill him". 

"Roger that. Well, unless you wanna go hang out with the Mayora instead?" 

Gintoki dropped the JUMP manga upon hearing that, his fingers stiffing up and unable to hold the pages. It landed on his chest, which would have stopped him from having a heart-attack. How did she...? 

"Eh, I...I don't know what you're talking about, Kagura. Ehe, wh-what makes you think I'd hang out with that A-shaped, nicotine freak?" 

"I saw you head into his apartment when you thought I was doing homework. You had that alcohol and everything. What, you turned gay for him or something?" 

"No way! Kagura, don't say something so disturbing. Who would do that...with that guy?" 

"You, probably. I'm disappointed, Gin-chan". 

"No! It's not like that! What, two guys can't have a drink together?" 

"But you hate eachother. Sounds pretty homosexual to me". 

"Who's teaching you these words?! Look, it doesn't even matter 'cause I'm not into that sort of thing. I like women, I don't like Hijikata. End of story". 

"Gin-chan and May-ora, sittin'-in a-tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g and m-a-k-i-n-g b-a-b-i-e-s". 

"That isn't even possible! What the hell?!-Who's teaching you this shit?! Are they already teaching sex ed' at your age?!" 

"Gin-chan, I'm only playing around. Buuuut, it does kinda sound like you like Hijikata-san, riiiiight?" 

"No, I don't. Let's just leave it at that". 

Gintoki picked up JUMP again, reading the contents once more as if nothing happened. But... 

"I could ask him if you want?" 

"Kagura, I swear to god! Will you just drop it? I'm not into that sorta thing and we're not a good match anyway and you are turning into a fujoshi before my very eyes--so stop it!" 

"I don't see why you're gettin' all embarrassed. Are you a high school kid?" 

"Says you! And I'm not embarrassed! You're the one saying weird shit about me and the stupid Mayora!" 

"Ugh, fine. I'll drop it. But if you end up k-i-s-s-i-n-g, then you owe me a trip to dinner, at a western restraunt". 

"That's funny, 'cause neither of those things are happening". 

What the hell was that girl thinking? Of course Gintoki never thought of weird shit like that--he liked women! And breasts! Hijikata was the last guy Gintoki would ever think of being all...whatever and-Nope, he didn't want to think about it. That guy pissed him off beyond belief with his silky hair and almighty privelages as a Government official. He hated to admit it, though, but those two were alike in the worst ways and it only pissed Gintoki off more. But...even so... 

("Ah, so you're saying we can have a drink more than once? Sounds good to me. See ya, Hijikata") 

Gintoki did say those words, as if being friendly with Hijikata. It was just in the moment, though. He drank alcohol, his thoughts weren't in the right place, on and on with those excuses when, really, he quite liked drinking with Hijikata. The two of them could never possibly be called friends, but...Gintoki had the hint that they both had a little more in common; stuff that maybe wasn't all bad. Agh! He didn't want to think those stupid thoughts! It would just numb his brain and give him a headache. That's what he thought, but...there was only ease and a new feeling stirring up. Maybe it would be okay to get along with Hijikata...just a little? He lowered the book to his chest, rubbing his eyes. He really was thinking stupid things. The next time he saw Hijikata, he would have to remind himself about how much he hated that supposed bastard. It pissed him off...It pissed him off...really, really pissed him off...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bansai and Takasugi...If no one stops me, I'll make it happen--I'm serious. It'll end up being a side dish to the Ginhji/Hijigin goodness. Haaaah...Aaaaaaaaaah....Fuuuuuuuuuuuudge. I'm such trash!
> 
> This is how it'll work in my head:  
> (Waiter: The Hijigin is an excellent choice. Would you like a side dish?  
> My Thoughts: Don't get the Bansugi, don't get the Bansugi, don't get the fucking Bansugi!  
> Me: Yeah, I'll have the Bansugi  
> My Thoughts: Damn it!)
> 
> Does anyone want the little hot side dish of Bansugi (that's what we're calling it) with the steaming hot and delicious Ginhiji?


	4. Uncomfortable Situations Are Hard To Escape From. We All Know This.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back! I'm back! Okay! Next chapter! Uh, thank you very much for all the support so far. It's really motivating for me to continue this (even though I won't be easily stopped in the first place, unless this sucked). I'm glad people like it because I really like writing it. So, here's the next chapter. Hold onto your butts, or chairs I guess, because it's gonna...Yep, stuff is going to go down. Enjoy!

Wandering into the streets of Tokyo at night provesto be livelier than in the day. High school kids going to karaoke bars or wherever kids hang out these days, adults heading to real bars with a lover holding their hand or under their arm. After noticing the millionth couple pass him by on the way to his regular bar, he averted his gaze with a sigh that obviously indicated one thing: he was fed up. Not like he wanted a lover, he just got really pissed off when seeing all these people that act younger than they are. The most he had ever had was sex, and it could barely be called a relationship. Just a few one night stands with some women he met at a bar or a hotel. Gintoki didn't feel like the type of guy who go on dates and be intimate with someone when it didn't involve intercourse. He just knew that...he wasn't good at love affairs.

Gintoki was closing in on the bar, ready to drink after finishing his first project. It took longer than it needed to. It was a Saturday the next day, but it wasn't like he'd risk a hangover when he still had work to do. Sunday...Sunday was his time off. Just two more days; he thought as he turned the corner towards the bar's entrance. As he turned, raising his head and his gaze from the surface of the pavement, he stopped dead. Well, as did Hijikata as he came in the opposite direction. The two men came to a halt upon seeing eachother. That's right: their truce was over. With blank stares, they both shared the same energy level--none, in fact. They both tuckered themselves out with work, so neither exactly had the energy to make a scene that evening. It felt so wrong, though...and awkward. 

"Uh...H-hey...". Hijikata greeted, uncomfortable with the situation he was put in. 

"Hey, Hi-Hijikata-kun. I didn't, uh, know that you go to this bar". 

"Same to you...". 

In such an uncomfortable situation, with so little atmosphere going on between them, even with barely any energy, the normal greetings didn't feel right. Not at all. 

"Do you mind leaving? I'd rather drink without having to look at your face". 

"Hahh...?!" Gintoki's retort got the ball rolling, at least. "Bastard! Why the hell do I have to leave?! You leave!" 

"No way. I worked hard today, writing columns and such. I deserve a drink without having you near me!" 

"I feel the same, y'know! Given my job, I deserve more peace than you do! Damn sugar-freak!"

"Fuck you! I work just as hard!" 

"I'm sure you do!" 

"Yeah, well...Uh...Fuck, I can't do anymore...". 

"Me neither...". 

"I hate old age, Hijikata". 

"Oi, I'm the same age as you, asshole. It isn't old age, anyway. It's work". 

"Right...work". 

They averted their gaze from eachother within the awkward tension that arose out of nowhere. Their truce was over, but they were acting so docile now--it was gross. Why the hell was their truce bouncing back? Why were they being so civil?-ish... 

"Let's just get a drink". Hijikata suggested, making his way into the bar with Gintoki following close behind. 

"Right...". 

They wandered inside, the atmosphere a little less awkward, at first. Both Hijikata and Gintoki didn't exactly want to go in together like they were buddies. So when they both ealked to sit at the bar's counter, it became rather frustrating. And they ended up sitting next to eachother, proving to be even more frustrating. 

"Oi, Hijikata, could you not sit next to me as if we're all friendly? It's weird". 

"You're the one who sat next to me. If you don't like it, move". 

"I don't have to move just 'cause you told me to. You move". 

"What can I get for you gentlemen?" Asked the sharply dressed man behind the counter. 

"We're not together! Don't ask us equally!" They both spoke in unison, surprising the man quite a but. However, he continued with his job and tolerated it. 

"O-okay, uh...Could-could you tell me what I can get you? One of you?" 

"Honjozo-shu Sake...". Once again, they spoke in unison. 

"Oh, so you want the same sake as me as well? Are you stalking me?" Gintoki asked Hijikata with the frustration clear on his face. 

"Of course not! I can enjoy whichever sake I wish, moron". 

"Heh, I just never took you for someone who likes the sweet kind. I thought you'd go for something that matches your personality: bitter and dislikable--like mayonnaise". 

"You shithead! What did you say about mayonnaise?! Who's dislikable?! Seems to me like you enjoy spending time with me, Gintoki". 

"Like hell! Spending time with you is like having to take a shit really badly! You wanna get rid of it--but you can't because it keeps coming back!" 

"You're disgusting! You know-!". 

"Uh, gentlemen...". The man behind the counter was startled. He certainly didn't expect such a scene to be made that evening. "I-if you continue to disturb the other customers, I'll have no choice but to throw you out". 

Neither Gintoki or Hijikata wanted to be thrown out without at least one drink to numb their problems about their careers. So, they settled back in their seats and waited for their drinks to be made without making a single glance of eye contact with eachother. It was the best solution to focus on anything but eachother. With stubborness grounding them to their seats, and frustration keeping them from looking at eachother, the two took their drinks and poured each individual shot into the small sake cup provided. With no words or conversation to pass them by this time around, they sipped at their drinks. The silence, however, couldn't possibly last. Just like the night of their truce, silence meant uncomfortability. Someone--anyone needed to speak in order to get out of it. They were already in eachother's company, so neither of them were drinking alone anymore. It sucked...It was the worst...They each cleared their throats awkwardly, soon, eventually, turning their eyes to eachother slowly. They each cringed slightly, but put up with it in that single second in order to break away from being so incredibly uncomfortable. But what could they say to eachother? What could they possibly talk about that didn't involve fighting? 

"Er, Hijikata?" 

"...Yeah?" 

"Uh-Well...H-have you...figured it out yet? Why you like my books?" Gintoki kept his tone quite hushed in case anyone heard but Hijikata. It was an out-of-the-blue question, but it took out the overhanging awkwardness in the atmosphere. 

"Uh, no. Not yet. I mean, I did think about it but I haven't really thought of anything".

"Right...". 

"You know...Ugh, I hate to say it in front of you; but, isn't the new one gonna be on shelves soon?" 

"Yep. It's not all that special, though". 

"Somehow, I doubt it". 

"Eh...?" 

"Uh! N-nevermind...". Hijikata averted his gaze, leaving Gintoki with a smirk across his lips. 

"Ohh? So you think my books are special?" 

Hijikata grew rather embarrassed at that, although his cheeks did not fluster, nor did he react hysterically to Gintoki's shrewd comment. Was there really any point in fighting it? 

"S-so what? The stories and characters are unique-that's all. Don't think I'm saying anything good about you". 

"Hmph, whatever you say". 

After that, the ball of conversation simply began rolling again. 

"So, uh, I noticed you have one of, er...Shinsuke Takasugi's novels. Do you like those too?" He had to ask, out of curiousity. But he didn't know how he would feel if Hijikata was actually a fan of them. 

"Well, if you snooped around my home anymore than you did, you would have seen that I only have one". Gintoki's eyes widened slightly, but maintained his composure. 

"How come? You don't like horror?" 

"It's not that. Someone at work recommended it and, well, I just gave it a shot. It wasn't really for me, though". 

"Seriously? I heard that the majority of people who read his books love them. What, you don't like ghosts and ghouls? They scare ya?" 

"Of course not. Don't-Don't be ridiculous. I'm an adult man. Stuff like that isn't scary--at all". 

"Oh, y-yeah. Pfft, no way. It's not...scary at all". 

Did they both just unconsciously admit to the other that they're scared of ghosts? From the tremble of embarrassment in theit voices, it seemed clear--but no one would admit it to the other. Of course they wouldn't... After that, the words just continued to flow, like the other night when they had a few drinks and allowed the conversation to carry on. It was so strange, although not recognised at first, but Gintoki had a lot more in common with Hijikata than either of them realised. They were little things that didn't seem very important, but they made a change from all the flaws that they had in common.

"You seriously like Ketsuno Ana?" Hijikata asked, once the topic was brought up, before taking a sip of his drink. How many had that been for each of them? 

"You don't? She's both cute and hot". 

"I don't see it". 

"Suit yourself. Do you even get attracted to the opposite sex? It'd sure as hell surprise me since you work with a lot of men, and a gorilla". 

"Shut up--I'm not into that. Anyway, I don't really feel any interest since my work keeps me busy". 

"That's depressing". 

"I bet you're the same. When was the last time you've been with a woman?" 

"I-I'm not gonna answer that! Come on~that's personal". 

"What are you, a girl?" 

"Fine then! I'm just as sexually frustrated as you! Although you can hardly tell right now". 

"I can tell, right now". 

"What-you...! Uuugh, fine! I miss it! No one likes a natural perm, that's why women don't find me attractive. You, on the other hand, actually have looks although you have a shitty personality". 

"Oi, you're just as shitty. I don't see how you can say that now". 

"Eh? Meaning?" 

Hijikata hesitated, and then didn't answer at all as he sipped his drink quietly. 

"O-kay, whatever. Haah...I think I'm done for tonight. I have to work tomorrow, so...". 

"Yeah, me too. I am a little tipsy, though". 

"That's 'cause you have a lower tolerance than me. Looks like we don't have too much in common. Excuse me, could we pay now? Shit, if I were still in my early twenties, I would have just put it on my tab". 

They paid for their drinks, finally standing up and turning to face the rest of the bar before walking out. It had cleared out quite a bit since they arrived. 

"Wait, what time is it?" Gintoki asked, seeing Hijikata check his cellphone. He looked quite surprised. 

"Ah, it's nearly ten at night". 

"Woah, seriously? Geez, how long were we talking for? Uh, anyway...". 

It felt a little awkward agian since it appeared that they had been talking for a number of hours of only a few drinks. At least it took the stress away. Upon actually taking steps to the exit, Gintoki felt a little out of it himself. They hadn't gotten drunk, just a little tipsy. They had the same amount of alcohol as well...Shit. Gintoki really didn't want to take back that last statement, so he acted as collected as possible in his condition. They walked back towards the apartment building together, taking in the journey in order to sober a little. It did seem to work, but by the time they arrived, the feeling remained. Hijikata, out of th pair of them, wished to sober up faster so he could actually sleep better. They both made their way up the staircase of the apartment complex to the hallway between apartments. By now, they intended to go their separate ways, but one of them spoke up. 

"Hey...". Gintoki, surprisingly spoke up. "Wanna, uh...g-get some tea? I have a brand that could help us sober up". 

Hijikata thought about the offer for those few seconds, although he couldn't think straight enough to realise how weird that was coming from Gintoki--even if he was tipsy. 

"Um, sure, I guess? I mean...thanks, I could use it". 

Gintoki gave a nod before taking out his key and unlocking his door. They both headed inside, Hijikata's eyes already exploring the place with curiousity. The structure of the place wasn't too different from his apartment, but it was hard to tell for a moment due to the huge difference in furniture. 

"Take a seat. I'll make up that tea". 

Gintoki said, taking off his shoes before walking around comfortably. He headed straight for the kitchen in a smooth turn. Hijikata hesitated, though. He slipped off his shoes, muttering an "excuse me" before entering. The clanking of cups emitted from the kitchen as Gintoki set up everything. Hijikata would just have to wait patiently. Instead of sitting, Hijikata explored from a standing position. It was surprising to see Gintoki with no bookshelf, despite being an author. You'd think an author would enjoy books enough to write them. He was so talented too, as much as Hijikata hated to admit it, but Gintoki had absolutely no reference material from other great authors. Made him wonder why Gintoki wrote books in the first place, and so well. Feeling quite uncomfortable by just standing around, Hijikata took it upon himself to sit down on one of the sofas, like Gintoki had offered earlier. He could faintly hear the boiling of the kettle as his curiousity led his eyes to a sign above the T.V. It read; "Mind Your Sugar Levels", in kanji. What kind of apartment has a sign like that, aside from Gintoki's? It was odd, but Hijikata had heard from Gintoki that his blood sugar was quite high. But why keep a big sign about it? The whizzing of the boiled kettle snapped Hijikata from these thoughts before Gintoki turned off the stove. Still on the edge of the sofa, Hijikata relaxed a little. And it wasn't long for Gintoki to bring over the two tea cups. Of course, he kept traditional japanese tea cups, and of course Gintoki put cream on his. 

"Here, drink up". Gintoki passed on to Hijikata before sitting himself down. 

"Uh, thanks...".

Softly blowing the emanating, almost transparent steam from the hot tea, they both took the first sip and let out a sigh. It was sweet, like honey. 

"Yeeep, that's better". Gintoki said after a sigh, leaning back on the sofa comfortably. "I still feel kinda intoxicated, but now I don't feel like killing something". 

"Right. Same here". Hijikata hid his small smile by taking another small sip of his tea.

The stress seemed to drift away with every sip, like the small strig of steam drifting from the warm liquid. 

"Y'know, it won't kill ya to just sit back and relax. I don't bite". 

Hijikata was taken aback by those words. Although hesitant, he slid his backside further into the couch until his back leaned against the sofa's soft back. Gintoki comfortably leaned his leg over his knee in a way that wouldn't damage his crotch. He envied how women could cross their legs so easily and comfortably. 

"Never thought we'd act so civil two nights in a row". Gintoki spoke placing his tea on the end table beside him. 

"Yeah, pretty weird, huh?" Hijikata replied casually, taking another few sips of his drink. 

"You know...". Gintoki looked to Hijikata seriously, their eyes making contact at the change of Gintoki's tone. "I, uh...Ahem...I...". Gintoki already couldn't believe the words that wished to roll off the tip of his tongue. He hesitated, remembering how much of a pain in the ass that shitty cop was. Still, the alcohol helped. "I don't think...it's that bad hanging out with you. I mean, when you don't act like a shitty government official with a stinking attitude and a really bad addiction to mayonnaise-that's worse than cigarretres-I think...I can relate to you--just a little bit". 

"...? ...Heh, yeah. Although you act like a shitty natural perm head with a stinking attitude and a disgusting addiction to sugar-that's even worse than your addiction to causing me trouble-I think you're not so bad yourself when you've relaxed a little". 

It technically counted as saying at least one nice thing about eachother. They say opposites attract, but these two are the so similar in quite a few aspects that they end up arguing and spouting hateful comments about eachother. Gintoki picked up his tea, taking a bigger gulp before retracting it. He licked the remaining cream for his lips, unfortunately missing a bit from the corner. 

"You missed a spot". Hijikata pointed out bluntly. Gintoki then wiped his lips with the back of his hand. He still missed. This, unexpectadely, made Hijikata let out a chuckle. "No, here, you idiot". 

Hijikata put down his tea, reaching out to Gintoki, wiping the cream from the corner of Gintoki's lips. The sutface of his thumb sweeped over the soft, warm lining of Gintoki's bottom lips until his skin picked up the spot of sticky cream. There was a pause once Hijikata retracted his hand, not retracting himself from being so close to Gintoki. With such a surprised expression on Gintoki's face, with no words of anger from his mouth, a sudden throb connected their heartbeats. 

"Uh...Huh...". Hijikata murmured quietly, his lips parted with surprise. 

"W-what...?" Gintoki asked, puzzled. 

"U-um...Shit...It's nothing really, just...Your...Your eyes are quite shiny up close". 

"Uu...? I-I see what you mean. Yours don't seem that...scary up close. That's, uh, a...nice shade of blue". 

With the realisation just hitting them, the two immediatly badked away from eachother. "What the hell?!" They both thought, irritated and humilated by those dumb words. They were both guys? Why the fuck would they compliment eachother's eyes like some couple?! The frustration dragged on in their heads, but it was hard to deny that their hearts throbbed for one mere moment. It was the alcohol...The alcohol and the friendly atmosphere was messing with theit heads! At least, that's what they told themselves. They wanted to think fast to back away completely from that. 

"Ah-fuck...Look, I didn't mean-". 

"It's fine, Gintoki". Hijikata swiftly interupted before standing to his feet. "I'm just gonna go. I...actually enjoyed drinking with you. Maybe we could do it again sometime without fighting. See ya later". 

"Uh, hold on. I'll walk you-ah?!" Gintoki swiftly stood up, the sudden action leaving him a little light-headed. He staggered a little, only for Hijikata to catch him. 

"Idiot! You're still a little tipsy, aren't you? Stand up straight, dammit". 

Gintoki held onto Hijikata a little to steady himself, his gaze shifting and then widening slightly. Fuck...They were much closer than before. It was the right time to just back away and leave this awkward situation without another word of it forever. However, out of nowhere, the curiosity of it all arose from behind the clouds and enticed the two men to get just a little closer. Gintoki swallowed, his mind more unfocused as he stared at Hijikata in silence. Their expression drew relaxed features as their hearts throbbed against the walls of their chest. That brief throb was curiosity and excitment forced together to start something that neither of them wished to start in the first place. Despite all the hatred and fights and the little annoyances about eachother, that one cosy night had captivated them together within the binds of "wanting to know what it would feel like". Neither of them had ever felt any sort of intimacy like this with another man, but somewhere along the way it sparked through discovering eachother's likes and dislikes, the novels and old arguments they used to have. This, right now, was so new and thrilling that the temptation pushed them both together, tighter within binds. It was in merely a few seconds that led to this...What led to a hitch of the breath, a warm touch of their noses, eyes closed and then the tilt of the head to...meet lips. 

The first immediate thought was the almost painful throb of a skipped heartbeat before the settling of soft lips moulding together. They parted by mere inches, taking a gasped breath before Gintoki made his move on instinct. He nipped at Hijikata's bottom lip with his before licking it ticklishly. Hijikata complied while a cold sweat formed in his palms and between his shaky fingers. He tugged on Gintoki's sleeves for support as he dared to part his lips. It allowed Gintoki to push his tongue past those smooth, moist lips and find a warmer, wetter spot within Hijikata's mouth. Neither of them could breath, the sound of shaky breathing having to come in and out through their noses with haste in their nervous state. Their tongues pushed together, creating a thrilling chill to run through their ribcages as the wet sounds of the playfullness and this new intamacy filled the silence. The sickeningly sweet taste ran over Hijikata's tongue from Gintoki's as their tongues circled eachother and their saliva strings connected. It felt so strange to be doing it with another man, but it was so exciting at the same time. They were both fantastic kissers, although Gintoki had the advantage of practice. With such contact, heat spread over their lips-feelings hot and a little swollen in seconds. It was when Gintoki's tongue decided to explore a little further that they both pulled away with a sharp gasp. The sounds that once filled the silence for those first pleasurable few seconds had cut off within a split second. Hijiakata retracted his hands away from Gintoki, still shaking a bit from the surprise. There was silence, a red blush shared between them as heavy breaths escaped them. 

"I...I definitely have to, uh...go now. Excuse me" 

Hijikata was the one to gain his sense of reason the quickest, although his refusal to look Gintoki in they eyes and his crimson blush made it clear he wasn't composed in any way. He was so shaken up and shocked by it that his legs remained fixed to the floor for a few more seconds before he brought up the strength to unsteadily walk away from the scene. Gintoki didn't say anything, even as he watched Hijikata leave at an unsteady form of walking. Hijikata, when he managed, reached the front door and left. Silence, once more. 

His breathing became softer, Gintoki's mind a blank page as he tried to process what just happened. He touched his lips with his fingers, suddenly feeling a lot more conscious of what he just did with Hijikata. He felt like swearing, like getting angry at Hijikata or at himself. He thought about it: what had happened in the previous hours. 

("...it does kinda sound like you like Hijikata-san, riiight?") That's what Kagura said, accusing him of something that wasn't true in the first place. He considered the fact that she may have put weird thoughts in his head. But there was more. 

("I think you're not so bad yourself when you've relaxed a little"). Gintoki felt irritated. Those cosy moments with Hijikata, getting to know the little things about him...He thought that it put weird thoughts into his head. He wasn't attracted to Hijikata, he had no feelings for him other than irritation and anger. So why...Why did that become so intimate? Why did he kiss Hijikata? And why did he actually like it? 

... 

The Saturday morning had arrived, another work day at the publisher's office--but only for the opposing "team", which had become known as the "Kiheitai". They weren't soldiers, nor real demons but they certainly worked like it.

"Oi, leacherous lolicon, where's Bansai?" Matako asked the leacherous lolicon publisher, Takechi, in a cold tone as he passed by her desk. 

"I'm not a leacherous lolicon, I'm a feminist. And Kawakami-san is attending to some private business outside the office". 

"He's getting donuts and tea, isn't he?" 

"Something along those lines, yes". 

"Isn't he suppose to pick up Shinsuke-sama's project manuscript today? Lucky bastard lives with him so it's more convenient for him to pick it up. Hmmngh...I'm jealous! There! I said it!" 

"Kijima-san, I know. You're not very good at hiding it". 

"Shut it, Takechi-senpai! It's not like you understand real love". 

"That's not true. There was this one beautiful flower from grade school...". 

"I don't wanna hear your disgusting stories about you stalking grade schooler girls at their sports day. Haah...Looks like I'm gonna have to pick it up. Oh well...Guess I'll have to". 

"Again, you're not very good at hiding your excitement". 

"Fine! As if you understand real love for Shinsuke-sama!" 

At those words, Matako grabbed her bag and cellphone before storming out of the office and towards the elevator. Hell, she would have bolted down the staircase if she didn't want to look like a huge weirdo for wanting to pick up Takasugi's manuscript. It would be her first time doing so, thus excitement ensues. At least she could thank Bansai for something, although she wouldn't do it out loud. 

The only time Matako had a skip in her step was from the first time she visited Takasugi's apartment. That was months ago, and then Bansai moved in and she never saw it again. She had nothing personal against Bansai since they got along fairly well, but she couldn't help but feel envious. She wondered, through her walk to the apartment building, if Bansai ever handled all the laundry at once. Did he see Takasugi's... 

"Gah! What the hell am I thinking?! It's too early in the morning!" 

Matako ended up stopping dead in her tracks, saying those words aloud even as people past by. They glanced over to the random girl yelling that early in the morning. If they knew, they would have suspected that her panties were already wet just from the thought of her beloved "Shinsuke-sama~". God, did she even know him that well or was she just acting like a teenager? She continued on, determind to get the manuscript from him since the deadline was for that afternoon. Takasugi was efficient, especially with such a small project. Of course he would have it finished on time. Of course... 

... 

"Uh...Shinsuke-sama?" 

So, there she was; standing before Takasugi's apartment door--nervous. It had only just caught on when she was faced with the door, knowing he was inside. Takasugi was most likely tired from working--poor thing. These thoughts didn't escape Matako as she was building up the courage to knock and interupt him. She hesitated to raised her fist, but did so gradually. It neared closer and closer to the wood of the door, a gulp clawing its way down her throat. Butterflies fluttered in her stomach and sweat formes in the palms of her hands. But, suddenly, as she was just about to knock-finally-the door creaked open and Matako found herself stood frozen. If for a moment, at least. There stood Takasugi on the other side of the door, holding the two page manuscript in his hand. He leaned on the shelf by the door, obviously tired with a really scary aura hanging over him like a dead sheep. It's like he tried to count sheep in order to get some rest but ended up killing the first one on sight. Not like they were really there--but still--he looked like he had just murdered something with that scary look in his one good eye as he stared at Matako. 

"Uu...Sh-Shinsuke-sama...". 

"...It's finished". 

"Eh?-ah!" 

At Takasugi's words, spoken with exhaustion clear in his voice, he then toppled to the side, collapsing on the floor. 

"Wha-! Sh-Shinsuke...Shinsuke-samaaaaaaaaa!!" Matako cried out, loud enough for the whole building to hear, and loud enough for Takasugi to go deaf if he hadn't passed out. "Shit...!" She cursed. "Shit! Shit! Shit! I-I have to call Bansai! Get him over here...". 

Entering the apartment with a quick apology to her passed out crush, Matako closed the door and began speed-dialing for Bansai. It rang for several seconds with Matako internally screaming for him to get his damn headphones off and pick up! 

"Come on~...Pick up...Pickuppickuppickuppickup!" 

["Yo..."]. 

"Bansai! Get your ass over here! Shinsuke-sama passed out and I need-". 

["I'm busy"]. 

"No you're not! You went out to get donuts, didn't you?! Just get over here and help me! Your Shinsuke-sama's roommate and I can't carry him to the sofa--where he can sleep peacefully!" 

["Fine. I'll be there in a moment. Ah, ma'am, could you make it two teas? Thank you"]. 

"You bastard! Stop ordering and get over here! Am I gonna have to do this myself?!" 

["Just until I get there. Trust me, Shinsuke's as light as a feather. See ya"]. 

"Wait! How do you know that-?! Ah! Bansai?! Bansai! That jerk hung up on me!" 

Matako, officially pissed off, turned her phone off. She had to take matters into her own hands. 

"Sorry, Shinsuke-sama. I'll have to help you, since the floor must not be very comfortable. O-kay. Come on". 

Matako, slipping off her shoes at the entrance, soon got behind Takasugi, crouching down before hooking her arms under his in order to raise him from the floor a little. She was just as small so there was no way she could lift him up completely. So she yad to drag his feet to the sofa. Huh, he was pretty light as well as pretty. 

"Ugh...C-come on...Hunngh...I need to work-out more. Shit...Ghh...Here we go, just a...little more". 

Once Matako managed to lay him over the sofa, she let out a sigh of relief. The next step was... 

"Ah, right. I should stop you from getting cold. Excuse me, Shinsuke-sama". 

She grabbed the blanket from the back of the sofa, draping it over Takasugi's body as he slept peacefully. Really...He needed to take better care of his health, otherwise he really would die. Matako had never shown such worry for anyone in her life, but knowing that she managed to deal with the situation made her feel a little relieved. Crouching beside Takasugi, Matako adjusted the blanket slightly due to her own fretting and slight possessiveness. She had never been so physically close to Takasugi before. She just wished that he would be conscious for such a mgical moment in her life. Staring at such a peaceful expression, Matako swallowed hard as her heart pounded. Never had anyone else made her feel so excited. 

"Shinsuke-sama really is beautiful...". 

She mumbled to herself, taking an internal note about his lashes and fair skin. His hair looked so soft and well-kept. The only thing that seemed to ruin it was the bandage covering his eye. Sure, it gave him a more mysterious aura, but everytime she looked directly at it, she felt a sadness form within her. How could such a thing happen? When? Why? Her hand trembled in the air as she reached forward, closer and closer to push the loose strands away from Takasugi's face. He looked so precious...So precious that Matako's heart seemed to beat louder against her ribcage. 

"Shinsuke-sama...". 

"What are you doing?" 

"Aah...!" 

Matako jumped to her feet, surprised by the sudden voice that came directly from the front entrance. She almost fell on her backside if she had still wore her shoes. Her gaze swiftly darted to the front entrance, her cheeks red. It was Bansai, one hand causlly in his pocket while the other held a plastic bag. His face was as straight as usual. 

"B-Bansai, you jerk...!" Matako spoke quietly as not to wake up Takasugi. "How long have you been standing there for?!" 

"Right up until the point when you wet our floor. I'm just glad we don't have carpet". 

"Wha-?!" Matako looked down at the floor quickly, then the rage only increased as it was clear that the floor was bone dry. "The hell?! Why the hell does everyone think I wet my underwear around Shinsuke-sama?! I'm no pervert!" 

"Whatever you say, Matako. Now, do your job and deliver the manuscript that's on the floor over there. I'll take care of Shinsuke". Bansai picked up the scattered paper, handing them to Matako. She looked pretty pissed. 

"Fine...But you'd better come 'round the office later to do your job". 

"I will. Lemme just make sure that Shinsuke doesn't need an ambulance...again". 

Matako grumbled, slipping the papers into her bag before slipping her shoes back on and leaving as quickly as she could. Although, those few seconds were the best of here life so far. If only Bansai hadn't interupted...If only he hadn't been there in the first place. "Wet the floor", tsk...Yeah right... 

... 

Bansai approuched Takasugi as he slept, crouching down by his side. Bansai looked over Takasugi's position and sighed. 

"The blanket was draped the horizontal way". He pointed out, shaking his head. Takasugi's feet and legs were exposed, most likely cold. 

Bansai took it upon himself to adjust this, since it had somehow become a part of his job to do these sort of things, as Takasugi's roommate and...well, his ally. He spread out the blanket correctly over Takasugi's body, seeing him turn on his side comfortably and curling up under the sheet. 

Bansai, pausing for a moment, reached out to push away the loose strands of soft hair from Takasugi's face. It was a brief moment that he didn't register until his retracted his hand away, stuffing it within his pocket as a way to leave the situation. Still, he couldn't help but think how uncomfortable the bandage must have been while he slept. It wasn't his place to deal with that matter; however, Bansai knew the air had to get to Takasugi's eye, otherwise... 

"I'm not giving you permission, you know". A smirk formed on Takasugi's lips, his one good eye opening to look directly at Bansai. 

"So you're awake. What, did you pretend this whole time?" 

"Of course not. I couldn't sleep because of my bandage". 

"If that was the case, you should have just passed out on your bed". 

Takasugi chuckled softly, agreeing. He didn't see to have much energy in his body, thus he remained in his lying position. He would request for some assistance, but...his pride was a little too strong in such circumstances. It was then that Takasugi made the attempt to get up himself and walk himself to his bedroom to rest for the day. Taking one step, he trembled slightly like a babh deer learning how to walk, nearly collapsing then. Bansai, however, made a lucky catch of his superior, allowing him to lean on his shoulder. It was a little awkward, considering their differences in height. Takasugi would have said; "damn it, you're too tall". But bit his tongue as not to say something so degrading. 

"Come on, I'll get you there. Might as well. Hm...?" Just as they walked, Bansai squeezed Takasugi's side gently. Takasugi accidentally trembled. 

"Wh-what? What is it?" 

"You've lost weight again". Bansai simply pointed out. "I'll prepare something later". 

"I don't need you fretting over me. Kijima does that enough". 

"It isn't fretting. I just don't want to see you die. It'll be a hassle. I swear, you're killing yourself with this job". 

"Thanks, Mother. I'll be fine. And if I have to be dragged back to hospital, so be it. I'll drag my laptop with me to continue work". 

"Haah, you're so stubborn". 

"Damn right". 

Bansai managed to carry Takasugi to his bedroom for rest. And it didn't take him long to take his leave as well. 

"If ya need anything, just say so". 

"I know. I'm perfectly fine. Thank you, Bansai. Now, if you'll excuse me". Bansai gave a nod of understanding before leaving the room. 

Takasugi, with a sigh, began unwrapping his badage from his eye. Good thing he didn't have any mirrors in his bedroom. It would only make the back of his eyelid burn. It had been a very long time since he actually felt his scar--nevermind look at it. It would only bring the vivid memories back that would echo in his head. 

("Sensei...!") Over and over. He could never forget...his hatred. 

"Gintoki...I hope to hell you're still thinking about him...Bastard...". He mumbled to himself, taking another breath to ease himself before he he lay down to rest. 

It was then that he considered that the thoughts would fade while he slept, but they wouldn't. No...They never could fade away... 

... 

"Alright! Bring it-aru~! I'm gonna kick your ass! I'm gonna lay you in the dirt, you sadist! Think you've got game, huh~?! I'll show you!" 

"Oi, China Girl, we're just gonna play arcade games. Relax or you'll have to take a time out in the ball pit". 

"What did you just say?! You wanna fight for real?! Gin-chan always says that I'm freakishly strong for a fourteen-year-old girl, like in the animes. I'll beat the crap outta you!" 

Kagura slammed her fist against her palm as a physical threat towards Okita. He didn't falter, a smug smirk still on his face. It was Saturday, the day that Okita and Kagura fight it out over simple arcade games instead of using their fists. They were pretty reckless when it came to compition, so they may just get kicked out of the arcade. It was then after a half day of school that they decided to enter the battle field. Kagura was still in her uniform, but she didn't want to wait. 

"Sure, sure. Grow a few centimeters and grow your hair back before you can say that to me". 

"Huuh?! You talkin' 'bout my hair?! Want me to tear your's out of your head-aru?!" 

"No thanks. Now come on, you're holding us up, slowpoke". Okita walked on ahead, his smirk remaining. 

"Oiiii! Wait up! Don't walk away from me!" 

It was hard to admit-even in his head-but Okita was already having more fun than what he ever has at college. Kagura was just a bundle over energy waiting to explode, get angry and throw insults at him. It was fun since he made no attempt to fight back in the same fashion. He just talked her down and riled her up with a smug look on his face. She was younger so seeing her hate to lose was all the more entertaining. 

"So, how's Danna doing? Still alive?" 

"Yeah...Why do you wanna know?" 

"Well, Hijikata moved in next door to him a while ago and, ever since then, Hijikata's been acting kinda strangely". 

"Eh...?" 

"It was pretty funny watching him walk into stuff with that blank look on his face. I don't think he's been getting enough sleep, knowing his arch enemy is living next door". 

"Uh-...huh...". 

"What...?" 

"Well, Gin-chan acted really strangely this morning as well. I saw him digging around the sofa looking for a time machine, then he got all defensive when I asked what he was doing". 

"Is that so? Heh, weird". 

"Ya think...something happened?" 

"Nah, Hijikata and Danna? I doubt it. Hijikata probably just had a nightmare that there was a mayonnaise drought". 

"Uh-huh. I guess. Maybe Gin-chan finally got put on the se offenders list". 

"Maybe. If it was for sadism, he really is the Boss". 

"That's why you should be on the list, asshat". 

They continued to walk down the street, no longer thinking about the strange behaviour of their superior and guardian. That was for the best, otherwise they would get silly ideas. Yes...Silly...ideas... 

... 

That following evening, Gintoki wandered out into the streets with his hands stuffed in his pockets and embarrassing memories filling his head. He and Hijikata actually kissed...And he remembered everything! Honestly, he didn't know what came over him. He still blamed it, with all his strength, on the stupid thoughts that were planted in his head. As if he'd have a crush on Hijikata! As if he could be cosy with him! That was the last time he would ever drink with that guy? But...he did invite him again...Gaaah! That was before the kiss! Before! There was no way they could ever drink together again. At least, Gintoki promised that to himself as he idly wandered around the streets, towards the hotel district. He felt a little embarrassed, but this was te only way to take his mind off of what happened while maintaining his pride. But as he turned the corner, a hand stopped him dead in his tracks. 

"The hell you doin' here, bastard? Didn't I already have you banned?" 

Oh, that's right...Gintoki had been banmed from the strip club that was located in the hotel district. It's bouncer, Tsukuyo, stopped him with anger burning in her eyes. 

"Oh, come on, Tsukuyo...Gimme a break. I just want a drink". 

"Then go to a bar". 

"I want a drink while staring at pretty ladies, okay? Ack!" 

Tsukuyo grabbed his jaw, squeezing his cheeks tightly. 

"As if I'd ever let a pervert like you gawk at the girls. Show some respect!" 

"This place is full of pervert! Why are you pickin' on me?!" 

"Because they no, when I'm there, to keep their grubby hands off the girls. I'll fuckin' kill you for what you did!" 

"I told you, it was an accident! I didn't mean to grab you!" 

"Who the hell reaches out and squeezes thin air?!-"accidentally" grabbing a woman's breast, huh?!" Tsukuyo's face was flushed red, her adrenaline preparing her to slam Gintok's head against the pavement. 

"Gimme a break already! It won't happen again!" 

"Look, if you're so desperate for company, go pick up a prostitute a couple blocks down". 

"No way! Just-ack!" Gintoki managed to swerve away from Tsukuyo's grasp, her fist clenched. "Look, I owe you for that. I'm sorry, so can you just lay off?" 

Tsukuyo sighed, loosening her fist and crossing her arms. 

"Fine. But you're still banned from here. Boss' rules". 

"Damn it! Fine! I'll go wander around until I can get a good drink and a nice lady to help me forget my troubles. Damn...". 

Gintoki started walking again, closing his eyes as he tried to ease himself. But, really, all he could think about was... 

"Ahhhh! I have to stop thinking about it!" He stopped himself from bringing up the images, but it didn't last as it quickly came back. 

The softness...the wet, smooth, warm-... 

"Fuuuuuuuuuck! Damn that stupid mayoraaaaaa!" His voice echoed, calling out to heaven and hell that he regreted what he did. Gintoki's face warmed up at the looped thought about how good the kiss felt--the best...He didn't want to think that way...No way...But... 

"G-Gintoki...?" Gintoki raised his head upon hearing that voice, his mind snapping into focus as he was faced with a huge surprise. 

"Hi-Hijikata...?!" Why was he theeeeeere?! 

They both felt themselves panic upon facing eachother once again--and in such a place! 

"Wh-What are you doing here?" Gintoki asked, nervous as he couldn't bring himself to look Hijikata in the eye. 

"I...I just finished my patrol. There's a lot of crime in these districts, so...Wait, what are you doing here?" 

"Uh! I...I...". Gintoki cleared his throat awkwardly, looking away from Hijikata. If he saw his face...he wouldn't be able to stop thinking about it... "I just...wandered here. I mean, I wasn't really paying attention so I...What, you gonna arrest me for wandering around?! Does this count as misconduct, Mr Policeman?! Hah?!" 

"Gintoki...". 

"Am I doin' something wrong?! Do I look like a criminal to you?! Well, guess what...?" 

"Gintoki! You're still thinking about last night, aren't you?" 

"...!" 

Gintoki froze, but gradually felt himself ease as those words were said aloud. He couldn't lie: he was embarrassed about the whole situation. For a guy so shameless, he was quite shameful for panicking over such a thing. Yeah, he couldn't get it out of his head--but it wasn't as if he wanted to think about it. It was challenging enough trying to get the images out of his head. 

"What about you?" Was Gintoki's response, failing to answer the question himself. "I can imagine that you didn't want to think about it". 

"Of course not. I've been trying to stop thinking about it all day. It's a hassle. But...". 

"N-no...Don't". Gintoki reached, shaking slightly. "Don't say "but". There is no "but" in this conversation. Let's just forget about it and move on, okay?" 

"Gintoki...". 

"I'm not listening to it. Nope. La-la-la-can't hear you~!" Gintoki covered his ears and squeezed his eyes shut childishly, trying to block out more than Hijikata's words. 

"Gintoki, listen up!" Hijikata swiftly approuched, removing Gintoki's hands from his ears and holding them securely without thinking. No, seriously, he wasn't thinking about it. "Listen to me you damn natural perm! I hate your attitude! It's the worst! You have a bad tendancy to piss me off, cause me trouble and get yourself into trouble-this giving me more work! Believe me, I had absolutely no intention to do what I did last night--and I'm sure we're on the same boat with that one! But...But...! ...Agh! Fuck it! That was the best kiss I ever had!" 

"Wha-...Are you an idiot?! Don't say stuff like that!-You're crazy!" 

"It was for you too, wasn't it?!" 

"N-no...Hijikata, it...Let's just drop it!" 

"You can't even look me in the eyes and say it. Gintoki, look at me and tell me the truth". 

"What the hell are you saying?! Cut t out!" 

"I won't. I refuse. Because of you I've gone all weird! Take responsibility!" 

"I'm the one who's gone all weird! You're the one who became all friendly with me in the first place!" 

"Haah?! You're the one who started it! And you're the one who kissed me first, dammit! If you did that, you must have liked it, right?!" 

"Why are you so persistent?! We're both men! It's weird! Besides, I was tipsy last night--I wasn't thinking straight! I would have made-out with Sadaharu with the right amount of alcohol in me!" 

"But would you have given some dog the same look that you did towards me?!" 

"...Eh? I...gave you a look?" 

Hijikata froze, his eyes widening and his cheeks turning red. Did Gintoki...not realise? 

"Haah...Shoot...I...M-maybe it is best if we...forgot about this giant mess. Sorry...". 

Hijikata let go of Gintoki, wanted to light a cigarrette and walk off and away from this huge disaster. He couldn't believe he actually thought that...the look Gintoki gave him meant...he actually... 

"Hijikata, hang on". Gintoki then grabbed Hijikata's wrist to stop him reaching for that cigarrette and walking off. He wanted to clear it up. Clear up the mess. "Did you...Did you think that I...like...liked you in that way?" 

"Damn it...W-well...". Hijikata hesitated, his cheeks practically glowing red. "The night we kissed, you did give me a weird look...Like you wanted to kiss me, and then you did. It wasn't just that. There was the night you came over with booze, and then last night when we drank together. I learned quite a bit about you and vise versa, and we weren't so hostile anymore. I just thought...Haah...I guess it was just because you had a few drinks in you. I feel like an idiot for assuming such a thing. I-it's not like I like you or anything! The kiss was out of pity--then you took it a bit too far and I pushed you away! So there! Now, let go of me". 

"So, you thought that...I had a crush on you?" 

Hijikata's face then turned a darker shade, right up to his ears. He refused to look at Gintoki, his chest aching with a pounding heart. Gintoki began to chuckle, covering his mouth out of some sort of courtesy towards Hijikata and his embarrassment. 

"What are you laughing at?! I'll kill you! Ya hear?!" 

"Hah, hahaha, fuckin' hell...You're too cute...-...! I-I mean...". Gintoki froze as well, suddenly feeling embarrassed again. Now they were just going around in circles! 

"...". 

"...". 

They were both silent, their gazes gradually meeting in the middle, even when embarrassed. Upon making eye contact, their hearts simultaniously pounded in their chests. It was just like the first time, kind of. Neither of them had drank alcohol that night, yet they were having the same feelings collide all too close in a mix of embarrassment and curiosity. And it didn't take but a few short seconds for them to give in to sweet temptation. They drew closer to eachother, their heads tilting in the right directions. They closed their eyes, foreheads meeting briefly before the tips of their noses and then the softness of their lips joined together oh-so-gently. It was very brief--a split second of temptation broken, but the need to continue growing vastly in the pit of their stomachs, fluttering around like butterflies. They delved in deeper, Hijikata making the dominant move to run his hands around Gintoki's head and lightly running his fingers through his puffy, soft hair. Gintoki smoothly parted his lips for Hijikata to sneak his tongue past them. Their lips moulded and pressed together intimately as their tongues made contact. It still felt so strange to indulge in such a thing with another man, but the exciting thing was that it felt so new compared to a woman. There was more reach, considering their similar heights. Both hands were slighlty bigger, the scent of after-shave surroounding the air, making them both shudder from the familiar and warm scent. Hijikata was dominant this time, playing with Gintoki's tongue with several satisfying moments until Gintoki took his own moment to suck of Hijikata's, bringing a smirk and a moan against the kiss. Their lungs felt heavy, a hot breath escaping them as they decided to part. A string of saliva hung from Gintoki's chin, which he swiftly wiped off. 

"W-wow...". Gintokk sighed, catching his breath at a steady pace. 

"Yeah, that was...actually pretty amazing". They both backed off from eachother, keeping their hands to themselves. 

Once again they were unable to meet gazes after such an itimate thing, but was the intimacy something to get used to? 

"Uh, maybe we should just head-head back to the apartments? Eh-ahem...I'm pretty tired". 

"Right. I can't leave Kagura by herself all night, anyway, so...". 

They both gave an awkward nod, eventually gaining the strength to start walking down the street. "We live next door, moron". 

"I know that! Don't you have a patrol car you need to take back?!" 

"Not tonight. I walked...". 

"Damn it...Fine. Just...not so close". 

"Same to you". 

... 

The two men, Hijikata and Gintoki, reached the top of the stairs to the apartment building, to their homes. They barely said two words the whole time, until they made their stop in the hallway. 

"Well...". Gintoki began, anxious. "I gotta...go do a thing". 

"Y-yeah, me too...A...thing". 

They met gazes for a moment, stopping and staring nervously until... 

"Well, see ya". 

"Yeah, bye, Gintoki". 

Well until they decided to just pit a full stop to the awkwardness by darting back into their apartment fro whence they came. Upon entering and shutting the door, Gintoki slid his back down the surface door in exhaustion and relief. He let out a deep sigh, running his fingers through his hair. 

"Hey, Gin-chan". 

"Wah...!" Then came the voice of Kagura to jump out at him and surprise him, even so casually. 

"Sorry, did I scare you?" 

"As if. Haah...How was the contest with Okita-kun?" 

"We had to call it a draw because we broke the air hockey table". 

"How did you manage that?" 

"I smashed Okita into it because he got a higher scrore than me in pinball". 

"Ah...I see. Good to know. I'm, uh...gonna go to bed. You should go to, even if it is a Sunday tomorrow". 

"Sure thing, Gin-chan". 

Kagura got back into a sitting position on the sofa as Gintoki past by, heading straight for his bedroom. He shut the door, leaving Kagura alone with her thoughts. 

"Something happened to him, didn't it?" She asked herself, suspicious. "Since when does Gin-chan give a damn about my fights with the sadist? Wonder if it's the Mayora's fault..". 

She stuck her pinky in her nose at the thought, quickly denying it in her head in case she was wrong. If she wasn't, though...Nah, she had to be. Right? Right...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How was that kissing scene, though? *3* I swear I wanted to throw up rainbows when writing those parts. I would have from all the yaoi interactions between Gintoki and Hijikata...My gawd-my fujoshi heart would have stopped for just a mere second. Ugh, but when will the smexy smex scenes come? Soon...Geez, I...I need a minute. Just...gimme a minute...Haah...I'm good. Thank you for reading, everyone...Bye. ×_×


	5. The Outward Appearance Is Only The Beginning

First impressions are what begin a relationship-any relationship, whether that's a friendship or romance or even an arch rivalry. And, the vast majority of the time, someone's outward appearance is what gives the first impression. Gintoki was aware of this fact, ever since junior high school when boys discovered what girlfriends were. He was never the most popular--as he believed that girls simply hated his natural perm and careless expression. It's not as if he's never had experience with girls. In fact, he could recall kissing several in his adolescences. That's only when they got past the naturally wavy hair. Even in his adulthood, the loop continued. 

"So, so~ have any of you girls read "Gin's" new novel?" 

"Of course! Why wouldn't we? I bought it as soon as I received my paycheck". 

"Mm-hm. I haven't finished it yet, but it's already so enchanting and just...amazing". 

"I know, right?" 

Gintoki had walked in on this conversation within the break room of the publisher's office. He was tired; each project keeping him from sleeping at night. The stress often got to him easily, thus he couldn't sleep-and he would only grow more stressed. He dragged his feet into the break room, leaning against the vending machines while this group of three women discussed his new book, without knowing that the author was right behind them. 

"The stories are so complex, but so beautiful. "Gin" has to be the exact same, right?" 

"Absolutely-ah...Well, if we're gonna discuss this, let's leave the best for last, right, girls?" 

"...? Oh, right! I see...You're still curious about "Gin's" gender". 

"Who isn't, An-chan? I mean, if they are a woman, she must be very independant and strong". 

"Why do you say that?" 

"Think about it: In every novel written, there's no damsel in distress or some helpless woman in danger. Everyone's like a hero in the story". 

"I see what you mean. She-if they are a she-is really amazing". 

Gintoki had already heard such words a million times. The same conversations went around about Takasugi-although he was depicted as a man always. It must have been the particular genre or his harsh stories. Gintoki had never read them, but he had heard many opinions and judgements about his novels. Sliding some loose change into the vending madhine and clicking B4 for an ice tea, he rolled his eyes and prepared for the conversation that the women saved "best for last". 

"And...". One of the women began, sharing a smirk between the other's that they failed to hide. "If "Gin" was a man...". 

"Eek! I thought you'd never bring it up!" 

"So~, what do you think he'd be like?" 

Suddenly their tone and speed of speaking increased as they all simultaneously got excited in their discussion. 

"Sensitive and compassionate and sooo sweet". 

"Absolutely. Do you think he has a girlfriend or maybe he's a bit too focued on his work?" 

"He has to have someone...". 

"I doubt it. Surely, he would keep his identity a secret for such things". 

"But he must be experienced, right? I mean, no one writes romance so beautifully without experiencing love". 

"True. Awwwh, I bet he's such a gentle lover~!" 

"I think so, too". 

Nope. Nope. Nooooope. Such accusations were beyond Gintoki's character. Sensitive? Compassionate? Sweet? A gentle lover? Gintoki was as hard as rock in personality. He didn't show his emotions easily, except when Ketsuno Ana appeared on T.V. And when it came to sex, he just wanted to get it in and feel good about himself later for achieving such a thing. He was more of a sadist-which he could honestly admit-and had never been in love his entire life. He sighed after taking a big gulp from his ice tea, waking him up more. All of those women were just making up their ideal men in their heads while the real thing stood behind them drinking ice tea from a vending machine, his hair messier than usual and his eyelids practically closing further from the recent lack of sleep. Those women found solace in Gintoki's books while not knowing the author's true identity because it gave them the opportunity to create a character that was better than their ex or current boyfriends. They try to make the best of something that doesn't exist to escape reality and have a moment of bliss from their real lives. And, honestly, Gintoki didn't blame them. As he's always said; "If the writer reveals themself to the world, it lowers the value of their work". It was best to leave them to it rather than feeling sorry for himself that he was nothing like said character depicted. He didn't care to be like that, anyway. Sensitive people are prone to tears in reality, and that's how the birth rate will go down. In reality, nobody likes an overly-sensitive, clingy person that can't get a grip of themselves and grow a pair. 

"Hey, uhh, An-chan, who's that guy?" One of the girls whispered among their group. Gintoki flinched, sensing a judgemental finger pointing directly at him. 

"Huh? I have no idea. Kaori, so you know?" 

"I think I've seen him around here before". 

"What's with the perm head? He forget to comb it this morning?" 

"Don't stare, that's rude. And don't have him look over here either, he has eyes like a dead fish". 

"O-kay, too much, too much. Let's just...escape quietly, okay?" 

"I can already hear you, ya stuck-up bitches" Gintoki called out, surprising all of them. 

They didn't reply, and merely made their escape. Thank god they worked on the second floor. With his hand stuffed in his pocket, and the other still holding his drink, Gintoki eventually made his exit as well. He was used to this sort of thing, being judged without anyone actually getting to know him. Not like he cared, since he had been more of a loner for years. He was used to keeping people at a distance from everything, until he met Shinpachi and Kagura, that is. Ever since then, the number of people to surround him continued to grow more than it had ever been when he was a child, even before...No, it wasn't worth thinking about. Somethings are better left in the past. 

At the end of the day, when the sky turned a dark orange and the sun was descending in the horizon, Gintoki made his exit from the publisher's office. Summer was closing in, a time when the weather would become unbearably hot and the aircon would break from being over-used in such a climate. For now, he just had to wear lighter coats to keep himself from getting sick. God knows that he didn't need that at all. He took his walk down the street, towards the apartment building where Kagura wouldn't be waiting. She was having a sleepover with a group of friends from school, which would go around in a circle until she invited them to the apartment. It was a pain since those girls, aside from Kagura, were interested in boys too early for their age. Even boys waiedt a little longer before talking about sex. At least, that's what it was like when Gintoki was at school. Made him feel like some old guy. When he was fourteen, kids would just get excited about holding hands and playing childish kissing games. Now it was hard to recall the last time he kissed-...Oh...Right...Hijikata...Yeah, he almost forgot that they made-out not too long ago-twice! Gintoki stopped in the middle of the street as the images played badk once more. His face felt warm against the Spring wind. He squeezed his eyes shut as he hit his own cheeks to wake himself up. It was still so hard to believe that he and the Mayora actually kissed-in a public place too! Agh...It was so intimate as well...The best kiss Gintoki had ever had. He shuddered at the thought, feeling uncomfortable from his own actions. Hijikata thought that Gintoki liked him, at least a little. The truth was that Gintoki felt no attraction to men. That was clear to him the first time he noticed a cute girl and when he first entered the men's changing rooms as an adult. Although, both times he was rather self-conscious. 

If he felt no attraction to men, then how could he possibly be attracted to a guy like Hijikata? How could Hijikata be attracted to him, too? It just wasn't possible, or...it just didn't sound right. Sure, they kissed...but why? Knowing Hijikata, despite his thoughts that perhaps Gintoki liked him, he would have pushed Gintoki away the first time and called him an idiot or an uncouth homo-since he made a move while drunk without really considering Hijikata's feelings. But it oddly seemed mutal. From Gintoki's perspective, it was just a drunken kiss that led to accidental enjoyment later on. But from Hijikata...how did he feel? It would be best not to think of such stupid things, but Gintoki was very curious. It wouldn't be ideal to ask him directly, though. 

Continuing to make his way down the street which appeared to be emptying by the minute, Gintoki raised his head, taking his eyes off the pavement, before stopping once more. Coming up from the corner, a puff of smoke drifting out first, was Hijikata. At the corner of his eye, he spotted Gintoki coming the exact same way. They lived in the same building, so it made sense, but usually they didn't bump into eachother. When they did, it would quickly lead to an argument. Now it was just awkward. Ot was odd, but they both hoped to get past that stage whether they stopped kissing from the heat of the moment or if they kept doing it, for whatever reason. Subconsciously, they both agreed to put a pin in such "activities".

"Hey...Hijikata". Gintoki greeted rather awkwardly, clearing his throat. 

"Uh, evening...Did-ahem...Did you, er, just...finish work?" 

Why. 

"Yeah. I...I did". 

Was It. 

"Oh, okay...Uh...". 

So. 

"...". 

Awkward?! 

It wasn't like they were a new couple in high school or something! Did it have to be so awkward to even look at eachother properly?! Agghhhh! Without another word, the two continued to walk in the same direction. After what happened the other night, Hijikata found himself feeling self-conscious and embarrassed about what he said. It seemed like a harmless thought at the time-but he didn't consider that Gintoki was just tipsy and that he didn't actually like-like him! Gintoki felt just as awkward for actually calling him cute and then getting all timid like a fucking teenager! So he was more angry at himself than embarrassed! Seriously! Were they still in high school?!

The worst part was that they both got the nagging notion that this situation was playing in a loop, that things would just continue to be awkward between them--so much so that neither would even have the energy to fight eachother verbally or physically. As adults, it would be best to break away from that notion and try to move back within, what they called "normality"-somehow. First, to get past the previous two kisses. That was the main source of the awkwardness, after all. 

...

The awkwardness did seem to drift with time as they both entered the apartment building. It seemed that they would end up going up together more often. Yet another awkward goodbye didn't seem right. Simply brushing away their meeting didn't seem right. They were adults, despite their usual short-tempers towards eachother and outbursts of anger. Before either of them decided to take out their keys, their thoughts seemed to collide that something had to be said in order to put a stop to the awkwardness. It wasn't the right time to ask questions, but to simply figure something out that could settle things for the moment and put their minds at ease. Hijikata, was the one to swallow his pride and ask the question that had been on his mind the whole time that they walked in-almost-total silence. 

"Gintoki, wait a moment". They both turned to meet eachother's gazes from an arm's length, between their two doors. Hijikata paused, shifting his gaze for a few moments in anxiety. He took a breath, tapping his heel against the floorboards as he worked up the courage to just come out and say what was on his mind. Gintoki was dense of this. 

"What is it? Come on, if ya have something to say, just say it 'cause I don't have all night". 

"A-alright, fine. Gintoki, would you...Uuuugh...Would you like to...haah...Do you want to try going out sometime?" Hijikata lowered his gaze, his cheeks on the verge of turning red. 

"Eh...?" Gintoki's simplicit response was evident enough of his density. He did not expect such words to exit from Hijikata's mouth. "What, like...a date? Haha, th-that's a good one, Hijikata. You nearly got me going there". 

"Why would I make a joke about that? I'm being serious--can't you at least understand that? I know it sounds weird and crazy for you and me, but just think about it. I'm already sick of this awkward loop between us because of two kisses. So, can't we just...try it--once? And if we're both repulsed, that makes it easier to go back to normality". 

He was both nuts and had a point at the same time. They both understood that neither of them were a good match for eachother--but after those kisses, things just got weird. They felt weird. Gintoki would glady refuse and enter his apartment without ever thinking about it again; however, that was only his expectations. In reality, he wished to get out of the awkward loop as well. If they actually saw what it was like to spend more time with the other-a man-they could both become disgusted with the idea and back away. They could eventually forget about what happened. However... 

"And what if we're not repulsed? Huh? Thought about that, Hijikata? I mean, of-of course I hate the idea of spending more than an hour with you-but...what if you start..liking me or something? Is that what this is about? Do you actually like me?" 

"Don't get the wrong idea! I'm not attracted to men either--especially you". 

"Che...!" 

"But ever since you made a move on me, things have just gotten weird. And I think that if we did spend more than an hour together-not as a date-we would just end up fighting and then returning to normal. Okay?" 

Gintoki shook his head, his arms crossed over in refusal. 

"N-no, no! There's no way. It doesn't matter about the situation--we're both guys, and it's you and me for fuck sakes! I can't go through with that at all. Sorry, but I'd rather let the awkwardness die on its own, thank you very much". 

Gintoki put his foot down on that. Hijikata did understand his uncomfortability, and he wasn't going to force Gintoki to go through with such an insane idea. He considered that they may just have to let the awkwardness die on its own without an extra push, no matter what the risk was. 

"Fine". He gave in, taking out his apartment key. "Have it your way. I just thought we could get past this an easier way, knowing how easily you and I get into fights. See ya around, Gintoki". 

Hijikata clicked his key into the keyhole, ready to unlock the door and leave the scene immediatly. Gintoki was prepared to do the same. At least, he thought he was. A screaming irritation in his conscience told him to take back what he said. He was so used to ignoring his conscience, but tonight was different--no matter how frustrating it was. 

"Aggh! Fine! Tomorrow night's when I'm free. You?" 

Hijikata swiftly turned around at those words, surprised. He was taken aback, but composed himself quickly in order to give a straight answer. 

"Tomorrow night is fine. Why don't we meet in front of the ramen place on the 5th Avenue, around six? It's not too far from your work, right?" 

"N-no. That's...just fine". 

"Good. See you then". Hijikata entered his apartment, then, with a frustrated sigh, Gintoki dragged his feet into his. 

He couldn't believe that he agreed to such a thing. But he might as well get it over with if Hijikata was so confident that they would be disgusted by the end of it. Despite that, what were the chances that either of them would go back to hating eachother completely? If they kissed a second time-drawn to eachother by a mere moment-who could say what going out would be like? The hairs on Gintoki's neck and arms stood on end at the thought, his hand immediatly meeting the chill in order to keep it down. Going out with Hijikata...It sounded so strange...but Gintoki was, unfortunately, uncertain about this fact. Would it really be strange? 

... 

Morning broke through, although everyone seemed to be feeling the weight of it all already. It was still Spring, so a chill hung in the air and the need for morning coffee was a necessity in the condition of the poor souls who suffered through all-nighters. One of these souls was Sarutobi. She had spent the whole night in the office, sorting out files and writing up columns. The fun never ended. Entering her small apartment, she rubbed the sleep out of her eyes. What ever happened to her daily dose of Gin-san? She used to be able to see him whenever she wanted in the streets...without him knowing--but still. The golden age of her job had ended long ago when she decided to advance her career and work hard. When was the last time Gintoki yelled abuse at her? She couldn't recall-and it was killing her. Sarutobi dragged her sore feet into the apartment, shutting the door and taking off her high-heels. Her feet ached, her eyes stung and her stomach turned from having to drink so much coffee. It was the only kind of pain she despised. In this condition, her masochistic side was nowhere to be found. With a deep yawn, she headed to the bathroom to wash her face-hoping she wouldn't lose her glasses in the process. Zenzou would still be sleeping at such an early time, so she would be free to just waltz in and-

"Ahh...!" A shriek emitted from inside the bathroom, the image of a girl quickly covering up within. 

"Oh, shit! Sorry!" 

As soon as she opened the door, it was immediatly slammed shut. Sarutobi was still for a moment, sighing deeply as the realisation struck her. Zenzou had brought home a girl...Great...Not the first time, but that didn't mean it was something to get used to. She dragged her feet once more, all the way from the front of the bathroom to the center of the room--a short distance that seemed to drag on for poor Sarutobi. She collapsed in a kneeling position on the floor, in front of the kotatsu table that took up the majority of the apartment. She folded her arms, resting her chin over them. That awkward scene had finally killed whatever was left of her physical energy. Fan-tastic... 

The bedroom door slid open, Zenzou appearing from the crack in the door until he spotted Sarutobi sitting glumy in the center of the room. He sighed, opeing the door fully to greet her. Luckily he was wearing clothes. 

"Hey, Sarutobi-san. You're back early". 

"What, you thought I would be back late enough for your girlfriend to escape?" 

"You saw her, huh?" 

"Yep. Isn't she a college student?" 

"Yes, but she's twenty-one. I like ugly girls, not teenage ugly girls". 

"I know, I know. But, was it me or was she-...". 

Sarutobi didn't get a chance to finish her sentence as the bathroom door opened steadily. This girl peered out, shifting her dark blonde hair behind her ear as she carried her girly patterened socks inbetween her fingers. She cleared her throat, smiling sheepishly at Zenzou. 

"Uh...M-morning, Hattori-san. Sorry, I, uh, used your bathroom to-ahem...cl-clean up". 

"Don't worry about it". Zenzou replied, his composure in better shape than her's. "I'm gonna get ready so I can walk you to the station. Make something up in the kitchen if you'd like". 

"O-okay, thanks...". 

This girl obviously wasn't as used to this as Zenzou was. She was shy and quiet towards Zenzou. Aside from that, the weird thing was that, she was kind of cute-just a little bit. And Sarutobi couldn't help but wonder if he had lowered his standards or something. Well, whatever that means to him. Zenzou entered the bedroom once more, this girl getting all flustered as she sat with Sarutobi at the table. They shared awkward eye contact, the smile disappearing from the girl's face. 

"Uh, I guess you're Hattori-san's roommate, huh? He explained quite explicitly that you're just friends...Can't see why. You're so pretty". 

She was sweet, but Sarutobi didn't care for such comments. After a while she would rather be told that she's complete, masochistic trash than be reminded about how good-looking she was. Although there were several reasons why she would be called trash in the first place.

"You say that, but aren't you glad he's with you?" 

"Oh, absolutely. I came to Japan for school, so I didn't really feel at home for a while. I'm not very pretty myself, so I knew no one would really want to talk to me. But...Hattori-san was different. He looked at me for what's inside instead of my looks". 

"No, I'm pretty sure he saw you for what's on the outside first. He's into that". 

"Uh...Pardon?" 

"Oh, nothing". 

"Well...Anyway, I don't really care if this was just a one-night thing. I have my confidence back". 

"Good for you...I remember having those kind of thoughts before I got a job. I don't get as much freedom as you have, kid, so cherish it while you've got it". 

"Oh, thank you very much. I'll remember that. I think I can get out there again and meet someone like Hattori-san. He's so kind and gentle. Not many people are like him". 

"Yeah, well, the majority of people aren't into unattractive people either". 

"Huh...?" 

"Nothing. I'm exhausted, sorry".

The bedroom door opened once again, Zenzou stepping out in his usual casual attire. The girl, with no name, stood up at that and awaited for Zenzou to walk her out. First... 

"It was nice meeting you Miss...". 

"Just call me Sarutobi". 

"Well, it was very nice meeting you, Sarutobi-san. Maybe we'll see eachother again sometime. Coming, Hattori-san?" 

"Yep, I'll walk you to the station and wait with you of you'd like". 

"Haha, you're too sweet. Thanks". 

The two exited the apartment, leaving only the silence. Seemed like Zenzou had really highered, or lowered, his personal standards just a tad. That girl was kind of cute in looks and personality. She was no supermodel, but she wasn't fugly either. Sarutobi wondered if Zenzou just had a bad night or if he really was just looking at the girl's personality--'cause god knows that she was nice. You should never judge a book by its cover. Among the people who Sarutobi was familiar with, that was a common saying. Everyone was different on the inside from how they looked. With that, people judge you far too quickly. Not that Sarutobi has had any bad experiences with that. It was just simple fact in human society. She needed her energy back. If only Gintoki was around to make that a reality. He always seemed to bring her exhausted body back from the dead with such simple, but harsh, words that never failed to send shivers up her spine. That wouldn't happen on that morning. For once, Sarutobi's main priority was sleep before getting back to work in order to start up her next column. What a pain in the ass... 

... 

Silence, finally. A sigh of relief escaped as the whole room fell silent from coverstion and the thick smell of men's deodorant faded away. It was as awkward as always, a feeling of unease filling Kyuubei's stomach as she looked back on her regrets and the way she was led to live her life. It was hard, having to sneak into the boy's changing rooms before gym class just to change. Everyone was already convinced that she was a boy, yet she felt awkward changing within the confines of the boy's bathroom stall, waiting patiently for the room to clear. Her chest felt tight, a pain sinking into her sides as she tightly held onto her bag. There was no backing away from this, from any of it. From the moment that she began public school, was the moment she was forced into an identity that she had to live with her whole life. But she refused to go back to home-schooling. She chose not to give in that easily, even if the awkwardness and the embarrassment were suffocating. To be honest, she wasn't entirely sure about her identity. Was she a girl or a boy? The question arose in her mind from certain situations, like now, as she snuck out from the changing rooms and outside onto the track. Kyuubei lacked confidence when she wasn't around Otae. Well, she was a confident and strong individual, but this particular situation always left her feeling on edge. It was lucky that the school provided zip-ups with the gym uniform. The sweatpants helped a lot too. It was who she was, yet she couldn't find herself using such pronouns like "he" or "him" for herself. Other's did that for her.

"Yagyuu-kun, come on. Track's starting". 

A girl whom she was familiar with called out to her from the sidelines of the track, smiling brightly. Even that girl didn't know Kyuubei's true gender. No one except Otae and Shinpachi, her little brother, knew. Otae...The girl whom Kyuubei had fallen in love with since childhood, wishing to protect her and grow stronger for her sake. She had plenty of time to do so. Lining up on the track was the first step in showing that. At the starting call, Kyuubei dashed as fast as her legs could go. The adrenaline built up from many exercise sessions pushing her to run ahead of everyone else as naive girls cheered for her, unknowing that their later gossip would be about a girl, not a boy. It was all so frustrating, yet she endured it until the very end. 

When crossing the finish line, Kyuubei's legs were near to giving in, her lungs heavy and her sides practically crushing her. 

"Yagyuu, first again. Very well done. At this rate, you could be our number one male participant during the school's sports festival". Male participant..."It's such a shame that you don't join the track team. Hm? Yagyuu, are you alright?" 

Heavy breaths...It was all too much, so suffocating...too tight...As the heat spread throughout Kyuubei's muscles, her legs trembled under the weight, a light-headed feeling overcoming her and causing her whole body to cave in. Dizzy, Kyuubei collapsed to the side, blacking out. The distant calls rang out from all around. 

"Yagyuu-kun...?!" 

"Is he okay?!" 

"Call the school nurse! Hurry!" 

He...She...Her...Him...What difference did it make? Either way, it was painful to hear. Either was too painful to hear among the vast majority. It was almost unbearable. Out of everyone, there was only one voice that reached Kyuubei. One word that seemed to fit her perfectly, from a particular caring voice among all others. 

"Kyu-chan. Kyu-chan~, wakey-wakey". 

... 

A groan escaped her, a bright light and a damp cloth dripping over Kyuubei's head. She blinked several times with her one good eye, although her eye patch seemed to be off. Realising this, Kyuubei's first reaction was to cover that spot with her hand. 

"Easy, easy. You might still feel a little light-headed after falling like that. Does your head hurt?" 

Such kind words...Such a gentle voice. Kyuubei looked to this voice, seeing a face before her that brought comfort. 

"Tae-chan...What...Where...?" 

"You're in the school infirmary. You gave us quite a scare when you passed out like that. The nurse assumed that you were fatigued and let you rest until you woke up. She isn't here right now, so I took the liberty of taking off your eye-patch. I hope you don't mind". 

"N-no, not at all".

Kyuubei sat up steadily, hissing once the pain in her head seeped in and throbbed against her temple. She covered up her eye, looking around until she spotted the patch on the end table. She didn't hesitate to put it back on over her left eye. She didn't mind that Otae removed it for comfortablity, but she also didn't want Otae to see it the way it was. 

"School's over. I just decided to wait with you until you woke up". 

"Eh? Seriously? What about Shinpachi-kun?" 

"He's fine. He just has work, anyway. I just hope Gin-chan is taking good care of him, like he promised". 

Kyuubei nodded in understanding, her eyes lowered. 

"Is there something wrong, Kyu-chan? Would you like some painkillers?" 

"Maybe when I get home. Uh, actually, Tae-chan, could I come to your apartment today? I kinda just want to spend some time with you right now". 

Otae was concerned by that, the tone of Kyuubei's voice and the slight tremble in her body. Still, she sensed that Kyuubei wouldn't want her to worry. If it was something personal, or that she simply didn't feel like going home, it was understandaboe without question. Otae took a hold of Kyuubei's hand, wishing to lead her off of the infirmary bed.

"Then let's get going. I bought these rice cakes some time ago, but I've been so busy with work and school that I haven't had much of a chance to try them. It would be nice, since spending time with you has become a rare opportunity". 

"Uh, yeah, I would like that, Tae-chan". 

With hands linked, in a friendly sort of gesture, the two made their way out of the infirmary with smiles. Kyuubei was finally smiling. Away from the crowd and the naive people, she could be herself in front of the person she cherished the most. Someone who wouldn't judge her for dressing like a boy or acting masculine to hide who she truely was. Otae was someone who didn't care for pronouns and would ask Kyuubei where she wanted to go for clothes shopping whenever they went. Sure, Otae thought that Kyuubei would suit dresses and skirts, but didn't force her to wear such things if she did not wish. It had become Kyuubei's nature to prefere boyish things over girly things. It was how she was raised, although for the seemingly worst reasons. Could it be helped? Could she continue to live like this, knowing that it wasn't really her? Despite her doubt and hesitation, she knew that it didn't matter to Otae. Otae would just say "you're neither a boy nor a girl. Kyu-chan is Kyu-chan". At first glance, many people saw Kyuubei as a boy due to the way she dressed. But Otae took another look, smiled and called her Kyu-chan. That's all there was to it. And that's why Kyuubei would miss Otae dearly when she moved onto college without her... 

...

Hijikata exited his apartment after just changing out of his uniform. He felt the anxiety already reach him from out of nowhere as he prepared to meet Gintoki outside of his comfort zone. Of course, they usually met outside of their comfort zone and an argument would ensue, but tonight was different. He hated to call it what it was, so he refused to use the word out loud. "Date". Such a word was uneccesary and only made him feel more uneasy about going through that kind of experience--especially with Gintoki. That was the slender amount of motivation that told him either one, or hopefully both, would be put off by the whole idea of spending more time with eachother and being all friendly. It pissed him off. But what seemed to piss him off more was the reality that Gintoki was the best kiss he's ever had. He never expected it, and he couldn't forget it. The embarrassment was the worst, as he kept reminding himself of those silly thoughts that he had about Gintoki. Of course he wouldn't like him romantically! They're both men! That's what it came down to. They weren't a good match no matter what, and that would lead to more fightening and a sense that they should keep more distance before meeting on accident and then fighting again. The ordinary loop would continue--it had to. Those were Hijikata's thoughts as he made his way downstairs. He repeated those facts in his head, hoping that those beliefs would stick and keep him from doing something he shouldn't. He knew he could never be swept away that easily, especially by such a guy. There was no way in hell. 

... 

It was only six in the evening, yet the streets were fairly clear. Summer was approuching soon, so they would certainly fill up again. With his hands stuffed firmly into his coat pockets, his heels practically digging into the earth below, Hijikata made his way to the meeting spot that they arranged. The distance was getting shorter and shorter with each passing moment, and Hijikata was getting cold feet. He was no coward, he could never back down from this after being the one who came up with the idea. He retracted the cigarette from his lips, blowing out a big puff of smoke to rid himself of the frustration that filled his head. Upon reaching his destination, Hijikata threw down the rest of his cigarette, crushing the ash under his shoe before smoothly continuing down the street. As he continued, as swift as his movements carried him, came the realisation that he was approuching a particular figure. In short, Gintoki's figure. That natural perm could be seen from a long distance as it's obnoxious silver colour could light up the street. Hesitant, Hijikata took a breath before heading on with ease. Approuching Gintoki, the man raised his head and gave Hijikata a disdain look of "what took you so long?" 

"What took you so long? He asked. 

"I was smoking. You quit, didn't you? I wouldn't want you to fall back into that habit". He lied. 

"Well, gee, thanks for being so considerate. You reek of it, anyways, but it doesn't change anything. I think the only thing that will drive me back is my job. Now, hurry up. I'm starving". 

Hijikata shook his head to himself as he watched Gintoki enter the ramen place first. They were mutal on that. He had skipped lunch, so the timing was perfect. Hijikata followed through into the ramen place, hesitating just a tad in order to find an appropriate place to sit. They didn't want it to feel like a...uh, "date", so the front counter would be the best option. However, it was already full. The surprising thing was, despite this, Gintoki went on ahead and sat in one of the booths. Hijikata had no choice but to follow, sensing that Gintoki had the whole "get this done and over with" mindset. He accepted that, sliding into the booth as well--making sure to sit at an odd distance from eachother. 

"Yo, Pops". Gintoki called out to the old guy behind the counter. "Could we get two bowls of ramen and some sake over here?" 

"No problem, Sakata-san. Anything for my two best customers". 

"Thanks, Pops". 

They both knew the old man behind the counter very well. In fact, the old man was the only guy who served the Gintoki Special and the Hijikata Special. He was a good guy and made pretty good ramen. He didn't judge Gintoki for eating an over-load of sweet beans on his rice and he didn't judge Hijikata for having an over-load of mayonnaise on his rice. So this was a comfortable enviroment for them, even when they were with eachother. 

"You could have ordered that disgusting pile of crap that you call a "special". Then I think I'd leave much quicker than expected". 

"You're one to talk. I'm surprised you didn't step in and order up your "dog food special". Huh, police mutt?" 

It seemed to be beginning already. The fighting. A calm before the storm, in other words. This sort of thing was what they wanted, right? It would be easier this way, right? This was what was normal. This seemed like the best route to go. 

"I have to say, it's quite unusual to see you two together". Gintoki and Hijikata shifted their gazes to the upcoming voice, Pop's wife. She smiled at the two brightly as she brought over their sake. "Have you perhaps become friends?" 

"Oh, no, nothing like that". Hijikata answered. "We're just sitting here since the counter is kinda full. Just this once". 

"That's a shame, but there are plenty of ramen places around. We know how much you two fight, yet you chose to sit at a booth. I think you two are starting to get along~". 

"Think what you want, Granny. This guy's a lost cause in my book". Gintoki said so confidentally, pouring himself a small cup of sake. 

"Same here, to this guy". 

"Haa...Really...Well, your ramen will be ready soon. Just sit tight". 

"Thanks, Granny. Tell Pop's that his ramen's the best and that we wouldn't have it any other way". 

"Haha, will do, Sakata-san". 

Hijikata poured himself a drink too, picking it up as Gintoki did. 

"Gintoki, here's to getting back to normal". 

"Damn straight". 

Their cups clinked together before drinking. They were both in mutal agreement to this, to "getting back to normal". Despite their anxiety before, this seemed like the best option. It wasn't that they were disgusted by the idea of going out, they just mutally agreed that there was nothing there but a mutal hatred, one that would soon come back the next time they met. It would happen right in front of them. That's what they thought. However, once more they drifted off and got carried away without truely thinking about the big picture. Yes...This became very clear. 

... 

"Hahaha, seriously? The whole aisle of the vending machine?" 

"That's right. I don't know what's gotten into Yamazaki, but all he ever buys from the vending machine is anpan until it's completely cleared out. I think it's gonna lead to malnourishment". 

"Geez...What the hell has being a police officer done to that kid?" 

"Hm? Oh, Yamazaki isn't a kid. In fact, he's older than you". 

"Eh? How old?" 

"Thirty-two. He's...thirty-two". 

"Ehhhh?! Honestly?! Now I don't feel like such an old man anymore-Hallelujah!" 

"Okay, okay. I don't see why you're so excited. You're not that far off in age". 

It had led to this without either of them realising. They had done it again...Moved into a proper conversation, if you could call Yamazaki's anpan addiction a conversation. Still, over two bowls of ramen and a couple cups of sweet sake, anything could happen it seemed. Neither of them were even tipsy. After two cups, they stopped and simply talked. That's what this led to, that's what this became. 

"Oh, man...Eh? Aw, dammit. I'm outta fish cakes. They're just as good as the noodles themselves. Ah, well...Guess I can't really do much about it. I'm full anyway". 

Gintoki leaned back, stretching off his full stomach. It would have been good to have just one more fish cake at the bottom of the bowl, though. Hijikata looked down at his bowl. Empty...almost. His eyes widened slightly at the crushing realisation that he had one last fish cake that he left until last. He clutched his chopsticks in his hand. Hijikata was a mature individual, and he also had a full stomach. Such a thought crossed his mind that left him feeling extremely awkward, but daring to do the deed that no man who enjoys ramen would do. 

"Ah-ahem...G-Gintoki, would you, uh, like...my fish cake? I-I mean, it's the last one, but you can have it if you want". He didn't look at Gintoki, fearing that he would have a mocking or embarrassed expression on his face. Either would be the worst. 

"Eh? N-no, I'm good. I'm full anyway. You have it". That was...unexpected. 

"Really? I insist. You seem to like these more than I do, so just...take it, okay?" 

Hijikata swiftly placed the last fish cake in Gintoki's bowl. He couldn't argue then since it was considered rude to pass food from chopstick to chopstick. Gintoki looked down at the food that entered his bowl, anf then up at an embarrassed Hijikata. He didn't want to make things awkward, so he took it with a quiet thank you and warm cheeks. Wait, that didn't count as an indirect kiss, did it? No...No way. 

"Here's the bill, fellas. Hope it was good". Said Pop's wife as she passed over the little tray with the bill on it. 

"Thanks. It was delicious". Hijikata thanked her, taking out his wallet. 

Gintoki also took out his wallet. It would be better to pay for what individually they had, since it was split evenly anyway. Just as Gintoki took out his wallet, it slipped from his fingers and landed in the center of the floor--right under their table. 

"Ah, shit". Gintoki cursed, looking under the table. "I think it went to your side". 

"Idiot, be careful. Haa...Honestly...". Was Hijikata's response as he, too, looked under the table. 

"Shut it and reach for it. Damn Mayora...Talks too much". 

"Hah, that's rich coming from you". 

They both quarreled while they both got under the table, reaching for the wallet that was arguably on either side of the floor. With such a short distance between them, they both reached out for the leather wallet. In that moment, Hijikata's hand landed first and then Gintoki's overlapped on accident. 

"...!" 

"...?!" 

The both silently panicked, the warmth spreading over their hands and cheeks. Raising their hands, both were still connected. 

"O-oi, gimme my wallet". Gintoki protested, tugging on Hijikata's hand. 

"I will if you let go of my hand--have some shame, we're in public". 

"Ah! You...! You shouldn't have reached for my wallet then! I had it!" 

"You said it was over on my side, so I decided to pick it up for you. Problem?" 

"W-well, yeah! It's my wallet! What, you wanted to meet in such a cliché situation with me? Ya uncouth homo!" 

"Who're you callin' and uncouth homo?! You're the one who's holding my hand so tightly as if you wanted to hold it! Now let go!" 

"Idiot! Don't tell me what to do, damn mutt! You let go!" 

"I can't until you back off!" 

"Fine...!" 

Gintoki let go of Hijikata's hand before attempting to get up from under the table. He miscalculated the distance from there to the small gap leading out. 

"Ack! Ow...!" He hit his head quite painfully. 

"Gintoki! A-are you alright? That looked like it really hurt". Then Hijikata, he...He sounded rather concerned for his natural permed foe. 

"I-I'm fine...Ugh...Fuck...". 

"Here, let me see if it's left a bump. Move your hands". 

Hijikata held Gintoki's wrists gently as he moved them aside in order to check his head for bumps. It was obviously difficult, considering the big puff of wavy hair that cursed Gintoki. 

"I can't really see anything from your hair". 

"Does it bother you?" 

"Does what bother me?" 

"My hair...I mean, you always make fun of me for it". 

Hijikata was puzzled by such a question, but answered honestly. 

"Haah...No, it doesn't bother me. I just can't see if you got hurt or not. There must at least be a bruise". 

Gintoki was surprised by those casually spoken words, raising his head carefully as not to hit it again. 

"Wait, it doesn't bother you? How so?" 

"Uh...Um, well...Wait, where is this coming from? Gintoki?" 

Gintoki had seen that most people were put off by his naturally wavy hair. It didn't seem like such a big deal, but Gintoki's constantly blamed his hair as to why women weren't attracted to him at first glance. But Hijikata wasn't bothered by it, yet he kissed him twice as if he was just the tiniest bit attracted to Gintoki? Seemed that way, but not by appearance? Those few moments got Gintoki thinking about his previous question from the previous night. Why did Hijikata kiss Gintoki? Clearly he didn't care about his look, saying that he didn't care about Gintoki's obnoxious hair. And also because he once pointed out that Gintoki's eyes were shiny up close, then came the kiss. So, what the hell? Despite the arguments and fights, did Hijikata like Gintoki's personality or something? 

"Gintoki...?" Gintoki had spaced-out for a moment, his mind snapping back once Hijikata's voice reached him.

"Eh? Oh, uh...Um...". 

It couldn't have just been for a lame reason like "I thought you liked me, Gintoki". No. Hijikata, knowing him, would still have pushed Gintoki away if he hated him so much. There was something else, wasn't there? Something Hijikata had not mentioned. Something...he hid from Gintoki. 

"...? What are you boys doing under there?" Pop's wife surprised them both, looking under the table to see both Hijikata and Gintoki in a rather awkward position. It wasn't worth explaining, though. 

"N-nothing, Granny. Give us a minute to get up and we'll be outta your hair". Gintoki answered with a steady voice, although his resolve had quivered within. There was no real way around this question, was there? 

... 

"Huh? Are you still asking about this? I thought we put this behind us". 

Once outside, Gintoki had asked the question that had been on his mind. "Why did Hijikata go through with those two kisses?" 

"Look, I thought so too, but this is driving me crazy, Hijikata. You can't have kissed me twice without a better reason than the one you gave me--come on". 

"Th-that's because yoo drew me in! You-". 

"Ah-ah-ahh...I believe, Hijikata, the second time we kissed, you took the lead". 

"...! I...Why are you dwelling on this, anyway?! Weren't we supposed to be getting back to normality?!" 

"Yes, we were. But I can't get back to normality without answers! It'll drive me nuts if I don't know. You would have had some reason to do it without pushing me away--so why did you do it? Tell me". 

"We're not discussing this. End of story". 

Hijikata was prepared to walk on ahead and leave Gintoki without answers. But, Gintoki was unusually persistant about this. It was the first time he had ever felt so strongly about such an unusual, but intimate, incedent that happened. They didn't happen often, and it wasn't everyday that Gintoki felt more of a connection to someone when it didn't involve meaningless sex. If this was the real deal, he had to be sure before he could move on from it. 

"Hijikata...". Gintoki called out, but this didn't necessarily stop Hijikata in his tracks. "You would have invited me out here for a good reason, right? It's not just because you wanted to see how things went in order to get back to normality, right? You wanted to test yourself, didn't you?" 

At those words, Hijikata stopped at an arm's length from Gintoki at his surprise. He turned around to Gintoki, collected and as composed as he could manage. 

"What do you mean?" He asked, as if it wasn't clear to him. 

"I'm saying that...you kissed me, without pushing me away, for other reasons". 

Hijikata tensed up under Gintoki's gaze. He didn't know exactly what to say to that. 

"I don't know what you're talking about. There are no other reasons. I thought you liked me, that's the end of it". 

"Then how come you kissed me a second time? And, you were the one to take control then, weren't you?"

Hijikata felt himself being pulled into a tight spot. It was hard to give a good explaination for such actions, one that he couldn't put into words, at least. He felt that Gintoki had caught onto something that Hijikata didn't truely understand himself. So... 

"What, do you think I'm the one who likes you now?" He might as well come out and question it. Gintoki smiled softly in response. 

"I didn't say that, did I?" 

"But you're hinting it. Gintoki, we've already established this: we are not a good match. I don't like you that way, and you don't like me that way either". 

"But you must like some things about me, for you to go so far as invite me out on a date". 

If he wasn't caught off guard before, he was now. He wasn't sure how to respond to those words. 

"If you're going as far as to tell me this...you must like some things about me as well, otherwise you would just drop this nonsense". 

"It's not nonsense. If you at least like some things about me, then just come out and say it". 

"Why...?" Hijikata suddenly questioned, his tone raised just a little in his mix of emotions. "Weren't you against this whole thing in the first place? I'm sure you hate me just as much, so why are you so insistant?" 

"...". 

There was silence, Gintoki's smile disappearing. He didn't really want to admit it himself, but as the one who brought this up in the first place, he decided to take responsibility. 

"I...I don't like you, Hijikata". He said, calmly--but not coldly. "I just...Over these past few days, I've found that I like certain things about you". 

This, on its own, peaked Hijikata's interest a little. Gintoki has a temper that's just as short as Hijikata's when it came to the other's personality and traits. So, what could Gintoki possibly like about Hijikata? 

"What? What is it that you like about me that made you kiss me...twice?" 

Here goes nothing. Gintoki was preparing to swallow his pride for this, to a guy whom he had hated ever since they first met. But Gintoki had the notion that these past few days had changed something in them--or at least made them look in a whole other perspective towards eachother. Tonight, Hijikata wanted to test that--to test his feelings towards Gintoki, to see if they got along and if he felt the same spark from the previous times. In this situation, Gintoki was prepared to test himself as well. Although he wasn't attracted to men, and although he and Hijikata were a terrible match, Gintoki wanted to see if he could feel the same spark by discluding the bad things from Hijikata and only look at the good aspects of him. 

"I guess, first off, you, uh...You're a good listener". 

"That all?" 

"N-no, gimme a minute. Uhh...I guess...you're smart, dedicated to your work and are very loyal to the better people. I can respect those things". 

"You respect them, it's not as if you necessarily like those things". 

"You're strong willed, very caring of those closest to you--even the sadist". Gintoki approuched Hijikata at this, describing the things that he liked about Hijikata. "You have a good way with words and, well, you're...the first guy to ever make my heart pound like crazy". 

It really was a challenge to admit those things, but Gintoki was taking a firm grasp on the responsibility. He just hoped that Hijikata would do the same. Hijikata relaxed a little, lowered his defenses as Gintoki was close enough to see the light blush that had formed. 

"Hijikata, I'm not attracted to men. I'm not even really attracted to you. But, there are things about you that taught ke to like you the tiniest bit. Things that led me to kiss you twice. See?" 

Hijikata hesitated to respond, his manner of maintaining composure faltering before Gintoki's eyes. Hijikata, in turn, swallowed his own pride in order to respond with his own honest feelings about this--about Gintoki. 

"You know, it's funny". Hijikata finally spoke, his chest already tightening from the crushing situation before him. "All those things that you said you liked about me...I...They're the things I like about you, too". 

Gintoki's eyes widened. Here they were again, on the brink of losing themselves to eachother from such an unfamiliar moment. Neither of them had really experienced romance before. Honestly, the one who came closest was Hijikata...although it never came to be. To fall into the same pit again seemed to not be ideal for him, yet for some reason he found himself drawn to Gintoki in a way that he never thought would happen. It seemed impossible before. But now...Now it seemed clear to him just how fast his heart was pounding. 

"Uh, i-it's getting late. We should head back to the apartments and end this...d-date, alright?" Hijikata broke away from this moment, taking Gintoki with him. 

"R-right, yeah, of course. Let's...go then". 

It would be better not to start kissing in public again, if that's what they planned on. Since this street was a little more populated now, they decided mutally to leave. Still, they walked closely side-by-side with no arguments. The silence gave them time to think about how this date would actually end. 

... 

They took out their keys, ready to enter their own apartments. However, it was only right to stop and say their goodbyes for the evening, time to get out of the awkward loop. 

"Gintoki, hold up". 

They turned to face eachother at Hijikata's sudden call, who gripped his keys firmly. 

"What is it?" 

"I, uh...I was just thinking; there's...There's really nothing wrong with your natural perm. The obnoxious colour just pisses me off sometimes". 

"Huh? How come you're bringing this up now?" 

"Well, I just thought about it because I think that...the only reason that women aren't attracted to you is because they judge you too quickly. I...judged you quickly. I mean, there are still things in your faltered personality that piss me off, but you're...not a bad guy...and you're not bad to look at, either". 

"...? Hah, same to you A-shape fringe". 

They both shared a soft chuckle, the silence eventually fading in again. They gave eachother a sweet look that made them both feel a little nervous, but also quite settled in eachother's company. 

"Gintoki, despite how defensive I was earlier, I did actually, er, have fun tonight. Maybe...uh...well...". 

"Maybe we could do it again?" Gintoki finished for him, his heart thumping in his chest. 

"Uh-yeah...Yeah...Maybe...". 

These brief moments of silence could only be broken by a swift goodbye. However, tonight..."it' wasn't escapable. The two men moved into eachother gently, tilting their heads-once close enough-and meeting at the lips in a soft kiss. It wasn't heated or passionate. It was a simple kiss, soft and meaningful to end the evening. Once parted, then came the swift goodbye that, this time, wasn't so swift. 

"I'll...see you later, Gintoki". 

"Y-yeah, see ya, Hijikata". They entered their own apartments, silence once again filling the hallway whereas the tension of these gentlmen only grew. 

Hijikata took a deep breath to relax himself. Three times...They had kissed three times now, which was unbelievable. Hijikata took a moment to breath in and out carefully in order to rid himself of his anxiety. He had a strong feeling that three kisses were not the end of it. They would see eachother again...That seemed clear. For such a thing to happen over a few little days, was the second most unbelievable part of this. What was the most unbelievable, was that Hijikata did want to see Gintoki again. Testing himself to see if he had the same feelings as when they first had drinks together and kissed ended up being the exact same. He could only bury his face in his hands in disbelief as his whole world seemed to be changing rapidly. He was losing his composure to Gintoki. Even so, no matter his pride and measured personality, he couldn't help but think that losing such composure and standing towards Gintoki, and only Gintoki, wasn't such a terrible thing...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for reading, everyone. Oh, and before I forget, I actually want to come up with an appropriate name for the publisher's office, but nothing's coming to mind. I'll work on it so that I don't keep repeating myself by refering to it as the "publisher's office". Okay, bye.


	6. The Title "Close Friend" Is Confusing As Hell. Look It Up. Seriously.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we're back. This chapter will just be something other than Hijigin romance. It's just some other character stuff that I wanted to do so...here you are. Hope it's just as enjoyable as the Ginhiji stuff/fluff.

The pain...It wouldn't stop. It was near impossible to tell the blood from the tears as the frantic situation unfolded so quickly, too quickly. The anger, and the sadness, and the loss piled up all at once as a dark shade of red and ominus grey filled the sky. It hurt so much, and nothing could take the pain away. The memories and the guilt would continue to loop in endless circles as the hatred continued to boil up inside. That face...He didn't want to see that face in such a dire situation...

("Sensei...!") 

The cries...They were haunting. The hatred...The burning hatred...All scalded in the back of Takasugi's eyelid...He could never forget...He didn't want to get the last thing he saw that night, the last thing burned into his left eye, among other things... 

("...Gintoki, you-...")

... 

"Haah!...Haa...! Haa...". 

Reality had finally surfaced, as if suddenly coming up from drowning in a deep river. Takasugi gripped his sheets tightly upon awakening, but sat up to catch his breath--almost suffocated. A cold sweat covered his back and his left eye stung from, what he hated to admit to be, tears that somehow escaped. He cringed, the sensation painful and near to unbearable. "Just a nightmare", he thought, his nerves easing a little. However, he was fully aware that such a nightmare had already took place a long time ago, still haunting him to that day. He trembled at the thought, the heat of anxiety covering his body in a cold sweat. The pain in his back returned. He must have been restless...again. It hurt his pride to think that he could still feel so terrified after a nightmare. But he could not feel relieved that it was just that-a nightmare. Takasugi's breathing eased, a calmer feeling overcoming him-even in the darkness of his room. 

He had never been so restless in...well, quite a few years. Once he realised the nightmares stopped long ago, Takasugi felt more at ease and knew he couldn't falter around his arch enemy, Gintoki Sakata. Now that the nightmares, the horrors, the expressions had come back in his dreams, he wondered if the images would be more clear upon meeting Gintoki. He wondered if he would not falter, and make the same serious face that he always does around Takasugi. At least when they meet, which has become a very rare occurance. He would have laughed, seeing as he specialised in horror novels yet he became to afraid of his past nightmares. The fact that it was still in the past and still stuck in the deepest part of his memories was what held back the laughter. He wished he could treat it as a joke, but such a thing could not succeed. He took a breath, wiped away the moisture from his eyes and composed himself. Although he was alone in the room, he hated to be shaken up like that. It was better to get rid of the waterworks before going to clean up, since he was too hot to sleep. Takasugi knew he needed to clear his head and hope walking around outside wouldn't wake Bansai up. He doubted it anyway since Bansai sleeps like a rock. Living with him for so long, he knows that much. 

... 

The tapping of Takasugi's footsteps along cool hardwood floors was the only sound throughout the apartment, at first. After exiting the bathroom, wearing a yukata, with his hair still wet and the scent of shampoo filling the air around him, came the soft sound of shamisen strings being played from below the upstairs hallway. It wasn't a long distance, and the living room could be seen from above. Obviously, Bansai was awake. Takasugi peered down from upstairs, seeing his editor sit on the floor comfortably with the instrument in hand. He sighed, curious as to why he was up in the first place. He took the chance to head down the brief stairway, the floorboards creaking beneath Takasugi's bare feet as he made his way towards Bansai. For a moment, Takasugi stood by Bansai as he continued to play with the strings, tuning the instrument every so often without so much as glancing up at Takasugi. He knew he was there, but took his sweet time to speak up.

"Restless night?" 

Bansai asked in Takasugi's place, still keeping his eyes on the neck of the shamisen as he tuned it perfectly. At least, he was still wearing those sunglasses that shrouded his eyes away from everyone else. 

"I was about to ask something similar of you. You're usually asleep right now". 

"Well, it is nearly three in the morning. I couldn't get enough sleep, so I thought I would get some practice in. Here, sit with me if you'd like". 

Takasugi saw little choice in the matter since he was still a little restless. It couldn't hurt, as Bansai had proven many times in the past that he was good company for Takasugi. He didn't really drink with him, but they still held a good relationship through conversation, work and the occasional shamisen duet. Takasugi steadily sat on the floor beside Bansai, leaning his back to the sofa behind them comfortably as possible. Then came a deep breath and a deeper sigh that set the atmoshpere in a calm place. Bansai sighed too, the action seemingly contageous. His tuning stopped, and his playing came to a halt. 

"Your eye is all red". Bansai pointed out shamelessly, unintentionally making Takasugi feel more conscious of it. 

"And...?" Takasugi replied, shifting his head in a direction so that Bansai had no sight of his eye. 

"...It's nothing. Excuse me for pointing it out". 

"Hah, you're quite shameless with your words, aren't you?" 

"I wouldn't put it that way. I suppose I'm just a little concerned. You've been working really hard-too hard if you ask me. That's why you seem so tense recently". 

"I'm...I'm not tense". Takasugi answered hesitently, knowing that was partly true. "I'm fine". 

"Oh, really?" Bansai question, suddenly pressing his hand very gently to Takasugi's stomach. "You've lost weight again".

"Agh, why are you so doting anyway? It's just my job...You usually leave me to it". 

"Well, if you died, I'd have to find a different author to work with. Doing that isn't exactly ideal". 

"Why not?" 

Bansai hesitated for a brief time, his thoughts wandering for the right answer to that question. Honestly, there was no real way around it. Besides, Bansai never lied to Takasugi. Ever. 

"It's because I enjoy working with you, Shinsuke. I enjoy my music, but working with you is pleasant. Although, I think the biggest pain I have to deal with is Matako". 

Takasugi surprisingly let out a soft chuckle at that. Hearing him laugh was rare. Despite his smug smirks, Takasugi never really laughed from humor or small jokes. So Bansai found it endearing on the extremely rare occasions that Takasugi even let out so much as a snicker. 

"She can be quite troublesome to a certain extent, yes. However, you are all equally reliable. The only difference is that I consider you as a close friend, Bansai". 

"Yeah, that's true". 

"I mean, you're honest, measured and so far you're the one person who hasn't...". Takasugi's words trailed off into silence, his hesitance catching Bansai's attention. 

He wished to end that sentence with "...the one person who hasn't hurt me, or betrayed my trust". These were both true, of course. It was just painful to think about the moments in which he was scarred by those he once called "friends". Narrowing it down far enough, Bansai seemed to be Takasugi's only...friend. He tensed up, disliking the feelings he received from such a thought. The way he was, he thought that he didn't need friends, just allies. So, when was it that he began to consider Bansai as a friend? He said it: he just couldn't recall when he first felt that way. It had been such a long time since he had such a feeling. 

("Oi, Takasugi, you're it") 

When was the last time... 

("That isn't fair! Zura was closer! Why didn't you tag him?!") 

Such a feeling...He thought that... 

("It's not Zura, it's Katsura!") 

("Whatever...Gin-san is top dog when it comes to tag"). 

("Yeah, right!") 

He thought that this feeling no longer existed within...That it was just... 

("One day you'll get better at catching me, Takasugi. You just have to man up. I'll teach ya if ya want. We're friends, after all hahaha") 

Emptiness... 

"Shinsuke? Shinsuke". 

Takasugi quickly snapped out of his daydream, not looking at Bansai directly. He composed himself quickly in front of Bansai, taking an almost quivering breath before swallowing his shame away. 

"What is it?" He asked simply, as if nothing was wrong. Bansai hesitated, seeing as Takasugi wouldn't answer honestly in order to protect certain things. He understood that perfectly. 

"...Your hair is still wet. Here, may I?" 

Bansai leaned his shamisen against the sofa, crawling up closer to Takasugi. Takasugi didn't protest or push Bansai away as he kneeled in front of him, taking the towel over Takasugi's shoulder in hand. It felt a little damp from usage, but it would be fine to get rid of the cold droplets that slid down Takasugi's bangs. He didn't look directly at Bansai as his hair was dried, surprised by his gentle touch. The silence had made the situation seem more awkward and uncomfortable on Takasugi's part. But once he felt the warmth of Bansai's hand brush against his cheek, he instinctively leaned into that warmth, soon more conscious of the cold temperature of his own skin. Bansai didn't retract his hand, nor did he speak a single word as he watched Takasugi behave so unusually-at least, it was unusual for his type of character. Perhaps it was the nightmare that influenced such behaviour, or maybe it was just having Bansai's company all to himself. Maybe it was indeed both that led Takasugi to look directly at Bansai within a single moment. It was then that he realised his own strange actions. He, himself, retracted Bansai's hand from his face and cleared his throat. 

"Ahem...Excuse me, Bansai. I don't know what came over me just then". He apologised, lowering his head. 

Bansai was still quiet, not a word passing his lips. Takasugi never let go of Bansai's hand, although his grip was very light as if he wanted to let go-but hesitated. The moment seemed right, yet the temptation an oddity in Bansai's eyes as he stared blankly at Takasugi. Either his boss was self conscious of his sudden affetionate actions or he was simply uncomfortable. Bansai was puzzled by his own feelings, seeing Takasugi in a way that seemed so new to him. A glimmer of what we call "human". His embarrassment, uncomfortability and his awkwardness all coming to the surface from such a small action as leaning in for Bansai's warm touch. The moment, then, seemed right.It was...strange for Bansai to, out of nowhere, lean in to Takasugi and very tenderly press his lips to his in one heart-throbbing moment. The sensation was soft, warm, but uncomfortable for Takasugi as his mind went blank. Bansai wasn't sure himself as to why he was pulled into such an action. Takasugi, however, didn't act defensive, but still gently pushed Bansai away in both puzzlement and from being a little self-conscious. 

"Eh...What...Do you mind explaining what that was about just now?" Takasugi asked, trying his best to act firm about Bansai's actions. So far, that didn't seem to be working.

"It's...Well, I don't have much of an excuse, Shinsuke. Just the heat of the moment, I suppose". 

"...". 

"If you hated it that much, then I am truely sorry. I wasn't exactly thinking straight". 

"That's...unlike you". Takasugi simply responded, their eyes still not meeting in the middle. 

"I, er...". Bansai began, clearing his throat as he was on the edge of standing up. "I should head back and get a few more hours rest. Excuse me, Shinsuke". 

Just as Bansai made his attempt in standing up, he suddenly felt a tight grip on his shirt sleeve. The situation seemed to be getting all the more unusual by the minute. 

"I...". Takasugi muttered, his eyes still staring at the ground and off to the side. "I...I didn't hate it...I just...I never expected you to...so suddenly...?" 

Bansai grasped Takasugi's chin, raising his head gently until their gazes finally met. It wasn't for another few short seconds until Bansai brushed his knuckles over Takasugi's cool skin, pushing away the strands of hair that hung over his bandage-damp and loose. It was within a cold chill that past Takasugi by, for a second, that led to Bansai leaning in once more and pressing his lips softly to Takasugi's. Their hearts throbbed simultaneously, althought neither could be heard. The moment just pushed them together this way, out of almost nothing but a few words and a glimpse of Takasugi's more "human" side as he looked back on old scars. Bansai couldn't help but wonder what the purpose of showing such intimate affection was. They were both men, simply collegues and good friends. So why a kiss of all things? It made nearly no sense as a way of keeping Takasugi away from such thoughts, but it felt right, somehow. It made Takaugi feel just the tiniest bit better. He wouldn't admit it, nor would he reflect on this moment as something between he and Bansai. But, while it lasted, he had to at least admit that his heart felt a little lighter, that the scars seemed to have faded for just the smallest amount of time. The fact that it was Bansai made it a little easier, even if he was a man, even if...they were just friends...Takasugi's only friend... 

... 

It was in the office of Isao Kondo that began Sarutobi's column on the Tokyo police force. Of course, it was a bother to write about such things since it was rumored that the "Shinsengumi", as they were called, were fuck-ups in quite a few humorous occassions. That's why her boss assigned her to write the column specifically. To be frank, she didn't take pride in exploiting people-especially those in service to the government, since it could only lead to bad things. She prefered being the one who was exploited. She almost was, nearly receiving the brand name "stalker" on her name plate at her desk. That, as she believed, was totally incorrect. The fact that she was "looking out for" an author would have made things a lot worse if he didn't keep his identity a secret. Anyway, she was first brought into the office of the Shinsengumi's chief. From seeing him in public, it wouldn't be a surprise if his name plate was brand named "stalker". It wasn't. What a shame.

"So, my first question: is it true you're stalking my good friend, Otae Shimura, bastard?" 

"Oi, it's not stalking! And that isn't even a proper question!" 

"Next: are you ever gonna leave her alone?" 

"This isn't an interview anymore!-it's an interrogation! It's only been two minutes since you came in here!" 

"Fine, fine. I'll ask real questions. God, you stalkers are always so defensive".

"You're a stalker! I'm surprised that Gin-san hasn't filed a report yet!" 

"Gin-san would never do that! I'm no stalker, I just...watch over him and care anout him and have the dream that one day I could climb onto his balcony and smell his laundry". 

"That makes you a stalker! I would never smell Otae-chan's laundry-she's a lady, after all. If anything, I'd want to smell her hair at least once". 

"That's too close, ya creep! How the hell are you chief commander of this place?!" 

Whenever these two met it would always end up in an argument about who's the biggest, creepiest stalker. Of course, neither of them would admit to having such a name. How could such a thing happen so early in the morning? Sarutobi sat back in her chair, crossing over her legs, notepad in hand. It was blank as of that moment, but she did intend to get some real content for her upcoming column. The payment had better been worth the trouble. 

"So, Kondo-san, do you wanna first tell me about your team? I know you have a particular group of people who do particular work around here. Mind telling me about them?" 

"Oh, yeah, sure. First of all, there's me: I'm in charge of everyone here. It's my sworn duty to protect, not only the citizens of Tokyo, but my commrades as well. They're all very skilled at their job and, well, are like a family. There's Toshi, who is our vice-chief. I allowed him such a position since we are quite close and because I know he is extremely capable at his job. He handles the men well and is greatly respected as a member of our community. If you'd like to follow me, I can show you". 

"Okay, then. Seeing it for myself could make good reference material". 

They both stood from their chairs, Kondo leading Sarutobi out of the office and into the main offices, containing many desks and cubicles assigned to the many members of police. It was well organised and everyone seemed to be working at their stations efficiently. So far so good. No exploitation neccessary for the most part. Sarutobi was still quite curious as to see their vice-chief in action. From rumors, Sarutobi had heard he was known infamously as "The Demonic Vice-Chief" for his short temper and firm hand towards law-breakers and even his own collegues. In other words, he was something to be feared. Walking around the main offices, Kondo seemed to know where he was going-as if knowing where the vice chief would be exactly. Through the cubicles and the members of the police, came the break room. Sarutobi was puzzled, but curious all the same. 

"Here we are, this is where you can find Toshi this early in the morning. Just getting his dose of coffee before getting straight to work, right, Toshi?" 

And there he was: the Demonic Vice Chief, Toushiro Hijikata. He didn't look very demonic as he prepared a simple cup of coffee. His eyes darted towards the front door, seeing his boss and a woman, who he recognised, standing and watching him as if studying him. 

"Uh, Kondo-san, I have those reports you asked for. They're on my desk". 

"Oh, yeah, thanks, Toshi. I can always rely on you". 

"Sure...I'm glad". 

"You said that you two were close...". Sarutobi stepped in, adjusting her glasses as her eyes narrowed. "But are you..."that" close?" 

"No...!" Hijikata suddenly yelled, his light blush unseen due to the unflattering light of the breakroom. "I'm not into men! Don't go around assuming that! Okay?! Gintoki-uh...I mean, Kondo-san and I are just friends! End of story!" 

Kondo and Sarutobi were both surprised by the sudden wall that Hijikata put up around himself in haste. So defensive, over something that Sarutobi really didn't mean. She could've swore that she heard Gintoki's name among all that rambling. Maybe not? Maybe she just loved him to such an extent that she could randomly hear his name over someone else's. She wanted to believe that, at least. 

"Right~, o-kay. Um, so, Vice Chief, would you mind talking about your job for my column? I promise not to bad-mouth you if you're honest". 

"Honesty is usually what gets people into those messes. Haah, fine. My job is just as important as the Chief's. If Kondo-san isn't around, that immediatly puts me in charge. This place is considered our home, and these men are like family. It's our duty to protect both. That's just human nature, after all".

Sarutobi quickly took note of that quote, feeling that it would make them look good in her column. It would certainly warm the public's hearts, knowing that a guy like the demon vice chief was saying it. It give them a good perspective about him. 

"See, Toshi is considered the brains of the police department. You can always rely on him. He has an open mind and is one of our most respected members. So ignore what anyone else says. He's just quite strict, but not weird or odd at all". 

"Oi, Kondo-san...". Hijikata caught their attention once more, Sarutobi's eyes suddenly growing wide with disgust. "Do we have anymore mayo?" 

Hijikata asked this question as he held his coffee cup, filled to the brim with mayonnaise. In his other hand, an already empty bottle of the stuff. He looked so casual about it too! Not weird?! To hell with that! Now that Kondo said it-it looked like he emphasised the "not weird" part! 

"Ahh, Toshi, you're allowed your own preferences, but could you not bring mayo into this with a reporter in the room?" Even he was disappointed! 

"Why not? Mayonnaise is almighty. It goes with everything". That attitude doesn't help at alllllll! 

"Er...Wh-why don't we move on? I still have to show you a lot more. K-keep up the good work, Toshi". 

"Got it, Kondo-san". 

Kondo and Sarutobi left the break room immediatly, Kondo probably feeling the tiniest bit disheartened by Hijikata-san's weird addiction. It wasn't something bad, just really weird. 

"So, anyway, everyone here is a strong individual-in body and mind. One good example is Yamazaki, one of our top collegues. He's good at what he does, even if he isn't originally given a lot of credit. No matter what challenge is ahead, he can definitely see it through and come out just as focused". 

A short walk from the break room led them both to wander towards the vending machines stationed near the break room. That's where they found Yamazaki...unfortunately. 

"Anpan, anpan, anpan, anpan...". He muttered. 

Before Kondo and Sarutobi stood Sagaru Yamazaki, the Shinsengumi's spy, endlessly clicking the vending machine's code to dispense packet after packet of anpan. His eyes stared blankly through the glass, even if all the anpan within the vending machine lay at his feet. It was a true horror to witness, but not the worst of it. 

"Anpananpananpananpan...Haaaaa...Which one of you bastards emptied the vending machine of anpan?! I'll fucking kill you! I will sue this goddamn office of all it's anpan-I swear I will!" 

Yamazaki suddenly yelled, tossing the anpan from the floor at his collegues. He just bought all the goddamn anpan! Saying that would probably cause him to have a mental breakdown-worse than he was having now-but still! 

"...". 

"...". 

"Miss Sarutobi, let's just move on". 

"Good plan...". 

They both slowly and carefully walked away as to quietly avoid Yamazaki's anpan rage. He needed help...Serious help. 

"W-well, we also have some good apprentices, learning about the way we do things. One of our more skilled apprentices thus far is our oldest, Sougo. He learns fast and is very intelligent. Plus, he get along with the other officers. I think he could serve as a squad captain someday". 

"Hi-ji-ka-ta-saaaan...". 

Suddenly, a voice came up from the entrance of the breakroom. Hijikata was exiting when all of a sudden a boy around college age with a baby face and a blank look approuched from behind. Hijikata had no time to react at the call of his name as Sougo suddenly jump on his back, wrapping his arms tightly around his neck. 

"Ack! S-Sougo! The he-ack!" 

"See, Hijikata? I'm practicing what you showed me: how to subdue a "bad guy". I'm doing it. Am I doing it?" 

"Sou-gh! S-sto-ungh! Ca-an't...breathe! Son of a-gah!" 

That wasn't subduing! It was strangling! Why wasn't anyone doing anything?! Did they hate their vice chief or something?! Or were they all convinced that this was training?! Hijikata managed to grab hold of Sougo, effectively throwing him over his shoulder and stopping him from killing him. Hijikata coughed, gasping sharply before panting heavily. 

"Haa...Haa...Sougo...You little-". 

"What, it was training". Sougo looked up at Hijikata from the floor with a smug look on his face. "Shame I didn't kill you by accident". 

"You little shit! Ah! Hey!" 

Okita rolled over swiftly, getting up immediatly before dashing away from Hijikata. He wasn't hesitating. 

"Asshole! Get back here!" And Hijikata chased after him in anger. 

Kondo turned to Sarutobi hesitently, unable to put on an honest smile due to the circumstances. 

"Did you...want to see anymore?" He asked, truely disheartened. 

"No, I'm good...". Sarutobi muttered in a brief reply, wondering what the hell she was suppose to put in her column now. 

... 

Kyuubei sighed deeply, the space left for her a lot wider than expected. She could breathe properly. Sure, she was embarrassed but she wanted to take Otae's advice in the end. It was difficult, having to use a pair of scissors to carefully remove the binder around her chest. Now that it was off, she felt more conscious of the uncomfortability that it caused her every single day. She saw no purpose in wearing it, other than to cover something that she thought didn't belong there. Kyuubei thought long and hard about it until she came to the conclusion that she may not identify as anything. There were two things-and two things only-that seemed clear to her: she was physically female, but her way of thinking and acting were close to that of a male's, aside from a few femine traits. With those in mind, sexuality and who she was seemed so unclear. All she knew, from talking to Otae, was that she shouldn't make things hard for herself. She shouldn't have to feel so caged up by gender or sexuality. To Otae, she was simply "Kyuu-chan". In a way, that made her feel happier. It made her feel comfortable.

"Kyuu-chan, can I come in now? Have you put on the bra yet?" 

Kyuubei snapped out of her thoughts, her face warming up immensly at those words from behind Otae's bedroom door. She hurridly picked up the simple white bra that Otae kindly bought for her, out of consideration. Kyuubei had never worn one before, but Otae briefly explained how to put it on. She said it would be more comfortable than a binder. Kyuubei wanted to believe that it wouldn't make her feel any different and that it was just more comfortable and less painful to wear. Fingers shaking, she just managed to clip the straps before hurridly pulling a t-shirt on to cover herself. She sighed once that disaster was over, relieved. 

"Y-yeah, Tae-chan, it's, uh...o-on. But I'm wearing a t-shirt since...you know...". 

"Then may I come in?" 

"Uh-huh, come in". 

Otae entered, looking over Kyuubei for a moment before sitting and bringing herself into a cosy kneeling position beside her best friend. They shared a smile, Kyuubei's seemingly more shy than Otae's. 

"See? Doesn't that feel better? More comfortable, right?" 

"Y-yes, much more comfortable. But...won't people at school stare? I mean, you can see the outline, right?" 

Kyuubei had never actually seen her breasts before-not even the outline of the clothing or anything. She felt wrong before, but this felt a lot better, surprisingly. The amount of times she didn't stop to look in the mirror after bathing or when changing was uncountable. But, Otae pulled Kyuubei away from that-if only by the smallest baby step. Resting her hands on Kyuubei's shoulders, the sweetness in her smile brought back the sweetness in Kyuubei's. It never failed. 

"Don't worry about it". Otae was reassuring..."Even if you're a little embarrassed, it's okay. Do you know how embarrassing it was to walk up to a female store clerk with this size C bra? She looked at my chest and then gave me a funny look. I would've knocked her out if the queue behind me wasn't so big". 

"Hehe...". Kyuubei giggled sweetly, like she hadn't in quite a while. 

Otae wrapped her arms around Kyuubei in a friendly hug, the bruises around Kyuubei's side ignored as there was no pain. Even if there was, it was easily replaced by the warmth of Otae's embrace. 

"Kyuu-chan, don't worry, alright? No one's gonna say anything if I'm involved. You can just be you from now on, okay?"

"Alright. Thank you so much, Tae-chan". 

"Anytime. If you'd like, we could go clothes shopping today. We can buy more bras for you since I now know your size. Sound okay?" 

"Yeah, but...I am kinda embarrassed". 

"That's okay. We all were once. It's really no big deal after a while, you get used to it. And...it doesn't matter if you're a man or a woman. Due to the circumstances, or your feelings, for now you'fe simply "Kyuu-chan". That's who you are. Whatever you feel in the end, however, I'll support you". 

Kyuubei had never had such a kind friend before. When she was younger, she barely remembered having any friends. Otae was the only one for the longest time. And for the longest time, Kyuubei had considered Otae to be, quote on quote, "the balls between her legs". At the time, she was stronger in body and will compared to Kyuubei. That was the motivation for Kyuubei to grow stronger, that and their friendship. Yet now it seemed clear that Otae was still proving to be support for Kyuubei, even if that was just emotional support. No...It was "just" emotional support. Otae was practically saving Kyuubei's life. 

"Now, who's ticklish?" 

"Wha-ah?! W-woah! T-Tae-cha-waaah! Ha-hahaha! C-cut it out~! Hahahaha!" 

Otae began ruthlessly tickling her best friend breathless. Out of fun, of course. It was a joy to hear Kyuubei laugh, even if it was forced out by tickling her. 

"Haha-hahaha! I'm-I'm serious, cut it out! Ghahaha! I'm gonna die!" 

Otae stopped, leaving Kyuubei clutching her sides as she panted-smiling still. Otae giggled, standing to her feet and reaching her hand out to Kyuubei. 

"C'mon. You wanna go shopping now? We could go to the café you like later on". 

Kyuubei looked up at Otae, not hesitating to take her hand to hoist herself up onto her feet. 

"Sure. Sounds fun". 

Kyuubei hoped nothing would change between her and Otae, that their friendship would remain strong until adulthood. Once before, Kyuubei felt love towards Otae-romantic love. It was something she knew couldn't be possible if she was a woman, but knowing that times had changed dramatically, she once thought that it would be alright to fall in love with Otae and hope they could be together forever. Things don't work out that way, though. Knowing Otae for so long, Kyuubei knew that her good friend wouldn't feel the same way. Otae wanted to fall in love with a man, get married, have children...With that in mind, Kyuubei didn't want to interfere. She seemed happy as a friend and nothing more. She wished she could be happy that way. However, Otae's kindness sunk deeper within Kyuubei's heart more than what was realised. She knew that, deep down, she still wanted to be more than just a friend. She knew that this feeling deep inside was love. It was hard to keep that at the back of her mind as many other thoughts passed by. Thoughts such as; "I won't let my feelings get in the way", or; "I just want Tae-chan to be happy". It was these thoughts that kept Kyuubei from admitting the truth to herself. And that...Well, she had to be okay with that. She wanted to be okay with that... 

... 

The rain had began during the afternoon, a cold air sweeping through the streets and passing throuh those who had not been fully prepared for it. It wasn't even the rain season yet, being only April. The sky was cloudy and the fog drifting in from the far distance. It was a nice distraction from work. At least it was for Takasugi. He sat at his desk, staring out of the wide window before him as his laptop gradually went to sleep from neglect. It seemed like a good opportunity to smoke and take it easy after doing the majority of his work thus far. He reclined in his leather chair, takking a deep breath as his thoughts seemed to wander. At least, he thought they could wander. However, the same thing appeared and seemed put a full stop on every other thought. For some reason his mind's eye always came back to his kiss with Bansai. He felt...odd thinking about it so many times-and so vividly as well. Thinking about it now, he had no idea what came over him.

He reclined further back in his chair until he was staring up at the plain, white ceiling of his study. He stretched his legs out as far as possible, pushing his chair away from the desk, just a little, until there was enough room to carelessly, and slowly, spin his chair as his thoughts wandered and overlapped with the same mental image over and over, going around in circles. He knew nothing about such intimate feelings and sensations. He experienced them, but never felt such intimacy or closeness from them. Was it because Bansai was a man? A friend? A new experience? There were several possibilities that could easily be wrapped into one. But no matter what the feeling was, or why he felt it, Takasugi couldn't stop the weird tingling across his arms and legs. Goosebumps. Why the hell did he have to get goosebumps over Bansai? The more vivid the image became in his head, the more he shuddered with god knows what. Disturbance? Regret?...Embarrassment? He groaned, rubbing his good eye with the back of his hand. He thought for a moment that the stress of work was getting to him again, but this was more a feeling of anxiety and curiousity combined. He didn't feel so stressed upon remembering the kiss. Whenever the memory of how soft Bansai's lips were or the warmth around his cheeks came up there was always that same shudder to run through his ribcage like electricity running through a current. This feeling, in particular...It wasn't physical. It was totally new. 

From the study, through the silence throughout the entire apartment, Takasugi heard the distance noise that was the front entrance door opening and shutting after several seconds. Bansai...Takasugi took a deep breath. No point avoiding him. They lived together. No point being awkward about things. They were both adults. No point bringing up the kiss from last night. They would really be awkward in that case. Takasugi sat up, listening to the footsteps creaking on the other side of the door. Bansai's voice emitted from the hallway. 

("Shinsuke, you here?") 

"In the study". Takasugi simply called out, collecting his composure back up. 

The door to the study opened, and there stood Bansai with a towel slung over his shoulder to dry his hair. 

"Welcome back". Takasugi greeted him, trying his hardest to look directly at him without thinking about "it". 

"Afternoon. You nearly finish your work?" 

"It's half done. I'm just...finishing off now". 

"Okay...If you're cold, there's a blanket over the sofa. The rain outside is pretty chilly". 

"Thanks, but I'm fine". 

Bansai nodded, hesitating for a short amount of time before speaking up again. It really was awkward. Too awkward for two fully grown-male-adults. How could this situation be tackled, though? God knows... 

"Uh...Shinsuke, can I talk to you for a second?" Here it comes. 

"Of course. Is this about...?" 

"Last night...yeah". 

"...Alright. Come in, then".

They were both rather skeptical about going into this conversation, but there was no point beating around the bush. If Bansai had something to say that could possibly clear things up then he could just go right ahead and say it. Bansai approuched, turning to face the whole room as he leaned against Takasugi's desk, almost sitting on the edge. He didn't look at Takasugi directly, lowering his headphones as they played total silence. He tapped his fingers against the desk, coming up with the right words in his head. Takasugi was patient, waiting for Bansai to find the right words. The only sound that echoed among them was the surrounding rain that pelted the windows and whistled through the wind. And then...Bansai finally spoke. 

"I...I've been thinking about what happened all day. It was relentless, honestly. I suppose I'm not sure how to feel about my actions. Then again, you didn't push me away, Shinsuke. So now I'm quite puzzled on what exactly to say to you. If I'm entirely honest with you, what happened last night didn't feel like a bad thing, just...". 

"Weird...". Takasugi finished his sentence, receiving a brief nod in agreement. 

"I have never felt any attraction to a man before. Hell, I'm not even that interested in women. It doesn't bother me. But last night I ended up having some new thoughts that were so foriegn to me. I couldn't fully comprehend them. I guess I saw you in a certain way and that pulled me in to...kiss you". 

"Is that so? Well, what is it you saw in me, exactly?" 

"That, I can't fully describe either. It's such a blur but...I just know that, if for just a moment, I actually thought that you were...uh...". 

"Yes...?" Takasugi was on the edge of his seat here-metephorically, of course. Bansai cleared his throat, his expression still straight and unreadable. 

"I thought that you were...cute". 

"..." 

"....". 

".....". 

Silence...Not a word was spoken in approximately ten seconds after Bansai uttered those words. Takasugi...cute? Takasugi...cute...Taka-...sugi...cute...He had heard before, when he was a child, that his parent's acquaintances and peers refered to him as being a rather cute child. But...now? Bansai thought that Takasugi was cute? A-at least the other night when they had that moment, but...it was unbelievable for Takasugi to hear those words out loud-especially from Bansai. With such a straight face, how could such sentimental words exit his forever straight lips? 

"I know it sounds wrong comimg from me, to you, but...it was a mere thought. Ehem...Uh...Even now, I have never seen you in such an awkward position. You're usually so collected and measured. So I feel responsible". 

"Are you...being serious with me?" Takasuhi asked in a low mutter, his head lowered slightly. 

"Yes, I am. I did-for just a moment-find you to be "endearing", lets say. "Cute" wasn't the right word". 

"When...did you think this?" 

"Ah, around the time you took hold of my sleeve and said you didn't hate kissing me". 

"...". 

"Shinsuke...?" 

Takasugi sighed, leaning back in his chair once more. 

"So it's my responsibility as well for saying something so foolish". 

"...It's not foolish". Bansai responded honestly, barely hesitating to give Takasugi an honest answer to that. "I didn't hate it either. I had my reasons for doing something like that without thinking, but, in the end, it wasn't terrible. You agree, don't you". 

Takasugi was the one to hesitate. Bansai was the only one with him, the only one to see him lose his composure, the only one there to hear Takasugi's honest thoughts. 

"Yes...I will admit...the kiss wasn't bad. I just feel foolish for what I said". 

"Don't. If, by some chance, you were given the opportunity to do it again...would you? Honestly?" 

"...". 

Takasugi looked to Bansai directly for that answer, searching for it himself as he looked back on the looping memory. That kiss...It was the first intimate kiss he ever had that wasn't a filler before sleeping with anyone. And Takasugi has no slept with a lot of women. He felt this closeness to Bansai, a trust, that he hadn't felt in such a long time. Due the circumstances, Takasugi trusted Bansai with his life and knew that no betrayal lay ahead. He just wondered if this closeness was...romantic in any way. Looking at Bansai, Takasugi noticed the droplets of rain water to slid down his bangs. He sighed, pushing his chair forward slightly. 

"Your hair is still wet. May I?" 

"...!...Yes, of course". 

Just like last night, only the other way around, Takasugi took Bansai's towel in hand and began gently drying off his hair. In his sitting position, he couldn't reach all the way, even if Bansai bent down a little. Even seeing their height difference, a chuckle was brought out from Takasugi. 

"Here, I'll stand". 

Takasugi got up from his chair, misinturpreting the situation as he slipped on a small puddle made on the floor. It was an extremely short stumble from his chair and into Bansai's chest. The towel fell by their feet, the sound of the rain blocked out as they stared at eachother. What was this feeling...stirring up in Takasugi's chest? It throbbed, it fluttered, it was so warm and dragged his thoughts away from focus. He couldn't...focus. 

"Bansai...". He muttered, unconsciously gripping Bansai's shirt from his stumble. "I consider you as a close friend. And you consider me as a...close friend, too, right?" 

"What do you mean by "close friend", exactly?" 

"It is what it is. Nothing...odd about it. There's nothing odd about this, is there?" 

"Are you asking if, since we're close friends, we could be intimate with eachother?" 

Takasugi's heart skipped a beat. That was too forward, but it was kind of the point Takasugi was trying to make. 

"I suppose...". He answered, feeling that his cheeks were warming up-just a little bit. 

"Shinsuke...". Bansai muttered under his breath. 

"Yes, Bansai?" Takasugi responded, taking his eye off of his friend. 

Bansai soon grasped Takasugi's chin, bringing it back until they were looking directly at eachother once more. Bansai leaned in, whispering one thing as he closed in towards Takasugi. 

"You're very "endearing" right now". 

Their lips met, cool lips pressing softly but firmly against warm ones. Takasugi's breath hitched for a moment as their lips parted momentarily. It was just a second until they dived right back in. Their tongues touched shyly in the middle, their lips meeting too before Bansai took the initiative and pushed Takasugi's back. Bansai had more reach, considering his height compared to Takasugi's. It was the first time Takasugi had ever been the submissive in a kiss, his tongue being played with and flicked by Bansai's. He struggled to breathe through his nose as this experience overwhelmed him like it had never before. Had it always been so wet and hot? He couldn't remember, he couldn't think-his mind a blank. It wasn't too long before Takasugi's lungs gave in and he gasped away from the kiss, a saliva string running down his chin. He coughed, feeling suffocated. Quickly he wiped the string away with his shirt sleeve, feeling self-conscious about it. To his surprise, Bansai soon took hold of his hand, bringing it to his lips and placing a soft kiss over the knuckles. 

"Shinsuke...you're very cute". Bansai's whisper and low voice ran right through Takasugi's spine in a tingling shudder. 

Wrapping his arm around Takasugi's waist, Bansai brought him in closer and placed another soft kiss on his lips. This was so bizarre, but it didn't exactly feel wrong. The kiss was a nice change of pace, a distraction from one's recent stress that built itself up from work. Having Bansai there, as a comfort, and as someone trustworthy, made Takasugi feel a little better. But what could this be now? They were still friends but we they now "close friends?" He couldn't imagine going as far as, say, intercourse with Bansai. The thought didn't reach him in those moments of having his lips moulded together with Bansai's. He couldn't imagine it at all. Still...What would change now that they called eachother a "close friend?" What kind of relationship is that if all they've done is kissed? Neither knew. But, what they did know was that the phrase 'close friends", in this situation, was confusing as hell...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this was a little shorter than usual, but I just wanted to get some more stuff underway. The next one, I think, should be longer and have a lot more character stuff. I hope everyone's okay with it if I do some chapters every now and then that doesn't really involve Gintoki and Hijikata romance stuff. It's not just about that, even if it is the main focus. I want to do stuff for all the characters too. :) 
> 
> Also...Just, real quick: Bansai just wants to take Takasugi's pain away! DX *Sigh*, I'm all better now...Thank you for reading the next chapter, everyone. See you in the next one.


	7. What We Least Expect From A Person Can Be Pretty Amazing Sometimes

It was during the afternoon, after a school day, that Kagura waited to meet up with her usual grouo of friends who took pride in putting on an uneccessary, small amount of make-up that they didn't need at their age. Sometimes Kagura wonders why she drifts along with such an odd group. Sure, she wanted to be feminine and buy make-up and go to a fancy hair salon one day, but Gintoki refused to go with her and refused to give her any money that she didn't earn. Lagging behind with chores had really come back to bite her, as well as allowing Sadaharu to crap all over the balcony while Gintoki wasn't home. Sitting on the front step of the apartment complex, Kagura rested her chin on the palm of her hand while the other held onto Sadaharu's leash. He wandered around in circles a little, every now and then jolting and barking at the first sign of a female companion. He was an adult, after all. And even adult dogs want to do adult things with dog lady friends...or guy friends. She had only just discovered the possibility upon suspecting Gintoki's involvement with the Mayora. "Curiouser and Curiouser" she would say. It seemed strange since he stopped going out at night. The last time was around two nights ago. He came back with this different look like when a teenager has their first kiss. Damn, if that was the case, Kagura was envious-though she would never admit to not having been kissed yet. Boys were gross in her almightly fourteen-year-old opinion. Yet her "friends" were already into boys. She didn't understand at all. What was so great about them?

"Yo, China Girl. You get kicked out by Danna? Too much shit left on the carpet? Too bad. Why did the dog get kicked out too?" 

Damn...not now...Kagura sighed, the shadow of Okita approuching. She looked up, using her free hand to shroud her eyes away from the blazing sun. Even if Okita's fat head did get in the way. 

"You picking a fight, college boy? I'm stronger than I look, ya know". 

"I remember, since you smashed me into an air hockey table". 

"Oh yeah~. Still recovering? Although, I'm sure the brain damage hasn't gotten any worse than what it was".

"Oh ha-ha. I recovered quicker than you would expect. After all, it was a weak throw for someone who claims to be stronger than it looks". 

"Who are you callin' an "it"?! You do wanna fight today, don't you-aru?!" 

"What was that? I couldn't hear what you were saying over your fake accent". 

"That's it! You wanna go?! You wanna go, bro?! Let's go! Outside!" 

"We are outside, tough guy". 

"So you really do wanna go!" 

"I never said that. I'm just not saying anything to, ya know, keep you from getting hurt really badly. I prefere to mentally and emotionally abuse women my own age". 

"You are such a creep! Die, sadist~aruuuuu!" 

Kagura clutched one of her fist's in the palm of her hand, balling it up, raising it as high as she could manage in order to knock Okita over the head in the hopes that he would definitely get brain damage. As she did, Okita prepared to counter her, intending to get her back with full force. He had never hit a fourteen-year-old girl who wasn't the same age as him. But, in his head, there was always a first for everything. 

"Ah, Kagura-chaaan! There you are". 

Both Okita and Kagura froze upon hearing the echoing call of a girl. Kagura was the only one to recognise it, being one of her "friends". The small group of three approuched, all eyes going from Kagura to Okita in a split second. 

"Ooh, who's this, your boyfriend?" The others giggled shyly. At this, however, Kagura was absolutely livid. 

"As if! He's too old for me-and he's a super creepy, sadist jerk!" 

"Wooow, you did a good job defending yourself there, China Girl". Okita spoke up, stuffing his hands into his hoodie pockets. 

"Shut it, Okita! Stupid head...". 

"So, how old are you?" One of the girls asked, legitimately curious, 

"Wha-...?!" Much to Kagura's disgust... 

"Eighteen, so, yeah, don't just assume I'm this runt's boyfriend or whatever. I prefere women my own age, thanks". 

"Woah, you're so mature. Are you in collge?" 

"Sure am. It's pretty fun, even if you slack off a little. It's all good". 

"Really? Do you, like, skip classes and stuff?" 

"Don't tell anybody, but, yeah, sometimes". 

That is a lie! Sure he can be lazy, but he attends class! He goes through assignments and work easily! How Kagura knows this...Because he's a super sadist who's trying to make these girls fall to pieces in their studies! Sadist mode activated! 

"Don't listen to him!" Kagura protested, waving her arms frantically in front of the girls to basically keep them from ruining their lives. "He's a bad influence! A butt-bag!" 

"Butt-bag...?" Okita was even a little puzzled by that weird insult. 

"Kagura-chan, I'm sure he's just kidding around. Right?" 

"Oh, no. I'm only serious towards mature people. They're hard to come by, right, girls?" 

"Kyaaaa!" 

They just totally dismissed what he said before! That he's, apparently, a good-for-nothing bad boy who skips class! Yeah right! He had them in the palm of his hand without doing anything but spouting lies! The hell?! Suddenly the front entrance to the apartment complex opened, Kagura and Okita's gaze drifting in that direction out of instinct. And, well, out came Gin-chan. Probably heading to the publisher's office. 

"Hey, Gin-chan". 

"Yo, Danna". 

Ura

"Hey, brats. Wait, Kagura, I thought you would have left by now". 

"I was, but then this jerk showed up and started flirting with my friends like a creep". 

"I wasn't flirting. I told ya: I like girls my own age". 

Gintoki sighed, scratching the back of his hair. 

"I'll give ya some words of wisdom before I leave: Okita-kun, girls at a young age have their expectations set too high for a guy they like. In that respect, you should actually go out with girls your own age instead of taking your sadism out of girls around Kagura's age. Let their expectations be crushed by some other asshole who's worse off than you, okay?" 

"Whatever you say, Danna". 

"See you kids around. I've gotta go hand in my work, otherwise Granny's gonna bite my head off". 

"See ya, Danna". 

"Bye, Gin-chan". 

Gintoki began walking down the street, hands stuffed into his pockets as he walked on. The other girls looked at him curiously, as if they missed that entire conversation. 

"Kagura-chan, isn't that your housemate?" 

"Yep, just until I get some money together so I can go see Big Bro". 

"Come to think of it, I've never seen your brother. What's he like?" 

"Oh, please. He's just a big, stupid moron of a brother. Now, can we go?" 

"Uh-...Yeah, sure. B-bye, Okita-kun". 

"Yeah, bye". 

The rest of the girls said their goodbyes to Okita as they walked on ahead. Kagura lagged behind a little as she took hold of Sadaharu's leash once more. 

"Oi, China Girl". Kagura froze upon hearing Okita call out to her. 

"What is it?" She asked, not turning to face him. 

"Your brother...What is he like, really?" 

"To be honest...he's not as different as you. Just a big, dumb moron with a stupid attitude. See ya around, sadist". 

Kagura walked off, her dog following her as she caught up with her small band of friends. Okita looked on towards her as she gradually disappeared into the distance. "Not that different from him", eh? He smiled at the thought. He must have been some asshole, if that was the case. Usually older siblings are supposed to be taking care of the youngest. Okita knew that. It was common sense, after all. From what he heard around from Hijikata and the other officers, Kagura's big brother was involved in gang activity. A real troublemaker. Seemed like he and Okita weren't so different-only by backround were there several differences. Okita was a younger brother, Kamui was an older brother. They were the same age, though. Somehow, Okita had a good feeling that he would meet this Kamui someday. That would certianly be fun. At least, just as much fun as it is with the China Girl. 

... 

"Alright, thanks, Granny. I'll work on it".

Gintoki felt the weight off his shoulders as he made a swift exit from Otose's office. That was more work done and brought in. Good thing the old hag okayed the project this time. Any more and poor Gin-san would have lost it. He stretched his arms up, attempting to loosen up his muscles after sitting in that uncomfortable chair for who knows how long while Otose read over his project. He knew for a fact that he was being worked to the bone this time-had no chance of laying back in a comfortable chair. He wouldn't get another chance this time, because he...well...he had plans...with the Mayora. They made them out in the hallway since neither of them had eachother's number. Either way, he was so self-conscious and felt like an idiot for just asking. He thought about it many times: the fact that they were going on dates now-but not actually dating, right? The thought gave him goosebumps across his skin and sent a disturbing chill down his spine, like an uncomfortable itch. He cringed, shaking his head to himself to get rid of the thought. As he wandered through the office, on his merry way to the exit, Gintoki spotted Katsura at his desk. Couldn't hurt to say hello amd distract himself. Only, he was wondering if it was okay to interupt Katsura's...whatever he was doing. 

"Uh...Zura?" Gintoki called his name, sort of, and approuched. 

It appeared that Katsura was staring at a photograph within a pale wooden frame. He stared at it, as if longingly towards whoever the photo depicted. He sighed deeply. 

"I miss Elizabeth...". He muttered, ignoring Gintoki's greeting-and the fact that he called him "Zura". 

Katsura had mentioned this "Elizabeth" before, saying that they took a trip a while ago. But Gintoki couldn't tell, from the conversations they had previously, if they were friends or in a relationship or what. Katsura never specified. Plus, no one had ever seen this "Elizabeth" before, but Katsura spoke quite highly of them. Gintoki peered over Katsura's shoulder to see this picture for himself and, well, it raised more questions than answers. 

"Apparently Elizabeth was doing a marathon when this was taken, and sent it to me. Isn't that sweet?" 

"Oh, I see what you mean. What, is that the costume they wore?" Just then Katsura gave Gintoki a weird look, puzzled. 

"What costume?"

"Eh...?" 

Gintoki looked over the picture again, thoroughly confused now. It looked like a big costume of a duck or whatever the hell it was with big eyes and a beak but...that wasn't a costume? And why the hell did Katsura not think that was the weird part?! Is that just...Elizabeth?! Gintoki didn't want to get involved in this conversation any further, simply backing away slowly from Katsura and heading for the exit once again without another word. That was unexpected. Almost scary. Gintoki hurried to the elevator, tapping the button to call it up or down or whatever-just as long as he could get on it and leave that awkward situation behind. The last thing he saw as he entered the elevator and looked back was the puzzled expression on Katsura. Why was he giving Gintoki that look. Why not his weird friend in the photograph? Was his friend even female? Was it even a friend? A pet maybe? Nope, not gonna think about it. No more, otherwise Gintoki would go crazy over it. The elevator doors closed, his thoughts turning blank. It's as they say: "out of sight, out of mind". 

... 

The sun was blazing compared to the other night's downpour, an annoyance as glare shot through the windows towards someone who barely got outside. It was even a pain to go out and smoke on the balcony, as Takasugi found. Could be worse. The only question was "how could it be worse?" He sighed, legitimately feeling bored for once as he had gotten all of his work finished in the afternoon. Sitting alone on the floor, keeping his back to main windows of the apartment reminded him all too well of his childhood, before meeting Katsura and Gintoki. He couldn't think of those times, though. As if he wanted to. All he could recall was the moments in which he would sit alone after home school on a hot day like, well, today. Seemed like summer was just rolling in. Another headache that Takasugi really didn't want. Strangely, he did wish for the company of Bansai at times like these. But what could they do? Get an extremely late lunch? Sit? Talk? Or...maybe...

"Aghhh, what the fuck has he put in my head? Damn brat". Nothing. Honestly, Bansai had put nothing strange into Takasugi's head other than... 

("Are you asking if, since we're close friends, we could be intimate with eachother?") 

Takasugi's thoughts froze in place as the echo emitted clearly in his head. Thinking back on it now, he was embarrassed about the whole incedent. What could he do about it now? They had already kissed and...w-well, not much else. Nothing else, actually. He figured that it was fine, that they were still good friends, only more intimate. Why was "friends with benefits" on the tip of his tongue? It wasn't like "that". They weren't going to do anything like "that", right? It had only been a day and already he was thinking ahead with strange thoughts, and about a man to boot. He'd never had that experience before. It wasn't on his mind previously, the thought of being with another man that way. There was also a gap in age, and experience with intimacy in general. There was no way they could be romantic, could they? Takasugi pondered, leaning his back against the wall in thought. Just then... 

"...?" 

There was a tap at the window just about his head. He was still for another moment before hearing the same noise again, followed by a soft meowing. Curious, he shifted himself away from the wall, turning slightly to see if his ears weren't playing tricks on him-even at his age. They weren't. At the window, standing skillfully on all fours was a gorgeous feline that stared blankly through the window. By appearance, Takasugi assumed that it was a Snowshoe cat-a breed originally from the U.S. It had shiny, ice blue eyes and white paws, a dark coat over its back and a fluffy white chest-simply precious. It was fascinating for a cat to stroll over to his apartment window. The only question was: "how did it get up there?" No matter, it seemed to wamt some company. Takasugi got up from the floor, turning to open up the window carefully-as not to startle the kitten. It had been a long time since he had interacted with one. Once the window was open enough for the feline to crawl under, it didn't hesitate to hop from the window ledge and to the floor. It meowed, looking over the space of the apartment curiously before turning back to Takasugi, running its side and tail over his leg affectionately with a soft purr. He chuckled, immediatly taking a liking to this cat. 

He left the window open slightly, not wanting to confine the creature if it did want to leave. But as soon as Takasugi sat back down on the floor with his legs almost in a basket position, the kitty leaned in towards his hand as he reached out and sniffed curiously. It purred, headbutting his fingers and knuckles. It was Takasugi's cue to pet its head gently, receiving more purring at the action. Cute. And Takasugi didn't use that word often. 

"Hm, you're quite lovely. Unlike those stinking mutts that Takechi keeps. You're gorgeous and sweet. I would keep you for myself if I knew where you came from exactly".

There was no collar, or even any signs that this cat was a stray. Its fur was soft and clean, it didn't smell bad and was definitely not aggressive. It was very gentle and sweet and domestic. Whoever the owner was, they let their cat roam free quite easily without a care, it seemed. Although, the cat wasn't skinny either. So they must have fed her at least. Maybe other people in the apartment feed her? Takasugi smiled at the thought that perhaps this cat used its charm and affection to earn food. Well, it would have worked. Since she was so small and endearing, she could win anyone's affection-even Takasugi's. 

Just then, unexpectedely, the front door opened. Of course, he left it open for Bansai's return. 

"I'm back. Shinsuke, I bought us an extremely late lunch. You haven't eaten yet...right?" 

Bansai's voice trailed off into silence once he spotted Takasugi at the other end of the room, petting a cat with so much affection that it was strange, but a nice image to look at. But, it would be surprising to know that, well... 

"Oh, so you've already acquainted yourself with Kitty?" Bansai was already familiar with this cat. 

"Kitty? This cat has come here before?" 

"Yep...". Bansai answered briefly as he walked towards Takasugi, kneeling down next to him. "This cat comes by sometimes, mostly by my bedroom window. It's become a habit of her's". 

"Kitty" turned towards Bansai as he carefully reached out. She meowed quietly, headbutting his fingers with a soft purr. 

"So, have you been taking care of her without my knowledge?" 

"Well, yes. But only because I figured that you didn't like animals. But seeing you pet Kitty so affectionately has made me think otherwise". 

"It isn't that. I just despise dogs. So noisy and filthy. No manners, unlike cats". 

"Okay, Mr Michaelis". 

"What did you just call me? You comparing me to cat-obsessed demon?" 

"It's nothing, it's nothing. I'm actually more of a dog person myself. But...Kitty reminds me of you in some ways". 

Takasugi didn't know how to feel about that, honestly. It caught him off guard a bit. 

"How does she remind you of me?" He asked, almost dreading the answer. 

"When I first met this little lady, she was quite cold towards me-a closed book. The first time we met, you didn't know how to talk to me. Super tsundere". 

"Oi, will you stop comparing me to weird things? It's not funny". 

"Anyway, slowly she began to open up to me. Now look, I'm considered her favourite person in the house. She follows me around, gives me small signs that tell me if she wants anything. She's...a lot more affectionate and open. You, too, are...a lot more open with me than when we first met. I mean that as friends not-ehem...anyway, you seem to like her a lot. I was thinking we could take her in someday". 

"Does she not have a home here?" 

"I asked around the apartment complex, but no one recognises her. It didn't surprise me, since the first time I saw her she wasn't very clean. Good thing Snowshoes like water. She didn't mind being groomed at all". 

"Interesting...". 

Takasugi never thought that Bansai would know such things about the particular breed. He even said himself that he prefered dogs. But apparently he had been feeding her and grooming her and taking care of her when no one else would. She was so sweet, as well. Who wouldn't want to take her in? 

"You know...". Takasugi muttered, striking up a subject that came to mind. "I used to have a cat when I was a child-well, my parents did. She was a Manx cat. Gorgeous and proud and the most company I had for a long time. I was homeschooled for a long time during my childhood so I never got to play with other children at a young age. That grew on me into my adulthood, as you can imagine but...while I was at least...five years old, I'd say, she would keep me company and allow me to pet her, no matter how snobbish she could be sometimes. Before I was sent to military school, she died of illness. And I couldn't help but feel truely saddened about it. She was...the only company I had for years". 

"...I know". 

Takasugi expected there to be a long silence, so it surprised him when Bansai suddenly spoke up. He continued. 

"I know you had a Manx cat in your parent's manor until it died of illness. However...you never told me that you were ever homeschooled before you were sent to military school, and you never shared the fact that you were quite lonely in your childhood". 

"A-and? Meaning what-What's your point?" 

Bansai propped his elbow against the wall, resting his cheek of his balled up knuckles as he looked at Takasugi with a smile. 

"You opened up to me, see? I knew you were like Kitty, but even more cute". 

"...!" Takasugi looked away from Bansai, feeling his cheeks warm up just a little. How could he be so shameless?! And what's with the smile? When did that ever exist?! 

"Shinsuke, it's alright. I'm glad you told me, even if it wasn't intentional. It really makes me happy to see you so comfortable". 

Takasugi hesitated, but soon looked to Bansai once more. At that, Bansai cupped Takasugi's cheek, leaning in to place a soft kiss on his lips. 

"You're warm". Bansai pointed out, brushing his knuckles over Takasugi's cheek. "Embarrassed?" 

"Shut it...Don't get so full of yourself". 

"Haa, fine. So, what do you wanna do about Kitty? Should we call the shelter or maybe...you would like to keep her?" 

"Well...if we are going to keep her, do we really have to stick to the name "Kitty"?" 

"What's wrong with it?" 

"Sounds like you just made it up on the spot". 

"Of course, I have no originallity when it comes to names". 

"You're a musician". 

"I was kidding. Guess I'm not very funny either". That brought out a smile from Takasugi, at least. "I like the name. We should just stick with it". 

"Fine, whatever you like".

"Unless you have a better name to give her?" 

"I would, but...I have no originallity either". 

"Then that settles it. Kitty it is". 

With his monotone voice, the word Kitty sounded wrong. But if Bansai liked the name for her, there was no point in arguing. It had been a long time since Takasugi kept a pet. It was the first time he had a pet of his own. Even if Bansai was Kitty's supposed favourite person in the household, he could still call her his own. Even with Bansai around, things would feel less isolated. No...things already felt less isolated ever since Bansai moved in the first place. Recently, however, he seemed to be the closest Takasugi had ever gotten to another person. 

"Now, about that extremely late lunch...". 

"Oh, right". Takasugi remembered, realising his own hunger as he looked over towards the bag left on the living room coffee table. "Good idea. I'm starving. Do we have anything for Kitty?" 

"Hmm...Just some cream in the fridge. Guess it'll have o do until we buy her some stuff. Hey, since I have some time off tomorrow, do you wanna go into town and buy some products for her?" 

"Wouldn't that be...odd, going together?" Bansai shook his head in disagreement. 

"No. We're just two roommates going to get cat stuff for our new cat. It's fine. Why would it be odd?" 

"It's...not. Nevermind". 

"Wait, lemme guess...". 

Before he could finish, Takasugi placed his hand over Bansai's lips to prevent him from finishing that sentence. It would be the worst if he did. 

"Don't. You. Dare say it. I will beat the shit out of you if you utter another word about it". 

Takasugi's cheeks were slightly pink, knowing what Bansai was going to say. Sadly, Bansai was more persistent...in a subtle way, I guess. He took hold of Takasugi's hand, his expression straight as he said this. 

"It would feel like we're a couple, huh?" 

"You...!" 

He actually said it...Damn, big mouthed brat... 

"Does that thought embarrass you? Don't know why. We're just "close friends", right, Shinsuke?" 

"...".

"Exactly. Now, I'm gonna go feed Kitty. I guess she could use our spare rice bowl for now" 

Before getting up, Bansai planted a kiss on Takasugi's cheek without shame. When he walked towards the kitchen, Kitty jumped from Takasugi's lap and followed Bansai towards the kitchen. Takasugi let out a sigh. He really was a brat; shameless and too forward for his own good. Since when did Bansai act like that, even if he had that straight face? What, just because of Takasugi he dropped that cool and calm act and showed a more brazen attitude. His shame was utterly stagnent and it kinda pissed Takasugi off. Still...He was grateful to Bansai for being the "close friend" he had...once. That was gone now, it seemed. Being with Bansai, even if must for a moment, he could forget as he tried to hide his smile and hold back laughter. They were familiar feelings, but distant. He never expected to feel this way again, towards a friend. Maybe more than he realised at the moment. Yeah...for the moment. 

... 

Work had died down, which was odd considering that it was evening-the busiest time of the day for the Shinsengumi. But while some officers took on their shift, it gave others the opportunity to either go home and rest. The majority, anyway. The small gym within the lower regions of the station was free to the Head-Commander and the Vice-Commander until they were ready to leave. The only other person who occupied it was Sougo, since he hated going home too early. The air smelled musty and metallic, as it always did from the built up sweat and heat within its confinement. It was the lower level, almost like a basement, with only one window and locker rooms next door. There was the gym across the street, which most cops in the Shinsengumi visited to work out, but the smaller one downstairs was more private and had a ring for more close range combat, like boxing. It had been a while since Kondo and Hijikata engaged in this together, so now was a good opportunity while they both, especially Hijikata, had the time.

"So, Toshi, get rusty yet?" 

"No, not at all. In fact, I could go first just to prove it to ya". 

"That's the spirit. You never turn your back on a challenge, do you, Toshi?" 

"Hmph...Of course not". 

Hijikata was the first to strap on the fingerless boxing gloves while Kondo would wear the punching mitts. Of course, they wouldn't really be boxing. It was just training for fun. It had been a while since Hijikata boxed. He had tried many other forms of combat, but boxing...He hadn't trained with Kondo since he was, at least, in his early twenties. Sougo watched over them from the side lines, feeling envious-although he would never admit it. The only time Kondo smiled like that, while looking so serious at the same time, was with Hijikata. It was irritating. Hijikata put up his gloved fists, throwing the first punch at the left punch mitt with his right hand. 

"Woah, quite a hit, Toshi. But I know you can do better. Don't hold anything back". 

"You sure?" 

"Positive. Go. Hit me with your best shot. Well, hit the mitts, but you know what I-whoah!" 

Hijikata through several more strong and skillful punches at the center targets of the punch mitts. He held back a little, to be honest. Only because didn't want to knock Kondo out by accident. It built up quite a sweat, including moving around the ring and dodging whenever Kondo attempted to lightly jab at Hijikata-as if he was in a real fight. The small chuckles and smirks proved that the fight wasn't taken too seriously, especially when Kondo played unfair and put Hijikata into a playful headlock. 

"Gah! K-Kondo-san?!" 

"Ahahaha! Well fought, Toshi! You're doin' a good job!" 

"I-I get it so could you not put me into a headlock?!" 

"Just a little longer. Hahaha". 

Unstrapping his mitt, Kondo began ruffling Hijikata's hair relentlessly. Despite the position he was in, Hijikata let out a chuckle before managing to push Kondo away.

"Hah, you're too much". 

"But you're smiling". 

"I am, and I don't exactly like it". 

Hijikata unstrapped his gloves, tossing them down to the ground carelessly with a big sigh. From the built up heat in the room and his previous work-out, even before the boxing, he realised he had built up quite a sweat. Glancing at the clock on the wall he thought to himself; "I still have time". 

"I'm, uh, gonna go shower and change, alright, Kondo-san?" 

"Go ahead. Hey, you wanna get a drink after this? My treat". 

"I would love to, but...". Hijikata exited the ring, turning back to Kondo for a moment to explain in the best detail he could without exactly telling him everything. "I've got plans elsewhere, and I can't be late. Sorry". 

He hated lying to Kondo, considering that they had built up so much trust over the years. But this wasn't something he could share, being a man of his age. Besides, Sougo was in the room too and that give him a chance to humiliate him in front of the other cops, somehow. 

"Aw, too bad. But I won't stop you, of course. Just tell me one thing; is she cute?" 

"Ah, K-Kondo-san, it isn't like that". Hijikata glanced away awkwardly. It really wasn't like that...kind of. 

"Oh, sure. Sure it isn't". Kondo winked at Hijikata, not knowing the truth. "You go have fun, Toshi. Whoever she is, treat her respectfully, alright?" 

"It's not like that". Hijikata repeated as he headed into the men's locker room, his voice echoing slightly. 

With Hijikata gone, it left Kondo and Okita being the only one's in the room. Okita was envious of how close Kondo and Hijikata were, despite the fact that Kondo knew Okita for a little longer-even if Okita was just a kid at the time. In everyone's eyes, though, he still was.

"Hey, Sougo, why don't you head home. You have college tomorrow, don't you?" 

"Yeah, I do. I just wanted to hang around a little longer since my assignments and stuff have kept me busy". 

Kondo could sense when something was wrong-in all his comrades. Okita was probably the second most difficult to read, right after Hijikata, but Kondo had known him long enough to see that something was wrong. A downside to that, however, was the fact that Kondo was too dense to see what that was exactly. In other words; Okita's secret jealousy of Hijikata. He would never use those words, nor would he even admit to it. But it was there, deep inside. Kondo exited the ring, making his way over to Sougo on the benches and sitting with him. A thing about Okita was that he never really had a father figure around-none of them really did-so Kondo was usually the one to step in for that role. He saw it that way, at least. Especially for Sougo. 

"What's up, Sougo? You're usually more talkative when Toshi's in the room. Is something bothering you?" 

About a million and one things, all pointing to Hijikata. Not like he could say that. 

"Kondo-san, do you think...I could be vice-chief someday? I really want to, just so I could be by your side". 

"I'm happy that you feel that way, Sougo. Really. But...perhaps the day you do make it to vice-chief, might be the day that Toshi becomes...chief, or maybe someone else. Either way, you won't be by my side as a collegue". 

That irritated Sougo-greatly. Because of his age and because of hi position he wouldn't be able to be anywhere near vice-chief for years. He would have to work hard in order to get there, but that was a decade away. It would even take longer than that depending on when Kondo retired or when Hijikata kicked the bucket. Either way, it wasn't possible for him to be by Kondo's side. At the thought, Kondo placed his hand over Sougo's hair, tussling it gently. 

"However...". Kondo began again, smiling. "You'll always be by my side as a good friend. To me, that means so much more". 

"Kondo-san...you think that about everyone here". 

"Of course I do. You're all like family to me; brothers, sons, sisters. Just a big family, am I right?" 

Kondo ruffled Sougo's hair, making him smile on accident. Kondo was really too nice, too kind, too gentle for his own good. That's why Sougo wanted to be by his side. He wanted to be like a sword and shield to him if Kondo couldn't find the will to raise his own. The only problem was Hijikata. He got in Kondo's good books far too quickly-and for what reason? Why choose him? It wasn't fair. 

"Ahh, well, maybe when you're of age, I'll invite you out for a drink. How's that sound?" 

"Fine. I just have to wait another three years". 

"Don't worry about it. It's not that far away. Now, come on, I'll drive you home". 

"You sure, Kondo-san?" 

"Absolutely. Now come on. It's a school night, after all". 

As Kondo went on ahead, Sougo let out a deep sigh. "A school night", of course. Even Kondo treated him like a kid at times. Most likely not to offend Sougo-he wouldn't do that. Still, being one of the youngest on the force really pissed him off. Even if he wouldn't be able to become vice-chief for years, it would still be satisfying to see Hijikata get shot or something. Then Sougo's world would be a better place. 

... 

It wasn't too late in the evening-around seven at night-when Gintoki found himself dragging his feet to a particular meet-up place. He couldn't help but run it through his head-constantly-that this may or may not have been an official..."date". He cringed upon using that word again, a cold chill running over his spine like electricity. He could blame it on the final cold days of Spring, but that would be a lie. A really bad lie to boot. Of course he would still feel uncomfortable going through this sort of thing with another man, but it wasn't too bad either. The fact that Gintoki had never actually dated before felt just as foriegn as going on a date with a man. And this thing felt so official-an official date. Haa, he felt too old to be calling it something like that. Way too old. He had never been on a date before, until Hijikata. His lack of experience was a huge pain in ass since he hated feeling nervous or uncomfortable over something so small. It wasn't like they were doing anything else. Just meeting up, watching the movie, going back to the apartment building and...g-going their separate ways. That pause in Gintoki's head was not a good thing. No-there was absolutely nothing else that could happen afterwards. Noth-Nothing! Nothing at...all. 

"Gahh! It's only been-what-two dates and I'm already thinking of stuff that's NEVER gonna happeeeeeen!" Gintoki stopped in the middle of the street, crying out these strongly spoken words as if determind to get it through to his head. Nothing else could happen between them. No more than what was planned. 

"What are you doing?" 

"Gyaah!" 

Gintoki jolted, swiftly turning around to see Hijikata behind him with a look of confusion on his face and a cigarrette hanging from his lips. 

"N-nothing. I wasn't doing anything-ahaha! Just waiting for you, slowpoke". 

"Uh-...huh. Well, we're both here, so let's just, uh, go inside". 

"Eh...?" 

Gintoki looked up to the building next to him in puzzlement. He really did stop in front of the cinema, or the meet-up spot. How 'bout that. 

"Eh, oh, sure. Let's go in...like we planned". 

"What's up with you? You seem off". 

"Me? No, I'm fine. Are you fine?" 

"Um, well...I think so. A little uncomfortable-but fine nonetheless". 

"Yeah...Me too". 

Were they back to this shit? This awkward, uncomfortable shit that dragged on more than it needed to? Really? If they were gonna do this dating thing more than once, they had better break out of the awkwardness while they still could. 

"You comin'?" 

Gintoki asked, leading the way into the cinema entrance. Hijikata didn't respond verbally, and simply followed with a brief nod as he threw his cigarette down on the ground to be crushed under his shoe. Here they go again. They each silently hoped that things would go smoothly. It was a movie, so neither of them could really talk to eachother. It was just a time when they could hang out peacefully and try not to piss eachother off in whatever possible way. With the particular movie they agreed to watch, nothing could go wrong. Unfortunately... 

... 

"Sold out? What do you mean sold out?" 

"I mean, sir, that all the tickets were bought for that movie. Sorry". 

Yep. The movie tickets had sold out. Just for that particular movie, anyway. It was suppose to be a light-hearted tale with some serious content that would make you tear up just a little bit-although the two that was Gintoki and Hijikata wouldn't admit that. Not that it mattered anymore, anyway. 

"Are there any other movies running that aren't sold out?" Hijikata asked the young lady behind the counter. 

"Um, well, there is a horror movie showing in room 1. That has plenty of tickets available. Would you like to attend that instead? You still have ten minutes until commercials start". 

"Uh...What kind of horror movie?" Gintoki asked, feeling skeptical. 

"Oh, I haven't seen it myself. But it's supposed to be heavily based on spirits and the paranormal. It's based on one of "Shin's" novels. So, if you know about their books, it's gotta be scary as hell. Uh, sorry, I'm rambling. Would you like tickets to that movie instead?" 

There was a pause between Gintoki and Hijikata. Ghosts...The paranormal...Based on one of Takasugi's novels...Shit. 

"Uh, could you give us a moment? Thanks". 

Gintoki turned Hijikata around until their backs faced the young woman. She was incredibly confused by this, but there was no line behind them. A moment was acceptable. 

"So, what do you think? Do you wanna...go in? U-unless you're scared of that baby stuff, Hijikata-kun". 

"Of course I'm not scared. Are you an idiot? I would, in fact, l-like to see this movie since we're already here. But, maybe you're the one who's scared. So, in that respect, we can just go somewhere else tonight". 

"W-we could do that if you're, in fact, the one who's shitting himself-dreading to see this movie" 

"I'm-I'm not. Sounds like it's you who's shitting himself. Besides, we wouldn't want to waste this young lady's time, do we?" 

"If you're scared, Hijikata, I won't judge you. We can just go somewhere else and save you the embarrassment of peeing your pantsu". 

"Like hell! You're the one who sounds the most unwilling! You're practically shaking!" 

"I am not shaking. I just...have to take a shit really bad". 

"How shameless are you?! Look, are we gonna watch this movie or not?! I'm not scared!" 

"Me neither!" 

"Fine, then!" 

"Good! Fucking hell...". 

They both turned back to the lady, leaning against the desk as they tried to collect their composure. 

"Ahem, t-two tickets please...". Gintoki asked, reluctantly. 

... 

They both settled within the darkness of the staging area, anxiety drifting in and out from either of them. With the time they had, before entering, they managed to purchase some snacks as they tried to calm their nerves. It was the best one minute of the entire date so far. But, secretly, they both dreaded this part.

"Well, I'm gonna go to restroom". Gintoki announced, quickly standing from his seat with intent to leave in haste before Hijikata grabbed his wrist. 

"Oi, the movie hasn't even started yet and you're already leaving? You scared or something?" 

"N-no! I told you: I have to shit really badly. I know you want me to stay and hold your hand, but I can do that when I get back, okay?" 

"Fine. But hurry, or you'll...you'll miss the movie. And I don't need you to hold my hand-Don't ditch me!" 

"I won't...I'll hurry back, okay? Okay...". 

Gintoki darted out of the room, not wanting to spend another second within the darkness, knowing that some spooky shit was coming up. Hijikata sighed, feeling uncomfortable sitting himself within the wide, empty space of that aisle. In his head he wished that Gintoki would actually come back and not ditch him. Not like he was scared or anything. Cops shouldn't get scared of stupid shit like that. No way... 

... 

Gintoki returned from the restroom around half-an-hour later with a smile on his face. He figured he missed most of the movie, never having kept track of the time while in the restroom. He sat down, hoping to see Hijikata quivering in fear from the film's contents. 

"Ahh, much better". Gintoki lied, sitting down with no pain in his ass whatsoever. "So, what did I miss? I would have stayed longer, but I had a tough time in the restroom". 

"Commercials...". Hijikata answered calmly. 

"Eh? What?" 

"You missed a half-an-hour of commercials. I swear, they advertise a lot more in cinemas these days". 

"Ehh? So-So the movie hasn't even started?" 

Just as those words trembled from Gintoki's quivering lips, the lights dimmed even further and a feeling of dread entered both their stomachs. Gintoki was worse off, since he missed the calming, cheerful commercials that the Japanese seemed to make up on the spot. Instead of happy thoughts about Japanese candy and products, he had leftover thoughts of panicking in the cinema's restroom for half-an-hour. Shit. Shit, shit, shit! He cursed in his head, knowing he couldn't get another chance to stand up again without looking like a huge wimp. Hijikata, on the other hand, stayed right where he was with no intent to stand an leave while he had the option. In this situation, Hijikata was a bit more stubborn to stand up and seemingly "leave for the restroom", making him look weak to Gintoki. He remained seated, holding his ground while the movie began. Already, chills covered their backs and goosebumps formed across their arms and legs under the clothing. The most overwhelming feeling, as of that moment, was regret. 

... 

How...the hell did Takasugi come up with this stuff?! These thoughts cried out in Gintoki's head as he unwillingly watched the horros gradually unfold after tensions and build-up. Gintoki had never touched one of Takasugi's books, but for it to be made into a movie...He couldn't believe he would go throught with that. Truth be told, no matter how successful he is, guess he didn't mind earning a little extra from a movie. But seeing the visuals and the scenarios showed just how messed up in the head Shinsuke Takasugi was. It was truey terrifying. Every so often, Gintoki and Hijikata would flinch or squeeze their eyes shut. The darkness was convenient as neither of them could look at eachother's expressions. It would only come back to bite them. The only problem was, at one of the biggest jumpscares, as they hadn't happened for a while, they both instinctively flinched and reached out to grab whatever was available. Funnily enough, they both grabbed eachothers hands. 

"Wh-What the hell are you doing, grabbing my hand?!" Gintoki whispered harshly as Hijikata, despite knowing that he did the same thing. 

"Me?! What about you?!" Hijikata whispered back, scowling at Gintoki through the darkness. 

"Ah, excuse me, I was actually reaching out for the popcorn-cause I was hungry!" 

"We finished that an hour ago. Don't try to make excuses!" 

"I am not. How dare you. Besides, even if I was holding your hand, it would be because you were shivering in fear over there. But I wasn't-you reached out first". 

"Did not". 

"Did too". 

"Did not!" 

"Did too!" 

"Are you a fucking child?!" 

"At heart, yes! But I'm a brave child at heart who doesn't get scared at petty shit like this!" 

There was a sudden loud noise from the movie, forcing out cries from both Hijikata and Gintoki. They unconsciously squeezed eachother's hands tight enough to hurt. It fine, since everyone else in the audience cried out as well. The scene continued, practically screaming violence and gore and nightmare fuel. It was something to look away from, yet all eyes were glued to the screen. Neither of them wanted to watch. Gintoki wracked his brain to think of a way to keep himself from watching. He looked to Hijikata. Through the beaming light of the screen, he could clearly see the fear in his eyes too. With built up courage and determination, Gintoki did what he had to do in order to look away from this horrific scene to come. 

"Hijikata...". Gintoki called out to Hijikata, luckily receiving his attention. 

Gintoki didn't hesitate as he grabbed Hijikata by his shirt and pulled him closer, pressing his lips to his in a huge attempt to take his eyes and his mind away from the movie. They squeezed their eyes shut, blocking out the scene and the screaming and, what sounded like, gore and blood splattering within the movie. It was a netter distraction than no distraction at all. Hijikata didn't pull away, instead embracing this idea and going along with it, even in the wrong atmosphere with the wrong mood. As silence faded within the big screen, Gintoki pulled away. Both of their lips were sore from such a forced kiss, but it helped a lot. 

"That, uh...Th-That was just because...uh...". Gintoki tried to find a good excuse for kissing Hijikata so suddenly-and in a public place! But nothing came to mind. 

"Thanks...". Hijikata muttered, unexpectedly, without anything else to follow. 

The matter was left at that. No real excuses were made, neither of them made fun of the other for such an action. They just both mutally-and silently-agreed that it kept them both from having worse nightmares than what they were already gonna have. Nothing more, surprisingly. 

... 

Dragging their feet out of the showing room was exhausting, an inescapable feeling haunting them both as they wandered out of the cinema and into the night. Exiting, Hijikata immediatly leaned his back to the wall, taking out a cigarette that was so deperately needed after that stressful session. Gintoki did the same, only knowing that he had no cigarettes to smoke he crouched down on the ground with his head lowered. They did it, though. They made a stand.

"Next time...let's just get some frozen yogurt or something". Gintoki suggested, totally spent, with no energy to say that Hijikata was too afraid to handle the movie in the end. 

"Agreed...". Hijikata roughly felt the same way, even though he wasn't one to provoke Gintoki first. 

Eventually, they found the strength to walk back to the apartment building-closely together out of anxiety. Yes, the aftershock of the movie haunted them still. Seemed like neither of them would be able to sleep that night. 

... 

While walking up the usual steps to the top floor, Gintoki would turn his back every now and again to make sure nothing was behind him while Hijikata kept his eyes forward at all times. They were both wary of corners and the long corridor that lay in front of them when reaching the top. Hesitant, they both walked up the final step. The floorboards creaked beneath their feet as they slowly made their way in front of their doors. And ominous darkness lay ahead at the end of the hallway, like something was lurking in the shadows-in waiting. 

"Uhh...well, goodnight, Hijikata. See ya tomorrow". 

Gintoki quickly got out his apartment key, ready to leave this night, and Hijikata, alone. Until Hijikata grabbed his sleeve firmly. 

"Wait, wait, wait. It's not that late. Don't you want to, uh, maybe get a drink at my place or...something?" 

"N-no, I'm good. Besides, Kagura's been having bad dreams recently. She's come into my room for comfort, so, yeah, I can't leave her alone until she gets over it, so...uh...!". 

Then Gintoki realised something...It was a lie that Kagura had been having nightmares and needed to sleep in Gintoki's bed but...He remembered. He remembered that Kagura was sleeping over with her friends that night, leaving Gintoki alone in the apartment. 

"Y-you know what, you can come in if you'd like. I mean, I wouldn't neccessarily drink but, if you're really terrified tonight, you could stay and sleep in my bed if it makes you feel better-although I'm reluctant to do that sort of thing, I'll help just because I'm such a good guy". 

"You're voice is trembling! You're the one who wants to feel better! But, fine. If you insist, I'll stay-but just for one night". 

"Of course. Now, get your ass in here it's...chilly out here". 

"Then hurry up and open the door". 

"I-I will. Just a second". 

Gintoki hurridly opened the door when it was finally unlocked. They darted inside, shutting the door and flicking on the light switch. The whole apartment's main room lit up and a sense of ease came over them. They sighed in unison, their hearts still pounding. 

"Um, Gintoki, is it...really alright if I, you know, stay?" 

"Y-yeah, I don't mind. Just don't get too comfortable, it's only for one night". 

"Fine...Uh, th-thanks, again" 

"...No problem. You can use one of my t-shirts to sleep in, since you don't seem to have anything". 

Hijikata nodded, slightly embarrassed at the thought. He could easily go back to his own apartment to get some stuff, but he shivered at the thought. They would be fine in the morning, obviously. That wasn't to their knowledge just yet, so that night was a one-off. It really wasn't part of the plan, though. Sharing a bed? Letting Hijikata use one of his t-shirts? Just what the hell did this turn into? No, nothing. It wasn't anything at all. Just one night where they had to share a bed and get to sleep. Putting it in simple forms made it less unusual, but when conducting this situation, it could only get awkward and strange and uncomfortable. Yes, very, very quickly... 

... 

Gintoki waited for Hijikata, although reluctant to turn off the lamp by his bed. Geez, he was barely thinking about ghouls or ghosts or tokyo ghouls at this point! This just felt so strange now. He'd never actually shared a bed with another guy before, so he naturally felt self-conscious. Luckily it wasn't warm that night, or too cold. It was the right balance for them both to keep a distance from eachother. Still...neither of them could be completely comfortable with this idea. Behind Gintoki, who lay on his side facing the bedroom window, came the distant click of the bathroom light turning off. The area around the room got a little darker. Without turning around, Gintoki heard the creak of his bed. The sound and Hijikata's presence alone sent chills from his neck to the center of his spine. Nothing was gonna happen. Nothing was gonna happen. Nothing was gonna happen. These words repeated in his head, his eyes squeezed just as if pretending to be alseep already. In a moment, there was silence, a dark shadow looming over Gintoki and warmth crawling up his back. The bed creaked underneath, right underneath him, and the matress sunk slightly from the pressure. He could sense something reach out right before he opened his eyes and turned up to see what was looming over him. 

"Uh...H-Hijikata?! Wha-What the hell are you doing?!" 

"Oh, you're awake. Why didn't you say anything? I thought you were sleeping when you left this lamp on, so I was just gonna turn it off'. 

"Oh, uh...Well I wasn't! So, get back and I'll turn it off". 

Hijikata sighed, moving back to the other side of the bed before Gintoki reached out and shut of the light. The room was left in darkness, other than the fair light that shone from the open curtains of the windows. The matress creaked and settled once more once they had both lay down. It was quiet, not a word spoken the whole time. That made this process frustrating. It seemed easier with someone else in the bed, but since it was eachother-being Gintoki and Hijikata-the atmosphere was stagnant and uncomfortable. Well, Gintoki was right: nothing would happen. That thought seemed to be a reality at this point. Only, he wasn't exactly sure how to feel. Relieved or disappointed? The totally hetoralsexual, no homo, just guys friends answer would be relief. The no homo, just guy friends, but we kinda went on two dates and kissed answer would be disappointment. Gintoki bit his bottom lip before taking a deep breath to let the thoughts drift by until they were forgotten. He questioned why he would ne disappointed at that, and then would drop the subject altogether. But, no. He couldn't. It wasn't that easy. 

Suddenly, there was a jitter in the air. A brief noise like a creak in the floorboards or a squeak in the pipes emitted and caught theit attention. 

"What was that?" Hijikata asked. 

"Oi, don't say that. It was nothing. Just...the apartment settling". 

"Gintoki, you heard it too". 

"I didn't hear anything". 

"Well, I did and you-". 

"Hey...!" Gintoki sat up, looking to Hijikata-who still had his back turned-and scowled at him. "It was nothing-nothing's here but us. You got that? Damn wimp". 

"Uh, who did you just call a wimp?!" Hijikata sat up as well, facing Gintoki with a scowl of his own. "I'm not a wimp, I just heard-". 

"Shhh, you didn't hear anything. I don't wanna hear anything more. Now shut your trap and go to sleep you-". 

There was another creak, only this one was more vivid and lasted for another two seconds. 

"You definitely heard that, right?" Hijikata asked, glancing around the room. 

"Y-yeah...I heard it".

As if on cue, they both pulled the covers over their heads like children, bringing their knees to their chests for more space. 

"That had to be the apartment settling, right? Right, Hijikata-kun?" 

"Well, yes, that's a more logical explaination. But you don't think that it's-". 

"Don't. Don't say it-Don't even think it". 

"A-alright, fine. I wasn't even going to say what you were thinking". 

"I wasn't thinking of anything! Don't force thoughts into my head, stupid Mayora!" 

"You're the one who-...Agh! What's the point?! You're just gonna keep back-talking with that big mouth of yours". 

"You know-....?!" 

Another creak, only from above. This was the top floor. The only other thing up there was the building's attic-but no one went up there, as Gintoki had heard. 

"Oh, fuck...What the fuck?!" Gintoki cried in a hushed tone. 

"Look, just...calm down. It's like you said, it is...probably nothing but the apartment settling and...the attic settling. It's nothing". 

"Then why were you the one to overreact in the first place?!" 

"Well, excuse me! Now, can you just shut up so we can get to sleep?" 

"Fine. Whatever. But don't you dare go to sleep before me, ya hear?!" 

"Same to you. Don't you dare fall asleep before I do". 

"Well, shit, then we're stuck at a stalemate. Are you kidding me?" 

"No. Now shut up". 

"You shaddup. Haa...Stupid V-haired Mayora". 

"Natural permed freak...". 

They both lay down once again, only on their backs. There was no way of getting to sleep in this condition. With the fear and the irritation floating around their heads, sleep didn't seem possible at this point. Neither one of them wanted to close their eyes and shut down that easily. After a few minites, the creaking did stop and everything seemed totally silent. Neither of them spoke or fell asleep in that time as it dragged on. They each calmed down, but that didn't make falling alseep any easier. The ceiling looked blander than ever now that Gintoki's eye sight had adjusted to the darkness. In came boredom, a feeling that he wasn't expecting to come along in this situation. Through the silence, and through this boredom, a tune came into Gintoki's head. A familiar tune. He tapped his fingers against his chest as his head hummed along to it. Then, soon enough, his lips mouthed it and began humming along too. 

"Hm-hm-hm, hm-hm-hm, hm-hm~hm-hm. Hm-hm-hm~, hm-hm-hm, hm-hm-hmn, hmhmhm...". 

Hijikata glanced over to Gintoki, narrowing his eyes as he tried to figure out the tune. It did ring a few bells, but from where? He thought about it, pointlessly trying to find the answer until it hit him. Without saying the answer, Hijikata hummed too. Their eyes met once Gintoki realised that Hijikata had caught on. It was the end theme to Spirited Away. A classic song. It was a peaceful moment, played out in unison as they followed the song by memory-very accurate memory. Once momentarily out of breath, came a gasp and then a shared chuckle between them. Silence once more, their eyes averted, but a smile remained on their lips. 

"So, uh, you know the song?" Hijikata asked, going back to their conversation on Ghibli. 

"Yeah. It's a good song. I would have hummed the theme to Attack on Titan, but that takes up way more energy". 

"True. You...are kind of like a child at heart, huh?" 

"Yeah. I always say that you should always have a child within, no matter how old you are". 

"Wow, I don't know whether to pity that or think that it's kind of sweet". 

"Sweet? Well, I am that. Just never thought I'd hear you say it". 

"Hah, maybe that wasn't the right word. Uh...I think it's...well...". 

"Don't worry about it. Stick with it, proudly, so you don't end up embarrassing either of us". 

"Alright, whatever you say. And since when are you sweet?". 

"Since always. Gin-san has always been sweet, I just never expected to hear it from you". 

"I don't think that you're sweet. Just the analogy that you should be a child at heart, no matter what age you are. I've never felt that way, though". 

"How come?" 

Hijikata didn't respond right away. He and Gintoki hadn't known eachother for an incredibly long time, so he felt that it wasn't necessesary to talk about his childhood to him. 

"I just...don't feel like I'm still a child. I'm an adult, so I act like it". 

"The last time I checked, adults don't get scared of ghosts". 

"Oh for the love of-...I'm not scared of ghosts, alright? Now can we drop it?" 

It became quiet once more, but not for long as Gintoki had the idea of a particular topic that he had never shared with anyone before. It wasn't anything too revealing, but it was embarrassing and worth talking about if it distracted him from whatever was out there, fucking with their heads. 

"You know, I'm not scared of ghosts but...I was spooked by one, once". This peaked Hijikata's interests, knowing how stubborn Gintoki was when it came to admitting his fears. 

"Oh, yeah? What happened?" Hijikata rolled on his side, propping his elbow up against the pillow and resting his cheek on the knuckles as he listened with interest. 

"I was a kid, and I didn't expect it to happen-in my defense. But...What happened was that me and some old childhood friends sat together eating rice cakes that we made in class and, well...it was late and we accidentally stayed up later than we should. Now, our teacher at the time was a funny kinda guy. He thought it would be hilarious to take an old decoration from the previous culture festival and hang it over our heads. It was embarrassing 'cause I was the only one to scream upon seeing this thing. I can laugh about it now since I'm not scared of ghosts or spirits. So, yeah...Just in case you wanted to know". 

This was the first time Hijikata had heard about anything from Gintoki's childhood. It was a small fraction compared to many years that seemed lost in the shadows that were Gintoki's memories, but he still shared it with Hijikata. It was funny why Gintoki would tell such a story to Hijikata. 

"I, uh...I used to hate going to the dentist". Hijikata added on, not mentioning the fact that he used to be-and still is-afraid of ghosts. Now this peaked Gintoki's interest as he, too, was afraid to go to the dentist. 

"Really? Have any stories related to that?" 

"Just one in particular. Uh, well, when I was a kid, my...My mother took me at least once every six months. I hated it. She would tell me that there was nothing to be afraid of and that it was just a check-up. Well, one day when I got in the chair I found out that I had to get a tooth removed. When I was shown the tools that would be used, I...I fainted". 

"Wooow, seriously? God, the demon vice-chief can faint?" 

"I was a brat. It's not like I would faint now-ever. I have all my adult teeth now and I'm not anxious about going to the dentist anymore". 

"Pssh, yeah, right. Normally fears from childhood carry out into adulthood". 

"If that's the case, you must really hate going into the haunted house at festivals". 

"Well, I don't hate it. I just know how unrealistic it is and I don't go in because...of...that". 

Hijikata shook his head in disbelief. 

"Liar...". 

"...! That's rude! Gin-san doesn't tell lies-you lie". 

"Haha, what's with the pouty look? You really are a child". 

"Hah, says the guy who's afraid of the dentist-and ghosts". 

"Are you still going on about that? Haa...You're a jerk". 

"Me? You're a jerk for saying I pout like a child". 

"Well, you do". 

"Oh, you pickin' a fight? You wanna go, Mayora? You-...". Gintoki tapped his foot against Hijikata's leg. He didn't care if it hurt or not. 

"Oh, now you're the one picking a fight. Fuckin'...take this!" Hijikata sat up, grabbing his pillow and hitting Gintoki over the head with it. 

"Ack! Asshole! Fight me! You sack of shit!" 

Then Gintoki picked up his pillow, whacking Hijikata over the head with it. It was like a chain reaction. Hijikata hits Gintoki, Gintoki hits back, vise versa, and so on. It went on for a minute or so with whatever energy they both had. There was some laughter between hits, insults being thrown back and forth in a more playful manner than what they usual are. And it seemed that neither of them were fully aware of this as the seconds ticked on and each hit was harder than the last. Eventually, they both fell breathless. Hijikata was the first to go down, having a smoking addiction. It gave Gintoki the chance to kick him while he was down by knocking him over, raising his pillow to award the killing blow. Hijikata reached out, grabbing both of Gintoki's wrists to stop him. 

"Haha, you moron. Cut it out. Haa, haa, I'm struggling...to breathe here". 

"Well, I went cold turkey on smoking, so we're actually even. Haa, haa...Um...". 

"Haa...Uh...". 

With heavy breaths, a moment to look eachother in the eyes and with a more comfortable silence, they both glanced away from eachother. Their smiles disappeared as the reality of the situation unfolded once more. But, oddly enough, it didn't feel so strange. A little awkward, sure, but...not strange. Heat covered Hijikata's cheeks, although it was unclear whether Gintoki could see this in the darkness. It was fine. Gintoki's face got warmer as well from the tension and the silence while being in such a position with Hijikata. His heart pounded, seeing Hijikata beneath him while glancing back and forth at anything but him. The grip on his wrists was loose, Hijikata's fingers shaking while daring to let go. Before he did, before he tried, Gintoki moved with his instincts and and bent his back as much as possible until he was looming over Hijikata, the tips of their noses touching before anything else. It was in that one breathless moment that Gintoki waited for any kind of protest from Hijikata, who was now looking directly into Gintoki's eyes. They were shining, glimmering, but blank all the same as the question silently floated around them in circles for just a few seconds. The impatience and the throbbing in their hearts seemed all too unbearable. Hijikata grasped Gintoki's chin, practically pulling him in to meet at the lips. The tension eased and the kiss was not forced. It was soft and a little wet. That feeling would only deepen as the kiss did. Hijikata licked Gintoki's lips, giving Gintoki the opportunity to be more forward. While Hijikata's lips were still parted, Gintoki pressed his lips back together with Hijikata's while pushing his tongue inside. A moan escaped Hijikata at the foriegn feeling. Yes, it was still very unfamiliar to him-to the both of them. 

Tongues twirled and pushed together, wet and almost slippery. It wasn't easy for Hijikata to be as forward as Gintoki at this point, but he couldn't prevent this aching need to make Gintoki feel the same pleasure-if not more. He ran his tongue over Gintoki's, sucking on it like candy. The response was well received, a surprised moan emitting from Gintoki's throat and a gasp between them both as the kiss parted. Still not used to it...Of course not. There was the leftover tension the pulled them in for several butterfly kisses on the lips, lasting for about a seond each. One, two, three, four butterfly kisses before they fell back into a stare. This was very intimate, but something about it didn't feel quite romantic or anything alike. It was just incredibly nice and new. 

Gintoki pulled away, leaning against the pillows on his elbow while Hijikata remained lying next to him. 

"Hijikata, do you...Haa...How do you feel when we...you know, k-kiss?" Gintoki asked this, feeling awkward as his cheeks reddened. 

"D-don't ask me. I can't really describe it. It's sort of become a thing now, hasn't it?" 

"Suppose it has, would you...wanna stop anytime soon?" 

"Would you?" 

"Ah, come on. I asked first. Haa...fine, if you're gonna be stubborn about it. I...I don't hate it-I think we've established that. But I wouldn't do it if I did hate it, right? In that case, I don't think I would...stop kissing you like we've been doing. It's nice and you're, surprisingly, a pretty good kisser, so-ehem...I, uh...". 

"...Me too". Hijikata muttered, although a little reluctant to show the same feelings as explicitly as that. "I don't hate it either and you're...a good kisser, too". 

They looked at eachother, their minds more open that what they ever were before. Hijikata sat up, pausing, staring at Gintoki with certainty that it would be okay for them to kiss more often. It was true. They both thought this. Knowing that, Hijikata leaned in and placed a kiss on Gintoki's lips. His heart throbbed, as did Gintoki's. There was innocence in this new experience of being intimate with another man. Although bashful and hesitant at first, it seemed that the more they were close with eachother, the more comfortable they felt. "You have to walk before you can run", as they say. They weren't dating, but had gone on dates. They weren't lovers, as they had only kissed. To go any farther was unthinkable as of right now. Right now, they dwelled on the bashfulless and slightly uncomfortability until they were ready to move to the next step. The only question was; "could there be a next step?" 

"So, uh, do you have any more stories you can tell me from when you were a kid?" Hijikata asked, easing back into a quieter, more mellow atmosphere. 

"Heh, uh...I can't really talk about too much. But, if you want, I could tell you about some stories from adulthood that you never heard about". 

"I...I understand. Okay, go for it". 

They both rested their elbows against the matress, propped up in order to listen to eachother's stories. That's how the night went on until they both fell asleep. Things were calm and peaceful that night. Not a creak in the floorboards or an argument gone by the whole time. There was the occassional banter, but nothing that would take up all their energy before midnight. Hijikata was the first to sleep during one of Gintoki's stories. Upon realising, Gintoki swore he's give Hijikata an earful for falling alseep at the best part. However, seeing Hijikata look so peaceful brought out a yawn and a need to slip into the same state. That's when it was quiet, when the gap between them shortened greatly in one night. Who knew that this would happen? That they would inch a little bit closer to eachother without realising? It was incredible. But what was the next step? For them, at this point, there was no turning back. There was only the option of exploring further, whether that was with conversations, dates, more...physical activities-a-anyway, it wasn't on their mind at the moment. For now, what their relationship had become was but a few baby steps compared to whatever else lay ahead. Whatever it was, certainly, it would be worth going the extra distance...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I posted this a lot earlier than I expected, buuut I seriously can't guaruntee that will happen all the time. I could be on time most of the time, and early other times. It's because I've focused more on this next chapter compared to other fanfics. So, yeah. This is a lot earlier than I usually is but I hope the quality of it was worth the short wait. Thanks for reading. Bye. :)
> 
> By the way, I got the inspiration for the childhood story from a Gintama picture on tumblr which was really cute, if anyone has seen it. :)


	8. Family Can Come In Many Forms. It Doesn't Have To Be Obvious.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are again. Back with more

To call someone family doesn't have to depend on blood relation or ancestral roots. Many lovers, spouse and parents were strangers once-finding eachother and one day calling eachother family. In this area of Tokyo, there are many who are not of blood relation, many who simply met under varies circumstances and-although refrain from saying it out loud-know that, at this point, they can be called family. If only it was as clear as that. If only there was less nonsense and banter. But, honestly, without that there wouldn't be a family in the first place, now would there? Just acquaintances and buddies of varies calibre. Without the day-to-day shenanigans, it wouldn't be possible for them to be so close as of now, even if they didn't realise it. For many, family was something yet to be experienced. No, it had to be realised...

"Grrr, come on~Gin-chan~! Just tell me what it is and I'll leave ya be~!" 

"I told you: it's nothing-now mind you're own business!" 

Gintoki's morning started out this way. He never expected to be caught accidentally gawking at an old ramen place napkin that was the only copy of Hijikata's cellphone number. It was given to him the previous afternoon, so that they could organise a time and date to go somewhere if they were both occupied with work and couldn't meet at the apartments. It would be awkward to ask for a new one if he lost it-so it was no wonder he was plagued with so much regret for his previous mix of emotions. Even if it was Hijikata's, Gintoki had never before received a phone number from anyone who he had gone on a date with. He had so many new experiences with Hijikata that you usually start having as a teenager. It was awkward at the moment-which discouraged him to call too soon. It was just a phone number, though. What next, they exchange e-mail address'? Friendhship braclets? Gintoki had to admit that the idea of calling Hijikata for any reason other than to invite him somewhere seemed off in his book. He didn't know what to think about this sudden "friendly" relationship with Hijikata that wasn't intended to be "friendly" in the first place. It was nice-sure. But the fact that he was embarrassed and felt defensive towards Kagura's burst of curiosity about this mysterious ramen place napkin made him question his inner feelings about doing these things with Hijikata. He got so worked up about it, too. 

"If it's nothing, I can see it and ease my curiosity, then, right? Now lemme see!" 

"Gah! You're too nosy for you're own good, ya know!" 

"Ugh, you sound like my stupid brother. Now give it here!"

"It's none of your business!" Kagura backed off from her attempts in grabbing the now crumbled up napkin from Gintoki. She crossed her arms and glanced away from Gintoki. 

"Hmph! Sounds suspicious. Really suspicious. I'll get to the bottom of it, for sure. You can't hide anything from me, aru".

"I don't get why you're so persistent anyway. It's not like it has anything to do with you". 

"Yes it does. I wanna look out for Gin-chan. If you're really dating the Mayora, I wanna make sure he treats you right". 

"Are you back to this again?! I've told you, you've gone crazy if you think there's anything between me and him. I like women, Kagura. Not mayonnaise addicted, tax robbing assholes with a death wish from yours truely. He pisses me off, doesn't give me a break whenever we meet and is totally undatable in the first place". 

"Oh, yeah? Well, ever since he moved in next door you've been acting really strangely. You've been going out more, you come home smelling like cigarettes and you're acting suspicious about a napkin. My guess is he gave you his phone number, since you've been gawking at it-probably wondering when you should call. Am I right?" 

Kagura crossed her arms over, a smug expression crossing her face after she presented her deduction skills. She wasn't totally wrong, although that was a massive pain in the ass for Gintoki. He sighed and rolled his eyes. She was never going to let this go until he was perfectly honest with her. She had pretty much figured it out anyway. Gintoki didn't want to waste the energy trying to come up with a valid excuse that would ultimately prove Kagura wrong. He sat on the living room armchair, guiding Kagura to sit with him on the armrest as he explained. 

"Fine, Miss Detective. You're not wrong, but...Hijikata and I aren't dating, alright? We've only gone out a few times-that's it". 

"Have you, uh...kissed?" 

Gintoki turned his head away at that, his cheeks becoming ever so slightly flustered as he got all defensive and whiny again. 

"Pff-th-that isn't any concern of yours! Are you kidding me?!" 

"So yes?" 

"No! I'm not gonna go into any detail other than "we've gone out a few times", alright?! Don't just assume stuff like that! Damn brat...too nosy for her own good".

"Hmph! Whatever you say, Gin-chan...Whatever you say...". 

Kagura seemed disappointed. Gintoki would think that this sort of stuff wouldn't interest her. She would be more likely to feel disgust rather than curiosity about the whole thing. Perhaps because this was the first time she had heard of Gintoki being involved with anyone before. He never talked about stuff like that. Anything that came close to that was Gintoki's crush on the weather reporter, Ketsuno Ana. And most of that involved adult fantasies that Kagura would never speak of. It just wasn't something for conversation; Gintoki's past relationships or crushes. He didn't appear to be the type of guy to have a crush on anyone rather than Ketsuno Ana, nevermind the Mayora next door. So it was certainly bizarre to see him get defensive and even a little flustered over that guy-who was definitely, no questions asked, a guy. Kagura couldn't quite wrap her brain around it, knowing how often they fight. Kagura looked to Gintoki for more answers, her curiosity driving her to ask the more innocent questions if Gintoki wasn't gonna give any juicy details. 

"So...Do you at least like eachother?" She asked simply. 

"That...That isn't really something I can answer. We like things about eachother-but that's all I'm saying". 

"Fine. Be that way. Guess there would be no point in asking him since he'd probably react just as badly as you did. Adults are weird". 

"Yeah, we're the weird ones when you kids are the one's asking weird questions".

Kagura swiftly made her exit, hopping off of the chair's armrest before storming off into her bedroom. As the noise faded, silence easing itself into the room, Gintoki flattened out the napkin once more, hoping that the number wasn't smudged or that the material wasn't torn anywhere. It wasn't, luckily. He would have to write the number down within the little black address book that he neglected. Otose gave it to him for future use if he found a new publisher or any type of work beyond his current office. That wouldn't happen for years, he thought. Knowing the old hag, he knew he wouldn't have to go publisher hunting anytime in the near future. He headed to his desk, opening up one of the several unused drawers as he needlessly searched and swiftly found his address book. He opened it up to the second page, the first merely containing some numbers of his peers like Zura and even Sakamoto. Thank god he didn't have Gintoki's number. Although, as CEO of the company, Sakamoto could probably get it if he made the effort to. Displaying the napkin, Gintoki glanced back and forth while scribbling down Hijikata's number. Next to it he wrote "Mayora", as if it was a substitute for a silly caller's ID. He didn't have a cellphone, so he had to have fun the old fashioned way and write a silly or insulting name in his address book. He wondered what Hijikata had called Gintoki on his cellphone's contact list. Probably something original like "Sugar Freak" or "Natural Perm". 

Gintoki stared at the assortment of numbers that was Hijikata's phone number. It felt odd and foriegn, receiving a phone number from someone of...let's say "romantic interest". It had never happened before in Gintoki's life. Usually women avoid him because they always assumed the worst about him. But Hijikata...Hijikata didn't judge him based on looks, despite making fun of his naturally wavy hair and dead-looking fish eyes. It was a pleasant feeling to know that Hijikata liked particular traits in Gintoki's personality. Plus, this was mutal. Hijikata wasn't all bad. He could get flustered and nervous quite easily around Gintoki when they're intimate with eachother, compared to how stiff and ill-tempered Hijikata usually is. However, that intimacy has only gone so far. They haven't made many attempts to explore anything else. No reason to rush into it either. At the moment, it was all about comfortability. That was the main focus. For two guys who were originally heterosexual, and techniqally still are, being with a guy in "that" way was something to obviously be shy about. But this new interest they had in eachother made it a little easier to make a development in this "relationship". All they had done was kiss so far. They hadn't made any moves to go further. That would have to take time. Quite a bit of time, actually. If it wasn't for them then they could stop what they were doing and try to go back to normal. Gintoki thought this as he put away his address book. Back to normal...Was that even possible at this point? 

... 

Once Kagura had entered her room, she could silently complain in her head about Gintoki. She did so on many occasions anyway, but this was on a whole other level. She could never imagine him and Hijikata being like "that". The only thing she was satisfied with was that he couldn't afford the energy to make up pointless excuses and just told her the truth. Although, he seemed awfully reluctant to admit that they were dating and just said that they had gone out a few times. Kagura flopped onto her desk chair, allowing her head and arms to fall onto its surface. Grown-ups were strange. That thought passed through her head as she lifted her gaze to the surface of her desk. A letter, unopened and neglected since its arrival, lay flat. It had only arrived the previous morning, still untouched. Kagura was skeptical to read the letter within, but she didn't have much choice, since her conscience would get in the way and force her to open it and read it later on. Might as well get it over with now. She sat up properly, taking the envelope in hand and carefully tearing it open. Pulling out the letter, Kagura swiftly opened it and began to read.

To my dear Kagura...(It began). 

How are you? How is school? I hope you're still attending. It has been a long time since we have spoken through letter, nevermind face to face. The U.S is an interesting place and I have learned a lot this past year. I will be heading to Canada soon. I wish you could have come along with me. Staying in Japan with that monster known as your brother is a bad idea. If he ever hurt you, I would never be able to forgive him or myself. For your sake, I want you to stay away from him. I understand your concerns and that you want to follow your mother's wishes, but I wouldn't be telling you this if I didn't care. You understand how dangerous he is. One day I'll come for him myself and give him the proper disipline. Until that day comes, stay with Sakata-san. I know he's taking good care of you, despite his stinking attitude. He makes fun of my hair when he's the one carrying a mop all year 'round. Anyway, if you change your mind, send a letter saying so. I advise that you do. Kamui is not your responsibility. He's mine; as his father. Take care, Kagura. I wish you the best. When I return to Japan next Spring, I'll be sure to visit and make sure that you haven't met any boys because no one deserves you, not even a father like me. 

Sincerely Umibouzu, Your Loving Papi. 

Kagura placed down the note, leaning back in her chair with a sigh. He never gives up, does he. This wasn't the first time that Umibouzu has attempted to convince Kagura to leave Japan. He's so persistent too. She understood that Kamui was dangerous. She never forgot what he did all those years ago, what he...tried to do. Back then she had never felt so powerless, weak and childish. The images and the memories would often loop in her mind as she silently wondered if things could have been different. It would be a lie if she said that she didn't want things to go back the way they were. A family of four living in their small house within Kyoto, peacefully and happily like a normal family. That didn't work out the way Kagura wanted. First her mother passed away, then Kamui attacked her Papi and was sent to juvy, Kagura ended up moving to Tokyo by herself when her Papi decided to explore the world. She ended up wandering Tokyo with nowhere really to go, and then found Gintoki and Shinpachi. No one ever returned to that little house in Kyoto. No one would ever return. What was left of her family...well, everyone had gone their separate ways a long time ago. In the end, there wasn't much left. Nearly nothing left but old memories and the promise Kagura decided to keep for her mother. 

("Kagura, look after Kamui for me. I know you can keep him out of trouble, or at least be there for him when he needs it. Even if he says he doesn't"). 

Kagura still believed that. She still believed that she could keep Kamui from going to a real prison this time. Kagura was determind to do so. She wanted to hold whatever was left of her family, despite the struggle and how hard they try to pull away. She just...She didn't want to be left alone again. 

Unexpectedly, there was a brief knock at the door. Kagura, feeling the tears squeeze their way out of her eyes, quickly wiped them away in haste and responded without letting her voice tremble. 

"Y-yeah, Gin-chan?" 

The door opened and Gintoki entered. 

Hey, Kagura, I was just wondering-...Is something wrong?" He seemed to stop in the middle of whatever he was going to say to ask such a silly question. At least it was silly to Kagura. 

"N-no, I'm fine. Er, what did ya wanna ask, Gin-chan?" 

There was a pause before Gintoki made the silent decision to approuch Kagura. He didn't know what was wrong, and he wasn't one to pry. But seeing Kagura act so timid and quiet was unusual. He figured that something had to be wrong if she wasn't going to face him and be up-front about things. He leaned against her desk, as if almost sitting on its surface. He looked down at Kagura, who had her head lowered in order to hide the red in her eyes. He glanced down towards the letter that caught his eye. He remembered receiving that the day before, unopened. Guess that baldy bastard decided to remind her of the wrong things. Guy has no consideration for his daughter. 

"That letter from your old man?" He asked, although knowing exactly who it was from. 

Kagura sniffled and nodded, raising her head as if proving to Gintoki that she wasn't crying. This wasn't the time to lecture her about the same things that the old man constantly lectured Kagura about-as he had picked up briefly from the letter. Time to act like the guardian he was suppose to be. 

"Hm...I'm jealous, you know". He said, smiling. Kagura looked up to Gintoki in wonder. "It's nice of the old man to write, even if he does spout over-protective nonsense. I don't even know who my old man is. It's hard to think about sometimes, but I'm glad that you have such a caring father, Kagura. So humor him when he asks you to come travelling with him, be kind to him. You're home's here, after all. And it's kinda fun having an obnoxious brat around, even if you do give me headaches sometimes". 

Gintoki ruffled Kagura's hair before making his exit. Though, he didn't get far as he felt a pair of arms squeeze around his waist and a snotty nose rubbed against his back. 

"Don't cry, Gin-chan. You can share the baldy if you want! I'll be like a Daddy to you if you want". 

"By any stretch of logic, I'm more the father figure to you!" 

"I can come to your baseball tournaments and give you useless advice about girls and call you weird nicknames like "Sport" and "Tiger" or "Chump" or "Chimp"!" 

"What sort of father calls his kid "Chimp"?! A gorilla?! Haa, Kagura, it's fine. I'm a big boy, I can manage". 

"You sure?" 

"I'm positive. But thanks, anyway". 

Of course, Gintoki was alright in the first place. He had come to terms with not having any parents a long time ago. In fact, he's never thought about it. The only reason it came up now was to make Kagura feel a little better about her useless father. Because, in the end, useless or not, he's still her Papi. 

"Now, come on, get off. I told you: I hate clingy women". 

"Sure thing, Gin-chan. Anything you want". Kagura pulled away, a smile finally on her face. 

"Now, I was gonna ask: Do you wanna go out for dinner tonight with Shinpachi and me? It's been a while since we've done anything together because of either school or work. We can go anywhere and you can order anything you like". 

"Hmm...Can we go to that korean barbeque? The one where that guy burned his face on the stove and had to be taken to hospital?" 

"Yeah. Didn't you kick him into it when you tried to steal his plate?" 

"I did indeed. Can we go there?" 

"Sure, I'll tell Shinpachi to meet us there. But we can't take too long because I'm, uh...I'm busy". 

Kagura arched her eyebrow, looking at Gintoki suspiciously. 

"Busy with Hijikata-san~?" She asked, grinning a toothed grin. 

"None of your beeswax. Now go do your chores. I have to finish work". 

"I'll do them if you tell me what you and the Mayora are getting up to. Just don't tell me if it's indecent". 

"Kagura...Chores". 

That dad-like command sent Kagura out of the room with puffed out cheeks and a look of disappointment. Other than that small request to do chores, Gintoki would want Kagura to live by her own rules, just not under his roof where he had to keep things as tidy as he could manage. It wasn't like he was organised, just tidy enough so that the house didn't smell of dog shit or trash. Anyway, he watched Kagura get on with whatever chores she was given. It was considered an achievement, in his eyes, to make Kagura smile. It was a bother, but Gintoki was almost like a father figure to Kagura, even if her real old man wasn't around to fill that role. It wasn't his intention, it just turned out that way at some point. It seemed to just...fit. Kagura did secretly feel the same connection. Gintoki really was like a dad, although an odd one. He was lazy, unorganised, gave weird advice and only showed up when it really mattered. Sounded like a dad to her. Of course, she wouldn't use that word. He was her guardian above anything else, and a friend. He sure had a habit of acting like a dad, though. She realised that she didn't need to hold on desperately to keep her family together, at least not alone. She had a helping hand or two, including Shinpachi. The thought made her smile, a sweet and gentle smile that had not crossed her lips in a long time. Well, that wasn't entirely true. She smiled like that before, quite recently, more than once around the people she saw as family. Yeah...Now she remembered. 

... 

A cool breeze swayed in to a balcony high up in one of the many smaller apartments of Tokyo. From the open glass doors, the clicking of knitting needles joined the whistling of the wind. It was a quiet beginning to summer. Tsukuyo stared out, her gaze blank as she spaced-out, looking up at the sky with wandering thoughts as the breeze laced through her loose hair. The hung up laundry swayed, brushing against her skin and giving her goosebumps that woke her up from her daydream. She glanced back inside the dimly lit apartment, the lights off to save energy and to appreciate the sun's glow. Underneath its beam, within the apartment, was Hinowa. Her smile was gentle, relaxed and her eyes were soft and peaceful even as she focused on such a difficult task. By now her fingers were red from making loops, her legs still and thin. The scars were still as visible as the memories they tried to forget. Those days were over, so why not enjoy the sun while they're out of the dark? That's what Hinowa once said. Since then, she smiled under the sun's light, allowing the cool draft to drift in the dim room. Tsukuyo wondered many times why Hinowa could be so happy and content. But seeing the life they lived now...It was certainly better than what it used to be. 

Tsukuyo took a deep breath and let out a sigh before picking up their pearl white laundry basket once more. She carried it inside, leaving the door open for Hinowa. The basket was placed in the usual corner, allowing Tsukuyo to get on with other chores. 

"Isn't it boring here?" She asked, picking up the kettle and holding it under the kitchen sink's cold faucet. She turned it on, allowing the water to run for a few seconds. "Wouldn't you rather go outside? We could bring Seita along". 

"That's a nice thought". Hinowa answered, still focusing on her activity. "But I wouldn't want to trouble you with taking the wheelchair. It must be heavy for you". 

"I don't mind. Besides, I'm used to lugging around heavy things, like drunken perverts at the club". 

"You know you don't have to work there. Why not take a university course? Or even find a different line of work?" 

"Sorry, Hinowa. I can't leave the girls. They need me to keep fat old men from touching them, hitting them or worse". 

Tsukuyo was one of the few female bouncers of any club in Tokyo. But she handled the job well and was protective of the other girls. She had to be, knowing that she would have been in the same place had she not scarred her face. She wanted to be strong and not subject to the drunken mess' that wander into the club and violate those poor girls with their eyes, and sometimes and idiot would try it with his grubby hands. She couldn't abandon them. 

"I understand that much. I was like those girls once, only I was kept in a cage. So I understand your concerns for them". 

"Well, you're not in a cage anymore. Housen's gone, so you don't need to worry". 

"Hm, that was all thanks to Gin-san, wasn't it? Such a brave and strong young man. I can see where your interest lies". 

Tsukuyo's face flushed, her mind trying to make up a quick protest to that accusation. 

"I-I have...no interest in Gintoki whatsoever. There's no..."interest"-I gave that up. My womanhood, I mean. I don't care for men, especially in my line of work". 

"Oh, don't give me that. You've been sighing all day~". 

"It really isn't like that, okay? He's a friend...A perverted and idiotic friend". 

Tsukuyo boiled the water in the kettle, waiting patiently for the steam to rise from its spout. She composed herself in the mean time. Gintoki was just a friend. Nothing more, but...She would be lying if she said that she didn't feel a close connection with him. They both had a lot in common. Saying that out loud would give people the wrong idea. Tsukuyo wasn't lazy or childish or big-headed. It's just that Gintoki was strong and brave and cared deeply for those close to him. In other words, Tsukuyo could see herself in his shoes.

"He's a friend you seem to like very much". Hinowa persisted. 

Tsukuyo just rolled her eyes. Seemed like Hinowa's motherly tendancies effected Tsukuyo as well. It was like a mother talking to her teenage daughter about boys, or a particular boy in this case. Tsukuyo finished preparing the tea, placing the cups of a small circular tray before bringing them over to the table in the center of the room. Setting the tray down, Tsukuyo kneeled on the floor as comfortably as she could possibly get. She placed one of the steaming cups to Hinowa, her hand suddenly held firmly but not forcefully. Looking up at Hinowa for doing such an action, Tsukuyo saw the smile on her face and the gentle look in her eyes. 

"And I'm sure he likes you too. Give him a chance". 

"Hinowa, we're not having this discussion. I gave up my womanhood to protect you and Seita-my family. You're all I want to focus on, so I refuse to run off with some guy, who's just a friend, in order to live a normal, boring life. My place is here, with you, Seita and the girls". 

After a long pause, Hinowa finally retracted her hand, an almost guilty expression on her face. 

"It would be much easier if I could walk, you know. Then you wouldn't have to spend your life worrying about me so much". 

"...I don't mind looking after you. In fact, once I get the money for your surgery, I'll continue to stay here. I want to stay here, Hinowa. Nothing would make me happier". 

"...I know Gintoki does. You're in love with him, aren't you?" 

Tsukuyo tensed up, hiding her clenched fists from under the table. 

"Even if...Even if that were true...I still wouldn't abandon you and Seita. Please understand that, Hinowa. You guys are the only family I have. We're not perfect, but who says we should be?" 

Although it was hard to admit, Tsukuyo did harbour feelings for Gintoki that she chose to bury within her heart. She couldn't say that they were feelings of love or romance, but a connection she had never felt towards anyone before. But for the sake of her family, she wished to keep those feelings buried. Besides, with that guy, there was no telling if he felt the same or just said those perverted things as a joke. Hinowa just smiled, her mind at ease. 

"If that's what you want, Tsukuyo. But I will not confine you here to take care of me forever. If you wish to follow your own path, whatever that may be, I won't stop you. Of course, no matter what you do choose, we'll always be a family". 

"I know. Thank you, Hinowa". 

In that moment, they both smiled kindly at eachother, reaching out to take the other's hand as a sister and a friend. They shared this moment for only a few seconds as the front door was swiftly opened, bringing their gazes towards this sudden arrival. It was Seita, rushing into the house with a big smile on his face.

"Oh, honey, there you are". Hinowa greeted her sun, watching him approuch the table. "Why are you back so suddenly? Weren't you with uour friends?" 

"I was, but they had stuff to do at home so I came back here to see you guys. Hey, Tsuuki". 

"Hey, kiddo. Um, now that you're here, do you maybe wanna go back outside with your mom and me? We could go anywhere". 

"Really? I saw that the park was pretty empty. Are we going, Mom? Would that be okay?" 

Hinowa's smile seemed to brighten at that. Looking towards the open balcony door, she considered it. It was a nice day today. Sunny, warm, peaceful. It couldn't hurt. 

"Of course it would be okay. I could make a lunch as well". 

"Cool. Can I help out, Mom? We learned how to make bento boxes at school, so I can definitely help". 

"If that's what you want. Tsukuyo, would you like to help?" 

"Sure, but I'm not much of a cook". 

"Mom and I can teach you, Tsuuki. It's no problem". 

Tsukuyo could never leave this for anyone. Even if there was so much of the world yet to be seen after spending most of their lives in the darkness, they seemed so comfortable living this way. All three of them in that small, cosy apartment. Finances were tough sometimes and Hinowa needed assistance with quite a few things, but they were happy. None of them were related by blood, but they made up a family. Just seeing them smile everyday was more than enough to keep them together. Their pasts seemed like such a distant memory when looking at what they had become now. 

"Hey, Tsuuki, could you help me with Mom? Quit spacing out". 

"Aw, crap, sorry. I'll get the chair". 

"Seita, are you sure you can carry me?" 

"Absolutely. I wanna be strong like Big Bro or Tsuuki one day. Although, I doubt I'd be able to sweep Tsuuki off her feet like he can, if ya know what I mean". 

Hinowa giggled at that. Tsukuyo sighed deeply, but still smiled. She wish she could say that wasn't possible. But she kept that to herself, as well as the thought that Gintoki would have to wait. Right now, the family she had right in front of her was just as important as explaining her feelings for him. "Like that would ever happen", she thought, smiling. 

... 

The afternoon rolled in quicker than expected. Being a college student on a day off with no desire to hang out with others and no girlfriend was boring. It wasn't like Okita wanted a girlfriend. Having one would be a huge pain in the ass-it would get too boring too quickly, especially with the wishy-washy women that attend his college. The most fun he got as of recently was from teasing the China Girl and watching her varies reactions. If not that, it was more fun to try and kill Hijikata. Against the law or not, Okita just wanted rid of that mayo addict. Maybe he could ask Danna for help, knowing it would be a huge weight off his shoulders as well. Although, thinking back, Hijikata had been acting strangely ever since he moved next door to Gintoki. It wasn't frustration or anger that Okita often saw. It was more like a defensive wall that Hijikata had put up around himself at the mention of Gintoki. That's what it was like about a week or go, yet he seems a lot more collected now. Odd...Very, very odd.

With his hands stuffed inside his pants pockets, Okita strolled in an empty street. His glanced up to the sky, a bright orange glow filling it as the afternoon sun set in the distance. It wasn't so cold anymore. Summer had really begun already, huh? That meant summer vacation. And that meant more boredom. He continued his casual walk to the convenience store, just to pick up a few things before continuing to study at the apartment. As an apprentice of the police department, it was advisable that he try and make proper meals three times a day. However, he couldn't cook much and didn't have the time to learn or even make simple things. Plus, he had a bit of a tight budget at the moment. Renting an apartment alone is tough on your bank account when you have to pay for neccesities and such as well. With the qualifications and graduation from both college and his apprentiship, Okita could work full time at the station and become a proper cop. The only thing that pissed him off was that Hijikata would still look down on him due to age and work positions. It was...frustrating. Incredibly frustrating. 

Okita had spaced-out. When he realised was the moment that the convenience store automatic doors slid open and the odd dinging above the doors rang out as someone stepped out of the store. Okita raised his head, his eyes focusing away from the pavement below and, instinctively, towards the person who exited. For a second-a split of a second-he thought that his eyes had deceived him. Luckily enough, or perhaps it was unlucky, he saw what he thought he saw exit the convenience store with a smile that seemed affixed to the person's face, that ginger hair and pale skin...Okita put his guard up slightly, watching this person begin to walk past him without a word. It was odd how...Kamui, an infamous gang leader in Tokyo, could just waltz into a convenience store and walk back out without a cop or two escorting him to their car. There were two reasons why Okita knew about Kamui and his relation to the China Girl in the first place. One: she had mentioned him previously. And two: Okita managed to catch a glimpse of Kamui's old record while going over study material. That kid had an old record for spending time in juvy after attacking and dismembering his father's left arm in a brutal attempt to murder him. And the reason why Okita bothered to remember such a file among many others counted for two reasons also. One: Okita originally thought that he recognised that face. That face resembling Kagura, the China Girl. And two: he could feel some sadistic connection towards that guy who carried such an ominous and ambiguous smile. Seriously, how insane do you have to be to cut off your own father's arm? Pretty fucked up, as Okita could imagine. 

He found this to be a good opportunity to get acquainted with him, just to see how bad this guy was in a conversation. It was interesting, and could be a good way to pass the time. 

"Oi, you're...the China Girl's big brother, aren't you?" Okita asked, turning back towards Kamui. 

As expected, Kamui stopped just as few short centimeters away from Okita, still smiling. He turned to face Okita, the umbrella he carried shrouding out most of his expression. Why would he carry that? It wasn't raining. Already, without a word from Kamui, Okita already got the impression that this guy was a nut case. But when there's a rotten onion, the layers underneath are even worse. 

"I beg your pardon, but...are you talking to me?" Kamui asked, tilting his head slightly to the side as if puzzled. 

"Of course. You see anyone else here?"

"Yes, that is true. But I suppose the only reason you would ask is because you're well acquainted with my little sister, huh?" 

"You could say that". 

"Haha, why so vague? What, are you her boyfriend or something? Although, that's no concern of mine". 

Okita scoffed at that statement. Both, actually. Kamui spoke so casually about such a sensitive, and incorrect, topic with that smile as if he was making small talk. If a sibling suspected that, wouldn't they usually be concerned or over-protective, especially if the guy was four years older and was a total sadist. Yes, Kamui had that kind of hunch right away considering that Okita didn't appear to be the friendly type-in his eyes at least. Again, this was just a hunch. 

"Of course not. She's too young for me and is an annoying brat. But say I was, would you care?" 

"Not really. She could do what she likes. I expect her to feel the same way about my life. When you see her, tell her to mind her own business". 

"Meaning what? She knows you're part of a clique?" 

Kamui grinned. It would have been intimidating if Okita wasn't a sadist with a strong will. The fact that Okita didn't lose his cool proved Kamui's hunch right. 

"That's brave of you to say out loud, and to my face. We're quite private, so not a lot of people know about us except the police And, well, I suppose my sister has been talking too much". 

"She hasn't". Okita responded swiftly, and honestly. "I'm...I'm a cop, that's how I know". 

"Hee, you look too young to be a cop. Or, what, are you trying to protect my little sister? How sweet of you". 

"Don't get the wrong idea, smartass. As if I'd stick up for a string bean like her. I take an apprenticeship". 

"Oh? You are brave. A lot of cops don't tend to admit to being cops ever since we came around. We're kinda a big threat to you guys, as I'm sure you've heard. For you to admit that, either your really brave or really stupid". 

"Hah, you don't scare me. You think I'd be intimidated by a douchebag like you? As if. You're related to the China Girl so you're probably not as tough as they say". 

"Eh? You comparin' me to that twerp? You really are stupid. Because of that, I don't think I can go easy on you when I start beating the crap outta ya". 

The two approuched eachother, Kamui dumping the convenience store back on the concrete below and leaning his now closed umbrella against the wall carefully. Okita wasn't expecting a fight today, especially with a gang leader. Well, he wasn't working, so why not? It could definitely be fun. This guy did seem strong, and had the balls to stand his ground. Okita was the same in Kamui's eyes. A possible challange that lay ahead. They both even readied their fists, preparing to make swing after swing. This could only end badly, surely. But just as they approuched eachother... 

"Sougo...?" 

A voice stopped them both from making any move to start violence. They both looked in the direction of the voice, by the convenience store. Okita's eyes widened. Hijikata...It was Hijikata. He wasn't in uniform, so his shift must have just ended. It was weird seeing him dress in a more casual set of clothes, such as dark pants and a v-neck sweater that made his v-shaped hair stand out more. 

"What are you doing around here? Is that...?" 

"Well, I'd better be going..."Sougo". Maybe we can spar another time, and maybe fight as well. I look forward to it". Kamui picked up his umbrella and plastic bag, swiftly turning around and flashing a grin at Okita. "Until then, bye-bye~". Kamui dashed off, not wasting any time around Okita and Hijikata. 

"Oi, Kamui! That little bastard!" Hijikata approuched Okita, almost running past him in a short-lived attempt to go after Kamui. 

"Relax, Hijikata-san. He didn't do anything". 

"Ack...". Hijikata took out a cigarette box from his pants pocket, quickly placing one between his lips and lightening it. "Are you insane?" He asked, right after he took a drag. "You shouldn't be talking with someone like him. The police have been monitoring him and his gang for months now. We told him that if he ever slipped up, we'd send him to an adult prison this time. After what he did all those years ago...it's lucky that the court didn't make an excpetion for a monster like him. Gets it from his father, most likely". 

Hijikata was well-informed about this particular case. It had been going on for a couple years and was well-known in the police department. It was amazing to think that the person in the middle of it all was the China Girl. Such a bratty and obnoxious girl...with a brother like that. Honestly, it seemed clear to Okita which was worse, though he wisely chose to keep that opinion to himself. 

"Hm? Sougo, how come you're out here anyway? Aren't you suppose to be studying?" 

"Gimme a break, "Mom". I just came to get some things for the apartment, then I'm heading back to study. How come you're here? Get lost?" 

"Like hell that would happen. I'm picking up some minor things too, and then I'm heading back to the apartment. That's all. I haven't been able to properly go grocery shopping in a while, so this is as much as I can do". 

It would be a pain to go into the store with Hijikata. They naturally didn't take too kindly to eachother in the first place, mostly on Okita's part ever since he started it. And it annoyed him how mature Hijikata acted about it, as if making Okita out to be the child. Everything about Hijikata pissed him off.

"You comin'?" Hijikata asked Okita as he threw down his half-finished cigarette, heading towards the store. Okita rolled his eyes with a deep sigh. Why was he acting so friendly all of a sudden? It was weird. 

... 

The store had become quiet, the only three occupants being Hijikata, Okita and a young female employee who was busy organising the magazine shelf by the window. With a basket in hand, Hijikata and Okita picked out varies and odd items from the different shelves. It certainly wouldn't last a week, but the items were neccessary for convenience-hense the whole purpose of the store, of course. Neither of them spoke a word of the earlier incedent or about anything else really. They were both quiet anyway, yet it was odd how this was the first time they were ever quiet around eachother. They're usually so talkative around an audience. 

"So-ehem...". Hijikata finally spoke, probably sick of the awkward silence by now. Okita didn't ask for a conversation, however, so why start one? "How are your studies going? Everything okay at college?" 

"Tch, what's with that? You sound like an awkward step-dad". 

"Don't get the wrong idea. I just don't want to find out that you've been slacking off. Wouldn't surprise me". 

"Okay, now you're sounding like a real dad. Could you stop? It's weird". 

"I'm not intending to sound like a dad! Haa...Look, I don't want to pry into that whole business with Kamui, but I have to as a cop and your superior. I just wasn't sure how to talk my way around it, knowing how secretive you can be. Tell me the truth, Sougo. What did he say to you?" 

"Not much. We were just talking about the China Girl". 

"Ah, that's right. He's her older brother, huh? You can really see the resemblence, in some apects, I suppose". 

They obviously looked alike-very alike in this case. Although their personalities were completely divided. Anyone could see that. 

"He really doesn't care about her, does he? If he wanted, he could have harmed her all those years ago as well. Don't you think?" 

"You sound concerned for her". 

"That's what he said. But you're both wrong. I'm not concerned for the China Girl. She's a big girl, she can fight her own fights, even if she is a string bean". 

Hijikata smirked, holding in a chuckle. Okita looked at him, confused and also a little disgusted by Hijikata's reaction. 

"What? What's so funny?" 

"Oh, nothing. But it sounds to me like you really do care about her. Guess you're still at that age when you'll bully or tease the girl you like". 

"The hell? Hijikata, that's totally disgusting. What's with that smirk? Wipe it off your face before I smack it off". 

"Oi, watch your mouth. I'm still your superior, so no threats". 

"Whatever, old man...".

Okita couldn't imagine caring about the China Girl, nevermind "liking" her. And there was a fine line between those two in his book, both best avoided. The only thing that really bothered him was Kamui's behaviour as an older brother. Okita wasn't an older brother himself, but a spoiled little brother who saw for himself what a good older sibling was. Kamui was not. In fact, it was his job to care about Kagura-and he didn't. Okita was a sadist who found amusment in seeing others get pushed down, branded in the eyes of the bully as a weakling. He condoned such acts and commited them himself. However, from having such a kind and loving sister for years who took care of him and even spoiled him, Okita felt his blood boil when remembering how indifferent Kamui was about his little sister. It was a strange feeling, one that Okita had never experienced before. Sickening...It was a sickening feeling. 

"Sougo? Sougo, stop spacing out. You coming to the cashier? You're paying for your own stuff, you know". 

"I'll see you outside, Hijikata. Thanks for paying for my stuff". 

"Eh...?!" Okita walked towards the exit, a smug smirk on his lips. "Oi, didn't you hear me you brat?! I'm not paying for your stuff!" 

"Uh, hello. Welcome to the store. Do you want me to pack those items for you?" 

The young lady who was previously organising the magazine rack in the corner was now standing behind the counter with a smile. Hijikata sighed deeply. He had to pay for Sougo's stuff...Little brat... 

... 

Once the evening fell into place, the sky turning darker by the hour, the streets would fill up again with people used to getting nearly no sleep. It was the opposite for Gintoki and Kagura as they wandered down the streets after dropping Shinpachi off at his apartment building. Actually, it was more like Gintoki was doing the walking while Kagura hitched a free ride on his back due to her satisfied stomach-since she ate so much at the restaurant. Her legs had apparently weakened and her mind went blank as she felt herself get sleepy. So Gintoki had no choice but to carry her home. It was an ordeal, too. She was heavy and had a bad habit of clinging to Gintoki. He rolled his eyes, pulling her up with one swift jolt before she would slip and fall and possibly crack her skull on the concrete below. He knew he was getting to old for this. His back was already in discomfort from carrying a fourteen-year-old girl down a few blocks, and maybe even up a goddamn staircase. A staircase...Not happening. 

"Kagura, you're not actually sleeping, are you? Come on, give Gin-san a break. He's an old man". No response. "Oi, ya stubborn brat, wake up". 

Gintoki jolted Kagura's body again, a groan escaping out of idleness and defeat. 

"Okay, okay, I'm awake. But don't stop carrying me until we get home. I'll use whatever energy I have to convince you to carry me up the staircase". 

"Ugh...Carry yourself up the stairs. I'm not your servant, I'm techniqally your landlord-even though you never pay rent". 

"You sound like Granny". 

"...? How do you know what she sounds like?" 

"She used to be your landlord, right? She told me 'cause I asked her if she knew you before you became a writer". 

"Oh, yeah? What did she say?" 

"Hmm...She didn't tell me much, just that you were a lousy tenant in her house for a while who didn't pay rent and roleplayed an okama for a while". 

"...! I-it wasn't roleplaying-and I wasn't an okama! It was a job, it was money, I took it! Alright?! God, you women and your gossip...". 

Job or not, that was a past memory only worth forgetting. Vaguely, Gintoki could still remember the tightness of the dress they gave, squeezing his ass cheeks. He cringed. Good thing he became a writer when he did, otherwise he would be working odd jobs for the rest of his life, or become Yorozuya. It didn't sound too bad, but if one of those jobs involved wearing a woman's dress again, he'd rather pass. 

"Gin-chan, what were you doing before you became a writer? Did you have another job, or...?" 

"It's nothing worth talking about, Kagura. Just something to put behind me so I can keep facing forward". 

Gintoki never mentioned his past to anyone, still saying that it wasn't worth talking about and should be left alone in nothing more than Gintoki's memories. There was so much...so much he could try to forget, but couldn't forget. If he did, he might not have been the person he was today. He wouldn't be able to start good things in his life because all he could focus on was a bad past. It wasn't worth it. Gintoki felt Kagura's arms squeeze around his shoulders as her head rested against his back-just below his neck. This surprised him a little. 

"Well, if you need to talk, I'm right here". Gintoki smiled at that, sighing. 

"You still worrying about me? I'm a grown-ass man, Kagura. No need to worry". 

"Still, you're...Ya know what? Nevermind". 

"Hm? What was that? What am I?" 

Kagura sighed, looking off to the side with an irritated expression. The regret for speaking out was flear on her features, at least if Gintoki could see it. Whatever she wished to say, it had already embarrassed and irritated her within the safety of her thoughts. What was more irritating, however, was the smug grin that Gintoki had on his face-knowing that she paused because she was going to say something embarrassing. She took a deep breath, clutching Gintoki by his shirt as she finished her sentence. 

"You're...you know, like family. And they look out for eachother, right?" 

"True. If you didn't have me and Shinpachi, I don't know where you would be, Kagura". 

"I'm pointing that at you, you stupid natural perm! Anyway, I would be just fine even if you didn't take me in". 

"Oh, really? Who paid for your meal tonight?" 

"That's not the point! I'm busy with school-it's not like I can get a job, Mr. I'm-a-bestselling-author-with-too-much-money". 

"Fair enough. But be glad I don't gamble...anymore, kinda". 

"Pssh...Whatever. Just shut up and carry me home already". 

Gintoki had never considered himself a family man. He was more of a loner, through and through. He used to think that being alone was for the best, especially after some particular events that led him to think that way. But, quicker than he ever expected, he found himself carrying a bigger weight on his back. A weight he could never let go of. This sense of melancholy and lonliness avoided Gintoki in most cases, and right where it hurt the most, those feelings would come plummeting back like salt in a gushing wound. That's why things like family were better off being distant, a thing that Gintoki could ignore and keep out of his reach. If he did that, then it wouldn't be taken away so easily before he was able to grab hold of it. Too late, it seemed. He was already holding onto such things. So many people...Kagura, Shinpachi, and so many others. Maybe even including Hijikata...maybe. Hm, such a big family for one guy to carry...How did he feel about that? How did Gintoki really feel about carrying such a heavy load? 

... 

Gintoki managed to sneak out of the apartment after putting Kagura to bed. It was still early, just reaching the late hours of the evening when he crept out in an almost overly-exaggerated fashion. He very, very gently closed the front door, spare clothes folded under his arms. They were folded, just not folded neatly. He let out a sigh of relief when all seemed quiet. He then made the single neccessary step to reach Hijikata's front door, knocking as quietly-but clearly-as he possibly could. In about two minutes, the door opened. Hijikata stood there, definitely ready for bed. Of course Gintoki couldn't imagine the guy going to bed in his underwear and prefered to wear sweatpants instead. Wait, why was that coming to mind out of nowhere? 

"There you are. I thought you wouldn't show up 'cause you chickened out of sharing a bed with me again". 

"No way. I'm okay with doing this. You?" 

"I suppose. Come in, then. Want a drink or anything?" 

"A bit late to drink alcohol, isn't it?" Gintoki asked as he entered. It was never too late for him to drink alcohol, but he meant it because they were about to sleep. 

"I mean tea, or water, or...something". 

"Nah, I can sleep just fine without it". 

The atmosphere wasn't as sensitive and uncomfortable as it usually was between the two. The idea of this scenario was to try and ease some of the tension when it came to being close to eachother in a more intimate way. To put it bluntly, neither of them were prepared to do things like have sex yet. And sharing a bed was a step both of them could take after last time. The only question was; how cosy could either of them get from just sharing a bed? For example, huddling together. That was the best way to put it. Negotiating such a thought in his head-asking himself whether to make a move like that or not-Gintoki headed to the bathroom with Hijikata's permission. Good thing he brought sweatpants as well. Sleeping in his underwear, next to another guy, was not optional as of this moment. Not at all. 

... 

Gintoki walked into the bedroom, hesitating at the front door for a sedond or two before closing the door and leaving the room with only the dim light of a small lamp. Hijikata had already gotten into his bed, shutting the end table drawer as soon as Gintoki entered. 

"Uh...hey". Hijikata greeted. 

"Hey, uh...wh-what have you got in that drawer there?" 

"Nothing, really". 

Hijikata didn't sound or look embarrassed, so it probably wasn't anything to be suspicious about. Despite that, it was only human to be curious. It was strange for Gintoki to expect something like expired condoms or a porn magazine in there as he inched closer and closer to the drawer, pretending to just come over to the bed. The hesitation was unnerving for Hijikata. He was on the edge of scooting over, but abrupty stopped from doing so when Gintoki opened up the drawer that he previously shut. 

"Oi! Don't just go snooping around other people's stuff!" Hijikata yelled, his cheeks pink-being the only one to know what was in that drawer. Well, not anymore. 

Gintoki was perplexed for a moment, but then sighed in disappointment. 

"It's my new book. What, you read this before bedtime?" He actually expected something more scandelous like a sex toy. But that was just Gintoki's dirty, sadistic mind playing up in such a situation. 

"Shut up. I'm allowed to read it if I want". 

"And? You like it so far?" 

"W-we're not discussing it. Now, hurry up and get in here". 

"I will, just move over". 

Hijikata, irritated and embarrassed, swiftly moved over to the other side of the bed to allow Gintoki to slide in beside him. Gintoki immediatly lay down, crashing his head into the pillow comfortably. 

"Hey, don't get so comfortable so easily!" 

"Hah? Gimme a break, I just carried a 88 pound girl up the stairs. For such a small fourteen-year-old, she's heavy". 

"Haah, fine. I'm going to sleep. Turn off that lamp". 

Gintoki turned off the only light left, plunging the room into darkness. Hijikata turned his back to Gintoki as he lay down, all-too conscious of the perm-head's presence. When he settled down after a minute or two, closing his eyes, he suddenly felt a lack of warmth as the covers were pulled away from his grasp. Instinctively, he pulled back and held a firm grip of the covers. Again, the warmth and comfort was tugged away from him. Hijikata's eyebrow twitched, and he pulled the covers, hard. 

"Oi, Mayora, you mind giving me a share of the blankets? You're hogging them". 

"Speak for yourself. I'm closer to the window, it's cold and your keeping me from getting any sleep from your greed of the covers". 

"You're cold, anyway. And I'm in a worse position than you. This side of the bed reeks of cigarettes. It's gross". 

"Then move over. You're the one who's sleeping on the edge of the bed because you wouldn't want to get close to me". 

"Fine...!" Gintoki sat up all of a sudden. Hijikata did the same, not knowing what Gintoki was going to do. He flicked on the lamo on his side of the bed, looking at Gintoki as he inched closer. The matress creaked from his movements. 

"Woah, woah, woah!" Hijikata held out his hands in order to stop Gintoki from coming any closer. "What are you doing?!" 

"Coming closer to you. It's cold and I don't wanna spend the rest of the night fighting over blankets".

"Wait a second! Gintoki!" 

Hijikata squeezed his eyes shut, dread sending shivers all over his body with the fear of suddenly being glomped by Gintoki. However, he could only hear the creak of the matress and felt a slight bounce. He opened his eyes, looking down to see Gintoki laying down at an appropriate distance away from him. Hijikata gulped, the tension shuddering through his ribcage. 

"You settling down or what? Hurry". 

Gintoki's command irritated Hijikata. He sounded so demanding but casual-too casual. Hijikata really thought that Gintoki would want to cuddle up. The fact that he expected so much pissed him off. Really, really pissed him off. Steadily, Hijikata eased himself back into position, lying down face-to-face with Gintoki. When realising that they were in such a position, the awkwardness crept back between them. Hijikata wisely thought of turning on his back to face the cieling instead. This action was done swiftly without any protest or arguments. Gintoki turned on his back too, moving his hands under his head as he too stared blankly at the ceiling. There wasn't much room for silence to fill the hours. By now, even after just one time, they both knew that it would be best to talk until their eyes became heavy and closed on their own. Hijikata turned his head towards Gintoki, the words coming to mind quicker than he expected. 

"Sougo, uh, saw the China Girl's brother today, Kamui". 

Gintoki looked towards Hijikata as well. The darkness shrouded most of Gintoki's expression. But the motion that Gintoki showed-by flinching-made it clear to Hijikta that Gintoki had heard the name. 

"You obviously know about him. Apparently they were talking about the China Girl. I didn't get the details, but I got the impression that Sougo secretly cares about her". 

"From that sadist? You sure?" 

"Yeah, I'm sure. Sougo was man enough to actually approuch Kamui. That kid's dangerous". 

"Who? Okita-kun or Kamui?" Hijikata furrowed his eyebrows at that. 

"I'm talking about Kamui. Anyway, because of that, you really need to watch out for the girl. That guy's crazy enough to attack his own sister with the right opportunity". 

"How do you know? I mean, I don't have any real experience with siblings so I know I can't really speak for either of them, but...I don't think Kamui is strong enough to kill his own sister. Big brothers give off that kinda vibe, I suppose. I know a lot of guys can be weak towards the younger sibling". 

Hijikata tensed up. His mind had to go there, didn't it? That smile, that hand that reached out to ruffle his hair while he was still small, the very few hugs he ever received. Those distant memories flashed by in an instant. Butterflies fluttered in his stomach and the repetition carried on through guilt. A big brother's vibe, huh? That was relatable, if but for a few brief months. Gintoki noticed how quiet Hijikata had become. It dawned on him that Hijikata had a big brother too, techniqally. With that kind of expression, along with the silence, Gintoki knew first-hand that there were memories flashing in Hijikata's head. Memories that were distant, each scene distant or gone. Looking at that expression, his eyes adjusted to the darkness, Gintoki could only think one thing: "Hijikata looked better with a smile, sometimes". 

"Hey, Hijikata?" Hijikata's gaze went from the ceiling back to Gintoki, who was smiling softly at him. "I don't have much family experience, either. It's okay to feel like you missed a huge chunk of your life because of what happened in the past. I know how you feel, but I don't know what it's like to have anything as close as a sibling, so...Do you think that, one day, you could tell me about it? About the good experiences?" 

Hijikata didn't know what to expect. He had never really opened up about that sort of topic before. But not long ago, Hijikata opened up to Gintoki about the smallest things. Maybe, one day, Gintoki could lead Hijikata into talking about the bigger things. Gintoki even said himself that he had no real experiences with family, and wasn't the type to talk about it either. Knowing that gave Hijikata the smallest amount of motivation to one day speak out to Gintoki, in the hopes that he would do the same in confidence and trust. The thought that they could eventually share such a moment made Hijikata's heart pound as he stared at Gintoki's face, the smile remaining. Neither of them had ever opened up about anything of a similar caliber, meaning it was more special, thus more intimate. Warmth spread through Hijikata's cheeks, but he chose not to waver. The matress quietly creaked underneath him as he sat up, looming over Gintoki a little. His hands pressed against the matress on either side of Gintoki's head. Gintoki didn't falter either, waiting patiently as Hijikata leaned down and placed a soft kiss on Gintoki's lips. It wasn't a bold or confident action. It was sentimental. Hijikata parted the kiss, the soft sound emitting through the silence.

"Okay. We can talk about it one day, alright?" 

"Sure. Sounds like quite the bonding experience". 

Hijikata shook his head to himself, even rolling his eyes. 

"So, Hijikata, I know it may sound like a weird idea, but it's still an idea. Wanna huddle up tonight?" 

"...! Uh-...!" 

"Now, before you freak out an go all tsundere on me, hear me out. It looks like we're gonna be like this more often, so why not get more comfortable. After hearing that you'll open up to me someday got me wanting to get just a little bit closer to you physically as well. Come on~. You know you want to, ya big sap". 

Hijikata grumbled, averting his eyes away from Gintoki's smirk. But he did cave in, silently lowering himself down until his head was resting next to Gintoki's, but their bodies were leaning against eachother. 

"Don't be shy, Hijikata-kun. You can use my shoulder as a pillow if you want". 

"Heh, you seem to be into this more than usual". 

"Just to watch you react and get all embarrassed. It's funny". 

"Ugh, you're worse than Sougo sometimes. Fine, whatever. Just don't tell anyone". 

"I wouldn't do that to you. How mean~". 

That tone of voice wasn't very convincing. Though reluctant and shy, Hijikata shifted his body until his head rested on Gintoki's shoulder. It was broad, a warm and sweet scent drifting from the end of Gintoki's hair. Hijikata shut his eyes, unconsciously taking it in. Gintoki tilted his head until the side of his chin met Hijikata's forehead comfortably. Rubbing circles into his back and taking a whiff of Hijikata's hair without thinking. It was pleasant, he couldn't deny that. And although their hearts pounded and their stomachs fluttered and twisted, this didn't feel too odd or uncomfortable. It was pleasant, warm, and it was a big step from just kissing. Hijikata's eyelids grew heavy, the desire to sleep increasing swiftly once he had settled down. Unaware of this, Gintoki simply spaced out and stared blankly at the ceiling while his hand continued to run circles around Hijikata's back. His thoughts wandered. Family...That was a topic that came up frequently that day. It was something Gintoki didn't think about too much. However, right now it seemed so obvious that he had a family, of some sort, again. None of them were blood related and consisted of morons and lunatics, but it was a family. The biggest Gintoki had in a long, long time. If his youth carried such a heavy burden called "family", maybe things would be different. Maybe he wouldn't be the same person he was now. He wouldn't have grown and developed like he did, even if the influence for the majority of that was pain. But if this was the best possible outcome of that pain, Gintoki was glad to have dragged his feet through the broken pieces of his old memories. There are things he would have changed, or would have wanted to re-do. But there was no chance of that now. This was the person he became, the person he chose to grow into. 

Family, friends, enemies...They're all a burden in our lives. We strive to protect the things we care about at the cost of something else, something just as precious. This feeling haunted Gintoki for most of his life. Things, or people, he never even knew had never been taken into consideration. Like his parents, whoever they were. It was a burden he never had to carry. However, he met so many people that became the burden, something he chose to carry no matter how heavy-because he cared, because he wanted family. Even now, he feels like there's something still worth lifting off the ground. These thoughts didn't cease until he felt weary enough to close his eyes and drift off. His rested his cheek on top of Hijikata's head, the warmth and the safety embracing him as the thought finally evaporated into nothingness. That was enough. It was enough to somehow lighten the load in Gintoki's heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love all of them, so much.
> 
> Also, stuff will go down between Kamui and Okita. Hmmmmng! My gerd! O*O 
> 
> (Also, I would like to think that they both do care for Kagura deep, deep, deepdeepdeepdeep down. Honestly. Anyone else? I sure as hell hope so. Can anyone else just smell the headcanons?-because I sure can).


	9. Intamacy Is A Difficult Thing To Face

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay. We're back. I'm back. Hoo...Well, get ready for this chapter because it is certainly gonna be something. Nothing more will be said. Enjoy...

Gintoki stretched his arms up, right until they wouldn't stretch any further. The sensation of pulling and stretching his muscles was almost painful at this point, the need for relief in each joint and bone a neccesity from sitting at his desk for so long while reading Jump instead of actually working. He groaned, his voice strained until a cracking could be heard within his lower back. Relief. Finally. Either it was his "old age" or the fact that he had nearly no time to work-out anymore. With his hands behind his head, Gintoki's gaze shifted towards his left bicep. It was flexed from under his t-shirt sleeve. He rested his hand over the muscle, squeezing it and then smirking-impressed with himself.

"Still got it". He muttered, taking the opportunity to roll his shoulder. Still broad, still tight, still can't be attractive to women because of his hair. 

Well, there was Hijikata but Gintoki wasn't sure if the guy even found him attractive. Gintoki didn't know if he found Hijikata attractive. He hadn't really looked at appearance, which was a first. Hijikata was the first person that Gintoki ever liked for personality before apprearance. Not to say that he only looked at personality. Hijikata wasn't ugly-no matter how many times Gintoki joked about it. He had silky black hair, nice blue eyes, fair skin...soft lips...But, Gintoki wouldn't say he was "attracted' to Hijikata. His good looks were just obvious to even the most heterosexual guy in the world. Gintoki wanted to be that hetorosexual guy, but it's not like there was a record for it, especially when you've kissed, shared a bed and techinqally cuddled up with another guy. He didn't hate it, since all of those experiences were enjoyable. That night...The night when Hijikata rested his head on Gintoki's shoulder, his face flushed and his hands quivering, Gintoki felt a pleasure he had never received before. That was the first time he had ever cuddled with anyone, and they didn't even have sex. Wait, sex? 

Gintoki sat up properly before flopping forward onto the surface of his desk, using his forearms as a way of keeping himself from smacking his head against the wood. He hid his face, his eyes wide a midst the darkness he had put up around himself. Hold on...Hold on, hold on, hold on~...Gintoki hadn't even thought about that sort of thing. And it came up so casually too! He wasn't expecting that sort of thing. Sex? No...No way, no way, no way~! That had to be a no, right? There was no way Gintoki wanted to do stuff like that with a g-guy! He was experienced-but not with men! Women, all women-although not a lot. Ten, at most-but moving on from that. It had never crossed his mind that sex was possible for them, after doing this and that and nothing more. Gintoki's philosophy was that if he wanted to see a dick, he'd pull down his pants and look in the mirror, and that would be the end of it. It wasn't just that, though. Was it? 

Gintoki raised his head, resting his chin on his forearms as comfortably as he could manage. Gintoki had never thought about having sex with Hijikata. That was normal, wasn't it? For a straight guy, Gintoki had only ever thought about women and the joys of intercourse with those of the opposite sex. All of that was meaningless, however. It felt good, but there was no feelings to it other than physical attraction. With Hijikata, however, a man, their relationship felt as if there was some meaning to it. There was a certain level of trust and a closeness that was so unfamiliar but so special at the same time. It brought a faint blush to Gintoki's cheeks, his only consolation for having these thoughts being this brand new attachment for Hijikata, this desire to get to know him better while also keeping a tight hold of their normal interactions: the arguments, the banter and the nonsense that plagued them whenever they ran into eachother. But that was all emotional stuff. What led Gintoki into considering sex was, in fact, the emotional aspects. Wanting to get just the tiniest bit closer to Hijikata could mean both emotionally and physically. That's how any kind of relationship works, right? However, realistically, Gintoki wouldn't sleep with someone who he wasn't also attracted to in a physical way. In other words, he couldn't imagine being inside another man and experiencing pleasure from it. He couldn't imagine Hijikata being inside of him and receiving pleasure from it. The thought caused several tingles to run down Gintoki's spine as this uncomfortable feeling overpowered the curiosity. In order to have sex, you need to know what you were getting yourself into...or so to speak. And for the first time, since Gintoki's very first time, he had no idea what he was doing. What he could do. What he was supposed to do and what to feel or think. He had drawn a blank that, frankly, caused discomfort in his mind. 

Narrowing his eyes, Gintoki focused on the clock in front of him. Just past noon. Even after having those previous thoughts, it was still time for his date with Hijikata. Looking to the front door, Gintoki let out a big sigh after inhaling deeply. No encouragement came out of simply saying that "perhaps it would take his mind off things". But maybe if they weren't too intimate, it would be alright and his mind wouldn't immediatly go to "that". Gintoki pressed the palms of his hands against his desk as leverage to pull himself up to his feet. His chair squeaked as it's wheels ran over the hardwood floors. He went for the front entrance, slipping on his shoes before heading straight out and into the hallway. He shut the door behind him, locking up before simply reaching out to knock on Hijikata's door. He waited for several seconds, the door opening...and the surprise overwhelming Gintoki's thoughts.

"Oh, hey, Gintoki. Shit, sorry, I lost track of the time. Uh...You okay? Gintoki?" 

It was what Gintoki least expected. Hijikata glistened with sweat, his, what appeared to be, work-out clothes practically stuck to his body from both the summer heat and his obvious work-out session within the comfort of his own home. He was panting softly, pushing his v-shaped fringe back with his fingers. His cheeks were slightly red, his biceps flexed and shining with moisture. Gintoki couldn't help but notice every little detail. 

"Y-yeah, I'm fine. Have you, er, been working out-right now, I mean?" 

"Um, yeah? I haven't gotten much of a chance because of work and the gym we have below the station would be like a goddamn sauna in this weather. I just wanted to get in some push-ups before our date. I'm kinda...a mess right now". 

"N-no, it's okay. W-well, why not take a quick shower before we go out? I don't feel like going out somewhere with a guy who smells like a jock strap...or a wet dog". 

"Oi, it's not that bad. Haah...Sorry again, I guess. You'll have to wait a little while I clean up". 

"That's...fine by me. You go on ahead, 'cause the humidity in here is insane. Hoo...It's pretty hot in here, huh?". 

"I don't know why you think that. The aircon is switched on, so it shouldn't be that hot for you. Now, get in already. I'll be as quick as I can". 

"No, take your time".

Hijikata gave Gintoki a weird look before making his way towards his room to grab some clothes. His staring lingered for a few seconds before he shrugged it off and silently went on his way. While Gintoki was alone, silence filling the apartment when the sound of the bedroom door closed, signalling Gintoki to start quietly panicking. What got to him, to some extent, was how casual Hijikata was about being seen like that: sweaty, panting...Oh, the panting...Maybe because he was used to training and ended up like that in front of other guys a lot of the time. He was a cop, after all. There wasn't anything weird about it, it was just bad timing for Gintoki to walk in and see him like that. Gintoki had been around guys like that too. When he used to attend the gym as often as he could, there were plenty of guys that really worked up a sweat-and he was okay with that. But, with Hijikata, it was the most exposed that he had ever been in front of Gintoki. The arms, the damp shirt-which was red and not white, thank god. That was the first time Gintoki had ever seen Hijikata in such a state. It was so...So... 

"Uh...?!" 

Gintoki's eyes widened, his response to those types of thoughts was to crouch down and run his fingers through his hair ro ruffle out all of those silly thoughts. They were silly, and embarrassing, and so weird. Was this what he was thinking about earlier? How he wasn't attracted to Hijikata? Where the hell did that go? Gintoki tried to calm down and think straight. He figured that there was no use getting worked up about it. It's not like Hijikata got embarrassed about appearing the way he did, because he would have been used to it. Other guys would have seen that all time, depending on how often Hijikata went to the gym. Although, he was quite a private person, and got embarrassed at the smallest things that Gintoki did. When they kissed or when they would talk about particular topics, Hijikata's cheeks would turn red. Embarrassment is the hardest emotion to hide. You can see it in so many expressions or mannerisms. In Hijikata's case, his cheeks would turn bright red and he would be unable to look directly at Gintoki. Those mannerisms...They weren't too bad to look at. It was quite nice to see such a look on Hijikata's face. With that, and only that, their relationship thus far could only be described as vannila. Nothing but kisses, nice conversations and the occasional date. It was standard, nothing more to it. Maybe that was okay, even if they were both adults with needs and desires. But those seemed to only be for the opposite sex, what they were both attracted to. He was literally just denying thoughts of any kind of attraction for Hijikata, or maybe...He just didn't want to see him that way yet. 

... 

In a small coffee place among the other buildings and structures, Gintoki and Hijikata sat at one of the odd tables with orders on the way. Gintoki, of course, ordered a parfait and Hijikata simply wanted a coffee. Gintoki stared out of the wide window next to them, occasionally glancing over towards Hijikata. His hair was still a little wet from the shower, the scent of shampoo still emitting from him. It was sweet and fragrant, like an artifical scent of sakura petals and stawberries. Gintoki squeezed his eyes shut for a second, trying to get the thought out of his head. Hijikata noticed this. Gintoki had been acting strangely since coming to the apartment, but he figured it was because of the state he was in earlier. Maybe he was just having an off day? 

"Gintoki, is something wrong? You've been acting strangely all morning". 

"Eh? Uh, no nothing's...wrong. How am I acting strangely?" 

"I don't know. You just seem...off". 

"...Nope, I'm fine. Maybe it's because I've been-ehem-working so hard this morning". 

"That doesn't sound like you. Something really is wrong". 

"Oh, ha-ha. For your information, Gin-san works very hard at his job. Sometimes I don't even sleep". 

"You and me both". 

They were on common ground for a lot of things. They each discovered that during different moments of their relationship, whether they fought or actually had proper conversations. There was something that came to mind, to Gintoki's, anyway. It had just started to bother him, but...That shampoo smell from Hijikata...Sakura petals, stawberries...Stawberries? 

"Hey, Hijikata, what kind of shampoo do you use?" 

"Why does that matter?" 

"I can smell it from here. It's strawberries...". 

"A-and...?" Hijikata's nervousness was clear in his voice. His mannerisms of embarrassment returning... 

"I use that scented shampoo as well". Gintoki smirked. 

"So what? They didn't have any of my usual products, and the fact that the one I randomly picked up is the same as yours is a total coincedence. Besides, I liked the scent, so...". 

"So you like my scent?" 

Hijikata's cheeks became redder, he lowered his gaze down to the floor. He looked pretty pissed, as well as flustered. Hijikata was actually kind of cute when he was. Gintoki admitted that to himself as he stared just a little longer at this image while it lasted. 

"Okay, here are your orders, gentlemen". Out of nowhere, the waitress came by the table once more, after taking their orders in the first place, with a tray in hand. "One coffee, and one parfait. I hope you enjoy. I made it myself". The waitress placed down their orders before shyly retracting the tray. 

"Oh, really? Then I'll have to savour it more than usual, huh?" 

The waitress giggled. She was cute, that was easier to admit, but...looking over at Hijikata, Gintoki felt conflicted. Hijikata was staring out the window, leaning his lips against his fist as his face was still flushed. He probably had a hard time facing other people when he was embarrassed. And, for him, getting embarrassed was rare. At least before he started seeing Gintoki. Looking back at the waitress, who had gone to tend to other customers, Gintoki had noticed just how many guys were staring at her like a dog stares at a stick when its owner waves it in front of its face. Their eyes were gawking her with big smiles that would start producing drool at any moment. Gintoki could admit she was cute, but then he looked back at Hijikata. Then back at the waitress, then back at Hijikata as if trying to change his perspective on who was more appealing to the eyes. No one stared at Hijikata. Maybe a few women who occasionally glanced over. But being right in front of Hijikata, Gintoki could see the more vivid details. His slightly wet hair, his red blush, and the sweet smell of his shampoo that filled the area around them. Gintoki gulped, quickly picking up his spoon and preparing to enjoy his parfait as a distraction from Hijikata's appearance. 

He scooped up a spoonful of the colourful concoction, sliding the spoon into his mouth. Gintoki's expression lit up, savouring the sweet and creamy taste. Hijikata managed to relax while Gintoki was distracting himself, taking out a bottle of mayonnaise from...somewhere, and squeezing its contents into his coffee as if it was coffee creamer. Gintoki gulped down his first spoonful, hard, as he witnessed such an act. Where did that bottle come from? Gintoki glanced back to the group of women who were previously staring at Hijikata. Each one now wore a look of disgust before turning back and exchanging whispers. Gintoki rolled his eyes, turning back to Hijikata, or his parfait-to be more accurate. Seeing Hijikata indulge with such a weird taste in food had become somewhat normal. He joked about his disgust for Hijikata's mayonnaise obsession in the past, but it never really bothered him until Hijikata made jokes about Gintoki's liking for adzuki beans on rice. That would start an argument on which was better, even though all bystanders would silently agree that both were disgusting and should not go on rice, or anything else in large doses. 

Gintoki continued with his parfait, each bite heavenly. Smooth, sweet, flavourful. So much goodness packed into one fancy glass. His mind went totally blank with each flavour coming together. 

"You seem to really like those parfaits, huh?" Hijikata asked before sipping his coffee. 

"Uh-huh...so good...". He could barely form a sentence at this point. 

"Is it because that waitress made it, or...?" 

"...Hm?" 

"...! Nothing. It's...nothing". Hijikata averted his eyes away from Gintoki, sipping his coffee. 

Now who's acting weird? Just because a particular waitress made it doesn't make it any better. 

"Hijikata, a parfait is still a parfait. Even if a guy made it, I'd still make the same expressions. So don't get jealous". 

"I'm not jealous. Don't be stupid". 

"You're stupid". 

"And you're a child". 

"I'll take that as a compliment. I'm a child at heart, in a man's body. A very sexy body, that is". 

"You're so full of yourself". 

"And you like it". 

Hijikata sighed, as if giving up. He would usually retort back, but not this time. Gintoki wanted to get his attention, give him some reason to retort back-since it was kind of fun to watch. Gintoki tapped his foot against Hijikata's legs with a smirk. 

"Hey...". He muttered, tapping his foot again in the same spot. Hijikata looked at Gintoki for a moment. Although the action was rather childish, Hijikata encouraged it by kicking back. 

Gintoki chuckled, returning the action-but a little harder. This continued, every now and then Gintoki glanced up to check if any of the staff could see them kicking their legs at eachother to and fro. Like two school boys messing around in a public place with so much disregard for the people around them-the adults. Eventually, their legs kicked a little too hard, their reactions causing an impulse and the immediate jolt in their legs from the pain. Their knees jolted up, smacking the bottom surface of the table. At that, the table jolted as well, and Gintoki's parfait...his precious, delicious, parfait collapsed in front of him, spilling its contents over his clothes. 

"Agh! Damn it!" He cursed, the cold sensation of ice cream and frozen bananas sending chills over his legs. "My parfait~!" He cried. He would have formed tears if he could. 

"That's your fault". Hijikata bluntly pointed out. 

"My fault?!" 

"Yeah, you're the one who started kicking me". 

"Well, I'm sorry for trying to wipe that sad look off your face. Ugh...It's all over my clothes. I'm going to the restroom to clean this up". 

"Need any help?" 

"I don't need your concern! Haa...I'll be back. Until then, you're buying me a new parfait, and you're apologising to the waitress who made it". 

"Wai-...Hold on a second. Gintoki!" 

Hijikata followed Gintoki into the restroom, rolling his eyes and grumbling. The restroom was empty, away from the stares that followed them uneccessarily. Gintoki pulled out a number of paper towels from the despenser by the sink, running them at least two or three at a time under the cool faucet, balled up and absorbant. 

"Look, I'll buy you a new parfait, but maybe you should be the one to apologise for starting it". 

"I started it 'cause I'm childish, okay? Aren't you suppose to be the more sensible one? Shame on you, Hijikata-kun". 

"Haa...You're such an ass. Here, gimme that". 

Hijikata swiped the damp towels from Gintoki's hand, pulling out his t-shirt and wiping down the stain. 

"Haah...I like this t-shirt". Gintoki grumbled. 

"Shut up. God, it's already starting to reek of expired milk". 

"Well, no wonder! Fuckin' hell...I feel like a kid getting cleaned up by his mom". 

"Good. Take responsibility for your childish actions, and I'll take responsibility for mine...I shouldn't have added to it". 

Gintoki regarded Hijikata's serious semblence in a not-so-serious moment. He tried to keep a straight face, even when the thin line between Gintoki's shirt and the outline of his abs and stomach was so small. As the stain dried with every sweeping motion of Hijikata's hand, he could feel the outline more vividly. He slowed down, looking up at Gintoki, who was looking right back at him. Startled, Hijikata looked away before making a quick note out loud. 

"Uh, Gintoki...It's, uh...Ahem! I-it's on your pants as well". 

Gintoki looked down, to see the damp stain seep into his crotch area. Hijikata took out some more paper towels, balling them up before passing them to Gintoki. 

"...?" 

"That's your department". Hijikata muttered. "Not mine". 

Gintoki shook his head to himself, rinsing the balled up towels under the sink while Hijikata looked around elsewhere. It didn't really matter if they dried the stain now. It still needed to be washed and Gintoki would still need a change of clothes. He smiled, seeing Hijikata so bashful. Of course there were certain things he couldn't handle, like wiping up stains over another guy's shirt and feeling his abs through the damp clothing. It made him think: Hijikata was shy about that, about touching Gintoki-even if it was just his upper body. Surely anyone would be uncomfortable with touching another man's crotch area. But even just touching the abdomen was unnerving for Hijikata. The question raised itself in Gintoki's mind again. Hijikata was flustered over something. That something being physical contact with Gintoki. Physical contact of any sort, actually. Kissing, huddling up together in the same bed...He couldn't imagine it as being nothing. Sure, Gintoki felt the same, but found to be more forward with those actions. Maybe...Maybe Hijikata was...Maybe even Gintoki was...towards Hijikata. It bothered him. These thoughts were so bothersome and he couldn't wrap his head around it at all. Was there any way to confirm his suspicions? To put this topic aside, or even face it head-on? How could he know for sure that there was some level of physical attraction between the two? Not just this emotional attachment. He had to know. But how? 

...

... 

Gintoki stood under the shower head, in the bathroom of his apartment. His mind had raced the entire time he was with Hijikata, up until this moment. Hijikata was waiting in the main room, Kagura would be back home in two or three hours. With that amount of time, he wondered how he should confront these feelings of uncertainty. To confront this pause in his mind with so much doubt and hesitance. He sighed, the steam of the shower making him feel a little dizzy, the skin of his fingers shrivelling up a little from lingering too long under the hot water. So he turned it off, pushing his hair back with a long exhale. Steam fogged the shower's glass doors and the mirror by the sink. He felt at ease and a little less tense, but the thoughts didn't escape him. Gintoki carefully stepped out from the shower, as not to slip and fall. Hijikata was waiting, patiently, unaware of the thoughts that had gone through Gintoki's mind all day. Perhaps somewhere in his subconscious, Hijikata harboured the same thoughts. But maybe they should have confronted them by now. Haa...It was a burden to keep these thoughts locked away, unsure of whether Gintoki wanted to get closer to Hijikata physically or not. Once the question popped up, it was all he could think about. The curiosity weighed a lot more than his old physical desires. This was more on an emotional basis, he thought. But he didn't know if he wanted to see Hijikata in a particular way, on the outside. Did he think he was cute? Handsome? Sexy? Over and over these thoughts circulated with, what felt like, no end. He wanted to take things slowly, approuch steadily and see what happens. He nodded to himself, grabbing his towel to dry off. 

Once changed, Gintoki headed to the main room, seeing Hijikata sit on the sofa, fidgeting. He was rolling his shoulders, tilting his head with a look of discomfort on his face. Gintoki approuched, puzzled. 

"Hey, what's up?" He asked, sitting next to Hijikata in a more comfortable and laid-back fashion. "You look kinda stiff there". He casually pointed out, digging his pinky finger into his ear. 

"It feels like it. I think I might have over-worked myself earlier. The strain caught up to me, it seems".

He did look really uncomfortable. Sitting up properly, Gintoki shifted a little closer to Hijikata, with an idea in mind. 

"Hey, uh, I'm pretty good at giving back rubs. I know that sounds weird, but it's just a useless skill I learned a while back". 

"Uh...?" 

"Don't gimme that look. You can trust me. Now shut up and turn around". 

Hijikata grumbled, reluctant. But Gintoki gave him an insistant gaze, right until Hijikata finally turned his back towards him. Gintoki hesitantly reached out, all the way over Hijikata's shoulders in order to undo the first two buttons of his shirt. Hijikata instinctively grabbed Gintoki's hand, looking over his shoulder swiftly. 

"Hey! What the hell are you-?!" 

"Shut it. I can only do it properly if your skin's exposed. Don't worry, it's just your shoulders. Don't you trust me?" 

"...". No response. At least, not with words. 

Hijikata turned back around, waiting for Gintoki to do his thing. Pulling down Hijikata's shirt slightly, Gintoki rubbed his hands together, cracking his knuckles before delicately placing his hands over Hijikata's shoulders. His fingers were chilled from his previous shower, sending shivers across Hijikata's shoulders. Shuffling a little closer, Gintoki began pressing his fingers into the skin and muscle, rubbing it slowly and tenderly against his fingers and palms. 

"Tell me if it hurts, okay?" 

"Sure. Um, where exactly did you learn how to do this?" 

"Don't ask. As I said, it's a useless skill that I didn't want to learn in the first place. But circumstances forced me to learn the basics, at least". 

"Er...Okay?" 

Gintoki moved his hands over the muscles, putting the right amount of pressure into the more tense spots. They gradually loosened up, a feeling of security and relaxation overcoming Hijikata. 

"Mn...". Hijikata let out a quiet moan, the strain fading away in all the right places. Gintoki was being so gentle as well. Gentle, but firm. "This is starting to...feel kinda good". 

"See~? Didn't I tell you? Honestly, you should have a bit more faith in me, Hijikata-kun~". 

"Right. My bad, sorry". 

"Uh...? Ye-yeah...It's okay, I guess". 

Gintoki swallowed, staring at the nape of Hijikata's neck. The skin was fairly pale. It looked so smooth and vulnerable. Gintoki tried to look away, but the presence of Hijikata's scent became more apparent, emitting from the back of his hair and leading Gintoki in. His hand movements slowed down as he stared, his heart beginning to pound. His eyes wandered, scanning Hijikata's figure and curves. The shirt he was wearing was rather slimming, the desire to explore Hijikata's back with his eyes growing more intense. Not just his back...the front of his upper body too. Were the muscles tender there, too? This was when the curiosity weighed in, crushing his old desires under its weight. He licked his lips, his heart beating quickly as he leaned in, taking a whiff of Hijikata's hair. Hijikata shuddered at the unexpected sensation that crept up his neck. Gintoki could smell the shampoo. It wasn't the first time Gintoki smelled these stands, although the previous time was by accident. Sweet. It smelled so sweet, warmth radiating from Hijikata's skin. On instinct, Gintoki pressed his lips to Hijikata's nape, receiving a startled reaction. 

"...?! Gintoki...?" 

Hijikata turned his head swiftly, looking over his shoulder to look Gintoki directly in the eyes. There was a pause, a moment of thought, a debate in Gintoki's head that asked what he was supposed to do next. Was this it? Did this moment bring out Gintoki's true thoughts? A new perspective on Hijikata? For him to have such thoughts in the first place, to feel these things, to even hesitate about it...He must have liked Hijikata more than he did before this relationship. And it only occured to him once he was this up close. Seeing, not only Hijikata's personality, but also finding some visual pleasure in looking at his body was so...so...good. He was stubborn. So stubborn...It annoyed him. 

"Hijikata...".

Gintoki leaned in, pressing his lips to Hijikata's right after whispering his name under his breath. His fingers ran through Hijikata's hair, closing his eyes to take in this moment. Hijikata was shocked, frozen in place. It was hard for him to relax in such a position. It wasn't clear what was going on in Gintoki's head right now. Gintoki was quite forward anyway, but this...It was all so sudden. The face he made and the purr in his voice...It felt so strange. Hijikata pulled away from the soft kiss, panting softly as he pulled his shirt up to cover his shoulders. 

"Seriously, what's gotten into you today? You're being weird". Gintoki smiled at that. He knew he was being weird, more than usual at least. 

"I know I am. I'm definitely just having an off day. It's nothing...". 

"I don't think you just casually kiss someone when you're having an off day. What's going on with you? Tell me". 

"You sound so concerned. How sweet". 

"I'm serious, Gintoki. Don't just get all over me and then push me away. Tell me the truth". 

Was there any point in lying about it? Gintoki did want to confront these ideas and feelings. These feelings of curiosity and desire that revolved around Hijikata, and only Hijikata. It was hard not to agree with now. Gintoki did find some physical attraction for Hijikata. 

"Hijikata...I've been thinking...". Gintoki began, scratcing the back of his head anxiously. "I'm not used to this type of stuff, so I'm not quite sure how to explain this". 

"Okay...?" 

"Uh...Fuck. Well, I was thinking a lot today about you and me. We've been doing this thing for about two weeks, right?" 

"Yeah, that's right". 

"Okay, okay. Um, you see, the thing is, I've kinda been having these thoughts since this morning. Thoughts I never had before and I was pretty conflicted about them. We didn't intend to do too much after our first kiss, remember? Now look at us". 

"Where are you going with this exactly?" 

"Look, just shut up and hear me out, 'cause I'm not done". Hijikata sighed, agreeing and refraining from saying any more until Gintoki had finished. "You're the first guy I've ever gotten this close to, like in terms of affinity. We've gotten to know eachother pretty well, and we've talked about stuff we'd never really talk about with anyone else. And because of that I've been led to think about...other stuff". 

Gintoki wasn't the type of person to beat around the bush, so whatever this was it caused him a lot of anxiety, and maybe even pressure to talk about it so outwardly. Hijikata listened, expecting the worst...at first. 

"I'm just gonna be blunt here and tell you what's up, because it's so fucking bothersome to keep to myself. Hijikata, I think that I...am attracted to you, physically". 

"...What?" 

"I know, I know! It sounds weird comin' from a straight guy, but this has been driving me nuts all day and...". 

"Gintoki, do you mean you're attracted to me...sexually as well?" 

When it was put that way, they both felt bashful. Putting it that way left Gintoki feeling defensive. 

"D-don't say it like that! It's not like I'm a pervert! It was just a thought-being attracted to you, I mean and-". 

"Gintoki...". Hijikata spoke firmly, putting Gintoki's frantic explaination to a halt. "Are you serious about this?" 

Gintoki lowered his gaze, nodding briefly. 

"Yeah...And you know me, I'm not a serious guy unless it really mattered". 

That was true. Gintoki was really serious about this, these thoughts and feelings. All Hijikata had to do was give a response. A proper response with honesty and sincerity. 

"You think I haven't had the same thoughts?" 

"...?" 

"I thought for a while that I was just being stupid and that it wasn't that easy to feel like that". 

"Hey, I'm the same. I couldn't imagine being like that with you, either because it would be uncomfortable and not what we're accustomed to". 

"Right. Exactly. And, you know what?...I still feel that way". 

"...?!" 

Those words...They sounded ice-cold, but perhaps not intended to sound disgusted or spiteful towards those feelings. They were just the truth, in Hijikata's eyes. 

"So, what, you don't think the same way? You're not...okay with trying it?" 

"What is there to try? Gintoki, have you really thought about it? We're both men-heterosexual men who aren't used to being with other guys. If we do something like that without knowing what we're doing-". 

"Hey, you think either of us know what we're doing? The first time I ever had sex, I had nearly no idea what I was doing, but I knew that I enjoyed being with the person in front of me and I moved on instinct. And I did pretty okay!". 

"That's because it was with a woman! Can you imagine-really imagine-being with a guy in that way, who you haven't done a lot with?! We've only kissed and gone out a few times!" 

"That's what I keep saying! All the more reason to explore our options. Look, this is the first time I've ever gawked at another guy like a fucking teenage girl! I'm attracted to you!" 

"Is that all?! Or, are you just curious to see what it's like with a guy?!" 

"I never said that! Didn't you hear me before, you moron?! Guess not! So listen up and I'll explain it clear enough so you can hear it!" 

Gintoki grabbed Hijikata by his hands to gain his full attention, gripping them firmly. Hijikata was shocked by this sudden action, his eyes wide as he stared at Gintoki. Although he tried to keep a cool head, Gintoki couldn't help but let out all of his built up emotions. He conveyed each as sincerely as possible. 

"Hijikata, I have never in my life been involved with another man this way. You think I'm not uncomfortable with it? Well, you're wrong. I am uncomfortable, I'm even unsure of myself-but there's no knowing what could happen unless you drag your feet and get through the uncomfortability. Listen up, because I'm not gonna say it again. You're the first person I've ever opened up to, even about the smallest details of my life that I've always kept to myself. I trust you and I...Agh...fuck...I like you, Hijikata. So is it wrong for me to wanna do more with you?! If it is, then let go of my hands right now and that'll be it. I'm serious, you stupid mayora!" 

Gintoki stopped his rant, embarrassed but very sincere. There was no point keeping it all locked away if it was the key in getting through to Hijikata, to tell him that he actually gave two shits about their involvement with eachother. Hijikata was taken aback by Gintoki's words. He lowered his head, speechless. Those words proved to be a huge step for Gintoki. He had never exposed his feelings to anyone before. It felt refreshing and his heart felt a little lighter. However, this...this seemed to be an difficult leap for Hijikata. 

"Look, Hijikata, I-...?" 

Hijikata retracted his hands from Gintoki's, hesitating. He stood up from the sofa, his hands shaking, with intent to walk off. 

"I have to go. I need some time to think, alright?" 

"Hey, don't just walk away from this. I was being totally serious just now. Don't say I told you all that for nothing-". 

"You think I don't know that?! You think I know how to respond when someone says something like that? Especially when it's someone I've gotten so close to? I don't want to ruin that by jumping into something that neither of us understand!...I'm leaving. I need to think things over and then get back you. Until then, please, leave me be". 

"Hijikata...!" Hijikata stormed out, quickly slipping on his shoes before slamming the front door shut behind him. 

Gintoki sighed deeply, wandering over to his desk in anguish. Placing his hands on its surface, he clenched his fists, the frustration building up. 

"Fuck...!" He cursed, slamming his balled up fist into its surface. It hurt, but the distress was a lot worse. He sunk into his chair, burying his face into his crossed arms as they lay on the desk. 

This was what it was like to be with someone you have more emotional connections with when you're not used to it. Neither of them were. Gintoki knew he would be bad when it came to an affair, but god damn. He may have been too forward, he could admit that. But Hijikata was in the wrong as well, wasn't he? He couldn't give the thought of a physical relationship a chance. This was...painful. It was painful to bear. Of course things don't always work out the way you want them to. So, what is there left to do? What could be done to mend things? Put the pieces back together? Improve this situation? Gintoki had no idea. He had never been in a situation where he had to apologise for his actions, as most of them had their reasons. With most decisions, someone will get hurt. Anyone could get hurt. And sometimes those wounds are hard to fix. Perhaps you're unable to fix them. Gintoki...didn't want this to be one of those times. He didn't want to hurt anyone else for his choices. He didn't want...to hurt Hijikata. 

... 

...

Gintoki's thoughts had raced the entire day, the same thing over and over. Each thought kept coming back to what Hijikata said. It was all he could think about. That and his own words. He admitted to liking Hijikata. With the emotional and physical feelings intertwind, there was no denying it. It seemed clear that Hijikata liked Gintoki as well, he just didn't know how to put it into the right words. He must have lacked confidence in saying it properly. Gintoki thought that he might have been too forward. Although he's better at being upfront about the majority of things he said, he felt uneasy. What he said, because it was so sudden...He sat up from his bed, unable to fall asleep. It was still early, anyway. He just thought that an early night would ease the stress, but in the silence of the room, his mind wouldn't shut up. His conscience wouldn't shut up. Getting up from his bed, Gintoki decided to just head over there and do whatever he could to fix the situation, even if the stupid mayora did say he wanted some alone time in order to think. Well, it had been long enough. 

Gintoki snuck out of the apartment, not wishing to wake up Kagura. Slipping on a pair of sandals over his bare feet, he exited and headed out into the hallway. As he closed the door, out of nowhere, the door opposite opened too. He flinched, freezing in place. Hijikata...He had come out too, also flinching once his eyes met Gintoki's and then abruptly stopping. In his sweatpants and loose t-shirt, he looked like he had just gone to bed as well. They really did think alike, even in the most distressful moments. Both of them lowered their eyes to the ground, awkwardly, silently. Now that they had both approuched, neither knew how to start. Who would speak first? Gintoki was the most forward out of them both, although he wasn't used to apologising to anyone. Hijikata was more likely to apologise in distressing situations and take responsibility like an adult, but he wasn't able to be blunt-depending on the situation. So, it took both of them to build up some courage here. 

"Ahem...". Gintoki cleared his throat, as a way of volunteering to speak first. "I, uh...Um, you couldn't sleep either, huh?" 

"N-no...not really". 

This was so awkward, but it was a good start nonetheless. 

"Hijikata...". Gintoki began again, anxious but willing to put things straight. "Earlier, I didn't really mean to be so direct-although that's the way I do things. This wasn't the best time, I know, but...I did mean what I said. All of it. I do think that I like you more than I used to, and I do see us trying out stuff like...s-sex-but...I wouldn't force you to do anything you don't want to do. If you don't want to do it, then there's no meaning to it, right? So, uh...what I'm trying to say is that I'm...I'm so-....Ugh, gimme a minute. I'm so-...s-...". 

"Are you trying to say you're sorry?" 

"That's the one. In sincere moments like this, I can't even apologise for the shitty things I do". 

Hijikata gave a little smile at that, quickly clearing his throat to get rid of it. He composed himself, crossing his arms. This was the first time anyone apologised to him first, sort of. 

"I guess I'm sorry too". 

"You are?" Gintoki received a nod at that question. 

"Yeah...It's so hard for me to come to terms with my feelings that go beyond frustration and a certain compassion for the people I care about. That's all I focus on. I'm really not used to these types of relationships, at all. So when you said that you wanted to do things like sleep together because you genuinely liked me, I was at a loss. Before, I was totally uncomfortable with the idea of doing that kinda stuff with another guy because he was curious and nothing more. But, Gintoki, after some thought, I realised that...I, uh...Ahem...I actually...l-like you, too. More than I did, at least. So...". 

Hearing those sincerely and softly spoken words brought a certain warmth to Gintoki's heart. These mutal feelings being shared felt so special and meaningful, the realisation that they felt the same way was an incredible feeling. Admitting these feelings to eachother, embracing them, being open about them...it left a new mark on their relationship. And, although their bashfullness and embarrassment was the only thing visible as of this moment, they were both just a little bit happy. Gintoki sighed, approuching Hijikata further. 

"C'mere, idiot". He muttered, taking a light hold of Hijikata's wrist to pull him in. Their foreheads met, soft inhales passing between them to take in the other's sweet and warm scent. Gintoki smirked, opening in eyes to Hijikata. "So, how do you wanna do this?" He asked. "Awkward, manly hug? Or kinda manly, no-homo kiss?"

"Are those my only two options?" 

Gintoki nodded, his soft wavy hair brushing against Hijikata's forehead. Hijikata thought about it for a second, although it didn't take long for him to reach a decision. 

"I think a kiss is fine". 

"Gotcha...". 

They both closed their eyes, tilting their heads to the side in order for their lips to meet. Hijikata wrapped his hand around the back of Gintoki's head, running his fingers through his soft, puffy, silver hair. It was a simple, soft kiss that they pulled away from within a few seconds. They stared into eachother's eyes with smiles, the kiss seemingly an apologetic one. But, then, Gintoki looked over his shoulder and down both ends of the hallway before looking back to Hijikata. Still holding his wrists, Gintoki guided Hijikata into the apartment and shut the door behind them. 

"Gintoki...?" Hijikata was obviously puzzled. "What are you-...?!" 

He didn't expect it at all. Once the front door was shut, Gintoki subtly wrapped his arms around Hijikata and brought him in for a...a hug. Hijikata's eyes were wide, his cheeks warming up. Gintoki ran his fingers through Hijikata's dark hair in order to allow him to rest his head on Gintoki's broad shoulder. Hijikata's reaction was slow, but he was silent as Gintoki held him in an awkward, but warm and cosy hug. He relaxed, his hands trembling and hesitating before wrapping around Gintoki's waist and shoulders. He shut his eyes, taking in each second. He softly inhaled into Gintoki's t-shirt, brushing his nose near his neck. They were really hugging... 

"Hijikata, I don't let my emotions out easily. This is the first time...the first time I've ever actually hugged anybody. It's nice. Really nice...to be here with you right now. I wouldn't let anyone else see me like this, after all". 

Hijikata felt a stir in his heart. His thoughts exactly, intertwind with Gintoki's. He would never let anyone else see him in such a position. Gintoki was the only one he truely allowed to see his emotions pour out, even in the form of a hug. It was a simple gesture, one he had not felt since he lived with his mother. It was warm, Gintoki's scent filling his nose and making his mind go blank. They pulled away, their eyes once again meeting. Bringing his hand to Hijikata's cheek, Gintoki cupped it, running his thumb over the smooth, flushed skin. He smiled. 

"Hey, Hijikata...". He began, sounded rather nervous. "Do you, err...Would you like me to...stay a little longer tonight? I-I dunno...You can just kick me out or whatever, but-". 

"It's okay". Hijikata interupted, a smile also on his lips. "I can kick you out...tomorrow morning...if...if that's, uh, okay with you? I-ahem...Fuck, I made it weird, didn't I?" 

Gintoki chuckled softly before planting a kiss on Hijikata's lips. 

"Don't worry about it. But, Hijikata, are you...sure about this?" 

Hijikata nodded, although he did seem a little withdrawn. 

"Yeah, I am. I do want to do it with you, Gintoki. Just...if you wanna...t-top, be gentle, otherwise I'll...kick your ass". 

"Yeah, yeah. I got it. I'll be super gentle, considering your techiniqally a first for me". 

Hijikata's cheeks flushed a darker shade of red, his body tensing up. He voluntarily chose to be on bottom for this. It couldn't have been any different from being with a woman, but with so much more awkwardness and uncertainty in the mix. Neither knew exactly what they were doing or how to really indulge in such an act when they hadn't done it with another man before. But, if they took their time and held onto the same trust that they shared for eachother, then maybe things would turn out okay. That was the hope that they both gripped onto as they led eachother into the bedroom, where the night would really begin, and finally end. By the end of this night, however, things between Gintoki and Hijikata would change. 

(Warning: Contains Graphic Sexual Content. Yeah...Here we go with the Ginhiji. If it's not for you, I'm sorry. You'll probably have to skip ahead until I place another note like this. :) If it is, enjoy). 

Their skin was already flushed, panting filling the silence as they kissed deeply. The heat resonated between them, shirtless, embarrassed, but trusting and secure-albeit not entirely comfortable. Hijikata sat on the matress, his hands shaking as he struggled to grip onto Gintoki's shoulders, resorting to wrapping his arms around his neck. He moaned softly as Gintoki rubbed and twisted their tongues together. It was slippery, wet and hotter than usual. Gintoki was kneeling, the bed creaking underneath with every single little movement he made. His arms were wrapped securely around Hijikata's waist, his breathing heavy and hot against Hijikata's moist lips. Knowing what situation he was getting into, after such a long time without sex, he feared that his libido wouldn't catch up as quickly as it used to. However, the heat within his abdomen and between his legs told him otherwise. The kiss parted, leaving them almost breathless with a string of saliva connecting them by their tongues. Each hot breath covered eachother's face, the temperature spreading to their ears by this point. With hearts pounding, shy laughter emitted from them both.

"Hah...Hey, Gintoki...you look...you look nervous. You okay?" Hijikata swallowed after exhausting his breath on that one mocking sentence. 

"Well, shit, is it obvious? Course I'm nervous. I've never...done it with a guy before. You nervous?" 

"I guess". 

"Don't gimme that. You're shivering all over...Like what you see?" 

"Shut up. Don't get so full of yourself".

With a soft chuckle, Gintoki caught Hijikata in another kiss-no matter how breathless they currently were. It was a brief kiss, a distraction to allow Gintoki to pull Hijikata down onto his back. This was how he usually did it, since he was most comfortable with this position. But upon sitting up and looking over Hijikata's body, he froze. He knew that he was doing this with another man, but it took its time to really sink in that he was faced with another man's body, flushed, Hijikata's chest rising and falling in his relaxed position-although his body language clearly conveyed anxiety and nervousness. Gintoki gulped, suddenly unable to fully recognise the situation and how to handle it. 

"Uh, you okay there?" Gintoki asked, unsure what to say. 

"I...I think so. Why? Is something up?" 

"N-no, no. I just...uhh...It's been a while for me and this is the first time I've ever been in this position with another guy, so...Just gimme a second to figure out some kind of...strategy. Err...". 

Gintoki skimmed over Hijikata's body, wondering what to touch...or taste or...anything, really. His mind raced as he hesitated. He was so uncertain about how to handle this. Should he touch his body? His "area"? There was zero experience with that kind of contact, aside from his own. Even then, he hadn't touched that part since he was a teenager. He knew he was stalling, but was there any rush? Gintoki took an internal, relaxing breath before actually letting one out. He just considered working his way from the top, down. He shifted forward, his shadow looming over Hijikata as he waited patiently for the next move. Gintoki leaned down, steadily moving closer and closer to Hijikata. Out of nervousness, he resorted to going back to their comfort zone for another second by placing a kiss on Hijikata's lips. Hijikata complied for that one second before Gintoki moved little by little onto kissing his cheek, his jawline, and then to his neck. He steadily prepared himself for the big leap, making both Hijikata and himself comfortable with what was to come. His kisses over Hijikata's neck became a little more thorough. With the sensation becoming more apparent, including Gintoki's tongue marking the skin, Hijikata turned his head to the side and held back his bottom lip to keep from letting out his voice. With hot breath and a slick tongue lapping up the skin, the ability to keep his voice down was becoming more of a challenge. 

"Mn...Hn-nnn...Haa...A-ahn...". 

Hijikata tensed up, suddenly feeling two new and different sensations at once in two different places. Gintoki pressed his tongue and lips against the sensitive crook of Hijikata's neck, eyes closed, as his hand began to slowly traverse up Hijikata's clothed leg-from his knee, slowly making its way up his thigh. It was at a slow enough pace for Hijikata to register where Gintoki was going with this action, giving him time to relax and prepare for what was next. But the reality was that neither of them were prepared for anything to come. It already felt physically weird. 

Gintoki moved his kisses down, his heart already racing as the tension built up. From experience with women, he considered the nipples to be a sensitive place for men as well. It was likely, but he didn't know if Hijikata would give any of the same reactions. He thought about it for a second, but it was clear that Hijikata was nothing like Gintoki's previous experiences-in different ways. So seeing Hijikata react to certain sensations was an uncomfortable feeling, as if Hijikata would be shedding his "demonic vice chief" persona and becoming something that Gintoki wasn't used to seeing from him. That thought was exciting, and motivated him to explore. Bringing both his lips and a free hand down to Hijikata's chest, which was still rising and falling rather heavily, Gintoki listened intently to Hijikata's voice and the soft panting that escaped from his lips. Then came the physical exploration. Gintoki flicked his finger over Hijikata's nipple, receiving quite the reaction. 

"Hmn...!" 

Hijikata kept his bottom lip back, squeezing his eyes shut, gripping the sheets with one hand while the other rested on his stomach. His neck was still exposed, the moisture from Gintoki's tongue still shining in the right light that shone from the open window. His knees had almost clamped together under the pressure, nearly trapping Gintoki's other hand between his thighs. It really was quite the reaction. Gintoki proceeded as he intended, hearing no real arguments from Hijikata. Gintoki then flicked his tongue over the other perked up nipple while his left hand slid up Hijikata's side, using his thumb to twist and circle the other perked up nub. Then the reactions started flowing from Hijikata from both his voice and his body. 

"Hm! Nn! Haa! Haa...ua-uh! Haa...G-Gin-...Gintoki-eeya!" 

Hijikata thrust his head back, suddenly feeling an intense pressure cup his crotch area. Gintoki dragged his tongue up Hijikata's neck and throat, kissing different spots as he went along. Although anxious and even a little reluctant, this was considered a part of foreplay, as much as they weren't used to it. In order for them both to feel good, there had to be some preparation, a way of getting them both in the mood. And so far, they both felt the same excitiment. Hijikata covered his mouth with the back of his hand as he watched Gintoki shakily pull down the hem of his sweatpants. Already there was a slight curve in his underwear, heat spreading throughout. Gintoki could imagine that touching Hijikata would be very similar to touching himself, only without receiving the physical pleasure from it. Strangely, Hijikata said nothing to stop or tell Gintoki to wait. Perhaps the words got caught up in his throat, maybe he wanted to stay quiet and keep some level of pride during this. Or maybe he just didn't want to ruin this moment. 

Gintoki readied himself, looking at Hijikata's face and giving a nod to get him ready. Hijikata nodded too, shutting his eyes as he tried to let out steady breathes. Pulling down Hijikata's boxer-briefs slightly, Gintoki hesitantly reached in a little-a small gasp escaping from Hijikata-and taking out Hijikata's slight erection. Embarrassed, Hijikata chose not to look. He said nothing, knowing that his shyness would only present itself through trembling words. Gintoki hesitated, his gaze shifting every now and then before he came up with a sort of solution to his own shyness. Because, already, he was beginning to get cold feet. 

"Hijikata, could you, uh, turn around?" 

"Wh-what...?" Hijikata opened his eyes, questioning Gintoki's odd request. "You mean, lie on my stomach?" 

"Y-yeah...I'm just a little...uncomfortable, staring directly at...it". 

Hijikata considered the request for a moment, but saw the benefits in it. After all, if they weren't looking directly at eachother, it would be less awkward. Plus, Gintoki wouldn't be able to see Hijikata's face because-inevitably-it could only grow a darker shade of red. Hijikata gave a nod, carefully turning his body around until he was leaning on his chest and forearms, propping his knees up so that Gintoki had more reach. For comfort, and out of instinct, Gintoki reached his free hand towards Hijikata's, lacing the fingers together in a single heart-pounding moment that left them both flustered. Almost like squeezing someone's hand when they're about to get an injection. Gintoki eased his other hand around Hijikata's waist, his heart pounding. When finding the right body part, Hijikata flinching under such a gentle touch. Gintoki found that it was already a little hard, but hot as well. Gulping, Gintoki explored his fingers over the base using touch alone. He guided his fingers over the hot skin before taking a hold. 

"N-now, I've only done this sorta thing to myself, so bear with it, okay?" 

"O-okay, just...go for it".

"This might end up being a little rough later. So, just relax". 

Gintoki began moving his hand along Hijikata's private area, receiving a few quivering breaths from him. Closing his eyes, Gintoki tried to imagine that it was his own in order to feel more comfortable with this action. However, it was more difficult than he originally thought. He rubbed up and down, his imagination distracted by Hijikata's soft voice and heavy panting. Hijikata's fingers squeezed around his as more pressure was applied, Gintoki's fingers running over the head and the tip curiously. 

"Haah, haa...a-ah...mmn, nnh...Haah...Gintoki, hah...". Hijikata bit his bottom lip as he let out muffled moans, trying to keep himself from asking Gintoki to go faster. It was on the tip of his tongue, but his pride kept his desires grounded. 

Gintoki leaned his chest over Hijikata's back to gain more reach, his hand moving a little faster on its own, like he usually did it. It was so odd, making the same motions as if doing it to himself, but receiving no physical pleasure from it. The one he was giving pleasure to was Hijikata. Despite this, Gintoki did feel some kind of pleasure from making Hijikata feel good. Panting against Hijikata's nape, Gintoki could feel himself prode at Hijikata from behind. It really had been a long time, seeing as he was surprisingly more active than usual. Unconsciously pressing himself further against Hijikata, the buldge in Gintoki's sweatpants pushed between Hijikata's thighs. The sudden sensation surprised Hijikata, a gasp escaping him as he clamped around Gintoki with his thighs. 

"Agh...!" Gintoki moaned, the pressure both painful and pleasurable. His hand movements stopped abruptly as the pressure sunk in. 

"Ah, Gintoki, are you alright? What the hell are you doing back there?" 

"Gah...Hijikata...Fuck, that felt...weird". 

"Wha-what did? When I clamped around your...y-you know...?" 

"Yeah...". Gintoki looked over Hijikata's clothed thighs, wondering if he could feel good from this too. "Hey, Hijikata, can I make a request? Is it alright if I...uh...g-get off, using your...thighs?" It was an odd and embarrassing request, but Gintoki was moving on instinct here. 

"Wh-what?! How would that even work?! Are you a pervert?" 

"Well we both are now, considering our situation. Look, I won't stop what I'm doing with you, I just...I've gotta relieve myself too, ya know". 

Hijikata sighed, his eyes shifting towards his hand intertwind with Gintoki's. Was it fair? Gintoki had mustered up the courage to touch him like this, so...it must have been okay, no matter how shy he was to such a foreign feeling. 

"Fine...Okay, just...be careful". 

"I will. Thanks...". Gintoki placed a kiss on the back of Hijikata's head, down to his nape and shoulder too. 

Hijikata's pants were lowered first off all, a breeze sweeping inbetween and causing a shiver to run through his legs. Gintoki then lowered his own bottoms nervously, but encouraged himself a little with the curiosity of how it would feel. Still leaning his chest over Hijikata's back, Gintoki directed himself between Hijikata's thighs. He let out a trembling sigh at the sensation. It was soft and warm, a little moist from sweat. Hijikata kept his legs at this close distance, moaning softly as he found a new sensitivity ripple through his skin like shock waves. Once Gintoki had inserted himself through the small gap between Hijikata's shivering thighs, he let out a sigh of relief before taking another hold of Hijikata's neglected erection in his hand, as well as his own. 

"A-ahn! Haah...Haa, Gintoki...Gi-ugh! Huu! Uh!" 

Gintoki began moving his hips back and forth while stroking their erections together. He panted heavily against Hijikata's neck and back as the pleasure he hadn't felt for so long coursed through him. Hijikata's panting became more erratic, his hand squeezing Gintoki's tightly as he tried to bear with the pleasure, as he tried to process every sensation that ran through his more sensitive spots. Gintoki continued thrusting, the pressure feeling better than ever once he sped up. What made it even better was hearing Hijikata's voice and the calling of his name through heavy panting and sweet moans of pure ecstacy. 

"Haa! Haah! G-Gintoki...mnn!-mnh! Ah-Haah..." 

"Hijikata...Hijikata, does it really feel good? Sounds like it". 

"Sh-shu-uh! Gh! Hmn! Nh! Aah-hhah! Gin-...-toki...W-wait, that's enou-uh! Haah! That's enou-uhn! Enou-...!" . 

Unable to rasp out coherent words, Hijikata was on the verge of release. His erection leaked a thick fluid that dripped or spurted from stimulation. It had been such a long time-for them both. Gintoki was in the exact same position, his release drawing in closer. 

"Haah...Hijikata, it feels so goo-...uh...Haa, it feels good. Shit, I'm not...gonna last. Hijikata...Hijikata!" 

Gintoki's grasp on Hijikata's hand tightened until his knuckles turned white above red ones. His lips pressed against Hijikata's nape affectionately, pecking across his broad shoulder. Upon slicking his tongue up Hijikata's ear on instinct, Hijikata cried out, his cock sputtering from the sudden mix of pleasure. His heart pounded against the walls of his chest like the pounding of a steel drump, his legs going weak as sweet relief wasn't too far behind. They could both feel it, ready to burst. What made this sensation a lot more pleasurable was the fact that Gintoki's hands were bigger than a woman's, and had a stronger grip. He was on the verge of coming just from the pressure and the softness of Gintoki's hands. 

"Ha-ahn! A-agh! Gh-nn! Mnn! Haah, haa! Gintoki, I'm gonna...I'm about to-...!" 

"Me too...God, I'm not ready for this...Hng! Ahh...Hijikata, it's-haah! A-aah!" 

"Uah-ah! Aaaaah!" 

They both released, the fluids thick and escaping harder than they expected. Both backed up with years of deprivity, they couldn't stop their voices from coming out at the pleasure pushed them over the edge. Gintoki weighed down on Hijikata a bit, although trying his hardest to stay upright so that Hijikata wouldn't get crushed. Knees quaking, Hijikata just managed to part his legs, releasing Gintoki from his grip. His legs then went limp, flopping across the matress as he panted heavily. 

"Everything okay?" Gintoki asked, his chest heaving. 

"I think so. I'm tired...". 

"Seriously? We haven't even finished. Old age gettin' to you yet?" 

"Hah, not as bad as you". 

To prove this, Hijikata pushed himself onto his side before shifting and adjusting his postion until he could land flat on his back. His eyes met Gintoki's, and they shared smiles. Reaching up weakly, Hijikata grasped Gintoki's chin, brushing his thumb across the skin. They were looking right at eachother, seemingly more comfortable after already doing what they just did. Gintoki bent his back down, practically being pulled in by Hijikata until their lips met softly, as well as their tongues colliding and tangling together. Gintoki took the opportunity to take the next step. He grasped Hijikata's sweatpants and boxer-briefs firmly, pulling them down Hijikata slim, quivering legs.

Their kiss parted, and they both paused. More hesitation, more lack of knowledge on where to go or how to begin the next step. 

"What next...?" Gintoki asked, looking to Hijikata as if he had all the answers. 

"D-don't ask me...I don't know. I guess you have to...er, p-prepare me...for it. Ehem, you know, like with a woman, I guess?" It was degrading to say such things, but what needed to be done had to be done. There was no way around it. Besides, they had both gone soft after coming once already. 

"Well, it's not really like with a woman, Hijikata". 

"Because I'm a man, I know". 

"It's...not that". Hijikata was puzzled, but soon received his answer that left him speechless and flustered to his ears. "You're different from them, meaning I actually like you more than any woman I've ever been with. It feels kinda special, huh?" 

"You-...!". 

"So, I guess I just use my fingers and-ah! Oww...". Hijikata smacked his hand on Gintoki's forehead, scowling. 

"Do you enjoy trying to embarrass me? Don't be so cheesy-I mean, come on...". 

"But it's true. I've never felt this uncomfortable sleeping with anyone. It's pretty crazy, don't you think?" Gintoki smiled through heavy panting. 

Even through the darkness, Gintoki's eyes were shining like they did the first time they kissed. He looked...quite handsome, actually. With such a smile and with such sincerity and humor mixed into his words, Hijikata felt conflicted. He didn't know whether to feel extremely bashful or just the tiniest bit happy that Gintoki took this as seriously as a guy like him could manage. 

"I guess...". Hijikata began, his eyes shifting to look at Gintoki. "I guess being uncomfortable isn't a bad thing all the time". 

"Exactly. I'm still kinda uncomfortable with touching you, but I think we'll do okay. Now, er, maybe I should...uh...do something to help prepare you. This could feel rough, considering where I'm putting my finger-so get ready". 

Gintoki began slicking up his middle finger with his tongue, dragging his tongue along it like a cat grooming itself. He looked like a cat, anyway. He then slicked up a second finger, which seemed fine...until he placed three past his lips and began sucking on them. Hijikata grew worried. Three? Three whole fingers? He could manage two, but three? No way...No way would that fit. 

"Gintoki, hold on a moment". 

"Do you want properly prepared or not?" Gintoki asked once he removed his fingers from his mouth, moisture covering them. "Look, it's just to be safe-I understand that much. Now, try and relax while I do this. I dunno how it's gonna feel for you, so just stay calm, okay? I'll try to be as gentle as possible". 

"You seem more confident than before. Did I hit your head harder than I thought?" 

"Nah, I'm just being safe. Not like I know what I'm doing completely, but it should be fine. Tell me if it hurts anywhere". 

"...Fine". 

Gintoki spread out Hijikata's leg with one hand, reaching his other out towards Hijikata's entrance. He knew this was going to be done anyway, so there was no harm in looking where he was going, no matter how flushed Hijikata got from being stared at. Gintoki, as genlty as he could, proded the entrance with his middle, lubed up finger, running any exceeded moisture, or saliva, over the entrance. Hijikata moaned, gripping the sheets underneath him. He curled his toes, moaning again when he felt Gintoki push his finger inside. It was tight and incredibly hot, but it was neccessary-as established so that it wouldn't hurt later on. Gintoki slowly moved his finger in and out, rubbing his fingertip against Hijikata's walls. Moaning and gasping, Hijikata clenched around Gintoki's finger. 

"How is it? Hurt or anything?" Gintoki asked, his consideration easing Hijikata's nervousness just a little. 

"N-no, but it feels weird...Really weird". 

"Just hang on. Tell me when its okay to add another". 

"You, haa, do seem more relaxed than before. Getting used to this sorta thing already, Gintoki?" 

"Not really. I'm nervous as hell. But, I think it'll be worth it in then end". 

Gintoki pushed his finger deeper inside, as far as it could go, as many times as he could until Hijikata's volume lowered in ease. 

"O-okay, add another". 

Of course Hijikata sounded anxious. This gap would only get a little wider with each of the three fingers, and then stretch out more when Gintoki found the right time to penetrate. It was an almost scary thought, but to hold onto whatever pride he had left, he chose not to admit it. All he could openly say was that he was nervous. After going so far, fear wasn't an option. Gintoki pushed a second finger deep within, deeper than he could with the first as both provided more access, as well as the capability to stretch him out. Gintoki thrust his fingers slowly at first, gradually rubbing and curling his fingers against the walls-which eventually softened under Gintoki's gentle touch. 

"M-mmn! Haa, hoo...A-agh...haah, ha-ahn, nhah! Gi-hnn!-nnh! N-not so d-deep! G-Gintoki!" 

Hijikata had become hard once this action had become more thorough, a tingly feeling radiating from within. His erection twitched whenever Gintoki pressed the tips of his fingers and the very edge of his nails against the deepest spot. 

"I'm adding another, okay? Just a little more". 

"Haah...A-alright, but then that's it. After that just-gh! Hnnh! Nnn!" 

Hijkata gripped the bedsheets still, squeezing his eyes shut as Gintoki pushed in a third and final finger. It was tight again, and a little painful, but this was a good chance to speed up Gintoki's preparation, while also making sure that Hijikata was comfortable enough for the final part. Gintoki explored the tight space with his fingers with whatever room he had to move. He reached as far as he could go, rubbing his fingers along the upper, softer walls when... 

"Hnah?! Agh! Haah...haa...". Gintoki stopped upon hearing Hijikata cry out. His eyes were watering, his head collapsing back once Gintoki had ceased his movements. By the sound of his voice, Gintoki reckoned that he just found the most sensitive place. A spot on Hijikata's prostate. It twitched around Gintoki's fingers, motivating him to continue. After all, hearing that kind of voice escape from Hijikata was thrilling to Gintoki. And, honestly, it was a turn-on. 

"Haah...a-auh! Hahh, wha-agh! A-ahn! Haah! Haa! G-Gin-nnh! N-no-auh! Not the-ere! It feels...t-too wei-eek! Too weird! I ca-aah!" 

Gintoki moved his fingers quickly while repeatedly rubbing that spot over and over in a curling motion. Hijikata's insides began to feel wet and slippery, a warm fluid leaking out from his behind. And it was then, and only then, when Hijikata managed to relax and didn't feel so tight, that Gintoki pulled his fingers out and readied himself for the biggest leap in this relationship thus far. 

"Are you ready, Hijikata? I feel like I'll lose my mind if I wait anymore. I may not be hard enough, but hopefully I will be once I enter. You okay with doing this now?" 

"Haah...Y-yeah, okay. Yeah-let's do it. But, seriously, be gentle. I don't wanna wake up tomorrow with a sore ass". 

"I can't make any promises. Now, come here". Gintoki leaned into Hijikata, capturing his lips in a firm kiss as Hijikata captured Gintoki's neck and shoulders in a firm, but affectionate hold. 

Pulling away just slightly, the tips of their noses still touching, with heavy breaths, and even heavier hearts, Gintoki took the initiative and spread out Hijikata's legs even further. He swallowed, taking out his erection and proding Hijikata's prepared entrance as he readied himself to begin. Then...he did begin. First the tip and the head was guided inside...

"Hng! N-nnh! Haah!" ...provoking a few uncomfortable groans and gasps from Hijikata. 

Then Gintoki pushed in the base inch by inch, the tight feelings once again wrapping around him, only more painfully than with his fingers. It was so, so hot, and tight. Gintoki panted, feeling himself get bigger with anticipation. 

"Gh-yah!-ahn! A-aagh! Ah! Hah! Haa! Ya-Aah! Aaaah!" 

Hijikata moaned and cried out, his hands shaking as they gripped onto the bedsheets as tightly as possible. His toes curled from under the sudden pressure of being filled up so quickly. He couldn't prevent the need to clench around Gintoki in a failed attempt to relax. His breathing became more erratic, pain seeping its way inside and practically tearing him apart. But, luckily, Gintoki had to stop eventually. He managed to halt at the deepest point within Hijikata, leaving him to pant and sweat as the heat covered his body. Sweat beads ran down his back and a sucking sensation almost pulled Gintoki in as far as he could go. 

"You okay, Gintoki?" 

"Dumbass...That's my line. Agh, fuck...It's so tight, but...I need to move...Hijikata, I-". 

"It's fine". Hijikata quickly answered, wrapping an arm around Gintoki's neck once again. "You said you'd be gentle, remember? I trust you...". 

Gintoki's face was already quite hot from the situation, but this felt different. Hijikata really could be cute when he wanted to be, even when he didn't realise it. And it was so rare for him to act this way. 

"Damn it...". Gintoki twitched, his erection growing bigger. He didn't want to hold anything back anymore. 

Wrapping an arm around one of Hijikata's legs while the othe hand gripped the sheets by Hijikata's head, the thrusting began. It was slow at first, easing into something faster, gradually. The physical pressure built up, slight pain hitting Hijikata's insides. It wasn't rough or forced, it was just normal for their first time. He let out heavy breaths, moaning and gasping as Gintoki's cock rubbed against his walls. 

"Ah! Ah! Aa!-ahn! Haa! Haa! Ku-ugh! Nnh! N-nah! Gintoki! Gintoki~!" 

"Hah...haa...This...kinda hurts" 

"Y-yeah, it-ugh! Uh-ah! Haah! H-hurts..." 

"Just...relax, okay? Agh, shit...Haa...". 

Gintoki moved his hips back and forth, hitting different spots at an even faster pace. He let go of Hijikata's leg, allowing both to wrap around his waist as Hijikata's toes curled. The pain did gradually fade as the thrusting went on. A nice feeling turned into a better feeling, a better feeling became pleasure and, with the extra help of Gintoki stroking Hijikata's neglecting erection, pleasure very quickly turned into intense pleasure. Rubbing against the exact spot that made Hijikata's moans loud and sensual was guiding them both in the right direction for an amazing feeling of release. Hijikata's body twitched and shuddered with the constand feeling of Gintoki softening him on the inside. His legs felt wobbly, like they had melted into jelly. The moaning and the cries overwhlemed his ability to hold back. Although shameful and embarrassing, he could no longer deny this amazing feeling that was hitting him deeply within. 

"Haa! Hah! Ah! Ah! Ahn! G-Gintoki, it's...ugh! Uhn! Nn!" 

"Hijikata, does it feel good?" 

"Uh-huh...It's starting to...It really-hn!-nnh! Na-hah! Feels so-oh! Good! Ah! Aah!" 

"It feels good for me too...The best, actually...Haa...Hijikata, I think I'm gonna come soon...Haah, aah...". 

It wasn't long now. With each hard thrust and with the soft, wet sensation squeezing around Gintoki, there was no holding back in their upcoming release. They readied themselves for that in the short time they had. Sweat covered their bodies, pleasure coursed through all the right places, and this new connection had formed between the two with so many feelings revolving around it. After the different experiences that Gintoki had, he couldn't help but realise that doing this with Hijikata, with feelings added to the mixture of pleasure and heat, felt a lot better than it had with anyone he's ever been with. 

"A-ahh! Ah! Gintoki! I'm co-auuh! Aa-aaah! Ah!-Uuaaaah!" 

"Hijika-...-ta...ah-aah!"

Hijikata came, clenching around Gintoki for the last time and giving him the release he so desired with one last thrust of his hips. The load was heavy, exploding and coating Hijikata's insides until it overflowed and leaked out. Hijikata let out several soft moans and gasps as he emptied out all the backed up residue. Heavy panting filled the room, the two men finally cooling down after such a heated moment. Gintoki pulled out slowly, collapsing on top of Hijikata in exhaustion. Hijikata groaned in pain, gripping Gintoki's arm. 

"Agh, Gin-Gintoki, you're...heavy. Haah...I can't breathe...Fwahh...".

"Just...for a little while...". 

Gintoki's response surprised Hijikata. What was more surprising was when Gintoki held Hijikata tightly in his arms, running his fingers through Hijikata's hair as he brought his head closer into the embrace. Turning their heads towards eachother, the tips of their noses and their eyes met. Letting out heavy, exhausted breaths, they brought eachother into a deep kiss. Gintoki found the energy to raise himself up from Hijikata, parting from their kiss as he did. Their foreheads met instead, a gentle and caring gesture which made them falter in ease. Silence, hearts calming down to a slower pace. The night was over, but it was like a new chapter in their relationship had begun. Not much in terms of banter and shenanignas would change, but they were happy to share this passionate and caring moment together. Once again, Hijikata wrapped his arms around Gintoki's neck, bringing him closer and into another deep and heated kiss until they would melt in eachothers arms and allow the night to fade away while under warm sheets. And when the sun would come up...a new chapter would begin... 

... 

Gintoki softly inhaled into soft and sweet-smelling strands of Hijikata's hair as he returned to consciousness. The distant sound of chirping could be heard as daybreak came through from the outside. Gintoki took another deep breath, his arms still embracing Hijikata from last night. Hijikata was warm, quiet, peaceful, and still asleep. His forehead leaned against Gintoki's slowly rising and falling chest, his arms still around Gintoki's sides. Knowing that he was still asleep, Gintoki took this golden opportunity to get back to sleep himself. If it meant no work and that he could spend a little longer in such a warm cuddle with Hijikata, then it was reasonable. He kept his eyes shut, his lips meeting the top of Hijikata's head. Settling down once more, toes curling under toasty sheets, they began to melt once more in eachothers arms as soft breaths passed between them in this relaxing position. They would have stayed asleep, if not for the subtle noise that woke them both up. 

Gintoki's stomach growled, making him let out a sigh as Hijikata shifted and shuffled around in his arms. Now they were both awake. Hijikata let out a soft groan, slowly blinking his eyes open. His mind was blank, his body comfty. In such a position, he could easily drift back off to sleep, but it wasn't going to happen as of then when realising that Gintoki was awake too. Gintoki pulled back from the cuddle slightly, although still keeping an arm around Hijikata as he stared at his face, smiling softly. With half-lidded eyes, Hijikata stared back, obviously still half-asleep. 

"Good morning...". He greeted casually, rubbing the sand out his eyes. 

"Mornin' sleepy-head". Gintoki's greeting was just as casual. "How you feeling after...you know, last night?" 

"My hips hurt like crazy...". Hijikata muttered, although still smiling. "How about you?" 

"I feel great, actually". 

"Tch, rub it in my face, why don't you...Well, it doesn't feel all bad. Aside from my hips, I feel pretty good too".

"Good to know". 

Hijikata yawned, covering up his morning breath with the back of his hand. Not caring for such things, Gintoki pushed aside Hijikata's loose strands of hair and kissed his temple. Right after, he pulled back further until he lay on his back, staring up at the ceiling. With a deep inhale, he pushed his hands behind his head as he recalled last night. It felt so good, better than he ever expected. And, strangely enough, he felt like less of a pervert while doing it. It felt kinda normal, but also weird and fantastic at the same time. After such a long time of deprivity, Gintoki now felt fresh and more comfortable than he did before, like suddenly gaining a streak of confidence in one's own actions. He always thought that the next time he would have sex it would definitely be with Ketsuno Ana, one way or another. However, he felt happier that it was with Hijikata. The fact that they had become so close and connected with eachother made all the sensations come to life in a way that Gintoki had never imagined, like when you try something totally new that goes beyond your comfort zone or usual routine. It felt as mild as trying out a new foreign food to something thrilling and extreme as going sky-diving for the first time. Inbetween those, for Gintoki, it was sleeping with somone whom he actually really cared about. In other words, Hijikata. 

Another growl rumbled through Gintoki's stomach. He rested his hand over his abdomen in the hopes that the noise would stop, but the emptiness still remained. Hijikata inhaled deeply as he sat up onto his side, propping himself up on his elbow and forearm as he looked down at Gintoki, his expression straightening out. 

"Hungry...?" He asked upon realising the emptiness in his own stomach, rubbing the sand out of his eyes. "I could go make breakfast, if you would like". Hijikata quickly checked the time on his digital clock by Gintoki, on top of the other bed-side table. "I have to be at work in about two hours, so I've got time". 

"You sure? I'm starving, so thanks". 

"Yeah, no problem. I'll just-ghh!" Upon sitting up proplerly, Hijikata groaned in pain, his hips aching throughout the muscle and bone. 

He was definitely in pain from the other night, and the only person really responsiboe for that was Gintoki. It was bit of a pain, and he was usually morr lazy, but...Gintoki sat up too, placing his hand on Hijikata's shoulder as if telling him to hold on for a moment. 

"With your permission, I'll make breakfast". He suggested. 

"Are you sure? I mean, this is my apartment, so-". 

"Doesn't matter. I'll make it, so just sit tight. It'll only be this once, after all". 

Hijikata thought about it for a moment as the pain in his hips sunk in. Gintoki really was usually more lazy than that. It wasn't as if he wasn't capable, though. From reading his books, Gintoki could work hard and take responsibility when he needed to. And at a time like this, Hijikata really needed the assistance-although he wouldn't word it that way.

"Alright, fine". Hijikata muttered, giving in. "But don't you dare use up all the mayo. There's a bottle or two there, so use that". 

"Hijikata, I'm not making dog food for breakfast. No mayo". 

"It's not dog food. And mayo is the best food-it goes with everything, unlike your weird taste for adzuki beans". 

"No way, sweet beans are way better. Anyway, I'll be right back". 

"Yeah, yeah, okay. Just come right back, okay? I'm starving, and...it's cold". 

Hijikata turned his back when saying the last part, quietly. He opened up the end table on his end, reaching in for his spare cigarettes. Gintoki was practically astonished. In a subtle, amd definitely adorable way, Hijikata just admitted to wanting Gintoki to cuddle him more because it was "cold". It was a warm summer morning, actually, even when they were both barely wearing any clothes. Gintoki forgot about breakfast for a moment and just studied Hijikata's form as his back faced Gintoki. He...really was attractive. Handsome and cute...what a combination for Gintoki. He felt so content in the atmosphere, in this environment, in this moment with Hijikata. A soft smile curved onto Gintoki's lips as Hijikata had just placed a cigarette between his. Once again, warmth had enveloped Hijikata-much to his surprise. He felt the tight squeeze of Gintoki's arms around him for a mere second before it settled into a more cosy hug. 

"Wha-...". Hijikata paused to take the cigarette from his lips. He turned his head as far as he could to try and face Gintoki. Unfortunately, due to the angle, Hijikata couldn't see the smile on Gintoki's face. "Oi, what the hell are you doing? Weren't you going to start breakfast". 

"Not yet. You've got two hours, so let's just stay like this for a little longer. Besides, you said you were cold, right? I'm pretty cold, too, Hi-ji-ka-ta-kun". 

Hijikata face flushed, but he bit his tongue, not wanting to argue back as it would only give Gintoki the opportunity to tease him more. That's exactly what this was. Teasing. 

Two hours...That's all Hijikata had before starting work, but he felt that Gintoki wouldn't let him go that easily. It had only been their first night sleeping together, yet Gintoki was suddenly struck with confidence that he hadn't had before. And, although it was a little puzzling at first glance, Hijikata could understand why he was so active towards him all of a sudden, why Gintoki was looking at him that way and suddenly trying these new things with so much excitement and enthusiasm. He was happy. He was happy to do these new things with someone special, finally. These new feelings of "like" and a sense of "caring" arose between them over these couple of weeks. And now that the awkwardness was almost completely gone, they could be comfortable and show how happy they were. Hijikata could sense that from Gintoki because he...well, he felt the exact same way. For the first time in a long time, he was happy to step forth into this kind of relationship. And there was nothing he wanted to hold back, ever again...His expression softened at the thought, his eyes closing as he, too, eased into this comfortable position once again. Maybe for just a little while, then...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haaaaah....That was long and tiring....Faaaaah....I told you, it was something. If you weren't into it, I'm sorry. For one, the tags and the rating explains everything. If you weren't into it, it would have been best to gently close the tab. If you were into it ,great~. If anyone wasn't, tell me and I'll definitely put up a warning next time, of some sort, before I actually start writing those types of scenes. Speaking of which, I was gonna add Bansai and Takasugi, but that would have taken up a lot more time for me to write. But it is coming, if anyone would like that. This was just the "physical establishment", as we shall call it, of Gintoki and Hijikata's relationship. They did it! :D 
> 
> Also, I wanted to make it realistic, since neither of them would know what they're doing, after all. Hope it was okay and not too awkward or anything. (Probably was since their relationship so far has been awkwardness and some feels :p) Well...Now they do...kind of. I know it sounds stupid, but I was on the verge of tearing up when I was writing about Gintok and Hijikata hugging. God, I'm a crybaby. Haha...Anyway, thank you very much for reading and for giving your continued support to this story. Sorry it was out later than usual, but those scenes take me forever to write.  
> Until next time. Bye.
> 
> P.S. For Hijigin lovers, it's coming. Don't worry. ;)


	10. An Achievement Doesn't Need To Be A Thing To Grab For The Taking, But Perhaps A Life Lesson Well Earned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have returned! Let the story continue. I hope you all enjoy. I have nothing more to add, so I apologise. Anyway, here we go.

Even while asleep, peacefully, restful, it was obvious that it felt a little emptier in his bed. Gintoki was reminded of that when he awoke that particular morning, a Tuesday. This wasn't too long after his first night sleeping with Hijikata, consummating their relationship within the darkness and the comfort of Hijikata's bedroom. After he went to work the morning after, Gintoki was unable to contact him for nearly a week now. The last phone call, Hijikata said that work was keeping him busy and that he barely had the time to go back to the apartment. It was a shame, and Gintoki felt genuinly discouraged by it. Right after they have sex for the first time, they're not able to see eachother for nearly a week. And the emptiness of Gintoki's bed...What a reminder. He was also reminded of the storm heading his way. It had only been about a year since the last one-but, this wasn't just any storm. Oh, no. After hearing about such news, here could now only be a calm-the last few moments spent quietly underneath his bedsheets without a single interuption-before the shit-storm headed his way.

There was a creak of the floorboards, and in that moment Gintoki knew it had already begun. Just that tiny, insignificant sound made him want to fall back asleep and forget all about that day, to avoid today. But, no. There were always some dreams or wishes that we are unable to reach, situations we are unable to avoid. And today, of all days, this was one of them. Tue creaking continued, a pause in the movements as the noise emitted. Then, before long, Gintoki could sense the presence right beside him. Although his head buried into his pillow, he was awake and fully aware who it was. He took a tight grip on the bed covers, tighter as the silence filled the room, and then... 

"Congratulations, Gin-chan~!" The storm had begun, like a crack of thunder in the distance-nearing Gintoki with every strike. 

There was a popping sound beside him, which he chose to ignore. Still gripping the bedsheets, he threw them over his head as a way to ignore Kagura in her giddy mood. Due to the action, that mood didn't last very long. 

"Oi! I just decided to surprise you with a congratulations-and this is the thanks I get, you stupid natural perm?! I bought a party-popper with my allowance and everything, aru~!" 

"So noisy...". 

"What did you just say?! I'll kick you into next week, aru!" 

"Good. Just make today go by faster". 

"Why? Isn't this a big deal for you? That's what Granny told me". 

Of course, the old hag talked to Kagura again. The usual girl gossip-the thought of which making Gintoki's ears ring. He stuck his pinky finger in his ear to dig out that wretched noise, flicking whatever came out to the other end of the room. 

"Come on, Gin-chan, wakey-wakey~!" Kagura tugged on the covers to pull them off, although Gintoki still had a strong grip on them. "Hrrnnnnng! Ah, why are you so persistent?! Get up already, 'cause Granny said you were suppose to be in the office today. Go to work~!" 

"Kagura, you should probably know that pulling off the covers is a bad idea, since I'm only wearing boxers right now". 

Kagura immediatly let go of the covers, disgusted by that piece of information. 

"Yuuuck! Adults are so filthy...I'm gonna go wash out my ears with bleach...And you should still get up because I'm hungry and I want breakfast, aru".

Once Kagura had exited the room, Gintoki let out a deep sigh against his pillow. He slowly sat up onto his knees, the covers sliding down his back and to his waist. Rolling his neck, several cracks emitted as the muscles and joints around his back loosened up. He groaned, and then let out a long sigh. Today...Today was the day that Gintoki didn't care much about, but everyone around him made such a big deal about it. About a week prior to that day, Gintoki received a letter saying that he was nominated for the Naoki Prize, a literature award given semi-annually each year around summer. It was one of the highest ranked awards that an author in Japan could receive, whether they were new authors or had been quite well-known for a few years. It wasn't the first time he was nominated, but he had also won three times during the middle of his career as an author. Even then, Gintoki didn't care much for it. He didn't care for awards or praise. He just wanted to write books. In the beginning, he didn't know of such perks to becoming an author. But, to him, it was of a burden. Whether he won, or was simply nominated, it was a pain to attend the very few ceremonies that he actually went to. The most times he attended was twice, and an author he had never even heard about until then had won. 

The second time, he had won, received the award and had to give a stupid speech. He could remember still...the look...the look Takasugi gave him that evening. Total and utter disdain. What was it at now? What was the score? Gintoki sighed at the thought: he had lost track. Every test, every grade, ever contest, every award...He shook his head, reluctantly getting out of bed to start the long day ahead of him. And this one was going to be a long day. 

... 

Sunlight poured through the crack in the curtains, a glow emitting from behind the thin layer of cloth that covered the windows. The bedsheets shifted, warmth covering Takasugi's body-as he had only just realised that it had been a peaceful night, that he had a clear head. No nightmares. It was a strange thought, considering how tense he was the past week. He inhaled deeply, letting out a deeper breath as he clung to the warmth and the tender body that clung to him as well. Fingers still through his hair, toes meeting in the middle, bare but warm under the bedsheets. Takasugi closed his eye once again, the other hidden under loose bangs, but with no patch or bandage to cover his old scar. He was comfortable. Sore and almost in disbelief of the previous night, but comfortable. He didn't want to wake up yet. For the first time in a long time, he longed for sleep. To close his eyes, allow his corrupted mind to fade into darkness while he continued to embrace the warmth, to be embraced by Bansai. It had been so long since he felt this way. To be so trusting and to enjoy such intamacy. He thought for sure he would end up sitting there, frozen, shaking, unable to do anything. He could still remember Bansai's softly spoken words as he was pulled into his arms. 

Thinking about each and every moment of the night now, Takasugi felt this sort of quiet amazement. He had never been touched in such an odd way before. But, he had to admit, it felt very good while it lasted. Plus, Bansai was gentle with him. So, so gentle, and considerate. It went at a nice pace, too. They took their time and did what they had to do, even if Takasugi made noises that he thought such a closed book like himself could never make. It was quite embarrassing, actually. He rested his forehead against Bansai's chest, which gently arose and fell as he breathed softly. Still asleep, which was unlike him. Well, at least at that time. Perhaps it was because Takasugi wasn't used to seeing Bansai in such a vulnerable state. And it was a rare sight to see him without his usual pair of glasses. Even if his eyes were closed, it still felt so unfamiliar.

Back to sleep it was. There was no need to get up so soon anyway, even if this was a big day. The only time he planned on visiting the office was in the afternoon, when Gintoki wouldn't be there. Takasugi relaxed a little, hiding his face against Bansai's chest once more. Just as he plunged his surroundings back into darkness, Takasugi felt a pair of soft lips kiss the top of his head. He smirked, saying nothing. Bansai knew he was awake, and there was no hiding it. Takasugi simply wanted to indulge this moment quietly. It wasn't often that he would wake up feeling at peace and comfortable. It was the first time anyone had saw his face without anything being hidden. Nothing was said about it that night, nothing needed to be said. 

"Morning. Sleep well?" Bansai asked, muttering softly. 

"You could say that". Takasugi simply answered, still smirking.

"Are you...in any pain?" 

"A little, but I can handle it. It's not a big deal". 

Takasugi carefully rolled on his back , stretching with a strained groan. Still quite close, he allowed Bansai to loom over him a little. Takasugi's loose bangs were shifted away from his face, although his scar remained covered up. Bansai cupped his cheek, kissing his lips and going in for a deep kiss right off the bat. Takasugi smirked against Bansai's lips, chuckling softly as he wondered how Bansai could be so intimate so early in the morning. It wasn't shock or surprise, but fascination. Bansai parted the kiss, his expression straight. 

"Is something funny?" He asked, brushing a strand of Takasugi's hair between his thumb and the base of his finger. It was silky... 

"N-no, I don't find anything funny. Not really, anyway. I was just wondering how you could still have so much energy after last night. I'm still worn out. But old age comes with its burdens, I suppose". 

"You're not old, Shinsuke. Just a little older than me. Twenty-six and a half is not old". 

"I suppose. I just feel older around you, especially last night. Never knew you had it in you to do...such things". 

"Hm, me neither, I daresay. I never knew your voice could come out like that. So sensual and...amazing". 

"Don't make fun of me". 

"...I would never". 

Bansai placed several kisses on Takasugi's face; his cheeks, his jaw, chin, lips and even one just above his scar. It was the most affection Bansai had ever shown anyone. At least as far as Takasugi knew. He was like Takasugi in those respects. He kept to himself most of the time and didn't appear to be the affectionate type. So, while in this state of solitude, with Takasugi, Bansai could bring out this side that even he never knew about. It wasn't like he would show it often or around anyone else. Takasugi was the only one, so far at least. And, well, Takasugi wasn't sure how to feel about that. He didn't hate it...He just wasn't used to being kissed and cuddled so much. Even his parents refrained from giving him kisses on the cheek or forehead. He chose to abandon such thoughts as quickly as possible, any sentimate thought about his parents disgusting him. Bansai ceased kissing Takasugi, noticing his silence and the expression on his face. 

"Is something the matter, Shinsuke? Are you uncomfortable with me kissing you?" 

"...No, not at all. It's quite the opposite, actually. I suppose it's...nice, just like this. Ahem-uh...I...I'm speaking utter nonsense, aren't I? Excuse me...". 

"...No need to apologise". Bansai ran his fingers up Takasugi's wrist, across his palm before lacing through his fingers. "There's no need at all. This is quite nice. Just us...here. You think so too, huh?" 

Takasugi nodded, not wanting to give an explicit answer, as he felt quite self-conscious just admitting these feelings in the first place. Bansai leaned in once more, guiding Takasugi into another kiss. It was softer, more mellow and relaxing. Even so, Takasugi's heart pounded just a little faster in his chest. 

"...Haah...Your hair has gotten a little longer". Bansai pointed out with a soft sigh, right after parting the kiss.

"Is that so? Guess I haven't paid too much attention to it. Work keeps me extremely busy". 

"Yes, that's true. Maybe Matako could cut it for you, although I suppose such a task would just shake her up, if it meant she was cutting your hair". 

"Hmhm, yes, that would be the case. I'll find time to get it cut, but it will just have to stay like this for now". 

"I don't really mind myself. It suits you, keeping it just a little longer". 

"How sweet. But I need to cut it, otherwise it'll be a pain to keep". Takasugi muttered as he rubbed one of the end strands between his fingers. 

Bansai looked over at the digital clock by the bed. It would be noon in two hours, even if the sun was already up. Time to get up, unfortunately. 

"I think I'll take a bath. I'm dying for one". Takasugi muttered, groaning a little in pain. 

"I'll run it for you, since you seem to be having a hard time handling the pain in your hips. We could even take it together, if you'd like". 

"That's fine, but don't try anything funny". 

"Of course not. Two adults can bathe together without doing anything "funny", as you say. I'm sure you understand that, Shinsuke, being older than me". 

"You've got quite a mouth on you, don't you? But you're right, anyway". 

"Then I'll get it started. Stay put, okay?" 

Bansai was the first to get up. Lucky for him, he still had some article of clothes on before he went to sleep the previous night. As he could recall, Takasugi went to bed with nothing. It was a surprise he didn't catch a cold. However, it was a warm morning. No real risk of catching one, then. He sat up as quickly as he could manage once Bansai entered the bathroom. Takasugi groaned in pain, his hips aching right down to the bone. He let out a sigh as it gradually faded, gripping the sheets and holding them close to cover up. The sound of running water emitted from the bathroom, a light fog soon covered the mirrors on the wall. Quite a start to the morning. But how the rest of the day would go...how the evening would turn out...Takasugi grew a little anxious thinking about it, but immediately pushed those ridiculous thoughts away. There was no need to be anxious. He was nominated for the Naoki prize. It was to be awarded that night, and would determine this score between Gintoki and himself. It was only a matter of time, a matter of hours, in fact. Not long...Not too long at all. 

... 

Gintoki entered the offices, stealthily checking around every corner. He just had to hand in his work, and then he could leave. It was a tough ordeal, dodging people like Tama or Zura from giving him the same unneeded praise as they did the year before. He especially wanted to stay clear of the old hag, seeing as she would drone on about the importance of this nomination and the ceremony to come-whether he won or not. Considering the work he was nominated for, this was probably gonna be a bombardment of "congratulations" and "you really deserve it". Oh, how the dread filled his mind as well as the desire to escape from it. People really considered the book to be a big enough deal that he was nominated for a really highly ranked award. He didn't think it was that special-not the award or the particular work nominated. But people go nuts for this stuff, especially in publishing. It gives them a good reputation, knowing that one of their best authors are still being nominated or even winning awards. Gintoki headed through the main hallway, looking around in case any of his usual colleagues were around. Just to be safe, he directed himself towards the stairs. Right before he stop dead at the foot of the building's long staircase that went through each and every floor. Gintoki stared up at the steps, then looked over at the elevator. As if beckoning him, the doors opened and several people walked out with smiles as they shared conversations. They weren't worn out by the burden of the stairs. The doors remained open, the light inside pulling in lazy bums like him. It was empty, too. Empty and waiting for him. 

"Fuck it. It's a pain in the ass using the stairs, even if I am trying to avoid the old hag". 

Adjusting his bag on his shoulder, Gintoki headed straight for the elevator before anyone else had a chance to get on. Not that anyone was coming towards the elevator, but still...He pushed the button and headed to his floor swiftly. He was definitely too lazy to take the stairs. Too much of a pain on an old man like him. The most energy he had was for... 

("Haa, haah...Gintoki...") 

Wait, wait wait wait! Why the hell was he thinking about that?! And now?! Gintoki ruffled his hair in an attempt to banish those thoughts from his head. It was just one time! Why the hell would he be so flustered about it already?! It...It had been a week since they last saw eachother, and they had only slept together once...He couldn't quite understand why these thoughts came rushing back now, why he was thinking about Hijikata in that way rather than, well, any other way. Picturing it was a little odd, but it left this subtle, nice feeling in the back of Gintoki's mind. It wasn't a bad thing to see that kind of expression on Hijikata's face. Right after that thought passed by in Gintoki's mind, the elevator doors opened. He didn't even notice that it had stopped, and at his floor. Hesitant, he exited and took a quick look around. No one was there, it seemed. Not in the office, anyway. Gintoki checked his watch. He was early, because Kagura got him up early. At least he could avoid the ruckus. He casually headed towards Otose's office. The silence, however, was too good to be true. As Gintoki very quickly, and suddenly, found out. 

"Paako~!" 

Gintoki got more than a fright when he heard that familiar, deep, monotone voice behind him. A suffocating sensation overcame him as he was crushed, raised from the ground. He struggled to breath. An intruder? A monster? No, both, in Gintoki's eyes at least. 

"There you are~. We really missed you". 

"A-ack! Can't...breathe! G-Granny! Granny help!" 

"Why are you yelling, Paako? You're so rude. Greet Mama properly". 

Another monotone voice. There were more?! The thick smell of perfume and old lady filled the area around Gintoki like a poisonous gas. 

"It's okay, she's just surprised". Yes...It was...They were... 

"Who the hell are you calling a "she" you damn okama! Granny, help! Help~!" 

"Oh, stop your whining. They won't do anything". Then, amidst the crowd of...weirdos, came Otose's voice. "Come on, Tokumori, put him down". 

Gintoki was released, gasping for breath. He turned around to see the person who almost crushed him to death. By the names "Mama" and "Tokumori", it was clear right away who Gintoki was faced with. Saigou Tokumori, the owner of the okama club within the night districts. And someone Gintoki hoped never to run into again. A few others had followed Tokumori into the office. But why? 

"We really missed you, Paako. It's been so long since we've seen you at the club, right, Mama?" 

"Don't say it as if I wanted to go there! It was a job! For money! You think I like wearing women's clothing?!" Gintoki cried in protest, thinking that he had banished such traumatising memories forever. 

"You seemed to enjoy it more than you think". 

"Shut it, Agomi!" 

"It's Azumi! Azumi! Don't make fun of my chin! You should treat a lady with respect!" 

"I don't see a lady anywhere, you, Granny?" 

"Nope. Just a freakshow. You included, Gintoki". 

"Ah?! You're the reason I took the job in the first place! Don't lump me together with them!"

"I didn't say you had to take the job, I just gave you an option since I owed Saigou a favour". Granny spoke casually as she smoked her cigarette, not treating Gintoki's scarring as a big issue. 

"Don't treat me like a favour! I'm not some slave to these weirdos!" 

"Nobody said that". 

"Well, no, but-...Why are you measuring me?!" Gintoki looked over his shoulder when he heard the rattling of a metal tape ruler. He saw one of the drags measure his back and rear. 

"Whoops. Sorry, Paako. I was just checking to make sure, just in case you come back for more work. Good thing you're still as slim and lovely as ever". 

"Ugh! Screw off! I will never work there again-I don't need to! I can pay my own rent from now on!" 

"I beg to differ". Otose muttered, taking another drag after her snide remark. 

"Any-way, what the hell are you nut-jobs doing here? No sane person here is interested in your patronage, so...". 

"We actually came here to congratulate you, of course". That comment surprised Gintoki, but then he immediatly felt no surprise towards it as he grumbled. Of course they were there for that. "You've come quite far since you worked at our club. You've shone brighter than most people do in a lifetime with your books". 

"Hey, I don't need the encouraging speech. I've already won a few awards of different calibre for my books and work, and I don't even care about the awards". 

"But, Paako, no matter how many times you've won or lost, it doesn't matter. Every achievement counts in life, no matter how big or small. It's the same as when people like us discover who they really are on both the inside and on the outside. They accept and embrace it-an achievement gained by showing the world that anything is possible". 

"I don't think winning a literacy award is the same as switching to the worst playing teams, but...sure, I guess. But, in life, achievements shouldn't be gained in physical form. They should be within mind and soul, knowing that you earned what you earned through hard work and a passion for what you do. Me, I wrote books that seem to be read by hundreds of people in Japan, maybe even outside of this country. Knowing that, isn't it enough? I don't see why it should be materialistic, presented through a "thing", an object. Materialism rots the mind as it spoils, being praised for such a thing encourages the decay. I would rather go empty handed with a clear mind rather than secome to being praised by a thing and have a rotten one. That's all there is to it". 

Gintoki didn't really care much for materialistic things. At least, not anymore. The only physical objects he treasured were his books and his limited edition Ketsuno Ana figure. Money used to be a huge issue in his life, for many, many years until he became an author. Now it isn't something to worry about. Putting that aside, Gintoki didn't care much for the awards either. For the Naoki award, you would win a couple million yen and a priceless pocket watch. Those things weren't worth treasuring, in Gintoki's eyes. If he was still poor, struggling to survive, something like that would be worth selling. Knowing him, he'd be more likely to gamble it away and then lose it without gaining anything else. Those days seemed so distant. There was the occassional visit to the pachinko parlor if there was no work and only spare time. But those visits seemed so rare now. All that was left was the memory, the vivid memory of the strong smell of cigarettes and the sounds coming from the machines. So vivid, yet so far away. He missed pachinko, even just a little bit.

Gintoki realised his mind had wandered, the silence of the room ironically snapping him back into focus of the situation. That and a pair of large hands gripping his shoulders. Saigou smiled at Gintoki, although it wasn't exactly a pretty sight. 

"You are right about that, Paako. But, just remember, even if the award itself doesn't matter, don't take the support you receive for granted. There are many people, I know, who support anything you do, and will praise you when you succeed. It's not a bad thing. Now, because of your nomination, we'll treat you to drinks sometime at the club". 

"No thanks. I think I'd rather go to a gay strip club on my birthday than go to an okama club ever again". 

"Awh, don't be shy~. We'll make a nice dress for you". 

"God, you guys are persistent...Fine, I'll think about hanging out in a bar with a bunch of weird old men...and old men". 

"Paako, you really have no manners! That's not how you should speak to a lady, right, Mama?!" 

"It's alright, Azumi. I'm sure one day he'll even meet a strapping young man and he'll understand how it feels. After all, Paako is a cutie". 

"What the hell are you talking about? I'm straight. As if I'd ever meet a-...". 

Gintoki stopped himself right then and there. He had already met a guy...a long time ago. Hijikata...A guy, who he was seeing, and had sex with a week ago. Did that now make Gintoki...a weirdo, too? 

"Paako, are you alright? You look pale". 

"Uh!...It's nothing-nothing at all! I was just gonna say that I'm straighter than straight. I'm not...like that...at all. Of course I'm not! I like women and...women...Um, anyway, here, Granny. I got my work finished so, er, I'll be going". 

Gintoki took out his manuscript, handing it over to Otose, who was staring at him with a puzzled expression, as was everyone else. 

Gintoki backed away towards the elevator. He repeatedly pressed the button to call the elevator, impatiently. Soon the doors opened and Gintoki slipped past the doors as quickly as he could. Once inside he couldn't have tapped the button to go down quick enough, several desperate times to make his escape from their stares. The silence was awkward, so Gintoki gave one last "See ya" to everyone. The doors eventually closed, silence filling the office. Otose took one last drag of her cigarette, puffing out smoke and narrowing her eyes at the elevator doors. 

("He's screwing another guy, isn't he?") She thought to herself, almost snickering at such a thought. 

It was crude, but the situation was too suspicious. Of course, she had her doubts but something was certainly going on in that natural perm-heads brain that anyone would find confusing. He was an odd-ball, she knew this first hand. But for him to be attracted to or even involved with another guy? Unimaginable. In Otose's eyes, Gintoki was as straight as you could get. For him to be involved with anyone in the first place was, in fact, the strangest thought that circled Otose's mind. Knowing him for as long as she did, ever since they first met, he always seemed like more of a loner, prefering to distance himself from those who were kind to him unless he paid the favour back. Looking back on it, in rememberance of the snow and the cold, the look on that man's face, he never expected to be brought into such a warm place...and learn to wipe that expression away, replacing it with a goofy grin. It never left Otose's thoughts when certain situations arose, like now. Just what was Gintoki thinking about, though? That was the real question. 

...

Breathless, gone nearly three hours without a cigarette, already feeling a cold sweat as Hijikata's legs carried him as fast as he could towards the perpetrator. Some guy decided to rob a store in the middle of the day after countless other acts of robbery during the evenings. Bastard must've gotten too cocky or even desperate. After catching him red-handed, he ran off in any old direction. So far, other officers had tried to find another way around or follow their vice chief. But, so far, Hijikata was the only one on his tail. 

"Stop right there! God, he's persistent...". 

The thief soon swiftly turned yet another corner, dashing behind the wall of a building. A grin came over Hijikata's lips. Knowing this part of town as well as he did, the only place that corner led to was nothing more than a dead end, as the thief found out quickly. Hijikata turned the corner, slowing down once the guy was in his sights. And, of course, he faced a dead end, his eyes most likely shifting back and forth to try and find a way to climb over that eight foot wall. There was no way he could. It was over. 

"End of the line. Now, I want you to put your hands on your head and slowly turn around. No funny business. And don't even think about going up against me. You'd soon learn the consequences of that, now, wouldn't you?" 

Hijikata brought out a pair of hadcuffs from his uniform's belt as he approuched the criminal closer. He had complied, placing both hands on his head before slowly turning around to face Hijikata. 

"You're smarter than you seem, I suppose. You're lucky". 

Hijikata got behind the thief, grabbing his wrists one at a time to put each into the cuffs. They clicked shut. 

"You have the right to remain silent. Although anything you say now may be used against you in a court of law". Hijikata, once placing the man in cuffs, took out his walkie-talkie. "Sougo, I've got him. Tell Arishima to bring the car down to...block 4 of the Ginza district. I'm in an alleyway near a few of the restaurants. Do you copy that?...Sougo?" 

["Hmmn? Oh, yeah, sure. But can't you do it? I'm kinda busy"]. 

Hijikata quickly became irritated. 

"Sougo, I have the perpetrator here and I'm gonna need you to do your job. Your radio's linked with Arishima's, and he's got the car on patrol. Get him over here, now". 

["Fine, fine~. Yo, Arishima, were did you park the car?"] 

"He's not even in the car?! Did you two just give up on catching this guy or what?!" 

["Hijikata, relax. It's our lunch break already. Get off our backs. Ah, Ma'am, can I have another side of Nigiri? Thanks"] 

"Don't just order more sushi! Get someone over here so we can take this guy to the station!" 

["Arishima, can you go? Hijikata's whining about some guy that we were apparently going after for robbing a store. I knew nothing about it, so..."]. 

Hijikata just grew more frustrated. He wasn't very specific about what the guy did, but Sougo knew what they were suppose to be doing. Trying to play dumb to get out of work...Hijikata tried to keep his cool. Letting his guard down at the moment wasn't a good idea. He couldn't make that mistake. 

"Sougo, I will only say this...You are on thin ice right now. If you don't...". Hijikata paused, seeing a patrol car pull up next to the alleyway. "Haa, nevermind. One of the guy's came here. Must have spotted us run in here. No thanks to you, Sougo". 

["What are you talking about, Hijikata-san? I sent Arishima, didn't I?"] 

"Eh...?"

As Hijikata approuched the patrol car with the perpetrator at hand, the door opened on the drivers side, and out came Arishima. 

"That was really amazing, vice chief. Although I'm not surprised. I'll take this guy to the station now. Are you coming? Uh...Vice chief?" 

Hijikata stood frozen, confused for several short moments. That is until he looked across the street from the alleyway. There was...a sushi place right across from them. And from this sushi place, out came Sougo from the front entrance with his hands casually stuffed in his pants pockets. Hijikata could feel his frustration just collapse all in one go. He was quiet though, not saying a word. He felt that if he snapped then, he'd definitely lose his mind. Arishima, without receiving a response from his vice chief, took the thief into the car and got back into the driver's seat himself. All the while he was reminded of just how scary Hijikata could be when he was mad. The only two people who couldn't falter towards such a demonic aura was Kondo and Okita. Even Yamazaki, who was older than Hijikata, used to quake in fear, more than he does now, at least. 

Sougo approuched, bending down to the lowered car window. 

"You can just take this guy back to the station. We'll catch up later and have Hijikata-san question him". 

"Whatever you say, Okita-san. Just be careful". 

"No need for that, trust me". Okita patted the roof of the car, and off it when with a rumble of the engine and a squeak of the tires against concrete. 

Okita watched the car go, a casual smirk across his lips. Tired and irritated, Hijikata finally pulled out his cigarette box from his jacket pocket. He swiftly took one out, placed it between his lips and lit it. Relief was just seconds away. He leaned against the alley wall while the silence still hung in the air. He took a drag, holding it back for a few seconds before letting the dark cloud to escape and disperse. Relief...finally. Okita turned to Hijikata and, at the corner of his eye, Hijikata spotted the newspaper under Okita's arm. It wasn't the time to bring up now, as a very specific and serious topic came to mind. Now that Hijikata let go of some of his tension, he could speak as calmly as he could manage to his childish and sadistic underling. Putting those two words together to describe Sougo could one day lead to the end of the world for all Hijikata knew. He took another drag, shifting his gaze from Okita in thought. There was no use beating around the bush when it came to Okita. A kid like him shouldn't be taken lightly. If not for his position and the path he chose to walk down a long time ago, it would be likely he would be in a shithole like juvy or worse at his age. That's why Hijikata chose to guide him as much as he could. So snapping at him wasn't the best option. Better to be calm and collected, but be stern and serious at the same time. To speak to Okita as an adult, but make him understand how chidish he could be sometimes. 

"Sougo, we need to have a serious talk. Right now". 

"Ehh? What's this all of a sudden? Aren't you supposed to yell at me? Tell me off? Gimme a time out and place me in the naughty corner?" 

"Knock it off. You're the one who always complains about being treated like a brat. So, I'm speaking to you like an adult should be spoken to. Especially one that slacks off and doesn't take work seriously. Just because you're attending an apprenticeship with us doesn't mean you can just get off the hook with everything. You're here to learn and find a proper place with us. Kondo-san believes you could make a fine squad captain someday-but, frankly, I feel differently. That is if you keep this shit up". 

Okita rolled his eyes, much to Hijikata's vexation. It concerned his greatly that Okita would still act like some spoiled teenager instead of a man. This, in addition, caused a decent amount of annoyance to float needlessly around in his mind.

"Don't just roll your eyes and shrug this off. If you don't get your act together, there'll be consequences to your apprenticeship and maybe even your future". 

"Tch, ya know, it almost does sound like you're looking out for me. Well, guess what? I don't believe it for a second. The only reason you're trying so hard is because-". 

Hijikata clicked his fingers sharply, pointing his finger at Okita as a cue to stop him from saying anymore. 

"Don't. Bring it. Up. We're not discussing that, of all things". 

"Why not? Hijikata, if I can talk about it, then so can you". 

"I could, but I won't-and neither will you. Now, that's enough. Let's head back to the station. While we head there you can think about what I said. I mean it". 

"Haa...Whatever you say, "boss". Tch...". 

Hijikata continued to smoke, each drag filling the inevitable silence between him and Okita. Things were still very complicated between them, even after so much. It was stressful. This big gaping whole centered right into Hijikata's conscience wouldn't be filled unless it was clear to both him and Okita that they were on good terms, that Hijikata was looking out for him in any way he could. So far, especially at Okita's age, that was proving to be a huge challenge. Okita wasn't exactly a teenager anymore. He was becoming a man, but that was still taking its time to sink in it seemed. 

"Hey, Hijikata-san, did ya hear?" Hijikata was more than surprised to hear Okita start up a conversation. But he was starting to sound like his usual self quicker than expected, but that wasn't always a good thing. "I read in the paper that they're awarding the Naoki Literacy prize tonight. Apparently Danna was nominated". 

Hijikata's thoughts drew a blank, frozen as he tried to process that information. He never knew... 

"You didn't know, huh?" Okita asked, a smirk on his face. 

"H-how should I know? Not like I care about that sugar freak's affairs". That was a lie, probably one of the worst Hijikata had ever come up with on the spot. 

It wasn't in his best interest to care about such things, however...due to recent events, Hijikata found himself feeling almost guilty for not knowing about Gintoki's award. In his defense, knowing that they both have a bad habit of thinking alike, Gintoki didn't seem to be the type to care much for physical objects like an award. Besides, it wasn't his first time. Hijikata knew that much, since Gintoki was one of his favourite authors-there was no denying that anymore, at least not to Gintoki. They had not seen eachother in a week. Hijikata didn't have a lot of time to contact him or go to his place. He barely visited his own apartment all week. The last time they saw eachother was the morning after they first...were together, in "that" sense. It was still unusual to think about-just a little bit. After all, it felt like a first time for them both. Hijikata had never felt that kind of pleasure before. He could still vaguely remember the feelings he received over and over at such a fast pace. He was going off topic in his head, which was quite embarrassing considering who he was standing next to. 

"It's okay, Hijikata-san~. If there's something you're not telling me, I'd be glad to listen". 

"No thanks. There's nothing. Nothing at all". 

Okita sighed. An early time to give up, even for him. It was none of his business, anyway. Hijikata just pretended that there was no business between him and Gintoki in the first place. Despite work, Gintoki and the night they shared had been on Hijikata's mind. Although he was pretty shy when thinking about it, the memories would soon flood back in waves. What they had done, what they felt, those expressions on Gintoki's face...The mental images continued to circle through restless nights and even daydreams. Work kept him occupied from those thoughts. But now that Okita had brought Gintoki up, Hijikata wondered whether it would be a good time to contact him. He had free time that evening, as his shift was ending earlier than it had been these past few days. There was no harm in it, especially since he would have the time to do it now. Amd with that free time, they could even see eachother again. They were techinqually seeing eachother-dating, even. If he was nominated for an award, perhaps it wouldn't be too much to get him something. But then Hijikata felt a bit silly for having such a thought enter his mind. Why would a man get another man a gift to congratulate him on anything? Those were Hijikata's original thoughts-if but for a second or two. 

As an author, Gintoki would surely get all sorts of praise. And, knowing him, it would be tiresome. Hijikata sighed deeply, a thick cloud of smoke dispersing past his lips. There was no use worrying about it anyway. As adults, creating pointless drama was...well, exactly that. Pointless. Seven days was nothing compared to the amount of time that they used to spend trying to avoid eachother, combined. All Hijikata had to do was give Gintoki a call while on his break, give a brief apology for not getting in contact sooner and perhaps arranging to meet him. Thinking of it that way seemed so easy. The only thing was that Hijikata did discover recently that he liked Gintoki more than he used to, definitely. It's not as if they now got on like a house on fire. Their relationship was just a little better, and in that relationship they could at least act like adults once in a while. This was one of those times. Despite Hijikata's, and even Gintoki's, lack of experience in relationships, that didn't mean they couldn't act like they normally would, in a more civilised fashion. And despite feeling a little bashful and shy about recents "events", Hijikata felt like he could definitely reach a point where he wasn't so anxious to take a chance on these feelings that stirred within. Even if this was just a feeling of "liking" Gintoki. Of wanting to get closer to him in more ways than one. No use worrying about anything, because they were both fully grown adults who could talk normally. Even just that...the smallest development felt like a huhe goal reached on Hijikata's part. A little anxiety, a little caution, but absolutely no fear in finding pleasure in this new relationship, whatever it was, really. 

... 

A deep sigh entered Gintoki's apartment, just through the crack of the door as it opened. Kagura had returned from school already, tired and still hungry. The bento box she made that morning still wasn't enough. Shutting the door, Kagura swiftly slipped off her shoes and dumped her bag on the floor before heading further inside. Gintoki, being the fantastic role model that he was, simply continued to occupy his thoughts with Jump and ridding himself of the irritation within his nose using his pinky finger. He paid very little attention to Kagura's disregard for cleanliness as she had randomly dumped her bag in any old place, to be forgotten about within the next five minutes or so as she, too, occupied her thoughts with an early dinner. In other words, leftover rice balls and a carton of orange juice from the fridge. She wouldn't dare go near Gintoki's strawberry milk "display", knowing perfectly well he would probably curl up into a ball and whine. Okay, that was an exagerration. He would just yell and demand that she go to the store and buy a new carton of the stuff using her allowance, as punishment. A light punishment, but not to Gintoki. Stawberry milk was serious business to him. Not like she wanted any in the first place. 

Opening up the fridge, she took out said items: rice balls and orange juice carton, and set them out on the kitchen counter. Gintoki had taught her how to reheat rice balls and dumplings if the time ever called for it. She could vividly remember what he said; "Reheating food is like taking a test twice; you have the option to do it again or just give up and throw the thing out because the result won't be as good as when you started. In my opinion, frozen rice balls suck so I'd just give in right away. You, though...You have no choice 'cause you're not good at anything else". 

At some point she couldn't tell whether he was talking about the rice balls or the test anymore. It just kept switching, for some reason. Damn Gintoki and his weird life philosiphies. Now, at what temperature did the rice balls have to be reheated at? 

"Gin-chan~, what temperature did the rice balls have to be reheated at? I forget". 

"It takes thirty to fourty minutes, at least". 

Just from such a lazy and casual tone, he sounded like an expert when it came to reheating food, like he had taught numerous people how to stick frozen rice balls in an oven for half an hour. 

"Kay'~Thanks, Gin-chan". 

"Anytime...". Yes...so helpful. 

Just as Kagura began her search for an oven tray, an obnoxious and surprising ringing emitted from Gintoki's desk at the far end of the apartment's main room. It rang for about twenty seconds with no reaction from either of them before Gintoki soon got up with a sigh. But, it was not to answer the phone, still ringing loud and clear. 

"Weelp, I'm gonna take a tinkle. Get that, will ya, Kagura?" 

"Ohh, I see how it is! You're too lazy to get the phone, but you have enough energy to go to the bathroom for the eightieth time?! Huh, old man?!" 

"Can't hear you. This "old man" must be goin' deaf. Is the phone even ringing?" 

"You're such a turd! But, fine! Kagura-chan will answer the phone, aru. Because, you know why? She isn't as lazy as a certain natural permed old geezer! Humph!" 

Kagura stormed towards the phone as it continued to ring. By the time she picked up, Gintoki had hurried into his bedroom, and into the bathroom beside it to get away from the so-called "responsibility" of answering the phone instead of leaving Kagura to do it. But, well, look how that turned out. 

"Hello? If it's for that lazy bum, he's gone to empty out his pee-bag again 'cause he's too old and lazy to go like a normal person". 

["Uh, excuse me? China Girl, is that you?"] Kagura was baffled by the voice who spoke over the line. 

"Mayora...?" 

["Uh...yeah, yeah, it's me. Um...What did you just say about Gintoki?"] 

A smirk curved onto Kagura's lips. A deviant smirk. Although no one could see her, she cleared her throat and composed herself in both behaviour and expression. Knowing what she knew, she thought that it could be fun to tease the Mayora a little.

"Nothing~, Hijiakta-san. So, you wanna talk to your boyfriend, aru?" 

["...!"] She could practically hear the embarrassment in his voice. ["Wh-who taught you that word? And why-"] 

"Nevermind, nevermind. If you wanna talk to Gin-chan, he's busy. Or do you want me to get him for you, anyway?" 

["W-well, will it take long? I really need to speak to him"] 

"Hoho, okey-dokey. It probably won't take too long, especially if it's his beloved Mayora calling". 

["Oi, will you knock it off? You're embarrassing yourself, seriously"]. 

"Ehh? I thought you two were su~per lovey-dovey. I'm sure you and Gin-chan have played plenty of kissing games already".

["Wha-do you even know what those are?!"] 

"Nope, I don't really know what they involve except for kissing. A few people at school talk about them and don't let me in because-ah-none of your business! Stupid Mayora!" 

Of course she wouldn't admit that she doesn't like going to her friend's house or birthday parties and that she'd never been kissed before. She wouldn't admit it, anyway, but Hijiakta was an experienced adult so it was embarrassing. At least, Kagura assumed he was since he was with Gintoki. Somehow thinking about Gintoki being in that kind of relationship with Hijikata, or any guy for that matter, gave her goosebumps. She honestly wasn't disgusted by it, it was just weird considering how excited he would get when Ketsuno Ana's weather report came on or how he'd glance over at lovely-looking women when in public. The point was, despite the teasing, Kagura was still trying to wrap her head around the idea that Gintoki was actually dating another man. 

["Geez, no need to get so aggressive. Sometimes I can't tell whether I'm hearing you or Sougo whenever I speak to you, and speaking to you is rare for me"]. 

"Don't lump me together with that sadist! Anyway, I was only teasing. But I still bet you two are all over eachother like; "Oh, I wuuv you, Mayora-chan" and "I wuuv you too, Gin-chan, aru". Right?" 

["Don't just add your mannerisms in there! And we're not...we're not like that"]. Hijikata whispered that into the line. Other people may have been around him. ["Clearly you don't know what an adult relationship is like for you to say shit like that so casually"]. 

"I could, for all you know! I could be an expert on that gross stuff! Tch, stupid Mayora doesn't know anything". Kagura mumbled the last line, holding the phone slightly away from her ear. Hijikata rolled his eyes. He could still hear it. She wasn't convincing anyone. 

["Right~. As I was saying, it's more complicated than that. I won't go into details since you are still a brat, but just know that things aren't exactly like that"]. 

"How so? Don't you like eachother?" 

["Well-Gah-...haah...I can't believe I'm discussing this with you. Is Gintoki there or what?"]. 

"Impatient, are we? Well, if you care so much for Gin-chan, you should follow certain rules: Fight for him, take a hit for him, wait for him. That's my advice, mmhm". 

"You watch too much anime, it seems". 

"Oiiii! I'm trying to help out with you homos! Either take my advise or break up with him, that's it!" 

["Does the choice really have to go one way or the other?! That's a bit steep, isn't it?! Haa...Look, I'm not discussing this with you. I want to discuss it with him"]. 

"What even happened, anyway? You can talk to me, I'm trustworthy". 

["Haah...Whatever. Guess it couldn't hurt. It wasn't anything bad, we just haven't seen eachother for a week and I haven't been able to get in contact until now"]. 

"Ah, okay. So I should probably insist that he comes to the phone, then, huh?" 

["Probably..."]. 

"Sure thing, but...I don't think Gin-chan would be mad about that or anything. He's been kinda busy too, so I wouldn't worry too much". 

["Hm, sounds like you're being really supportive all of a sudden"]. 

"Yeah, well...I support Gin-chan, anyway. And I know you're not a bad influence on him, except for your dirty smoking habit. If you wanna see Gin-chan, then do it and don't hold anything back. You can apologise over the phone, talk and arrange to meet him. If you say sorry for not contacting him earlier, you can have spare room for all the lovey-dovey stuff later, right~?" 

["Uh, that was kinda the plan-not in those exact words, but basically, yeah. Thanks anyway, China Girl. I appreciate the support, really"]. 

"No problemo. Now, hold on just a sec', Hijikata-san". Kagura held the phone away from her ear once more, taking a deep breath before beckoning Gintoki. "Haaaah...GIN-CHAN, IT'S YOUR BOYFRIEND ON THE LINE!" 

From the other end of the call, Hijikata hid away his red stained cheeks behind his hand. That girl had just as much shame as Gintoki did-which was next to none. In the apartment, Gintoki exited his bedroom, almost in a rush as he bolted down the small flight of steps and skidded across the hardwood floors in his socks as he reached out for the phone. His movements to answer the phone were more eager than before, but his behaviour otherwise was not so eager. 

"Scamper, go reheat your rice balls. And don't listen in, got it?" 

"Yeah, yeah...". 

"Don't gimme that attitude, young lady. But thanks anyway, Kagura. Appreciate it". 

"I know. I'm so helpful, aren't I, Gin-chan? I'm sure your boyfriend would agree too". 

"Ah-he's...He's not my...boyfriend. Now, scat". 

Gintoki shook his head to himself after shooing Kagura away. Taking a breath, he held the phone to his ear and leaned his rear against the desk. 

["Uh, hey..."]. Even just a casual introduction and Gintoki's heart skipped a beat upon hearing Hijikata's voice. It felt like it had been so long since they last spoke. 

"Hey...Uh, been a while, huh?" 

["Feels like it, certainly"]. This was a little awkward. It was almost as if the ordinary activity between them wasn't so ordinary anymore. It was almost replaced with...this, right after they had sex a week ago. But this was just their first conversation since that morning after. It's not like they would pull that "I missed you" crap out of their asses and make the sitaution more awkward. It wasn't worth it. ["How've you been? Good?"] Hijikata asked. Good. Start off casually and work your way through. 

"Yeah, I'm good. Work's been pretty busy, although I'm sure it's the same on your end, Mr Policeman". 

["You could say that. Sorry I haven't been able to get in contact with you this past week. Like you mentioned, work's been piling up"]. 

"Nah, don't worry about it. Your job is your job. Besides, we're talking now, aren't we?" 

["Yeah, finally"]. 

Although they couldn't see the other person, the two shared a smile that didn't present any sign that they were too happy to speak to eachother. It was still Gintoki and Hijikata, after all. 

["Hey, Gintoki, I was wondering...Is it okay if I come by tonight? I'll still be at work until nine, but maybe we could drink and just talk about...you know, stuff"]. 

"Yeah, stuff sounds good. Been a while since we've talked about "stuff", am I right?" 

["Shut up, I don't know what to say, really"]. 

"Still shaken up about the other night? Wouldn't be surprised, ya know. It was pretty shaky, for you, at least". 

["Oh, please. You're one to talk, staring at me like you had no idea what you were doing"]. 

"I'm not gonna lie, I wasn't really sure at first. But then I remembered who I was doing and it was alright". 

["God, you're the worst"]. Despite saying that, Hijikata smiled just the tiniest bit. 

"You're smiling, though, right? I can tell just from the sound of your voice. It's pretty cute, actually". 

["Since when did you start flirting with me? It's weird. Cut it out"] 

"I'm-I'm not...flirting. Pssh, what gave you that idea? You're weird, Hijikata". 

"You guys are sooo flirting, you're both weird". Kagura decided to butt in at that point, much to Gintoki's disapproval. 

"Anyway, yeah, we could see eachother tonight. I've gotta...thing to go to at seven, but I should be back by nine. Then we can move onto the...stuff". 

["Pervert..."]. 

"Why are you callin' me that? I ain't a pervert. You're the pervert if ya think I meant "that kinda stuff". No way. I am a gentleman and...Ah, it's you so you don't believe that, huh?" 

["Nope. Gentlemen my ass"]. 

"See you tonight, too, Mr Policeman". 

"Yeah...See you tonight, I guess". 

After a moment's pause, they each hung up. Hesitating just a little, Gintoki soon put the phone down and sighed heavily in relief. They were going to see eachother and just talk. Good plan. A good start, at least. They were both adults, two guys who knew eachother reasonably well and could talk to eachother normally. They were also kind of dating, had kissed and had sex before. It was only once, but that left plenty of room to explore and maybe even do it again. There were no complaints about doing it again, sometime. Gintoki was eager, to say the least. The thought of doing it with Hijikata again was an exciting thought, but he knew he wanted to do it better than last time. He could definitely be more confident. The only problem was, was tonight a good time to jump into that sort of thing now? It had been a week, and Gintoki was eager, but there was no meaning behind it if Hijikata was even a little hesitant. He could have been worn out from work or perhaps didn't want to feel the same pain as last time. It made Gintoki hesitate as well, just thinking about it. He would most likely be tired as well, especially after the night soon to come. Maybe talking and drinking was all for now and they could explore their options and their sexual activity another time. As far as Gintoki was concerned, deep, deep down, just seeing Hijikata for a little while would relieve the tension that was vastly approuching. Just for a little while. 

... 

During the afternoon at the publishing office, Matako was only just preparing to bring her stuff to her apartment before heading back for the little ceremony being held within the offices. She cracked her neck with a groan of discomfort. She had just spent about an hour carrying boxes of files from one empty room to the new filing cabinets in the office below. Nearly broke her back while doing work that wasn't originally in the job description. 

"Aagh, I ain't cut out for manual labour. Where the hell was Bansai when we needed him? Dumbass...What next, we ask Shinsuke-sama to lift boxes? If anyone tries to get him into that sorta work, I'll stack heavy boxes onto their freakin' backs until they break-see how it feels". 

Her gaze wandered to the copying room at the far end of the room. She flinched a little, her immediatly darting back towards the copiers when she spotted two familiar figures inside the seperate room. Bansai and Takasugi. It wasn't unusual to see them both together inside or outside the workplace. However, the scene before Matako made her rather curious. It looked a little different from usual. Bansai appeared to be copying papers in stacks while Takasugi sat back, leaning his rear on one of the spare desks as they spoke. Of course, the conversation was unreadable so Matako couldn't figure out what either of them were saying. But, just by looking through the glass walls, she could tell something was a little different. A more casual and friendly aura drifted between them. She could even see a small smile across Takasugi's face. He looked so handsome when he smiled like that, and that was just a new discovery made by Matako. She had never witnessed such a gentle smile like that cross Takasugi's face. It wasn't of happiness or joy, but it presented a calm and gentle aura around her crush. Was Bansai the reason why he was smiling like that? Matako could only wonder as she stared for a few seconds more.

"Hey, Takechi-senpai...". Knowing that Takechi was just behind her as he exited his office, Matako got his attention with a question in mind. He seemed to know Takasugi and Bansai quite well, for a longer time than she had. "Have Bansai and Shinsuke-sama always been quite close?" 

Takechi followed Matako's gaze and understood where her question was coming from. 

"As far as I know, Kawakami-dono is the only person within our group that speaks quite casually towards Takasugi-dono. Yes, they have been close for a long time now, although I do not know the details of how they did form such a close relationship, or even how they became acwuainted to begin with. It is strange to see such an isolated person interact with anyone else. Though, I suppose they both share the exact same trait". 

An isolated person, huh? When thinking about it, both Bansai and Takasugi shared such a connection. But being solitary isn't something that usually brings people together, is it? It only makes sense that loners won't stick together with anyone, even other loners. That's the kind of air that they both gave off, but when together it looked so ordinary. 

"I wonder what they're talking about...". Matako muttered, curious. 

"It is not of our concern. That's just it". 

"...I suppose. But, do ya think that such intellectual people, two guys so isolated from others...can maybe bring about the big questions in life?" 

... 

Meanwhile, in the copier room... 

"Do your hips still hurt, Shinsuke?" 

Indeed big questions came about between them. Indeed... 

"No, not really. They still feel a little stiff, but it should be fine later. Although it's because you were being rough with me in the first place". 

"It was my first time, cut me some slack". 

"It was techniqally my first time as well. You think I'm somehow used to being done by other guys? I'm not a whore". 

"I never said you were. But if there were any other guys...". 

"There weren't. Don't take everything people say so seriously. As if I'd ever be attracted to men in general. I've only been attracted to women, though not a lot-I will admit. Decent people are hard to come by in my books". 

"People...?" 

"Well, yes. I would have said women, but you're in the picture now, so it's "people". A-and it's not like there are other "people"-just you, the only man and-agh, I sound like a fool. What the fuck am I trying to defend here? My pride? With you, that's long gone". 

"That isn't true. And you're only taking that tone because you're anxious about tonight, I daresay". 

"I am not anxious about tonight. If anything, I'm eager. All my hard work will finally settle this score I have with Gintoki, at least for now". Bansai had a habit of failing to pick up most conversations, but it was also a habit that, when it came to Takasugi, he was all ears. And hearing him ramble out of anxiety was what brought on a feeling of concern that Bansai wouldn't usually feel towards anyone else. "I swear if he one-ups me again...". 

"Shinsuke, you're quite competitive towards Sakata-san, aren't you?" It was a bold question that Bansai wasn't afraid to ask. And, surprisingly, in turn, Takasugi wasn't afraid to answer. It was Bansai, after all. 

"Hah...It's quite obvious, isn't it? You could say that, I suppose. Call it whatever you'd like, in fact". 

"Sounds like it's been going on for a while. I won't pry too much, though. It's you're business, after all. But I will say this, don't you think a quarrel that's been going on for god-knows how long has to end at some point? I mean...". 

("I'm not into materialistic stuff like that when it involves writing books. It's just something I do, like a freedom") 

Those words...Those words flashed back in Bansai's mind, as well as the nonchalant expression on Gintoki's face that day. He remembered, and he pondered, silently within his moments pause. Takasugi said that he put all his hard work into winning this award. His novels, in other words. But that day Bansai and Gintoki first interacted, Gintoki made it clear that he wasn't interested in physical achievements. Not the money, not the recognition, and perhaps he didn't care much for the award. Thinking that, Bansai couldn't help but wonder what Takasugi was fighting for if his opponent didn't care enough to fight back. Why work so hard? Bansai looked over his shoulder, the question revolving around in his mind. Takasugi wasn't looking back at Bansai. His head was lowered slightly, his stare blank as if in thought. Then Bansai realised it himself... 

Takasugi was aware. He knew of Gintoki's nonchalant attitude to such things as awards or money. He knew, yet he continued to persist and fight. For what, though? What was his goal? Why go so far? Why work himself to the bone? Takasugi wasn't one to care for money, recognition or award either. So why? Bansai didn't understand completely, but he knew not to ask questions. To spare Takasugi's feelings, of course. So there was only one thing Bansai could do by this point. At least, for now. After scouting over the offices through the glass walls, Bansai recognised the empty desks and the area in general. They appeared to be the only ones around. Bansai ignored the stacks of papers jutting out from the copier as he turned his attention to Takasugi, not uttering a word as he carefully approuched. It didn't take long for Takasugi to spot Bansai's movements at the corner of his eye, but this didn't cause Bansai to stop in his tracks. In fact, as soon as the gap between him and Takasugi was small enough, Bansai closed it. His arms gently wrapped around Takasugi, bringing him in closer to his chest. Even Takasugi was surprised by this, despite seeing Bansai approuch. The action was simply unlike him, supposedly. What was even more shocking was when Takasugi felt Bansai kiss the top of his head affectionately. 

"I daresay, I almost forgot to wish you luck, Shinsuke. So...good luck for tonight. I'm sure your hard work will pay off. I have no doubts about that". 

In fact, Bansai cast away all doubts about this situation that slowly approuched them. He wanted to support Takasugi in any way possible. As his colleague, his friend and as his lover. Takasugi cleared his throat, his face hidden but warm. 

"Ahem-...uh...I don't need luck you know, but thank you, Bansai. Um, and you're...squeezing my body very tightly again. It"s odd". 

"Again, it's just a hug, Shinsuke. I'm still hugging you. Do you not like it?" 

"Geez, don't ask such an embarrassing question. I'm on the spot here". 

"Excuse me...". 

They took a pause. An awkward pause where Bansai hugged Takasugi, but Takasugi didn't hug back. That was until he made an attempt. He rested his forehead against Bansai's shoulder, gripping his t-shirt securely around his fingers and they trembled slightly. He obviously still wasn't used to being held so affectionately. 

"And...I don't hate it-I'll just say that". He mumbled, trying to compose himself immediatly afterwards. 

Bansai's smirked against Takasugi's silky soft hair, kissing the top of his head once more. Thank god no one could see. That would be tough to explain to a co-worker, and even harder to explain to Matako if she ever walked in on them. But, luckily, they were left with just a few more moments alone together within this isolated room, not another word passed between them. That was fine. Once more they each found that no words were needed. This felt alright the way it was. 

...

Slipping on his shoes, Gintoki hesitated for a few seconds at the entranceway of the apartment. It was about time he left for the office. He hesitated, unsure of what to think. He forgot about this feeling at the back of his mind. He had spent all day calm and not worrying at all about the ceremony that he forgot about this particular feeling that came over him whenever he was nominated. It was indescribable. Perhaps an uneasy sensation lurking at the pit of his stomach, or maybe a heavy strain on his mind. It had come back. He stalled at the door, failing to notice the slight shuffling noises of a second pair of shoes being slipped on. Hearing it snapped Gintoki's thoughts back into the right place. He looked over his shoulder, seeing Kagura getting ready to leave herself. 

"Could ya not block the doorway, Gin-chan? Some of us have places to be". 

"Oi, I'm not that big. Just squeeze through, small fry". 

"Who the heck are you callin' a small fry? You pickin' a fight?" 

"No. Where are you headin', anyway? It's getting late". 

"Shin-chan and Boss Lady's place. They invited me over to stay for tonight". 

"Is that so? Well, I won't really question that, I suppose. I'll walk you there, if you'd like". Gintoki double checked the watch on his wrist. "Yeah, plenty of time". 

"You don't have to, Gin-chan. I'll manage". 

"Nah, nah, nah. Granny taught me that you should always offer to walk a young woman to her destination, unless you have bad intentions-in that case, go to hell". 

Gintoki had his own philosiphies, of course, but Granny had quite a few of her own as well. They were quite blunt, as far as Gintoki could remember. 

"Anyway...". He muttered, finally opening the door as the uneasy feeling subsided for now. He had a distaction to occupy his mind until the time came. "I'll walk you to Shinpachi's. Just to make sure you're safe". 

"Ehh~? You're weird, Gin-chan. Trying to get outta watching the ceremony?" 

"Nope. There's no avoiding it, whether I watch it or not. Now, come on. We don't have all night". 

Kagura exited the apartment first of all before Gintoki turned off the main light switch, plunging the whole place into darkness. He also left the apartment, locking the door behind him. Once he did, he took a brief moment to look to Hijikata's door. In the slience of the hallway, he couldn't hear a single stir within. He must have still been at work, tiring himself out. Gintoki played with the keys in his hand, thinking about it. 

"Geez, and you tell me we haven't got all night. Come on~, Gin-chan~". 

"R-right. Coming, Kagura. Hold your freakin' horses". 

Gintoki followed Kagura down the stairs, expecting to see her stare daggers at him for lingering in front of the Mayora's door. She didn't, oddly enough. That phone call from earlier must have brought out the fujoshi within, although not as crazy and hyper. Kids these days... 

"I wouldn't worry, Gin-chan. He's coming to see you tonight, isn't he?" 

"Psh, me, worrying, about that guy? You're outta your mind. I know he's a big boy who can manage just fine. I'm not worrying". 

"Whatever you say. But you miss him, right?" 

"Psh, me, missing, that guy? Now you're really outta your mind. I know that I'm a big boy who can manage just fine. I'm not missing him...a lot". 

"Hm...Yuh-huh. I thought you liked him, Gin-chan. What's the big idea?" 

"Psh, me, like, that guy? Totally outta your mind. We're both big boys who can manage just fine. I would never like him...if he didn't like me back". 

"Oi, now you're just repeating yourself, and it sounds a lot less convincing than the first two times, ya moron" 

"Haah, look, Kagura, what me and the Mayora have is...complicated, kinda. It's not like a teenage relationship where you both freak out at the smallest things. "Oh, how come you didn't answer my text message, it's been five seconds" and "why haven't we kissed yet? Don't you like me~?" It's not like that sappy, teen drama bullshit". 

"I would be offended, but you're accurate on some level, I guess". 

"It's only been a week since we last spoke, it's not a big deal. It just seems that way because we've only just started seeing eachother and, to be honest, Hijikata's not that confident about relationships". 

"Oi, don't you mean "we"? Isn't it "we're not that confident about relationships"? Gin-chan, are you listening?" 

"Anyway...". Gintoki continued, practically ignoring Kagura. "We handled it like adults. He apologised for not contacting me sooner because of work, and I understood. Problem solved. Neither of us need that kinda drama in ours lives. We're both grown men, which sounds weird considering our relationship, but the point is that we're not gonna take stuff like this too seriously. In other words, neither of us are gonna spout crap about worrying about or missing eachother when it's only been a week. I've never really been in one, but even I can see that adult relationships don't need that kinda drama". 

Gintoki did have a valid point. They weren't teens, although they had the dating experience of adolescent's. Even that much was obvious to Kagura. Even so, although this was totally new for them both, they weren't going to make a huge fuss about it anymore. The fuss of dating another guy for the first time was over. Now it seemed like they were just accepting it as time went on. How mature. Yeah, mature. One word Kagura thought she would never describe Gintoki as. 

"Yeah, you're right, Gin-chan. Never thought I'd ever say those words, but, ya know". To brush off her sincere tone and words, Kagura casually stuck her pinky finger into her nose. "Well, I'm sure you two lovebirds will have a great night tonight while I won't be there. Don't be doing anything R-rated now". 

"Sure, sure. Whatever you say, Kagura". 

It was nice to hear that Kagura actually had nothing against the relationship. She could be a good brat sometimes, if only she knew less than she actually did. R-rated? Where did she learn such things? School, most likely. Other than that, she was surprisingly supportive. After all, Gintoki did do his best to support her in any way he could. Even if sometimes he was too lazy to do the little things. Only when it truely mattered did Gintoki stick his neck out for Kagura. For instance, when she was forced to move back in. He made it sound like a total pain in the ass, but he would have welcomed her with open arms anyway. She appeared to be doing the same with Hijikata, in a way. That brought a smile to Gintoki's face as he continued to walk Kagura down the apartment steps. They were on even ground it seemed. Gintoki supported her, and she returned the support. They almost sounded like family...kind of, Shinpachi and Sadaharu included. A weird, disfunctional, but supportive family. Ah well. Gintoki had lost track a long time ago about how he ended up here. It didn't really matter. He wouldn't dream of being anywhere else but where he was now. Being with such a group of people, not just Shinpachi and Kagura, was a much better achievement in Gintoki's eyes than some award. That was obvious from the start. 

... 

Gintoki took several moments to stare up at the starless sky while the path in front of his remained empty and clear for him to walk without anyone bumping into him. He didn't usually head to the office this late, but circumstances called for it as the award ceremony was going to be aired that evening, live. Of course he wouldn't be attending, so, like every year thus far, he would join the publishing staff-or at least the few members that knew of his identity-in the main office on the usual floor to watch the events unfold. He didn't know what to expect. Takasugi was going to be there, keeping a far distance from Gintoki-not even making eye contact. At least until the results came through. It was the only part of this process that Gintoki held concern for. He didn't care about winning or losing. It was simply the look on Takasugi's face when the winner was either announced as him or Gintoki. No one else mattered to him, in terms of winning. If it was someone else, Takasugi would just click his tongue in annoyance and leave without a word. 

Gintoki entered the main building, the lights from above shining brightly within a deserted lobby. Everyone attending would have been upstairs, waiting for the live broadcast to come on. Taking a deep breath, and then a long exhale, Gintoki headed for the elevator once more. It was so quiet, just the dull clicking and the squeaking of his sneakers against waxed floors. Gintoki was calm and harboured no concerns about that night. But he couldn't stop thinking about Takasugi and what the score was now. He couldn't exactly remember. Before, he was the only one out of the two who didn't care about scores or results. Takasugi was always insisting that they compete and try to one-up eachother. It had been that way for years, but now such things are so rare. They barely even see eachother anymore. Certain circumstances led to such a distant relationship, a broken bond that couldn't be easily mended or fixed. 

Gintoki entered another hallway once the elevator came to a halt and the doors finally opened. To his surprise, there was only one person standing in the hallway. 

"Ah, Gintoki-sama". It was Tama, greeting him with a smile. 

"Tama, what are you doin' out here? Isn't the show being broadcasted right about now?" 

"I wanted to come get you, and wish you luck. Now, I know you're not too fond of this award, or any other award for that matter, however we all want to support you regardless. Not for tye reputation of the company, but for you achieved, Gintoki-sama". 

"That's...sweet of you, Tama. If I wasn't already reserved, I'd ask you on a date". 

"Pardon, Gintoki-sama?" 

"Er, nothin'. Anyway, should we get this over with? I've got somewhere to be tonight and I don't wanna be late". 

"They've already gone through half of the awards, but the Naoki award is next. Let's go inside and take a seat, okay?" 

"Sure thing". 

Tama led Gintoki into the meeting room, where most of the seats were taken. All eyes shifted to the door as it opened, Tama and Gintoki entering quietly. No one said a word, but Gintoki received a few odd smiles or nods from Shinpachi, Zura, Otose, Sakamoto and Tama. Takasugi's little publishing group kept their attention away from Giintoki. The only one that appeared to look his way was the loose hinge of the faction, Bansai. He glanced for just a few seconds before turning his attention back to Takasugi. With his smoking pipe between his lips, Takasugi focused on the tapping of his foot against the carpet. The same question popped up in Bansai's mind as it did earlier. He couldn't understand Takasugi's tenacity completely. He had an idea here and there, but Takasugi was more private about this topic than anything else that he's ever discussed with Bansai. Better to be left that way, for now. 

Gintoki leaned his back against the wall, watching the broadcast from a distance as he wasn't paying much attention to it in the first place. Well, not at first. 

"This is it". Otose muttered, crossing her arms. "Shinpachi, be a good kid and turn up the volume, will ya?" 

"Y-yeah, sure". Shinpachi took the remote from the table, clicking the volume button until everyone could clearly hear the applause as the live broadcast came back into action. The host walked on the stage, envelope clearly in hand as he stepped up to the podium. Everyone in the room listened quietly, watching the television intently. 

["Thank you everyone"]. The host began. ["We're here once again to award one of our most prestigious literature prizes, the Naoki Prize. Our nominees are...Shoichi Asahi, one of our newest authors, who is nominated for his autobiography, "Memories"..."Gin", for one of their latest best selling novels, "The Fireflies"...Emi Hamada for her most recent best seller, "Endless Tales" and finally..."Shin" for yet another best selling horror novel, "The Storm of Ikekuburo". And, I can proudly announce that the winner of the Naoki Prize, 2015, is..."]. 

The host swiftly removed the card from the envelope, the audience in both the hall where this broadcast was currently being filmed and within the office. Everyone was on the edge of their seat, waiting for it patiently. Then, it was all put to rest with one name. 

["..."Shin", for their best seller, "The Storm of Ikekuburo"]. The audience within the hall gave their applause, quite an uproar. 

A grin crossed Takasugi's face, smoking pipe between his teeth. He had won. The host continued, though it was somehing they had all heard before. 

["Unfortunately, "Shin" couldn't be here tonight, so we shall accept it on their behalf and award it to them as soon as possible. Next up we would like to..."]. 

The sound of the T.V was blocked out by everyone in the room, all eyes shifting towards Takasugi as he stood from his chair. It was quiet for a moment, a smirk across Takasugi's lips. Although he couldn't see it, Gintoki could certainly sense that it was there for the time being. 

"You'll have to excuse me". Takasugi muttered, holding his smoking pipe between his fingers. "I see no need in staying for an after-celebration. It's over". 

Takasugi turned around walking towards the door. As he did, not making eye contact, he uttered a few short words to Gintoki in his triumph. 

"167 to 166, Gintoki. I win". 

Takasugi made his swift exit, leaving Gintoki to stare blankly down at the floor. Bansai stood too, not saying a word as he made his own way out of the room, soon followed by Matako, and then Takechi. When all members of that particular group had left, everyone else had felt the need to exit as well. But no one did right away. 

"Gin-san, I'm sorry you didn't win. It must have been quite close with Takasugi-san". Shinpachi attempted to comfort Gintoki, as did others. 

"You would have both deserved the award, Gintoki-sama". Tama did her best with a smile, ready to pat Gintok's shoulder if need be. 

"She's right, Kintoki. I don't understand that weird spat between you and Shinsuke, but if it were up to me, you both woulda won. Haha!". Sakamoto wasn't much help anyway.

Gintoki smiled. However, it was a smile that both appreciated their kind words but was uneccesary comfort at the same time. 

"You guys worry too much. It's really not a big deal to me. Ah, shit...I forgot to congratulate that moron. I'll get around to it eventually. But, I'mma hit the road. It's getting late and Gin-san needs rest. See ya guys tomorrow, I guess". 

"Oh, goodbye, Gintoki-sama". 

"Bye, Gin-san. Have a good night". 

Gintoki briefly waved his goodbye to everybody as he exited the room. It was clear that he really didn't care whether he won or lost this thing. But there was something off, in Gintoki's expression. It wasn't something that could easily be placed into words, but it was a little concerning to those who noticed. Gintoki was a hard person to read, that much eas clear. Whatever he was thinking, well...that was his business alone. Whatever he was thinking...was hidden behind those nonchalant words and casual smile, as it always was. 

... 

The lights of the apartment flicked on once Takasugi and Bansai had entered. It was quite late already. Takasugi felt tired, yet sleep was always something that wished to be avoided unless there was some certainty that he would end up having a thoughtless dream. He didn't want to bring it up directly, but perhaps Bansai could stay with him again. Somehow having him there helped a lot with easing the bad dreams. It was strange...Despite his triumph in earning the award, he didn't take a moment to think about it. Nothing had changed in his adulthood. He removed his suit jacket, draping it over the sofa's back. He undid the first two buttons of his shirt, a smirk curving across his lips at his roomates silence. 

"You...don't wish to congratulate me, Bansai? You've been awfully quiet since we left, although I'm not totally surprised. Takechi and Kijimi were rather enthusiastic about my winning. They truely believed that I actually gave a damn. Hah, it's rather interesting to see someone other than that natural permed moron understand how I feel. You understand that much, don't you?"

Takasugi looked back to see Bansai stepping up from the entranceway, quiet as he usually was. That didn't last too long.

"I had a hunch". He shrugged in reply. 

"Tsk, a hunch...Sure, alright. Well, I have a hunch as well. You don't care about my win, do you? Before you answer, I wouldn't blame you, since I don't care either". 

"I daresay...you're right. I don't care about whether you won or lost. But...I do care about you yourself, Shinsuke-as odd as that sounds coming from me. It wouldn't matter to me if the cermony went one way or the other. Although, I think I partially understand your feelings-and I will not argue against them as being silly or insouciant. I would never dream of it because you know I'd support you till the end. That's what I swore to you, remember?" 

Bansai walked closer to Takasugi, comfortably and without hesitation. Takasugi, being the only one with hesitance, turned around to face Bansai as he could hear him approuch. 

"Till the end, huh?" Takasugi took his eyes off Bansai as those words repeated in his head softly, his body faltering in ease. 

He was so distrusting of others, never placing his life in anyone's hands. That is until Bansai came along out of the blue. It seemed so odd to give his trust to Bansai so easily, but it felt right to do so. For such a loose and uncooperative character, Takasugi could still sense Bansai's loyalty to him as a good friend and subordinate. The only person who had this "idea" of Takasugi's feelings around work and even in his personal life. It was a comfort, somehow. For someone like Bansai to know these things about Takasugi didn't feel like a weakness that he was exposing. It was more comforting. 

"Shinsuke, I'll be honest. Even without support from me, you're still a strong and intellectual person-you know this, of course. However, you don't need to prove that by winning awards or by gaining status. You know this as well, don't you?" 

Bansai placed both of his hands on Takasugi's shoulders, running his fingers down his arms and to his delicate hands in order to grasp them, squeeze them, hold them. Takasugi didn't resist, but held a strong and confident composure as he boldly leaned up to make the first kiss. He blocked out the room by closing his eye, his lips meeting Bansai's for a couple of seconds. Right after, Takasugi settled down and eased himself in by resting his head on Bansai's shoulder. 

"Yes, you're right, Bansai". He murmered softly. "I do know my own strength against someone like Gintoki. However...as I said, you can call this little annoyance of mine whatever you like. It's like a disease with no name, really. I can't help it. I have to prove to Gintoki, not myself or others, that I'm strong. But he...It's like he doesn't acknowledge it at all. And it pisses me off so much. I know it's silly and childish, but that's how it's always been with me and him...Silly and childish. Well...not always, I suppose".

He hated to think about it at such a time, the old memories painful and weighing heavily on Takasugi's mind as if he was blaming himself. He was, in a way. He had no doubt in his current strength, but he strived for it to grow, to surpass Gintoki and to make him acknowledge his intellect and abilities in mind. He knew it was like a goose chase, trying to make Gintoki feel weaker at such things, but that was a challenge. An extreme challenge that irritated Takasugi endlessly. He didn't know when to give up, honestly. Takasugi's raised his head from Bansai's shoulder, looking at his face-which was expressionless and serious. 

"You don't judge me, do you, Bansai?" 

"Of course not. It's not my place to judge your actions, thoughts or feelings unless it puts you in harm's way. But I will do what I can to guide you away from these feelings of yours, if you so wish it. If you fall, I'll catch you, Shinsuke". 

"Hah, that's so cheesy. But...I don't really mind. Just as long as you stay by my side, if everyone else abandons me and there's no one else left, you're the only one...who can't leave, Bansai". 

"Now look who's being cheesy". 

With only a moment's pause, they soon moved in to hold eachother affectionately and privately. If no one else but Bansai could see or know about Takasugi's few weakness', then it was okay. Takasugi wasn't a weak person-of course not. His softest spots were the most difficult to find through a hard exterior that he built up around himself. But recently he discovered that his hard and tough exterior can easily crumble when with Bansai, the one person he had left to trust completely. He was comfortable, being with someone who understood his feelings-if but the gist of them. Someone who would stay by him no matter what while remaining his own person with his own ideals and goals to follow. Bansai would never lose sight of that, as Takasugi chose not to lose sight of himself. Although, deep down he wasn't sure what that meant anymore. He couldn't figure out what kind of person he was, with everything that had happened. Where was this path taking him? It was just like back then...Lost with no guidance to follow. But...That's not what he was taught. 

("Shinsuke, you should make your own path in life. I am only here as your guardian and advisor during your childhood. That's the path I have chosen as a teacher. You...Hm, you can do whatever you truely wish. It may take some time, but I know you'll find a goal to reach. And I believe that you can reach it, wherever it may be. I believe in you, and all my students, Shinsuke"). 

Those words, that smile never faded from Takasugi's memory. He never wished for it to fade, even when he did discover his goals, his true purpose in life...He would never forget all the things that man taught him. So many wonderful things... 

("Learn to love other people, Shinsuke. And I know you'll be loved in return"). 

Takasugi gripped the back of Bansai's shirt securely in his fingers, his mind racing. Bansai could sense this feeling of anxiety stirring within Takasugi. It wasn't much different from the nights that Takasugi woke up so suddenly from nightmares. 

"Shinsuke, would you like to share the bed again tonight? We could go to either your room or mine. Whichever". 

Takasugi retracted himself from the hug, although he did not move away from Bansai's hold. 

"How about your room? I don't believe I've seen it yet". 

"Well, my bed's a little smaller than your, I daresay, but...". 

"It's fine". Takasugi muttered, a small smile on his lips. "We don't need too much space, anyway". 

"...Right. Of course. We should probably bathe first. Wanna share?" 

"Sure, why not?" 

"And I won't try anything funny, I promise". 

"Haha...No, I know. I don't doubt you, Bansai. Not at all". 

Learn to love and you'll receive the same, eh? Did Shouyou really teach him that? It was at the back of his mind, and it sounded like something his teacher would say, with a kind smile on his face. Well, he taught them many things. Many, many lessons that Takasugi didn't forget about. The most distinctive lesson that Takasugi could remember was that his teacher taught him to find his own path and follow it safely but freely. Takasugi wondered if he had been walking down that path already, or if he had only just begun, hand-in-hand with a particular someone. Someone standing by his side, always. Not someone to follow him blindly or be followed, but an equal who followed their own path while also providing guidance along the way. That thought past by in Takasugi's head as he felt warm, soft lips collide with his. Learn to love...and you'll be loved in return...Love, huh? What an odd concept. A really, really strange and foreign concept. One that was worth taking into consideration...someday. Not now or the next day or even the day after that. For now there was a straight path and a warm hand for guidance. For now, that's all Takasugi needed if he truely wanted to be of sound mind and soul. Nothing more, nothing less. 

... 

"...So you came, huh?" 

Those were the first words to be uttered from Gintoki's lips when he arrived at the top of the apartment building's stairs. And, as arranged, he was faced with Hijikata. Who else? He was standing in front of Gintoki's door with a plastic bag in hand, a box-shaped object weighing down the material. It left Gintoki curious, but that wasn't the focus right now. He hadn't seen Hijikata in that long that he honestly thought the guy still looked handsome, despite his lack of sleep. From experience, Gintoki knew that much. Hijikata didn't have much time to sleep, even though it was vaguely portrayed through the lightly shaded circles under his eyes and his slightly paler-than-usual complexion. His appearance was merely an appearance though as he reacted normally towards Gintoki's odd way of greeting him after a week. 

"What, you didn't want me to, after all?" 

"Nah, nah, ya dumbass. It's...okay to see you, I guess". 

"Oi, don't get all defensive now. I'm here and I...I suppose it was a whimsical decision to see you after all". 

"Now you're the one getting all defensive. Why don't we just fucking make-out in the hallway to contradict our usual shenigans? Haa, look, it's been a long night and...I am glad to see you, Hijikata. So, let's go in the apartment, sit on our asses and just relax a little. I'm sure we could both use it". 

"Y-yeah, you're right. Well, after you". 

Hijikata moved out of the way to allow Gintoki access to the door. He took out his key, pushing it into the lock. As he was about to turn it, Hijikata grabbed his wrist gently. 

"Gintoki, for what it's worth, I'm glad to see you...too". 

"...Hm, good to know". Gintoki smiled, appreciating Hijikata's lack of shame in those cute words. "Now, let's head inside. We can talk more over some sake, hm?" 

Hijikata gave a nod in agreement, letting go of Gintoki's wrist as he unlocked the door. They entered, slipping off their shoes and heading further inside. 

"So, uh, where's the China Girl? She around?" 

"No, just us. How convenient, huh?" 

"...I guess". 

It really had been a week since then. Things were tense and the situation was almost unreadable. After that time, neither really knew what to feel after the memory of those events sunk into their minds. Now that they slept together, it was a possibility for them to commit the same act twice, three times, again and again from now on. It was on their minds, but they didn't know when the next move was or could be. There was that small lack of confidence hanging in the air that left them both feeling anxious and tense towards eachother. However, there was no rush. They could just take the night slowly, maybe even without the need to end it with sex. At least, that was on Hijikata's mind. 

Shiiit. That was the main word to repeat in Gintoki's thoughts. The intesity and the awkwardness hit Gintoki harder than it did Hijikata. He was thinking about it. He was thinking about the time they had sex while they were in the apartment-an apartment, at least. Last time was in Hijikata's but this was now in Gintoki's. And he was excited to think about it all of a sudden. But, no. Even he considered the possibility that Hijikata wouldn't want this at such a time, after a week of non-stop work and Government servant duties. He would be tired and not in the mood. Gintoki internallly nodded, calming himself down. There was nothing wrong with that. Not like they had to have sex now that the opportunity was right in front of them. After that night with no sex, Hijikata could have gone back to work for another week or so and the cycle would just continue. Abstinence, again. A great lack in sexual activity, again. Gintoki, honestly, from the bottom of his heart, didn't want that. But he couldn't exactly force Hijikata to do stuff like that if he was worn out. Agh, what a pain in the ass to think about! 

"Oh, I almost forgot...". Hijikata muttered, setting down the plastic bag onto a nearby table, which usually kept spare keys and big hauls of grocery bags when they were brought in. "I, er, I got you something-since you were nominated for the Naoki prize and I just...saw it and thought of you. Ah, don't take that in a weird way. I mean...". 

"Hijikata...". 

"Yeah...?" 

"What did you get me?" 

"Oh, right. Um, okay". It was odd to see Hijikata lose his composure so easily, but then this wasn't the first time Gintoki had witnessed it. 

Hijikata pulled out a white box from the plastic bag, a plain white box with no brand name or anything to show where it came from. Hijikata approuched Gintoki with it, a red blush clear on Hijikata's face as he opened it up carefully. 

"Uh, c-congratulations, Gintoki". 

Gintoki's eyes widened and he gulped down saliva as it quickly formed in his mouth. What Hijikata had kindly bought for him was a decorative and very delicious looking cake. A strawberry one to boot. Hijikata had really thought about him, and he was being so shy about it... 

"Uh, y-you know, Hijikata-kun...I'd hate to burst your bubble, but I lost the Naoki prize to...someone else".

"O-oh, really? Well, I thought of that and, in that case...think of this as an apology for not contacting you sooner and for not being able to see you. I feel like an idiot for it, but I did want to see you sooner than this". 

"Is that...so? No one's ever...done something like this for me before". 

"...? Well, does that make is more of a big deal than it is? I mean, it was kinda on a whim but I really did think of you when I saw it, and I know how much you like this stuff. So-...?" 

It was so sudden, so unexpected when Gintoki leaned in to place a kiss on Hijikata's cheek. He pulled away, smiling softly at Hijikata. 

"Thanks, Hijikata. I'll tell ya the truth, this is way better than any award I've eve gotten. The cake, too. Seeing you get all shy is the real award for me". 

"Ah!...You...Haah...You're such an ass". 

"I'm glad that I get to see you too, Hijikata. Now, how 'bout we sit on the balcony and enjoy this amazing cake that you bought just for me?" 

"Haa...Yeah, okay. Do you have any sake here?" 

"Of course. Since it's kinda a special day, despite my loss, how about you feed me as well?" 

"Now you're just pushing your luck". 

"Fine, fine...I'll feed you". 

"Gintoki...". 

"Okay, okay, I get it. You go wait on the balcony and I'll grab the booze, the cups and some forks. It'll take just a minute". 

As Gintoki headed to the kitchen area, Hijikata rolled his eyes before heading toward the balcony doors. He should have expected Gintoki to act the way he usually does, shamelessly and stupidly. Those were the things that irritated Hijkata in the past. They still did a little, but Hijikata found that he was slowly growing accustomed to those things. It was almost like he missed them. He wisely decided to keep that to himself, hiding a small smile while his back was still towards Gintoki. 

... 

The sky was starless, the lights shining from below blocking out every single one. Gintoki and Hijikata sat on the balcony's loveseat, picking out their fair share from the ice cream cake. Gintoki insisted that they keep mayonnaise out of it, which turned into an argument. Of course, it didn't last too long as Hijikata just sighed and agreed that they wouldn't add mayo-but just that one time. The cake was too big for just two people, so about a quarter was left in the box as the two reclined in the chair with satisfied stomachs. They threw their forks down onto the wooden coffee table with a dull clank before leaning back. 

"Haaah...I'm so full". Gintoki groaned, rubbing soft circles into his stomach. "It was so good...I wanna eat more, but I can't. Shit...". 

"It wasn't that good, but you do enjoy this stuff a lot, don't you?" 

"Well, if it's from the person I like, it's only natural to wanna finish the whole thing, right?" 

Hijikata's cheeks warmed up, averting his gaze away from Gintoki. He still wasn't sure how to handle such boldly spoken words. 

"Gintoki, how...how can you say those things so casually? I mean, I guess we've already...admitted those things but...". 

"I see no problem in it. I've pretty much come to terms with it, since I've had plenty of time to think without having you around. Guess you know what they say: "Absence makes the heart grow fonder". In my case, my dick's grown a lot fonder of you". 

"You're the worst. The absolute worst". 

"In all seriousness, though, I know I do like you, Hijikata. It's still tough to think about, knowing that it's me and you, but I see no point in denying something like this. Seeing you right in front of me after even just a week, I just know. Don't you feel the same?" 

"...Yeah, I do. I'm just having a bit of trouble saying it out loud. You're starting to say it more often and I feel like I should be saying it more, too. We're...d-dating, after all". 

"If you're not comfortable with it, I understand. For now, I'll accept this cake as a confession, alright?" 

"Don't just decide that on your own!" 

"But it does mean that you like me. After all, you did think of me when you bought it, right? You picked it out specially for me, right?" 

Hijikata, embarrassed, fell silent. But the silence was what caught him out, especially since he was blushing under Gintoki's stare and smug expression. It was really cute, surprisingly so. 

"So, wanna know who won the award?" Gintoki began, picking his ear as he changed the subject. Sensing Hijikata's embarrasment, it was a good call to make. "It was "Shin", as he calls himself". 

"You mean Shinsuke Takasugi? You spoke of him before. So he won...". 

"Not that I care. Congratulations to him and all that, but...". 

("167 to 166, Gintoki. I win") 

Gintoki didn't know how to describe it. He figured that Takasugi would act that way in the first place if he won, which he did. But seeing it so up close, the face Takasugi made and hearing the tone of his voice left Gintoki feeling uneasy. He didn't know how to feel. He didn't mind that Takasugi won, it was just that...he didn't want him to win like that, under such circumstances, with their relationship as broken as it was. 

"Gintoki, I don't really know him that well-at all, in fact-but does he even care that he won? I mean, it's human nature that you would care about such things, but...call it a hunch, if you want, but it doesn't sound like he cares much either". 

"He doesn't. Not about the award at least. It's a personal thing". 

"I see. Did you two have a fight or something?" 

"Not exactly. It's something I can't really talk about". 

"Right, of course. Sorry, I didn't mean to pry". 

"...Don't worry about it". 

Things grew quiet, and for a few moments the two men looked out into the city and the sky above. Hijikata understood Gintoki's privacy, but it was in his nature to do whatever he could in order to cheer him up. It seemed so unnatural for Gintoki to look so serious. He suited a goofy smile best as he said something crude or weird. 

"You know, Gintoki...". He began, earning Gintoki's attention as he turned his head towards Hijikata. "I know that losing someone you care about is hard, I've seen it more times than most people do in a lifetime. But if it's still there, no matter how far away, there's still a chance you can reach it and make contact with it. So, what I'm saying is...You two could probably sort out your differences someday. I don't know what you two went through for your relationship to be so hostile, but I can understand what it's like to be unable to reach out to the person you care about and say the right things when it matters. I made that mistake once and I lost one of the most important people in my life, all because I was stubborn and stupid and...I cared so much about them that I thought they deserved better than to have me in their life". 

Gintoki knew exactly who Hijikata was talking about. It even hurt a little to see the same expression on Hijikata's face. However, this didn't last. Hijikata inhaled deeply and let out a huge breath to compose himself. He looked right at Gintoki, taking his hand in his. 

"With that being said, I might as well give you a fine example, right here and now. I...Gintoki, I...". Hijikata did hesitate, but he swallowed his pride and looked at Gintoki with sincerity. "I...I like you. Okay? I like you a lot, Gintoki". 

Gintoki's eyes were wide, his lips parted a little in astonishment. Hijikata didn't blink an eye as he said those words so sincerely, his cheeks practically glowing red. A smile soon crossed Gintoki's lips, his expression softening. 

"Hah...Me too, Hijikata. And, thank you. Really". 

"Gintoki...". 

"Yeah...?" 

"Can I...Can I kiss you?" 

"Hm, no need to ask, idiot. We can kiss whenever you like". 

Without another word, Gintoki remained still as he allowed Hijikata to move in, tilting his head to the side and closing his eyes as he inched closer and closer towards Gintoki. They both blocked out their surroundings as they both shut their eyes and took in the moment as it closed in on them, as they closed in on eachother. Knowing that Hijikata would take the lead, Gintoki kept his lips parted and took in a quick breath before he was met with Hijikata soft lips. A small kiss that parted in a second before Hijikata titled his head to the right, as if to get more comfortable. This time, their tongues met first so naturally before their lips did. Warm, wet and tingly, they both let out a soft moan within the second kiss. They shifted and fidgeted, soon holding eachother closely. Hijikata wrapped his arms around Gintoki's back, running one hand down his spine and slowly to his waist. Gintoki wrapped his arms around Hijikata's head, running his fingers through his silky hair in order to pull him in further. Parting lips once again, their tongues circled and flicked against eachother intimately. They panted and gasped during this, the kiss becoming so much more heated. Hijikata, getting more excited, dove right back into the kiss as he firmly pressed his lips against Gintoki's. 

"Mmn...?!" Gintoki moaned his surprise, clutching Hijikata's hair as he was almost unable to breathe. 

Hijikata groaned in pain, Gintoki's grip on his hair a little too tight. He pulled away, heavy panting shared between them. 

"That hurt, you know". Hijikata muttered. 

"Shut up, I couldn't help it. You really surprised me, aren't you being kinda aggressive? You're the one who said you liked me, so it should be the other way around". 

"Says who?" 

"Ooh, now you're even sounding aggressive. How scary~. What next, you're gonna top during sex?" 

"Yeah...". 

"...Eh?" Gintoki was only joking, but Hijikata answered without hesitating. He was so forward that Gintoki was caught off guard. "W-whoa, whoa, whoa, what? Hiji-Hijikata...you...You wanna top?" 

"Yeah, of course. Is that a problem?" 

"N-no, just unexpected. I mean, aren't you tired? You've been working hard all week and I, er, um...Y-you're being so forward about it. I never thought you'd take the lead so suddenly". 

"Well, I've been thinking about it and now seems like the perfect time. Gintoki, tonight, I'm going to be on top". 

"...! ...". 

Gintoki was hesitant. He had never been in such a position before. He didn't know how it would feel or how much it would hurt. Then again, Hijikata went through the exact same thing. He probably had the exact same thoughts. This relationship that they had went both ways, two sides of the same coin. They could both top or bottom when it came to this stuff. They were inexperienced with guys, but the point was to learn and get better. Since it was clear that they had begun to like eachother a lot more than they used to, it was only fair to switch and exchange the same feelings and sensations that they got from sex or any other kind of intimacy. So what choice did Gintoki have? He nodded his head bashfully, and that was that. Cupping Gintoki's cheek, Hijikata leaned in once more to press their lips together. Gintoki wasn't as confident as he usually is, but the truth was that...Hijikata wasn't confident either. 

... 

(Warning: Explicit sexual content. And it's Hijigin this time, so...Yeah) 

The lights in the bedroom were dim, the heat growing slowly and gradually between them. Hijikata pulled up Gintoki shirt and tossed it aside before swiftly moving back in to hold him and kiss him. It tasted so sweet from the cake they had earlier. It made licking and sucking on eachother's tongues more pleasurable. Gintoki was the first to pull away, breathless. He panted heavily, shaking slightly as he knew what was to come. Well, not exactly. 

"Hey, Hijikata, I've gotta ask...What...What does it feel like?" It was a reasonable question. From the look on Gintoki's face, Hijikata knew he was being serious. 

"I'm not gonna lie, it does hurt at first. But if I'm careful, it should feel good in no time flat. I'll be as gentle as possible, okay?" 

"Yeah, okay...". Gintoki felt himself lose any composure he had left quickly, covering up his face with his hand. "Agh, fuck...Fuck, fuck, fuck, I'm nervous. I've never done this before". 

"Me neither. Well, I've never topped with a guy, so". Hijikata took a hold of Gintoki's hand, taking it away from his face to meet gazes. "...yeah, I'm nervous too". 

Just like last time, it was reassuring to know that Gintoki was with someone who had a lack of experience. But it didn't calm his heart as it raced on during this moment. Gintoki rested his hands on Hijikata's broad shoulders, kissing him on the lips before immediatly moving down to kiss his neck. 

"Oi, what are you-haah!" Hijikata gasped when Gintoki's tongue slicked across his sensitive skin. "G-Gintoki...?" 

"Don't think just because you're topping that I'm the only one that'll be sensitive. We're both supposed to feel good, remember?"

"Well, of course, but-hn! Ah...Haah...". Gintoki pressed his lips against Hijikata's neck, dragging his tongue up and sucking on the skin. "O-oi, don't leave a mark there...Nn! Haah...Two can play at that game, y'know". 

Hijikata placed several kisses across Gintoki's shoulder, wrapping his arms securely around his waist. He guided his hands around, towards Gintoki's thighs. He ran his hands down and then right back up slyly before moving his hand inbetween. 

"Mnn! Hn-nhah...haah...". Gintoki moved away from Hijikata's neck, his body tense from the sudden jolt that ran through his crotch. 

Hijikata had cupped it, firmly pressing his fingers against him. Hijikata took it upon himself, building up all his courage to take the initiative, to simply undo Gintoki's pants and pull them down to his knees. That was it so far, Gintoki's boxers, with the stawberry pattern, remaining on. A slight buldge stood out from underneath, the sight making Hijikata's cheeks warm up immensly. 

"O-oi, don't stare...I can't exactly help it". Gintoki muttered, quietly, as if he had lost all energy to properly yell at Hijikata. In this situation, already, he couldn't find that energy. 

"I-I know, sorry. Uh, do you wanna...turn your back to me? That's how we did it last time and...it's more comfortable that way". 

Gintoki hesitated, but did eventually nod in agreement. He shifted and adjusted himself as he turned around and faced the head of his bed, shivering when feeling Hijikata's hot breath cross his neck. Hijikata's arms wrapped around Gintoki's waist, pulling him in closer until they made skin contact. Nothing said that this wasn't embarrassing, but they were calmer when not looking directly at eachother. Gintoki let out a soft moan when Hijikata warm and moist lips met the nape of his neck, inhaling into his silver hair. He continued to kiss this spot sweetly, hearing soft panting emit past Gintoki's lips. He ran his hand down Gintoki's stomach and then to his crotch once more. He groped the buldge pressing against the soft material. It was hard and hot, and sensitive. 

"Ah-haah! Ah, ha, aah...Hi-nnh! Haa, haah!" Heat covered their bodies, sweat beads forming as the excitment grew-and so early on. 

A daring notion rippled through Hijikata's thoughts. Never had he heard such noises come from Gintoki's mouth, and it was exciting. Hijikata took a breath, running his tongue up the shell up Gintok's ear as he reached his hand underneath his underwear. There was a sharp gasp from Gintoki, his mind going blank as both sensations surprised him beyond belief. Having Hijikata touch him down there emphasised just how hot it was. He squeezed his eyes shut, expecting Hijikata to just get on with it. However, there was hesitation, a pause. Opening his eyes once more, Gintoki managed to relax a tiny bit. 

"You...You okay back there? Why did you, haa, stop?" 

"Why do you think? I've never done this before...not-...not even to myself". 

"Haa...Serious? How the fuck did you get through adolescents? Haa, am I gonna have to show you, doing it to...me?" 

"What other choice do we have? I don't know where it'll feel good for you. I don't want to accidentally hurt you". 

"O-okay, okay. It's no problem, really. Just...take it slow at first and work your way up. T-take a hold of m-me and...y-y'know...". 

Gintoki's obviously felt awkward when talking about the process. He never explained that before, he just knew how to do it. You would think Hijikata knew as well, but no, not exactly. 

"Sorry. That would have been weird to explain. This is my first time doing this to someone". 

"It's fine, Hijikata. I felt the same when I was doing it to you. Now, come on. It's easy".

Hijikata rested his chin on Gintoki's shoulder to peer over. His hand gripped Gintoki, but not too tightly. He slid his hand and finger up and along the skin, then made his way back down. He repeated this a few times, taking it slowly until he got the hang of it. Until they both got the hang of it. 

"Th-that's it...J-just like tha-aah...Ha, haa, a-ah! Hah! Nnh! Nn! Hijika-aa-...!" 

Hijikata's hand movements sped up, putting more pressure into Gintoki erection as it grew harder in his hand. Gintoki's whole body became tense, his toes curling and his moans straining within his throat as he tried to keep his voice down. He could feel the pressure build up inside, like a pipe that's about to burst. But he was far from release. Hijikata's confidence gradually emerged and became more evident in his movements. For instance, he teased Gintoki's ear with his tongue and kissed his shoulder, eventually sinking his teeth into the flesh and causing a temporary spasm in Gintoki's body as he allowed a sensual moan to escape. Hearing Gintoki let out those noises, although not because he wanted to, Hijikata became aroused and enticed. He had never felt so in control during intimacy, not like this anyway. 

Gintok's hard, twitching erection began to leak and sputter soon after Hijikata increased speed in his hand movements. 

"Haa! Haa! A-ahn! Uhn!-nnh! Haa, haah! Hijikata, wai-wait...I'm...I can't...I'm gonna...gonna-aa! Hah! Go-gonna come!" 

"Haa...It's okay. Let it out". 

Gintoki gradually neared release, his body twitching and his peak fit to burst. It wasn't long until it did. 

"Wa-ah...ahnn!...nng! Fwahah...haah, haa...". Gintoki ejaculated, his hips bucking up at his release as white fluids erupted from his manhood. He drooled a little, saliva running down his chin as he panted heavily. 

Hijikata retracted his hand, inbetween his fingers lay the sticky residue. He looked to Gintoki, seeing as his cheeks were bright red from the heat. 

"Gintoki, you okay? Did that...feel good?" 

"Y-yeah, dummy. I'm fine. Just lemme...lemme rest. Haah...And, y-yeah, that felt really good. So, good job, Mr Policeman". 

Gintoki chuckled softly. Despite his condition, he still had his sense of humor. 

"My shoulder hurts...Why'd you bite me?" 

"Sorry, got lost in the moment. Is it bad?" 

"Nah, just stings like hell. You're quite feisty, huh? I'm okay with that, too, ya little sadist". 

"Shut it, don't lump me together with you". 

"Haha, sure, sure. Hey, Hijikata...". Gintoki gave Hijikata a smirk from his position, which was never exactly a good sign. "Want me to get you off too?" 

"Huh...?!" 

"Oh, don't gimme that. You did it for me last time. Here, it'll be okay".

Gintoki turned around, clearly back to his calm and collected self in no time. The relief must have brought that back to the surface. He undid Hijikata's pants, loosening the buttons and pulling down the zipper swiftly. 

"H-hey, where's this confidence coming from?! Are you an idiot?!" 

"I must be, since I'm doing this with you. But it's good practice, since we're obviously gonna do this more than once. Just go with the flow". 

"Gintoki, you really...have no shame, do you?" 

"Not really". 

Gintoki could build up his confidence in no time flat, doing things like this once he got the gist of it. Before he was so hesitant and didn't have a clue about this stuff. But now he went on with it so naturally, like he really wanted to. He really did like Hijikata, huh? Hah, there was no real question anymore, was there? It was blatantly obvious that Gintoki felt this affinity for Hijikata that now allowed him the courage and confidence that came with an intimate relationship. The ability to step forth and drop all shame in order to commit these acts without flinching. Although, that was in Gintoki's character anyway. 

"Right, just relax. Knowing how fast you came last time, this shouldn't take too long either". 

"Shut up, it wasn't that fast". 

"We'll see. Now, c'mere you". 

Gintoki kissed Hijikata's lips, not hesitating at all as he parted his and gave Hijikata the opportunity to dominate it. Of course, Hijikata did hesitate, astonished at the abrupt action. He moaned sensually against the kiss when Gintoki made the sneaky move to run his fingers down and underneath Hijikata's pants. He gasped away from Gintoki's lips swiftly. 

"Haah! A-ah...Gin-nn!...Gintoki...Hah, w-wait...Don't...Aah, you stupid...b-bastard...". 

Since the rest of Hijikata junior was out of reach within his pants and boxers, Gintoki simply rubbed his thumb against the tip as if teasing Hijikata. It tingled and it tickled and it completely disoriented Hijikata's thinking process as he had to bear such an unusual sensation. 

"A-ah! C-cut it...ou-out! N-no! I can't...nn-nnh! Hah! Bastard...s-stop it...". 

"Haah..Does this feel good, Hijikata? Aren't you gonna get me back? That'd be fun to see". 

Hijikata grew frustrated. No, he couldn't allow this sadist take over. Knowing that, Hijikata had no choice but to fight fire with fire. So he composed himself as best as he could, and pulled a smirk. 

"Heh...what are you...d-doing this for? You too nervous to bottom, is that it?" 

Gintoki stopped, seeing Hijikata's expression. He remained cool and collected, or tried to. 

"W-well, yeah-I've said that but...". 

"So are you trying to get out of it?" 

"No, what...what gave you that idea? I'm just messing around with you, Hijikata. I know you wanna get off too, so I'm...getting you off". 

"So, you wouldn't mind if I prepared you, right? I just use my fingers, don't I?" 

"Eh? H-hang on a sec-hah-ah! Aah!" Gintoki gasped at first, feeling Hijikata's hand grope his rear to push the firm flesh out of the way. Gintoki then let out a moan when Hijikata's dry fingers pushed its way inside and penetrated as far as it could go. It was hot and hard, seeing as no preparation was given to Hijikata's fingers prior to this. 

"Hi-Hijikata, w-wait...Gah, ahn...aah! L-look, I didn't mean to...t-tease you. I was really fooling around, okay? So...take your finger ou-out. It feels weird...". 

"We're doing this anyway, so just relax. Actually, lie on your back. This might by and awkward position for you". 

"H-how would you know?!" 

"Well, you're really tight, even with just one finger. You did this to me, I'm just copying what you did. Now, lie down". 

Gintoki dithered, stalling on what to do in this situation. Hijikata was right, this was going to happen anyway. And it couldn't hurt to get more comfortable. Without a word, Hijikata pulled out his finger to allow Gintoki to lay on his back. With this, Hijikata could pull away Gintoki's boxers and finally get him in a more comfortable positon. He would hate to hurt Gintoki. He spread out Gintoki's legs, pushing his finger back into the hot and tight hole that twitched and contracted around his finger. The sensation was extremely weird for Gintoki, the pressure against his virgin walls causing his reflexes to activate. He gripped the bed sheets, his toes curling and his back arching at the foreign feeling that wriggled inside. It poked and proded for a few moments before Gintoki could relax and ease his tension through soft panting. 

"How is it so far?" Hijikata asked, anxious. 

"Feels weird...Really weird". 

"It doesn't hurt?" Gintoki shook his head in response. "Then it would be okay to move my finger? Okay...Try and relax. We'll just...take it slowly". 

Hijikata had never done this before, neither of them. A whole new experience all over again within the safety of eachother's company-and with no one else around. That's what made it easier, despite their anxiety. Hijikata pulled back his finger until the tip was still inside. He hesitated a little before pushing it back in. 

"Hm-mn! Nh-gh! Haa, haa, hah...". Gintoki's hands shook as they gripped the bedsheets tightly. He gradually grew accustomed to this odd sensation that pressed against his insides. It tingled. At least, it did eventually. And, without warning, that feeling grew once Hijikata pushed another finger inside, stretching Gintoki out further. 

"Hna-aah! Aagh! Ha, haah, hah! Haa! Au-auh! Hijikata! W-wai-aah!" 

Gintoki gasped and moaned, the two fingers rubbing against his insides at a faster pace. He twitched around them whenever they proded closely to a particular spot that was just out of reach. Due to this, Hijikata found that Gintoki's insides were becoming softer and wetter with each thrust. His moans changed gradually, the noises sounding more sensual and out of pleasure than discomfort. Gintoki grew hard, arching his back and even bucking his hips up as he wished for that spot to be poked and rubbed-simply out of curiosity. One more finger was pushed inside, and Gintoki tightened up once more. 

"Hah! Aa! Haah...A-ah! Ahn! Hah! Hijikata, tha-that's enough...Just-agh! G-ge-uhn! Get it over...w-with. It's fine so jus-uh!" 

"Gintoki...Are you sure?" Good thing Hijikata stopped moving his hand, allowing Gintoki to smile up at him with confidence. 

"Yeah...Yeah, go ahead. I'm still fuckin' nervous but...Hell, if you can do it, so can I, Mr Vice Commander". 

Seeing how sure Gintoki was gave Hijikata a little boost of confidence. In a situation like this, who wouldn't be nervous, shaking and sweating from the heat of the moment? But it was okay. As Gintoki said, if one could do it so could the other. Hijikata retracted his fingers, pulling down his pants and boxer-briefs slightly. His heart pounded, his hands shaking as they gripped Gintoki's legs firmly. He took in a deep breath, taking a hold of himself and slowly guiding it inside. Hijikata gasped, pushing the head in slowly. And, of course, Gintoki didn't let out the best reaction either. It was uncomfortable and it hurt within the first few seconds of entry. But there was no use stopping unless it really hurt Gintoki. 

"Tell me if it's too painful and I'll stop, alright?" 

"Y-yeah, got it. Just...keep going. I don't mind just-gh! Uah! Aah!" 

Hijikata forced more of himself inside, panting heavily and forming a cold sweat across his back as Gintoki pulsed and twitched around him. It was hot inside, very hot. So tight that it was almost painful. But, unfortunately, Gintoki gave no sign or protest that it was hurting him too much. He bit his bottom lip and beared every sensation as it coursed through him. Hijikata wasn't surprised. Gintoki was like that anyway, after all. 

"Haa, haa! Gintoki, you alright?" 

"F-fine...Is it...all in?" 

"No-but just a bit more. Just hold on a little longer. Hn-nnng!" 

"Gh-nng! Nnh! Haa! Hah! Hah! A-aagh!" 

Gintoki arched his back, crying out in pain as he was stretxhed out more. But Hijikata was finally inside, all the way. They took a few moments to pant heavily and take in the hot, tight, painful feeling while it lasted. It was only a little to bear compared to what was to come. However, neither wanted to think like that. They wnated this to feel good and be worth it in the end. Hijikata, especially, wanted to make sure of that. As Gintoki lay there, panting, his eyes watering from the pain, Hijikata took the opportunity to cup both of his cheeks and kiss his lips affectionately as a brief distraction. He pulled away, just by a few inches. They each panted heavily, each hot breath passing across their faces like a breeze. Sweat slid down their temples and cheeks, a droplet of two dripping from the tip of Hijikata's nose and landing directly onto Gintoki's. 

"Gintoki...". Hijikata whispered, caressing Gintoki's cheek for just a moment longer. "Are you ready?" 

"Hm...As ready as I'll ever be, I think". 

"Alright...Then hold onto me. I'll do the same for you, okay? Get ready". 

Hijikata took a firm hold of Gintoki's hips as he pulled back a bit. Gintoki wrapped his legs around Hijikata's waist, groaning and twitching as the action seemed to pull him further inside. He gripped the sheets tightly above his head, taking a few more deep breaths before it began. Eventually, Hijikata pulled his hips back, his breath trembling at the sensation. Gintoki groaned softly, gasping once Hijikata stopped. It didn't take too long for Hijikata to move back in, slowly and carefully, before pulling hack once more. Gripping Gintoki's hips firmly, even digging his nails into the skin, Hijikata moved in the same way over and over. He, too, gripped the bedsheets above Gintoki's head with just one hand for more reach. He picked up the pace, gradually moving faster, grinding against Gintoki as the pain faded away and the pleasure slowly grew between them. 

"Haa! Haa! Hah! A-ah, haa! A-ah! Hiji-eek! U-uhn! Nnh! Ha-ah! Agh! Hijikata! Hmm! Mn!" 

Gintoki's moans and gasps grew louder, ringing in Hijikata's ears. He was feeling good too, it seemed. That encouraged Hijikata to speed up more, slam his hips harder into Gintoki. They were both aroused, excited and hot. Gintoki loosened up more, his insides soft and practically melting around Hijikata while they were being rubbed in all the right places. That is until that one particular spot was finally-finally reached. 

"Haa! A-aah?! Hah! A-auh! Ahn! Hijika-ah!? Aah! Hijikata! Wh-uah! Uwah! Fwaa!" 

Gintoki arched his back, thrusting his hips up once that spot was hit, hard. With his mouth wide open to let his voice escape, Gintoki began drooling with every moan that came out on accident. He couldn't help it anymore. This feeling...It was just too amazing. 

"G-Gintoki, does it feel good?" 

"Y-yeah! F-feels so goo-oh! Ooh! Ah! Aah! Haah! Hah! A-aahn! Ahn! So good! I'm not...Hijikata, I'm not gonna l-last!" 

"M-me neither. I'm getting close. Really close. Gintoki...Gintoki!" 

Hijikata could feel his peak nearing quicker and quicker with each hard thrust against Gintoki's good spot. Gintoki tightened up every now and then, panting and moaning uncontrollably as the tingling and the sheer force of Hijikata's thrusts turned his legs to jelly. The pressure within built up once more, his manhood leaking like crazy as it twitched and throbbed. 

"Hijikata, touch me! I'm so close! So cl-close~! I have to-a-aah! Aaah!" 

Pressing his other hand into the matress, Hijikata used his free one to stroke out Gintoki's orgasm, officially pushing him over the edge. 

"Gintoki...Gintoki!" Hijikata captured Gintoki in a deep kiss when he finally reached his peak, coming inside. Gintoki, surprised, moaned against the kiss, ejaculating as well as Hijikata accidentally squeezed his erection in excitment. 

The kiss quickly parted, the two men gasping for breath, followed by heavy panting. On instinct, Hijikata wrapped his arms around Gintoki, muttering his name breathlessly. Gintoki held onto Hijikata too, resting his hands over his sweaty back without a care. Once again they were left exhausted and satisfied. A good feeling that left them both in total bliss for a few moments longer before they would inevitably fall asleep. Not another word to be spoken, not another sound othe than the soft panting and the little wet sound that seemed to echo between them as they moved in for another kiss. What and end to the night. A long, tiring, but amazing night. 

... 

Gintoki shifted slightly, his eyelids still as heavy as this weight on his body. His toes curled under warm bedsheets and his eyes remained firmly shut under the morning suns rays. A pair of arms squeezed around him securely from behind. When that happened, strangely enough, the first thought to come into his head was the realisation that he had effectively become the little spoon this time around. Not that he and Hijikata had spooned before, but he just never expected to be the first one to be spooned. He inhaled deeply, snuggling his face into the pillow and squeezing the hand that held his. He received a reaction, the sheets shifted behind him as his "sleeping companion", or simply Hijikata, had woken up. Warm breath tickled his neck, a smile pressing against his skin in a nervous kiss. A smile formed on Gintoki's lips, too.

"Man, you're pretty cuddly, aren't ya, Hijikata?" 

"...?! I thought you were still sleeping". 

"Nope, I'm only half alseep now. Is this a little fantasy of your, cuddling up to the person you like after such an amazing night with them? Or should I just say "him"?" 

Gintoki opened his eyes, the first thing he sees being a blushing Hijikata's looming above him, quite closely. Gintoki chuckled, brushing his knuckled softly against Hijikata's flushed cheek. 

"Good morning...". Gintoki finally said, more giddy than he probably should have been. 

"You seem quite happy. Don't your hips hurt?" 

"Of course they hurt. It's the worst, but I'm half asleep, remember? Don't you ever feel oddly giddy when you're half alseep?" 

>"Not really. Listen, are you gonna stay in bed for much longer? I don't have any work until this afternoon, so maybe we could...uh, spend some time together? Or are you busy?" 

"Nah, I'm not busy. Sounds fun, having you around just a little while longer-as crazy as that sounds. We could go out for breakfast, walk around the park, grab some bubble tea...". Gintoki relaxed more and more as he grew more and more sleepy. He snuggled up into his pillow once more and mumbled a few last words before drifting back off to sleep. "Or we could just stay here...and sleep for just a little while longer, hm?". 

Gintoki fell silent, breathing softly as he went straight back to sleep. Hijikata left him be, not wanting to disturb him while he was so peaceful. He was in pain, anyway, so there was no use getting up if it would just hurt him. So, in the end, Hijikata decided to join him. He wrapped his arms around Gintoki once more, pressing his lips to the nape of his neck. 

"Alright...". He whisepred. "But just for a little while". 

Hijikata closed his eyes, sighing deeply as he, too, drifted back off into the world of slumber. Even just this, the two of them being lazy together during the early hours of the morning, was nice and pleasant. Even if it was just this, neither of them minded. What happened last night was an amazing accomplishment for Hijikata, despite his lack of confidence. He wasn't even thinking about being on top for the first time. What he remembered was how he told Gintoki that he liked him, without blinking or flicnhing. He felt that he could be just as open about it now as Gintoki could. Although neither of them would make a habit of saying it often, it was right there in front of them from now on. It was carved into their hearts as yet another big step forward. Yet it felt like there were many more to come from here on out. And nothing could say that taking those steps wasn't possible. After this, with two guys like Gintoki and Hijikata, anything between them seemed possible. They just had to be patient and let the next opportunity come to them...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fwah...I...I...Gintoki bottomed...That's a thing...I did it. I think I'm gonna go lie down and think about all my life choices up to this point. It's amazing. Truely. Oh, see what I did there with Gintoki and Takasugi? In this alternate universe, they rely on strength of the mind instead of body and sword. Ahhh...That's a thing I'm doing. And Hijikata and Bansai are sweethearts. Best boyfriends (although not exactly labeled that yet). :D That's all I have to say. Thanks again, everyone. Bye.


	11. A Promise Unbroken

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are we sitting comfortably? Are we ready? Because it's time-what time?
> 
> ...Story time. 
> 
> Oh, yes. Story. We're gonna have some story in this fanfiction! I've been wanting to put some story in for so long and here it is! Story development! But just a little story development. The bigger more feelsy stuff will have to wait. Still, I hope this is enjoyable and does cause some feels to stir. So, here we go. Story time. Enjoy.

After the summer rain storm, humidity hung around in the summer's air. The thin puddles across the corroded pavement splashed under Gintoki's feet as he careslessly walked through them without a second thought, dragging his scooter down the path. It was the afternoon, gradually nearing the evening that wouldn't be dark for hours. A perfect time, for Otose, at least.

"Granny, why the hell did you drag me all the way back here after all this time? You mind at least givin me a hint?" 

"Nope...". Otose replied firmly, looking on straight ahead as Gintoki tried to keep up. "You've past through here enough times. Figure it out". 

"Ah, c'mon~. I haven't been this far out in years. So, what, we heading to the Kabukicho district? You dragging me back to your old lady home? If it's about rent, I paid all of it back when I moved out, as painful as it was". 

"How sweet". Otose said sarcastically, but received yet another retort from the big-mouthed natural perm head. 

"I'm talking about giving you my money. I was only just starting out as an author, I didn't have as much as I do now". 

"You're the worst". 

"Am I really? You're starting to sound like you miss having me around". 

"You wish". 

It had been a few years since Gintoki came to this particular district. It wasn't as wide and open as the other districts in Tokyo, which are much closer to home. Gintoki could vaguely remember the nights he would go gambling or drinking, very rarely did he manage to find a pretty young lady who took a liking to him-if but for just one night. Eventually that kind of lifestyle slowed down once he reached his late twenties. Now the only sex he gets is with a mayonnaise-addicted cop. A mayonnaise-addicted cop whom Gintoki liked, quite a bit, who fucked him up good just a few nights prior to this. He didn't want to remember that now, of all places. So, brushing that recent memory to the side, Gintoki focused squarely on the road ahead of him. Once they had gone this far, the memories clicked and Gintoki followed the path at a natural pace. It was odd for his gaze to shift towards an area with no lights on, abandoned and empty. When they had neared a particular building nestling among a few others, the same curiosity sprang to mind as it did back then. 

"Hey, Granny, that room above is still unoccupied?" 

"Hm? Oh, yeah. I would rent it out, but having one useless bum forget to pay rent is enough". 

"Are you still mad about that? I paid it all back-and I worked my ass off for it. Geez...So, why did you bring me here after all this time? Can you tell me now?" 

"Sure, sure. Come on in and I'll pour you a drink". 

Yes, here they were. Here Gintoki was, again. Otose's Snack House. It had been a long time, quite a few years since he stepped through the front door, shifting back the banner as he entered. When he did, the lights flicked on. Granny stood by the light switched for a moment, taking out a cigarette before walking behind the bar's counter. Nostalgia, how surprising. Gintoki didn't realise he had such an affinity for this place after so long. He would have liked to think it was because of the good booze, but no. It went a lot deeper than that, and he knew it. 

"Come on, sit your ass down. I'm sure you want a drink". 

"Tch, ya know, I can't believe you're still running this place. A publisher and a snack house owner. Must be hard, breaking your back everyday for a bunch of old men". 

"Including you, Gintoki. Including you". 

Otose got out a bottle from the shelf behind her, then taking out two glasses before setting each down in front of Gintoki. He still didn't know what the purpose of this was or why she had dragged him all the way back. It couldn't have just been for a drink, could it? Otose poured a drink for them both, taking her own glass in hand. Gintoki, hesitant, took his glass. 

"Well...". The old hag began, taking her cigarette from her wrinkled lips and puffing out a thick cloud of smoke. "Here's to your horrific loss at the Naoki awards". 

"That's what this is about?! To discourage me over a drink?!" 

"Ah, nah, I'm not trying to discourage you. I was planning to invite you anyway, but your loss gave me an excuse". 

"Eh? So, wait a minute, you literally just invited me over to drink?" 

"That's right. Just a drink and a little chat. It's been a while, don't you think?" 

"How lonely are you, old woman?" 

"It has nothing to do with that, asshole! Haah, really...Gintoki, you and I...we never really talk anymore because of work and the fact that you're running off with some guy". 

"...?!" How did she know about that?! 

"The point is that, I just wanted to talk for a bit, see how you've been handling yourself. Just like the old times". 

"We did talk a lot during the old times. 'Course, it was just a few years ago, but I see what you mean". 

"You always had a lot on your mind, things you wanted to share-even with just an old woman like me". 

"You're no different, Granny. You, too, had a lot on your mind-stuff you wanted to share with an old man like me". 

"Oi, you have no right to call yourself old in front of me. Compared to me, you're still a child".

"Yeah, I guess". 

It really did feel like old times, before their work relationship. Living under one roof in a japanese-style home with a low income and no blood relation between the two. Despite the situation, it was the most Gintoki had felt at home since...Well, since certain circumstances occured and, for a while, he had forgotten what home felt like. This was the closest thing to it. Otose walked out from behind the counter, grabbing a seat beside Gintoki. He moved the ash tray closer to her before taking another drink. 

"Thanks, kid. Hard to believe you quit smoking. Never met anyone with that kinda bravery". 

"Heh, well, guess what, I'm still struggling. Those nicotine patches don't do shit". 

"Tell me about it". 

"What, you tried to quit?" 

"At some point. But, you know, when you get to my age, you eventually give up trying to avoid the inevitable; poor health, illness, death. There's no point if you know where you're going anyway. You, I'm actually glad you quit smoking when you did. You say you're getting old, but the reality is that you've still got your whole life ahead of you, Gintoki. At one point, I found it odd that you wasted a couple of those years around an old hag". 

"Ehh? What's this? How come you're getting all sentimental on me? You take the wrong pills this morning, Granny?" 

"Maybe. I just needed to get that off my chest. As lazy and useless as you can be, you're a good kid, Gintoki".

"...Thanks, Granny. You're not too bad yourself". 

"...Drink up. There's still plenty of booze if ya want it". 

"No problem". 

At their ages, time seems to go by in a flash. With the events and the occurances that went by in their lives that led up to their first meeting...It all seemed so close by in memory. Gintoki could still remember that day vividly. The cold, the exhaustion, every struggle in every single footstep that led him to the right place at the right time. Without that, he wasn't sure where he would end up. When it all came down to it, that old lady saved his life. It didn't take physical strength or kindjess to drag his ass back home. It took tolerance, and a promise on that one winter's evening... 

...

A Few Years Ago.. 

How long had he walked? How much further could he go? Gintoki's lungs were heavy, his lips blue and trembling from the harsh winter. He never expected to be wandering out here with no money, no place to go. He was truely alone this time. He was all alone...again. It wasn't something to cry about, but it just felt so familiar. His stomach was empty and his legs dragged him down painfully. He held onto every edge or handle of each structure he passed by, stumbling and nearly collapsing into stone walls. He never expected to feel so weak, but avoiding meals does that to a guy. He would have laughed if he wasn't suffering this much. Gintoki's legs tremboed beneath him as he made an attempt to climb up a set of stones steps. He had no idea where they led, but he hoped that he could rest soon. Not out in the open, not like this. Dragging his feet, Gintoki found that he had reached an old cemetary in tue middle of this empty district. It wasn't out in the open, and it wasn't exactly the place for large crowds. Fuck it, he thought. What harm could it do? 

Gintoki continued on, his heart racing as he had used up most of his energy to wander aimlessly through the snow and the winter fog. Thoughtlessly, he wandered to farthest grave, straight ahead of the entrance. With whatever strength he had left, he took the walk towards it, eventually falling to his knees and crawling for just a few seconds more. Through the snow and the stone slabs beneath his hands and knees, he moved behind the family tombstone and sat perfectly still with his back against the stone. Gintoki leaned his head back, a cloud of frozen breath escaping past his frozen lips. Never had he thought he would cause himself this much pain, it was laughable, really. He knew his body couldn't move anymore, at least in his current condition. His limbs ached, his hands and cheeks a crimson red from the harsh cold. The only thing on his mind, the only question was... 

"Haah...How the hell did it turn out...like this?" 

He murmured those words under his breath, although he lacked the will to breath. There was no one to answer, not anymore. No guidance, no words of solace, nothing but the silence-the painful, heart-wrenching silence. At least, for a time. For a moment... 

"Turn out like what?" 

A voice broke through the silence, not exactly reaching out to Gintoki-but it was there and it replied to him. He hesitated, unfamiliar with this voice. By the sound of it, shrill and old, he figured that it was some old hag come to pay her respects to a family member who kicked the bucket long before she did. Although this woman's voice was shrill, it was kind. 

"This...". Gintoki replied blandly, not turning to face this old woman. "How often do you see a guy hang out behind a grave, freezing his ass off out here?" 

"You say it like you're here by choice. But, clearly, that's not the case, is it?" 

Of course not. Gintoki took a long pause, hesitating from answering her. It was something he couldn't talk about-especially to someone he didn't even know. However, this wasn't the first time he found himself in such a situation. And, in the past, he would change the subject swiftly with nothing more to add to the prior topic. 

"...Hey, Granny...are those dumplings?" 

At the corner of Gintoki's eye, he could just about see the offering that the old lady had brought with her. His stomach ached with hunger at the thought. 

"For my husband. If you want any, you'll have to ask him yourself". 

From the state he was in, as far as this old woman could see, it may have been that this guy hadn't eaten in quite some time. And in such cold conditions, it would only feel worse. 

"...Sure, sure. Whatever. I'll give him a silent prayer and ask". 

Gintoki was quiet for a moment, his thoughts unreadable to this old woman. The chances of her being phsycic were slim. And, for the shortest time, there was only silence. Hesitantly, the old woman, pushed the small plate of dumplings across the snow and towards Gintoki. He took the plate, not hesitating whatsover to satisfy his stomach of starvation. Desperate, he munched down the first dumpling with seconds to spare. Not that he kept track of timing, of course. 

"So, what did my husband say?" The old lady asked, awaiting the response. 

Gintoki held a serious expression as he ate, not swallowing his food before answering. 

"Sorry, but the dead don't talk, Grandma". Gintoki responded, his mouth partially full. 

"Haah...You're gonna get cursed for that". 

Gintoki swallowed, his mind and stomach at ease. This lady was kind enough to hand over her husband's offerings. He hadn't been shown such kindess in a long time, and Gintoki knew when to return the favour. But, for now, this old hag would have to be stuck with an I.O.U. 

"He couldn't talk, so I made a one-sided promise to him. I said; "Old man, you're old lady's already got one foot in the ground and isn't too far from joining you elsewhere. So, with whatever time she's got left, I'll protect her in your place". Granny, I don't believe in curses, just bad luck and the bastards who force that bad luck upon you. Just like you, I haven't really got much to lose anymore. So, if you want, you can have a good-for-nothing like me watch your back, alright? You can speak on your husband's behalf, can't you?" 

There was a moment of silence, the sounds of shifted within the snow. Gintoki stayed put, but just for another moment. 

"Get on up, kid. Lemme take a look at you. Can you stand?" 

Gintoki didn't respond with words, but simply put aside the plate of dumplings before struggling to his feet. If it was for this nice old lady, he could build up just a little more strength. He turned around, stepping away from the grave to face her. The first thing Gintoki thought upon seeing her was; "Who's she trying to impress? Her dead husband?" That's what he thought, seeing that she was wearing a fair bit of make-up and a yukata. Well, he had that thought, and didn't expect a retort to come out loud and clear from the old hag. 

"Oh, for the love of pete. Kid, you're a real mess. If you were my kid, I'd be embarrassed that he became such a useless bum". 

Okay, she wasn't as nice as he originally thought. 

"Oi, you think I made the choise to end up this way?" 

"We all make choices, kid. I know it's none of my business, but it looks to me like you made a few wrong ones". 

"You're not totally incorrect, I suppose". 

"...Come on, you can stay with me until you get back on your feet. Need a hand to walk?" 

"N-nah, I got it. Just-...?!" 

Gintoki stumbled, the mistake soon leading to the discovery that this old lady had some decent reflexes, and a weak back. 

"Oof, god, you're heavy. Well, help me help you and we should be okay. This lady's too old to be lugging around youngsters like yourself". 

"Sure, fine. So, what can I call you, Grandma?" 

"Just...Just call me Otose". 

"Granny it is". 

"And you, perm head?" 

"Gintoki...Gintoki Sakata". 

"Well, nice to meet you, Gintoki. The second we reach my home, you're takin' a bath". 

"No arguments here, Granny". 

They carried eachother out of the graveyard, taking slow steps due to eachother's great lack of energy at this time. They didn't turn back, leaving what was left of those dumplings on the snow-covered stone slab of the grave. It was then that this one-sided promise was carved into Gintoki's conscience, something he would never forget or break-even if he wanted to. This was how it begun. This was how things took their course and made history for both Gintoki and Otose. Away from the snow and the cold, they settled into the warmth of her home and developed a bond that Gintoki was deprived of for too long. It was a feeling, a situation, that he had found himself in before. It didn't feel any different, somehow. Maybe that wasn't such a bad thing, to feel like this again towards a total stranger. Thinking that, Gintoki wasn't so cold anymore. The pain faded into a sensation of ease and trust, again. 

... 

As soon as they entered this small house, the room above dark on the inside from, what the old hag called it, "neglect". Apparently the upstairs had been abandoned since they moved in-too much space for her and her husband, as she later explained. At first, they entered this small bar that, of course, peaked Gintoki's interest. He couldn't remember the last time he had a good drink. Now was not the time, though. What he focused on, what he couldn't stop focusing on, was his exhaustion and the chill that ran through his body still. Otose went on into the backroom first, inviting Gintoki in further casually. 

"You can use the bathroom to wash that stink off of yourself. I'll see if any of my husband's old clothes would fit you. You look like you're his size". 

Gintoki followed Otose into the back room as she spoke, his eyes shifting to every corner and furniture piece around, although there clearly wasn't much. The decor was simple, japanese-styled. Small, cosy, dry, warm, basically the simple neccesities of any home. Gintoki felt no need to be withdrawn or nervous, since the old hag did invite him. She was trusting of him, which would be surprising-if not shocking-to most people. An old lady like her taking in a strange young man like him? To be fair, he made a pretty sincere promise. And he wasn't intending to break that promise anytime soon. 

"Hey, Granny, I'm not sure if I wanna dress in some old guy's yukata". 

"For you're information, my husband died at a young age. He was thirty-one and had a lot left to do in his life. And he was quite stylish, I'll have you know". 

"Haah, alright. Well, excuse me for just assuming. So, what, you've been on your own this whole time? Why not get hitched again? If you were still young, you coulda moved on". 

Otose laughed softly at that, hesitating by the open drawers in her living area, which contained a variety of clothes. Gintoki found it unusual for her to laugh about that, but then found out why it sounded so funny to her. 

"The only way you can say that so easily is because you don't understand love, Gintoki. Between me and Tatsugorou, it was real love. Not that rom-com crap you see these days. I could never move on as easily as you think. He was just...too special to me". 

"...Is that right? Well, I don't understand love. And I don't plan to. Getting attatched to people isn't my thing, you can be sure of that". 

"Hmph, I know someone who was like that. He was a good friend of mine, and a very good friend to my husband. I don't know what he's doing now, but I heard he had a daughter quite a few years ago. Shows how well some men keep their word when they try to act tough". 

Otose pulled out an ocean-blue sweater and a pair of jeans from the set of drawers nestled among the rest of the furniture. She held them out in front of Gintoki, checking the size at a random estimate before giving herself a brief nod. She folded the clothes over her arm, handing them straight to Gintoki. 

"Bathroom's just down the small hallway there, first to your left". She pointed to the room exactly, taking out a small cigarette carton from under her yukata's sleeve. "There's some spare towels in there, too". 

"Uh, thanks, Granny. I'll be sure to hurry, just in case you need to go to the bathroom for the eightieth time". 

"Good to know you're capable of having such a rude sense of humor in a stranger's home. I'll keep that for references for when you move out, or when I kick you out". 

Gintoki rolled his eyes as he walked towards the bathroom. The old lady wasn't too bad when it came to sharp comebacks. She didn't take it too seriously and was quite effective in ending the retorts. This Granny was alright. If Gintoki could handle the scent of old soap and weird incense, he could handle anything. It wasn't a terrible place to end up, more unexpected than anything else. He thought for a moment that he wouldn't last, sitting behind that grave in the snow. But here he was, thinking that maybe he had someone up there who was on his side after all this shit. Took 'em long enough. 

... 

Gintoki could vaguely remember the last time he wore clean clothes that didn't shackle him for about a year. His hair was still dripping from when he washed up, puffy and a mess. It didn't look that different from when he was a teenager. At least when he was a kid there was someone to cut it. Running his fingers through his damp hair, Gintoki let out a sigh, looking over the clothes he had put on through the mirror. Not too bad. It was fitting, at least. Comfortable and warm, too. Much better than what he had on prior to this. Gintoki, walking towards the door, dumped his old stuff in the laundry basket, like the old hag had told him to do through the door. He had spent at least half an hour in the house with her and he already felt like her kid or something. That definitely wasn't the case, he just hever thought he would already get bossed around. Although, this kinda thing was mandatory, anyway. At least, in the different homes he's lived in, it was compulsory to clean up after yourself. 

Gintoki stepped out of the bathroom, a light fog drifting out from the inside. As soon as he stepped out, a pleasant smell drifted his way. Gintoki, curious and still hungry, peered down the hallway to see Otose tend to, what appeared to be, a cooking pot and a skillet. His curiosity led him further out from the small hallway and into the main room. The pleasant smell grew as he approuched. 

"Did ya leave your clothes in the basket?" Was the first phrase to come from Otose without having to turn her back. 

"Yeah, I did". Gintoki replied, taking a seat on one of the stools by the counter top. 

"Good. At least you're not forgetful or lazy". 

"Heh, that's funny, I used to get jabbed in the legs or ribs whenever I was lazy". 

"Whoever did that had the right idea. There's no room in the world for lazy bums-especially in a hard-working society, if you disclude this district". 

"Why'd you say that?" 

"Agh, these days, it's full of useless old men who spend their day and their money in pachinko parlors, bars or brothels. Or if you're weird like that, a few stop by at the only okama club in the district. Bunch of weirdos if ya ask me". 

This old lady could talk. Not such a nice person, it seemed. More straight-forward and brutally honest about the weirdos that apparently roamed around the red light district. She sighed, continuing on. 

"I remember when my husband was still around, things were better. He was considered a cop around here, a hero, if you'd like. He worked hard and did it with a smile". 

"Sounds like quite the guy. I assume he was a gentleman as well". 

"You bet your ass he was". 

"Handsome...?" 

"Absolutely. There are still photographs of him on the walls over there". 

Otose pointed to a particular wall to their left. Gintoki's eyes shifted to that wall, seeing the few pictures hung up or displayed there. Narrowing his eyes, from that distance, he could just make out the faces in those pictures. They depicted a young couple, mostly. There was another man in a few pictures, but Gintoki could assume that the guy in most of them was the old lady's husband. He sure was a handsome fellow. 

"Not bad. A handsome, gentlemanly cop. How much more could a lady like you want?" 

"You got that right. Most men couldn't compare to Tatsugorou. He was smart, funny and spent many good years together with me". 

"So, what happened?" 

Otose paused in the middle of cooking, it was visible in her standing once that question left Gintoki's lips. She turned to him, her expression quite puzzling to Gintoki. It wasn't a sad or angry expression for his curiosity or his unneeded desire to pry into her business. She looked quite suspicious of him, actually. 

"You're quite curious, aren't ya?" 

"Is that a problem? I haven't really spoken to anyone for a long time. This is the first time in...quite a while. I'm curious, and you don't look like you've had much company either. Although, I guess I can understand if ya don't wanna open up. I'm a stranger, after all, and...ya barely know me, so...". 

Gintoki scratched the back of his head awkwardly, shifting his gaze elsewhere. Otose turned back to what she was cooking, the silence already ending the conversation. It was neccesary to put a full stop on the whole thing. Gintoki withdrew himself from prying too much, knowing he wouldn't want to be bombarded with questions-especially since he was found in quite the conspicious situation. 

"Food's ready. It's nothing special; just fish, miso soup and...". Otose opened up the rice cooker hidden in the shadows under the top shelves. "...some rice. Though, I doubt, given your situation, you're not very picky". 

"Not really. But I do like sweet things best". 

"I'll keep that in mind". 

It was a simple dish, but Gintoki wouldn't complain. He was hungry and tired. Anything would have been fine, just as long as he could eat proper meals again. 

"Thanks for the food, Granny". He said thanks once the meal was served, separating the pair of chopsticks provided before digging in. 

Otose took out a cigarette carton from under her sleeve, taking one out and lighting it between her lips. She leaned back against the counter, taking the first drag. 

"I guess I'll set up a spare futon for you". She said, holding the cigarette between her boney fingers as a pall of smoke drifted and dispersed into the air. "You okay with sleeping out here?" 

"Wait...I can stay?" 

"Well, for the night, unless you have somewhere to go. Is there anyone I can call, or is there anywhere you can go?" 

"...No, not anymore". 

"I see. Hmm...I'll figure something out. Not sure if I can have a young man living under my roof. But, until you're fit enough, you can stay. For however long that may be, I'll set up some ground rules tomorrow. For now, eat up and get some rest. I'm sure you'll need it". 

Gintoki had a serious expression on his face at those words. He hesitated to speak for a moment, holding the chopsticks loosely in his fingers as he built up the courage to say the right words. It felt odd to him, having these words on the tip of his tongue when there were so many other occassions when he could have said them, to someone else perhaps. 

"...You know, I've never been able to say these words to anyone while the moment was right in front of me, but...". 

"...?" 

"...Thanks, Granny". 

Gintoki looked to Otose, a smile curving on his lips as if he hadn't smiled for years, his eyes tired and his complexion still pale. It surprised Otose for a moment, like it was an unusual sight to see. She barely knew this guy and didn't ask many questions before letting him into her home. He could have been anyone. However, although it sounded ridiculous, Otose felt some trust in that smile and thank you. She relaxed a little, taking another drag from her cigarette. 

"No problem, kiddo. Now, eat up before it gets cold". 

"Roger that".

He seemed to be okay. Trust was a thin line between two people and was so fragile, so breakable. Otose did feel hesitant, naturally, but Gintoki didn't seem too bad at all. He seemed just like a kid who lost his way a while back and had nothing left to lose. There was something about him that Otose could feel comfortable around, to some extent. It was almost as if he reminded her of...her husband, honestly. It wasn't possible for them to be related in anyway. She figured that much, knowing where her husband came from and such. Gintoki just had a certain air around him that seemed so familiar, yet she knew nearly nothing about him. It was truely odd. 

... 

Gintoki couldn't complain, lying there under an old futon blanket with the lights turned out in all directions. It smelled funky, like dust and soap. It probably hadn't been used in years. Despite the smell, lying on his side as comfortably as he could manage, Gintoki pulled the covers up more to hide away from the chill that lingered in the air. He was tired, but awake. The soft tapping of hail and snow hit the windows repeatedly through those few moments that Gintoki was awake to hear it. He curled up under the thick blanket, relieved to be inside and not still out there. He was grateful to that old woman, in her debt-as promised. Gintoki wasn't one to make promises and keep them unless they really mattered or were doable. Otose was the first person that he was actually in debt to. He had to protect her, as he swore in that cemetary. He had something to protect again. Gintoki's eyelids grew heavy as he thought about it more and more. Eventually, his eyes closed and he drifted off quicker than he had expected to. Of course, he was quite exhausted. Sleep was the first step. After that, who knew what came next. If he was really going to stay with Otose a little while longer, might as well get well again in order to repay his debt properly. He promised, after all. 

... 

It was chilly. Not as bad as the night before, but the morning draft that entered the house out of nowhere was what kept Gintoki grounded to the futon in sleep, for just a little while longer. The smell of cigarette smoke was what brought out a groan from him. The musty, gross smellwas what brought him back to consciousness. However, he stayed put. 

"Rise and shine, kiddo. We've got a long day to get through today, and I need your full attention. You getting up?" 

"Mnng...Five more minutes, Zura". Gintoki groaned unconsciously, puzzling the old hag. Zura? 

"Oi, get up, kid". Otose tapped her foot against Gintoki's rear to get him up. He groaned again, curling uo under the futon. 

Otose rolled her eyes. She could understand if he was still exhausted, but he needed to get his energy back using other methods. She jabbed him again. 

"Mng! Takasugi-kun, quit it. I'll...kick your ass". 

"Who the hell are you talking about, Gintoki? It's Otose, your new landlady. Get up". 

One last jab to Gintoki's rear snapped his senses back into action. He sat up, a little too quickly as he immediatly hissed in pain. He groaned, feeling light-headedand a little dizzy. 

"Ugh, Granny, you're so mean. Alright, alright, I'm up and you're my new...Wait...". Gintoki raised his head, looking up at Otose with a questioning stare. "Landlady...?" 

... 

While sitting down to a simple breakfast, Otose explained her ideas to Gintoki. Since he had nowhere to go, no family, that she knew of, or any contacts she figured that he would have to stick around until he got back on his feet. His situation wasn't explained in thorough detail, but from his clothes and his condition she assumed that he needed the help. Otose wasn't one to just simply take in people who were in dire need of hospitality and care. Gintoki was different, in quite a few ways. He made a promise to her husband, after all. He couldn't break that-and he knew this. So, while he was there he might as well get back a normal life, or whatever kind of life he had before all of this. 

"If you're gonna be staying here for a while, we'll need to make an effort to give you somehing normal. For one, we'll need to get you back into good health. Being out in the cold like that in such a condition could have made you sick. We'll see a doctor about that. Next, we'll have to get you some of your own stuff; clothes, a razor, and so on. You'll have to get a job so you can pay rent, because I'm not having a useless freeloader staying under my roof, you got that?" 

"Wow, Granny, you're strict. But, fine. I'll get a job and get well so that I'll be outta your hair quicker. I don't really plan on staying too long anyway". 

"Good to know. Also, we are doing something about that hair". Otose reached out from the other end of the counter, running her boney fingers through Gintoki's mop. "It's dry, but it's still all puffed up. What's with that?" 

"I, er, was born with naturally wavy hair". 

"Hah? That's probably one of the weirdest things that's ever come outta a sober guy's mouth. Haa...Well, I could still cut it for you. We can do it this morning and then we can go shopping, if you're up for it. I need groceries anyway, and you look like you can carry heavy bags". 

"Sure...God, never thought I'd be helping an old lady with groceries". 

"It's for you, too. We'll buy some things that you'll need, if you're going to be staying here for a while". 

"I won't get in your way for too long, Granny. While I'm here, I guess I'll come up with a plan on where I can go next".

"Do you have anywhere in mind?" 

"Not really. I'll figure somethin' out, though". 

Gintoki really had nowhere to go, but he didn't want to be dependant on Otose-he didn't want to be dependant on anyone. When he was well enough, he planned to go wherever he could. Although, he did make a promise that involved sticking around. Agh, he'd only get headache if he started over-thinking it. The best thing to focus on was gaining his strength again. Then he had time to figure out where to go from there. 

It was after getting changed into another set of Tatsugorou's clothes, for the time being, that Otose sat Gintoki down on the floor, a sheet placed underneath him, and in front of a standing mirror. She had picked out a comb, a pair of scissors and a spray bottle filled with water. Guess she really was going to cut his hair. Gintoki knew it wouldn't change much, aside from the length. It was a curse to have naturally wavy hair. No wonder he was stuck with more girls who were friends rather than having many girlfriends in high school. A towel was draped over Gintoki's back, and he stayed put like the old lady told him to. 

"Try to stay as still as possible so I can cut your hair properly. Wouldn't want it to be too short". 

"Say, Granny, have you done this kinda thing before?" 

"I used to cut my husband's hair. I always said that he could go to a barbershop, and he always said he prefered to have me cut his hair. I wasn't perfect, obviously. But you practice these things over a long period of time and it becomes a useless skill. I only ever trimmed Tatsugorou's hair, so I've never been able to work with much. Your hair doesn't look too different, I just wish it wasn't such an obnoxious shade of silver. I'm goin' blind here". 

"You think I like having this hair?! Hell no! Obviously one of my folk's with this gene got lucky and found someone to tolerate such "an obnoxious shade of silver". Hmph! If it were up to me, I'd have straight brunnete, black-or even red hair-like anyone else". 

It was the first time Gintoki had mentioned his parents in any way to Otose. She never considered it to be a topic that he would share out of the blue, despite it's context. The question was on the tip of her tongue as she sprayed water across Gintoki's silver locks, taking the scissors and carefully running her fingers across some of the longer strands in order to cut them evenly. Gintoki had asked questions about her, although he retracted it upon realising that he was prying. It wasn't like she could say "it couldn't hurt to ask". It probably would strike a nerve or two, since she barely knew this man or where he came from. So, wisely, she put aside and thought of a different question to satisfy the urge to strike up a conversation while it was still on her mind. 

"Has your hair always been like this? Messy and cut down to the nape of your neck, I mean". Otose asked, beginning to trim down a few strands. 

"Not always. I used to get it cut when I was a kid, but...that stopped happening when I became a teenager, and it just grew out a little more". 

"I see. I remember when I was a little girl, I wanted to have long hair but the old bat known as my mother wouldn't let me. She wanted me to keep it short until she claimed I was old enough to do whatever the hell I wanted. So, I grew it out when I left the nest. Despite that, I gained quite the habit of keeping pins in my hair to tie it up and keep it neat". 

"Guess you know what they say; no matter what, a young lady will always end up like her mother". 

"Hah, believe me, I tried so hard to not be like my mother that I ended up like my father. That wasn't much better". 

"What, is he bossy and picky with other's hair-styles? No wait, that sounds like your mother-ow!" 

Gintoki felt a dull slap across his head at that cheeky comment. Still, he smiled. And, surprisingly enough, the old hag cracked a smile too. 

"Shut it, perm head. You wouldn't wanna get cut by mistake, do you?" 

"No thanks. I'll be quiet". 

"Good boy".

Hairs drifted down to the floor below, swaying in the air like cherry blossoms in summer. The silence, aside from the quiet clicking of scissor blades, left quite the atmoshpere drifting around. Gintoki fidgeted slightly, the hairs that had been cut off tickling the back of his neck. Otose brushed them off with her hand. 

"Quit fidgeting. If it bothers you, you'll just have to endure it for a little while". 

"Fuuu...Fine". Gintoki grumbled, biting his tongue as his neck and back continued to tingle with each fallen hair. 

His hair did begin to feel lighter as the minutes passed by. Silvers hairs scattered across the sheet that had been laid out underneath him, clearly to make clean-up an easier task. There were a few more pauses from Otose as she worked her way around Gintoki's naturally wavy hair. It was obvious now that she had done this more than once, and had gotten quite used to it-what with cutting her husband's hair when he was still around. Eventually, there emitted a dull clack on the wooden floorboards once Otose had set down the pair of scissors. She brushed off some cut off hairs from Gintoki's back and neck, swiping the towel away and sending a cold breeze up his spine. He barely reacted.

"Alright, you're done. Have a look". 

Gintoki looked into the standing mirror in front of him, turning his head left and right. It didn't look as messy, although nothing about his natural perm had changed. It felt more refreshing than when it was puffy, from when he was a teenager. 

"Woah, not bad, Granny. You could make a living off of this, if ya wanted to". 

"Oh, no. I already have two workplaces, thank you very much. When you're ready, we should head out and get some things for the house, and for you. I know you'd be a big help. You up for it?" 

"Sure thing. Although I hate clothes shopping". 

"Mm, I thought as much. Alright, I guess I'll help you out. Get up, then. Since it's cold out, you can borrow one of our old coats. It's clean, although it hasn't been worn in years". 

"Well, the sooner I buy my own clothes, the better. I haven't changed my pantsu in two days". 

"I didn't need to know that...at all".

With a sigh, Otose stood to her feet. Gintoki lingered in front of the mirror a little longer, running his fingers through the back of his hair. It wasn't a bad job, and at least looked a little neater than what it was. Other than that, he still had the appearance of a bed-head...forever. Brushing off the last strands, Gintoki also got up to his feet. 

"Oi, clean up that sheet, if ya don't mind. Just roll it up so that it doesn't get on the floor". 

"Alright, Granny. Should I just dump it in the laundry". 

"Yep. That's right. And get ready, we'll be leaving soon. Wouldn't want the place to get too crowded while we're there". 

Gintoki sighed. Otose wasn't messing around. She really expected Gintoki to pull his weight, whether the task was big or small. So far, he didn't mind. Despite how lazy he actually was, he could at least understand the circumstances and that he pretty much owed this old lady his life. Doing little things to make her day easier was no big deal. She did mention a job before, which was not a problem either. But, what kind of job did she have in mind? That was probably for Gintoki to figure out. He put it aside for now, dusting off his cut off hairs into the trash before dumping the sheet into the laundry basket by the bathroom. It had been a while since Gintoki worked, and he still had to wait until he was well enough. Even then he felt a little weak at the knees or feverish in his cheeks and head. Maybe he was getting a cold. No use complaining about it now. It would only burden the old hag. Heh, it felt like his lodging in her house was a burden to her. Still, it must have been nice to have someone around, someone to talk to and share stories with. Gintoki was just assuming this because, well, he felt the exact same way. Secretly, of course. He didn't want to start blushing about such a stupid thing, if it was actually stupid at all.

... 

It was still cold out. Snow covered the lanes that made up the Kabuki district, almost painting the scene a blinding white. Snow drops continued to drift slowly within the atmosphere, carried by the breeze. Gintoki stuffed his hands into his coats pockets, hiding his face in the scarf that Otose had provided. She figured that he must have been sick, or at least catching a cold. That's why she added medicine to her list. She was the one to walk a little ahead, Gintoki being the one to follow as she looked around the market for groceries. Every now and then they stopped to pick some food items up from stalls or to enter a few stores for a few moments, especially clothing stores for Gintoki. He just tagged along, taking the heavier bags as they went. While in a particular store, a convenience store to be exact, Gintoki felt a cough coming on. He accidentally let it out, his throat itchy. It was forced out behind his scarf, a sniffle to swiftly follow. Obviously this caught Otose's attention. No surprise, the whole store would have heard it. 

"Sounds like you've got a cold coming on. You okay over there?" 

"I'm fine. It's not a cold". Gintoki lied. "It's just the dusty smell from these clothes, it's making my eyes water". 

"Uh-huh. I washed that coat recently, so I have no idea how it's collecting dust. When we get back to the house, I'll give you some medicine and a cup of soup. That should help". 

"Really, Granny, I'm fine. No need to worry". 

"Hah, I'm not worrying, kid. I'm preventing my own early grave. You think I wanna catch your cold? I'm a tough cookie, but you never know". 

"Glad to hear that you're thinking about me". His sarcastic retort brought out a smile in Otose. She laughed softly, patting Gintoki's back, as if in pity of him. 

"You'll be okay. You just need more rest, and something to get your blood sugar up. You're still pale". 

"Granny, there really is no need-...". 

Gintoki stopped himself when Otose traversed into the sweets aisle of the store. She picked up a carton of, what appeared to be, strawberry flavoured Pocky. She returned to him, placing the item in the shopping basket. 

"You said you liked sweet things, right? Something like this should help bring back the colour in your cheeks. Hm? Oi, what's with that look? It's weird". 

Gintoki smiled gratefully at Otose, looking like he was on the verge of tears. It would have been funny if Otose wasn't a little freaked out by it. 

"Thank you, Granny...Thank you~!" He really was on the verge of tears-over sweets!

"Are you an idiot or something? Haa, whatever. Let's just pay for these and getting going. Your nose is starting to get all runny". 

That convenience store was the last place for them to vist before heading back to the house. Not a long trip back, considering the area, but the distance seemed to drag on for Gintoki. He was tired and cold, but made the effort not to show it as he carried the bags he was given. It seemed odd, though. Otose was carrying bags, too. The grocery bags. Gintoki's were lighter than he expected, but eoon realised that he was the one carrying his clothing bags. He sighed, his breath frosted and visible. And he was suppose to carry the heavy ones, said the old lady not too long ago. Gintoki said nothing, a feeling that she would deny any concern for him stirring at the back of Gintoki's mind. As they approuched the front of the snack house, Otose made a swift turn towards the opposite end of the lane. 

"Granny, where are you off to? The house is here". 

"I'm just gonna buy some cigarettes. I gave you the key for a reason, dummy. Use it". 

Gintoki sighed, placing down his share of the bags onto the ground by his feet. Reaching into the coat's pocket, he pulled out the key. He wondered why she trusted him with it, which she shouldn't have done in the first place. Not that Gintoki would lose it or that he would use it for anything wrong. He just thought that she was a little too trusting of him, in case those reasons would become reality. Still, he unlocked the door and brought his bags inside the snack house, towards the back room. Meanwhile, Otose approuched the cigarette stall, setting down the grocery bags to take out her purse. The old woman behind the stall expressed a look of suspicion towards Otose and the strange young man that had just entered her home. Although she noticed this look, Otose said nothing about it. 

"The usual, please, Nao". 

"Sure...Otose. Say, who was that young gentlman who just waltz into your snack house?" 

"Don't start getting any crazy ideas. He's just a kid who I'm helping out. In exchange, he's helping me by shopping and eventually he'll be paying rent. I don't have the money to keep him unless he can pay for his share". 

"You sound rather harsh, but strapping young men will have that effect on you. I remember when you started seeing Tatsugorou, and you-". 

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're not discussing it. Now, do you mind giving me my cigarettes? Pretty please". 

The old woman behind the stall paused for a moment before exchanging the carton for the money in Otose's hand. 

"Thanks...". Otose muttered, closing her purse and picking up the grocery bags once more. 

"You know, Otose, I never thought you'd let another person in your life-never mind a young man. Introduce me to him sometime, will ya?" 

"No thanks. He doesn't need you yapping in his ear all night. And, as I said, he's just a kid who owes me rent. Nothing else". 

"I wouldn't think that he was anything else. Not even a friend". 

"Whatever. See ya, Nao". 

Otose walked off, back towards the snack house with a clear head. She didn't need to be thinking about such things. A friend? Tch, Otose hadn't been around a real friend in years. And she wasn't planning on making anymore at her age. Gintoki really was just a freeloader, for now. The moment he got a job and the moment he would get paid, it would go right into Otose's pocket. She didn't plan to charge too much from him, since he needed to save up for when he would inevitably move out. Nothing more to it. That was final. 

Entering the back room of the snack house, Otose spotted Gintoki sitting at the table with his head buried in his crossed arms. Putting down the bags in the kitchen, she approuched him and kneeled beside him. Gently, she shook him to gain his attention. 

"Hey, Gintoki, you okay? You're awfully quiet". 

"Mng...My head hurts. But it's nothing. I'll be fine if I sleep on it". 

Otose reached out, resting her knuckles on Gintok's head to feel his temperature. He was burning up. 

"It can't be helped. I'll sort out some medicine for you, and then you can sleep. You hungry or anything?" 

"Nah...Excpet maybe for that Pocky. I could really do with something sweet". 

"You sound like a kid. Haa, just stay put and I'll fix something up. It would be better if you ate something, especially if you're about to take medication". 

Otose stood up, heading to the kitchen to put the groceries away before she could make a soup or something for Gintoki. She paused for a second, upon hearing Gintoki utter a few words that left her speechless. 

"...Thanks, Granny".

That sounded like defeat to her. He was sick, clearly. He wasn't fine, and he needed some help. Of course, a guy like him wouldn't use that wording, so a simple thank you was the toughest sign of defeat that Gintoki could expose with his face hidden and his volume reduced to a mere mumble. This was a nice change. A good chnage of pace had entered both their lives, something different but quite odd and unfamiliar to them both. Gintoki had never been in a situation before where he needed help or care, and Otose hadn't given such care to anyone for years. She had always been more of a private person since her husband passed away, since her best friend left for good-from the face of the earth. There was also someone else, but he hadn't been seen for quite a few years. It was a lonely life, and Otose thought for the longest time that it didn't bother her. But now that there was someone to stick around and cause her trouble, it gave her an excuse to just get up and go-to help and do what she could for a guy like Gintoki. He wouldn't spend all of his time around Otose. Once he was healthy, he would surely leave and things would go back to normal. That wasn't such a bad thing, but it wasn't great either-for them both, actually. But neither came out and said it. The unspoken words drifted around their heads like the snowfall. It would simply drift without receiving any attention before it hit the ground and joined the rest of the unspoken words. If anything were to be said right now, to Gintoki, then there was only one thing that passed from Otose's thought and became words. 

"No problem, kiddo". 

... 

... 

It had been a few days since Gintoki began his stay with Otose. He gained a healthier complexion and was capable of handling any chore that Otose gave him. During the day, Otose would leave for her first job-which was still unkown to Gintoki-while he stayed and did chores that he had practiced whenever he had the chance. A lot of the time he would sit in front of the T.V, with Otose's permission, and watch the weather reports that he had become so fascinated with. Apparently there was a junior weather reporter just starting and Gintoki had fallen for her pretty looks right away. Something that Otose would often roll her eyes about. During the evenings, Otose would run the snack house where men would go to drink and drone on about their problems. Sometimes, if he wasn't already asleep, Gintoki would stop by for a drink or two. He wouldn't get drunk or anything, but said he needed to let off some steam and ease some tension that had been on his mind. He never discussed it, and Otose never asked about it. It was in those few days that the two would often have the odd conversation or tell odd stories. It was mostly Otose talking about her husband and her old jobs. Whereas Gintoki barely spoke about himself. It was as if not much had really happened in his life up until this point. Either that or a lot happened and he simply didn't wish to share it. It was reasonable. There were things Otose would hold back, too. 

It was during a particular night, at dinner, that this wall between them started to show cracks. And it all started with a question that had been bugging Gintoki for a while. He didn't know when he could ask about it, but at some point it seemed like he just wanted to get it out of the way and out of his head. Even if it did seem a little insensitive, he couldn't stand having the same questions repeat in his head over and over. So, while he assisted Otose in making curry rice-sweet curry rice-for dinner, he decided: "fuck it. I'll just ask and apologies later". 

"Hey, old hag, I've been wondering for a while now...". 

"Hm...?" It was a simple response, one that showed how unaware she was on the question circling Gintoki's thoughts. 

"Did, uh...Did you and your husband ever...ya know, have any kids? It's been bugging me for a while, since I've noticed that there are only pictures of you and the old guy-uh, young-ish guy...". 

"...You really wanna know?" Otose asked. Again, she didn't sound angry or upset. She sounded more indifferent. 

"You don't have to tell me. I was just curious". 

"As all youngsters are. Well, if you must know, we never had any". 

"How come?" 

"It just...never happened. It's not like we didn't consider it or that we didn't want any. We had discussed it once and we later found out that it couldn't happen for us. That's all there is to it, really". 

"Haah, how did I know this was gonna be a sensitive subject?" 

"It's not. Don't worry about it. Besides, you're already the biggest kid I'm ever gonna have in my life". 

"Oh, gee, thanks, Grandma. I feel so happy, being such an endearing part of your life". Sarcasm, again. These two were like two peas in a pod, when you get right down to it. 

"Oh, come on. I'm kidding, and you know it. Although, I can't quite see you as being an adult. When are you gonna get a job? You owe me rent, starting this month".

"Wha-...Seriously?!" 

"Yep. If you get used to lying around after just chores, that's how you'll live the rest of your life. It's hard keeping two people under one roof if the other doesn't pay rent. And you shouldn't complain. Tatsugorou did chores, worked and paid his half of the rent on time, so why can't you?" 

"What, did you work him to death-ah! Oww!" 

Gintoki received a sharp slap to the back of his head, quietly apologising for his rude joke. 

"If it's hard for you to find a job, I'll find a placement for you elsewhere. Wherever I place you, it'll be good for you-financially". 

"Agh, fine. But can't I just work with you at the snack house?" 

"Then you wouldn't be receiving any pay, you'd be working off your rent but not making anything to help you move out one day. That's what you wanted to do eventually, right?" 

"...I suppose". Gintok's pause seemed a little off, the tone of his voice turning Otose's head towards him. But, as soon as she did, his mood snapped back. "Look, I'll take whatever job you get me if it's not the snack house. Just as long as I get a break ome in a while and as long as the pay is decent". 

"You'll take any job?" 

"Anything. I hate being in debt to people, even though I can barely afford my own sweets because now I have to pay rent. Aagh, such a pain in the ass!" 

"Hm, you'll get used to it, kiddo. I'll find you a job. Although I'm not sure if you'll like it". 

"Eh...?" 

"Hm? Oh, nothing. Keep an eye on that curry sauce. If it burns, you're re-doing it".

Otose turned her back to Gintoki, taking out the rice from it's cooker once the timer went off. Gintoki narrowed his eyes in suspicion for a second, right before he returned to his task. What did she mean? He wouldn't like it? It wouldn't surprise him if most people hated their job, but the way Otose put it sounded rather suspicious. He wanted to leave it to his imagination, but it was such a pain in the ass to even fret over such things. A job was a job. Money was money. End of story. No matter what it was, Gintoki believed that he could endure it for however long he needed to, unless he had to become a male stripper or something. Honestly, how bad could it be? 

... 

The very next morning, after picking up some odd items at the convenience store, Gintoki walked into the house casually. He took off his shoes and wandered in with the plastic bag in hand. 

"Granny, I'm back. I got all the stuff you asked for, and some Pocky. Hope you don't mind-...". 

Gintoki paused abruptly, seeing the scene before him in the main room. And it left him extremely puzzled. Otose was in the room, kneeling in front of the table with a guest...of some sort. The silence droned on as Gintoki tried to figure out what the hell was going on. This guest, whoever they were...From the clothes and the hair, you would assume that it was one of Otose's acquaintances, but from the growing beard and the build of this person, Gintoki could only assume that he was faced with some kind of monster. He was frozen stiff, unable to utter a word. 

"Welcome back, Gintoki". Otose greeted him casually, smoking her cigarette. "I think I've found a job for you". 

"E-eh...?" That was the only thing Gintoki could utter under such circumstances. 

"This is Tokumori Saigou, the owner of the only okama club in the district. I told him-uh...her, that you were looking for a job". 

"Eh...?" Still no words. That didn't help much. 

"So this is Gintoki Sakata. Hm, she's cute. I think I'll call her Paako". 

"Don't just categorise me as one of your own without permision!" Hearing his identity automatically being changed to that of an okama immediatly brought Gintoki back to his senses. "And who are you callin' a "she"?! I'm a man-a straight, ordinary man!" 

"I wouldn't exactly call you "ordinary"...". Otose stated casually, continuing to smoke without a care. 

"Shut it, old hag! I will not be dressed in women's clothing and I will not drink with creepy uncles!" 

"How do you know what the job entails?" Otose asked, truely puzzled by that. 

"You hear things all over this district. I'm not that desperate for money". 

"Yes you are. You've gotta pay rent somehow, Gintoki". 

"Ah, gimme a break, Granny~!"

"Nope, not this time. A job is a job, you even stated this yourself, didn't you? Saigou, he's all yours". 

"Wha-but...but-...?!" 

Gintoki flinched, being approuched by Saigou, this...drag queen beast. He-or she-looked over Gintoki, as if studying him. This was when Gintoki's natural perm came in handy-the only time. It wasn't attractive, it put people off. He knee this for years and he hoped to God, Zues, Buddha and any other holy figure out there that he wasn't what the okama's were looking for. Saigou turned Gintoki's around, checking his back. A great amount of discomfort overwhelmed Gintoki as he had an idea about what Saigou was checking exactly. How many first meetings turn out like this?! 

"She's beautiful. I think we've found a young hostess for the club". 

"Eh?! Woah! Woah, woah, woah! Don't I get a say in this?!" Gintoki swiftly turned around to face them both, a look of utter desperation across his features. 

"You did. I thought you didn't care what the job was, as long as it paid". 

"Well, it'll have to be anything but this!" 

"Come on, Paako. I know we can work well together". 

"No freakin' way! The answer is no! No, no, no, no, no! N.O. No!" 

... 

"Paako, could you serve table five, please? Thanks, sweetie". 

He said no. Yet how did it end up like...this? 

"Sure...Be right there". 

Gintoki had never been so uncomfortable in his entire life, or as humiliated as this. It was just so indecent and...wrong of him to be in such a place, wearing such clothes. Speaking of which, for his "uniform" Gintoki was made to wear a silky, hot pink chinese-styled dress that cut down to his ankles-thank god. There was that and extension twintails that matched his naturally wavy hair perfectly. Too perfectly...And he didn't know how to feel about the fake breasts under a size D bra. It was truely horrific for him to end up in such a position, but somewhere along the line he caved in and took the job. He could barely remember how he gave up trying to protest in the first place. 

"Paako, you're doing such a good job". Said one of the other okama, who also waited on tables. "If you keep it up, I'll talk to Mama about raising your pay". 

Alright, that's why he took the job without shame or without a second thought. The money. He knew he hadn't changed when it came to expenditures, since he had only just started getting into pachinko. He was only twenty-three and he already felt like an old man who spent too much time in front of a gambling machine. His late twenties weren't too far away, though. In addition, what these okama refered to as "Mama" was apparently Saigou, being the owner of the place. He didn't even try to hide his monotone voice. It thoroughly made Gintoki cringe just thinking about it. 

He wore a fake smile as he forced himself to serve drinks to men of middle age or a little less. It was a pain to keep up with it all, considering that Gintoki was invited to sit down and drink with varies groups several, unwanted, times. He knew he had to decline anyway because he was serving and cleaning up, but he didn't want to anyway. His uncomfortability was through the roof. 

"Paako, you're quite popular, aren't you? It's been a while since we've had a pretty young woman serve here". 

"Sorry, but I can't see any pretty young women around. All I see is old men and a mirror in the men's restroom". 

"Don't be like that. Now, why don't you go play the hostess for a little while? Someone else should take turns with you, since you've been on your feet all evening". 

"I'd rather stay on my feet. I don't wanna drink with a bunch of uncles. I'll get dragged away to a hotel or something while I'm knocked unconscious". 

"Nonsense. If anyone were to even try, Mama would sort them out. Now go relax and have fun. I'm sure you need it. Go, go, go". 

Gintoki sighed deeply, looking over to a particular table. The guys sitting there appreared younger than most in the entire club. Perhaps thirties or early fourties? Either way, they spotted Gintoki looking their way and called him over-of course using the pet name that the okama gave him, without permission. 

"Paako, over here. Wanna drink with us?" 

"Yes, come over here. We won't bite". 

A disturbed chill ran right through Gintoki's spine, but he made his way over. Of course there was time to hesitate and prepare for what was to come, so he took the opportunity. Although, he was seen as being shy, and apparently cuter than he was trying to be. Gintoki took a small space in the booth, in the center of all four men as they gawked and looked over Gintoki in fascination. 

"Wow, you're quite lovely, aren't you? How old are you?" 

Gintoki twitched, trying not to look any of them in the eyes. He had to keep calm and stay composed. All that was on his mind was payment. Nothing more. 

"Uh...That-That's rude of you to ask, don't ya think?" 

"You're right, my apologies. But you are rather beautiful". 

"Yeah, like a pure white flower". 

Calm...Calm. Gintoki bit his tongue, holding back the urge to tell these guys to back off. But he knew that, eventually, the dam would break if this continued. It had only been a minute or two since he sat down as well! 

"Here, Paako, have a drink with us. You look parched". 

"N-no, I'm good. I'm actually trying to avoid alcohol recently. It...Uh, it's unhealthy-and you know...we're all deathly obsessed with out weight, aren't we? It's ridiculous. I don't know why I do it to myself". 

It was a rather far-fetched lie, but what other choice did he have? He wanted to avoid drinking at all that night, knowing deep down that he had a low tolerance for the stuff. The good, sweet, numbing stuff that always left Gintoki in a blissful mood. But, no, he knew for the safety of his asshole that he had to stay away from it. He was just assuming these things, deeply concerned that it was plausible to happen if he wasn't careful. 

"My ex-wife was always worried about her weight, but she was as skinny as a twig". 

"Mm, yeah, it's a pain in the ass. So, that's why, Paako, you shouldn't be worried. You're actually gorgeous as you are. So, it's okay, have a drink. Um, waitress!" 

Gintoki wasn't sure if these guys were drunk, stupid, serious or all of the above. Either way, he wanted to get out of there. It was a mistake sitting next to the younger guys. Even then they only had one thing in mind, and to get that they would have to try and flirt with a guy who knew that he was a guy and nothing more. One of the guys ordered a drink for Gintoki. Frozen stiff with no words able to exit his mouth, Gintoki just sat there uncomfortably, not knowing what to do as he cursed to himself within the safety of his already corrupted mind. However, this would prove to be quite scarring if things went any further. A glass of alcohol was brought over. Not sake, more like whiskey or brandy-on the rocks with condensation already covering the glass' surface. It was passed directly to Gintoki. He found himself transfixed, frozen as the ice-cold drink nipped at his fingers. For once, he really didn't want to drink. Due to his low tolerance, he didn't know what he'd do. If he had one, he had a bad feeling that he would have more and wouldn't be able to stop after at least four or five. So he hesitated as the men around him drank without batting an eye at him. It wasn't the first time he had drank around other guys, but this was the first time he had drank with other guys who were oddly attracted to him. And, frankly, it made him feel uncomfortable and unwilling to stick around. But he knew that he had to stick it out. If he went easy on the booze and kept to himself, then there was no harm. He could make it. Besides, even just a sip would help tolerate the stuffy area around him. 

Gintoki took a sip of alcohol, gulping it down quickly as the liquid smoothly ran down his throat. The amount still left in the glass looked untouched. He hoped that none of them would point it out. 

"Paako, there's no need to be so nervous, you know". 

"...?" 

"Although, we can understand since this is obviously your first day". 

"Uh! Well, yeah, I guess? This is my first day, so...I am...kinda feeling anxious". 

"Well, don't worry. We've only been coming here a few times, and not that often, but we've gotten to know the girls quite well. They're not bad people, just...misunderstood". 

Misunderstood? That was a hell of a way to put it. 

"I'm sure a girl like you would make a man happy someday". 

"Oi, don't just assume my sexuality because I work here. I like women". 

"What was that, Paako? No, surely you're more suited to a nice young man. I mean, look at your beautiful hair and soft, pale complexion..." 

"Hey, don't hog her. Why not come home with me? We can talk more privately". 

"Don't harrass her, let her pick". 

He could have said something while the opportunity while the opportunity was there. He had to bear having this guy casually brush his knuckles against his cheek. Gintoki twitched again. He had to stay calm. He had to bear with it until his shift was over. If he didn't then he felt like he would cause some trouble to stir. So, Gintoki took a breath and said what he had to say. 

"Haaah...I'm a straight man, you lecherous, old perveeeeeerts!" Gintoki yelled suddenly, standing to his feet and surprising quite a few custmors at seperate tables. "I like women and breasts and Ketsuno Ana! Me, date a guy?! Pah! As if! If I were to go out with another man, I think I'd rather work at a brothel!" 

"Oh my...". 

"Shut it, ya perverted old man! I'm not an okama and I'm not a whore! Don't just think that I'd go home with you because I sat down for a drink! Do I look like a whore to you?! You know, scratch that question! Do I look like an object to you bastards?!" 

Gintoki had just snapped in the moment. He was certaintly straight alright, enough to completely deny any attractions he could have for another man. It was embarrassing and too odd for him to imagine. So he used his sexuality as a defense against old perverts who assumed that he wanted to hand his ass to someone else. 

"That's it! I'm done! Touch me again and I'll break your fuckin' fist! Got it?! I'm so outta here!" 

Gintoki stormed out, glass of booze still in hand. Different stares followed him before he made a swift exit in his uncomfortable and tight shoes. He stormed out of the back exit, leaning his back against the alley wall. In a fit of rage he pulled out the clip-on extensions from his hair before taking a long swig of his drink. He didn't need this shit. He didn't care if the old hag yelled at him later. He wanted to get another job, one better and least degrading. If anything, he should have been the one to yell at the old hag for forcing him into this job in the first place. ... He retracted the glass away from his lips at that thought, in a pause. He relaxed, a feeling of guilt grasping at his chest. Why?...He wanted to take that back. He wouldn't...really yell at her. She did try to get him a job, and perhaps this was just a little joke of hers. But he couldn't exactly stick out the job now after such an outrages outburst. Better to just head home and forget about the whole thing. There were plenty of jobs out there, right? Simple, doable jobs for Gintoki to get his hands dirty-just not in this case. 

As the idea of making a swift exit entered Gintoki's mind, the fire exit door opened, much to Gintoki's surprise. He kept his composure upon seeing Saigou come out from the club, turning his head towards Gintoki before letting out a deep, monotone sigh. 

"There you are". He muttered, standing beside Gintoki against the wall. The height and build difference really made Gintoki feel small. "Are you alright?" Saigou asked, sounding legitimetly concerned. Probably due to all the oxytocin that he would have pumped into himself in order to be more nurturing. Although, that would be gross and kind of impossible for someone like that. 

"Never better". Gintoki replied with sarcasm clear in his voice, obviously to do with the amount of testostirone that he gained through teenage adolescence. "Although I should have expected this, being touched and flirted with by a bunch of guys. The only reason I took this job was so I could pay rent to the old hag". 

"That's reasonable enough. And, to be honest with you, Paako, it was okay to storm out like that. In fact, I'm glad you did". 

"...?" Gintoki looked up at Saigou, curious about those words. Of course it was obvious that an employer wouldn't allow harrassment in the workplace, of any sort, but Gintoki was just surprised that Saigou didn't tell him to just suck it up. He half expected that sort of lecture, but instead Gintoki got a different one. 

"You shouldn't have to put up with that sort of thing. Those men are harmless, but they had no right putting their hands on you so easily just because you're young and beautiful". 

"Oi, why are you saying that as if I'm a victimised woman? Oi? You listenin'?" 

"It happens, and the most you can do is storm out and yell that you have rights. I don't blame you at all, Paako. However...". 

Saigou faced Gintoki, placing a pair of big, gorilla-like hands onto Gintoki shoulders with a smile affixed to their face as to try and cheer Gintoki up. It was't very effective...though. 

"This was just the first step. All you need to do is build up more confidence so that, one day, you can become a wonderful and kind hostess that isn't afraid to stand up for herself, but in a way that still shows your spirit and gratefullness for other's patronage". 

"Oi, now you're talking about me like I'm fucking coming out of the closet or something. Oi! Are you ignoring me?!" 

"Paako...". Saigou took the twintail extensions from Gintoki's hand, clipping them back onto his hair. "You came out the moment you slipped perfectly into that dress and gave us a heart-warming smile". 

"........!" Gintoki's eyes widened, Saigou's smile scaring him into silence. What? What?! Eh? Ehh?! Just where the hell had this conversation gone?! He wasn't even trying to cheer him up anymore! This was just trying to convince Gintoki into thinking that he was something that he really wasn't! What was with thr dramatic effect of re-attatching his twintails?! Was that a sign that he was supposed to "accept" being an okama! No! In Gintoki's head, all he could spout was "this is fucked! This fucked! This is so fucked!" His mind raced as Saigou pulled him back into the club-and not even by force! Gintoki dragged his feet, a sense of dread overcoming him like ten ton bricks against his back. 

"Come along, Paako. Those men can apologise to you, and then we can get hack to work. I'll make sure to give you a little bonus as compensation for this mess. Other than, have fun, okay?" 

At the bottom of Gintoki's heart, he wished to be saved by the old hag, by someone, anyone. After this job, he would immediatly go to find another and that would be that. Any more of this, and would be his downfall into total idiocy like the rest of the okama that belonged to this club. This was the first and only time he would wear women's clothing. That was a promise he made to himself that night, otherwise he'd be reminded of the constant shudders from drafty rooms or cringes from the sound of monotone voice boxes travelling abruptly up his spine. After this, no more. Whether Gintoki was in the closet or not-which he was certain that he was never in any closet in the first place-that he would stay in tue dark and think happy thooughts of Ketsuno Ana. Nothing more than that. 

... 

It was late. Gintoki dragged his feet back to the snack house as the smell of booze and make-up wavered on his clothes and breath. It was just a night of drinking and being flirted with by old men, he wasn't intoxicated or anything. Gintoki was worn out, tired, exhausted from the night that just dragged on. In his pocket there was an envelope of money, paid by the owner him-or her-self. At least half of it would go towards the rent that Gintoki owed Otose for this month. He unlocked the door with the spare key, entering, his knees weak as he knew he was close to being able to lie down and rest. He locked the door behind him, wandering towards the back room with his mind totally focused on one thing: sleep. It was convenient, once he had stepped into the room, that his futon was already layed out for him by Otose. He didn't care to question in, even in his mind, as he slipped off his shoes and headed straight for the comfty bedding. Gintoki slipped under the covers, removing his pants from underneath out of laziness. He could always sort it out the next morning, when he had laundry duty. But, for now, the item of clothing remained crumpled and creased under his bed cover so he could sleep comfortably in his underwear. Curling up in his futon, Gintoki immediatly closed his eyes and waited to drift off. He knew it wouldn't be long until he fell asleep. He was too tired to stay awake anymore. 

But, even when he heard a gentle creak of the floorboards, Gintoki kept his eyes closed and pretended to sleep. Not tonight. He could explain to the old hag the next morning about how the job went and about how he didn't plan on going back. However, as unexpected as it was, he never actually heard Otose speak. There was only silence, and then a few more creaks of the floorboards-much closer than before. A warm hand rested on Gintoki's head, gently petting his hair as if to put him at ease. It was an odd sensation, one that Gintoki's hadn't felt for years-the simple gesture of someone taller or older petting his hair as a kind and warm action that always left Gintoki feeling peaceful and relaxed. 

"Haa...". Otose sighed, her expression unknown as Gintoki continued to pretend that he was totally asleep. "You've still got lipstick on your face, idiot. You look like crap". 

Although she was whispering, almost acknowledging the fact that Gintoki could have been unconscious, Gintoki could hear her clearly. 

"Ah, well, it was fun while it lasted". There was a pause for several seconds, a moment that Otose took as she noticed something jutting out from Gintoki's futon. His pants. She sighed, dragging them out from the bedding. "You're hopeless". She muttered, folding up the item of clothing onto her arm for the laundry. 

It wasn't long until she noticed the envelope sticking out of one of the pockets, which was swiftly taken out. Otose smirked, knowing exactly what it was. So he did make money. If there was some left over, it was his. She wouldn't take that away from him. But, for now, it was her right to take the rent that he owed. Other than that, the money was his. He earned it. It was her idea of a joke, after all. Making Gintoki dress in women's clothing for the okama, but she had also owed Saigou a favour. Well, debt paid. Nothing more to it. If he so chose, he could go back and work longer, but there was a strong feeling in Otose's gut that he didn't want to go back. If need be, Otose could give him a few jobs at the snack house. However, she wouldn't be paying him a thing. It wouldn't make any sense to pay him the money for him to simply give right back, especially when Otose was already feeding him and keeping a roof over his head. It wasn't like she was struggling to afford it, what with both jobs, but she knew the kid would have to take responsibility over his own life. That was the idea, at least. But, in the back of Otose's mind, she believed that he could stay for as long as he wanted to. Before it was a case of getting him back on his feet, but he was in healthy condition and could even work. So, what then? Was he going to stay a little longer? To tell a lie, Otose would say that it wasn't neccessary for him to stay much longer. However, what she honestly thought...remained at the back of her mind. 

... 

Days turned into weeks of Gintoki's stay. He ended up doing some odd jobs around the Kabuki district for those who needed a strapping uoung man to do their dirty work. Despite his appearance, Gintoki was actually quite idle. Otose would come home to see him lounging around on the floor or under the table, writing something without a word to pass his lips. He seemed focused on it, but relaxed at the same time, enjoying what he was doing without a smile. Otose felt like coming home to a kid writing up an essay for school, a carton of pocky at his side. At least until he started picking his nose, ears or scratching irritated parts of his body like an old man. What was he, in his early twenties at the moment? At least once, Otose got up the tenacity to actually ask what he was writing. She wasn't really curious before but, in her line of work, writing was golden. 

"Gintoki, just what are you writing there? You've been at it for at least two weeks". 

"I'm just...writing. Nothing special or important, just lettin' my imagination flow. You said yesterday that you worked in publishing, right? It got me thinking: "why don't I start writing again? Maybe I'll make something outta it someday". And well, here I am". 

"Are you even a writer? Can you gimme something that isn't crap?" 

"I used to write a bunch of essays when I was a kid. I wanted to take up sword training, but I ended up focusing more on writing. Won a few awards for it". 

"Seriously? Then can I...have a look?"

For a couple of seconds, Gintoki simply stared at Otose with a straight expression, and she stared right back. He didn't say a word as he picked up the notepad and pointed it towards Otose before averting his gaze once more. She approuched, taking the notepad in hand. Scimming through each and every word, Otlse read on with curiousity. It was a simple story about children who wandered into a forest of sakura trees, playing hide and seek under a clear blue sky. The synopsis was simple, but the writing style and the descriptions were so vivid and beautifully done. It was sincere but playful, capturing the image perfectly in Otose's mind as she read on. It was truely fascinating and interesting and...new. 

"This is...actually pretty good. You won awards for this stuff?" 

"Mainly certificates, but I spilled ramen or curry on most of them and had to throw them out years ago". 

"How did you manage that? Didn't you hang any of them up?" 

"Psh, no. I don't give a damn about that stuff". Gintoki scoffed, his pink finger wedged into his earhole. "They can have their awards, I just wanted to write. It was bad enough that they knew my name. Didn't get any peace for weeks". 

"Gintoki, if it's alright with you, I wanna submit this into our monthly magazine". 

"...? Eh? Didn't you hear me, old hag? I'm not gonna get involved with any of that crap again". 

"You can sign yiur name as anyonomous" 

"And? Still wouldn't get involved". 

"This kinda stuff starts up a career for many talented individuals". 

"More reason not to submit my work. I don't want a career". 

"Why not? Authors make good money, whether they write books or magazine articles. For this-and this piece alone-you could get a good share out of it. Maybe about...thirty-thousand yen?" 

Gintoki's body visibly froze, his heart almost stopping at that. How much? thirty-...thousand...yen? That was more than Gintoki had earned in years. He thought about it as carefully as he could manage for a moment. He didn't want to sound like a hypocrite, but that was a lot of money to be earned from writing a creative piece. Plus, as long as he could sign it as anoynomous then it couldn't hurt. And a career? Well, that idea would have to be put to the side for a while. 

"If you give me something worth selling, finished and perfectly written-with no grammar mistakes or anything-I'll give you a shot. It may not be this month, but next month that you gimme something to publish proudly. Just continue it for now and get back to me, alright?" 

Otose gave Gintoki back his writing piece, displayed on her notepad. He was silent, saying nothing as he looked over his work again. 

"Just...think about it. It could mean a bright future ahead of you, Gintoki". Gintoki cracked a smirk at that. 

"What are you, my homeroom teacher? Sorry, Granny, but I got that lecture a long time ago and it got me nowhere". 

"Well, hopefully this is a good chance for you to actually pay attention to that lecture and drag your ass to a better place. I'm not trying to lecture you, Gintoki. I'm giving you advice. It's what I'm here for, as well as putting a roof over your head". Otose wandered over to the kitchen, taking the kettle to fill up with clean water. "I'm making some tea before dinner. Anything you're hungry for?" 

"Uh...Nah, I don't mind. Whatever is fine with me, old hag". 

"You'll only complain later. And saying that isn't much help. Heh, you are quite useless, you know that? Is the only thing you're good at writing and doing laundry?" 

"Hey, I have other skills". 

"Like what?" She asked, swiftly turning on the stove to boil the kettle. 

"Well...It's kinda embarrassing but...I'm a pretty good sketch artist. I had plenty of practice when I was a kid, and I was pretty shit before I learned". 

"How can you learn to draw? I always thought that was a natural talent". 

"It is, just took me a while to find out I had it. Eh...let's see, I guess I'm not that good of a cook, gotta admit. I've only ever made simple things like tofu salad and plain rice". 

"What, elementary stuff? I'll teach you how to cook, if you'd like. Nothing to it, really. We can even start tonight, meaning we can make something simple to start off". 

"Good plan, Granny". 

Gintoki hadn't batted an eye at Otose as he continued to look over his work, adding in more or correcting the little things like grammar or spelling. He seemed more focused than before, although he still didn't treat his "hobby" like work or a chore. He had never thought about making any sort of career out of his pass-time hobby. It sounded more like a pain in the ass than a kick-starter to a "bright future". Putting it that way even sounded childish in Gintoki's head, like when he was a teenager facing employment councilling. Back then he felt pressured and stressed to find a job that was all too ordinary for him to live with. So, in the end, he didn't go to college or work in a business like everyone else. He already had a part-time job, which was to become a full time job before he moved onto...other things. And those other things were the reason why he ended up the way he was. Left in such a condition until Otose found him. That was certainly a story Gintoki didn't want to re-live on lined paper. It wasn't worth thinking about. Knowing that, Gintoki wondered if things would ever go back to the way they were. He wondered this, but he didn't wish for it. Some things, to him, were best left set in stone so that the outcome wasn't ten times worse. The butterfly effect, it was called. And Gintoki would have rather moved forward on his own, climbing whatever stepping stones that were layed out before him. Even if it hurt him in the process, as well as many others. He sighed, burying his face into his crossed arms across the floor. How much longer...would this feeling of guilt drag on? The guilt he felt from climbing those stepping stones, and losing what felt like everything in Gintoki's life behind. He wiped the repetitive memories from his thoughts as he wished to focus on his writing once more, and the smell of fragrant tea drifting from the kitchen. 

... 

A heavy sigh was provoked from Gintoki once he placed down the large crate of bottles into the snack house. He stood up straight, his back aching. Yes, he took on the job of being the "help" of the snack house. After he began focusing more on his writing, Otose took the idea of having him help out around the bar didn't look like such a pointless idea anymore. He had the muscle and the energy to do the manual labour work, such as carrying boxes and serving trays of drinks to the booths that were slightly further away from the bar. Gintoki had his sleeves rolled up, the joints of his arms sore from carrying two boxes into the bar from the back room. There was that and his earlier job of cleaning the bar's floors until they practically shined. It was hard work, but it was better than working at the okama club. 

"How's that, Granny? That the last of them?" 

"Yeah, that's it. Good work". 

Relieved of his duties, or so he thought, Gintoki leaned against the bar counter with yet another long sigh. He hadn't worked this hard in ages. And the old hag worked him to the bone-yet he still had to pay rent. What a real pain in the ass-for them both, really.

"Hey, Otose, who's the kid? He your son?" One of the regular's asked, drink in hand. That question captiviated attention from them both as they remained composed without exposing a real reaction. 

"Nope". They both, Gintoki and Otose, answered in unison. It was almost scary how that turned out. 

"Hm, true. I can't see the resemblence. Just curious". 

"Of course you would be, Aki. Whenever anyone in this area sees this young man with me, they either assume he's my son, or worse". 

Over the past few weeks, there had been several incedents in which Gintoki was refered to as Otose's "boy" or her "new man". A male gold digger, even. They had gotten to know eachother's personalities and quirks over such an amount of time that such an accusation would have made either of them want to puke. They got on well, except when rent or Gintoki's idleness came into the picture. If anyone really knew Otose, being one of the four devas of the district, they would also know that she didn't have any children and that the only man she could ever love was her late husband. To put it in short for those who assumed Gintoki was next of kin, or otherwise Otose's strapping, young plaything, Gintoki was a helping hand around the house. That's all the explaination needed. 

"I didn't mean to pry. But, he seems like a good kid". 

"Tch, you should see him when he's not working or doing any chores that I make him do". 

"Oi, Granny, I'm standin' right here". Gintoki grumbled, moving himself up from the counter to stretch out his arms. "It's hard work doing chores and helping out around here. I'm entitled to lay around sometimes". 

"You lay around most of the day, when I'm not around. And you still don't pay rent on time". 

"Agh...But, Granny~". 

"Don't "Granny" me. I've given you plenty of time to pay rent when it's due and you never pay it. That's why you're here, working your ass off to clear the debt you've built up so far". 

"Aghh...Fine. Is there anything else I need to do?" 

"Hmm...You can take these empty bottles out for recycling, and then wipe down the tables". 

"Yeah, yeah...okay. Geez, you really are a slave-driver". 

"It's for your own good, kiddo. Trust me. In an ordinary workplace, you'll need disipline". 

"Don't I know it". Gintoki muttered, taking the empty bottles from the occupied booths. He exited from the bar, heading to the back room. 

Otose had to admit, whenever Gintoki put his mind to it (or whenever he was told) he could be a hard-worker. She knew she was pushing him quite a bit, but he did need the disipline if he was going to start of strongly. He wasn't a spoiled brat or anything, just lazy. And when it came to lazy people, Otose knew that they needed a kick up the rear end in order for them to get moving and get on with it. Gintoki was just as tough when it came to that. Otose turned back to the gentlemen at the table, one of them with his face buried in his hands as he wallowed in self-despair. It seemed like it was a harsh way of putting it, but in his situation there was no other way to go about it. 

"Oi, Ishihara, you've been awfully quiet". One of the men pointed out, resting his hand on this "Ishihara's" shoulder to get his attention. "You okay there?"

"Don't. He's been like this since...you know. I just invited him for drinks and offered to pay his bill". 

This man had been going through problems over the past month or so, at least from what Otose had heard. Apparently his wife left him for financial reasons, and since then he wasn't able to make ends meet. It wasn't an uncommon story within the red light district, or anywhere for that matter. Otose herself had heard it many times over. That's what the snack shop was for, a place where old geezers could stop in and either have fun or spout their problems while getting wasted. 

"Y'know, there's no use pitying the guy". Gintoki's voice suddenly emitted from behind, all eyes on him-except from the guy being 'pitied", as Gintoki put it. "You'll only push him further down into despair if you give him a reason to be pushed. Let him have his drink, whine about life and then tell him to get up off his ass and do something instead of complaining. If friends didn't do that, we'd all be trapped in the same despair pit". 

"Uh, who are you again?" 

"His name's Gintoki". Otose answered. "And he shouldn't be the one giving life advice when he's supposed to be working. Go on, get back to work". She ordered Gintoki, his response being to roll his eyes before continuing to wipe the tables clean.

After all this, Gintoki wanted nothing more than an early sleep. He had been longing for those ever since he started working hard again. There was these odd jobs Granny or someone around the district had him do for money, or it was because of his writing that he became so tired so easily. Either way, these past few weeks had been rough. 

"You know, Otose-san, to be fair, he doesn't look to far off from what Terada-san looked like. Am I right?" 

"Sure. I mean, the kid's got a perm-head and maroon eyes but he doesn't look that different". 

"Fella's, do you mind?" Otose muttered, taking a drag of her cigarette. 

"Now, come on, Otose. You've gotta admit that he's a little similar. A hard-working kid with an attitude. Almost the spitting image". 

"Mm-hm. Although I doubt this kid'll get into the same situation that he did. If he did then I'm sure Otose would be-...?!" 

There was an abrupt sound that practically echoed within the room and shut everyone up in an instant. It was a sharp sound, the sound of glass smashing against the floorboards and shattering into tiny little pieces. All eyes darted towards the noise, and bafflement was exposed among those who spoke out without thinking. Gintoki, silent, stood with his back turned to the booths, his expression unreadable from that angle. The shattered glass lay by his feet, his hand open as if he had just dropped it. It clenched into a fist, and was visibly tight. A drop of nlood squeezed it's way from his closed palm. Had the glass already been crushed...in his bare hand? 

"Sorry, Granny". He muttered. "Looks like I broke one of your glasses. I just got a little tense there. You guys...". 

"...?!" 

Gintoki turned towards them, a casual smile on his face. 

"Try to keep your fuckin' mouths shut, if ya know what's good for ya, okay? Don't pry into the old lady's business, and don't talk so casually. I'm my own person. Don't compare me as being someone else's kid. Morons". 

Gintoki crouched down on the ground, picking up the broken pieces of glass. His hand was bleeding at it's palm. He must have gotten quite angry. To Otose, it was a minor thing to get angry about, but seeing Gintoki get angry for her was...different. She sighed out a puff of smoke, putting out her cigarette in a nearby ashtray. 

"Do you fella's mind clearing out? It's closing time". She said, awaiting for the men to get up and leave. "Leave your money on the table. Come again next time". 

"Y-yeah, sure, Otose-san". 

"Thanks for having us...". 

Quickly, the men left their bill money on the table, clearing out and leaving the bar empty. Well, aside from Otose and Gintoki still being there. With a sigh, Otose approuched Gintoki as he dumped the shards of glass into the trash. His hand appeared to be cut in several places now, but he didn't react to the pain that would obviously be seeping into his skin like frost or burns. It bled, staining his hand in red. Otose grabbed his wrist, holding his hand in a way that faced the palm upwards, to keep any more blood from flowing out. 

"You're hopeless". She muttered. "What moron taught you to pick up broken shards with bare hands?" 

"Nobody. I'm just a moron, too. Right, Granny?" 

"Yeah, definitely. Come on, I'll bandage this up for you". 

... 

Gintoki had started feeling the pain once his hand was under the pressure of freezing cold water that blasted from the kitchen sink's faucet. He was told to keep it under the water until Otose came back with the first-aid kit. But, so far, that was taking forever. He could even hear her from the kitchen as she searched around in the bathroom. The door was wide open for god sake's. 

"Now...where did I put it? Where...where...is it?" She really was old. She had lived in this house for years and didn't even know where the bandages was. She didn't even have many drawers or cupboards in the whole house. 

"Granny, what the hell are you looking for?" 

"Non-stick bandages. Just sit tight and-ah! There they are!" 

Otose came back into the kitchen, turning off the faucet before taking Gintoki's wrist again and dragging him to the table in order to tend to the wound. He protested about her need to be so pushy. 

"Oi-ack! It still hurts, ya know". 

"Stop whining. Now, sit yer ass down so I can put some pressure on this. We have to stop the bleeding". 

Otose had brought out a few simple items for Gintoki's wound: non-stick bandages, band-aids, antibiotic ointment, a glass of water, cotton balls and a cloth. Gintoki sighed deeply, irritated that he had to have this done. But it was either that or get an infection. And a trip to the doctor's was something Gintoki really did not want or need. With the wound pretty much clean, Otose took the cloth and placed it over Gintoki's hand to apply pressure and stop the bleeding. As soon as she pressed her hand against it, Gintoki hissed in pain, holding back his bottom lip. The blood soaked through the cloth, Gintoki's cut fingers twitching under the pressure. 

"Agh, don't be a baby. It could be worse". The old hag certainly wasn't very reassuring. 

"Y-yeah, well...This-This is nothing. Ahh...I've gotten worse bumps and scrapes when I was a kid. Hell, I've been beaten up worse than this when I was a teenager. This little cut is nothing-gh!" 

Otose added a little more pressure on purpose, holding back a little upon hearing Gintoki's pained reaction. 

"Hm-hm, sorry. Wanted to check how tough you really are. Still a big baby, it seems". 

"Hey, that wasn't fair. You're so mean, old hag". 

"Serves you right. Just what were you thinking? There was no need for you to be so dramatic". 

"I didn't do it for drama. The guys pissed me off. I'd hate it if they spoke that way about me so casually. What kind of idiots do you allow into this place?" 

"Hmph, you, for one". Otose removed the soaked cloth from Gintoki's hand, the bleeding had ceased. There was still some dry blood over his skin, so Otose picked up a cotton ball and dipped it into the glass of water to clean around the wound. "Never thought I'd take you in, but look where we are". 

"Guess I am an idiot. But, you know, we all are. If there were no idiots in the world we'd either have world peace or world destruction. Having idiots like me around keeps a balance in this fucked up world". 

"I guess you're right. So...you and my husband aren't that much different after all. He was an idiot, too, at some point". 

Gintoki's focus perked up, his attention concentrating on Otose's words. He had a bad feeling on where this was going. As Otose had began to clean his hand with the ointment, she wore a solemn expression. 

"Listen, Granny, you don't have to talk about it. I know I pry sometimes about your personal stuff, like where you hide your cookie stash, but I'd never make you discuss the things that don't need to be shared. I...understand that much, even if I am idiotic". 

Otose paused in the middle of her task, staring at Gintoki's hand. She cracked a smile, her eyes affixed on Gintoki's big hand, in comparison to her fraile, smaller hand. 

"I'm sure you do understand, Gintoki. That's why I feel like I still don't really know you. But that's okay. We're all different. I wouldn't make you discuss private matters either, but...it's my choice whether I wanna talk or not. You are a good kid, and you did ask me about my husband once. It couldn't hurt...I trust you". 

There was another pause, but Otose's smile didn't fade. It remained, and so Gintoki's expression relaxed. As if to break away from this pause, Otose first began bandaging up Gintoki's hand, carefully. While she did so, she spoke her truth. She talked about the one thing that she thought would never be something to discuss. Gintoki would be the first to hear it. To hear the story of Otose's husband. 

"As I told you, my husband was a cop who protected the Kabuki district for years. He made a living out of helping people and stopping those who caused trouble. Even before then, as he had told me, it was in his nature to be the hero. This other man, whom I had been friends with since childhood, Jirochou Doromizu, was a vigilante-quite the opposite in lawful terms. To put a long story short, we were all good friends until I married Tatsugorou. And, as far as I know, Jirochou had a family of his own. Anyway, about twenty years ago, they joined this organisation that dealt in propaganda against the government. Despite my husband's position, he greatly disagreed with the government's way of doing things and joined for the sake of protecting the district in which we lived. Jirochou, of course, joined as well. I didn't see Tatsugorou for a few years, although he did what he could to stay in contact from wherever he was. From what I heard, the work was hard and they were constantly at risk for spouting such offensive material against the people who had governed Japan at the time. Eventually, their den was found and...to keep them quiet and to stop at least one hideout from producing such material, a group of secret police apparently purged most of the men, including my husband". 

Gintoki had been silent throughout this entire story, keeping his eyes focused on Otose, and his mind clear to take in all that information. Otose had done bandaging his hand a few moments inbetween words and had paused for a moment or two at the end, right before sighing and taking a band-aid or two to keep the bandaging in place of Gintoki's hand and wrist. 

"That's all there is to it, really. My husband risked his life to save the people who still wished to fight against the governments stupid policies and laws, including Jirichou, who was very close to taking a bullet. Tatsugorou, in the moment, decided to take it for him. It's understandable, but sometimes I still wonder why he did it. Why he took his own life for the sake of an organisation, and not just a friend. He always said how he would stay by my side and protect the things that were most important to him. But now he can't protect anything anymore". 

Otose wasn't sad or sorrowful by speaking those words. Although her expression was solumn, her eyes showed acceptance in the past, knowing that nothing could be fixed or altered. Gintoki, of all people, undersood this just as much. But he kept quiet about it. This wasn't about him, he thought. There were some things that just had to happen, all of them with or without reason. With everything Gintoki had gone through, the demons he himself had faced, he wondered if there was a reason behind it all. If all of what was going on meant something, if the purpose was to lead him to a path of heaven or hell. It didn't take long for him to realise that we make our own choices, the consequences and the impact of those choices not crossing our minds in a moment. People make their own paths, with or without reasoning. So, what path was Gintoki following? Something like that, to him, couldn't be decided until the road met it's end. And he knew that he was nowhere near the end of his journey. 

"Granny...". Gintoki muttered calmly, seeing Otose raise her head to look him right in the eyes. "You know, I don't really believe in coincedence or chance. But...with all the past choices I've made, many of them stupid or hurtful to others, it's no wonder I ended up sitting behind your old man's geave for you to come find me. For years, I've tried to protect so much all in one go, and it came collapsing on top of me when I least expected it. But it was my choice to protect those things, no matter how crushing it was for me. And right now I feel like all those choices led me to finding you, and I feel like it's given me a second chance to carry that burden one more time. So, despite the state I was in, being found by you wasn't such a bad thing, in the end. I think your husband wanted me to find you, to give you protection in his stead. The dead don't talk, but the dying can utter their last breath with their final wishes. I think your idiot husband wanted an idiot like me to protect his old lady. Right, Granny?" 

It was the most sincere Gintoki had been towards Otose. He made a hell of an effort, as well. With a gentle smile on his face, Gintoki grasped Otose's hand with his injured one weakly. Otose was speechless, but a smile did evemtually cross her lips and, in return, she grasped Gintoki's hand as well. 

"What's with that, dummy? Since when are you such a sap?" 

"You're one to talk, old hag. I'll never understand the elderly". 

"Wait until you reach my age, kid. You're not too far". 

"Oi, oi, I'm nearly twenty-four this month. So, in that respect, could ya refrain from callin' me "kid"? Just call me Gintoki". 

"Sure...Gintoki".

It had been a while since Otose had opened up about anything to anyone. There were days, before Gintoki's unexpected arrival, that she would keep to herself and kept a distance from people. She didn't have many friends after Tatsugorou or Jirochou, thinking that she didn't need such things in her life. But, Gintoki felt the same way, in his heart. Getting attatched to people, making friends, seeing them strive so hard to protect what matters was truely painful. When those people fade away or are stolen in an instant, the pain lasts for years. Over time, it gets better and the pain numbs. But there are things people can never forget, even if they wanted to. Gintoki chose not to forget, but also chose to keep his eyes looking straight ahead no matter how cloudy or fogged over the future seemed. 

... 

Weeks eventually became months, and it seemed clear that there was no getting rid of Gintoki. He ended up lacking rent each month, which led to comedic arguments and spats between the two. In other words, they grew more comfortable and confident around eachother enough to start picking fights. At twenty-four, Gintoki had become more lazy. It was evident on a day-to-day basis. The amount of time that had gone by went unnoticed. Gintoki had still lingered around with his work ever since that first piece was submitted the previous month or so. He kept writing, but Otose hadn't heard a word from him about it. He was still as private as ever. Ah, well, she didn't argue or make a fuss over it. 

On one particular evening, Gintoki had gone out for "a walk", he said. It was still cold out, due to the spring season, yet he went out for a walk? Otose figured that he went out to drink. Wouldn't surprise her. So she tended to the bar alone that evening, taking down the banner outside at closing time. It was quiet that night. Very quiet. Just as she usually did, Otose entered the snack shop once again, intending to lock up shortly after storing the banner away. She had closed the door, of course. Once she had locked up, Gintoki could just use the spare key-unless he had gotten drunk and lost it. She sighed at the thought, her back turned to the front entrance for just a moment longer until there was a shift in tue atmosphere. Otose could sense a second presence floating behind her ominously. As if to be expected, the snack shop door opened slowly. Without showing any signs of surprise, without turning her badk right away, Otose spoke. 

"Sorry, we're closed". She said, somehow recognising that it wasn't Gintoki who had arrived. He usually stays out a little later than this. 

Otose turned around to see who had intruded, although the banner outside was clearly taken down. There was a pause between her and the man who had entered without saying a single word. She recognised this man, not as well as she recognises most people, but he had been around the snack shop from time to time. He used to be a regular, but due to certain circumstances, not anymore. 

"Ishihara...What are you doing here? I thought you stopped coming here 'cause of money issues. Oi, are you listening?" 

The man looked worn out, dark circles clear under his eyes as well as this look of anxiety, or fear. Shaking, he took out somethijg from his back pocket, quickly trying to compose himself as he presented this item. A knife. Otose didn't react, but was wise to keep a distance from him. He didn't move, but held the knife out towards Otose, threatening her. 

"N-now...". He spoke, clutching the knife's handle tightly. "I..I just want you to help me out...and I'll leave, alright? Give me...whatever money you have in the register, and I'll get out. If not...you'll leave me no choice". 

He wasn't very threatening-not visibly, anyway. But in his state of mind, it was clear he would do anything for money. He would even attack someone in such a desperate state. Otose wasn't the fighting type, so she had to admit that she was at a disadvantage. He hadn't done anything stupid yet, so she took the chance to stall him and talk him down. It was worth a shot. 

"Ishihara, you don't really wanna hurt me, do you? Look, I get that you're situation is desperate, but turning to robbing an old hag is beyond even that. Just drop the weapon and we can talk it out over a drink-on the house". 

"N-no, you...you don't understand! I need this-I fucking need this! My whole life is fucked because...because that bitch couldn't handle it!" 

"Okay, okay, relax. Take a deep breath. It's no ones fault as to why your wife left. These things just happen, alright?" 

"Oh, sure. Financial trouble and a cruel, evil bastard for a boss just 'happens". It just "happens" when your spouse leaves you because you can't support her!" 

"Yeah, exactly. So why are you so pissy about it? You don't need to do this. In fact, I strongly advise that you don't. Just...walk away". 

"A-and what?! You gonna call the police?! I am standing here with a knife-you can't call for anyone...So just...do as I say ajd open the register. Now". 

This kid was too confident in his abilities, approuching the situation like this. But Otose wasn't worried. In fact, she had no need to feel relief in the first place. A darkness loomed around Ishihara, something that had awakened the moment he pulled that knife out. It radiated danger. That's why Otose told him to back off, otherwise..Oh, did you think she meant Ishihara? 

"...!" 

A bottle suddenly smashed against the back of Ishihara's head, the darkness fading as he collapsed to the floor. A figure, eyes shrouded behind silver locks and a dangerous demeanour. Behind him...Behind him... 

"...Aaaah....aiyayayaya...". A drunken, natural permed moron. 

Gintoki raised his head, uncovering his shrouded face to reveal red cheeks and unfocused eyes. He hiccuped, totally and utterly wasted. Otose sighed deeply. Oh, yeah, he was dangerous alright. 

"Ack, h-heeey, Granny. I'm hoome-*hic*. Ugh, wha-waht happened....Are-oh god...are you alright?! What...Pffft...haha". 

"Are you an idiot? The hell are you doing, waltzing in here, smashing bottles over a guy's head? Agh! It's all over the floor". 

"Hey, I saved your life...I may be drunk...and I may have gotten kissed by t-two different women tonight...but, hey, at least...What was I gonna say? Fuck...". 

"You really are hopeless. What am I gonna do with you? Are you stable enough to help me get this guy over to one of the couches? I need to check if he's still breathing". 

"Are you gonna call the cops?" 

"If he's in a weak condition, I'll call an ambulance. If he's fine, I'll rry and get a hold of his ex-wife. I'm sure she'll drag his ass back". 

"What makes ya think she'll do dat?" 

"I've met her. She's a good person, just intolerant of useless bums. God forbid that she ever meets you. Now, get this guy off the floor while I clean up the glass". 

"Ro-*hic*-ger...dat. Hwaah...Come on, buddy. Gin-chan-san will help ya out. Up you get...nnnngh...". 

With whatever strength Gintoki had left, he pulled Ishihara up to his feet, dragging him to one of the booths with every staggering step. Once the guy was seated, passed out still, Gintoki retracted himself, stumbling slightly. 

"Agh, what a night. I was jus' happily drinkin' and then...all of a sudden...I gotta deal with this shit...Granny, you'd best be gra-*hic*-grateful...". 

"Oh, yeah, Gintoki. I am. As if I was in any danger". 

"Wha' was that?!" 

"Nothing, nothing. You, go take a bath. You stink of booze". 

"O-kay...Grandma. I'll jus'...I'll jus'...uh...Fuck, where was the bathroom?" 

"Oh, for the love of pete. Come here, you drunk. I'll get you there". 

Otose allowed Gintoki to lean on her shoulder, the pungent stink of sake forcing her to breath through her mouth. 

"God, you reek of booze and perfume. And...is that lipstick on your face?" 

"Yep, two girls were flirting with me and we ended up smoochin'. They were cute...and I think one of 'em had a piercing. That explains the pain on my tongue, I guess...I don't remember. Hey, Granny, can I get some money for a coffee milk? I'm really cravin' one right now even though I haven't been to an onsen in quite a while. Hey, why don't we do that one time? Although I think I'd rather be in a room surrounded by naked guys than share an onsen with you". 

"One, you're the worst. Two, I won't be giving you any money so dream on. And three, I know, Gintoki. I'd rather you be in a room surrounded by naked guys too than go to an onsen with me". 

"Glad we agree on one of those...you'd never give me money ever". 

"That's the one you agree on?!" 

This wasn't the usual evening between them, but it felt like something normal. At least, now it was normal for Otose. For years it had just been her by herself. She had never expected to be lugging a drunken idiot to her bathroom in the middle of the night, but here they were. After just a few months, they had both gotten into this weird routine and, honestly, it didn't feel so...lonely anymore. Not that they would say something like that out loud, but they were both thinking it-at least when Gintoki was in a sober state of mind. The house suddenly got smaller for Otose, and in a good way. It was livlier and more fun to have such a useless hooligan around. She could admit that now, in her mind as she dragged him all the way to the bathroom, hoping that he could get undressed and bathe himself without hitting his head or falling over. Because, no matter how much she appreciated his company after years of solitude, she didn't want to take care of him for everything. And that was final. 

... 

The very next morning, after Isihara woke up and was dragged home by his ex-wife, Otose had entered the main room first thing to see Gintoki curled up under his futon with a hangover. He was clutching his head, groaning and whining in pain. It was enough to make Otose crack a hidden smile. He was like a teenager having his very first hangover, spouting such nonsense like... 

"I'll never drink again...I'll never drink again...uuuuugh...". 

From under his sheets, Otose could just picture the tears in his eyes with regret from recklessly drinking. She almost felt sorry for him. 

"Aww, poor baby~". She said, sarcastically. 

"Shut it, old hag. If I wasn't hungover...gh! It hurts...Granny, can I have some painkillers? This headache is killing me...I feel sick...Never again...I'll never drink again". 

"I've heard it all before, Gintoki. I'll get ya some painkillers, if you say the magic word". 

"So cruel...Ack, your voice is ringing in my ears...Ghhh...". 

"Come on, spit it out. Or do you not want any painkillers?" 

"God, you are mean. I hope next winter takes you for sure you old witch". 

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, fine, ya big baby. I'll get ya something for the pain. And I'll sit the trash can by your head if you're gonna throw up".

Just as Otose was heading towards the bathroom to grab some painkillers, she noticed something jutting out from under the table. A notepad, the first page seemingly filled completely. Her eyebrow arched at the sight, curiosity striking her. Without Gintoki really noticing, she pulled out this notepad and read over the passage that Gintoki had made. It had a title and...a chapter number? She skimmed through it, turning each page to see how many chapter there were. Her eyes widened in realisation. 

"You...You're writing a novel?" She asked, truely surprised. 

"Hm? Ugh, y-yeah...The last writing went well so I thought..."why not?" I can do it...". 

"You want me to give ya a shot?" Gintoli nodded weakly in response. 

A novel, eh? It had been quite some time since any new authors came about, especially at Gintoki's young age. He was talented, she could see that. So, why not give him a shot? If he said he could do it, despite how idle and useless he really was, Otose wanted to give him a chance. By the looks of things, Gintoki was very passionate about writing. 

"Alright. I'll read over what you've got and get back to you. If it's worth a shot, I'll see what the higher-ups think. If it's good enough, we'll see about getting it published when it's finished". 

"Great...". Of course, having a hangover, Gintoki didn't sound too enthusiastic. But he would be if the novel was worth putting into a hard-cover book. 

To put a long story short, it was the beginning of Gintoki's career as an author. For the first few months, he did work hard up until his first book was published. Even without any qualifications to his name aside from a high school diploma, Otose elected herself to be his publisher. Then came more books over the few years they worked together, big pay checks, awards that Gintoki didn't care about. The days just tailored on from there, but it seemed like the two gained more physical distance as their careers grew. Gintoki did eventaully move out, gained many friends like Shinpachi and Kagura. Hell, it seemed like he found himself a little lover as well, even though they were suspected of being a guy. But despite all that, Gintoki didn't ever break his promise to Otose. He didn't plan to while she was still around. 

... 

Present Day... 

Gintoki's glass had emptied once again, and he had enough for today. Good thing it wasn't strong stuff, otherwise he would have gone home drunk. He never stopped listening to the stories that Otose was telling him from back then. It was quite nostalgic, except when she mentioned his hangovers. He could feel himself getting a headache just thinking about it. Otose looked up at the clock hanging from the wall above the bar. She sighed, seeing as it was the late hours of the afternoon already. 

"Well, shit, look at the time. I've really kept you back, huh?" 

"Nah, I wouldn't worry about it, Granny. This wasn't so bad, catchin' up and all. I almost missed the smell of soap and old people". 

"Yeah, okay, Gintoki. I almost miss having to bandage up every cut and scrape you got. You were like a kid". 

"Well, I'm offically a man now. Guess you're proud?" 

"Hmm...meh". 

"Wow...Thanks for the encouragement". 

"Well, I don't really know what to say. I guess...I can say I'm proud of how far you've come since the day we met, based on your work. But no matter how I look at it, you're still the same lazy, drunken Gintoki Sakata that you always were. But...I suppose that's not really a bad thing, when you look at it". 

"Hm...Thanks, Granny". 

Gintoki looked at the time himself, sighing. 

"I should probably get going. Don't wanna be here when Catherine shows up. I get nightmares just looking at her face". Gintoki stood up from the bar stood, Otose following close behind him in order to see him out. "Hey, Granny, I was thinking...about that room upstairs...". 

"Yeah, what about it?" 

"Well, when I retire from novels...I think...I think I'll come back here with Kagura and Shinpachi. Maybe I'll run a business up there". 

"Oh, yeah, what kinda business?" 

"I don't really know yet. Maybe I'll be a jack of all trades. A...Yorozuya". 

Gintoki smiled at the thought, only to be shortly discouraged by the old hag. 

"Great, you'll go back to making nothing. How are ya gonna pay rent?" 

"Oi, are you really thinking about that now? I haven't retired yet. You'll see, I'll still have plenty of cash leftover to pay rent with". Gintoki left the snack shop at those words, Otose seeing him out with a continued discussion. 

"Just don't blow it all on pachinko and booze". 

"What kinda guy do you take me for? See ya, Granny". 

Gintoki walked off down the path and into the far distance. From where Otose stood, she could see him take his scooter down the path. She sighed, taking a cigarette. Despite their physical distance, despite having no blood relation or family ties, it seemed that the two did have a bond stronger than blood. He promised all those years ago with sincerity. Despite the cold, he held onto a strong heart and kept the will to carry on. There were things about Gintoki that were almost unreadable for Otose. She kept wondering what exactly went on in his head while others were left in the dark to wonder what his feelings were. Then were times where Otose saw something in him, a glimer of the past that was so familiar. As he walked off, waving goodbye, she saw it. It was only for a split second. A memory, a familiar face and an all-too familiar goodbye. But she smiled. It wasn't really a goodbye. This time he would come back and stick around until the end. An Odd Jobs, huh? Didn't sound like such a bad idea, for him. 

"...See ya...". Otose mumbled to herself, still smiling. "...kiddo".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhhh, I loved writing this so much! I just adore the idea of Gintoki and Otose's relationship. I just let my imagination run wild with this one, and I really, really loved it. See, it's not just about Ginhiji/Hijigin. I love all the characters and want them all to have a story in this fanfiction. Did you enjoy this background stuff? It was nice for me, at least. There will be more like this, a few chapters coming up every now and then throughout. I would like to hear feedback about these chapters and see what people think. Anyway, thank you very much for reading the next chapter. Until the next one. Bye my dear readers. :)


	12. You Can't Make Up An Acceptance Speech on the Spot, But Then It Seems So Rehearsed!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are here once again for some more chapters and more cutesy, fluffy, yaoi stuff...and some other things that shall not be mentioned right now. But it will be oh so interesting. Haa...And so begins the next chapter. Enjoy.

"Eh...?" Was the reply to be uttered past Gintoki's lips upon hearing the "big news" from the old hag herself.

Indirectly dragged from work by a phone call and to her office, he was faced with this "big news" coming from Otose, looking as serious about work as ever. And, unfortunately, this was about work. Like it would be about anything other than work if he had to be called out to the office. Couldn't she have just talked over the phone? About three minutes ago, Gintoki was sitting patiently in the old hag's office, awaiting for her to tell him why they had to meet face-to-face for this. Then, not too long after she lit up a cigarette and sat down in her "big boss" of a chair, she revealed the news that sent Gintoki into a pause of confusion. But only for a second-if that. Then... 

"Ehhhh?!" Then came the cry of total bafflement. 

Otose sighed a frustrated sigh, smoke drifting and dispersing in little spirals. 

"God...I should've known you'd act so shocked. I already told you about this last week. Idiot". 

"W-wait a minute...Wait a minute! Just gimme a minute...". 

"No, I will not give you a minute, ya lump! Haa...How many times do I have to repeat myself? Guess I'll need to do it one last time to get it through your thick skull". 

Otose sat back in her chair, continuing to smoke as she built up the will to say this one more time, hoping Gintoki would listen for once. 

"About a week ago...". She began. "We received an invitation to this event in Sapporo involving the Naoki Award, which you miserably lost. Despite that, we've been requested to attend a private party for the winners and the runners up, since this is an 80th anniversary party for the award's creation. Many people will be there, including winners for other prizes such as the Academy prize for film production, music and so on. Basically its a private event at an onsen where award-winners and their colleagues attend to make speeches and generally boast about their "great success'...". Anyway, we were invited since Shinsuke Takasugi won for our company-and that includes you, as a runner up". 

It was a lot of information to take in, even though he was informed about this event last week via e-mail, an invitation letter and a phone call from Otose herself. Gintoki said he was occupied with work and didn't pay much attention, but to Otose those were all just excuses. It was troublesome for her, but now it seemed to have gotten through to Gintoki now that they were facing eachother. Obviously, once the information did get through, Gintoki obviously wasn't pleased to hear it. 

"But, Granny...I don't wanna go to the event". 

"You're not beating around the bush, are ya? Why? Why don't you wanna go? Let me guess: it's boring, you're busy with work, you're gonna miss all your favourite shows and you wouldn't go to an event for Takasugi in a million years. Is that it?" 

Gintoki was silent. The old woman was one hundred percent correct on all accounts. He hated to admit it, so he was silent and still as he kept both hands neatly on his lap. Otose rolled her eyes. Of course she was right. She knew she was. With a squeak of her chair, Otose leaned in to clear the built up ash from her cigarette. 

"Look, Gintoki, I know you don't wanna go. To be honest, I'd rather stay at home too. But it is important that you attend at least one event for work. It'll be written in the newspapers of your attendance and the most trusted collegues will give you an interview, which will also be put in the paper. Your face and identity won't be revealed-we'll make sure of that-tye readers will love hearing words directly from their beloved "Gin" and the company will get a good reputation. Everybody wins".

"I don't win! Can't we just make up some bullshit that will excite the readers?" 

"No, because it'll obviously be fake. The only person that truely understand such a "complicated" and "mysterious" character such as "Gin" is you, the writer himself. It'll inspire people if they definitely know it's from you". 

"Aagh...What a pain in the ass...". Gintoki grumbled, lowering his head. 

He stared at the floor, contemplating whether he should attend this event or not. The answer was right in front of him, it had been on his mind ever since the old hag told him about it. A straight-forward, cold but honest, "no". He couldn't possibly go through with it unpess he truely benefitted from it. Otherwise he would be stuck in a crowded room with people who liked the pungent smell of their own sweat from working "oh-so-hard". Some of them-quite a few-worked hard at their job and made a decent living. But there were definitely others that had no personality when it came to their work. Gintoki understood this, and it pissed him off. 

"You know what?" Gintoki muttered, raising his head to look at Otose once more. "I'm not going". 

"Eh? Are you serious?" 

"Yeah, I'm serious. Attend a party with snobs and rich kids who obviously got a leg up from Daddy?...and Takasugi? Fuck that. No way am I going, and I'm definitely not giving any bastard an interview". 

"Gintoki, if you go, I will owe you something just as valuable. Maybe we can come to a negotiation?" 

"No way. You can't buy me-and that's saying something about Gin-san here". 

"Jesus, that is saying something. Well, I'll tell you this...It's starting in two days after a train ride to Sapporo, tomorrow. It's at an onsen, so there will be huge public baths, and a reserved suite for you". 

"And? So what?" 

"I hear they keep mini-fridges that store all sorts of sweet things, and alcohol". 

"W-well, I'm sure they do but...uh-I'm still not going. End of". 

"It is a hotel, and you're allowed to bring whoever you want. All expenses paid". 

"...? So? If that's the case, then I'd have to drag Kagura along. No thank you". 

"Gintoki...You can bring anyone, even that little lover I know you've got hiding". 

"...!" Gintoki eyes widened, shocked. Again, how did she know about that?! 

"Oh, don't gimme that look. I know you've been acting suspicious and you've been a little more productive than usual...". 

"Kagura told you, didn't she?" 

"Yup. A little bit". Of course. He should've known. Otose chuckled, grinning as she smoked. "A cop, eh? You into manly men like that, Gintoki? Hahaha...". 

"Agh! Shut it, ya old bat...It's none of your business". 

"Haha, aww, did I hurt your feelings? Hah, fruit". 

"Gaaah! Damn women and their gossip! Look, I am not...I'm not gay, alright?! It's just an intimate bromance I've got with Hijikata! Nothing else!" 

"Have ya done it yet?" 

"How many times have I gotta repeat myself?! It's no one's business! And...n-no...we haven't...W-we haven't done anything! Even if we did, I'm a topper! Always!" 

That was a lie. Not too long ago he bottomed for the first time and he actually...enjoyed it. It was frustrating to even admit that in his head, like writing an angry entry in your diary, closing it and keeping those angry thoughts to yourself for however long you choose to hold a grudge. 

"So...you have done it?" 

"N-no! We haven't! And we don't plan to! End of story! Bye-bye! See ya later!" 

Gintoki crossed his arms over in thought, his expression depicting his behaviour clearly. He was partially sulking over the endless gossip between Otose and Kagura. He thought it wouldn't be so bad if he had someone to go with, aside from Kagura. But Hijikata was usually so busy with work and they couldn't see eachother quite a few times because of it. Hell, they had only had sex twice. If he had someone to return to in the hotel room, then maybe it wouldn't be so bad. He could bear the long celebration that didn't techniqually involve him. He let out a deep sigh, an immediate sign that he had surrendered to Otose. 

"I'll...consider it. But if I go, you owe me big time. I won't say what I want yet, but when the right time comes I'll ask you for a huge favour in return. Got it, Granny?" 

"Yeah, I got it. Thanks, Gintoki. And the moment you're done-when I say so-you're done, and you won't have to stay at the party for much longer, alright?" 

"Fine. I just gotta make a quick phone call. See ya". 

Gintoki got up from the chair, exiting the office and heading for the phone by the break room. Once reached, he looked around the office to make sure that no one could possibly listen in. Everyone seemed occupied, so he could make the call in piece. He picked up the receiver, dialing the appropriate number that took him a whole day to memorise during varies other tasks. Standing against the wall, Gintoki waited as the phone hummed in his ear. He waited patiently, silently wishing for the phone on the other end to be answered. It took a few seconds, but Gintoki got his answer. 

["...Hello? Toushirou Hijikata here"]. 

"Yo, Hijikata-kun, it's been...how long? Three days since we last spoke? How are you?" 

["Gintoki? Hah, what's this all of a sudden? Aren't you supposed to be working?"] 

"Aren't you?" 

["I was in the middle of going over case files when you called, so yeah. I'm working. Um, whatever it is you wanna say, can you make it quick? I am kinda busy"]. 

"Hey, that's rude. Is it bad that I wanna talk to my bed-buddy at work?" 

["Could you stop calling it that? It's weird. Haa...Fine, though. What did you wanna talk about?"] 

"That's better. Ya see, I've been invited to this onsen in Sapporo for this event and I'm allowed to take as many people as I'd like, so...". 

["W-wait a minute, what's this event for?"] 

"The Naoki Prize. Apparently it's an anniversary or something-I dunno. So, anyway, I was wondering...if you're not busy tomorrow and the next day...uh, would you like to come? It's over two days and we'd be stayin' at a hotel. Ya know, just a thought". 

["Are you seriously inviting me?"] 

"Pfft, well, you're, like...uh, at the bottom of the barrel. It was either you or Sachan, amd we both know that I'd rather pick a mayo-addict like you over her, so...". 

Gintoki could hear a muffled chuckle over the line. How rare. Hijikata never laughs. 

["God...Um...Shit, this is a little awkward. I, er...I don't know if I'll be busy then. I could chekc with Kondo-san, but it's not likely"]. 

"...O-oh, okay. Sure. Whatever. Haha, I...I said you were at the bottom of the barrel, so it doesn't bother me. You're busy, I get it. Just do your job, Mr Policeman and...I'll see you when I see you". 

["...Yeah, I guess. Talk to you later"]. 

"Sure. See ya". 

Gintoki hung up, his heart pounding-a sinking feeling weighing down on it with every beat. Gintoki let out a deep sigh to relax himself, but it wasn't very effective. 

"...Idiot". He mumbled. 

Honestly, he couldn't figure out who was the bigger idiot. Hijikata or himself. He didn't understand why he would feel so disappointed at that. It was only Hijikata, after all. Sharing a room with him for two nights was unthinkable, really. Did he expect them to share a room? Obviously. Which, now just looked sad-as if he'd gotten his expectations up. He thought that, if that was the case, he would rather go himself anyway, aside from having Kagura come along. His head felt all mixed up inside. Ever since that night, Gintoki had felt strange. He felt like a teenager who was just denied a date. He was, kind of. How depressing. 

All that circulated in his mixed up thoughts was the notion that he should feel sad and disappointed that Hijikata couldn't come. On the exterior he would say "Pah! As if I'd be sad about that mayo-freak! Baka!" Or some other tsundere shenanigans like in anime. But, as an adult and a guy who had never had this kind of relationship with anyone before, he was disappointed. But it wasn't something to mope about. He would get over it in a few minutes anyway and go on the stupid trip without having to deal with the heavy heart of a teenage boy, thinking he just got dumped because he was denied of one date. Gintoki wasn't planning on going down that bumpy road. Hijikata had work, it couldn't be helped. Despite knowing this, and accepting it, he did feel that it wouldn't be too bad if he could go. Ah, well...Maybe they could go somewhere else whenever Hijikata had free time. Although it would probably be somewhere close to home. 

...

After spending most of the day bored from work, Gintoki made the effort to get up and pack for the trip. First thing in the morning, at seven. "Don't be late, ya bum", said the old hag. After telling Kagura the news about the trip, she seemed more enthusiastic than Gintoki ever will be about business trips of any sort. It was a weekend, aside from the half day on Saturday. The kid could go nuts for once. Gintoki double checked everything in his bag. It wasn't much, of course. Not like he would have to make room for condoms. He sighed at that depressing thought. When was the last time he even bought condoms? 

"Gin-chan...?" Just then, Kagura's voice entered Gintoki's bedroom with a creak of the already ajar door. "How come it's so dark in here?"

The lights flicked on suddenly, surprising Gintoki as the sudden ray of brightness nearly blinded him. 

"Ack...!" He cried, reflectively squeezing his eyes shut . 

"Hwoo...You're hopeless, aru. Are you seriously just packing?" 

"N-no, ya brat. Of course not. I'm double-checking everything. Are you all packed?" Gintoki asked, finally opening his eyes to face Kagura. 

"Yup, yup. All~ packed". She replied, standing proudly with her hands firmly on her slender hips. 

"You didn't pack much, did you?" 

"No~. What kinda girl do you take me for, aru? I just packed some clothes, a toothbrush, some snacks, my Nintendo-which is a must and...oh, yeah! A towel for the onsen". 

"Good. That's plenty". 

"Hey, Gin-chan, can Sadaharu really not come with us?" 

"No. That mutt has to stay with Otae until we come back. Let's just hope she doesn't kill him with her "cooking". Good luck, Sadaharu". 

"He'll be fine, won't he?" 

"Yes. Now shaddup and stop worrying. He's a big boy, he'll manage". 

"Hmm...Same to you, Gin-chan". 

Gintoki froze, looking to Kagura with a look of suspicion. 

"What's that supposed to mean?" 

"Oh, nothin'...". Kagura spoke innocently, her arms crossed. Well, that didn't last as a smug grin crossed her face. "Heh, I just think you'll be fine, even without Hijikata-san there with you". 

"Wha-How do you-...Agh! Damn old hag!"

Kagura giggled, approuching Gintoki in his kneeled-down position to lightly shove his arm. 

"I'm just making fun, Gin-chan. But I know you'd have much more fun if he was there, right~?" 

"Fun? I don't think that's the right word. No doubt we'd end up fighting or something. How about you?". 

"...? What do you mean, Gin-chan?" 

Gintoki pulled the same smug grin, pointing at Kagura as if in accusation. 

"Hey, hey, I bet you'd have much more fun if Okita-kun was there~, aru~". 

Suddenly, Kagura grabbed Gintoki by his natural perm, his expression quickly changing as the atmosphere did. 

"Shut it, asshole...". Kagura muttered, staring daggers at Gintoki like she wanted to kill him. "Like I'd ever have fun with that creep! Uuugh! Gin-chan~, that's gross~!" 

"Your personality is all over the place! Sort it out! Don't try to act cute after having such a terrifying look in your eyes! Geez, and let go of-...!". 

There was a sudden knock at the front door, both Gintoki and Kagura freezing in place at the sound. Who could that be at this time of night? 

"Agh, Kagura, do you mind getting that? I need to check if I'm going bald from all that hair-pulling". 

"Ugh, fine. Okay, okay~. Coming~!" 

Kagura called out, releasing Gintoki's hair before walking out of the bedroom and towards the front door. Gintoki rubbed the sore spot on his head, muttering incoherently to himself as the pain of having his hair pulled sunk in. He listened for Kagura to answer the door, just to prepare for whoever it was. He had a feeling but... 

("Oh, hey, Hijikata-san~"). Once his name was said, Gintoki stood up immediatly and made his way out of the room. "You here to see Gin-chan, aru?" 

"What's with that look? Don't try to look innocent, it's weird". 

"Asshole! Just be thankful I'm letting you date Gin-chan otherwise I'd...I'd-....!" 

Just as Kagura was on the verge of rage, Gintoki gripped both of her shoulders as a signal for her to stop. She did, lloking up to see Gintoki give her the suggestive look that simply said: "shut up and leave us alone for now". 

"Uh, Kagura-chan, do you mind? I'd like to speak to Hijikata for a moment. Why not go double-check your stuff?" 

"Sheesh, fine. I'll leave you two to flirt, aru". Kagura walked off at those words, sticking her pinky finger into her nose. 

Gintoki shook his head to himself before turning back to Hijikata, who had waited patiently for the two to finish spouting nonsense. 

"Hey...". Gintoki greeted casually, leaning against the door frame. "Long time no see, huh?" 

"It's only been a few days, and we talked earlier today, remember?" 

"Oh, yeah...". 

"Uh-hey, about that...I'm sorry that we can't see eachother as often because of work. It's...". 

"Hey, hey, don't worry about it. It doesn't bother me that much that you're busy working". 

"It...It doesn't?" 

"Well, I mean, there are times where I wanna see you but if I can't because of your job, or because of my job, I totally understand and I'm not gonna whine about it, am I?" 

"I guess not".

Hijikata appeared to be quite withdrawn, like he had expecting something otherwise what Gintoki had just said. Gintoki wouldn't complain about being unable to see Hijikata. They had only been dating for a few weeks, which in an adult relationship would be at the stage of "being hot all the time" and being all over eachother. However, in these circumstances, that wasn't possible. One, they were both guys so getting all hot and botuered constantly was a very uncomfortable thought unless they were both originally homosexual and could get easily excited about such things. Two, they were in their late twenties so they had already reached a certain decline of strength and sexual energy. Three, they had only slept together twice and were still very inexperienced. Four-last but not least-it was Gintoki and Hijikata. So the idea of them rutting like two teenagers was unthinkable. The type of sex they had thus far was vannila and nice-painful...but nice. 

At Hijikata's slightly bashful reaction, Gintoki pulled a devious little smirk. How he longed to at least tease Hijikata for his shyness and lack of confidence in intimacy. 

"What's the matter? It bother you?" 

"What? N-no...". 

"Haha, I think it does~. You miss me, Hijikata-kun~". 

"Shut up. Who the hell would miss you when it's only been a few days?!" 

"So if I was gone longer, you'd miss me?" 

"Hell no!" 

"Don't be shy now. What part of me would you miss the most? I'm curious to know". 

"I wouldn't miss you, ya jackass! If you're gonna be that way, I'll just head into work tomorrow instead of coming on your trip". 

Gintoki paused, those words striking him as soon as they were said from a sulking Hijikata. 

"Wait, what did you say?" 

Hijikata sighed deeply, breaking away from his little sulk. 

"Um...Well, I told Kondo-san that I had been invited to go to Sapporo, just as conversation. Then he smiled, gave me a pat on the back and said I could go, if I wanted. He said that I needed the break and that it couldn't hurt to take two little days off work to relax and have fun for once. I thought about it and, since you offered, I...". 

"You wanna come?" 

"...Sure, why not? If it's with you, I don't really mind". 

"Great. Daww, I knew you couldn't bear another night without me~". 

"Will you knock it off, you ass?! I said I'll go...and it isn't because I'd...you know...". 

"Miss me?" 

"Yeah-but I wouldn't! This is a break from my job!" 

"Okay, okay. Relax, I get it. You look tired. Wanna come in for a little bit?" 

"I have to pack, don't I?" 

"That can wait". 

"You can wait. Look, it'll take a few moments and then I'll come back and we can spend some time together. Be right back". 

Hijikata left, going straight for his own apartment in haste to pack his stuff. The sinking feeling had lifted, knowing that Hijikata was going too. Now he didn't have to feel like an idiot for the disappointment that previously plagued his thoughts. Although, it seemed quite clear that Hijikata was also an idiot. Gintoki hid a chuckle just thinking about Hijikata fretting over not seeing him for a while. It was...sweet and different to what Gintoki usually got from anyone of romantic interest-and most of that was totally one-sided. Gintoki was the one to like, not be liked. He had gotten used to that, so it felt odd when another person felt these things about him in return. Was this something to get used to? 

... 

Warm. A familiar warmth snuggled up to Gintoki as the bright sunlight cues brought him back to consciousness. Although awake, he lingered around this warmth and the scent of cigarettes, among something else. Gintoki brushed his nose against this smell, within silky locks, trying to find the natural scent. It didn't take long for Gintoki to let out a relaxed sigh, swaying strands of hair tickling his lips and nose. It was peaceful and quiet, if but for a few moments longer before the alarm beckoned him to wake up with it's constant, annoying beeping. Gintoki groaned, unable to ignore the noise even if he had shut out the entire room in darkness. He could feel Hijikata shift and fidget under the discomforting sound of Gintoki's alarm clock. He prefered being woken up by a person compared to this. 

"Ugh...Shaddup...". 

He muttered, sitting up and twisting his body around to cease the loud noise that rang out in his ears. With one click of a button, silence had once again filled the room. Despite the signal that told him to get out of bed, Gintoki turned back and once again lay down with Hijikata in his arms. Being in such a comfortable position was almost an excuse for the him to give up and go back to sleep. Hijikata, as strange as it was, didn't have the motivation to get up because of this rare warmth that embraced and cuddled him under cosy blankets with a second set of toes curling and brushing against his. To wake up now, it would ruin it. Well, in fact, the day was prepared for such idleness. 

The bedroom door slammed open and the matress sank and creaked within seconds. 

"Good-mor-ning, Gin-chan~! Wakey-wakey~!" 

Kagura...of course. For so early in the morning, she had a lot of energy. Either she slept plenty that night or didn't sleep at all due to the excitement. The two lazy-bones, snuggled together, opened their eyes, Hijikata seemingly more prepared to get up and function compared to the biggest lazy-bones out of all three of them, Gintoki. As Hijikata sat up, stretching and yawning, Gintoki continued to lay in bed. With empty arms, his heart sank and things got colder at Hijikata's abscence. This was proof enough that even just the cuddling was nice, even without sex the night before. Of course they couldn't do it. Kagura was literally right next door! 

"Are you two done snuggling? Good. Then let's go!" 

Kagura hopped off of the bed, heading back to the main room. At that, Gintoki found the strength to get up as well. He yawned quite heavily, stretching his arms up to relieve the strain in his back. 

"Haaaah....Man, I'll never understand that girl. Kids are too energetic these days". He grumbled, reaching under his shirt to scratch an irritated spot across his side. 

"Tell me about it". Hijikata replied, remembering Sougo's unusual burst of energy during the morning's of work. Something to envy, at Hijikata's age. 

Being the most used to it, Hijikata had built up the will and strength to get out of bed and start the morning. It was early, but it wasn't as if he hadn't woken up at the earliest before. Hijikata joined Kagura in the kitchen, who was getting out the appropriate ingredients to prepare a traditional breakfast. 

"What are you doing, China Girl? You plan to cook?" 

"Yep. Don't underestimate me. I was taught a few things in school about cooking. So it's no big deal". 

"Want a hand? Er, with Gintoki's permission to use your kitchen, of course". 

Hijikata turned back to see Gintoki drag his feet out from the bedroom, letting out yet another yawn. 

"Hhaaah...Yep, yep, knock yourself out". He simply answered, heading straight for the fridge at a steady and sluggish pace.

While Hijikata voluntarily assisted Kagura with breakfast, Gintoki opened up the fridge and took out a carton of strawberry milk. He figured that it was the best way to regain his energy, believing that calcium was the solution to any physical or mental strain. Not bothering to get a glass, he opened it up and gulped down whatever was left inside the carton. He gasped away, feeling somewhat refreshed. He licked his lips, shaking the carton gently to see if there was any left. None. He sighed at the relief, shifting his gaze over towards Hijikata and Kagura. 

"Oi, will you two be okay with making up breakfast?" 

"Uh-huh...". Kagura answered, cracking a few eggs to make, what Gintoki assumed to be, tamogoyaki or maybe just fried eggs. 

"Fine. Hijikata, keep an eye on her, make sure nothing's burnt or destroyed. And, Kagura, keep an eye on Hijikata. Make sure that he doesn't try to sneak in any mayonnaise". 

"Roger, roger, Gin-chan". 

"Oi! Why the hell did you add that last part as if I'm a child?! And what do you mean "destroyed"?! Is the China Girl some sort of monster?!" 

"Yeah, the worst kind. Late at night she sneaks into the fridge and steals my pudding". 

"And I told you, Gin-chan: that wasn't me, aru". 

"I could smell it on your breath ya little twerp!" 

"You pickin' a fight?! I'll beat the crap outta you, pudding-freak!" 

"Small fry!" 

"Mayo-licker". 

"What did you just call me?!" 

"What kind of disfunctional family is this?!" Hijikata butt in, sighing deeply before continuing to keep an eye on the skillet that Kagura was trusted to handle. "Hey, China Girl, pay attention to the skillet, otherwise you'll burn the eggs". 

"Yes, Mama". 

"Who're you callin' "Mama"?! I'm a man!" 

"Oops, sorry, Step-Step-Papi". 

"That isn't any better! It doesn't even make any sense! Who's your first Step-Dad?" 

Disfunctional, indeed. But, looking at the scene in front of him, Gintoki realised it was quite fun to watch. 

"Hey, Kagura,". He began, approuching the two from the back to check up on the pleasnt-smelling food. "Have you taken a bath yet? I wanna go soon and get ready for this trip". 

"I've been already, so you can go ahead, aru". 

"Thanks. Oh, Hijikata, you can actually go first, seein' as you're kinda a guest and all". 

"That's a rather informal and half-assed way of putting it. Anyway, you can go. I don't mind". 

"Nah, nah, you head in first". 

"No, I-...". 

"Ugh! Why don't you both go and stop being such big babies?!" Kagura's argument was unexpected and quite bold. So, they were both caught off gaurd by this.

"Wha-...I...K-Kagura-chan, that's...not a bad idea, actually". 

"Haah...?!" Hijikata was astonished by Gintoki's sudden acceptance of that idea. Gintoki gave him a look that made it seem like Hijikata was the weird one. But that wasn't the case. 

"Hijikata, there's nothing wrong with it. It's just a bath". 

"I know, but...". 

"What, are you embarass-". 

"Don't say it in front of the China Girl". 

"The Mayor'a's embarrassed~". Kagura teased, smirking. 

"You're just as bad as he is! N-no, you know what, I'll just go first. Gintoki, you handle breakfast while I'm gone". 

"Sure, go right ahead". 

With red cheeks, Hijikata headed for the bathroom. With him gone, Gintoki and Kagura could smirk and snicker to themselves. Hijikata was right: they were just as bad as eachother. 

"Kagura-chan, you're so mean to Hijikata". 

"I'm not the one dating him. And I bet you tease him way~ more". 

"Don't say that like he's a helpless little kid. He's a big boy, he just...Well, I'm not gonna say it. I think we ruined his pride enough for one morning". 

What Gintoki wanted to say was how Hijikata gets embarrassed easily. And it was true, although it certainly wasn't a bad thing. Everyone gets embarrassed, even over little things. He even blushed the last time they slept together. It was quite cute, actually. They were at a point where they could say that they had done this and that, but not everything. They were still learning how to give eachother pleasure in different and exciting ways. Gintoki even put up with the embarrassment of doing internet researchs on kamasutra for men, and only men. It was odd, at first, and Gintoki kept himself from learning anything because he was more used to reading other magazines or just watching Ketsuno Ana's news reports. So, he could get embarrassed about stuff, although Gintoki was a lot more discreet about it and wisely kept those feelings to himself. 

"Hey, Gin-chan, do you actually like Hijikata-san now?"

"Hm? What do ya mean?" 

"Whatcha think I mean? Before you were all defensive and said that you only liked certain things about him, mm-hm. So, are you, like, totally lovey-dovey now?" 

"That's a bit of an exaggeration. Is there any use keeping it from you?" 

"Nope. None". 

Gintoki sighed deeply. He was conscious of the fact that he wasn't embarrassed about all of this. Kagura was right: he was quite defensive about his relationship with Hijikata beforehand. But now it didn't seem like too much of a big deal anymore, even in front of Kagura. 

"Haah...Fine. We do...have these feelings of "like", I suppose. I mean, it's not as if we're completely okay. We still get annoyed at eachother and there have been a few occassions where we fight over stupid stuff". 

"Isn't that what normal couples do?" 

Gintoki shrugged at that. 

"I wouldn't know. From what I've heard, yeah, it's pretty normal. But you've seen how me and that mayo-addict quarrel. "Couples" don't quarrel that way, now do they?" 

"Hmmn...Still...".

Kagura didn't choose to add anything to that affect, continuing to cook with ease-as she was taught. No need to be afraid, because that's how accidents happen in the kitchen. That and from being too cocky. So which was it? Which was worse? Being cautious or confident? At that thought, the skillet chose the perfect time to spit oil at Kagura, landing on her delicate skin. She jumped, crying out in pain as she swiftly grabbed her scalded hand. Gintoki sighed, lowering the heat on the stove in order to tend to Kagura's wound. 

"Haah, c'mere, dummy. We should run this under cold water. How bad does it hurt?" 

"Ack...N-not that bad. It's fine, actually. It just...surprised me". 

"Don't try to act tough. Now gimme your hand". 

Although reluctant and shy about exposing any weakness to Gintoki, Kagura held out her hand to him-which was clearly trembling with pain. Gintoki held her wrist under the faucet, easing the pain with rapidly running cold water. This kid was prone to such tiny accidents. Whether it was a scrape or bump on the head, Gintoki was the one to aid Kagura in whatever way seemed possible for particular incedents. Not that he minded, it just stirred up some familiar memories from childhood. 

"Thanks...Gin-chan". Kagura muttered, shifting her gaze as not to make eye-contact with Gintoki. 

She was just as bad as Hijikata, getting embarrassed over silly things. Sure there was a large gap between them when defining the word "silly" in such context, but it was still silly nonetheless. Tsundere characters banzai~! 

... 

Gintoki, Hijikata and Kagura waited patiently at the right station for their train to come along. Sapporo was ten hours away from Tokyo, meaning that Hijikata had to stand further away within the smoking area before he had to face ten hours of abstinence from his precious brand of cigarettes. It would surely be hellish for him. Gintoki would know, being the guy that got through it and quit smoking when he did. If that didn't happen, he would be just like Hijikata. Or, at least, he would still be like Hijikata when it came to such filthy habits. In Gintoki's perspective, however, it was a filthy habit to be missed. 

"Man~, this train is takin' forever. Gin-chan, how much longer~?" 

"Ten minutes. Hijikata should finish his cigarette by then. I think we both know how hard it'll be for him to last ten hours sitting still, without a single cigarette". 

"Ten hours is a long time. That's why I brought Tamagotchi Life and Animal Crossing". 

"I never understood those video games. It's all "trusting yourself with a human life", mortgage, captitalism. Ya know, real life shit that we all try to get away from". 

"Hey, Gin-chan, who else is coming on this trip?" 

"Zura, the old hag and us. There's also Takasugi, who will be bringing the cockroach lolicon from Terraformers and the loose hinge of his little clique". 

"Blondey not comin'?" 

"She's an intern, like Shinpachi, so I don't think she has any business being there". 

"Good. She's a real pain in the ass for me". 

"Oi, watch your language". 

"Says you". 

"I'm a grown-up. It's different".

Kagura sighed at that. That seemed like an excuse parents use whenever they accidentally swear in front of their children. A bad word is still a bad word, no matter who says it. But then what's so bad about it? Hijikata soon returned, reeking of cigarette smoke. Kagura made sure to stay at arm's length, her body language clearly conveying disgust towards Hijikata's dirty habit. Hijikata let out a heavy sigh of relief, knowing that there was a good chance he wouldn't make it ten hours without another cigarette unless he slept through it. But then he would have to trust Gintoki to wake him up when they arrived. 

"Better...?" Gintoki asked Hijikata, quite casually. 

"Much better...".

"I've gotta tell ya, maybe you should consider cutting down? I mean, you're addicted enough as it is, but you'll end up killing yourself if this continues". 

"Sounds like you're worrying about me". 

"And what if I am, just a little bit? Does that embarrass you?" 

"...Not really".

Hijikata's indifference showed that he was prepared for Gintoki to spout embarrassing comments or remarks. He obviously hated being teased and simply wanted to be ready for any embarrassing thing Gintoki came up with to say. They were adults, it was only natural that they tried to keep their composure as much as possible. In the midst of this, they didn't realise that they were being approuched by two familiar figures. 

"There you guys are. We were wondering if you were gonna miss the train or not". 

Heads turned, but the voice was recognisable. Otose, and with her was Tama, oddly enough. 

"Well, we're here, aren't we?" Gintoki responded in an instant, like he was used to such remarks from Otose. He was, of course. "But, Tama, how come you're here?" 

"Ah, Otose-san invited me as her plus one. I said that I wouldn't want to trouble her but...". 

"The girl doesn't know how to make selfish decisions". Otose interupted, calmly but not harshly. "You should get away from work and try to have fun once in a while". 

"I...suppose. I understand that it will only be for two days, but I will miss Gengai-sama and his machines". 

"Tama-san, you're way too attached to those". 

Gintoki found it odd for a girl to be so attached to machinery-not to generalise people's interests-but looking at Tama, you wouldn't be able to see her as a machine-loving type. She was quite fascinated by old man Gengai's work, as if the things he made were living beings that were able to feel emotion. 

"So, Gintoki...". Otose began, hiding a sneer behind her hand. "Aside from Kagura, is this your plus one?" 

Otose leaned forward slightly in order to take a good look at Hijikata, who suddenly felt withdrawn due to the old lady's stares, as if she was Gintoki's mother. Gintoki sighed, scratching the back of his head, already defeated since she already found out about them. 

"Yeah, yeah, now could you not stare at him weirdly? You're like my mother or something".

"Please do us both a favour and never refer to me as your mother, even if you're not serious". 

"To be honest, you're close enough. Is anyone else coming on this trip with us or is this it?" 

"Nope, this is everybody. I'm sure Takasugi will have already arrived. He's surely taking a different train car. Business class, most likely". 

"That sounds about right". Gintoki muttered that, once again taking the opportunity to insult Takasugi for being a little rich kid. 

There was a signal, an echo that rang throughout the station before the automated voice played to declare the next arrival. Their train was coming up to the station. At that, as people began to crowd around the platform, Gintoki and the other four grabbed their bags and joined the crowd as they awaited the train. Ten hours. That would take them right into the afternoon. Because of this, for some reason, all Gintoki could think about was sleeping on the train before they would arrive. He didn't usually sleep in public places, but the thought of sitting still for ten hours was dire to simply imagine. Sleep was a comfort to anybody. To just close your eyes and get lost in a dream was amazing. Most inactive people, such as Gintoki, looked forward to going to bed at night. And despite the public place, Gintoki longed to fall asleep on the train, using Hijikata's broad shoulder as a pillow. It was a nice thought that left him feeling at ease. 

The train slowly pulled up to the station before stopping dead at the platform. It paused, taking a moment to ease, before the beeping of the doors signaled that each one was about to open. A flood of people exited right before another flood of people entered. Just as Gintoki was about to enter, bag slung over his shoulder, he caught a glimpse of a familiar figure entering the train from the farthest distance. And, no, it wasn't Takasugi. In this crowd, he would be too short to spot. It was his editor, Bansai, standing tall at 5,10. Obviously Takasugi was with him, and that weird lolicon. 

"Come on~, Gin-chan! Get on already". 

Gintoki snapped back into conscious thought, immediatly boarding the train at Kagura's commanding tone. He followed her into one of the cars, swiftly putting his bag on one of the shelves above the seats before taking a seat beside Hijikata, while Kagura took up two seats for herself and her bag. Upon sitting down, the train doors on all sides shut and the noise of the train station was blocked out behind glass and metal. Gintoki leaned his head back, inhaling deeply as he relaxed before exhaling and allowing all his built up tension to drift away. To get up so early in the morning was what made him tense in the first place. It wouldn't be long until they started moving, though. Hijikata, for the time being, seemed quite relaxed-only because he just had a cigarette. Gintoki dreaded the familiar withdrawl symptoms that haunted him for months on end. He understood, so he wouldn't exactly complain if Hijikata suddenly became edgier and angrier than usual. Good thing Gintoki planned to sleep through most of the trip. 

... 

The train was still for a few minutes more, the sight outside of the window the exact same as it was for the past five minutes. It was totally a coincedence that Takasugi also felt the need to sleep before they would eventually arrive in Sapporo. Of course he wouldn't know that Gintoki felt the same, but let's just leave it at that. Upon sitting down by the window, Takasugi felt weary and longed to close his other eye and drift off. But he had a bad feeling he would end up having a restless sleep and have a stupid nightmare in the middle of the trip. The only confidence he had to not have a nightmare was supported by the fact that Bansai was sitting with him. He didn't know what it was about Bansai being there, but whenever he slept in the same bed or on the sofa with him the nightmares remained at bay. Aside from that, the most stress he felt was leaving Kitty with Kijima for the two days that they would be gone. He didn't care much for the ceremony or the award. He was totally indifferent.

When the train finally began to pull away from the station, Takasugi shifted his gaze over to Bansai who was only just turning off his phone. He must have been speaking to that Terakado girl. Or "Otsuu", was it? Takasugi didn't care much for pop idols, but refrained from saying that out loud as it was a part of Bansai's job, as a producer. He worked hard in both jobs, seemingly persuing two passions-his music and being by Takasugi's side. Bansai stuffed his phone into his pant's pocket before leaning back in his chair. 

"Was that from work?" Takasugi asked, curious. 

Receiving the slightest hint that Takasugi had just spoken to him, Bansai pulled off his headphones, which played his usual genre of music, to listen carefully. 

"Excuse me, what was that, Shinsuke?" 

"I was just wondering if you were discussing work over your phone". 

"Of course. That's the only relationship I have with Tsuu-chan: work. That's the only time I talk to her: over the phone or through texts. She was just saying goodbye since I won't be around to discuss her new songs or concerts". 

"Ah, I see. Do you plan to work while we're in Sapporo? Although, I suppose it is technically work". 

"Aside from the ceremony, I don't plan to do anymore work. I can start songwriting when we go home". 

"That's true, but I wouldn't keep you from doing your work. It's a wonder how you can keep up two jobs". 

Bansai chose to keep two jobs, despite their current financial situation-that being better than most people have in a lifetime. He voluntarily took on two jobs which involved one of his passions and the other was a way to assist Takasugi in his work-which Bansai gladly did. As well as that, Bansai still did chores and helped out around the house whenever he had the time. But, lately, because of this, it seemed that the time Bansai could spend with Takasugi was slowly decreasing-and Takasugi wouldn't complain because it was work. 

"I do try," Bansai replied. "...but I daresay it can prove to be quite challenging". 

"I can understand that. You work for most of the day and the evening, you do chores around the house, you do grocery shopping, etc...". 

"It's not just about the amount of work that I do in order to make a living". 

"...?" 

"It's...challenging because we only get to spend a few hours together most days. We're both quite busy, after all". 

"That can't be helped. I suppose we'll be together for most of this trip anyway, although it is for work. What a pain". 

It was something to complain about, having to attend this event for work, staying at this onsen for mostly work, receiving interviews for work, being around mind-numbingly stuck-up bastards for work. It was all irrelevant. Even while away from the office and away from the usual routine, Takasugi and Bansai would have so little privacy that it wouldn't feel like they were staying at a hotel. And it truely pissed Takasugi off. He could admit that his most relaxing moments were with Bansai, and he could admit that this ongoing relationship they had was pleasant-yet they barely had any time to spend together. The only time they would have on this trip was during the day, although they wouldn't exactly have a lot of alone time, and late at night after the party-a time when they would both be tired. That was inevitable and annoyingly unavoidable. 

"That bothers you?" Bansai asked, curious. 

"Of course it does...Why?" 

Takasugi grew suspicious of the smile that appeared on Bansai's face-if for but a second as he cleared his throat. He composed himself, replying behind his hand in case he was still smiling. 

"Nothing, Shinsuke". 

What the hell? Takasugi couldn't believe he had such a cosy relationship with Bansai. It seemed so unreal, yet if it wasn't real he wouldn't feel this light-hearted. Thinking about it gave him goosebumps, which were hidden behind his clothing-thank god. Bansai was clearly glad that Takasugi could be serious about the relationship they created. But he wasn't as serious as to throw around certain words such as "lovers". They were that, just...not out loud. 

... 

About half an hour into the train ride, and Gintoki was already feeling the boredom of having to sit still and watch the whole world fly by through a window. It caused a rather depressing thought to drift in and out of thought. Watching the world fly past him was like old age; it's gone before you have any time to appreciate it. He sat back, taking his eyes off the view for a while. Hijikata had been quiet, which only just peaked Gintoki's curiosity. Upon turning towards him, Gintoki saw Hijikata reading-reading his book as a way of killing time without thinking about cigarettes. Fair enough. It was his most recent novel too, already labeled as a best-seller on the front cover. Must have been a recent print-out of the book, just so they could label it as a best-seller before it was even a year since its release. 

"That's quite shameless". Gintoki muttered, smirking. "I never thought that you would read one of my books right in front of me". 

"I was planning to keep it for the hotel". Hijikata responded, taking his eyes from the book for a mere moment. "I figured that I'd have a lot of time to kill while you were at the party, so I wanted to bring it until you got back. Never realised that I would be sitting here for ten hours with nothing to do-so it can't be helped". 

"You like it so far?" 

"Haa...You're so full of yourself". 

"Ahn? What did I say? I'm just curious". 

"You know what I'm gonna say, so why ask?" 

"What, that it's an incredibly enjoyable book that captivates you within the first word, knowing that dear Gin-san, your favourite author, created it? You flatter me, Hijikata-kun~". 

Gintoki acted bashful, wearing a face that was obviously an attempt to be cute-although he knew it wasn't very cute in the first place. And of course these words were spoken in a low volume, so no one else could hear. 

"You really are full of yourself. And I'm not flattering you. I do...admire your work. It's...fun to read". 

Gintoki chuckled, seeing Hijikata's flushed face. 

"There's no need to get all embarrassed. What are ya? A kid telling his crush that he likes her?" 

"Shut it, I'm not embarrassed". 

"Haha, I think this cute little blush says otherwise". To be an even bigger tease, Gintoki affectionately brushed his knuckles to Hijikata's cheek and, of course, it was hot and as red as an apple. Due to that action, the bright red blush spread to Hijikata's ears like wild fire. Bashful, Hijikata slapped Gintoki's hand away. 

"Knock it off". Hijikata sounded quite stern, to which Gintoki retracted his hand and backed away with a disappointed expression. 

Hijikata hated that he could get embarrassed over the little things, whereas Gintoki remained collected and confident. It was irritating-not because Gintoki could be confident, but that Hijikata found himself in a position where he was unable to match up to that. He wasn't used to being so forward and often got embarrassed when someone he liked-which was only two people in his whole life-was forward towards him. 

"What's the matter? Do you hate being teased that much?" 

"Wouldn't anyone? Haa, I'm getting all irritated over nothing, aren't I?" 

"It's not nothing, I shouldn't be teasing you since I know how easy you are to embarrass". 

"I'm not...I'm not embarrassed. It's just unexpected when you act so forward towards me, and I'm unprepared for that". 

"Is that something you won't be able to get used to?" 

"...Of course not. I'm sure I can get used to any crap you pull". 

"Oh? Wanna bet?"

"No, not really". 

"Ah, c'mon~. I bet that you'll still get all flustered whenever I make the first move-or even when you make the first move by, oh say, the end of this trip?" 

"Are you serious about this?" 

"Totally. Oh, and as a bonus, we'll see if you can make me get embarrassed just as much with any method of your choosing". 

"Anything? Mm...Okay, but I want to add a condition to this: I top". 

"That's your condition? Okay, okay. Then I'll add a little condition: if I manage to make you're whole face bright red-with stammering and everything-I get to do whatever I want the next time I'm on top. Anything...If you win...Well, you can decide on that". 

That was quite ominous, as well as the sadistic grin on Gintoki's face as he uttered those devious words. Gintoki held out his hand, to be shaken in agreement of this silly wager. Hijikata wasn't one to take the kind of risk that would possibly humiliate him if he lost-but he wasn't one to turn down a challenge either, especially if it was from a smug bastard like Gintoki. He had a bad feeling he would regret this, but there was a 50/50 chance he would get his way if he did things correctly. Hesitant, but willing, Hijikata shook Gintoki's hand. As soon as he did, he suddenly got the notion that he had plummeted into a dark abyss known as Gintoki's trap. Hijikata knew he would be at a disadvantage, but there was no way he could take this back without looking like a coward. 

"Alright. Glad to hear that you accept my little challenge, Hijikata-kun. Hoho, this should be fun". 

That smirk was far too ominous. Almost scary. Aside from Sougo, Gintoki was a lord of sadism-although seemingly more in a sexual sense. If Hijikata lost this stupid bet he would be faced with seeing the deepest, darkest realms of a sadists imagination through unspeakable things. There was no telling what Gintoki had up his sleeve, and Hijikata was determind not to find out. 

... 

Three hours in the trip and Hijikata began to feel the heat of withdrawl symptoms. It wasn't too bad, but he could feel the urge to smoke growing stronger. And for someone who quit just a few months earlier, Gintoki, on the other hand, was totally fine. He continued to stare out of the window, a stick of strawberry flavoured Pocky between his lips. He nibbled contently, savouring eat little bite as his mind wandered aimlessly in a mist of thought that no one could read. He could have been thinking about anything, careless, while Hijikata was beginning to feel the stress and Kagura, in the seats beside them, began to gradually feel the boredom that is an ordeal for any child her age. She sighed a heavy sigh, getting sick of catching fish and bugs and paying a mortgage within her capitalistic video game that was Animal Crossing. Wasn't that a kid's game? 

"Gin-chan~, how much longer?" 

"Seven hours". Gintoki answered bluntly, hearing Kagura's boredom in her voice reminding him how bored he was. "Agh, such a pain. It isn't even noon yet. Granny, are you still alive over there?...? Granny?" 

The silence surprised even Gintoki, his attention peaked as the old hag didn't answer him. No way...Was she really...? 

"Oh, Otose-san is napping, it seems". Tama answered, spreading some relief among the other three. "I didn't even realise. This face mask is quite convincing". 

Otose was fast asleep, wearing a face mask as if to cover up the fact that she was sleeping. It had eyes on the design and everything. Gintoki let out a deep sigh in disbelief that he almost thought that the old hag was dead. From what? Boredom? That's why it was so ridiculous for him to worry. Although, Gintoki was just under half Otose's age and he could just as easily die of boredom. He swiftly grabbed another Pocky stick from the box, nibbling it between his lips and teeth. As he did, he looked back to Hijikata who was clearly struggling to even breathe without a cigarette. Even for Gintoki, someone who recently quit smoking, he honestly thought that it was sad to watch-even after watching the same heart-breaking scene through a goddamn mirror for two or three months. Quiting is hard and makes working or doing anything in general complete hell. The worst part for Hijikata, however, was that he wasn't quiting. He was still smoking but was suffering like a person who was currently going cold-turkey for the deadly sticks of nicotine that poisoned your lungs and generally ones lifestyle-not to judge those who smoke, we're just saying... 

"How you holdin' up there?" Gintoki asked Hijikata, quickly proving that such a question was as helpful as a sandpaper towel. And that's just sandpaper. 

"I'll be alright, just for a little longer. Fuck..I need to distract myself somehow. Any ideas?" 

Gintoki thought about it, looking towards his box of Pocky to supposedly find the answer within the pink carton and silver wrapping paper that came with it. Then he did. He brought out the strawberry goodness, handing it over to Hijikata. 

"Here. I used these as a way of quiting, like a distraction from smoking. Although this is partly the reason why my blood sugar rose tremendously, but it was better than rotting my lungs any further". 

Hijikata accepted the gesture, desperate to take his mind of his usual source of relief-the cigarette. He placed it between his lips, the taste of strawberry invading his taste buds rather than the taste of smoke and tobacco. His tongue felt numb, as if he was trying to trick his body into accepting it as a cigarette-and it wasn't working. With the treat between his lips, being rolled around against his lips, the strawberry chocolate began to melt in his mouth. He didn't realise right away, his mind totally focused on other things as he so desperately tried his hardest to forget about cigarettes for the next six or seven hours. What an ordeal...What an ordeal! 

"Oi, Hijikata, you might wanna eat that...Hijikata-kun~, it's gonna get soggy if you leave it without eating it. Oi! Are you listening?"

Gintoki did fail to mention that he would eat sweets as a distraction from withdrawl rather than use them as an artificial substitute for cigarettes. So seeing Hijikata practically waste his gesture was irritating, considering Gintoki's love for sweets and the fact that he was alawys taught not to waste. So, in his frustration, Gintoki took hold of the biscuit half of the Pocky stick, snapping it off from the other half and sliding it past his lips to munch on casually, much to Hijikata's astonishment. He didn't expect that-such a fact clear on his features. He was speechless, swallowing the melted chocolate that had built up in his mouth, along with saliva. It was the most casual gesture, something that wasn't worth getting embarrassed over. So Hijikata composed his thoughts and simply reached for another Pocky stick. He techniqually already had permission, so he wished to help himself as long as it eased the stress. Gintoki didn't mind, of course. One more wasn't a big deal.

"Take it easy there". Gintoki muttered. "I don't think you want a high blood sugar, like me". 

"I don't think that'll happen with teo pieces of candy". 

"You say that now, but before you know it you're sitting in your doctor's office when he or she tells you that you can only eat a parfait once a week". 

"Uh-...huh. Okay...I'll be careful, then". 

"Are you humoring me, you bastard? I hate having to only eat one parfait a week-eve less than that because of work! You only eat mayo on everything-and you have a fast metabolism-so it doesn't effect you!" 

"Don't insult mayo. I'll beat the crap outta you. It also doesn't help that you put sweet beans on rice. That could kill someone". 

"Are you seriously bringing this up now?! Besides, your dog food would send anyone to an early grave just from the look of it!" 

"Bastard, you started it!" 

Were they really doing this now? A seven-hour train ride didn't need this. Kagura sat back in her chair, curling up and trying her best to block out the noise of two ranting idiots. As she closed her eyes she thought that maybe they were more lovey-dovey when alone. In a weird way, though, she considered that their fights were also a sign that they were quite close. Just an odd thought, as well as many others that went through Kagura's mind on a daily basis. Couldn't have been stranger than the two idiots known as Gin-chan and Mayora. They really were oddballs. 

... 

By the time they reached their stop, it was already five in the afternoon. If Granny hadn't brought those bento boxes then they would have been screwed. Although fed, they were exhausted from such a long trip. Standing at the platform, bag slung over his shoulder, Gintoki let out a long, awaited yawn that squeezed water from his eyes. Sleeping in such an uncomfortable chair left his muscles feeling tight and his back sore. He scratched the back of his head, the rough material from the trains chairs causing irritation to his scalp. As soon as Hijikata gpt off the train, he wasted no time to find a smoking area outside to light up. Kagura dragged her feet to the platform, clinging to Gintoki's arm as if she was about to fall over, fatigued. 

"Gin-chan, I'm tired and my legs hurt from sitting too long and I have to go to the bathroom~. Will you gimme a piggy-back ride? Pwwease?" Her needy tone would have been hilarious, or Gintoki would have put up more of a fight if he wasn't so tired. 

"Haah, okay, but go use the restroom first". 

"Thanks, Gin-chan. I'll be right back". 

"Don't wander off anywhere else, it's crowded. Ah, Tama, why don't you go with her? We'll meet you at the exit". 

"Yes, of course, Gintoki-sama. Come on, Kagura-chan". 

The two girls left for the restroom, leaving Gintoki and Otose to go find Hijikata before heading to the exit. The old hag muffled a laugh behind her hand. 

"What's so funny?" He asked, suspicious. 

"It's nothing. I was just thinking that you're quite protective of Kagura, aren't you? Never could imagine you as a father-figure, but here you are". 

"It's not like I'm intending to be like her dad. Kagura has her own old man, but the baldy isn't even around to take care of her. I dunno...I guess I'm as good as it gets, even if I never really had a dad around-so it's not like I know what I'm doing". 

"Oh, hush. Looks like you're doing just fine to me. She really looks up to you, ya know. Hah, don't tell her I said that". 

"...Y-yeah, I won't. Thanks, Granny".

To be a father figure sounded like a bigger responsibility than one would think. Ever since Kagura barged into his life, Gintoki held the responsibility of looking after her. Feeding her, clothing her, making sure she went to school, helping out with homework and studying, going to school festivals with her, piggey-back rides, along with many other dad-like qualities that Gintoki could never imagine having. Too late, it seemed. Within a couple years of knowing and taking care of Kagura, he had done all of those dad-like things without a sedond thought. He couldn't help it. Kagura's puppy-dog eyes and charm could help her get any man she wanted in the future. Like hell he'd allow Kagura to introduce a boy while she was still in junior high school. Ah. He was doing it again. Dammit! The role of substitute dad was growing on him way too quickly! 

... 

It took a bus ride and a short walk up to the isolated hotel in the mountains, just outside of the city known as Sapporo. Gintoki kept his word and carried a weary Kagura on his back while Hijikata took two bags: Gintoki's and his own. Even he had to admit that seeing Gintoki act this way for the China Girl looked pretty decent, maybe even endearing. When reaching the hotel's main entrance, there were quite a few people already going in and out. It was a wide building, the exterior suggesting that it had been around for a few decades. At least, that was an educated guess on Gintoki's part. It may have been built recently, having occupied such a large area in the mountains where most tourists in this modern age would love to come and stay. It was an onsen too, and the sights that stretched beyond the hotel were spectacular-a landscape worth capturing in your mind while it lasted. An onsen in the mountains may have only been the beginning after all. 

"Alright, let's check-in. Gintoki, you have your pass?" 

"Yeah. Hijikata, be a dear and get it from my bag, will you? It's in one of the smaller compartments. I would, but I'm carrying heavier luggage, as you can clearly see". 

"Don't call me dear again, please. Haa...let's see...". 

Hijikata opened up the first small pocket of Gintoki's bag, digging his hand inside for this pass. It was given to those who had a reserved spot for the event. No names were on it-just a notification that they were to attend this award party as an anonymous attendee. Of course there was a special stamp on the pass so that it couldn't be forged, in case some information was leaked by some asshole not doing their job correctly and some journalist found out and tried to enter the party, univited. Yes, security would be quite tight. As far as Gintoki knew, the attendence included award-winners, runners up of the awards, CEO's, publishers, producers and the main hosts of this event. Despite being a private celebration, it sounded like a huge set-up. 

After checking the second small pocket of the bag, Hijikata pulled out Gintoki's pass and placed it between Gintoki's teeth, as he had requested. Kagura was fast asleep against his back, so he would have to confirm his right to attend the party in this awkward position. 

"Gintoki, I could just hand it in for you". Otose offered, taking out her and Tama's pass from her purse. 

In response, Gintoki muttered incoherently, the laminated card still between his teeth. Although everyone definitely picked up a: "No, I've got it". Good luck to whoever was standing at the reception to be faced with such an awkward man. They entered, heading straight for the queue at reception. On the train, everyone had organised who would share a room with who. Gintoki and Hijikata would share, Tama and Kagura would share and Otose booked a room for herself. All reserved suites with a specified number, also presented on the pass'.They went seperate ways at three different receptionist's at a long, stretched out desk that shone brightly in the light. Gintoki and Hijikata approuched a young lady receptionist, Kagura still on Gintoki's back. 

"Good evening, welcome to the Ginrinsou Inn. How may I help you today?" 

"Uh, hi. We're have a reservation". Hijikata answered, since Gintoki couldn't exactly speak for the time being. That is until Hijikata removed the pass from Gintoki's teeth and awkwardly passed it over to the young lady. She looked it over and smiled brightly, despite the small trace of saliva across the card. Thank god it was laminated. 

"Oh, I see. Which one of you is attending?" It did only count for one person, so... 

"That would be me". Gintoki finally spoke, pulling Kagura further up his aching back when she started to slip. 

"Alright. Are these your plus ones?" 

"Yeah. Me and him are sharing a room whereas this brat on my back is staying in room 11 with that girl over there, the one with the green hair". 

The receptionist looked over at Tama, following Gintoki's gaze to confirm who he was speaking of. She understood. 

"Alright, sir. Your room has been prepared for you. I'll just get your key-card. I hope you have a wonderful stay and enjoy the event". 

The receptionist left, but not before handing the pass back to Hijikata. Once she did leave, Kagura groaned against Gintoki's back as she finally woke up. 

"Uhng...Gin-chan, are we here yet? Hmmng...It's warm...". 

"Oi! Don't fall back asleep! Hey! Heeey!" 

... 

They had parted ways in the hall, leading to each of their rooms. Once Tama left with Kagura and Gintoki found his room with Hijikata, he wasted no time crashing into the pre-prepared futon that beckoned him to land face-first into the soft, warm cushion and the cuddly, silky soft bedding that made him shudder with comfort and delight. The only thing he had the energy for was taking off his shoes at the entrance. It wasn't even dark out, yet they were already tired. For once, Gintoki had the right idea. Hijikata slumped down into the other pre-prepared futon, lying flat on his back and taking a deep breath. He exhaled just as deeply as if saying "finally...". It really was a huge relief to be in the hotel. 

"Thank...fucking...god-almightly we're here". If this wasn't the right time to curse to the heavens in relief, then what was? 

"Couldn't have put it better myself". Hijikata responded, lacking the energy to even chuckle at that.

Still within position of being sprawled out on his futon-as claimed when he collapsed on it-Gintoki turned his head towards Hijikata, simpering in an almost uncharacteristic way as he stafed at Hijikata. From the corner of his eye, Hijikata noticed that Gintoki was staring. It was a unexpected at first, therefore Hijikata was speechless, but he relaxed when Gintoki shifted his gaze elsewhere. This was becoming a bad habit: feeling like two teenagers whenever any coy situation arose in a silent moment. They had a deal, though. There was nothing to gain from being coy. 

"Hey, Gintoki". 

"Hm...?" 

"When we've rested, do you wanna...go to one of the baths?" 

"Good plan, but there's an open bath right on the balcony outside". 

That was true. When focusing on the balcony that lay behind Gintoki, past two glass doors, there was a wooden platform that was open to the sky above. A hot tub was built in. Hijikata gulped. Did he want to be left alone with Gintoki yet? No, he was too tired for that. 

"Maybe tomorrow? We have another day, so visiting the public bath shouldn't be a big deal, right?" 

"I guess...Alright. We'll get food and then go to the main bath. Wanna go now, or...?" 

"No, we can rest. I'm pretty tired, too". 

"Okay...Wanna cuddle?" 

Hijikata's heart skipped a beat, his blood running cold for a second at those casually spoken words. Sure, Gintoki was half-asleep-but still...No, Hijikata needed to maintain his composure. So, without protesting, he crawled closer to Gintoki who turned on his side lazily on his other side until his back was facing Hijikata. Looked like he wanted to be the little spoon this time. Hijikata cuddled Gintoki, resting his chest against Gintoki's back comfortably. A smirk formed across Gintoki's lips when he realised just how fast Hijikata's heart was hitting his back. It was pounding like crazy. It was too early, so Gintoki kept quiet and enjoyed this little bit of fun while it lasted. This was nice. Quiet. Peaceful. Nothing like an early nap and a cuddle with Hijikata to give him a boost for the night. And Gintoki didn't have many cuddles with anyone. Hijikata was the very first. 

... 

They had napped for about an hour, taking them right up to some time after six o' clock. The party wouldn't start until nine, so there was plenty of time to kill before then. First off, dinner at the hotel's restaurant. By the time they had woken up, both Gintoki and Hijikata were starving. There was no sign of Granny, Tama or Kagura-but dinner would be served at this time. And if Gintoki knew Kagura, she wasn't one to miss out. This was an all expenses paid kind of trip, so Gintoki expected to see enough food for a buffet in front of Kagura. Of course, this was only an exaggeration. A girl her size wouldn't be able to eat so much without gaining weight, puking or both. She had one hell of an appetite, though. 

Gintoki and Hijikata requested a table that was within the restaurants smoking area, although Hijikata would be the only smoker of that requested table. Gintoki said he didn't mind and that it wouldn't influence his old smoking habits. Hijikata didn't have much choice but to believe and trust him on that. They were seated and ordered drinks when the waiter asked in a polite, clearly rehearsed manner. Then the two simply sat in eachothers company; Hijikata lighting up a cigarette while Gintoki looked around curiously for the other three. As he did, he spotted quite a few unexpected sights. First, there was Zura. He was invited, as Gintoki's editor. He was sitting with Tama and Kagura at the otyer end of the restaurant. Nothing really significant, just something to shrug about. Then there was Tatsuma, who had just arrived with his collegue, Mutsu. He was wearing that goofy grin on his face, as always. Seeing both him and Zura, Gintoki couldn't help but think..."that's three out of four. Let's hope it stays that way". 

Although thinking this, this was the time when dinner was being served hours before the big event. Takasugi arrived at the same time as Gintoki, so where was he? Perhaps he got the earl8er servings at five? That seemed more likely. Aside from that, the only other unexpected scene that approuched Gintoki was... 

"There you are. I was wondering when you would show up, Gintoki". 

Otose approuched the table, two others following-but somehow appearing to have a higher authority. They just looked that way-despite clearly being younger than the old hag. 

"I meant to introduce you to the host of tonight. This is Shinji Ueda, owner of the hotel and sort of a sponser to our company. He's been dying to meet you, being such a big fan of yours". 

Gintoki stood to greet this man, and his female companion-who he assumed immediatly to be the man's wife. The man was a handsome fellow, well built and well-kept as you would expect of any self-respecting business man. The wife, Miki...she was pretty and had this cheerful aura that seemed to glow and light up the whole room. Oh, shit...Hijikata was right there... 

"Good evening. I am Shinji Ueda, and this is my dear wife, Miki". Ueda greeted, he and his wife bowing their head politely for a moment. "I have to say, I am an admirer of your work. You're something special, my boy. It's such a shame we couldn't give out more than one award. All four writers have incredible talent". 

"Ah, sure, old man. Although the other two will never be mentioned or heard from agai-ack!" 

Suddenly, Otose grabbed the back of Gintoki's hair, pulling him down into a bowing position by sheer force. How strong was this old woman?! 

"Accept my apologies, Ueda. The boy doesn't know good manners. Go on, introduce yourself properly-but quietly". 

"A-ack...G-G-Gintoki Sakata, s-s-sir...Aaagh...I'm gonna go bald, I'm gonna go ba!d. Hijikata-kun, save me~!...She's crazy-agh! She's gone crazy-aagh! Owowowowow!" 

Hijikata was about to step in, crushing his cigarette into the ashtray with a sigh that simply conveyed how bothersome this situatuion was, until Otose let go of Gintoki's hair at the last minute. Ueda just chuckled, as if not fully comprehending the hostility in Otose's actions just to make Gintoki be more polite. 

"Haha, quite an interesting boy you have there. Are you related by any chance?" 

"Ack, believe me, old man, if I was this woman's son I woulda started commiting petty crimes in middle school until I murdered someone in high school". 

"Tch, same here. If this kid was my son and I knee he would become such a usless bum in the future, I woulda dumped him on a cat lady's doorstep". 

"Interesting indeed". Did he not acknowledge what they just said? Or was this guy that damn cheery over god-knows-what?

"It's very nice to meet you. I also adore your work...so passionate". Miki-san spoke, her smile bright and cheery. Cu-...Shit. Hijikata was still there. Meh, he was a lot cuter in his own ways, 

"Ueda-san, we'll see you at the ceremony, surely". 

"Why of course, Otose-san. We shall see you there". 

"It was lovely to meet you". Were the words that the couple left to them before making their way to their own table. 

Gintoki sigyed deepky, wish8ng to sit down-only to be stopped when Otose grabbed his wrist. 

"You be on your best behaviour at this event. If you start any shenanigans or make any jokes of any sort, I'll...". 

"Relax, Granny". Gintoki reassured her, casually. Although his tone was obvioudly not very reassuring. "I'm a grown-ass-man. I can handle it". 

"Good. And make sure you wear that suit I bought for you". 

"...and practically forced on me". Gintoki added audaciously, knowing that this old lady could easily make him bow again-only this time to beg for her forgiveness because of silly, bold comments. 

Luckily she just rolled her eyes and headed for her table. Gintoki sat back down with Hijikata, almost tired from that expereince. This party was really going to be something. He had to wear a suit and everything, something Gintoki really didn't want to wear. He didn't have a choice, though. Best not to think about it while he was currently wearing clothes that were better fitting for him. That wouldn't last, though, considering that this was...an onsen. 

... 

At this time, with a full and settled stomach, Gintoki sat in the public bath-which seemed more private as of now. It was just him and Hijikata soaking in the warm, fragrant water. Lucky. It was relaxing, and allowed the time for Gintoki's mind to wander through new places. This wasn't his first time in a public bath, although this one definitely coveyed a fancy aura with the use of dim lighting and interior design. He wouldn't have minded having other people there, but having just Hijikata was a comfort, almost-since they were both completely naked. In this situation, neither of them had a reason to be embarrassed. Honestly. They had both been to a public bath before so there was no shame in it. 

"Man~, this is so good...All of my tension's jus'...drifting away". Gintoki felt the dire need to commentate, as the silence would inevitably become unbearable if it was just the two of them. 

"I definitely agree. I haven't been to an onsen in ages". 

"Because of work, right? We're kinda the same, then. Work's a real pain in the ass". 

"I thought you liked your job? I mean, writing for a living. I'm sure you hate the column stuff, but...". 

"I do hate writing columns and articles. It's not that I don't like writing novels, they just take up quite a bit of time, that's all". 

"Hm...that's true". 

"Does that bother you?" 

"No, not really. Work is work and, trust me, I'm a bigger workaholic than you are". 

"I won't deny that. With you it's just work, work, work. But now it's not just about work, is it? I mean, we are dating and you seem pretty bothered whenever we can't see eachother. I used to think you hated me". 

"...A little bit". 

"Oh, okay. Me too. But, ya know, we actually like eachotyer quite bit, huh?" 

"Yeah? We established this...". 

"We've also done...stuff". Gintoki scootched a little closer to Hijikata. "We've kissed, cuddled a few times...had sex". Closer and closer. "But since we've been so busy, we haven't had the chance to do a lot of those things, hm?" 

Hijikata was on the verge of backing away, but was frozen in place due to Gintoki's unexpected advances. Gently, Gintoki wrapped his arm around Hijikata's waist to bring him in closer. Just what the hell was he thinking in such a place?! 

"You know what would be kinda hot? Well, really hot...Doin' it right here...in this bath...". 

At those words, Hijikata's thoughts were dragged back to reality, and he reacted by making an attempt in pushing Gintoki away. 

"You idiot! This is a public place-anyone could walk in! B-besides, how shameless do you have to be to wanna do it anywhere other than a bed?!" 

"If that's the case, wanna get outta here? I still have a couple hours until the party, and I'll let ya top". 

"You really are an idiot! Has the water made you dizzy or something?! Now, get off you-...!" 

Suddenly the heat and the tension fell, collapsing at the sound of the main door to the onsen opening. The sound echoed, and earned the attention of the bath's only two occupants. Well, they weren't the only two now. 

"Ah, hello there, gentlemen. I thought there would be more people in the bath, but I suppose it's just us". 

Gintoki and Hijikata's eyes were wide for a moment. It was Ueda, the host of this celebrating taking place later on. He had entered with a towel around his waist, as you would usually do. Gintoki wisely decided to back off from Hijikata. Of course, he was just kidding around, thinking he could get an easy win for their little bet. But to no avail, the fish didn't take the bait. In other words, Hijikata didn't become the blushing, stammering mess that Gintoki hoped. He set his expectations too high by going in for a cheap shot in a public facility, where anyone could ealk in. He clicked his tongue, disappointed. Well now he knew not to go easy on Hijikata the next time an opportunity arose. 

Ueda-san joined them, sitting at the far end of the largely built onsen. When he did, Gintoki caught a glimpse of something that, once looked at properly, shocked Gintoki beyond belief. It was exact moment that Ueda's towel was left at the side, Gintoki's eye darting in his direction and then immediatly darting to look elsewhere. No way...No way...Gintoki brought his legs closer to his chest, suddenly feeling very self-conscious. Hijikata obviously didn't notice-how strange that he didn't. But what he did notice was Gintoki's sudden silence and his sudden need to cover up. 

"Gintoki, what's the matter?" He asked in a whisper, his eyebrow arched in curiosity. 

"D-don't look now, but...Ah, fuck...". 

"Gintoki, what is it? Are you feeling sick or dizzy?" 

"N-no, jus'...Agh, l-look...that way for a second". 

Hijikata was thoroughly confused, but looked over to where Gintoki was pointing discreetly. It was towards Ueda-san, who was sitting quietly with his arms folded and his-... 

Hijikata quickly cupped his hands over his mouth, just as shocked as Gintoki was. What they were faced with...What they both saw... 

"Holy shit!" He cried out-in a hushed tone, behind his hands. He looked towards Gintoki, trembling. "Th-that...No way. Is that his...?" 

"D-don't say it-Don't even think it!" Gintoki whispered back, although his tone presented the urge to cry out in total astonishment. 

"How could I not?! Gintoki, that thing is-...!" 

"I know, I know! Shit...Shit, shit, shit-what do we do?! Should we...leave?" 

"We can't do that! That's rude!" 

"Who the fuck cares about manners?! I feel like a little kid here!" 

"It-It's not...that...b-big, is it?" 

This was just getting more and more explicit through every hushed remark. 

"Hijikata, have you seen it?! How can I go to the bathhouse again?! I'd just end up remembering this moment!" 

"Don't traumatise yourself like that! Look, just stay calm and keep your mouth shut". 

"F-fine...". 

This kind of situation was unexpected. It was shocking-enough to give them both nightmares for weeks. But what kind of nightmares could you get from this?! Gintoki felt outmatched, beaten...small...And he knew he was at least average and then some! Hijikata even felt that way, although keeping it to himself and attempting to push the situation aside.

"So, Ueda-san...". Gintoki began, although nervous to face this...man. "Looking forward to the big dick-I mean...celebration party". 

"...?" Ueda was puzzled by that-no wonder!! 

"Ah, excuse us for a moment...". Hijikata muttered, pulling Gintoki around until their back's were facing Ueda. "What the fuck was that?!" He asked, still whispering with a harsh tone somewhere in his voice. "Where the hell did you get "big dick" from "celebration party", huh?! Are you stupid?!" 

"Look, I couldn't help it! It's hard not to think about-fuck! That sounded wrong!" 

"That's your own fault! Get your mind outta the gutter and stop digging your own grave with these indecent words! Got it?!" 

They turned back towards Ueda, wearing their best smiles whioe trying not to appear awkward or terrified of "Captain Ueda". Not Junior...A fucking Captain! 

"So, Ueda-san, um...You're hosting the party, right?" Gintoki asked, nervously. "Why don't you tell us about yourself? I mean, we barely know anything about you...". 

Gintoki was so nervous that he actually asked about other people-just to keep it from getting awkward! He was being so polite too! 

"Oh, well, alright. First off...". 

It was a relief that things calmed down. As Ueda spoke about his current lifestyle: his wife, the Naoki Prixe anniversary going on that night, the other two tried to take their mind's off things. Or, more specifically, tye monster between Ueda's legs. From what they were listening to, the guy had a good life. 

"...I like to go on fishing trips with friends, so coming back here is a great opportunity. I remember catching a fish about...this size". Ueda held out his hands, showing just how big this fish was from an estimated guess. "It was a big one". 

Gintoki froze up. He didn't want to hear about big things, not while "that" was practically staring right at him. 

"O-oh, cool". Gintoki replied, his voice cracking under the pressure. 

"The head, especially, was huge". 

"Uh-huh...". 

"Hard to handle once out of the water". 

"Mmm...". 

"I could barely fit it into the basket we brought". 

"That's it...". Gintoki nearly stood from the water, only for his wrist to be grabbed by Hijikata, firmly. 

"Oi, you bastard...Just where do you think you're going?" The anger was clear in his tone, frustration that kept Gintoki grounded to the water. 

They both turned around again to speak quietly...sort of. 

"I-I can't, Hijikata. I can't stick around anymore. He seems to be gloating a lot for just talking about a goddamn fish! No wonder his wife's so happy!" 

"Stop panicking! We won't have to be here for long. If one of us gets dizzy, the other will drag 'em out, okay?" 

"Ooh! I know! Alright, I'm gonna hit you as hard as I can, knock you out and then drag you away, pretending that you passed out from dizziness". 

"Like hell you will! It sounds to me like you just want to knock me out! Can't we just pretend?!" 

"Alright...Ready, Hijikata-kun~?" Gintoki raised his fist, a straight expression on his features. 

"D-don't, you asshole! You'll really knock me out! In thise heated area, you'll fuckin' knock me out forever!" Hijikata grabbed Gintoki's wrist again, keeping him from throwing a serious punch. 

"Um, excuse me, is everything alright over there?" 

"Y-yeah, he's just fooling around". Hijikata replied, still within the struggle. "We'll stop". 

Using sheer force and strength, Hijikata stopped Gintoki from hitting him. It was a dumb idea in the first place. 

"Hijikata, come on. I'm uncomfortable here". 

"Why? There's no real reason for you to feel uncomfortable". 

"Uh...hello?! Have you seen my Gin-san junior compared to General Ueda over there?!" 

"Yes, I have, and it shouldn't matter. It doesn't matter because you're manly in your own way. Other people shouldn't bother you or make you feel self-conscious". 

What Hijikata was saying was definitely true, and his size was good-Gintoki had to admit. Yeah, it wasn't a really big deal. Gintoki knew he was manly and even thought of himself as being good in bed-so what did it matter if he was average and Ueda over there could kill someone with his? It didn't. There was no real reason to feel outmatched or defeated or small. This...was actually a serious discussion. Holy hell. 

"You...You're right, Hijikata. You're totally right". 

"I'm glad you agree". 

What the hell? What the hell was this moment? Was this a guy thing or something? Why stare at eachother like they had leanred a life lesson or something? Eh? Ehhh? This littlem weird as hell, moment didn't last, though. Another person came into the room, a towel around their waist and their hair tied up. And, no, it was no woman...although the comparison wasn't far off. 

"Ah, Gintoki, there you are. Hm? Is that...?" 

"Zura...?" Gintoki questioned as his gaze shifted in his direction. It was Zu-...Katsura. 

"It's not Zura or Zu-...It's Katsura". 

"Where did he get "Zu-" from?" 

"The event's starting in an hour or so. You might wanna get ready". 

"What about you?" 

"I wanted to relax a little before the event. I won't be here for long". 

Katsura sat down in the water, too, placing his towel at the side. At that, Gintoki and Hijikata froze. By now, it was definitely rude to look but...well, now they had no need to feel outmatched. Without saying a single word, Gintoki and Hijikata took their towels, covered up and stood from the bath in unison. They made their way out quietly, much to Katsura's puzzlement. 

"Oh, you're leaving already? I'll see ya at the party, Gintoki". 

"S-sure, Zura...". 

"Gintoki...". Hijikata muttered under his breath as they exited. "It was only below average, right?" 

"Y-yeah, surely. Poor Zura...and I thought Takasugi was a small fry". 

"It's not Small Fry, it's Katsu-wait...What?" Katsura was puzzled by that, greatly. He would have possibly gotten an answer if Gintoki and his friend hadn't already left. And you know? He never will. And what was that about Takasugi? 

... 

"Achoo...!" Takasugi sneezed, sniffling, a shudder running up his spine. 

"Sounds like a cold's coming on. Maybe you spent too long in the bath outside? It is still pretty chilly this time of year". 

"I'm fine, but thank you for your concern, Bansai". 

Was someone talking about him? Takasugi shrugged it off before buttoning the cuff's of his shirt. As he did, he wondered about the bandage covering his eye, and it was quite concerning. It was concerning that he would end up sticking out like a sore thumb. He honestly didn't want to, not with this. They hadn't thought of this previously because it didn't seem like something to fret over. But now that the event was vastly approuching within at least an hour, Takasugi got cold feet-on the basis that people would glance or even stare because of the bandage over his left eye. He looked into the mirror before him, his heart sinking. Why now of all times did the memories have to return all at once? The situation, the tension, the pain that once coursed through that eye...He swiftly looked away, although still facing his reflection. It was unexpected, a little bit of a surprise, when the bandage loosened. Then came the presence behind him, the one to remove it. Bansai, with a straight expression, unwrapped the piece of white material from Takasugi's head. There was no protest, just stillness from Takasugi as he allowed this action. 

"If you would like, I could style it a little so that a few strands of your hair cover it up. If not, you can wear an eye-patch. There were some in the bathroom's medicine cabinet". 

"How convenient...". The eyepatches must have been for styes or possibly shampoo-related accidents. "And since when can you style hair?" 

"I can't. I was just thinking we could brush it through and sort out so that your eye is covered". 

"Hm...Not a bad idea. What if my eye is revealed through the strands?" 

"I can easily go out and buy some hair spray to hold it in place. So, how about it?" 

"We may not have time for that. I-...?" 

All of a sudden, Bansai wrapped his arms around Takasugi, pressing his lips to the back of his head. What's with the affection all of a sudden? 

"Shinsuke, to be honest, I wouldn't care how you looked. You're...beautiful as you are". 

When those words passed his lips, Bansai shifted aside those loose strands of hair from Takasugi's face. His scarred eye was revealed, the dark sliver of a scar still there. He didn't look much different from when he was in his early twenties, before the incedent that left him scarred and bruised, in more ways than one. The only difference is that bruises heal. 

"What's this?" Bansai questioned, resting his chin on the top of Taksugi's head. "You're song's changed. It's nice, calm and elegant...Can you hear it?" 

"If this is your way of seducing me, well...". 

"Would you say it was working?" 

"...". 

Takasugi didn't even try to hide the sweet smile on his face. There wasn't much difference... He was silent, saying nothing as he could not make up a suitable reply to Bansai's words. He was...totally lost for them. Bansai backed away slightly, Takasugi looking over his shoulder. 

"I'll go buy that hair spray. Stay put, I won't be long". 

"I know. See you when you get back". 

Bansai left the room, leaving the area in silence. With a long seeded sigh, Takasugi leaned back against the wall and slid down to the floor. He did feel some anxiety about tonight, although he wouldn't be giving a speech like the others and would generally mix in with the crowd. Maybe it was because of this scar on his eye or the idea of being around so many people for a few hours. Socialising was not his forte. Maybe having Bansai and Takechi there would relieve him of some of this built up anxiety that would push most people to vomit from such nervousness. But he stayed calm, collected, and chose to simply get it over with. All he had to do was drink diluted champagne, receive an interview or two and that would be that. He could forget about anything else, forget about the uneccessary socialising, forget about those...two. Forget about them, pay no attention to them, ignore them. 

... 

On the other side of the hotel, Gintoki was inside his room, checking and adjusting the suit he had no choice but to wear that night. He had tossed away the tie that came with it a while ago, to be left with the silky, light grey suit and ocean blue shirt underneath. He tightened the belt around his waist, just to ensure that his pants wouldn't start slipping in the middle of the party. When straightening his suit jacket, Hijikata exited the bathroom on the opposite side of the room. He paused, looking over a very smart-looking Gintoki through his relfection in the room's mirror. He did look quite handsome, even with such an obnoxious natural perm. 

"Well, well, who are you? You look like Gintoki Sakata a bit, but you dress like a young businessman". 

"Oh, ha-ha". Gintoki responded, turning around to face Hijikata properly. "Look, before you know it, Gin-san is gonna be burning this thing under a hand lense once the weather in Tokyo is scotching hot". 

"I don't doubt that. Just don't accidentally burn down a building, otherwise I'll arrest you for arson". 

"I'm kidding, ya know". 

"Whatever, it's hard to tell with you". It sure was. "Hey, do you know when you're coming back to the room?" 

"No, not really. But I don't plan to stay for long. Why?" 

"I was just wondering since the China Girl and I were gonna go into the town just outside of the hotel. I promised to buy her ice cream since you won't be there. She bugged me and everything". 

"Aw, you're gonna be bonding~. Isn't that sweet~?" 

"Shut it". Hijikata replied, hiding a smile. "She's your kid, not mine". 

"You do know she's technically not my kid either-...?" 

There was a knock at the door, interupting Gintoki the moment he finished his sentence. Though it's supposed that's not interupting, but still. The door opened when Hijikata called to the person on the other side, permitting them to enter. It was Otose and Tama. Otose was wearing a lady's suit, whereas Tama was wearing a rather charming dress-green and very pretty on her. But, of course, she tied her hair back. 

"Come on, Gintoki. Party's starting soon". 

"Right...I'll be right out. Just gimme a minute". 

Gintoki approuched Hijikata, Granny closing the door a little bit to give them a moment of privacy. 

"Alright, see ya when I get back. I don't plan to hang around too long". 

"Right, see you later". 

Hijikata made the first move, placing a kiss on Gintoki's lips. He received an odd look from Gintoki, who shook his head. 

"What am I, your grandmother? Gimme a real kiss. See, like this...". 

Gintoki made the second, and last, move. He tilted his head, leaning in to firmly press his lips to Hijikata's while holding both of his hands just as firmly to keep him from backing away too soon. Gintoki smirked against the kiss, sensing Hijikata's sheer surprise. That only took a sensual pull of Hijikata's bottom lip for Gintoki to clearly feel the heat radiating from his cheeks. Cute. Too cute. Gintoki lingered a few seconds more, slicking his tongue up Hijikata's red-ish bottom lip before pressing their tongues together in a skillful fashion. From outside, Otose rolled her eyes and swiftly interupted. 

"Will you two fruits cut it out? We've got somewhere to be! Honestly...". 

Gintoki pulled away from the kiss, leaving Hijikata feeling a little light-headed-alhough not for long as he collected himself. 

"See ya, Hijikata. Wish me luck". 

Gintoki made his exit, feeling quite proud of himself. Hijikata was quite flustered-but "quite flustered" wasn't enough to win his bet. Yes, he was still thinking about that. 

"You look very handsome, Gintoki-sama". Tama said, smiling sweetly. 

"Thanks, Tama. You look good too. And, Granny...Nice suit". 

"Thanks. You actually look alright in yours. Now, let's get this over with. If you don't wanna stand out, keep your head down and don't do anything stupid, alright?" 

"Yeah, yeah, Granny. I know...". 

... 

The hall used for the party was as sophisticated as Gintoki expected. Bright lightening, quiet classical music played by the hired band stationed at the corner of the hall, and people dressed up in elegant clothing with a glass of diluted alcohol in hand. Yep, not exactly Gintoki's kind of crowd. He entered, followng Otose and Tama, his hands stuffed into his suit pants pockets. Already the uncomfortabilty thriving within Gintoki's mind as he looked around, making sure to stand close to the two people who could wander around this place naturally-despite their middle class background. Of course, they were mostly of middle class in the hall, but the way everything was set uo gave off different vibes. Gintoki froze in place when seeing the old hag greet Ueda and his wife. Gintoki thought that it was best for him to keep a short distance after what happened in the public bath earlier. Tama stayed by his side, looking up at him in wonder-a thought entering her mind. 

"Gintoki-sama, are you alright?" 

"Yeah, Tama. Just kinda uncomfortable. I don't really suit this atmosphere". 

"That's perfectly alright". Tama smiled naturally in comfort. "I'm not quite used to being in a place like this, either. I prefere being around my friends, or machinary". 

"Was sayin' the last thing neccessary?"

"So, you actually came. I'm surprised...". 

There was a moment, a voice, that led to Gintoki and Tama abruptly freezing in place. That voice...No, it couldn't be...But, then again, it wasn't really a surprise. Gintoki looked over his shoulder, just as Tama did, and his eyes widened in shock. 

"Why do you look so surprised? Surely you watched the award ceremony, Gintoki". 

"You...!" 

Before Gintoki was a man who truely made his blood boil. With that an expression just as arrogant as his and a composure that seemed to radiate perfection to everyone but those who truely knew him...Kintoki. Kintoki Sakata, the bastard. 

"Good to see you too. Hmhm...". 

Kintoki Sakata was, coincedentally, the total opposite of Gintoki. Straight, golden locks, productivity and a magnetism for ladies. The only things that came as similarities was his arrogance and his career. Kintoki was a script writer for movies and plays, directing them and even acting in them. Knowing him, he proably got an award. There was no way he would come to the party as a runner-up. He was a sore loser, so there was no way he wouldn't approuch so easily without gloating.

"You too, Tama". He muttered, almost staring daggers at her. 

She never trusted him-and she was right not to. 

"Leave us be, Kintoki". She spoke firmly, standing her ground. 

"Those are quite strong words from you, although I'm not surprised. You're quite lovely like that". 

"She told you to back off ya arrogant prick". Gintoki stood his ground to, staying by Tama's side. 

"Gintoki, you should know that such language shouldn't be said in front of a lady". 

"Oh, I'm sorry, did I offend you, Kin-chan?" 

Kintoki almost lost his composure at that retort from his smug rival. But he only let out a sigh to relieve himself of any anger. Just like Gintoki, he didn't want to lose himself to someone who he personally considered to be a lesser being. At least, that's what Kintoki had convinced himself of-that Gintoki was inferior to him. 

"Hah, you know, I'm not surprised...". Kintoki wore a smirk, one that many had not seen on his face. "I'm not surprised that Shinsuke Takasugi won an award over you. He's an excellent author, although by his work I can only assume that he has a rotten personality and a rotten mind. Just like you, Gintoki". 

"Don't bring that bastard into this. You know nothing about either of us". 

"Quite. Anyway, I would love to stay and chat, but I have some socialising to do. See you soon, Gintoki". 

"...".

Kintoki left the scene, wandering towards a group of young ladies within the crowd. Gintoki let out an irritated sigh. That guy was such a pain. 

"Are you alright, Tama?" 

"Me? I'm alright, but doesn't he get under your skin, Gintoki-sama?" 

"I try jot to let him get to me too much. He's an asshole, showing off his straight hair and blonde locks. Pisses me off". 

"Uh, Gintoki-sama, that's rather contradictory to what you just said a moment ago". 

"Whatever. Look let's try to blend in with the crowd, okay? I don't think we'll be here for too long".

That was the exact intention, to blend in and hope to never be found among the crowd of people. So Gintoki looked around, was forced to meet people by Otose, drank the alcohol that was shouldn't have been called alcohol because it was so weak, and tried his best not to bump into certain people. The only other person that he knew from the party, who he shortly met uo with, was Katsura. He definitely looked odd in a suit, with his hair tied back neatly. 

"Yo, Zura". 

"Haa...How many times do I have to tell you? It's not Zura, it's-". 

"I know, but I've said this before: saying Katsura is such a pain in the ass. What's wrong with "Zura", Zura?" 

"It's not my name, that's what's wrong. It's like when Tatsuma calls you "Kintoki". Doesn"t that annoy you?" 

"Yeah, but Tatsuma's a moron". 

"And you're not?" 

"Did you guys call for me? Haha!" 

"Oh, no...". Gintoki slapped his face against his hand, hearing that goofy laugh at such a short distance. 

"Hey, buddies!" Both Gintoki and Katsura felt a pair of arms sling over their shoulders, the sound of laughing emitting right by their ears.

"I'm not your buddy, I'm Katsura". Was Katsura going to give that bland response every time? 

It was no surprise that Tatsuma would be at the event, since he was the CEO of the publishing company, somehow. 

"Man, I can't believe we're all here again, just like in the meeting we had a few weeks back. Drawn togetyer like moths to a flame. Hahaha!" 

"Tatsuma, was there somethin' you wanted, or...?" Gintoki asked, a slight pain developing in his neck from the pressure of Sakamoto's arm. 

"I just wanted to see my good buddies again. Hey, remember back then? We were so tight. Well, except for you and Takasugi-shi, Kintoki. But I guess the closer you are to someone, the more you fight with them". 

"Look, Sakamoto, could we not discuss Takasugi at a time like this? Or...ever?" Thank god Katsura was the one to ask, knowing fully well the reason why they were so distant. 

"Why not? What happened to you guys that caused such hostility? I really don' get it. But, if it's none of my business, I totally understand". 

"Dammit! You're too wishy-washy! No wonder the series doesn't see much of you!" 

"Hahaha! God, strike Kintoki down for insulting my character, please. Ahahaha!" 

Gintoki didn't have tye energy to fully put up with Sakamoto's antics. He was considered a friend, although a moronic one. While trapped under Sakamoto's arm, Gintoki glanced around before someone caught his eye. And tyere was no doubt in his mind once he saw their face. Takasugi. Great...Although at a distance, it was still a coincedence for them to end up being so close together. And the worst part was that Sakamoto spotted him too.

"Ah, Takasugi-shi~! We're over here~!-ack!" 

Sakamoto suddenly felt a hard punch hit the back of his head as Gintoki released himself from his grip. Due to the impact, Katsura was left with Sakamoto leaning on him, his arm still hung around his shoulder. 

"Are you a total idiot?! Don't call him over here!" 

"I hate to admit it, but Gintoki's right, Sakamoto. I understand that you and Takasugi are on neutral ground, but he is not quite a friend to Gintoki and myself anymore". 

"Ugh, did ya have to hit me to tell me that? Hah...haha...". 

"Why are you still laughing?! Did I give ya brain damage or somethin'?!"

Due to the ruckus that all three of them made alone, it caught on to a few brief glances from those within the crowd, including Takasugi. Just when everyone else had focused on their previous activity or conversation, Takasugi lingered for a moment as he watched those three idiots stand out in the crowd. He glanced away, indifferent to their stupidity. At least, now he was. 

Gintoki had noticed that they had captured Takasugi's attention for a brief moment before he looked away in disdain of his former...friends. That was the best way to put it, despite how odd that seemed now. Although he called it that, it didn't sound right in Gintoki's ears-like a sharp ringing that echoed in his ear. Maybe it was because he and Takasugi never really were friends in the first place. They fought and argued, so...how could they be called friends in the first place? Although, Sakamoto did say that people who fight the most are the closest. Plus, Gintoki often quarelled with Hijikats yet they were dating. Was there any point in justifying it now, though? 

Without notice, a crowd had suddenly surrounded thr hall's stage as the band went silent and there was the clinking of a glass that echoed throughout. Ueda had stepped up, smiling as he greeted his audinece. 

"Thank you, everyone". He said, speaking clearly through a microphone. "And welcome to 80th anniversary of the Naoki Prize award ceremony, as well as...". 

Gintoki sighed, already bored of the old man's speech. It was polite to shut up and listen, but Gintoki wasn't one to show manners. He looked around, and before long his gaze caught on to Takasugi once more. He didn't seem to be paying much attention to the speech either. He seemed lost in thought. Just like Gintoki, that guy was difficult to read-a closed book. He seemed quite proud to win the award, but Gintoki knew it wasn't about the award. It was totally personal. It always has been between them. This time, Takasugi had won. Why woukd Gintoki be a sore loser about it? He wouldn't. He never was. 

... 

Takasugi walked out of the hall after a brief interview with his publisher. It was for the media, yet his name and face wouldn't be revieled. A rather tedious experience, to be honest. He wandered out, intending to go smoke outside. He exited through the fire exit, away from the crowds and so on. He leaned against the wall, taking out an ordinary cigarette from his pocket-since his kiseru was left in the hotel room. He didn't often smoke ordinary cigarettes. As he could recall, his first was when he was a teenager. He placed it between his lips, reaching into his other pocket for the lighter he borrowed. As he did, he heard some rattling and cursing near him, incoherent but familiar. He turned his head in that direction, remaining composed even when he saw who it was. 

"Come on...Fuck, stupid machine takin' my money...". 

"What the hell are you doing?" Takasugi asked, although indifferent. 

It was Gintoki, his arm reaching into a vending machine to desperately reaching to grab somethig tha d gotten stuck, as it seemed. His stupidity never ended, did it? Gintoki froze, looking in Takasugi's direction once his voice reached him. 

"What does it look like? Machine stole my money, and I wasn't carrying a lot of loose change-so this is the best drink I could get. If only...I could just...reach it". 

His actions looke painful as well as desperate. Pathetic, even. Takasugi didn't want to deal with it, so he made a swift decision to leave the scene. 

"Hey, Takasugi...". 

He didn't know why he stopped. He didn't know why Gintoki called out to him in the first place. There was still time to walk away without listening to anything Gintoki had to say. But, by the time he made that decision, Gintoki continued. 

"I almost forgot...to congratulate you for winning the award". 

"Why...?" Takasugi responded, remaining as composed as possible for this. 

"It's only natural, right? I've never actually picked up and read one of your books, but I'm sure you deserved it. I've seen plenty of your school essays to know that much". 

Why was he doing this? What for? Neither of them had any attachments to the otyer anymore. So why act so civil, knowing perfectly well why they weren't "friends" anymore? Takasugi clenched his fist in frustration. Gintoki was so indifferent, like nothing had happened at all between them. It was annoying. So...annoying. 

"Takasugi, you-". 

"Stop it". Takasugi spoke firmly, his voice stopping Gintoki in his tracks as he made an attempt to approuch. "I don't get that about you. How the hell can you be so carefree? How the hell can you even think about speaking to me so casually after...after what you did?!" 

"You know that wasn't my fault. You think I wanted things to turn out the way they did? Don't get the wrong idea, Takasugi. As far as I'm concerned, we're no longer friends. In fact, when the fuck were we ever friends? The only thing we had that came close was this competitive bullshit".

"What makes you think it's bullshit?" 

"Because we're not children anymore. And, for the record, I have no reason to compete with you anymore. Takasugi, I'm sure you're a great writer. You know this, so why are you still quarrelling with me? What the hell are you trying to prove?" 

"...". Takasugi bit his tongue-figuratively, of course. He couldn't say it. He couldn't admit it-even to himself. 

"He...was already really proud of you, you know". 

"...!" 

At that, Takasugi froze. He knew exactly who Gintoki was refering to, and it angered him. It angered him greatly. 

"Don't...". Takasugi muttered, trembling slightly. "Don't mention him...You have no right...". Takasugi clenched his fist tightly, trembling with anger. "You have no fucking right!" 

Takasugi swiftly raised his fist, preparing to strike Gintoki as hard as he could. Gintoki prepared himself for a counter-strike. No matter the person or the situation, Gintoki would always be prepared to strike back, to knock some ssense into the person who tried to strike first. But within a fraction of a second, as they each prepared on instinct, Takasugi was stopped abruptly. His wrist was grabbed tightly, his head swerving around to look over his shoulder. Gintoki met eyes with the person who held Takasugi back. The loose hinge, Bansai. They were both surprised to see him enter at just the right moment. Takasugi panted softly from the excitement, too much of it clearly. 

"Shinsuke, there you are. Takechi was looking for you. It's...urgent". 

Takasugi relaxed, only slightly. Bansai unhanded Takasugi and went on ahead without a word. Takasugi lingered slightly, refraining from looking directly at Gintoki before he made his exit. Gintoki leaned against the wall, letting out a huge sigh. He didn't mean for things to get so heated. But was there any hope that they would end up having a friendly chat? Gintoki rubbed the bridge of his nose between his index finger and thumb. He was done for the night. Definitely. He simply wished to go back to his room and forget all of this shit. Was it his fault? If it was, he found no use on dwelling on it because, technically, he would be looking back on something from the past. And the past couldn't be changed or altered, no matter how many times he dreamed about it. It was there forever, stuck in the midst of Gintoki's darkest memories like glue. And there was no way to get the old Takasugi back it seemed. He was stubborn and carried his own guilt-just like Gintoki. They all did. 

... 

Bansai led Takasugi out of the hall, not saying a word to explain where Takechi actually was and what this was about. Of course, Takasugi already knew that Takechi didn't want to see him. At least, it wasn't about that. Somewhere down the hall, hidden away from the party and the crowd, was a door that stood by itself in the corner, almost like a closet. No one would pay attention to it or enter. Bansai opened that door, entering the room and silently gesturing for Takasugi to follow him. Quickly, Takasugi glanced around to make sure that no one saw before entering, knowing that the coast was clear. Bansai shut the door behind them, dragging over a nearby chair to block anyone else from entering. By the looks of things, within this small room, it appeared to be an ice-storage room with an odd table between two storage chests. Obvioulsy the room was a little chilly, but nothing that would be too bothersome. With the one chair in the room blocking the door, Takasugi sat on the table without a word. Bansai joined him, letting out a sigh. There was silence at first, to ease them into this situation before talking. Takasugi was the first. 

"So...how much of that did you hear?" It was the obvious question, at least in Takasugi's mind. Once asked, Bansai lowered his headphones from his ears before replying. 

"I didn't hear anything". He replied, surprising Takasugi. "I just walked in and saw you raise your fist to that man. It was only natural for me to stop you". 

"Then why bring me here? If you didn't want to talk about it and if Takechi wasn't looking for me...". 

"Oh, he is. There's more interviewing to be done, and I assumed they would search our room for us so I thought this would be more private". 

"Ah, good call".

"I was just curious. I mean, do you wish to talk about it?" 

"...There isn't anything I could say to you. I'm sorry". 

"No need to apologise. If you wish to talk, now's the time before the party is over. Otherwise we'll never get a moment of peace". 

Bansai was trustworthy. More than most people that Takasugi had encountered in his life. But to tell him about the past, his past...it couldn't be done so easily. To even admit weakness to anyone was out of the question. There was only one person in Takasugi's life who he could confine in, someone who knew about his weakness'. They were gone now, of course. Nothing but a memory. 

"Bansai...". Takasugi spoke after a moment's silence. "I know that winning any kind of award in my life truely means nothing. It only shows my achievements through years of hard work and recognition. But, even so, I feel...I feel like it should matter more. I feel like if I don't win these awards and gain recognition then I'm...I'm...". 

Takasugi tried to refrain from using the words "weak" or "insignificant". They weren't the right words, although he had heard them so many times before. Because of that, it became a need and a desite to improve and surpass those who were considered the strongest in body and, especially, mind. Just as those words failed to pass his lips, Bansai wrapped his arm around Takasugi and brought him in closer. 

"Shinsuke, I already told you...". Bansai muttered, closing in to kiss Takasugi's head. "I'd support you no matter what. We all, at the office, will support you. Even if most of them don't know your face or name, we all think that you're strong in your own way and work hard. So there's no need to push yourself to your limits, alright?" 

It was easier said than done, but hearing those words from Bansai gave Takasugi just the tiniest boost of encouragement. He wanted to stay composed and strong, inside and out. Takasugi gave a nod, looking up at Bansai and grasping his chin. 

"Thank you...". 

They leaned into eachother, kissing. It was a good opportunity while it wasn't too late at night. Even if it was just a thank you kiss. Well, it was for a moment. Bansai shifted positions, standing to his feet once the kiss ended. He stood in front of Takasugi, immediatly diving in for a deeper kiss. Takasugi wrapped his arms around Bansai's neck, pulling him in further as he slid his fingers through his hair. It wasn't intended to go too far-at least, Takasugi did intend to go too far. However, as Bansai circled and twisting his tongue around Takasugi's, provoking a few moans and even a blush, it seemed like the right time to pull away. When gasping for breath, Takasugi panted and wiped off the saliva string that slid down his chin. 

"That was...quite aggressive. Don't tell me you want to do it here". 

Bansai had a straight expression on his face-not much of a shock, but he was quite affectionate despite this. 

"We don't have to. We can wait until after the party, but I daresay we both may be tired afterwards. And I don't want any interuptions". 

"What makes you think we won't be interupted here?" 

Bansai shrugged. 

"A hunch". 

Takasugi rolled his eye, contemplating the idea of actually doing it in an ice room. The likelyhood that they were going to be interupted was pretty slim. Or so Takasugi would like to believe. They weren't animals, yet the idea of doing it somewhere completely different struck Takasugi was kind of interesting. And what if they did somehow get caught? It gave him chills. Excited chills. 

"Haah...Alright". He caved in, wrapping his arms around Bansai's neck once more. "But let's make it quick". 

"I'm not gonna promise anything". 

They went right back in for another kiss, Takasugi's lips parted and ready for Bansai to go right ahead and dominate it. But, after this, even the next day, he promised himself that he would top-and do it on a bed. It did take his mind off of the earlier incident, though. Bansai was good at that, it seemed. How many more times was he going to be there to put a smile back on Takasugi's face? Although, strangely enough, it didn't feel the same as his old smile from way back when. Maybe that wasn't a bad thing. But maybe...it wasn't a good thing, either. 

... 

With a huge sigh, right after shutting the hotel room's door, Gintoki was ready to collapse into his futon for the night. The old woman had no objections to him heading back. What time was it? How long was he gone for? God knows. He slipped off his shoes at the entrance, removing and throwing down his suit jacket on the ground. He needed some real booze after such a long night. As he entered further insde, he saw Hijikata appear from behind the counter on the other end of the room which, inside, held a mini bar filled with alcohol. 

"Hey. Guess you're finished for the night?" He asked, pouring himself a drink before taking another sake cup for Gintoki. 

"Yep. All done". Seeing Hijikata wearing a yukata, seeing how comfortable it looked, urged Gintoki to strip and wear one himself. 

For starters, he loosened more buttons of his shirt-around two-before taking off his belt. He needed some comfortability-was dying for it. Hijikata didn't pay much attention as he sipped his alcoholic beverage. Gintoki swiftly joined him, taking his cup in hand with a quick thanks before taking a sudden swig. 

"Stressful night?" 

"You could say that". Was Gintoki reply, without explanaition. "How about you? How was Kagura?" 

"Oh, good. When you left I took her into town and bought her a kinda late-night ice cream. We didn't talk much, but when we did she only asked about our relationship". 

"Hah...No kidding. That girl gives a lot of mixed feelings about it". 

"Yeah, but I think she's okay with it. She even asked if we were planning on telling anyone else". 

Gintoki shrugged at that. 

"Haven't really thought about it". 

Hijikata took one look at Gintoki's face; serious and so unlike him that it provoked a diminutive amount of concern, just in case he asked and Gintoki replied with "it's nothing". 

"Are you okay? You're more quiet than usual. Tired or...did something happen?" 

"...Both. Though, I'm not gonna go into huge detail. I, er...I bumped into Takasugi". 

"Really? Well, what happened?" 

"Let's just say we spoke back and forth-and not in a friendly kinda way and he nearly punched my square in the face". 

"Holy shit...And you stopped him?" 

"No, his editor stopped him. I got off lucky. I actually know that Takasugi can throw pretty hard punches when he's pissed off. Although that's a different story". 

It was a different story, for another place at another time. Gintoki took another drink, wanting to clear his head. 

"Hey, take it easy. You've had alcohol tonight, haven't you?" 

"Yeah, watered down alcohol that isn't even alcohol". 

"Still...H-hey, are you listening? God dammit". 

As Gintoki continued to drink, Hijikata made a swift attempt in keeping Gintoki from getting drunk-knowing that he had a low tolerance. He moved around the counter, taking he sake cup away from Gintoki before he had anymore. 

"Look, that's enough. If you wanna talk about anything, I'm here. Don't just...drink and expect it to go away...It might make you feel better".

What other choice did he have? Hijikata was being surprisingly nice to offer a shoukder to cry on with no crying whatsoever. Seeing Gintoki talk about Takasugi in such a way probably botyered him. It bothered him to see Gintoki look so...down and discouraged. It wasn't like he just got his heart broken or anything stupidly similar. It was about his past dragging out into the present, a topic that Hijikata was quite familiar with. And for such expereinces to happen, keeping it to yourself just drags it on longer. Now, Hijikata wasn't suggesting that Gintoki tell him everything that happened between them, at least not yet. But to simply talk about the events of the evening would possibly help Gintoki move pas it. 

With a nod of defeat, Gintoki leaned his rear against the counter as Hijikata did. Gintoki thought of what to say, but decided just to get right to the point. 

"I told him...that I didn't consider him as a friend anymore-which he understood, feeling the same way and all. But...I dunno, me and him have never gotten along, but saying that two good-for-nothings like us weren't friends felt so weird to me. Maybe it was because, subconsciously, I'm still trying to get him back on the right path. Perhaps I want the same good-for-nothing that I've pretty much known since were kids to come back. Hm, guess I'm doing something wrong or I'm saying the wrongs things. Or, maybe, after all that's happened it's...not possible for us to be the same again".

It was clear to see that this was the first time Gintoki had ever spoken about this stuff, and with such a straight face too. He didn't falter or cry over the past which he could not change. But his words conveyed a certain hope that he could make a better future with this guy, even if such a possibility was unclear. Even if they couldn't be friends, Gintoki didn't want to continue this hatred between Takasugi and himself. Hijikata gave a nod in understanding. 

"See?" He muttered. "That wasn't so hard now, was it?" He gave Gintoki a smile who, in just a few moments, also smiled. 

"I guess not. Thanks, Hijikata. For listening, I mean. I've never actually told anyone this". 

"I had a feeling. Haah...So, you seem tired. Why don't you go for a bath and I'll order some room service. You hungry?" 

"Ooh, god...Um, yeah. I could eat, take a bath and then...we can settle this little bet we have, later tonight". 

"You're still thinking about that? Haah, whatever". 

"Hey, hey, we shook on it. But you seem rather confident to me. You got something uo your sleeve?" 

"Not really. I just forgot about that stupid bet hours ago. Go take a bath; the fragrance smells really good. I'll order you some onigiri or something". 

Gintoki narrowed his eyes to Hijikata as he headed for the room's phone to call for room service. He had to have had something. Anything to make Gintoki blush a crimson red just from the sight. Although, they did make the bet on the train so there was no way Hijikata could have brought something in advance. Gintoki relaxed, knowing that, before brushing it off and heading for the bathroom to grab a towel. He was using the hot tub outside for this bath. 

... 

Wearing an incredibly soft and cosy yukata, Gintoki sat on his futon munching contently on a rice ball. Hijikata took it upon himself to take the other one, since Gintoki insisted that he wasn't that hungry and that one was enough. Putting the party aside, this had turned into a good night. For at least twenty full minutes, Gintoki couldn't leave himself alone. The fragrance from the bath was sweet and rubbed off on him, making his hair and skin smell like a sweet mix of raspberries and peaches. Licking his lips, Gintoki lay on his back, staring up at the ceiling with a satsfied stomach. From then onto the next day he could relax and take in the mountain experince. Work was over, after all. 

"Haah...This is just how people should spend time at an onsen". 

"What, on their backs or asses?" It was a joke but... 

"Yeah...". Gintoki responded casually, but seriously. "Speaking of being on your back, you gonna fufill your side of the bet? You said you were gonna top, after all". 

"Even after I told you I forgot all about it, you're still talking about that? What are you, a kid?" 

"C'mon~. Afraid you're gonna lose?" 

It was a cheap shot, but knowing how much Hijikata was a sucker for a challenge-at least when it came to Gintoki-he could get away with saying such things with such an impish grin on his face. Hijikata huffed, giving in to Gintoki's challenge. He crawled over to him, looming in above him until his shadow cast over Gintoki, who was smirking ear to ear. He believed that Hijikata wouldn't last long if Gintoki was the most forward and cooperative. 

"Okay, get ready. Now that you've gone and done it, I don't plan to go easy on you. But don't expect me to be a try-hard about this". 

"Of course not. Take your time".

With one brief breath taken in by Hijikata, in order to relax himself, he leaned in and collided his lips to Gintoki's rather swiftly. Gintoki shut his eye when the soft, moist sensation pressed against his lips. His heart skipped a beat, hitting his chest on all sides. Already excited, Gintoki wrapped his arms around Hijikata's neck and slipped his fingers through damp hair. Hah, still wet from his previous shower. Gintoki gasped softly during the kiss, his lips parting and his tongue meeting Hijikata's in the middle. He purposely let out a rather lewd moan when their lips mushed together as their tongues did. The sweet scents surrounding them brought some more pleasure into the kiss, like insence. The faint humidity from bathing and the growing sweat made for a more intense and pleasurable kiss. The warmth radiating from their cheeks was the little burst of excitement, telling them that they were, both, embarrassed and excited. Gintoki gulped, twisting and flicking his tongue skillfully with Hijikata's, as saliva covered the walls of his gums and across his moist and hot tongue. 

One of Gintoki's legs was propped up, although both sets of toes were curling with each funny feeling-one of which being Hijikata's hand sliding it's way down his exposed leg. His fingers crept underneath when reaching his soft thigh. It tickled. Gintoki's react being to clamp his legs around Hijikata's waist and part the kiss with a gasp. His head collapsed back into the futon's pillow, his lungs heavy as he panted unevenly. 

"What's the matter?" Hijikata asked, his hand affixed to Gintoki's thigh. Gintoki was grinning, his lips parted so he could catch his breath. 

"Nothin', haa...You seem more, haa, confident than before, that's all". 

"Haah...I see, haa...Well, let's just say that, hah, a little internet research couldn't hurt". 

"Oh, you've done research? Haa, either you're an idiot for taking this sex thing so seriously or you just really like me". 

"You're the idiot. Why would I have sex with someone I hate?" 

"...Touche. Well, why not show me all the fruit of your research, then?" 

"Fine. You know, you seem pretty cocky yourself". 

"That's 'cause I'm cocky anyway, Hijikata-kun~". 

"...Right, touche. Er, before we continue...I have...stuff the make this easier. Bear with me". 

Hijikata stood up, heading to his luggage. He crouched down, opening up one of the compartments. Gintoki was obviously curious, but had a faint idea about what exactly Hijikata had with him. He returned, clearly holding a pack of condoms and...a bottle of what? Gintoki expected the condoms but...what was in the bottle? Hijikata set down the bottle first, holding the condoms out to Gintoki. 

"From now on, you and I are gonna be a lot safer". He said, a serious expression on his pretty face. 

"Ohh? And I thought I was worrying about bringing condoms". 

"Don't get the wrong idea. I didn't plan to bring condoms, I bought these earlier. While the China Girl went to the restroom at the ice cream place, I went to the pharmacy across the street and bought these". 

"And the bottle?" Gintoki turned his head towards the item, reading the label clearly at that distance. Lotion. It was...lotion. 

"So I don't hurt you too much. This should help. I would have bought lube but...this was already in the hotel, like a sample thing that they were giving away downstairs. I did research and it highly advised some sort of lubrication, so...". 

"Haah, du-mmy. You are taking this too seriously. I don't really care, so long as it's you". 

"Well I care. Now be quiet". 

"What, you gonna get on with it already?" 

"No, of course not". 

Hijikata undid the sash of Gintoki's yukata, pushing past the curtains of silky material to reveal the rest of an unclothed Gin-san. Gintoki propped himself up on his elbows, his yukata sliding down his shoulders, in order to reach Hijikata for another kiss. He gripped the back of Hijikata's hair with one hand, pulling him in for a very forward kiss. Hijikata, during this, traced his hand over Gintoki's abdomen-heat radiating against his fingertips. He traced them farther down, reaching Gintoki slightly erect penis. It wasn't rock hard, but the kiss must have excited him. He gripped it, parting lips with Gintoki and only using his tongue just to hear Gintoki moan and pant frantically under the pleasure. Gintoki had to remain balanced on his elbows, preventing him from maintain a lot of reach. He gripped the futon sheets, digging his nails into the material as Hijikata stroked up and down slowly but thoroughly. How could internet research teach you how to be such a tease? 

Hijikata pulled back from the kiss, his hand still moving. He moved his lips to Gintoki's cheek and ear, panting into the ear canal and sending many chills up Gintoki's spine. Gintoki panted almost erratically when Hijikata moved his hand faster, rubbing the base and head to send a wave of tingles and ripples of pleasure through Gintoki's cock. In the process, he sucked and licked Gintoki's ear teasingly, forcing Gintoki to bite back his bottom lip. But it didn't last as he quickly found himself breathless, the urge to move his hips growing vastly. 

"Haa! Haa! Hah! H-Hijikata...m-more...Do it harder...". 

As if ignoring him, Hijikata kept at the same pace, kissing the crook of Gintoki's neck as he left his ear hot and moist with saliva. 

"Hah, seriously...when did you get so confident? Since when are you a sex expert?" Gintoki asked, putting on a smirk. 

"Didn't I tell you to be quiet?" 

"Ooh-hoo, don't be so forceful now. If you use a gag, then maybe...". 

"I'm considering it", 

"Kyaa~Hijikata-kun's so dirty~". 

"And you're a dirty pervert! Now shut up and let me get on with it. I'm trying to perservere here". 

"...What, with getting me off?" 

"I suppose. Stay put". 

Gintoki arched his eyebrow, his expression quickly changing when Hijikata retracted himself a good distance from Gintoki's face. He stopped at Gintoki's waist, taking hold of his knees and spreading them out. With Gintoki still leaning on his elbows and forearms, he was able to watch this scene before him in curiosity. But it didn't take him too long to figure out Hijikata's intentions, especially with such a shy look on his face as he inched closer and closer to Gintoki erection. When the realisition did strike Gintoki, he immediatly stopped Hijikata by pushing his head away with his hand. Hijikata groaned in pain, his shyness visibly vanishing. 

"Ack! What are you doing?!" 

"Me?! What the hell are you doing, damn pervert?! Planning to suck my dick?! Are you outta your mind?!" 

Gintoki didn't expect Hijikata-a proud guy like him-to literally suck a dick. Gintoki had rudely told him to do it in a fight once as a retort, but he didn't expect it to actually happen months after that fight in particular. 

"What's the problem?! It's oral sex! I'm surprised you of all people are treating it as a weird thing to do!" 

"With you-yeah! Look, if this is your way of winning, it's not fair! Because it's you, I'll embarrass myself!" 

"Who gives a damn?! And enough about the dumb bet we made! I'm doing this because I want to! Because it's you-the only guy I'll ever do this to! Realise that much you moron!" 

Gintoki froze at those words, his grip on Hijikata's head loosening. Because it was him...the only guy Hijikata would do this with. He was so serious, too. Gintoki sighed heavily, retracting his hand and leaning on the elbow and forearm once more. 

"Alright, fine...". 

"Good, now just relax. And...sorry if I'm not good at it". 

A red stained blush covered Gintoki's cheeks at those words. He would have said: "it doesn't matter, idiot". But kept that to himself, fearing more embarrassment by saying it out loud. Taking a hold of Gintoki, Hijikata hesitanly slid his tongue over the tip, his heart pounding. 

"Gh! Hah-haah...Gh-nng!" Gintoki tried to keep his volume to a minimum, especially as Hijikata placed the head between his lips. 

He sucked gently at first, obviously quite unsure of himself. But it didn't stop Hijikata from trying a little exploration to see what made Gintoki feel good. He traced his lips down the side of the base, which twitched with every hot breath that surfaced the sensitive skin. Hijikata's hesitance was almost teasing, but Gintoki once again said nothing-as torturing as this was. 

"Mng! H-haah, haa...a-uah...". 

Gintoki's legs trembled, a few moans escaping as Hijikata's tongue slid along the base of his twitching cock and his teeth nearly scathed the skin. Gintoki could feel himself growing hotter and harder in that area-the sound of his voice having the same effect on Hijikata. Before long, Hijikata took it upon himself to slip Gintoki past his lips as the confidence burst within and pushed him forward. Gintoki let out a gasp, gripping the bedsheets beneath him tighter. He watched Hijikata, panting unevenly as the sensation piled up uncontrollably. Sweat had already formed in each nook and cranny of Gintoki's body. Under his arms, his back, his neck and his chest. Hijikata felt hot under his yukata, intending to strip soon enough. They would both be completely naked but, by now, there was no shame between them. Especially now when Hijikata was running his lips and tongue over Gintoki's penis with confidence. His heart pounded, hearing Gintoki's voice that conveyed excitement and ecstacy. 

"Nh-nha! Hah! Au-auh! W-wait...N-no! Hijika-agh! Ah! Haa! Ha! Haah! I can't...I won't la-last...It's gonna...Uh-ugh...I'm gonna co-ome!" 

Hijikata swallowed and gulped down on instinct, his built up saliva and pre-mature semen leaking from Gintoki as he was reaching his peak. Desparate for such a release, Gintoki started moving his hips up and down, hitting Hijikata's throat a few times whenever he wasn't prepared to avoid it. Gintoki grew a little frustrated, unable to get off faster as he had put all of his leverage into sitting up by his elbows and forearms. He was unable to move without falling back. He was leaking like crazy, his peak so close. Hijikata didn't stop, but did indeed perservere. He sucked just a little harder, using his tongue in the right places for Gintoki to finally thrust his head back, moaning loudly as he reached his climax-which he longed for. Very quickly, Hijikata's mouth was filled with a warm, bitter residue which he effectively swallowed, hard. He gasped for breath, coughing and panting. Gintoki lay flat on the futon, panting heavily himself after such an amazing release. He hadn't experienced that in such a long time-but back then he wore protection. When realising Hijikata's state, Gintoki sat up to check on him, to make sure he wasn't choking to death. 

"Haah, Hijikata, what asshole told you to, haa, swallow it?" He asked, patting Hijikata's back. 

"No-...Nobody...haa...God, that was gross". 

"Of course it was. Geez...".

"Look, it doesn't matter. Let's just move on, alright?" 

"Sure...". 

After a brief pause, Gintoki cupped both of Hijikata's cheeks and brought him in for a kiss. They both shut their eyes, taking in the foul, bitter taste regretablly before it was long forgotten. A kiss was still a kiss after all. Wrapping an arm around Gintoki's waist, Hijikata lowered him all the way back down onto his back. When he did, retracting his arm, Hijikata reached for the bottle of lotion and unscrewed the cap swiftly. 

"Okay, haa...This should stop you from feeling...t-too much pain. Ready?" He asked, squeezing some of the clear, white substance onto his fingers. 

"As...ready as I'll ever be". 

Hijikata took that as official consent to continue without another question. He spread out Gintoki's legs by parting one propped up knee from the other. The middle finger was the best to use first-as he recalled from research. Slowly, he pushed the digit inside Gintoki's entrance, suddenly hearing a sharp and surprised gasp. He didn't stop, though, pushing it in all the way. 

"Are you alright?" He asked, just to make sure. 

"Fuck, that's-mn....It's cold and i-it feels w-weird". Gintoki tightened up around Hijikata's finger, the sensation certainly bizarre and spine-chilling. 

"Just bear with it. I'm gonna add another finger soon". 

"Haah...'Kay...". 

Hijikata moved his finger back and forth, making sure to reach as far as that one finger could manage until Gintoki's walls felt cool and slippery with lotion. He then pushed in another finger, confident that Gintoki would be okay if he did. 

"A-ahn! Haa...a-agh-mnn! Ha-fwahh...". 

"Did that hurt?" 

Gintoki shook his head in respone, biting his bottom lip. Still felt odd though, huh? Hijikata rubbed his two fingertips against Gintoki's walls, which were hot and slippery. Gintoki squirmed and moaned under these sensations, his erection standing back up gradually. Did it feel good too? Gintoki was stretched out as much as two fingers could manage. He moved them with a little more speed, rubbing the lotuon over the tight walls to loosen them up. And it wasn't long before Hijikata felt the need to add one more finger. This was what pushed Gintoki over the edge. 

"G-yah! A-ahh! Ha! Haah! Haa...Ha-uahh! H-Hijikata, no! It-It's too much! Too much! Just-aagh! Haa! Haah!" 

Gintoki firmly gripped the bedsheets over his head as he tightened around three fingers that had the capacity to reach even further inside. Hijikata, unconsciously, pressed all three against Gintoki's most sensitive spot, causing him to jerk his hips up and let out a cry of pleasure. Hijikata froze, watching Gintoki flop back down with heavy breaths. He looked up at Hijikata, an irritated expression on his face. 

"That's enough...". He panted. "We can do it now, right? I'm sure...you're pretty impatient now, huh?" 

"Look, Gintoki, I'm so-uah?!" 

Hijikata was interupted so suddenly when Gintoki pulled him down for a kiss. His eyes remained wide open while Gintoki had closed his, knowing what he was doing. When Gintoki did pull back, he managed to form a smirk. 

"It's fine, I'm ready...". Gintoki muttered, his chest heaving. "I didn't expect you to get so good at this after one time and a buncha research. But...this is fine, so...go ahead". 

"...!....Okay. Yeah, I'm ready too. More than ready. Just gimme a moment to put this condom on". 

Hijikata reached for the packet, fidgeting and struggling with it for a moment or two before getting it open and ripping off a single condom. With his teeth, he tore open the smaller pocket and took it out. He hadn't had much practice with it, but he got the gist of it. It was slipped on, Hijikata letting out a few shaky breaths as he did so, removing his yukata completely until he was left bare. 

"Alright....Gintoki, could ya get on all fours and...face away from me?" 

Gintoki was surprised by this sudden request and decided to question it. 

"Uh, wh-why from...behind?" 

"I read thar it's a lot less painful that way. Trust me". 

Gintoki hesitated for just a moment more before complying, hesitating still. He faced the wall that was behind them, an uneasy feeling coming over him since he was unable to see Hijikata's face. Gently, Hijikata moved in and rested his chest and stomach over Gintoki's bare and sweaty back. It went without warning that Hijikata would lace his fingers over one of Gintoki's hands, as if to show affection in this heated and passionate activity. It brought some comfort, at least, that Hijikata intended to be gentle. 

There wasn't much of a pause when Hijikata guided himself inside of Gintoki, panting against his neck. Gintoki tensed up as soon as he felt it touch him, and only tensed up more when it entered. His voice, unfortunately, allowed itself to escape. 

"M-mmng! Gh-ah-hah! A-aagh! Ah! Haa! Hah! Hi-eeyah! Aah!" 

"Haa, haa! Haah! U-uwah....Haah...". 

Compared to last time, Hijikata slipped himself inside rather easily. Once as far in as he could reach, he kindly asked how Gintoki was holding up. 

"Better than ever...". He answered, almost sarcastically. "Haah...It...it doesn't hurt or anything so...keep going". 

That was rather bold of him to say, despite his situation in this. Even so, Hijikata chose to trust his words-while also keeping in mind that he had to be gentle. Even with lubrication, it was still quite possible to accidentally hurt Gintoki. Slowly, Hijikata pulled back his hips-Gintoki gasping and shivering at the action as he suddenly felt empty. He then moved back in at the same pace, the reaction dropping with each slow thrust. There was panting between them as they slowly got used to it, as they eased eachother in the activity that would soon grow in heat and intensity. 

"Haa, haa, haah, Hijikata...It's okay to go faster, ya know". 

"Okay, okay. Haa,..How is it, though? Alright?" 

"I dunno...I feel strange...Gah, haa...Just...go faster before I...fuckin' lose my mind". 

Hijikata kissed the nape of Gintoki's neck, running his hands down his sides and to his hips. He gripped them firmly, picking up speed and hitting Gintoki's insides harder than before. At this, Gintoki's panting grew uneven and frantic, his fingers once again digging into the bedsheets as his hips were swayed with Hijikata's. The lotion inside him squished and sputtered with every speedy thrust, his insides soon picking up each thrust as they rubbed together with Hijikata's cock. Gintoki squeezed around him, moaning as it began to tingle and heat up. 

"Haa, haa, ha-hah~...H-Hijikata...Hijika-agh! A-ah, hah! Nn! Uhn-nng! Haah...haah! W-wow...K-keep going...It's starting to...to feel good...". 

"Yeah...same here. It feels good, even with, haah, a condom...Wa-haah...Gintoki...". 

Hijikata pushed himself further, speeding up more and more as he hit and slapped against Gintoki's deepest regions, excited and in wanting. Gintoki seemed to loosen around him, his moans ringing in his ears. 

"Auh-ah! Haah! Haa! Hah! A-agh! Ah-ahn! Hi-eek! Hn-nnh! Nha-aah! Hijikata! S-so fast! Sh-shit! It...It feels good! Ah!" 

"Raise your hips up more, if you can. Can you do that?" 

"D-don't order me around ya damn-uaah!" Hijikata slammed further inside, hitting the most sensitive spot. Gintoki arched his back as the sweet, irresitable sensation coursed through him. 

Hijikata didn't halt, though. He kept thrusting, making sure to strike that spot as many times as he could. In addition to each hard, well-exercised thrust, Hijikata gribbed Gintoki's hands suddenly to hold them in place. He didn't stroke out his orgasm, that was inevitably on its way. He held on to Gintoki, to stop him. 

"Wa-hah! Agh! Hi-eek! Ah! Aah! Hijikata! Wha-what are you-oh! S-stop it! Let g-go! I'm gonna...I have to co-auh! Lemme...Lemme come!" 

Panting heavy against Gintoki's neck, running his tongue and teeth over the skin, Hijikata persisted in holding back Gintoki's hands to keep him from touching himself for a much-needed release. Each thrust had already sent Gintoki over the edge and into an abyss of pleasure and ecstacy. He could feel his release on it's way, but he wasn't being touched and couldn't touch himself. Why?! He didn't understand. Was this orgasm denial or something? No way. Hijikata wasn't sadistic like that-unless he was just being an asshole. Gintoki moaned and shivered, feeling himself leak in want. It dripped and sputtered on the comforter every time his sweet spot was hit hard. It felt so good, yet he was denied release. It was ubearable. 

"Hi-Hijikata-aa! L-lemme co-ome! Wanna come! I have to...I wanna come! You bastard, just...". 

"You will. Trust me. Just...ha-aah...G-gha...I'm holding back for you...so-gh! Nnn! Haah...Gintoki...Let it out". 

"Hijikata, I can't...I-uh! A-aah! Oh, god! I'm gonna-ah! Wha-what is this-hah! Ah! I'm co-auh! Ua-aaaah! Uwaaaaah!" 

Gintoki arched his back, jerking his hips back as he felt something close to an explosion of fluids exit from behind and a little from the front. It felt incredible. It was strangely amazing and breath-taking. He squeezed around Hijikata who, with a cry of pleasure, released too after holding back. They both got their release-an amazing one too. They trembled, both collapsing forward painfully. Heavy breaths forced their way out of their lungs, both men exhausted and with the after-feeling of pure bliss. Covered in sweat and heat, now was the time to cool off and clean up when they had the energy to do so. 

... 

Gintoki lay on his side and had been quiet since they cleaned up in the bathroom. He had...came from behind. It was so weird to think about now. How it felt and just how amazing it was, considering it was such a weird place to climax. And Hijikata intended for it, didn't he? Having done research, he obviously would have looked up the section about male orgasms. But from the back, huh? Gintoki never realised that there was such a thing in a man's body. The smell of cigarette smoke drifted past him as Hijikata blew out his next drag. He looked down at Gintoki, seeing how quiet he was being. He let out a sigh, feeling guilty. 

"Look, I'm sorry I didn't tell you that I was gonna make you...come from there. I should have but I thought you would argue with me. It was stupid of me". 

"...It's okay, dummy". Gintoki responded almost immediatly, sitting up. "I'm not angry, just surprised. You left me in quite a state, y'know". 

"Y-yeah, my bad. I won't do it again, without your permission". 

"Hm...sure. Just so you know, you'll get the same treatment soon". 

"I suppose that's fair. But, did it at least...feel good?" 

"Uh-huh. You've gotten really good at that. Need work on the blowjobs, though". 

Hijikata scratched the back of his head akwardly, blushing a bright pink across his cheeks. 

"I'm kidding, you know". 

"Yeah, I know. But that doesn't make it any less awkward for you to say". 

"Right...". 

They shared a smile, Hijikata making an effort to hide his with a drag of his cigarette. 

"You know...". Gintoki began, leaning against Hijikata, shouler-to-shoulder. "That was pretty hot, and I never thought I'd ever say that about another guy". 

"No kidding". 

"And just you wait, Hijikata. I'll introduce you and myself to all sorts. Different foreplay, cross-dressing, sex toys". 

"Wha-...sex toys?! Cross-dressing?! W-wait a moment!" 

"You can be the hot nurse and I'll be the super sexy doctor". 

"Hold on!" Hijikata argued, wanting to put Gintoki's imagination to a halt. 

"I could be the prisoner and you're the strict but sexy warden. Ooh! We could also use food and bondage-all sorts!" 

"Will you cut it out you fuckin' perveeeeert?!" 

After that night, it seemed clear that they would both be building up a lot more confidence with eachother. Gintoki was way ahead, enoying the crimson red blush across Hijikata's face as he explained the different stuff they could do in bed. This was enough proof that this sort of thing wasn't such a big deal to fear anymore. Even after only three times, this somehow only felt like the beginnng. Hoo boy...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A lot happened this chapter. And I mean a lot. We got plenty of Gintoki and Hijikata stuff, Gintoki being like a dad to Kagura and Hijikata being like a second dad (just a little), we had some Joui 4 interactions, we got Bansai and Takasugi and...Haa...Kintoki's in this. Yuuup. A lot of stuff, and a lot of stuff to come. Hope you enjoyed. I tried my best with the comedy and, if didn't work, I'm sorry. Thank you for reading chapter...12? Yeah, 12. Until next time, wonderful readers.
> 
> P.S. I gave up putting up any warning about smexy scenes since no one seemed to be complaining. If you don't like it, please complain. Thanks.


	13. Sakura Blossoms and Snowfall Are Just As Cloudy As Eachother, But Are Also Just As Pretty.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is just kinda chill. Sakura blossom veiwing and such. As I write this little note, I'm not sure if this chapter will be as long as the other's thus far. We shall see. It's a relaxing kind of chapter on my part, and hopefully the reader's. I'm gonna start then. Enjoy this chill chapter.

Finally. Finally Kagura could let her hair down and allow the wind's current to sway through each strand. She stared out, originally coming out onto this balcony to get away from the scent of cigarettes that, to her, polluted Hijikata's apartment. It was April, the time when the sakura blossoms were in full bloom, drifting from their branches like snowfall. From such a high distance, the small forest of cherry trees could be seen, practically glowing in the sunlight. With her hand shrouding her eyes away from the sun's blinding rays, Kagura didn't mind staying out in the heat for just a little while longer. Despite her sensitive, pale skin, she took advantage of such beautiful weather before the rain season would inevitably plummet onto the city of Tokyo. The sky was so blue, compared to the usual weather in Kyoto. She had never smiled so brightly because of sunlight. Just to be sure, Kagura took a firm grasp of her umbrella and opened it up for shade. Was it odd? Was it unusual to open up an umbrella under the sunlight and a clear blue sky? Even it was of sentimental value?

Looking over her shoulder upon smelling the pleasant aroma of food, Kagura lowered and closed her umbrella. She swiftly entered the apartment once more, feet bare and quiet across the wooden floors. She made her way to the kitchen area, seeing Hijiikata and Gintoki still at work on that bento box...or boxes. When it came to food, Kagura had the patience of a kid on Christmas Eve. Leaning her umbrella against the kitchen counter, she hopped up and quicky clung onto Gintoki's shoulders-as if she was smaller and lighter than she actually was-in order to look at the food in curiosty. Naturally, Gintok let out a noise that conveyed both surprise and slight pain in his muscles. But being used to Kagura clinging to him like the little sister character in a harem would, he didn't argue or attempt to push the girl off. The only harm it would do would be the tight pain in his shoulders that was yet to come from this. 

"Are you guys still cooking?" 

Gintoki sighed at that, deciding to answer her silly question with another question. 

"Weren't you supposed to be helping? It would make it a lot quicker". 

Kagura puffed out her cheeks, clearly reluctant to help out anymore than she did. 

"I wanna go out already and see the blossoms. How come you're making so much food, anyways?" 

"That's cause Shinpachi and Otae are gonna be meeting us there, and we all know she can't cook for shit. So we're making extra for them, in the hopes that she'll lower the biological weapon that she thinks is tamagoyaki and allow her and Patsuan to enjoy the food we made. Right, Hijikata?" 

"Basically. Also, I'll be sitting with a few Shinsengumi members such as Kondo-san, Yamazaki, Sougo and even Saito, so...". 

"What, you can't sit with us?" Kagura questioned, although reluctant to show any signs of disappointment. 

"I'll catch up with you guys later. Due to work, most of the Shinsengumi won't be staying for long. I think Sougo is sticking around and it's good that Saito is taking some time off. It's good to take work seriously, but the guy voluntarily does extra hours without really interacting with anyone outside of work". 

"He's the mute, right?" Gintoki asked as he placed sushi rolls into one of the boxes set up. 

"He's not really a mute, he just chooses not speak very much".

"Aaagh, will you two stop talking and hurry up?!" 

"Kagura-chan, you wanna get food poisoning? You wanna eat rice that's half-assed?" 

"No...Then can I at least have something just now? I'm hungry, Gin-chan". 

Kagura was practically hugging Gintoki, pulling the puppy-dog eyes once more and forcing a growl to emit from her empty stomach. Gintoki faltered. How the hell does she do it? She isn't that cute, just a brat in reality. Hijikata said nothing in argument of her manipulation methods as he continued with his task, so this was totally left to Gintoki. Of course, it wasn't a big deal since one piece of sushi or one piece of omlette couldn't hurt. It was the fact that Gintoki gave in so easily to Kagura's way of getting what she wanted. Gintoki had a strong feeling that she would be a heart-breaker when she was old enough to know exactly what that meant. Without a word of weakness, he passed a random piece of sushi, her expression and demeanor immediatly returning to that of a bright and content girl. 

"Thanks, Gin-chan". 

"I feel bad for your future boyfriend, y'know". 

Kagura hopped off of Gintoki's shoulders, leaving behind the distinct pain and nothing else. She enjoyed the food she received while it lasted, right until Hijikata and Gintoki would finish preparing the rest. Well, more accurately, she enjoyed half. 

"Here ya go, Sadaharu". 

The small dog approuched, letting out a small bark as he waited to be fed. Gintoki watched for a moment, expecting him to try and eat her whole hand...Nada. Sadaharu, strangely enough, took what he was given before receiving an affectionate petting on the head. Gintoki quietly thought to himself: "if he can do that, why doesn't she train him to sit so that he can actually earn his food somehow?". It was a nice thought, but Gintoki knew all too well that Kagura spoils her dog too much. Good thing he was small and not a giant, mutant mutt. Either way, he was left to clean uo the mess' and buy the dog food and even take him out for walks because Kagura had school. The most time she spends with him is when playing, going out on weekends, spoiling him with treats, cuddling up to him during the night and so on. Why the hell did Gintoki get left with all the dirty jobs again? 

"Hey, Kagura, remember to put Sadaharu on a leash while we're out-and you're walking him". 

"Of course I will. Have some faith in me, Gin-chan. A girl's self-confidence is fragile, after all, aru". 

Gintoki shook his head to himself, not fully understanding that statement-being someone who lacks emotinal sensitivity and who grew a back-bone the moment he learned how to walk from god-knows-who. He closed up his designated bento box, which was filled with all sorts. 

"That's mine done. Hijikata, are you-whoah! Woah, woah, woah!" 

Gintoki reacted in haste once he saw Hijikata hold a full bottle of mayonnaise over his bento box with the most casual expression anyone could have when they're about to commit such a crime against food. Call the police-wait...they're already here! And he's a mayo-addict! 

"What...?" Even his damn attitude towards such an act was casual! 

"Don't you think adding mayonnaise to that is a bit much? I know mayonnaise is basically your life partner, but if you let it tie you down you'll lose connections with the rest of the world-like your friends, collegues and...er...the person whom you're currently going out with. You know, the people who don't like your life partner as much as you do". 

"...Where the fuck did that argument go to?" 

"What I'm trying to say is: if ya love it, let it go". 

"I'm still not following". 

"There's plenty more foods in the sea". 

"Gintoki, what-". 

"For the love of god, don't drown that bento box in mayo. It'll kill someone".

Hijikata looked genuinally shocked by that statement-like Gintoi had hurt his feelings out of nowhere. He then looked quite serious, a scoff passing his lips as he put the bottle down. 

"I think you're over-reacting, but whatever. Geez, people don't know good food when they see it". 

"They would be able to if it wasn't covered in mayonnaise".

"Y'know what...". 

"Alright, Kagura-chan, we're ready~". Gintoki interupted Hijikata, collecting the bento boxes and storing them into their pre-prepared picnic bag, which also carried water bottles, sake and poop bags for Sadaharu. It was a park, after all. Better to protect nature than to get yelled at by the district police on patrol, or by Hijikata anyway. 

With that, Kagura took the leash she brought and clipped it to Sadaharu's collar. 

"Okay, c'mon, Sadaharu. Be on your best behaviour, okay? Although you're still allowed to bite Gin-chan". 

"I heard that, ya brat. If that dog bites me again, he can expect a trip to the vet. Can't you boy? Yes, if you bite my hand off I'll have your balls cut off. Yes I will~". 

Gintoki said it in a happy tone, kneeling down and petting Sadaharu as if praising him, but he wasn't easily fooled. Before notice, Sadaharu clamped his jaws around Gintoki's hand as he tried to retract it. There was a pause, a stream of blood pooling from Gintoki's hand after a very distinct crunching noise emitted from the bone. 

"Aaaaaah! Fuck-that hurts! That's it! To the vet we go!" 

Gintoki stood up, Sadahaur clinging to Gintoki's hand with his teety as he nawed and drew more blood. Kagura stood up too, gasping as that undesirable remark reached her ears. 

"No, don't take Sadaharu~, Gin-chan~. I promise he'll stop playin' in and out with lady dogs! So please~". 

Then Kagura clung to Gintoki's arm, digging her heels into the floorboards to stop him. And that girl was freakishly strong. 

"Agh! Nevermind my hand, you're gonna rip my whole arm off! Kagura~!" 

"Gin-chan~!" 

"Aaaahhhh....Fine~! I'm kiddin', I'm kiddin'! He's not going to the vet so...get 'im off!" 

"Yay! Hear that, Sadaharu? You still get to have lady-friends!" 

Hijikata stood behind them, sighing as he went to his bathroom to pick up the med-kit for Gintoki's hand. These guys...They were nuts, honestly. No wonder they got along so well. 

...

The sky was at its clearest, only a few clouds drifting by-clear white among the bright sun. Kagura walked on ahead down the path, sakura blossoms already reaching them, each one drifting in its own direction at around five centimeters per second. The streets closest to the park had more people than the streets of Tokyo in general. Many were gathering around to watch the cherry blossoms. Of course they would. It was a beautiful sight, something worth witnessing before the pretty petals would rot and wither during the upcoming bombardment of rain showers. So, while it was nice and warm, it was a perfect opportunity to enjoy the show. With Kagura going on ahead, Sadaharu walking close to her on his leash, Gintoki and Hijikata walked at their own pace, side-by-side. It was quiet between them. Gintoki had the bag slung over his shoulder, holding it securely with his bandaged hand as he kept the other safetly in his pocket. Hijikata occupied his time lighting up a cigarette before stuffing both of his hands into both pockets, every now and then taking his cigarette from between his lips to puff out the particals of smoke. Was it...obvious? 

It wasn't like they were an ordinary couple. Although it was at the back of their mind, both chose to ignore the opportunity while the streets were pretty much empty and that Kagura was walking all the way ahead without a care to look back. As the silence itself made this..."issue" more apparent, eventually they both started thinking about it. More and more until it became irritating. But they both gladly reminded themselves; "we're not an ordinary couple. This is stupid. Why am I getting so irritated? Kinda pisses me off". It was pissing them off that they were pissed off! And with something so...petty and childish. Hijikata clutched the insides of his pockets anxiously, resisting the temptation to retract the one closest to Gintoki. Gintoki was exactly the same, trying to occupy his thoughts on something else. Strawberries, the sake, the cherry blossoms, Ketsuno Ana-No, wait, that's dangerous territory now. He could only think about becoming friends with her now. Fuck. He shook his head to himself, erasing those thoughts like a kid erasing his answers on a test-in order to start over and come up with a better solution. 

To be so bashful and declined to even think about such an issue was definitely kids stuff. All he had to do was reach and let it happen. It wasn't supposed to be a big deal, to make his heart pound or his palms sweaty, along with a side dish of the shakes. They had done much worse than...than...! 

"Hey, Hijika-". 

"Uh, Gin-...". 

They fell silent. They say that great minds think alike, but...these were idiots who shared the same idiotic thinking process, but with different idiotic personalities and such. If this were...a yaoi anime or manga...God, Gintoki never thought that sentence would spring to mind. He doesn't even think about stuff like that-nevermind watch or read it! No, this relationship wasn't like that. Gintoki knew that this was real life and not an anime-so for christ sakes stop trying to pick up reference material from such fictitious media!...He thought, frustrated. For this, he wished for a whole new pair of balls. But, instead, he swallowed his pride and heterosexuality and made the first move as they continued walking. 

"A-ahem...Er, Hi-Hijikata, uh...ya know...". He began, taking his hand-closest to Hijikata-out of his pocket. "This is gonna be pretty fun, huh? The blossoms, the sake and...such". 

"...? Yeah? Y-yeah, I guess it will be". Hijikata had the same idea, taking his hand from his pocket and taking his time to reach out for Gintoki's, without batting an eye. 

"Do you think, maybe...we could, ya know...have a few drinks together?" 

"Uh...alone?" 

"Pssh, if that's what ya want. I was jus'...suggesting drinks but we could-we could be alone. And I'll save some food for ya". 

Their hands inched closer and closer, heat radiating from their palms as they reached-almost desparately towards eachother. 

"Oh, really? I'll do the same-but just because you're doing it. I don't like owing favours". 

Closer and closer, still not batting an eye. 

"J-just so you know, mine's gonna be way better, so be prepared". 

"Oh please. Mine will be better, even if there's no mayo". 

Closer... 

"Yeah, yeah, keep tellin' yourself that". 

And closer until their knuckles had finally met in the middle. Now it was just a matter of sliding their hands around and...so on. Hijikata brushed his fingers across Gintoki's. They were soft but warm. Gintoki touched Hijikata's fingertips, building up the courage to take the initiative and just grab the opprtunity while it was in reach. Taking a breath into his lungs, Gintoki grasped his courage and then-... 

"There they are! Kagura-chan! Gin-san!" 

"Everyone, we're over here~!" 

The two stopped dead, seeing Shinpachi and Otae up ahead, at the entrance to the park. Unnerved and surprised, Gintoki and Hijikata decided to bail, and in their usual fashion. Gintoki shoved Hijikata away from him, pulling a face of disgust. 

"Gah! The hell are ya touchin' me for, bastard?! Trying to get friendly with me?!" 

"Huh?! You're the one who touched me!" 

"Oh, am I?! What, like this?!" 

Gintoki held his hand close to Hijikata's face, who flinched away in disgust. The others-Kagura, Shinpachi and Otae-watched with sighs and "oh, no, not again" expressions on their faces. 

"Agh-stop it! Don't touch me!" 

"But I'm not touchin' you, Mayora-san". 

"Yes you are! Cut it out!" 

"Not touching!" 

"Yes you-". 

"I'm not touching you!" 

"Son of a bitch!" 

Hijikata suddenly grabbed Gintoki, capturing him in a headock while harshly rubbing his knuckles against his head. 

"Agghh! Kagura-chan! Kagura-chan! He's touching me~! Ewwww!" 

"Shut it, ya natural permed child!" 

"Ack! Owowowowow! It hurts~! I don't wanna play anymore~! Agh! Stop it, moron!" 

At first this was intended to throw the others off, but then this turned into a legitamate fight between them. Gintoki struggled for a brief moment before shoving Hijikata over a short stone wall and hedges. Instead of leaving it at that, Gintoki hopped over and got on top, ruffling Hijikata's hair and slapping him in harmless, childish slaps across...anywhere and everywhere. 

"Agh! Fucker! Stop it! Ah! Hurts! Will you...s-stop?! I'll fucking kill you!" 

"Screw you!" 

Shinpachi was the one to break the ice with a sigh. 

"Haa...I'll go break it up. Kagura-chan, you should've watched those guys. Wait, how come Hijikata-san is with us in the first place?" 

"He lives next door, remember? He just decided to come along, and I told 'em both to behave or else". 

It wasn't a lie, more like half the truth. As much as Kagura didn't want to lie to Shinpachi or the Boss Lady, she wanted to Gintoki and Hijikata to tell him on their own. Maybe that was something to bring up to the two morons. 

"Ah, I see. I suppose Okita-san and maybe Kondo-san are there too". 

"Eh? Shin-chan, since when did they allow gorillas into the park?" Otae asked, the corner of her lips twitching as she forced a smile. 

"Ah-crap! Sorry, Sis'. Maybe he's not there-since he is still a police officer". 

"Since when did they allow gorillas to be members of police?" 

"Sis', please don't force yourself. We all know how much you hate being stalked-just as much as anyone would".

Shinpachi pushed his glasses up, heading towards the two idiots-who were causing a bit of a disturbance at the park already-to stop them. The straight man? Pah. Now was the chance for Shinpachi to prove that his character meant more than just a pair of glasses. More than the plain guy. The good guy. 

"Alright, you guys, break it up". He said, approuching closer and closer, ready to rip them apart from eachother as they threw slaps and even a few hard hits at eachother. Shinpachi, the sensible one, the pacifist among renegade idiots, the- 

"Alright, Alri-Gwaah!" Shinpachi's cry seemed to echo throughout the quiet area as soon as Gintoki pulled back his elbow with force as Hijikata had grabbed his wrist-with his own intention of ceasing the fighting. Gintoki ended up pulling back until his elbow struck Shinpachi's nose. Blood sputtered, the scene playing out as if in slow motion. There was the killing blow, then Shinpachi's collapse to the ground below, then realisation and then, finally, panic. 

"Gwaaah! Patsuan!" 

"Look what you've done, you stupid asshole! Is he okay?!" 

"Me?! If you hadn't have tried to stop me from hitting you, I wouldn't have hit Shinpachi!" 

"What sort of logic is that?! What kind of idiot would let an idiot like you hit them?!" 

"A masochist! But that's a different story!" 

"I didn't need to know that, bastard!" 

"Oh really? Seems like you enjoy being abused by me, since you let it happen so often. Weirdo!" 

"You're the weird one! And since when did I give off any signs that I enjoy listening to the shit that spills from your mouth, hahh?!" 

Had they both lost all sense of reason? Did either of them care that Shinpachi had collapsed with possible brain damage and a broken nose? Kagura stood there at the distance she chose to stay at, a look of disappointment in her eyes. Now she was the one who had the privelage to let out a sigh, being the next volunteer to break up the fight before they actually broke up.

... 

It was under the shower of cherry blossoms, slowly drifting to the ground, that things calmed down. Hijikata went off to join the few members of the district police who were taking advantage of their day off. Gintoki, Kagura and Otae ket up with Kyubei at their chosen spot, dragging an unconscious Shinpachi to the picnic blanket that had been pre-prepared by Kyubei and Otae upon arrival. Shinpachi lay flat under the shade, two scraps of tissue stuffed up his nose to stop the bleeding. They just hoped he could breathe through his mouth while unconscious. But just in case, Kagura was left to watch for any signs of, well, death. The girl stared intnetly at Shinpachi's broken nose, bruises and bent in a weird way that distracted her from eating the tamogoyaki between her chopsticks. She scrunched up her expression, irritated by Shinpachi's disfigured nose. 

Gintoki sipped from his sake cup, taking in the sights above while he drank. Kyubei sat quietly in thought, staring up at the beautiful, pink blossoms in awe. Her gaze only shifted when Otae brought out a bento box of her own, opening it with a smile on her face. 

"Here, everyone. I made some tamagoyaki. Dig in because I think it's my best yet". 

Gintoki didn't falter at that. Or he had given up on such a reaction a long time ago. He continued to drink in case that would numb his senses-if force fed that abomination that Otae called "tamagoyaki". Kyubei, on the other hand, looked eager as she held out her chopsticks. 

"Y-yes please, Tae-chan. I'd love some". 

"Awh, Kyu-chan, you're so sweet. But let's share it with everyone, hm? Gin-san?" 

"No thanks. I'll pass". He was blunt about it ths time, not wanting to die of some new disease that hasn't yet been named-the cause being Otae's evil experiment from her kitchen. 

"Oh, come on. I worked really hard on it". Otae picked up the black matter with her chopsticks, the unidentifyable substance crumbling and cracking and oozing between the utensils. 

"Uh...I said no thanks. H-here, Otae-san. Why don't you have what I made?" 

"Like hell I'd touch your cooking". 

"Oiii! I was blunt-but at least I was nice about it! At least mine looks edible and is edible! Right, Kagura-chan?...Eh, Kagura-?" 

"Aaaagh!" 

There was a cracking noise, and then a scream straight from the straight, glasses-wearing ma-...boy. Glasses-wearing..."boy". He jerked up, ripping the tissue from his nose, which had been cracked in place by Kagura. She was crouched down, still leaning and narrowing her eyes to check if he looked like Shinpachi again. Glasses, check...That's it, really. He gasped and panted, frantically wiping the leakage from his nostrils, effectively staining his hand with blood. His eyes were slightly blood-shot from the shock of being whacked in the face. Other than that he seemed okay. Gintoki sighed in, relief? Or maybe from the length of silence that was possibly a sign that no one cared for his cooking. He turned his head to face Otae and Kyubei again, only to be met with the black abyss that hit his face, hard and even splattered in some places, somehow. He felt suffocated as the realisation struck him. Otae's abomonation! No! Gintoki collapsed, a dark and musty sent sending him to the place between life and death. A coma of some sorts. 

"Gin-saaaaan!" 

"Gin-chaaaaan!" 

Shinpachi and Kagura called out, their only male role model on the brink of death. He twitched in several places, a string of drool escaping past his dried and parted lips before he almost frothed at the mouth. Otae stood back, smiling, brushing the black matter from her fingers with a look of pride. 

"Hmhm, see? Better than yours, right?" 

"Big sis'! Are you crazy?! Are you trying to kill Gin-san?!" 

"Kill him? He looks fine-just fine. Now, who wants seconds?" 

"Big siiiiiiis'?!" 

"W-wait, Shin-chan!" Kagura called out, holding Gintoki's limp head on her lap as she tried to fan him back to life with an old magazine, Sadaharu licking at his face. "I...I think he's trying to say something!" 

Gintoki, with whatever strength he had left, gripped onto Shinpachi's shirt and brought him in closer. 

"...! Gin-san! What is it? What are you trying to say?" 

Gintoki blinked once, forcing a smile as he looked up at them both, eyes glassy. 

"You...You guys...I just...Before old Gin-san kicks the bucket from that devil woman's cooking...Ugh...I just-kah! Hhaah..." 

Gintoki coughed, a splatter of blood flying out from his throat. He continued, still. Wishing to utter his final words under the sakura blossoms, with those two... 

"You guys...I have to tell you something...". 

"Of course, Gin-chan! Anything...". Kagura spoke, her eyes brimming with tears. Gintoki groaned, smiling-proud of these two for wanting to listen to his request. His seemingly final request... 

"Guh...Shinpachi, Kagura...T-tell...Tell Ketsuno Ana that...I already fell for...a different...butt hole". 

"What does that even meeeeeeeaaaaan?!" Shinpachi screamed, suddenly exremely pissed off with this idiot's stupidity. 

"Agh, damn it...That strawberry juice I had earlier came back up and got on my clothes". Gintoki grumbled, sitting up as he wiped away the red liquid from his chin, the stain still on his shirt. 

"When did you have strawberry juice?! Are you stupid?! Don't just make a dramatic scene over something so stupid as my sister's cooking and then have the climax be more stupidity!!" 

"Hahh? Pachie-boy, don't take life so seriously. If ya do, you'll get wrinkles on your forehead before you get laid for the first time". Gintoki spoke casually, sticking his pinky up his nose. 

"He's right. And for you, Shinpachi, that day may never come, aru". Kagura added, also sticking her pinky up her nose. 

"Don't encourage him, Kagura-chan! And weren't you nearly crying over this dirtbag earlier?!" 

"Nah, my eyes were sweating". 

"Even the author of this dumb fanfiction lied to us!" 

"Oi, oi, don't go breaking the fourth wall now, Patsuan. It's not worth it". 

"Shut up! Who cares anymore?! Can't we ever have a serious moment without something dumb coming up?! Like, ever?!" 

"Nah, nah. That idea sounds just as dumb. Now, can't we all shut up and enjoy the view?" Gintoki relaxed at those words, lying on his back with his hands behind his head. 

"Wha-...?!" 

"Yeah, Pasta boy. Shut up". Kagura swiftly added, lying down also with Sadaharu curling up next to her. 

"My, my, at least we're all relaxed now. Let's enjoy the view". Otae stared up at the trees, Kyubei following her gaze. 

"Oi! Are you all ignoring me?! Oiii!...I hate you all!" Shinpachi turned his back to everyone, sulking in the corner like a little kid. 

Then things were quiet. Peaceful. Only the sound of a distant breeze swayed in, the branches of the trees shivering and dropping more gentle bombs of pink-glimmering in the sunlight-down to the earth below. In the distance-not too far from this group-sat the district police, or some of them, anyway. Hijikata turned back to his group, shaking his head and shrugging off the nonsense that he had just listened to. Honestly, those guys...they were prone to nonsense. Cursed, really.

"So, Hijikata-san...". Okita spoke after taking a drink of his soda-since he couldn't legally drink sake yet. "Kondo-san suspects you of having a little lover hidden away". 

"...!" 

"Is that true, Vice-chief?" 

"A lover?! What's she like? Is she smart and cute?" 

"That sounds like the vice chief's type". 

Hijikata, after reacting strongly-but silently-at Okita's accusation, he puffed out a cloud of smoke in the form of a very distinct sigh. 

"You bastards can mind you're own business. More to the point, I don't have a lover or anything. Kondo-san is over-thinking things". 

"That's not what I heard". Sougo continued, spouting more nonsensical accusations. "I heard her name was Bitch-Sensei. Right, Karasuma-Sensei?" 

(Note: A Reference to the Assassination Classroom Series). 

"Who the hell are you comparing me to?!" 

"What, don't you have a Kyou-chan hidden somewhere, Tomoya-kun?" Asked one of the most insignificant charac-uh...member's of the police. 

(Also, A Reference to the Clannad Series). 

"Nah, nah, the vice chief suits a girl like Tomoyo. Strong, smart, independent and gorgeous. Mm-hm". 

"What's wrong with Kyou? She's smart, strong and really gorgeous. Also, two tsunderes who are meant for eachother". 

"I always liked Kotomi. Ya know, the childhood friend kinda girl. And she was super cute in that series, as well as smart". 

"Will you bastards shut up?! I'm not interested in anime girls!-and I don't have a lover! Geez...". 

"Not interested in anime girls? Pah...". Okita scoffed. "Tosshi would be turning in his grave". 

"Wha-...How do you...?!" Hijikata was shocked by those casual words from Okita. Hijikata knew his own past and prefered to keep particular subjects to himself. But how did Okita know about... 

"Uh-anyway...". Hijikata began, unnerved by what Okita said, bringing up a dark past that Hijikata would rather leave behind. "Uh, Saito, how are you holdin' up? Enjoying the viewing?" 

Hijikata had turned to Saito, the most quiet member of the police force. He was about to lower the scarf he had wrapped around his neck-covering his jaw and lips-in order to drink from his sake cup. He placed it down, taking out his phone and typing in a message to show the vice chief. Hijikata read the message, sighing. 

[I think the vice chief is better suited to a sweet and air-headed girl like Nagisa, yez].

He couldn't blame Kondo for having such suspicions in the first place. He was simply looking out for Hijikata and he really cared about him-as well as the rest of the police force. Hijikata wasn't lying anyway. Gintoki couldn't exactly be called a "lover" per say-the very title given to him for a minor second sending chills down Hijikata's back. He was more of...a guy who Hijikata was going out with-Hijikata also being a guy. And that wasn't something he could easily blurt out to his colleagues. If Okita found out...Hijikata didn't even want to imagine what Okita would do. Use it as blackmail, probably. 

"Welp...". Okita stood, stretching his arms up, soda still in hand. "I'm gonna take a walk. I'll catch up with you guys later". 

"Sure thing, Okita-san". 

"See ya, Okita-kun". 

Okita left, walking among the fall of sakura blossoms and taking in the view while sipping his drink. As he walked, staring up at the sights from above, a few odd memories came back to him. It wasn't like back then, being a different location and all. Yet it still felt nostalgic and very familiar to him. These memories circled in a spiral, each visual echo running through his mind like a strip of film or photographs. Back then, when he was much smaller and was always looking up. Back when he had a hand to hold, a hand that took him anywhere. So warm, but gentle. Okita stopped a ways from the group, taking a moment to look back, specifically at Hijikata. He was drinking casually, his past seemingly at a farther distance from him since then. Okita's gaze shifted down to the earth below, a few simple blossoms scattered across the bright, green grass. He was...irritated, almost. But he couldn't figure out exactly why. For Hijikata to have a lover...No. Impossible. The ass was stubborn and too closed off from the world to even want a lover. Okita walked on, trying to leave his past behind as well. He couldn't forget completely, of course. So he would leave a trail. A trail of the pain and the irritation that he felt. He had been doing that ever since, after all. 

... 

Under the shade, not a ray of sunshine pouring through to disturb the scene, Matako lay quietly with her arms behind her head. Good thing she decided to wear jeans in case the wind decided to float in. Being the hot-headed woman she was, she probably would have screamed "fuck off" to the wind-and it would. She was waiting. Waiting for her dear Shinsuke-sama and that guy Bansai to return to their spot. God knows where they went or when exactly they were coming back. Matako still old enough to drink, so she couldn't have any sake. Only a year away from being able to, as well. What a pain in the ass. Takechi disappeared too. Knowing that creep, Matako feared the worst. She opened her eyes, blinking several times as she was surprised by how bright it was all of a sudden. Closing her eyes once more, she scrunched up her face as she rubbed them with her balled up fists. Opening them once more, Matako sat up and looked around. Where the hell had they gone? She didn't want to think that she had been ditched. Why would they do that? The hell? 

... 

Somewhere deep within the cherry blossom forest (although it wasn't exactly a forest), Bansai and Takasugi walked side-by-side. It had been a while since Takasugi got the chance to breathe in fresh air. He was always cooped up in the apartment, smoking and writing for work. He had even started a new novel plan recently, so there was no doubt that he would be working hard for the rest of the year. There was that and, well, Otsuu was apparently going on tour soon. So, in that respect, Bansai would be working hard as well. He had to write music pieces, create schelduals, etc. He even had to travel around Japan, intending to meet Otsuu at least once or twice. In addition, there was plenty work at te office. That meant he wouldn't be able to see Takasugi for a while. They wouldn't have a lot of time for intamacy or "dates". They wouldn't have time for eachother. 

"It's really nice out here, isn't it?" Takasugi asked, almost lost in thought. "I haven't seen such a display of sakura blossoms since I was a child". 

"Me neither. I didn't really have any friends to watch them with, but I remember that my Father brought me to a hill outside our home. We'd watch the cherry blossoms from there". 

That was the first time Bansai had ever mentioned his background before they met. As far as Takasugi knew, though, Bansai had only lived with his father when he was a child. He never said what had happened to his mother, or if he had any siblings. Of course, he undersod that such topics weren't easy to bring up. In fact, he never talked about his childhood either. 

"Shinsuke, do you think things will be alright once I leave?" 

"Of course they will. Have a little faith in me. Besides, I don't plan to die of poor health yet. I'll wait until I retire from writing". 

"No, I don't mean that. I mean, with work and all. I daresay you may have to rely on Matako when it comes to editing or handing in manuscripts". 

"She'll be fine, but I assume you'll talk her through everything she needs to know?" 

"Yep. Seems like I have to".

"I'll, uh...Um...". Takasugi hesitated clearing his throat and looking in the other direction, away from Bansai's gaze behind a pair of sunglasses. "It'll be rather dull without you around". 

Bansai was quiet at those words, not taking his eyes off of Takasugi, who seemed flustered for a mere moment before quickly composing himself. But that didn't last very long either. Bansai reached out, taking a hold of Takasugi's hand as they walked. It was a surprise for Takasugi, his heart skipping a beat as his vulnerable hand was held securely in Bansai's. And tye guy continued to walk like nothing changed. 

"What are you...?" Takasugi was about to question Bansai's actions when... 

"There's no one around this area"...he was interupted by those reassuring and calm words. "It's alright to do this, I daresay. Besides, we might as well share these moments while I'm still here. Even if I am only going for a week or so". 

Takasugi looked to their intertwind hands, his almost limp in Bansai's as they both swayed by a few inches with the breeze. This was his first time experiencing this, having his hand held. Naturally, he laced his fingers with Bansai's and grasped onto it securely, but not tightly. Bansai let a smile curve onto his lips. 

"You're right, you know, Shinsuke". 

"...?" 

"This is nice...I daresay". 

Takasugi smiled a little too, nodding briefly as he looked off into the distance. The center of his palm formed sweat under Bansai's secure hold. This feeling of shyness dwelling within subcosciously. He hadn't felt like this for a long time-years, in fact. This relationship still left him in disbelief, but after so much already he had no choice but to believe it was real and right in front of him. They both knew that they would have to return to the usual spot with Matako and Takechi. But maybe they could walk hand-in-hand for a little while longer. It couldn't hurt, just as long as no one saw. 

... 

Kagura wandered off as well, walking away from her group-seeing as Gintoki had wandered off, Boss Lady and Kyu-chan were talking about girly, and even boyish, stuff. And Shinpachi...had taken a nap with Sadaharu from eating. As nice as the viewing was, Kagura's attention span could wander sometimes. And so she decided to wander herself. With umbrella in hand, the shade blocking out the sun once again, she looked around to see many families and couples enjoying the viewing. With a strip of sukonbu jutting from her mouth as she chewed, her gaze lingered around the disobedient siblings of a few groups that pushed and teased eachother-at least one younger sibling beginning to cry before the older apologised and rubbed circles into the brat's back. Kagura continued walking off at her own pace, pretending that she had been minding her own business the whole time. 

She came to the other side of the small woodland, cherry blossoms continuing to follow her. Once reaching that clearing, she immediatly noticed another occupant. Her expression scrunched up, realising immediatly that it was that sadist, Okita. It was in her best interest to turn back and finish off the bento box that was left with her group. But instinct told her to sit with him. Such a thought was regrettable, just as much as the act itself. After all, that guy only made an effort to tease her and to gnerally annoy Kagura until she would swing her leg or fist, hoping to strike the arrogant bastard in the face. From the angle where she stood, Kagura could see that his expression was featureless, emotionless, like he was staring into space. Kagura groaned to herself, rolling her eyes as she was unwilling to sit with him. She didn't trust that face, ever. At any moment he would play some sadistic trick, which seemed to be the equivilant of a young boy pushing a young girl into a muddy puddle. It was bullying, but was not at the same time. Gintoki did always say that boys who 'bully" girls actually liked them. She could vividly remember the ice cold chill that ran up her spine that day, as it had come back to haunt her. Kagura let out a deep sigh, beginning to walk over with regret hanging over her like a dead animal. 

She approuched, Okita seemingly failing to notice her presence. He held a bottle of soda in hand, empty-except for the marble inside. It clinked against the glass at the slightest movement. That slight movement being Okita's head turning to Kagura as she stood there, silent, with the shade of her umbrella shrouding her face partially. He arched his eyebrow, a weird expression on his stupid face. 

"The hell do you have an umbrella up for? It's sunny out, dummy". She knew then that she regretted approuching him. 

"None of your business. Anyway, how come you're sitting here yourself? No one wanna sit with you, aru? 

"No, I came here of my own free will. It's boring sitting with a bunch of old guys drinking sake while I'm stuck with a soda". 

"Aww, does Sougo-chi feel like a kid?" Kagura said with obvious sarcasm in her tone as she grinned. 

"Shut up. You're younger than me, ya know". 

"At least I can admit I'm still a kid, even if I wanna be more grown-up". 

"I'm not a kid, though. I'm an adult now". 

"Yuh-huh. Sure, sure". 

"...Are you sitting here or did you just come to waste space?" 

"Who's wasting space, asshole?" 

"Hey, I thought you were a kid. Kids shouldn't use language like that". Okita smirked just then, his mood perked up once he grabbed the opportunity to tease Kagura. 

"Hmph! I may be a kid, but I'm a mature one. Anyway, if you want me to sit with you, you'd better ask properly. I don't like being ordered around". 

Kagura crossed her arms in protest, still grasping the umbrella handle tightly. Okita rolled his eyes, sighing. 

"Do you want to sit here, China Girl?" 

"That's better...". 

Kagura sat down on the grassy beside Okita, her arms still crossed. 

"Oh, so you wanted to sit with me? Am I, like, you're best buddy, China Girl? That"s kinda sick". 

"Bastard! Who'd want to sit with you?! I'm sitting here because you looked like you were on the verge of tears from lonliness-ya big baby! Stupid sadist! Moron!" 

Kagura had tossed down her ubrella to throw her fists against Okita's arms, shoulders and wherever else. He held up hs arms to block her attacks, noticing that she was going all out to give him bruises. Kagura retreated, grabbing her umbrella and resting the handle against her shoulder, her face shrouded once again. 

"So, China Girl, how come you're sitting here instead of sitting with Danna and the Spectacles guy? Get bored?" 

Kagura shrugged. "Meh, kinda. My legs were cramping up from sitting in the same place so I moved". 

"...Touche". 

Okita looked back to the floating blossoms that drifted through the skies. He stared, those memories flashing before his eyes even though those moments were long gone. He sighed, lying on his back as he stared up at the sky, using his hand to block out the bright sun from his vision. He didn't know why such thoughts had entered his mind, or why the desire to bring them out into words grew-especially to Kagura of all people. He looked at her, the exact same expression on her face. Still, featureless, her blue eyes staring up into the sky and the cherry blossoms tyat were flowing through it like sea shells floating along the tide of the ocean. She watched, not with fascination, but a quiet nostalgia that was just as familiar to Okita as anyone else. He looked back to the sky, allowing the words to flow and drift among the blossoms. 

"...My sister used to take me to the cherry blossom viewings". These words caught Kagura's attention, a questioning look on her face. Okita did not notice as he continued on. "When I was much younger, she would take me to the isolated spots under the sakura blossom trees. It was always quiet there, always. It seems so long ago yet it's always so vivid, you know? Did you ever...do that sorta thing with your brother or...?" 

"How come your asking a quetion that has an obvious answer? I'm sure you understand that my brother didn't used be a monster, aru". 

"...Yeah, I suppose". 

"It actually used to be me, my big brother and Papi who would watch the sakura blossoms. Mama would have come to, but...Uh...". 

"You don't have to tell me, idiot. Just leave it that if ya want. I think mentioning our siblings is enough for one day, don't you think?" 

"Right. Sure...". 

Silence once again, a feeling of ease surrounding them. Kagura was kind of glad that she didn't go into a lot of detail. It would have been uneccessary to tell Okita, of all people. So, yeah, the sibling-talk was enough. Okita sat up, reaching into his zip-up's pocket for a small object. He extended it, revealing it to be a small telescope. 

"Here...". He said, passing it over to Kagura. "Use this and you can see some of the trees from down there. They're really something". 

She accepted the gesture, although giving Okita a weird look in suspicion. She held the telescope to her eye to look through and see if he was right about the view or not. Red. All she could see was red over the lense. She retracted the telescope from her eye, passing a sigh through her lips. What the hell was that for? She questioned in her head before looking to Okita to ask what the big idea was. He was snickering, muffling it with his hand as he held a sadistic look in his eyes. 

"What...What's so funny, idiot?" She asked. "Have I got something in my eye or-...!" As Kagura rubbed her eye, she felt something wet touch her skin. Looking to her hand, she gasped. Red ink was stained on her hand-and her eye! That bastard... 

"You stupid sadist! C'mere!" 

Okita got up swiftly, running away as Kagura chased him, preparing her fists for a one-sided fight. She wanted to kick his ass for making her look dumb. He was a jerk. A stupid, sadistic jerk. Okita laughed, heading straight for the woodland of trees once more to get lost in them. She obviously didn't intend to give up until she had beaten the shit out of him. At least she seemed a lot more energetic than before. Although that was worth debate to determine if that was a good thing or not, seeing her mood. 

... 

Gintoki had wandered off himself, hands stuffed into his pants pockets until those moments when he felt the need to pick something from his ear. He looked around him, seeing that a few families had taken the few park benches or picnic tables available to watch the cherry blossoms. As he did, his dead-eyed gaze shifted to a picnic table among the few others. It was occupied, but the people who occupied it caught his attention. Tsukuyo, Hinowa and that kid Seita. They made it to the viewing as well. Gintoki approuched to greet them, Tsukuyo being the one to notice him first. Hinowa followed her gaze, smiling and waving at Gintoki. Then Seita noticed as Gintoki had came close to them. He got up from his seat, rushing over to Gintoki with his arms outstretched.

"Big bro!" Seita called out to him, swiftly wrapping his small arms around Gintoki's wait and hugging him in a manly hug, as intended. 

"Hey there, kiddo". Gintoki greeted him, ruffling his hair. "Miss me?" 

"Uh-huh, it's been forever. When do you think we can play video games again?" 

"I don't know yet, but I'll come up with something-when I'm not busy". 

"Cool. Hey, come join us. Tsuuki helped Mom with the food. If ya want, I'll give ya hints on what she made 'cause I know she'd be super grateful if you had some". Seita whispered the last part, winking at Gintoki with an impish, child-like grin on his face. 

"Yes, Gin-san, why not come join us? Even for just a little while". Then Hinowa invited him over, winking at Tsukuyo. 

"W-wait a moment". Tsukuyo protested, disliking that winking from Hinowa and Seita. "Don't you have Kagura-chan and Shinpachi in your group?" 

"Kagura wandered off and Shinpachi's sleeping. Anyway, I'm not gonna intrude on your own viewing. I just wanted to say hi since I haven't seen you guys in a while".

"Aw, c'mon, Big Bro. Please? Just for a moment or two". 

Seita grabbed Gintoki's hand, which was clearly much bigger than his. With near to no resistance, Gintoki followed Seita to the picnic table and sat down on Seita's side, facing Tsukuyo who quickly gave up trying to protest. She didn't hate that he was there, she was just a little uncomfortable with Hinowa and Seita inviting him over as if they had planned this. But it was just for a moment or two. And besides, Hinowa and Seita were there also, so... 

"Um, Seita, honey, how about we go to one of the stalls over there and buy some ice cream? It couldn't hurt, right?" Hinowa suggested this, an innocent expression on her face. 

"...? O-oh, sure, Mom. Sure. That sounds good. We'll be, er, back in a flash". Seita made an expression that was just as innocent. 

"Wha-You guys...!" Tsukuyo would have objected, knowing she had to watch the table and the bento boxes and...Gintoki, since it would be rude to leave him there. 

"Come along, Seita. We'll be as quick as we can". Yeah right! 

Seita pulled Hinowa's wheelchair out from the table, pushing her towards the stalls at the far end of the park. And they weren't exactly in a rush. Tsukuyo and Gintoki were left alone. And that shouldn't have been something to make a big fuss over. After all, they were just friends. She turned to Gintoki, who was casually separating a pair of chopsticks in order to enjoy what he was offered. He said thanks for the meal before taking a piece of sliced fish from one of the boxes. Hinowa made that, to which Tsukuyo rolled her eyes as she knew such a fact didn't matter. Food was food. It didn't matter who made it. 

"Hinowa made this, didn't she?" Gintoki asked after gulping it down. 

"Eh? Y-yeah. You could tell?" Gintoki shrugged at that. 

"Perhaps. I mean, I'm sure you did a good job of helping but...I dunno. I can't really picture you as the domestic type. Not that that's a bad thing". 

"I don't think it is. I scarred my face so I could give up a domestic lifestyle and my womanhood, yet I still think I'm living a domestic life...with Hinowa and Seita". 

"That isn't a bad thing either. Never thought I'd live a comfortable life, now look where I am. I look after two brats". 

Tsukuyo gave a heart-warming smile at that, unable to picture Gintoki as a dad of any sort. He had this "lone wolf" aura around him. Yet seeing him with Kagura and Shinpachi...He was the epitime of a doting father, on a few occassions. 

"So, how have you been? Still mad at me?" Gintoki asked, resting his chin against the palm of his hand. 

"I guess not. And I'm fine, thanks. What, er...What have you been up to?" 

"...This and that". 

By "this and that", Gintoki would have said, "I'm dating a dude, thank you very much. The sex and everything is fantastic, my good friend, Tsukuyo". The euphemism "this and that" was neccessary as Gintoki felt two things about his relationship with Hijikata. The first was that they were both unsure about revealing it to anyone else, as Kagura and Otose had sort of found out on their own. The second was that he himself was unsure of just blurting it out to people like Tsukuyo or Sarutobi-who he avoided anyway so such a topic would never come to pass. He had a hunch about this...certain chemistry between himself and Tsukuyo. He, in reality, thought nothing of it and wished to treat her as a good friend-despite his sexual, perverted humor and habit of getting into trouble with her. He knew he may have given her mixed messages in the past, claiming that she was beautiful despite her scars or sticking up for her when her so-called "teacher" came back and hurt her in more ways than one. It was clear that he cared for her, despite the humor that went along with him. And he knew she cared about him. So...just to be safe, he chose to keep his secret for a little while longer. But the outcome of such a decision was unclear. 

"What do you mean by "this and that"? Are you starting a new novel or something?" 

"Something like that, yeah". Gintoki replied, scratching the back of his head. "I'll be working pretty hard this year". 

"Oh? Have you had too much sake today? For a guy like you, hard work is crazy talk". 

"Oi, don't underestimate me. I can work hard, just like anyone else. You'll see, mm-hm". 

"How will I see?" 

"Come on, I know you read my books. They're fun, aren't they?" Gintoki pulled a smug look, smirking as he watched Tsukuyo's reaction. 

"I-pah...hah...N-no I don't...". 

"Yeah, ya do. Seita told me you read them before bed and everything". 

"That-...Um...Y-yeah, whatever! I read them...Why do you care?" Tsukuyo's face was flushed. Being the sadist he was, he would have pushed on. But... 

"I dunno, it's not really a matter of caring or not. It's just nice to know that you don't think of me as being totally useless". 

"...Well, I-". 

"Ack...!" It happened so fast. Before Tsukuyo could get out two words, Gintoki was suddenly grabbed by... 

"I don't think you're totally useless, Gin-san!"...Sarutobi...Of course. She clung to his arm, her eyes glimmering. Although, from her sudden dash towards Gintoki she had appeared to have lost her glasses. "Mmm, my brave, beautiful, Gin-san...It was destiny that we meet here...". 

"O-oi! Get off of me ya crazy woman! Gah...honestly...". 

"Sa-...Sa-chan, what are you doing here?" 

"Huh? Who's there? Gin-san, were you with someone? Ah, I can't see a thing without my glasses. It better not be a woman! I will end her!" 

"Nah, nah, it's just Tsukuyo". Gintoki spoke casually, which irritated Tsukuyo slightly. 

"Hey, don't just say that as if I'm a man or something". 

"Ah, Tsuuki? Why are you here? And sitting with Gin-san of all people?" 

"None of your business". Gintoki spoke rather coldly, picking at his ear as he ignored Sarutobi's clinginess. 

"Oiii! Don't say that! She'll get the wrong idea! Sa-chan, Gintoki came to sit here. I was sitting with Hinowa and Seita but they went off somewhere". 

"Oh, so Gin-san came here of his own free will. I see, I see. Well, of course Gin-san can go wherever he wants. Uhh...If that's the case then I'll sit here as well".

"If you want to, sure". 

"Ehh?! H-hold on!" Gintoki wanted to escape from this immediatly. More accurately, from this crazy stalker. "Uh, I just remembered that I, er...I had to go do a thing...". 

"What's the matter, Gin-san? Are you feeling sick? I'll have you know I'd make an excellent nurse. I know how much you like nurses-but no woman other than myself understands that!" 

"Uh-...huh. Yeah, sure. Now, can you let go?" 

"But Gin-san...". 

"I said let go! I hate clingy women! And you reek of natto!" 

"Uwah...!" Sarutobi let go of Gintoki suddenly, cradling herself in a strange way as her cheeks flushed pink. "Gin-san is so cruel...It's so exciting!" 

"Uh, Sa-chan...". Tsukuyo muttered as she watched Gintoki escape from the picnic table. 

"Tsukuyo, I'll talk to ya later. Make sure this stalker doesn't follow me". 

"Haa...Alright, I'll take care of it". 

Gintoki began running out of there. Good call. Sarutobi was usually a collected, although strange, woman. When it came to Gintoki, she went nuts for him. 

"Eh? Tsuuki, is Gin-san still there? Eh? Huh? Damn it...I really can't see anything without my glasses. Could you help me look?" 

"Okay, okay. Just don't tread in any dog shit". 

As Sarutobi moved to the ground to find her glasses, Tsukuyo stayed standing to make sure she didn't accidentally step on them through the grass. Sarutobi was definitely head over heels for Gintoki, and it seemed like more than just her masochism to his sadism. Despite her shenanigans, she cared about him and-in all it's explicitness-loved him. That was a term that wasn't easy to pass off for any normal person. But what's normal, huh? Tsukuyo sighed. Hinowa and Seita would be very disappointed with the situation once they returned. But it wasn't Sarutobi's fault. She was just in love with a useless guy, right? A useless guy whom Tsukuyo was friends with...and nothing more. 

There was a cracking sound where Sarutobi was crawling, and she picked something up from the ground. Her grip on it was tight, a string of red blood running down her palm. 

"Are these my glasses? They feel all cracked". 

"That's because they are you moron! Honestly, you should have been more careful! Here, lemme clean that up". 

Despite Gintoki's reactions towards Sarutobi's strange advances, if there was even a one percent chance that Sarutobi had a shot with him, Tsukuyo honestly wanted her to take it. That is unless someone decided to take on the challenge of dating that guy. Tsukuyo didn't want Sarutobi to get hurt, after all. But what was to say that, eventually, she wouldn't? It's not uncommon for someone to get hurt over a love interest. It was normal. Putting Sarutobi aside, why did Tsukuyo feel such dread in the pit of her stomach? Was she...scared? Scared of what, though? 

... 

Many groups and families had began to disperse from the viewing as the afternoon drifted in. Members of the Shinsengumi headed back to the station for the later shifts, Hijikata staying behind and lingering around-much to Okita's curiosity. 

"Hey, Hijikata-san, you comin'?" 

"No thanks. I'm gonna stay behind a little while longer. Go on ahead and I'll see you at work tomorrow". 

Hijikata walked off, placing a cigarette between his lips. Like that wasn't dangerous in a wooded area. Okita walked in the opposite direction, with the rest of the guys as he dismissed Hijikata's decision to stay behind. He wasn't working until the next day anyway. 

As well as the members of police, Gintoki's small group were leaving as well. As they headed to the exit of the park, Shinpachi was the one to look back in puzzlement. 

"Hey, where's Gin-san? He isn't here yet". 

Kagura also looked back, freezing for a moment once she spotted Hijikata heading further between the tree. That's when it clicked. He was going to see Gintoki, wasn't he? With that in mind, as well as Shinpachi's naivity towards the situation, Kagura swiftly used her strength to push Shinpachi further towards the exit. Sadaharu , Otae and Kubei followd behind, Otae being the one to grasp his leash. He couldn't know just yet-not until the two idiots were ready to tell him. 

"He said he'd catch up with us later. I don't wanna wait for him-I wanna get ice cream or pudding". 

"O-okay, Kagura-chan. If you-ack! Quit pushing me! I get it, I get it! Wah! H-how strong are you?! Kagura-chan?!" 

"Hurry up, four-eyes!" 

"Oi, don't make fun of my glasses now! Kaguraaaa!" 

Shinpachi's voice echoed in the distance as Kagura shoved him further and further away from the area in which Hijikata wandered. Through the trees and the drizzling rain of sakura petals, Hijikata scimmed his surroundings as he searched for Ginoki who, so far, was nowhere to be found. They did agree to meet up once everyone else had left and spend some time together before the end of the day. Gintoki just didn't specify where they could meet exactly. So, it was a bit of a pain to go looking for him among such a cloudy area. Hijikata took in a breath of air, the cigarette between his lips unlit-since this was a wooded area. Hijikata silently hoped that Gintoki was within a clearin a place for him to smoke. 

With that thought, Hijikata found an opening among the trees. Through the trunks and the fall of pink and white, that place shone brightest. There seemed to be a slim chance that Gintoki would be within that opening, but it stood out from Hijikata's perspective and was an acceptable place to look. So, in that regard, Hijikata walked on and approuched this opening. As the light from beyong brightened-almost blinding him-Hijikata quickly shrouded his eyes with his hand. Beneath his feet, the earth felt steep and seemed to be traversing upward. He stopped, unsure if Gintoki was truely here. The image of an idle guy like him making any sort of physical climb was laughable almost. But as Hijikata's vision grew used to the afternoon sunshine pouring down, he saw a figure at the top of this steep mound. 

A breeze swayed past them both, hair drifting and swaying with the breeze. The figure's, at the top of this mound...Their hair shone brighter than the sun itself. Silver...Gintoki... Hijikata took in another deep breath before approuching, without a word to pass until he would reach the top. It was definitely Gintoki, that fact more obvious as Hijikata came closer and closer. Silver hair, back leaning against the cherry tree, arms behind his head, eyes closed as if in slumber. Hijikata stopped at the top, panting softly with sore legs-stiff from the long session of sitting. Gintoki was silent, not uttering a word as though he had not acknowledged Hijikata's presence. Was he really asleep? It would have made sense to wake him up there and then. However, Hijikata stared for a moment. He stared at Gintoki's face. In such a flattering light, with his eyes closed, he looked...handsome. That thought alone caused a single thump to emit from Hijikata's heart, highlighted among his heart's natural pace. Gintoki's eyelashes looked a little longer, his lips visibly moist from drinking sake. He was relaxed, still, calm. More so than when he was awake.

Hijikata kneeled beside Gintoki, gripping his shoulder in order to shake him back to consciousness. If he woke up and Hijikata was just staring at him then it would definitely look weird. He shook Gintoki gently, calling out to him in a soft tone. Gintoki's expression scrunched up, a groan emitting from his throat. Relaxing once more, Gintoki's eyes slowly opened-just a little. He blinked a few times, rubbing his eyes and yawning the sleep away. Once he looked to Hijikata, a smile was brought to his moist lips, which he swiftly licked. 

"Hey, you". He muttered, taking a deep inhale before sighing in relief. "What took you so long?" 

"Hey, it's not my fault that you didn't specify our meeting spot. I've never been around here, in this spot I mean". 

"Hm...Do you like this spot?" 

Hijikata was caught off guard by the question, but swiftly decided to come up with an opinion. He looked on ahead, towards a stunning view of rest of the park. Open spaces stretched out past the sakura trees, spaces where children played made-up games or sport during the afternoon. The city lay just beyond that, the sun's mellow rays and the bright orange sky reflecting off of the building's mirrors. No traffic could be heard from that spot, nor the crowds of people wandering within the city. Just the breeze, and an amazing silence that allowed you to take it all in with interuption. 

"It's...breathtaking". Hijikata answered rather honestly. It was an accidental honestly which was enough evidence that he was in awe. Gintoki chuckled, sitting up-right. 

"I'm glad. Took me forever to find this spot at the right time. What a view, huh? Speaking of which...". Gintoki reached into his picnic bag, taking out a half-empty bottle of sake and two glasses. "Did you think I was a nicer view than this? Seemed to me that you thought I was quite dashing, even if I was sleeping". 

"Eh? I didn't...Wh-what are you talking about, moron? Who thinks you're "dashing" and what were they on?" 

"Come on~, don't hide it. I know you were staring at me as if you wanted to...I dunno...For a moment you looked like the type of guy to smell a piece of my clothes when I'm not around". 

"What sort of weird accusation is that?! Why the hell would I smell your clothes?! Anyway, they'd probably reek of expired strawberry milk or curry". 

"Just my Death Note t-shirt. I swear to god that show always puts me on edge. What came next was such a fuckin' shocker that I spilled sweet curry on my shirt. It was a damn good shirt". 

"Why the hell were you wearing a Death Note shirt while watching Death Note?" 

"They were showing specials, back-to-back episodes, and I am an anime patriot. Not an otaku or a hikikimori. I'm more of a casual". 

"Sounds like an otaku to me". 

"If I was an otaku, I wouldn't be out here with the person I'm dating, now would I? I'd be sitting at home, watching anime, surrounded by used tissues". 

"Oiii! This is the twenty-first century! You can't generalise that type of culture anymore!" 

"Pssh, whatever. Now are we drinkin' booze or what?" 

"And now you're switchng subjects...Haah, fine, whatever". 

Hijikata took a sake cup in hand, having Gintoki pour some out for him. He sat beside Gintoki, careful as not to spill any sake. Gintoki poured some out for himself before leaning back against the tree once again, letting out a relaxed sigh. 

"Haaah...This is nice. Sittin' here, drinking with my first ever romantic interest. Never thought I'd have one of those". 

"Che...Me neither". 

"Never thought I'd get so used to playing around that once I found someone special, I wouldn't miss just...playing around. I don't miss it, which sounds crazy-I know-but...". 

"It doesn't sound crazy". Hijikata interupted, his demeanor calm and understanding. "It sounds normal to me". 

"...Do you think...Do you think of me as someone special?" 

Hijikata hesitated. To think of Gintoki as being "special", in a sense felt odd, almost. But, in all honesty, as of the past few weeks, Gintoki had become just as significant as anyone else in Hijikata's life. So, in a way, he was special...but not unique, relationship-wise. The only way he was unique in that way was that Gintoki was the first person that Hijikata actually dated and had slept with in a meaningful way. There was no use beating around the bush. So Hijikata wanted to just say it. 

"I...I suppose. Am I the...same to you?" 

"I guess? To me, you're a pretty significant guy. And I never thought I'd ever say that, given the circumstances". 

"Then I think I'm...glad. Yeah...". 

They stared at eachother, smiles and blushes of the like shared in those few seconds. Gintoki's eyes wandered down, and as they did his hand reach towards Hijikata's. He grasped it, holding it, his warm touch and soft. Hijikata was surprised, but gave away very little reaction to such a gesture. 

"We wanted to do this earlier, right? Perfect timing now that we're alone". 

Hijikata's blush grew a darker shade, but he smiled nevertheless. They had never held hands outside before. It wasn't as if they were walking among the public like this, but the sense that they were outside, holding hands without much shame made it an expereince. 

"Hah, Gintoki, since when did you become such a sap?" Hijikata asked, refraining from grasping Gintoki's hand. 

"It ain't my fault that you wanted to hold hands in the first place. I saw that look in your eyes". 

"What look? And you're the one who seemed more keen to do that sorta thing, reaching over to me and all". 

"Shut up-you did it too". 

Hijikata chuckled, fauling to argue back like normal. This wasn't as aggressive as per normal, though. It was more playful. And strange. Gintoki looked out towards the horizon, taking a sip of his drink with his hand gripping Hijikata's. 

"Hey, Gintoki...". Hijikata began, although careless as to whether Gintoki looked his way or not to answer. "Did you ever, ya know, come to sakura blossom viewing with someone else? Other than Spectacles and the China Girl, I mean". 

"...I, uh...I did. How about you? Before the Gorilla and Okita-kun" 

"Hm? Y-yeah, once or twice...maybe even before I could remember". 

Gintoki nodded at that, his eyes actually focusing on Hijikata. This seemed like another good opportunity to open up while the moment was right. They had talked about quite a few topics that used to be locked away somewhere, only to be unlocked by the comforting words that they passed to eachother-ans only eachother, really. Gintoki took a breath, wishing to begin. If it was just this one, happy, giddy childhood memory then that alone was enough to satisfy them both and put their minds and curiosity at ease. Still holding Hijikata's hand, Gintoki spoke-but took his time to choose his words carefully. Somehow he got the notion that his hands and fingers would tremble at every word. They didn't. Surprisingly, he was still and relaxed. 

"I, er...I used to watch the cherry blossms with some old childhood pals of mine. We would go out at times like this and sit under the trees. There were other kids, too. But out of all of them, we were the most energetic and mischevious. It never stopped being fun-not for a moment". 

"...". Hijikata didn't respond, but he felt at ease at those vague words. He nodded and sighed. "I actually...I used to go see the viewing with my big brother". 

"...?" Hijikata's brother... 

"He was the only one to take me. The first time I saw the cherry blossoms with him, he was cutting my hair outside of their house to make me look more like a boy. He called it 'summer's snowfall', I think. That was one of my fondest memories of him, y'know. I'll never forget it". 

Hijikata brushed his fingers, of his free hand, down the nape of his neck. He had an expression that conveyed a sad nostalgia. He was depressed about the memory, but it wasn't entirely happy to him either. It was a fond memory, but every image that would inevitably flash in his head was quite painful. Gintoki furrowed his eyebrows. 

"Oi, oi, you just went into more detail than me. That's not fair". 

"Huh...?" Hijikata snapped out of his expression, looking at Gintoki with confusion. 

"Fine, then. I'll have you know that I climbed the tallest tree there and got into trouble for it. But the person who got me into trouble did it with a smile. That person always smiled, no matter what". 

"Someone special?" 

"Yeah, you could say that. But I won't say anymore, so we'll call it quits for one day". 

"...Okay. We're even on opening up for today. Do you wanna just enjoy the view, then?" 

"And the sake". 

"And this...hand-holding, thing?" 

"Nah. You're hand is mega sweaty. Although, I'm not complaining". 

"Uh...Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you just make a sexual joke?" 

"Haah! Dirty, dirty, Hijikata. Ooh, you're so perverted~". 

"That's you! You're the perverted one! What's with that tone?! And, besides, if my hand is sweaty, let go!" 

"No way". 

"Why not?!" 

"Because you looked really cute when I held it in the first place". 

"Agh! You...!" 

"Pervert? Asshole? Baka?" 

"Don't try to make me out to be a tsundere! I'll strike you where you sit!" 

"Uwaaah...So scary~! But so cute...and feisty". 

"Agggh....!" 

Under the cherry blossoms, under the bright orange sky, Gintoki and Hijikata sat underneath a big, sakura tree atop the small hill. They drank quietly, although something would come up to make them quarrel. But that seemed to be disregarded as nothing more than a minor spat between them as they continued to hold hands, fingers laced together, intertwind. They would drink, talk and quarrel every now and then, not paying attention to the sun's light falling gradually. They focused more on eachother. Eachother, the cherry blossoms and the old memories around this time of year that came back in the form of smiles. Like snowfall, huh? Summer's snowfall...Seemed accurate enough. True, even. Gintoki smiled at the thought, sipping his drink as he squeezed Hijikata's hand in his.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was shorter than usual, but I said before it was just a relaxing kind of chapter with some pairing stuff. The next might be a bit longer. We shall definitely see. Until next time, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Bye.


	14. Many Secrets Don't Last Long.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter. Okay. Back to "normality", I guess. No lazy chapters today, or whenever I post this. Things are going well with this fanfiction so far, and I am very grateful for all the continued support. :) So, anyway, here we go with the 14th chapter.

Secrets, many of which small and insignificant, don't last very long. A secret is only a secret if kept my a single individual until they pass away. A secret is only a secret if two individuals make a pact together and stick to it, not telling a single soul about it. It's small, harmless secrets that escape one's thoughts easily and it becomes a conversation topic rather than a secret. Keeping these secrets, although seemingly harmless, may in fact be harmful to others the longer you keep them. It depends, really. If someone wishes for their business to remain that way, then so be it. But many secrets...do not last.

Shinpachi, giddy and energetic from the Otsuu-chan concert down at the stadium, walked into an apartment building while mumbling the lyrics to one of the idol's songs. His hearing was a little impared from the loud noises that echoed in his ears and sent waves of ringing through them. In the air he could still smell the steryotypical otaku crowding the audience and pushing against his back as he and his fan club cheered as loud as thry could, incidentally ruining their voice. He headed for the stairs, taking his time as he moved to the music in his head-the receptionist of this building giving him a weird look that he obviously didn't notice with his back turned. Shinpachi had a bag in hand, a favour he owed for particular tutoring lessons. Gintoki, the man who lived in the biggest apartment on the building. Well, aside from the apartment next door. Hijikata-san lived there, as Shinpachi had only recently found out. He was concerned about their usual routine of getting into fights about petty things. It was something to roll your eyes at by now. Shinpachi continued up, the song in his head ending as he walked normally-wanting to avoid tripping and falling down the long flight of stairs. He wanted to hurry before he reached the encore. 

At the top of the stairs, at the top floor, Gintoki and Hijikata had just come back from a little date of their's, the activity of going out somewhere together becoming more frequent with comfortability. Gintoki took hold of Hijikata's hand, bringing him over to the wall closest to Hijikata's apartment door. Wrapping his arm around his waist swiftly and bringing him into a flavoured kiss-after the chocolate he had previously-Hijikata was incapable of getting one word in. His hand was held against the wall, Gintoki's fingers laced through perfectly. Hijikata, with his free hand, used his strength to shove Gintoki away from the kiss although his arm was still wrapped around Hijikata's waist securely. 

"Haa...What the hell do you think you're doing, in the middle of the hallway?" Hijikata questioned, receiving a little smirk from Gintoki. 

"What? I just wanted to kiss you. We've been out all evening, and I was slowly reaching my limit of wanting to kiss you. So, before we would inevitably go into your apartment and make-out on the sofa, I wanted to get one out here. That's what I think I'm doing". 

"Tch...You need to be more patient, and warn me the next time you're dying for attention". 

"Oi, I wasn't dying for attention. I just wanted a little kiss from you, that"s all. Now can we go into your place? I'm getting antsy waiting out here, where we could get caught". 

"Fine, fine. Hold your horses". 

"Who says that anymore?" 

"Doesn't matter. Now lemme go so I can get out the key".

Gintoki moved away from Hijikata, although still smirking as he allowed Hijikata to take out his key. 

"Y'know, you look cute when you're all serious". 

"Could you not say stuff like that?" 

"Why? It makes you blush like crazy, which makes you even cuter". 

"H-hey...!" 

Gintoki had wrapped his arms around Hijikata once more, kissing his shoulder and the back of his head. 

"Come on, you can still unlock the door like this. Here, lemme help you out". 

Gintoki took hold of Hijikata's hand, which was grasping the key. Gently, while placing kisses along his ear, Gintoki guided the key into the keyhole and turned it with Hijikata's hand. A crimson blush covered Hijikata's cheeks, seeing how smooth Gintoki was being despite his usual self-useless and a seemingly lazy kind of lover. He hadn't been drinking that night-neither of them had. So why wasn't he being as lazy as Hijikata expected? The door was unlocked with a click, the key rattling softly in Hijikata's hand. 

"There we go. Now...". Gintoki began, waiting for the door to be opened-awaiting his opportunity to pounce. But... 

"...?" Hijikata was the one with a questioning look at the sound of footsteps. 

"...!" Gintoki was the one who panicked when hearing very familiar lyrics in a familiar, tone-deaf voice. "Shit..!" Gintoki whispered. "It's Shinpachi! Q-quick, we've gotta-....!" 

The footsteps and the singing grew more clear, the two men panicking at their approuch. Shinpachi, unaware of what lay beyond. Once the boy reached the top, he jolted in shock-his ears suddenly ceased ringing and his eyes widened. What... 

"And I said that Ketsuno Ana is way hotter that the girl at the convenience store!" Gintoki yelled, crossing his arms and giving a frustrated look towards...Hijikata. 

"I never said either was hot or attractive! I said that they looked simliar! Don't get the wrong idea about me!" 

"Oh really? I think you like the convenience store girl. Well, I'll have you know that she preferes stupid Madaos instead of mayo-addicted cops with a wrinkled forehead!" 

"It's not wrinkled, you bastard!" 

"It is! See?! You frown way too much and that's why you'll look like an old man once you're thirty! Gah! It pisses me off!" 

Gintoki slapped his hand against Hijikata's forehead, hiding these supposed "wrinkles" beneath his palm. Hijikata looked pissed, grabbing Gintoki by the collar of his t-shirt. 

"Bastard..!" Hijikata raised his fist, ready to strike. 

"Woah! Woah! Woah! Back off! That's enough, you two!" Once Shinpachi decided to step in, he got inbetween them both, pushing them away from eachother. Gintoki swiftly backed off, covering his nose with a look of disgust. 

"Oh, god! Shinpachi! You smell like an otaku's sweat! Geeeez! Ugh...". 

"Shut up! What the hell are you two quarreling about now? Can't you guys be civil for five minutes?!" 

"He started it!" Gintoki and Hijikata both cried, pointing at eachother in accusation. 

"I don't give a damn about who started it! Idiots! Can't you both just go back into your apartments and stop fighting?!" Shinpachi began to cough, his voice wasted on a few hours of cheering at the top of his lungs. Gintoki patted his back. 

"Okay, okay, easy, Patsuan. Hijikata-kun and I will go back into our apartments quietly, alright?" Without Shinpachi noticing, Gintoki winked at Hijikata. Although, strangely he didn't receive much of a reaction. Hijikata turned back, heading into his apartment without a word. What was up with him? Gintoki pondered. 

"Haa...Uh, Gin-san, here. I brought these". Shinpachi help up a plastic bag to Gintoki. It wasn't heavy. 

'What is it?" Gintoki asked, looking inside. His eyes lit up. Sweets! Lots and lots of sweets lay inside of different brands and flavours. "Wow, Patsuan, you're not a good-for-nothing after all. But what's this for?" 

"I'll ignore the fact that you called me a good-for-nothing. Um, it's a way of thanking you for all the tutoring. While I was gone for Otsuu-chan's concert, I went into a local sweet store in the area and bought a few thngs that I thought you would like. You've really helped me out with exams and stuff, so I wanted to thank you properly". 

"There's no need for that, kiddo, but...I'll take 'em anyway, since it'd be a waste and it shows how much you know me". 

"Haha, I guess. Well, I'll see ya later, Gin-san. Have a good night". 

"Whoah, wait a minute". Gintoki stopped Shinpachi just as he was about to leave. "Are you planning on walking home yourself? This late at night?" 

"I'll be fine. It isn't that far anyway". 

"Don't be stupid. It's not that bright out tonight, anything could happen". Gintoki looked to Hijikata's apartment door for a moment, silently telling himself that it would have to wait a moment. "I'll walk ya at least part-way. My stupid conscience wouldn't gimme a rest if I didn't". 

"Really? I guess it can't be helped then".

Gintoki began to walk Shinpachi back down the steps of the building, his hands stuffed into his pockets. That was a pretty close call, back there. What if Shinpachi had caught them like that? Clinging to eachother? Gintoki hated to imagine the shock on his face. He had originally decided to tell Shinpachi on his own when the time was right. Maybe...that time was approuching quicker than Gintoki had thought. It couldn't hurt. It wasn't like Shinpachi to be prejudice, except towards 2D-obsessed otakus rather than idol-obsessed otakus, like himself. Gintoki let out an internal sigh at the thought of how Shinpachi would react. 

...

Hijikata lay under his bedsheets, back upright against the headboard and pillows. His knees were propped up, a novel open and resting on them. The only light in the room was the lamp beside him, shining dimly in the darkened bedroom. He was patient for Gintoki to return from the bathroom. Once he had actually come back to the apartment, there wasn't much time to "make-out on the sofa" as Hijikata had swiftly decided to take a bath an settle in for the night, inviting Gintoki to join him. Despite focusing on the book-one of Gintoki's novels-Hijikata's thoughts were clouded by the same topic. He couldn't relax until he got some closure about it. A good start with that was to talk about it with Gintoki. Speaking of which... 

Gintoki exited the bathroom, looking at Hijikata was an impish smirk on his face. Hijikata didn't look at Gintoki, and kept his eyes on the pages if his book. Gintoki made his way over to Hijikata, creeping quietly until he crawled onto the bed. It creaked beneath him, Hijikata giving no reaction as he was already aware of Gintoki's presence. Gintoki crawled closer towards Hijikata, leaning in comfortably before pressing his lips to Hijikata's shoulder once, then twice. He leaned in further, placing softly kisses along Hijikata's shoulder, which was covered by the soft material of his t-shirt. Hijikata paid no attention to him, turning to the next page without a care as Gintoki continued to plant kisses without a care. He directed his smooches to Hijikata's neck and face, ignoring the fact that Hijikata was basically ignoring him, kind of.

Gintoki's soft strands of hair brushed against Hijikata's face; his temple, cheek and ear. It tickled, but he gave no reaction. Gintoki, still smirking, look at Hijikata's focused expression. Seeing as Hijikata was silently and calmly refusing to pay any attention to his affection, it was enough to make Gintoki's brow furrow. He admitted that Hijikata looked kind of cute when he was serious-but this was just plain indifference right now. 

"Oi, are you feelin' these kisses or what?" 

Hijikata raised his gaze away from the book, trying to keep the line he was at in mind. He looked right at Gintoki, still quite serious. 

"Are you done?" He asked, sarcastically. 

"What's up with you? Not in the mood tonight?" 

"...Gintoki, can I ask you a serious question?"

"Ah? What's this all of a sudden? Look, if it's about my over-confidence with you...". 

"A-actually, it is, kind of-not that I think your confidence is a bad thing, I just...Doesn't it still feel a little strange to you?" 

"What, you and me? Hijikata...". 

"Look, I know what you're gonna say. I know we've discussed this here and there but...". Hijikata placed his bookmark between pages, shutting the book and setting it aside. He paused, taking a breath before speaking. "It still feels odd to me, dating another man-even just a little bit. I mean, if either one of us was a woman, it'd surely be something to gloat about, right? But at our age, because we're both men, it...it's-". 

"-not something that we can simply blurt out. I know, I know. But we haven't told anyone other than Kagura and the old hag. Aside from them, it's only me and you with no one else to look at us and judge us. So don't worry so much, ya dummy". 

Gintoki placed his hand on top of Hijikata's head, gently ruffling his hair with a smirk back on his smug, stupid face. 

"Ack, you're dumber than I am". 

"Nuh-uh, you're the one fretting over stupid shit while I'm fretting about my Gintoki Junior. While you're worrying endlessly about how strange it is to date me, I'm worrying about all the action I get to have with you--action that I haven't had since I was in my early twenties". 

"Are you implying that I'm the best sex you've ever had?" Hijikata asked, although knowing such a question would make him flustered. He smirked past it as he was unsure of the correct reaction in such a situation. He was on the verge of snickering with embarrassment. 

Gintoki fell back onto his proclaimed side of the bed, arms swiftly reaching the back of his head. He didn't look at Hijikata, not uttering a word for a moment or two before he shrugged. 

"Who knows. I haven't really thought about it". 

"I would be offended if I wasn't the only guy you've slept with. Does it...feel different with a man?" 

"Shouldn't you be able to answer that yourself? We've both slept with women before, we've both expereinced top and bottom with a man so you should be able tell, right?" 

"Y-yeah, but I'm just asking you. I'm sure you've had plenty of experience". 

"Pssh...I wish. This is the most sex I've had with one individual person-and it's a guy to boot. Plus there's all the kissing and hand-holding and stuff. And ya know what? I'll be straight with ya, it doesn't bother me as much as before. Y'know, when we started this relationship about a month back". 

"Nearly two months". 

"And it still feels weird to you?" 

Hijikata thought it over for a second or two, any longer would have been unnecesary. But, does the amount of time matter? Maybe it does, but only because most people would get used to a relationship by then. 

"...I guess...not". 

"Good boy. Now we gonna do it or...?" 

"I think I'll just go to sleep. I'm tired and I have work tomorrow. It'll be pretty busy at the station until the afternoon". 

Hijikata shut of his lamp, laying down and pulling the bedsheets up. Gintoki remained in the same position, staring up at the ceiling with a blank expression. The room was dark in an instant, as soon as Hijikata turned the lamp off. They were at a short distance from eachother, not huddled together or anything. How fuckin' domestic was this? 

"Hey, come closer". Gintoki muttered, staying put as he waited for Hijikata to move. 

"Why? Wanna cuddle up? I'll have to say no". 

"Eh?! Why? Do you not trust me?" 

"It's not that I don't trust you. I don't trust your libido". 

"Aw, come on. Nothin' will happen if you rest your head on my chest. I'll be good". Hijikata let out a sigh, the matress creaking as he crawled over to Gintoki's side. Gintoki smirked, triumphant. At least Hijikata couldn't see- 

"I can see that smirk, you know". Hijikata muttered, huddling closer to Gintoki. His chin rested on Gintoki's shoulder, his hand on his chest, his cheek against the pillow-comfortably. 

Gintoki rested his arm across Hijikata's shoulders, strands of hair brushing Gintoki's lips and nose. Staring up at the ceiling, Gintoki pondered silently. Hijikata was quiet, drifting off into dreamland while Gintoki made an effort to escape his. It was okay for Hijikata to still feel a little odd about the relationship, but if it was really working then, eventually, Hijikata would stop feeling that way and fully enjoy the things that Gintoki had found pleasure in-and he wasn't even thinking about sex. More like the dates and such. Gintoki shut his eyes, although still conscious for a while. His mind drifted into a blank state. Good. He found it to be more challenging to sleep while thinking. 

... 

... 

It was during the morning, after Hijikata headed for work with a goodbye and a "I'll call you when my shift is over". Gintoki had began a new novel after the hyoe and excitement for his previous book had died down. It was just another book for mother's to quietly read on the beach, or for teenagers to talk about at their school's literature club. He made his workspace as comfortable as possible, knowing well enough that he couldn't work with a sore back and no strawberry milk on his desk. For some odd reason, it felt more professional to drink said strawberry milk from a mug. In this space, in this environment, he could work peacefully-especially when Kagura was at school. Gintoki dreaded summer break for two reasons; scorching hot conditions, and Kagura's stage of total boredom when her friends decided to go make-up shopping rather than hang out with Kagura. Or did Kagura simply not want to hang out with them? Anyway... 

Gintoki had set up his desk accordingly to his comfortability. Leather chair with a plumped up pillow to lean on, mug of strawberry milk, notepad and pen, plenty of leg room under his desk and his Ketsuno Ana figure to keep him motivated. He parked his ass on his leather chair, the wheels squeaking and creaking as he pushed himself in. A blank word document was set up before him on his laptop. Gintoki cracked his knuckles and stretched his back in preparation, his muscles loosening once he was perfectly content. The only thing missing from all of this was a cigarette between his lips. But he didn't feel that weak yet. Not yet. Looking over the notes he made so far, recalling the ideas that he played back in his head, Gintoki had a fair idea on how to start this novel. Taking a few moments to read over his ideas, Gintoki leaned back in his chair-skillfully pushing his foot down on the break to keep the chair from rolling away from his desk. 

At this point, during the beginning, ideas sparked and the words simply flowed before Gintoki had the chance to type them. Determind to begin smoothly, he began. The tapping of each key on his laptop was a satisfying collection of sounds. It had been a while since he started writing a novel. Over the years, he had acquired a technique that saved him a lot of time; to not tell Otose his new idea so that she couldn't set deadlines for chapters. Of course he mentioned that a new novel had been on his mind, but he never planned on telling her that he had started until there was a clear plan on where this novel would go. The story, the characters, the plot-things that had to be thought out carefully to prevent a serious case of writers block or to prevent throwing in the towel half-way. Just like the last books, Gintoki had a good idea on where this story would end up. The only worries he had was the ending, character development and the idea of a rejection from the old hag. "It's crap. Write something worth selling", or, "Are you getting rusty? The pace is slow, you're slow", etcetera, etcetera. 

Those thoughts nearly drove Gintoki to buying a pack of cigarettes a few times. The bottom line is that deadlines are crippling weights on a writers limbs-and their mind. Chains that tie them down into a pit of stress and a sense of hopelessness. "If you're dearlines aren't met, there's no hope in finishing the damn thing", or so the phrase went. Who said it again? Gintoki himself? Probably. He couldn't remember. His mind was currently fuzzy with ideas, a beaming light of encouragement and determination that would inevitably deteriate through time. Months of work and it would only become more and more exhausting. He would go back to being his usual, lazy, half-assed self in no time. So while he was as determind as Frisk during a boss battle, he knew he would finish the first chapter with a clear head, willing and ready to move onto the next chapter with high hopes for this story that would surely break some hearts. However...It didn't take too long for cycle to begin early. 

... 

Gintoki leaned back in his chair, half a mug of strawberry milk in his hands. He sipped, relaxing after finally completing the first chapter. He stared at his work, having to make several page-breaks on the word document and a few short breaks to think about his next move. By the time he had finished, it was the afternoon. Kagura would be returning home soon. He leaned forward for a moment, saving his work-titled "Blossoms in Winter" (a title that needed work)-before printing. He would have to look it over, check corrections and do some more planning before talking to Otose about it. The printer activated, humming soundly as it drooled out each sheet of paper-sliding out of it's narrow mouth. When the appliance went silent, Gintoki took the papers which were warm to the touch. He sorted them into appropriate order, satisfied thus far with his work. God knew that wouldn't last-come the fourth chapter.

The first chapter was placed on the desk, the need to stretch once again coursing through Gintoki's back. He reached up, clutching his hands together with his arms full outstretched. Once released, Gintoki's muscles relaxed and were loose once more. It had only been the first chapter so far, there was no telling how Otose would feel about a single chapter. Maybe a phone call and a few more chapters couldn't hurt. After all, one chapter wasn't much to go on. Aggh, what a headache. Gintoki groaned. He was a grown-ass man, fretting over such things. He was used to this by now, having created a few other best-sellers and one good book. Picking up the phone, Gintoki dialed the number to the office-Otose's number, to be more accurate. She would still be in the office at that time, dealing with authors and amateurs. With the phone to his ear, Gintoki leaned back in his chair and put his feet up on the desk. The humming lasted for a few mere seconds before it went silent and the old hag's voice came through. 

["Hello, Nihon Bungeisha publishing. Otose speaking"]. The old lady droned on, although polite. 

"Hey, Granny. Just wanted to tell ya that I'm starting up a new book and I want you to have a look at the first chapter". He heard a sigh in response. 

["Gintoki, I think we've been over this. I can see where you're coming from but I would like more than one chapter of a new novel. What, did you just finish the first chapter today?"] 

"Well...Pretty much". 

["Good. Then write at least two more for me and I'll have a look the next time you stop by. Just don't bring me a piece of shit"]. 

"Uh-huh. Thanks. That's sooo helpful". Gintoki rolled his eyes at his own sarcasm. 

["Don't gimme that attitude. Now get to work. I won't be setting any deadlines for you until I'm certain you won't piss this piece of work away. Understood?" 

"Whatever you say, old hag. Wish me luck". 

["Break a leg, and don't hesitate. I keep saying that you're a talented writer-even though you've got the personality like your natural perm; messy and obnoxious"]. 

"Alright, Granny...". 

["Lazy, too. Go get a goddamn haircut"]. 

"Bye, Grandma". 

["Okay, okay. See ya when I see you"]. 

They hung up on eachother, and Gintoki took the silence as an immediate cue to disable his desk chair's break. He pushed himself out, using his foot to twirl around in his chair. He let out a huge sigh, followed by another groan. A few more chapters...That would keep him busy, but bore him to death. Swiftly, Gintoki pushed himself back to his desk-although too swiftly. 

"Gh! Ah...owowowowow...". He had struck his knee against the desk by accident, collapsing to the floor as he curled up in agony. "Ahh, fuck, fuck, fuck...Gyaaa...Geeez-that fuckin' hurt! Gaaah...Haa...Haaah...Kagura-chan~, Shinpachi-kun~...Come home already~. Fwaaah...Stupid desk!-gyah!" Gintoki kicked his desk, a jolt of pain coursing through his toes. Idiot. "Okay, okay! Stupid Gin-san! Stupid Gin-san~! Haaah...Fuuuuck...". 

Rolling on his back, exhausted and in pain, Gintoki stared up at the ceiling. Now that he knew he would be occupied for the rest of the day, the stress began to crush him. So much so that it was surprising he didn't feel suffocated by now. He took a deep breath, the pain slowly fading. Once it had began to fade, Gintoki sat up. He had to get to work. Since there was no deadline, the next two or three chapters could have been completed the following day, knowing well enough that over-working leads to stress and stomach aches. And he certainly didn't need anymore of those during work. Two chapters, that was all for the time being. It was doable-certainly. But, at the moment, even after only one chapter, Gintoki didn't know if he was capable of keeping up morale without having a cigarette. 

... 

"Gin-chan, I'm home. Patsuan's here too". Kagura announced once entering the apartment, slipping off her shoes immediatly. 

"Hey, Gin-san. Are you working hard?" Shinoachi asked, also removing his shoes at the front entrance before closing the door and entering. 

"Mmn...". Gintoki groaned in response, his head buried within his crossed arms. 

He was resting his head on the desk, a work document in front of him. There appeared to be a few paragraphs already typed up, but had stopped halfway...depending on opinion. In other words, it seemed like a lot for two kids who write essays and assignments for school. But for Gintoki the second chapter of his book was, realistically, only a quarter finished compared to what he had in mind. The two kids looked at eachother and sighed deeply. Shinpachi approuched Gintoki first, lightly shaking him by the shoulder. 

"Hey, Gin-san, maybe you should take a break? We'll leave the English lessons for another day. I have homework anyway, so...". 

"Yeah, Gin-chan. I can just get Spectacles over here to help me with Science". 

"Oi, since when did Gin-san help you with Science in the first place?" 

"He didn't-but it's my worst subject and I know it was this sugar-freak's worst subject as well!" 

"How does that help you in any way?!" 

"Ahhh, will you brats keep it down? Ginpachi's tryin' to think and you're just yappin' on and on. So noisy...". Gintoki voice was muffled a litte, but the other two could hear every word. Gintoki sat up, rubbing his eyes and stretching. "Mmmng...Hoo...Go do your homework. If ya really need help, then just ask-but I'm not helping out with Science. I can't wrap my head around complicated shit like that". 

"Okay, thanks, Gin-san". Shinpachi thanked him, going ahead with his homework on the sofa. 

"Tch, fine. I'll ask the Mayora the next time I see his dumb face". Kagura grumbled, her cheeks puffed out in annoyance. 

"He won't help you with that attitude. Or maybe he will. Guy's a big softy when you get past the "demonic vice chief" demeanor. He still pisses me off, though. All condescending just 'cause he's a cop". 

"Ehh? Are you sure Gin-chan? I thought you and him were all-hmph!" Gintoki suddenly pushed his chair away from the desk, grabbing Kagura and clasping his hand firmly over her mouth. He was internally panicking. Did she forget that Shinpachi was right there?! 

"Hn? Gin-san, what are you doing to Kagura-chan?" 

"Nuh-nothin'! I actually think she's feeling kinda, er, ill. So I'm gonna take her to the bathroom to make sure she doesn't throw up all over the floor. Right, Kagura?" 

"Hmmph! Nnmph! Grrrr!" Kagura bit down on Gintoki's palm. He cried out, quickly retracting his hand-which drew blood. It was a pretty deep wound for a little girl to make. 

"Agh! You bitch! That was my writing hand!" 

"Oh, look, Gin-chan's bleeding. Such a clutz. Shin-chan, I'mma take this idiot to the bathroom to bandage up his hand, 'kay?" 

"Uh, Kagura-chan, that was obviously you. Clearly you bit Gin-san's hand and made it bleed". 

"Come on, Gin-chan. Stupid boy". Kagura grabbed Gintoki's wrist, squeezing it tightly. 

"Aagh! Owowowow! Kagura, cut it out! You're making it bleed more!" 

"Don't be such a baby. I learned that this prevents bleeding". 

"No it doesn't! I'm clearly bleeding more! Ugh...I feel dizzy...I think I'm gonna puke". 

"It's only a little blood. Don't be such a wimp-". Kagura's voice cut off when she slammed the bathroom door shut behind herself and Gintoki. Shinpachi was left in the dark about their weird behaviour. He could only shrug and begin his homework. 

... 

Behind the bathroom door, Gintoki had slid down to the floor in a disoriented condition. That girl had quite the set of teeth, although there was doubt in Gintoki's mind that all of them were adult teeth. He kept his hand raised a bit, shaking and trembling as blood ran down his palm and wrist. This wasn't a bite mark anymore-it was more like a goddamn stab wound. Gintoki didn't care about blood. It usually didn't phase him, but the throbbing pain mixed with blood sliding down his arm he felt dizzy and unfocused. How could such a tiny wound cause so much bleeding. Kagura stood on the bath stool, rummaging around in the medicine cabinet for the med-kit. It didn't take too long, but she made quite a mess in there. Hopping down from the stool, med-kit in hand, Kagura kneeled down beside Gintoki in order to tend to his wound. What a big fuss over a bite-and just to get away from that awkward situation. 

"Y'know, even Sadaharu's bites don't hurt as much". Gintoki decided to point out, jokingly. 

"Shut your trap. Nurse Kagura is busy tending to her moronic patient, Gin-chan". 

"I'm not the moron! You bit me in the first place!" 

"Because you were suffocating me with your hand that's been touching the Mayo-mmnph!" Gintoki clasped his clean hand over Kagura's mouth. 

"Keep your voice down!" He whispered, his tone harsh. "Do you want Shinpachi to hear?" He retracted his hand, and Kagura gasped for breath. 

"Bwahah!...Haah...Stupid, Gin-chan. How come you haven't told him by now?-He's bound to find out sooner or later". 

"Oi, I don't need you lecturing me. Now can you do me a favour and stop this bleeding? I think my hand's going numb", 

"Hmph! Fine, so bossy...". 

"I'm not being bossy, I'm just-ghah!" Kagura pressed a wash cloth into the bite, another jolt of pain coursing through Gintoki's palm and fingers. 

"Pfft, men are such big babies. Look, Gin-chan, maybe you should hurry up and tell Shin-chan what's going on. Dunno how he'll react, but I don't think he'll hate you for it". 

"Agh, why would he? It's not like I've done anything wrong. He'll probably understand and jus' get on with life as per usual". 

"Mm-hm, so tell him as soon as you can". 

"...". 

Kagura made it sound easier than it was. Of course she would, she was still a kid. And the only reason she found out was because she was suspicious and ended up asking about it, putting Gintoki in a corner. Shinpachi wasn't suspicious of anything because he wasn't around as much as Kagura. Hijikata lived right next door so sniffing around them both was inevitable, kind of. Besides, she didn't object the relationship and went on with her life as per usual, aside from the teasing towards Gintoki and Hijikata. How would Shinpachi feel? It was clear that he would bear no hate towards the relationship as the kid wasn't that prejudice. Other than that, what would his reaction be? Would he still treat Gintoki the same? Surely he would, surely he would be okay with it. But, hopefully, he wouldn't be too shocked. 

... 

Gintoki had given up on the second chapter for the time being, and focused squarely on Shinpachi's studies. After being asked for assistance, Gintoki did what he could to help Shinpachi out. Although, it did prove to be a big pain in the ass. And tiresome. 

"Gin-san, have you ever been in a motivated person?" 

"Once upon a time, yeah. But as you get older, your motivation decreases. Trying to create more ambitions to increase morale and motivation is a huge pain in the ass. Ever wonder why there are so many office workers in the world? They had so little motivation when they were in high school so they joined the Stanley Parable workforce, being told what to do instead of following their own dreams". 

"Oi, that's a deep message that we don't need to hear. Are you comparing office workers to mindless robots?" 

"Nope, just Stanley's". 

"That's no better! People who aren't gamers won't get that reference!" 

"Anyway, will ya shut up and get on with your work? I showed ya how to do it, so do it already". 

"...Fine. Geez...". 

Shinpachi continued to answer questions that most teachers probably make up on the spot. At least his old teacher could admit that with a smile. At that thought, the phone on the desk began to ring. Gintoki had a hunch on who was calling, considering the time. He picked up, holding the receiver to his ear. 

"Yeah...?" He answered casually, picking at his ear once comfortable in his chair. 

["It's me. I've finished my shift"]. As predicted, Hijikata's voice came through. Gintoki lacked reaction on purpose, knowing that Shinpachi was sitting right next to him on a spare chair from the kitchen. Gintoki acted calmly. 

"Okay, then. Uh, hold on one second...". Gintoki retracted the receiver from his ear and turned to Shinpachi, who was focused on his homework. "Hey, Shinpachi, could you leave me be for a moment or two? This call's kinda private". 

"Eh? Uh...Sure? Is it about work?" 

"I said it was private. Now scram". 

Shinpachi let out a sigh, getting up with textbooks and notes hurridly stuffed under his arm. Gintoki waited for Shinpachi to join Kagura at the other side of the room. They met eyes for a moment before Kagura patted her hand on the hardwood floor as an invitation for Shinpachi to sit and accpet the position he was placed into. Gintoki swiftly returned to his phone call, making sure to loeer his voice to a certain extent. He leaned back in his seat, propping his legs back up onto the desk. 

"I'm back". 

["Okay, good. I, er, heard that. So, the glasses-wearing kid is there right now?"]

"Yep...I've kinda wanted to discuss that with you. It's pretty...important". 

["Wow, sounds to me like you're taking something seriously for once"]. 

"That's your fault. Being around you for so long has made me more serious. I don't like it one bit". Gintoki pulled a bogus expression of dismay that Hijikata obviously couldn't see, but Hijikata, in response, still sounded rather...cheery. "And what about you? You seem to be in a lot of good moods recently". 

["That, uh, has nothing to do with you"]. 

"Li-ar. It has everything to do with me, Gin-san, the best you've ever had". 

["When did I ever say that?"] 

"Never. But I know that you're thinking it". 

["Yeah, right. Anyway, can I come over tonight? Or we could go out somewhere or...Well, anywhere we can talk privately. I'd like to talk about some things that have been on my mind as well"]. 

"...? Uh-huh...Sure? I-I guess. Uh...We could talk about tonight, at my place. If you'd like...uh...We could have dinner and, you know...". 

["Why do you sound so shy and suggestive?"] 

"It's called technique. I sound that way 'cause I'm hinting that we should...y'know...do stuff". 

["Are you still using weird technique or are you genuinly too shy to just say "sex", huh?"] 

"I'm in front of two kids you know". 

"[Ah, that makes more sense. I was concerned because you"ve been so confident with me lately. I hate to admit it, but maybe I should do the same"]. 

"Absolutely. I'm sure you'll have plenty of practice tonight. I'll see ya then, okay?" 

["Right. See you tonight"]. 

The call ended, the silence provoking a sigh from Gintoki. He put the phone down once again. Now he had a dinner to prepare, meaning that work would definitely have to wait until tomorrow. That, truth be told, was fine by him. For now, work was just work without deadlines. Work wasn't too stressful and it was fairly managable when he didn't have a wrinkled old bat breathing cigarette smoke down his neck with each chapter to be produced, within two or three weeks at a time. Besides, seeing Hijikata had become stress relief-as of recently, not before they starting going out. Maybe he could cause great anger or frustration, but not stress. Never stress or strain. Gintoki stared up at the ceiling, his chair pushed back to its limit. 

"Hey, Kagura, you going someplace tonight?" Gintoki asked, his gaze remaining affixed on the pale, blank ceiling. 

"Hm? Well, I was gonna go stay at Shinpachi's to go over homework, so...". Gintoki was curious about that, as Shinpachi was. 

"You were...?" Both boys asked in unison, although Shinpachi's tone did suggest that Kagura was imposing slightly. 

"Mn-hm. Is that okay, Patsuan? I'm kinda struggling with English too, so please? Maybe Boss Lady could help me out?" 

"I dunno. Sis' was better with social studies. Haa, but okay. If ya wanna stay, then I'll call Sis' about it in advance. I'm sure she wouldn't mind". 

"Thanks, Shin-chan. I'm gonna go make up a bag. Oh, my English notes are on the desk". 

Kagura stood up, walking over to Gintoki's desk. She leaned in, grabbing her notebook before mumbling something. 

"You owe me one". She mumbled before taking her stuff and heading to her room. 

Gintoki's gaze followed her, astonished. Kagura could be a real surprise sometimes. But it looked like she got herself and Shinpachi out of the way so Hijikata could come over. So, yeah, Gintoki did owe her a favour or a request. He just silently hoped that it was doable and not too expensive. Knowing Kagura, she would probably ask for something weird like a lifetime supply of onigiri or something of the like. Whatever she wanted, for the smallest length of time, Gintoki was grateful to her for being so sharp for once. Allowing her to know about the relationship was paying off. 

... 

During the evening, when Shinpachi and Kagura had left, Gintoki began to prepare dinner for two. Nothing too special or extravagant, just something within his capability that didn't give off the impression that he was trying too hard. Screw trying to impress Hijikata with his cooking skills. Just as long as it was edible and tasty, Gintoki didn't mind. Besides, Hijikata would probably end up drowning his portion in mayonnaise. When Hijikata did finally arrive, bottle of some good booze in hand, he explained that he had to run some quick errands before coming. Gintoki shrugged it off and said that it didn't matter, as long as he was here now. 

"So...". Gintoki began once more, picking up where he left off on the food. "How was it? Patrolling our streets and arresting law-breakers, Mr Policeman? Looks like you're pretty worn out". 

"I'm fine. Work was fine, nothing major". Hijikata responded, undoing his tie and slipping the artical of clothing off. "I had to put away some asshole causing a disturbance in another district. Er, the Minato district, if I recall. He was ranting and raving in the middle of the street and some poor girl had to call the police from a payphone". 

"Nothing major, huh? Sounds pretty chaotic to me. If you're tired, you can use the bath right now. I'll even let ya borrow some of my clothes if you ask nicely". 

"Did you really have to add the last part? I think I'll go into my apartment quickly and grab some things, seeing as you really want me to stay over tonight". 

"Hey, hey, when did I say that? I'm just suggesting that you wear my clothes to bed, since you look pretty tired. Wanna take a bath now or later?" 

"Mm...". Hijikata silently took the thought into consideration, pondering the option for a moment or two. He felt uncomfortable being in his uniform while his shift was over. He was more likely to take a bath before eating in the first place, so it couldn't hurt. But to wear Gintoki's clothes... 

"Fine, I'll take a bath here. But I'm gonna go to my apartment to grab my own clothes". 

"Haah, fine. Was worth a shot, I suppose. I think you'd look good in one of my loose t-shirts". 

"I'm gonna pretend that I didn't here that. I'll be right back".

"You know, even if we live right next to eachother, it wouldn't be a bad idea for you to keep some of your stuff at my place. I would keep some things at your's, but it would be a mess". 

"That's a bold suggestion. But, if I'm honest, it"s not a bad one. Maybe I'll end up leaving a toothbrush or something over here, if you really don't mind". 

"Of course I don't mind. Now hurry up, meal's almost ready". 

Hijikata made his temporary exit then and there. Gintoki looked over the skillet, keeping a close eye on it as his mind wandered. Their relationship was coming to the point where they would leave stuff at eachother's apartment. Interesting...Hijikata's place would end up a riot if he allowed Gintoki to leave anything in there. Even Gintoki realised this himself, smirking. 

... 

Comfortable and at ease, with a cup of iced tea in hand, Gintoki and Hijikata sat lazily on the sofa with their feet up on a comfty footstool. Now that the both of them were wearng more comfortable clothes, stomachs satisfied, their only strain was the exhaustion weighing down from work. Although their age was slowly making work harder, the situation wasn't too bad. After all, work was over until the next morning. They had the whole night to relax, depending on what they decided to do with it. The only thing on their minds was relaxation and the taste of sweetened iced tea on their lips. 

"So...". Gintoki began after the rim of his cup left his lips. "What did ya wanna talk to me about?" 

"Huh? Oh, right. That...Um, well, first of all, I think we should talk to Spectacles about you and me". 

"So you think so too? Got'cha". 

"Second of all...". Hijikata hesitated, although his demeanor conveyed determination-the will to just say it and get it over with. He exhaled, looking at Gintoki with sincere eyes. "I think...I think I'm gonna tell Kondo-san about us". 

"Wai-...Seriously? The gorilla?" 

"Hey, he may be a gorilla, but he's also a really good friend of mine who I trust with my life. He's the reason I have so much confidence in my own abilities as a cop. He even gave me a home and a family when I didn't have one. So...So...". 

"Okay, okay, I get it. No need to gimme an entire monologue about your favourite gorilla. I don't care whether you tell the gorilla or not. He"s your "good friend" as you say. If ya trust him, then I trust him". 

"Gintoki...". Hijikata's demeanor softened, seeing clearly that Gintoki was being just as trusting. "Thank you. Uh, I'll talk to him tomorrow". 

"Want me there for morale support?" 

"N-no, I should be fine on my own". 

"If you're sure. Then I guess I'll be tellin' Patsuan tomorrow as well". 

"Hey, Gintoki, about the glasses kid...Uh, I'm gonna assume that you trust him in the same way that I trust Kondo-san, but...he is still a kid, right? I mean, how do you know he won't react badly at first?" 

"I don't". Gintoki answered immediatly, feeling no need to hesitate. "Although, he may freak out a little, and I know it'll surprise him-since it is me-I think he'll accept it as it is". 

"I see. Yeah, that is true. Hm, you know, from what I've seen, that kid really looks up to you. Both him and the China Girl. It's as if you're like a big brother to them both". 

"I suppose. Although, Kagura already has a big brother and Shinpachi already has a big brother figure". 

Hijikata's eyebrow arched, his mind boggled at that. Big brother figure? Since when?-before Gintoki? 

"W-wait, since when does he have a big brother figure? Who is he?" 

"His name's Hajime Obi. He was a sort of tutor or couch for Shinpachi when his father ran a dojo way back when. The guy apparently disappeared some years ago, went travelling, I think. Shinpachi doesn't talk about him often, so I can only imagine that he hasn't heard from him or anything". 

"I see. So he looks to you like that of an elder brother, then?" 

"Mm-hm. That's something you understand, huh?" 

"Not really. I always saw my half-brother as more of a father figure". 

"Jesus, family's a pretty slipperly slope, huh?" 

"Tell me about it...".

... 

Empty cups sat on the coffee table, the leftover ice melting within and creating a fog of condensation. The two men settled in, sitting more comfortably before. The T.V was on, rerunning old soap operas that they had recorded previously. Gintoki had persisted that Hijikata come closer while they watch the television and-with such persistence-Hjikata crawled closer, hesitating a bit, before Gintoki pulled him in. Their bodies were slightly pressed together, Gintoki's arm swerving around Hijikata's waist. 

"How's this?" Gintoki asked, brushing a few loose strands of hair away from Hijikata's face. "Comfty...?" 

"...". Hijikata gave no answer. He simply shifted his gaze back to the T.V, faintly flustered. 

Gintoki slid his hand down Hijikata's hip, which was surprisingly curved perfectly-well, perfect in Gintoki's perspective. He could only imagine that going any further than that, say his rear, Gintoki would surely get stabbed or at least punched square in the jaw. Hijikata was hesitant on moving Gintoki's hand away. It wasn't really in an inappropriate place, so why react badly over nothing? He remained still. Gintoki was distracted from the television, brushing his lips over Hijikata's ear before placing a few kisses on his cheek. This time, it wasn't somehing to stay quiet about. 

"Gintoki, what the hell are you doing? Aren't you watching the series?" 

"Nope, I've seen this episode". 

"Gin-mn!" Gintoki grasped Hijikata's chin, pulling him in, tilting his head, until they swiftly met at the lips. 

He was being extremely bold again. He seemed so used to this by now, adjusting to every intimate action. Hijikata was almost envious of such confidence and wanted the same for himself. But, how? Could he possibly make a bold move and catch Gintoki off guard? To him it seemed childish to try and outmatch Gintoki in a game of "I'm much more confident with sex than you". A fact which wasn't true, in Hijikata's case-but he wouldn't ever admit that. It couldn't hurt to at least try it. If Gintoki could do it, then why couldn't he give it a try? What's the worst that could happen? 

All of a sudden, Hijikata hoisted himself up and positioned himself on top of Gintoki, who was sitting and leaning his back normally on the sofa. Hijikata made sure not to sit on Gintoki, but kept his knees firmly on either side of Gintoki's thighs. His arms wrapped around Gintoki's neck, pulling him in to continue their heated kiss. Out of surprise, Gintoki had no idea where to put his hands. This was all so sudden, yet intriguing for Hijikata to put himself in such a position. Why not ask? If it earned him a punch to the face, then so be it. Gintoki pulled away from the kiss, soft gasps escaping them both.

"Hey, Hijikata, what's with this position? Are you trying something new?" 

"Not really. I just...I can be just as bold as you. Why, got a problem with that?" 

"No, it's just...unexpected of you to be in this kinda position. Have you been doing more research?" 

"...". Hijikata didn't reply to that, his gaze shifting in a different direction. That look brought a smirk to Gintoki's lips, his hand reaching out to grasp Hijikata's chin and pull him back in for another kiss. 

Hijikata hesitated, his thoughts clouding over as he parted his lips with a subtle gasp escaping them, right before he allowed himself to indulge in another sweet kiss. He let out a moan, the sound vibrating and tickling slightly. It was only a few moments of melting into another deep kiss, spreading heat across their cheeks, before Gintoki pulled away once more. He slid his hands up and under Hijikata's shirt, pushing the piece of clothing all the way up. He grinned ear to ear when Hijikata's nipples appeared. Gesturing for Hijikata to hold his shirt up, Gintoki snaked his hands around and to Hijikata's back to hold him, to move in with his eyes closed. He kissed a random spot on Hijikata's chest, receiving no form of questioning but a few incoherent stammers. Another random spot, kissed and nipped before Gintoki boldly brush his lips over one of Hijikata's nipples. It was soft at first, right until Gintoki decided to tease and play with it. Slicking his tongue over the nub, Hijikata reacted immediatly. 

"Gh! Hah...a-uah...haah!" He gasped, Gintoki's confidence rising quickly with experimentation and excitement. 

Sucking on it, Gintoki provoked gasping, panting and moaning from Hijikata. This was actually a strange feeling for Hijikata. They had never really came across this area when it came to foreplay, and the feeling in general was so strange. The teasing continued, Gintoki's tongue and fingers teasing both nipples in order to hear all sorts of reaction from Hijikata. This position that he placed himself into, Hijikata gradually began to regret it. 

"Haa! Haa! A-aah~...Gin-Gintoki, sto-stop it...That's enou-auh! Haah! Ha-a-gh! Haah, haa! Uwa-hah...". 

Gintoki pulled away, this time using both sets of fingers to tease both nipples. 

"N-no! C-cut it out...agh, haa...a-ahn! Haa! N-not just...th-there! A-augh...S-sto-oh!" Gintoki squeezed both, twisting and flicking them as he saw fit. And Hijikata...what a sight. 

"Haha, why? Don't you like it here? If I stop, you'll be unsatisfied". 

"Th-tha-ahh! That's not what I me-eeyah! That isn't what I m-mean! Do-don't just touch...th-there! I wan-n-nh! Aah...". 

"Wow, your face is as red as an apple. Does this feel that good, or are you really embarrassed right now?" 

"Just...sh-shut the fuck up and-nngh! Ha, ah, haa...". 

"Tsk, tsk, tsk, such foul language, You have a really dirty mouth, don't you?" 

"Gh! Sh-shut up and ju-uh! Haa...Stop touching me there! It-uwa-haa!" 

"Why? The face you're making is so cute, and you look like you could get off with just this". 

"N-no I won't! That's why you should...You should...!" 

"I should what?" Of all times that they do this sort of thing, Gintoki brings out his sadistic side now, much to Hijikata's dismay. Boy, that was a fuckin' understatement. Hijikata was furious, although that wasn't entirely obvious on his face, as Gintoki thought he looked quite lewd from such a minor action. 

"Hn! Nn! Haa, haa...Gintoki...t-touch me...elsewhere...". 

"Where...?" 

"Agh! Bastard...You're a bastard...Uwa...haa...". 

"What, here?" Gintoki brushed his hand to the area between Hijikata's legs. It was only a little bit hard, twitching in his hand with anticipation and impatience. Hijikata nodded, biting his bottom lip. "Okay, okay. I get it. Now, c'mere". 

Gintoki ceased his teasing, pulling Hijikata in for yet another kiss. With their lips parted, their tongues collided and tangled together within Hijikata's mouth. Warm and wet, Gintoki explored but didn't tease Hijikata. If he wanted it then Gintoki would easily- 

"Gin-chan, Shinpachi forgot his-...!" 

The atmosphere stopped dead. The front door...it opened. A casual voice came through-Kagura's-and then stopped dead. The kiss, stopped. The silence crashed down on the atmosphere like a ton of bricks as the shock and the unexpected circumstances quickly arose. Hijikata's gaze was affixed to the front door, shock clearly on his features. Gintoki, cursing to himself quietly, turned his head to look over his shoulder and tell Kagura off for not knocking. However, he froze as well, and his eyes widened. Yes, Kagura stood at the door, still and unmoving. And...next to her...was Shinpachi, still, unmoving, beyond shocked at the sight before him. Four separate hearts sank, no one saying a single word for several uncounted moments. What was there to say? How do you break the ice in such a sudden turn of events? The only thing needed...The only thing that could be done...was to provide an explanation. 

... 

Everyone sat quietly, still not saying a word since Gintoki had asked everyone to calm down and take a seat. Of course this was extremely awkward. Shinpachi had his head bowed down, his eyes affixed to the surface of the floor as no words came out of his mouth, nothing escaping his trembling lips. Kagura sat still, although already having knowledge of the situation, she sat still and silently for Shinpachi. Hijikata had his face buried in his hands, embarrassed and shaken up. He never thought that anyone, aside from Gintoki, would ever see him like that. That no one would ever see either of them like that. It was too late to take it back, time couldn't be undone. They were stuck. Gintoki kept his composure together, staring at the floor as he tried to find the right words. They couldn't be found easily. Not in this situation.

Gintoki decided to speak up, mustering the first words that came to mind through a haze of confusion and embarrassment. 

"Uh...Ahem, er...L-look, I suppose...you kids deserve an explanation. Or, more accurately, Shinpachi...needs an explanation". 

"...Just...me? What about Kagura?" Shinpachi looked at Kagura in question. She didn't shy away from his gaze, but it didn't mean that she didn't feel awkward. 

"I already kinda knew". She admitted. 

"Wha-...Knew what? What's going on?" 

"Y-yeah, Patsuan, I'm gettin' to that". Gintoki cleared his throat. He never expected to be in this situation, caught red-handed by two kids. "Ya see, Shinpachi...Uh, there's really no need to beat around the bush, so I'm just gonna spit it out to save the drama. Hijikata and I are...dating. Yeah, I know that may come as a shock to ya, especially after what you just witnessed but...". 

"And you knew, Kagura?" Shinpachi turned to Kagura again, his heart sinking further as he questioned her on the spot. 

"Hey, don't look at me. He's the one who decided to keep it from ya until now". 

Gintoki sighed, internally and sarcastically thanking Kagura for her contribution. 

"Shinpachi, we were gonna tell ya, but it isn't that easy. With Kagura, she sorta grew suspicious since Hijikata moved in and one day just asked about it". 

"So you decided not to tell me afterwards? Even if Kagura already knew? Did you think I'd react differently because I'm a little older and mature?" 

"It isn't like that. Kagura just asked, but it isn't something that we could just blurt out-not in our situation. Can't you understand that much?"

"...". Shinpachi didn't respond. He seemed angry about this, about everything. Or perhaps, to put it in better words, he was upset. Not neccessarily angry, but upset that he wasn't informed sooner. 

"Look, Shinpachi, I was thinking of telling you-No, I was gonna tell you at the right moment. What you saw just then, what you both saw, was probably the worst way for you to find out. And...Agh, it was stupid and I think we'd all prefer it if we start over". 

Gintoki placed his hand on Hijikata's shoulder, his response being to slowly raise his head from his hands and take a breath to relax himself. He sat up, looking at Gintoki who gave a nod. They both looked to Shinpachi and Kagura, who waited patiently for whatever they wanted to say. Gintoki also took a breath, swallowing his pride. 

"You guys, Hijikata and I have been going out for nearly two months. It's not as if we're just messing around-I'm sure you understand that-but we...we do...uh...". 

"We like eachother". Hijikata admitted, finishing what Gintoki started. "That sounds really hard to believe, considering that it's us, but it's the truth". Hijikata had also swallowed his pride for this, although it was slightly damaged from the previous scene. 

"You guys mean that, huh?" Shinpachi muttered, clutching his hands together as they trembled. He gulped down his nervousness, his stomach turning. "I...It's not as if I oppose the relationship or anything, and I can understand that it wouldn't be easy to just blurt that sort of thing out to anyone. But...I thought we were past this kinda stuff" 

"What's that supposed to mean?" 

"...". A sign of frustration appeared on Shinpachi's face, and he was quiet for several short seconds. "I thought, after all this time, you'd open up to us a little more-that you wouldn't keep stuff like this from us". 

"Shinpachi, it's not-". 

"Why the hell do you still hide stuff from us?" Shinpachi snapped at Gintoki, his tone surprisingly stern. "I don't understand that about you, Gin-san. You always keep things to yourself, bottle it up-and for what? Aren't we your friends? Don't you trust us?" 

"Shin-chan, oi, aren't you being a bit harsh? Gin-chan was just embarrassed, right? Uh, Shinpachi-?" Shinpachi suddenly stood, facing Gintoki with an irritated expression on his face. 

"If you have something like this going on in your life, can't you understand that me and Kagura would be happy for you? Yeah, it's a shock-but we want to be happy for you. Yet you harbour these things like it's none of our business!" 

"Shinpachi, cut it out. It's not that big of a deal!" Kagura stood, grabbing Shinpachi's wrist to pull him away. But to no avail... 

"Don't think I would hate you for being with Hijikata-san this way, because I don't. Sure, I used to think that these sort of relationships were weird-but this is the 21st century and I'm nearly an adult. Don't treat me like a kid!" 

"Shinpachi...!" Kagura called out, shaking Shinpachi slightly as if telling him to snap out of it. 

"Oi, Shimura, calm down". Then Hijikata spoke up. "Look, this really isn't that big of a deal. We told you, so why the hell are you getting so upset? Look, we're sorry that you had to find out this way, but there's no need to make a big fuss, is there? Right, Gintoki?...Gintoki?" 

Gintoki had his head lowered, not a word passing his lips. Not a sound, just silence. It was weird to see him so speechless. Usually with anyone's ranting and raving, Gintoki would come up with some sort of half-assed retort. But nothing. Nothing at all. The sikence went on for another second or two, right before the phone on the desk started to ring. Everyone was still, letting the sound echo in their ears. Gintoki was the one to stand up and get it, sighing as if to say "what a bother". He walked off, picking up the phone with his back turned to everyone. 

"Yeah...?" He answered, sounding like his aloof self. 

Behind the scenes, Kagura was ready to smack Shinpachi up-side the head. 

"Shinpachi, why the hell did you get so angry? What was that about? If you wanna make Gin-chan cry, break his Ketsuno Ana figure". 

"Kagura-chan, it's not like that. I-...". 

"Oi, Shinpachi". Gintoki called out, turning towards him, phone in hand. "It's your sister. She's wondering what's taking you so long, and wants you to hurry back". 

"...Tell her I'm heading home with Kagura right now". 

"Shinpachi...!" Kagura cried out in protest, seeing as this matter had not yet been resolved.

"Fine, I'll tell her. You kids had better be going then, and don't forget your notes this time". 

"W-wait, Gin-chan, we haven't-". 

"Come on, Kagura-chan. We can talk about all of this tomorrow". Shinpachi picked up his notebook from the coffee table, going on ahead with Kagura following behind him. She was unwilling at first, right until Gintoki gave a gesture that told her to just go. She lowered her head, following Shinpachi out the door. When the front door shut behind them, all was quiet within the apartment. Hijikata stood up, confronting Gintoki. 

"So are we just gonna leave it at that?" He asked, questioning and firm with his tone. 

"Of course not. We're gonna discuss it tomorrow, when things have cooled down. Don't know why he made such a big fuss over jack-shit". 

"It didn't really sound like nothing to me. Yeah, he made a fuss, but has he been harbouring these feelings for a while?" 

"How should I know? Just like me, the kid never tells me anything". 

"Gintoki, we do need to sort this out tomorrow. Hopefully he'll cool off by then and explain clearly why he acted that way. We can sort it all out". 

"I'm sure we will. Kid's quite sensitive, though. That mean's me and him are on totally different levels". 

"What do you mean by that?" 

"...It's nothing really. Let's just go to bed". 

"No, no, what do you mean by "on different levels"? C'mon Gintoki, talk to me". 

"Look, I'm not gonna get into it. Let's just forget about it and sleep on it". Gintoki walked past Hijikata, incedentally leaving himself vulnerable to have his wrist grabbed. 

"Hey! This is what he was talking about, isn't it? How you bottle everything up while wearing such a casual expression". 

"Ah, fuckin' hell, now you're making a fuss? Alright, fine, I'll tell ya. Shinpachi's a sensitive kid, someone who spills everything just as easily as crying, so he can't understand someone like me-who keeps stuff to himself 'cause there's some things I'd rather bottle up or explain later-when I'm ready. There, happy?" 

Hijikata hesitated, his fingers lingering around Gintoki's wrist although the grip loosened up. Soon enough, he let go slowly and retracted his hand. 

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean-". 

"No need to apologise. We can talk to him tomorrow and...y'know, do what it takes to get things back to normal, I suppose". 

"Right...".

"Now, come on. I'm pretty tired, and I know you are too". 

Gintoki went on ahead towards the bedroom without another word. Hijikata soon followed, trying to keep his mind in a better place. Shinpachi seemed so angry at Gintoki because he never shared anything. Yet Gintoki had spoken to Hijikata about particular topics that Gintoki had never shared before. Why? It probably wasn't because those two were brats and that they wouldn't understand. They were old enough to understand what pain and heart-break feels like. Perhaps Gintoki spoke of these thoughts to Hijikata because...well, perhaps he felt that Hijikata would understand a little better. It certainly brought them closer in the beginning. Those kids already adored Gintoki, holding their pasts behind them while they spoke of the present and future with smiles. Although speaking of the past brought Gintoki and Hijikata closer together than they were before, maybe holding back past stories wasn't such a bad thing for those kids. If Gintoki was suffering from a mental illness such as depression, then letting out such feelings was necessary. But the only thing wrong with his brain was an incurable case of stupidity and a childish attitude. Towards those kids, revealing the past all at once wasn't mandatory. He simply liked the way things were now, and felt no need to talk about his past in great detail. Hell, he didn't talk about his past in great detail anyway. Only the little things, mostly. 

... 

The two kids were at school the following morning, so Gintoki had no chance to speak with Shinpachi until later in the day. Walking past the police station, towards the publishing office, Gintoki felt a harsh slap on his back which sent him stumbling during his walk. It really caught him off guard, the action making his legs tremble from shock. But he gained his footing before he began to collpase, swiftly turning around to confront the culprit. Their hands must have been as big as an apes to be able to- 

"Hahaha! Good to see you, Gin-san! I've been looking for you". No, nevermind. It was an ape. A...a.. 

"Gorilla! A gorilla escaped from the zoo! Someone call the cops!" 

"There's one right here! Haa, honestly...". Kondo, what a surprise. Kind of. Upon seeing him, Gintoki had a good idea about what Kondo slapped him on the back for. "So, Toshi told me the strange but good news". 

"He did, did he? Already?" 

"Yep. Y'know, I was quite surprised-by several things actually. One, that you were the one who Toshi is dating. And that he looked quite bashful when telling me. I swear, I've never seen that look on his face since Mitsuba was around-god rest her soul. Anyway, I am kinda lost for words. But I'm glad that Toshi finally has someone to make him happy. Just kinda a shame that it's a bum like you". 

"Oi, you're one to talk you useless gorilla. I'll call animal control on you".

"This is the first time that Toshi has ever dated anyone, I'm sure. Never expected it to be you, of all people, seeing as you had such a bumpy relationship before". 

"It still is a bumpy relationship. It's not like we're all lovey-dovey or anything". 

"No, no, I didn't think that. Toshi doesn't show his emotions to just anyone. I think the most affectionate that he's been with me is...well, I'm not sure I should tell you. Maybe Sougo will if you ask". 

"I'll keep that in mind. Anyway, I've gotta go. See ya, Gorilla-san". 

"Eh, just call by my name, please". 

"Okay, Gorilla-gorilla-san". 

"That isn't my name! You just added an extra "gorilla", oi! Gin-san!" 

Gintoki walked off, sighing deeply as he left the gorilla behind. Gintoki had hisown business to attend to, after all.. So the gorilla knew now. Well, at least he took it well. Not to say that Shinpachi didn't take it well, he just...made a fuss. Kondo was seemingly happy for Hijikata, as you would expect from a friend. Besides, considering Kondo's nature, he would naturally pull a big grin, slap Hijikata on the bac and ranton about how happy he was for him-disregarding the fact that they were both male and had an act for displaying how "close" they were in the first place. So one could only imagine the shock and the silence to befall on someone like Shinpachi. The look someone has affixed to their face as they try to process and regsiter such unforseen information. Those two, Gintoki and Hijikata, were private people. So the reactions of a third party would be more unreadable and nerve-wracking as you await for their response. 

The way Shinpachi reacted, he must have such feeling in the past. He couldn't understand why Gintoki bottles everything up, and that irritated him-as if Gintoki was refusing to let him, or anyone else, in. Even with something as wonderful as a relationship, and Shinpachi thought he was left in the dark. Kid these days...Gintoki couldn't understand was pubescent brats were thinking these days. 

... 

["The Number You Have Dialed Is Either-"]. Gintoki hung up for the second time, clickint his tongue in annoyance. Around this time, Shinpachi would surely be home. Otse would be at work, but Shinpachi...Where could he have gone? Kagura had returned home, saying that Shinpachi went his own way straight after school. He apparently apologised for yelling the other day, and that he was just going to clear his head. Where could he have gone? Where? Gintoki found himself genuinely worrying about the kid. 

...

Hijikata left the police station that afternoon, his shift over and the overbearing exhaustion began as his mind was swept away elsewhere in thought. Why was work his best distraction? He wandered out, saying goodbye to several collegues, and receiving another pat to the back from Kondo. A nice gesture that put a faint smile on Hijikata's face. He had no regrets from informing Kondo of his relationship with Gintoki. It was a good decision. He only hoped that Sougo wouldn't hear of it until Hijikata felt ready. Knowing Sougo, he would use such information as blackmail. He stepped out of the main office and out into the street, prepared to turn the cover that led to his apartment when he stopped dead in his tracks, his heart jolting in surprise. Then, he let out a long sigh of relief and almost irritation. 

"What are you doing here?" He asked, finally composed after a short period of annoyance. "Shouldn't you be at home?...Oi, Spectacles?" 

Shinpachi. It was a surprise to see him at the station, standing alone against the wall as if waiting for someone. And at that thought alone, Hijikata got the notion that he was. 

"Ah, Hijikata-san, I was hoping to see you here. I would've contacted you, but I don't have any of your info, so...". Shinpachi had a faint smile. A polite smile. He didn't want to present a glum expression. He wasn't faking the smile either. Weird. "Uh, is it alright if we talk for a moment? I really need to ask you some questions". 

"...Haa...". Hijikata sighed once more, taking out a cigarette and lighting it up between his lips. He retracted it after the first drag, blowing out a small spiral of smoke. "Hooo...Okay. Lead the way, kiddo". 

"...Thanks. This shouldn't take too long". 

... 

At the park, of all places. They sat at one of the benches, shade pouring down on them. This wasn't exactly a private place, being a public park and all. But anyone visiting the park were usually too distracted in their own activities to care about anyone else's. Anyway, this scene wouldn't have looked abnormal to total strangers. Perhaps because those two were never alone together, it felt rather odd. However, due to the circumstances, they were probably going to see eachother more often. 

"So, what did ya wanna talk about?" Hijikata finally asked, crushing his cigarette into his empty pack. "I have a strong feeling, but you know how it is...". 

"Yeah. Uh...first of all, I didn't mean to yell and get angry. I know I'll have to apologise to Gin-san later. Secondly, I, er...". Shinpachi was lost for words, as if he had forgotten what he came to say. However, the kid had taken a moment to collect his thoughts and clear his throat. "I wanted to talk to someone about this relationship-and I know it makes more sense to ask Gin-san but, I'm kinda embarrassed". 

"Embarrassed? Kid, I'm the one who's embarrassed. I never wanted anyone to see us that way. It was-...It was really dumb and I think I speak for the both of us when I say, "I'm sorry you had to find out that way". Anyway, how come you're embarrassed?" 

"I...It's hard to explain. I suppose I'm not used to asking these kinds of questions-I've never known anyone to be in a same-sex relationship. And for it to be Gin-san...I just...I find it hard to talk to him straight and ask these questions". 

"So you came to me?" 

"Please don't get the wrong idea. This still feels awkward, but it somehow feels easier. I'm so close to Gin-san and I've always seen him as a guy who has never been in a serious relationship before. He's someone I've kinda looked up to-no matter how lazy or dumb he can be at times. He's like...Like...". 

Like a big brother to him. Yeah, Hijikata caught onto that fact a while back. Hijikata thought over it. Shinpachi saw Gintoki as a big brother figure, a man who has had experience with women and intimacy. In a way, it's partly the reason why Shinpachi seeks advice in him. Seeing Shinpachi, a kid who has little to no experience with the opposite sex, would try to find guidance and support in Gintoki. But finding out that he was in a same-sex relationship, a deep relationship to boot, he feels hesitant on receiving any guidance from that. That was Hijikata's theory anyway. Shinpachi was still a teenager, still learning different things and finding new experiences. So of course he would be stunned, and maybe even a little confused, about the situation. Seeing such a dramatic change in someone he's known for so long, of course he would feel a bit lost. But...what about the things he mentioned during his rant? Wasn't that worth bringing up? 

"Hey, Shimura, yesterday you mentioned a lot about how Gintoki keeps things to himself and never talk to you or the China Girl about certain topics. Do you wanna enlighten me on that?" 

"I...regret getting angry about something that seems so dumb now. But...". 

"Have you had those feelings for a while?" 

"Here and there. I feel like Gin-san doesn't talk much about himself. He just floats along like a bubble, leaving behind so much. The most that I know is that Gin-san doesn't know anything about his parents. He never talks about his childhood, past lovers-even when he bring it up in conversation. Kagura-chan and myself have talked a lot about when we were kids, moreso the good times rather than the bad. And Gintoki doesn't tell us a thing, as if all his childhood was bad. I make it sound like I wanna pry into his business, but that's not the case. I just...I, well, I want him to open up a bit more, seeing as he's kinda become a big part of our...family, I guess. I want him to feel like a part of it. Is that wrong?" 

Hijikata patted Shinpachi's shoulder, the best comfort he could provide. The smell of cigarettes wafted in Shinpachi's general direction. He cleared his throat subtly, the unpleasant smell ooenly bothering him. 

"Listen kid, it's not wrong at all. But, with a guy like Gintoki, you have to give these things time". 

"How do you know?" 

"...". 

("...he can't understand someone like me-who keeps stuff to himself 'cause there's some things I'd rather bottle up or explain later-when I'm ready"). Hijikata blinked as that thought passed through his mind in an echo. 

"I just know". He mumbled, looking straight a head with a solemn expression. Hijikata, of all people, understood Gintoki's feelings. He did. He simply didn't say it out loud. "I'm sure, after this, he'll be a lot more confident with you guys. In terms of our relationship, you can just ask him or myself and we'll answer your questions to the best of our ability. He's probably just embarrassed, you know. Do-don't tell him I said that. He'll kill me". 

"Hah...Thanks, Hijikata-san". Shinpachi smiled, receiving a light ruffle to his hair. 

"No problem, kiddo. As I said, give Gintoki some time. And don't he scared to ask him these things. No matter what, he's still the same old lazy, dumb, natural perm-head that you admire so. Nothing's changed just because he's dating a man". 

"Right, of course. Uh, hey, Hijikata-san, there's still something I have to ask that I'm curious about". 

"Shoot. Go for it, I don't mind". 

"Are you, er...Are you and Gin-san, like...i-in love?" 

"Ack!...Urp...Uh...Uhhh...". Hijikata panicked, suddenly minding such a question. "W-well, ya see...Err...Urm...W-we're not...like, i-in lo-love or anything shit like that. We did say before that we "like" eachother. There's a huge difference-a gigantic difference-colossal, even. You know, we-". 

"I get it, Hijikata-san. Sorry, that question must've surprised you quite a bit". 

"No! No, no. It's only natural...Rest assured, we're not like that. It's literally just liking not lo-...the other thing...". 

Hijikata was absolutely flustered, althugh he held back a blush. His eyes showed panic, his stammers amusing to Shinpachi. He felt kinda bad for asking such a question, but now he wasn't the embarrassed one for bringing it up. Hijikata was more embarrassed for dragging it out. 

"Hijikata-san, is it alright if I come with you to the apartment buildint? I really need to see Gin-san as soon as possible and apologise". 

"Y-yeah, sure. Of course. We'd better get moving then. Wanna call him in advance?" 

"Why don't you do it? I've gotta be more prepared than I was just then". 

"Yeah, no problem. He might not admit it, but I'm sure he's worried about you". 

Hijikata speed-dialed Gintoki's home number, to tell him that they were coming over. Shinpachi wasn't able to get another word in, but he didn't mind. Enough had been said for now. He had to come up with an appropriate apology for Gintoki, for the time being. 

...

Unannounced, and with a brief pause, Hijikata opened the door to Gintoki's apartment. It was unlocked, as he was informed over the phone. There were no surprises here, just a short period of awkward silence when all occupants within the main room met gazes. Kagura sat on the edge of a single armchair, her feet propped up on the seat-but you could hardly see her position as being relaxed. Gintoki sat up from his sprawled out position on the sofa, hooking his arm over the back of the sofa. He had an aloof expression. Actually, it was almost aloof, partially serious. Shinpachi looked up to Hijikata, who made a simple gesture that silently told Shinpachi to "go on. Do your thing". At least, that was the impression given when Hijikata gave a very brief tilt of his head towards Gintoki. Shinpachi didn't respond, he simply walked over towards Gintoki with a heavy heart and an apology on the tip of his tongue. 

It seemed wrong, somehow, to just allow Shinpachi to apologise as if he were to take all the blame for this mess. It didn't feel right. So, before Shinpachi could utter a word, Hijikata decided to speak up. 

"Ah-...". 

"There's no need to apologise, y'know". But he didn't. Even Hijikata didn't utter a word, and Shinpachi was left astonished. To get right to the point, Gintoki was the one to step in and speak his mind. "I don't blame you for being even a little angry with me. I never talk to you guys about anything, and...Haa, I don't see myself as a role model of any sort, but if you guys think of me like that in any way, then I suppose it's my job to guide you through mentioning personal experience and such. So, in the end, what I'm trying to say is, Shinpachi, Kagura...I...I'm...I'm so-...Haa...I'm so-...o-...S-...Uwaaaaah! Hijikata-kun, I tried!" 

Gintoki suddenly slumped over the back of the sofa, hopeless as per usual... 

"I tried! I really tried! But the words won't come ouuuut!" 

"Then try harder you idiot!" Hijikata yelled, ready to knock Gintoki out, his fist balled up and ready as he shook it furiously. He sighed deeply. "What he means is that he's sorry-we both are. And...we both hope that you'll come to see whatever this is as being a part of normality. How's that?" 

"Yeah, what he said". Gintoki added, provoking yet another sigh from Hijikata. 

"So, you guys are gonna be more open about your relationship from now on, aru?" Kagura asked, pushing herself back against the armchair in a more relaxed state. 

"Define "open", will ya?" Gintoki enquired, narrowing his eyes at Kagura in suspicion. 

""Ya know, like, kissin' and stuff". 

"If you don't want us to, it's a definite no". 

"Then Shinpachi and I would like to request that you refrain from showing you're...puppy love in front of us. It's gross and traumatising". 

"Kagura-chan, I don't think you're using the term "puppy love" correctly, and...it won't hurt if they show affection for eachother". 

"I guess not. Still icky, though, aru". 

"Whoah, whoah, whoah, hold up". Gintoki stopped the two kids in their conversation, looking puzzled and maybe even a little disturbed. "Quit yappin' on about us as if we're some other couple. Guys, it's still us, remember?" 

"Y-yeah, Gintoki is right. I mean, it's not as if we're...Uh...Shit, some generic couple. Yeah, we l-like eachother but...". 

"Ohoho, look at the Mayora get all flustered over his boyfriend~". Kagura snickered, an unnatural grin curving onto her lips. 

"D-don't use that word!" But Hijikata quickly protested, although seemingly more flustered. 

"Gin-chan and May-ora, sitt-in'-in-a-tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g!" 

"Will you cut it out?!" 

"Haha, Kagura, give the guy a break". This seemed awfully amusing to Gintoki, even if he was involved. 

"Why? He's your boyfriend".

"Didn't Hijikata just tell you not to use that word?!" Now Gintoki was flustered! 

Shinpachi stood back, quiet as he watched it all. They were quarrelling, sure. They all had irritated expressions, sure. But...it looked so normal, somehow. Like it fit perfectly, in a good way. An almost proud and content feeling stirred within, a smile on his face. Was this...was this family? Right here? Add more people, that they all knew of, and you had a full, disfunctional picture. That wasn't so bad... 

"Oi, four-eyes! Help me out here! You're secretly gay, aren't you?" 

"Uwah! Don't call me four-eyes! And, more importantly, I'm not gay! What gave you that idea?!" 

"Really, Patsuan? I thought you were, hiding behind that idol of yours. Guess you can't really tell anymore, huh?" 

"You're one to talk, Gin-san! Hijikata-san, you can back me up here, right?" 

"Er..., to be honest, I actually thought...". 

"Whhhyyy?! What gives you all that impression?! Aaagh! Why is it always me?!" 

"Cause you're Patsuan". 

"Yep, Pachie Boy". 

"Uh-huh...". 

"That had no revelance to my sexuality, you morons!" 

Yep, just another disfunctional, idiotic, but happy...family. None of them would have it any other way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uwaaaaah...I did it. What did you all think? Did I do good? I thought this was okay. I think I did okay. Phew. Well, hopefully this was enjoyable and not crappy. I did my best, that's all fanfiction writers can do. Thank you all very much for your continued support. This one came out a day early. Yay! Progress! Dunno if this will happen next time, but all we can do is wait and see. Have a good day everyone, or evening depending on time zones. You're all fantastic, pure joy in my fanfiction-writing life, or hobby.
> 
> See you in the next one. Bye-bye...


	15. Most Mother's Are The Same, But Not For Everyone.

May. It was May. The days gradually traversing into warmer conditions, the dull skies becoming brighter with each passing week. During this time, despite the brightening weather and the excitement for summer, there were a few in this area of Tokyo who failed to feel any excitement or longing for the upcoming days. Or, more accurately, a particular day. For many, it was a time of happiness and even generosity to possibly the most important person in ones life, at least for the most part. But on this day, to many particular people, it wasn't something to smile about. It wasn't even a time when they would shed tears. It was more...solemn. 

The sky had finally dimmed within the city. It was quiet, finally. This place, this area in particular, a small ghetto where only a few choose to tread, was quiet. The only noises that came from this place was the echo of a stray dog barking behind a rusted fence, left behind on a leash to bark at whatever passed by. Footsteps walked over remains of broken glass, the cracking and the crunching startling this hound. The footsteps came to a halt, this person smiling as their eyes looked to this mutt wasting its breath. 

"Hm...". 

Looking up at the sky, this person finally...lowered their umbrella and crouched by this dog, protected by the rested fence and the leash which kept the dog grounded. 

"I know how you feel, you know". He said, tilting his head as if studying this animals reactions. "I would put you out of your misery, but I'm not at liberty to do so, sorry". 

The dog calmed down, seeing as this person was of no threat. It stepped back, curling up into a ball on the ground as if exhausted. 

"I suppose you don't have a name. Or perhaps you've forgotten? Well, I'm Kamui. It's very nice to meet you". He grinned. 

It was an odd thing to suddenly start speaking to a dog, which clearly wasn't paying much attention to him. But Kamui had a thought in his head, one that he felt was quite amusing. But this thought only entered his head when a second presence joined him in this deserted area. 

"What's this? Is the little rabbit playing with dogs now?" The second presence... 

"Ah, Abuto, I was wondering when you'd keep up. You're so slow". Kamui looked over his shoulder, still smiling almost unnaturally. His, lets say, comrade, Abuto chose to finally join him as he turned the corner. "And anyway, I'm not playing with the dog. I just find it to be better company than you". 

"Did you come up with that one just now?" 

"...Yes". 

"Haah...You're so childish".

Kamui stood to his feet, walking over to Abuto's side. He rested the base of his umbrella on his shoulder, receiving an odd look from Abuto. It was still odd to see that kid wander around with an umbrella, even if it wasn't raining. 

"Say, Abuto, could you do me a favour tomorrow?" 

"What is it this time? Do we have another job to do?" 

"No, nothing like that". Abuto followed Kamui down the narrow path as he continued to walk on, as if paying Abuto no mind despite speaking to him directly. "I just wanted you to look after things tomorrow". 

"Why? Going somewhere?" 

"Uh-huh...". 

"Well, where?" 

"Hmm...Nope, not telling. It's none of your business". 

"...". 

It was normal for Kamui to be vague or conspicious. However, once Kamui said that it was none of Abuto's business, it didn't take long for it to click. He realised where Kamui was planning to go, considering the date tomorrow. But Abuto kept quiet about it. He didn't say another word on the matter. He just kept walking by Kamui's side. If Kamui didn't tell him, he wouldn't have told anyone where he was off to. It was Kamui's business, something he had to do alone. Abuto trusted that he wouldn't he wouldn't get himself into trouble, which wasn't always the case. He knew Kamui wasn't getting himself into trouble...for once. 

"Hey, Abuto, I'm starving. Let's get some ramen or something. Your treat". 

"Don't just decide that on your own! And you literally just ate, you shit! Give my wallet a rest for once!" 

"C'mon~. I'll pay ya back tomorrow". 

"Haah...You say that, but you never pay me back". 

"Yaay~, ramen~". 

"When did I agree to paying for it?!" 

... 

Elsewhere, within Gintoki's apartment, Kagura had been quiet for most of the day. A few had noticed this during their half-day of school; her friends, teachers, and even Shinpachi at one point. Her mind was in different places, which wasn't unusual, but today she was more distant and quiet. She couldn't quite describe it herself. On that Saturday evening, she sat in the living room with Shinpachi at her side while they watched recorded drama shows. Every now and then, Shinpachi glanced towards Kagura, thinking that she was unfocused and didn't pay attention to the screen. This was one of her favourite shows, too. He was concerned, but had already asked about her well-being earlier and he feared that she would give the same answer with a faint smile. He sighed, wanting to strike up some sort of conversation that would distract her. 

"Hey, er...". He began, clearing his throat. "I-I wonder when those two are gonna get back? It's getting kinda late, huh, Kagura?" 

"Hm...?" That caught her attention, and she nodded. "Yeah, I guess. Maybe they went to a hotel or somethin', weirdos". 

"Uh, Kagura-chan, maybe you shouldn't assume the worst". 

"They would, though, wouldn't they? I mean, they need their privacy and we both know that adults are super filthy, so...". 

"Yeah, but Gin-san did say he would be coming back tonight. I just hope he's not drunk or anything. If so, I feel bad for Hijikata-san". 

"Unless their both drunk, aru". Kagura picked at her nose, seemingly distracted from her distant thoughts. 

Shinpachi smiled. He should have known. Whenever it's got to do with Gintoki and Hijikata's relationship, she pulls that disgusted expression or thinks the worst when their out on a date. In other words, it was effective in taking her mind off things. Despite her outward attitude, she really did support their relationship in the end. She just refrained from admitting it, most of the time. As the conversation died down, they could faintly hear activity from outside, in the hallway. Curious, Kagura hopped over the couch-in a way that made it seem as if she had been on the track team her whole life-and crept over towards tye front door. She pressed her ear against the surface of the wood, her eyes sparkling before gesturing to Shinpachi to come over. He sighed, taking his sweet time to approuch and crouch down to Kagura's level. He listened intently, narrowing his eyes as he too hears the activity outside. And it didn't take too long for him to realise why Kagura had that sparkle in her eyes. This girl was so confusing sometimes. Anyway, from the voices, they both had registered that it was Gintoki and Hijikata on the other side of the door. 

On the other side of the door, Gintoki and Hijikata were conversing. They were talking about a subject that had perhaps gone on for a while. 

"Look, Gintoki, it doesn't matter if that girl was staring. No one's interested". 

"Yeah, yeah, I know that. But who the fuck did she think she was, eyeing my territory? I swear, if she took one step towards-". 

"Gintoki, let it go already". 

"I will not. I refuse. I swear to god the next time some girl tries to buy the last cake in the glass case, I'll fuckin' tell her who that cake belongs to. That restaurant needs to start setting up reservations or somthing". 

Hijikata rolled his eyes, letting the topic pass by at that as he took out his apartment key. 

"You still heading into your place tonight?" He asked, looking to Gintoki for an answer. 

"Yeah...". Gintoki responded, scratching the back of his head. "I kinda need to be there tomorrow. Kagura and I have a place to be". 

"Is that so? Just as well, I won't be seeing you tomorrow anyway". 

"Why? Is there something you've gotta do?" 

"Uh, yeah, you could say that. But, hey, I can call you later in the evening, if you want". 

"Sure, sure. Or, maybe I can come over late at night? When the kids are asleep?" 

"...I'll think about it". 

"Awh, don't be a tease. It's been a while". 

"I know, and I'm sorry about that. I've been really busy, and I know you're just as busy with the new novel and such. We'll see eachother soon, okay? And we can...do whatever, alright?" 

"Whatever? I'll take ya up on that. In fact, gimme a written contract saying those exact words so you can't take it back later". 

"No way, that's way too conspicious! Anyway...I'll, er, talk to you soon". 

"Yeah, see ya, Mr Policeman. Gonna gimme a kiss?" 

Hijikata's chest tightened at those shameless words and his cheeks warmed up, but he complied without arguing. It was just a kiss, after all. He approuched, cupping Gintoki's cheek right before he leaned in. It was obvious that Gintoki was a little more eager, but he refrained from pouncing and startling Hijikata. Their lips brushed together a little, ticklish, their hearts skipping a beat at the sensitive sensation. It was a simple peck that passed off as a goodnight kiss, but their eyes met quite affectionately in the moment. Gintoki was smirking, lacing his fingers over Hijikata's hand, which was still cupping his cheek. 

"Well...Goodnight, Hijikata". He muttered, retracting himself away a little. 

"Yeah...Goodnight". 

They let go of eachother's hands, without much hesitance, and left eachother to enter their own apartments. Hijikata unlocked his door and entered at the same time as Gintoki simply opened his, knowing that two brats were waiting for him inside. However, they were a lot closer than he thought. 

"Gah! Owwwwwww~!"

There was a bang, impact, a long groan of pain and then a thud. Gintoki peered through the gap of the door and clicked his tongue. Kagura was eavesdropping a little too closely as her curiosity had led to a bump on her delicate head. Shinpachi had backed away, not being the victim of such shenanigans for once. Kagura was currently curled up on the floor, trembling and moaning in pain as she grasped her sore head. Gintoki, in all honesty, felt no remorse for accidentally hitting her on the head. 

"Oi, the hell are you brats doing, eavesdropping? Wanna get grounded for being nosy little brats?" 

"No fair!" Kagura cried, looking up at Gintoki with tear-filled eyes-due to the pain of course. "I'm fourteen already-I'm too old to get grounded!" 

"Says who?" 

"Er, Kagura-chan, I don't think that's the point. Uh, sorry, Gin-san. We were just kinda curious since Kagura could hear you guys coming up the stairs". 

Gintoki sighed, running his fingers through his hair. 

"Honestly...you kids need to at least mind a little bit of your own business. Just because you're both aware of our...situation, that doesn't give you permission to sniff around us. Got that?" 

"But Gin-chan...!" Kagura protested, sitting back up. "We're just looking out for you, to make sure that nicotine guy is treating you right. And, err...b-by that good-bye, he seems to be. Although I'm starting to question you and your perverted mind". 

"Eh-Per-...I have no idea what you mean! Don't just throw around words like that! I'm hurt, Kagura...Hurt!" 

"Oh yeah? "Ohh, Hijikata-chan~, won't you gimme a kiss, aru?" Sounds pretty perverted to me". Kagura narrowed her eyes in suspicion, glaring directly at Gintoki. 

"...!" Gintoki was a little caught of guard, but upon crossing his arms and turning his attention elsewhere-namely the corner of the room-he gave an aloof response. "So what?" He muttered. "We're adults, in an adult relationship. I wouldn't expect you to understand, kiddo". 

"He is right, Kagura-chan". Shinpachi agreed, scratching his cheek awkwardly when acknowledging the topic at hand. The fact that they were discussing Gintoki being in a romantic relationship-of any sort-still felt a little strange and even made Shinpadhi feel coy about the words coming out of his mouth. Truely unbelievable, but remarkable at the same time. "They are both adults, in an adult relationship, so it's only natural that they show those signs of...intimacy". 

"See, Kagura? Even Patsuan, a guy with zero experience, understands. Don't I always say that the people who have no experience with something can also be the people to understand it the most? Or maybe it's because this guy watches a lot of romance animes". 

"Oi! I could have experience for all you know!" Shinpachi argued, although his bluff was as clear as day. "And I don't really watch anime! I like 3D! 3D!! There's a difference!" 

"Yeah, yeah, Patsuan, I get it. Don't get your underwear all twisted. Haa, anyway, shouldn't you kids be in bed? It's late". 

Gintoki said "kids" because, as a matter of fact, Shinpachi was planning to stay over for the night before heading straight back home to his sister's. Just for that one night. They each had already slipped on, what they claimed to be, their pajamas so they were both more than ready to go to bed and call it a night. 

"Go on, up ya get. Go to bed". 

The two stood up from the floor, heading to Kagura's room with a groan of disappointment, their heads hung low. Gintoki shook his head to himself, silent, before heading to his own bedroom. He was pretty tired too, needed a good nights sleep. As he said before, he and Kagura had somewhere to be the following day-most likely to take place during the afternoon. It was a special day, for most. A solemn day, for some. For Gintoki, it meant nothing. He had no reason to celebrate or be solemn. Of course, without memory or sentiment, there was no need to feel those things. If he really thought about it, then maybe his heart would feel heavy with sorrow and longing. However, at his age, he had come to accept the fact that there was no pont. That day, the following day...was Mother's Day. 

... 

During the early hours of the morning, on this day, Seita had gone out to run a few errands for Hinowa right after serving his best attempt of a breakfast in bed. Of course, Tsukuyo helped with the smaller tasks, but overall it was Seita's best effort that put a smile on Hinowa's face. Counting his allowance, which had been saved up for months, Seita looked around town to find something Hinowa would like, something to surprise her. Of course, he volunteered to pick up a few items for groceries, but he made the decision to buy something nice for his Mother as well. It was a little known fact that Hinowa wasn't Seita's biological Mother. But, due to particular circumstances, he decided to call her "Mother". She was special to him, and vise versa. Of course, their little family wasn't complete without Tsukuyo. After all, she was like a big sister to Seita. Oh, and not to mention...

"Ah! Big Bro!" A big smile crossed Seita's face as he spotted his said "Big Brother". To him, that big brother was Gintoki. 

Gintoki paused, turning his head and spotting Seita approuch him. Not long after the kid caught his eye, Seita swiftly wrapped his arms around Gintoki. This seemed to be a common greeting between them. 

Hey there, kiddo. Y'know, you're gonna have to comd up with another greeting eventually. You still gonna do this when you're a grown-up?" 

"Haha, I guess not. Sorry". 

"Nah, don't apologise". Gintoki ruffled Seita's hair as he spoke. "Be a kid while it lasts, got it? Even if squeezing the life outta me is involved".

"Y-yeah, sure thing, Big Bro. So, er, whatcha up to?" 

"Runnin' errands. You?" 

"Same here". 

Gintoki smiled, gesturing that they walk on, side by side. 

"That so? Helping your Mom out? Hm, I always thought you were a good kid. Gettin'anything special for her today?" 

"Uh, I was gonna. But...I don't really know what to get for her...". 

Gintoki could only smile at how kind this kid was. He certainly wasn't taking his life and the people around him for granted. Most kids, that Gintoki had seen, were spoiled brats that got what they asked for without giving anything in return. At least, he saw that case more times in his adulthood than when he was a kid. In fact, he met plenty of kids like Seita when he was roughly the same age. Not like he saw himself in a kid like Seita or anything, he had just become familiar with similar children. He...He knew he had always been different, and he didn't give two shits. That was fact. 

"Ya know, I'm sure you're gonna grow up into an honest young man. Keep that up, and I'm sure you'll find a nice young lady juet like your Mom". 

"E-eh? B-Big Bro...I don't think-". 

"Don't argue. It's a fact that men naturally try to find a woman just like their Mom. It's the same with women, who try to find men who are just like their Father's...or simliar at least. You may not realise it, but that's because it's instinct". 

"Huh...I see. If that's the case, I might try to find someone who isn't like my Mom. Since you told me that, it'd feel kinda weird...". 

"If you do that, you'll never find happiness in romance, kiddo. It's either a woman like your Mom or...a man". 

"E-ehhh?! N-no way, Big Bro! I like girls! Girls! Wh-why would a man make me happy?!" Seita was quite flustered, protesting and wasting his breath. Oh, yeah. He was bright, but something like same-sex relationships was still a little higher than his level of comprehension, especially since he did indeed like girls. 

"Ah, well...I-I read somewhere that a lot of men are happier with other men because...er, guys just naturally understand other guys?" 

"This wasn't in Jump? If not, that's weird for you, right, Big Bro?" 

"Oi, what's that supposed to mean? Of course I read other stuff, dumbass. I just read Jump more often than ordinary books". 

"Ohh...okay".

Gintoki let out a sigh, internally wishing to drop the subject like a ton of bricks. It was better left that way. 

"Anyway, why not get your Mom chocolates or something?" 

"I would, but she said shhe wants to watch her weight". 

"Pfft...What weight? Isn't your Mom pretty slim?" 

"That's what I said. N-not to her face, of course. I just told her that she's pretty anyway and doesn't need to watch her weight. Uh, anyhow, any other ideas? H-how about flowers?" 

"That's depressing. Flowers that are picked from their roots die within a few days, you can't keep 'em. Unless, you buy a potted plant and keep it on your balcony". 

"Not bad, Big Bro. But, since when are you a green thumb?" 

"I-I'm not, really. I just, uh...had a school lesson about keeping pants when I was about your age. It was kinda boring, but that doesn't mean I didn't pay attention". 

"How does that work? I mean, if you were bored, wouldn't you just sleep through the class?" 

"I would have, but my...my teacher often told me not to half-ass things. It's a lesson that I live by when I can. Otherwise I'm just lazy", 

"Hm...I see. Oh, uh, Big Bro...". Seita stopped in the middle of the street, catching Gintoki's attention. Gintoki looked over his shoulder, seeing Seita point to a flower shop. "I'm gonna go buy a flower pot for Mom. It was really great talking to you again. We still have to arrange for another video game session". 

"Sure, sure. Okay, see ya when I see ya, kid. Oh, and don't let your Mom's smile break. Today, you're not allowed to do that. Make sure to give her a good day". 

"I will. Thanks, Big Bro". 

Gintoki walked off, waving goodbye to Seita before turning back to face the path ahead. Honestly, he didn't know whether to be happy for him or be envious of the kid. Knowing Seita, Gintoki could only he happy for him. The kid had a good life, despite the kid's dreadful past. Not only his, but Hinowa and Tsukuyo's past's as well. With such broken pieces, it only made sense to put them together and make sure they're stuck like glue. They fit together, a family. Gintoki held back his bottom lip. He was happy for the kid, so he wished to leave it at that. Any other thoughts afterwards were to be swiftly disgarded from his mind. He took a breath, continuing to walk on with a blank state of mind. Nothing more. 

... 

Upon returning to the apartment, convenience store bag in hand, Gintoki immediatly spotted Kagura sitting at the front entrance. She was slipping on her shoes, looking up at Gintoki as he entered. Her expression conveyed that she had been waiting for him for a long time. Since she was currently tieing her shoes at the front entrance, it seemed clear that she couldn't wait for him anymore. 

"What took you so long?" Kagura huffed, puffing out her cheeks a little in a sulk. 

"I got caught up in a conversation, get off my back, will ya? Anyway, you're the one who told me to pick up some sukonbu and a juice. Passion fruit, right?" 

"Yup. Now gimme". Kagura outstretched her arms, curling her fingers as she reafhed out for something that wasn't right in front of her. 

"Not until we get on the train. It's gonna be a three-hour trip, and we both need to keep our minds occupied". 

"Mn...Whatever, now can we go?" 

"Yeah, yeah, let's get goin'. You ready?" 

"Uh-huh. Let's go". 

"Uh, n-no, kiddo. Are you...ready? You know...". 

Kagura's expression didn't falter. She looked perfectly content and determined to go through with this little trip. She gave a nod, saying nothing. Gintoki trusted that, so there was no reason to hesitate any further. He opened the front door once again. Kagura took the lead, heading out before Gintoki. The door was swiftly shut behind them, and then locked. Silence, both inside the empty apartment and between the two who walked side by side down the building's steps. 

...

... 

They had boarded a train, making small talk here and there about varies things. It felt a little awkward to avoid a partifular topic. However, Gintoki felt that Kagura would bring it up whenever she felt ready to, if she wanted to talk in the first place. Gintoki reached into the convenience store bag, taking out the juice and sukonbu for Kagura. 

"Hey, the train's about to take off so...here ya go". 

"Ah, thanks, Gin-chan". 

Kagura took the items, immediatly pierding the straw that came with the juice into its carton. She stared out the window while taking a brief sip, the train beginning to move, silence once again passing between the two. Gintoki, curious, looked to Kagura's expression. It hadn't changed since they left the apartment. She was collected and measured, not saying a word. It was a change, that's all he could say about it. But her silence wasn't necessarliy a good thing. Not today, at least. Besides, Kagura was lost in thought at this point. Her mind was so focused on the same topic, the same memories, that she didn't consider talking about it as an option. It was at the back of her mind, yet no words came out of her mouth. Thus, no reassuring words from her guardian could pass by either. It was almost as if she was slowly forgetting Gintoki's presence, but she held onto the fact that she was boarding this train because of him, and because she needed a little push to get on this particular train. This train....heading right back to where she started. A place that had soke meaning in her life. Although it was no longer home, the memories that said again and again that i used to be that kind offplace swirled around and around in her mind and didn't cease. She would have gotten a headache if there wasn't a contrast of both sad memories and nostalgia. Kagura took a deep breath, the automated voice from the train's speakers announcing each stop and lastly announcing the destination next to that. It went on and on, right up until it was announced that Kyoto was the next stop... 

... 

Gintoki and Kagura finally got off onto the platform after that three-hour-long trip. Gintoki stretched out, yawning. He scratched the back of his head as they both began to walk. It was about time they had some sort of conversation by now, otherwise the silence would make them seem like complete strangers walking randomly side by side. Gintoki would have to be the one to provoke some kind of conversation. 

"So, er, ya know where we're going?" He asked. 

"I think so. It's been a few years, but I don't doubt my memory. I know where we're going". 

"Okay, you sound pretty confident. I'll have to trust your memory too, I suppose". 

Kagura, all of a sudden, opened her umbrella and hung the shade above her head. She had been carrying it, but Gintoki never thought that she would open it up when it wasn't raining. 

"Oi, how come you're opening your umbrella now? It's not raining or anything. It's not even that cloudy". 

"...It...I just like having it open. It's a nice umbrella". 

"...It is. Who, uh...Who gave it to you?" 

"...My...Mami gave it to me. One day, while me and my big brother were leaving the house to get groceries she just gave us this big umbrella and said "don't forget your umbrella". When Kamui started leaving every now and then, she gave me my own umbrella and told me "don't forget your umbrella either, sweetheart". I've never forgotten it ever since, no matter what the weather looks like". 

Gintoki nodded, although Kagura's eyes were staring at the path ahead. He could only understand that the umbrella had sentimental value, but he couldn't empathise when it came to physical objects. He had no sentimental objects. The only one he had, he spilled curry on it and threw it out. For Gintoki, sentiment lay in memories and the life lessons from his past alone. He looked to Kagura, seeing her grip on the umbrellas handle was tight. Although there was no wind, she kept a tight hold so that her memory wouldn't drift away. Gintoki looked around the area in which they walked, keeping himself partially distracted as he didn't know where to go. It was all up to Kagura. In doing so, looking around, he spotted another small flower shop with signs that clearly read that any chosen bouquet was going on sale for Mother's Day. Gintoki knew their destination, he just didn't know the path. It couldn't hurt, could it? 

"Hey, Kagura, want to buy some flowers for...her?" Gintoki stopped first, and then, at those words, Kagura stopped too. 

One look towards that flower shop and Kagura felt some sort of ease from that suggestion. She thought that...Well, she thought... 

"That's not a bad idea. I'm sure...Mami will love them. Okay, let's go, Gin-chan". Kagura took a firm hold of Gintoki's wrist, leading him over to the small shop. 

Gintoki didn't resist, he simply followed with a smile drifting on his lips. She seemed to have more energy now, but there was no guarantee that such energy would last. When reaching the small store, Kagura and Gintoki entered the shade and the humidity, a thick smell of pollen and fresh flowers wafting in the air. The man behind the counter smiled and greeted them, welcoming Gintoki and Kagura into the shop-which, Gintoki had a feeling was not his and that this kid was just watching over it for the owner. Kagura looked around, thoroughly examining the varies flowers around this little store. 

"What can I do for you both?" The shop-keeper asked, cheerful and as bright as the colourful flowers that filled the entire room. "Are you looking for a particular bouquet?" 

"Uh, it's up to her". Gintoki replied for Kagura, as she clearly wasn't paying attention. 

"I see. Well, take your time and come ask me if you find a-". 

"Orchids...". Kagura interupted, finally looking at the shop-keeper. "Do you have any...orchids?" 

"Um, why, yes. We do. Would you like a bouquet or...?" 

"Do you have any growing in pots?" 

"In...pots? Are you sure you don't want a bouquet? I could even tie it in a ribbon for you and...". 

"Hey, come on, pal. If she wants a potted plant, then that's what she wants. No use arguing with a little girl, I've tried. You give in eventually, so you might as well save us both the energy and see if there are any orchids growing from pots. If ya don't mind?" Kagura was surprised by Gintoki's calm and rather aloof argument. 

"Well, alright. Wait one second and I'll see if we have anything". 

The man didappeared behind the counter and then into the back room. From a brief glance, right before the door closed, walls of glass could be seen at the far end of the room as well as displays of flowers and other plants. Kagura stared at Gintoki, lost for words. 

"Don't mention it...". He said, even without a thank you from Kagura. He understood that she was grateful, he just didn't waste the energy to wait for a simple thanks. There was no need to hear it. 

The man soon returned to the front room, potted plant in his hands. Despite a bouquet with lots and lots of flowers, this tiny potted plants grew only a few orchids that were firmly buried in the soil that it came with. 

"Here you are, grown from its roots. Is there anything else?" 

"Kagura...?" Kagura shook her head, pleased with this small little plant. "Alright then, how much?" 

"800 yen, sir". Gintoki took out his wallet, paying a thousand yen instead as Kagura took the plant into one hand, her umbrella in the other. "Keep the change". He muttered, exiting the shop with Kagura at his side.

They continued down the path. Gintoki stuffed his hands into his pants pockets, saying nothing. Kagura stared at the few flowers in front of her, a faint smile on her face. All that was left was to leave these flowers in the right place. And Kagura knew exactly where that was. Just a little longer in the street, and then towards the forests at the far end of those streets. Not too long now. Kagura had her own expectations for when they would reach this place; what she should say and what she should see. This was all stiring in her mind, every expectation molded together to create this uneasiness at the pit of her stomach. She had a strong feeling that she and Gintoki wouldn't be the only one's "there". But she bit her tongue, just in case. She didn't mention it just in case she was setting her expectations too high. Just in case...he wasn't there. 

... 

It took a small hike up the pathway within the forests, small shrines and overhangs guiding them up this earthy path. The sun glowed through the trees, beams on light scorching the earth and the stone below their feet. Kagura led the way, determined to reach the top. Gintoki looked around, listening to the echos and the sounds from within the trees. Birds, maybe a fox or two. He had never been around this sort of area for years, although there were more cherry blossom trees and a rope swing buried deep within the woodlands. Even with those memories, he felt no nostalgia for any old woodlands. If, by chance, there was a rope swing and a bunch of kids daring eachother to swing the highest then maybe, but the chances of that were very slim. This place, Kyoto, was Kagura's home after all. Or, to be more accurate, her old home. Once reaching the peak of this small hike, Gintoki was face with a small house up ahead-a cottage of bungalow that had been abandonded. From the darkness behind every window, and the dead rice paddy, it was easy to tell that no one had stepped foot in such a charming little house for along time. 

Kagura turned a corner at the top of the path, and Gintoki followed her. On a small cliff, right in front of the house and the dead rice paddy, surrounded by an oak, picket fence, was a small gravestone. Gintoki made his way towards Kagura, keeping a short distance from the grave as Kagura set down the small, potted plant by some candles that had been placed and lit some time ago. It had been unlit for a while, probably. Kagura brushed away the dead leaves and petals from the stone, backing away from the grave once she felt it was clear enough. They stood quietly for a moment. And then, out of the blue... 

"Uhh...Hey, Mami. It's me again, Kagura". Kagura began speaking, her eyes focused on the grave as a faint smile appeared on her lips. "Sorry that I haven't visited in a while, it must have been lonely. I just wanted to visit and say...Happy Mother's Day...Uh...I'm hear with Gin-chan too, so...Uh, Gin-chan, you wanna say something?" Kagura lightly nudged Gintoki's elbow, gesturing for him to speak up. 

"Ah, you sure? I mean, she's your Mom, right?" 

"Yeah, but maybe she wants to hear from you as well. Go ahead". 

Gintoki, of course, was caught off guard. There were no words that he could say, unless he came up with something on the spot. Something that wasn't insensitive to Kagura. He believed that the dead don't talk and that anything he would say couldn't receive a reply. Still, Kagura had her heart set on this. It was sentimental to her. And even if he wouldn't receive a reply, it wasn't the first time he spoke to a gravestone. 

"Uhh...H-hey there, Kagura's Mom. I, er, I don't really know what to say here. I don't have a speech or anything, since I never knew you that well. I suppose that, for someone like your daughter here, there's no need to prepare anything. Shows that the kid really knows how to speak from the heart. Even though I'm not family or anything, I'll say what I think I should. You, uh, raised one bratty, but good, kid. She is a good kid and I'll continue to keep an eye on her and protect her for as long as I can. Okay? Okay...".

Gintoki averted his eyes away from the grave stone, not noticing Kagura's gaze affixed on him in wonder. She smiled, accepting his words in her late mother's place. 

"You heard him, Mami. It's just like you said, you knew I'd find my place someday. I'm glad that it's with this messy head and a dorky four-eyes, so there's no need to worry. Well, I'll come see you again soon. Bye...Uh, Gin-chan, say good-bye". 

"Huh? Oh, right. Good-bye...er...". 

"Kouka...". 

"Right, Kouka-san". 

Satisfied, Kagura decided to leave with Gintoki following behind her. Although, once again, she was as quiet as a mouse, she seemed more content and maybe even happier. Like her mind was at peace after visiting her mother's grave to say just a few, simple words. Once Gintoki had just registered her silence, Kagura spoke up. 

"Hey, Gin-chan, would you come here with me again?" 

"Ah? Uh, yeah, I suppose. But I can't say I'll be as talkative". 

"That's okay. I'm sure Mami was just happy knowing that you came with me". 

"Mm...I probably wouldn't have been the only one". 

"Huh? What was that?" 

"Oh, nothin'. Let's just head back to the station". 

"Okay...Race ya there, loser!" 

"Wha-Kagura?! Oi! Wait up!" Kagura began dashing down the path at top speed. Of course she would, she had probably dashed down that path lots of times as a kid, considering she grew up in this place. "I'm too old for this shit!" And, of course, Gintoki had no choice but to follow. 

"Yeah, ya are! Hurry up, gramps!" 

"Who the hell are you callin' gramps?!" 

Their voices echoed from on top of the path, which would not have been heard if there wasn't a third presence in hiding. Behind a stone wall, slumped against its bricks, was Kamui. Under the shade, he held his umbrella, closed, with his mind blank and his expression sullen. He knew Kagura would visit, eventually. He just didn't expect it to be at the same time as his visit. He exhaled, standing to his feet. Opening up the umbrella once more, he walked back towards his mother's grave. 

"It seems...It seems my little sister has found her place. Yet she still clings to the idea that we're still family. Mother, I'm...I'm not going to apologise. I can't be her brother, or your son. In order for me to be stronger, I swore to myself I would get rid of those things. She's so like that bald bastard...stubborn and...and so selfish. You didn't deserve this. You didn't deserve...us. I thought I would have more to say, but I have some things to do that I know you wouldn't be proud of. It doesn't matter. I'm not longer apart of this family. So, for one last time I'll say this...Happy Mother's Day". 

Kamui clenched his fist, taking a deep breath before exhaling. He didn't plan to come here again. There wouldn't be any need. With what he had in mind, it was impossible to return to this "family", even if that meant going to juvy again-or even jail. He had to fufill his ambition, even if he knew that his mother would be sad to see him now. However, by now he understood that the dead have no judgement on others. With that in mind, upon exhaling from his deep breath, Kamui wore his usual innocent-but-obviously-morbid smile once more. 

"Good-bye, Mother...Good-bye for good". 

Those were Kamui's last words before he exited the scene, leaving the area in a stone-cold silence. Although his heart weighed heavily, he left all of this behind once and for all. To Kamui, throwing away the vast majority of the past was the only path to take. Nothing else mattered as far as he was concerned. Not his little sister, not his old "family". Nothing else, but this desire and anger that boiled within. Nothing else...Nothing... 

... 

Kagura returned to the apartment alone, as Gintoki decided to pick up a few late groceries for dinner at the store. He simply told Kagura to head back because it had obviously been a long trip and she was tired. Even she agreed to head back ahead of Gintoki. As she headed up the stairs, reaching the hallway, there was a rattling noise and a clicking emitting from the top floor. Kagura, curious, peered over the wall and spotted a familiar face just entering his apartment-and not in uniform. Hijikata, of course. He looked tired, pausing to yawn with his apartment key in his hand and within the lock of his door. At the corner of his eye, he spotted Kagura approuching in curiosity and chose to greet her. 

"Oh, hey there, China Girl. What are you doing coming back at this time? Where's Gintoki?" 

"He went to get some groceries". She answered immedietly. "What about you? Clearly you weren't workin' so you must've gone somewhere else". 

"Hah, nice deduction skills. You could be a detective if you wanted". 

"No thanks. And you didn't answer my question. Unless it's none of my business?" 

"Not exactly. I had somewhere to be today and...it took a while for me to get back, okay?" 

"So it is none of my business. Umm...What if I told you where me and Gin-chan were?" 

"What difference does it make? It's no concern of mine where you were-and I'm not even curious". 

"Pff...You're no fun. I just thought we could have a heart-to-heart talk like you had with Shinpachi. I want one too". Kagura sulked, crossing her arms. 

"O-okay, I wouldn't really call it that but...if there's something you wanna talk about, I'm right here". 

Kagura gave a brief nod before walking to the steps and sitting down at the top step. She patted the floor next to her without looking over her shoulder to Hijikata. He sighed, humoring her for the time being. Hijikata sat beside Kagura, keeping a short distance from her. At first, Kagura hesitated. But it didn't take too long for her to find the right words. 

"Gin-chan told you that we were going someplace, right?" 

"Yeah, that's right". 

"And he didn't say where?" Hijikata shook his head in reply. "Well...Gin-chan and I headed to Kyoto for a while and we went back to my old house up in the forests". 

"How come? Were you visiting someone or...?" 

"My Mom. Or her...gravestone, to be exact. SheShe's up in heaven". Kagura pointed to the ceiling while muttering this, and Hijikata gave a nod. 

"I, er...I see. Sorry to hear that, kiddo". 

"Don't be. When I used to go to see Mami, I felt sad or just really down. That was when I still lived in Kyoto and I had pretty muchlost everything. Then I moved in with Gin-chan and became friends with him and Shinpachi. I went back today with Gin-chan, and I felt better. Of course, I felt down on the train ride there. But having someone there really helped". 

"Right...I'm sure it did". 

"...I miss my Mami". Kagura muttered, sullen but smiling faintly. 

"...Me too, kid". 

"...?" 

"My Mother died when I was quite young too, so I know how you feel. Actually, since you told me, I might as well be honest too. I went to go visit her grave too. It's in my old home in Nara. I grew up there, even when Iwas sent to live with my biological father and all my half-siblings". 

"Huh, that so? Well, I guess I'm sorry to hear that too". 

"Hah, now that's really unnecissary. I'm a grown man, I've definitely come to terms with it by now. But I still make the effort to visit her grave when I can". 

"Are you implying that we're not so different?" 

"I never said that, but there does seem to be some similarities". 

"...Was your Mom pretty?" 

"Yes, she was". 

"Kind and gentle?" 

"Yes, of course. Very much so". 

"...Hm...Then I guess you're right. Can't believe out of everyone we know, I'm more similar to you". 

"Yeah, never thought I'd have the same familial circumstances as a brat like you". 

"Shut it, A-shaped hair. You're a brat". 

"No, you are". 

"No, you". 

"Are you seriously gonna argue with me?" 

"Uh-huh...". 

"Geez...". 

"Oi, what are you two doin' blocking the hallway? Other people need to get home, ya know". That voice...Gintoki's voice emitted right in front of them before they had the chance to look up. 

Gintoki stood there, grocery bag in hand, nonchalant and aloof despite his complaints. Kagura, surprisingly, was the one to stand up and make room for Gintoki to pass. 

"Well, I'm heading in first. I'll leave you two alone". 

"Kagura, you know I'm-". 

"I'll leave you two alone". Kagura repeated, although her tone was much more firm and insistent. 

Gintoki rolled his eyes, watching as Kagura unlocked the apartment with her spare key and entered quietly. At this, Hijikata stood to his feet and lingered around Gintoki in curiosity and even suspicion. 

"How much of that did you hear?" He asked. Gintoki shrugged in reply, heading up the small flight of stairs and into the hallway. 

"I didn't hear any of it". 

"Don't pull that crap. I know you must have heard some of it. Come on, spit it out and get it over with". 

"Haa...I entered at "I miss my Mom too". And sorta, listened. But I won't apologise for it. It isn't my fault that you guys decided to talk out in the hallway where anyone could hear the demon vice chief pour his heart out". 

"I suppose...you have a point. Not like you were really eavesdropping". 

"No, I wasn't. Anyway, I know that if you wanna talk about something to me, you will. That's kinda the foundation of this whole relationship, right?" 

Hijikata nodded in agreement. This was true. Their relationship was based on both a new attraction and trust. One, they found themselves attracted to eachother in ways that they had never felt before. And two, they would occasionally bond over their pasts, which brought them a little closer in the beginning of this relationship in the first place. 

"Now, do you wanna join us for dinner? It's not much, but it should make a pretty decent meal. How 'bout it?" 

"Are you sure? I mean, I...". 

"Come on, it'll be a nice change of pace to have another adult at the dinner table. Plus, we can talk more tonight, just you and me". 

"...Alright. Okay, that sounds fine". 

"Good. Come on in, make yourself at home and everything". 

Gintoki entered his apartment, leaving Hijikata to lock his own door before following swiftly. Looks like they were able to see eachother after all. They were both kind of glad, which was to be kept private. Of course. In addition, they both had a strong feeling that tonight they would have quite the conversation-especially after what Gintoki had heard. 

... 

Late night had drifted in, and the apartment was quiet. Hijikata was spending the night once again, although this was not premeditated and just happened by chance. Hijikata was the last to get into bed, sliding under the sheets as he inched a little closer to Gintoki. He lay down, staring up at the ceiling just as Gintoki was. 

"So...". Gintoki began, turning on his side towards Hijikata. "Where do you wanna begin?"

"...You really wanna discuss this?" 

"Sure, why not? I mean, if you don't wanna then that's fine. We can just go to sleep". 

"...". Hijikata gave out a sigh. "Alright, we'll talk about it. Today, as I'm sure you heard from my conversation with the China Girl, I went to go visit my Mother's grave in Nara. It's built between many other gravestones and doesn't really stand out much, unlike her or myself". 

"What do you mean?" 

"It's...It's sort of the reason why I was born". 

"Really? I think I know where this is going". 

"Haa, well, I don't know the whole story because I was just a child and my Mother couldn't exactly tell me such things. I only figured it out when I was old enough to understand that my Mother and...my Father...made a bastard child". 

"...". 

"Anyway, despite knowing my background and the gist of why I came to be born in the first place, I still loved my Mother unconditionally. She was the most important person to me up until I met my half-brother. She was all I had. And despite knowing where I came from, that she was taken by that irresponsible, waste of a man known as my Father...I still respected her and trusted her. Most mothers are naturally like that; strong and kind when it comes to their children. I can't say the same for everyone, but my Mother did her best for me and protected me until she died. I visit her grave because...I owe her that much, including the flowers". 

"You really miss her, huh?" 

"Of course I do. Having her as a Mother was only a few of my happiest memories as a child. There aren't many". 

"I'm a little envious, y'know. I don't even know what my Mom looks like". 

Those words startled Hijikata just a little, and his gaze darted towards Gintoki. To his surprise, the man smiled. It was a distant andalmost amused smile that gave off no signs of sadness or distress. 

"Gintoki, you...". 

"I came to terms with it a long time ago, or maybe I had already accepted my lack of memories before I even realised it. The point is that...You should hold onto those few memories you have, no matter how insignificant they may seem. Your Mother...isn't much different from most. Mine...I can only imagine that she was the same. Whoever she was, she protected me...too". 

Gintoki's faint smile didn't fade. If it were anyone else, Hijikata would have expected that person to cry or at least shed a few tears. But from Gintoki, there were none. There was only a sense of solace in his features as he, as he said moments ago, had already accepted that he couldn't remember his mother's face or her name. Gintoki was a strong person, though. Hijiiata believed that he was alright, despite discussing such a personal topic. 

"Anyway...". Gintoki cut off his distance from Hijikata, clearing his throat. "It's, er, getting late. You've got work tomorrow, too, so-...? Hi-...Hijikata?" 

Out of nowhere, Hijikata shifted closer towards Gintoki. Laying on his side, he gained the reach to give Gintoki a soft and comforting kiss on the bridge of his nose, then on his cheek. 

"Don't question it, you idiot. If you ended up cry8ng or something this wold feel a lot less awkward and random". 

"Wha-...haha, why would I be crying? You're the crybaby. I should be giving you kisses". 

"I'm not a crybaby, and I don't want your kisses. Your breath reeks of expired strawberry milk, anyway". 

"Then stop kissing me, your breath stinks of mayo. It's bitter and gross". 

"You dare insult-...you know what? I'm just gonna go to bed". Hijikata immediatly turned on his other side, pullint the covers to cover up more. Gintoki crawled closer at this. 

"Aw, c'mon~. I didn't say I didn't want your mayo kisses, I just said they were a little gross. Hijikata~. Fine, I'll kiss you instead". 

"Don't even-wah! G-Gintoki?! Mnnh! S-stop...Cut it out!" 

Gintoki kissed Hijikata wherever he could reach. Despite Hijikata's protests, it was a pleasant feeling-something he refused to say out loud. 

"Aww, so cute...". 

"Don't call me cute! Ack! And quit kissing me! It's weird!" 

"But you started it, weirdo". 

"Agggh...G-Gintoki!" 

Hijikata was flushed. His consoling, solace kisses had become a giant mess of sweet and almost forced kisses from Gintoki. In his mind, he knew that kissing Gintoki wouldn't change anything. But Hijikata hoped that-...No, it did seem to take their minds off of the previous topic. Not all Mothers are the same, but then again most of them are in varies ways. Hijikata saw his mother as being strong and independent until the moment she died, realising that he had to hold onto those aspects for himself. For Gintoki, he wished to believe that whoever his mother was gave him what she could until they had to part ways. For whatever reason. He wanted to believe, even just the tiniest bit, that she fought to keep him alive no matter what. And here he was. He didn't feel sad thinking about, but indifferent. With no memories in his mind, he felt no emotional attatchment to a mother he had never met. She could have been long gone by now. And, seeing what he had now-a sort of family-he decided not to spend his life wondering about this woman who was his mother. There was no need, as he had a family by his side already. The same could definitely be said for Hijikata, about having a family of sorts. And for everyone else who were, essentially, a part of this "family".


	16. Boredom Is A Way Of Saying "Go Do Something, Or Look In The Fridge If You're So Damn Bored!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These chapters are becoming relaxing chapters the more I write...Where's the story? Where's the plot? Well...it's coming. It's on its way. Story. And hopefully I can make more feels chapters.

Rain season, a time before humidity and scorching hot days for the rest of the summer. Dammit, this was summer. But cloudy and wet every single day for about a month. Gintoki could remember this feeling he had during every rain season for as long as he could actually remember. This feeling even gave him inspiration for a novel once. When staring out of the wide window in front of his desk, rain bombarding the city beneath the darkened clouds, he would always think that the rain made the city seem smaller, somehow. Like being lost in a fog that suffocates you in the cold and damp conditions. Take one step into the rain season's wrath and you drown. So why...Why was Kagura so insistent to go out?

It had only been a few days since the rain season started, and it was the one weekend that Kagura did not look forward to. It meant that she was trapped inside the apartment with nothing to do but sit and wait for the day to finally end. For once, going to school was an escape. Gintoki would think that going out was an escape too, if he didn't have a deadline on the next chapter to meet. So, likewise, he was stuck inside the apartment too. 

"Aggh! Why has that Grandma forsaken me?!" He cried out, ruffling his own hair in frustration. 

To be back at square one again, meeting deadlines, writing the chapter within those deadlines, coming up with suitable story ideas before writing the chaoter within the deadline, while taking strawberry milk and pee breaks inbetween. It was all too much sometimes...Kagura lay sprawled across the couch, watching some random shows on the television to distract herself. She would fidget and roll over in discomfort and irritation. For her, just that was unbearable. And she dreaded to gain a headache as well as a bad case of total boredom. Well, it was too late for the latter, it seemed. 

"Ugh...Gin-chan, I don't care about the rain. I wanna go out...". 

"Don't. If you catch a cold, I'll have to take care of you-and I can't because I have work. Be a little considerate of Gin-san, will ya?" 

"C'mon~, I need to walk Sadaharu anyway. I bet he's just as bored". 

"Then play with him". 

"I don't have the energy for that~". Kagura droned on in a whiny, spoiled kind of voice.

Her stubborn and childish attitude provoked a sigh from Gintoki, although he could understand why she was whining like that on a day like this. Boredom was, in most kid's cases, torture on the mind and body. This demon known as "boredom" sucks all the energy out of children during the rain season when their mother's actually give a damn and warn them not to go outside, in case they get sick. So, wait, did that make Gintoki...the mother?-Gah, no...That kind of question had already crossed his mind once and he really didn't want it to cross again. 

"Don't you have homework to do? I know from experience that you can get so bored that something like homework or studying is a lot less boring". 

"Mm...Well, Shinpachi's coming over later and we were gonna do homework together. So I'm waiting for that". 

Gintoki checked the clock on his desk and recognised the hour that gradually approuched. Shinpachi would be coming over soon. Thank god, that sounded like the most interesting thing that would happen thus far. Hijikata said he had a lot of work to do and that he didn't know when he would finish, so Gintoki's mind was occupied on both work and the hope that Hijikata would at least call-bearing good news. Good news that said something along the lines of, "I'll come over tonight and we can do it as much as you want". Something to that affect, although Hijikata would never say that without effectively destroying his pride and self-respect. Agh, it was that bastard's fault for being so dedicated to his job that they hadn't actually slept together for several short weeks! They fooled around when they could and cuddled in bed, but the rain season and their jobs kept them apart-sexually! Gintoki had only just gotten attached to the feeling of Hijikata's soft skin and the sound of his sweet voice, the look in his eyes whenever he topped and the cute way he called Gintoki's name-whether he was on bottom or top. It was so...so... 

"Gross~, Gin-chan, you're drooling! Cut it out!" 

"Eh?! Hah?...Wha-...Uh...". Gintoki raised his head from his desk, swiftly wiping his chin upon realising that he was drooling like some pervert as he thought of Hijikata being all messed up and out of his usual comfort zone of work and policing. "What's up, ya damn brat? Why the hell are you so close?" 

Gintoki had only come to ask that question-as rude as it sounded-when his mind caught up and stopped spacing out. Kagura looked concerned, in an irritated way. Crossing her arms, she pouted. 

"I asked you a question and you ignored me. Ass". 

"Uugh, well, spit it out. What's up?" 

"Haa, idiot. What are ya writing? I'm curious". 

"Are you that bored? Since when do you give two shits about my work?" 

"Since all the stuck-up brats at school talk about it in their weird book club that I'm not allowed to be a part of 'cause I've never read one of your books. Who the hell do they think they are? Bunch'a bitches. I don't want to be in their sucky club anyways". 

"Yeah, don't bother yourself with them, kid. It's not worth it. Besides, you live with the author of those books. If they knew, they'd be jealous and even kiss the soles of your shoes for it-Ah! But that doesn't give you the right to just mouth off to a bunch of shitty teenage girls! Ya got it?!" 

"Yeah, yeah, I know! Geez, of course I wouldn't tell 'em. To think that I would stoop as low as them. Are you trying to blacken my heart and soul?!" 

"What's black is the giant hole in your brain! And I know you, you'd happily make those girls jealous for your own amusement". 

"Nuh-uh...!" 

"Yuh-huh...!" 

"Nuh-uuhhhh!" 

"Yuh-huuuuuuh!" 

"What are you guys doing?" 

"Waaaah!" 

Out of nowhere, Shinpachi's voice called out to the two "children" and surprised them beyond belief as they jolted and cried out, retreating from their childish quarrelling in utter surprise. Shinpachi was standing at the entranceway, wearing a coat that was completely soaked, his bangs of plain, brown hair wet, his glasses foggey from beads of rain. He sighed, placing down his school bag, which was also a little wet. It seemed as though he did his best to spare the bag, and the work inside, from the rainstorm outside. With red, trembling fingers, Shinpadhi undid the laces of his shoes and slipped them off swiftly before taking off his coat and entering the apartment, bag in hand. 

"Haa, geez, Patsuan, you scared Kagura there. You okay, kiddo?" 

"Wha-?! I wasn't scared! Are you brain-dead?! You're the one who's scared! And it was only Shinpachi! Not a ghost!" 

"What was that?! Are you implying that I'm scared of ghosts?!-'cause you're wrong!" 

"Nuh-uh...!" 

"Yuh-huh...!" 

"Nuh-uuuuuuh!" 

"Yuh-hhuuuuuuuh!" 

Shinpachi rolled his eyes as they started their arguing again, a thoroughly spent expression plastered onto Shinpachi's face. This day just got much longer, didn't it? 

... 

It was finally quiet. Gintoki continued with his novel, taking this most recent chapter slowly as the words flowed in his mind like the tidal waves he once imagined prior to this novel-around the time he wrote his second book. In the back of the room, in front of the T.V-the volume on low-Shinpachi and Kagura were seated on the floor with notes and textbooks scattered before them, as well as a snack or two to keep their energy up. It wasn't often that the apartment was so quiet. This was a rare occurance that was sheer evidence of their boredom during this time. If not for their work, they would each have gone mad by this point. Gintoki typed each key to make up many words that, he felt, fit this particular novel. This was one of his "special novels", something that is part of a series created by the fans themselves, categorised as the more emotional and heart-felt stories. Of course none of these were silly sob stories or anything of the sort, like "Chicken Soup for the Soul". No. They were never sob stories. Simply his feelings from past experiences unconsciously written within his very own best selling novels. A fictional autobiography, if you will. But Gintoki didn't write his novels to receive empathy or even sympathy. He...He... 

He wasn't sure why he wrote so passionately. 

That's all it was. 

Gintoki inhaled deeply through his nose, leaning back as comfortably as his back would allow him in these very few quiet moments, before exhaling. Skimming over the first few paragraphs on yet another word document with a page break or two, Gintoki felt this tiny ray of satisfaction fill his head. It seemed arrogant to be pleased with a draft-one that wasn't even complete-but Gintoki was an arrogant man who was taught to believe in his own abilities to write or do just about anything that he put his mind to, even if it was a little arrogant. Swiftly, Gintoki saved the document as it was for the time being, his eyes drifting from the laptop as it carefully processed the updated document. Staring out of the window, Gintoki's mind drifted as well. His thoughts drifted to a place that wasn't so quiet in his mind's eye. An office, phones ringing off the hook, voices and sounds of sirens echoing in his head, like a ringing that seemed to buzz in his ear. He imagined the tall, dark-haired individual watching over his comrades with the same sullen expression that suits a stick in the mud like him. Either that or he was taking that moody, pissed off expression out in the rain as he had been forced to patrol today by his boss-and not some stalker gorilla-but the "boss". 

Gintoki closed his eyes, imagining it like a story playing out in his head. But as soon as he shut out reality with intent to look elsewhere for entertainment, he came to something that wasn't intended. The images faded in, dim lighting and the surface of a silk, beige bed that could only be seen in some sort of love hotel. Nothing but table lamps, or perhaps candles, to light this made-up room in Gintoki's head. As soon as the image came to mind, he immediatly considered opening his eyes to get rid of it. But he was curious, as it was his own imagination. As he had shut out the room, his laptop, his original story, Gintoki had suddenly come up with, what anyone could plainly recognise as a "wet daydream". His eyebrow twitched just coming up with that phrase as soon as his mind's eye spotted the tall, dark-haired man with the sullen expression laying underneath him with bare, flushed and moist skin. His arms were outstretched, his chest heaving with lewd mixture of excitement and anxiety. He no longer had a sullen look, his dark-haired, A-shaped bangs was sticking to his forehead with sweat. 

("G-Gintoki...Gintoki!") 

His eyebrow twitched again, hearing the familiar voice resonate within his own mind like he recorded it within his memory. It was so vivid as well. Made him feel like a pervert, thinking about that man-...No. To think of Hijikata this way, as though he really missed those intimate and heated moments of overwhelming pleasure and even a little pain. (But, of course, pain was only natural). He opened his eyes, his heart jumping as if it had stopped beating during his daydream. Rubbing his irritated eye, Gintoki disgarded the thought-letting it simply fade away from his mind. To be distracted by such thoughts, and during the day to boot, was something only a teenager during class would do. So what other choice did he have but to continue his work and allow the tidal wave of words and story line to flow back into his mind. But his previous thought lingered, a small sign telling him to get in contact with Hijikata at some point. 

Although he was displeased with having a relationship over the phone most of the time. For Gintoki-and in all seriousness-being with Hijikata in person was satisfying and enjoyable enough, even without sex. And...for Gintoki, that was odd. For Gintoki...it was beyond weird. For Gintoki...a man who's had his fair share of experience without any platonic or romantic relations, now feels just as comfortable with being in a comfortable, cosy, cuddling up on the sofa to watch soap operas and japanese dramas in the evening, kind of relationship without being hot and bothered like teenage couples who literally just discover sex. For Gintoki, being fine with that cosy atmosphere was unusual. Sure, he wanted to sleep with Hijikata more and experience all sorts of play, but the more romantic aspects were usually his first thought. For instance, he would think about calling Hijikata, talk to him, flirt (depending on what that was for those two), meet, have a meal at some time of day, watch T.V, go out drinking for a date, cuddle up under the covers while wearing loose clothes and that would be that. 

Christ, these were his most entertaining thoughts-and they kept him occupied and distracted from work. Gintoki shut his eyes again, leaning back in his chair and closing his eyes in deep, concentrated thought. He tried to escape the images of a flustered and disoriented Hijikata panting, moaning and gripping the bedsheets underneath him in pure joy. But these weren't necessarily bad thoughts. In fact, Gintoki didn't have them as often. He only really thought about it in the bath, shower, or in bed when it was quiet and when he was isolated enough to not feel embarassed about haging such dirty images pop up in his head. And it wasn't ideal for him to exactly "pleasure" himself to these thoughts. Although there was no shame for him to do so. Anyway, he returned to the office with the noises and the sulken expression on Hijikata's face as he ordered everyone around. However, there was some doubt in his image. Something felt off, and Gintoki thought it was intuition that told him to place Hijikata elsewhere in his head. On a day like this, with a job like his, of course they would physically have him go elsewhere-on patrol, most likely. Yeah, that must've been it if not the accurate office scene... 

... 

The rain was heavy, pouring down at a rapid rate. Thank god they decided to patrol in the car, Hijikata and Okita. Although one sigh of breath immediatly indicated that the inside of the car wasn't exactly warm. A cold chill ran up Hijikata's arms and spine, his mind and eyes still focused on the road as they avoided the squeaking and waving of the windshield wipers. Okita stared out of the passanger seat window, feigning his duty to look out for any suspicious signs of crime, or crime in general. But he thought, humorous in a bored kind of way, that no one would commit murder or petty theft in such miserable weather. Unless they didn't mind catching a cold in a freezing jail cell after stealing a woman's umbrella, and maybe her purse, in the storm. Who the hell would go that far anyway? Morons. 

"Hijikata-san, how much longer do we have to do this? College is more fun than this". 

"If you're bored why not get out and go play in the puddles like a good kid?" 

"Go die". 

"Listen, it can't be helped. We're stuck on patrol until a call comes through. If something interesting's happening, we'll be informed about it right away. But, for some reason, I get the notion that there won't be a lot of crime during the rain season. I'm almost grateful for the harsh weather cutting us some slack". 

"This is cutting us slack?" 

"Dunno what you're complaining about, having to work for only a few short hours. Kids, honestly...". 

"Seriously, die you bastard". Okita's tone was very indifferent and casually said, which gave Hijikata the motive to not take anything Okita said seriously. However, a part of him did know that Okita was being sincere with his little death threats. But, for personal reasons, he chose not to snap back. All Hijikata could do was roll his eyes. 

The rain was miserable, sullen, continuous until it would inevitably dry up and create almost unbearable humidity in the atmoshpere-scorching Japan during the rest of the summer. Honestly, he found the rain to be more appealing than hot conditions in a hot, black uniform that absorbed heat and sweat all. day. long. For a couple of months. All day. Yes, the rain was miserable and the season lasted almost as long as the heat wave to sweep across Tokyo, and the rest of Japan, but at least it was bearable as long as you had warm clothing and shelter of some sort-like an umbrella or if you put up with the boredom of staying inside the house. Even now, Hijikata and Okita had the privelage of patrolling tue streets in a police car, listening out for reports on crime of disturbances in their area. The radio crackled, one of the operators coming through in a muffled voice, reporting every new disturbannce to whoever was in a particular district. 

"Are any of those in this district?" Okita asked, looking to the radio's receiver as though he had the urge to pick it up and reply. It wouldn't surprise Hijikata if Okita had the idea, at least. 

"If you were listening, you wouldn't have to ask, would you? No, none of these reports are around here. Something may come up eventually, so listen carefully". 

"How the hell is anyone supposed to pick up reports from a muffled voice?" 

"You get used to it. But you're here to learn, remember? So, eventually, you'll have to get used to it too".

"Mph...Sure thing, 'boss'...". 

Whenever Okita was sarcastic, Hijikata knew. He knew because a lot of Okita's sarcasm was directed at him, each witty comment sharp but numb on Hijikata's skin. Hijikata knew himself that he wasn't really a thick-skinned person, Gintoki's witty comments being proof of that. However, he didn't want to let Okita's words faze him too much. They used to, but after a while the need to bite back was no longer there. Okita suspected that Hijikata had greatly matured since they were younger, arguing and fighting within that small dojo just a little west from Nara. The fact that Hijikata refused to bite back, annoyed Okita. And it annoyed him that he was annoyed. For Hijikata to act like such an adult in front of him, made Okita feel like the child that attacked first and was challenged by a really girly boy, with his long hair and the glimmer in his eyes whenever he conversed with Kondo-san. He was still there, but his hair was just shorter. 

"Sougo...". 

"What...?" 

"I, er...I was wondering if-". 

"I already have plans". 

"At least lemme finish, brat". 

Okita clicked his tongue, leaning back in his chair away from the window, his eyes drifting to Hijikata's stupid face as an indifferent gesture to spit out whatever crap he wanted to say and get it over with. 

"What is it?" He asked. 

"I was wondering if you wanted to come along with Kondo-san and myself next Sunday. We were planning to get dinner someplace, since we rarely have the chance to. If you want, you can join us". 

"...As I said...". Okita began, withdrawing back to his original position; elbow against the door, hand cupping his cheek, eyes to the window. "I have plans". He muttered, coldly. However, Hijikata didn't take offense to it. "Besides, I wouldn't want to be next to you guys while you're drinkin' and yuckin' it up while I'm sittin' there with a glass of orange juice, sober and too young to drink with me". 

Saying that, the probability that Okita had plans seemed very low now. Naturally. 

"It's your loss. But, hey, Gintoki said to the spectacles kid that when he's old enough, he'd buy him his first drink. Kondo and I will do the same for you, like we've planned for a while. How about it?" 

Why? Okita asked himself this question many times when Hijikata spoke to him like this. Was he really trying to get on his good side? No. Hijikata doesn't care to be on anyone's good side but Kondo's. With that scorched into his mind, out of spite, Okita couldn't see Hijikata being a "he's trying too hard" kind of man. That's what step-dads and boyfriends do, do they not? For Hijikata, his words were questionable and puzzling to Okita. Perhaps because no one had ever shown Okita any real kindness aside from his big sister and Kondo. It was funny to think that Hijikata was trying to learn from them a bit. Before she died, Okita could imagine his sister smiling at Hijikata and saying "he's a good kid, so be kind to him and spoil him". She wouldn't have done that, realistically speaking...would she? 

"Sougo...?" Hijikata had called out to him, maybe a few times by now. Okita woke up from his daydream, a jolt rushing through his brain as his ears picked up Hijikata's voice as if it was miles away, far off into the distance like an echo. "Are you okay?" 

Okita, once he had caught up, scoffed quietly. 

"What's with that? You sound really concerned. What are you, my dad?" 

"Don't say dumb shit like that-of course not. Seeing you space out like that is a distraction. Knowing you, I'd hate to imagine what you're thinking about". 

"Mm...Maybe you're head on a large, metal spike?" 

"Haa, whatever you say". 

"What, you don't believe me?" 

"It's not that I doubt the messed up shit in your head, I just doubt that you would be so graphic with such a straight face. It's unlike you". 

"...What do you know?" 

"I know that your mind is elsewhere, but it's none of my business, is it?" 

He genuinely wasn't curious, was he? He could simply say "it's none of my business" and that would be that. Conversation over. Was he actually trying? Just a little? Hah, what a joke. No, Hijikata didn't need to try. He was already hated by Okita, no matter what kind of pass-time conversation they had. The fact that Hijikata claimed to understand Okita quite a bit was irritating also. But what was more irritating was that Okita himself didn't understand a guy like Hijikata at all. Okita sighed deeply at that thought. 

"Man...this is so boring". He muttered. 

... 

It hurt to stretch. After being seated in the same place for a few hours, even stretching was no longer a relief for Gintoki. He had done a little less work than originally intended, but he was pretty confident that he could meet his deadline. Even so, the pressure to finish always came back, like the tide of words. But this tide was freezing cold and made Gintoki hesitate over and over as to whether he should go with the ideas in his head or completely scrap them and start over. Again and again. He leaned back in his seat again, his back aching and his legs cramping up. Nothing would help unless he stood up. He wanted a distraction, but knew he would fall behind a little if he took one break. He would lose focus. He would miss the deadline and get yelled at by the old hag with the rolled up magazines and hard clipboards. But, you know what... 

"Fuck it...". He mumbled, standing up from his desk. 

Of course, numbness and pain collided in his legs. Pins and needles, to be precise. He needed inspiration, a way to get the calm tide sweeping into his mind once again. Maybe a single break couldn't hurt. Just one. The only thing that it could damage was his time, and his head if he missed his deadline. Again, rolled up magazines and clipboards. Behind him, he heard the fridge in the kitchen open from the other end of the room. Kagura was crouched in front of it, distracted as she tried to search for something to fill her stomach, a distraction to fill her mind. She was, indeed, distracted. Shinpachi, too, was distracted. Textbooks, notes, homework. Distracted. Neither paid attention to him. Neither would suspect. Maybe a casual phrase would help. Maybe they wouldn't hear it. He hoped they wouldn't hear him. Just one...Just one would do. 

"Uh, I'm gonna head to the convenience store to pick up some sweet things. I'll even buy something for you two, okay?" 

Just as Gintoki headed towards the front door, the two kid's perked up their heads and looked directly at Gintoki with expressions of realisation. With those words that Gintoki just uttered, they knew. They heard him perfectly. 

"Shinpachi, quick! He's gonna go buy cigarettes! Grab 'em!" 

"I'm on it!" 

"...!" 

Gintoki made a mad dash for the door, ignoring the fact that he had shoes and a coat to put on before exiting. He rushed forward, Kagura and Shinpachi making their own mad dash to close in on him. They stumbled and slid across the hardwood floors, but swiftly made the leap to grab Gintoki as tightly as possible. Kagura was the one who lept, wrapping her arms around Gintoki while temporarily airborne. Shinpachi pulled on his upper half, dragging him down to the floor with all his strength. 

"Gwaah...!" They all cried out, Gintoki's eyes wide as the shock. 

Before he knew it, Gintoki collapsed to the floor with a loud thud, the end table shaking and the objects atop of it rattling as the impact of Gintoki's body created a small quake. Gintoki rolled on his stomach, attempting to crawl away. However, Kagura put her full wait on his back in a seated position. Shinpachi pinned Gintoki's legs down, pulling them to keep him still. There was a struggle, deparation to get away clear as day. 

"Agh! Come on, you brats! Lemme go! I'm not buying cigarettes!" 

"Liar! You're a big fat liar, Gin-chan!" Kagura cried, frustrated. "You've been so good for the past few months, so why are you tryin' to ruin that 'cause you've got writer's flock?!" 

"Uh, you mean writer's 'block', Kagura-chan". 

"Same difference, Shinpachi!" 

"N-no, they're really not. Anyway, I think what Kagura is trying to say that you shouldn't go back to smoking for inspiration. We think you should take a break, but smoking won't help, Gin-san". 

"What do you know, ya four-eyed, virgin, otaku, straight-man?! I'll fuckin' kill you!" 

"Why are you pulling insults and threats out your ass like you've got withdrawl syndrom again?! Can we not go back to that nightmare?!-thanks!" 

Both Shinpachi and Kagura could vividly remember Gintoki's withdrawl syndrom after just quiting his filthy habit. He would often get easily frustrated or antsy. He didn't mean to be, and the kids understood that. But they did often fight fire with fire in pointless arguments that were either comical or just plain stupid. 

"Gin-chan, you're on a timeout!" 

"Don't treat me like a kid! You're the kids! I'll put you on a timeout!" 

"No way!" 

"Kagura, you're grounded!" 

"Aaagh!" 

"Why the hell are you two fighting over authority?! Are you both brain dead?!" 

"Shinpachi, you're grounded". 

"Shut up, old man! You have no authority over me!" 

"Now look who's pulling threats outta his ass! And I'm not an old man! I'm still young-ish!" 

"Gin-chan, don't delude yourself. Shinpachi's right, you are getting old". 

"Proove it!" 

Was this getting a little off topic, or what? Shinpachi reached for Gintoki's naturally messy hair, pulling from it a single strand that curled up between his fingers. He held the strand in front of Gintoki's face. 

"Gray hair". Shinpachi muttered. 

"Gray hair, my ass! That's silver! The entire mop is silver!" 

"Nah, Shinpachi. I think you pulled out the wrong hair". Yep, the topic was definitely sliding off to the side; Gintoki's body still pinned to the ground. "Here, it's this one". 

Kagura suddenly grabbed a tuff of Gintoki's hair, pulling at it out of spite. 

"Ack! Aaacck! S-stop! I'm gonna go bald! Then I'll really be an old man! Like your papi! Owww! I said sto-...!" 

All the nonsense that seemed to drift in an entirely different direction stopped abruptly when the phone on Gintoki's desk began to ring. Silence between the three allowed the noise to echo for a few seconds, their minds processing the sudden turn of events as quickly as they could. Shinpachi was the one to stand up, of his own volition, and cease the echo. Kagura remained on top of Gintoki's back, holding him in place in case he decided to sneak off and buy cigarettes. Silence joined them once more, a few sedonds before Shinpachi uttered a "hello". A few more sedonds of silence, a look of surprise and realisation crossing Shinpachi's face in a flash. 

"Ah, Hijikata-san, it's you...mm-hm...". Hijikata...Gintoki felt relief from that. Why? He wasn't sure himself. Maybe because it would get him out of this crushing situation. "Mm-hm, yeah, he's here. I suppose you wanna speak to him? Mm-...O-okay. One moment, please. Uh, Gin-san...". Shinpachi retracted the receiver from his ear, turning towards Gintoki directly. 

With that, Kagura got off of Gintoki's body, and allowed him to stand up-aching in all sorts of places, though mainly his back. He took the phone from Shinpachi, holding the receiver to his ear and close to his lips. 

"Hey...". He said, followed by a groan of pain as he arched his back. 

["Hey. Was that a groan just now? Are you alright?"] 

"Hah, no need for you to act so concerned". 

["Really? Hah, I've already gotten that today. I suppose the role of caregiver doesn't suit me, huh?"] 

"Eh? Uh...What made you think it did? Anyway, I'm fine. Thanks. So, what's up?" 

["Nothing much, just checking in. We haven't had a lot of crime reports today, so that makes me wonder when I'll be able to get off work. I'll have to check in with Kondo-san and see if I can take on any other duties or just head home. Although, the former is the more likely option, I think"]. 

"What? Don't say that. You got my hopes up for a sec', asshole". 

["I got your hopes up? Do you wanna see me today?"] 

"Maybe. It's just been so boring around here. I've been pretty pressured by work, so a little visit from you would gimme a great boost". 

["Yeah, right"]. 

"No, I'm serious. If you can't come, though, then that's okay too. You just work hard to steal our taxes and suspect our youth of suspicious behaviour when they're not suspicious at all, Mr Policeman". 

["I have no real response to that. Listen, I may come by for a little while tonight, if you'd like"]. 

"That's your choice, y'know. So don't blame me if you're exhausted tomorrow for visiting me for an hour instead of catching sleep". 

["Who said anything about an hour? I was thinking more the long the lines of a few short hours, depnding when I'm able to get off work"]. 

"A few hours, eh? Okay, that should be fine. We'll have a few drinks and drain the boredom from our sorry souls, huh?" 

["Yeah, something like that. Either way, I wouldn't mind just seeing you for a few measly hours, y'know"]. 

"...?" Gintoki froze, quiet, puzzled. What..."Sorry, what was that?" 

["Ah, nothing. I'm tired and talking nonsense. Just make sure you don't open up a strong brand of alcohol, 'cause it'll be a pain in the ass for me"]. 

"Ah?! What's that supposed to mean?! You know I can handle my booze better than you!" 

["No, you can't. Now, I have to go. I'll see you tonight, I guess"]. 

"Don't just end it there. We'll have a drinking contest sometime to see who can hold their booze better". 

["Whatever, Gintoki. See ya"]. 

They hung up. It was silent once more. What...Hijikata said...No, it had to have been Gintoki's imagination or senseless rambling on Hijikata's part. Not like they were so attached to eachother that being together for a few minutes, or an hour at most, was enough to make them feel satisfied and happy. They were only seeing eachother, after all. They weren't "lovers" who felt content by simply seeing the other's face or holding them for mere seconds. And it wasn't as if Hijikata's tone was sappy or incredibly sincere. It was casual and not shy. Yeah, that was better suited to a proud guy like him. Besides, not seeing Hijikata would certainly prove to be quite dull for the rest of the day. Gintoki agreed that seeing him for a little while would ease the boredom and stress of work greatly. With a sigh, Gintoki turned back towards the two brats. He froze upon seeing their judgemental expressions. Why? Wws it because of the drinking contest thing? He wasn't one-hundred percent serious about that, knowing perfectly well that he couldn't hold alcohol. 

"What...?" Gintoki questioned, only to receive the cold shoulder. 

It was the drinking thing, wasn't it? As well as the old smoking habit and his old pachinko addiction, Gintoki appeared to have quite a few old man problems, huh? Wait...old man? Aggh! No way! No way was he an old man yeeeeeet! 

... 

The rain had gone on all day, and from a bored person's perspective, it had only gotten heavier as the hours past. Matako sat at her desk, looking over her laptop and clicking the same key as she muttered quietly to herself. This was more fun when watching other people, and that had nothing to do with work. In her boredom, her eyes drifted from the laptop screen to find someone new. Someone who had not played this "game" yet. 

"Matako, what are you doing?" 

"Waah...!" Matako woke up from her boredom, flabbergasted as that familiar, emotionless tone rang out from behind her. In her shock, she quickly shut her laptop without turning the power off. Her head spun towards this person, irritation snapping into her thoughts almost immediatly when her eyes were set on, none other than, Bansai. "Bansai! You scared the shit outta me! Why'd ya have to sneak up on me like that?!" 

"...You first. What were you doing? Screwing around instead of working, I daresay". 

"Uck! No! I...I wasn't screwing around. Anyway, I've already finished my work, so can I go home now?" 

"This is the first time I've seen you so eager to leave the office". 

"Only 'cause I keep my complaints to myself. Anyway, I'm only eager now 'cause I'm bored, I've finished and Shinsuke-sama isn't here today". 

"Why do you say that? It's not like he speaks to you with personal reasons. You mostly just get his tea, and mine, I daresay". 

"Don't be a jerk! No wonder you're single. No woman would want a cruel and cold asshole like you, Bansai". 

"...". 

Oh, yeah. That's right. She didn't know...She didn't know of Bansai's relationship with Takasugi. Or about their nightly "activities". Nor did she know about how connected they had become these past few months, the cute words to come from Takasugi's mouth, how endearing he could be, his body, his kisses, how good it felt to be with him, how he acted as the dominant and, most importantly, the beauty he revealed when the bandage was removed from his face...a smile that no one else has ever seen... 

"Bansai...Bansai!...BANSAI!" Matako yelled, slamming her hand on the desk with as much force as she could project. Bansai stopped spacing out, his emotionless expression remaining. 

"...? What is it?" 

"The hell did ya space out for? What, do you actually have some woman in your life?" 

A woman...A woman in his life... 

"...No, I don't". 

"Hm...I believe you. You're not interested in that kinda thing, huh? Either that or you prefer men. Pffft...".

"...". 

Matako's eyes darted towards a silent Bansai. Lacking any kind of reply was ordinary for someone like him, a person who tends to cut off a conversation with a long pause, but in this context it was out of the ordinary. 

"Oi, what's with that long pause? Don't tell me you're actually...". 

"I'm not". Bansai finally uttered a reply, casual and most definitely honest. He wasn't, despite the circumstances between Takasugi and himself. 

"Oh, well, alright. If ya say so...". 

Matako would have been more suspicious if it were anyone else, but she knew Bansai long enough to know when he was being honest. He was, mostly. She could admit that it was hard to tell with him sometimes, but he really was truthful in most cases. The proof was in his job and his position by Takasugi's side. He wasn't a liar. He just had a cruel personality that wasn't visible in his facial expressions, if he had any. 

"Okay, then. I think I'll get back to work. And, instead of screwing around, you should simply move onto the next thing, I daresay". 

"Ah! Hey, I just thought of something!" 

Matako was suddenly brimming with energy and enthusiasm, as well as curiosity. She pulled Bansai by his arm, closer towards her laptop as Matako opened it up with her free hand. The screen flashed back into life, presenting some sort of profile. It was an employee at the office, one whom Bansai recognised but had no relation with in the workplace. A young woman, stationed somewhere on the fifth floor with glasses and a quiet demeanor. Yes, Bansai received that vibe from her-just using the photo displayed on the top-left side of the screen next to a wall of text. 

"Matako, what-...". 

"I found these in some random file that I randomly clicked on accident. It's apparently profiles of everyone working in the offices. Ain't that neat?" 

"Matako, the only reason you found this was because this isn't your laptop. You're merely boring it by a co-worker until we receive one for you. I daresay, this must be a colleague from human resources to have this kind of info. I think this woman in a trainee". 

"A trainee? But there are quite a few people on this list". 

"Well, this is a big company. It's no surprise if there are still a lot of employees still in training, like you. Anyway, why the hell do you have this tab up? Close it and get back to work". 

"Hold on! I've asked quite a few people around the office and I was wondering if you wanna join in and play "Marry, Fuck or Kill". Considering I'm now just asking you, this should be interesting". 

"...Why do I have to do this? Aren't you just bored?" 

"Duh, that ain't no secret. But watching you play this should be really fun for me. We'll see if you actually do have any interests, Ban-sai. And you have to be as honest as possible, otherwise it's no fun. Now, how about it? Marry, fuck, or kill?" 

Bansai looked at the screen, hesitating. This wasn't something he cared about. In fact, he had no interest at all. Wasn't this rather childish and degrading to the people on these profiles? It would have been wise to back away and get on with work, especially when Takasugi came to mind out of the blue when faced with this little "game". Why now? It was just a silly little game... 

"Mm...Kill". Bansai muttered, coldly. 

"Eh? That's quite harsh, even for you. But, alright. Never expected a 'kill' right off the bat, but alright. Next". 

The next profile popped up, this time a young man. No opinion, in all honesty. 

"Kill...". 

"Uu? Okay? Next...". 

Next picture... 

"Kill...". 

And the next....

"Kill...". 

Again and again with each click of the keypad. 

"Kill...kill...kill...kill....kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill-". 

"Okay! Bansai!" Matako swiftly shut the laptop, quite astonished by Bansai's display of true colours, all red, black and grey colours. "I can see you harbour a lot of hatred for our co-workers. Nice...". 

"That isn't the case, I daresay". Matako's eyebrow arched in puzzlement. "If you've only given me three options, then I must be honest and go with the one that suits my feelings best, I daresay. I'd never marry or be on intimate terms with any of these people". 

"Mm...Actually, you make a fair point. I don't really see you doing anything other than killing these people if given only three options. It's strange, y'know. I think I mostly picked fuck or kill, too. But the only option out of all three that lacks commitment is the 'fuck' option. No responsibilities, no real weight weighing down on your shoulders. I don't think I could really kill someone. And I certainly don't think I could ever get married. Maybe unless...it was Shinsuke-sama".

Marrying Takasugi...Marrying...Shinsuke. Out of all the men inside and outside of the office, it had to be her dear "Shinsuke-sama". The mysterious loner who's the only person not on this list, the only person Matako is really attracted to, the only person Bansai has intimate relations with. Why oh why did it have to be him. Why oh why. Bansai could easily fret over these questions, get jealous or irritated at Matako for still being attracted to a man like Shinsuke for being Shinsuke. It wasn't her fault, it was totally natural. Behind the bandage and the quiet, mysterious demeanor, Takasugi was clearly handsome, intelligent, compitent in his work and a good shamisen player if you took the time to listen to his song. 

In Bansai's eyes, who wouldn't want to be involved with him intimately? Of course, generically speaking, that question mostly applied to women. But to marry Takasugi...To marry Shinsuke...Would anyone marry him? Would anyone really want to be commited to that mysterious attraction for the rest of their lives? Or was it...really just that? An attraction to glance at, gossip over and then forget about the next minute or so. Matako seemed different in that sense. Hearing her say that she would be so devoted to Takasugi made Bansai wonder if her feelings were more than just a crush. Again, he wasn't irritated or angry. This was normal, after all. This...Matako's feelings, Matako and Takasugi...was normal. Would she ever get bored? Would she find someone else in the blink of an eye? Bansai doubted it. And that was where the slight irritation lay. 

"Well...". Matako stretched her arms up, groaning. "I'm gonna find some more work to do, since it doesn't look like I'll be able to go home yet. I'll be back". 

Matako left her seat, walking off without turning back. She didn't say another word to Bansai, and he didn't say anything either. He sighed, leaning against the desk in deep thought. He wondered himself if these feelings he developed for Takasugi were temporary. But, in his mind and heart, he always returned to the same answer. "No. They don't feel temproary, I daresay. They're not". So, the only question left floating around, unanswered, was..."what are these feelings, exactly? If I won't tire of these feelings, how can I explain them?" He was uncertain, obviously. Not another thought uttering at the back of his mind. He pulled away from the daze, and the thoughts, and the feelings, and decided to swiftly get back to work, focused, but still uncertain. 

... 

A cold night. It was still quite cold, the rain pouring still; but mellow and calmer than it was earlier in the day. He walked through it, bearing the drizzle of rain to fall and wet his hair and clothes. He beared it, knowing that a dry towel, fresh clothes and alcohol was waiting for him. That and Gintoki, his main source of company these days. How ironic. A man he sought to avoid at all costs a few months prior was now his "special company" during the days he was off from work or the nights when he would return to either apartment, tired and dying for a good drink-alcohol or tea.

Entering the bright, warm lobby of the apartment building, Hijikata stopped briefly to check his mailbox, among the many others on the wall, displayed in the order of the floors in chronological, traversing from the ground floor to the top floor. After unlocking his personal mailbox, Hijikata took out the few letters stored within and carried them to the stairs, to be opened later. For a moment, he glanced to the side, seeing as an elevator was being constructed in the center of the room, to go up and all the way to the top floor. All Hijikata had to say about that was "good luck". This was an apartment complex with expensive rent. Just the place for an author with more money than he knows how to spend. Of course, considering Hijikata's job, he was able to rent a place too. On the top floor, no less. Hijikata headed up, intending to invite Gintoki over while the China Girl was fast asleep. If only for a few moments...A few moments that would put this long, boring day to an end. 

Eventually, Hijikata reached the top floor and went straight for Gintoki's apartment door. It was nearly nine o'clock at night, he hadn't called ahead. But he had a hunch that Gintoki was prepared to see Hijikata tonight. With a knock of the door, Hijikata waited a few brief sedonds before it opened and that familiar face appeared through the slightly ajar door-as if he was cautious. Upon seeing that it was Hijikata, without either man uttering a single word, Gintoki opened up the door a little more with a smirk across his lips. 

"I had a feeling you'd actually come. Not ready for bed?" Hijikata shook his head to that. "I see. Hey, you're soaked. What did ya do? Walk here in the rain?" 

"Yeah, it's no big deal. If you come over, I can dry off and get a change of clothes". 

"Not gonna take a bath?" 

"I...". 

"Don't be dumb. Do you wanna catch a cold? Take a bath and I'll wait on your sofa with booze and a bad movie at the ready". 

"What do you mean 'a bad movie'?" 

"Something to laugh about, y'know. God knows I need it". 

"Mn...I guess you're right about that. I wouldn't mind seeing a terrible movie, just to make a joke of it". 

"There ya go. Now get your ass inside your place and take your bath. I'll just get the alcohol and the movie". 

"Fine...". 

They separated once again, one door closing while the other opened. Hijikata headed straight to his bedroom to pick up clothes before going to his bathroom to bathe. The boredom was already decreasing from his mind, stress and worry over work growing faint. It hadn't been too long ago since they last saw eachother, but, come to think of it, they had not actually slept together in a while. A few weeks, maybe? Where the hell had the time gone for them to miss out having sex? And, god, did it actually seem normal now? Sex? Between them? What was the point of questioning it or disagreeing with it or resisting the facts? They were used to having sex now, and being intimate in general. Things had gone this far, and it was actually nice. A change of pace and atmosphere among two men who used to hate eachother for simply being an almost-everyday annoyance. Doing these things eased stress and eradicated the boredom of being two total loners with difficult and tiring jobs. Maybe it was only natural, because things like intimacy are nice and make people feel good-most people. So, despite their gender, personalities and original sexuality, this was normal. Yes...This had become normal now...Not completely, but still relatively a normal routine. A routine that wasn't yet dull and didn't drag on like this blasted rain season. 

... 

With a rolled up magazine in hand, Hijikata whacked Gintoki's feet from the coffee table. Gintoki flinched in response, quickly raising his ankles from the dool surface of the table. But he wasn't easily defeated as he gently lowered his feet back down onto the table's surface. 

"Oi! Take your feet off of the table! It's rude, you know". 

"Ah, shut it. I'm comfortable. If ya want, I could just lie on my back with your soft, squishy thighs as a pillow. Would that be better?" 

"Correction on Hijikata's part: this was not normal in a relationship. How could someone be so smug and perverted in the span of a minute? It pissed Hijikata off...It really pissed him off! 

"Fine, keep the table as your footstool". 

"Daw, I kinda wanted your lap more. It's way more comfortable. Soft and warm; my favourite place to take a nap, actually". 

"...! Can we just watch the movie?!" 

"Huu...Fine, fine".

They sat back, silent as the movie continued on. This movie was bad, they could both see that. It was a movie meant for insulting reviews or background noise while people like Gintoki and Hijikata talk over it. 

"Wow, this movie is pretty bad, huh?" 

"Told ya. But it's funny because it's a bad movie. I just watch it for goofs when there's nothing else really going on". 

"We could have watched something better, like a drama or something". 

"Come on, Hijikata. If we did that, we would focus on the movie more than eachother. Isn't that why we arranged this?" 

"...". 

"What's with the silence? Would you rather watch a good movie, keeping our minds off of eachother the whole night?" 

"I never said that, but...you may have a point. Did you plan for us to do anything other than watch a terrible movie?" 

Gintoki shrugged, wearing an innocent facial expression before taking a sip of his drink-a cup of decent sake that would prevent light-weights like them from getting drunk. A little tipsy and disoriented after a few, but never drunk as long as they were careful with the intake. 

"I dunno. Did you wanna do anything?" Gintoki asked, his little façade transparent and not as convincing, as a way of hiding his true intentions, as he thought it would be. 

"Don't play dumb. You just wanna have sex, don't you?" 

"Don't be so blunt! Shameful! I would never...!" 

"Gintoki...". 

"Ever...!" 

"...". 

Hijikata obviously percieved Gintoki's intentions for this "date". And it didn't take long for Gintoki to cave in when his eyes darted back and forth towards Hijikata's piercing gaze. He was a demonic vice chief after all. A demonic police officer and a demonic, plus obviously skilled, interogator. 

"Okay, fine! You got me. I wanted to see if tonight we could maybe...y'know...do the dirty stuff that we used to do". 

"What do you mean? We still have sex". 

"That was weeks ago, and it wasn't dirty. It was nice and clean and feel-good". 

"What's wrong with that?" 

"Nothin' wrong with it. So why are we missing out?" 

"Because of work". 

"Yep, work. And because of work I've been getting impatient. It's natural. Totally natural for a man of my age to still get impatient about sex. So, let's ignore this waste of a movie production and just do it, right now". 

"W-woah! Gintoki! Wait!" 

As Gintoki made an attempt to crawl over and attack directly, Hijikata pushed back and kept Gintoki at a fair distance away. 

"What? Do you hate doing it now?" 

"I-it's not that, moron! I just...I don't want to do it because it feels like we've been missing out or because it's been so long for you. I...". 

"...Oh?" Gintoki then, unexpectedly, backed off and simply kneeled in front of Hijikata with a suggestive look of interest and perversion in his eyes. "If that's the case, then you take the initiative". 

"Huh...?" 

"Get me in the mood show me how you wanna approuch this without force. That is unless you actually wanna go another day, or even a few more weeks of abstinence. Suit yourself" 

"You're the one in abstinence, asshole! A-anyway, I-...". 

"It won't be the first time you've taken the initiative since being on top has made you more confident, hasn't it? So why not test that, since it has been a while". 

"This is just your way of getting me to sleep with you, isn't it?" 

"No...". Gintoki held an impish smirk, the corner of his lips twitching as he tried to hide it-obviously failing at it. "It's a chance for 'us' to sleep together. Get it? I have a feeling that you've kinda missed it too". 

"Uh, I wouldn't necessarily say that". 

"Why not? I thought you enjoyed being intimate with me. I can see it every time we do have sex: your face, your blushing, those cute sounds that come outta your mouth and how dominant or submissive you can be, as if it's at the switch of a button". 

What was with Gintoki and this form of "dirty talk", maybe? He was purposely trying to entice and intrigue Hijikata to sleep together after three weeks of literal abstinence. But was it working? Mm...So-so...Maybe less than that. The fact of the matter was that Hijikata didn't mind going back into their more inimate activities. Actually, he wanted to. He simply didn't know how to feel about Gintoki's "dirty talk". Gintoki reached out, stroking Hijikata's arm tenderly, his face a little closer. 

"All those times that we've done this and that, whether I was on top and you opened up to me in a matter of minutes, just bey letting me see that cute face of yours". 

"Who the hell are you calling cute?" Hijikata asked, genuinely pissed that Gintoki would so casually call him cute now. 

"Or maybe how hot you are when you're on top, messing me up in all sorts of places". 

"...". 

"Then there's afterwards, when we're next to eachother in bed and we talk until we're tired enough to call it a night. How we cuddle up and you secretly give me a kiss on my forehead when you think I'm already asleep". 

"...!" He knew about those?! 

"And what about when-". 

"Okay, okay, I get it". Hijikata took it upon himself to stop Gintoki before he stepped any further over this line known as "shame and subltety". With his cheeks stained beet-red, he spoke quietly, at first. "Yes, I...do en-enjoy those things-but you do, too!" 

"Naturally...". 

"So, since it has been a while...". 

Hijikata paused, moving Gintoki's hand away from his arm, simply to grasp it out of pure hesitation and uncertainty. However, after being in this relationship for these past few months thus far, hesitance and uncertainty were no longer an option before going straight into the intimacy and the fun things about this relationship. Hijikata, incidentally, didn't finish his sentence. Where was the need to do so when they both knew where this conversation was going? For a second or two, they stared at eachother. Although Hijikata's gaze tended to dart a little from the floor below them, to Gintoki's face and then to Gintoki's chest out of embarrassment. He didn't take that single, deep breath to relax himself. No, instead he swallowed those thoughts of having to calm down in the first place and decided to go in for the "kill". It was almost established that he would take the initiative this time, after the last time they had sex when Hijikata was the one on bottoming. That day, three weeks ago, he discovered his weakest postion; doing it from the side. And Gintoki's...had not yet been established. Maybe because it was harder to tell with him, or because he's simply never said. 

Hijikata was the first, swooping in, closing in, on Gintoki. Gintoki made time to lick his lips in preparation, the sweet taste of alcohol pressing against his lips in a second. He barely had time to shut his eyes and fully take it in , thus they remeained open slightly. His vision blurred from the pleasant feelings to tickle at his moist lips and to make his thoughts go numb. He found Hijikata to be quite attractive whenever he was forward in his more intimate actions. This wasn't even an uncommon thing for them to do anymore. It was just a kiss, like the many others they had experienced. 

But, as intended, it was a kiss to delve deeper into. The two men propped themselves up onto their knees, inching closer together as they kissed and indulged. And there would be plenty of that...among other things. The failure of a movie droned on in the background, as well as the drizzling rain outside-falling from darkened skies on a summer's evening. Yes, this was summer alright. And "this" summer would go on until the rain decided to dry up. Boredom erradicated for one more season, replaced by humid air and blazing sunshine in a cloudless sky. But, returning to the disregarded rain and dark skies, Gintoki and Hijikata could feel that they were encouraging that excitement that they "missed out on" a few short weeks. They got rid of their boredom early, replacing it with steamy, intimate fun on Hijikata's bed. Steamy, intimate fun that they both had missed due to the bombardment of work. This...seemed like a good way to put a full stop to that. 

... 

On their backs, side-by-side, exhaustion and heat spread over their bodies. Sweat beads covered Gintoki and Hijikata's skin, their cheeks flushed. It was only during the time they took to catch their breath that their heart rate slowed down to a normal pace. Gradually... 

"Whoah...". Gintoki sighed, running his fingers through his damp bangs of hair. "That was...fun". 

"Yeah...It was...". 

Gintoki turned his head to Hijikata, then turned on his side to face Hijikata in a more comfortable position that stopped the bed from being soaked in more sweat than it already was. He felt slight discomfort, but nothing major as Hijikata had wisely chosen to wear protection, as they had been doing normally. 

"How do you feel? Bet you're on cloud nine right now, huh?" 

"...Sure. I suppose you could put it that way. But not until I've had a cigarette". 

"Aw-c'mon...Are you saying that wasn't enough?" 

"It was plenty, actually. I'm still shaking, honestly. I just need to smoke to calm myself down". 

"You're makin' that up. Geez...at least gimme one". 

"Not a chance". 

"Ah?! Why not?! If you're gonna poison me with second-hand smoke in the first place, then why not just kill me quicker with a cigarette of my own?" 

"Because I know you've worked pretty hard to quit, and I'm not gonna have you disappoint those kids of yours". 

Hijikata said this while turning on his side, reaching into the bedside table for a cigaratte buried within its pack, as well as a lighter.

"Mm...I...I guess you are right about that-but one won't kill me". 

"Gintoki...". 

"Agh, fine! Mr Bossy...". 

Gintoki flopped on his back, arms slipping underneath his head. He pouted quietly to himself, soon inhaling the familiar and satisfying scent of pure, gradual death. Gintoki's gaze shifted, somehow more interesting in Hijikata than before, when he thought he would be more interested in snatching a cigarette. Hijikata was lying on his stomach, cigarette between his lips as he spaced out. The blankets were creased and only covering the bottom half of his waist. His back was exposed, bare and nicely curved. Propped up on one arm, Hijikata took spaced out drahs of his cigarette, his free hand lingering with the nicotine stick of death between his fingers. He was still as handsome as anyone, and Gintoki, could see. Altough, by now, he wasn't just anyone. 

"So...". Hijikata began, tilting his cigarette into the ashtray by hs bed to get rid of the leftover ashes. "Any plans next weekend? I'm sure your work won't give you a break starting Monday". 

"Hah, you got that right. Ahh...I've got nothing planne yet. I might just go drinking with some buddies and relax after handing in my first official draft for the new book. How 'bout you?" 

"Actually, I was going to go to dinner with Kondo-san". 

"Ooh, nice, hot date with the gorilla. How far are you two gonna go? Is he gonne take you back to his enclosure?" 

Ah-what? Haha, that, er...was really bad, you know". 

"Yeah, I know. But it was worth it just to see your face. Well, I hope you two have fun". 

"Yeah, you too. Have fun getting wasted with these buddies of yours". 

"I'll try my damndest". 

It was implied that they wouldn't be seeing eachother for the rest of the week, which was a shame-in all honesty. This night in particular was fun and exciting. A real relief from the previous hours that would haunt Gintoki's memory as the longest day of his life. This was a nice way to end it. On a relaxing, but quite intimate note. Hijikata put out the rest of his cigarette, making sure that it was out completely and safely before leaning towards Gintoki. 

"Ready to sleep? I'm pretty tired, so...". 

"Hm, what happened to just a few moments? Though I guess I'd rather spend the rest of the night here. It's nice...". 

"...I'm surprised even you can say that so openly". 

"What, that I think spending time with an ice-cold guy like you is nice? I think it's natural to be so open, don't you, Hijikata-kun~?" 

"Yeah, perhaps spending time with such a brazen guy like you isn't so bad either. Now, let's get to sleep". 

"Alright...". 

The lamps by the bed were swiftly turned off, the whole room plunged into darkness. Gintoki froze momentarily as Hijikata's strong arms wrapped around him securely. There was silence. All was silent aside from their soft breathing and the pitter-patter of the rain outside. Their bodies were still warm, huddled together under soft blankets once the silence had settled too. Just silence. Gintoki was awake, a feeling of unease drifting through his thoughts as he waited for sleep to catch up to him. And then, not too long after this thought entered his mind... 

"Haa..mn...". 

He felt the soft pressure of Hijikata's lips on his forehead. He didn't react, but simply shut his eyes and accepted the action with a quiet sigh. Even with the smallest things, there was never a dull moment, was there? Not only when it involved Hijikata. That was whwt came into Gintoki's head. Just then, before he let sleep drift in gradually and peacefully...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was supposed to be a nice, chill chapter but instead I updated it a day late-again. Haaa...I try. Believe me. I try. And, no, I'm not gonna be explicit all the time. Maybe I will soon. Maybe Hijikata will bottom. Who knows. I should. I'm the author. Hope you all enjoyed. This wasn't anything huge or super exciting. Just a sit back and chill kind of chapter.


	17. Bonds That Will Never Succeed To Break

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More chapters~. More Ginhiji fun~...Yes. I love writing this. I do. :3 Haa, and now we're back again. I'm back. Let's get going.

If it had to be anywhere else, it was a place like this. A mellow scene of a ramen shop, situated in a quiet part of Tokyo. Only recently had this scene become a frequent place for people to visit and indulge in the small, but qualitative, selection of ramen on the menu. Odd how it was a frequent place for these visitors during the rain season. Perhaps because, on a miserable day like that day in particular, ramen was immediatly a comfort food in people's eyes. But this place? Very mellow, very comfortable, very qualitative. But not at all fancy or expensive. This place was quiet enough to sit back and relax without being disturbed, but lively enough to be considered fun in the minds of the few regulars and some one-off visitors.

Within this little ramen shop, during another miserable weekend, was Hijikata and Kondo. They sat in the corner of this little shop, the owner adjusting her ponytail as she made her way behind the bar to fufill yet another order after only just placing down two servings of sake. This, to the two men who sat themselves at the corner of the little ramen shop, drinking their sake, felt almost new. Not nostalgic. They had never really done this sort of thing before. At least, not very often. It had, in fact, felt like years since Kondo and Hijikata were alone outside of work, doing something that friends do. The contradiction in that thought was a confusing one. This was new, yet it had felt like they had not been like this in years. Like when you meet a childhood friend for the first time in years and you end up spending some quality time together, catching up and drinking because it's now legal for the both of you to do so. Yes, that was as accurate of a description for this situation. 

Taking a sip of their drinks, Kondo was the one to sigh in relief-a sigh that indicated that he hadn't experienced a proper drink of sake in a long time. 

"Whew...It's been a while since I've had a proper drink". Seriously? "Can't be helped, though. Work keeps us busy. Right, Toshi?" 

"Yeah, that's true. Although...I've honestly had the occassional drink recently. Nothing for a special occassion, just...". 

Kondo arched his eyebrow, noticing the look on Hijikata's face. Seeing that look brought a grin to Kondo's face, and forced his hand to give Hijikata a pat on the back. 

"Lemme guess...you've been having those drinks with Gin-san, haven't ya?" 

"Uh! Kondo-san, come on...I thought we weren't gonna discuss it tonight". 

"Yeah, I know. But there's no need for you to be shy. After all, the few times you have talked about it, I see how excited you get. It's incredible". 

"...". Did Hijikata really get excited talking about it? 

Kondo hadn't found out about Hijikata's relationship with Gintoki too long ago. In fact it was fairly recent. Ever since that day, Kondo had been nothing but supportive and would sometimes just sit back and listen to Hijikata ramble on carelessly about his relationship-no matter how vague some of his feelings were conveyed. Hijikata would obviously feel withdrawn and bashful about confiding these feeling towards a man that had been a good friend of Hijikata's for several years-a decade. They rarely discussed the topic of relationships and women, excluding the topic of that girl, Otae Shimura. That was always a one-sided conversation, anyway. This was the first time Hijikata talked about his relationship with a well-known friend. This was the first relationship he'd ever had, though. And he was glad to have told his well-known friend about it. 

"Haha, I see how bashful you've become just from talking about it". 

"I-I'm not bashful...". 

"Hmhm, like I haven't heard that one before, Toshi". 

"Now, why don't we drink and relax for once? Being outside of work is a nice change, after all". 

"Yeah, it is. But the next thing you know, I'll be dying to go back and get my work finished". 

"Hahaha, ahh...quite the workaholic, aren't ya?" 

"Something like that. Although I enjoy times just like this, I end up thinking about work and I stress over our subordinates-wonder if they're doing a good job-y'know...". 

"I'm positive they are. Just take your mind off of it, even for a little bit, while maintaining some belief that Tokyo is safe in their hands. Besides, old man Matsudaira is making sure they're motivated enough to ensure that safety". 

"By whippin' them into shape, most likely". Hijikata's mutter almost fell on deaf ears as he sipped his drink. 

That old man was certainly capable of preventing those men from slacking off on the job when they should be keeping Tokyo safe. Hell, he left quite the scar on the original members of the "Shinsengumi"; including Kondo, Hijikata and Okita. Because of that scar, the Tokyo police department was a force to be reckoned with. Especially with the "Demonic Vice-Chief" and an adolescent sadist at hand. When saying that, they sounded more like bandits or criminals rather than the police. Maybe that's partially the reason why they had a reputation with many ups and downs. At that thought alone, Hijikata was encouraged to take another sip of his drink--more like a gulp--in order to quickly take his mind off work, as Kondo had advised. 

On the other side of the store, entered three men who were fairly comfortable in this place. To them, it was a familiar spot that all three of them didn't visit often. Not together, anyway. The woman behind the bar, Ikumatsu, looked to the door as the chimes above it rang out towards her. She placed her hands on her hips, recognising at least two of them with an expression that read, "these guys...oh, brother". The context ih her expression was not insulting or sullen; but stultified as two of the men were familiar faces whom were troublesome, but not irritating. 

"Katsura, Gin-san...Haven't seen you two in a while, not to mention as a pair". 

"Hello to you too, Ms. Ikumatsu". Gintoki greeted. "Still single?" 

"That's none of your business, moron! And what kinda greeting is that?!" 

"Ikumatsu, may we get a table?" Katsura was the one to ask, calming the situation quickly, before Gintoki was served laxatives in his ramen. Or perhaps a simple punch to the face would suffice. 

Ikumatsu sighed, walking out from the bar--picking up three menus--on the way. 

"Hey, Kintoki, Zura, I thought we were goin' to a club to get drinks? Or did I mishear you guys?" 

"Tatsuma, we said nothing about a club. We specifically said that we were going to get ramen and drinks at Ikumatsu's. And it's not Zura, it's Katsura. Why does everyone call me by the wrong name? Such a pain...". 

"That's because you're Zura, Zura". Gintoki replied, taking the lead towards a free table--that Ikumatsu led them to. 

"As I said, it's not Zura, it's-...?!" 

It...all happened so fast; for Gintoki, at least. All of a sudden, in the middle of his sentence, Katsura pulled Gintoki into their booth and kept his head low while also looking over his shoulder. Sakamoto, their plus-one, and the guy who they were dragging home from being in a drunken state, slipped into the booth, puzzled by their weird behaviour. No surprise. It was pretty out of the blue, even for Sakamoto. 

"Uh, what are you guys doing?" Ikumatsu questioned, just as puzzled. 

"Yeah! What the hell, Zura-". 

"Sshhh!" Katsura hushed Gintoki, looking over his shoulder once more. "Didn't you see, Gintoki? Over there...there's...two of those-...those government dogs-the Shinsengumi. And it's their main spear-heads to boot!" 

Spear-heads? Without looking, Gintoki knew almost immediatly who Katsura was talking about. The gorilla and Hijikata. Damn...Hijikata did say that he and the gorilla were going to go drinking, but why did it have to be here of all places? This was...awkward. Why? Katsura, for as long as Gintoki remembered, hated the cops just as much as their former friend, Takasugi, did. To this day, he held a grudge against the government and their "police dogs" for...personal reasons. This was also awkward because Gintoki was dating one of those spear-heads without Katsura's knowledge. Brilliant. What a horrific and painful coincedence for Gintoki. Back then, when his lips were connected with one of those "government dogs", he didn't think for a sedond about Katsura's hatred for them. He didn't think, in the heat of the moment--with alcohol running through his system like a giddly little stream--"hm, I suppose Zura would hate me for intensely kissing this guy whom we both hate. He would hate it. He would hate me. I would hate myself. I sure as hell would". No. No, he wouldn't hate himself. Sure, back then, he felt the crushing reality that he kissed another guy with as much shame as a pig rolling around in its own shit, but would later get used to this shameless feeling and even begin to find pleasure in it. Immense pleasure that he hadn't experienced since last year's award ceremony (a story for another time). 

His point was, that with all these new, exciting, but somewhat selfish, experiences coming his way, he didn't think about Katsura. Who would when you're underneath another guy, receiving your "first time"? Who would even fathom that your long-time friend hated this guy just as much as you used to? Why the hell would and image of this guy even come to mind when experiencing the thrill and bombardment of pleasure in totally foreign places and positions? All these rhetorical questioned whizzed by Gintoki's mind, unanswered. He feared that thinking about it too much would give him goosebumps, an incurable headache-or worse, the image of Zura with a bowl of ramen in one hand and his weird love interest, Elizebeth, in the other as he awkwardly shook his head in disapproval of Gintoki's actions. If that image ever popped up in Gintoki's head while having sex with Hijikata, he would immediatly hold back any need for release and simply wallow in a bad mixture of unnecessary guilt and goosebumps. Yes...that's exactly how he imagined in. Why the ramen and and Elizebeth, though? That he, himself, could not comprehend. Was Gintoki really a best-selling author? 

"Look, Katsura, I doubt they'll see you, or care if you're here. So...I think you can relax". Ikumatsu crossed her arms, reassuring Katsura to the best of her ability. He settled down, also crossing his arms in acceptance of her words. 

"Alright...As long as we're at arm's length, there won't be a problem". 

"Good...". Ikumatsu left it at that, wisely, as she took out her little notepad and pencil that was only half of what it used to be. "So, what can I get you guys?" She asked, prepared to take their orders.

"Soba, please...". Karsura simply said, forcing himself to pay very little attention towards Kondo and Hijikata, at the corner of the room. They certainly weren't paying attention to him. 

"Again? Alright...Gin-san?" 

"...Huh? What...?" 

"Were you not listening? Geez...my husband was a better listener than you guys combined". 

It was true that Gintoki wasn't listening. In fact, his curiosity led his attention elsewhere. More accurately, the corner of the shop where his "cuddle-buddy" was drinking with his boss. Just five seconds prior to Ikumatsu's voice shattering his thoughts of "what are they so giddy for? Bastards...". And this sounded like jealously, considering how Hijikata was so unguarded-smiling and even laughing as he received pats on the back and even a ruffle of his hair from a man-child that belong in a zoo, or the amazon rainforest. No, this was not jealousy. Gintoki believed that he didn't get jealous. That he was never jealous of anyone. His justification for thinking this, and believing it, was because he had never felt jealousy before. Never had he experienced the boiling of his blood and the anger that he wasn't in the position to ruffle his "cuddle-buddy's" hair and touch him so casually. If he did, he would probably get stabbed. The truth, however, was that he wouldn't. After "casually" touching Hijikata-kissing him, cuddling with him, intercourse, the works-there was nothing to say that he would get yelled at for simply touching Hijikata in a mundane place, such as his back. Maybe this was jealousy. Maybe Gintoki wanted to replace that gorilla immediatly. He felt that his actions, although similar to Kondo's, would receive an entirely different reaction... 

("Kondo-san, come on...you're embarrassig me"). And then there was...("G-Gintoki! Don't touch me so casually! Baka!") 

Something along those lines... 

"Oi, Gin-san! I've got other customers, ya know!" 

"Alright, alright. Hold your freakin' horses. Just gimme a...udon, with Honjozo sake. Ya know, something sweet". 

"O-kay...and what about your friend here?" 

"Ah...the name's Tatsuma Sakamoto. Did anyone ever tell ya how endearing you look in those work overalls?" 

"No, but thanks anyway". Brushing off such a..."compliment" so easily without hitting him. Was Gintoki the only one who would be threated by this woman? Perhaps that was due to her single life. A sensitive subject, especially if Katsura was mentioned in between. "What can I get ya?" 

"I'll also have an udon, Mrs...?" 

"Just Ms, if you don't mind". 

"Oh, so you're single? Well then, if that's the case, how about you and I-kghk!" 

As if on relfex, Ikumatsu swiftly, and painfully, thrust her fist against Sakamoto's jaw. Blood sputtered from his mouth and nose, his trademark glasses undamaged for once. Usually women end up smashing them to pieces, as well as his offer to buy them drinks or dinner...or an engagement ring. Sakamoto fell back, his head falling back lifelessly as he laughed like the moron he was. 

"Hahaha...I'll, er...take that as a maybe? Ahahaha!" 

"Is this guy for real?!" Ikumatsu questioned, irritated by how giddy Sakamoto was after receiving such a hard blow to his jaw. 

"Ignore him. He has trouble taking a hint from the charming young ladies he "flirts" with. Believe me, you're not the first but I'll still apologise for him. So, sorry, Ikumatsu". 

Both Ikumatsu and Gintoki were stunned by Katsura's words. They didn't say a word, but they both thought it. "Did Katsura just lace a line within his sincere apology for Sakamoto's behaviour?" And it was thought that Katsura was gay, or at least bisexual, this whole time. 

"Uh, anyway...". Ikumatsu continued, maintaining her composure with a clear of the throat. "I'll be right back with your orders. Um, does your..."friend" want a drink?" 

"Something strong". Gintoki suggested, leaning back in his chair comfortably. Ikumatsu gave a nod before returning to her post. Gintoki smirked, seeing as Ikumatsu had gone behind the bar, nudging Katsura with his elbow. "So, what was that about? You showing that "charming young lady" how much of a "charming young gentleman" you are, Zura?" 

"I don't know what you're talking about". Katsura recoiled, casual and not at all distressed by Gintoki's suggestive words, and that suggestive smirk on his face with a suggestive nudge of his elbow. 

"Ah, c'mon...Clearly you're showing interest in a girl-for once". 

"Again, no idea what you're talking about. I've shown interest in women before". 

"Name one". 

"Elizebeth...". 

"Yeah~...Not...N-not a woman, I think. More like a...uh...erm, Tatsuma, help me out here". 

"A thing? Haha...". 

"Yeah, exactly. A thing...". 

"Is that how you see my dear Elizebeth?!" 

"Look, Zura...". 

"Katsura...". 

"Zura...Maybe you should pay less attention to Elizebeth, and more towards a person. A real life person. Someone like Ikumatsu, or anyone else who is not Elizebeth. Okay?"

"You say that as if I'm in a relationship with a body pillow or something. Besides, Elizebeth and I are just dear friends, someone whom I've shown interest in". 

"Eh...?" 

"And I've been interested in other women before. For instance, back in high school, I knew quite a few young women who I became friends with". 

"Uh...Zura...I don't think we're talking about the same kind of "interest". I mean...I'm talking about an attraction towards women. Y'know: romantically, sexually...". 

"Oh, that's what you meant by interest". 

"What else could I mean?! God damn...". 

"Sorry, I just don't look at women that way". 

"So are you gay, or what?" It was blunt, straight-forward, and just like Gintoki to quickly stop beating around the bush. To this, Katsura had a more defensive attitude. 

"What-...No! Nothing like that! Gintoki, I...I'm not...Honestly...". 

"You know, I suspected something back in high school-when you were around Takasugi, but I would never have assumed...". 

"What does Takasugi have to do with it?!" 

"Hey, Kintoki...". Sakamoto muttered, seemingly coming out of his daze after getting knocked out. "Why are you badgering Zura so much? If he says he doesn't like guys, he doesn't like guys". 

"Thank you, Tatsuma". 

"He's probably just a little shy around the ladies. I mean, when we were younger, he used to get along quite well with the young women in Osaka. Remember? In fact, Kintoki, I saw you hang around more men than women, if I recall. Hahaha". 

"Psh, and what? The only reason I was around more men was because I was drinking with the lonely saps in our group. You were busy getting knocked out by varies women, Zura was drinking with men and women, and Takasugi was the one being flirted with-not the other way around. As I recall, the nights we did go to some bar or club, I would end up with a pretty girl by midnight anyway. So don't go around putting labels on me when you don't know the facts". 

"Mm, I suppose you're right. Kintoki's as straight as they come". 

"Damn right. As straight as they-...!" 

Just as Gintoki inclined in his seat, hands behind his head, a thought sparked within that brain of his that set off more sparks and brought him back to reality. "As straight...as they come"? Moments ago he was getting jealous over another guy and wondered how Katsura would feel if he found out that Gintoki was dating one of Katsura's worst one-sided enemies. He had no right to suspect Zura and put a label on him, did he? No right whatsoever. The fact that, as of recently, Gintoki seemed to be more homosexual than Katsura was almost outrageous in Gintoki's eyes. And not in a sense of behaviour or attitude, more like the act of having an intimate relationship with another guy-including sex. No, especially sex. Gintoki cleared his throat, his mind boggled on what to say next. But, lucky for him, Tatsuma and Katsura had moved away from that conversation and drifted onto a new one. 

Ikumatsu made her way past the customers, dropping off orders and servings of booze on her way to their table. She set down their drinks, informing them that their meals would be ready shortly before she left again. Gintoki poured himself a drink, holding the small cup to his lips before his attention drifted back to Hijikata and Kondo. They appeared to be having a more serious conversation, a faint smile on Hijikata's lips as he confided his biggest worries and concerns to his old friend, conveying his feelings of good times and bad times between them that made the vast majority of his memories. That smile...Gintoki had seen it too. He knew that Hijikata was letting out his feelings with such a light-hearted smile on his face. Had Hijikata ever smiled like that before he started dating Gintoki? Probably, right? Was this...This feeling was also jealousy, wasn't it? Somehow, even when he had never experienced such a feeling before, he almost immedialy recognised it. This was it. The boling of the blood and this feeling of wanting to be beside the person you're dating instead of that other person. That other person whom made Hijikata smile like that. With a sigh, Gintoki turned back to his little group, taking his first drink of the night in the hopes to rid himself of this shitty feeling at the pit of his stomach. It really was...shitty. 

... 

Ikumatsu was the one to open the front door, a shop that was slowly becoming more empty as the night came to a close. She held the door wide open so that Gintoki and Katsura could drag Sakamoto's drunk ass out of there. Luckily, the rain had died down for the night. To get soaked while carrying Sakamoto would mean that someone up there, somewhere, hated all three of them. Sakamoto was drunk, Gintoki was a little tipsy, and Katsura was totally fine-being the one to have one drink and nothing else. Sakamoto was giddy, giggling and hiccuping in his drunken state. For some reason, it pissed off a tipsy Gintoki. 

"Haha...Mutsu~. Where's Mutsu~~? *hic*...Mutsu...". Sakamoto muttered and slurred his words, chuckling and making a complete ass of himself. 

"I really feel bad for that woman". Katsura uttered. "I can't believe she has to put up with you, even outside of work". 

"Yeah~, what is she, your Mom?" Gintoki added to this, although his current state caused a lack of intimidation or authority in his tone. "God damn...Zura, why don't we call this moron's subordinate and have her pick him up?" 

"Wouldn't that just cause trouble for Mutsu-san, though? I'll just call a cab instead, send this guy back to his house". 

"Aww~, but I wanted to hang out with you guys more~. Just a few more drinks...C'mon~". Sakamoto was on the brink of passing out, creating more unnecessary baggage for Gintoki and Katsura. 

"No, we're getting you into a cab. Mm...Gintoki, could you reach into my pocket and grab my cellphone? My hands are kinda full here". 

"What makes ya think I can reach? And I'd rather put my hand into a toilet than reach into another guy's pockets". 

"It's just my back pocket! Besides, you can reach it if you just-". 

"Nope! Bad touch! Badtouchbadtouchbadtouch! I already spent over three years of my life handling laundry belonging to you and Takasugi, I don't need to experience similar trauma". 

"Are you an idiot? It's literally just the back pocket of my pants, where my cellphone is. So could you stop stalling and just grab it?" 

"Fine! Geez...". Gintoki reached over to Katsura, although leaving him to handle Sakamoto on his own. If Katsura let go, there was a good chance that Sakamoto's body would go limp and he would crack his skull on the pavement, no matter how thick-headed he was. 

After quickly reaching for Katsura's phone, he pulled out the device and flipped it open as he tried to quickly forget that traumatic incident. 

"Okay...I'm calling a taxi company right now to pick this idiot up". 

Gintoki dialed the only taxi number he had memorised. With the phone call and the long wait, Gintoki could feel his muscles tense up and coil up in pain. He was twenty-seven years old and, by his back and shoulder pain, already felt like an old geezer crossing the street for the first time since he became a geezer. It was pure relief to see the cab drive up the road, towards them, headlights blazing their way. Now there was the matter of dumping Sakamoto in the back passanger seats, leaving him to make his way home and pay the man who had the privilege of listening to a drunk idiot rant on. 

"Bye you guys~-*hic*...guys...this was fun, so let's do it again-and bring Takasugi-shi next time!" Sakamoto called out to them as the cab drove off, his goofy and moronic face practically pressing into the glass of the window. 

Gintoki and Katsura watched the car go. Gintoki was flustered from intoxication, exhaustion and an aching back that he didn't remember asking for. Katsura, on the other hand, was just tired and only a little sore. Since when did he work out more than Gintoki? The guy was a fucking shut-in! 

"Haah, well, that was an exhausting experience". Katsura muttered, beginning to walk down the street with Gintoki at his side, going at his own pace. 

"Easy for you to say. If I had to guess, you must carry his sorry ass more times than I go to the gym". 

"Hah, you would think so, wouldn't you? No, this has been a rarity...going out like this, all...three of us". Katsura, upon uttering those sullen words, wore a dour expression. He hesitated to state that there were only three of them now, in this small group of friends that-for most of their lives-only had eachother. Those were Katsura's thoughts, though. Not Gintoki's. 

"Hey, Zura, maybe you should try to-". 

"No...". Katsura replied in a firm, almost irritated, tone of voice that struck Gintoki like a whip. "Don't tell me to try and let go of the past, Gintoki. I won't. I...I refuse". 

"...Fine". Was there any use arguing? "Do what you like. That's our "creed" after all; what we were taught all those years ago. We live by our own rules and go down our own path, no matter where it leads-whether we are conscious of our destination or not". There was no use in it, no outcome befitting to them both. What Gintoki said was not an order, but...simple advise. "But, what I'm telling you is for your own safety. I don't wanna see you change, like he did. We can choose our own paths, but to follow that with pointless hatred...That's not...what Sensei taught us, is it". 

The two men slowed down, and soon stopped at the center of the pavement. Katsura looked up at Gintoki, a faint smile drifting onto his lips. He wasn't angry with Gintoki's advise. He wasn't angry at all-unlike a certain individual would be. Katsura wouldn't change. Not him... 

"I know he didn't". Katsura muttered, calm and collected as ever. "Thank you, Gintoki, but I'm not following a path of hatred like Takasugi. I'm following my beliefs; that's all". 

"Good. 'Cause, if you were to change, you'd bet your ass I'd be the first to beat the shit outta you. Got it? I wouldn't hold back". 

"Don't worry; I don't plan to change. After all, I'm our "leader". That's what we all agreed, remember?" 

"Oh, yeah. You did always suit the position of leader, being extremely bossy and all. That, and an emotional sap". 

"Hey, I am not emotional or a sap". 

"Oh, please...Weren't you the one who cried watching "Clannad"?" 

"I don't get why they can't find happiness! It's just so sad!" 

"Yeah, yeah, whatever you say, Zura". 

Gintoki gave Katsura an indifferent pat to the back as he wallowed in sorrow from the latest chapter of his sob story book. But, even so, Gintoki could roll his eyes with at least a little smile. Why test Katsura on whether he would change or not? This guy wasn't going to change. Not a chance. He may have held onto his past beliefs, clutching them without any intent to let go, but he wasn't the type to go blind with it. He really was a leader, of sorts...Gintoki was one to follow his own path, and stray far away from everyone else. But no matter how far he strayed, there were those who kept an eye on him while walkig their own line. People who would drag him from the wrong path, if need be. Katsura was certainly one of them. 

... 

... 

A long groan escaped Gintoki, his eyes heavy with sleep and his back still aching from the previous night. He flopped onto his back, unintentionally, but still hoped that lying flat on his back and stretching would cure this pain and discomfort. He reached both of his arms up above his head, arching his back as much as he could for some sort of release in his back muscles. However, not much came of it aside from a few cracks of his bones. He flooped back into a sprawled out position, only just feeling a slight breeze after realising that he went to bed in his underwear instead of slipping on loose clothing. It's not like Hijikata spent the night, so what the fuck was he thinking? Sleeping in his underwear like a teenage boy? 

"Agh...Fuck...this...". He grumbled, his whole body feelig just as half-asleep as he was. 

With some form of strength, Gintoki pulled one of his hands up to rub his eyes-with full intent to wash his face as soon as possible. He turned on his side, although reluctant to do so-being the lazy, good-for-nothig bastard he was. He acknowledged this fact long ago, so no offense taken. Gintoki's head fell right back into the comfort of his pillow as he took a grasp of his watch from the bedside table. [7.31]-No, wait...[7.32]. Gintoki huffed, knowing that he had to get up. He had to get up now, head into the office and hand in a draft or two of his new novel. Only a few chapters in, so it wasn't going to be published just yet. Despite feeling groggy and overpowered with sleep deprivation-whether it was a Monday or not-Gintoki got himself up. The matress creaked underneath him as he made his best effort to get up from his bed quickly, as a way to keep himself from going back to sleep in a matter of seconds. His bed sheets and covers were left in a state as he headed for his bathroom, scratching his side and within his messy hair to relieve any irritation. A yawn forced itself out from Gintoki's system, his eyes watering a little. The times that he-that anyone-has woken up in such a state is countless. 

Gintoki opened up the cabinet above the sink, taking out his razor for shaving. Groggy and disoriented, he wondered if shaving right now was a good idea. If he was in this state, wouldn't shaving be a little dangerous? Wouldn't Gin-san accidentally cut himself on a sharp razor? Pushing the cabinet door closed slightly, leaving it ajar, Gintoki reflected on his current appearance through the door's mirror. A few stubbles, tired eyes, messy hair, late-twenties. Is this the face Hijikata would see some mornings? No, there was doubt there. The mornings they woke up together, whether they slept together the night before or not, Gintoki felt refreshed and only a little groggy from sleep. Waking up was less of a chore. To go back a step and feel like this, waking up alone in a double bed, wondering if he was going to cut himself while shaving...It felt like things were back to normal, almost as if he was single. In Gintoki's mind, there was no use adding an "again" after "single". Gintoki had never been in a real relationship, so technically he had always been single. He had never run out of condoms, like today. 

His thoughts had drifted, his concentration on his current task had also drifted. When his focus came back, Gintoki had woken up a little from his day-dream. If he had spaced out any longer, he might have fallen asleep. But as he had woken up, after thinking of his mornings with Hijikata and the refreshing feeling that came with it, the image came back to Gintoki all of a sudden. That and the memories of the previous night.

("After all, I'm our "leader"...I'm not following a path of hatred like Takasugi"). 

The words echoed in Gintoki's head, and then came that face of disapproval and disappointment. How would Zura feel if he knew about those morning? The refreshing feeling that Zura was unaware of? These feelings in general? Gintoki's actions? 

("We live by our own rules and go down our own paths-no matter where it leads...") 

That's what Gintoki said. That's what he said, what he lived by. He felt no guilt for choosing to date Hijikata. It was a choice he made, a choice with a few consequences considering Gintoki's thoughts of Hijikata, what he could end up being attracted to, how their relationship would actually work, what Kagura and Shinpachi would think, and then what everyone else would think if they knew; in that exact order. To dwell on such things and to be afraid of what a close friend would feel did not cross Gintoki's mind. It wasn't necessarily selfish, it just showed that he was an adult who made such lifestyle choices and stuck by them. Would dating Hijikata, a cop whom Katsura despised, potentially ruin his close connection with him? The answer was...yes, this was a possibility, unless Katsura could be an adult about it too and accept that Gintoki had indeed traversed down his own path. And they were both adults now. 

So then came the next question..."Should Gintoki tell Zura?", out of trust and the fact that they held such a connection since they were children? With razor in hand, Gintoki pondered the question quietly to himself. Then, seconds later, grumbled and reached for his shaving cream before shutting the cabinet door. It was too early to be thinking about this. If he thought about it more during the day, he would just have to cross that bridge when he came to it. But now that the thought was in his head, it would be extrememly difficult to get rid of it. 

... 

When Gintoki finally exited his bedroom, dressed and ready to begin another mundane day, his eye immedialy caught Kagura as she swiped a piece of toast from its plate-the metal of a butter knife clanking against the table as she dashed towards the front door. With school bag in hand, piece of toast clenched between her teeth, she grabbed her umbrella and exited even without a quick goodbye to Gintoki. He couldn't argue or be angry about it. He, too, had been in a similar situation of having to rush out of the door with a piece of toast in his mouth. So, he simply shrugged it off and assumed she would forget about the inident an hour later. He stretched up once more, his back still aching with strain and cramped muscles. It provoked a pained groan from him. Damn Tatsuma for being so heavy, and drunk. 

A brief walk to the kitchen, and Gintoki met with Sadaharu as he munched down on his own food. Kagura must have prioritised his breakfast before her own, considering how much she slept in on a school day. Gintoki planned to purchase something while he was out, so his short journey to the kitchen was to clean up the mess that Kagura made; a plate covered in toast crumbs and a butter knife with a spread of jam-as well as the jar. It wasn't as if it would clean itself up. What a pain in the ass...Already the morning was a pain in the ass... 

... 

Adjusting his work bag on his aching shoulder, Gintoki headed out of the apartment building. The rain drizzled above him, beads of rainwater tapping against his shoulder and into his hair until he pulled up his own umbrella. Not long until the rain season was over. Not long until Tokyo was shrouded in blistering heat. Not long until Gintoki would be forced to stay at home in his underwear, even with air conditioning. The sky was gloomy and dull, this pain digging into Gintoki's back and shoulders relentlessly. He rubbed a spot underneath one of his eyes, dragging the leftover sand from the corners. He lacked energy, and was walking with an empty stomach. He had a deadline to meet, but not for another few hours. There was a coffee place not to far from this block-a place that Gintoki had visited with Hijikata a few times on one or two of their more laid-back dates. But, honestly, most of their dates were laid-back. A coffee place, the movies, dinner at an informal, but good, restaurant, a night spent in front of the T.V watching shows or movies with alcohol and then sex-to put it bluntly. To go somewhere more formal was better suited to a different couple, or if they intended to celebrate an anniversary. "Here's to the day when we first made out under the influence", or, "here's to a whole year of laid-back dates and sex, with a side of opening up and heart-to-heart chats that we wouldn't have if we didn't start dating". 

Gintoki's stomach growled, placing his mind elsewhere in an instant. He sighed, the thought of breakfast muffins and a strawberry milk floating in his head endlessly-the craving strong and endless unless he headed for that coffee place immediatly. Plus it would give him an excuse to drop by and see Hijikata, if he bought two muffins and gave it to Hijikata while on a break. He could ask about the situation with Zura, this thought in his mind that told him to inform Katsurs of his new relationship or not. He would have liked Hijikata's opinion and an official blessing so that Gintoki wasn't blurting our the details of their relationship to just anyone. Although he had a strong suspcion that Hijikata would be totally fine with it. 

... 

Licking the leftover crumbs from the corner of his lips, Gintoki made the journey to the police station to see if Hijikata was around. If not, it couldn't hurt to give him the gesture of a breakfast muffin later on, hours after breakfast had finished. It was the thought that counts, anyway. But, by sheer luck and good timing, Hijikata stood outside of the main building to smoke. He was alone, unguarded, and unexpecting of Gintoki to appear before him with his favourite kind of muffin in his hand. As Gintoki approuched, Hijikata's steel, cold gaze shifted from the sight of the gloomy sky to Gintoki as he came forward and lowered his umbrella. Gintoki took shelter under the same overhang, presenting a casual smile to greet Hijikata. 

"Hey, Mr Policeman". Was his first choice of words. "Takin' a break from protecting our streets?" 

Hijikata blew out a cloud of smoke, flicking away the ash from his cigarette before replying. 

"What are you doing here? Don't you have a manuscript to hand in today?" 

"Yeah, but I held it off for an hour or two so I could stop by and give you a little gift". 

"A gift? You okay? Feeling dizzy or anything?" Hijikata placed his hand over Gintoki's forehead. It was a joke, yet his expression remained straight. Gintoki pushed Hijikata's hand away. 

"Shut up. Can't a guy be nice for once? Man, you're pretty rude-and I thought you would be a little more grateful. I was just thinking of doing something nice then you go and-". 

"What did you get for me?" 

Defeated and annoyed by Hijikata's lack of appreciation, Gintoki reached into his work bag and pulled out a small paper bag that once held his own jam muffin and strawberry milk. He took from it anotyer muffin, covered in transparent, plastic foil. He offered it to Hijikata, although his expression presented his unwillingness to hand it over after such rude words. 

"It's raspberry jam with some blueberrys mixed in. Your favourite, as I recall". 

At this, Hijikata smirked and took the muffin with an eventual expression of appreciation. 

"I prefer strawberry jam and mayo, but thanks anyway". 

"Oi, it's the thought that counts. And I'm not gonna ask a poor store clerk to put mayonnaise in a fuckin' muffin. They'd never let me back in the store". 

"I know, I know". 

"You gonna thank me?" 

"I already did". 

"I didn't hear it. Must be because I was focusing on the deep furrow in your brow". 

"Why would you focus on something like that?! I already thanked you, dick!' 

"You're a dick!" 

This would lead to back and forth banter, so it was good timing that the front door of the station opened and a familiar voice came through in the heat of the moment. 

"Hey, Toshi, is it alright if I-...". 

Heads turned towards the new arrival, and two different reactions appeared clearly on their faces. 

"Oh, Kondo-san". Hijikata greeted his boss, dropping his cigarette on the damp pavement before crushing it under his foot. "Is something up?" 

Gintoki switched his gaze towards the distance, scratching his cheek as a look of momentary disdain crossed his face. 

"Uh...". Kondo hesitated at Hijikata's question, seeing Gintoki with him currently. "Y-you know what, I'll tell ya later. I'll leave you two alone, if I'm interupting anything". 

"Well, actually-". 

"Yeah, you are kinda interupting". Gintoki answered, the disdain only showing in more features such as his tone of voice and general attitude towards Kondo. 

"Gintoki...!" Hijikata turned to Gintoki, scolding him with his piercing gaze. "Haa, sorry, Kondo-san. No, you're not interupting anything. What is it you wanted to talk about?"

"No, no, I can clearly see that I'm intruding. Just come inside when you're ready to speak to me, 'cause we have some important case files to go over". 

"Alright, then. Gimme two minutes and I'll be right there". 

Kondo gave a nod, heading back into the station with a smile. When it was just the two of them, Hijikata turned to Gintoki once more-angered by his behaviour. 

"Do you mind telling me what that was about?" Despite his anger, Hijikata was calm towards Gintoki. Despite his short temper with him, Hijikata didn't want to start yelling at Gintoki without good reason 

"Nothin'. What are you talking about?" 

"Don't play dumb. That, back there. Why were you rude to Kondo-san just then? Do you have a problem with him or something?" 

"No, there's no problem. I just hate it when people interupt conversations, that's all". 

"...You're acting weirdly. Gintoki, why don't you just come out and say it instead of beating around the bush? That's not like you at all, to be vague and avoid the subject. So, if something's wrong...". 

"Nothing's wrong. God...Aren't you persistent". 

"By your attitude and this sudden defense you've put up, I'd have to say it is something to do with Kondo-san. Are you jealous of him or something?" 

"What? No...Look, I just came here to say hi and drop off a muffin that I bought specially for you. Now, I'm sure we both have to get back to work. If you'll excuse me". 

"You're jealous, aren't you? Kondo did say that you were at the same ramen place last night, glancing our way and even glaring. And now this...You are so jealous". 

"Look, I'm not...! I'm not jealous. I don't get jealous, especially over a gorilla like him. Now, if you'll excuse me, I've gotta get to work and hand in this manuscript". 

As Gintoki inched further away from the overhang and away from Hijikata, he was to be pulled back underneath it by his wrist. 

"We're not done". Hijikata simply said, gripping onto Gintoki's wrist tightly. "I just want to say that we can discuss it later tonight, when my shift is over". 

"What is there to discuss? Or, what, you want me to admit to something like jealousy for your own sick enjoyment? Well, that ain't gonna happen, because I'm not jealous!" 

Gintoki swatted his wrist out of Hijikata's grasp, continuing down the street. He pulled up his umbrella, hiding his irritated expression underneath. 

"Oi, Gintoki! We're still gonna talk about it, whether you want to or not!" Gintoki stopped, turning back for a moment to simply say this: 

"Fine! We'll talk about it! And you'll clearly see that I'm not jealous! Idiot!" 

He continued on his way, only more irritated for agreeing to something like that. And because this conversation popped up, he didn't get a chance to ask about Zura. If only he hadn't opened his mouth...If only he had shut up when Kondo came through the door, they wouldn't need to discuss anything! Damn it, damn it, dammit all! Damn that gorilla! Damn Hijikata! Damn this stupid jealousyyyyyyyy! 

... 

Gintoki finally exited the old hag's office, manuscript for chapters two to four under his arm. He leaned against a nearby wall, spent from her long examination of his latest work, as well as her feedback and corrections. For the time being, he didn't want to look down at the corrections or the feedback she had forced onto him. He wanted to sleep, he wanted to eat, he wanted to rid himself of this ridiculous back pain. He wobbled across the room, heading straight for the edit when he was approuched by, none other than, Katsura.

"Hey, Gintoki, are you heading home already? That was a quick meeting". 

"Was it? Oh...That's good...I thought it went on for hours and hours and hours and hours...What time is it?" 

"...9.45". 

"Oh, okey-dokey...Well...I'll just be on my way...See ya...". 

"Actually, Gintoki, I wanted to know when you wanted to go over the corrections in your work. Maybe tonight?" 

"Hm? Oh, god...I wish I could-really...". His tone didn't sound very convincing..."But I'm already kinda...meeting with someone today". Gintoki spoke unconsciously, a yawn dragging out by the end of his sentence. 

"You are? Oh, well, alright. Then I suppose I'll call you to talk about the details. We can discuss the manuscript whenever you're ready. Just don't wait too long". 

"Mm-hm...". 

Gintoki had the energy of someone who just got out of bed after only an hour or two of sleep. Katsura had never actually had a one-to-one meeting with Otose, but by Gintoki's sudden downturn of energy, it must have been taxing. And, from before, it was a simple answer that Gintoki gave, one that didn't need questioning. However, out of pure curiosity, Katsura wondered for a moment whom Gintoki wqs meeting with. As far as Katsura was concerned, it wasn't work related. Just as he acknowledged that fact, he shook the thought out of his mind as he simply stated that it was none of his business, and moved on from it. There was nothing more...Nothing at all... 

... 

Yet another boring session of classes had passed. For Okita, this was the highlight of his day. Any more work to be handed out, and he wouldn't hesitate to leave or show the lecturer his true, sadistic nature. He took his bag, and left the class while rejecting any offers to go out someplace by some odd female students. Okita made his way into the same old hallway, past the same old people, and out of the same old campus. It was still raining...Of course it was. He walked away from the front entrance, pulling up his hood to at least shield his hair from the rain. As he did, taking several steps towards the stairs leading down to the street, Okita paused and froze on the spot. A few seconds out of the building, and he already spotted something of interest. His eye caught on to the person sitting on those stone steps, leaeing down the the street. His eye recognised those long strands of navy blue hair, and the tomboy-ish clothing choice, as far as Okita's perspective went. He smirked, curious and overwhelmed by a single question.

"What are you doing here, away from Hokkaido?" He asked, knowing that she, this person, would hear him loud and clear. 

"...None of your business". She answered, coldly. 

"Okay then...". Scratch that question. How about... "What are you doing on campus, then? You don't attend this college, right...Nobume-san?"

This girl, with her name being called, turned her head and looked over her shoulder towards Okita. Her eyes were dead, but her gaze was almost piercing. This encouraged Okita's smirk to widen a little, and he approuched further. 

"I simply heard that you began attending this college, and I thought to see for myself. Being around the station was boring, so I thought I'd pay you a visit". 

"Oh, how sweet of you". 

"Don't get the wrong idea. I'm bored and, if I have your character memorised, I would say that you are also suffering from boredom". 

"That's an excellent capacity for someone so indifferent towards other people. Tell me, does this mean you're not indifferent towards me?" 

"You are fascinating, I'll give you that. But as I said, don't get the wrong idea". 

This girl was Nobume Imai, the vice-chief of the Mimawarigumi-a police force mostly stationed in Hokkaido, Sapporo. How she received such a position so early on at her age was something to envy, on Okita's part. She harboured the same sadistic traits as he did, but with less emotion present on her face. Okita sat beside her on the steps, ignoring the rain that fell lightly from above their heads. It had been a while since he last spoke to this girl. Even now, she was a little hard to read-unlike all the other women who attended the college.

"So...". Okita began, his gaze shifting to the miserable sky. "Did you have something to say?" 

"Mm...To be honest, I didn't really think of any conversation material. I'm not very good at this sort of thing". 

"Me neither, but what are ya gonna do? I suppose, for starters, you can tell me about Hokkaido and what you've been up to. It's been a long time since we last spoke, after all. I think ordinary people would go on to talk about where they've been and what they've been doing". 

"I see...Well, the rain season in Hokkaido isn't much better than over here, and...". 

"You know I'm specifically asking about you and your job, right? I'd literally kill to be in your place as a vice-chief". 

"Oh, well, then...Isaburo has been texting me non-stop about different cases and arrests. As of recently, we've arrested a lot of gang members and interrogated them. Thus far, nothing's come of it". 

"Is that so? We've handled a few cases about gangs and gang activity for some time ourselves. It's a lot more common these days, what with Kamui being outta juvy and all". 

"You know about Kamui?" 

Okita smirked, letting out a soft laugh as he remembered that guy from back then. 

"Yeah. I'm sure we'll get along like a house on fire". 

"Why do you say that? Have you met him face-to-face?" 

"...Sorry, none of your business". 

Nobume lacked a reaction. In fact, she gave none at all as if she had accepted Okita's unwillingness to give that much information. Of course, she knew that meeting with a wanted gang leader without making an arrest would land Okita in hot water. So he couldn't exactly give those details away to someone who was in the opposition of the Shinsengumi. 

"...Fair enough". She uttered, and that was that. 

These two...for conversation topics, there weren't many. Both were more suited as lone wolves rather than sticking with the pack-Nobume especially. But they both had at least one thing in common. 

"Say, Nobume-san, that guy you're always hanging around with...is he the reason you're back here?" 

"I suppose you could say that. Think of it like an assmessment on Tokyo's police force. Isaburo is simply checking up on things, to make sure the Shinsengumi is running like clockwork, rather than running like a bunch on headless chickens". 

"Tch, is that how you see the Shinsengumi?" 

"Mm...Not really. To an extent, that's how Isaburo sees it". 

The Shinsengumi weren't that incapable. Even Okita could attest to that, being one of the most painfully honest people within the force. 

"You seem to look up to him...that guy". 

"What makes you say that? That kind of wording, I mean...". 

"I dunno. I've seen the way you are around him sometimes, and I believe you even said yourself that you'd follow him without question". 

"Following someone and looking up to them as a role model are two very different things, especially with our type of relationship". 

"...?" 

"Isaburo and I...have a bond stronger than flesh and blood. That's all I will say". 

Okita didn't give any sign of understanding. He looked up at the sky again, her words cirdulating in his mind. A bond stronger than flesh and blood...He understood that. He did, but refrained from mentioning it. She, Nobume, had Isaburo Sasaki, her boss and possibly her greatest allay. He, Okita, had Isao Kondo, his boss and greatest allay. Of course, the way those two say their mentors was very different, despite the mutal feelings of trust and having a strong bond towards them. To Okita, he felt that Kondo had saved the lives of him and his elder sister. He took them in and treated them as family. But...what about Nobume? What were her ties to Isaburo? Her feelings? Their...bond? 

Okita decided quietly to himself to leave the discussion at that. 

"Man...such miserable weather". He commented, standing up. "I should be heading to work now, join the flock of headless chickens to protect Tokyo. Coming with?" 

Okita didn't wait for much of a response as he began slowly walking down the path with his hands stuffed into the pockets of his hoodie. Without given the chance to respond, Nobume simply stood up and walked at her own pace beside Okita. She, too, had wondered if Okita had the same bonds elsewhere. The unbreakable bonds that she had with Isaburo. They had a promise...What did Okita have? Now that Nobume had returned after so long, a feeling that the pair would soon find out stirred around in their heads. They would find out...quite soon, perhaps. 

... 

...

Gintoki watched the circle pattern in his ceiling, dazed and daydreaming. In his daze, he thought that circle pattern was turning, around and around. But as soon as his mind and his eyes focused, the box movements stopped. He rubbed his eyes, as if he had been sleeping this whole time. His back was still in discomfort and his manuscript lay next to him on the coffee table. To look at it now felt like a drag. His mood and the way he currently felt caused him to pause and then refuse to read over the corrections just yet. No doubt that they were minor and easy to fix, especially if Zura was around to advise Gintoki on plot holes or character and story ideas. But, in his current mood, such a task could wait. It could wait until tomorrow, the day they organised over the phone. 

Right now, it was nearing the late afternoon. And no doubt Kagura would be-... 

"Gin-chan, I'm home~!". Speak of the devil... 

The front door opened, and Kagura's voice reached Gintoki's ears. He sat up, ready to greet her and ask the usual "how was school?" As he did, as he sat up, ready to spout that greeting, Gintoki froze up and an expression of annoyance crossed his face. With her, surprisingly, was Hijikata. 

"Hey. I just came with the China Girl, since we were walking in the same direction". He was still in uniform, obviously just out of his shift. "Er, Gintoki, may we talk privately for a moment? In my apartment?" 

"...Sure". Gintoki agreed, bluntly. If this was what he thought it was... "Kagura, stay put. I'll make dinner as soon as I come back". 

"Okay, Gin-chan. Just hurry, I'm starving here". 

Getting up from the sofa, Gintoki followed Hijikata out of the apartment. The door was closed behind them, only for Hijikata's to be opened in a matter of seconds. They entered, their attitudes and facial expressions differing based on their current thoughts and suspicions. Hijikata held back a crooked smirk, his thoughts reading "is he still angry?" And Gintoki's face of annoyance reading, clear as day, "I swear to god, if he brings up the jealousy thing again...". By this point, could he really come up with a suitable threat, followed by a suitable punishment for Hijikata's need to embarrass Gintoki over something like jealousy? The answer was no. He didn't need to. 

"Um, first off, I'm sorry for earlier". 

"Eh...?" Clearly, Gintoki was stunned by this, his expressions switching in an instant. 

"I was a little pushy and I didn't mean to...tease you-only because you tease me all the time. So...yeah...". 

"W-wait, you're apologising for it?" 

"Yeah, I am. It was dumb and pretty childish of me to go on about it. If I dragged it out now, I would be no better than you or Sougo". 

"Oi, don't compare me to that sadist!" 

"Anyway, I wanted to just drop it-because if you say you're not jealous, I believe you. Alright?" 

Was that it? That was all Hijikata wanted to say? It was a relief, definitely. And he was mature enough to just drop this sort of thing when totally necessary. With that discussion seemingly over, Hijikata undid his tie and proceeded to make himself a cup of tea or coffee, perhaps? That...really was it. 

"Well, then...thanks, I guess". Gintoki uttered. Relieved, but a little surprised how anti-climactic this little issue was. 

"It's okay. Honestly, I don't get why you would be jealous in the first place. It doesn't seem like you to necessarily get jealous". 

"Uh, y-yeah...glad we agree". 

"I mean, Kondo-san is someone whom I respect and admire, but...I don't think he's someone to be jealous of". 

"Mm-hm...I suppose you're right". 

"He's my boss and a dear friend, but I could never think of him any other way, y'know". 

"...Mm-hm!" 

"We're close and he's known me ever since I was a teenager. He supports me, and I do the same. I even tell him things that people wouldn't tell their mother's, that's how much I trust him and...care about him-". 

"Alright! Fine! You win!" Gintoki suddenly declared, stopping Hijikata in his tracks from spilling his guts anymore. "I'm jealous! Alright?! I'm jealous of that gorilla! I. Am. Jealous! Really jealous! J-E-A-L-O-U-S!" 

"Okay, okay, I got it. Calm down...". Hijikata had never seen Gintoki so flustered, allowing these built up feelings of anger to overflow. "Mind explaining why?" 

"What is there to explain? How do you explain this burning, but temporary, hatred towards another human being over another human being?!" 

"Just tell me why you're jealous of Kondo-san? Do you think I like him, somehow, or that he-?" 

"What? No. That gorilla is Otae-san's stalker, not yours. And I know you wouldn't be attracted to him-that's just nuts". 

"Then what? Why do you feel jealous towards him?" 

Hijikata was surpisingly calm and collected. He wasn't angry or even amused. A straight expression, only a slight furrow in his brow. Nothing to make Gintoki feel cornered or badgered for these feelings that he had never actually experienced before. 

"Look-...I dunno. I guess it's just because you look at him a certain way, and...Fuck me, this sounds so dumb when I say it out loud". 

"Tch, no kidding. But, to clarify, I only respect and admire Kondo-san because of everything he's done for me. He took me in and made me into the respectable cop that I am today. Without him, I would probably still be fighting people for money or...worse-I could be dead. That's why I might look at him differently. But, Gintoki, you need to know something...". 

Hijikata approuched Gintoki, placing his hands on both his shoulders as a gesture meant to reassure him and cease his jealousy once and for all. 

"I...I'll just come out and say this now, 'cause if I don't say it clearly, you might not understand what I mean. I see Kondo-san as family-like a big brother almost. I respect him and I follow him no matter what. I tell him things that I normally wouldn't reveal to other people. He knows about my childhood and my experiences up until now. But...then there's you". 

At this, Hijikata slid his hands further down Gintoki's arms and to his wrists. He hesitated around Gintoki's hands, stopping himself from grasping them as a sign of affection. A sign that, for a fact, Hijikata would never expose to anyone-even Kondo-san. Hijikata, however, hesitated and avoided direct eye-contact with Gintoki. They were fairly close and personal at this moment, so making eye-contact would be quite awkward. 

"Well? How...How do you see me?" Gintoki asked, genuinally curious. "What makes me different from your close friend?"

At that, Hijikata raised his eyes, shly looking into Gintoki's-his heart skipping a beat in the moment. His lips and mouth ran dry, hesitation lingering around in his thoughts as he tried to conjure up an acceptable answer to that question. But... 

"I...I actually don't know how to answer that. I know that I see you differently from Kondo-san, and I know that I have these feelings that I don't have for Kondo-san, but...". 

"But...?" 

Hijikata hesiated once more, and then wore an expression of defeat. 

"Think of it like...how I don't know why I read your books, and why I like them so much. I've read plenty of good books, but yours, for some reason, are...". 

"...Right". Gintoki understood, uttering that single word in understanding. He couldn't come up with an answer right now. Honestly, it was fair. Why? Gintoki had the same feeling about Hijikata, in a way. 

There was a pause between them, Hijikata's hands loosely grasping Gintoki's wrists. Loosely, ready to let go and end the scene at any moment. However, it was Gintoki who pulled away from Hijikata's effortless grasp. 

"I should, er...be getting back to the apartment. Kagura's probably really hungry, so...". 

"I know...Uh, alright. I'll talk to you later then". 

The pain came back. Across Gintoki's back and shoulders, the pain returned as he gradually grew conscious of it. He was about several inches away from the door, when a notion suddenly struck him. Something that would break this awkward scene and bring about a better conversation. 

"Oh, Hijikata, I actually meant to ask you something". 

"Er, really? What is it?" 

"Well...". Gintoki began, rolling his shoulders to try and release some of the tension that had built up. "I was just wondering about something that's been on my mind recently...". 

"Yeah...?" 

"It's...uh...ugh...". The discomfort was the worst part of this. He could barely put together a sentence because of this back pain. 

"Is something the matter?" Hijikata asked, seeing Gintoki's obvious discomfort. Anyone could spot it from a mile away. "You look really uncomfortable. Is something wrong with your back?" 

"O-oh, this? Just a bit of pain here and there-nothing serious. So, anyway...". 

"Gintoki, if something like that's bothering you, I could help out, if you want". 

"...Eh?" What? What...How could he...? 

For a very, very short amount of time, Gintoki wondered how Hijikata could possibly help with his back pain. How could he help? 

"Yeah. For now, head into your apartment and have dinner, take a bath and then, Ttnight, I want you to come here and I'll see to it that your back is fixed". 

"Woah, really?" 

But how? That was the question. If Gintoki had to come to the apartment for it, away from Kagura, away from his own apartment and into this private space...Hijikata was going to sort out Gintoki's discomfort...So, what was he planning to do? Maybe a...a...a back rub? A back rub from Hijikata-kun? Somehow, such a possibility made Gintoki enthusiastic and even excited. Just the thought of finally receiving one from Hijikata was...amazing. Gintoki was the one who had been giving them, since he knew his way around it. But for Hijikata to know as well... 

"Yeah, just...bring a tank top and sweatpants".

".................Eh?" 

A tank top? And sweatpants? For a...back rub? Wait...Huh? 

... 

... 

"Hijikata, when you invited me over to sort out my back, this-ghhk...This wasn't what...I had in mind!" 

Gintoki didn't realise the position he would find himself in. The literal position that he found himself stuck in, because of Hijikata. This was what the tank top and sweatpants were for...To rewind back to a few moments ago, Gintoki entered Hijikata's apartment once more in these clothes and was surprised to see Hijikata wearing the same, a mat spread out onto the floor. It was puzzling at first, but one word from Hijikata caused Gintoki's enthusiasm and excitement to drain and be replaced by unwillingness and reluctancy. "Yoga". 

"Look, this is for your own good. You have to relax your muscles and get rid of all that tension. I found that this is the best way to do so". 

"Why...ghk! Why'd ya say that? A guy like you is tense anyway. That's how you've got that big furrow in your brow...haha-kah!" 

Hijikata brought his foot up to Gintoki's back, while he was stuck in this pose. It hurt...It really hurt...This pose that Gintoki was in was apparently called the "Bridge Pose". He put most of his weight on his feet and arms as his knees were propped up and his back was above the ground. His flat stomach stuck out, his limbs shaking from this new experience. It certainly wasn't a pleasant one. 

"Hey, you...just where the hell did you learn to do stuff like this?" Gintoki asked, dizzy as he felt the blood rush to his head. 

"A few of the female officers suggested it. I didn't really care for it at first, but it actually clears your head and relaxes you. Dating a guy like you, I needed as much relaxation as possible". 

"Oi! I help relax you! I give you back rubs and show you a good time under the sheets! Where's my back rub, asshole?! Ga! Haah..." 

"Don't tense up like that, you'll hurt yourself. Come on, we'll move onto a different pose". 

At that, Gintoki collapsed onto his back, panting and even sweating a little. Hijikata moved next to Gintoki onto the mat, getting on his knees at first fo a demonstration. 

"Alright. This pose is a little more for an intermediate level, but I'm sure it'll help you. If it doesn't work...". 

"Will you gimme a back rub then?" Gintoki asked, still sprawled out on his tense back. 

"Uh...sure. But if I see you giving up too easily, then we'll keep going until your back muscles are loose. Got it?" 

Gintoki sat up, watching Hijikata. 

"Now, this pose is kinda known as the "Downward Facing Dog Pose". Now, from what I've heard and read about, this really helps release tension in your spine and can stretch a vast majority of your muscles. It's really beneficial and relaxing, once you get used to it. All you have to do is...get into this position and hold it". 

Hijikata pressed his hands into the back, stretching out his legs and lifting himself up. He arched his back, downward until his head was nearly touching the ground...until his ass was in the air. Of course, Gintoki's scanned over Hijikata's body, and looked over every curve. His sweatpants were a little baggy, so his legs weren't that visible, but his tank top was loose and slid down from his stomach a little. His arms could clearly be seen, glistening with sweat. Was Gintoki really attracted to this? The answer was...yes. Yes, he was. 

"Think you can manage that?...Gintoki?" 

"Huh? O-oh, yeah, sure. S'xcuse me, I was just checkin' out your ass. It's nice and-khhlk!" 

Gintoki felt a sharp punch to his face as Hijikata quickly got out of his position, his cheeks red. 

"What are you being so blunt for?! I'm trying to help you here! Do you have no shame?!" 

"Ack...owowowowow....Okay, okay, fine...Fuck, you hit hard. Is my nose bleeding?" 

"Mh...Just a little. Wait here, I'll grab a cloth for you...Dumbass".

Hijikata made his way to the kitchen as Gintoki held his head back. When was the last time he got a nose bleed? A clean cloth was grabbed from the kitchen, and Hijikata swiftly brought it over. He kneeled down in front of Gintoki, gently grasping his chin and tilting it forward so that they were face-to-face. 

"Here, hold still". Hijikata held the cloth to Gintoki's nose gently. A stain of red soaked through almost immediatly as Hijikata applied a bit of pressure. "How's that?" 

"Good...You're quite gentle, after hitting me with such force. All I did was appreciate your nice figure, and I get punched for it". 

"You weren't appreciating, you were gawking. I'm sorry for hitting you, anyway. But that shameless side of you really pisses me off sometimes". 

"Ah, come on~. I know you at least like it when I call you cute and beautiful". 

"Not once have you called me anything like that". 

"Fine. I'll start saying it more often. Hijikata...". Gintoki cupped his hand over Hijikata's cheek, a smirk hidden under the blood-stained cloth. "You're a beautiful guy". 

Hijikata's face flushed pure red, despite knowing what Gintoki was going to say, but he remained silent. Gintoki felt the heat of his skin through his fingertips, his smirk only growing wider. 

"So-ahem...What, er...What did you wanna ask me earlier?" Hijikata asked, trying to change the direction of this moment. 

"Eh? What do you...?" 

"Uh, before, you said you had something to ask me, something that had been on your mind for a while". Hijikata retracted the cloth from Gintoki's face, once he was sure the bleeding had stopped. It did, just about. 

"Oh, yeah...that...". What a way to change the subject, Hijikata. Just because he was embarrassed for being called beautiful. Since when could Gintoki say something like that so smoothly anyway? 

"Wh-why don't you get into this pose while we discuss it?" 

"Haah...Sure, fine". 

Gintoki, hesitantly, propped himself up into the same position that Hijikata was in moments ago; hands and feet pressed into the mat, legs stretched out, back arched downwards, head nearly touching the ground, ass up. His arms and legs trembled, his balance unsteady. Discomfort rippled through his back, bones cracking here and there from being stretched. Then the discomfort spread to his legs and arms. 

"So, tell me, what's been on your mind?" 

"Ugh...W-well...". Gintoki began, shaking in his attempt to hold this position for as long as possible. "See, I have this friend...Well, he's my editor as well...Kotarou Katsura. I've known him since we were kids". 

"Right...?" 

"He's, er...I trust him and I'm sure he trusts me just as much but, er...He's not a big fan of the cops. You, for example". 

"Why? Don't tell me your childhood friends with a convict". 

"No, nothin' like that. Anyway, 'cause he's a good friend-kinda his only real friend, aside from a weird...thing and a...weird, idiotic, thing, I was wondering if it'd be okay to tell him...about us". 

"Really? Does he know who I am, personally?" 

"Sorta. He's less fond of cops in general, but since you're the vice-chief of Tokyo's police, he feels that you're one of the spearhead dogs of the govenment. He'd probably word it that way, not me. I'm kinda conflicted here, so...Your advice would really help out...". 

"So, this guy is a childhood friend of yours, who despises the police. Because he's your friend, who trusts you and is someone who you trust, you think it would be a good idea to tell him. I can see why you're hesitant. If he hates the cops, including me, finding out that you're dating me may come as a shock to him. But, if you want my advice...I can just say that, if he's a true friend, he'll accept it and maintain that trust with you, no matter what". 

"...I see. We had a...discussion about if one of us changed, then the other guy would be the first to knock some sense into the bastard who decided that change was good. I don't think I've really changed because I'm dating you...I've always been the same, had the same ideas and beliefs. What concerns me is if Zura will think differently".

"I don't know this guy personally, but if he's known you for that long then I suppose it would come as a shock to him, finding out that someone has straight as you is dating a man-who is a police officer". 

"Yeah...His reaction is gonna be inevitable, but if my knowledge on Zura is correct, he'll stick by me and he won't be a dick about it. Gah...Ahh, Hijikata-kun~, can I come out ofthis position now? I think I've-ack! Ah!...". 

"Gintoki! Are you alright?!" 

"Y-yeah...a bunch of my bones just cracked, that's all...Phew...I think that loosened my back up". 

"Really? That's...a relief, I guess. Do you wanna get of that position now?" 

"Yeah, definitely. Otherwise all the blood in my body will rush to my head". 

Gintoki lowered himself down carefully, onto his knees to take a breather. He rubbed his back and side, up and down in a slow motion. The pain had disappeared, as well as the discomfort. 

"How do you feel?" Hijikata asked, also adding a little pressure to Gintoki's back. 

"I'm okay, just...just gimme a back rub next time, 'cause I'm not fit for this kinda stuff". 

"I'm not giving you a back rub". 

"Pssh...Worth a shot. But I guess this shows I'm better at relieving stress". 

"Actually, you're more prone to causing stress". 

"What was that?! Bastard...!" 

"But, I suppose you can have back rubs. That's your forte, not mine". 

"Still, if you at least tried...". 

"Anyway, about this friend of yours...You really knew eachother since you were kids?" 

"Yeah, pretty much. We've got plenty of memories together. Stuff that no one else really knows about". 

"Is that so...?" 

Hijikata grew quiet, which was not expected. His expression couldn't be read, his feelings blank to Gintoki. Without saying anything else, Hijikata stood up, and gestured for Gintoki to remove himself from the mat. 

"Oi, Hijikata...". 

"I'm gonna put this away, alright? I know yoga isn't really your thing, but if you change your mind then just ask and we can go over some more positions and such". 

"Uh, okay? But, honestly, I don't plan to do any more. If need be, I'll just go to a spa with Zura sometime. He likes those places, as well as ramen shops. And I know it'd be a lot of fun, since being with him at a bath house makes me look good-although he doesn't really give a shit". 

"Uh-huh...". 

"Seriously, he's like one of the most expressionless guys I've ever met. One time we went to this bar a couple years back and these two girls approuched us and offered to hang out with us. Of course, one of the girl's was just supporting her friend in going after Zura. But, the guy was so oblivious of it that I had to hold in my laughter. When they lost interest, Zura turned to me and said "that's a shame". Honestly...His naïvte is one of the best things about him". 

"...".

Hijikata then fell silent, not a single word coming from his mouth. Gintoki's eyebrow arched in suspicion. Hijikata's lack of conversation all of a sudden rang a few bells in Gintoki's mind. Mentioning Zura, talking about him in a particular way...But...No, it couldn't be...Hijikata? No...No way...Was it worth teasing him over it? Probably, since Hijikata did the same thing hours ago. 

"Anyway...". Gintoki began, standing up and stretching, his muscles relieved of strain. "I think I'll speak to him tomorrow. He needs to know, being one of my closest friends. And, depending on how he reacts...I guess we'll cross that bridge when we get to it". 

"Mm, I suppose...".

Gintoki could admit that Hijikata's lack of a reaction also lacked thrill. Hijikata was more collected and measured. Gintoki was just more collected, but his brazen attitude was what dragged him down in that aspect. Although they both bottoed up their feelings quite easily, Hijikata was more likely to hold back petty feelings of remorse, empathy or jealousy. In other words, he wasn't going to expose his true feelings easily-not even to Gintoki. He was no exception in this case. 

"Hey, Hijikata...". Gintoki began to speak once more, right at the moment when he reached out to the front door in order to make his exit. "Why don't you come over tomorrow and meet Zura yourself? I mean, if he's fully accepting of us then he'd have to meet you eventually". 

"...And what if he isn't?" 

"If he isn't...I have my ways to at least let him give you a chance. I'll get through to him eventually. After all...". Gintoki pulled an impish little smirk, ready to pull off one of the cheesiest but most sincere lines he has ever said-or even thought of. "...I don't plan to break up with the person I like just because one person objects to it. I trust, Zura. He'll come around eventually...See ya". 

Hijikata hid away his flushed face, even as Gintoki made his exit. What kind of line was that?! Was he a total idiot?! These thoughts rushed through Hijikata's head, covering his face with his hand-mortified. No, Hijikata felt like the idiot. Why did he suddenly feel this rush of anger boil his blood? It was for a moment, but it was there-clear as day. At least, Hijikata thought so. If Gintoki saw hime getting j-...je-...Damn, he couldn't even say that word in his head. If Gintoki saw him like that, then he would...He would expose this part of himself that even he didn't know existed. He had already shown several weakness' to Gintoki. To show something like this would give Gintoki the perfect ammunition to fire at Hijikata, to tease and make fun of him. It would be the worst way for Hijikata to take his own medicine. But he never thought he would ever feel like...this. It sucked...Man, it sucked... 

... 

...

As planned, the following morning, Katsura came over to Gintoki's apartment to go over the manuscript. It wouldn't take too long, considering that Gintoki's work rarely had errors these days. If there was a mistake, however, it would mostly likely be a typing mistake that he had not yet noticed, or something questionable in the plot thus far. Of course the manuscript was incomplete, therefore any loose ends could only be tied up later on. Deadlines were always set for chapters in Gintoki's novels, to make sure he could produce something that wasn't a waste of time. If Otose grew more confident in a particular piece, the number of chapters to be written would be increased, ergo a longer deadline would be set. This was a system created by Otose herself, and it didn't take much to acquire Gintoki's cooperation with it as well. She believed that his work was worth printing between a hard cover of a book, to be placed on bookstore shelves and library shelves alike. But Gintoki's lack of energy and motivation to write when the going got tough was the thing that create the system in the first place. Otose needed to be confident that the pressure and the stress wouldn't collapse on top of him. Realistically speaking, the worst he would receive with these deadlines was a simple fraction of stress and pressure. That was all. 

Sitting beside Gintoki, Katsura read over the manuscript so far. Before them lay countless pieces of reference material from his previous works and notes in order to stick to theme, while also trying to keep this most recent novel fresh but nostalgic to the readers. They would be reading something brand new, but would give off the aura of "Gin" clearly. Thus far, Gintoki always succeeded in thar aspect and captured the hearts of many with his heart-wrenching stories. Even Otose and Katsura questioned where he got it from. Although, Katsura was a little less surprised than Otose, being the one who knew the full story of Gintoki's past. He could almost see the roots of Gintoki's stories and characters. However, just like everyone else, the answer to his ideas and feelings were just out of reach. He, too, found it hard to read between the lines of Gintoki's greatest novels. 

"How is it?" Gintoki asked, leaning back comfortably. "Aside from the typos, there shouldn't be a problem, right?" 

"Mmm...No, I have no problems so far. It's just as Otose-san says, and I find myself trusting her opinion above other's. It's good, really captures your attention, although I'm not surprised". 

"Oh? Was that a compliment? Stop it, Zura, you'll make me blush". 

"Oh, please...Even if what you said just now is a joke, the day I see you fluster is the day Sakamoto gets married". 

"Oof, that's harsh. But, I see your point. That guy would rather marry his trade than a woman". 

"Who said anything about a woman?" 

"Pffft...Haa, haha...God, so you do have a sense of humor. Oh, man...". 

"Hey, Gintoki...". 

"Yeah...?" 

Katsura placed down the manuscript, leaning back into a more comfortable position along with Gintoki before he spoke. 

"This, er...This feels almost nostalgic, doesn't it?" 

"What? Tearing Sakamoto apart with harsh comments?" 

"Yes, but something else...I suppose it's...this; the way we're talking to eachother right now. It feels like years since we've talked so normally". 

"What's so normal about our conversations? And, yeah, it's been quite a few years since...back then-but the past is in the past. In order to grab a hold of a secure future, you have to let go of the weight of the past. It's not as simple as I say, but it's the truth". 

"It is...It's...not that simple, for some more than other's unfortunately" 

"...". 

The name passed by anonomously from the conversation, but in their minds and in a moment of a shared gaze, they could clearly understand who they were talking about. It wasn't rocket science to know who was still clinging to the past out of hatred. The only question was: would he ever let go of it? There was no way to determine that. 

"Um, well, the manuscript looks fine to me. I've circled all the typos so, you should be able to take it from there". 

"Yeah, sure. Still a pain in the ass, though...". 

"If you stick by that attitude, you'll never get anything done, you know". 

"Yeah, yeah, I know...". 

"Haa...With that being said, I think I'll take my leave. Good luck with the rest of the-". 

"Oh, hang on a second!" As Katsura stood up, Gintoki called out to him in haste and urged him to sit back down. That's right...He still had to talk to him about "that". 

"Erm, alright? Okay, what's on your mind?" Katsura asked, sitting back down on the edge of the sofa. "Is this about work, or...?" 

"N-no, nothin' to do with work. There's just...ahh...There's somethin' I kinda need to tell ya". 

Already, Gintoki felt awkward just thinking about this. He scratched the back of his head and averted his gaze to the side to ease this awkwardness that lingered and swayed back and forth in his head. But he had to come out and say it. He made up his mind already.

"Ya see...Zura, there's been something I've been meaning to tell you for a while...". 

"Wow, you sound so serious. So I suppose it must be important". 

"If you wanna put it that way. Um, let's see...I suppose...Ack! This is really hard to say. I hope you realise this!" 

"...Gintoki". 

"Yeah...?" 

"...What's she like?" 

"....?...............Eh?" What? What...? What did he...What did Zura...What did he just...ask?! 

"I think you heard me loud and clear. What's she like?" 

"Uh, who...?" 

"Who do you think? Gintoki, I've known you long enough to be able to read some of your feelings-albiet not all of them. This is the first time I've seen you look this awkward, which never happens for you. My only conclusion can be that you've hidden away someone. By your attitude and the fact that you withheld it in the first place tells me that you're serious about this person. She must be really special, if you're the serious one. So, what is she like?" 

Already, before Gintoki uttered anything about this, Katsura had caught onto Gintoki. It was strange for him to just come out and say something like that, to determine that Gintoki had these feelings that were so foreign to him in the first place. Katsura had figured him out, but, unfortunately, he failed to hit the nail on the head. He was right, but then again he was wrong. And that part was the most concerning and awkward for Gintoki. 

"See, Zura, here's the thing...I can say that you're not totally off...weirdly enough. But I really have to tell you something, a vital piece of the puzzle that you missed, and that will be quite shocking". 

"Oh, is that so? Then, what is it? Tell me...". 

"Uh, to put it in simple terms, that "she" you mentioned is, er...is actually a...a..."he"...". 

"...". 

"...". 

"....". 

"....Uh, Zura?". 

".....". 

"........Zu-...Ah, for cryin' out loud, will ya say somethig already?! Don't leave me in the dark here!" 

"Gintoki...". 

"...?" 

"Is that...true? It's not a woman, but...a man who you're...". 

"I-I know what it looks like, but whether I'm straight or...whatever-which I'm not, I'm straight-...It has nothin' to do with it. It's just...". 

"It's...unlike you to be attracted to a man. I'm...shocked to say the least. In fact, I'm speechless. Gintoki, you really...". 

Katsura paused, clenching his fists in his lap as he tried to process all of that information at once. It really did come as a shock, just as Gintoki had expected. Katsura had always known Gintoki to go after the girl and make the most of their meeting, to place a euphimism on it, but this...This was so surprising that Katsura drew a blank. A man...Gintoki was seeing...a man...Despite the shock factor of it, Katsura was...He felt... 

"Gintoki, I...Of course, I'm devastated, but I...You are one of my closests friends and I...Thanks for telling me". 

"Eh...?" 

"Yeah, it's weird to hear you, of all people, admit to something so embarrassing. But I'm glad you decided to tell me. As I said, you are the last person I would have thought to come out as...". 

"Oi, I just said that I'm not. It's...special circumstances-so don't get the wrong idea about me, bastard". 

"Hahaha! And you thought I was gay! How ironic! Ahahahaha!" 

"Shut up, Zura! You sound like Tatsuma! It pisses me off! And I'm not gay! I'm straight!-straight as they come! It's special circumstances!" 

"Haaa...Either way, I could never picture you in a relationship-whether it was a man or a woman. Even now, I find it hard to believe. Are you sure you're not joking?" 

"Yes, I'm sure. Now don't make me repeat myself". 

So far, Katsura was...strangely accepting and perhaps even a little supportive. All that was missing was the slap on the back that Kondo would give to Hijikata. Although, Katsura wasn't the type to give out such an obnoxious gesture.

"So...what's "he" like then? Go on, you can tell me". 

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know. Geez...Um, well...Ya see, Zura...". Here goes..."This is where it gets really awkward". 

"...? How so?" Katsura brought his guard up a little. His previous expression of acceptance and joy for Gintoki's new-found relationship faded a little from his face. That didn't help out Gintoki's case at all. In fact, the look on Katsura's face made the situation a little more tense. 

"Uh...God, now how do I explain this? Um...I don't have much of a choice here, since you're bound to meet him eventually. It's, er...Zura, the guy who I'm seeing is...a man named Toshirou Hijikata. The...The Vice-chief of Tokyo's police...". 

".......". 

Katsura's expression changed once more, only this time the shock and the surprise fell under the category of "stunned" and "speechless". Once the explanation and the realisation hit Katsura at full force, his brow furrowed, and his teeth clenched. 

"You...Gintoki, you...Th-the Vice-chief of police?! Hijika-...No...No, you-...You can't be serious!" Katsura shot to his feet, outraged by this sudden turn of events. Gintoki also stood, trying to calm Katsura down. But that wouldn't be easy. In fact, it would be very, very difficult to get him to accept this now. 

"Zura, calm down. I can explain". 

"Fine, then! Explain why, all of a sudden, you're dating one of those...one of those...government dogs! I mean, after everything that we went through, what they caused!" 

"I don't think you're looking at the bigger picture here! Hijikata has nothing to do with that!-It was years ago!" 

"So you're saying you've totally forgotten what happened?!" 

"Of course not! How could I ever forget about the burden I had to carry?! About what happened to us and to...and to him! But those are just memories from back then, and this is now, you idiot! Now, if you just lemme explain...!" 

"I don't get that about you, Gintoki! Even if that incident is over-don't you still wish to fight for everything we believed in?! It's those government servants that got in our way and ruined our lives! And now you're involved with one!" 

"Like I said, Hijikata has nothing to do with it! And what is there left to fight?! Why are you still trying to fight a battle that we lost long ago? I'm done with that battle, and I'm trying to move forward. Why can't you do the same...?" 

Katsura hesitated to answer, his desire to yell and question Gintoki fading. He maintained his own beliefs, his own ideas. But, knowing Gintoki, he knew that he had his own; ideas and feelings that were different from back then. This idea of moving forward...this was something Gintoki was a lot more eager to do, and for good reason. Katsura, in all seriousness, could not argue to this. He could not tell Gintoki what to believe in. He couldn't force him into a fight that was, indeed, over a long time ago. Gintoki had other's to protect, other people to fight for in his own way...Katsura included. And now...Toshirou Hijikata as well, it seemed. 

"Gintoki...I just have to ask...What are your feelings towards that man? And...what are his feelings towards you?" 

"...I...It's a little tricky to explain in detail. But, so far...It's...intimate feelings. We kinda...like eachother". It was hard to admit it so bluntly, but there was no other choice in the matter. 

"...I see. Um...I...I want you to give me a little time to think about this". 

"What is there to think about? Either you accept it and move on, as a friend, or you tell me straight that you want me to fuck off, again as a friend would do. But if you wanna think about that, then be my guest. But, just so you know, Hijikata's job and position do not matter to me. I hope...I honestly hope that you feel the same way, eventually". 

"...Okay, then. I...I, er, should get going. I need to think this over and...I'll get in contact with you when I've come to a decision about what happens next". 

"...Fine. Go ahead then". 

Katsura didn't linger or hesitate any longer. He headed for the front door, slipping on his shoes and grabbing his work bag. Gintoki didn't face him, or glance his way as he stood firm. But, for a moment, Katsura did choose to linger. 

"Gintoki...". He muttered. "Just so you know...I don't intend to lose our friendship over this...but, then again, I'm not sure if I can accept this relationship you have yet.....See you soon". 

Katsura swiftly left, the silence signalling Gintoki to slump down onto the sofa with a gigantic sigh escaping him. He buried his face in his hands, his mind drawing a blank. What now? What happens now? This was the only question to circle Gintoki's head over and over. He didn't regret what he did, and he wasn't going to feel guilty about dating whoever he wished-Hijikata being the only one. But, when it all came down to it, to lose a guy like Katsura...Gintoki wasn't prepared for that. He wasn't prepared for that at all... 

... 

... 

The afternoon came around, as did the end of Hijikata's shift. He made his way to the exit of the police station, saying his goodbye's to the lady behind reception. Once he exited, he turned down the same street that he usually travelled down and suddenly froze on the spot. What he saw caused curiosity and different questions to come up in his head. His eyebrow arched, seeing this unfamilar person standing outside of the station, leaning against the wall. With a fresh, unlit cigarette between his lips, Hijikata chose to utter the first question that came to mind. 

"Err...Can I help you?" He asked, puzzled. The person, this man, looked up towards Hijikata and his brow furrowed. What was up with him? 

"You...Do you know where I can find Toshirou Hijikata? Is he inside, or...?" 

"Um, I-I'm Toshirou Hijikata. Why? Did you need something from me?" 

"Yes, actually. I assume that Gintoki told you about me at some point". 

Gintoki? This guy knew Gintoki? The next question arose, sparking many more curiosities. 

"Wait, you know Gintoki? Who are you exactly?" Hijikata had a hunch, but he had to ask in order to confirm his suspicions. 

"...Kotarou Katsura, a friend of his, as you may or may not know". 

"...! So you're the Zura guy that he mentioned". 

"It's not "the Zura guy that he mentioned" it's Katsura. And I have to have a word with you, Demonic Vice-chief...privately". 

Hijikata had a bad feeling. But, at the same time, he knew he had to talk to this guy at some point. Obviously, Gintoki had already explained the situation and by Katsura's behaviour and attitude, one could only assume that it went sour. He had to speak to this guy at some point, so why not now? Privately. Hijikata lit up his cigarette, quiet for a moment longer. Then, once retracting the cigarette from his lips, smoke drifting past them, he gave his answer loud and clear. 

"Alright. Let's talk, then...". 

... 

They took a walk. Nothing more than that. For several moments, it was quiet between them. Quiet until they reached an unpopulated area around the park and the housing streets. In other words, it was empty outside. As they took a walk in silence, Hijikata was able to look over some small details about this guy. Even when it was tied back, the man obviously had long hair that could possibly reach his waist. Everyone had their own appearance, but his hair was rather distinctive. Hijikata, for a moment or two, remembered when he had long hair as a teenager. Not because it was a fashion choice, but because it was a pain in the ass the get cut. Nowadays he had the money to go see a barber. Anyway, back on the subject at hand...This man, Katsura, clearly had a problem with the relationship. Why else would he call Hijikata out like this with such a look on his face? A serious, stern expression that Hijikata suited best, not this man. 

This wasn't the first time Hijikata was called out from in front of the station to talk about private matters, concerning his relationship with Gintoki. But he hoped that it was the last. Katsura didn't know where he lived-which was surprisingly next door to Gintoki-and assumed that he would find Hijikata around the station. Hijikata considered the many possibilities of Katsura's next words, and also considered many possible responses that may fix the situation or convince him to give the relationship a chance. Hijikata wasn't going to break up with Gintoki because he was told to. But, then again, if it put his friendship with Gintoki at risk...No...No, true friends should stick by eachother through thick and thin, even if they have disagreements and arguments at the worst times. So Hijikata hoped to get through to this guy to the best of his ability. This person whom he knew nothing about...This was indeed going to be a difficult task. 

"So, you wanna cut to the chase and explain to me what this is about, exactly. I have a good idea, but I would like to hear it from you specifically, if you don't mind". 

"Fine then...". Katsura cleared his throat, their pace growing steady. "First of all, I wanna know what your intentions are. How's that for cutting to the chase?" 

Hijikata was puzzled, but responded anyway. 

"Wh-what are you talking about? My...intentions?" 

"Don't play dumb. I might as well just say this, and give you a fair warning. If you're using Gintoki in any way, for your little investigations, you'd better stop". 

"Investigation. What-...?!" 

"I said don't play dumb!" Katsura came to a halt, this situation taking an abrupt turn. Hijikata definitely couldn't find a response for this..."You're a cop in Tokyo, you would have at least heard about it, that case from several years ago". 

Hijikata was thoroughly confused by this man's words. A case. What case? What did Hijikata's job have anything to do with this? 

"Listen, I really have no idea what you're talking about. Now calm down and explain it clearly". 

"...Fine. But I know what you're trying to do. Or, at least, I have my suspicions". 

"Alright...Go on". 

"You're the Vice-Chief of police, and you're currently involved with Gintoki. Is there anything else? I mean, how did you get so close to him?" 

"We've known eachother for a little while now. Maybe a year or so, but we...We actually didn't start dating until a few months ago, a little while after I moved in next door". 

"...You...moved in next door? And now you're dating?" 

"It's a bit of a long story, but if you let Gintoki and I explain then we can establish how that came to be. After all, Gintoki and I are not exactly the perfect match. It just...happened, out of particular circumstances. A-anyway, where are you going with this?" 

"...Gintoki said that the incident was long over, but it seems like loyal dogs of the government like you are still looking into it. I just never thought you would go so low as to be in an intimate relationship with one of the men involved. You make me sick...". 

"Incident...?" 

"...The R.B-2 Incedent...several years ago". 

Katsura could see the confusion and surprise on Hijikata's face. And for a moment he registered that Hijikata probably had no idea what he was talking about. Hijikata, however, tried to get things straight. 

"S-so, hang on a second...What you're saying is that Gintoki was involved in an old case several years ago, and you think I'm snooping around him by dating him? Are you an idiot or something?!" 

"...I suppose you could say that. I'm just not very trustworthy of you lapdogs. So you really...You're really serious about Gintoki?" 

"...! Listen, I really don't know what happened several years ago, but it seems clear that it's your business, not mine. I have nothing to do with these crazy suspicions of yours. Yes, I'm a police officer of Tokyo, but...". 

"If that's the case, then may I ask one last thing, Hijikata-san?" 

"...Yes?" Hijikata tried to prepare for this, to hold his composure steady even after being accused of supposedly using Gintoki to, perhaps, gain information about an old case that he was involved in. Just...what was Gintoki involved in? Especially for Katsura, his friend, to be so concerned for him. Of course, he spouted crazy accusations on Hijikata, and he seemed quite reckless confronting Hijikata about this but...Was it all for Gintoki's sake? 

"I just have to ask...What are your feelings for Gintoki? I want to hear it from you, directly. And I want an honest answer". 

That was all. Even now, Hijikata had no pre-prepared responses. There was only one or two things he could say about this. He had an honest answer to give. 

"Listen, it seems very clear to be that your opinion is based solely on my badge and my position as the "Demonic Vice-chief". My honest feelings for Gintoki mostly consist of frustration, irritation and...this feeling that I've only just come to terms with. It isn't the first time, but with Gintoki I feel like I can make it last longer than it ever has for me. I...Although, it's hard for me to say it to his face...I find myself in a position where I...actually care about that natural permed idiot. It's not as easy to say in front of you, a complete stranger but...if need be, I had to tell you this. I had to be honest". 

Hijikata was a little flustered from saying these things in front of a stranger. But he was Gintoki's childhood friend, a man who Hijikata was a little envious of. He knew so much more about Gintoki, and wanted to do whatever he could to look out for him...even with something so reckless. 

"I see...". Katsura said in response, pondering for a mere moment in silence before he gave a nod. "I understand. Although it's very hard to trust the word of a police officer, I...I can see that the man in front of me, Hijikata-san, is not a liar. You really...feel this way about Gintoki". 

"Yes...". 

"Alright then. In that case...I owe Gintoki an apology". 

"...? Really?" 

"Yes, I do. However, despite my attitude and my actions, I refuse to bow to a police officer like you. I just hope you'll accept a half-hearted apology for now. It was risky and reckless for me to confront you with all of this, but I had to make sure by any means necessary that Gintoki wasn't being used". 

"If you would have given the relationship a chance in the first place...". 

"It isn't that easy. Knowing now that you suddenly moved next door to Gintoki, interacted with him, got close to him...I can't help but feel suspicious towards that. I hope you understand, even a little. But it seems almost completely clear that you do have feelings for Gintoki, as a person whom I should probably get better acquainted with". 

"...I think that would be for the best". 

Those words, and that serious expression...Katsura was willing to accept this relationship, but it seemed that he didn't trust Hijikata completely yet. Hijikata could put up with that. Definitely. 

One more thing I should probably say before we part ways and I give Gintoki my apology". Hijikata listened intently, his focus squarely on Katsura's next words. "I've known Gintoki since we were children. I know he's not gullible or naïve or sensitve. On the contrary, he's strong in heart and will. I doubt he's let someone like you into his life so easily, which does show me that his feelings must also be genuine. If that's the case, if you really do care about Gintoki as you say you do, you'll allow him to explain everything of his own volition in time. I have already said enough, but if he really trusts you and harbours these feelings to which he has never felt before, he should inform you of his past eventually. Do you understand, Hijikata-san?". 

"...Yes, I understand". 

"...Thank you. I trust, until then, you'll do everything you can to bury this at the back of your mind...for Gintoki's sake, and perhaps even your own". 

"...Alright. Okay, I understand". 

"I'm glad we agree...Surprise, surprise". 

Katsura's expression changed once more, for a final time. A smile drifted onto his lips, and a kinder expression replaced the more serious one in a matter of seconds. He was like a totally different person. Or perhaps...this was his true nature. 

"I'm...surprisingly glad that we can get acquainted, now that all the mess has been cleaned up". 

"You started it...". 

"I know, and I did already apologise. So, don't make me do it again. I'll be heading home now. If I can't see Gintoki today, I'll settle for a simple phone call until we can see eachother and I can give a formal apology for my previous attitude". 

"Good idea. I should be heading back as well". 

"Very well. I'm certain we'll see eachother again, Hijikata-san. Don't forget; allow Gintoki to tell you everything in his own time. I know, being one of his closet friends". 

"...". 

"Goodbye, Hijikata-san. May we meet again. When that happens, I hope I can learn to trust you a little more". Katsura walked off, these words being left behind in a trail for Hijikata to follow, and burn into his mind. He dropped the butt of his cigarette on the ground, crushing it beneath his shoe before partng ways with Katsura, finally. Was it really resolved? Seemed that way, despite Katsura's lack of trust. But he seemed willing to trust Hijikata in time. That was fair enough...As fair as this situation could turn out to be. But that incident mentioned...Naturally, Hijikata was curious but...He did...He did...c-care...about...him...so...So... 

... 

Hijikata opened his apartment door, tired from both work and that situation moments ago. As he did, before closing it, the apartment door-Gintoki's door, opened behind him. Caight off guard, Hijikata turned his head and looked over his shoulder to see Gintoki standing there with the same nonchalant expression that crossed his face at the weirdest times. Had...Had Katsura gotten in contact with him yet? 

"Hey...". He greeted Hijikata, his tone just as nonchalant as his face and the pose he presented-leaning against the frame of his door. 

"Er, hey...". Hijikata greeted back, turning around completely to face Gintoki. Their eyes seemed to meet, and a pause came between them. That is until Gintoki decided to speak up and get whatever was on his mind out in the open. He scratched the back of his head, averting his gaze for a moment before bravely looking right back up at Hijikata. 

"Uhh...Zura called just now. He said you guys met up and had a discussion about the...whole relationship and-yeah, he...apologised for what he said to me earlier and for what he said to you, whatever that was...Um, wanna explain to me, or...?" 

"If he didn't mention it to you directly, he probably doesn't want to discuss it. So let's just say the matter's resolved and let that be the end of it". 

"Yeah, I thought so. M-mind if I come in? Just for a little bit...". 

"...A-alright, sure. I do have to change, though. If...". 

"This'll only take a second. Two teeny-weeny seconds and I'll be outta your V-shaped hair". 

Hijikata rolled his eyes, but stepped aside once Gintoki had closed his own door and entered past Hijikata i to the apartment. The door was, of course, shut behind them and the pause came back as Gintoki tried to recollect his thoughts. 

"Um, okay...". Gintoki clapped his hands together, swiftly turning towards Hijikata before shortly backing up to lean his rear against the counter by the kitchen. He then proceeded to speak, steadily trying to find the right words to say. "So...First off, whatever Zura said to you...He's weird and a little passive aggressive when it comes to people who he has trust issues with or generally despises. But, he is, although I'm reluctant to admit it this way...He's a good friend who would do anything to stand up for what he believes in and will do whatever it takes to help out the people who he cares about. That's just the way he is, even if he is an idiot. He's...kinda our leader. Or he used to be anway...What I'm basically saying is...". 

"Right, I know. I shouldn't judge him before I get to know him, right? Right...". 

"Somethin' like that. And I know he jumped the gun when talking to you-no doubt about it, but he said over the phone that he's willing to get to know you. That saves me the trouble of knocking someone out. If I have to put some sense into someone, a friend, why not knock it into them?" 

"...". 

"I don't regret tellin' him, ya know. He should know...I've got no reason to keep secrets from him forever. If he didn't find out now, he could have found out by accident later on, and that would of been way worse. Trust me". 

"Yeah, surely...". 

Gintoki's head tilted to the side, his expression presenting puzzlement. Hijikata's lack of responses or expressions was something he was awfully curious about. He wondered what was going on in his head. 

"What's up? I don't think Zura would'a been that harsh on ya. It's nothin to cry about". 

"I-I know. It's just...Well, Gintoki...Ugh, you see...". 

He knew. He knew he couldn't mention. The very thought that entered his mind, this urge to get an explanation so soon would have to be surpressed. What Katsura said before...It was true. If Hijikata truely cared about Gintoki, as he had claimed...If he didn't want to betray Katsura's-or even Gintoki's-trust...he had to bury this at the far reaches of his unconscious until Gintoki would speak and reveal all at his own pace. So far, Gintoki had opened up to so much. At least, with every little detail, Hijikata felt like he knew Gintoki so much more than he used to, already. Why ruin that with this urge? This curiosity that was nothing more than a plague in his mind? It wasn't worth it at all...to bring up this incident that Hijikata, currently had no idea about. The R.B-2 incident...that Gintoki was involved in...He had to shut it away...He had to. 

Hijikata smiled a faint and relaxed smile just then. 

Gintoki, I found out a few things about your friend...". 

"...?" He had to.. 

"He...He really seems to care about you, y'know". Gintoki looked even more confused, his eyebrow arched. 

"Ah? Zura said that? Nah, nah, he wouldn't be as blunt as that. I know his personality, but I doubt even he would be that sentimental". 

"He didn't exactly say it. I just...picked it up from what he said, that's all". 

"Oh...Well, okay...I guess". 

Hijikata loosened his tie, satisfied with the way things turned out. This was for the best. It really was. Hijikata approuched Gintoki slowly. In response, Gintoki froze in place right before Hijikata leaned in and gave Gintoki a soft and sweet kiss on the cheek. Nothing dramatic or ground-breaking in their relationship. Just a simple gesture. A simple gesture that Hijikata didn't seem to familiar with. As Hijikata walked further into the apartment, undoing the tie of his uniform and placing his badge on the end table in the living room, Gintoki slowly turned towards Hijikata-a little stunned from his simple, harmless gesture. 

"What's gotten into you?" Gintoki asked, leaning his forearms and elbows on the counter in front of him, leaning forward slightly. "Has the moon turned to mayonnaise or somethin'?" 

"I wish...". Hijikata muttered, hiding a smile. 

"Is that your way of saying "I'm not jealous anymore", or what?" 

"Psh, I wasn't jealous in the first place". 

"Li-ar. I know you were a little jealous of Zura. But you don't have to be...'cause there's plenty that I've told you that he doesn't know about yet. Just like...with you and the gorilla, right?" 

"...?" Hijikata turned towards Gintoki, immediatly noticing Gintoki's withdrawn attitude. "Is that...true?" 

"Y-yeah, what of it? Come on, you should be the embarrassed one, not me! After all, I'm the only one who's ever seen you get all flustered, right?" 

At this, Hijikata did get a little flustered, his cheeks flushing red...Just as Gintoki's were. 

"That's...true...". 

"Right, so...I'm not jealous! Alright?! Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go take a piss in your bathroom. I doubt the gorilla's done that, huh?" 

"It's not a contest!" 

"He's also never slept in your bed or taken a bath with you or...or heard you moan! I get all the good stuff! So, hah! I'm not jealous!" 

"I get it! I get it! You're not jealous! So, why don't you stop making it into a contest and jist take your piss already?!" 

"Fine, fine, fine! I'll be back!" 

Gintoki rushed over to the first bathroom, shutting the door behind him, only to leave the rest of the apartment in silence...if but for a moment. 

"Oh, Hijikata!" The door to the bathroom opened, and Gintoki peered out as he called out to Hijikata, an impish grin on his face. "I remember something that Zura doesn't know about, but you do...". 

"Oh, really? What...What's that?" 

Gintoki's smirk grew wide. He looked rather smug, but this wasn't the case. 

"He doesn't know...how easily I get jealous...'cause you're the first person I've ever been jealous over". 

At that, without a single response from Hijikata--if there was one--Gintoki shut the bathroom door, and the silence faded into the scene as Hijikata's blush faded into his skin. Bashful, Hijikata covered his face with one hand. What the hell. Did he just say another one of those weirds lines again? 

"...Idiot". 

It was embarrassing, but Hijikata couldn't bring himself to feel irritated or frustrated. That's because, secretly...He felt the same way. So, in the end, weren't they both idiots? 

... 

The following evening, those three had returned to Ikumatsu's for more ramen and sake. Gintoki, Katsura and Sakamoto brought themselves back once again. Although, it was a little quieter, being a weekday and all... 

"Alright, you guys...What do you want tonight?" Ikumatsu asked them as she approuched, almost breathless from her quick dash, going table to table, behind the bar, to the back room, back to the bar, and back to the tables. She adjusted the knot that kept her hair up, placing her hands firmly on her delicate hips. 

"Soba...". Katsura muttered, rather plainly. 

"Ahh, me too, for a change. And the usual sake". Gintoki requested, leaning back in his chair. 

"Cool. And, er...Uhh...What's your name again?" 

"Tatsuma Sakamoto. Y'know, I usually don't appreciate it when people forget or mistake other's names". 

"You're one to talk you bastard...!" Gintoki scowled, somehow extremely pissed off that Sakamoto, of all people, would be saying that after getting Gintoki's name wrong so many times. 

"However...". Sakamoto proceeded, ignoring Gintoki's comment. "Because it's you, Ikumatsu-san, I'll let it slide". 

"Uh...sure? What're you havin'?" 

"Well, well...Let's see...If you so wish, I can arrange a lovely night out, just you and me since you're probably still singl-kllkh!" 

Ikumatsu thrust her fist once again, striking Sakamoto's glasses area this time. Upon release, his head wobbled and swayed as he laughed like an idiot. 

"Haha...hahaha, I'll...take that a "maybe after my shift"? Ahahaha!" 

"Can't this idiot get a clue?!" Ikumatsu cried, rolling up her sleeve for another strike. Wasn't cracking his glasses enough?! 

"Again, something strong, including the ramen". 

"Dunno how I'll do that, but I'll think of something...I'll see if there are any razor blades around. Be right back with your orders". And off Ikumatsu went once more.

Gintoki separated his chopsticks, silence floating around the table they sat at. However, it didn't take too long for a conversation arise and totally change the atmosphere. 

"So, Kintoki...". Sakamoto began, shortly interupted by a correction from "Gin"toki. Obviously, this correction was ignored. "Since when did you start dating other guys?" 

Gintoki, in that very moment...That instant...He froze, his head turning towards Sakamoto slowly, out of pure shock. When did...How did...? 

"Eh...? Ehhhhhhhhh?!" Gintoki cried out, slamming his chopsticks onto the table before reaching over to grab a hold of the innocent bystander that was Sakamoto. "You...you...!" Gintoki was in pure shock, his face as white as his hair, his hands trembling weakly. "How the hell do you know about that?! Who told you?!" 

"Ehhh...I wonder...Haha...". 

"Gintoki, that would be me". Katsura sdmitted, much to Gintoki's surprise...surprisingly. 

"Huh? Zura?! You...!" 

"Why are you so shocked? Don't you think Tatsuma should also know, considering he's also a good friend of yours?" 

"Wha-...But-...!" 

"I won't tell anybody, Kintoki. I swear-you have my absolute word. And I'm not a man who breaks promises...". 

That was actually true, but in Gintoki's current state of shock, he ended up taking Sakamoto's words lightly. 

"How can I trust the word of a guy who can't even remember my name?!" 

"Gintoki, please stay calm". 

"Agggh! This is the worst!" Gintoki flopped back into his seat, ruffling his hair in total disbelief. "Does anyone else know?!" 

"No, no one else knows". 

"Ah, good! 'Cause for a second I thought you were gonna tell Takasugi next!" 

"Hey, maybe that isn't such a bad-". 

"Shut up, Tatsuma!" Both Gintoki and Katsura said this, agreeing that Takasugi was the last person who should find out, even after that crazy journalist, Sarutobi. 

"Gintoki, he's the only one. You have my word on that". Katsura wasn't lying. Even Gintoki could see that from his words and calm facial expression 

"Haa, thanks, Zura". 

"Katsura...". 

"...Thanks. Zura". 

If it was just these two, then fair enough. How many people knew now? Otose, Kagura, Shinpachi, Gorilla, Katsura and now Tatsuma. Great...Why not inform the whole of Tokyo next? When put in that perspective, that sarcastic way, telling people of the relationship between Hijikata and Gintoki was becoming less and less of a big deal. But, just like how Katsura reacted, there was no telling how other's would react later on. For now, though. It was best to keep it at a minimum. Despite the wish to keep the relationship private, this had proved to be a relief. Telling someone who was very close, as an old friend or current friend, was a great relief. A weight off of Gintoki's shoulders. But, he did indeed feel that this wasn't over. That more people would gradually find out. If that was the case, depending on the person...how would they react? Would their current relationship remain? Or would they be reluctant to accept it, due to personal feelings? Who could say? The bonds that Gintoki had created with so many people were tight and almost unbreakable. Would it remain that way if he spoke of the relationship? How...would they react? If...If "he" was here, right now...What would he say? How would he feel? At that thought, all Gintoki could picture in his mind...was his smile. 

("Sensei..."). He thought, closing his eyes. ("What do you think of all of this...?") He wondered, silently and peacefully...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haaaaah, and so we've returned to the longer, more plot oriented chapters. I missed them. Truely...Now we have two more people who are aware of our main ship. I wanted to add something inbetween, namely Okita and Nobume stuff. I do plan to write more about that. Also, yes, Isaburo is in this-because this is an AU and this is based on better times! 
> 
> ...Sorry, I got emotional there. 
> 
> Anyway, if people want Okita and Nobume stuff, then, great. Whether people say so or not, I do want to write more about them and their relationship. Or do people prefer Okita and Kagura interactions? Or both? Or neither? Tell me. Suggestions are always welcome. Hope you all enjoyed. This was a bit longer, as per usual, and I did add some story-based stuff so...that should come up again later on. :) Until then, see you next chapter.


	18. When It's Winter, People Look Forward to Summer. When It's Summer, Winter is Greatly Missed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have returned once again. And we're back with another casual-uh..."casual" kind of chapter. I have some story planned and will swiftly get around to it in the next couple chapters. I'm not gonna specify when I'll post it. I will not specify what it's about. But I hope that it will be good and enjoyable for all you beautiful readers. 
> 
> Until that happens, enjoy this little casual chapter. There may be a few more of these to come, and then I'll try to write more story-based, drama stuff.

The rain season: over. Summer: finally beginning after a month. It was normal for children to be impatient for summer break; the days in which they could play outside with friends, travel to the beach without catching a cold, and they could look forward to the summer festival at the end of the season. But the one thing about summer, to adults more than children, was the scorching, blistering, headache enducing weather that would plague the streets and even inside one's own home if you were unable to afford airconditioning-or even a fan. So despite the oppurtunity to play outside, the ability to go to the beach and attend the yearly summer festival, the one thing that was a total drag on summer was the heat. The horrible, horrible heat that drained adults like Gintoki of energy as-like every year-he would sweat bullets and curse at the sky from his position on the road, on his scooter, in front of a traffic light that flashed red...perhaps. It was so hard to tell with blurred vision and frustration.

"Aaah! This pisses me off!" Gintoki cried out, leaning back to convey his anger-to the sky, of all things. "Damnit, damnit, damnit! Why is it so hard to find an uncrowded store that sells snacks?! Has god forsaken me?! Zeus?! Buddha?! Sorachi Hideaki?!" 

These were the ramblings of a guy in his late twenties who couldn't stand the heat. He felt that, if this continued, he would surely melt. Meanwhile, Kagura was at home hogging the only fan in the apartment because the aircon' decided to break because a certain someone thought it was a good idea to set it to it's highest level until it died! He was pissed...He had not been this pissed off since Kintoki Sakata announced another one of his generic, drama, chick flicks. Gaaah! That thought pissed him off! This heat was unbearable, his clothes and the bangs of his hair sticking to his skin like glue in a duct tape factory. That was a bacd simile to use, but still...He was an author, so language and technique circled through his head when possible. Just not in his words. 

"Fuck this, fuck this, fuck this, fuck this, fuck this, fuck this! I swear that girl is gettin' an earful for forcing me to buy her ice cream and cream sodaaaaaaa!" 

Gintoki cried out once more, to the skies and the heavens-if they really existed by this point. As the light before him flashed green, he made his way down the road at the fastest speed he could go without being stopped by Mr or Ms. Policeman. But even they would be suffering from the heat wave, especially in those black uniforms of their's. Summer uniforms for the cop's would be useless, considering the original design of black, black, white, a little grey and black. But saying that didn't make the heat any more bearable for Gintoki as he rode down the street, the breeze flowing nicely at this speed. If only it was a little stronger, or if the weather wasn't so hot in the first place. That would be something...That would indeed be something... 

... 

Entering his apartment, Gintoki realised just how devoid of energy he was from being outside. He could sense that the ice cream, within the plastic bag in his hand, was melting quickly. He couldn't care less, though. Not at this point, when all he wished to do was take a freezing cold bath or sit in front of a huge variety of fans to just take in the cool breeze. However, currently, Kagura was hogging that cool breeze as she sat right in front of their one and only fan. Her long hair was tied back, the ponytail swaying in the breeze. A tank top and shorts...of course. Gintoki, on the other hand, picked out a loose-although not so loose anymore-tee-shirt that stuck to his torso, and his own pair of shorts that he was incredibly reluctant to wear. It was the only pair he owned, and they exposed hairless legs because Gintoki is a main character with no such things as leg, or chest or armpit hair. Next we'll be saying that he doesn't fart or shit either. 

"Oi, Brat, I got your snacks. But you should probably eat 'em now, 'cause I think they're melting". 

"Okay~, thanks, Gin-chan...You gonna bring them over, aru?" 

"No, come and get them you lazy dweeb. I'm not your Mom". 

"Funny thing; Mami actually brought me candy and soda whenever I got sick. Although, she was quite sick too so we would share a bed and read stories. I-if you brought them over, it would be like how my Mom used to do it". 

Kagura tilted her head, looking at Gintoki with big, puppy-dog eyes. Her bottom lip stuck out slightly, and she looked like she was ready to start whimpering, like a puppy. And Gintoki's reaction to this...Well... 

"Okay, for one, you're not sick. And don't use your Mom as an excuse for someone to bring over your shit. It's not hard to just get up and get it". 

"I know! I just don't want you to take up the fan while I'm gettin' it! Adults play dirty tricks like that all the time-that's what Big Sis' taught me". 

Big Sis'? She was probably refering to Otae-san. Gintoki shrugged it off, reaching into the plastic bag for his own ice cream flavour and can of iced tea-because the strawberry milk would expire in an instant. 

"Fine then. I'll just sit by the fan and enjoy my own snacks. If you're stubborn enough to stay put for an appliance, then maybe you should let that delicious, caramel flavoured ice cream melt, and that amazingly good cranberry juice go warm. Be my guest". 

Gintoki took his snacks and sat in front of the fan, taking the corner of it...for now. A slight breeze came his way, and nothing more than that. But he acted as if he could accept that, having his ice-cool snacks at hand. Right in front of Kagura, he ripped open the ice cream packet and took a hold of the stick to pull out the treat. Placing it between is teeth, Gintoki reached over to the remote and turned on the T.V with the most nonchalant expression. That ice cream was his lifesaver, as if he didn't care about the fan. Unfortunately, Kagura knew he was just playing a dirty trick and pretended not to care. He must have been suffering from the heat, especially at his age. Wearing those clothes, having such messy hair...They were burdens on him in this heat. He wouldn't be able to compensate that with ice cream. He needed the fan. He wanted it for himself. Kagura knew she couldn't be fooled. This wasn't the same as the hot pot incident last Christmas and New Year's. Damn it-it wasn't going to be the same! But...The ice cream was melting...the juice was warming up as she thought and debated her actions in her head. What could she do? How could she win?! 

"Gin-chan...". 

"Hm...?" 

"Could you...Could you please go grab my snacks? If you do, we can share the fan-I promise". 

"Kid, at my age, it becomes easier and easier to resist the words of a young girl. She may think you'll do what she says because she's self-aware, knowing that she's cute and persuasive. But, eventually, that old act dies out and men try to find an older, more mature woman who can tie them around her finger just as easily, if not better". 

"Gin-chan, what's this gotta do with your old sex life?" 

"Nothing! Nothing at all! The bottom line is that I'm not gettin' your snacks. Go get 'em yourself". With that, he placed the ice-cream back into his mouth, switching channels on the T.V to the weather report with Ketsuno Ana. 

"Ugh! Fine! But if I see you hogging the fan for yourself, I'll put your Ketsuno Ana figures in the blender, and then tell the Mayora about that secret poster you keep in your walk-in closet". 

Kagura stood up, taking Gintoki's silence as acceptance of those terms. She hurried over to the kitchen, where the plastic bag was being kept on one of the counters. As quickly as possible, Kagura grabbed her ice cream and drink before she heard Gintoki moving around behind her-to which she swiftly turned around. 

"Hah! Jokes on you! He knows about that poster-and he accepts me for it!" Gintoki moved the fan directly in front of him, where he could take in most of the breeze, leaving Kagura to roast in this unbearable heat. And, of course, she was pissed and ready to fight back. 

"You bastaaaaard!" She cried, rushing over to Gintoki at full speed. 

Gintoki looked over his shoulder, his eyes widening as he saw, clear as day, Kagura charge towards him as she prepared to beat the shit out of him. He should have expected this, knowing how freakishly strong this little girl was. In an instant, Kagura tackled Gintoki as he made a failed attempt to stand to his feet and make a quick dash for the door. It was a hard choice between the fan or his life, and he chose life. Neither worked out. When Gintoki was down on the ground, Kagura didn't bother to hit or kick him. Instead, she got up once more and quickly grabbed the fan. Realising this, Gintoki also stood up and followed pursuit as the fan's plug was ripped from its socket, the whole appliance in Kagura's arms as she ran around the apartment with it. Gintoki made chase. 

"Oiii! Come back here, ya little shit! Why are you runnin' around with that?! Give it back! And be careful! If anything happens to that fan, I'll put Sadaharu in the blender and tell Okita-kun about that poster in your room! I'm sure he'd love to know how much you love Sailor Moon!" 

"Shut up! It's a good series-and you wouldn't dare! Sadaharu doesn't belong in the blender, and I'm sure that sadist doesn't care about my taste in anime!" 

"Ahh! Quit running! Come on! I'll give you three-thousand yen!" 

"Three-thousand?! What happened to three-hundred yen?!" 

"I'm rich, so I one-upped it by one-thousand!" 

"That's still petty money for a rich guy, ya moron!" 

This argument went on as Gintoki chased Kagura around the apartment, the space wide and very spacious for them to run around like children. But in this "game", the heat got to them, quickly. Very quickly as they wasted their breath and energy from both running and yelling senselessly at eachother. Eventually, they stopped running around. Gintoki leaned forward, hands on his knees as he huffed and heaved as he recovered his breath. Kagura, on the other hand, had just enough energy to exit through the balcony door. It seemed like a poor choice, as she was cornered along the balcony platform with no where to run. However, this was her intention. Raising his head, Gintoki's eyes widened as he spotted Kagura out on the balcony, holding the precious fan over the ledge. Her eyes were focused squarely on Gintoki, serious and firm. He had no choice but to follow her out there, willing to talk her out of such a crazy decision. 

"Oi, Kagura! Cut it out, and stop messing around! Just...put the fan down, and everything will be alright. Just come back into the apartment, we can plug it in and share, okay?" 

"No way!" She protested, her grip tightening on the appliance. "If I can't have it, no one can! How can I trust the word of an old man like you?! Because of you, my heart lost its purity and I'm totally devoid of innocence. Asshole! This'll teach you to lie to me, aru!" 

"No! Kagura-chan! Don't! C-come on...We bought that fan together, when you first moved in here, back when we had no airconditioning at all. It's...important to us, right? Don't do anything stupid because...if you drop that fan, you'll regret it for the rest of your life. You're still young-give it a chance to see summer again! Not like this...Not like this!" 

Honestly, he was pulling this out of his ass. But if it stopped Kagura from dropping the inanimate object fifty feet from above, onto a rock-hard curb, then it was necessary. 

"...And we can share it, aru?" 

"Yes...". 

"And you won't lie to me anymore, aru?" 

"Yes! I mean, no, I won't! I swear...". 

"Hah...". Kagura scoffed, pulling a smug expression. "Okay, I believe you. Man, you really thought I would drop this? Of course not. That would be so stupid. This heat is killing me, especially since my ice cream has melted. But could you imagine if I actually dropped this?" She asked, lightly tossing it up and down in the air. 

"No, I don't wanna imagine. So, give it here already and I'll plug it back in". 

"Yeah, you will. You owe me, Gin-chan. For lying and harming a little girl's innocence. This'll definitely teach you not to be so stupid-...! Ah!" 

Suddenly, Kagura missed when she was supposed to catch the appliance in her hand. It bounced from her palm, her immediate reaction was to grab it before it fell. But, sadly, the fan fell from the balcony platform. Gintoki rushed over, peering over to watch it fall. It was...heart-breaking. As it's face stared up, the last thing that the fan would have saw was the sad expressions on their faces. The sorrow and despair on their faces...The shock...And then...They, from the balcony, heard the distant crash of the fan as it broke into hundreds of tiny pieces. Gintoki fell to his knees, slamming the ground below with his clenched fist. And, in Japanese, he cried: 

"You blew it up! God damn you! God damn you all to hell!" 

Silence. Dead silence, with only the breeze to pass by as they mourned. 

"Gin-chan, when I'm grown-up, I'll name my first born Xinwang Electric Table Fan XWT-01". 

During this moment of "mourning", the front door to the apartment opened and a familiar voice called out to them, as if the person had come down from heaven to save them both. 

"Hey, Gin-chan, Kagura-chan, Otose gave me this spare fan from the office, so we don't have to fight over just the one! Isn't that lucky? Guys...?" 

All three of them turned their heads, and looked at eachother with different expressions of confusion and disbelief. This moment of silence was cut short as Shinpachi so desparately tried to read the situation. 

"What-...What the hell did you guys do now?!" 

... 

There they were, all three of them sitting in front of a single fan. All three of them swayed and followed the fan as it slowly moved and got around to cooling them all off at its own pace. Although, within a few minutes of rocking back and forth in the same positions, they all grew tired and sore around their hips. And, incidentally, they fell backwards in a state of exhaustion with the dull ache throbbing around their backs and hips. The floor felt hot against their backs-boiling, almost scorching in the heat of summer. 

"Oi, Shinpachi...". Gintoki muttered, almost incoherently in his daze. The circular pattern on the cieling swayed and made boxes from above. "How long until summer's over?" 

"Ahh...". Shinpachi hesitated, his response weak and frail. "A couple months...". He groaned, only just realising such a fact himself.

"Oi, Shinpachi...". Kagura mumbled. Was she seeing the boxes as well? "How long is a couple months?" 

"At least...eight weeks". 

"Oi, Shinpachi...". Gintoki muttered. Yep. Those were definitely boxes he was seeing, in the 1, 2, 3, 4 formation of a box. "Can you feel your legs? I can't feel my legs". 

"Oi, Shinpachi...". 1, 2, 3, 4, 1, 2, 3, 4, over and over. The circles...were moving in boxes. 1, 2, 3, 4..."I feel faint...Am I dying?" 

"Oi, Shinpachi, is she dying?" 

"Am I dying?" 

"Will you both shut up? You sound like children". 

"I am a child, techniqually. Oi, Shinpachi". 

"I'm a child at heart, Oi, Shinpachi". 

"Stop saying that as if it's my name...". He couldn't even yell. Shinpachi was unable to yell and curse at the two idiots. Now he was seeing the boxes. The waltz on the ceiling as he grew dizzy and dazed from the heat. 

"Oi, Shinpachi, don't you die on us. You're our glasses character. Oi...Shinpachi. Oi, Shinpachi...!" 

"Oi, Shinpachiiiiiii...Don't die, Oi, Shinpachi...". 

"I'm not dead, you idiots!" Shinpachi sat up, his cheeks flushed red, his vision blurry even with his glasses. "And stop saying "oi, Shinpachi, oi, Shinpachi as if it's my name! I...I...Fwaah...". Shinpachi, having wasted all of his energy and oxygen on yelling, collapsed to the floor once again in a heap. 

"Shinpachi? Shinpachi-kun?" Gintoki weakly turned his head. To be more accurate, his head flopped to the side-weakly-to see Shinpachi collapsed in a state of heat stroke. The fan was still on and everything, so how could he faint? Gintoki let out a deep sigh, his head flopping back where it was. "Guess I'll run a cold bath for 'im. Before he dies". 

"Good idea...Can I go next?" 

"Sure...Why not? You get the bath running. I'll grab Shinpachi and a whole bag of ice". 

"...'Kay". 

... 

The heat spread, affecting everyone in Tokyo. Nihon Bungeisha, the publishing company, was affected by the heat through glaring windows and a great lack of fans while the air conditioning was currently being installed. Until the job was done by the poor gentleman in the work overalls, the offices had to suffer under these work conditions. Some more than others, due to a short temper and a lack of fan space. Matako Kijima, for instance. She was bent down before the desk fan, appreciating the brief breeze that swayed through her hair and across her flushed skin until it moved all the way back to Bansai, who was working normally. Normally until he had the privelage to go home and see Shinsuke in their airconditioned apartment...with Shinsuke. She groaned quietly at the thought, hating the idea that Takasugi had to suffer from this weather too. No, wait, go back a few steps there and you'll remember the nice, cool air conditioning. 

"Mm...Bansai, can I have all of the fan yet? Aren't you done?" 

"Almost, I daresay. Just printing these papers off and the fan's all yours". 

"Thank you~, now I'm glad that we're, like, best buddies. Right? Right, Bansai?" 

"Uhm...Sure". 

"Why do you sound so unsure?! Aside from Shinsuke-sama, I'm your only other friend in this office! So be grateful!" 

"Sorry, but I don't need any other friends. Shinsuke is enough". 

"Wah! Hey! I gave you my snack-pack!" 

"No you didn't". 

"...Okay, fine, I didn't! But I'm the one who picks up the manuscripts and I've even had the privelage of working with Shinsuke-sama because you were busy writing your girly songs!" 

"Matako, if you don't calm down and lower your voice, you'll collapse from heat stroke, I daresay. And for an ill-tempered girl like you, it wouldn't take too long". 

"Wha-...!" 

"Now, I seem to be finished, I daresay. So I'll head back to the apartment and go over my work there. Look after the office while I'm gone". Bansai took out the papers from the printer, placing them in his work bag before getting up from his chair. 

"I'm an intern! Don't weigh the responsibility of the office onto me! That's Takechi-senpai's role, not mine!" 

Matako's protests fell on deaf ears. More accurately, Matako's protests fell on Bansai's ears, his headphones blocking out the noise that was Matako Kijima. They didn't call him "Deaf Man" around the office for no reason. Because of those stupid headphones and his short attention span for those whom he has no interest in, he rarely heard anything from his co-workers. But Takasugi relied on him as an asset in his work, so no one could complain-not forever, anyway. 

... 

"Shinsuke, I'm home". Bansai called out to Takasugi from the front entrance, the inside of the apartment was cool and pleasant, unlike the offices. "Shinsuke...?" 

Bansai looked around, seeing clearly that Takasugi wasn't around in any of the main, open rooms. He slipped off his shoes, coming into contact with something pressing against his legs, the familiar soft purrs and the gentle ringing of a trinket bell. He looked down, seeing their pet cat welcome him home. 

"Hey, there". He greeted her, crouching down to pet her soft fur. 

It was a silly question, but..."Have you seen Shinsuke anywhere? Hm?" Silence, obviously. Kitty wouldn't exactly answer back at a question that was obviously rhetorical. Her only given response was a few soft mewls and quiet purrs. 

Bansai stood to his feet, looking around a little more thoroughly as he walked around the apartment, looking around every corner just to make sure. 

"Shinsuke...?" It was odd for his instincts to take him to the small laundry room by the downstairs bathroom. He had a feeling...An odd feeling. A feeling that said: "it couldn't hurt to check". 

That feeling was what found Takasugi. Bansai arched an eyebrow, suddenly spotting Takasugi inside the small laundry room, folding clothes neatly into the clear, pearl white basket that lay atop the two machines. His bangs covered his other eye-the good one-his expression unreadable due to this. This was...a strange sight to see. Very strange. Not that Takasugi never took part in doing chores, but...laundry was a first. 

"Shinsuke, there you are". Takasugi heard Bansai's voice, but he hesitated for a second or two to turn his head and face him. Was he embarrassed or was it something else? 

Takasugi cleared his throat, continuing his task. "Ahem...Welcome home". He greeted, finally turning his head to look at Bansai. He was almost shy, inquisitive as he paused and awaited Bansai's reaction to seeing his face. With a shift of his bangs, Takasugi cleared his throat again and waited for a reaction. He said nothing. He only waited for the right words to come directly out of Bansai's mouth. Here they come... 

"Shinsuke, your...Your bandages...I mean, your scar...". 

No bandages. No covers or patches or secrets to hide. Takasugi had removed them, the scar on his eye exposed. Or perhaps he hadn't put them on in the first place. 

"I, er...I just thought there was no point wearing them around the house". Takasugi explained, withdrawn. "I mean, you've seen the scar hundreds of times now, so I see no need to hide it from you. That's all...".

Bansai entered the tiny room, leaning against the door frame. He folded his arms, continuing to observe Takasugi from a distance as a few questions came to mind. Questions that he needed to ask. 

"Are you still going to cover it up at work?" 

"Yes. Unless you're the only one here, I'm still going to cover it up. Although I think that I'll start wearing an eye-patch instead. It would be a little more convenient than the bandages". 

"I see...". 

"Haa...I can't wait until Autumn rolls around again. I despise this weather. Thank god we actually have airconditioning. Hey, Bansai, do you-...!" 

Without really batting an eye at Bansai, Takasugi didn't notice him approuch. First, Bansai wrapped an arm around Takasugi's waist, bringing himself closer to Takasugi's back before pressing his chest against him and then wrapping his other arm around the other side of this slim waist. 

"I daresay, you look quite beautiful without the bandages". 

Takasugi's heart skipped a beat, but his composure didn't falter. He remained calm, dismissing the momentary throbbing in his chest and the warmth of his cheeks. Bansai didn't choose to cling to Takasugi, as he pulled away after planting a small kiss on the back of Takasugi's head. Takasugi straightened his composure, rolling up his shirt sleeves a little as the material slid down his forearms again. 

"Oh, and, Shinsuke...?" 

"Yes, Bansai?" 

He didn't want to hear another weird comment out of this guy. You could rarely tell what he was thinking with such a straight face. Even Takasugi struggled to read his expression...at times. Whatever was on Bansai's mind, he feared another embarrassing comment or compliment that would ruin his collected attitude. But he refused to lose that, to anyone. Although, that may have been too late when it came to Bansai. Far too late. 

"...There's a crease, I daresay". 

"...Uh, pardon?" 

"There's a crease on this bedsheet. You must have done it while folding the clothes". 

Takasugi looked down at the laundry, spotting the area himself. 

"God...! Damn it...Am I gonna have to do this again?" 

"No, no, I'll get it. It'll save you the trouble of dragging out the ironing board again". 

"Hey, I do not drag it out. I can manage". 

Due to Takasugi's height and built, raking out such a heavy board might have been a challenge for him. He could certainly do it, but it was certainly an obstacle in his usual routine. The mental image forced Bansai to hold back a smile. Not a laugh or a snicker. A smile. 

"I know, but let me do it so you can finish up here, okay?" Another kiss was placed on Takasugi's head, by his frontal lobe. 

"...Fine. Thank you".

Takasugi watched Bansai exit the room, taking the ironing board with him to set it up. He could lift it so easily...Takasugi returned to his task, trying to back away from the embarrassment of having to literally drag the ironing board out of the room. He brought out the creased sheet, cringing a little at yet another embarrassment. The embarrassment of making one stupid mistake at something so easy. At this point, his composure was on the edge of shattering. Why? Why did he have to get embarrassed about the smallest things? That mainly revolved around Bansai, but...Takasugi couldn't hold anything against him for it. Ack! There it was again! He was losing himself to the little things Bansai did or said. Why? Why...? 

... 

He had called as soon as he could. As soon as he had a moment to get outside and take a breath of fresh air in the scorching heat. Hijikata had called Gintoki. And by the sound of things, he was suffering from the dire heat. Apparently the China Girl and the Spectacles had gone out to find a nice, cool spot somewhere, away from the heat within the apartment. Didn't they have air conditioning? Well, Hijikata said over the phone that he was just finishing off his shift and that he would come over promptly. It was a bit of a hassle, but since Hijikata had airconditioning in his apartment, it would be a little cruel not to invite Gintoki over to cool down. Thinking that: why did people call him the "Demonic Vice-Chief" again? Oh, yes, because he makes his co-workers work in blistering hot conditions, interogating criminals and getting better results due to his short temper-which was even shorter in this weather. And there was also the fact that he had all the anpan from the vending machines removed because of Yamazaki's weird, little "addiction". 

Thank god for elevators-the new one in the apartment complex lobby. It was a hot, cramped space but it was a hot, cramped space for mere seconds. With the click of a button, the elevator doors shutting, Hijikata waw taken straight to the top floor. He had to bear the heat for a little while longer, and that was it. As the elevator made its way to the top, Hijikata thought about the simple-but amazing-things he could do when inside his apartment, now that his shift was over until the evening. A bath, change of clothes, and a few hours of peace and-...Oh, wait. Scratch the last one. After all, Gintoki was coming over. It wasn't necessarily a bad thing to see Gintoki, the apple of his eye and whatnot. But, around him, peace and quiet was rare. Now, it wasn't that he was loud and obnoxious-anyone who really knew Gintoki would understand that-so it may have just been the fact that he...has certain qualities that even Hijikata didn't know about. Again, for some reason, in Hijikata's perspective, that wasn't really a bad thing either. It wasn't...too bad. It was something he got used to, actually. 

As expected, in a few seconds, the elevator stopped and the doors opened, creaking and squeaking here and there-for a brand new elevator. He exited, the two apartments at the other end of the hall, facing eachother. Loosening up his tie, Hijikata headed for Gintoki's apartment first to go get him. He did say that Gintoki was invited, so...With a knock on the door, it didn't take too long for Hijikata to receive a reply. The door opened swiftly, and there he was once again. His tee-shirt was damp with sweat, strands of his silver hair sticking to his forehead, his cheeks flushed red, like Gintoki had just ran a twenty-mile marathon. In other words, he looked like shit. 

"Oh, there you are~. I missed you". What a greeting... 

"Knock it off, will ya? And what kind of greeting is that. It-...it's weird, and in bad taste". 

"Ooh, someone's grumpy. Well join the freakin' club". Gintoki's mood changed in an instant, his true mood surfacing as he furrowed his sweaty brow and crossed his arms. 

"Ugh...You reek of sweat...". 

"Gee, thanks. Although you don't exactly smell like teenager's perfume". 

"Why teenagers?" 

"Uh, Kagura wears that stuff sometime to fit in. It's sweet-smelling stuff compared to what a lot of women's perfume smells like". 

"Oh, I...see..". 

"Anyway, you smell like crap. Can we go into your apartment now?" 

Hijikara rolled his eyes. He had no choice, since it was the only apartment out of the two with working air conditioning. Besides, he was thick-skinned. Gintoki's comments rarely got to him anymore, being around him so often. Besides, he acknowledged his own stink and intended to deal with it as soon as possible. They both entered the apartment. The first move was to turn on the air conditioning and...Well, they could cross that bridge when they got to it...almost immediatly after turning on the air conditioning. Hijikata loosened his tie until the knot was undone. He opened two or three buttons on his shirt, which was damp with sweat. Obviously... 

""Okay...". He began, muttering, as he placed down his badge on the coffee table in the living room. "I think we should...clean up". He suggested the obvious, sighing with his hands on his hips. "You, erm...You go first, Gintoki. I have to pick out a change of clothes anyway". 

"...Are you sure you wanna do this?" Gintoki asked, smirking rather impishly. Hijikata was, of course, in a brief state of puzzlement at this question with that questionable smirk across Gintoki's flushed face. Again, because of the heat. We're not going "there" just yet... 

"Wh-what do you...?" 

"Gintoki approuched..."Y'know...". Uttering those words softly, as if trying to lure Hijikata in with such a soft manner. "You say that thing where it's like "you go first" then I argue and say you should go and then you say I should go first and blah, blah, blah". Gintoki swerved his arms around Hijikata's waist when close enough, beginning to undo the rest of his shirt. "But, y'see, I'm gonna cut to the chase and just say it; why don't we...take a bath together?" 

"Uh-...!" 

"And before you get all embarrassed, you tsundere bastard you, I will say now that there's nothing wrong with two fully grown adults taking a bath together without doing anything. It's normal. Totally normal...and nice...and romantic...". 

"I don't have a problem with too grown adults taking a bath without doing anything. My problem is a fully grown adult taking a bath with you! What's with that perverse face?! It's making me paranoid! You plan to do something-I know you!" 

"Awh, you're so mean. Gin-san's gonna cry if you're that mean~. Hijikata-kun~". Gintoki stuck out his bottom lip, wearing those puppy eyes that Kagura shows whenever she wants something. Yes...When she "wants" something. 

"I said knock that shit off! It's creepy!" 

"Fine, fine. But I see no problem in taking one together. And I promise not to do anything while we're in the tub. Cross my heart". Gintoki slid his fingers across his chest, making an invisible cross over his heart. "Besides...". He continued on. "Do you know how painful it is to have sex in a bathtub? "Let's do it in the bathtub", she said. "It'll be fun" she said. My knees were in agony afterwards". 

"Uh, Gintoki...". 

"Yeah...?" 

"What's this gotta do with your age-old sex life?" 

"Nothing, goddamn it! I said nothing! Now, you can go in first because I have to get my own change of clothes. Something appropriate".

"Haa, alright. Hurry up". 

"Awesome...Be right back. Make sure the water's nice and warm~". 

Hijikata's heart throbbed, his face flushing more as Gintoki leaned in to place fake kisses on Hijikata's cheek, his face up close and personal. Embarrassed and annoyed-just a little-Hijikata pushed Gintoki's face away. Gintoki chuckled to himself, savouring Hijikata's sweet, sweet reaction to all the teasing. Man, how he enjoyed messing with that guy. Really, it was a beautiful sight. The apartment fell silent, the sound of Gintoki entering his own apartment was distant, but audible as Hijikata stood there in total silence. Not even a sigh escaped in his best attempt to remain calm and composed. Gintoki did make a good point earlier, about how two adults could share a bath and not do anything intimate. It wasn't the first time, anyway. Yet, getting all flustered and disoriented over something so ridiculous made it feel like the first time all over again. This feeling was so dislikable, yet it lingered and stuck around for tue longest time. An annoyance. An annoyance he couldn't seem to get rid of. That phrase was certainly close to home...Way too close to home. 

... 

"Ack! Do you have to be so rough?!"

"Shut it. It ain't my fault that your V-hair was stickin' to your forehead, and it got all gross. I'm just cleanin' out all the...icky stuff". 

"You sound like a child when you put it that way". 

"So? I think you like my childish charm". 

"Not even a little bit. Being a "child at heart" doesn't suit such a perverse man like you". 

"Oi, don't put those two words together in the same sentence. You're making me sound like scum. Now sit still. Don't want shampoo going in your eye, do you? I don't want another Takasugi in my life. That being a really pissed off guy with one good eye, and a lot of hatred towards me". 

"Hah...You two go way back, huh?" 

Gintoki retracted his hands from Hijikata's hair, feeling that he did a thorough job. He picked up the wash basin from the floor, raising it to a fair height above Hijikata's head. 

"Okay, you might wanna hold your-". 

"Waaah...!" Gintoki, without much of a warning, dumped the basin of water over Hijikata's head. The sudden deathly chill that smacked against Hijikata's back was truely horrific. 

"...breath". Gintoki finished his sentence-right after dunking the damn thing-in a nonchalant tone. He was just messing with Hijikata at this point, wasn't he? Angered, Hijikata pushed his bangs back swiftly with his fingers before sharply looking over his shoulder. The anger was clear on his face, the furrow in his brow quite deep. 

"Asshole! That-guh...God, it got in my nose...". Hijikata covered his nose with his hand, his eyes watering from the slight pain that was inflicted up his nostrils and possibly into his thick skull. 

"You okay there, Mr. Grumpy Pants? Wanna tissue?" 

"I'm seriously going to kill you". His threat was a lot less intimidating through the nasal in his voice, therefore passed by Gintoki like how lessons from his high school math's teacher used to. 

"Relax. I'm sure you'll feel a lot less tense once we're in the bath. I'll just wash your back now, okay?" 

"Haa...Fine". 

"Good. Now turn around so I can clean you up properly". Hijikata was hesitant, but he turned his back to Gintoki once again. "Good boy. Sit still for me, will ya?" 

"If you keep saying shit like "good" and "good boy", I will definitely kill you". 

"That's a bit extreme. C'mon, I'm only teasing you". 

Hijikata's brow was still furrowed, unamused by Gintoki's teasing. With his cocky and sadistic attitude, teasing Hijikata was a breeze. Gaining a reaction seemed even easier. Despite being so used to Gintoki's general attitude, some things still got under Hijikata's skin. If the heat was still lingering in the apartment, Hijikata would have snapped already. He wouldn't say that being around Gintoki keeps him calm-as that certainly is never the case-but being around him was a lot less taxing now, aside from the teasing and the occassional, petty arguments that they had. 

"Okay, okay. Sorry...I know you're just teasing but...it really pisses me off sometimes". 

"Don't I know it...". 

... 

Gintoki was the last one out of the bathroom, since he had originally left his change of clothes in there. A cloud of steam burst out from inside the bathroom when Gintoki made his exit, ruffling his damp hair with a towel before slinging it around his shoulders and nape. Hijikata sat on his bed, cell phone in hand. He appeared to be looking over a text message. Gintoki sat right beside him, peering over in curiosity to check out this message for himself. It appeared to be from his boss, Kondo. 

"...Is that one of those modern cellphones? What're they called?" 

"Touch-screens". 

"Oh...Right, I thought I saw one of those before, in some magazine advertisement. Kagura had been nagging me to buy one for her, since she's sick of using the house phone". 

"Well, why not? Girls her age should be able to have a cellphone of her own, so she can call her friends and organise meet-ups. You know, what normal teenagers do these days". 

"Mm...I don't get what the big fuss is anyway, having your eyes glued to a little screen all day". 

"It can be distracting, if you've got too much time on your hands, or a lot of contacts". 

"Do you have a lot of contacts?" 

"Nah. I didn't get this phone until a few weeks ago, so Kondo-san and you are my only contacts. I don't really intend to have that many". 

"Ohh, so that was the new phone number you gave me. I just thought you changed your old one for some reason". 

"Why the hell would I do that?!" 

"Dunno. A stalker found your number?" 

"Uh, no, I don't think I have to worry about anything like that". 

Gintoki shrugged. "You never know. Some people are really creepy, and you can't even tell just by lookin' at them". 

"Right...but, still, I think I'm safe". 

"Lucky you...". Gintoki shuddered, fearing that one day his stalker would find his phone number and leave masochistic messages on his answering machine. Yeah, that sounded like something she would do. Gintoki looked over the text again, catching a glimpse of its contents before Hijikata swiftly turned off his phone, as if to politely say "it's none of your business, so don't bother looking". 

"I'm getting a little hungry". Hijikata said, lying back with his forearms and elbows keeping him firmly propped up on the matress. "I don't think I have much, but if you'd like I could make something simple. Eggs, pancakes, about a dozen sandwiches maybe...We could just stay here until my night shift tonight". 

"Yeah, that sounds good, I guess...but...". Gintoki lowered himself down to Hijikata's level, lying on his side. With a hand on Hijikata's chest, Gintoki placed a few affectionate kisses along and around Hijikata's cheekbone. "While we're here, why don't we do something fun, hmn?" 

"...!" Obviously, inevitably, Gintoki's words stunned Hijikata and forced his hand to push a very forward and perverse Gintoki away, just enough to cease the affectionate kisses and the slight groping of his chest. "No! No, no, no! Don't even think about it, you fuck!" His protests were made loud and clear, although Hijikata was obviously not of sound mind when conveying his protests. He was actually quite flustered and angry. 

"Why not? You said you have to go back tonight, and tomorrow, and all week, so I won't be able to see you for quite a while. So, while we're together, I would like to give you a week's worth". 

"Like hell you will!" Hijikata swatted Gintoki's face away, ready to slap his forehead next. "It's the middle of the day, you fucking pervert! Besides, you said you weren't going to do anything!" 

"Ah, ah, ah~. I didn't break my promise, ya know. I said I wouldn't do anything while we were in the bathtub. I didn't make any promises outside of that one, remember?" 

"Ah-...! You...! Still! We're not gonna have sex in the middle of the day! Don't you have any self-control?!" 

"I dunno...I think I've actually gained some self-control around you, since our relationship isn't just sex. However...". Gintoki scooped up one of Hijikata's hands, holding it quite firmly as he brought the fingers to his lips. He placed a kiss, smiling down at Hijikata sincerely. "Sometimes it's a little hard to control myself, seeing you get all flustered and embarrassed 'cause of me". 

"...". 

"Look, I even came pre-prepared". 

"...?" 

Gintoki reached into his sweatpants pocket, pulling out a small, square wrapper (no point questioning what that was) and a very small, green, plastic tube. 

"See? And, look, it's ribbed for your pleasure". 

"You are such an ass! You didn't cave in just now! You planned this in the first place, you pervert! And you were shameless enough to buy a ribbed condom?! I loathe you! I really, really loathe you right now!" 

"It won't hurt too much, since I brought lube as well. C'mon~, I'll be gentle, unless you say otherwise". 

"There's just no end, is there?! We're not doing it! End of story! Now before I lose my patience and beat the living shit out of you, do you mind getting off of me? And put those things away, too, it's-...?!". 

Out of nowhere, in the midst of Hijikata clear and sound protests, Gintoki's expression quickly changed. He was no longer smug, but he wore a guilty and solemn expression instead that surprised Hijikata. It really surprised him. 

"I-it was worth a shot...". Gintoki muttered, his tone giving off the impression that he was embarrassed as well as guilty. Seeing him look that way, over something like this, was truely bizarre. "I guess I was a little too pushy about it. I just wanted to have a nice afternoon with you, since I wouldn't be able to see you for the next week. You know I wouldn't force you to do anything you didn't wanna do. So I do understand if you just want to relax a little before going back to work. It's such a shame, though...I really thought this could be kinda special, and new and exciting. It-It was stupid of me anyway, so...Y-yeah, I'll get off of you now. We can do something nice and mundane, yeah?" 

Hijikata, seeing Gintoki's usual attitude suddenly flip into this apologetic scene, internally groaned as his own, weird guilt fell upon him. For what?! He wasn't going to force himself to have sex with Gintoki in the middle of the day, with those types of objects! Could he really take his words seriously? No...No, he couldn't. But seeing Gintoki act like this was far too weird. 

"Okay, okay, you bastard. You...You win". Hijikata sighed. Then, all of a sudden, Gintoki's eyes sparkled with hope. His dead fish eyes..."But! You are not putting it in! We can do "stuff", just...not "that". Got it?" 

"Yeah, yeah, I got it". 

Gintoki seemed to return to his old self, kissing Hijikata's forehead in thanks. What Gintoki was saying earlier...it was clearly an act. Knowing him, his pouting and guilty expression was fake. But it was too late to get angry now. As long as Gintoki refrained from exceeding his urges, then it was okay to go through with this. As long as it didn't go too far, then it was okay. It was...just fine. 

... 

(Here's another warning because I don't want people judging me. Please, don't judge me...).

Hijikata had to hold back his voice. The crimson red stain on his face, and the trembling of his whole body was enough. To let out his voice would be feeding Gintoki's sadistic nature. As long as it was "stuff' and not "that", then Hijikata could maintain at least a little bit of his composure. For about a minute already, Gintoki teased and played with both of Hijikata's nipples while licking, nipping and sucking on his neck-which, by the way, was discovered to be Hijikata's most sensitive spot. It made sense since he was a Taurus. The more you know.

"Gi-Gintoki, that...haa...That's enough already...That's-mmn! Mmph...". 

Cupping his hand over his mouth firmly, Hijikata squeezed his eyes shut to block out the whole room. It was natural for him to want to block out everything, including Gintoki. But the one thing he couldn't block out was every sensation that rippled through his entire body, his voice giving out on its own. Moving away from his neck, Gintoki swiftly pulled up and took a hold of Hijikata's hand to pull it away from his face, pressing his lips over Hijikata's in one breathtaking instant that caught him totally off guard. This was...This wasn't just "stuff" anymore. Nope. This was indeed...sex, in the afternoon, around lunchtime. At least, that's what the situation was slowly developing into. Who does this? Really-who does this? 

The heat radiating from Hijikata's face was enough to make Gintoki smirk with glee against the kiss, knowing that this was embarrassing Hijikata. Hands cupped on Hijikata's face, Gintoki made this kiss last. Even when Hijikata moaned and tried to resist a little, a string of drool sliding down his jawline: breathless, like he was drowning. That's the only way to describe this feeling; the inability to breathe, to think, to open his eyes as his chest heaved and his heart pounded against his ribcage-almost painfully-as Gintoki didn't hold back. When he did, when Gintoki allowed Hijikata to surface, a gasp and sigh escaped them both with heated breaths. The thread of saliva broke between them, their lungs forcing out each heavy breath unevenly. Hijikata wore an irritated expression, wiping off the drool from his chin with the back of his hand. 

"The...The hell are you doing?" He panted, a little dazed. "You trying to...su-...suffocate me?" 

"Oops. Sorry, I just...lost myself for a second. Hah...Y'know, you look, haa, really precious right now. Haha-ouch!" Hijikata finally inflicted that harsh slap to the forehead, leaving a temporary mark on Gintoki's forehead. 

"Listen...whatever you want to do, just get it over with-but keep it to a minimum. I don't have that much stamina". 

"Hah, you say that but...haah...I know you to be quite energetic in bed. Anywau, don't say that as if you don't wanna do stuff with me. Or do you hate it that much?" 

"It's not that I hate it. I simply don't want to go all the way right now. Okay?" 

"Mm...Okay, then. I'll try to control myself, but I'm not making any promises". 

"...Well, you'd better". 

"No can do". 

"Why you-Haah! Fwaah...!". Gintoki had pushed his knee between Hijikata's thighs, applying pressure in the center. His smirk grew into an impish grin. 

"Wow, you're, uh, pretty hard, aren't ya? Just because I touched your n-". 

Hijikata cupped his hand over Gintoki's mouth, quickly. "Don't. Say it. Out loud". He muttered, baring his figurative fangs. Gintoki carefully retracted Hijikata's hand from his lips, his smile resisting to fade. 

"Fine, but I have to ask...How do you want me to take care of this? My hand or my mouth?" 

"Are you-...Are you seriously asking me that question?!" 

"Yeah, duh. Come on, don't be shy. I'll make it nice and quick too". 

"Like hell you will!" 

"Come on...I will. And...I hope that you can do something similar for me, since you are the reason I'm also-" 

"Stop blaming me for your libidos! I'll cut it off, if it's that much of a pain!" 

"Woah, woah, woooaah, we don't need to go there. All you have to do is tell me your preference and I'll play fair. Isn't intamacy supposed to be two-sided?"

"...". Hijikata grumbled and fidgeted, averting his eyes away from Gintoki's. No matter what mood that guy was in, his gaze was always so mocking...most of the time. "Th-then use your...Mm...Use you're...mmph...". Hijikata mumbled under his breath. 

"What was that? I can't hear you if you mumble". 

"Grr...! Your...m-mouth...Use your mouth, so that it's...done quickly". 

"Woooh! Hijikata's so dirty~". 

"Shut up! Besides, using your mouth will, in fact, shut you up!" 

"Haha, okay, fine. Not that I mind, anyway. You make the cutest noises from it, so I'm happy". 

"...Don't be happy about that...". His hand. Goddammit, he should have said "his hand"! It wasn't too late to take it back, but...but...! Gintoki stripped Hijikata of his sweatpants, dragging them off first, and foremost. Hijikata, silently wishing that this wouldn't drag out too long, turned his head away once the cool breeze from the air conditioning swooped in between his legs and formed itty-bitty goosebumps across them. He felt foolish. 

"...? Hijikata, if you don't want me to-really-then I won't. You can take it back and tell me to use my hand instead". 

"...No, it's really okay. Just don't tease me". 

"...You sure?...Okay, then. Roger that". Gintoki planted a single, soft kiss on Hijikata's cheek in reassurance. It felt like he was trying to be reassuring, anyway. 

Gintoki crawled backwards, slowly and steadily until he faced Hijikata's waist and crotch area. Hijikata, without hesitating, averted his eyes once more from tue scene taking place from below. He could already feel the heat spreading across his skin, the goosebumps rippling over his limbs. His fingers tugged and gripped onto the bedsheets-two spots above his head-tightly. He didn't feel prepared, at all, despite already experiencing this moment before, with Gintoki. The first time was the most difficult, as it had been his first time receiving one of those. He wasn't used to it, but remembered that it finished quickly-much to his embarrassment. 

His boxer briefs were lowered just below his hips, and then..."Haah! Haah...A-aa! Mmh!" Hijikata pulled up his tee-shirt, holding the collar over his mouth to muffle his voice. He pressed the material between his lips in his struggle to hold back his voice, squeezing his eyes shut. 

Here's where it gets graphic... Gintoki placed the head between his lips, sucking gently. Even though it did obviously startle Hijikata, he didn't intend to rush. With one hand, and his forearm, he remained balanced on the bed. With the other, he grasped Hijikata's thigh, keeping his leg propped up-and at a distance from his head, in case Hijikata decided to clamp around it. Gintoki closed his eyes, taking his actions slowly. The sudden heat, the pressure, and the pleasure toppled over Hijikata all at once. His face was flushed, the most sensitive place on his body engulfed in heat and this soft, soft pressure that brought out every soft moan from the back of his throat. 

Gintoki curved his arm around Hijikata's thigh, locking it in place, giving him a free hand to stroke out Hijikata's orgasm. But the sudden action, thus far, only provoked more moans-and even whines-of pleasure. Hijikata was struggle to hold back his voice. 

"Mm-mnn! Mmph...hmm! Nn-nnmph...n-nmm! Hmn...!" Hijikata's toes curled and flexed, his head thrusting back against the matress when Gintoki engulfed more and more, running his lips up and down quite skillfully. He said he wouldn't tease, but...for once-and just once-he scraped his teeth over the base. "Mn-nn! Na-haah...N-no...Don't-...Don't use your t-tee-eek! Ah! Uah! Haah...n-nngh! Ha, hah...G-Ginto-uah! Eeyah...!". 

Hijikata arched his back, savouring the sweet sensation that caused his reflexes to hold back his release. He didn't want to, but he couldn't stop himself from clamping up. Despite his need to hold it all in, Gintoki could taste the leak that poured out from within his mouth. Bitter and salty, he wanted to pull away and catch his breath. But he had a strong suspicion that Hijikata would whine and complain about not getting his release. So, for the amount of time left before Hijikata would let it all out, Gintoki persisted and pushed on to give Hijikata exactly what he wanted-what he needed. It took a little speed, and a little, sneaky teasing, though.

"Ee-eeyah-hah! Aah, haa! Gh-ghah! Haa! Gin-...toki...! I can't-...mmh! Au-auh! It's going to-...! I'm gonna-ah! Aah!" 

This had gone quite far. Farther than Hijikata intended. His mind drew a blank, unable to utter any kind of protest that would stop Gintoki. This was...disastrous. Hijikata gasped sharply, reaching his climax. His moans dragged out, and they were vocal. Very vocal. Gintoki pulled away as soon as possible, wiping his chin and lips with his hand. He swallowed whatever entered his mouth, despite he foul taste. 

"Hijikata, are you alright?" In reply, Hijikata gave a weak nod...eventually. His chest heaved, and his cheeks were bright red. Of course they were. There was no surprise there. 

""Haa...Just...gimme a minute to rest. I feel...a little faint". 

"Take your time...". 

Gintoki was also flustered. Of course, from watching Hijikata and from making him feel all sorts of things, Gintoki had naturally become aroused himself. He did say that he wouldn't go as far as to penetrate...However, he was losing himself again. He wanted Hijikata to feel good. He...wanted to feel good, too. It was honestly quite difficult to break such a sincere promise, since Gintoki tried to be a man of his word. If he received Hijikata's permission...that would be a different story. Allowing Hijikata to rest and collect his bearings, Gintoki cupped his face, caressing Hijikata's hot cheek, the skin moist with sweat and even tears-tears that Gintoki refrained from mentioning. He reminded himself; "Hijikata didn't cry. His eyes were simply watering from the pleasure. Nothing more". It was a simple reminder that reassured Gintoki, clarifying that Hijikata could keep his dignity this way. After all, he wasn't a sentimental man. Neither of them were. He wasn't crying. His eyes were simply watering; he reminded himself once more. 

"You sure you're okay?" 

"Yes, I'm fine. Out of it, and dizzy, but fine". 

"Good...That's good". Brushing away the loose, and damp, strands of hair was a good start. All Gintoki had to do was make his request. The heat and the throbbing was nothing short of unbearable by now, after all. "Hey, Hijikata, do you trust me?" 

"What's that supposed to mean? In what way?" 

"...I...I kinda have to break my promise to you". 

"You mean, you...want to have sex...". It wasn't a question. It was a statement. He knew where Gintoki was going. But his answer to that, well... "I...I mean, you know that I didn't want to before...I made it perfectly clear and-". 

"Hijikata...Come on. To tell ya the truth, I'm reaching my limit here. I wanna do it with you. Right now, I don't give a damn about the time of day. Yeah, I know I shouldn't force you to do stuff you don't wanna do-and I totally understand tha- but...this is...I don't think anyone's given me such strong, but weird, urges before. I mean, I've been horny and outta control before, but not like this. It's different, in a weird way. Y'know?" 

"That's...You're such a pervert...". 

Hijikata, once again, found himself hesitating. It would go against his previous arguments, but...Gintoki, with his cheeks that red, and his smile that sincere, Hijikata was conflicted. But only for a moment or two. Despite the time of day, despite his shift to come during the evening, Hijikata...He...He didn't want this to physically hurt Gintoki. As Gintoki said before, despite his stupid tone, "intimacy is two-sided". 

"Alright...fine. But only once, and you have to be gentle. As gentle as possible". 

"Yeah, you got it...". 

Wrapping his arms around Gintoki's neck, Hijikata pulled him down closer and closer until their foreheads met first, then their lips came together. They smooched, affectionately, Gintoki's nose pressing against Hijikata's soft cheek as their tongues pressed together, and their lips repeatedly parted and pressed together, parted and pressed together in their kiss. Their sweet, tender kiss. The smell of sweat returned, although more bearable. They were both excited, a little more so than before when their actions felt almost forced and unwanted-on Hijikata's part. He felt foolish...Really foolish. 

Gintoki was the one to move away from their kiss, reaching over for the very small, green tube. It clicked open, and a transparent fluid was squeezed onto Gintoki's fingers, on his left hand. This would only take a moment or two. 

"Hijikata, I know I made a fuss trying to convince you to, uh, lemme do this but...are you sure you wanna...let me?" 

"...I think...I think it doesn't bother me, as long as you let me give you conscent. You did just say you wouldn't force me, after all. And here I am, giving you conscent, so...go ahead". 

"Right, okay...In that case, thanks. I'll be gentle, like always". 

"You'd better be...".

Gintoki spread out one of Hijikata's legs, using his clean hand to removed Hijikata's boxer briefs. With his lubed up fingers, he reached out and made the first bold move by adding in two fingers at once. Naturally, Hijikata had tightened up at this. 

"H-haah...A-ah! M-mmn! Hah, hah...a-agh!" Hijikata's legs twitched, his breathing uneven and heavy. 

"How is it? Does it hurt?" 

"N-no...It just feels cold and w-mmh...w-weird...". 

"Then try to relax. I'll try to get this done quickly". 

"Hah...easy for you to say...". Hijikata smirked, despite the situation. Once Gintoki had pushed his fingers in as far as they could go, he began to move them and wriggled them and rub them against Hijikata's walls. For that, Hijikata's smirk disappeared. "Gh! Ha-haah...M-mn! Nn! Ha-a-ah! Haah...A-ack! Nh-nhah! Hah! Haa! G-Gintoki...w-wait...s-stop-mng!...moving them around s-so, haah, m-much...Ah! Aah!" 

Hijikata arched his back, and thrust his hips up on reflex. His fingers gripped the bedsheets so tightly that his knuckled turned white, almost as if he was about to tear the sheets apart with that kind of force. 

"Did that feel good?" Gintoki asked, feeling quite proud himself. The fact that he was the one causing this-Hijikata's pleasure and pain-...It made Gintoki feel like he won a goddamn medal for best giver. 

Hijikata didn't answer his question, covering his mouth-not only prevent his moans from escaping but-to stop himself from answering that kind of question in his hazy state. Gintoki let it pass, assuming that it did indeed feel good-maybe even amazing. Yes, Gintoki was that sure of himself. He continued, trying to rub that particular spot as many times in order to observe Hijikata's reactions. It was a little mundane, seeing as he was trying to hide his voice again. So, with his free hand, Gintoki pulled away that hand and held it firmly above the matress and above Hijikata's face. He couldn't hide anything anymore. 

"Gh-ah! G-Gintoki, no! I...I...Hh-haah! Aah! Nh! Nn-nhah! A-auh! Hah...S-stop...! Stop t-teasing me...I'm going to...again...! Haah, haa! Haa! A-ahh! Ah! Nhah! Hah!" 

With three fingers, Gintoki brought Hijikata to yet another release. Seeing that, his own patience was wearing thin. This was...starting to hurt. He couldn't wait much longer. He pulled out his fingers as Hijikata caught his breath. No, Gintoki definitely couldn't wait anymore. 

"Hijikata...". He whispered, flustered. "Can I...". He lowered his sweatpants and boxers, picking up the condom wrapper by Hijikata's waist. "...put it in?" 

"Haah...Don't ask me...You seem ready enough...B-but just...". 

Gintoki tore open the sachet with his teeth, pulling out the condom. He slipped it on, unable to wait anymore. He could apologise to Hijikata later for this. For rushing him a little... 

"W-wait, Gintoki, I just...I just came...! I can't-...!" 

Gintoki raised up Hijikata's legs, pushing them back as far as they could go until his entrance was in reach. Gintoki grasped them by the knees, moving himself forward and guiding himself inside. The condom was ribbed, so...would it hurt if he rushed? He didn't think as he made one, quick thrust inside and slammed into Hijikata's hips with a gasp. 

"Aah! Aaaah! Haah! Hah! Haa!" 

Hijikata arched his back, thrusting his head back as Gintoki filled him up in just a few seconds. His legs quaked, and the rest of his body below his neck trembled. This feeling...It rubbed against Hijikata's walls, poking and proding all sorts of spots as Gintoki twitched and pulsed inside. It, somehow, didn't hurt that much. But it felt tight, hot and a little uncomfortable. Gintoki panted heavily against Hijikata's neck, his fingers shaking as he tried to gripped Hijikata's legs as firmly as possible, even when he pressed his nails into the skin. 

"Hiji-...hah, haah, haa...Hijikata...can I move?" 

"Haa...You ask the...worst questions, you know that? Haah...O-okay...Go ahead, but take...take it slowly...". 

"Right, haah...Got it...".

Slowly, just like he said, Gintoki pulled his hips all the way back. He then, slowly, pushed his hips forward and squeezed himself back in. The sensations provoked a few gasps and soft moans thus far. Nothing else that would cause either of them to lose their voices.

"Haa-hah! Haahaah...Gin-Gintoki...This...This feels-nn! Nnh! It feels...w-weird! Really weird! Haa, haah! Hah! G-gah...Haah...". 

"Is it...a good weird?" 

"I don't know...I can't-nnh! Nn! Nha-hah! A-ack! N-no, don't...don't speed up yet! G-G-Gintoki!" 

"Hah...Sorry, but I feel like I'm losing my mind...This is...starting to feel really good...haa...aah...". 

A few pecks were planted on Hijikata's face, a few kisses marked across his neck. Holding on leg, his hand sliding down Hijikata's bare thigh, Gintoki used his other hand to stroke Hijikata's erection as it became hard, twitching at Gintoki's touch. 

"Hah! Haah! N-no! Not...Not there! Gintoki! Ha-ah! Ahn! Hhah! Sto-stop it! A-ah! Aah! Nnh! Nng! M-mmn!" 

"Don't hold back your voice. Haah...Wow, either way, I guess you're pretty cute...". 

"Sh-shut up, damn pervert-yah! A-aah! Hah! Haah! M-mn! N-nhah! Hah! No-oh! Wait! Ah! Aahn!" 

"Haha, bet it feels good now...Haah...It's so soft...". 

"I-I said-a-ah! Ah?! A-aah! Haah! Haah! Gh-gha! Haah! N-nnh! N-no! Noo! This feels...Aah! Ahn! Ahhn!" 

Hijikata had tightened up a lot, his toes curling and his voice escaping loudly. His eyes were watering and his whole body was hot, especially at the pit of his stomach and his insides that were being rubbed and prodded in the same, senstive spots. He had lost total control. Hijikata could feel his release coming, ready to burst. Gintoki wasn't too far away either. Leaning down swiftly, Gintoki captured Hijikata's lips in an open-mouth kiss. Their moans vibrated, almost painfully, against eachother's moist lips. And, with a few more big thrusts from Gintoki, Hijikata thrust his head back away from the kiss, squeezing his eyes shut as he cried out. He tightened up, releasing from both ends simultaneously. With Hijikata squeezing around him to desperately due to that final thrust, Gintoki climaxed too. He moaned loudly, his vision turning white for a moment in this daze of pleasure and excitement. It was then, after they ejaculated and got everything out of their system, that they collapsed in a heap one on top of the other. Their lungs felt almost crushed against their ribs as they heaved and panted-their bodies covered in sweat and heat. It felt like they were back outside again, having to bear summer from the bedroom. Another bath was...ideal. 

... 

Gintoki leaned over the kitchen counter, a spare fork in hand as he made his way through a plate of eggs on toast. Once again, he had to change clothes-borrowing Hijikata's sweatpants. And only his sweatpants. He looked up from his dish, watching Hijikata clear up his own plate quietly. Right about now, it was a little past two o'clock in the afternoon. Even Gintoki felt a little weird for having sex during the day. But it was nice. The part before having to clean up, obviously...Hijikata hadn't spoken much, so Gintoki suspected that he was angry. He knew the answer already, but talking seemed to be the only way to resolve this. 

"Are you angry?" Gintoki asked, in all its simplicity. Hijikata raised his gaze from the sink as he filled the basin up with hot water. He looked at Gintoki, his expression neither sullen nor contemptuous. Was he hiding his anger? Because he wasn't very good at doing that in the first place. 

"About what?" He asked, quite plainly-lacking any kind of emotion that would convey anger. 

"You know what...I mean, I did kinda persuade you to...y'know, even when you clearly said-". 

"Do you feel bad about it?" That question caught Gintoki off guard, but Hijikata held a sincere and serious expression. 

"I...I suppose-a little bit. You know I wouldn't force you to do stuff like that if you really didn't want to, and I kinda...did something selfish so...Y-yeah, I feel a little bad". 

Gintoki didn't usually feel guilty for his actions. He stood by them, even when he was clearly in the wrong-and that was a good ninety-eight percent of the time. But this type of situation was serious, and he was selfish asking Hijikata to fufill his needs even when Hijikata said no in the first place. Hijikata did give consent in the end, although it felt forced in the beginning. This was the first time Gintoki had ever expressed remorse, so what could Hijikata do? If he was really sorry, and as long as Hijikata did give conscent to it, then, well... 

"Good. I'm not really angry, even though I should be. But if you're sorry-and I mean, really, really sorry-then we can just drop it and move on, alright? And...as long as you don't do it again. Now, finish with your plate so I can wash it". 

"Right-o...". Gintoki scooped up the last of his meal, passing the empty plate to Hijikata. 

This didn't seem like a topic to brush off so easily. But it wasn't like Gintoki held any harmful intent-and Hijikata knew that. Maybe that's why he was so forgiving. Gintoki was an idiot and a pervert, but he wouldn't do anything to purposely harm Hijikata. Never. Feeling this...weird guilt, Gintoki closed in on Hijikata, placing his hands over his hips before sliding them around Hijikata's waist and stomach. Hijikata didn't even flinch, continuing with his chore, allowing Gintoki to hold him and place. He didn't stick around though; swerving 'round to plant a kiss on Hijikata's cheek before moving away. 

"I'm gonna go put on a shirt, and I'll return your clothes when I can". 

"Well, I don't think I'll be able to see you all week, so why don't you hang onto them? Store them in your closet until they're washed and until I see you again". 

"Okay, then. I'll hold onto them". 

As Gintoki headed towards the bedroom to pick up a clean shirt, with Hijikata's permission to pick one up, he looked back and watched Hijikata clean up. His heart still felt heavy from the earlier incident, but Hijikata was quite forgiving-moreso than he usually is. It was weird...But, he reminded himself that he would never hurt Hijikata on purpose. That was something he acknowledged. How he didn't want to cause Hijikata any kind of harm. Never...And Hijikata must have thought the same about Gintoki. Before, no matter what it was, it was always a case of "I'm gonna kill you", "I'm gonna beat the shit outta you", "I'm gonna arrest you, you bastard". Not like those kinds of threats stopped passing around. They just seemed...empty. Empty threats...with zero intent to hurt one another. That probably explained why Gintoki's heart was so heavy. 

"Man...It's too hot for this...". He mumbled under his breath as he entered the bedroom, blaming the heat for these thoughts in a cool, air conditioned room... 

... 

One Week Later... 

... 

["So, that's pretty much it. I'm free tomorrow, if you want to go out someplace"]. 

"Yeah, why not. I could use the fresh air, although it's still hot as balls outside". 

["Don't say hot as balls. That's...disturbing"]. 

Gintoki paced around the bedroom-his bedroom-with the phone's receiver in hand, and an impatient Kagura standing outside the door. She, too, paced around and pounded her fist against the door every now and then to get Gintoki's attention. He, of course, ignored the racket and continued to speak over the phone to Hijikata. 

["Anyway, do you have any idea what we could do tomorrow? I'm free all day, so..."]. 

"Hah...Um, well...". Gintoki sat on the edge of his bed, falling back with the receiver in hand. "I know what we could do...". 

("Gin-chan...!") Kagura yelled from the other side of the door, pounding her fist against the wood hard enough for the ground to shake-although not literally. ("Hurry up and get off the phone to your boyfriend! Stop flirting and lemme use the phone, you dork!") 

Gintoki retracted the receiver from his ear, covering the speaker with his hand to prevent Hijikata from hearing this. 

"He's not my boyfriend! And don't use that word!" He placed the handset by his ear again. "So, where were we?" 

["Is that the China Girl in the other room?"] 

"What? No...She's-...She's in bed. After all, she has to study tomorrow". He retracted the handset again. "Hear that, ya brat?! You've got studying to do! Go to bed!" 

("Not until you lemme use the phone!") 

Gintoki rolled his eyes, turning over on his stomach to face away from the door as it opened slowly. 

"Hey, I've gotta go. But we can talk more about our date tomorrow". 

["That's fine. I've got to get back to work anyway. I'll see you tomorrow, then"]. 

"Okay...See ya, Mr Policeman. Work hard, but not too hard". 

["I'll try. Goodnight..."]. 

"Night...". Gintoki hung up, letting out a huge sigh. "There, happy now?" He asked, looking over to Kagura as she approuched him. Or, the phone, to be exact. 

"That wasn't so hard now, was it? Pssh, took you long enough to say goodnight to your boyfriend". 

"He's not my boyfriend". 

"Then what is he?" 

"He's...err...It's a little complicated to explain to a kid your age. Just know that we haven't put a label on it". 

"Is it like...friends with benefits?" Kagura asked, although seemingly unsure of what that meant. She sat on the bed, crossing her legs. 

"Where did you learn that, exactly?" 

"Nana-chan said that her sister is in a friends with benefits relationship. I dunno what it means exactly, though. Is it like...two friends in a relationship, but they're still friends?" 

"Something like that. Anyway, Hijikata and I aren't like that. We were never really friends, but...". 

"I dunno, you two morons seemed pretty close even before you started going out". 

"Uuhh...No. Not really". 

"Yeah, you did". 

"No, we didn't". 

"Yeah. You did". 

"You picken' a fight, munchkin?" 

"Oh, you wanna go, permhead homo?" 

"Who're you callin' a permhead?!...I mean...Who're you callin' a homo?!" 

Kagura rolled her eyes, getting up off of the bed. She turned off the powerlet that was connected to the phone, unplugged it and took it under her arm. 

"Y'know, this would be a lot easier if you just bought a cellphone for me". 

"Buy it yourself. I'm not gonna spend money on something that makes you into an even brattier brat. What next? "Gin-chan, buy me a new dress", "Gin-chan, buy me make-up", "Gin-chan, take me to a hair salon so I can look like my best friend's middle aged mom". Y'know, that kinda brat" 

"Come on! Please, Gin-chan? I'd take good care of it~". 

"You said that about Sadaharu, and yet look at him! Are you the one who let him into the trash?" 

"No, I baby-proofed it, like you told me to". 

"So why does he smell like expired peanut butter and garbage? And, you know what, I'm gonna be the one to wash him and baby-proof the trash can, because you're not gonna do it!" 

"I would do it if I didn't have so much homework! And I have lots of it! So get off my back!"

"No way! Chores are a shared responsibility in this household since Shinpachi isn't around to do them! If I'm going down, I'm taking you with me!" 

"Like hell you will!" 

They were both incredibly frustrated at eachother, that much was clear from the heated, but petty fight going on. Kagura snarled at Gintoki, taking the phone as she headed to the door. 

"I never thought I'd say this, but I want my real Daddy!" 

"Well, I'm the best you've got! Now go to your room!" 

Kagura slammed the bedroom door, the whole room shaking for a mere moment before all went quiet. Kagura's frustrated stomping was the only noise that could be heard from outside. Gintoki groaned, dragging it out as he pressed his face into the matress. He was on the verge of screaming, wanting to let out all his frustration. He didn't. All that left his system was a heated sigh of utter exhaustion. He rolled on his back, grabbing a pillow as he went to hide his face away from the invisible man, judging him for yelling at Kagura over something as petty as a cell phone. Yep...He was being judged... 

... 

For about ten minutes of Gintoki's morning, he was keeping Sadaharu still while washing him in the kitchen's sink. The pungent stench of expired waste and plastic stuck to his fur. Reluctantly, Gintoki made the effort to clean him up-even if it was in the sink. Thank god he was such a small dog. That made the job of picking him up and washing him a lot easier. 

"Oi, this is for your benefit. Do you want a female dog to turn her nose up at you 'cause you stink like shit? That's what'll happen. So, for your own good, stay still". 

Sadaharu barked and shook himself to quickly dry off. Gintoki flinched, shielding his face with his arm as droplets of soap and water spat at him. Not that it helped, since Sadaharu now looked like a drowned rat. His fur stuck to his small body, damp and dripping. The small dog trembled, his ears flopping in displeasure. 

"It isn't that bad, so stop whining. Stay put, and I'll get your towel". 

From a short distance, lay a pre-prepared towel to dry Sadaharu off. With one hand, Gintoki gently kept Sadaharu still while the other promptly grabbed the big, fluffy towel. He picked him up, wrapping him up. Sadaharu shivered from underneath, a sad expression on his face-as if totally unaware of what just happened. 

"There ya go. Now you won't smell like crap anymore. Face it, I did a good job. Even if you now look like a drowned rat in an albino hair-dye factory". 

Very gentle, Gintoki lowered Sadaharu down onto the floor, crouching down. He ruffled the towel over his fur, making sure to be as gentle, but thorough, as possible to dry him. The towel was lifted, swaying in the air from the sudden action. Sadaharu, once again, shook his whole body. This incidentally, puffed out his fur. 

"Well...It's an improvement. You still look like a rat, only now in an electrical power plant. I'll just get your collar, and you're free to go". 

Gintoki stood back up, grabbing the collar from the kitchen counter before the sound of a door opening emitted from upstairs. Naturally, on reflex, Gintoki's gaze drifted to the upstairs hall and saw Kagura exit with a clear look of indifference affixed to her face. She walked down the brief flight of steps, sliding her hand down the banister. She hopped down, missing the last step as she made her way to the front door immediatly. 

"I'm going out". She stated quite firmly, her disdain attempting to pierce Gintoki's thick skin. 

"Have fun. If you're coming back at lunchtime, there's some soup in one of the cupboards. Stick it in the microwave if you're hungry". 

"...Tsk. Fine. I'm also taking Sadaharu out. Sadaharu~". She called to him, and he immediatly rushed over-although without a collar. 

Kagura picked up the leash from the hanger at the entranceway. As she crouched down, once again sorting out Sadaharu's needs before her own-namely her shoes-she paused and noticed the missing collar. Raising her head, she narrowed her eyes and waited for Gintoki to bring it over without saying a single word. He didn't have much choice here. 

"Here. Make sure to clean up after him". With a few steps to the entrance, Gintoki handed over the collar. And, simply out of spite, Kagura snatched it out of his hand. The collar was clipped on, as was the leash. Kagura slipped on her own shoes and made her exit out of the apartment. 

"See ya, Gin-chan...". And that was that. Silence once more, a moment with absolutely no closure, with the invisible man judging him from above-known as Gintoki's conscience. Where the hell had he been all this time? 

... 

The lock of the apartment door clicked, the heat of the hallway immediatly spreading over Gintoki's skin like goosebumps. Hijikata waited patiently, one hand stuff in his pant's pocket while the other flicked his lighter on and off. He wasn't allowed to smoke in the hallway, or the lobby, so he had to keep his mind occupied somehow. After a quick cup of iced tea from his apartment, he met up with Gintoki in the hallway for their date. A whole week without seeing Hijikata in casual wear-not to mention short sleeves. It was a weird aspect to get excited about, but Hijikata was the type of man who wore sweaters and buttoned-up shirts. Gintoki swirled his keys around his finger before stuffing them safely in his pant's pocket, along with his wallet. 

"Ready to go?" He asked, receiving a brief nod from Hijikata. 

"Where do you wanna go?" 

"Mmm...". Gintoki pondered, his stomach growling at the thought of food. Yes, that was what immediatly came to mind. "I'm kinda craving frozen yogurt right now. You?" 

"I was thinking more along the lines of sushi". 

"Meh, we can do both. Since you're free the whole day, we can go to a few places, if you'd like". 

"Sure, I don't mind". 

"Wanna hold hands, too~?" Gintoki wriggled his fingers in front of Hijikata as they walked to the elevator. Hijikata, of course, averted his gaze away from Gintoki's trademark, toothed grin. 

"Knock it off...". 

"Hey, I'm just kidding". Hijikata rolled his eyes, pushing the elevator button to take them down. Of course he was kidding-no sarcasm. Gintoki was obviously joking around, something to dismiss, something that Hijikata didn't take so seriously. What was the point of getting flustered by this point? 

... 

Even when faced with such hot climates, the closest sushi bar to the apartment complex was packed. That wouldn't have helped with the suffocating heat, but thank god for air conditioning. Ignoring the conveyor belt by their table, Gintoki and Hijikata looked over their menus quietly. Although, curious, Hijikata did raise his eyes from his menu. He lowered it, clearing his throat-subconsciously gaining Gintoki's attention. 

"So, erm, how have you been this past week? I'm only asking since we didn't get to speak that much over the phone". 

"It's been okay. I mean, aside from Kagura nagging Gin-san for a cellphone again". 

"I still think that you should buy one for her. It couldn't hurt". 

"...". 

"Like I said before, she's a teenager with friends, people to get in contact with. Anyway, you complain about how you have to share the house phone with her during the evenings. It could be good for her to have her own phone, learn how to use it". 

Hijikata filled out the small ticket for his order, passing his and Gintoki's to one of the chefs behind the counter/conveyor belt with a quick thanks. He then turned back to Gintoki, continuing the coversation. 

"Yeah, I guess you're right, but...". 

"But...? Why are you so stubborn? What do you think she could do that's so harmful?" 

"A-ahem...I'm not gonna explain my reasons to you, alright? Let's just drop it". 

"What, you think she'll get in contact with a complete stranger over something like social media? The China Girl's young, but she's not stupid". 

"I know, I know! And you make it sound like I'm doting over her or something". 

"Hah...But you are doting over her". 

"Am not". 

Hijikata shook his head to himself in disbelief. Gintoki was worried about her-any normal guardian would be, right? However, Gintoki rarely ever expressed such emotions. He kept them bottled up or conveyed them in a less sentimental or emotional way. They took their fresh orders, placing them over the table, before separating their chopsticks as they continued on. 

"Gintoki, be honest with yourself. You're worried about the China Girl". 

"W-well, pardon me if I'm wrong but you never know what type of creeps pop up on things like social media. I...I would feel responsible if she met anyone like that. I understand that brats like her should make her own mistakes and learn from them, but there's a huge difference between allowing her to make a few errors in her life and tossing her into the fire myself". 

"So you are worried. I understand your concern, but they have privacy settings on those things. Maybe you could help her set it up, make sure she's safe if you're so worried. And, who knows, she probably only cares about making phone calls or sending texts to her closest friends". 

"...Yeah, probably. Damn it...I feel weird now, like I am her dad or something. And I don't wanna be compared to that bald old man". 

"...I know". 

Hijikata held back a smile, gingerly covering his mouth with the back of his hand; pretending to chew his food. Gintoki was like a doting father. Now, that was a weird sentence but his words and worries were evident enough. And for a moment, Hijikata's smile faded. Although Hijikata's past was over-the days of his childhood only in memory-he felt this glow. It made him wonder...He thought, for just a moment--a mere second--"what if my father was like this?" Then it passed. It passed in an instant, knowing that he barely knew his old man and didn't care for him in the slightest. That was that. Looking at Gintoki, though...This change in his attitude, a whole other glow that curved Hijikata's lips into a smile. Gintoki, strangely enough, was like a second dad to those kids of his. It was strange, odd, unusual, and totally out of his usual character but he certainly cared enough to be like that second dad. No doubt about that... 

... 

The afternoon felt short, the time flying by when the intent was to spend as long as possible with Hijikata until he had to go back to work the next day. The elecator doors emitted a subtle "ping" before the doors opened at the correct floor. Hijikata exited first, plastic bag of frozen yogurt and coffee milk drinks in hand. Gintoki followed, carrying his own bag. He had been quiet for a brief amount of time, probably wondering if Kagura was home by now. Inviting Hijikata inside, they both entered Gintoki's apartment. The door was unlocked; Kagura was home after all. Gimtoki took a breath, being the one to enter first of all. At first glance, Kagura didn't appear to be idling around in front of the T.V or exploring the inside of the fridge for one of Gintoki's pudding cups. Must have been in her room.

"Uh, I'm gonna put this stuff in the fridge, if you don't mind". Hijikata suggested, holding up the plastic bag. "We can have it later, but I think you should talk to the China Girl". 

"I-I will...'Course I will. What are you gonna be doing?" 

"Um, I don't wanna get in the way, so...". 

"You know what, stick around in here, watch T.V or somethin'. I'll go see her in her, patch things up with her and we'll be one big, happy family again by dinnertime. That girl's a piece of work, but she's a good kid-I won't deny that". 

"Okay. Let's just hope she's not as stubborn and bullheaded as you".

"Oi! What did ya just say?! You really wanna fight?!" 

"...". 

"That's what I thought. Now wait here, I'll be back in a flash". 

Hijikata gave a brief nod, right before he removed his shoes and headed inside with Gintoki. Only, Gintoki walked further and headed up the stairs for Kagura's bedroom staitioned at the end of the small hallway. He knocked on the door, seeing no need to hesitate, and waited for her brief, indifferent approval to let him in. Good enough... Opening the door slowly was the first step, then peering through the ajar gap to see Kagura on her bed, playing video games on the Nintendo was the next step, supposedly? He entered, the first words coming to mind being: "hey buddy". To which Kagura furrowed her brow. 

"What is it, Gin-chan?" 

"Oi, oi, are you still angry 'bout last night? That's the difference between you and me, Kagura; I'm not the kinda guy to hold grudges for too long". 

"...Why's that?" 

"...'Cause, it's...Ack! I'm drifting off topic already. Look...". 

Gintoki sat down on the bed beside Kagura. She, surprisingly shifted closer, hanging her legs off the side of the bed as she listened intently, expecting an apology. Gintoki was a stubborn man who failed to apologise over the pettiest things, so Kagura had her doubts. But... 

"I thought about it, with the help of some...advice, and as much as it pisses me off when he's right, I went ahead and...W-well, here, see for yourself". 

Gintoki reached into the plastic bag that he had brought with him-seemingly a convenience store bag-and took out a small box. The way it was wrapped was half-assed, to say the least, with a glimmering, hot pink colour of wrapping paper. Ignoring it, Kagura took the gift from Gintoki and, naturally, unwrapped it. Of course, she had her suspicions but she never imagined it to be true. So, upon tearing up the unattractive wrapping paper, Kagura's eyes widened in total disbelief and a smile formed in joy. In her hands was a box, with a clear image of the latest model for a cellphone. 

"Haah! Thanks Gin-chan! You're the best!" Kagura cuddled the small box close to her chest, her grin wide and gleeful. 

"Now, slow down there. Just so you know, if you break it, I'm not gonna pay for repairs. You can buy your own key chains or covers or whatever they sell for them. Damn it...I feel stupid for giving into your wants. What am I, a rich kids dad or somethin'? Wait, Kagura-chan, when you're older, you're not gonna ask me for my credit cards or anything, will you? Will you?" 

Kagura shook her head frantically in understanding of his weird request. 

"Nope! I'm not gonna ask you for anything ever again!" 

"I highly doubt that". 

"Me too, but it's a nice thought, aru". 

Gintoki rolled his eyes, patting the top of Kagura's head. 

"Ah, I already had it set up for you, although I kinda needed Hijikata's help. I don't really get that stuff, so you can thank him as well when ya get the chance. And, well...enjoy, I guess. I'm gonna-". 

"Ah! Wait a moment, Gin-chan!" Kagura swiped Gintoki's wrist just as he got up from the bed, tue matress creaking beneath them acting as her cue. He did indeed wait, turning back. 

"What is it now? I left a little note for your password and stuff in the box, so the rest is all yours". 

"N-no, ahh...Not that. Just...Just sit back down". Kagura averted her gaze, puffing out her cheeks. Was she...embarrassed or something? 

Putting that aside, Gintoki sat back down and waited patiently for the little China Girl to speak her mind. She hesitated, and fidgeted, but her mind was made up in a few seconds--no more than that--when she let out a deep sigh that deflated her puffed out cheeks. 

"Haah...I...I'm real sorry for getting mad at you, and calling a permhead homo...a-and for saying that I prefered my real Daddy. Honestly, I don't know what I was thinking, aru. It kinda seems like I'm just sayin' this 'cause you bought the phone and everything, but...I am really sorry, Gin-chan". 

Gintoki, after a short periof of silence between them, pulled a faint smile and ruffled Kagura's hair. 

"What's this all about? Is the bullheaded China Girl actually apologising to this old man? Never thought I'd see the day. But, just to clear the air here, it's alright, Kagura. It's normal for people livin' under the same roof to fight over petty shit. I know that better than most people". 

"Do you mean...like what families do?" 

"...!...Uh, y-yeah, like that. I wouldn't worry about it too much. People fight, they make up, they forget about it the next day. But, y'know, there'll probably be a time in your life when stuff like that just doesn't happen. Sometimes, it's not that easy to make up with someone and forget about it. A lot of people hold grudges and sometimes they're stubborn enough to take it to their grave. And I hope to god you kids don't go down that road. 'Cause it's...painful, for everyone involved. You understand?" 

"...Uh, y-yep. I understand". 

"Good. Now, how about you come downstairs? The Mayora and I were just gonna watch T.V for a bit; relax before dinner, y'know". 

"Call him Hijikata, like you always do, you dork. Or just refer to him as your boyfriend". 

"He's not my boyfriend~". 

"Is too". 

"Is not". 

"He is too". 

"He is not". 

Their ramblings went on all the way to the door, immediatly stopping when coming out into the hallway. They met up with Hijikata downstairs, who was looking over his own phone, with the T.V blaring away to fill the silence. Gintoki, being the only one without those doo-hickeys, felt like a total outcast. Not that he cared much, since he knew for a fact that having a cellphone didn't suit him. As those two worked their way through apps and privacy settings, Gintoki watched the latest weather report, finger buried into his nose. His gaze drifted every now and then, his attention wavering over to those two, seemingly bonding over their toys. 

"Hey, Mayora, what's a..."SnapChat" for?" 

"Ahhh, don't-...Ignore that one. It's garbage". 

"Oh, okay...". 

Gintoki couldn't hold back a smile--even just a faint one--as he took a quiet appreciation for their little activity. It wasn't the activity itself, of course. Hijikata and Kagura were getting along better than they used to. She refrained from throwing kicks at him in Gintoki's defence, and held back her usual glares of disgust. This was a one-of-a-kind experience to see Kagura smile in front of Hijikata. It was nice. A decent scene that brought up certain...thoughts. Thoughts that Gintoki had never really had before. Not seriously, anyway. 

("...Like a family, huh?") He pondered... 

... 

Kagura's soft snoring was the only noise throughout the apartment. Falling asleep on a full stomach wasn't anything new for her. She lay sprawled out on the sofa, fast asleep. In such a situation, no matter who it was, Gintoki would have the sudden urge to take a mahic marker and scribble profanities on Kagura's face. But, no. Not tonight. Instead, he gently picked her up from the sofa and carried her almost weightless body upstairs. Her head flopped, leaning against Gintoki's arm like a pillow. He set her down on her bed, pulling the covers up over her body. All that was left was to sneak out, slowly and quietly close the door and then sneak away through the hallway, heading back down the stairs. With a long sigh, Gintoki flopped on the sofa, leaning his head back-exhausted. Hijikata sat beside him, a smirk affixed to his face before he promtly made the decision to clear his throat, ridding himself of it. 

"So...ehem...I-I suppose the China Girl's fast asleep now?" 

"Yeah, though I have a feeling she's gonna yell at me 'cause she went to sleep in her clothes". 

"...Gintoki". 

"Yeah...?" 

"Did you know that you were worrying for nothing earlier?" 

Gintoki's attention sparked, his eyes focusing on Hijikata with a puzzled look plastered on his face. 

"Eh...?" 

"About the phone, the China Girl's contacts...The only contacts she added was your number, mine-somehow-, the Spectacles, his sister and...Soyo Tokugawa's number". 

"...? Soyo...Eh? Ehhhhhh?! Wait! Wait, wait, wait. The...The...That politician's little sister?!" 

"I know, it shocked me too. They seemed like good friends, so I didn't see the harm in it. But the thing is that they were the only five contacts she intended to have. None of her friends from school or anything. She also couldn't care less about social media". 

"Holy shit...So...So I was fretting over her for-...Aggh! I feel like an idiot! I'm an idiot!" 

Gintoki ruffled his hair frantically, his head suddenly bowing down as he buried his face in his hands. 

"Hijikata-kun, Hijikata-kun, am I an idiot? Have I turned into some kinda doting father? I'm not ready for that shit! I'm gonna end up saying shit like "you nearly gave me a heart attack" and "ask your mother". Am I gonna have to wear kimonos and unfashionable briefs now? Aaaah, Hijikata-kun~". 

Hijikata's hand twitched above Gintoki's slumped posture, but made the effort to pat his back in comfort. 

"Hey, don't worry. You're...not a dad. You're still young and, you are only a guardian to the China Girl. So don't worry so much, alright?" 

"...Yeah, I know". Gintoki swiftly sat back up, leaning his back against the sofa as he proceeded to pick his nose. "Like hell am I gonna end up like a stinkin', doting old man". 

"Heh...You got over that quickly...". Hijikata placed a fresh cigarette between his lips, flicking his lighter and igniting it. 

Gintoki sat back, unfazed by the smell. A whiff of smoke evaporated into the air, the ash flicked away into the small, porcelian ashtray on the coffee table. Hijikata stared up at the ceiling. He hadn't mentioned this, but there was this thought-a reoccuring thought-that drifted in and out of his mind when heleast expected it. Certain circumstances over the past few months had led to this thought, a realisation, a sort of revolution in his relationship with Gintoki. This had been on his mind for an uncounted nuumber of days throughout the past week. For some reason, due to certain circumstances, this realsation of his only came to light when Gintoki was abscent. He wondered, and he wondered, until he considered this to be a perfect moment to speak his mind and get it out in the open. 

"Hooh...Hey, Gintoki...". Another exhale of smoke, a flick of the cigarette..."Um...Do you remember winter last year? We accidentally bumped into eachother by the frozen lake, where the China Girl and Sougo were fighting and then you and I started fighting?" 

"Oh, yeah...I was teaching Kagura how to skate-although she ended up teaching me-and then the sadist came along, they started fighting. Then you came along, and we started fighting over...God, I forget. All I remember from that was how I threatened to take off my ice skate and beat you with it, then you threatened to arrest me on the spot for threatening a cop on duty". 

"Yeah...that's what happened...". 

"Why are you suddenly remembering something like that? Don't tell me that's your way of reminiscing". 

"I wouldn't really call it that. It's just...Over the past few months, don't you think our relatinship has changed quite drastically? We used to fight every time we met and now it feels so much more...civil than that". 

"...I see what you mean. Yeah, we still have our disagreements and we fight, but...That's normal, isn't it?" 

"That's not the point I'm making exactly. Did you ever think we'd greet eachother normally? I mean, back then, before we starting dating. Did you ever imagine at some point what it would be like to say a simple "hello" or "how are you?" Something civil...". 

"Hijikata, we don't do that anyway. Back then, I never really thought about it. We would always try to avoid eachother, but now it's like I...I wanna see you at some point during the week, or receive a phone call from you when you're not busy. Come to think of it, that feels pretty bizarre, doesn't it?" 

"Yeah, that's what I'm saying". 

"It feels...so distant, those memories when we would threaten eachother. But it doesn't seem like a bad thing". 

"Do you miss it? How we used to act around eachother?" 

Gintoki let out a short laugh. "Well, depends. I mean, back then you used to piss me off. And I mean really piss me off". 

"Tch, you're one to talk. Seeing your face always made my blood boil, you know that? Your stupid, smug face, and dead fish eyes". 

"Oh yeah? It used to annoy me the way your brow would furrow and stay like that. Y'know what, that still kinda pisses me off. Look, the lines between your forehead are deeper than an emo's poetry. It's kinda depressing". 

"Oi, watch your mouth, ya natural perm. How'd your hair even get like that? Were you conceived in a shampoo testing lab or something?" 

"Oohhh, you are a dick. The tax thief's mouth is as big as his ego". 

"...". 

"...". 

"Hah...haha...". 

"Pffft...hahaha...". 

Even after the insults, their smirks failing to fade, the two broke out into laughter. Hearing eachother laugh was so new. This feeling of giddiness towards eachother's old insults was something neither of them had experienced. The arguments, the fights, the scornful looks were so distant, but they were scorched within memory as something to laugh about. At least, they could laugh about it now. 

"Hahahaha...Fuckin' hell...Haah...Haha...I needed that...Hah...". Hijikata cooled off first, clearing his throat to let the laughter fade. 

"Me too...Haha...hmhm..Holy shit...I-haha...I haven't laughed like that in forever. Oh man...". Gintoki let out a sigh, putting his lungs at ease. "You know...I kinda miss the old days, but at the same time I like the way things are now. It's bizarre to be able to talk to you like this, now that I think about it, but...I don't think things will ever be "normal", right?" 

"Right...". 

They exchanged gazes with faint smiles. Gintoki gently, but boldly, reached out and brushed the bases of his fingers over Hijikata's cheek. Hijikata, due this action, bit his bottom lip and averted his eyes. He was bashful, to say the least, but he refrained from showing that as he looked back up at Gintoki with the faint smile returning. And then... 

"Ah. Hey, we still have those frozen yogurts, don't we?" 

"...?" 

"Shit, I almost forgot about those. Wait right there, I'll go get them". Gintoki got up, heading straight for the kitchen area. Hijikata sighed, 

"Way to change the mood, moron". 

"Well, excuse me, but I don't want these things going to waste. I even made mine myself, and it looks too good to expire". 

"I think your brain has expired". 

"Oh, good one. Your comebacks are just like your dick, you know that? Weak and flaccid". 

"Ah! Where the hell did that come from?! Are you fifteen years old or something?!" 

"Haha, Hijikata, I'm kidding. I know yours isn't flaccid and it's certainly not weak...". 

"Shut up! Shut up now! You're embarrassing yourself!" 

"Correction; I'm embarrassing you. Awh, look at you all flustered. You're so cute~". 

"That's it, I'm going to kill you!" 

"Empty threats. All empty threats." With his focus affixed to the inside of the fridge, Gintoki didn't notice Hijikata get up from the sofa... "Come on, Hijikata, as if you'd actually-uwaaaah!"..and charge towards Gintoki with intent to kill. He was shoved onto the floor, being kicked by an enraged Hijikata. "Ah! Ow! Oww! Ahh! Y-you're actually kicking me! S-stop! Ouch! Hijikata! Stop it, bastard! Aah!" 

The old arguments and insults were distant memories. They were moments best forgotten in the past, before they started dating. Those times, those memories all seemed like day-to-day annoyances. Bumping into eachother out of pure coincidence before making a scene on the street, in the grocery store, or anywhere else for that matter...Was it something to be missed? Or was their relationship at the moment better? Maybe both. But, every now and then, those memories were closer than they thought. Much closer... 

"Ack! Stop it! I'll give you three-thousand yen! A-ahhh!" 

"You're so cheap for a rich author, you know that?!" 

"Ack! Aaaaack!" 

Okay, maybe too close...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My god...I just realised I have made Takasugi and Bansai's lives so domestic compared to the anime/manga when they're usually fighting and killing. God...Everyone is so domestic! And, you know what, I enjoy writing that.


	19. The Memories of a Year Fly By in an Instant

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know what...You know what. Here it is. Here it is, readers. Story. I have been wanting to write this chapter for the longest time, and here it is. I am ready. Are you ready? I hope so. *deep inhale*...*exhale*...Okay. I sincerely hope you enjoy. Here it goes...
> 
> Also, it seems pretty clear to me that this'll be a long fanfiction in general, so...be prepared for that. Unless you don't mind and you enjoy the story as it is...

Nineteen Years Ago...

... 

The rain, and the storm, the deathly chill and the sense of danger surrounded Gintoki as he hid under the old coat-which he had stolen not too long ago. The wallet he hugged so close to his chest; stolen. He shivered uncontrollably, unable to hold back heavy, uneven breaths. He covered his mouth, his fingers chilled to the bone. "Please..." He pleaded in his mind "Go away you bastards...Go away...". Over and over. The sounds of feet crashing into the puddles that scattered across the streets caused Gintoki to flinch, anxious. They were close...Those bastards were close...! 

"Where the hell did he go?!" 

"Damn brat...!" 

The echos of their voices could shake up anyone. However, Gintoki sat still in this damp, dark alleyway in the hopes that they would get the message and leave without their pachinko spending money. Crazy old morons...Cursing was the only thing that got Gintoki through this, almost as if he was being put through torture. Despite his age, it wasn't difficult for him to imagine such things. After all...despite his age...He had seen worse. The pungent smell of waste and death wafted around Gintoki. But he didn't cover his nose. He was used to this...He was used this. 

"Ugh...". Nope. He wasn't used to this. He held back a gag, covering his nose and mouth firmly with his tiny hand. 

The crashing of puddles seemed to fade away, the voices of outraged men growing distant. Gintoki let out a deep sigh, although the smell had immediatly reached him again. 

"Ugh! God dammit...". He cursed, shaking his head in displeasure. Droplets of rain flew from the stands of his natural permed hair, although still soaked. 

He relaxed, pushing his legs further away from his chest. The cuffs of his tattered jeans were soaked, the tattered sneakers along with them damp on the inside. With the wallet in his hand-the only one he managed to get away with-Gintoki opened it up with a dull click. He sighed, relieved for all his efforts. Perhaps a little too soon, though...He dug around for whatever money was inside. Sadly, the man he stole from was only carrying around 600¥ in change. Gintoki looked at the coins, thoroughly disappointed. 

"Aah...Shit...What the hell am I supposed to buy with this? Did that idiot spend all of his money on pachinko? What a chump...". 

Although disappointed, Gintoki grasped the money firmly in his frozen hand, burying his face in his knees. 

"I...I could probably make do with some bread or something. Or I could try again later...". 

He was tired. So, so tired. It was a wonder how such a frail boy could fight so strongly. He had no guidance, no home, nothing. In the past, just to get by, Gintoki stuck with a very small group of children until he was six-years-old. After a while, they either died from hunger or left. Gintoki left by himself, making do with whatever opportunities came his way. By any means necessary, Gintoki chose to survive. 

He thought he was going to drift off here, in such an unsafe, unguarded place. He wondered if it would kill him to stay in the one spot, either from the cold or some other crazy thief carrying a knife. They weren't that common anymore, but you never know what kind of creeps lurk around the alleyways. As Gintoki grew accustomed to this chill, the smell, the life he was living for years...A prescence presented itself to him in the storm. The rain had stopped...No...No, Gintoki could clearly hear the relentless patter of rain on concrete. This was...shelter... 

"My, my...I heard of a demon lurking around Osaka, stealing from people, but I never imagined it to be a cute little demon". 

Startled, Gintoki raised his head, acting quickly to confront this stranger head-on. He pushed away the coat from his head, dropping the money he was so desperately grasping before as he reached for his pocket knife. It clicked open, the blade stained with dry blood. Gintoki pointed it at this stranger, although he had not yet seen his face. By the sound of the stranger's voice, it was safe to assume that it was a man. Gintoki panted, dismissing the downpour. He took a long look at this person, feeling both puzzled and guarded. The man looked unfazed, still holding the umbrella above Gintoki's head. It was...an umbrella. The man had unusally long hair, and was wearing a beige raincoat. He stood still...But the most unusual thing about this guy was that he was smiling, faintly, despite being threatened with a knife. What, was he stupid or did he simply feel no intimidation towards Gintoki? That was plausible, considering Gintoki's height and build. But Gintoki proved to himself that he could be intimidating. He, too, stood unfazed as he pointed the knife directly at this man, although he was sure to keep his distance. 

"Wh-what do you want?" Gintoki asked, maintaining his composure. If he had to strike, he wouldn't hesitate. "Look, I may still be a kid but I'm not stupid. Even I know not to trust weird old men who come approuching me in an alleyway. If you don't back off...". 

"Oh my...A threatening little demon, too...Well, we are strangers, this is true. And it is smart of you to stay clear of strangers, absolutely. But...If you don't mind, how about I introduce myself, and you do the same?" 

"...?" Gintoki was confused by this man's words. But decided to play along. If he had to strike, he would. If he had to run, he would. 

"My name is Shouyou Yoshida. I'm a teacher for children just like you; children who have nowhere to go and have no opportunities for an education. How about you?" 

This guy...was a teacher? 

"No...I'm not tellin' you anything. So...So back off, unless, somehow, you can prove that you're not some sort of...weirdo or creep". 

"Now that's awfully aggressive, but I understand. Erm, if you don't mind, may I sit here with you? You can keep the knife out if it makes you feel safer. But you have my word that I won't harm you". 

It was natural for Gintoki to maintain his distrust, therefore he gripped the knife securely in his hand as they sat down on the ground. Yoshida passed over the umbrella to Gintoki, which was strange. Gintoki didn't know this man at all. Yet as he watched him kneel on the filthy ground of this alleyway, allowing the rain to drench his hair and clothes as he lent his umbrella to Gintoki, there was this strange feeling within. Gintoki felt no hostility coming from this man. He didn't seem to have any bad intentions. Of course, just in case, Gintoki held onto the possibility that he was just really skilled at lying. That possibility faded in an instant...much to Gintoki's surprise. 

"Here...". Yoshida brought out a folded sheet of paper from his wallet. He passed it to Gintoki, allowing him to see for himself. 

Upon unfolding this paper, keeping it under the shelter of the umbrella, Gintoki's eyes widened in disbelief. It was a photograph, maybe recently taken. In the photo was Shouyou, and around him were several children; all smiling. Behind them appeared to be a house, or a japanese-style cottage. One very interesting detail about this background was that there were no walls or metal bars or fences surrounding it. Only open spaces and woodlands. Gintoki was speechless, and confused. His eyes drifted towards Shouyou, who was still smiling warmly. 

"Why...?" Gintoki asked. "How come you take in all these kids? I mean, you're not blood-related or anythin'. What, does the government pay you to take in these kids or somethin'?" 

"Hm? Oh, no, nothing like that. It is true that I have no familial relation to these children, but no one "pays" me to take them in. See, we don't have much in terms of food or other necessities. But we make do. That's how these children have lived most of their lives. We grow rice, fruit, vegetables. Half of that is sold to the small village just outside of our school, and the other half is used to give these children a healthy living". 

"...". How? How could someone be so noble? It was boggling to Gintoki. This man took these children in despite not having much to give them, while also providing an education? It was...so weird. 

"I have come across children, maybe a little older than you, who have refused my offer to give them a roof above their head and an education to hopefully make their lives better. I have respected their decisions, although it breaks my heart knowing that living on the streets is their lifestyle now. It's rather difficult...". Shouyou's smile didn't fade, although now there was this look of sadness in his eyes as he stared off into space. He wasn't lying, was he? Was there a reason to doubt his words? Was he...offering to take Gintoki in as well? 

"...Hey...". Gintoki muttered, his gaze affixed to the photograph. "It's...It's Gintoki...". 

"...?" 

"My name...It's Gintoki Sakata".

"...Well, Gintoki, if you'd like, you may call me Shouyou-sensei". 

"Urm...Sure, I guess?" 

"Excellent. Now, how about we get out of the storm. If we go by bus, the school isn't too far from here". 

"...". 

"I understand if you're still a little hesitant. I don't blame you since you barely know me, but...I do want to help you, Gintoki. I'm a man of my word". 

"...Okay, then. Lead the way, I guess...". 

Gintoki was reluctant, naturally. But there was something about this man...His generosity...It made Gintoki feel both secure and bizarre. It was the first time someone had ever shown him such kindness. But that was the reason why he felt a little uncomfortable. It was normal. His hesitance to follow this man was normal. Was it really...okay? Thinking about it, he felt like an idiot. A real idiot... 

... 

The rain hadn't let up. In fact, the shower continued until the evening, when Gintoki and his new "teacher", supposedly, arrived at an isolated location in the mountains. They passed a small village, the stalls and stores closed for the night-perhaps due to the sudden downpour. Due to Gintoki's weak body, he nearly collapsed a few times due to the exhaustion of hunting for wallets all day. Just when he lost his balance, Shouyou reached out and held on before Gintoki's body hit the muddy earth below. 

"Are you alright?" Shouyou asked attentitively. 

"F-fine...I'm fine, so could ya let go?" Gintoki stood up properly, noticing that Shouyou was observing his face for a moment. "Uh...What...". 

"My, you're awfully pale. Maybe you have a low blood sugar...Well, we can sort that out when we get back, hm? For now, would you like me to carry you?" 

"Wha-...W-wait a minute...!" 

"It's no trouble. After a few months of being asked for a piggy-back ride from varies children, you get used to it". 

"That's not the-...! Ack...Fine, if you're sure". Gintoki was feeling a bit dizzy, so it couldn't hurt. Gintoki was given the umbrella to hold before being hoisted up onto Shouyou's back. Gintoki grumbled to himself, holding onto Shouyou's shoulders with a displeased expression. 

"Better...?" 

"...". 

No reply. Of course... 

Eventually, they approuched that japanese-style cottage down the road. It looked a lot wider in the photograph, like a temple school. Gintoki examined every corner of the building in awe. It wasn't a huge structure, just big enough for...a bunch of kids, probably. The lights inside were off completely, a pitch black hallway facing Gintoki once they entered through the front entrace. The sound of the rain was muffled once the door was closed behind them, the lights in the hall were flicked on and the hallway ahead was visible under the dim lighting. Gintoki's curious gaze drifted from the clean, wooden floors to the front step at the entrance, where he stood. Lots of kids shoes were lined up neatly along the walls, varies coats and hats hung up along the hand-made racks. Gintoki was placed down on the floor, and stalled for a moment while Shouyou had already removed his raincoat and shoes. 

"I would try to be as quiet as possible, since the other children are currently sleeping. I'm sure there must be a spare futon for you, too, somewhere". 

"W-wait a minute...". Shouyou paused, looking over his shoulder for Gintoki. "Can I...really stay here, if I wanted?" 

"If you wanted to; definitely. There's always room for one more". 

"Ah...O-okay, then...". 

Gintoki dragged his own tattered shoes from his feet, only just realising how uncomfortable they were. He followed Shouyou into the hallway, receiving a towel that had been set out within the hall. Gintoki uttered a quick "thanks", passing by two sliding doors and two other hallways on opposite sides. One of them was closed, the room behind it empty in Gintoki's mind. He didn't know what lay ahead of it, therefore ignored it. The other sliding door, just opposite of it, was slightly ooen and revealed a room with a dim light, shining at the corner of the room. From that, Gintoki could see the mounds and clustered shifting, tossing and turning under many patterened futons. Soft snores could faintly be heard from such a short distance. Ignoring it for now, Gintoki went on to the room at the end of the hallway, where the two other hallways faced eachother. The door slid open, another dark room that suddenly lit up at the flick of a switch. Gintoki entered, and the door was carefully shut behind them. 

"Here we are. Have a seat by the table and I'll see what we have. I'm sure you're hungry". 

"Yeah...Starving, actually". Gintoki gingerly sat down at the small table in the center of the kitchen, ruffling his natural permed hair with the clean towel. Sitting down gave him the opportunity to look around and study his surroundings. 

The first thing to catch his eye was the colourful displays scattered on the fridge. Drawings; quite a few of them, all stuck to the metal doors using magnets that also seemed to be hand-crafted. 

"Hmm...Would you prefer instant ramen or tamogoyaki? Not the most nutritious options, but it's convenient and will give you something to eat until tomorrow". 

"Sure. Er, I've never actually had either, so...either is fine, I guess? Whichever. Doesn't bother me". 

"Very well. Tamagoyaki it is then. I'll even add sugar to sweeten it, help with that low blood sugar of yours". 

Shouyou took out a pan from one of the cupboards, a pair of chopsticks and, soon enough, two eggs. Gintoki waited patiently, looking around curiously. Although, once he had skimmed over every corner of the room, a few questions came to mind. 

"Oi...Er, Shouyou-sensei, how many kids are here, exactly?" 

"Fourteen exactly, including you-if you really wish to stay. That would be eight boys and six girls. It's a handful, but they're all good children. They even help out with chores when they can". 

"Chores? I don't think I could be bothered with that sorta thing". 

"Haha...Well, isn't this a quick change in attitude. Before you were so reluctant to give me your name and now you're openly admitting that you're lazy". 

"Mm...Yeah, I'm lazy, I'll admit that. The only time I've ever had the energy to do something was when I stole. I had to have the energy for that, otherwise I didn't eat". 

"I understand. But you should know we don't live our lives sitting down. People go out, experience, learn all sorts of things. That's what makes human beings so lively". 

"If ya say so...". 

"Would you like tea or lemonade?" 

"...Tea?" 

"I suppose that would be appropriate, since it is quite cold today. You must be chilled to the bone from sitting out in the rain". 

Gintoki rocked back and forth on his rear patienty waiting. The floorboards creaked, the towel over his shoulders giving off a fragrant scent. Despite being damp, used to dry unclean hair, it still smelled clean. He really wasn't used to such hospitality. It was so foreign to him, so new, and even a tad uncomfortable. 

"Here we are. Tamaogoyaki and a cup of tea. Enjoy". 

Shouyou-sensei set down a small plate of tamogoyaki, along with a pair of chopsticks on the side and a japanese-style cup of tea. Things that Gintoki had never had before. Hell, he had never even used chopsticks before. So he was stricken with puzzlement, a sense of stupidity, the inability to do even the simplist thing because he wasn't used to it. But Shouyou-sensei was patient, and he understood. 

"You've never used chopsticks before, have you? Don't worry; you're not the first. Most of the children here learned to eat with their hands before learning how to even grasp chopsticks. Here, will you allow me to show you?" 

Gintoki didn't protest. He gave a simple nod, watching as Shouyou-sensei took the chopsticks into his own hands and placed them into Gintoki's. 

"See, just like this...". Shouyou guided Gintoki's fingers into the correct places, showing him how to hold the cutlary properly. "And...There. Got it?" 

"Y-yep, but this is kinda hurtin' all the muscles in my hand". 

"You'll have to get used to it, I'm afraid". 

"...Yeah. I will, huh?" Gintoki picked up the first piece of omelette with the chopsticks, his hand trembling and quaking as he tried to hold it perfectly still. Slowly, he brought the food closer to his mouth and, eventually, managed to dig in. His eyes glimmered. "Uh...It's...good...Ahem...". He uttered upon finishing the first mouthful, pounding his chest. 

"You know you should chew your food twenty times before swallowing. Take your time". 

"Haah...Alright, alright. It's just...I've never tasted anything that sweet before. It was good so...thanks". 

"You're welcome. Now eat up. It's getting late and I'm sure you're tired. I'm sure we can-". 

Before Shouyou-sensei finished his sentence, the kitchen door opened. The sound of a yawn emitted from behind it, and then a child entered. Gintoki looked up from his food, curious. It was a boy. A boy with long-ish, black hair came into the kitchen. His eyes were watering after his magnificant yawn, and his small voice uttered... 

"Mm...Sensei?" 

"Ah, sorry, Kotarou. Did we wake you?" 

"No, Sensei. I just got up for a glass of water. Ahn? Who's this?" 

"This is great timing, actually. Kotarou, I would like you to meet one of our new students. His name is Gintoki Sakata. Gintoki, this is Kotarou Katsura. He came to our school quite recently himself, so I hope you two will get along". 

"Oi, oi, what's with a name like Katsura? That's a bit of a pain in the ass to say. I think I'll call you Zura". 

"Haah...What? That's not my name, though. My name isn't Zura, it's Katsura. Are you an idiot or something?" 

"Who did you just call an idiot, idiot?!" 

"Now, now, settle down you too. Try to be friends, alright? Kotarou, when Gintoki's finished here, why don't you help him set up a futon? Oh, and would you be so kind as to lend him some spare clothes until we purchase new ones for him?" 

"Mn? Sure, Sensei. No problem. On one condition: he stops calling me Zura". 

"Does it annoy you that much?" Gintoki asked in disbelief. This kid was kinda weird... 

"Yes, because it's not Zura, it's Katsura". 

"Geez...Whatever, Zura. Whatever...".

... 

This Katsura-or Zura-kid led Gintoki through one of the hallways. And with only a few steps, they came to another sliding door. It had a different design from the other's, revealed to be a closet once opened by Zura. Peering inside, there were stacks of clothes; all clean and neatly put away. Zura searched around for a fitting outfit: a tee-shirt, shorts and socks. 

"This should fit you. You and I look about the same size". Zura handed over the clothes, taking a moment to rub the sleep out of his eyes afterwards. "Follow me, I'll show you to the bathroom so you can clean up, then I'll set out a futon for you". 

"Uh, hey, Zura?" 

"Katsura. It's Katsura. Honestly, how many times do I have to tell you?" 

"Look, I just need to know something...". Gintoki completely ignored the correction, continuing on with his question. "Are you...Are you guys happy here?" 

"Mm-hm. Yeah, we are. Sensei looks after us. He gave us a home when we didn't have one, and he's given us everything we've needed. He's a really kind person, y'know. But I'm sure you already know that much". 

"...Yeah. He is kind. So much so that I think it's a little weird". 

"...I see. You should know that you're not the only one to hesitate and feel a little suspicious. I was the same, but Shouyou-sensei is a really good person. All it takes is for you to give him a chance". 

A chance, huh? Gintoki had known himself that such a thing couldn't be given out easily. But from what he had saw...The children, and the way they look at this teacher...Maybe it was okay, after all. It was okay to give Shouyou-...sensei a chance. Gintoki gave a brief nod. 

"That's good. Now, come with me. There should be plenty of towels in the bathroom so help yourself". 

"Sure, sure. Thanks, I guess". 

"No problem". 

... 

Entering the room, with all the children shoulder-to-shoulder under several futons, seemed like an impossible task. Somehow, Zura managed. What was even more amazing was how he found a space in the corner of the room. A futon was being spread as Gintoki stood there, staring into space. But Zura, at some point, gestured for him to approuch. Gintoki snapped out of his momentary daze, taking easy and steady steps around the other futons in order to reach his own. It definitely wasn't easy to sneak around everyone, but eventually Gintoki reached his destination. 

"Try to get some sleep". Katsura whispered, sinking into his own futon, positioned somewhat beside Gintoki's. "Goodnight...Gintoki, was it?" 

"Yeah...Uh, 'night, Zura". Gintoki sunk into his own futon, pulling the covers up over his head. 

"It's not Zura. It's Katsura". Those were the final words to pass them by, and then came the silence silence. 

It was so strange. Despite the many children that filled the room, hiding under their bedsheets through sleep, Gintoki felt isolated under this dark space. It was warm, a faint whiff of soap coming from the pillow and sheets, but he felt almost completely alone. Almost... Gintoki's eyelids grew heavy, closing themselves as he drifted off; gradually falling deeper and deeper into much-needed rest. He turned on his side, then on his back, and onto his other side. From whatever consciousness he had left, Gintoki could hear the soft creaking of floorboards from outside, and the sliding of a door. There was a click. A lightswitch? It was probably Shouyou-sensei, turning off all the lights for the night. Gintoki settled down, his mind going blank as the weariness took over. And for the first time in his life, despite feeling alone in this clustered space, Gintoki felt safe. Not exactly at home, but safe and secure. 

... 

A bright light struck Gintoki's vision as soon as he opened his eyes. He flinched, groaned, and covered them with his arm before idly turning on his other side. It was morning. Morning, already? His eyelids still felt heavy, as well as his frail body. His hair was obviously in a worse state than what it usually was. Eh? Was that possible? Could his hair get any worse? Probably not. He opened his eyes once more, blinking. An empty floor lay ahead of him, the sliding doors on the other end of the room ajar. As he recalled, there were a few futons layed out across the entire room. If that was the case... 

"...?" Gintoki sat up, his head tilting to the side. He inhaled deeply, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. "What the...?" 

The room was totally empty. Not a single futon was layed out, other than his own. The sun's rays shot through the glass doors, the curtains drawn to reveal the morning through a blinding light. Yawning, Gintoki scratched the back of his head. Where was everyone? At the very thought, out of the blue, the dull sound of multiple footsteps stomping against wood floors emitted from outside the room. From within the room, looking through the gap in the sliding door, Gintoki could see a few of the children rush into the room at the other end of the hall. There was a brief sound of muffled conversation and laughter as they entered the room. But the door remained open. Then, just as the sound of muffled conversation settled into the atmosphere, another pair of footsteps approuched from the other end of the hallway. A familiar prescence. It was Shouyou-sensei, pausing in front of the room where Gintoki remained, still and in waiting for what was to come next. Shouyou noticed Gintoki within the room, a smile curving onto his lips once again. 

"Ah, Gintoki, you're up. I thought that you were tired, so I requested that the children allow you to rest". 

"Oh...really?" 

Shouyou gave a nod. "Yes. You looked quite exhausted last night, not to mention the fact that you were at risk of catching a cold. Well, if you're up to it, you can begin your first day here; in the classroom with the other children". 

"Uh...I dunno 'bout that. I'm not really used to being around other kids". 

"I'm sure you aren't. However, being here can give you a chance to get back in touch with children your age. I know you're already such good friends with Kotarou already". 

"Oi, what part of our conversation last night gave off the impression that we were friends?" 

"At any rate, there should be some breakfast left in the kitchen. And Kotarou left some clothes for you in the bathroom. So, when you're finished, why don't you join us in the classroom, hm? Although, if you are hesitant and do not feel comfortable yet, I'll understand. Although that will leave you bored and impatient for the next few hours". 

"...". 

"When you're ready, just come into the classroom and I shall introduce you to everyone. I'm sure, in time, you'll get along well with everyone and make friends. Now, if you'll excuse me, Gintoki". 

Shouyou left for the classroom on the other side of the hall. From the spot that Gintoki was in, he could hear several calls of "sensei" from the other room. He sat there, stunned. Already Gintoki was invited to join in with the other children and embrace the education that Shouyou-sensei was providing them. Gintoki had never been capable of fitting in with other children. He spent most of his life by himself, distant from people who he thought to be weights chained to his ankles. They would get hurt, for sure. But now he was being pulled in by the chains, being dragged into new experiences that were beyond Gintoki's expectations. Gintoki flopped onto his back, staring up at the ceiling. That man...He was kind...He was different...Despite the situation, he held no weights or chains against Gintoki. This was all so weird. Too weird. Gintoki grumbled, covering his face with his pillow in frustration. 

"Dammit...". 

...

Gintoki stood in front of the classroom doors. He was planning to avoid the classroom, the decision to go in or back away bouncing back and forth numerous times in his mind. Passing by it previously, he heard Sensei talking to the children. They listened quietly, every now and then a child spoke up and received a "correct", or "very good". This was tense. Gintoki had never felt such anxiety since he first started stealing. Those days seemed gone forever now. They were mere memories, if Gintoki truely was planning to stay in this place. To join those children, to be a part of Sensei's teachings would be a new start, wouldn't it? He reached out to the door, his fingers trembling as he made a move to open it. But then...he stopped. He hesitated. His hesitation became a pause, his pause became an excuse to back out. Could he really get back in touch with other children? Live normally? 

Gintoki backed away from the door, feeling discouraged by his own resistance to live normally. He couldn't join them. At least, not yet. He walked down the hall, prefering to endure the boredom for the time being. Curiosity took over, a new need to explore exasporating as he was in desperate need to find a distraction outside of the classroom. His curiosity led him outside first of all. There were no locks keeping him trapped inside, so opening one of the sliding glass doors was a cinch. He wandered out onto the hardwood porch, that seemed to go around the entire school. This seemed to be the back door; a forest of large trees standing ahead, covering a wide patch of land as far as the eye could see. There was a garden; crops growing in lines as well as displays of flowers and other plants. Gintoki walked around the porch, seeing the city of Osaka down below in the far distance of the mountain top, a thick cloudy fog floating above the buildings and streets. The city looked so large from up there. Seeing it now, Gintoki realised just how small he was compared to it all. He continued walking, hearing wind chimes ring above his head as a cool breeze drifted in. As he made his way around, he reaced the side of the school, another garden of flowers growing behind a picket fence. There was a path, leading from a large section of woodlands to an opening that lay behind the school. The paths seemed to split, heading to the forest area and towards the front of the school. There was an overhang in that opening, like an entranceway. A set of stone stairs seemed to go down from there. 

Curious, Gintoki narrowed his eyes as a spec appeared to be traversing up those steps. After a few moments, it was very clear to Gintoki that it was a boy who was coming up those steps. He walked closer and closer towards Gintoki, walking along the path to an unknown destination. At least, Gintoki didn't know where he was going. Was he a student from the temple school?...No, from the look of him, that wasn't possible. He was wearing some sort of school uniform-a maroon blazor and neatly ironed pants. A crest was sewn on the chest of the blazor, the thread glimmering a shiny golden colour in the sunlight. The boy's appearance was neat and tidy; his hair black, short and straight. He walked down the path, a bookbag in hand. His gaze seemed to drift curiously towards the school building at first, and then immediatly darted towards Gintoki. He hadn't expected to see Gintoki standing there, thus the boy stood there; stunned. He looked like a snot-nosed rich kid in Gintoki's eyes. Disdainful, Gintoki stuck his pinky finger into his nose and narrowed his eyes, glaring at this kid. He, surprisingly enough, glared back. 

"What're you lookin' at?" Gintoki asked in a disgusted tone. 

"Nothing...". The boy spoke firmly as if standing his ground. Look at that: the little richie rich wasn't a little wimpy wimp. "Are you...a student here? I haven't seen you around before". 

"Are you a student here?" Gintoki asked the same question, catching the boy off guard. 

"Eh...no, but...". 

"Then mind yer own business". 

"Ah! Don't talk back to me like that. I'll kick your ass. Tch!...Whatever. I'm...I'm leaving". 

"Hah...Okay...Sure ya will". The boy hesitated, but then continued down the path with an irritated expression. Gintoki watched him go, flicking his booger away swiftly. "...Silly little rich boy...". He murmered, heading back to the entrance of the school. 

... 

Gintoki's exploration was rather limited. However, he soon found some pleasure in simply sitting outside on the hardwood porch, staring out at the forests and the skies. His curiosity led his gaze to a tree-a tall trunk standing out among the rest--and it seemed plausible to climb it if Gintoki so wished. To sit back under the trees branches and leaves, to take in the whole world through closed eyes and a nice, long nap...Didn't sound like a bad idea. It was only then that Gintoki acknowledged how peaceful it was out here, how quiet and isolated it was from the rest of the world. The glass door behind Gintoki slid open, but he did not flinch at the sound. He spaced out, continuing to gaze at the world beyond this school, imagining in his mind's eye what the rest of the world looked like. He was so small, so insignificant. But, in his heart, he knew he was big and served some purpose. Otherwise, why would he still be alive after so much? What was the purpose of being either abandoned or saved by the parents? The two people in Gintoki's past, stuck somehwere in the deepest depths of his memories, without faces or names. What was it all for? He just wasn't sure yet. 

Anyway, back to the sound of the sliding door opening. The prescence returned, and Gintoki remained still. 

"So you were out here". 

However, at the sound of Shouyou-sensei's calm voice, Gintoki made the effort to peer over his shoulder. His gaze didn't falter as Shouyou-sensei walked over to Gintoki's side and sat with him on the porch. 

"Aren't you supposed to be teaching?" 

"I temporarily left the children to a quiet task. They're practicing their creative writing skills". 

"Creative writing...?" 

"Yes. As well as the ordinary curriculum, I try to encourage the children to express themselves through crearivity. In this case, they write short stories based on their own imagination. There are no limits, therefore I can clearly get to know them from what they write. Of course, the children have already told me so much about themselves". 

"Huh...". 

"Would you like to try? It's a lot of fun once you get started". 

"Ahh, nah, I'm good. I don't think I'd be any good at that story writing stuff". 

"You never know until you try. When I was your age, I was convinced that I was a terrible sketch artist". 

"Oh, really? Urr..Did you find out some sorta hidden talent once you tried it then?" 

"Nope. The first time I tried, it was the worst thing I had ever drawn. It was rather embarrassing". 

"Oi, oi...Where's the encouragement in this story?! Where was this going if you shoot down my expectations like that?!" 

"Hold on, let me finish. Once I started I was determined to get better. At the time, the people around me slowly picked up that I was either determined or extremely stubborn. I never gave up trying to make a decent picture. And when I considered my work to be passable, it was probably the most satisfying feeling. It wasn't necessarily my purpose to sketch, but there were others who learned from that. They never stopped trying either, and they charged on with everything they had to improve their skills. I then realised my true purpose. And from then on I wished to be a teacher; to encourage others and teach them that it was okay to get back up and try again. Seeing those children work so hard and discover new experiences...It's one of the many joys of being a teacher". 

"I...see...". 

"I see no reason for you to give up before you've even tried. Who knows, you may have a very creative personality. And it will show through your stories and imagination. Oh, that reminds me. I have something for you". 

Shouyou brought out a small notebook from behind his back. It's pages fluttered in the wind carelessly. Gintoki took it gratefully, although no words were said in thanks. 

"What is it?" 

"It's a part of your curriculum. Just some notes on what you'll be learning from me. I plan to go over some of these with you very soon, just to ensure that you catch up with everyone else. If you wish to try your hand in creative writing, the deadline is in a week. Nothing too long; just a short story about anything you want". 

"That's pretty vague, Sensei". 

"As I said; there are no limits". Shouyou-sensei tousled Gintoki's hair gently before standing back up, heading back inside the school. 

Gintoki looked over the notebook in his hands, turning to the first pages in curiosity. He looked over it, turning to the next page. It made as much sense to him as eating soup with a pair of chopsticks. And he never thought he would use that sort of phrasing in his head. He thought over what Shouyou-sensei said, the words resonating in every corner of his mind. Creative writing, huh...Gintoki had never thought about being able to have such a skill. But what the hell. It was worth a shot. How hard could it be? He said that even when faced with equations and lists of basic kanji in this little notebook, things that he barely had a grasp of. Gintoki heaved a sigh. How was he supposed to write creatively without a basic understanding on how to write kanji, anyway? 

... 

It had been a few days. A few days since Gintoki's arrival, and already he had grown used to the daily routine of the temple school, without once stepping into the classroom. He was isolated of his own volition, despite Sensei's efforts to have him learn with all the other children. So, on bright days on a particular Sunday, the rest of the children ran around outside playing their games. Apparently, because it was summer, the children had gone hunting for beetles in the wilderness. As they did, Shouyou-sensei and Gintoki sat on the porch outside. Sensei went over a few lessons with Gintoki over the past few days and, surprisingly, Gintoki was learning rather quickly. 

"...Sensei, I finished the questions". Gintoki declared in a weary voice, passing his papers over to Shouyou-sensei. 

"Very good. I shall mark them, then, before we move on". 

"Aah, Sensei~, when can I take a break? We've been goin' over literature and equations for three days straight". 

"I don't see why you're complaining. You learn awfully fast and, so far, you seem to be catching up with the other children. Besides, the lessons I've been giving you are on a basic level". 

"Still...Can't we take a break for once? My hands are killin' me from writing all day". 

"I see...In that case, I shall finish marking these papers and I will decide if you deserve a break". 

"You're ruthless sometimes, ya know that?" 

"On the contrary, it could be a lot worse. Hmm...Now, this is excellent work. However, you have three corrections on the maths section of your work". 

Gintoki let out a displeased groan as the paper was passed back to him. 

"Awh, man~...Sensei, I think I need more sugar. I dunno know what it is, but I'm craving something sweet. Without it, I don't I can carry on". 

"Haah, you are proving to be quite the challenge. However, I will not have you throw in the towel just yet. As your teacher, it is my job to keep you motivated. It's only three questions; just remember that. Think of it as a small goal that you've set for yourself. If you slow down and take your time, you'll reach the goal and gain your reward from it. In this case, if you re-do these three maths problems on your own, we can take a break from lessons. I think there are still some cookies left in the kitchen...". 

"Agh...You are ruthless. Ruthless, Sensei. Alright, fine...I'll finish these problems". 

"Good. I'm glad. See, a little determination never hurt anyone". 

"I feel like my fingers are gonna break. Ugh...".

With the shreds on an eraser scattered over the table, Gintoki took his time and looked over the three problems with ease until he figured them out. Shouyou-sensei marked them, pleased with the new results. 

"Very good. See? That wasn't so hard now, was it? I think you deserve that break now". 

"Yaaaaaas...". Gintoki fell backwards until his back his the hardwood porch. Heat simmered around his back, his shoulder blades and spine baking over the heat of the wood. But he didn't care. Sensei chuckled quietly to himself, standing up from the floor. 

"I'll be right back. Wait here for a moment". Gintoki sat back up, enthusiastic for this well-deserved break. 

A smile finally appeared on his face, but slowly faded when he looked out into the woodlands. Silhouettes of children ran around with the woodlands, laughter emitting from the distance. Shortly after, Sensei returned with a tray. The books and notes were set aside from the small table, the tray of cookies and iced tea set down to replace them. As well as that, two sketch pads were set down along with them. Gintoki said a brief thanks, taking one of the cookies as he eyes the sketch pads with puzzlement, his eyebrow arched. 

"Sensei, what are those for? Don't tell me you wanna sketch?" 

"Why not? I feel that it's an entertaining pass-time. And I've gotten a lot better since I was a child". 

"And the other one?" Gintoki already knew the answer, of course. But to hear it straight from his teacher would give him a reason to object. 

"Why ask the question to something you already know the answer to?" Damn. He caught on fast... "I thought it might be fun if we boh tried sketching. I'm more used to doing this by myself, but, just like the children, I would like to see the extent of your hidden talents. And you may even enjoy sketching if you tried". 

"What next; you test us on musical talent?" 

"Actually I was planning on purchasing some recorders for the children but our funds are a little too low for that". 

"Ah, right...Ahhh...Well, okay, then, I'll give drawing a shot. But if it's terrible, don't laugh at me". 

"I would never do such a thing".

Placing a cookie between his teeth, Gintoki picked up his own sketch pad and sharpened pencil. He looked around for something to sketch while Sensei was already at work with his drawing. Something not too complicated, something easy...His gaze shifted to the inside of the school building. Looking through the glass of the sliding doors, Gintoki spotted a flower vase positioned perfectly on a nearby set of drawers. A single flower was resting inside, its petals swaying gently among the draft that entered the room. It looked like an orchid; which made sense considering that orchids were being grown in the gardens. And so, he began to sketch what he saw, although there was plenty of doubt on his "talents". Gintoki had never done this before. 

"...Hey, Sensei?" Gintomi momentarily looked up from his page, receiving a brief hum when calling out to his teacher, sheepishly. "You said a while ago that your purpose was to be a teacher, but...I mean, were their other reasons why you wanted to educate kids like us. I mean, you're so kind to us even though we're not related by blood and...I bet most of these kids don't know who their folks are. So, why be a teacher to them?" 

"Hmm...That's a good question. I'll answer as honestly as possible, since you appear to be asking me with such a serious expression". 

"Why would I joke about that sorta question?" Gintoki's brows furrowed at that. 

"Well...let me see...When I was a young boy, I had very limited opportunities in my life, I had limited experiences and was trapped in the same place for a long time. These children have endured the exact same thing. The world is a cruel place. Think of it like pandora's box. Within there is darkness and a sense of hopelessness. But, eventually, in the midst of all the cruelty and evil...there's a little ray of light that shines the brightest. These children...They are that little ray of light for me. With all the knowledge and experience that I had discovered for myself over the years, I wished to share it with them in the hopes that they could build a future for themselves. After seeing so many of them live in povery with no family and oppotunities, I wished to extend my hand out to them. We don't have much, but no matter what they greet me with smiles and thank me. That is my purpose, Gintoki. Giving these children a home and some sort of experience of family is why I teach, why I help them". 

"...". Gintoki was lost for words, but understood. 

Shouyou-sensei was actually helping those children out of the kindness of his heart. The only thing he got in return was the love and respect of those same children. To receive that, it was what gave him a reason to teach, to give them the opportunities that he was limited to as a child. Just what lay behind this man's smile? What kind of past did he have to turn over a new leaf like this? 

"Mmm...I think I finished my sketch". 

"Eh, already, Sensei?" 

"It may be a little off, but I think it's passable. What do you think?" Shouyou-sensei turned his pad around to present his sketch to Gintoki. When laying his eyes on it, Gintoki's eyes widened and his jaw dropped. 

"Eh? Ehhhhhh?!" It looked to him like a perfect sketch. A sketch of Gintoki, with his finger stuck up his nostril-his expression nonchalant. "What do you mean "a little off"?! It's perfect! Way too perfect for you to just say it's passable! How long have you been practising for?!" 

"Mm, I'd say a little over a decade". 

"You're way too modest, Sensei! Who the hell is this modest?!" 

"May I see yours?" 

"Ah!...Um...W-well, fine! But...don't laugh, 'cause I've never done this sorta thing before". 

"That's alright. Let's see here". Sensei was given the sketch pad. As he looked over the picture quietly, Gintoki rocked back and forth on his rear with inflated cheeks, a flustered look with his gaze averted. 

"It's very good, actually". 

"Pfft...". Gintoki exhaled all the air built up from his cheeks. "You're just sayin' that, aren't ya?" 

"No of course not. But there is always room for improvement. It doesn't matter how many times you draw the lines in an odd poition or make a few mistakes. If you continue to erase them and start over, you are sure to get a perfect picture eventually. Something you can be proud of yourself". 

"I know so". 

"...". 

Sensei's gaze drifted, his smile aiming towards the area around the small flower garden. Gintoki followed his gaze, his eyes widening in surprise. That boy...The little rich kid was back! How long had he been standing there for? 

"Hello Shinsuke". Shouyou-sensei greeted, waving subtly. Gintoki expected the boy to stand his ground and give off a look of disdain. If he did so, Gintoki was prepared to kick his ass for showing such disrespect towards Shouyou-sensei. However, he jolted in surprise, withdrawn and tense. "It's good to see you again. Would you care to join us?" 

The boy stood still for a moment, but once he came to his senses he began walking off again, flustered, without a word. Shouyou-sensei maintained his cheery smile, turning back towards Gintoki. 

"Oi, Sensei, who was that kid?" 

"Shinsuke Takasugi. He attends a more private school, but he is a wonderful child. Perhaps a little shy, but I've heard that he's very bright. I'm sure you'd be good friends if you got to know eachother". 

"Ah, somehow, I doubt that...". After Gintoki's previous meeting with that "Takasugi" kid, he only felt disdain for him. It was two-sided disdain to boot. 

Gintoki picked up his cup of iced tea, sipping it. It was sweet...He could get used to this, definitely. Sweets and sugar was an all-time favourite of Gintoki's. He didn't ever have sweet things while living on the streets, so consuming as much sugar was a must in his eyes. So much better than plain bread and water stolen from a vending machine--after kicking it a few times, that is. 

Shouyou-sensei looked out, seeing the children run around excitedly through the forest with nets and plastic containers for the beetles. 

"Gintoki, are you sure you don't want to play with the other children? I've heard that collecting stag beetles during summer is a lot of fun". 

"...No, I'm alright here". 

"If you're sure...But isolating yourself is never a good idea. I'm telling you this now as your teacher. Distancing yourself from other's is painful, Gintoki. Although you may think that getting to know people, growing attatched to them, maybe even learning to love them will only lead to pain once they are gone forever, people can be truely amazing if you give them a chance. To meet someone and to love someone means making life worth while through experiences and memories. To purposely miss out on such things will be a lot more painful, I can assure you. This may be something you learn when you're a little older. It may not happen now, but one day you will meet someone who you will care for, and will want to protect unconditionally, no matter what". 

"...I-...". 

"Sensei! Sensei! Come over here!" All of a sudden, a young girl from the class ran towards Shouyou-sensei and Gintoki, a boy following behind her as they both called out to their teacher. When reaching him, the two children heaved and panted breathlessly, taking a hold of Sensei's sleeve. "Haa...Come quick. Makato caught a huge stag beetle-it's so cool!" 

"Y-yeah, Sensei, it was massive! Like, the biggest stag beetle ever! Come see!" 

"Alright, alright, settle down, children. I'll coe along and see for myself. Gintoki...". Shouyou-sensei stood up, looking over his shoulder towards Gintoki. "Would you like to come with us?" 

Gintoki hesitated for several short seconds. The two children looked at him with gestures telling him to come along to. Was there any harm in it? He nodded, standing up with Shouyou-sensei. 

"Yes! Come on, Sensei! Hurry!" 

"Haha, okay, okay. I'm hurrying. Honestly, you children are too energetic for this old man". 

"Sensei~, you're not that old!" 

"Wait...is your twenties not old?" 

"Nah, dummy". 

"Now, now, Koichi. Don't call Ana a dummy". 

"Oops! Sorry, Sensei. Ah, sorry, Ana-chan". 

Gintoki followed from the back, entering the forest with Shouyou-sensei and the two kids. Not too far in, they came across the group of children that took up the whole classroom, including Zura. One boy, presumingly Makato, stood proudly in the center of attention holding up a transparent container for the stag beetles. The kids around him "oohed" and "wowed" in amazement. Gintoki, feeling out of place, nonchalantly stood back and watch the scene. The children made a clearing for their teacher as he crouched down to see the prize stag beetle for himself. 

"So, this is the beetle you caught, hm, Makato?" Sensei asked, studying the bug through thr transparent wall. 

"Yup! 'Course I had some help from Koichi and Maya, I couldn't have caught it without them. Kotarou, on the other hand, was of no help at all". 

"What? I thought you wouldn't be able to catch a bug this size". 

"Well, you were wrong. See? A much better catch than you're beetle" 

"Now, now, settle down children. It is quite an impressive catch, I must say. But, I feel that Kotarou's catch is also impressive. See, Matako's stag beetle is very big, therefore very strong. However, despite the height and built of Kotarou's stag beetle, it had the darkest shell which will keep it well-hidden. Although they are both wonderful catches, I think they would be happier using their skills outside of a cage, don't you? Why don't we set them free?" 

"Haa...Man...Sensei, you really know how to put things in perspective. I wasn't gonna free 'em, but...okay. Can we at least take a photo of them? Please?" 

"Absolutely. Why don't one of you get the camera from the classroom so we can hang up the photo's with all the others, in the classrrom". 

"Yes! Let's do that!" 

"Thank you, Sensei! You're so cool!" 

"I'll go get the camera!" One of the children dashed past Gintoki, towards the school at top speed. 

Gintoki dismissed this as he was gone in a split second. Instead, he couldn't take his eyes off of the scene in front of him. Those children...Before this they had nothing; no family, no home, no opportunities. A mist of darkness with no end. But, behind all of that was a tiny ray of light. Shouyou-sensei was their little ray of light, extending his hand out to them and providing them with choices and opportunities to change their lives for the better. These children had a sort of family now. Or at least something of the like. They were happy...Gintoki fidgeted, unsure of his feelings now. Before him was a scene that looked so comforting to him. Was this...a ray of light for him? No matter how small it was... 

("...but one day you will meet someone who you will care for, and will want to protect unconditionally, no matter what"). 

Gintoki wished to reach for that light and grab a hold of it while it was still there. He wanted to grasp it and hold on for as long as possible, protecting it, preventing it from dying out for as long as possible. This was it, wasn't it? 

... 

That afternoon, the children were brought back into the classroom. And just as Shouyou-sense was about to join them, his sleeve was tugged, and his attention was brought around. He smiled, seeing Gintoki look up at him with a brave expression. Before Shouyou could utter anything in question of Gintoki's actions, Gintoki reached out to him with a clenched fist. He was gripping something tightly, but seemed willing to let go of it. 

"Sensei, I don't need this anymore". He said, boldly. Shouyou-sensei brought his hand under Gintoki's, receiving this object. It was hot from being clenched so tightly, but the object itself struck a cord between Shouyou and Gintoki...Between Shouyou-sensei, and his student, Gintoki Sakata. Sensei's smile didn't fade. He held in his hand Gintoki's old switchblade knife. This was quite surprising, but this was also a sign. 

"Gintoki...". Shouyou-sensei took a gentle hold of Gintoki's hand, placing the knife back in his palm. "This doesn't belong to me, but for some reason I'm sure it doesn't belong to you either. I understand your intentions by giving me this. However, perhaps you should hang onto it. But this time use it for reasons other than for the intend to harm someone innocent". 

"...". Gintoki was stunned, but only for a moment as he gave a nod, clutching the small knife in his hand. "...Yes, Sensei". 

"Good. Now, how about we finally introduce you to everyone?" Gintoki gave a nod in agreement, soon following Shouyou-sensei into the classroom. 

"Everyone...". Sensei called out to his students, gaining their attention in no time at all. "We have a new student joining us. I'm sure you've seen him around for a few days, but he is officially joining us in the classroom. His name is Gintoki Sakata. I hope you all get along with him". 

There was hesitance and skepticism that lingered above Gintoki's head, but he knew to break through those feelings without fear. He looked up to Shouyou once more at the touch of his shoulder. His notebook was presented to him, a faint and kind smile on Shouyou-sensei's face. 

"Here you are, Gintoki. I hope you get along with everyone". 

Gintoki gave a nod, taking his notebook in hand gratefully. This feeling...It was warm. It was warm, unlike the downpour of the rain just a few days ago. Although Gintoki held back a smile, he couldn't shake this feeling of comfortability. This feeling of...security...like, after all this time, he found a place to call home. 

... 

...

Boring. It was boring. It was so, so boring. For Shinsuke Takasugi, his school lessons and private tutoring bored him. With so much knowledge already, how much more could he possibly take in? This situation, this was of life, was dull. His only escape seemed to be within books; fiction. Within the confines of his over sized bedroom, Takasugi would often sink into his bean bag chair and fill his head with stories fo adventure and peril-real adventure that he would have sitting around in his room during summer. It was relief being able to sneak out to purchase more books from the village book store. It was a small shopping district, but they had everything that Takasugi needed. Not that his parents would know, or care. When they were out for long periods of time in the city, Takasugi would spend long periods of time outside. Unfortunately he was by himself, although he didn't appreciate having much company. The only person he really spoke to, who was his age, was a boy names Kotarou Katsura. It was a pain in the ass using his last name, yet Takasugi could never come up with a suitable nickname. Katsura probably wouldn't like it anyway. 

Although Takasugi spoke to Katsura in passing, he never really got to know him that well. He was only aware of Katsura's situation; losing his parents and then his grandmother, moving away from his special scholarship to attend a small, private school in the mountains. Takasugi, out of curiosity, once traveles up those mountains after school with a book at hand. The first time was a little unnerving, but he always past that sort of temple school. It was a guide for him, a way of knowing that he was on his way back to the city. Takasugi lived inbetween the city and the mountains, confined to a large, japanese-style manor. His father was a businessman of trade, which-being the only child-meant that Takasugi would inherit it someday. He was too young now, but one day he would be forced to run several companies that he didn't want. Of course, this was never mentioned to his father as he was constantly under threat of being disowned or probably beaten by the senile old man.

The walk up towards the mountains was becoming something of a routine. A pleasant trip of fresh air, the summer's sunshine pouring through the trees. With a book in hand, Takasugi coul take all of it in without any interuptions. At first, it was quiet. At first, he was alone. But one day, upon passing the same school as per usual, Takasugi found himself pausing down the path. That day he had arrived down the usual path later because his parents were leaving for a business trip far away from Osaka. Sapproro, if he recalled correctly from the housekeepers explanaition. They stuck around until a cab arrived, thus Takasugi's opportunity to escape for the day was left around lunchtime. And because of this, for the first time, he saw the children from the temple school play outside in the open air. 

They wandered into the forests, catching stag beetles of playing hide-and-go-seek. He had stopped right there, frozen, unable to carry on in case he was noticed. When it really came down to it, he had no business being there. And children that went to his school, that knew about the private teachings that went on in the mountians, were influenced by their parents-told to dispise these orphans and their teacher. After all, many of the children's parents were peers of politicians or government officials. And for a while there had been rumours of a teacher secretly lecturing propaganda to orphaned children. At that age, Takasugi wasn't informed of every little detail-not directly, anyway. Most of what he heard came from gossip. What proof was there that the children were being taught how to over-throw the government? They had none; therefore no government officials came into contact with this teacher or their students. There was one other rumour though. It seemed kind of bogus, but it was common amongst children, after all. It was rumoured that the school's teacher was...a demon with impeccable strength. 

Takasugi was better off backing away that day, to endure the boredom of the studies he had learned a hundred times over. If the children saw him, then... 

"Excuse me, may I help you?" A calm voice presumably called out to Takasugi from the temple school. Although the voice was calm, Takasugi swiftly turned around-stunned. His eyes darted in the direction of the voice, and before he knew it Takasugi's whole body was benumbed in shock, almost terror from being spotted. It was an adult man with unusually long hair, and a kind but faint smile across his lips. He gave off a gentle aura, but even so Takasugi's heart clenched up in his chest upon registering that this man was most likely the teacher of the school. No, there was no doubt in Takasugi's mind. He would have ran, spoke-said something. However, his lips trembled, his mouth twitching as he attempted to build up the courage and speak. He gulped down his spit, his throat suddenly dry. 

"Is something wrong?" The man asked. "There's no need to be shy...I can tell by you're uniform that you're from the prestigious military school in the city. I was never fond of their teaching methods, but I heard they have some very bright children". 

"Uh...I-I...Err...". 

"Goodness. How rude of me. I haven't introduced myself. My name is Shouyou Yoshida, I'm a teacher here at Shouka Sonjuku. Well, I'm the only teacher. What's your name?" 

"...". 

"...I see. I understand if you have a bad impression of me. But you should remember that rumours are simply rumours. Assumtions without concrete proof. How you choose to see me is entirely up to you, isn't it? A child that attends here thought up a very amusing phrase for this. I believe it was; "Don't just assume, that simply makes an 'ass' out of yo'u' and 'me'...". I thought it was rather clever if you write it down a certain way". 

"...O-oh...really?" Those, strangely enough, were the first words Takasugi had ever uttered to this man. 

He was dumbfounded, unable to read this man's personality with just one word. This was, in fact, the first lesson Shouyou Yoshida ever taught Shinsuke Takasugi. Although Takasugi attended a different school and lived a different way, Shouyou Yoshida still offered his teachings. It was the strangest thing. The rumours seemed like...well, just that. They were rumours, nothing more. This man said nothing about the government. He wasn't spouting propaganda right off the bat, as if he had no ill-intentions. He just pointed out a fact that children and parents in the same social category as Takasugi were making up these rumours about this school, and about this teacher. They were "assuming". "Don't just assume. Because it makes and 'ass' out of yo'u' and 'me'...". Yeah that was kinda clever. 

"I apologise. I'm probably taking up your time. If you would like to speak again, I'm always here". 

"Uh...W-wait!" Takasgi called out to Yoshida before he made his leave, and luckily caught his attention swiftly. "I...My name is...Shinsuke Takasugi". 

"Well, then. It's very nice to meet you, Shinsuke. If you so wish, you may refer to me as Shouyou-sensei. I may not be your teacher, but I find the title rather fitting as I try to offer my teachings to those that ask". 

Takasugi nodded, taking heed in Shouyou-"sensei's" offer. It was from then on, every now and then, that Takasugi would make his way up the mountain to speak to Shouyou-sensei. Sometimes he did, others he would find himself lingering around the exterior of the school. He was afraid to enter, his uncomfortability and awkwardness tipping the scales and telling him to keep a distance. Whenever he did meet Shouyou-sensei, they simply conversed outside at a distance away from eachother. Little by little, during the very few times that Takasugi met with Shouyou-sensei, he learned so much. He learned that the teachings at the school were so simplicit compared to the lessons he received daily-even on the weekend. He spoke to Katsura for the first time and they conversed a little too. Then came that weird natural permed kid with the stinking attitude and the stinking habit of picking his nose whenever he felt like it. That day Takasugi saw Shouyou-sensei sit with this boy, giving him school lessons and sketching with him made Takasugi's blood boil. Like he was jealous of the natural permed brat. He cursed out loud whenever he dwelled on it.

His visits were common, although his meetings with Shouyou-sensei were fairly rare. He could safely say that he enjoyed those visits. However, outside of that, classes and private tutoring was becoming a drag. There was no real challenge...just a tremendous bore. 

"Ack...!" Takasugi flinched, a shot of pain striking his cheek. The mark stain of red felt hot, nipping at his skin like pin pricks. 

He heard his mother gasp from the other end of the room, his father standing before him with his hand raised...also stained red at the palm. Takasugi didn't regret what he did, nor did he intend to apologise. He could endure the physical punishment of a slap to the face, knowing that he would be sent to the same school anyway. 

"Dear, isn't that too much? Yes, he did wrong, but...". 

"Too much? This little shit started a fight with his classmates-the children of our peers and acquaintances-and you think a single slap to his his face is too much?! I should be beating him senseless for such impudence...But that would only raise questions, wouldn't it?" 

"Still...". 

"The most we can do for the time being is have him suspended for a short period of time and... Naoko-san!" 

"Yes, Takasugi-dono?" 

"Don't give this brat any meals tonight. He can starve as punishment". 

"...Yes, Takasugi-dono". 

"One day, if you're not careful, I might disown you and leave you to fend for yourself on the streets. Shouldn't I, Shinsuke?" 

"...". 

This was home. This was where Takasugi lived. His mother, although a caring woman, was timid and seemed to pay more attention to her work rather than her child. His father, a miserable cretin who only knew such feelings as frustration and outrage towards his only son. Takasugi looked down on them as the people who birthed him, the people who left him to the housekeepers and the countless nannies. They were corrupt. They were all corrupt, rotten beings who Takasugi despiced. This didn't just account for his miserable excuse for parents; but his classmates, teachers and private tutors as well. There was only one place where he felt at peace at times like these. But considering the current circumstances, it was dangerous to tread so far. So, for the time being, Takasugi made way to the local shrine inbetween the city and the temple school. 

The sun glowed a bright orange, the only sounds around or within the temple was the soft clicking of crickets and the dull growl of Takasugi's stomach. He cursed to himself, leaning against the shrines overhang as he stared up at the sky. 

"Oi, Takasugi, there you are. Been a while since I've seen you around". Takasugi raised his head, his focus shifting to see Katsura, of all people, stand before him. 

He was carrying something, wrapped up in a piece of cloth. He brought it over, placing it gently on the shrine's steps right by Takasugi's feet. The cloth's corners fell into place, revealing two balls of aluminum foil. They were accepted by Takasugi, unwrapped to reveal two steaming rice balls. Takasugi's brow furrowed. 

"What's this?" 

"We made extras in class. These are from Ana-chan, to me. I would've eaten them myself but they're too salty". 

"Gee, well, say thanks to her anyway". 

"My grandma's were better". 

"Didn't she die a while ago?" Takasugi asked, taking a bite out of the rice ball before screwing up his face in disgust. It was too salty. 

"Yeah...But I don't plan to dwell on it. Anyway, are you planning to go back home any time soon?" 

"...I'll have to eventually. Man...This sucks. I'm suspended from that boring ass school, so I'll probably get private tutoring all day starting tomorrow". 

"That's too bad. I would invite you to stay at our school, but I understand that would be impossible given the circumstances. You're stuck, unless you fight so many students until you're disowned by your parents". 

"Pppfff...Doesn't sound too bad". 

In the midst of their conversation, a sudden uproar approuched from the steps leading to the shrine. The noises drew closer, becoming more clear. The two boys brought their guard up, standing firm together as they awaited this sudden presence. To their bemusement, several older boys stormed up the stones steps with intimidating expressions. Takasugi recognised them well, despite feeling only indifference towards them originally. 

"We found him". 

"Damn right we did". 

"Oi, Shin-chan, you know why we're here right? We're gonna do the same thing to you as you did to us, only worse. We're gonna beat you senseless". 

There were around seven boys in the group, only a few of them with bruises and cuts from Takasugi's previous assault. This situation seemed iniscapable already. 

"Do you usually attract such trouble, Takasugi?" Katsura asked, readying himself to put up a fight. There was no doubt in his mind that sticking up for Takasugi like this would land him the same beating, but he wasn't prepared to back away from a friend. 

"Nah, this is my first time, actually. It's kinda exciting, don't you think?" 

"What, knowing that we're gonna get our asses kicked?" 

"You better be ready, Shin-chan". One of the boys declared, pointing directly at Takasugi with the intent to do as much harm as the group as a whole saw fit. 

"We don't care how old you are. Real men don't back away from a fight". 

The boys slowly approuched, leaving Takasugi and Katsura cornered. However, before they got very far, the most unexpected occurance happened. In the heat of the situation, completely out of the blue, something small and green was shot downwards, landing directly on one of the boy's heads. They all froze, their eyes catching this almost immediatly. They all looked in disgust. 

"A-aaah...Is that a...What...?!" 

"Is that a booger?!" 

"That's gross! Who did that?!" 

"Oiii! Will you bastards stop yammerin'?!" Soon enough, there came another voice, a third party. It came from above, echoing through the open air. All eyes looked up, meeting at the same point. "So noisy...Can't a kid get any rest? Geez, are you retarded?" 

That boy...The permhead! He was sitting on top of a tree brach, resting his back against the trunk. Everyone was stunned by the sudden turn of events. 

"Wha-...Who the hell is this brat?! He pisses me off for some reason!" 

"Yap, yap, yap, on and on and on. Haah...". Gintoki let out a sigh upon sticking his pinky finger into his ear canal. "So, so noisy. Am I gonna have to come down there and shut you up?" 

"He's big talk for a brat! Yeah, why not come down here you little shit! Come get beaten up with your little friends!" 

"Friends? Who told you morons that I was friends with these guys? I mean, an emo, rich kid and Zura? Tch...". 

The boy hopped off from the tree, landing perfectly on his feet before casually walking in front of the boys. 

"Oi, Zura, aren't ya glad that I was here? Oh man, if I wasn't, you'd be crapping yourself right about now". 

"It's no Zura! It's Katsura! And we would've managed just fine!" 

"Zura...?" Takasugi questioned the nickname, finding it to be more convenient than saying "Katsura" over and over. 

"Ahh, not you too, Takasugi...". 

"Hey! What the hell is up with these brats?!" One of the boys cried out, exasporated with such casual behaviour. 

"I dunno, but it doesn't matter! Let's just-....?!" 

Out of nowhere, Gintoki pulled out a knife from his back pocket, pointing the tip of the sharpened blade at the bullies. What emphasied his seriousness was that the blood over the blade was not yet washed off. It was an excellent tool for intimidation. 

"Oi, Takasugi, was it?" Gintoki asked, a smirk forming from ear to ear. "I never would have guessed that you were with these stuck-up morons since you're not wearing that uniform of yours. You almost look like one of us, the runts". 

"...". 

"Sensei mentioned you before, and just so you know, he thinks you're a good kid. I don't feel the same, but...just so everyone here knows, any disiple of Shouyou-sensei won't be harmed unless the bastards tryin' to harm them get through me first". 

"Disiple...". Takasugi murmered under his breath, his demeanor more withdrawn than before. 

"I'll protect that man's students at all costs. I owe him that much, after all". 

"....!" The boys trembled in hesitation, but in the end they had no intent to back away from this. But just as they were all prepared to fight... 

"My, my, I never thought such a small child would say such bold words. Either you're very brave or very bull-headed, Gintoki". 

All eyes, once more, turned to the new voice that was approuching from the stares. The taller boys blocked the way, but their expressions presented sudden fear. Behind them, Shouyou-sensei approuched with the same faint and kind smile on his face. The boys trembled, anxious and scared. Why, though...? 

"Sometimes I really worry that you're putting yourself in more danger than necessary. But to save your friends, I can respect that. Now...". 

"...I-it's him!" One of the boys cried out, backing away from Shouyou-sensei. 

"It's the demon! He's the demon!" 

"Oh crap! The de-...the demon, Utsuro?! Are you serious?!" 

"Screw this! I'm gettin' outta here!" 

"Wait up!" 

The boys made a quick escape, running past Shouyou-sensei and down the stairs like the wind. It was a mad dash for safety, although Gintoki, Katsura and Takasugi didn't personally see the danger. 

"Oh my, did I say something to scare them off? Hm...Perhaps the rumours have gotten to their heads a little". 

"Agh...Sensei, we would have managed, ya know". Gintoki grumbled, scratching the back was his head. 

"...Hm". Shouyou-sensei was quiet, approuching Gintoki with an ambiguous demeanor. Gintoki didn't react at first, not until his teacher flicked at his forehead with incredible force. It hurt. Hurt more than Gintoki would have expected. 

"Ah-owowow! What was that for, Sensei~?!" Gintoki groaned, rubbing the sore spot centered on his forehead. 

"I think you're a hundred years too early to be picking a fight with a group of bullies". 

"Me? They're the one's who were pickin' a fight, I just-". 

"I always say that strength and the will to fight doesn't come with muscle and height; but from the heart and spirit. I think you let your ego and that switch balde you carry around get ahead of your spirit. If you don't put all of your soul into something-in this case, protecting your friends-then the results will come out half-measured. Fighting isn't always the solution, Gintoki". 

"Geez...". 

"Haah...In any case...come along, Gintoki. Let's head back before it gets dark. You too, Kotarou". 

"Ah, yes, Sensei". 

Gintoki dragged his feet behind Shouyou-sensei, continuing to rub the sore spot on his head. Kotarou was about to follow onward himself, but... 

"Uh, wait a minute, Zura". 

"Ah?! You're calling me that too?! Oh, for-". 

"This'll only take a second, relax". 

"That's not the point I'm making...". 

"No, I know. I just wanted to ask you something. Who was that kid exactly? Shouyou-sensei seems to...treat him a little differently, from what I've seen" 

"Who, Gintoki? Well, if I had to describe him I'd say he has a habit of picking his nose and ears, he falls asleep in class, he's lazy, he calls me by the wrong name and he spends a lot of his time writing and scrapping stories before writing them again".

"Seriously...?" 

"To sum it up: he's special". 

"...". 

Special? That kid? From what Katsura just described, he didn't sound special; he was just a pain in the ass. Unique, maybe. But not special. Although...Shouyou-sensei appeared to have a different demeanor towards this Gintoki kid. Takasugi couldn't quite describe it himself, however he could sense this unique look in Shouyou-sensei's eyes when speaking to Gintoki. Why? What was it? What was that look? 

... 

As per usual, although after a long period of private lessons on japanese history and world geography, Takasugi made the hike up to the mountains with a book at hand. How many had he gone through since he made his first trip? His own world of fiction had built up since he first started reading books as a toddler. Of course, back then he indulged in colourful picture books with the varies colourful characters that he had long forgotten about. He walked across the path, heading just past the school as his head tilted up, his eyes looking around the porch when something caught his eye. Takasugi froze, his pace slowing down at first before he completely stopped. There, sitting face to face on the porch was Shouyou-sensei and Gintoki, just like last time. Gintoki sat there non-chalantly-such an idle expression on his face pissing Takasugi off for some reason-as he munched on some sort of cake. Shouyou-sensei sat quietly, seemingly looking over some scraps of paper. He set them down, earning Gintoki's attention at such a simple action. 

"This is very good, Gintoki. Although you left me at a bit of a cliffhanger at the end, I think it's a fun piece of writing. The few characters you wrote about are fun, relatable and so light-hearted. It's an excellent piece of work. Of course I'll dismiss the spelling mistakes for the time being, but I'm sure that'll improve". 

"Hey, I was in a rush. That's why some of the characters in kanji look funny". 

"Don't worry. For now, we can brush those mistakes off. But you should try to take your time when writing. Clearly you thought a lot about the story and characters, for a piece that was intended to be around three-thousand words long. But you shouldn't over-exert yourself". 

"I know, Sensei. I know...".

Shouyou-sensei glanced over in Takasugi's general direction, catching Gintoki's attention as well. 

"Ah, Shinsuke, you're back again. I know this may sound like a broken record by now, but would you like to join us?" 

"Ah...". Takasugi usually gave no response or politely declined. But this time he felt compelled to observe the way Gintoki is treated and find out for himself why he is seen as being "special". "Yes, please. If that's alright". 

"Of course. You're welcome any time". 

Takasugi half expected Gintoki to protest, but the boy simply averted his gaze in indifference. Even that ticked Takasugi off.

... 

Takasugi sipped his tea, trying to avoid direct eye contact with Gintoki as his curiosity swayed. This was the first time he sat down with Shouyou-sensei, so it was natural for him to feel a little timid. But such a feeling was contrasted by the irritation he felt towards Gintoki, lancing in his direction just to stare daggers at him for no vivid reason. 

"Say, Shinsuke". When Shouyou-sensei spoke out to Takasugi, that irritation shattered and the timidness surfaced. 

"Y-yes, Sensei?" 

"I was just wondering; would you be interested in writing a short story? It's a part of a school project. We're displaying them in the halls for the other children to read-with their permission, of course. Gintoki's is going to be the final one on display, unless you would like to take part". 

"I've never really...thought about writing my own stories. I only read them in books". 

"If you do not wish to, then there's no harm done. I simply thought that it would be a nice way for you to take part in our school activities". 

"...Even though I attend a different school?" 

"Of course. Any children are welcome to take part if they truely wish. I see no limitations". 

"...Oh. I-I see...Um, well...Then, okay. I'll write one". 

"I'm glad. We did set a deadline for a week. However, since you're just getting started, I'll allow an extension". 

"Ah, thank you, Sensei". 

"It's no trouble at all, Shinsuke. I'm rather interested to see what you come uo with". 

Takasugi had never written a fictional story before. In fact, he had never thought above delving into his imagination to create something of his own. Everything he ever wrote was non-fiction, written from studying and memory. To write something out of this world was completely foreign to him. However, if it made him feel like a part of Sensei'class then he wanted to do it. Besides, it sounded like fun. He'd never written anything creative before, so this was a whole new experience. Whether he was any good or not was where the real challenge lay. With all the fictional books he had read, Takasugi believed he could write something half-decent. But when the day came to hand in his piece of work... 

... 

He froze on the spot, papers in hand as Takasugi stared at the school's entranceway. This was around the afternoon, when he had free time to escape his family manor and head directly to Shouka Sonjuku. But when faced with the front entrance, he froze up and looked down at his work with hesitance. What if it wasn't any good? He wrote it anonymously, meaning that he didn't write his name anywhere. This was a suggestion by Shouyou-sensei as a few of the kids would feel embarrassed if their work was critisised. Sensei wasn't the type to condone critisism, but writing the story anonymously was a precaution. Any kid would feel embarrassed about displying their work-of any sort-in fear of being critisised by other children. But that wasn't necessarily the thing that bothered Takasugi. What would Sensei think? Would he give the same praise as he gave to Gintoki? If he didn't, then was Gintoki really special? Or was he just better at this than Takasugi? 

These thoughts were shaken from his head. There was no time to dwell over those things. Takasugi was no coward; he wouldn't back away from this. Taking a deep breath, he entered the school with an open mind. This was his first time entering the building. Upon stepping into the front entrance, the timidness returned. He stood quietly at the front entrance, noticing a group of children gcrowd around the bulletin board in the hallway. Shouyou-senei stood tall above them, pinning a few collected sheets of paper onto the board. The children peered at it, their eyes skimming over every word. There appeared to be similar displays-immediatly telling Takasugi that the stories written by the children were being displayed-just as Shouyou-sensei said. Takasugi cleared his throat, accidentally gaining the attemtion of a few students. They looked at him; puzzled. 

"A-ahem, s-sorry to intrude...Er...". 

"Ah, Shinsuke. It's good to see you again". Shouyou-sensei greeted him, approuching calmly. "It's been a while, hasn't it?" 

"Hah, i-it's only been a week, Sensei. I, erm...I finished my story". 

"Ah, very good. May I have a look?" 

"Um, well...". 

"Tell you what: why don't we head into the classroom and speak privately? Although, Gintoki is fast alseep in there, I'm sure we can work through this without disruptions". 

"He's...alseep?" 

"It seems my lessons on japanese history are quite dull. Either that or Gintoki is just being idle, as per usual". 

"...". Takasugi couldn't believe that kid would have the nerve to fall alseep during class. What a brat. 

"Shall we head inside?" Takasugi gave a nod, although a little reluctant to see Gintoki. Not that he would be awake to see Takasugi, but still... 

... 

Shouyou-sensei looked over the story, his smile never fading. Takasugi sat quietly, fidgeting and glancing over to Gintoki. He was leaning against the corner wall, sound asleep with a string of drool sliding down his chin. Takasugi grimaced at the sight, immediatly turning back towards Shouyou-sensei as he tried to get the image out of his head. When Sensei set the papers down, that was when Takasugi's attention perked up and he ceased fidgeting in the one spot. 

"...It's excellent". Shouyou-sensei began; his words a relief on Takasugi's part. "The story is very interesting, the ending was beautifully done and the characters were well thought out. The only issue I have is the pacing of your story. It's quite rushed. Although I do not blame you, considering you had a word limit and a short period of time to finish this. However, if this were a light novel then the pacing would surely be a lot better. It's a wonderful piece of writing, Shinsuke. I'm very impressed". 

"Thank you, Sensei. Thank you so much!" 

"Now, there's one thing I must ask...Would you like to put this story on display with the others?" 

"Ah...! W-well...". 

"You can say no if you wish. I will not force you". 

"N-no, it's okay. I...I don't mind having it on display, but...Does this mean that I'm...a part of your classroom now? Am I one of your disiples now, Sensei?" 

There was a brief pause after these words, shaking up Takasugi's confidence. Was he not, or...? 

"....?!" Takasugi flinched, dumbfounded when he felt his hair being tousled. Shouyou-sensei smiled kindly, ruffling Takasugi's hair. "S-sensei...?" 

"You're such a silly child, Shinsuke". 

"Eh...?" 

"I considered you my disiple the moment you listened to my teachings. I thought of you as a student, no matter which school you originally came from, and no matter your background. I believe that physically attending class and physically taking part in school projects does not have to make you a teacher's student. Children learn things everyday from their teachers, parents, elders, etcetera. If you learn from their words and advice, are you not a student to some extent? Don't you accept their words into your heart and turn their advice into your own way of living, no matter what that may be? The moment you listened to my lecture-learned not to assume someone's character based on rumours-you took that into your heart and you continued to visit my school and listened to whatever I had to teach you with an open mind. That makes you a disiple of mine, in my eyes". 

"Sensei...". 

This feeling...Takasugi felt so grateful to this man. He was...happy to hear such kind words of acceptance. He was kind...His words did not rely on memory or studying. He spoke from the heart, conveying his teachings through honesty and heart-felt beliefs. This man truely was the definition of a teacher. 

"Now, how about we stick this on the bulletin board outside and allow the other children to read this fantastic story?" 

"...Yes, Sensei!" 

Takasugi smiled. For the first time he honestly smiled. To feel so enlightened... It was like a warm glow, a good feeling radiating comfort from within his chest. Would he feel like this more often if he stuck around? To be honest, there was no question about that. 

... 

Takasugi stuck around the school for a while, exploring the hallways and the rooms. He had never seen such a simplicit home before. It was japanese-styled, with simple furniture and a simple design for wallpaper and floors. Something that was so common yet so rare for Takasugi to see, considering his usual lifestyle. When he came back to the main hallway, the children were still looking over the stories on display. Curious, Takasugi listened in. 

"...really good story. Better than mine". 

"Don't say that, Mizuki. I liked yours just as much as the rest". 

"But this one has a lot of detail. The name is even written on it. "Gintoki Sakata". The new boy wrote it". 

"Yeah, he's really talented. Although he spends most of class time sleeping...". 

"I like this one, though. Sensei said they wrote their name last minute. "Shinsuke Takasugi", is his name". 

"Never heard of him". Takasugi remained out of sight when his name was mentioned, but continued to listen in regardless. 

"He doesn't go to this school, but this story is really good. With the dragons and the super cool hero". 

"I dunno. I think Gin-san's story is a bit more real. If ya think about it...it's kinda lonely, too". 

"But this Shinsuke kid can write really gruesome stuff! It's cool!" 

"What, Ana-chan, you got a crush on him or somethin'?" 

"N-no, I don't! I just like his story-that's all! And I like spooky stories with dragons!" 

"When you put it like that, it's a weird combination. Besides, Gintoki's is way better. Hands down". 

"Yeah, it's good. But I prefer Shinsuke-chan's story". -Chan...? 

"I'd have to agree with Tomoya on this one. Gintoki's is better". 

"Nuh-uh. I agree with Ana-san. Whoever this Takasugi-san kid is, he's talented. Sure, Sakata-san is too, but I prefer Takasugi-san's story and characters". 

"No way. Gintoki's is best!" 

There seemed to be a bit of a dispute going on over which story was better. Takasugi had confidence in his own story. At least, after receiving such praise for it, he grew confident that it was good-but anyway...Takasugi felt quite competitive towards Gintoki. His talents in writing appeared to match Takasugi's. That was...irritating. Gintoki was irritating. Takasugi grew up with the desire to be the best at everything he could do. Tests, sports, book reports, essays and so on. Gintoki was so casual about his work, as if he didn't care, yet he put his heart and soul into writing fictional pieces. It was irritating how such a careless person received such praise. Annoyed, Takasugi wished to settle this dispute in the only way he could think of... 

... 

It all began, much to Gintoki's surprise, with a pair of hands slamming on his class desk during the afternoon, the class' lunch period. Takasugi had come to visit at the right time to settle this once and for all. He didn't want to lose to Gintoki. He was determined to show his talents to him, the other students and Shouyou-sensei. He wouldn't lose to such an irritating person as Gintoki. 

"Oi, what's up with-". 

"I challenge you". Takasugi spoke firmly, earning the attention of the entire class before they got the chance to dig into their home-made bento boxes. 

"What're you talkin' about, you moron? Challenge me to what?" 

"To see who the best writer is, out of you and me". 

"Eh...?" Gintoki was thoroughly confused, almost pitying this kid. 

"I wanna show the whole class that I'm a better writer than you. So, I say we write one more creative piece and display it on the board outside. We write them anonymously, number them as 1 and 2, and have the kids in the class vote which is better". 

"Haah...Are you kidding me? That sounds like way too much effort. Pain in the ass...". 

"What, you think you're stories aren't worth the praise?" 

"Did I say that, moron? Geez...Fine, I'll play your little game. Just gimme a week and I can shut you up". 

"...Fine. A week it is". 

... 

During that week, the two boys wrote their stories-one writing with less effort than the other. And when it came to the votes, the results showed a clear win for Gintoki by two votes. It was an unexpected loss for Takasugi, yet Gintoki didn't gloat or boast in his victory. He simply turned to Takasugi and said "happy, now?" Unfortunately, no. Takasugi wasn't happy. 

"Let's do it again!" 

"Huh?! Are you serious?" 

"I just started writing creative stories. If I improve more and more, I'll definitely beat you". 

"You are a moron. How seriously are ya gonna take this thing? But, fine. I'll continue to play with you until you get bored. Just so you know, if you keep persisting like this you'll break your fingers and your soul for working so hard. Writing ain't a contest, Takasugi. It's a freedom, an escape. If you can't get that through your head, then there's no helping you". 

Then came the next vote... 

"Again. Let's do it again!" 

"...Fine by me. You'll run out of ideas eventually". 

And the next... 

"I won't give up! I'm getting better-I know I am". 

"Come on, man~. There's only so much I can come up with in a week. Aren't you bored yet?" 

And the next...and the next...until, eventually, after another vote from the children, the events turned around in Takasugi's favour, for the first time. 

"Wow, Takasugi's won? Yeah, I did think that one was pretty good". 

"I know. He's been working hard huh?" 

"I can't believe he beat Gintoki, though". 

"Yeah, and that kid's really talented". 

Both boys had written out their stories to the point where their fingers were on the verge of breaking due to Takasugi's relentless persistence. However, eventually, he received the desired result. He had outdone Gintoki. Not that Gintoki cared, though. If Takasugi got the results he wanted, then that was the end of it. He didn't care. As the children crowded around Takasugi, praising his story and hard work, Gintoki looked the other way in indifference. At least, he wanted to act indifferent. 

"Shinsuke, your story this time was so good! It was fun to read". 

"Aha, th-thanks...". 

"Hey, I really liked the main character. She was really cool". 

"If you say so...". 

"Oi...!" Gintoki called out to the group from the corner of the room, suddenly annoyed by the situation in front of him. "It wasn't that great! So quit yer yappin' already! Geez...It was just a game, don't take it so seriously". 

"Gintoki...". Katsura uttered, placing his hand on Gintoki's shoulder. "You're the one taking this too seriously". 

"Shut up, Zura! Takasugi was the one who started this! I nearly broke my fingers writing all those stories". 

"And you ended up letting your guard down, didn't you, Gintoki?" All eyes followed the voice that was Shouyou-sensei's. He was carrying a tray of several cups-presumably tea. "If you get too cocky, you lose sight of the fight and you meet your end. I always say that you put your heart and soul into everything you do. This time you seemed to half-ass your work a little near the end, Gintoki". 

"Don't say those kinda words with that kinda smile, Sensei! And I wasn't being cocky! This guy was the cocky one! And I-". 

"Gintoki, there's a vein popping out of your head, so why not calm down and drink some tea?" Katsura offered, holding back laughter. 

"Calm down?! I'm being totally degraded here! That's it! We're starting the vote over! And I swear I'll write way better than you did today, Takasugi! It'll blow your mind! Eh...Why...Why is everyone laughin'?!" 

The children began to snicker then laugh out loud, seeing Gintoki's sudden change in behaviour. Of course, they were laughing with him and not at him. Even Shouyou-sensei hid his laughter behind his hand. Looking at this scene, Takasugi was amazed. All these children were so closely connected, laughing and having fun in the most ridiculous situations. It was incredible. 

"...Hah...Pfft, hahahaha!" Eventually, in the midst of the ridiculous situation he faced, Takasugi also burst out into laughter. He had never laughed so hard in his life. He had never really laughed...at all. His sides were splitting, his eyes brimming with tears of joy. He felt some sort of belonging here, acceptance, a sense of being carefree. It was as if all the weights of studying endlessly, attending boring classes and having to stay in his room all the time were lifted, if only for this one moment. And he wished, from the bottom of his heart, that the fun could last a little longer...that he didn't have to go back home ever again... 

... 

Takasugi dragged his feet back to the manor, although the giddy feeling remained in his mind. Just for a little while longer he wished to stay in that place, be with his closest friends... Huh? Friends? They were his...friends? Takasugi's smile faded. His friends...The words repeated in his head as he tried to process that. He had made friends. For the first time, he had made real friends. At the thought, he didn't feel so lonely anymore. The smile returned, although more mellow and a lot less giddy from laughing so hard. He entered his house, the lights turned off in the entranceway. He was quiet, looking around the unnecessarily large hallway. Wary, Takasugi removed his shoes and stepped up onto the hallway in order to head straight back to his bedroom before he was caught by one of the housekeepers. The floorboards creaked softly against his footsteps, the silence proving to be quite ominous. As Takasugi walked on, nearing the staircase at the end of the hallway, he was suddenly grabbed by the wrist within the darkness and pulled into one of the rooms. He resisted, struggling in an attempt to get away. 

"Ack! L-let go! Let go of me, dammit! Aagh! Hurts...! It hurts! Aah!" 

With sheer force, Takasugi was dragged into the room, the bones in his puny arms nearly crushed under the force of a rather large hand. The grip tightened as soon as Takasugi looked up and saw his attacker. His eyes widened, his throat suddenly dry. He felt the fear course through him in uncontrollable shivers. Standing before him, eyes glaring at him angrily, was his father. 

"You...". 

"Ghah...!" His grip on Takasugi's left arm became tighter, the pain pulsating through the flesh and bone. 

"I have to have a word with you...". The man's voice was as cold as his stare, as forceful and firm as his painful grip on Takasugi's arm. "A little bird told me that you've been visiting that private school up in the mountains. A few of your old classmates have been keeping a close eye on you and...well...". 

"Aack! Let go of my you bastard! Let go!" Takasugi tried to resist, struggling still as he tried to escape. 

"Don't you dare to speak to me that way you monster!" A hand struck Shinsuke's face, the familiar sting coursing through his cheek. But he didn't give up. He kicked and he struggled, trying to get away from his father. "You disobedient little fuck! How dare you become involved with that bastard Yoshida! God only knows what he's been putting into your thick little skull! Well, I suppose this is proof enough. Your disobedience and stupidity...Your mother should have never given birth to you, you kmow that? You're a disgrace...A fucking disgrace-do you hear me?!" 

"Ack...!" 

Takasugi was thrown to the ground, his left arm limp and broken. But it didn't stop there...sadly... 

"Before I throw you out onto the streets, where you belong, I'm going to do something I should have done a long time ago...". 

There was pain...So much pain...Every strike that Shinsuke's father made left a bigger bruise each time. It was the first time he had ever taken such a harsh beating. On the rare occasions that he would receive some sort of punishment, Takasugi would recieve a mere slap to the wrist, or a harsh slap to his face. This...He couldn't bear this. It was too much...He wanted to call out, but nobody would come. He wanted to pass out and be done with this, but he couldn't... 

("Somebody...Anybody...!") 

There was a pause in his father's actions, and the hitting stopped. Takasugi thought that the old man had exhausted his energy by now. But this wasn't the case. Takasugi hadn't heard the distant knock at the front door. All that he could hear within the haze was his father's command for Shinsuke to wait right there, or else...The man left to answer the door, irritated, obviously wanting whoever it was to leave immediatly. Takasugi wanted to get up and run, but he was too dizzy. Instead, he watched the hallway from where he lay and listened as best he could. Was it meaningless? Or was he saved? He could just hear the voices...and recognised them both. 

("You...What the hell do you want?! Get the hell off my property you rebel scum!") 

("My apologies, but I just came to visit Shinsuke and ask something of him, if you don't mind") 

("What?! Of course I mind! I don't want you coming anywhere near that brat! You've already filled his head with propaganda nonsense! Now get out of here before I lose my patience and beat the shit outta you too!") 

("Too? I'm sorry, sir, but your threats do not matter to me. I have no interest in spouting propaganda to children such as your own. I'm simply a teacher, protecting his students. Although you're threats do not affect me, I'm afraid I cannot let you lay another finger on one of my students"). 

("That's none of your business-Oi! Get away from me! Stay back!") 

Takasugi could feel his consciousness slipping away, his eyes closing as his mind went blank. The voices sounded distant, turning into a faint echo before all sound was cut off, and silence remained. The pain was numbed almost completely, even when he woke up from his long, blank dream. 

... 

A dim light glowed above him, the entire room over-shadowed in a blur. Takasugi groaned, the dull pain pulsating in his head and left arm. He wanted to sit up, but the dizziness kept him grounded for the time being. His arm was broken, definitely broken after being attacked so harshly by his father. It was the first and last time he would ever suffer such physical agony, he hoped. 

"So you're finally awake". Upon hearing the familiar and gentle voice of Shouyou-sensei, Takasugi turned his head as much as possible in the direction of his voice. "I wouldn't try to move so much. You've been through a terrible ordeal". 

"Sen-...Sensei...What...happened?" 

"I don't think you have to worry about your father anymore. As it turns out, he's been dealing in some suspicious business as a part of his trade. Blackmail, unfair pay to employees, etcetera. Honestly, he's a troublesome man. I just had a word with him and I can assure you he will leave you alone. I know he's your father, but you're my student, Shinsuke. I feel it's my duty to protect you, even from parents who claim beating a child is the same as disipline". 

"Sensei...I...don't know what to say. I mean...if I can't go back home then...". 

"It's entirely up to you where you go from here. I've noticed that, in your stories, you like to give the main character a happy ending no matter what situation they are in. That was you're decision. The happy endings are the places where you feel comfortable, am I correct?" 

"Y-yeah...". 

"I find it strange, though. In contrast to your stories, Gintoki's stories are always left at a cliffhanger of some sort. I believe he's conflicted on how to end it, unsure of which road to take. I think...he's still thinking about the ending, wondering where he feels most comfortable. I hope, one day, he can finish it properly, leaving the main character in a happy or suitable place. It makes me question whether he is truely comfortable where he is. Are you content, Shinsuke? Or do you wish to change the ending?" 

"....I...". 

"Oiii, Takasugi, Dr. Gin-san and nurse Zura are here to get your ass up". 

"Why do I have to be the nurse?" 

"You're right, Zura. You're not a woman and you're not cute enough to be a nurse". 

Takasugi's eyes were affixed on the door to this room-both Gintoki and Zura standing just outside with a tray at hand. Gintoki entered first, holding some piece of clothing under his arm. Takasugi gently sat up from his futon, dizzy but fairly okay. Gintoki passed the clothing to him--or, he pretty much forced it on Takasugi in an attempt to be of some comfort. 

"Here, autumn's on the way so you can borrow my hoodie until you get better". 

"Why would I wear this? I can't, anyway, my broken arm would get in the way". 

"Oi, it's the thought that counts you ungrateful turd". 

"...Why the hell does this stink of curry?" 

"Ahhh, well, curry was on the menu today and I accidentally spilled some". 

"This is such a half-assed gift! No thought was put into this at all! You could have at least washed it!" 

"Can't be bothered". Gintoki muttered, picking at his nose. 

"You are pissing me off, you know that?!" 

"Takasugi, if you're hungry, Gintoki and I brought some leftover curry. It should be fine, right?" 

"Or can you eat with your flaccid arm? Oh, I know". Gintoki picked up the spoon provided with the meal, scooping up a spoonful of rice and curry before blowing away the steam. He brought it close to Takasugi's face. "Say ahh~". 

"I can eat it myself, moron! And don't look at me with those dead fish eyes!" 

"Man, when you're a limp, stinky old man I'd hate to be your carer. If you wanted it, just get your limp, stinky grankids to do it". 

"You really are pissing me off. If my arm wasn't broken, I'd strangle you right now". 

"Come on, Shinsuke, no threats. It never hurt to say thank you". Takasugi wasn't one to argue back to Shouyou-sensei, thus he was left speechless. 

"Yeah, Takasugi. Be grateful that Zura and I went to so much trouble". 

"Grr...Haaah, fine. Thanks...Zura, and Gintoki". 

"It's not Zura and Gintoki. It's Katsura". 

"That's it: you're both pissing me off".

"Ehh? Is that anyway to treat your friends, Takasugi?" 

"Who said either of you were my friends?" 

"Nobody, but you were thinkin' it". 

"How would you-...I mean, as if! You guys are deluding yourselves". 

Maybe Takasugi was content where he was, and simply failed to show it through words. He realised these feelings himself. Without any family manor or prestigious, private school to attend he would have to settle down here, at this school. It wasn't a difficult decision since it was the only place to turn to. Plus, he felt like he had been accepted into the closest thing he's ever had to a family. It was right here, offering him curry, curry-stained clothing and a handmade notebook with old-school lessons on every page. This was his school, his home, his...happy ending, finally... 

... 

... 

At that time, under the cloud-ridden sky, tears streamed down Katsura's face. He hiccuped and frantically tried to wipe the sorrow away. It wouldn't stop, though. It wouldn't stop for as long as he stood before these two graves-his parents, gone forever-in meloncholy and a harsh sense of lonliness. At the time, that specific moment, his grandmother stood by his side. A short old woman who rubbed circles into Kotarou's back for comfort. 

"Kotarou, it's alright for you to cry. Let all the tears out, otherwise the pain will sink deeper. You're parents may be gone, but you are still here; alive and well. As long as you are here, the Katsura family will not perish. Do you understand?" 

Kotarou responded with a weak nod in understanding, sniffling, his vision a blur with tears. 

"It's alright for you to be weak, and perhaps even a coward. As long as you are alive, and as long as you lead well, then there is no shame or guilt to bare. Remember that you are not a hero who's destiny is to save everyone, Kotarou. You are simply human, a boy. If there is something you wish to protect, that is up to you as long as you protect yourself in the process. After all, you are a very bright boy. I'm sure you're mother and father are proud". 

Those words had grown distant, almost disappearing in Kotarou's mind. To protect them...and protect yourself...What a heavy burden to bear... 

... 

"It was quiet; the ringing of the bells had ceased. Silence...". 

It was at this point of the story-Takasugi's late horror story-that all the children who gathered around to hear it were on the very edge of suspence. They listened, frightened expression on their faces. The whole room was darkened, the outside proving to be much darker since the switch from summer to autumn. A spooky atmosphere, a spooky story to be told before bed. Takasugi, for extra effect, held a flashlight under his chin, creating the terrifying shadows across his features. He continued. 

"It was then that Sekai thought she was in the clear, that she could escape this nightmare once and for all. She ran as fast as she could towards the front entrance of the house. The floorboards creaked violently under each rushed step. She drew closer and closer to the door, her mind blank as she blindly reached out for the rusted handle. She prayed for it to be unlocked, prayed that she would be shown mercy. However, just as she grabbed the doorknob, something grabbed her too". 

The children who were gathered around grew tense, staring intently at Takasugi's facial expressions as he contiued his story. 

"The grip was tight, strong hands chilled to the bone. Frozen, unable to move, her eyes drifted down towards the thing that was scratching her ankles, jagged nails clawing and digging deeply into her skin until blood seeped from the wound. She would have screamed in pain if the fear hadn't cut off her vocal cords. When her eyes met the thing, her heart stopped for several seconds. There, crawling by her feet, was the woman. The ghost that had been following her this whole time". 

A few gasps escaped from the girls in the group, the immediate response being to cover their mouths to allow Takasugi to finish. 

"It glared at her with wide, bloodshot eyes, blood pouring from her dried up lips. She smiled, saying absolutely nothing. Sekai was in shock, her voice failing to catch up as the ghost dragged her fingernails up trembling legs. Sekai was afraid. Afraid that if she looked away, the woman would grab at her waist, drawing closer to her face-as if wanting to claw the girls eyes out. The doorknob to the front entrance rattled suddenly, but Sekai didn't take her eyes of the woman, scorching that face into her memory. The door rattled on and on for several short, painful seconds before...click...it creaked open, slightly ajar. The momentary silence was ominous, Sekai's gaze instinctively drifting slowly towards the gap in the door. Yet another bloodshot eye, and demented smile stared at her. A hoarse voice through the darkness called out to Sekai and said-...". 

("Is...anyone...still...here?") 

Suddenly, the voice slid in from the hallway, the door to the bedroom slightly open. Hearing this, the children screamed in terror, shutting their eyes tightly, their bodies trembling. It was a loud uproar until the lights were flicked on. 

"...Children, what are you screaming for? It's only me". Shouyou-sensei entered the room, leaving a lot of children dumbfounded at the sudden turn of events. Upon registering his presence, they sighed deeply, relieved. 

"Sensei, you scared the hell outta us". Hanako uttered, her hand clutching her chest. 

"Oops, sorry. Was Shinsuke telling another scary story, when it's way past everyone's bedtime?" 

"Hah, come on, it's just a bit of fun, Sensei". Takasugi spoke, as if trying to reassure everyone that he wasn't serious when telling these stories. 

"All jokes aside, you children should be going to bed. Classes start tomorrow". 

"Awww...". There were several groans of disappointment, despite the earlier shock shared between the students. 

"Come on, everyone. Let's get going. Shinsuke, Koichi, Ana, Kotarou, Hanako, Gin-...Hm? Wait a moment, where is Gintoki?" 

All the children darted their gazes to the spot in which Gintoki sat, only seeing an empty space in the center of the room. 

"Sensei...". Kotarou spoke, pointing towards the sliding closet in the corner of the room. "He's over there". 

Everyone then looked over towards the closet, puzzled. Gintoki had crawled half of his body inside the closet, which was full of futons and bedding, so obviously there wasn't a lot of room. He was visibly trembling, much to everyone's bafflement.

"Um, Gintoki, are you alright?" Shouyou-sensei asked, secretly amused by Gintoki's odd behaviour. 

In a flash, Gintoki backed away from the closet; his face pale. 

"Uh...uhh, well, Sensei, you did just say that it was time to go to bed. I'm just...getting out futons for everyone. Ehehe...". His acting needed work. Definitely. The children stared at him with unconvinced faces, and maybe even expressions of pity towards Gintoki as he tried to hide his obvious fear of the paranormal. 

"I think Gintoki is scared". Koichi pointed out, rather bluntly. 

"Yuup...". Tomoya joined in, too, followed by several other utters in agreement. 

"O-oi! I'm not scared!" The children rolled their eyes, standing up and heading for the sliding closets to pick up their futons. "Don't ignore me. I ain't scared!" 

"It's okay, Gin-san. We won't judge you". 

"I don't wanna hear that from you, Hanako-chan! I'm not scared! At all!" 

Everyone, one at a time, picked up their futons and spread them out around the room, tired. 

"Alright, everyone, settle down. If anyone would like a glass of water, get one now. You all need a good night's sleep". 

"Hey, Sensei...". Takasugi approuched Shouyou-sensei, a smug look on his face. "Thanks for entering when you did. It made for a cool dramatic effect". 

"Hm...Anytime, Shinsuke. But you're horror stories are entertaining enough as they are. You have no need for my dramatic assistance. Now get to bed with everyone else. I'm sure you're the most worn out". 

"I will. Just gonna get water first. My throat's killing me from talking so much". 

"Very well. Everyone else: lights out". 

The children slid under their bedsheets, ready to fall asleep instantly. Gintoki, his cheeks inflated from embarrassment, spread out his futon quite close to Katsura's. He got underneath the sheets, cursing quietly and curling up with the covers draped over his head. Of course he wouldn't admit to being scared of ghosts, but then again Gintoki wasn't a very good actor. The fear was obvious in his actions; such as hiding, trembling, then trying to squirm his way out of the accusations of being scared, then failing miserably. Ever since Takasugi began to share those stories, Gintoki had only just discovered one of his biggest fears, but also a massive pet peeve. Yes, he was afraid of ghosts. And yes, that fact alone irritated him greatly. Even when realising it himself, he would still deny it. But at the time he was certain that such a silly fear wouldn't affect him in his adulthood. Pssh, yeah right... 

... 

He was restless. Gintoki was restless in his sleep. It was difficult to recall whether he actually did get any sleep during the night. His young mind was filled with the vivid images of Takasugi's story. It was haunting and disquieting. He opened his eyes to a dark room, thoroughly agitated.

"That bastard...". He whispered under his breath before sitting up. 

Bringing his knees close to his chest, Gintoki looked around the room hurridly, grounded in one spot. It was so quiet, the ticking of the clock in the corner of the room acting as the only sound. He felt stupid for feeling so panic-stricken. It was just a story. A stupid, stupid story. There was no such thing as ghosts. In these quiet moments, Gintoki tried to convince himself of that, all while wanting to curl up in a ball until morning. He continued to look around, trying to face his fear and reassure himself that there was no ghosts standing quietly at the corner of the room, or hiding in the closet. Yes...He felt incredibly stupid. Gintoki looked to one side where a single futon lay beside him. It was a recognisable futon design; purple with a pattern of yellow butterflies. It was Takasugi's futon; an empty futon. The anxiety crept up on Gintoki, his mind racing as he wondered frantically where Takasugi had gone. He turned to the other side, where Katsura was sleeping peacefully under his own futon. 

Gintoki shook him, knowing that having another person in a conscious state would ease his fears. 

"Oi, Zura...". He whispered. "Zura, wake up. Wake up". He repeated in a hushed but firm voice, his efforts earning results eventually. 

Katsura groaned; awake. He rubbed his eyes and very carefully sat up. 

"Mn...Gintoki? What is it? How come you're still up?" 

"It's Takasugi, he's not in his futon". 

"Huh? Wait, what time is it?" Katsura looked over to the only clock in the room, squinting his eyes in order to adjust to the darkness which robbed him of a clear vision, if but for a moment. From what he saw, it was already ten in the evening. Way past everyone's bedtime, which was usually at seven or eight. "...It's pretty late. He did say he went to get water...but...". 

"Do you think...he disappeared?" Gintoki shuddered at the thought, struggling to hide his fear. 

"While getting water? No...See, his futon's laid out. Meaning he must have come back while we were all sleeping. His glass of water is also here". 

"So, what, he wandered off for some reason?" 

"Looks like it. But I wouldn't worry, Gintoki. I'm sure he's fine so...don't let his stories get to you". 

"They're not gettin' to me. I'm not scared...Really". 

"...". 

"You don't believe me? Fine, I'll go out there and look for Takasugi". 

"He probably just went to the bathroom. Haah, but fine, whatever. I'm going back to sleep". 

"Eh...W-wait, you're not coming with me?" 

"No? Why would I?" 

"Er...B-because...let's say that something did happen to Takasugi...it would be dumb for one person to go looking for him without another guy there, in case we need to get help from Sensei. Ya know?" 

Katsura let out another sigh. ("Poor Gintoki..."). He thought; pitying the boy for his fear. It wasn't irrational for a child to be afraid of ghosts, but Gintoki didn't originally seem like the type to be scared of anything. Katsura silently hoped that this fear wouldn't affect him in his adulthood. 

"Fine, I'll come with you. But if it turns out he did just go to the bathroom, then you're gonna be the one to explain to him why you decided to go look for him". 

"...Whatever. Let's just go". 

The two boys quietly exited the bedroom, being cautious as not to tread on any of the other children. Once they had carefully made their exit into the hallway, an unsettled feeling crawled up Gintoki's skin, like goosebumps. 

"Alright, let's go look for Takasugi. But I'm sure he's fine, Gintoki. No need to worry". 

"Oi, I'm not worrying about that emo kid. I'm just...curious to see where he...went. He could've found the entrance to Narnia, for all we know". 

"Haah, I don't think you understood that book very well". 

"It was in english, and Takasugi ended up reading it in Japanese...most of it, anyway. Show off...". 

"Haah, look, let's just get going to "ease you're curiosity". He couldn't have gone far, so let's-". Katsura paused, a sudden grip tightening around his hand. He was puzzled, and then seriously concerned. "Uhm, Gintoki...what're you doing?" 

Gintoki was holding onto Katsura's hand, inbetween his palm and his wrist. Although it was almost as if Gintoki was unaware of his unusual actions. 

"What? I-I thought you might be scared, so...a-and this is a precaution. Y-yeah, so we don't get separated". 

"You're pride is really wearing thin at this point, isn't it?" 

"Sh-shut it, Zura. Fine, I can manage without this...". 

"You just admitted that you held my hand so you could manage the situation. Are you a complete moron?" 

Shaking, Gintoki let go of Katsura's hand and backed away slowly. They began walking down the hallway, although Gintoki stuck close to Katsura. The school wasn't that big, so Takasugi couldn't have fone far if he really did wander off. There was no light source to carry; like a flashlight. They were wandering around in total darkness, much to Gintoki's dismay. Gintoki pulled out his switchblade from the pocket of his sweatpants, clicking it open as he prepared himself to strike at anything that didn't belong here. He felt some security when carrying his weapon, although he struggled to grip the handle with such shaky hands. 

"Hey, Gintoki...". Still whispering, Katsura spoke to Gintoki to break the silence as he felt remaining quiet would unsettle Gintoki more. "It's okay if you're scared. I won't judge you". 

"Hahh? I'm no coward, Zura. If I need to fight something, I'll do it. If I have to come face to face with my biggest nightmares, I'll do it. No matter what...". 

"You're words don't match your demeanor, y'know. I'm saying it's okay to be a coward because, the truth is that...I'm a coward...too". 

The two boys stopped walking, Gintoki's expression unreadable in the darkness. But Katsura didn't turn his eyes away from him. He looked at Gintoki with pride, regardless of those words. 

"Zura, you-...!" 

Suddenly, from the far distance of the hallway, there was a suspicious creak that issued within the darkness. Gintoki presented the switchblade, his hand trembling. Katsura stood close to Gintoki, grabbing his arm as if preparing to make a mad dash. Desite his carefree attitude earlier, an ominous feeling polluted his thoughts. He was unsure, cautious, uneasy. His thoughts told him to turn back out of instinct. He had his suspicions on the silhouette that slowly approuched the two boys from the opposite end of the hallway, but the shadow was moving rather slowly as if sleepwalking or maybe they were...sneaking. If that was the case then...they hadn't noticed Gintoki or Katsura, as they were completely silent. Although he considered himself cowardly and cautious, Katsura took the chance to confirm his suspicions. 

"...Takasugi?" Gintoki spun around, his expression showing both anxiety and anger with Katsura's actions. 

"What're you doing?!" He whispered, although his tone was harsh. "What if it's-". 

"...? Zura? Is that you?" The boy's looked towards the hallway again. Just like that, their minds were at ease. 

It was indeed Takasugi. He approuched his friends, provoking sighs of relief. 

"Damn it, Takasugi...". Gintoki cursed. "You scared the shit outta Zura". 

"Oi! You were the one who was scared! And stop calling me Zura! It's annoying!" 

"Hey, will you two lower your voices? Otherwise they'll-...! Crap, get down". With a single glance to the window, Takasugi grabbed Gintoki's wrist and the hem of Katsura's shirt, pulling them both down to the floor in crouched positions. Puzzled, and curious, they all peered out the window to see what the big fuss was. Almost immediatly, they caught wind of the men wandering around outside the school, waving flashlights around in the darkness. 

"Hey, Takasugi, who're those guys?" Gintoki asked, keeping a close eye on the three trespassers. 

"I dunno exactly. But I have a hunch as to why they're snooping around here". 

"...? You do?" 

"I haven't been home or at my old school for about a month now, ever since I was disowned by my parents. Some of my father's "business friends" might suspect that I'm here. Either that or the government are trying to snoop around Sensei. Maybe both...". 

"Why would they care if you're here? You're parents disowned you, right?" 

"Yeah, well, I am still the son of a major business owner. If they suspect Shouyou-sensei of taking me in, raising me to rebel against the government in the future...Ah, damnit...It's my fault they're here, isn't it?" 

"No, it's not". Katsura argued. "It's not you're fault, Takasugi. They had their suspicions of Sensei for a while, haven't they? Besides, those are because of baseless rumours". 

"Yeah, but staying here means they'll confirm their stupid suspicions. Unless...Unless we drive them away somehow". 

"Are you an idiot or somethin'? How're you gonna drive away a bunch of grown-ups?" Gintoki's question irritated Takasugi, especially while he wore such an aloof expression. "But, we can't exactly sit and do nothing. The only problem is that you don't have a plan". 

"...Tch!" 

Silently, to himself, Katsura thought over the situation at hand. He wasn't one to be a part of confrontation. Perhaps there was no need to be. 

"Takasugi, if it comes down to it, then maybe...". Gintoki brought out his switchblade, only for Katsura to grab his wrist."...?!" 

"No, Gintoki. Something like that...I know you're not that reckless. You're not--there's no way". 

"Zura, I'd do anything to protect this place, to protect Sensei and his disiples. If it really did come down to it, I'd fight". 

"But think about it for a second. Maybe...maybe we don't need to fight. I think I have a plan to get rid of them, peacefully. I just need you two to trust me". 

"...Are you sure?" Katsura gave a nod, confident and sincere in this plan of his. "...Okay. Then I elect you as leader for this plan. What do you wanna do?" 

."...O-okay. Uhm, first of all, Takasugi, you should stay out of sight". 

"Huh? Wait, won't you guys need some sort of back-up?" 

"They can't know you're here. Like you said; that would raise a lot of unneeded suspicion towards Sensei. All you have to do is keep an eye out. If things look bad, get Sensei so he can help resolve any conflict. In fact...Yes, you should get him when we're out there and tell him what's going on". 

"Right...". 

"Until then, Gintoki and I will stall them, pretending not to know you and that you never came here". 

"...If you're sure, then fine. I'll trust you guys to get this over with. Good luck, and don't say or do anything stupid".

Keeping in mind that he didn't want to get caught, Takasugi crawled across the floor as he made his cautious journey to find Shouyou-sensei. Katsura volunteered to head out first to meet the trespassers, requesting Gintoki to follow his lead shortly. Although anxious and uneasy, Katsura chose to bite his tongue and believe in his plan. 

("Sorry, Grandma. I can't run away or cry at a time like this..."). 

He stepped outside, taking slow steps as he rubbed the "sleep" out of his eyes and brought about a yawn from his throat. The flashlight's rays darted in Katsura's direction, and he flinched as if blinded by the sudden light. 

"Who's there?" One of the men asked, soon surprised to see a young boy exit the school. 

"Mm? What? Who...Who're you?" He asked, faking the exhaustion and weariness. 

"A-ah...". The men were speechless, looking at one another as if trying to come up with a good answer that didn't make them look suspicious. Too late, unfortunately. "W-well, young man, we just...wanted to know if you've seen or heard of a boy about you're age called Shinsuke Takasugi. We were wondering if he came through here, or...". 

"Huh? Who's that?" 

"...So you...haven't seen him?" Katsura gave a weary, innocent shake of his head in response. 

"...Are you sure? He's a young boy, short black hair and-...". 

"Oi, Zura, what're you doin' out here?" Gintoki entered the scene, acting just as tired as Katsura. It was pretty convincing as his natural perm made it look like he literally just got out of bed. "We're supposed to be goin' over Home Ec' tomorrow, so if you're tired then...Eh? Who're these guys?" 

"I dunno. They said they were looking for another kid or something. Shinji Takashita or...Takagawa or something...". 

"Does it matter? We don't know these guys, so let's head back inside". 

"...I guess you're right". 

"W-wait...!" One of the men called out to the boys, gaining their "half-alseep" attention once more. "Did you say...you were learning Home Economics?" 

"Aki, that's irrelevent!" 

"Sensei's gonna teach us how to make udon tomorrow". Katsura replied, regardless of their disdainful whispers. "We learn a lot in Home Ec'...". 

"Huh...". 

"...-...!" 

"What's going on out here?" Then, finally, Shouyou-sensei arrived on the scene, startling the strange men upon seeing him. "Oh, good evening. May I help you, gentlemen?" 

"Uh...Well...". 

"Sensei, they were askin' about some kid named...er...What was it?" Katsura turned to the men, leaving them speechless. 

"...N-nevermind. He doesn't seem to be here. Uh, sorry to bother you so late at night". The men, taking another quick glance of the school, gradually made their way down the path leading away from the building. It was a huge relief for Katsura, Takasugi and Gintoki. Shouyou-sensei, however, showed no signs of worry or distress over the situation. 

Everyone entered the school once again, finding Takasugi sitting against the wall with his knees close to his chest, in waiting for everyone to come back. He stood up, stammering over his words. 

"I...er, I-I...You guys...Um...Wh-why did you do that? I mean, those guys could have easily seen through your lie if you faltered once, but...". 

"You're our friend, Takasugi". Katsura's claim brought some level of comfort to Takasugi, but also this sense of uncomfortability at such a foreign feeling. He never had friends before, after all. "And we wouldn't allow a few adults to scare us if it meant protecting a friend and defending our teacher". 

"Zura...". 

"Katsura". Katsura's tone changed immediatly after that over-used error. "It's Katsura. Honestly...". 

"Erm, I wouldn't exactly call ya a friend, but I wasn't gonna let a bunch of old geezers take you away or whatever. You got that, Takasugi?" Although Gintoki's words were less sensitive, Takasugi was partially grateful for them. 

"Well, children, this is all very touching. However...". The three boys looked up at their teacher, although they didn't have long to look as a sharp pain struck their foreheads in the span of three to five seconds. 

"Ack...!" 

"Ow...!" 

"Agh...!" 

All three boys crouched down, mumbling incoherently as the sting throbbed against the center of their heads. 

"Aren't you all a hundred years to early to start telling lies to adults? I understand it was to protect your friend and this school, but if you had called me sooner rather than later instead of leaping into the situation then maybe you wouldn't have had to lie" 

"Sorry, Sensei". Katsura was the one to apologise, despite it being his plan in the first place. "We just wanted to stop those men from snooping around the school. This is a special place, it's like home to us. If anyone were to take that away-...?" 

Shouyou-sensei gently ruffled Katsura's hair. Did he understand those intetions? Knowing Sensei, probably. 

"I understand, Kotarou. But at you're age, one shouldn't be so reckless. It sounds harsh, but at such a tender age you have much more to lose if things went wrong. When you're older, you'll have experience when it comes to making mistakes and learning from them, taking things one step at a time to avoid more disasters. Do you understand, Kotarou?" 

"Yes, Sensei. I understand". 

"I'm glad. If something like this happens again, please inform me first and place yourself out of harms way". 

"I will...try, Sensei. I'm sorry again". 

"It's alright. As long as my students are safe, that is all I care about. So why don't you all head to bed and you can give me your original excuse for wandering around so late at night? Hm?" 

Gintoki and Takasugi averted their guilty gazes, fidgeting and kicking the air awkwardly as they failed to look their teacher in the eyes. Shouyou-sensei let out a sigh as if saying "what am I going to do with all of you?" Kindly, Shouyou-sensei escorted the boys back to their room. It was late. Really late for a couple of elementary school boys, and Gintoki who was sadly used to being awake late at night until he would find a safe place to sleep, when he was still living on the streets. If they stayed up any later, then their usual burst of energy would stop dead the next morning. 

... 

As the children ran around outside, enjoying the autumn air, playing in the mounds of fallen leaves, Gintoki sat on the porch of the school--restless. He fidgeted and squirmed uncomfortably as Shouyou-sensei cut down his mop of silver hair. It was the first time Gintoki had ever gotten a hair cut and, to say the least, he hated it. The fallen hairs itched and pricked into the nape of his neck like the dead leaves of autumn. It was like he was playing with the others, although he was at a far distance and he most certainly wasn't having fun. Next to him sat Katsura, indulging in a quiet book. 

"Oi, Sensei, how come Zura isn't getting his hair cut?" 

"Because I want to grow it out". Katsura answered plainly, flipping the page of his children's novel. "I like having long hair". 

"Psssh, what a lame excuse. You just don't wanna hair cut. I can't grow mine out like you. I don't wanna be a puffball!" 

"Gintoki, can you stay still for me? It's rather difficult to make your hair even". 

"Haaah, Sensei, you might as well give up then. My natural perm is incurable". 

"Don't say that. Take pride in the appearance your parents gave you". 

"If you say so, but one of my folk's must have been in a shampoo-related accident or somethin' for me to be born like this...". 

"I'm sure that's not the case. Now hold still". 

"Geez...". Gintoki grumbled, choosing to endure the haircut a little while longer. 

"Say, Kotarou, about what happened last night...". Shouyou-sensei began as he tried his best to measure out Gintoki's strands of hair with his fingers. "It was definitely your idea to confront those men, am I correct?" 

"Er...Y-yes, Sensei". 

"I see. Again, I understand your intentions. We did discuss this briefly, but...I feel as if I must elaborate on a point or two, if you don't mind. Just some advice for you". 

"Of course. I'm listening". 

"Sometimes, especially when you're older, you will come across a few difficult situations with a few difficult choices to make. Since you are a bright boy, Kotarou, I have the utmost belief that you will tread carefully in your decisions, like a leader. But I must inform you now that there is a fine line between cowardice and caution. The true definition of cowardice is simply a lack of bravery, the desire to run away from a situation in fear of one's own life or status. Caution is usually the result of common sense and step-by-step thinking, even in the tightest situations. There are cautious leaders, and then there are cowardice leaders. I feel as if you are a cautious leader, Kotarou. You think carefully about the next step, while also being prepared to step in to protect your friends and loved ones if the time called for it. You do not run away, you simply keep at a safe distance while also guiding your friends or comrades, as we shall put it. I can see that in you, and I respect it greatly". 

"Sensei...". Katsura grew distracted from his book, distancing himself from the words as he listened to Shouyou-sensei's instead. 

"You are still a child, thus your actions last night can be understood. However, if it was a more dangerous situation, I ask that you think of the safest way to guide your friends and yourself to safety. A leader must support their team. Without the team, the leader has no right to title themselves as such". 

"...Thank you, Sensei. I'll definitely be more careful next time. If...there is a next time". 

"I'm glad to hear it, but let us hope there isn't another situation, like the one from last night, in the near future. If we're lucky, it won't happen again". 

"What about me, Sensei?" Gintoki asked out of the blue, staring out into the distance. "If Zura is the leader, what am I?" 

"You, Gintoki...You are more like a soldier under command. But less obedient and more reckless". 

"Yeah, can't deny that". 

"But you're reckless in a way that shows how much you care for your friends. You fight on, despite the impossible situation before you and you strive to protect those you care about...Even if that means you must carry a heavy burden on your back. Even if you have the option to drop it, you continue to fight and hold onto the burden for as long as you're still standing. Like a samurai, if you think about it". 

"A samurai, huh...Never thought of it that way...". 

Gintoki stared out across the woodlands, where the children explored and played their made-up games. As he stared out, Gintoki wondered something. He asked the question that Shouyou-sensei did not answer for him. Just what...kind of burden was Gintoki carrying on his back? Or was there a burden or two to come? He asked these questions, curious, but did not hold the answer to them, either. Kotarou, on the other hand, felt a little more confident in his abilities. He could be a leader if he wished...A cautious leader. Of course he wasn't totally free of the title "coward" but perhaps he could shed such a title one day, only to be more cautious and prepared for difficult situations in the future. But it seemed both boys were liable to carrying heavy burdens on their backs; the burden of leadership and the burden of being a protector of sorts... 

... 

... 

Autumn had soon traversed into winter, but the desire for the children to continue their games and adventures outside didn't end so easily. It had become normal for Gintoki to stay inside the school, talking with Shouyou-sensei privately about varies topics. Nothing incedibly interesting, but nothing dull or boring either. And today, after private lessons-including maths and japanese-he two sat down and played checkers. The board was used during the rain season, mostly, when the children couldn't go outside to play. Gintoki had just recently learned the ins and outs of checkers, and believed he would win against Shouyou-sensei this time. However, the end results looked grim. 

"...There. King me". Shouyou-sensei sounded quite proud of his move, taking away the defeated pieces that once belonged to Gintoki. 

"Dammit...!" Gintoki cursed, placing one of Shouyou-sensei's discarded pieces on top of the other. Sensei had regained it once more. "Sensei, you're way to good at these board games. How am I supposed to beat you?" 

"Practice makes perfect, Gintoki. That is common knowledge. However, I believe simply practicing is not enough to defeat me, I'm afraid. In order to defeat a monster, you must acknowledge it as such and become one yourself". 

"That's, er...A weird way of putting it, Sensei". 

"Keep your friends close and your enemies closer as they say. If you understand your opponent better than they know themself, there is no doubt that you have a chance to grasp victory. Understand their moves, think carefully, and then strike when they least expect it. I find that to be very effective when playing boards games". 

"You say it's for board games, but aren't ya just talking about real fights?"

Gintoki glanced out the window, observing the children as they dragged their feet through the thick mounds of snow--still smiling despite the cold covering their cheeks and gloveless hands--under a bright sky. The storm had ended by morning, allowing the children to enjoy the clear weather. The snow used to be a nightmare for Gintoki, exceeding his risk of incurable sickness and possible death. Somehow he survived every winter, striving to make it to spring. It was always a struggle, but being in the warmth and safety of the inside was so foreign to him. There was still so much to get used to. Staring out at the scene, Gintoki felt conflicted. Did he prefer to stay inside and play checkers with Shouyou-sensei. Or experience the fun of winter without fearing for his life? 

"Gintoki, why don't you play with the other children today? The snow has become quite high overnight, and the sky is surprisingly clear. Even Shinsuke is a part of their games. It seems he's grown quite attatched to this place, even after everything he's been through". 

"...I dunno, Sensei. Over the past few months, I've never really thought about playing with the other kids. I know them and I suppose I can call them friends, but I don't really know what it's like to go outside and lose myself in those games". 

"Gintoki, those children are the same as you. They thought they had no chance of experiencing a real childhood, but now they fufill every second with fun and games that make up the most of adolescents. I believe it's important to make every second count, be a child at heart no matter how old you get. Things like snow are to be experienced and appreciated. It couldn't hurt to ask the other children if you could join in. What do you say?" 

"...A child at heart, eh? Haah...Okay. I'll go ask if I can join them, but if it's too cold and too exhausting, I'm outta there". 

"Haha, Gintoki, you sound like an old man". 

"...! Hah, geez, I do, don't I? Well, I don't plan to act like an old geezer for a long time, so I'll take your advice. I'll pledge to be a child at heart no matter how old I get". 

"That's the spirit. I'm sure if you ask the other childre, they will let you join. Run along now". 

Gintoki got up, walking towards the door as he tried to fill his head with enthusiasm and fun. It...wasn't working so far, unfortunately. 

"Aren't you coming along, Sensei?" 

"Hm? I will catch up with you all shortly. Off you go, and be careful outside". 

"You got it, Sensei. Thanks". 

Gintoki made his way to the front entrance, slipping on a pair of rubber boots and a spare coat. Sensei approuched, a red scarf in hand. He kneeled in front of Gintoki, wrapping the scarf around his neck. 

"You may borrow this for as long as you wish. I took the time to make the scarf myself, so please take good care of it for me". 

"Really? Wow, thanks, Sensei. I won't lose it or anything. Promise". 

"I'll hold you to that. Now go have fun". 

With a nod and a faint, hidden smile behind the scarf, Gintoki headed outside into the cold. He treaded carefully in the snow that sunk his ankles deeper with every step. He made his was towards the children, specifically towards Katsura as he scooped up a ball of snow into his hands, stained red from the cold. He just noticed Gintoki, greeting him with uneven breaths. 

"Haa, hey, Gintoki". He said, frosted breath drifting from his lips before he pulled his scarf up for warmth. "Wanna play? We were just about to have a snowball fight". 

"Er, sure...". 

"You'd better hurry up then!" Takasugi called out from the distance, snowball at the ready. "Otherwise you'll get creamed". 

"Who was talkin' to you, emo brat?! I'll knock you on your ass!" 

Gintoki suddenly sounded very confident and enthusiastic-the authentisity of his words surprised Katsura and Takasugiheir gazes affixed on an energetic Gintoki. They each spread out, beginning the fight with the other children. It was a very open space, so there was no way to take cover. But a close range fight was just as fun. Gintoki scooped up his first snowball in haste, tossing it skillfully at the first kid who past by; Tomoya. He rushed to a nee spot, only for a thick ball of frozen snow to fly across the air and strike him square in the back. He flinched at the ice cold sensation, turning around to see Takasugi smirk proudly. It didn't last as one of the girls, Ana, tossed a snowball directly at Takasugi's shoulder. He grimaced upon impact, but quietly laughed it off. Well, that didn't last either when another snowball hit him in the face. He shook it off. From the direction, it was obviously Gintoki who threw it. At that, Takasugi's grimace remained. He dashed over, scooping up a handful of snow on the way. Gintoki made his own mad dash, laughing in amusement at Takasugi's anger. 

"Oi! Come back here! I'll get you back for that, ya turd!" 

"Aww! Takasugi-kun got embarrassed in front of Ana-chan~!" 

"I'm gonna kill you! Gintokiii!" 

Gintoki sprinted through the snow, nearly tripping over his own feet several times. This slowed him down gradually, allowing Takasugi to catch up eventually and hold him in a head lock. He ruffled Gintoki's hair with the snow at hand, rubbing freezing cold snow and ice into Gintoki's puffy hair. 

"O-oi! Cut it out! Not the hair, not the hair, not the hair! Ack! It's cold, you idiot! Oi! Zura! Help me!" 

"It's not "Zura help me"! It's Katsura!" Katsura came over too, striking Takasugi with a handful of snow, while also being hit in the process. 

Gintoki escaped the head lock, running off to pick up more snow. In passing Katsura, he threw the ball of snow at him and hit his chest. 

"Hey, I just helped you!" 

"Ya snooze, ya lose, Zura!" 

"Why you-...Gintokiiiii!" 

The laughter echoed in the open air, heavy breaths producing fogs of frost. The sky was clear, just a few clouds drifting by slowly along the sky's current. Gintoki found himself distracted; laughing, having fun, interacting with his friends. When the snowball fight settled down, the children split into groups to build snowmen. The children gathered snow and odd, unmissed objects from inside the school to create their snowmen of different sizes and appearances. For some reason, Gintoki couldn't hold back his laughter when seeing that some of the girls used tomatoes for eyes, making it look like a demented snowman. Most of the children stared in horror at Gintoki's depiction of the Neo Armstrong Cyclone Jet Armstrong Cannon, which was really perfect. And the other children made the effort of creating their school; one tall snowman in the center of several smaller ones. Standing in front of these snowmen, and...the sculpture proudly belonging to Gintoki, Shouyou-sensei had the camera set up to photograph everyone together. Despite the fierce chill of winter, it was a heart-warming moment. An unforgettable one. Gintoki had never had such a cheerful start to winter. But just as he grew used to this bright atmosphere, well... 

... 

"Ugh...That's it, I'm not going outside for the rest of winter". Gintoki grumbled, sniffling. 

He fell sick after being bombarded with snow and ice the previous day. His futon was laid out with heavy bedding, the damp cloth across his forehead being changed for the second time by Shouyou-sensei. Gintoki savoured his cough drop before he had to take the real, disgusting stuff that they call "medicine". He found himself drifting in and out of sleep during the day. And his body felt much weaker than usual. Even so, the time they spent outside was definitely worth it. Speaking of which, he was used to being in freezing cold conditions that he survived countless times. How could he catch such a bad cold now? Gintoki coughed into his face mask, sniffling and groaning as the feverish pain throbbed in his head. He winced, despising tjis illness more than anything else. 

"Looks like you over-did it. What exactly happened while you were outside playing?" Shouyou-sensei replaced the cloth on Gintoki's head for a fresh one. The cold and damp sensation was a small relief. 

"Takasugi rubbed snow into my hair and I was hit with several snowballs". 

"I see. It's surprising. I thought you were tougher than this, Gintoki". 

"...". Gintoki fell silent, looking away from Shouyou-sensei's eyes. 

"Just rest for today. If you feel up to it, I'll prepare some soup for you. How does chicken noddle sound?" 

"...Good, I hope. I don't wanna throw it up by accident". 

"I'm sure it will be fine. Try to get some sleep now". 

Shouyou-sensei rested his hand on Gintoki's head. He was burning up, which was incredibly worrying. Gintoki unconsciously took some comfort in his teacher's hand, resting on his head. Despite the heat that radiated across Gintoki's cheeks, the warmth of Shouyou-sensei's hand made him feel a little better in an emotional sense. If such a gesture could cure him completely, well, wouldn't that be wonderful? But the truth was there was only so much a man like Shouyou-sensei could do. He was still human, after all. But he was the type of man who would say: "if I had the power to cure you, I would. And then I would cure everyone else in the world". His kindess didn't seem to limit itself. Gintoki felt weak, thus he made no attempt to swat Shouyou-sensei's hand away or turn away from him. He was still, closing his eyes. 

"...Sensei, could you...stay for-...j-just a little while lon-...". Gintoki coughed inbetween his sentence, his chest aching with each one. "Just...until I'm asleep?" 

"Yes, I'll be right here. If you need anything at all, then simply ask".

Gintoki gave a weak nod, allowing his eyelids to fall until the whole room was blocked out in total darkness. The slight pain, fever and nausea lingered around while Gintoki was still conscious. He wanted to sleep and forget about it. He wanted it to vanish, like anyone would. He had never had such weak thoughts. For as long as he could remember he endured any condition or situation that came along. He endured it all with a straight expression, not faltering or shaking once. Here, he felt so childish...in the sense of weakness and vulnerability to exposing those weaknesses. But Sensei didn't look down upon him with judgemental eyes. He didn't sympathise with Gintoki. He simply understood. "Everyone is born a weakling, striving to gain strength as they grow older. Although there are many mistakes to be made on the way, we learn from them in order to gain strength, to test our own abilities to the maximum if we want to say "I've grown. I've matured"...". That's what he said with a caring smile. 

Gintoki fell unconscious, the previous pain and feverishness numb and disregarded. In his dream, although fuzzy, Gintoki recalled several vague memories that seemed to only appear when he was delirious-tired and dizzy with sickness. These memories were extremely unclear, all Gintoki could see from his dream was falling snow and a featurelless face looking down at him. Nothing more. Nothing until this faceless person ran off out of sight. In the dream, Gintoki felt no attatchment to this person. They were unfamiliar, unrecognisable, unnecessary in his life. This memory...meant almost nothing to him, like a weird unexplained nightmare with some hidden meaning behind it. Even when in such a blank state during this dream, his physical form did not falter. His sickness did not make a turn for the worst. He was calm...and fast alseep. Whoever they were, when the dream lingered in his mind during wakefullness, Gintoki felt as though he should feel some sort of attatchment or connection to that person. But every time he thought about it, Shouyou-sensei was the one to come to mind. The same images of his smile; how he reached out his hand to Gintoki, ruffled his hair, spoke kind words to him, played board games and sketched...They were Gintoki's most thoughtful memories. Beyond that, there was nothing meaningful. 

During Gintoki's sickness, Shouyou-sensei was the one to take care of him between classes, with some help provided by the students. To cheer him up, the children brought some loose money together and purchased a weekly magazine known as Shonen Jump. Of course, upon reading it, Gintoki was totally lost in the stories but, for some reason, enjoyed the contents anyway. The children gathered around his futon during lunch period and read the manga anthology with him, sharing the one copy. Not that Gintoki minded, he simply wanted to read the next chapters already. It was another clear morning, yet the other kids stayed in the same room with Gintoki. When he felt well enough, he told a few stories off the top of his head that were thoroughly enjoyed. Takasugi seemed a bit envious, but kept quiet about it-naturally. It seemed as though things had changed. Previously, Gintoki had chosen to stsy indoors with Shouyou-sensei instead of playing outside with the other kids. But, right now, instead of going out with them, they came to him with smiles and chicken noodle soup made from scratch. Gintoki didn't know what to think anymore-not while he was still dazed and disoriented, at least. There was no escaping this. He was in a place called home. It was small, there wasn't much, but it was there waiting for him along with friends and a wonderful teacher. If only this sickness would go away, then he could try and smile along with them... 

... 

... 

The winter season had dragged on as Gintoki's illness went on for a few weeks. The rest of the time he stayed within the warmth of the school to try and prevent getting sick again. Spring came around gradually, eventually. And when the time was right, on a clear-albeit chilly-day, Shouyou-sensei decided to take the children out on a trip to see the cherry blossoms. Gintoki walked closely beside Shouyou-sensei, adjusting the red scarf around his neck. He looked around, his eyes taking a glance of Katsura and Takasugi, who had been conversing this whole time. He turned baxk, continuing to walk down the straight path. His eyes wandered towards his teacher, curious. Shouyou-sensei had been quiet this whole time. He hadn't said a lot since they left for the deepest parts of the mountains. Not a word. The other children hadn't noticed, considering his usual cheerful and bright demeanor. It was the most unusual thing. Gintoki had kept quiet himself refraining from asking Shouyou-sensei if he was alright or if there was anything wrong. 

He didn't know why he kept quiet. Realising this fact encouraged him to just come out with it instead of remaining silent. If something really was wrong, if there was a reason for Sensei to act out of the ordinary then Gintoki wanted to know. However, as this thought came to mind, as he prepared to ask Shouyou-sensei the reasoning behind his behaviour, he turned towards Gintoki with his usual faint but kind smile. Even that was a littlle worrying. 

"Is something the matter, Gintoki?" That was Gintoki's line... 

"Nothing in particular. I was just gonna ask you the same, Sensei. You've been kinda quiet today. Did something happpen?" 

"...Nothing in particular, but I do appreciate your concern, Gintoki. Very much so. Thank you...". 

Was there really nothing wrong? Gintoki couldn't believe that so easily, which he detested as he knew Shouyou-sensei never told lies. He was honest-always-even if the truth hurt a little. Even so, he lacked persistence and left the topic at once. If Sensei wouldn't say it now, then what chance was there that he would ever say it? When would he admit that something really was wrong? Gintoki held back a sigh, gripping onto the hem of his scarf tightly, pulling it up to cover his mouth and nose. Still cold outside...just as Gintoki's worried remained. 

... 

At the top of a small hill, near the lake of the forest's deepest reaches, sat Shouyou-sensei and Gintoki. The children sat peacefully at the bottom, watching the cherry blossoms in the process of blooming. It wouldn't be too long. They each hoped to come back for a proper viewing eventually. Gintokiheld between his fingers and odd blossom, shriveled and in its own process of withering. Sensei was just as quiet as before, staring out at the vast forest of trees and the clear blue sky above. He seemed to be daydreaming about something...Something nice. They hadn't spoken a word the whole time as incoherent conversations took place down below. Then, out of the blue, Shouyou-sensei let out a breath. It was calm, relaxed, as was his usual demeanor and expression. He turned his head, looking down at Gintoki with a smile. 

"Gintoki, I know this is sudden but...may I ask a favour of you?" 

"...? Sure, Sensei. Anything". 

"I must ask this of you, wanting only the best to come out of your future. Gintoki, please, do not distance yourself from others. Do not lock yourself away from the world out of fear of hurting others or potentially getting hurt yourself. Despite the pain, it is nothing compared to the hardship of isolation and lonliness. You must find something to fight for, and protect, whatever that may be. Although it is a heavy burden to bear, it is truely worth it in the end. I hope that one day you will grow up into a wonderful young man who is not afraid of getting hurt, even if that means protecting another person, or making them happy. Please, do not distance yourself from friends or even family, whoever that may come to be in your future. I know you'd never stay with an old man like me forever". 

Gintoki was speechless, bewildered by these words. Sensei had always encouraged him to make friends, but like this...An ominous feeling circled and twisted within the pit of Gintoki's stomach. He didn't understand why Shouyou-sensei was suddenly saying these words, but...It create an ill atmosphere surrounding Shouyou-sensei, like...liie he was... 

"Sensei...are you planning to go somewhere, away from us?" It was blunt, painful and suffocating. To ask such a question, Gintoki was afraid. He was afraid of what Shouyou-sensei would say. But Sensei just smiled, and tousled Gintoki's hair like always to reassure him. Although it wasn't as reassuring this time. 

"I would never leave my students. I expect all of you to leave someday, of your own accord in order to grow into working adults. That's why I am telling you this Gintoki. Parents and teachers alike experience having to say goodbye to their children at some point. Of course that day will break my heart, however I want you all to have good lives and be free from the shackles of the past. Don't be alone, don't hold grudges and find happiness, Gintoki. That is what I wish for all of you. Can you do that for me?"

"...Yes, Sensei. I'll try". 

"Do you promise?" 

"...Yeah, I promise". 

"...Pinky swear?" Shouyou-sensei held out his pinky finger, the action alone provoking Gintoki to roll his eyes. 

"Haa, yes, Sensei. Pinky swear...". Gintoki wrapped his pinky finger around Shouyou-sensei's, locking the promise. 

"Thank you...Now, why don't we continue to watch the scenery, hm? It's quite beautiful out here, something to take in while it's right in front of you". 

Gintoki stared down at his pinky finger. It was feverish, somehow. This lingering feeling of unease failed to subside. Gintoki felt insecure, worried, even afraid. These were feelings that, in the past, he had never held onto. But now they had surfaced from the deepest part of his unconscious. But for the sake of this promise, Gintoki tried not to worry so much. He tried--he did. That's all he could do. So, while it was right in front of him, he took a mental image of this scene and the people in front of him, never wanting to forget it. 

... 

During one afternoon: Gintoki, Katsura and Takasugi volunteered to buy groceries at the village stores. They made a list with a limited budget-perhaps the only limit Shouyou-sensei would allow in his teachings. The boys wandered around; Takasugi being in charge of the basket while Katsura was entrusted with carrying the list. Gintoki...Gintoki was in charge of putting heavy groceries into the basket. Nothing more. 

"Okay...Sensei asked us to pick up rice too. Geez, we go through that pretty quickly, huh?" Katsura too the lead, his eyes scouting around the market for rice. 

"Not as quickly as we go through Azuki beans. Seriously, Gintoki, what's your obsession with them?" 

"Shut it, Takasugi". Gintoki grumbled, picking his ear. "Azuki beans are delicious and go so well with rice". 

"Since when?! Are you an idiot?!" 

Gintoki didn't talk about the promise he made with Shouyou-sensei. Maybe if he mentioned anything about the conversation, it would only worry Katsura and Takasugi. It did sound like Shouyou-sensei was planning to go away somewhere, far away. He denied it, but for some reason...Gintoki couldn't believe it. He didn't want to believe it... 

The two boys up ahead suddenly stopped in the middle of the street, a quiet melody playing somewhere in the distance. Several people decided to crowd around it, peaking the curiosity of many. 

"I wonder what's going on". Katsura mumbled, curious himself. 

"Maybe we should go check it out?" Talasugi suggested this, walking on ahead. Katsura followed, joining the crowd. 

"Hey, you guys, come on. Let's just fet the stuff and leave". 

Gintoki was hesitant, peering over towards the growing crowd-although staying put-to see some sort of travelling salesman. It looked quite old-fashioned, something definitely out-dated from this century. Gimtoki rolled his eyes, leaving them to it as he stuffed his hands into his hoodie pockets. They could do what they want. It wasn't really his business. He wandered a short distance away, exploring the ins and outs of the market. Eventually the melody grew quiet as he walked through a small alleyway inbetween japanese-styled houses. Showed just how different this small village was to the city down below the mountains. He tried not to stray too far, thus found himself stopping suddenly when he soon realised he wasn't alone. He didn't expect anyone else to be away from the crowd, therefore Gintoki was still for a few moments as he encountered this...man. It was a man with a scary expression on his face, even though such an appearance didn't seem intentional. Dark circles under his eyes, light gray hair...Not suspicious or creepy at all. Gintoki decided to ignore him, backing away slowly to find Takasuhi and Katsura among the crowd so they could leave. But before he took two steps away, the man spoke. 

"I see another lamb has strayed far from the path". His tone was deep, calm, sending shudders across Gintoki's back. Shit..."Or are you perhaps a demon?" 

"...The hell are you talking about? I was taught never to talk to strangers, especially old men in alleyways. So I'm gonna-". 

"Yet you are a student to a stranger. I find that quite contradictory". 

"...Who the hell are you?" Did this guy...know about Shouyou-sensei? 

"I doubt we will be acquainted for long, however I see no harm in a name. You may refer to me as Oboro". 

"...Oboro...Well, fine. But I don't plan to stick around you, so I think I'm gonna go". 

"It's seems more than one of you chooses to defy the heavens. That boy, Shinsuke Takasugi, has seemingly strayed too far because of your "teacher". For a boy in his social position, that would create quite the scandal, don't you think? If he were to become a rebel, then the Takasugi family would crumble. Then again, they were always fools, easy to dispose of". 

Who was this guy. How did he know about Takasugi? Gintoki was grounded, unable to move from the same spot as the shock coursed through him. 

"Who...Who are you exactly? Tell me...Why do you know stuff like that?!" 

"I have my sources, but for the right purposes. Shouyou Yoshida is a danger to this government, as well as his students. If his teachings were to continue...". 

"What are you saying...? You...You say you have all that information, but really you don't know anything! Sensei hasn't done anything wrong!" 

"Is that so? I don't expect a child to understand the full extent of the law, but surely you understand that taking in children without lehal custody is considered child abduction?" 

"...!" 

"In addition, Shouyou Yoshida has been suspected of teaching propoganda to orphaned children. Seeing as Shinsuke Takasugi is a part of that...". 

"Are you an idiot?! Takasugi was thrown out by his parents! Where else could he go?! All you government-types do is sit on your asses! You do nothing to help kids like us! Nothing!" 

"I am not in charge of such matters. I simply bring justice to those who defy our government's laws". 

"Tch...!" Gintoki was outraged, reaching for the knife in his back pocket out of anger. He knew it was stupid, even at the time, but listening to this guy pissed him off. 

"Now, why don't you come along with us? If you cooperate, we'll see to it that no harm comes to you, the other students, or your teacher. I know it sounds reckless of us, but we cannot allow such activity to continue by any means necessary". 

"You...You can go to hell!" Gintoki lept towards Oboro, knife at the ready. But before he could strike, he was suddenly grabbed by two men. Gintoki struggled, trying to get away. 

"What a shame...". Oboro muttered, turning his back to Gintoki. "We could have handled this peacefully. But you and your teacher are such a nuisance to us. We can't risk any chances of a rebellion. If you truely care for your teacher, you'll go back and live on the streets where you came from. We'll make sure that message gets through to all of you". 

"No! You bastard! Stop! Stop it! You can't!" 

As Gintoki struggled, he quickly slashed his knife across one of the men's arms. They retracted their grip, giving Gintoki the chance to escape. However... 

"Ack! You little shit!" Out of anger, the man swung his fist towards Gintoki, striking him in a flash before went dark. 

After that, there was only darkness. Gintoki had lost consciousness, unable to resist anymore. He had to stop them...He had to stop them...He had to...He had to...protect everyone...His friends...Sensei...Everyone... 

... 

A groan escaped upon waking, the dull throbbing in Gintoki's head painful and persistent. He opened his eyes, on stained black and blue from being hit earlier. It was night, not a sound crept its way past Gintoki's ears aside from the clicking of crickets. Upon realising the situation, Gintoki hurridly sat up-wincing and groaning as the pain shot through his head like a bullet. He panted, looking around. No one...He was alone. 

"Oh shit...Ugh...S-Sensei...I have to...find Sensei...". 

Gintoki stood to his feet slowly, not waiting to run far away from the alleway. He dashed towards the school, praying silently that everyone was okay. The uneasiness returned, his head splitting from the headache and worry. Gintoki ran as fast as he could, blindly making his way down the path. He disregarded his loss of breath and the headache that plagued his skull. He had to hurry, otherwise...otherwise...! 

... 

Gintoki finally made it up the mountain, panting heavily, his legs weak from running so fiercely. He made it...but it was far too late. Looking ahead, a bright, crimson light covered Gintoki's vision. His heart sank, pounding against his chest painfully. His eyes widened, the words clawing up his throat as they failed to escape. Instead... 

"Ah...Ah...! Aaah! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!" Gintoki screamed, squeezing his eyes shut as he tried to deny this...To deny all of this! 

The school...Shouka Sonjuku, was painted in a deep red and yellow inferno. Flames filled the entire building, smoke rising from the ceiling. At that moment, Gintoki's gaze suddenly affixed to the flames, he felt broken. For the first time in his life, he felt torn apart and so broken. Disregarding his breathlessness, the shock took over and dragged him into a blind abyss as he called out. 

"Sensei! Sensei!! Where are you?! Sensei?! Everyone!! Anyone, please-...!" Gintoki froze right in front of the school, a clearing opening up at the front entrance. A group of men made their way out, including that evil bastard Oboro and...Shouyou-sensei. 

"S-Sensei! Sensei, thank god you're-...!" Gintoki was suddenly pulled back away from the door, restrained by another group of men. He stared blankly, shocked and frozen as the men dragged Shouyou-sensei out of the door. He appeared to have come quietly, his hands hancuffed behind his back. Gintoki shook his head, murmuring incoherently before making a failed attempt to reach out for his teacher. 

"Sen-...Sensei! Noo! You can't take him away! Senseiii!" 

"I told you, didn't I?" Oboro muttered, cold and stern as he stared blankly at Gintoki with eyes full on contempt. No mercy, no pity...Just emptiness. "This is justice. Shouyou Yoshida will be held in contempt of court for the abduction of several orphaned children without legal custody, suspicion of the teachings of propaganda, the condoning of violence and misconduct from children...May I go on?" 

Gintoki gritted his teeth, bowing his head in defeat. He hiccuped, holding back his tears. He clenched his fists, unable to fight back from these restraints. Still... 

"You...You call this justice?!" Gintoki cried out, his voice echoing in the open air. His heart was heavy, his eyes stinging..."We had nothing! We had nothing because people like you do nothing to help! Sensei...Sensei was kind! He held out his hand to us, gave us hope and a home! We didn't have much...but that didn't matter! He gave us a chance and you took that away you bastards! You took it all from us--and for what?! Just to protect your precious government?! You'll pay....You'll pay for this! And just so you know...Shouyou-sensei has nothing to do with these feelings...It's because...because-...!" 

"Gintoki...". Through the anger and heartbreak, Gintoki raised his head to the calm sound of Shouyou-sensei's voice. He was looking over his shoulder, looking directly at Gintoki with a smile, but his eyes were sorrowful. He couldn't stand to see Gintoki like this, to see him so lost. "Remember the promise we made...Don't hold a grudge, don't be alone...and find happiness. I need you to keep that promise now, Gintoki. Please...". 

Through the darkness, Gintoki could see Shouyou-sensei's pinky finger reach out to him, his hand trembling. Gintoki's lip quivered, the tears finally releasing themselves. He hiccuped, his whole body shivering. 

"I...I promise, Sensei...I promise...". 

"...Thank you. As long as my students are safe, that is all I care about. I don't want to leave you all alone, but I must bear with the pain as long as it keeps you alive. I'm sorry, Gintoki...I wish...I wish I could have spent more time with my wonderful students...". 

"...Me too...Me too, Sensei...Sensei...". 

"...Take him away". Oboro gave the order, emotionless, walking off with the rest following. 

Gintoki was left on the ground, the burnt ashes of Shouka Sonjuku drifting around him in the wind. He felt defeated. The stench of smoke was suffocating, but the heavy burden on his heart made him almost breathless. Gintoki wanted this to be a nightmare...He wanted to wake up... 

Behind him, coming up from the stone steps, was Takasugi and Katsura. They, too, stared at the inferno with shock coursing through them. They were in disbelief, afraid. 

"No...". Talasugi muttered. "This...This can't be-...No! This isn't happening! This can't be happening! Sensei! Senseiii!" 

"Takasugi...!" Katsura ran after Takasugi as he dashed for the front entrance. 

They both turned the corner sharply, freezing in place when their gazes caught a glimpse of Gintoki. He was kneeled on the ground, thoroughly defeated and sorrowful. Takasugi rushed towards him, calling his name. But Gintoki did not look up. He did not move an inch. 

"Gintoki! Where's Sensei?! Where's everyone else?! Just...What the hell happened here?!" Takasugi's voice was breaking, tears welling up in hs eyes as he feared the worst. Kneeled down beside Gintoki, he tried to read his expression...and only saw defeat and sorrow. Gintoki was quiet for a moment...clenching his tiny fists in his lap. 

"Sensei...Sensei was...t-taken away". 

"What...?!" 

"They took him away...I think he let everyone escape, except himself. I think...I think he was trying to save us...". 

"Sensei's...gone? N-no...No way...You can't...Kh! Haah...Sen-...sei...No...No, no, no! Why?! Why him?! Why did they-....Why...". 

Takasugi's lips trembled, and he couldn't hold back the tears much longer. He burst out crying, shaking and covering his eyes as the tears poured out. Katsura approuched them, holding back tears himself. He bit his bottom lip, covering his mouth as he sniffled. 

"No...No, godammit! They can't...do this...Sen-...Sensei!!...SENNNSEEEEIIIII!" Takasugi sobbed, outraged but helpless. 

They were all truely alone now, lost with no place to turn to. All of them, three young boys without guidance or a place to call home anymore. As the flames flickered, the smoke infesting their lungs from such a short distance, the boys fell apart in their sorrow. Their voices echoed, unheard, receiving no reply. They had no idea where to go from here, what path lay beyond this. What more was there? As well as the school, the Takasugi family manor and the Katsura family home was also burned down to the ground on the same night. The children could only wander, trying to find the next step. But right now, there was nothing. The path lay blank before them, surrounded by flames. There was no clear destination anymore. But even so, even after all of this...Gintoki wished to hold onto his promise, hold onto the lessons he learned from Shouyou-sensei. They had nothing but the clothes on their backs, and their notebooks provided from their beloved teacher. From there, it appeared that a split had formed in the boy's paths. Although it was small and insignificant now, even though they were still together at this moment, there was no telling when that path would split completely, spearating their goals and ideals. This, unfortunately, was only the beginning...


	20. The Childhood is When Someone Should Have the Most Fun, But Can Easily Be Forgotten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, I know the last chapter was quite long and, well, it hurt a little bit to write it-but I got through it. This chapter won't be as long, I don't think. So let's just sit back, and I hope you enjoy.

The memories seemed to play back in a haze-Gintoki's haze-at the most unusual times of the day. The other night, he had reoccuring dreams of the same person, their words and that smile. It had been months since he had dreamed of that person. Some of Gintoki's happiest and most depressing memories resurfaced in a night, only for him to wake up in a restless state. He woke up, bedsheets draped over his body, and found himself in Hijikata's arms. As if to be protective of him, protecting him from any more nightmares, Hijikata coddled Gintoki, tried to make him feel better without knowing what was wrong. But they never discussed it that morning. Hijikata didn't bring anything up and simply treated his affectionate behaviour as if it was a normal thing; you know, to cuddle up during the night in a protective fashion. It was weird for Gintoki to hear, therefore he came to the conclusion that Hijikata didn't just cuddle him for nothing. He didn't just subconsciously roll over onto Gintoki's side of the bed to casually embrace him. That didn't make much sense. However, the day went on as it normally did. That being said, Gintoki acted as he usually did...or at least tried too...

... 

Kagura wandered around the clothes store with bright, sparkling eyes as she looked over the different designs and patterns on each, individual yukata being displayed. Hijikata's ony job was to keep an eye on her, make sure she didn't wander off too far. It was that time when the summer festival was being set up for this time of year, acting as a mark for the end of summer. Autumn wasn't too far away. 

"Hey, Mayora". Kagura tugged on Hijikata's short sleeve. She had noticed he was glancing over to Gintoki with a weird, worried expression across his face. 

"What is it, China Girl?" 

"Do you think this yukata would look pretty on me?" Kagura held up a yukata that was around her size; pink with a red flower pattern. 

"I wouldn't say that. Besides, I'm not an expert on women's clothing or what suits them". Kagura inflated her cheeks at that. 

"Men are so stupid...You could at least lie, you jerk". 

"How the hell is that any better?" 

"Haa...I'm gonna go ask Boss Lady. She's just over there with Kyuu-chan and Shinpachi. While I do that, stop staring at Gin-chan and just go ask him what's wrong". 

"Wha-...?! How did you-...?!" 

"Because I'm not a dumbass like you, stupid Mayora. Now...". Using all of her force and strength, Kagura started shoving Hijikata towards Gintoki. "Go...Talk to...him. Uah!" 

Kagura grunted and struggled, using all of her force before she gave Hijikata a big shove, nearly pushing him to the floor to fall flat on his face. He balanced himself, rolling his eyes once he "decided" to go ask Gintoki if he was alright. It was weird to ask him such a question, considering his usual calm and careless personality. Gintoki had been quiet since that morning, barely uttering a single word as he stared off into space. It was only natural for Hijikata to be a little curious. "What the hell is he thinking about?" He was ask himself, approuching Gintoki carefully. At the corner of his eye, Gintoki looked away from the display of yukatas to find Hijikata walking his way, bearing the same concerned and puzzled expression from this morning. Gintoki wore a faint smile upon greeting Hijikata. 

"Hey, what's with that face?" Gintoki asked, seemingly putting on a front to ease Hijikata's "worries", if that was the case. 

"It's nothin'. You've been quiet all morning and it's-ahem-you're making the China Girl worry a bit". 

"Kagura? Riiiight. Well, you can tell her that I'm fine and that she worries way to much. Like, waaay too much, it's almost suffocating me". 

Hijikata cleary didn't appreciate Gintoki's sarcasm, who knew perfectly well that Hijikata was the one worrying. Anyone could see that from a mile away. 

"Hijikata, I'm alright. Kinda tired, but I'm okay. Now get back to finding your yukata. I'm kinda lookin' forward to seeing you all dressed up, ya know". 

"Haah, Gintoki, not in public". 

"What? You embarrassed? I bet wearing something like a yukata will really bring out your figure...". Gintoki's perverse gaze wandered up and down Hijikata's body, his eyebrows wriggling in a joking way. 

"Will you cut it out, damn pervert...Anyway, have you found anything yet?" 

"I think so. I'm not really good at clothes shopping, though. Too much of a pain in the ass". 

"Tell me about it...Have you picked one out, or...?" 

Gintoki brought out one of the yukata's displayed on the shelves. It was unfolded, and Gintoki held it up to show Hijikata. It was a white yukata with a light, blue pattern of swirls around the hem and the sleeves. Considering the colours of the yukata, it would probably bring out Gintoki natural permed, silver hair more. Aside from that, it would probably suit him. Hijikata gave a nod, refraining from explaining how the yukata would probably suit him. He was quite sheepish about it... 

"That it? Not very good with compliments, are ya?" 

"W-well, what am I supposed to say. I'm not used to this sorta thing". 

"Awh, I'm hurt~. You don't wanna admit to you're perverted little fantasies of me wearing a thin-layered, clear white yukata?" 

"You're the one with perverted fantasies! Don't mistake my ordinary thoughts for your perverse ones! Anyway, saying something like that makes you the most perverse! Don't say shit like that as if you're gonna spread your legs!" 

"Hahh?! Are you comparing me to a whore?! And what about your thought process is normal?! You're brain's made of mayo, bastard! Mayo, mayo, mayo! I bet you fantasise about eating mayo during sex!" 

"...". 

"Don't even think about it! Are you a moron?!" 

"Y-you're the moron! As if I'd ever think about shit like that! You're sick!" 

"Oh, no, I saw that look in your eyes! For a moment, you actually thought it was a good idea, didn't you!" 

"No, I didn't! Don't accuse me of such things! And don't twist the topic as you see fit!" 

While those two idiots created a ruckus, Shinpachi and Kagura stood by at a safe distance and watched with disappointed expressions. 

"Kagura-chan, please grow up into a pure adult. Don't end up like those two". 

"Don't worry, Shinpachi. But I think it's too late for you, bein' an otaku and all". 

"I was trying to be nice! What makes you think my hobbies are gonna effect my adulthood?!" 

"Cause you're obsessed, it's not a hobby. Idiot...". 

"What would you know?! And I am not obsessed with Otsu-chan! I just respect her and love her music!" 

"And you've convinced yourself that she doesn't poop or fart, like a normal person". 

"She doesn't!" 

... 

Kagura was first to enter the apartment, rushing in with her shopping bags in hand. Like a child on Christmas day, she ran ahead to open up her shopping bag and take a look at her new stuff; yukata, hair accessory, small handbag and sandals. 

"Gin-chan, Gin-chan! I'm gonna go try on my yukata, okay?" 

"You already did that at the store, and the festival isn't until tonight. Can't you wait?" 

"Nuh-uh. The other girls are gonna be so~ jealous 'cause I have a guardian who can buy me nice yukatas and a nice hair accessory to go with it". 

"I'm not made of money, y'know. And your old man wouldn't want me spoiling you, got that?" 

"Pssh, okay, fine...". Kagura entered her room glumy, provoking Gintoki to roll his eyes. 

"Geez, what a brat...". Beside him, Hijikata started snickering behind his hand. "Oi, what's so funny?" 

"Haa, nothing, nothing. I was-ahem...Ah, you...The way you handle the China Girl sometimes, it's like-". 

"Don't say it. Don't even think about it. Now I'm gonna go put this yukata away until the festival. Man, we've still got hours to wait...". 

"Then do you wanna go out for a while? Maybe get some early drinks before it starts". 

"Nah, nah...We could just hang out here. I don't wanna drink anything heavy, otherwise I'd ruin it for the kids. They'd kick my ass if I turned up drunk...We could have a few beers, though". 

"Fine by me". 

"Oh, and, er...". Gintoki, as he headed towards the fridge for those beers, he turned back to Hijikata. He gingerly spoke, trying to convey something in an almost withdrawn and insecure manner. That was...new. "There's something I kinda wanna show you". 

"Erm, okay?" 

"Oi, don't look so scared. It's nothing weird". 

"I dunno, the last time you said that...". 

"Hey, hey, hey. It's really not like that. And I really thought that cop outfit would suit you last time, and you had to tear it up". 

"Yes, I did". 

Gintoki rolled his eyes, reaching into the fridge for two bottles of beer. Hi legs swerved gently, closing the fridge door. 

"O-kay, follow me". 

Gintoki passed over one of the bottles to Hijikata, making his way across te apartment to one of the doors. It was a door Hijikata had never been in-much less peek inside. It had always been locked up for some reason, but Hijikata never asked about it. Taking out a set of keys from his back pocket, Gintoki unlocked the door with some effort-seeing as the lock might have stuck. 

"I had this lock installed a few months after I bought the place. I needed some storahe room, but didn't wanna let Kagura or anyone else see. It's, uh, a little embarrassing at my age. J-just bear with me". 

Hijikata silently agreed to this, peering over Gintoki's shoulder as a way of seeing through the crack in the door, as a way to prepare himself for whatever he was about to see. From a quick glance, Hijikata's eyes became wide and he was speechless, to say the least. Gintoki opened the door up slowly, revealing the contents of this secret room. The stench of dust drifted from the room at first, the source revealed almost immediatly as Hijikata tried to process what he was seeing. Bookshelves; lots of them, lined up across the walls that reached the ceiling. Every bookshelf was stacked with novels and many volums of Shonen Jump magazine. It took a moment for Hijikata to study every nook and cranny with his eyes, processing this scene with his mind. Gintoki stepped in, walking to the far end of the room where a single window lay closed. Gintoki opened it up. However, just like the lock on the door, it took a struggle and a little bit of effort to unstick the pane from its ledge. A draft blew in for a moment, impacting through Gintoki's hair and shirt. He backed away, cradiling himself with a shudder before stamding in the center of this seemingly ancient room, gaze averted. 

"Well, welcome to my book mueseum". Hijikata was still thoroughly puzzled by this, stepping into the room himself for a closer inspection. "What do you think?" 

"Gintoki...". Hijikata looked over some of the novels on display; many of them were classics aimed for children and adults alike. A few novels had english titles while the vast majority were from Japan. But why..."Gintoki...". Hijikata repeated, quietly. "Why are you showing me this? Is this really such a big secret?" 

"Yeah, for me. I'm, honestly, a little embarrassed about this. See...Wh-why don't we sit down. There's only one beanbag chair, though". 

"I don't mind sitting on the floor, just...elaborate, if you don't mind. I'm a little taken aback by all this". 

Making his way further inside, shutting the door behind them, Hijikata sat himself on the floor while Gintoki got comfortable on the beanbag chair. An almost transparent cloud of dust floated into the air before evaborating into the sun's light. For a quiet moment, Gintoki opened up his bottle with the bottle cap opener before passing it to Hijikata. Although tense, Gintoki looked over the different books he had collected and "elaborated". 

"See, Hijikata, when I was a kid I wasn't the brightest". 

"Figures...". 

"Oi, I'm trying to open up here, so can you shut up?" 

Hijikata shrugged, taking a sip of his drink. "...Haa, go ahead". 

"Thanks...Anyway, haah...I...For the longest time, I didn't know how to read or write. I was in an environment where I couldn't learn those things for years. Then, one day...Let's just say an opportunity opened up for me and I gradually began to learn these things. Of course the lessons weren't fun but I saw a lot of other kids my age read a lot of books. They were just learning to read as well, and they helped eachother out a lot. Me, I didn't really read fictional books. I had only made up my own stories in my head and eventually started writing them down on paper. The first time I ever read a Jump comic, I was totally lost 'cause it was already in the middle of a story but, for some reason, I couldn't stop reading". 

"...And? What's all this for?" 

"...I never read much Jump when I was a kid 'cause I couldn't afford it. Hell, even as an adult I couldn't afford it. I didn't read all of those children's books that brought smiles to those kids. So, I started reading them as an adult to see what all the fuss was about. Before I knew it, I had started collecting them, I had fun reading them, and it showed just...how much I missed out as a kid. I didn't even go to my first summer festival until I was in middle school. I never learned to ride a bike-just a scooter after getting my license-I never learned how to swim, had never visited the dentist until high school, acting like a kid 'cause I hated the dentist. I never really knew what fun was until I was taken out of that environment and brought into a better one". 

"...Gintoki...". 

Gintoki's expression was sullen, but accepting of his past and how things were now. He simply wished to open up about it. Gintoki took a long sip of his drink, sighing contently as though he let off a lot of steam from talking. 

"This is pretty much it; the start of my childhood, in my adulthood. Feels weird coming back in here. I'm too lazy to clear all the dust or get rid of all the Jump in here. A pain. In. The. Ass". Gintoki moved his arm behind his head, closing his eyes, raring to fall asleep in such a comfty chair. Hijikata tapped his finger against the glass bottle, taking a deep breath-trying to avoid the smell of dust and the old pages of old books. 

"...You know, I didn't have a fun childhood either". 

"Hm...?" Gintoki opened one of his eyes, curious. 

"When I was a kid, I mostly did chores or worked or looked after my Mom when she was sick. It wasn't much different when I moved in with my Father and all my half-siblings and relatives. I worked, I did chores and I never got to play outside because work took up time. My half-brother let me borrow books to read and I grew attatched. I still read as much as I can today, especially the kind of novels you write". Gintoki arched his eyebrow, intrigued. 

"You mean fantasy novels?" 

"Uh! Y-yeah, so what? Shut up, it's not that big of a deal". 

"You like emotional stories?" Gintoki leaned in, wanting so desparately to tease Hijikata about this topic. 

"Yeah, so? They're emotional, but it's not like I get upset over fiction-I mean, come on...". 

"Daaw, isn't that sweet~. Hijikata-kun wuuvs my stories sooo much that he cwies~". Gintoki spoke mockingly, pinching Hijikata cheek, which was stained crimson red at this point. 

"Shut up! I don't cry!" Hijikata swatted Gintoki's hand away. 

"Awh, it's okay. I know you're crying inside". 

"Haa, how far are you planning to go to piss me off?" 

"Okay, okay, I'll stop. I think it's kinda sweet, though. Knowing how you enjoy my stories the most". 

"Yet, honestly, I have no idea why". 

"Still?! Man, it's been months since I asked you that question and you still don't know why you keep coming back to my novels, even when knowing that I wrote them. Doesn't that piss you off?" 

"Not as much as it used to". 

"Oh, why's that?" Gintoki leaned in, waiting for an answer that could potentially embarrass Hijikata. But, this time, he didn't falter and just pushed Gintoki's face away with force. 

"Because we're going out, idiot. Why else?"

"Mm...Oh, I see. Since we're a lot more intimate, you're a lot less frustrated knowing that I write your favourite books, is that it?" 

"I thought that was obvious". Hijikata sipped his drink, keeping his focus on the books, and the room in general, instead of a smug Gintoki. That Gintoki was the worst. 

"Mm, yeah, kinda. You're usually frustrated with me, so I can't really tell anymore". 

"Speak for yourself. You get angry at me for nearly no reason. Just seeing my face used to piss you off". 

"Yeah, "used" to. Now I know you have a pretty face that pisses me off". 

"...Right back at you, fish eyes". 

The draft was mellow, relaxing, eradocating the dust that lingered in the room through fresh air. To talk in this space, despite the smell of dust and worn paper, was what left a pleasant atmosphere. Whatever insults that passed by them drifted along with the summer breeze; disregarded as each insult failed to pierce their thick skin. Not that they were intended to start a ruckus over it, like they did in the store but that was an entirely different matter. Totally different. Another nice atmosphere, two beers in hand as they spoke normally-like anyone would-but with less aggressive banter. Gintoki slid down to the floor, right next to Hijikata as though he found it to be more comfortable, or because it presented some equality between the two rivals. Rivals, huh...That was a label they hadn't even thought of in months. Too much intimacy getting in the way of that. 

Despite missing a big chunk of what is considered to be a "childhood", Gintoki didn't feel that he was missing out anything while he was still in his lwte twenties. He had drank alcohol a number of times, experienced having a cigarette between his lips, made a career for himself, slept with quite a few people, made some interesting friends and acquaintances along the way and was now in an intimate relationship. It all sounded so mature and adult, but despite that Gintoki held at the back of his mind the vague memories of buying Jump on Saturdays, eating coluourful, sugary parfaits, making forts with Kagura during the rain season and the fact that he was still deathly afriad of the supernatural. He was taught to be always be a kid at heart, when he was still a kid. But the usually fin, happy memories of childhood were stripped from Gintoki in a matter of ours, dragging out for years until he was no longer a child. Pondering about it now, Gintoki wondered if those events had brought on this "child at heart" thing into his adulthood when the main focus for ordinary people is work, pleasures such as alcohol and sex, relationships and so on. There was that in Gintoki's life, contrasted by his childish nature. Thinking about it for too long, Gintoki felt a headache coming on. His hobbies and lifestyle were too far apart, yet clashed together during this age-Gintoki's age. And here comes the headache...and the embarrassment, knowing he would never give up being a child at heart, or a pervert between his legs. Fuck... 

... 

The sun had began to drift into the distance, disappearing as the hours ticked on. Gintoki undressed within the safety of his bedroom, yukata layed out on the bed. The way they organised it, Hijikata said he was going to meet them at the festival entrance. That was fine. No worries. He had to leave to pick up some work beforw returning to his apartment to change. Gintoki didn't even see what Hijikata would be wearing-what kind of yukata he picked out. Not that he would have cared if they weren't dating, but now he was curious. Would it bring out Hijikata's figure; the one Gintoki was attracted to through months of intamacy? Yeah, he...He was pretty curious. Gintoki slipped on the yukata, finding the material to be extermely soft and welcoming. He tied up the sash, turning to the standing mirror built into the wardrobe. 

The sleeves were long, covering his arms all the way down to his wrists. The whole yukata cut down to his ankles. He had to admit that the design did bring out the colour of his obnoxiously silver hair a bit, but that didn't have to a bad thing, right? No, scratch that. In Gintoki's eyes, his natural silver perm was a genetic curse. He sighed, adjusting the clothing at the shoulders while allowing some exposure around the chest area-although not too much. He had not worn a yukata since he was a teenager-during the summer festivals in his adulthood Gintoki thought that a shirt and pair of pants would be fine-so he felt a little out of place in those clothes. He couldn't really do anything now, aside from change, but wearing the yukata would prevent him from being the elephant in the room since everyone else was going to wear their yukatas. Before he could change his mind, Gintoki hurried out of his bedroom, leaving it in darkness once the door was shut behind him. 

It didn't take two seconds for Gintoki to notice Kagura in some sort of blissful mood as she twirled and spun around in her new yukata. It turned out Kagura had picked out a red yukata with a pink flower pattern instead, her hair accessory was a decorative flower-a lily. Nothing too flashy, of course. 

"Oi, Kagura, be careful. Don't go around spinning like that, or you'll trip over your yukata". 

"Gin-chan, look! Does it suit me? Do I look pretty?" 

"Yeah, yeah, if you say so. Just stop spinning around in those clothes, or you really will fall flat on your face". 

Kagura stopped spinning, wobbling a little bit from going overboard in her blissful moment of "I'm so pretty" and "the other girls are gonna be jealous of me". It was exactly like that. No doubt about it. 

"Are we gonna go meet the Mayora now?" 

"If you're ready, we can go. It is still a little early, but an uncrowded festival wouldn't be too bad". 

"Yaay! I'm gonna play every single game this year, visit the haunted shrine, eat messy noodles, frosted bananas, ice cream, cotton candy, candy apples-". 

"That's way too much food! But, fine, if you puke, don't come cryin' to me". 

"I'm not gonna puke. Last time I didn't eat one of everything and ate two of everything-that was the problem". 

"I see two problems with this! How can a girl so small eat that much?" 

"Oi, shut it. I'm not small". 

Kagura wasn't that small for a girl her age, but her eating habits exceeded her small frame either way. Right now, only Gintoki and Kagura headed for festival grounds and would soon be joined by Shinpachi, Otae and Kyuubei. Hijikata would be there, waiting at the entrance. If everyone split up from there, that would leave Hijikata and Gintoki alone. Kids like Kagura prefered to wander off and do her own thing a rather than stick closely with the group. Not that she was in a lot of danger, as long as she was in sight. 

... 

The bright lights lined up the festival stalls and entrance. Such a scene could be spotted from several miles away, attracting varies people and welcoming them into the festivities. Gintoki walked a little behind when Kagura ran on ahead to greet Otae and Kyuubei enthusiastically. But keeping his distance meant that he could swerve past them and meet up with Hijikata. And, just like they organised, he was right there at the entrance. Standing awkwardly, a cigarette between his lips, Hijikata waited for Gintoki specifically. Approuching Hijikata, Gintoki took a moment to study Hijikata's appearance to ease his earlier curiosity. He was surprised to see just how Hijikata's yukata suit him; a navy blue colour with no specific pattern, but was presented as a nice fit for a guy with his figure. Gintoki was even amazed by how good he looked. At the corner of his eye, Hijikara registered Gintoki's presence with one quick glance. He, too, looked over Gintoki's yukata with a quiet amazement only to clear his throat in embarrassment. 

"Ahem...uh, h-hey, you're here...". He greeted awkwardly, his gaze shifting from the ground, to Gintoki, and right back down to the ground. 

"Y-yeah...Did, er...Did ya wait long?" Gintoki asked, rubbing the back of his neck. 

"No, maybe about ten minutes". 

"Oh, great. Um...You look...". Someone had to say it, right? "Hah, I gotta say that yukata suits you. It, It's nice...". 

"It's...nice...Yeah, your yukata looks...nice, too. Really, um...ehem...A-anyway, we should...head inside". 

"Yeah, we should...Um, you firs-ack!" Out of nowhere, Gintoki was shoved forward towards Hijikata. 

"Will you two stop being so awkward? It's disturbing-and there are kids here, ya know". 

Gintoki grumbled, turning around to Kagura as she pouted. They were being rather awkward, but did they need a kid to tell them that? 

"My, my, so this is Hijikata-san". Otae then approuched, her smile unreadable. Was she happy or pissed off. Who could tell with her? "When Shin-chan told me Gin-san was in a relationship, I had my doubts, especially when I was told it was a man, but...". 

Gintoki sighed deeply. "Yeah, yeah, Gin-san's going out with a man. Do you wanna hurry up and get it out of your system already so we can move on?" 

"Oh, but I have questions. This is an opportunity I can't miss out on". It was demonic. Her smile was definitely that of a demon. "Say, Hijikata-san, I have to ask...does Gin-san treat you right, or is he a lazy lover, like you would expect?" 

"Th-that isn't really anyone's business! Gintoki, what's up with this woman? She's enjoying this way too much...". 

"Don't pay her any mind. Let's just enjoy the festival. Kagura, you can go on ahead with these guys if you want. Hijikata and I are gonna hang back and we'll meet you guys at the entrance". 

"O-kay~. Wait, Gin-chan, can I have some money?" 

"No, now scram. You've got a purse for a reason, to hold your allowance. Now scoot". 

"Please, Gin-chan~. Just a little more". 

"Nope, now off you go". 

"Danna, you shouldn't be so cruel to the spoiled brat. Might as well give the baby her bottle otherwise she won't shut up". Gintoki, Hijikata and Kagura turned towards the sound of that voice, treating everyone as inferior as insects. Well, except for Gintoki who was considered an "equal" when it came to sadism. 

"Sougo, there you are". Hijikata greeted Okita, although he wasn't exactly happy to see him. A little less so than usual. 

"Here I am, and there you are Hijikata-san~ with Danna~". Okita was smug, harbouring sadistic intent towards Hijikata. "Y'know, I did think you had been acting strangely for a while, but for you to be going out with Danna...Amazing". 

"Are you done?" Hijikata was livid, but tried to keep his composure. 

"Oi, oi, you told Okita-kun about us?" Gintoki as confused as to how this came to be. A sigh was provoked from Hijikata, unwilling to explain the circumstances-but he didn't have much of a choice. 

"Kondo-san talked me into it, said that it would be harmless. Sometimes I think he's blind to this kid's hatred towards me". 

"Hate is such a strong word, Hijikata-san. I don't give a damn about two guys goin' out, anyway. You two can play in and out as much as you want, as long as it's in a safe environment, away from innocent eyes". 

"Oii! Don't look down on us like we're perverts or something!" 

"I didn't say that. I just think it's disgustingly sweet of you to feel such affection for Danna, Hijikata-san. Tell me, is it love?" 

"Will you shut up?! And wipe that smug look off your face! It pisses me off! You're pissing me off, Sougo!" 

"Any-way~...". Okita stretched up, relaxing with a huge sigh. His smug expression was gone, but no ease came to Hijikata'w mind. Okita would tease him for this for a long time...No doubt about it. "I would love to stay and chat, but I've got a date waiting for me". 

"...?" Kagura was instantly hooked on that statement, narrowing her eyes at Okita despite his failure to notice her piercing glare. 

"Well, see ya, Danna. Die, Hijikata-san~". 

"Hey, wait a minute!" Kagura grabbed Okita's wrist, a suspicious look on her face, directed at Okita. "What do you mean a date? What kinda girl would date you?" 

"Awh, you jealous China Girl? Sorry, but I'm not interested in minors". 

"Who the hell said I wanted to dare you?! Bleck!" 

"And I'm not dating her. She's just my date for the festival, and I've kept her waiting long enough. See ya". 

Okita swerved his wrist out of Kagura's grasp, continuing to walk inbetween the crowd towards this "date" of his. It was unusual since Okita made no indication that he was interested in dating anyone since his goal was to get through college and earn a stable position within the police force. For him to invite a girl here, she must have been special. Or perhaps she was one of the few girls who didn't see any charm in Okita's persnality and was humouring him when she was invited. But the question was: who would that be exactly? 

... 

Sitting quietly, in the corner, at one of the picnic tables beside a set of vending machines was Nobume. With a phone in hand, she scrolled over a series of unread texts from Isaburo. A sigh escaped her. With one click of a button, the message disappeared behind a dark screen-read, but unanswered once again-and the cellphone was tucked away into her purse. She felt uncomfortable in these clothes; this yukata and hair accessory. Although it was a befitting colour and design, Nobume felt out of place and even silly for wearing to an event instead of attending work. Even at her age, work was the only thing on her mind. 

"You look bored. Good thing I came back when I did, or you might have ditched me". 

Nobume looked up, furrowing her brow as her "date", as he called it, arrived with two cans of soda in hand. He passed one to Nobume, sitting down one the opposite end of the picnic bench with the same smug look that would irritate anyone. 

"I was thinking about it". Dismissing her irritation, Nobume kept a straight face, straight composure and a straight posture when talking to Okita. Keeping her guard uo was a must around this man. 

"Come on, lighten' up. I bought you a soda, didn't I?" 

"Aren't you a gentleman...". With those sarcastic words to float past Okita, Nobume sipped her drink. She placed the can down, collecting her hands in her lap while keeping eye contact with Okita. "Why did you invite me? I don't want you to get the wrong idea about me". 

"Pssh, of course not. This is platonic. Totally platonic. If I wanted to date you, I would have asked". 

"No you wouldn't. You have no interest in dating anyone". 

"How do you know that?" 

"Hmm...I hate to say it, but we are simliar in that aspect. Our job is far more important than something as petty as intimacy". 

"Hmph, couldn't have put it better myself-...!". Okita could sense the irritated little presence behind him. He imagined puffed out cheeks and endless pouting. At the image itself, he scoffed. "Hah...What do you want, China Girl?" 

"A challenge, you bastard. Last time at the festival, you cheated at the shooting range. I want a re-match". 

Okita spun around, eyebrow arched. Sadly, there was no pouting or puffed out cheeks; just an irritated little China Girl who looked too serious for god-knows-what. 

"I would, but I have company". 

Kagura's eyes wandered towards the second presence, her eyes widening in surprise. Her demeanor eased into something calmer, more relaxed than before. 

"Ah, Nobume-san!" 

"You're...Kagura, aren't you?" Kagura smiled. Whatever she was so pent-up about disappeared, as well as her serious expression. Such a change in attitude when spotting Nobume sparked curiosity within Okita's sadistic mind. 

"Why don't you come along? I bet I could beat you both at the shooting range". Kagura flexed her delicate arm proudly. "Two sadists against yours truely". 

"Oh, you think you can beat me this time, China Girl?" Okita, being himself, took up the challenge presented by his, let's say his, rival. Not the first time he did that..."Bring it. Nobume-san and I would kick your scrawny ass into next summer". 

"I appreaciate the invite, but I see no reason to get involved with child's play". 

"Come on~, Nobume-san~". Kagura protested, grabbing Nobume by the arm to drag her out of her seat. Nobume didn't give much resistance, following Kagura without a word. Okita followed the two girls, curious. Very curious... 

... 

The lights about, connected to each stall and stand, led the way throughout the festival. While the group split up to do their own thing, as they did every year, Gintoki wandered with Hijikata at a fair pace. At their age, they weren't as enthusiastic about the fun and games. Still, it was nice to see the kids so full of energy. 

"So...". Hijikata began to break this awkward silence, lighting up another cigarette. "Is there...anything you would like to do while we're here?" 

"There's plenty to do, Hijikata". 

"You know what I mean. At our age, festival games aren't as enjoyable as they are when you're a kid. You just sit back and watch over the kids as they have their fun". 

"Mm, yeah...They do look like they're having a blast". 

Gintoki looked over in the distanct to see Kagura, Okita and that Nobume girl try their hand at the shooting range. Of course, Kagura was picking a fight with Okita, Nobume was acing most of the targets, and Okita simply brushed off Kagura's arguments. Just kids being kids, probably. 

"So, do you wanna buy something to eat already? I'm starving". 

"Sure. Let's get some noodles and...Hmm, I kinda want a frosted banana later, and dango...". 

"We can do that, but let's focus on getting something savoury first". 

"Hah, are you really saying that? You put mayonnaise on everything-so everything is savoury to you". 

"Anything wrong with that?" 

"About a million things, but whatever. I'm not gonna argue anymore". 

Sitting down at one of the stands to purchase a bowl of yakisoba, Gintoki took another glance at Kagura to keep an eye on her. She wasn't in any danger, even if she was stuck between two sadists. There were a few people at this stand, eating yakisoba. They were mostly adults, with only a few children. Most of the kids were catching goldfish or cutting out candy shapes. It made Gintoki feel like an old man for heading straight to a food stall-and not for sweets. When their bowls were served, Hijikata immediatly brought out a full bottle of mayonnaise, squeezing every last drop onto his food in a spiral until it didn't even look like food anymore. It never did look like real food. Gintoki kept his dish as it was, separating his chopsticks before picking up a few strands of noodles. 

"...Haah...Hey, Gintoki...". 

"Hmn...?" Gintoki hummed in question, a mouthful of yakisoba preventing him from speaking coherently. 

"Are you sure you don't want to...try out some of the other stalls while we're here? We're going to be here for a few hours until the fireworks, might as well". 

Gintoki gulped down his food, smirking. "Oh? Sounds to me like Hijikata-kun wants to feel like a kid again". 

"Don't take it the wrong way. You said before you didn't really have much of a childhood, so...Ack, nevermind. I'm saying stupid shit". 

"No, it's not stupid. I think it's kinda cute, seeing you get all concerned for me. Alright, we can play a few games while we're here. Who knows, it could be a lot of fun if I'm with you". 

"...". Hijiakta averted his eyes, continuing with his meal quietly. Gintoki's smirk grew a little wider, shaking his head before going right back to his meal, too. 

... 

The first game they even approuched was some sort of balloon darts game. It was fairly new, but perhaps the director of the festival tried to make something a little more western. Every balloon had a whole number on it, ranging from fifty, to one-hundred, two-hundred, all the way to one thousand. They were mixed up, each balloon either quite small or big. For five-hundred yen, they got three shots. Whoever had the highest score won. In order to count points and determine the winner, the darts were coloured and the numbers on the balloons were apparently printed on the wall behind them. Hijikata was given red darts, and Gintoki was given blue. Now, anyone who knew either of these men were perfectly aware of how much they hated to lose. When in the same contest, their personalities would clash and result in a huge argument, whether they were dating or not. This was fact. Not a judgement. 

"When you're both ready, start throwing your darts". The polite young man behind the stall stepped out of the way, keeping a close eye on the board. 

"Okay, Hijikata-kun~, get ready to get whipped". Gintoki, right off the bat, sounded very confident and mocking as he stretched his right arm and rolled his shoulders to loosen up all the tension in his muscles; a way to ensure that his arms wouldn't cramp up or that he would at least have a strong throw, even if they were just darts. 

"You wish. I don't intend to lose a child's game to you, of all people". 

"Uwah, scary~. Save the firm attitude for the bedroom". 

"Don't say something so brazen now, you idiot-...!" 

Gintoki threw his first dart, immediatly popping his first balloon, marked with a clear, medium-sized three-hundred points. 

"Ooh, not bad for my first try. You're turn, Hijikata. Don't lose focus now". 

Hijikata clicked his tongue, annoyed. Hijikata hadn't even thrown his first dart, yet Gintoki was already acting smug over three-hundred measly points. That pissed him off. So, Hijikata obliged and kept his focus. There were several chances to miss, but Hijikata was confident in his own abilities, especially if that meant he could be a little smug in front of Gintoki. Gripping the dart securely between his fingers, Hijikata positioned himself with a straight composure, clearing his mind. He narrowed his eyes ever so slightly, focusing on a high score, no matter how small the balloon was from this distance. When he was ready, Hijikata shot the dart forward. It popped a balloon, the impact causing a brief noise to ring through Hijikata's ears. It was a fairly small balloon, five-hundred points. Hijikata finally got a chance to smirk, being congratulated by the teller. 

"Pshh, lucky throw". Gintoki hissed, trying his best to act indifferent for being two-hundred points behind. "My turn...". 

Gintoki appeared to be a little less cocky, but more focused on winning against Hijikata. He was determined to do so, keeping anything and everything from getting in his way. With a steady composure, tongue sticking out slightly, Gintoki threw the next dart and another baloon popped. Seven-hundred points. 

"Yes! Fuck you". 

The smug expression returned once again, only this time Hijikata rolled his eyes and prepared his second dark. If he could target the one-thousand point balloon, that would provide a leg up in this childish game. That's what it was: childish. Yet something about this was enjoyable, thrilling when going against someone like Gintoki. They were both sore losers, knowing what their opponent's losing face would be at the end was a drive, of sorts. It made this game a little more entertaining. 

Taking a deep breath, Hijikata focused on his target. It was a long shot, but it couldn't hurt to take a chance. However... Hijikata paused as he held the dart between his fingers. There was a rather large gap between the thousand point balloons, each one smaller than the rest, the smallest balloon. Hijikata found his vision in an unfocused state as he stared directly at the target. Hijikata hated to lose...However, he wasn't dumb enough to take such a risk. That was Gintoki, a man who used to risk his money on a game like pachinko. No. Better to play it safe. 

Hijikata focused, tossing his dart to the far end of the stall once more, striking another five-hundred point balloon. At this point, they were tied at a thousand points each. Despite the tie they were left at, Gintoki's smirk didn't fade. Why? He wasn't worried? Gintoki picked up his third and final dart. Suddenly, in a flash, he threw it at the board. The popping noise echoed for a moment...Gintoki was a man who took risks, motivated by other's weakness'. Hijikata's was the "play it safe or lose" ideal. As if out of sheer luck, Gintoki had struck a thousand point marker, the smallest balloon in the entire game. Two-thousand to one-thousand points...Hijikata was astonished, as was the teller behind the counter. Gintoki's smirk grew into a grin, his eyes piercing towards Hijikata. He was so smug...So, so proud of himself, knowing Hijikata's weakness to use it as an advantage. Taking the chance to earn one-thousand points, knowing Hijikata would have tried to play it safe with a smaller number. Hijikata was at a disadvantage from the start-being the one to shoot second and for playing it safe! 

("That...That bastard!") Hijikata's thoughts echoed. This was a mere child's game-he knew this, yet it was so damaging to his pride if he lost now against such a smug, proud and overall shameless guy! 

("What will you do now, Hijikata-kun~?") Gintoki's thoughts also echoed, a sense of self-satsfaction lacing through those thoughts. ("Risk it? Tie with me again? I know you would, 'cause you hate to lose. Oh, how you hate it, especially against me~. Ufufu..."). 

What was with this sudden personality change?! Was he Kira?! Was Gintoki now the Kira of summer festival games?! Hijikata was cursing internally. His frustration wasn't going to help. He had to calm down...Calm down, stay calm and figure out how to beat Gintoki. The only way was to tie and receive more darts. Then what? Gintoki would continue with this until he won? Damn it! Damn it all! 

("...Screw it"). Hijikata picked up his last dart, grasping it firmly in the palm of his hand. He trembled for a moment, aiming the dart at the board. He didn't have much of a choice here. He could either lose or lose trying. Neither of those were satisfactory, but...! ("...Screw it. Screw it, screw it, screw it!") Hijikata launched his final dart directly at the board, watching it soar into the air for a split second before the popping noise echoed throughout this tiny stall. Silence, suspense...A tie. 

"Woaah! Looks like we've got a tie! Two-thousand points each! Sure you guys are taking this a little too seriously, seeing as this is just a game but-". 

"Shut it, man!" Gintoki yelled in protest. "This is a man's game! And only one will come out on top! I call for a sudden death!" Gintoki was that confident... 

"You guys are taking this way too seriously, but alright. I'll get two more darts, but after that please leave my stall". 

"No arguments here...". Hijikata was then struck with an idea. It was far-fetched, but it was worth a shot. "Oi, Gintoki...". Hijikata reached into the inner pocket of his yukata. 

"...?" Arms crossed, acting patient until he received his final dart, Gintoki took a moment to look over at Hijikata curiously. Hijikata took out a cigarette, placing it between his lips. 

"Feeling stressed yet?" He asked, lighting it up. 

"Eh? What're you playing at? No, I'm not stressed. I feel pretty good actually. Been a while since we've competed in anything. Kinda nostalgic...". 

"Nostalgic, huh...Well, you look quite anxious. Why not give in to temptation for once, seeing as this is a special occassion, huh? A little guilty pleasure...". 

Gintoki's eyes widened in horror. No...He wouldn't...dare! Hijikata held out his cigarette packet to Gintoki. Only one more sat in the darkness of the crumpled pocket. And, after all these months, it was a little tempting, but... 

"N-no! What the hell are you tryin' to do?!" 

"Offer you a cigarette. It's been months for you, right? And this game, competing with you is working up my stress a bit. I'm sure even you could use one". 

"Knock it off, you bastard! Don't think you'll stress me out! I'm on withdrawl, you asshole!" 

"Phew...". Hijikata took a long drag, blowing out a thick cloud of cigarette smoke, a fine and sick smile on his face. "Haa, man, I'm a lot calmer now. I think I can do this. Oh, but it's your loss, ya know". 

"...! Oi, h-hold on...". 

"Alright, here are your darts. Sudden death". The teller passed over the last darts to the men, their composures switched. 

"After you, Gintoki". Hijikata continued to smoke his cigarette, more than patient for Gintoki to take his turn. And Gintoki knew, at that very moment, that he was screwed. 

He was shaking, sweating bullets as he tried his best to aim his final dart at a decent target. His vision blurred and shook. The withdrawl...That bastard! That mayo addicted bastard! Gintoki internally screamed, facing his defeat with some level of pride as he threw his final dart. But, unfortunately, there was no popping sound. Just the dull tap of the darts needle hitting the board, narrowly missing the one-thousand point mark. He...He...! 

"Hmph...Gintoki...". Hijikata stepped forth, dropping his cigarette on the ground, crushing it under his foot. His smirk grew into a grin as he pointed his dart directly for a measly fifty-point mark, the largest balloon on the board. "...I win"....Pop. 

"Looks like we have a winner!" The teller exclaimed, glad that their weird competition was over so that more people could visit his stall instead. 

Gintoki felt the defeat crush him. He leaned over the stalls counter, burying his face in his hands. Hijikata took it upon himself to rub soft circles into Gintoki's back, still smirking, basking in his little victory. 

"It's not that bad, Gintoki. It's just a game after all. No need to be embarrassed". 

"...Hah...". 

"...?" 

"Haha....Hahaha...". Out of the blue, Gintoki began snickering, then laughing quietly. "Hijikata-kun, you say I shouldn't feel embarrassed...I'm afraid, you're the one who shouldn't feel too embarrassed, after all...you won the prize". 

"Eh? What're you talking abou-". 

"Sir, here's your prize. Congratulations~, please don't come back to my stall~". 

"...!" Hijikata stood there, stunned. No way...The teller held out an overly-cute teddy bear plushy with soft fur, big eyes and red cheeks. It was limp, but clearly for cuddling purposes. For that, Hijikata felt the uncomfortability run through him in shudders. Right next to him, Gintoki was covering his mouth, snickering like an idiot. "Uh...No thanks. I can do without". 

"Come on, sir. It's just cute fluffy-wuffy teddy bear. Please, accept it for your clear victory". 

"N-no, it's really alright. I don't really...like bears". 

"Pfft, haha...C-come on, Hijikata-kun~. One fwuffy, wuffy teddy bear won't hurt. Kukuku....I think-hah...I think it'd look cute in your bedroom, something to snuggle up with. I'm almost jealous". 

"You have nothing to be jealous about you bastard! And stop laughing! This isn't funny!" With bright red cheeks, Hijikata reluctantly took the bear from the teller's hands, lowering his head in shame. "Th-thanks...". He muttered, walking off. 

Hijikata quickly grabbed Gintoki by the wrist, hearing his laugh grow louder as he failed to contain his happiness. This moment, right here, was a joyous occassion in Gintoki's life. Right up until Hijikata dragged Gintoki into a shrouded area between two other stalls and practically forced the bear into Gintoki's arms, which brought his giddy laughter to a halt. Hijikata's cheeks were still red, which was definitely cute in Gintoki's eyes. 

"Here, you take it. I don't want to keep such a weird thing". 

"Ehh? Come on, don't be shy. It's just a bear. Besides, I don't want it either. Bears aren't my thing. Who do you think I am: Akihiko Usami? Fuck no. I may be an author and I'm terrible misunderstood, as well as a pervert, but no. No bears or eighteen-year-old boys". 

"Oi, don't use a yaoi reference in this series, it's weird. Now take the bear. It's better off with you, anyway". 

"What makes you think it's better off with me? It's not a living thing! Don't say it as if I'm taking in a lost little kitten from the rain! What kinda delinquent are you?! Despite your hardened attitude, you're supposed to secretly care for the kitten, not give it away you heartless cur!" Gintoki shoved the stuffed bear back into Hijikata arms, only for it to be pushed back. 

"It's just a bear! Now take it!" 

"No way, bastard! Don't just force it on me! At least treat it as a gift or something!" 

"...! F-fine, fine...". Hijikata grumbled, defeated. His cheeks were practically glowing at this point, passing the bear over to Gintoki in a gentle fashion. "Th-this...is for you. Let's just...say I won it for you, okay? You'll accept it, won't you?" Hijikata didn't look up at Gintoki as he was far too bashful to meet with his surprised gaze. But, soon enough, Gintoki's expression eased into something that said "what am I gonna do with you?" 

Gintoki took the bear from Hijikata, holding it close to his chest in a sympathetic way to Hijikata's efforts, accepting his "gift". 

"You look like a high schooler confessing to a girl, y'know that? I think it's cute". Hijikata's face was hot, all the way up to his ears when a soft kiss was place on his cheek. "Thanks, Hijikata. This is the first proper gift you've ever given me, even if it is awkward of you. Seriously, you're embarrassing me". 

"Shut up...You're not making this any easier". 

"Du-mmy, don't take my words so seriously. Now...". Gintoki grabbed Hijikata's arm, dragging him out of this shrouded area. "Let's go play more games. I'm having fun, so why not?" 

"...Really?" 

"Yup. This is fun, being stuck with you. Let's go, before the stalls get too crowded. Ah, shit, they are crowded. Screw it. It's more fun this way, builds up your enthusiasm to play the game". 

As Gintoki dragged Hijikata towards another stall for another game, Hijikata caught a glimpse of Gintoki's childish side. It was something Gintoki talked about often, but had never exposed it like this. He was in a happy place, having fun over silly children's games in his adulthood. He had missed out on such things. He had missed out on his childhood...Hijikata had pictured it for a moment; all that he had lost within a few short months. Neither of them knew what a childhood was like. Hijikata had left such memories to rot while he tried so hard to grow up into a strong adult, into someone who doesn't take enjoyment in games, someone who works tirelessly, someone who doesn't cry. Seeing Gintoki with that smile on his face, the appearance of a child at play, Hijikata could feel this gap in his heart, a gap that could finally be filled by fun and games. Everything he had missed out on as a child... 

... 

"Ah, let's try our hand at this". 

Hijikata snapped out of his daze, watching Gintoki kneel in front of the goldfish tank. He paid to play, for two. Was he intended to catch some? Seemed like it.

"Are you serious?" 

"Duh. Whether you're a child or an adult, it's challenging to catch goldfish at the festival. Here, you try it". 

Hijikata was dragged down onto his knees, beside the tank, where two young boys were already trying to catch a few but were struggling. Gintoki was in a hyped state, ignoring his age for a moment so he could have fun here. And Hijikata had to admit, this was kind of fun. 

"I've never played this game before, y'know". 

"Don't worry 'bout it, you'll pick it up quickly". Gintoki was awfully reassuring, which came as a bit of a surprise. "See, you take a paper net and you try to scoop up as many golfish as you can. It's kinda difficult since the paper in the net breaks easily, but I think we'll manage". 

"...Right. If you say so". 

"Here, watch the master". 

Gintoki picked up one of the small, flat nets and a small, water-filled bowl to catch them in. Curious, the boys already occupying the game watched in fascination to see if an adult could do any better. Gintoki didn't placethe net under the water just yet, and waited patiently for the right moment. Eventually, when there was a small cluster of fish cornering themselves within the tank, Gintoki quickly dipped his net in the water and, somehow, brought a couple fish back out. They wriggled and flew a short distance into the air before landing in Gintoki's small bowl of water. The kids wowed in amazement. 

"Wow, Mister, how'd ya do that?" 

"Yeah, how? Mine keeps breaking, so...". 

"It doesn't take much skill, just practice. My old teacher used to say that practice makes perfect. Anyway, do you brats want these? I dunno how to take care of goldfish, so you can keep 'em if you want". 

"Wait, really?! Thanks, mister!" Gintoki passed off his catch in a plastic back filled with water. The two boys stared at their new goldfish, amazed but determined to catch their own eventually. 

"You handled that pretty well". Hijikata made that remark, often noticing how Gintoki was good with kids. Gintoki was an unpredictable man, although that could be taken in different ways. 

"I suppose. Kid's are easy to talk to after having multiple conversations with one for about two years; Kagura, Shinpachi and Seita". 

"Seita...?" 

"Oh, right, you've never met the kid. Clever brat, although he embraces his childhood while it's right there in front of him. Maybe you'll meet him someday, if we ever bump into Tsukuyo or Hinowa on the street. They're acquaintances of mine, although we don't see eachother that often. But I'm sure they're here at the festival, somewhere". 

"Maybe we'll bump into them then". 

"...Yeah, maybe. Now are you gonna attempt this or what?" 

"Ah...". Right. Hijikata completely forgot about the game. "N-no, you go ahead". 

"Come on, I already paid for two. It's easy once you get the hang of it". 

"Haah, fine. I'll...give it a shot. But don't laugh if I mess up". 

"I won't, I won't. Just take your time and don't hold the net under the water for too long". 

Hijikata wondered how many times this man was going to cause him to cave in to every little challenge. There was no apparent answer... Hijikata watched the tank carefully, net in hand as he watched the goldfish swim with ease. With the bowl of water in his hand, Hijikata made an attempt to catch at least one fish. Unfortunately, he faltered. Despite scooping up the fish, it was startled and incidentally flew a short distance into the air. As Hijikata tried to catch it, the fell onto the net in Hijikata's hand, wriggling and jumping up before it finally broke tjrough the paper and landed right back into the water. It was a degrading defeat, much more so as Gintoki tried to hold back his laughter. 

"Haha...Oh my god, you're face. You...You were so freaked out..Ahaha...". 

"Oi, you said you weren't gonna laugh". 

"Haha, oops. Ahem, 'xcuse me but that was pretty funny. Never knew you were such a spaz". 

"...Argh...". 

"Here, lemme see. I'll show you a little trick, okay?" 

"...Whatever". 

... 

Walking past the goldfish tank, Kyuubei couldn't take her eyes off of Gintoki and the man whom Otae had greeted earlier. He was...in an intimate relationship with Gintoki. This was an odd thing to even fathom, for many reasons. Although Kyuubei had not known Gintoki for that long, she had heard a few things about him; how he's not interested in serious relationships, he's quite careless, and is a huge pervert towards women. At least, she had heard these things from Otae, thus trusted her opinion. But to see Gintoki being with a man in such an intimate relationship...It made Kyuubei wonder. 

"Kyuu-chan, I can't get over how cute you look in your yukata. I have pretty good taste, huh. Especially when it comes to such a delicate flower like you". 

Surprised, struck out of her daze, a heated blush crossed Kyuubei's cheeks. Comments like this were so embarrassing from Otae, but that didn't mean Kyuubei didn't appreciate them. 

"U-uh, thank you, Tae-chan, but...I still don't feel ver comfortable in women's clothes. I feel a little foolish". 

"Don't be silly. I mean, you have been wearing men's clothes for the longest time, but that doesn't mean you can't have a variety. After all, I think you suit either or very well". 

"...". 

"Kyuu-chan, is something wrong? You've been a little quiet since we got here. Do you feel sick or anything?" 

"N-no, not at all. I'm fine, thank you. It's just...That man whom Gin-san is with...You said they were dating, right?" 

"Yes, it is quite unbelievable for Gin-san to be dating anyone, especially another man. But I still believe he's the same old nuisance as always. Whoever he decides to go out with won't change that". 

"Uh, is that so? Well, Tae-chan, how do you...feel about it? Same sex, relationships, I mean". 

Kyuubei wasn't being very subtle. It was clear from the blush on her face and the bashful way she was playing with her hair. It was the first time her long hair had ever been let down, thus it became something of a habit whenever she was nervous. Otae noticed this, her smile fading for a moment before it brightened back up again. 

"I have no problems with it". 

"...!" 

"If two people, any two people, love eachother and are happy, then what's the harm? Although it is a weird topic, especially when Gin-san of all people is involved, but nowadays things like this should be normality. I have to ask, Kyuu-chan, do you still...find interest in other women?" 

"...I...I don't know. I first thought my feelings were only for Tae-chan, then I recognised the concept of perhaps finding other women to fall in love with, but then I thought about dating a man and I felt weird, since I've acknowledged by gender as male. I think...I think I would like to...explore both, if possible". 

Kyuubei didn't look at Otae. Her expression was saddening, knowing that she would always love Otae romantically and as a friend. She was conflicted by that, therefore kept her feelings locked away. If Kyuubei was serious about trying different things to find out her sexuality, then... 

"I'll try to help you as much as I can, then". Otae offered, gladly. Kyuubei was touched by this, although her chest still ached knowing that her current feelings still remained. 

"Thank you, Tae-chan. I owe you so much". 

"You don't owe me anything at all. Now, why don't we enjoy the festival together? Ah, I know. Let's go buy something sweet from one of the stalls. Have you ever had cotton candy?" 

"No, I haven't. I try to avoid sweet things so I can keep in shape, for sports. I know Father would want that...". 

"Well, it couldn't hurt to have a sweet thing every once in a while. Come on". 

Otae took a hold of Kyuubei's hand, surprising her. Otae's hand was warm. This was the only thing Kyuubei could think about in a blank daze. It was soft and warm...and Kyuubei didn't want to let go, not for a moment. But it couldn't be helped, could it? They reached a stand of cotton candy with different designs on the packaging. 

"Ah, Hasegawa-san, haven't seen you around for a while". Otae greeted the man handling the stand: Hasegawa. 

"Yeah. I haven't shown up since the second chapter. But, here I am. What can I fgt for you ladies?" 

"Two cotton candies. It's Kyuu-chan's first time getting one, so I thought I'd treat her". 

"Ohh, okay. Well that'll be one-hundred yen each". Otae paid, despite Kyuubei's protests to pay for them both. Her efforts fell on deaf ears as Hasegawa was already passing over the sweets. "Here ya go, miss. Enjoy". 

Kyuubei, although hesitant, reached out and took her treat in hand. When she did, her hand accidentally brushed against Hasegawa's knuckls. Sparks went off in her mind, a feeling of disgust coursing through her. Enraged-completely out of the blue anger-she threw her fist towards Hasegawa. 

"Yaaaaaaaagh! Don't touch meeeeeeeeeeeee!" 

It happened so fast. Hasegawa was punched square in the face, the brute force sending him flying. He wasn't conscious for long to register what just happened. 

"Haah, haa...". Kyuubei panted, her chest heaving. 

"Hey, Kyuu-chan, wasn't that a bit much. He may be a Madao, but Hasegawa-san was being nice. Honestly, you should try to control these things. Not all men are perverts, you have to remember that if a man approuches you, violence isn't always the answer". 

"Haa...You're right. I'm sorry, Tae-chan". 

"Don't apologise to me. Take pity on Hasegawa-san. Haa, honestly...". 

"Otae-san is right, ya know. Men may have a hard exterior, but deep down being struck by a woman hurts-not only the face or gut-but the soul". 

"Who asked you you damn stalkeeeeeeeer?!" 

The next incident happened just as fast. Kyuubei witnessed the Chief of police suddenly approuch Otae out of nowhere before he was knocked into oblivion by Otae herself, who bore a frustrated and murderous expression. Kondo-san lay unconscious on the ground, twitching, just barely alive. 

"Uh, Tae-chan...". 

Otae's bright smile came back as she hooked her arm with Kyuubei's and began walking off, away from the scene. 

"This is different. Totally different, Kyuu-chan. Stalkers deserve to be beaten to a pulp, especially perverted gorillas like him. Keep your distance and you should be fine". 

"R-right...I'll keep that in mind, then". 

... 

Yet another crack appeared in the candy-shaped rabbit that Nobume was trying to carve out, with a tooth pick to boot. She raised her eyes from her own candy rabbit to Okita's candy frog (was it?), no sign of frustration on her face even after the third try. Okita skillfully pierced the sharp end of the pick into the candy square, eventually carving out a perfect shape. 

"Oi, Nobume, did yours crack again? For a girl, you're not very delicate". 

"Shut up. This child's game is stupid anyway". 

"Ooh, you sound Hijikata. He's a sore loser too. I mean, look at the China Girl, she's a sore loser, yet look at her go". 

Kagura appeared to be cutting out shapes by the minute, treating this game as a contest as soon as the three of them sat down. A small pile of animal-shaped candies had fomed next to her. She did say something about beating Okita, yet he wasn't taking this too seriously. That was evident in that casual, yet mocking, smirk of his. 

"I don't wanna play anymore. Children's games are a waste of time". 

"Not a "waste", they just make the time go by faster. And it's easy once you get the hang of it. My sister and I used to come to the festival together and I'd make a bunch of these. I didn't really eat too much candy, but...". 

"Did you give them to you sister, then?" 

"...". Okita was quiet, his face serious and not at all contemptuous towards Nobume's unintentional way of prying. She didn't add anything to it, simply wishing to brush off this uncomofrtable atmosphere to continje with this game if the idiot went back to smirking and making fun of Nobume's inibility to cut out a single candy rabbit. 

"Will you show me how, then? Since you're obviously more delicate than I am". 

"Nah, I'm just quick". His mood changed. Good... "See, the trick is to find the best point to pierce, then the shape should come out itself. See, watch. Just. like. thi-". 

Suddenly, from across the table, Kagura reached out with her tooth pick and pierced it into the fresh cand cut-out that Okita had placed. By piercing a random spot, the candy shape cracked down to the middle. Okita's eye twitched, rage overing his features. He grabbed Kagura's wrist, forcing the tooth pick out of the candy, thus breaking the candy apart. 

"Oii, China Girl, the hell do you think you're playin' at? You pickin' a fight?" 

"Okita-kun~, Gin-chan told me that, these days, a man doesn't win a woman's heart by showing off. He has to be respectful and upfront about his feelings". 

"The hell are you yammerin' about? If you don't want me to break your arm, I suggest you back off and continue cutting out wonky shapes". 

"Huhuhu, ohh~, by the sounds of things you're really embarrassed, aren't ya? Getting all defensive...". 

The two suddenly stood up from their seats, slamming their hands on the table as they stared daggers at eachother. 

"You wanna go? Was the shooting range not enough for ya?" 

"Yep. I'll kick your butt into next week, sadist. Let's go! I call ring toss!" Kagura began running off at top speed. Okita rolled his eyes. 

"You can't just call it! Stupid China Girl!" Okita lingered for a moment, letting out a deep sigh. 

"...She seems rather fond of you". 

"...Eh?" Okita looked over his shoulder, seeing a faint smile across Nobume's lips. 

"Kagura-chan; she seem's to like you more than she lets on, like a little sister to her big brother". 

"Pfft, yeah, right. That girl's already got a big brother and he's as crazy as the year is long". 

"You mean Kamui, the gang leader?" 

"...! How do you...". 

"Being Vice-Chief provides a few perks and privelages, such as case files and information on current, underground cases. Stuff that a mere apprentice cannot be exposed to". 

"...". 

Nobume stood up, collecting all the candies made into a small bag, provided by the teller. She swayed the bag back and forth, walking past Okita, her straight expression returning. 

"If you ask me; I'd say you and Kamui are quite similar. The only difference is you're right here for Kagura-chan, and Kamui keeps his distance, although you both wish to keep her safe". 

"Tsk, how'd you come to such a deluded conclusion? On what basis makes you think either me or that psycho want to, as you say, "keep the China Girl safe"?" 

"A hunch. And the fact that, deep down, you're not a complete monster, Okita-kun. Honestly, you should be more respectful and upfront with your feelings". 

It was hard to believe that Okita was being lectured by those two about weird topics. This was the first time he felt so overpowered in a verbal argument. He hurried over to Nobume's side reluctant to say any more about the matter. Behind the sleeve of her yukata, Nobume hid a smile which vanished with a casual clear of the throat before her expression straightened out once more. Okita...What a silly boy. That thought nearly brought back a smile, thus she forced such a ridiculous thought to disappear with that smile. 

... 

Gintoki couldn't keep his eyes off the sky, a half-eaten chocolate banana in hand. With all the lights polluting the festival, and the city in general, it was no wonder the sky looked endless, like an abyss but from above. Not a single star to light the dull sky, but there were many pretty lights hung up for this event. Gintoki bit down on his sweet, his eyes drifting towards Hijikata as the familiar squishy sound of mayonnaise being squeezed onto a stick of dango coursed through Gintoki's hearing, creating a brief shudder across his back. Why would Hijikata do such a malificant thing to such a great, sugary treat? So far, they had gone through quite a few games and picked up a few souveniers: a teddy-bear, candy, a few odd anime keychains, a justaway(?) and another teddy-bear. And it was, honestly, fun. They were having fun, although after wandering around, wasting their energy on petty competition and games, the cheerful joy of experiencing childhood at the summer festival wasn't evident on their faces. They were still adults, after all.

"Haa, this was...different". 

"You think?" Gintoki furrowed his brow and Hijikata's sarcastic retort. "I've never had a chance to visit the summer festival, and this was...". 

"Fun, right? C'mon, say it. Admit it. You're having fun. C'mon, Hijikata-kun~. What was it to you, hm?" 

"...different". 

"You just repeated what I said! Drop the pride for once, asshole". 

"Aren't you having fun?" 

"...Meh". 

"See? You have your guard up as well. So don't go lecturing me about keeping face, bastard". 

"What do you wanna do now?" Gintoki asked, eating around the chocolate-covered banana while trying to avoid the stick. "The fireworks aren't starting for another thirty minutes, I think. We could play more games, buy a few things, y'know, whatever's left to do". 

"Do you want to stick around for the fireworks?" 

"Sure. It could be nice, and I know a good spot where we can sit together, all alone". At such a tone, a wave of shudders crept across Hijikata's back. He didn't like the sound of that at all. 

"I think it'll be fine to sit in public". 

"Psh, no way. During the fireworks display you can be sure that there'll be couples crowding around you, having no respect for other people as they act all lovey-dovey and make-out after a sappy confession of love. Just a bunch of teenagers who want to have sex too soon. And what a better time to spew out a love confession than under the fireworks". 

"Sounds like you have a grudge against teenagers during the summer festival". 

"And the damn culture festivals! Takasugi and Zura took up the spotlight during the end-of-the-night dance while I was sitting at the corner of the crowd without a partner!" With sheer force, the chocolate banana's stick snapped in Gintoki's clenched fist. His eyes held a lot of hatred from the past. "Damn them! Damn Shinsuke Takasugi! Damn Zura! Damn Minori Kimuraaaaa!" 

"Who the hell is that?! Is that the girl that wouldn't dance with you?! Why do you still have a grudge against her?!" 

"Haaah...I am over it, though. I don't hold grudges". 

"It didn't sound like you were over it!" 

"Anyway...I think we should watch them somewhere more private. I know a good spot, really". 

"If you hate being around the crowds that much, then fine. We can go to this private spot-just the two of us-but no funny business, alright?" 

"Tch, what do you take me for?" 

"Hey, Big Bro!" Then, all of a sudden, a familiar voice called out to Gintoki-specifically-heading his way at a fast pace. Gintoki smiled, seeing as it was as he expected: Seita, running at him with a big smile on his face. 

"Hey there, kiddo. Good to see ya again". 

"You, haa, too...". Seita was out of breath from running, but made the effort to smile brightly at Gintoki. 

"What're you doing here? Where's your mom and Tsukuyo?" 

"Ah, I went to some of the amusements with some friends, and now we're playin' hide-and-go-seek until the fireworks start". 

"Oh, well, maybe you should head back soon before they get worried. Ah, Seita, this is a...friend of mine, Toushiro Hijikata". 

Seita peered over to Hijikata, who gave an awkward wave. No matter how mature the kid was, Hijikata still couldn't talk to him properly. 

"Hey, kid". 

"Hah, hey...". Aware of the awkwardness in his greeting, Seita gave an awkward but friendly wave himself before turning right back to Gintoki. "It's nice to meet you. Er, Big Bro, have you been to the haunted shrine yet?" 

"Eh? Well...". 

"It's so cool! Mom was really scared so I had to hold her hand, but I was just as scared. There's all kinds of spooky stuff in there, so you should check it out!" 

"Err, I dunno, kiddo. I'm kinda tired, so...". 

"What, are you scared, Big Bro? If you want, I could come with you and hold your hand too". 

"No, no, no. That's fine, but...Ahh...Agh, fine. I'll go have a look-only because it sounds okay, I guess, and I'm not scared!" 

"It sounds..."okay"? It's awesome! So much so you can crap your pants. But I know Big Bro won't, 'cause you're not scared, right?" 

"What's with the doubtful look?! I'm not scared and I'll prove it! Let's go Hijikata!" 

Gintoki grabbed Hijikata's arm roughly, dragging him to his feet, towards the shrine at the far end of the festival. Hijikata was obviously reluctant to go, and wasn't very skilled at hiding it. 

"Oii! Why do I have to go?! The brat challenged you-not me! Now let go!" 

"What's the matter? You scared?" Gintoki asked that question even as he trembled, stepping closer and closer to the stone steps leading up to the attraction that was the haunted shrine. 

"I-I'm not scared! I just think it's dumb for you to take a challenge from a kid!" 

"It's fine, it's fine! We just have to take a walk around, and it'll be fine!" 

"Good luck, Big Bro! Don't die of a heart attack, alright?!" Seita called out to them from the bottom of the stairs, his words echoing loud enough for the whole festival to hear. It couldn't be that scary...No way. There was no way. And they were both adults, so something like this shouldn't have been a big deal. Right? 

... 

"Enjoy the attraction sir. Don't get lost now". 

"Oi! What kind of reassurance is that?! How can you get lost around here?!" 

"Gintoki, let's just go and...get this over with".

Gintoki stood right next to Hijikata as they walked down the path, leading towards the shrine. Apparently the path would take them into the forest, where the real event took place. It was only them: Gintoki and Hijikata, alone and skeptical about this whole situation. Gintoki looked around in every direction, his eyes darting around as he tried to be prepared for any surprise to come leaping at them. Hijikata, on the other hand, couldn't take his eyes off of the path ahead. He was sweating and shaking, but tried hard to keep his cool in front of Gintoki. 

"Hey, this isn't so bad...". Gintoki broke the silence, relaxing ever so slightly, knowing Hijikata was right beside him. "I-I mean, ghosts and ghouls don't exist. Haha, I mean, really...We're adults, this is nothing". 

"Right. Y-you're right. Must be fun for the kids, though. If you ask me; this is a little on the dull side". 

"Oi, we've barely made it to the shrine. And are you sure you're alright? You're shaking. Don't tell me you wanna turn back already?" 

"What? Don't be ridiculous...". 

"Good. You'd better not turn back. Don't betray me! I mean, man up! This isn't scary...It's not. Not at all". 

"You can turn back if you want, y'know. I won't judge you at all". 

"I'm not gonna turn back! And you shouldn't either! Let's just stick it out and-uwah! Holy shit!" 

All of a sudden, Gintoki clung to Hijikata's arm. His nails dug into the sleeve of his yukata, his eyes focused on a single spot from within the forest. Due to these sudden actions, Hijikata jolted too, his heart stopping for a split second. Too much excitement...There was too much excitement for them both... 

"Hey! What's wrong with you?" 

"No way, no way, no waaay! I thought I just saw something in the forest! L-like a shadow!" 

"That isn't funny, Gintoki! Don't think you'll scare me by spouting such nonsense!" 

"I'm not kidding! B-but, y'know, it's probably n-not a gh-ghost or anything. M-maybe it was just another guest who came for the attraction, that's it". 

"Y-yeah...Haa, don't get so freaked out over something so stupid". 

"I'm not freaked out!" 

"Then why are you clinging to my arm?!" 

"I...Th-this is for you, like a security blanket. You screamed just now, so you must be scared, right?" 

"It wasn't a scream! I was surprised when you grabbed me so suddenly, because you're scared!" 

"Fuck you! I'm not scared! Nooot at all! And I'll prove it! Let's keep going!" 

"...! You know what, fine by me!" 

They stubbornly continued to walk down the path, around the shrines main structure and towards the forest behind it. Neither of them argued about clinging to eachother's arms, as if they pretended not to notice. Gintoki didn't say a word, even when he could clearly feel Hijikata shiver under his touch. Hijikata didn't say anything, even when he could feel Gintoki's rapid heart beat pound against his arm as it was squished against Gintoki's chest. This felt weird...Even when stuck in such a situation, this felt quite intimate. Gintoki was grasping Hijikata's arm so tightly, and Hijikata had his arm hooked securely around Gintoki's. There was no escape from this with excuses, so neither of them said a word about it. Not a word, otherwise they would both get embarrassed. They could avoid that, definitely. But they couldn't avoid what was right in front of them: the forest that lay behind the shrine. 

A path lay ahead of them, quickly cut off my darkness, followed by a small patch of dim lighting that was hung up among the crowd of tall trees. The two men stood at the foot of this path, hesitating. They hadn't seen anything yet. No ghosts or apparitions to scare the hell out of them. The atmosphere was eerie, and the tension was slowly building up. Nothing could happen here, at the entrance to the forest. Nothing would jump out at them at the starting gun. But the suspence was killing them both the longer they waited instead of immediatly trying to keep face and move forward.

"Um, well...After you, Hijikata". 

"Why the hell do I have to go first? Does it scare you that much?" 

"Could you not repeat yourself?! It's not that I'm scared, I'm just being a gentleman! Age before beauty and all that!" 

"We're the same age, idiot!" 

"Ah, then are you suggesting we go in together?" 

"That would save a lot of energy, yes". 

"Fine. We'll go on three-and you'd better go too! Don't betray me! I'll kill you if you betray me!" 

"You'd better not betray me either! Okay...One". 

"Two...". 

Three. They both took the first step into the forest, immediatly flinching as the echo of feathers flapping and the squak of a crow sent a shudder of electricity through their chests, like a needle being pierced through the heart. They both froze before allowing two relaxed sighs to escape simultaniously. Then, with that, they followed the lights down this creepy, ominous path.

"This...This is nothing!" Gintoki exclaimed, feighning confidence. "Scary? Pah! As if!"

"Oi, could you not yell so loudly?" 

"Why? Is something here with us?!" Gintoki clung onto Hijikata's arm tighter, gripping it close to his chest again. 

"Wh-who knows...Don't ask me...". 

It was dark, nearly pitch black if those lights hadn't been hung up. Although the position was random, and far apart from eachother, it was the only light source they had to guide them out of the forest. If that was the case, they shouldn't have stepped into the forest in the first place... It seemed the director was reaching new heights when it came to a scary scene for the summer festival. Different people organised it every year and, by the looks of things, someone like Takasugi could have easily picked this out of one of his horror novels. Gintoki had still refused to pick one up, but he had heard of them through office workers at Nihon Bungeisha's break room or the editor department. Many of the women discussed the different novels produced from there, and Gintoki natural listened in every time he bought the usual strawberry milk from the vending machine, or discussed scripts or articles with Katsura. Takasugi's novels often came up in conversation. This scene, right in front of Gintoki, would perfectly depict one of those novels. 

Nothing lay beyond the path but darkness and dim lighting. Not a sound stirred from behind the trees or bushes, only the clicking of crickets and the occasional twig snapping beneath their feet. There was nothing. Just this ominous feeling churning around in their stomachs as they waited for something-anything-to pop out and scare them to death. Then, as the pressure began to slowly build up to it's limit, Gintoki cracked. 

"Hm-hm-hm~. Hm-hm~. Hm~Hm~. Hm-hm~". 

"...? Gintoki?" 

Gintoki hummed an odd tune, unrecognisable and out of tune. He mixed it up every so often as a way to distract himself before he suddenly began singing. He began singing anime songs at the top of his lungs. 

"To to ro! Totoro! To to ro! Totoro~! Someone secretly bury a berry in the side road~ and when a small spout grows, the secret code~ is the passport to the forest-a wonderful adventure will begin~~! My neighbour to to ro! Totoro! To to ro! Totoro~!" 

He was practically screaming the lyrics, his eyes wide as he tried-and failed-to keep calm. Hijikata was at a crossroads between wanting to punch Gintoki for being so loud, and pitying him. His actions did provide an ice-breaker, though. With Gintoki screaming the lyrics to My Neighbour Totoro, they wouldn't exactly be surprised by anything else. They would both be tone deaf by the end of this attraction. Hearing Gintoki attempt to distract himself helped ease Hijikata's anxiety. The silence was broken, and the familiar-yet off-key-tune eased the tension a little. That was until Gintoki wore out his lungs and throat before returning to the chorus. 

"Haa...My neighbour...Haa...Kh!" Gintoki let out a few hoarse coughs, clearing his throat. Of course his throat would dry up when using the full extent of his voice-since neither of them had drank anything since arriving at the festival-leaving Gintoki's wind pipe in the same state as an old attic. "Oh...god-kh!" 

"Oi, don't strain yourself too hard". Hijikata gave Gintoki a pat on the back, or several in order to bring him some level of relief. "Take it easy". 

"Kuh! Haah...I don't need you to tell me that, you-....!" 

In the middle of their spat, both men froze when the forest fell silent. All noise ceased at the sound of a distant rustling in the bushes, far beyond the path. It suddenly felt like they were being watched, stalked by whatever occupied this ominous forest in the darkness. Staring out, their eyes affixed on the possible source of the noise, both Gintoki and Hijikata stood frozen on the spot. They stood underneath the dim light. It flickered from above, their hearts pounding and skipping one or two beats at every little noise that sounded at random moments. They watched the path ahead intently, expecting the absolute worst by this point. And, as their expectations predicted, the worst had only just begun. An ice cold chill ran across their backs, like breath of the undead. A shadow crept up on them, staring at the back of their heads with a piercing gaze. Realising this, Gintoki and Hijikata slowly looked back, over their shoulders in an anxious attempt to confront their fears. For a second, their hearts had stopped beating and their blood had ran cold. Behind them, standing right behind them in the light, was a figure. They were so close that the two men could see every feature in a matter seconds; a tattered, white gown, damp black hair that covered most of the face and a sickeningly pale complexion. They had saw as much as they could in just a few, brief seconds of standing around in pure horror...before they began running down the path, as far away as possible. 

"Uwwwaaaaaaaaaaahhh!" Their screams echoed throughout the forest, their legs taking them as far as they would go across bumpy earth with nearly no lighting to guide them. 

"Wh-wh-what the hell was thaaaaat?!" Gintoki cried out, running at his own pace with Hijikata following just as quickly. 

"I don't know! But it was there, right?! It was definitely there?!" 

"D-don't ask me, idiot! You saw it! I saw it! Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuuuuuuuck! I'm not ready to dieeeee!" 

"Who the hell said anything about dying?! Ah, look, the exit is just-Uwaaah!!" 

Hijikata suddenly lept forward, dodging the corpse that reached out from within the bushes. Out of instinct, he grabbed Gintoki's wrist to pull him further towards the exit as they went. 

"Was that a fucking corpse?!" 

"Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Hijikata-kun~, just shut up will ya?!" 

"We're close to the exit! Just a little further! I'll get us out of this!" 

"Oi! I can manage myself! But don't let go of me you bastard! Don't leave me behind!" 

"Don't be a dick! Anyway, I'd never leave you behind! Like hell I would!" 

"...!" Gintoki was left astonished, ignoring the horrors going on around him due to Hijikata's piercing words that left his heart suddenly feeling heavy. He said he'd never leave... It wasn't anything to take seriously and it wasn't those exact words, but...Despite that, Gintoki's heart sank with the weight of his memories that had come flooding back the previous evening. Why now? 

"...! There! We made it...". 

Gintoki was in a daze, only just coming back to reality after Hijikata had stopped dragging him out of tye darkened forest. His feet ached from being dragged through earth and rubble, possibly cut up through his sandals. Hijikata panted heavily, unevenly in his own haze of exhaustion and fear. But it was over. It had to be. 

"Haah, god...Gintoki, are you alright?" 

"Eh? Yeah, fine. Ha, man, you were really scared, huh? Pulling me out to safety like a hero, despite being scared your-...self". 

"...Gintoki?" Gintoki had a look on his face that was both unfamiliar and unusual for Hijikata to see. It was a sullen look; serious but saddened. It was the kind of face Gintoki had never made before, but- 

"Ah, fella's. May I have a word?" 

Three pairs of eyes met in the span of two seconds when a voice called out to Gintoki and Hijikata specifically. A man wearing some sort of cloak and a fox mask, kept on his head in order to show his face, came running towards them with some sort of awkward appearance. "That, back there, I've never seen anyone run through the attraction like that before. You missed most of the jumpscares and I lost my cue. Was it really that scary?" 

"Eh...?" Hijikata questioned this man simply, bothered by this sudden appearance. 

"My wife was a part of this too. I see you met her near the start; the woman in the gown, with the long, black hair. Yeah, she's really good with this stuff". 

"Uh-...huh". Hijikata couldn't help but feel silly for all of this. That was the right word: silly. So childish and idiotic, just like his instincts screaming at him to grab Gintoki and run. 

"Haha, I'm quite proud of that. Ah! Hey! You're foot is bleeding! Are you alright there?" The man pointed to Gintoki's foot, and Hijikata's eyes followed. 

Gintoki's foot was certainly bleeding, a big cut running through the center and slightly over his toes. It looked painful, next to the minor duts and scrapes the covered both of his feet. 

"Gintoki, are you alright? Sorry...We should patch this up". 

"Ah? This? No, I'm fine. The bleeding should stop eventually". 

"Are you an idiot? It looks really bad. Dammit, this is my fault for dragging you to the exit. Uhm, can you walk?" 

"Hijikata, haha, really, I'm okay. Not quit worrying about a little cut. Are you my mother or something?" Hijikata quickly grew short-tempered with Gintoki's reluctancy to get his foot bandaged up. Frustrated, he grabbed Gintoki's wrist to drag him again-over solid, clear ground-so he could have his wound tended to. 

"Excuse me, is there anywhere we can bandage his foot?" 

"There's a supply shed just to the east from here. I-it's right at the corner of the shrine, smallest building here-a shack. You can't possibly miss it". 

"Thanks. Now, c'mere you stubborn ass". 

It didn't take a century for Gintoki to give up, as situations of the like usually do with him. He followed Hijikata towards this shack, the words spoken to him before replaying in soft, subte echoes. Why now? Why did it all have to come back now? He clenched his fist under Hijikata's grasp, although Hijikata didn't notice-having taken a hold of Gintoki's wrist and not his hand. Gintoki couldn't quite comprehend it yet, and he doubted that these feelings would ever be understood. It was heavy, despite having forgotten about the chains dragging him down throughout the festival. He didn't get it at all... 

... 

Gintoki's rear was parked on an old, dusty crate within the supply shack. Somehow, Hijikata had come across a fully usable med-kit with sterile bandahes and antibiotic ointment to prevent an infection. Having dragges his feet through the woods in a pair of sandals, anything could have got into the wound and Gintoki could avoid getting some sort of infection or rash. Hijikata knelt before Gintoki, gently removing both of his shoes in order to clean the wound properly and bandage it. The shack had a few odd things, like a sink with running water and some cloth to clean up the blood. This moment in itself felt familiar to Gintoki, only that moment was way back when the old hag cleaned the wound on his hand an bandaged it up. It presented clear evidence that Gintoki was prone to silly, or plain stupid, accidents that were as small as cutting his hand on glass, or bumping his head, or getting several paper cuts from a school project with Shouyou-sensei. He felt foolish, if but for a moment, as he knew kids who get silly little cuts or bruises are usually the ojes who have the most fun and daring personalities. It's stupid, but fun. 

Using the cloth and a bowl of water, Hijikata began to clean up the gash as gently as possible. Gintoki winced, clenching the edges of the crate as he tried to hold back his voice. It was quite painful; he had to admit, to himself. 

"Sorry. Did that hurt quite badly?" 

"N-nah...It wasn't that bad...". 

"You know that no good can come from acting brave". 

"Says the Demonic Vice-Chief who's downfall is his "bravery". You can't honestly say that you've never acted brave over the dumbest things". 

"...I suppose...you're right. No, I can't say that I haven't. The only difference is you look more childish, especially when it comes to stuff like this". 

"Nng!...Shut it...Anyway, you look like a stubborn little kid too sometimes". 

"Since when?" 

"Since always. At least, whenever I do something embarrass you. You find it really difficult to brush it off and end up yelling at me or staying silent while you blush like crazy. So cute-ack! Owowowow! You...did that on purpose!" 

"Of course I did. It's called applying pressure, idiot. Now keep quiet and keeo still so I don't end up hurting you even more than I have". 

"Tsk..Oh, yeah, you're such a gentleman, Hijikata-kun~". Gintoki scoffed sarcastically, averting his eyes as he allowed Hijikata to do his business and get this "TLC session" over with. 

Hijikata dumped the cloth within the bowl of water, next loosening the lid of the antibiotic ointment to prevent and infection. There were a few ointment pads scattered inside the med-kit from a pack that had clearly been ripped open, so Hijikata used those. He scooped up the clear, white ointment with a pad, very gently running it over the cut. Gintoki tensed up, holding back his bottom lip to keep down his moans of pain. It was a cold sensation across the sensitive cut, tingling but hurting at the same time. The wound felt hot and it stung from the contact of the ointment. Silently Gintoki hooed that this would be worth the temporary pain seeping into his foot. 

"Hey, Gintoki, you've...er, been acting a little strangely today. This morning you were pretty quiet up until you showed me the room full of your books, and when we arrived at the festival you acted normally. Then after we left the forest you grew quiet again. Is something bothering you?" 

"...There's no point telling you I'm fine and everything's okay, right?" 

"No, there's no point 'cause I'll keep badgering you until you're honest with me. I'm a cop, I'm good at pulling the truth outta people". 

"Hah, yeah, I'm sure you are". 

"So, tell me, what's been going on with you since this morning?" 

"To put it simply, I guess, I, er, had...a dream". 

"A dream?" 

"It seemed like a dream at first, like I had gone back to the past in a happy place. Then it quickly turned into a nightmare before I could wake up". 

"Is that it? Why you were acting so strangely?" 

"Yeah. It was just a dream, no need to get all worried about me over something like that". 

"...That's true. But you seemed really out of it, y'know. Like you were still in the dream, unable to wake up until someone came for you to bring you back to reality". 

Gintoki wore a little smirk, relaxing a little as Hijikata had began to bandage up the cut. 

"That was you. You brought me back to reality, I guess". 

"...". 

"If that's the case, then...Thank you, Hijikata. Thank you for bringing me back down to earth". 

"...? Gintoki...". Hijikata looked up at Gintoki, his grasp frozen on Gintoki's foot, the bandages almost falling loose just when they were all wrapped up. Gintoki was smiling softly, reaching out to brush away a few loose strands of Hijikata's hair. 

"I'm really alright, but I appreciate your concern for me. Makes me remember that you like me more than you let on sometimes". 

"...Of course I like you. If I didn't, do ya think I would be doing this for you?" Hijikata finished wrapping up Gintoki's foot, tying a neat little knot to keep it from falling apart. 

"I do, actually. You're that kinda guy, picking up some of the weight of people's problems to carry them some of the way". 

"...". 

Hijikata ran his hand up Gintoki's smooth leg, the action forming goosebumps over Gintoki's soft skin. Their eyes met along the way and Gintoki could no longer smirk at this. Hijikata was also quite serious. 

"I...I do like you, Gintoki. But at the same time I fuckin' hate you". 

"We both knew that, asshole". A sweet, quiet laughter was shared between them from an insult that seemed more like a joke. It was sweet but awkward at the same time. 

"I like how idiotic you can be sometimes, even if it does annoy me at the most inappropriate moments. And I like your childish side, too. It feels a little odd to the say this, considering our age, but I can grow to admire how you strive to find the fun in your life that you missed out as a child. I never did that, so...".

"Doesn't have to be too late. But, aren't you already having fun in your adulthood? If that's the case, then why dwell on the past instead of moving forward?" 

"...?" 

"Hey, are you two finished?" The man from early, disgarding his fox mask, peered into the room enthusiastically. "The fireworks are about to start". The stranger walked off, a woman around the same age following behind him; his wife, most likely. 

"I guess we should go, then". Gintoki slipped on his shoes again, standing up. Hijikata sprung to his feet, offering his shoulder to Gintoki on instinct. 

"Woah, woah, easy. Can you walk?" 

"Yeah. I'll manage. Don't worry, if I need you to carry me, I'll ask. I promise". 

"...Okay, then. If you're sure...".

Gintoki walked out first of all with Hijikata following behind. Gintoki was going to take them to that private spot, wherever that was. What Gintoki said...It sounded just like him, but Hijikata grew curious. If Gintoki said that, then... 

... 

Even with his minor injury, Gintoki made his way up the hill; a hill he had led Hijikata to in order to gain a clear view of the fireworks. At the top, they sat down side-by-side on the earth and the grass that, in summer, was dry and not at all muddy, looking down at the crowd that had gathered for a more public viewing of the display. 

"Well? Isn't this nice? Quiet, isolated and ya get a clear view of the fireworks, when they start". 

"This is a decent spot...". 

"Decent? Pfft. Hijikata, ladies who prefer night dresses over nurse uniforms are decent. You in your cop uniform compared to the sexy nurse outfit I picked out for you...is decent". 

"Don't remind me...". 

"Anyway, this is a lot better than just being "decent". Look at the view. Almost takes your breath away". 

"You don't say. Yeah, it is nice up here. The fact that it's quiet and away from the crowd helps a lot too". 

"Yep...Hey, Hijikata...". 

"Hm...?" 

"I, er...I just wanna say that today was fun. Made some good memories today". 

"I see...Yeah, some really good memories". 

"Those are a lot more important to me, y'know". 

"...? Well, that's common knowledge, isn't it? Memories are the things that define who we are, make us human because of experiences-whether they're happy or unhappy ones". 

"Exactly. But it strange...I didn't really have a fun, happy childhood. Most days I tried my hardest to survive, whereas this short period of time taught me that there's a lot more to life than survival. No matter how short it was, I learned so much and I think those memories made me the person I am today". 

"I can relate to that. I mean, if I hadn't met Kondo-san, I might still be at rock bottom or worse. And...if I hadn't punched you in the nuts, I would have opened up to you this much over the past few months". 

"Oi, when you put it like that, it sounds really weird. Like some rom-com bullshit". 

"I guess it does". 

Hijikata, do you wanna know why I collected all those books at home and why I was so full of energy today despite my attitude this morning?" 

"What? I never really...". 

"I know you didn't ask". Gintoki muttered, smiling faintly. "But you were thinkin' it, right?" 

"...". 

"Anyway, I started collecting those books because, yeah, I never really got to read much fiction when I was younger. And yeah I was pretty ecstatic to play games with you here and compete with you. But when it really comes down to it, I don't make memories and have fun through physical possessions. With the books and the volumes of Jump, I liked to fill my head with stories and they eventually became my inspiration to keep writing some enjoyable pieces". 

"I see. I never thought of you as a materialstic person". 

"I'm not. Someone once taught me to enjoy life as it was, to make as many happy memories as I could with the people around me. I was taught to find people to cherish and to live life happily. Possessions mean nothing to me, but as I got older it became more clear that the time I spent with people were the best moments of my life. I promised them that I would move forward, trying to keep that in mind as best I can. It is hard, though...It's a heavy burden to want to protect so many cherished people". 

"Sounds like...the person who taught you those things was very important to you". 

"...They were. I still dream about it sometimes and I remember the last thing he ever said to me". 

"What was that?" 

"He told me that he wished to have spent more time with me. He's the reason I had even just a moment of fun as a child, but the time we had was so short. I try to make up for it as best I can by keeping my promise to him. "Don't hold a grudge, don't be alone, and find happiness"...". 

Then, out of the blue, the first firework sounded in the distance, exploding in the sky. Bright colours lit up the crowd down below, looks of amazement stared up at the pretty colours with every pop and bang that rang out. Hijikata's eyes were affixed to the sky for a moment, only for a moment before his eyes wandered down to the earth below, down towards Gintoki's hand. Hijikata didn't hesitate too long, unable to look away as he reached out and grasped Gintoki's hand in his. The sensation brought Gintoki's thoughts into focus, his eyes affixed on Hijikata's hand over-lapping his. Hijikata was reluctant to hold Gintoki's hand any tighter, running his thumb over the skin in comfort. He said nothing, looking up at the sky. And soon, Gintoki looked away from Hijikata's kind gesture to watch the fireworks. This moment made Gintoki even just a little bit happy, as if Hijikata understood those kind words that Shouyou-sensei once said to Gintoki as a promise. He must of understood, perhaps empathised with him. But their conversation faded, like the lights that drifted into the sky. Then came the next set of fireowrks...And the next...All, aside from that, was quiet and peaceful by the end of the festival... 

... 

The dust clouds seemed thicker than ever as Gintoki's vast collection of books were being disturbed from their spots on the shelves, to be moved into boxes and sent away. Naturally, he was more reuctant to get rid of Jump as he casually flicked through the pages during his five-minute "break" from packing. He parked his rear firmly onto the beanbag chair, ten minutes ago, going through different volumes in chronological order so that the story was easier to understand. Hijikata had only just packed up the agreed number of fantasy novels to be sent away, while a few exceptions were to stay in the apartment. 

"Oi, how much longer are ya gonna sit around reading Jump? Either pack 'em up for the trash or keep 'em. It's your choice". 

"Hijikata-kun, do you think I want to pile up my Jump collection? I'm too old for it, yet I keep buying every volume every Saturday. I know I have to stop, but whenever they leave us at a cliffhanger I always want more". 

"You're hopeless. If you're not gonna throw them out, then I will". 

In the corner of the room lay a few piles of Shonen Jump, intended for the trash-hense the pile of garbage bags next to it. Taking a garbage bag in hand, opening it up, Hijikata reached out for the first few volumes in the pile. Upon lifting up one too many, a single volume collapsed onto the floor. Due to the impact, something small and metal fell from the pages. Hijikata cursed to himself, kneeling down to pick them up. But, as he did, he noticed that the fallen Jump volume wasn't Jump at all. It was a plain, green book with a dark stain on the cover that appeared to have soaked right through the pages. And the metal object that had also fallen appeared to be a switchblade of some sort. The blade was dull and rusted. Both these items had been neglected, just like everything else in the room, however they seemed more out of place than the other books. Hijikata picked up the scrap book, flicking through the stained pages to see that it was filled with a curriculum of some sort for basic, elementary school lessons. 

"Hey, Gintoki, what should I do with these?" 

Gintoki peered over to where Hijikata was sitting, noticing the notebook in his hand, along with the switchblade. His expression remained nonchalant, and soon he turned back to his comic. 

"I spilled ramen on it a few years ago. Thought I already threw it out. Might as well do it now". 

"...Okay, if you're sure". 

Hijikata pushed both items to the far end up the garbage back, collecting all the other volumes of Jump to be put in the trash as well. Logically speaking, that notebook was from Gintoki's childhood, when he attended school. He had a hunch about its significance, but at the same time it had no real significance to Gintoki. It was an object from his past, nothing more. Still, he must have learned so much. And it wasn't exactly an ordinary textbook. By the looks of it, it was handmade. Hijikata passed these thoughts off quietly, not saying a single word about it. 

"Oi, do you mind getting up off your ass to help out? These are your books, not mine". 

"Mmn...Fine, Princess Pain in the Ass...I'll go clear all of this up...". 

"Good, and you're a bigger pain than I am". 

"I don't think so". Hijikata rolled his eyes, continuing with the task at hand. "Oh, Hijikata, I was wondering, what do ya think I should do with this room once it's cleared out?" 

"I dunno. Make a fort?" 

"Oh, ha, ha. I was thinking of a den, or something. Like a spot in the house where you and I can relax and watch dirty movies". 

"Is that what you had in mind?" 

"Yeah, somethin' like that. We could make it look presentable; some furniture, maybe we could hang up a few photos". 

"Photos...?" 

"Yeah, I have a few photographs from a few years ago that I wanna display or put into a scrapbook". 

"Really? Can I see them?" 

"When I find 'em, yeah. They're kinda important to me, so I ask that you don't make the same mistake as I do and spill ramen on them". 

"Uh, no, I won't". 

"Cool. Now let's finish up here already". 

Gintoki went back to his task, clearing up the books he didn't want or didn't need. Hijikata's gaze lingered on him for a moment before he went straight back to clearing volums of Jump. He wondered what kind of photos Gintoki kept. By what he said, they were more important to him than normal mementos of the past, images captured to preserve his experiences and past fun. They might have been quite recent, which left Hijikata to wonder if Gintoki had any pictures from his childhood, a past that he had left behind long ago. He was distracted by these thoughts, as well as his intention to get this room cleared up by the end of the day. In his goal to finish quickly, he didn't notice the third item that had slipped from the pages of the notebook. It drifted off into the corner, falling weightlessly to the floor. It was a photograph, the corners slightly torn and bent, but the picture was clear. A group of children, smiling at the camera, as well as an adult man with a gentle and kind demeanor. Among that picture with the most nonchalant expression on his face and a finger up his nose...was Gintoki.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I enjoyed writing this chapter. Very much so. And, yes, I wrote several paragraphs over festival games. The drama and the suspense that is dragged out in the pettiest of tasks. That's Gintama. That aspect of the show is always so entertaining and I have no idea why. Haa, anyway, hope you enjoyed. This was nice. I thoroughly enjoyed writing this, even if there were awkward Hijigin/Ginhiji scenes. My favourite.
> 
> Haah, I have been surprisingly productive with this fanfiction as well. I don't understand it myself, I'm just having fun.


	21. Understanding Someone is the First Step to Any Kind of Relationship; Whether That Be Friendship or Rivalry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here I am once again for yet another chapter. This fanfic' seems to be doing pretty well. I'm receiving kind feedback and it's always nice to hear that people are enjoying this story. I love writing it, so yeah...Good. This is going well. 
> 
> And I will say no more because I already write so much in the chapters themselves. Hope you enjoy~.

In an end-of-summer setting, a wave of dramatic wind blew atop the tallest building, looking down at the vast city were no real human activity took place. It was like they were the only two people in the world, as cliché as it sounds. A woman with long wavy hair stood there with tears brimming. She held her "lover's" hands and exchanged a deep, saddened glance. The man could only smile, holding back his cue to cry to reassure her that everything was going to be alright. The young woman sniffled, averting her gaze for a mere moment.

"Where...Where will you end up? If you leave me...". The man cupped his lover's cheek, having her face him one last time. 

"I will never leave you, I never have, my love. This will not be the end. Once I travel back, I will save our unborn son and we can be happy together". 

"You promise?" 

"I do...I love you, Emi". 

"And I love you...". 

A silence grew between them, just for one moment before the atmospheric music was put on hold and the wind machine was turned off. 

"Cut...!" 

The two parted hands, although they exchanged one more glance as if to silently say "thank you for working with me". They parted ways and a small group of people approuched the man with a bottle of water-as requested-and a towel to wipe away the sweat from his brow. A smirk formed across his lips, a feeling of self-satisfaction lingering. 

"Sakata-san, you were fantastic today, really". 

"Hah, thanks, Mayu-chan. Appreciate it". 

"Sakata-san, I got a call from a few local newspapers and they really want to have an interview about the new drama series being planned". 

"Sorry, but I don't plan to have a single interview until the pilot. You can tell them that, but be polite, will you?" 

"Yes, sir!" 

He took his bottle of water and towel, heading straight to a room specifically for him. The self-satisfaction returned cleanly upon reading the name again and again before swiftly entering the private room. "KINTOKI SAKATA", in bright, golden lettering. Subconsciously, he pushed back the bangs of his silky, golden hair with a relaxed sigh escaping his lips. This room was quiet, a place where he could bask in pure glory. With every successful shoot, he felt like he had gotten yet another step ahead. 

"Well, Gintoki...". The smirk remained, only growing wider into a maleficant grin simply uttering the name. Kintoki sat back on the sofa, positioned in the corner of the room. He stared up at the cieling, staring into space as he spoke. "How does it feel? How does it feel...to be utterly crushed by my brilliance? Hm...Mwahaha...ahahaha...! See, I'm writing scripts, starring in overly-popular dramas, movies and plays, and you...You're writing your silly little fantasy novels for chump change compared to what I make. I win...I win...always...Always! Ahahaha! Hahaha!-". 

"Sakata-san, sir, you have a-...?!" Suddenly the door opened and the woman known as Mayu stepped in unannouced, interupting Kintoki's moment of elation. 

"M-Mayu-chan!" He was outraged. "How many times have I told you not to interupt me when I'm monologuing?!" 

"I-I'm sorry, sir...Were you practicing for that play again?" 

"Yes, I was. And now the moment's gone. If you'll be so kind as to come back later, that would be appreciated just as much as your petty, little, brown-nosing compliments. Now get out".

He was firm with words, more than he ever was around other people. Mayu-chan made a swift exit, her eyes on the verge of tears from his harsh and unfair words. However, this was easily brushed off, knowing he could always apologise later and spare her feelings before she was humiliated any more. With a displeased sigh, Kintoki had lost the desire to gloat by himself. He wished he could gloat to the real Gintoki Sakata, point in his face and claim victory over their contrasted successes. His desire to out-best him had gone on for quite some time, and the need to get on top had grown stronger every time they met.

Kintoki couldn't stand that nonchalant expression, those dead fish eyes and Gintoki's silly way of thinking. He was stuck in a dreamland and made a living off of it, and fans loved him for it. It was annoying, but Kintoki didn't falter in his expressions. He remained composed and found new ways to gain the attention of many over the highly-praised author known as Gintoki Sakata. And this new drama to be aired next month would pour salt into the wound of failure, in Kintoki's eyes. In someone else's perspective, his thought process around Gintoki was quite pitiful. 

"I bet you're working hard, Gintoki. Trying to out-do my drama with the next best-seller? Trust me, when I star in this new drama no one will pick up your books, looking for fantasy and emotional rollercoasters. Oh no, they'll look at the reality and pour their hearts out to see me. Oh...I hope you're up to the challenge, typing and typing until your fingers break...I would love to see it for myself...". 

Yes, this was rather pitiful. Unconsciously, Kintoki must have been relieved to have a private changing room. But, in his conscious mind, he found some sort of pleasure in insulting Gintoki the way he did. Was there any point in arguing? No, there wasn't. He challenged Gintoki without said opponent being present, expecting him to be working like crazy in order to come on top in his literacy career, above Kintoki's whole life that revolved around the entertainment industry. He hoped, but was wrong... 

... 

Gintoki was working his fingers like crazy, tapping the buttons of his controller as well as moving around the analog sticks with a hot head, frustrated with the video game in front of him. He was on the verge of throwing the controller due to the many losses he faced when playing Super Smash Bros™ with a dangerously competitive player like Kagura. She was mashing the buttons just as hard until her fingers turned red and her knuckles turned white. They had long since stood up from the sofa into an intense stand-off with their eyes affixed on the screen until they were buldging out their heads. 

"Gyaah! Fuckin' go Link you girly son of a bitch!" Gintoki cried out, rapidly striking Kagura's chosen character-that being Kirby-even as she tried to fight back. 

"Come on~ you useless piece of crap!" 

"Legend of Zelda Banzaaaiiii!" 

This all took place while Shinpachi was a simple spectator who gave up spectating three rounds ago, eating his way through a packet of Otsuu-chan potato chips that were going on sale at the convenience store since the new album's release. He quietly listened to those two as they screamed at the T.V until the climax of the battle was reached. It ended with Kagura standing by in total shock as Kirby was defeated in a shocking turn of events. Victorious, Gintoki fell to his knees with his arms in the air. 

"Fuckin' Smash Bro's MASTER! Fuck yeah!" He slammed the controller down on the hardwood floor, sweating bullets from all of the excitement. 

"Oi, an old man like you doesn't get to call himself that!" Kagura was sulking, patting her balled up fists against Gintoki's back and shoulders. "This isn't fair! You cheated!" 

"Kagura, if you can't own up to a defeat then how are you gonna own up to anything in your life? Stick it out, brat". 

"Hey! You'd be in my position too if you hadn't cheated!" 

"I told ya: I didn't cheat! How could I cheat?-Tell me that, kiddo and I'll hand over my clear victory to you". 

"Objection! You'd never do that 'cause Gin-chan is a big fat sore loser! You know ya won because you cheated!" 

"Is this a courtroom in kindergarten now?! There's no way I coulda cheated. Honest". 

"Then I demand a re-match at some point. You don't deserve the title of Smash Bros Master!" 

"Fine by me. I'll kick your little butt again and keep my title". 

"Since when was there ever a title?" Shinpachi muttered under his breath, although neither his words nor his presence raised any heads. "Gin-san...". He spoke more clearly this time, calling out to Gintoki. "You should probably get ready since Hijikata-san will be here soon. You guys are going out for the night, aren't you?" 

"Oooh~, where ya goin'?" Kagura's mood suddenly changed, her attitude a lot more mocking and impish. 

"None of your business. You just need to know that I'll be back in the apartment by tomorrow morning. Otae-san's coming over to babysit you brats since I can't leave ya by yourself all night. Shinpachi, I'm trusting you with dinner preparations. Don't let that crazy woman near the stove". 

"You got it, Gin-san. Kagura can help me man the fort known as the oven to keep my sister away". 

"Good to hear. I'm gonna change, so you should both stay put and listen out for Hijikata. Be good". 

"Oi, don't talk down to us. I'm always nice to the Mayora". 

"Kagura-chan, didn't you ask him some weird questions the last time he visited?" 

"I only asked him for tips on how to get a man onto your lap. Judging by how they act around eachother I'd say Gin-chan is quite comfortable on the Mayora's la-ow!" In response to her ramblings, Gintoki thrust the base of his hand against Kagura's head. She crouched down onto the floor, pouting as the pain throbbed in her head for a few moments. 

"Don't ask him anything weird just shut up and everything will be fine. Okay...I'll be back". 

Gintoki headed up the stairs to his bedroom to chane out of his sweaty clothes. Too much stressful gaming, that's all it was. Maybe a quick shower couldn't hurt. A shower, change of clothes-not to forget the deodorant. Kagura fell back into the sofa, sinking into the soft cushions as she only just realised how hot it was in the room. Well, she was the only one affected due to tye intense gaming session moment ago. She was tuckered out but didn't plan to go to bed until it was late, given that it was a Sunday the next morning. 

"Hey, Shinpachi?" 

"Yeah, Kagura-chan?" 

"How do you think Gin-chan and the Mayora are doin'?" 

"Hm? Well...Why don't you ask them. I mean, from what I can see they're pretty happy. Isn't that what matters?" 

"Yeah, I suppose. Do you think...Do you think Gin-chan or the Mayora have lost interest in girls?" 

"What makes you say that?" 

"I dunno. I guess since they're happy being with another guy, that they might have lost interest in ladies. Gin-chan talks about Ketsuno Ana less and less and the Mayora only has eyes for Gin-chan". 

"I don't think that they've lost interest in women, Kagura. Gin-san still gets excited for the weather forecast and, well...Actually, I'm not quite sure about Hijikata-san. He never really talks about women in the first place". 

"Hmm...Even if they haven't lost interest in girls, do you think they would be more interested in boys, too?" 

"I don't know. If you're curious, you could try asking them. I don't see the harm in it. If you ask seriously, I'm sure you'll get a serious answer. All we can do is be supportive of them and hope that they'll be happy. Gin-san even said we can ask questions, as long as they weren't inappropriate or weird". 

Kagura pondered the concept of Gintoki gaining more of an open mind towards more men, besides women. Knowing a little bit about how his relationship with Hijikata started, it seemed unlikely that he would. Hijikata never spoke about those things in the first place as he was alwaysmore concerned with his job and his friends rather than relationships or personal preference in his love life. Still, she felt as though she had to hear the answer to this question from the men themselves otyerwise she would have to keep guessing until it drove her crazy. Kagura was quite persistent to find answers when she was curious about something, instead of preventing the stress by dropping the subject altogether. 

In the midst of thought, Kagura failed to hear the anxious knock at the door. Shinpachi was the one to get up from his seat and answer it. Opening the door, he smiled and gave his greeting. 

"Ah, Hijikata-san, come in. Gin-san is getting ready, but he'll be out soon". 

"Thanks, er...Shimura". 

"Heh, just call me Shinpachi. I don't mind". 

"Shinpachi...Alright. Sorry for the intrusion". 

Hijikata stepped inside, slipping off his shoes at the entrance. He looked quite smart; wearing a nice buttoned-up shirt and pants with his coat draped over his arm. It gave the impression that he was going somewhere special with Gintoki. An awkward feeling still lingered in the air, mostly between Hijikata and Shinpachi, since they weren't that used to being together in the same room without Gintoki. 

"I'll, uh, call him. Have a seat for now, it shouldn't take too long". 

"Okay. Thanks". Shinpachi made his way over to the flight of stairs to call Gintoki, to remind him to hurry it up a little. Hijikata, for the time being, sat a little awkwardly on the sofa beside Kagura. "Hey, China Girl. What happened to you?" 

"Gin-chan and I played video games. What happened too you? You're dressed so nicely. You taken Gin-chan somewhere special?" 

"Uhh...sort of". 

"Hmm...Ah, Hijikata-san, can I ask ya something?" 

"Shoot...". For some reason, Hijikata dreaded to hear this. 

"Since you started dating Gin-chan, does this mean you like men now? Or is it just Gin-chan?" 

"...! That...Well, first of all, I can assure that I have no interest in men, if you're really that curious. Second of all, yeah...It, um, it's only Gintoki that I...am fond of". 

"Ehh? So, does this make Gin-chan your special someone?" 

"I, I wouldn't really put it that way...". 

"Why not? Clearly you two have a close connection. I know what it looks like, since my Mami and Papi had it. Or do you think Gin-chan liies men now, too?" 

"Gintoki...?" 

Hijikata hadn't expected such a suggestion but humoured it and brushed it off anyway. Yes, it was true that Gintoki had gained some sort of attraction to Hijikata's body, but to men in general? No. Gintoki liked women. Nothing would change that. Not for a guy like him. 

Shinpachi headed back downstairs, smiling politely. "He's on his way". He said simply, sitting down on one of the armchairs patiently for Gintoki to finish getting ready. "So, er, what are you guys talking about?" 

"Hijikata-san won't admit that Gin-chan is special to him and that they're super lovey-dovey because of it". 

"Who the hell said anything about being lovey-dovey?!" 

"Pssh, c'mon, Mayora. If he's not special to you, then why would you date eachother in the first place? If you're really not interested in other guys, then what's the point in going out if it's not under special circumstances? Honestly, adults are stubborn idiots".

"That's...!" 

"Kagura, don't bother Hijikata-san about it. Let's just leave it be". 

"Says the single virgin".

"What has that got to do with anything?! Why the hell does me being a virgin have to do with Gin-san and Hijikata-san's relationship?!" 

"Nothin', just thought I'd remind you every once in a while". 

"That pisses me off! I'm only sixteen! I'll find someone, and you'll see!" 

"Oi, will you two brats pipe down? You're making Hijikata uncomfortable-after I told you to behave yourselves". 

All eyes darted towards the staircase, where Gintoki was heading downstairs. Hijikata stood up, looking over Gintoki and his choice of clothes in astonishment. He was wearing something other than his usual loose tee-shirt and pants. He wore an expensive-looking v-neck sweater that presented his physique quite well. The pants didn't look cheap either. It was the first time any of them had seen a fashionable Gin-san. He didn't throw those clothes on without thought, that was for sure. 

"Uh, hey...". Hijikara greeted him, unable to look away for a moment. "You-ahem...Er, you look...". He felt a little awkward telling Gintoki that he looked handsome in front of the two brats, thus he stopped speaking for a second and averted his gaze away from Gintoki and the kids shyly. "You look...great. Really...great".

"Hah? What's that all about? Have you gone soft on me already?" 

"Ah...Shut up". 

Hijikata stared at Gintoki from head to toe, observing every little unusual detail. Gintoki, of course, looked puzzled but approuched Hijikata openly, as a way to put a stop to the awkward staring. 

"You don't look so bad yourself, and I'm not afraid to admit that in front of these two". Gintoki pointed to Shinpachi and Kagura subtly with his thumb, although he received no reaction from them. "Actually, you look quite handsome. I'm getting all flustered now". Of course, he wasn't actually. It was simply a sly comment to catch Hijikata off guard, which it did. 

Gintoki was more open when expressing his thoughts on Hijikata's current appearance. A blush crossed his cheeks at the compliment, but also because he was unable to come put with whatever he was going to say. He saw no harm in trying again, but felt a little uncomfortable saying it in front of the two brats, who, by the way, were staring intently at the scene with different expressions. Kagura was practically glaring at Hijikata, sticking her thumb up in encouragement the moment he glanced over. And Shinpachi was a little more withdrawn, embarrassed to see two guys who he knew quite well flirting with eachother so awkwardly. Not that he had a problem with it, he was simply a little shy to look directly at them. 

"Uh-ahem-um, are we...ready to go?" Hijikata asked, clearing his throat to keep his voice from cracking. 

"Sure, if you're ready. Like I said: be good, you two. Kagura, I'll see you in the morning". 

"Okay, Gin-chan. Have fun playin' in and out". 

"Kagura, girls shouldn't say things like that". Hearing Kagura say those things so casually only left Shinpachi feeling more awkward, naturzally. 

Gintoki rolled his eyes, leading the way to the front door. The two slipped on their shoes, putting on light coats to avoid the cold of autumn. Yes, it was already autumn and the weather had gotten quite chilly already. Gintoki said his goodbyes to the kids and Sadaharu as he rushed to the door for a quick petting. Gintoki did so before finally taking his leave with Hijikata at his side. They headed for the elevator, a new conversation passing off now that they were alone. 

"So, where are we going?' Hijikata finally asked, doing the honours to press the elevator button to take them down to the ground floor. 

"You'll see. It's a nice restaurant in town, a little ways from the hotel. We'll go there, have a nice, romantic dinner and then we'll head to the hotel-a nice change of scenery". 

"I still think that we could have stayed at my apartment if those brats were staying at yours". 

"Hey, it's nice to go out and spoil ourselves occassionally. This is like a proper date, isn't it? Besides, I wanted to spoil you a little tonight, seeing as you've been working hard all week". 

"Don't call it that". 

"But I like spoiling you a little. This is a rare occassion, so let's have fun and let loose tonight okay? The place we're going to is great, but it's not too formal. We can relax, drink some good booze, eat good food and go to a nice hotel for the night. The most formal thing you have to do is use a knife and fork. That's it". 

"If you say so...". 

"I know so. Ah, we're taking the scooter too, if ya don't mind". The two exited the elevator, heading straight for the front entrance. "I did say it was in town, so it would suck to have to walk all the way there and then to the hotel". 

"I don't mind. Although I've never ridden a scooter before". 

"It's fine. All you have to do is hang on tight". 

Gintoki led Hijikata to the parking spot, where Gintoki's scooter sat. He got on, and Hijikata joined him at the back. They were quite close to eachother, although the position was natural for this type of vehicle. A spare helmet was given to Hijikata right after Gintoki put on his own, along with a pair of riding goggles. 

"Hang onto me, okay?" Gintoki pulled Hijikata's arms up, wrapping them around his waist until Hijikata took the hint and held on for himself. By doing so, his chest was pressed up against Gintoki's back in an unusually comfortable position. "You good?" He asked, receiving a brief nod. "Cool. Hang on nice and tight so you don't fall off and die". 

"That isn't reassuring at all, you bastard". 

"Here we go". 

Gintoki started up the engine and, unexpectedly, the scooter just went flying. Gintoki was used to it, but Hijikata faltered a little by the sudden speed that flew onto the road and between traffic. He gripped on tighter to Gintoki's waist until his fingers dug into his clothing. Gintoki smirked a little. Hijikata wasn't the clingy type, but this was too adorable. Not like he had any other choice but to cling on, otherwise he would risk falling onto the road and cracking his skull in the process. The scooter slowed down once they were on the road, although Hijikata's heart didn't stop racing. He wasn't used to the wind rushing through his hair or this shaky feeling coursing through his arms and legs like jelly. He clung on unconsciously with his heart pounding heavily against both his chest and Gintoki's broad back. 

"You alright back there...?!" Gintoki called out, having to raise his voice due to the sound of rushing traffic around them and the thick breeze muffling their voices and hearing ever so slightly. 

"Y-yeah! I think so...!" 

"I want let you fall off, you know! It doesn't matter what embarrassing position you're in, as long as you're safe...!" 

"I-I'm not embarrassed! A little uncomfortable-but not embarrassed!" 

"Hah...Sure you're not". 

"What was that?!" 

"Nothing! Nothing at all...!"

The chill in the air rushed pass through the breeze and the sound of traffic rung out in their ears. But all of Hijikata's senses, at this moment, in an almost unconscious state of mind, were focused on Gintoki. Despite the cold, Gintoki's body felt warm. Despite the noise of traffic, Hijikata could practically hear the thumping of his heartbeat against Gintoki's back. His vision focused squarely on Gintoki natural-permed hair under the helmet as it flicked and swayed in the wind like silver flames. From such a close distance from eachother, Hijikata could smell into Gintoki's clothes. He smelled warm and sweet, with a slight hint of deodorant lingering on his body. None of these things passed Hijikata intentionally. The situation forced his senses to focus on Gintoki, if only for this trip. It didn't last too long either as they reached the town, populated by those who prefered to live a night life. But where they headed was a little different from kabuki or any night district for that matter. Gintoki hadn't visited this place often but he did well to remember it from the first time he ever set foot in such a town, but he felt more comfortable this time although he knew he was still a little out of place. 

... 

After parking the scooter, allowing Hijikata time to find his bearings, the two headed into a rather elegant-looking restaurant. The interior had dark, hardwood floors and red walls with a few neatly displayed tables within. There were more candles to light the room rather than gaudy, cieling lights. There was an upstairs, too. Through the small gap, as far as Hijikata could see, there were more tables upstairs. They stood at reception, greeted by a man who appeared to be in his thirties. 

"Welcome, gentlemen. Do you have a reservation with us already?" 

"Yeah. Reservation under Sakata". 

"Okay, then, sir. Right this way, I'll take you to your table. Ah, if you'd allow me to take your coats as well...". 

Gintoki removed his coat first, although Hijikata hesiated for a moment before removing his too. The man gladly took them before leading them upstairs, to the next floor of the restaurant. They were taken to a balcony; which appeared to be a more private setting, with fewer tables. They took their seats and were asked what they would like to drink. 

"We'll have a serving of sake". Gintoki requested quite casually. 

"Okay, thank you very much. I'll return with your drinks soon. Please, have a look at the menu and enjoy yourselves". 

"Thanks...". 

"Ah, thank you". The man left them alone with a polite bow. Hijikata looked out at the view, towards the scenery of autumn. From where they sat, they could see a different park from the usual one. In short, it was a spectacular landscape before them. "Wow...You can see a big chunk of the city from up here". 

"I know, right?" Gintoki sat back, pleased with himself for introducing Hijikata to such a place. "Granny took me here to celebrate the release of my very first novel. I told her I hafed formal stuff like this and she just said "They don't ask ya to wear a shirt and tie. A sweater his fine, so stop complainin', will ya?" I'm glad she brought me here in the end". 

"It is impressive". 

"Wait until ya try the food. It's nothin' too fancy, but it's certainly not cheap. It's worth it". 

"What made you want to bring me here, of all places? We could have gone anywhere to eat, stayed at any hotel. So why here?" 

"I told ya: I like spoiling you a little. It's nice to go somewhere special every once in a while. Plus, they have some amazing desserts here and some good alcohol. We can have a bit of privacy tonight and relax". 

"...Alright. Yeah, let's just enjoy tonight". 

"Atta boy. Take it all in. Who know, if ya like it here, we could go again". 

"I'd like that". 

Neither of them were used to formal atmospheres, but this place spoke out to them as being casual and relaxing, but well-off and highly praised by critics. It gave off a good vibe. And being there, Hijikata felt comfortable with Gintoki. It wasn't liie their usual date, but they weren't exactly out of their comfort zone. It was a nice change and made for a good date. Hijikata had never imagined Gintoki as a person who cared for "special dates". In fact, Hijikata had a strong suspicion that this was the first one Gintoki had ever experienced. But he didn't look anxious or nervous. He was cool and collected as usual, admiring the view from that balcony in a peaceful state of mind. Then, with his gaze drifting, he took a moment to admire Hijikata with a gentle smile. At that, Hijikata felt nervous and looked back out towards the view in earnest that the waiter would return soon to break this silence. 

"Hey, Hijikata, there's no need for you to get so nervous. Here, if it'll make you feel better, you can hold my hand for a bit". 

Gintoki, so smoothly, so subtly, reached his hand out over the table towards Hijikata and waited patiently for him to decide whether to take it or not. Hijikata was reluctant, obviously, considering that they were in public and that Gintoki was being too casual about it. Hijikata couldn't stop himself from looking directly at Gintoki's face, and by doing so Hijikata was once again taken aback by Gintoki's appearance, or simply the way he looked at Hijikata alone. 

Gintoki was a man who enjoyed nurses outfits and short skirts and got the occassional nosebleed from reading dirty magazines. Sadly, Hijikata knew this and he had no choice but to accept it by now. However, when it came to Hijikata, Gintoki looked at him different. Of course he would try pulling out perverse things in the bedroom such as lewd suggestions: bondage, costumes and roleplaying. But they had mostly been established as jokes since Gintoki had the money to purchase those things and tease Hijikata constantly about the idea of tying him up and teasing him in a more physical way. However the expression Gintoki was making now was sincere and something of a rare sight to anyone who knew Gintoki. He did suit his usual goofy, sadistic or plain idiotic face best but even this; a gentle smile and kind, earnest eyes that held a lot of promise that Gintoki was a gentleman deep down, a charming man who enjoyed spending great deals of time with Hijikata since they began dating, roughly five months ago. Oh so casually, Gintoki had propped up his elbow on the table, resting his chin on his palm as he gave Hijikata a gentle stare. His other hand was laid out on the table, waiting to be held if Hijikata really wanted to. Would Gintoki have offered this to anyone else? Probably not. 

"Ah...No, that's alright. I'm not really nervous". 

"Sure? You seem a little shaken up and bashful. Although, to be honest, you are pretry cute like that". 

"Do you really have no shame at all?" 

"Nope. Shame is one of the biggest obstacles of fun. Without shame, human beings could live life without fear of embarrassment and shoot for the stars". 

"How the hell is calling me weird things refered to as "shooting for the stars"? Are you an idiot?" 

"Idiocy can come with a lot of backbone, y'know. The most shameless people are the biggest idiots". 

"What sort of life lesson is that?" 

"If I wasn't an idiot, do you think I would be dating you, even if I'm not attracted to men? It took a lotta guts for me to even admit that I liked you, and look where we are now. We're two happy idiots on a ro-man-tic date. Ain't that right?" 

"Don't lump me together with you as an idiot...But, yeah, to a certain extent you are right. I've shed a lot of shame from dating you, which I guess does make me an idiot in the end". Hijikata sighed upon accepting that harsh fact. 

"See? It's not so bad, though, is it?" 

"...No, not really". 

Hijikata allowed a smile to curve on his lips, just this once today. To be labeled and idiot, along with Gintoki...This relationship was beginning to reach new heights, of idiocy and shamelessness. 

... 

The keypad clicked once the card was swiped swiftly, naturally, as if Gintoki was used to using these things for hotel rooms. They had reached their hotel room; a nice, luxurious love hotel with spacious rooms, spacious beds and spacious T.V screens that captured even the smallest details in high definition. They had taken their dessers to go from the restaurant, making a place for them in the room's mini fridge. Gintoki ad made himseld rather comfortable quickly, although he seemed quite patient from what Hijikata expected. Gintoki knew himself that by the time he had reached a hotel room with a lovely young lady they would immediatly start kissing and fall to the bed in heat. There wasn't this amount of uncomfortability, but patience as well. To be honest, they were more uncomfortable in eachother's presence, within this room and not the room itself. They had noth been in similar rooms, but with another man it felt odd and almost out of place from the norm. 

Hijikata slid his rear onto the bed, watching as Gintoki put their coats away inside the room's closet, which contained a few yukatas in a plain, white colour. He scanned around the room, seeing as the default setting for the lighting was atmospheric and made for a comfortable mood in an uncomfortable situation. They had been intimate before, but in such an unfamiliar place, they were at a loss. 

"Y'know, I might as well be the first one to say it:". Gintoki spoke, turning towards Hijikata from the closet, a nonchalant expression on his face despite the awkwars circumstances. "This is a first for both of us, isn't it? I mean, going to a lovw hotel with another guy". 

"Yeah, you're right. It does feel a little strange". 

"We went to an onsen before-a hotel-and we slept together there. But this kinda place, with another guy, does feel a little odd, huh?" 

Hijikata gave a nod, not knowing what to do here. Gintoki was more determined to get comfortable and cozy with Hijikata. He showed this by sliding his rear onto the bed, sitting quite close to Hijikata with an up-turned smile and a soft expression. 

"Ah, well...It can't be helped". He muttered, reaching over to brush his hand over Hijikata's lap. "Let's start off slow and work our way up, alright? I'll even let ya lead since I did last time". 

Gintoki leaned in, pressing his lips softly to the corner of Hijikata's lips, aiming naroowly to his cheek and jawline with closed eyes. Hijikata wasn't full prepared yet as this unnatural feeling persistently lingered in his mind and at the very pit of his stomach. He wasn't entirely sure what it was, but he felt the need to stall for a short period of time and collect his bearings before anyone else. He didn't know why this was in his head now, but he had to get it off his chest otherwise he would be more reluctant to go through with this tonight. It bugged him, massively. 

"Gi-Gintoki, wait a moment. Wait". He lightly pushed Gintoki away by his shoulders, earning a puzzled look from Gintoki. 

"What's the matter? Gettin' cold feet?" 

"It's not that, I...I guess I just need a moment. I'm not used to these places and it feels a little...y'know...". 

Gintoki let out a sigh through a surprisingly understanding smile. He looked about ready to tousle Hijikata's hair, but didn't. 

"Hey, hey, don't worry 'bout it. If you need a little time to get into a relaxed mood, then I don't mind. I feel like I can take my time with you instead of rushing into something like sex. Make a move on me when you're ready, since you are leading, after all. Don't think I'd say that to just anyone. Not another guy would hear me say that, ya hear?" 

"Ah...". Not another guy, huh? "About that, Gintoki, the, er, China Girl asked about that kinda thing to me earlier tonight. She was wondering if, since we're dating eachother-two men-she wondered if we gained some some of attraction to other men or something. Personally, I'm still not interested in other men. And I know, for a fact, you're not that interested either. Am I right?" 

"Yeah, you're right. But I kinda understand where Kagura's comin' from, thinkin' that you and me have "joined the other team", shall we say, just because we're dating another guy. Anyone would think that. They would assume we're labeled something entirely different from what we previously identified as and think it's weird. But, you wanna hear something, Hijikata? I don't give a fuck about labels anymore". 

"What do you mean?" 

"You know, these days you see young brats go to their friends and say "I identify as this, I identify as that". And I think it's a load of bull. People use labels for those things, and then words like "gay" become insults or is immediatly a label used for people to treat you differently. But why should we care? In the end, aren't we all human beings with personal preferences on relationships, or anything in general? Either someone likes one thing, another, or both, or maybe neither. But to put a label on is what keeps us in catergories. Humans are humans, we're all different, and we don't need to put a stamp on it. The sooner humans learn that, we can finally take a step to world peace no matter how far away that may be. The only label humans should have in the end, each and every one of us, is "individual". Nothing more". 

"...". Despite the ordinary cycle of idiocy in Gintoki's words and actions, there lay some truth as well. He could open a lot of eyes and minds if he wanted to. Saying that, it made Gintoki almost sound like a teacher. 

"Me; I like women in nurse outfits, Ketsuno Ana and sweets. But none of that should label me as being a "Straight, sugar-freak". Because you wanna know what else I like?" Gintoki grasped Hijikata's chin between his fingers, meeting his eyes in the middle. "I like Hijikata". He whispered, sending a rippled of goosebumps across Hijikata's back. "I like this face, because it's yours. I like this body, because it's yours. I like these hands and muscles...I like your eyes, your v-shaped hair, your serious side, your cute side, your caring side and your intelligent side because they're all yours, and no one else's, Hijikata. Got it?" 

"Yeah, I do. I guess I could say the same about you, Gintoki". 

Hijikata took a hold of Gintoki's hand, leading it away from his chin-but to his lips instead. Hijikata kissed Gintoki's fingers and knuckles, his cheeks glowing red in the dim, mood-making light of the room. They moved in, nice and easy, with Hijikata taking the lead. His arm wrapped around Gintoki's slim waist, running his other hand through the back of Gintoki's hair in order to bring him closer for a kiss. Gintoki grasped Hijikata's shoulders, sliding them around his neck in order to bring him closer, too. In the center of their kiss, heated gasps escaping though patred lips, their tongues brushed together before connecting, before pressing together inside Gintoki's mouth; this being of his own volition as he allowed Hijikata to lead confidentally and even smoothly. The softness of Hijikata's lips, along with the firmness of his tongue, was all to irresistable to Gintoki as he acknowledged these sensations and the source being Hijikata. He acknowledged that Hijikata was the one who provide such immense pleasure in such a simple kiss, who made his heart race liie this, and vise versa. At this point, was their gender or original sexual orientation worth bringing up anymore? The answer to that was clear. Very much so... 

... 

"Hah! Haa! Ahn! Uwah! Hah! Hiji-ee-aah!" 

Gintoki was gripping onto the sheets tighty, receiving all his pleasure from the side while Hijikata held hs leg out of the way and lost all control in their intimate activity. A thick string of drool was flooding from the corner of Gintoki's mouth, running down his chin as he lost the ability to hold back his voice. It was incredibly intense and overwhelming with pleasure. So much so that it was almost unbearable for them both. 

"Haah, ahh...Gintoki...Gintoki...!" 

"A-agh! N-nn! Mnh! Hah! Haa! A-ahn! Aghh! Hijikata! Hijika-ah! D-deep...! It's so...deep! I'm not gonna...l-la-ah! Last m-much lo-oh! Longer! Hijikata! Hijikata~!" 

"Me neither...Gintoki....Ah, haa...Gintoki-eeyah...!" 

"A-aah! Uwaaah!-Yaaaahh!" 

The peak was as intense as the rest, this satsifying, engrossing feeling leaving them both dazed and happy as the heat and excitement had finally died down. They panted heavily, barely able to move while they were in such a messed-up state. But they couldn't stay that way, thus Hijikata pulled out and caught his breath. Still dazed and dizzy, he lay down quietly beside Gintoki, right in front of him to brush away the loose strands of natural permed hair that stuck to his forehead. They were hot and sweaty, and had made the right choice to strip completely and take a bath later. 

"You okay? You're face is all red...". Hijikata's knuckles lightly met the red stain across Gintoki's cheek, feeling the immense heat radiate through it. His hand was swatted away almost immediatly. 

"So is your face, idiot...Man...That felt awesome". Gintoki rolled on his back, eye closed in bliss. He was pretty much clean at the back, due to the use of protection, aside from his own mess that leaked out. "Hooh...". 

"Oi, don't rest for too long. We have to go clean up and get some sleep". 

"Mmng...Okay. Will hou carry me to the bathroom? I feel like I'm gonna pass out". 

"Then pass out, you idiot. Or carry yourself. I'm just as exhausted as you are". 

"Haha, meanie...But, fine. Gimme a sec' to catch my breath". 

Gintoki had kept his eyes closed, as if he was prepared to sleep completely naked. It was autumn, thus he was at risk of catching a cold if he slept while being so exposed. 

"Hey, you can catxh your breath, but don't fall asleep like that. Gintoki...?" 

Soft snoring emitted through parted lips, Gintoki's chest rising and falling slowly as he had drifted off into a peaceful slumber. Hijikata had no choice but to leave him for now, seeing as he did look quite peaceful. Just for a little while... 

... 

A light fog of steam drifted out from within the bathroom, the faint whiff of peach-scented shampoo following. Hijikata stepped out lastly, wearing a soft yukata that fit perfectly around his tired body. Gintoki slouched comfortably on the bed, the pillows up-right for him to lean on, with the T.V remote in hand as he flicked through channels. His packaged dessert from the hotel was displayed on his lap, put on a plate provided by the hotel with a drink of sweetened tea on the bedside table. With a towel still around his neck to dry his hair, Hijikata made himself comfortable on the other side of the bed with his own brand of tea beside him. Gintoki seemed to have more energy now that he had bathed, eaten something sweet and drank some tea to cool off.

From the looks of things, Gintoki had ceased browsing channels when coming across a broadcast dedicated entirely to the entertainment industry. Something had caught his eye, yet he glared at the screen with disdain. It depicted an interview on a late-night show, a re-cap from a few months ago during the current broadcast. In this interview, from mere months ago, was the interviewer, Ketsuno Ana, and Kintoki Sakata. Upon recognising him did Hijikata fully understand Gintoki's silent disdain. 

["So, Kintoki-san...Er, may I call you that?"] 

["You may call me whatever you wish, Ketsuno-chan"]. There were several "oooh's" from the audience, and some sheepish giggling from Ketsuno Ana herself. 

["Ahaha, okay, okay...Uhm, well, I know this is a little off topic, but I'm sure the viewers are curious about your upcoming drama series, to be aired in September. Can you reveal anything to us about that?"] 

["Ahh, dear viewers, Ketsuno-chan, I must apologise but, sadly, I won't be talking about the new drama until after the pilot is aired as there are still many preparations to go through. I hope you all understand"]. 

["Awh, that's a shame. But, even so, we are very excited to see what the studio has in store for us. You can at least tell us that you'll definitely be the main character of this series?"] 

"Haha, well...I'd be lying if I said I wasn't. It's a pleasure to do so"]. 

["Alright...Wow...What about directions? Are you in charge again?"] 

["Not this time. I have entrusted the work to a very dear friend of mine, and I know she will make this an excellent production. After all, the actors aren't the only ones working hard. I believe it is important to remember those working behind the scenes for any piece of work"]. The audience began clapping for those words, only raising Gintoki's irritation. 

"That bastard...". Gintoki murmered. "How the hell does a guy like that earn so much attention so quickly? Is it 'cause of his straight, golden locks and sparking, blue eyes? That technically makes him a blonde, dammit. He's not that unique". 

Gintoki had always seemed quite envious of Kintoki Sakata, but this wasn't the case. It only appeared this way as Gintoki looked down on him from behind the television screen. Gintoki always focused on his own work and his own goals with no desire to surpass anyone else in any other media. So his reasoning for hating Kintoki Sakata-the real reason-was unclear. Perhaps he simply disliked flashy people, as well as stuck-up rich kids and culture festivals. Yes, by now, Hijikata was full aware of these from listening to Gintoki for five months, and even before that when they used to argue a lot more than they do now. 

"Most of his "dramas" are fuckin' chick flicks and he's about as fake as a girl who wears too much make-up: there's nothing natural about him. Has anyone ever seen that guy talk about his pet peeves, fears or whatever? No, 'cause the guy's like a robot or something, designed specifically to earn praise and adoration from teenage girls and middle-age moms". 

"I don't really know the details about this myself, but it can't be that bad, can it?" 

"Trust me, Hijikata, it is. He pretends to be caring for his fans, but all he really craves is attention. He wants to be noticed and recognised, since he knows he's a good-looking guy but he's probably aware that the dramas and movies he stars in are cliche pieces of trash". 

"That's harsh...". Hijikata smirked a little, seeing how serious Gintoki was about this, as he placed a cigarette between his lips. 

"One thing you should known about me, Hijikata, is that I tell the absolute truth when it matters. I'll tell that show-off what I really think when the time comes". 

"You do that. While you come up with a plan for that, I'm gonna have a cigarette and go to bed. Feel free to go to bed, too. I know you're pretty tired". 

"I am. You really did a number on me back there, so much so that I'm still a little shaken up from it". 

Hijikata lay down on the bed, retracting his cigarette from his lips to let a cloud of smoke escape. Gintoki munched on his dessert, licking the cream from his fork, with his eyes still affixed to the T.V, although by now he was more focused on Ketsuno Ana than the interview itself. 

"Y'know, if you and I weren't dating, I would have gone for it". 

"Gone for what?" 

"Ketsuno Ana". 

"Sure you would...". 

"What, you don't believe me?" 

"No, no. I believe you woulda gone for her...autograph". 

"Bastard! I could charm a wonderful woman like her! I'd convince her parents to let me into the Ana family!" 

"Sure...Riiight". 

"If I wasn't dating you, I'd go for it. But...since I am dating you, I think...I think I'll just aim for a mutal friendship". 

Hijikata looked up at Gintoki, noticing that his expression was quite serious. Hijikata's eyes drifted back the T.V, the entertainment news now being broadcast live to talk about all sorts of boring gossip and information of the like. He wasn't that interested in it, of course. But Gintoki's words led him to watch the reported Ketsuno Ana intently, for a moment. 

"Sounds more believable...". He muttered, sliding his arm under his head as he finished off his cigarette. 

He crushed the remaining cigarette against the bottom of the ashtray, positioned on the bedside table. He then adjusted himself as to go bed already. Sitting up, Hijikata pulled his side of the duvet over his body as he lay down, turning on his side, facing away from Gintoki. 

"Going to bed already?" 

"Yep...". 

"Fine, better let ya sleep then". Gintoki turned off the T.V and set his empty plate aside as he, too, got into position to sleep. The sheets rustled and shifted behind Hijikata until he could sense Gintoki's presence, his body quite close to Hijikata's back. "He, Hijikata". He muttered. "Wanna be the big spoon tonight?" 

Hijikata sighed, sitting up only to turn around and give Gintoki what he wanted. Enthusiastically, Gintoki turned on his other side and waited for Hijikata to get into position. They cuddled closely, with Hijikata's chest, once again, leaning against Gintoki's back. Only this time, Hijikata was in a more dominant position. He swerved one arm underneath Gintoki's waist, while the other pulled him and reached for his hand. Warmth spread across their bodies, their legs entagled together with their toes curling from this secure and safe feeling. Hijikata thread his fingers over Gintoki's and, through the darkness, Gintoki stared at their intertwind fingers with a smile. The faint smell of cigarettes hung in the air, as well as the sweet smell of peach-scented shampoo. Brushing his nose into natural-permed, silver locks, Hijikata could faintly smell the shampoo. Still wet... 

"Comfty...?" Hijikata whispered in question, brushing his lips over Gintoki's nape, unconsciously as the scent of his hair left him in a blissful daze. 

"Mm-hm. You know, I think you have gone soft on me, Hijikata". Gintoki was also whispering, a natural thing to do in a dark, seemingly isolated, place. 

"You're deluding yourself. Now get to sleep". 

"So mean...But, lemme tell ya: I can't help but go a little soft, in a situation like this when I feel so comfortable around you. Letting your guard down like this, must mean you really like me, huh? A guy like you...won't let anyone see your soft side unless you really, really like them, am I right?" 

"...". 

"Oi, I know you're not asleep. But, you know what, it's okay 'cause...I'm the same as you. Do you think I'd let anyone else see me like this?" 

"...! Wait...Ginto-...". 

Hijikata could hear the soft snores again, a convenient way for Gintoki to sneak his way out of this discussion that he, himself, started. That was shockingly fast, too. Hijikata relaxed a little more, settling in for the night. It was true that they both didn't let their guard down easily, but for them to act so comfortably when alone together...It was likely that what the China Girl said was true. Gintoki, in a weird way, was somewhat special to Hijikata. He used terms like "in a weird way" and "somewhat" to soften the blow of saying so casually "he's special to me". The thought alonr made his heart skip a beat, and this self-conscious feeling would arise out of the blue to falter his confidence. He wasn't sure if the word "special" was the right one, but he could be sure that Gintoki wasn't just anybody. Over the past few months, that was at least clear. He wasn't just anybody. That could be said with some level of confidence, from either of them. 

... 

... 

The morning was shinijg brightly for Kintoki, as it usually did when basking in his success. That feeling lingered often. If he spoke about it as often as he thought about it, perhaps quite a few people would quickly get annoyed and he wouldn't be as popular as he was. On that morning, a week before the new shoot for the new drama series, he was called in by the higher-ups such as the director and the producer and some other staff members. They never explained in full detail about why he was being called to their office, via e-mail, but he could only imahind that it was about the new series since it had been a popular topic in the studio. 

Kintoki gave an announcing knock at the producer's door, and was called in immediatly. 

"Sakata-san, glad you could make it". 

Kintoki was taken aback when seeing the vast majority of important staff members crowded around within the office; the producer, director, the script writer for the drama and a few that worked behind the scenes. 

"Uh, what's all this?" Kintoki asked, feeling a little over-whelmed by the unexpected amount of staff members. "If you called this many people, Fumihiko, then this must be important. I have all the time in the world until the shoot, so you might as well give me the news without hesitation". 

Kintoki made himself comfortable on one of the lounge seats, sitting back patiently. 

"Good to see you're in such high spirits". Fumihiko, the producer, was a stern woman who wasn't one to beat around the bush. Kintoki had worked well with her for the past few years and knew her quitw well. Whethee it was good news or bad news, her straight expression never wavered and there was always an opportunity to push up those designer glasses of hers. "Sakata-san, we'd like to discuss a few ideas for the upcoming drama. As you may know, nothing is completely set in stone as we're still setting up story plots and character development". 

"Yes, I understand that much. But if you weren't fully prepared then maybe the drama shouldn't have been announced for September. I doubt fans will accept the series going on an immediate hiatus because the studio wasn't fully prepared with scripts". 

"Hmph...". Fumihiko scoffed, pushing up her glasses. "No need to worry too much. Shiomi-san is very willing to write as many scipts as it takes, having the time and money to do so. Right, Shiomi-san?" 

"Ah, yes...". Ran Shiomi was the chosen script writer for this series in particular. Her personality was that of a timid woman with a lot of hidden potential and talent when it came to scripts. But her confidence lacked in some cases. 

"She had a few ideas for some future episodes, and would like to share them with you. We've talked it over several times with her already and have arrived at a mutal agreement. We would like to hear your opinions also, Sakata-san". 

Kintoki shrugged, also smiled sincerely at their request. 

"Why of course. I'm always open to ideas and requests, especially from such a talented young writer; such as yourself, Ran-chan". Kintoki shot a look towards Shiomi with a glint in his eyes and a charming smile on his face. She felt flustered, averting her eyes while she shuffled through her notes. 

"A-ah...Um, well...P-please, Sakata-senpai, hear me out, because I think this will appeal to a wider audience. I talked it over many times with Fumihiko-senpai and the director, Oichi-kun. We won't force this idea into the production if you do not wish, but...R-recently, there have been a lot more open-minded people when it comes to the media. Japan is full of open-minded people, especially when it comes to relationships. And w-we, at the studio, think that it would be a good idea for the main character of the drama to...experience something like...well...". 

"We think that the main character of the new series should have a homosexual experience, is what Shiomi is trying to say". Fumihiko finished abruptly, bluntly, with no shame as she retracted a cigarette from a pack. 

"A-ah, yes, something like that". 

Everyone waited patiently for Kintoki's response. He was speechless, but held together a collected expression. Behind that, he was puzzled and astonished, at a loss for words due to this sudden suggestion that came out of nowhere. 

"...Pardon?" Was his only response after several seconds. 

"Listen, Sakata-san". Fumihiko threw her pack of cigarettes down on the coffee table, blowing out a puff of smoke before explaining the situation thoroughly. "Same sex relationships used to be seen as taboo and odd. But nowadays its accepted by many and the opinions of the opposing side are shut down in an instant by more open-minded and even intelligent people. Lately, in the media, mostly in the west, there are plenty of soap operas and dramas that introduce lesbian or homosexual characters, and it appeals to more people whether they share the same sexual orintation or not. Equality is important. Hell, I'll tell you right now that we have a few staff members here at the studio who are gay or lesbian and they're good people. I've seen you speak to them on several occassions". 

"Oh, so because of this, you think we should jump on the banwagon to boost ratings of the bat, is that it? Fumihiko, I'm all for same sex relationship and such, but how do you expect me to be comfortable in that position when I'm so used to working with women?" 

"We don't, that's why we asked for your opinion on the matter. Besides, you're a professional, aren't you? There are plenty of actors and actress' who play a character with a particular sexuality, but are, in reality, the total opposite. We wouldn't ask you to do anything you're umcomfortable with, we are only asking you if you're up to the challenge. See, a monthly magazine was released about a week ago from Nihon Bungeisha, and one of their best writers wrote two short stories on two different same sex relationships. Here, have a look". 

Fumihiko picked up the magazine from a pile on the end table, throwing it down on the coffee table that lay before Kintoki. He picked up the magainze hesitantly, flicking through the pages. 

"It's on page twelve. For a writer that focus' on fantasy novels and opposite sex relationships, we found that they never put a label on definite sexuality and we discovered that this article in particular became very popular in the span of a few days. You must have heard of them: "Gin", the best-seller and one of Nihon Bungeisha's top novelists. Nobody knows their true identity or gender, and with this article it's difficult to pin-point any real information. Especially with that quote at the bottom of the page...". 

Kintoki skimmed through the two stories, shocked that Gintoki-also known as "Gin"-wrote this. He couldn't believe his eyes. And at the cery bottom of the two stories, it read: "This is not my life, but simply reality". In italic lettering. 

"They seem to be very understanding of this topic, although they clarify that it's not their own experiences that brought on those stories". Oichi, the director spoke up, his arms folded. "Shows that they really care through the style of writing, the characters and the stories themselves. If a writer like "Gin" could do this, if many heterosexual actors can star as gay or lesbian characters, then why can't you Kintoki-san?" 

This was fristrating, but Kintoki refused to show it on his face. He acted calmly in front of his co-workers. He threw the magazine back down onto the coffee table, leaning back as he wore a smile. If Gintoki could do this...If he could do this... 

"I'll give it some thought. You said that it would be for future episodes, didn't you? Then I'll assume I'll have plenty of time to consider this plot development". 

"Take as much time as you see fit, and get back to us when you've come to a decision". Fumihiko crushed her cigarette into an ashtray, sighing the last puff of smoke into the air. "Just don't stall for too long, otherwise we'll know that you're definitely uncomfortable with the idea. It's fine either way, we have no right to judge your decision". 

"Thank you, everyone. I will think this over as many times as it takes until I reach a decision. For now...". Kintoki stood up, heading for the office's door. "You'll have to excuse me. I have to meet someone for coffee, and I don't want to keep them waiting. Good work, everyone. Keep it up". 

Kintoki made his exit, taking a breath once he was alone in the hallway. He didn't have a meeting for coffee, not to be exact. He simply had to pay a surprise visit to aparticular individual for some questions. Kintoki never thought he would do this, but needs must. He had to be discreet about this role offer, otherwise he would land himself in a humiliating position. Damn that Gintoki...Just what was he playing at...Kintoki was up for any given challenge. Anything. But this...This may have been beyond his reach, as much as he hated to admit it. 

... 

Hijikata curiously flipped through the pages of Nihon Bungeisha's monthly magazine, still wearing his yukata from last night. The sun poured through the windows, although not in a blinding way. It was a calm sunlight with fair weather for a morning in autumn. A chill dwelled in the air, especially the draft coming from the room's door as Gintoki picked up room service. 

"Thanks very much". 

He thanked the hotel staff member, who gave a bow before leaving them to their privacy, and breakfast. Gintoki brought the tray over to the set of drawers in front of the T.V, which held the flatscreen. On the menu, as ordered, was pancakes and a pot of coffee. A sweet little display of fresh flowers was placed on the tray, wrapped up in a clear, white napkin with the hotels signature engraved on it. Gintoki had specifically ordered strawberries and cream pancakes, with shredded white chocolate, and Hijikata had ordered pancakes with an array of berries and strawberry syrup, soon to be covered in mayonnaise. 

"Oi, Hijikata, come get breakfast before it gets cold. You've got work today, haven't you?" 

"Yeah, I'm just finishing reading this article". 

"Article...?" Gintoki looked over to the front cover of the magazine Hijikata was reading, seeing that it was the monthly magazine issued from the publishing company. "Where'd you get that?" 

"Found it. It was in a collection of old magazines by the bed. Someone must have brought it here with them". 

Picking up his own plate of pancakes, with the provided fork clamped between his teeth, Gintoki sat on the bed with Hijikata and peered over his shoulder curiously before rolling his eyes and giving the article itself the cold shoulder. It was his article from last week. 

"Ah, that article. Honestly...It isn't that good. I only expressed my new-found opinions through fiction. Gimme a break Hijikata, or you'll embarrass me". Gintoki sounded careless, switching on the T.V in an instant without his face flushing in his so-called "embarrassment". In other words, he didn't really care that Hijikata was looking through it. It was just his stories, after all. 

"I like it. Never knew you were so passionate about this sorta thing". Hijikata took the opportunity to poke at Gintoki for the stories that he wrote, one being on a lesbian couple while the other was a gay couple, both short stories filled with emotion and struggles of said relationships. 

"I'm not that passionate-at least, I wouldn't say that. I understand it a little better and I turned it into a story. Big whoop". 

"It sounds passionate. I like the quote at the end: "This isn't my life, it's simply reality". Seems like you understand it more than you're letting on. Would you say you empathise with these people?" 

"Nah, not really. I understand the issue, but I like women and Hijikata-kun. There's no label on it or anythin'. Didn't I tell ya this last night?" 

"You did...Well, anyway, I think it's a good story. Could appeal to a lot of people with the same struggles like coming out or with being accepted". Hijikata stood up from the bed, grabbing his breakfast and a cup of coffee before heading back to the bed. He placed the coffee down the bedside table, lifting his legs up onto the bed and leaning his back against the headboard. He brought a bottle of mayonnaise from the drawer beside him, squeezing it over the small pile of pancakes. 

"Sounds like you're more empathetic than I am". 

"I'm not empathising with them either. By now, this issue is common knowledge, right? People with a certain sexuality always have trouble coming out and admitting who they really are to others. These days, it's known by a lot of people". 

"True...I mean, you and I didn't come out about anything. We told a few people that we were goin' out and that was it, since we still like women over men". 

"Exactly. Still, it was very awkward and even a little embarrassing, wouldn't you say?" 

"Don't remind me". 

Gintoki was already halfway through breakfast, his eyes glued to the morning weather forecast with Ketsuno Ana being...Ketsuno Ana. Hijikata peered over towards Gintoki's meal, a little astonished by how quickly he had gone through it. 

"You fuckin' pig". He muttered, receiving a death glare from Gintoki. 

"Shut up. I'm hungry. I'm even surprised I haven't been put off my food due to that pile o' shit on your plate. Where the hell did the pancakes go?" 

"Why you-...!" 

Before they could even begin to argue, Hijikata's cellphone started to ring. The noise was muffled from under his pants pockets, which had been sprawled out on the floor from the previous night. With a click of his tongue, Hijikata put down his plate and got up to dig around for it in his pockets. He regrettably recalled his pants being tossed on the floor by Gintoki in his excitement, and hoped that his cellphone didn't hold any scratches or cracks from the impact. He dug around in his back pocket, his second attempt, and found what he was looking for. He swiftly answered it as not to keep the person on the line waiting, but a quick glance at the screen reassured him that there was no need to pay for repairs. 

"Hello...?" He answered the call, his eyes flashing with surprise when hearing the person's voice. "Ah. China Girl...". 

Gintoki, upon hearing Kagura's nickname, darted his gaze in Hijikata's general direction with his fork between his lips. Hijikata mumbled something incoherently to Kagura for a moment or two before giving a nod. He walked over to Gintoki, retracting the phone from his ear before offering the device to Gintoki. 

"She wants to speak to you". 

"O-...kay?" Gintoki was a bit confused by these circumstances, but took the cellphone anyway and replied to Kagura's request. "Kagura...?" 

["Hey, Gin-chan"]. She replied, sounding more awake than Gintoki expected. 

"Hey, kiddo. What's up?" 

["I have to give you a message: Tama called and wants you to head over to the office as soon as you can"]. 

"Tama? Why? Did something happen at the office?" 

["She didn't say, she only asked me to get in contact with you and tell you to get your butt to the office. She sounded really worried, though, Gin-chan. Can you go see if things are okay?"] 

"Y-yeah, sure. I'll be there as soon as I can. I'll call you back when I've sorted things out, make sure things are okay". 

["Thanks, Gin-chan. So, whattcha up to? Did ya have fun with the Mayora; kiss~in' and baby mak~in'..."]. 

Gintoki hung up at that, his face showing disdain. Little did he know of Kagura's momentary annoyance and the click of her tongue as she was blatantly ignored. Gintoki, on the other hand, stood up from the bed with intent to get ready as soon as possible and head on over. 

"What's going on?" Hijikata asked, a little concerned himself. "Did something happen to the China Girl?" He kept a cool head and a collected expression but was genuinally concerned. 

"I dunno, but Tama, down at the publishing office, called the apartment and asked me to head over there as soon as possible. It sounds important so I'm gonna head over there now". 

Gintoki opened up the bathroom door, entering and stripping himself of his yukata. With the piece of clothing hanging by his waist, with the support of his wrists, Gintoki tilted his head to look over his shoulder, his expression depicting a suggestive but otherwise innocent look. 

"Wanna join me in the bath?" 

"Haah...Alright. I have to get to work anyway, and it'll save us both the trouble of waiting around" 

Gintoki gave a smile at that. Hijikata entered the bathroom with him, shutting the door behind them. He seemed a lot less bashful to do those sorts of things, as he should be. After so long it's only natural to keep a cool head in these situations, such as sharing the bathtub with the man-or woman-you're dating. For them, it wasn't a big deal at all. 

... 

Gintoki was ready to get back onto his scooter and head to the office as soon as possible. Upon hopping on, Hijikata exited the reception. 

"Oi, Hijikata, want me to drop you off?" 

"Huh? Nah, you go on ahead. I'll get a cab to my apartment and change for work". 

"Come on, it's on the way there anyhow. What, you scared to get back on the scooter?" Those words, and that impish smirk combined, provoked Hijikata. It would be a lot faster, and Hijikata was sold when the word "scared" came into play. 

"I'm not scared. Haah...Fine. I'll get back on, but after that I'll head to work myself and you should head to work yourself to see what's going on over there". 

"Deal. Now hop on". 

Reluctant to "hop on", Hijikata hesitated for a second or two before taking his seat. This was in daylight, so clinging to Gintoki like the previous night was an embarrassing concept. With helmets on, and certainty that Hijikata was hanging on tightly, Gintoki drove off from the hotel and back into traffic. Hijikata hid his face into Gintoki's back, refusing to look up in broad daylight. Thismwas embarrassing, being stuck like this again with his arms holding Gintoki so tightly-only for safety reasons not because ue necessarily wanted to. And Gintoki, being tue sadist that he was, soaked it all up with a crooked smirk across his lips. 

... 

Hijikata was allowed off in front of the apartments, feeling dizzy and a little disoriented. 

"Okay...Uh, I'll call you later. Or, if you'd like, you can call me, Gintoki and tell me if everything's okay over there". 

"I'll do that. Now hurry up and change so that you're not late". 

"I won't be. My shift doesn't start for another hour, but it pays to be a little early. Now you should go". 

"Right. I'll try calling you from the office, and if that doesn't work out then call me when you're free. I don't have any plans after this, so I'll be at the apartment". 

"Okay, see you later". 

"Oh, waitwaitwait!" Gintoki tugged on Hijikata's sleeve, the engine of his scooter still revving up as Gintoki persistently stalled. "Gimme a kiss, stingy. A little "see you later" kiss. I'm sick of good-bye kisses from you". 

"Haa, fine. Make it quick". 

Gintoki pulled Hijikata's wrist, his cheek caressed as Hijikata leaned in. To swiftly prepare, Gintoki hid his smile behind his tongue as he lightly licked his lips. He closed his eyes, his preparations fruitless when he felt Hijikata awkwardly kiss the corner of his lips. It was so casual. Casual enough to be considered a "see you later" kiss, but was a minor disappointment on Gintoki's part as he had always expected more heat. Ah, well...The night had already ended, after all. 

"See ya, Hijikata. Work hard for me, 'kay?" Gintoki winked, his smile never fading before he left the scene on his scooter. Hijikata stood back, watching him drive off into the distance. He let out another sigh, turning around towards the building's entrance. He shook his head to himself, trying to hold back his own smile due to Gintoki's usual behaviour. Was he always like this? The word was on the tip of Hijikata's tongue, but he couldn't say what kind of behaviour this was. Who could? 

... 

Gintoki half-expected to meet Tama at the office's reception, but no dice. She was probably on the usual floor, then: waiting. He headed upstairs via the elevator, waiting impatiently to arrive at his floor. At the sound of the elevator doors opening-the simple "ding" that announced the elevators arrival, Gintoki waisted no time to rush out of there before the doors were even fully open. He hurried to the main office, close to Otose's and stopped at the very sight of Tama's figure standing by the corner wall, the turn leading to the varies desks and cubicles. 

"Tama...". He called out to her clearly, gaining Tama's attention quite quickly. In her surprise, her braid swayed in the air, her eyes growing wide for a second. 

"Gintoki-sama...!" She turned her whole body around in order to face Gintoki. He approuched, placing his hands on Tama's shoulders. 

"Tama, what happened? Is everything alright?" 

"Y-yes, I'm fine but...I must apologise, Gintoki-sama, for inconveniencing you so. I, I was worried and I thought you could provide some assistance". 

"With what? Tell me what's going on". 

Without answering that question, Tama looked back towards the desks and cubicles, as did Gintoki in order to find the answer. His eyes grew wide, a burt of shock piercing his chest in an instant. There, sitting too comfortably at one of the desks, was Kintoki Sakata. He flicked through a book; one of Gintoki's with a devious smirk across his face and calm eyes. Nobody else appeared to be in the office at the time, since most of them started at noon. So it was just Tama here to hold the fort, as a trusted intern. 

"He walked in unannounced and said he wanted to see you, Gintoki-sama. I tried to get him to leave as I could, but...". Tama clenched one hand over the other, trembling a little in her anxiety. "I'm ashamed to say that he was quite intimidating. I stood my ground, yet he still won't leave. I'm very sorry, Gintoki-sama". 

"Why're you apologising? It's this bastard's fault for bardging in uninvited. I swear...For a man to try an intimidate an innocent woman; it's unthinkable. If he doesn't have anything meaningful to say, I'll fet him out even if I have to drag is sorry ass down the staircase". 

"Gintoki-sama...Yes, I understand, and I would not stop you. That man is dangerous, so be careful". 

"Lemme tell you now: all idiots are dangerous. I'm surprised you still stick around me, even when you're aware that I'm an idiot". 

"You're different, Gintoki-sama. You're kind. A kind idiot". 

"Hmph. I'll keep that in mind. Now, if you'll excuse me...Someone's gotta take out the trash. Oi, bastard". Gintoki finally approuched Kintoki, calling out to him firmly. Kintoki raised his attention away from the novel in his hand, shutting it and placing it down on the desk behind him. "Mind tellin' me what you're doin' here, backing a girl like Tama into a corner? I'll fuckin' beat the shit outta you". 

"Gintoki...You finally show up. And there's no need for you to get so aggressive. I was merely requesting to see you, personally. I have some questions to ask you, regarding your work". 

Gintoki groaned in frustrating. He had about enough of this douchebag. 

"If you're here to pick faults, write a review on the fan page, moron. I'm not intersted in listenin' to you yappin' in my ear, gloating about the next chick flick C'mon, spit it out before I toss you outta this office". 

"You are quite aggressive, aren't you? For such a sensitive man....". 

"Sensitive? The hell are you talkin' about?" 

"I read that article of yours from last week. I'm sure you know the one". 

"Geez...So what? You gonna start throwing homophobic slurs at me for writing a couple stories abot same sex relationships? Man, that is low, even for you". 

"No, actually. Gintoki, I am not here to insult you or accuse you of anything. Considering your personality, aside from the sensitive and gentle material in your novels, I can safely say that you're straight. But for you to write an article like this with such understanding...I want to know, how is it that you seem to understsmd topics like these so well? How can you write about such a thing without feeling hesitant or awkward?" 

"...Ah?" The aggression and frustration Gintoki felt before had evaporated into thin air upon hearing those words. "What...Huh? Why do you wanna know that?" 

"...! Well...It's simply curiosity. You've never written anything like this before, as far as I know". 

"...?" How did he...How could he be sure of that? Does this guy even read the stuff that Gintoki publishes? 

"It seems a little odd, that's all". 

"What's this all about? That ain't an excuse. Why do you wanna know about this? It's not like you care about this stuff, right? Or, what, are you-?" 

"Don't get the wrong idea about me. It's simply...It's...Um...". Kintoki was losing his composure as he was now the victim being backed up into a corner by Gintoki. It was an unusual sight, seeing Kintoki in disarray. But, soon enough, he discarded his withdrawn demeanor with a sigh, a method to keep his cool. "Haa...Alright, then. I'll tell you, but I'd much prefer speaking with you privately". Kintoki's gaze drifted more towards Tama, leading Gintoki to look over his shoulder. 

"Tama, is it alright if-...". 

"It's no trouble, Gintoki-sama. I will leave you two alone, but if anything happens...". 

"I'll call for you, alright?" 

Tama gave a nod, a sweet little smile on her lips. She gave a bow-directing it more towards Gintoki rather than Kintoki-before she left them alone. When all was quiet, the two men faced eachother. Gintoki pulled up a chair, leaning back as comfortably as this seat would let him in order to give his full attention to the self-contered idiot who sat in front of him. While Gintoki leaned back idly, picking at his nostril, Kintoki leaned forward on the edge of his seat with a clear expression of sincerity and a great deal of seriousness. 

"So, what did ya wanna talk about that involves the article I wrote? I don't have all day, and you like the sound of your own voice so make it quick so I can go home and relax". 

"Hah, you really do treat me differently from others, don't you?" 

"Around a guy like you, everyone should keeo their guard up. You're manipulative and more cunning that you let on. It's not just brains up there, it's the initiative to take control of people and make them love you like some sorta god-figure". 

"That's quite the observation, Gintoki. But I must ask that you put those observations aside for a few moments. I feel foolish for coming to you in a time of need, but I have to know...Why do you understand topics like this? It seems odd to me, considering your sexuality and preferences". 

"What's this for? Why ask me this? C'mon, you go first and then I'll answer you honestly. If I feel like you're reasoning for asking me something so out-of-the-blue is a waste of time then I'm gonna tell ya shit. Capiche?" 

"Very well. Today, my co-workers at the studio called me in to inform me of a new script idea. By that alone, even you can figure out where this is going. The script writer suggested that the main character should experience a same sex relationship in future episodes". Thus far, Gintoki had a straight expression. He held no urge to laugh or make fun of the concept. Why would he, even if it was Kintoki Sakata? "Of course, I am uncomfortable with the idea but I am an actor-a professional-and I refuse to turn down a challenge as such. Even if it does make me uncomfortable...". 

"If you feel that way, then why not turn it down, you stubborn ass?" 

"...?! What?" Kintoki was angered by that immediate, and rather cold, response. "You think I-a professional actor-am unable to perform a role as such?!" 

"If you're that determined to see it through, then why are you hesitating? If you're uncomfortable, but still wanna see the challenge through, bite your tongue. Do you think I wanna hear you whine about it? Hell no. Why not just bite your tongue and get on with it if you're so professional? You think I didn't feel a little awkward writing such a romantic piece of work? Yeah, it was a little awkward but I bit my tongue because it was something I wanted to do. I stuck it out because I wanted to write it. If you're forcing yourself to do this, without wanting to do it, then you might as well give up. 'Cause you're wasting a lot of time and energy by hesitating for such a long time". 

".......!" Kintoki lowered his head, clenching his fists in his lap. This was frustrating. This was really frustrating...The most frustrating thing. But he wasn't going to "quit". He had to be better than Gintoki. He had to surpass Gintoki's ideas and work. He had to. Those were his frustrated throughts, surpressed under Kintoki's dignity and pride as he raised his head once more. He looked more determined than ever, standing to his feet, glaring daggers at Gintoki. 

"Gintoki, I refuse. Acting is something you put your heart and soul into, no matter the challenge. I will not lose to you for something like this. I will take the next step and rush on ahead, leaving you behind to your silly little fantasy novels. I will see this through, I will gain more experience from this. All I ask...is for your assistance. It sounds absurd, asking you for help when I brag about getting ahead of your work. But, you are the only person I can ask. If you say no, then so be it. I'll find another way to get ahead of you. I always do". 

A smile formed across Gintoki's lips and he could feel the laughter build up from the pit of his stomach. A simple scoff escaped instead as he held back. Fuck it. That's what he thought, deciding to humour Kintoki and his weird request for help. It could be fun. This wasn't a waste of time anymore, but a way to pass time instead. After all, Gintoki was a super sadist who craved a little fun of this calibre. He would have loved to see him beg, but that might have been pushing it. By these thoughts, it was clear how much Gintoki truely disliked a man like Kintoki Sakata. It was like looking into a parallel mirror, his "perfect" reflection staring back at him. A little fun couldn't hurt, and it wasn't as if he planned to lie about anything. He wondered what harm it would do, but failed to come up with anything. He probably would somewhere down the line, but that was a bridge to cross once they reached it.

"Alright, Kintoki, I'll help you out. But don't think I'm doing this outta the kindness of my heart. For one, if I help you, I want you to stop harassing Tama, and anyone else who is close to me". 

"Is that all? Very well...I see no harn in that". 

"Good. And I mean you'd better stop harassing them altogether, because if you don't...". 

"I won't, okay? You have my word, Gintoki, as much as I hate keeping promises to you". 

"Hmph...Well, come on. Let's not stand around much longer. We can head to my place to begin. Hopefully this won't take longer than a day". 

Gintoki made his way back to the elevator, with Kintoki followijg behind him. Upon turning the corner, Tama approuched. She was a little startled, but stepped to the side for Gintoki to walk on. 

"Are you leaving now, Gintoki-sama?" 

"Yeah, I'm throwin' this asshole out now, so there's no need for you to worry anymore". 

"Thank you, Gintoki-sama. Ah, take care on your way home". 

"Thanks, Tama. I'll see ya later". 

As they passed by, Kintoki said nothing to Tama as his tone towards her may have counted as "harassment". She simply and quietly scorned at him before the two men entered the elevator, going down. Gintoki already regretted this decision, partially, as he wasn't sure how to go about this. If he had an exact idea on what the studio expected Kintoki to do, then the task of teaching him how understand these things might have become easier. 

"So, do you know what you're gonna be doing in this new drama? I mean, what kinda stuff will they have you do as a homosexual character?" 

"They sent the details and ideas via e-mail, so I suppose this gives me the chance to gain experience outside of the set". 

That made things easier. The only other question was how Gintoki was going to teach him these things, or at least give him advice. But, right now, a feeling of dread arose in his stomach, like nausea. Almost like sea sickness, the relentless notion that a storm was coming after the calm, harmless atmosphere. And it wasn't too far away, either. 

... 

"Home sweert home". Gintoki entered the apartment first, tossing down his keys to the table that lay beside the door, the usual table where he tossed his keys. 

Kintoki took a look around the interior, baffled to see how nice it was inside. It was spacious, the furniture was picked out thoughtfully and it was surprisingly neat and tidy. Taking off their shoes at the entrance, the two men entered, and Kintoki was told to make himself comfortable-much to Gintoki's dismay. Upon stepping inside, with their shoes and outdoor wear off, Sadaharu came runnijg from the living room area, barking and growling aggressively towards Kintoki. It was quite sudden, leaving Kintoki feeling off guard and even a little irritated. 

"Oi, what's up with you?" Gintoki asked Sadaharu, picking him up off the ground. "Huh? I know he's a prick, but you can be tue better man here, can't you, Sadaharu? Mm?!" Suddenly, Sadaharu began licking Gintoki's face, being so close to him. His hot breath surfaced Ginoki's face, as well as his sloppy tongue. Since when did this dog show Gintoki such affection?! "O-oi! Quit it ya damn mutt! Tue one time you show me affection-and it's now?! Haah...Honestly-gh! Alright, alright, I'm puttin' ya down". 

Gintoki gently lowered Sadaharu down onto the floor, allowing him to wander free for a bit while the small dog stared daggers at Kintoki, baring his fangs. 

"Seems like you're dog doesn't take too kindly to me". 

"Yeah, well, dogs aren't too fond of shitheads. Now let's get this over with". 

Gintoki invited Kintoki to the living room area, where they sat down opposite eachother. Kintoki sat on the sofa, whereas Gintoki took the big, puffy armchair. This felt a little awkward, but considering their relationship they could get through it by acting distant and disdainful instead. 

"The first few scenarios I'll be placed in includes quite basic scenes in romance. A date, hugging, holding hands, confessing my love for them and, most importantly, kissing every once in a while. I have acted such scenes out in both the film set and in real life. But to do this with a man...This is why I need your assistance. I need to get into your shoes, understand what it feels like and what it means. But to go through physical practice...". 

"It is kinda difficult to understand what people of a certain sexuality go through. We're aware of their struggles, but we can't fully empathise with them. From asking quite a few people, I found out it's quite difficult at first. Some people told me that after they realised who they really were and admitted it, they felt quite positive about themselves. They started dating, having relationships and, suddenly, it wasn't so scary or difficult anymore. But for others it's still a challenge". 

"I see. You spoke to people like that?" 

"Yeah, but don't ask me where I got the information...". 

Gintoki did take a few trips, asking varies people at the Okama Club, of all places, as well as a few bars and clubs. Places that he wasn't comfortable in, but dating Hijikata was an eye-opener. For them, they had their ups and downs when it came to establishing a relationship since both Gintoki and Hijikata were originally straight, and still are. Gintoki began to wonder if it was any easier for those who established different sexualities and preferences. It wasn't as easy. If anything, it was a lot more difficult for them. 

"So, where should we start?" Gintoki asked. "Do you have any questions? I can tell you what those people told me, or...hah, who knows, why don't we go on a practice date?" Gintoki humoured the idea, but Kintoki looked quite serious. Kintoki stood up from his chair, approuching Gintoki. 

"Gintoki...As much as I don't want to...". He rested his hands on Gintoki's shoulders to keephim still, earning a puzzled look. "I think...Ugh, I think we should practice the kiss and get it over with". 

"...Eh?...Ehhhhh?!" Gintoki's eyes widened, nearly buldging out of his head before he quickly and forcefully shoved Kintoki away. He stood up too, backing away, only to be chased at a slow and steady speed. "H-h-hold on! No way! No way, no way, nooo waaaay! Like hell am I kissing you! Are you insane?! Have you completely lost your miiind?!" 

"No, just listen. Let me do this so we can get it over with! An actor needs to practice and warm up before a performance by any means necessary! You need experience-and a lot of it! Now get over here and help me out, like you said you would!" 

"I didn't mean it liie thaaat! Get away from me!"

"Hey! Wait a minute!" 

Gintoki was chased around the spacious apartment, trying to avoid being kissed by this psychopath. Was he that desparate? Did he need that much help? Was he, in fact, totally insane for wanting to do this out of the blue? Yes, yes and yes. Definitely. Kintoki didn't give up. He gave chase despite already being denied conscent from Gintoki. If it was for his career, he was prepared to go to any lengths to succeed. And Gintoki was the only one he felt comfortable around to ask for such an odd favour. They did eventually stop after exhausting all their energy on running around the apartment like children. But that didn't stop Gintoki from remaing at arms length away from Kintoki. 

"Gintoki...I need this...I can't ask...anyone else. I have a reputation-a certain image to keep!" 

"Then why are you going for this role in the first place if you have a...haah..."image" to keep. If you really want this, discard that way of thinking and see it through-but don't come to me asking for the impossible, you moron!" 

"It's not impossible! I'm only asking for a kiss! That sounds strange, but I have no one else to practice with! I'm...I'm not...I'm not going to kiss some random man on the street!" 

"Then askone of your friends to help ya out!" 

"...! N-no...". 

"No...?" 

"I don't have any actor friends, so asking them would, er...I don't think they would look at me in the same way". 

Gintoki let out a deep, annoyed sigh. This guy was too difficult. Way too difficult to work with. He was like a spoiled brat asking for the impossible before whining and complaining because he didn't get his way. That's how he was acting, and it pissed Gintoki off. 

"Gintoki, isn't it only natural for someone to feel awkward and uncomfortable in these situations? I think so. But I do want to overcome this, and you are the only person I can ask for help. I've done this sort of thing before, and you seem to have a fair understamding of this stuff, whereas people like my peers may not have a clue. I won't force you to go along with my ideas, if you feel like I'm being so difficult. So, instead...Haah, I'll listen to you, alright? I'll listen to what you have to say if it will be helpful to me". 

"...Fine. But we do things my way, and we take it one step at a time. Don't try to do something like this again without permission. Besides, like I'd ever wanna kiss you. Are you nuts?" 

"Hmph, fine. I don't know what came over me. We'll...take it slowly, then". 

"Good to hear. Now sit yer ass down. Ask me anything you're curious about, and I'll answer them as best as I can". 

... 

Their questioning and answer session took them up to the afternoon, without any physical practice. It was exhausting trying to explain these things in detail without giving some sort of physical demonstration-but they both refused to try that sort of thing with eachother. Kintoki was intelligent, so he picked these things up fairly quickly once they were explained in detail. All he had to do was practice and gain some experience, like he said before, but from who? 

"If you're serious about this, it couldn't hurt to meet a guy and ask for his help. If you ask the right person and explain what you need, they might be nice enough to help. But the likelyhood of that is pretty slim. So, how do you wanna go about this, Kintoki?" 

"I'm not sure. Although I have a fair idea of how I'm going to play this part, I still lack experience and comfortability. Isn't there anyone I can ask to help? Say, someone you know who would be willing to assist me?" 

"Nah, not off the top of my head. All the guys I know are either straight or okama". 

"...?" 

"Don't ask, unless you're interested in spending an evening with a bunch of middle-aged dudes dressed up as drag queens". 

"No, no! I'm not! Let's just think of something else!" 

"Even if you wanted to experience a date with a guy, I don't know anyone who would be willing to go through with that, especially with you". 

"What's that supposed to mean?" 

"Kin-san, hello, you stick out like a sore thumb with those flashy clothes. Any guy would feel ashamed to be walking around with you, acting like a couple". 

"Are you saying that honestly, or because you don't like flashy people like me?" 

"Anyway! I'm sure you'll figure somethin' out...It shouldn't take ya too long to find a suitable candidate". 

Then, at those words, as if on cue, the front door to the aparrtment received a brief knock or two. Gintoki sighed, standing up to answer it. It wouldn't have been Kagura, since she has a right to walk into her own home. Shinpachi was working straight after school, so it couldn't have been him. So the only person it could be ,when narrowing it down, was... 

"Hey, Gintoki'. Hijikata, of course. Upon opening the door, Gintoki waw greeted by that straight expression which, weirdly enough, brought a smile to Gintoki's face. 

"Hey, you. Is that your shift finished already?" 

"Yeah. I took extra hours for today, and my day-off is tomorrow, so-...?" Hijikata peered inside when something-or someone-caught his eye. "Who's that?" 

All eyes were directed towards Kintoki, who stood from his seat and walked towards the front entrance in wonder. He saw Hijikata and gave a faint and fake smile. At least, Gintoki could see that it was fake. 

"Ah, good afternoon. I don't think we've met. You are...?" 

"Uh...Toushiro Hijikata". Hijikata was puzzled by this situation. He recognised the face of Kintoki Sakata quite clearly and couldn't help but wonder why he, the man who Gintoki despised the most, was inside this very apartment. 

"Oh, what a charming name. I'm Kintoki Sakata, it's a pleasure to meet you, Toushiro-san". 

"Ah, just...Hijikata is fine. If you don't mind, I'd appreciate it if you didn't call me by my forename so easily". 

"Even with a honorific? Very well, Hijikata-san. Are you, er..A friend of Gintoki's?" 

"You could say that, yes". 

Gintoki didn't like this aura at all. Kintoki was looking at Hijikata in a weird way and he didn't like it. That smile could only mean trouble. A lot of trouble. 

"Ahh, Kin-san, do you mind if I speak to you privately for a second? Hijikata, you can make yourself at home and I'll kick this guy out in a second, okay?" 

"Okay, sure...Ah, but I should tell you that the China Girl is staying with a friend tonight, so she won't be coming back tonight". 

"Wha-seriously? Geez...She coulda told me. Alright, thanks anyway. Two seconds and I'll be right with you". Hijikata gave a nod, stepping into the apartment and removing his shoes after apologising for the intrusion. 

Gintoki dragged Kintoki by the wrist, towards the living room area. When he let go, Kintoki's smile did not fade. 

"Okay, now listen here-". 

"He's perfect". Kintoki interupted Gintoki abruptly, suddenly quite enthusiastic. "Gintoki, I think I can make this work". 

"H-how?! He's-...!" 

Gintoki was more reluctant about this than anything else. The idea of Hijikata getting to know a guy like Kintoki for the sake of practice caused a lot of frustration to build up. No way was this happening! Hijikata was dating Gintoki--it couldn't be done! But how would Gintoki convey that without being totally honest?! Even now, he couldn't simply blurt out that he was dating another man. Or could he? If he was hojest about it, then maybe Kintoki would let the idea go. Or, he might be more enthusiastic since Hijikata has experience on what it's like to date a guy. Either way, he had to refuse this request at all costs. 

"He's handsome and he seems quite close to you, so why not ask him at least?" 

"What gives you the impression that we're that close, huh?" 

"I believe he mentioned a "China Gir"? By that I can only assume he's close to Kagura-chan, therefore he must be close to you, hm?" 

He wasn't wrong, but still... 

"So what? What makes you think he'll go along with it? Hijikata has a mind of his own, and he's not gonna go out with a guy he barely knows". 

"Then let me get to know him and vise versa. This could be great practice for me". 

"No...No way. There's no way he'll go for it. Absolutely no way, and I'm not gonna let you go for it either". 

"Why not?" 

Did Gintoki have much of a choice? He had to make things clear. With a defeated sigh, Gintoki called Hijikata over to his side. Hijikata, curious, came over and once again met with Kintoki's faint smile. 

"Kintoki, I'm gonna make this very clear. In order to get this through your head, I have to be honest. Hijikata is...currently dating me". 

"...!' Both parties were shocked by Gintoki's sudden confession. 

"G-Gintoki...!' Out of either Kintoki and Hijikata, Hijikata was the most astonished. "What's this about?! What's going on?!" 

"So, he's dating you? That is quite shocking news, even so-". 

"Oi! Don't ignore me you bastards!" Hijikata was livid, yelling at Gintoki specifically. "Will someone tell me what the hell is going on here?!" 

"Woah, Hijikata, calm down. Shh". Gintoki rubbed soft circles in Hijikata's back to calm his down. It appeared to be working. "Alright, we'll explain everything. Just...bear with us". 

This was going to be a long night... 

... 

Everything was explained from the very begining. Hijikata listened quietly to every word, surpressing his emotions of anger and frustration with crossed arms and a furrowed brow. The explanation was long, but they got through it eventually. Every last detail. 

"So, what you're saying is...". Hijikata finally began speaking, given the opportunity to get his opinion in. "You want my help for this new role of yours, by dating me? Or at least experiencing it with another man?" 

"That's correct. It won't be taken too seriously, as I am only interested in women. I will not ask for much either, just an opportunity to see this through. So, Hijikata-san, will you help me?' 

Hijikata sat back against the sofa, arms still crossed, but his brow relaxed a little. He pondered for a sedond or two. But did not hesitate. This was not considered hesitating, and because of this, for some reason, the dread that Gintoki felt before had disappeared into thin air. 

"I'll have to apologise, but I won't help you". 

"...!" 

"I can't. One, I wouldn't feel comfortable doing so. And two...I'm already dating Gintoki. You say that you wouldn't take it too seriously but, even so, I don't want this idiot right here getting any weird ideas". Gintoki's brow furrowed instead. What the hell was he insinuating? That Gintoki would get jealous or something? "I can't practice with you. I hope you understand". 

"...". Kintoki was reluctant to agree with this. He didn't want to give up. He didn't, and he wouldn't do so. "Hijikata-san, I can't ask anyone else. If you help me this once-even if it's a little push-I'll use it to see this project through. I am a professional actor, but I do need your help. Maybe...Maybe we don't have to start off with a date or anything. I have a week to come up with my decision, so...Can't we start off by going out as friends? No matter how slowly I have to take this-even at a snail pace-I won't give up". 

"This guy...He's so stubborn". Hijikata muttered to Gintoki, letting out a sigh. He seemed a little conflicted now, which peaked Gintoki's interest. Gintoki stood up. 

"Hijikata, can I speak to you privately?" 

"...Sure". 

Hijikata stood up, too, following Gintoki into a random room to talk privately. Neither of them registered that they were heading into the laundry room, but it was still private. The door was closed and the light switch was flicked on. They stood there in the spacious bathroom, Hijikata's arms crossed as he waited for Gintoki to speak up. 

"Well? Don't tell me you want to go with this idotic idea. I'm surprised you even wanna help this guy considering how much you complained about him last night". 

"I think it's idiotic as well. But I wanna know how you feel about it, honestly. When he mentioned going out as friends, you faltered a little. Why?" 

"...! I...I pity him". 

"Does that mean you wanna go through with this?" 

"I never said that. Haah...Look, if I do this once, he'll shut up about it and leave us both alone. I doubt you give two shits about his career or his well-being, which makes me wonder why you went along with this in the first place". 

"I told 'em that if I helped, he'd stop harrassing the people closest to me, like Tama". 

"He harrasses Tama?" 

"N-not anything physical or abusive. She thinks he's dangerous and manipulative". 

"So what makes you think he'll stop if you do this for him?" Gintoki put his hands on his hips, eyes lowered to the floor as he let out a sigh. 

"I dunno. I have a hunch". 

"A hunch...Great...". 

"Look, maybe...Maybe if we do this once, he'll leave us be and that'll be the end of it. But knowing him, I'm not so sure. You're a strong guy, Hijikata. In body and will, so if he persists I know you'll tell him straight that you wanna stop. If he doesn't stop, I'll-". 

"It's okay. Haa, as reluctant as I am to do this, I'll...put up with it-but only once-as a friend to him". 

"Right..."friend"...". 

"Exactly. Don't get any weird ideas about me, okay? After this, you can I can go back to normal". 

"Absolutely. Define "normal", though". 

Hijikata shook his head to himself, unable to hold back a smile. That was true. What the hell was "normal" about their relationship in the first place? They exited, seeing Kintoki wait patiently outside. Hesitant, Hijikata approuched him first but stood firm. He didn't feel intimidated by this guy, considering they were the same height and roughly the same build-just like Gintoki. 

"Alright. I'll go with you-as an acquaintance. That way you can see what it's like, but don't get any ideas, alright?" 

"Of course not. How about coffee?" 

"...Fine by me-...?". 

Hijikata felt Gintoki wrap his arm around his waist, almost protectively. Hijikata felt a little uncomfortable, like Gintoki was marking his territory or something, which presented a great deal of jealousy already. But Gintoki was trusting of Hijikata. He was, he just had a bad habitmof mistrusting other people. 

"How about I meet you there? I'm sure we can work something out". 

"I'm free tomorrow morning, so fine". 

"Great. How about we exchange contact details, then-". 

"No, that's, ah...Not necessary. There's a coffee shop down the street. We can meet ther tomorrow at around eleven in the morning. Okay?" 

"Oh, I love that place. Very well. That's perfectly fine. I'll see you then, Hijikata-san. I'll be seeing myself out. Good-bye, Gintoki. See you tomorrow, Hijikata-san". 

And off he went, seeing himself out the door. The apartment fell silent, and Gintoki finally let go of Hijikata's waist. 

"Sorry 'bout that". He apologised, scatching the back of his head awkwardly. "I got a little frustrated back there, seein' him look at you and talk to you so casually. Pisses me off...". 

"Just don't do it again. I'm not yours to hang over like a dead animal". 

"Yeah, I got it. Geez...". 

"There's nothing for you to worry about, either. It's just coffee, in the middle of the day. And we can go back to the apartment later and spend the rest of the day together, alright?" 

"Really...?" 

"Yes, really. The whole day". 

Gintoki smiled, wrapping his arm around Hijikata again, only this time he showed more affection and a lot less aggression. 

"Hijikata-kun~, come back safe and sound, okay~?" Gintoki buried his face into the crook of Hijikata's neck, whining in a joking way. Hijikata could tell that he wasn't being serious, thus brushed it off with a faint smile. 

"Okay, okay. Now could you cut it out?" 

Gintoki pulled away, only to lean in and kiss Hijikata's cheek instead. Rubbing Hijikata's arm slowly and gently, Gintoki asked if Hijikata was going to be okay. 

"I told you not to worry. I mean, are you gonna be okay?" 

"Pssh, I'll be fine. No worries. You can...count on me". 

"Uh, thanks, whatever you mean by that. I'll be gone for an hour tops". 

"Hey, it doesn't matter if you stay our for a good hour and...two minutes. You're an adult and...y-yeah, no worries". 

"Right...Okay. Good". 

Gintoki trusted Hijikata. This was nothing. It was a day for Hijikata to spend some time with Kintoki, a day for Kintoki go out with a man-as acquaintances. Snail pace indeed, and that was how Gintoki and Hijikata liked it. It was fine. Everything was fine with Gintoki. No worries, no trust issues aiming towards Kintoki...None of it. None. At. All. So... 

... 

... 

So why was he here? The following morning, with his conscience killing him to get up and get out of the apartment before eleven, Gintoki made his way to the coffee place down the street and discreetly kept an eye on the scene. Hijikata stood outside, waiting for Kintoki to come pick him up. But Hijikata wasn't dense. Oh, no. He could spot that natural perm from miles away, therefore he could easily spot him sitting at one of the tables outside. He tried to ignore him as best he could, although he was quite angry-and it wasn't even noon yet. Gintoki was going to get an earful from the demonic vice-chief of the district police. No mercy, whatsoever. 

Gintoki peered out from behind the newspaper in hand, seeing Kintoki approuch the coffee place. He was wearing a pair of glasses, oddly enough and more casual clothes rather than his usual flashy suit. Just a sweater and pants, nothing too casual but nothing too flashy either. He must have taken Gintoki's advice about sticking out in the crowd. Hijikata looked in his direction, a little surprised by his appearance. 

"Hijikata-san, honestly, you didn't have to stand out here. Aren't you cold?" 

"No, I'm fine. Let's just head inside. Um, by the way, do you wear glasses often?" 

"Hm? Oh, these...I wear glasses so that people don't recognise me. A lot more natural than sunglasses in autumn, wouldn't you say?" 

"...I guess". 

"Let's head inside, then. This place is a lot more quiet than most coffee shops or tea houses. That's one of the reasons why I frequent here". 

"Really? I've never seen you around here before". 

The two headed inside, and Gintoki followed discreetly. He had already been noticed by Hijikata, but to be noticed by Kintoki as well... 

"Oh, I come here mostly during the afternoon when I'm on a break from work". 

"Oh...I see". 

Gintoki stood right outside the door as the two were greeted by a waitress. She led them to a table-and empty booth at the corner of the shop. Gintoki followed, taking the booth next to theirs, back to back with Kintoki. Hijiakata noticed him enter, but wisely kept that to himself. 

"Sir, can I get you anything?" A different waitress asked Gintoki the usual question, catching him off guard as he focused on the menu without actually looking at it. 

"Err...I-I'll have a tea and strawberry cake. Thanks". 

"Okay, I'll be right back". 

Gintoki was left alone, listening to Kintoki and Hijikata converse. He felt stupid for doing this, and knew that he would get stabbed later, but he didn't trust Kintoki at all. Not one bit. If he tried to make the moves on Hijikata for the sake of practice then-aaagh! That sounded so dumb in his head! He was an idiot, a real idiot! 

"So, Hijikata-san...". Kintoki began, resting his chin on his knuckles as he prepared to start up a conversation. "Why not tell me a little bit about yourself? We've only just met, so I know nothing about you. I'm quite interested". Liar... 

"Uh, there's not a lot to talk about...". 

"Sure there is. I'm not asking for your whole life story, just a little about uour personality, your hobbies, your job. Don't be shy". 

"I'm not being shy. Haa, alright. Well, I'm the Vice-commander of the district police, the Shinsengumi. I don't have many hobbies-none of interest anyway and, um...I'm sure you'll pick up my personality later down the line, but it should surely put you off hanging out with me like this". 

("Hijikata-kun~...!") Gintoki was happy, truely happy that Hijikata was so reserved and not at all sociable. This way he could put a wall up around himself and Kintoki could lose interest. There was no way even a manipulative guy like Kintoki Sakata could penetrate the walls of Toushiro Hijikata, the Demonic Vice-Chief...That sounded so out of context...It pissed Gintoki ooofff! 

"Oh, no. Don't be like that. I'm sure you have a lovely personality". 

("Nice try, Kin-san, but Hijikata won't fall for recycled words. He's not like that"). 

"Do you say these things to women?" 

"Pardon...?" 

"It sounds over-used. If you're going to say something nice, don't scrape the bottom of the barrel for old material". 

("Don't encourage him you moron!") 

"Well, what kinds of compliments do you receive usually? Like, say, from Gintoki? If you two are together, surely he treats you with respect and affection. After all, you are quite handsome". 

("Oiii! He sneaked in a proper compliment! He sneaked it in when bringing me up! The most compliments I say to Hijikata are...are...!") 

"He doesn't really compliment me, because he knows I wouldn't accept them. It's common knowledge to be modest, so I don't accept anything he says. Otherwise I don't take it too seriously. Neither of us do...". 

"I see...Yes, it is common knowledge in this country to be modest, but isn't it nice to be a little selfish and accept the fact that you're special? It's not flattery, Hijikata-san. I do think you are handsome. Has no one ever told you that?" 

"...". 

Last night...Gintoki said it. ("Actually, you look quite handsome. I'm getting all flustered now"). He did say it, and he meant it despite having that cheeky smile across his face. Gintoki remembered it too. It may not have sounded serious, but he did mean it. He did... 

"Well...Actually...". Hijikata knew that Gintoki was sitting right there, behind Kintoki in the separate booth. He knew he was listening to this. There was no point in lying. None at all. "Actually, Gintoki-". 

"Here are your order's, gentlemen". Out of nowhere, the waitress brought over a tray of iced tea and coffee. "Enjoy". 

"Thank you very much". Kintoki thanked her, taking his iced tea to sip it. "Haa...As you were saying?" He asked, a seemingly smug expression. 

"I was saying that...You know what, Gintoki does compliment me sometimes and whenever he does, he means it". Hijikata sipped his coffee, his heart sinking as he wondered what Gintoki's expression was right now. He didn't see that straight, serious expression. "It isn't just that. He...treats me with respect when it matters and he's, er...He doesn't dwell on the little things and just gives me that goofy smile of his to either annoy the hell outta me or...to cheer me up". 

The are around the two booths went silent: dead silent. A waitress approuched Gintoki's table with his tea and strawberry cake. 

"Your order, sir". 

"Uh...Can I take that to go, please?" He whispered. "Sorry, it's just-". 

"No, it's no trouble. I'll get it ready for you. No worries, I promise". 

"Okay...". Gintoki stood up as the waitress left. This action left Hijikata dumbfounded. He didn't look up at Gintoki, keeping a straight face as he sipped his drink. 

"Sounds like you two are quite close, after all". Kintoki muttered, hiding a smirk behind his hand. He had noticed Gintoki... 

"...". Hijikata didn't say a word, hearing a distant "thank you" from the counter before the bell above the front door rang moments later. Gintoki was gone, and it left Hijikata wondering why he decided to leave all of a sudden right after coming here to spy on him and Kintoki. Why did he have that look on his face? Hijikata caught a mere glimpse of it, but he saw the seriousness in those eyes. Why? 

... 

Entering Gintoki's apartment hesitantly, Hijikata scoured around the main room, spotting Gintoki at the dining table with his cake and tea. He was a little withdrawn and anxious to enter, especially unannounced, but his outing with Kintoki was over and he had to speak to Gintoki. Now. 

"Gintoki...?" He called out to him, receving a glance from him. "Can I come in? I need to talk to you". 

Gintoki sighed, putting down his fork before getting up. He was like a boy being called to the hallway by his teacher because he knew he was in trouble, he knew that he was caught red-handed and had to face up to being yelled at or punished. With his hands stuffed into his pants pockets, he approuched Hijikata, accepting that he was going to get an earful. But Hijikata remained cool and collected, walking in and removing his shoes. They met in the middle, and Gintoki casually leaned against the wall with his hands still stuffed into his pockets. 

"Well, come on". He said, not batting an eye away from Hijikata's serious, but collected, face. "Yell at me, tell me off for sneaking in to keep an eye on your little "date" after I said the other night how I trusted you. That hasn't changed, it's just-". 

"Why did you leave?" It was unexpected, out of the blue, calm and out of character. The real Demonic Vice-Chief would be beating Gintoki with a stick by now, but he was exceptionally calm about this, asking why Gintoki left-out of all the things he could say. "After I said those things, you just got up and left. I wanna know why. Did I embarrass you? Make us both sound like idiots-'cause I sure feel stupid for going into such detail. So...Where you embarrassed, or was it...something else?" 

"What's this about? Aren't you mad that I tried to keep an eye on you both?" 

"Of course I'm mad, anyone would be. But we can probably discuss that later, so for now answer my question".

"Haah, geez...I was prepared to get killed, ya know. "Gin-san was an idiot for acting jealous", "do you not trust me?" Blah, blah, blah. You scared me there, but this is just unexpected". 

"Don't avoid the question. Why did you leave...with that kind of face? You looked so pissed before, so why the change of attitude?" 

"You wanna know why...Well, before I get to that, I do trust you, Hijikata. I know you well enough not to get swept up by a manipulative player like him-who's a guy to boot. I know you'd never submit so weakly because he calls you "handsome". And I left after you admitted all those things because...I realised that I trust you a lot more than I thought". 

"What does that mean?" 

"It means that...I didn't need to watch over you, or even him. 'Cause I know you can stand up for yourself, and you're not afraid to be honest when it comes to something you care about". 

"Hah...You goin' as far as to say I "care" about you?" 

"You know what I mean, dumbass. So, with that said, how did it go? And I'm not asking so I can get pissed off and go on a stereotypical seme rampage. I'm genuinly asking if you had fun or not". 

Gintoki was serious. That was an oddity in itself, but it was real. And Hijikata trusted it. He trusted him. A smile curved onto his lips, and he couldn't hold back from approuching Gintoki, who was still standing against the wall. Hijikata rested his hands on Gintoki's shoulders at first, then rested their foreheads together. His hands slid gently to the nape of Gintoki's neck, holding back the urge to lace those fingers through thick, soft, silver locks. Gintoki didn't budge, closing his eyes as soon as their noses touched with a very simple tilt of the head. With lips parted, they brushed together and Gintoki took a little initiative by licking Hijikata's bottom lip, anxiously nipping it with his teeth before they dove in for a proper kiss. It was passionate, but not at all hot and firey. They didn't need that for their hearts to skip a beat or two to the point where it felt like the beating would stop completely. 

Their lips parted, short breaths escaping from tired lungs. Whether on purpose or not, to tease or to be sincere, Gintoki briefly nuzzled his nose with Hijikata's in this tender-and quite rare-moment. 

"If I'm honest...". Hijikata began, his cheeks a little red from merely thinking this. "...it wasn't as enjoyable as the fun I have with you. And don't...tell anyone I said that". 

"Awh, me too. Aren't you a sweetie~. I'll be sure to inform your drinking buddy, Kondo-san, about those adorable words. Maybe I'll write it in a book for the nation to see". 

"What did I just say?" 

"Aw-come on. I'm just fucking with you. So, it wasn't that fun?" 

"It was alright. But he invited me out again...". 

"...? That so...". 

"Look, I know it's-". 

"Hey, hey. If you wanna go, then go. Who am I stop you?" 

"Are you sure? Because if I gain the slightest hint that he'll try anything in the name of "practice", I won't hesitate to punch him in the throat". 

"Wo-hoah...Hijikata...I like it when you're threatening-towards other people, that is. It's kinda sexy...". 

"Don't. For the love of-". 

"Haha, again, I'm just fucking with you. Go have fun and punch him square in the throat if he even makes you the tiniest bit uncomfortable". 

"I will...Thank you". 

Hijikata slid his thumb across Gintoki's bottom lip, brushing their noses together one more time before leaning in for yet another kiss. It was quick, but nice all the same. Gintoki didn't mind as much anymore, he only wished that Kintoki keep a fair distance from Hijikata. It was worth mentioning to him, even if it sounded like a threat. A guy like him was only worth avoiding. But Hijikata could stick up for himself. He didn't need protecting or a prince charming to come save him. He was a grown man that had already fought his fair share of battles by himself. He could manage. Gintoki believed in this, trusting him, keeping calm in this situatiin as he believed that Hijikata could fight his own fights. He was fine. Definitely. He was fine. And, hell, it wasn't as if Kintoki would make any real moves on him. That guy was as straight as Gintoki, only not as visibly perverted or sadistic. So this was fine. This time, everything would be fine... 

...

... 

An ice pack for Kagura's headache, and a glass of water. This was Gintoki's job while he had to stand by and occassional glance over towards the balcony, where Kintoki and Hijikata talked privately. As he brought over a cold pack and that glass of water to Kagura, who lay down on the sofa with a splitting headache after school, Gintoki glanced over towards the glass panes once again with a better angle. He then tried to put it aside, kneeling down beside Kagura to spreas the cold pack across her forehead. 

"There ya go. How's that?" 

"Good...Maan, I hate headaches...". 

"Me too, kiddo. Rest easy and it'll go away. This also applies to shutting up for a few hours, so it saves us both from a bad headache". 

"Screw...you...". 

Gintoki parked his rear on the armchair, twisting his posture in order to watch those two, who were still on the balcony talking about god-knows-what. He dreaded it. He dreaded to know what Kintoki was trying to put into Hijikata's head. But, by the looks of things, Hijikata appeared to he doing most of the talking and Kintoki listened while nodding, smiling faintly. How annoying... 

... 

"So, we've only been dating for five months, and we've had our ups and downs but...". 

"You two seem quite close". Kintoki took a sip of his tea, paying very little attention to the view across from the balcony, and instead focused on Hijikata and his words with great interest. 

"I guess you could say that. No matter how many times we argue or piss eachother off, I suppose we've gotten to a good point in our relationship where we, at least, don't wanna kill eachother just by seeing the other person's face". 

"How often did you two argue?" 

"Whenever we met, but not anymore. That's in the past". 

"Hm...That must have quite frustrating. I can't see why he would be irritared by this face, though. Or maybe he was jealous". 

"I wouldn't go that far. Gintoki isn't vain like that, he doesn't give a damn about what I looked like. Yeah, he would pick up on the furrow in my brow and my attitude, but he didn't care about my appearance". 

"I see. So how is it that you came to date him in the first place if you fought so easily in the past?" 

"It's a bit of a long story...". 

"I want to hear it. I like to listen, especially to someone as interesting as you, Hijikata-san. I'm interested in your life and would like to get to know you better, even if you are talking about Gintoki". 

"Uh, well...Thanks, but my life isn't interesting enough to talk about in great detail". 

"I'm sire that's wrong. So far I've only heard good things going on in your life. You seem quite passionate and ambitious, and I respect that in anyone". 

"Oh, well, I don't think-". 

"There's no need to be so modest. You make it sound like you've heard those things too many times to count, but your face says that you've never received such compliments before, and I find that quite shocking". 

"W-well, thanks, anyway". 

"You're quite cute, Hijikata-san". 

"...?! What...". 

"Hm? I didn't say anything. Goodness...Although, I think I may be rambling on a bit". 

"Right...I'm gonna go refill my tea. Be right back". 

Hijikata went back inside, and was met by Gintoki within the living room area. That comment...Even Kintoki himself was confused by it. He hoestly didn't know what brought such words on. Was Hijikata really...? No, he denied it. Failed to believe he would actually think that about another man. He looked back, into the apartment, to make sure that he wasn't delusional. Through the slight glare on the glass, Kintoki could see Gintoki take Hijikata's cup for him. They were talking, although their words were unaudible and unreadable from the balcony, behind the glass doors. 

He noticed every little details of their physical interactions, though. Gintoki so casually rubbed Hijikata's arm, placing a kiss on his cheek. Hijikata appeared to get a little angry and even flustered at that, pointing to the balcony doors where Kintoki was standing behind. He was probably angry at Gintoki for being so affectionate while Kintoki was right there, as a guest. Gintoki seemed to brush it off, giving Hijikata even more kisses and leaving him a little embarrassed, swatting Gintoki's face away. Kintoki had never seen such an unguarded look on Hijikata's face before, how he got so worked up over Gintoki showing him the tiniest bit off affection. This was strange, but...Kintoki felt a little envious of that and he couldn't understand it. Although flustered, Hijikata seemed...a little happy. 

... 

...

With his legs in basket form, sitting in the center of Hijikata's bed, Gintoki glanced over every now and then as Hijikata changed into a suit with no tie. This was the third time Kintoki was taking him out, only this time it was during the evening to some fancy restaurant. Gintoki opposed the idea since this was third time already, and Hijikata wouldn't be comfortable in a fancy setting, especially if he had to wear a suit. But Hijikata argued back, saying he would stick it out and get on with it since Kintoki had already made reservations. Gintoki was silently pouting, flopping on his back with a lolipop in his mouth and an issue of Jump in his hands. He hadn't quit reading those...Why the hell didn't he just buy the manga for a particular series. Wait for the volumes to be put up on shelves? He thought about these things over and over as a distraction from his other, more ill thoughts on Kintoki and his bad habit of taking up Hijikata's time-when Gintoki could have been spending time with Hijikata instead. 

"Man...These volumes are always so unpredictable". He muttered, lolipop in hand and out of his mouth. "You'd think I'd be able to understand basic shounen by now,but they're always full of surprising just waitin' to kick ya in the balls". Was he sneaking a weird euphemism in there? A euphimism aimed towards Kintoki? Hijikata wondered that, but didn't mention it as he sighed, approuching Gintoki once he was dressed. 

"Here...I have something for you". Hijikata sat on the bed with Gintoki, the matress sinking beneath them. Gintoki looked up, surprised when a piece of metal was held above his head, swaying slowly in front of his blurred vision. He rubbed his eyes before getting a clear look. A key...It was a key. Taking it in hand, Gintoki was puzzled; once again looking up at Hijikata for answers. 

"What's this?" 

"It's a key, what else?" 

"A key to what, Einstein?" 

"...My apartment". 

"Eh...?" Gintoki sat up, taking a better look at the key in hand before letting out a soft laugh. "Haha, no kiddin'. But why?" 

"Well since you seem to trust me quite well, I wanted to show you that I trust you, too. It seems a little much, that's why it's for emergencies only-aside from tonight. If you want you can stick around the apartment, shower and head back to your place. So...I'm trusting you. We've been going out for five months, so...". 

"Hah, wow, you must really trust me then. Okay...Looks like I'll have to cut one for you, too. Just so you know, I've never had a key cut for anyone who hasn't lived with me. You're the first to get one, not to mention I'm dating you". 

"Yeah, well...". 

"Thanks, Hijikata. I'll take good care of it". 

"You'd better, 'cause I'm not having another one cut for you". 

"Fine, fine-...?" 

Gintoki was cut off by the annoyance that was the door being knocked by, well, who else? Gintoki grumbled as Hijikata stood up to go answer it. He gave Gintoki a brief smile before sitting up, and exiting the bedroom. Gintoki lingered for a bit before also standing to his feet. He followed, hesitating to peer out. It was indeed Kintoki, here to pick Hijikata up. 

"Hey there, Hijikata-san. Ready to go?" 

"Yeah, in a bit. Erm...What is...?" Hijikata looked at the bouquet of flowers in Kintoki's hand. It consisted of roses, both black and a dark blue. 

"Oh, these? I'm sorry, but I'm used to getting gifts when I'm picking someone up for the evening. I went into a flower shop in town, saw these and thought that they would...suit you. A-and, I have to say they do bring out your eyes...Will you accept them?" 

"Uhh...To be honest, I'm not really into flowers, but thank you anyway. Y-yeah, I'll accept them". Hijikata sheepishly took the small bouquet of roses, feeling awkward for even holding them. 

"That makes me happy. And, look, they really do bring out your eyes. So clear and blue...". 

"Alright, Prince Charming". Suddenly Gintoki barged in between them, holding the front door. "Give us a moment or two, will ya?" 

"Ah! Gintoki-...?!" Kintoki was cut off, angered by Gintoki's sudden appearance, when the door was shut in his face. 

Hijikata sighed, heading to the kitchen area to find a vase or jug to keep the flowers in, since it was a nice enough gesture. Gintoki followed him, irritated. 

"Okay, what the hell was that about?" He questioned, arms crossed over his chest in a fit of anger. 

"I dunno. Never expected him to get flowers for me". 

"I mean-wha-...D-do guys normally get other guys flowers?!" 

"Yeah, I think so". 

"I mean platonically!" 

"Then, no. Not really". 

"What does he think he's playin' at?! Hahh?!" 

"I don't know, but calm down. Yeah, it is weird for him to do something like this but...". 

"Then why are you putting it into a vase...?!" 

Hijikata poured some tap water into a skinny, glass flower vase and placed a few of the roses inside to be displayed on the kitchen counter. He didn't seem to be taking the gesture too seriously. 

"I won't take it to heart, they're just flowers. If it does mean something-which I doubt-". 

"How could you-...?!" 

"-Then I'll swiftly back away, alright?" Hijikata had interupted Gintoki after being interupted himself. And things were quiet for a moment, they had calmed down. "Listen, Gintoki, I'm not that open about giving people chances. In fact, I'm quite mistrusting of those who I see to be suspicious. But I know when I should give people a chance and back out before it's too late. I told you, didn't I? If anything happens-even if I get the slightest hint that he means business-then I'll back away. Okay?" 

"...Aggh, alright. Okay. But if anything happens...you back away". 

"I will. Trust me. I've gotta go, now. Shower and get to bed, get some rest. I'll see you tomorrow". Hijikata brushed Gintoki's arm, receiving a quick kiss to the cheek. "See ya". 

"Yeah, see ya. And be careful around that bastard". 

"I will, don't worry". 

Hijikata walked back towards the entrance, slipping on a pair of shoes to go with his suit before exiting. When the apartment fell silent, Gintoki's gaze wandered to the bouquet of flowers that were now displayed on the kitchen counter. Black and blue...to match Hijikata's hair and eyes. Gintoki clicked his tongue, annoyed. Thoroughly annoyed. He could do better than this. Of course that thought was encouraged by his frustration and anger, but Gintoki knew he could do better than a bouquet of flowers. Much better... 

... 

Hijikata escorted Kintoki out of the apartment building, apologising for Gintoki's earlier behaviour. He could understand Gintoki's urgency to get inbetween them, but Kintoki wasn't doing anything harmful, just something awkward. 

"There's no need for you to apologise for him, Hijikata-san. I feel a little embarrassed for getting you flowers. You are a man, after all. One who doesn't like those things as gifts". 

"To be honest, I'm not very fond of receiving gifts in general. But that doesn't mean I don't appreciate the gesture. They were nice flowers, so thanks". 

"...Does Gintoki give you gifts?" 

"Nah, we don't really hand out gifts to eachother. It doesn't fit us at all. We take eachother out for drinks or ramen and that's enough. It makes for a nice, peaceful night". 

"Does he not take you anywhere special?" 

"...Why are you asking?" 

"If it's bothering you, then I'll stop asking about it. Tonight can be about us, getting to know eachother more. There's still so much I wish to know about you, after all". 

"Right...Sure, okay". 

Hijikata was at a loss, and couldn't quite read Kintoki's personality. Gintoki did say that he was only worth keeping at arms length, but he seemed gentlemanly and harmless enough. Still, Hijikata trusted Gintoki't opinion so it might have been for the best to keep a fair distance from Kintoki, and to also be cautious of his words. Hijikata wqs reserved in his personal life anyway, so he was used to keeping out details that he deemed private. Those details...were only to be shared with someone like Kondo and Gintoki. Nobody else. So, tonight, Hijikata would try and keep Kintoki from crossing the line into his personal life.

... 

The room set up was indeed private. A single table sat by the window in a dimly lit, atmospheric room. They had ordered and had sat quietly for some time before Kintoki placed down his cutlary first. He wiped his lips with the napkin provided, leaning in to rest his chin on his knuckles once again. 

"Hijikata-san, I'm curious, seeing as you never talk about your work; I understand that your boss is Isao Kondo. From what I know, the district police really admire him, more than most surbordinates do". 

"Hah, you're actually asking about Kondo-san, of all people?" 

"I'm interested. Surely even a proud man like you admires someone, looks up to them. Can you tell me why?" 

"Ir's quite personal. I'd rather not talk about it". 

"Alright, alright then. Fair enough. Then what about your dating history? Surely Gintoki isn't the only person you've gone out with". 

"Oi, that's really personal". 

"Come on~. You don't have to go into too much detail. I'll tell you if you tell me. How many?" 

"...One". 

"...Pardon?" 

"One. I've only dated one person in my whole life. That would be Gintoki, and you already know that. It's no secret". 

"W-wait, only Gintoki? Does that mean you're...?" 

"You're treading on thin ice with these personal questions, y'know. Haa, no, I'm not...gay or anything like that. I've been interested in women before, but I've never actually dated until Gintoki came along outta nowhere". 

This was truely baffling to Kintoki. He couldn't understand why Hijikata had never so much as dated anyone besides Gintoki. It was an odd situation, considering how those two used to act around eachother; as far as Kintoki knew. So why Gintoki? Why would he be the only one Hijikata would date? It didn't make any sense, and it...irritated Kintoki. For a man who barely treated Hijikata with any respect in their previous relationship, why would they be so intimate now? And why...Why was it only Gintoki? The same questions circled around in Kintoki's mind as he lacked great understanding of the situation. If they fought in the past, frequently-no, whenever they met-then how could they be in such an intimate relationship now? He didn't understand... 

"So, how about you?" Hijikata asked before taking a sip of wine. "What about you're dating history?" 

"O-oh, right. I said I would tell you...I've dated, yes. I've been in relationships with quite a few women, but I...I don't think I ever cared about them as much as they cared about me. Too many feelings for me to keep control of. After a while I stopped dating altogether because I considered finding someone whom I truely cared about. Someone I could fall in love with. The truth is that I'm...I'm devoid of such feelings, like a robot". 

"...". There were no words. Kintoki revealed something about himself that wouldn't be published in any gossip or entertainment magazines. It was something he kept to himself, and only himseof until this moment. To say something like that...To admit being devoid of intimate or affectionate feelings was interested, but at the same time it was quite pitiful. 

"I never thought I would go into that much detail. I suppose you brought it out of me, Hijikata-san. Haha, how foolish...Well, thank you for listening to me. Even if it wasn't the happiest thing you've heard from me". 

"No problem". Hijikata's words were sincere, but lacked any sympathy. That wasn't such a bad thing, although Kintoki couldn't see the any signs of pity. His smile didn't fade for a moment as he stared for a little while. Just stared at Hijikata while he took out a cigarette. "I can smoke here, right? Do you mind?" 

"Go ahead. This is a room used for guests whom smoke, after all. The ashtray is right there, by the window". 

A cigarette was lit and the room fell silent, aside from the heavy breaths of smoke drifting from Hijikata's lips into the air. Hijikata was interesting: very interesting to Kintoki. He had his good qualities that Kintoki often didn't pay attention to when it came to other people. Hijikata was smart, witty, an interesting character, but mysterious and good-looking. He would do well as a character from a T.V drama. Not that Kintoki was loking for one. Kintoki would look into the mirror and convince himself that the reflection was total perfection. In his eyes now, Hijikata was perfection in his own way...and Kintoki admired that. He admired that in a whole new sense of the word. What could it be: he wondered? What was this feeling? This cheeky, over-whelming feeling of admiration towards a character like Hijikata? But the fact that Hijikata was already dating a man like Gintoki, it felt like an irritation-a stubborn itch on the nape of his neck or a thorn in Kintoki's side, an obstacle he wished to pass. 

... 

It was late. The night air was chilly with autumn, and Hijikata was tired from his night out with Kintoki. He only had a glass of wine, so he wasn't drunk or even tipsy that night. That was all. He wanted to curl up under his bedsheets and sleep it off until morning. He wanted to take a bath, change, get comfortable and think about his chances of seeing Gintoki tomorrow. The door to his apartment was locked, thankfully. He didn't forget. That brought a faint smile to Hijikata's lips as he entered the apartment, taking off his shoes at the entrance. Hijikata placed his own keys down on the coffee table in the living room once he reached it and carelessly removed the jacket of his suit, tossing it onto the couch for the time being. Heading up the stairs, for his bedroom, Hijikata loosened a couple buttons on his shirt. A feeling of comfort and relaxation sunk in as he drew dloser to his bedroom, but he was a little wary of the fragrant scent coming from his bedroom. He paused, his hand holding the door knob with caution. And for a moment he wondered what the harm could be until he opened the door and found himseof standing there, frozen. 

"Hey, you...". It was Gintoki. Hijikata didn't know what to make of this scene at all. 

The lights inside the room were off, the only form of lighting provided was a few scented candles. And array of orange and, assumingly, calm pink rose petals were scattered all over the bed. Two glasses and a bottle of sake were set up on one of the bedside tables. And, finally, in the center of the bed, Gintoki lay on his back, propped up on his elbows, wearing a clear white yukata that cut down to his thighs and exposed his legs. Hijikata didn't know what to think; who would in this situation? 

"Ah...Gintoki, you...". 

"Do you like it or is this awkward for you?" Gintoki maintained a faint smile, watching Hijikata's reaction in the hopes that he wouldn't be beaten to a pulp for trying. 

"N-no, I...This is...I'm certainly surprised, if that's the kinda answer you're looking for. What is all this?" 

"Well...". Gintoki sat up onto his knees, and Hijikata sat down on the edge of the bed, facing him. "See, right here...". Gintoki picked up and orange rose petal from the bed, holding it close to his lips. "Orange roses mean enthusiasm". He let it sway and fall weightlessly onto the bed once more, picking up another petal of a light pink colour, which Hijikata didn't recognise. "Coral roses mean desire". Gintoki couldn't hold back a smirk when saying that, allowing the petal to fall, taking yet another petal in hand. A lighter orange, a colour that Hijikata could only assume to be..."Peach rose petals mean...appreciation". 

"...". 

"It's...exactly what it looks like. I know you must be tired, but I wanted to see you properly before you went to work tomorrow. Wanted to...get that bad taste outta your mouth, y'know?" 

So Kintoki was a bad taste now. It was true Hijikata felt off and a bitter feeling linered around ever since he walked away from the evening to come home. After saying good-bye to Kintoki, he could feel the dread tense up, but being with Gintoki now relaxed him and made him feel comfortable. 

"Gintoki, you didn't have to do this...". 

"Yeah, I did. I thought: hey, red roses are overrated so why not purchase a bouquet with more meaning to them? So after some research and a trip to a nearby flower store, I picked these out for you and then I picked out the petals completely". 

"Hah...". 

"But sometimes, words are enough to convey how we feel and I know I should tell ya this before that flashy, straight-haired prick gets any ideas and sends ya more flowers. Hijikata, I...I really appreciate you, more than you think I do. I don't dish out compliments because you're modest, and I admire a modest person. You're smart-smarter than me. You're kind and...You...Uhh...Shit, I'm not very good at this stuff". 

"It's okay...". Hijikata cupped Gintoki's cheek, caressing his thumb softly against the skin. "Me neither, so we're even. I, er...I really appreciate you too, Gintoki. I feel a lot more comfortable, right here, with you than...". 

"Heh...Is that so..." 

"Yeah...". 

Gintoki cupped both of Hijikata's cheeks, too, leaning in a little before Hijikata took some initiative. Their lips met as soon as Hijikata pushed forward impatiently, wrapping an arm around Gintoki's waist, and the other around his shoulders to lace his fingers through Gintoki's hair. Their lips parted, their tongues finding eachother before twisting and tangling together excitedly. Gintoki leaned in more, pressing their lips together once again. Gently, Hijikata lowered Gintoki down onto his back, receiving a better angle as well as a moan from the back of Gintoki's throat. Gintoki pushed his tongue with Hijikata's, and the taste of sake and wine put together made this kiss feel more humid. Gintoki had drank alcohol, too, but was not visibly tipsy. He was conscious of his actions, taking advantage of this moment he was experiencing with Hijikata with an intense and almost aggressive intent to take him. With that in mind: Gintoki, with all his strength, flipped Hijikata over onto his back. The rose petals scattered while some flew into the air from the sudden impact of Hijikata's back striking the matress. 

The kiss didn't part as Gintoki made himself comfortable between Hijikata's legs. Sucking on Hijikata's tongue earned Gintoki a few moans and whines. Although this kiss was very exciting, the two found themseoves out of breath, therefore parted from the kiss with two gasps. It was instinct that brought Gintoki into a dazed state, kissing different spots on Hijikata's face such as his forehead, the bridge of his nose, his cheeks, etcetera. 

"Haah, haa...Hijikata, haah, I want you...". His voice was hushed, his chest heaving breathlessly with hot cheeks and glassy eyes. "I want you...". He repeated, taking Hijikata's hand in his to cover the knuckles and fingers in kisses. 

"Haah...Gintoki...". Hijikata wrapped his arms around Gintoki's neck, pulling him in for yet another deep kiss. 

A mood was being set as they kissed and explored with their hands, rutting like two animals in heat. It was natural for them to get so excited. The fragrant and sweet scent of rose petals and scented candles, as well as the smell of alcohol on eachother's lips, left them feeling dazed and dizzy with excitement and lust. They were ready to delve deeper into pleasure and the knowledge that it was in eachother's company and no one else's. They were alone togather. They were- 

"...!" 

They were interupred. Interupted by the humming of Hijikata's cellphone, which had been left on the bedside table that night to charge until he came home. Gintoki parted lips with Hijikata, frustrated. 

"Aren't ya gonna answer that?" He questioned, visibly irritated by the noise and interuption in general. 

Hijikata felt bad. Gintoki had done all of this, and for what? To be interupted? No...No he didn't. 

"Let's ignore it". Hijikata muttered. 

"Eh...?" 

"I said, let's...ignore it". 

Hijikata pulled Gintoki down once more into another kiss, the noise of the phone continuing for a few seconds more before the ringing stopped dead. Gintoki, happy and excited, began unbuttoning Hijikata's shirt. He was glad. He was glad Hijikata said those words so sincerely, that he didn't want to be interupted by- 

"...". 

Interupted by the phone, which began ringing again. Angered, Gintoki got up and turned away. 

"Answer it". He said, firmly. "Just answer it already". 

Hijikata sighed, reaching to the bedside table, unplugging his phone from the charger, and answering it reluctantly without checking the caller ID.

"Hello...?" 

["Hey...It's me"] 

"Kintoki? Wh-what is it? What are you calling me for at this time of night?" 

["I had a feeling you were up and I was right. If you're phone was off, I would have immediatly been put onto voice mail. For a second there I thought you were ignoring me"]. Hijikata could sense Kintoki's smirk from the other end of the line, and didn't like it. He didn't like it one bit. 

"What do you want? Is something the matter, or...?" 

["I have to get something off my chest, and don't worry, it won't take too long. Hijikata-san, I've been thinking a lot and as strange as it sounds coming from me...I really, er...I really like you and I want to keep seeing you"]. 

"...?!" 

Hijikata showed no visible signs of shock or bafflement, at least none that Gintoki could see from where he was sitting. He was puzzled and wasn't sure how to take these sudden words in account. It was out of the blue and caught Hijikata completely off guard. Where did this come from? Why was he saying it now? For what? Hijikata knew that Kintoki hadn't drank a lot himself that night, and he sounded quite serious with a clear way of speaking. If he was serious and he meant it "that" way, then... 

["I don't give a damn about Gintoki and whether you're seeing him or not. I think you're special, smart, and you listen. I've never felt this way about a man before, but...I really do like you, very much. I don't care about the drama project anymore. I just need to know if you're on the same page or if you'll still stubbornly date a mistake, someone who didn't treat you with the respect you deserved and who doesn't see how amazing you are. Hijikata-san, I..."]. 

"I'm hanging up". Hijikata spoke coldly, surprising Kintoki. "Don't call me, spouting shit like that when you know I'm not interested. I'm gonna make something very clear to you, Kintoki. I'm already dating someone who I get along with quite well. We fought plenty in the past, but who the hell asked you to butt in and take it to heart like you were involved? Get your head out of the drama, will ya? Whether you're serious or not, I'll say this as many as it takes, I'm not interested in you that way. This was way out of the blue, not to mention inappropriate". 

["...! Hijikata...wait a second! I, I am serious! I really-"]. 

"Yeah, well, that's your problem. I wouldn't have minded staying friends, because you still know nothing about me. Nothing. I'm hanging up now, and turning off my phone for the night. See ya". 

["N-no! Wait-...!"] 

Hijikata hung up, immediatly turning off his phone. He never thought that Kintoki would come out and say those words. He had no idea, but Hijikata had no intention of hesitating. He knew that Gintoki was already jealous, and wasn't afraid to say what he thought immediatly. Hesitation wasn't an option. It was plain stupid. Hijikata tossed his phone down on the bed, raising his head to see Gintoki stare at him, baffled. 

"Hijikata, what...". 

"...He confessed to me, said he liked me and that he wanted to keep seeing me. All I did was tell 'em straight that I wasn't interested. You heard me loud and clear, so don't get any weird ideas about me. I'm going out with you, and I'm...glad that I am". 

"Oi...You're really serious, huh?" 

"Yeah...". 

Hijikata's hands were visibly shaking, and his heart sank. Although he was one-hundred percent honest with Kintoki, he felt bad. Like he severely broke Kintoki's heart or something. He had never done that before...Not often, anyway. The only time he felt this bad for breaking someone's heart was a very long time ago, and it was only once, but it was awful. The feeling was almost sickening. Gintoki stood up from the bed, treading carefully towards Hijikata before sitting right next to him, wrapping his arm around Hijikata's shoulders. 

"I...I can't believe you really did that. I'm surprised-yeah-but...I'm also happy and I feel a little sick". 

"Why do you feel sick? I'm the one who practically yelled at him over the phone". 

"I feel as if it's partially my fault for this mess. I agreed to help him in his stupid practice for his role, 'cause I wanted to mess with him and keep him away from people like Tama. I let him see you and go out with you for practice even when I knew that he was manipulative. I knew you could help yourself if things went too far, but I never imagined it to go this far. What the hell do you think brought this on in the first place?" 

"I don't know, but...And don't get mad, but I think I actually wanna apologise to the poor bastard and explain to him properly without nearly yelling". 

"You know, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little angry. But I can't lock you away, Hijikata. I can't keep you to myself and expect to solve these things for you by knocking a few morons on their asses. You're a grown man, and by now you know the concept of dealing with you're own problems. I won't stop you if you wanna apologise, but I will tell ya to be careful". 

"Thanks...I just...I don't understand why he would gain those feelings for me after only a few days". 

"Fuck knows. Do you intend to find out?" 

"Yeah, I do. I'll, er...Fuck. I guess I'll get in contact with him tomorrow, sort things out properly. God knows how a guy like this handles rejection". 

"I'm sure he'll be fine. Why not send him a text or something now? Keep him from doing anything stupid". 

"Fine. Okay...". 

Hijikata turned on his cellphone again, unsure on how to take this situation. This was a mature way of handling things, right? He didn't know what Kintoki would do for simply being rejected, in such a harsh way, but he wasn't the most stable people-as Gintoki knew. In fact, the guy was a bit nuts. A sociopath. Gintoki blew out the scented candles, the smoke evaporating into the air like the previous, sexual mood. As Hijikata opened up a text message to send to Kintoki, Hijikata looked over his shoulder towards Gintoki and wondered if he should make things up to him since he did set up all of this. Feeling guilty, Hijikata picked up a rose petal at random; a peach petal, for appreciation. 

Kintoki didn't understand Hijikata, nor his relationship with Gintoki. Not one bit. So what the hell was his motivation for liking Hijikata in the first place? If he barely knew him, why would he go into such detail about liking him and how Gintoki was in the way? As Gintoki said: fuck knows. But Hijikata fully intended to find out, even if he had to go it alone. If Hijikata and Gintoki hadn't spoken about trust and jealousy issues before, then maybe this would have turned into a proper fight. And they didn't need one of those. Most of their arguments were based on the most insignificant and most ridiculous things. To have a serious fight...Just the thought felt off to Hijikata, and Gintoki alike. 

... 

...

Via text, Hijikata briefly apologised and invited Kintoki to discuss this properly. This guilt hung over him, a heavy burden that reminded him over and over again that he shouldn't have been so harsh or cold. But, then again, his conscious mind also told him that it was the right thing to do; to get the message across and stop him in his tracks before things went too far. Hesitating is never the answer, especially when he feel strongly about something. Hesitation is impossible. Hijikata was dating Gintoki...It was...Their relationship meant something a little more than past arguments and shenanigans. It wasn't that kind of relationship anymore. 

During the next evening, Hijikata waited in his apartment for Kintoki's arrival. He was a little anxious, but was left alone to do this, as he chose. Gintoki stayed in his own apartment, doing whatever as he waited patiently for the outcome of this. Hijikata had to explain things properly, but also receive a formal explanation himself. When the knock at the door came, quiet and anxious, Hijikata approuched to answer it. He wasn't eager to open the door, he was more eager to get this over with so that the burden would shift and that would be the end of that. And there he stood in the hallway: Kintoki with his more casual attire and pair of glasses, which he swiftly removed upon meeting with Hijikata. 

"Good evening, Hijikata". He kept a straight face, removing his glasses. "May I come in?" 

"Yeah, of course. Otherwise I wouldn't have invited you". Hijikata stepped back into his apartment, preparing to light a cigarette. Kintoki followed, removing his shoes at the entrance before shutting the door. "Have a seat and we can talk things over-". 

"I told the studio to scrap the episode ideas". 

"...". Hijikata found himself stopping, frozen near the living room sofa as he was preparing to sit down and smoke. He looked over his shoulder, showing nothing but a straight face in the eyes of a man who smiles so faintly, and casually. "Why did you do that?" 

"I'm not cut out for roles like that. I have only been acting for a few years and have a lot to learn. Roles like that are...not for me". 

"I see. Then I suppose you've given up on this "practice", then? What Gintoki told you and the time you spent around me was for nothing". 

"Not quite, I'm sure you understand that". 

"No, I don't. I don't uderstand how the hell you developed feelings for me after only a few days. Are you an idiot?" 

"Of course not. I would like to believe my feelings for you are genuine". 

"You'd like to believe?" 

"Yes. In the short time that I've known you, I've seen so many good things about you that I don't stick around to learn about other people. You're smart, kind, straight-forward. I like those things about you, Hijikata, and I still want to know so much more if you gave me the chance". 

Hijikata finally lit that cigarette, blowing out a cloud of smoke. This guy...really was an idiot. 

"Like I said, you should get your head out of the movies and the dramas and you're usual love life. Because this is not how things go. You know nothing about me yet you babble on about liking me, and wanting to get rid of Gintoki. It doesn't make sense to me. What the hell do you know about me?" 

Hijikata was raising his voice again, and he knew this. He knew the guilt would rein in if he continued yelling without allowing him to explain himself properly. So, he stopped talking, if but for a short while and allowed Kintoki to get a word in. 

"Okay...Fine, but...I want to know something too; something that doesn't make sense to me. Why Gintoki? You told me that you used to argue as soon as you met, calling eachother names and annoying eachother. So why are going out with him if it was just that? You...You don't even sound like a serious couple. I could treat you right. Better, in fact. So why Gintoki?" 

"That's simple: He understands me more than most people do. Like I said, you know nothing about me. I reserve so much about myself because I don't wanna make a sob story out of my past, I don't want people to tell me to cheer up and forget about my problems. Gintoki is the same as me. He doesn't talk about his past with anyone because it burdens him just as much as it burdens anyone else. He doesn't tell me to drop all my worries, he suggests that I carry them no matter how heavy they are because my past made me into the person I am today and he...He's helping me to find a decent future, little by little. Whether we argue or talk over a serving of sake, he's the only person who I can talk to. Yes, I can talk to Kondo-san about many things, more than I can to just anyone, but Gintoki...He's...He's not just anybody". 

Hijikata talked a lot there, and it should have been a good enough reason for Kintoki to give up. But... 

"That's...That's so annoying". Kintoki mumbled under his breath. "He's so annoying...Why...? Why does he get so much praise and affection? It isn't right...It isn't right!" 

"...?! Oi...Calm down". 

"That bastard gets everything and I get nothing! It isn't right!" 

This was Kintoki Sakata, showing his true colours. He was enraged, jealous of Gintoki. The jealousy was evident in his words and anger, pointing the finger at Gintoki, for what? He was like a child, having a tantrum. 

"I said calm down you moron! Geez...". 

"I...I'm sorry, but I still don't see it. How does a man so useless receive so much? He lives in a fantasy world, daydreaming all day without getting his head into reality. He has a lovely apartment, friends and a relationship. I can't understand...I can't understand it...!" 

"You should speak for yourself. Aren't you stuck in a fantasy world?" 

"Pardon...?" 

"Do you think everything is supposed to be total perfection? Nobody has a perfect life, just look at Gintoki. He trashes his apartment, he misses his deadlines, most of these "friends" you speak of are idiots and he's in a relationship with his rival. Gintoki doesn't have everything, but the things he does have makes him happy. Truely. Take a page from his book and stop making everything into a contest. The only person he gets to compete with in the most trivial of things is me, got it?" 

"...". 

Hijikata sighed, crushing his cigarette into the ashtray on the coffee table before approuching Kintoki. 

"Listen, I can't return these feelings of yours, but, if you'd like, we can still be...acquaintances". 

"Hah...So, in the end, I've been bumped back down to acquaintance". 

"Yeah, for now. You gonna be okay?" 

"I think so...I did like you, Hijikata. At least...I think I did". 

"...?" 

"Maybe I'm going crazy...Haa, I'll, er, get out of your way now. I have to...get some rest. Can I talk to you later?" 

"Sure. I'll, uh, contact you, okay? I'll see you out". 

"No, no. There's no need. I'll see myself out. Good-bye, Hijikata-san". 

Kintoki slowly turned around and walked back to the entrance, slipping on his shoes before opening up the front door. Hijikata remained standing in the same place, watching him leave without protest or any need to call out to him. This conversation was over. As Kintoki had gotten into the hallway, prepared to close the door, the opposite apartment door opened and Gintoki, of all people, stepped out. There was a momentary, awkward glance between them, with nothing to be said as Kintoki swiftly left for the elevator. Gintoki watched him for a second before heading into Hijikata's apartment, with the door slightly ajar due to Kintoki's negligance.

"Hijikata...?" Gintoki peered inside, seeing that Hijikata was leaning against the back of his sofa with his arms crossed and his eyes averted from the door; until Gintoki arrived. 

"Ah, Gintoki...". 

"Can I come in?" Hijikata gave a nod, but did not move from his place. Gintoki removed his shoes and closed the door properly. He approuched Hijikata with his hands stuffed into his pockets. "How did it go?" He asked, leaning against the back of the sofa alongside Hijikata. 

"Better than I thought. He got a little angry at some point, but he calmed down quickly. I think...I think we can reamain acquaintances, but I told him the truth. That I was going out with you and I was set on that. I don't wanna date any other men, Gintoki. I don't wanna be burdened by someone else's broken heart or damaged feelings. I've already been weighed with such guilt before and, frankly, it's a sickening feeling that lasts a lifetime until you find some reason to move on". 

"See, I dunno what that kinda burden feels like, or how heavy it is. So all I can say is that you shouldn't feel bad about being honest, okay? It's not your fault that things turned out the way they did". Gintoki wvery kindly and affectionately brushed his knuckles over Hijikata's cheek, receiving a bashful glance. "C'mere...". 

Gintoki pushed himself up and out of his position, standing up-right so he could make a comforting move by wrapping his arms warmly around Hijikata. Pulling him in, Hijikata accepted this gesture with open arms, quite literally. He buried his nose and lips into Gintoki's shoulder, fingers running through his hair to bring him even closer. 

"...". 

"There. All better?" 

"...Yeah, thanks. I dunno what's up with me, honestly. This is nice, though. Every once in a while...". 

"Hm, true. This is nice, huh? Ah, hey, you hungry? I could make something for us. Some fried rice or ramen. How would you like Gin-san's homemade ramen? Although I'll have to go grocery shopping for the stuff, it shouldn't take too long". 

Hijikata softly chuckled against Gintoki's shoulder, pulling away, finally smiling just a little. 

"Ramen sounds great. I could come with you, get some air". 

"Nah, nah, you stay right here and, ah, get some scented candles out here". 

"Whatever, just hurry. I'm starving". 

"Will do. Gin-san will be right back". 

Gintoki made a dash out the door, hurridly putting on his shoes before rushing out. Did he have to be that quick? Hijikata let out a sigh and was able to relax. As much as a pain in the ass Gintoki used to be, he somehow was able to get a great deal of weight off of Hijikata's shoulders with his words and simple gestures. Now, where did he keep those candles? 

... 

Kintoki had walked down the street, a little ways at a slow and steady pace as he tried to walk off this miserable but accepting feeling. He had never been rejected so honestly before, or so coldly. Hijikata was his own person and it seemed as though he wasn't prepared to be walked on by anyone. He was no pushover and he wasn't weak-willed. As he walked, Kintoki could hear footsteps approuch him from behind. He paid no attention, registering the possibility that it was a random civilian out for a walk. Just in case, though, Kintoki brought out his glasses and slippes them on as he continued down the pathway, only to be called out to unexpectedly. The way he was called to was also unexpexted and rude. 

"Those glasses really don't suit you, y'know. Who the hell would recognise you out here? Or do you think that highly of yourself?" 

Kintoki stopped, thoroughly irritated by that cool and collected voice and those words. He turned around, his supicions clarified as soon as he saw that natural perm and half-lidded eyes that appeared almost dead. 

"Yo...". Gintoki greeted, sticking his pinky finger into his ear canal. 

"What do you want? Here to lecture me, beat me up for trying to steal your boyfriend?" 

"Ah? I think you've got the wrong guy. I don't give out lectures, and Hijikata's not my boyfriend. We're going out. And what do you mean "steal"? He's not an object. Are you a total moron?" 

"Can you both stop calling me a moron?! It's degrading!" 

"Yap, yap, yap. Geez, do you like the sound of your own voice that much? Some people have work tomorrow and they don't need you yellin' in the middle of the night to wake them up. Some bastard go to bed early. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm goin' to the grocery store to pick up ingedients for ramen". Gintoki begam walking on ahead, still picking at his ear while his free hand was stuffed carelessly into his pants pocket. But as he was inches ahead of Kintoki, he looked over his shoulder with the exact same nonchalant expression. "You wanna come with me?" 

"First you insult me, treat me like a fool and now you invite me to go grocery shopping with you? Are you insane?" 

"Not as much as you are. Damn if this were a yaoi anime or manga, you'd be the obsessive, crazy guy goin' after one guy while you expect the other to idly watch. It's annoying. What's even more annoying is that I'm aware of that shit. No, on our way, Yokazawa-san". 

"Eh?! Is that a Sekaiichi Hatsukoi reference?! How the hell-...?!" 

"It's the author, not me. Now shut up and let's get moving. Man, you're yelling is worse than the english dub Gin-san. Sugitan sounds way cooler than Chris Patton. Honestly, what were they thinking over there when they cast the english dub actors?" 

"Stop breaking the fourth wall! And definitely stop insulting something you can't change! The dub of Gintama the Movie is awful, now can we move on?" 

... 

At this time of night, although fairly empty, the local grocery store was still running until nine, at the latest. The lights were extremely bright inside on dark nights, gaining glances from anyone who passed by, out of habit. Gintoki carried around a basket, searching each aisle with Kintoki walking at his side. Gintoki looked thoroughly through the aisles, but avoided a lot of premium items for whatever reason. He could afford it, so why miss out on it? 

"You do realise that there are food items of better quality, don't you?" Kintoki wasn't one to tell people how to shop, it was simply curiosity. 

"Shut it. The stuff I'm picking tastes good together. It's not like I'm pickin' up the cheapest products. I don't live like that anymore. Weren't you ever told that the most expensive stuff isn't always the best? A lot of the more expensive meats here are too salty for my taste, and don't go too well in ramen". 

"I see. So why...are you picking up mayonnaise, of all things?" 

Gintoki picked up a bottle of mayonnaise from the next aisle, a smile curving onto his lips. He sighed dumping it in the shopping basket before continuing. 

"I dunno what you saw in Hijikata, but it seems you've made some major miscalculations". 

"I beg your pardon? What's that got to do with this? Or are you finally coming around to talk about now? Go on, then". 

"Listen, Kintoki, there's no way you like Hijikata as much as you let on. To like someone, you have to know and understand them. To like someone, you have to acknowledge all their flaws and dirty sides, and accept them for who they are regardless. You haven't seen all of Hijikata, not like I have". 

"What are you talking about? Hijikata-san is kind and modest-". 

"Nah-Well, he is that but he was mostly being polite to you". 

"Eh...?" 

"The real Hijikata that I know and like is stubborn, bull-headed, short-tempered and is addicted to mayonnaise and puts it on almost everything". 

"Huh?! R-really...?" 

"See? You're shocked. Although those are insufferable traits for a guy to have, I accept them. Know why? 'Cause I'm also stubborn, bull-headed, short-tempered and I'm addicted to sweet things, which explains my high blood sugar. See, we have a lotta flaws, but we understand them and we fight about them. As I recall, Hijikata and I have rarely had a serious fight 'cause we're both morons. To have a serious fight with someone, there usually lacks understanding in the other person's feelings. You fight over something because there's been a misunderstanding, someone gets hurt, and that's the end of it". 

"Do you...Do you never seriously fight with Hijikata, even though you're dating?" 

"I understand that it's normal for couples to fight on occassion, but we only get pissed off at eachother or make fun. We get over it in a few short minutes, tops. It kinda brought us closer together, somehow". 

"Your fighting?" 

"Yup. It's sounds weird but...we started dating because we...hit eachother in the nuts". 

"Wha-...That's...!" 

"See? Our relationship is nothing like one of your dramas. It's more like a rom-com, if ya ask me. A really low budget rom-com". 

"...So, then, there's really nothing I can do...about going out with Hijikata-san?" 

"Get it out of your head, moron. It's not happening. Hijikata has no interest in other men, even if you do have straight hair and clear eyes. I think, secretly, he prefers an idiot like me 'cause, deep down, he's an idiot too. Hijikata and I just click that way, y'know". 

Gintoki walked over to the cash registered with his groceries, and was greeted by a young woman behind the counter. Kintoki stood back, pondering those words. They "clicked", huh? Two idiots...Kintoki had never imagined such a word being used to describe such a cool-headed man like Hijikata. But the proof that Kintoki didn't know Hijikata as much as he thought he did lay right in front of him. It was Gintoki, saying all of these things, making it clear that Hijikata had his filthy points too. And Gintoki could accept those, because he was the same, in a weird way. 

They walked out of the store together. Gintoki handled the grocery bags, eager to head back to the apartment to get out of the cold. Autumn had officially arrived, it seemed. 

"Oi, you gonna be okay?" Gintoki asked Kintoki, rubbing his arms to get rid of the goosebumps that had crawled across both. "Never thought I'd ask that, but...". 

"I'll be alright. I really was interested in Hijikata, you know. But, now that I really think about it, when I saw you two together I saw a lot of affection and care. I think...I think I just wanted that, too. I...I never thought I would say this, but I'm quite envious of you, Gintoki. Envious of all the wonderful things you've gained in your life". 

"You don't have to be". 

"...?" 

"Work hard, make a good effort to earn those things too. Stick around people, give 'em a chance, otherwise you'll be locking yourself away in the darkness. Trust me, that's not a happy place to be. It's funny...I've found myself around so many people, yet I find lonliness more suffocating". 

"Gintoki...". 

"Welp, I'm out". Gintoki stretched up, gripping the grocery back tightly. He had cut off the conversation there, but Kintoki had a feeling that was in Gintoki's best interests. "It's cold, and I'm starving. If you wanna have drinks sometime, ehh...Send Hijikata a message, 'cause I don't have a cellphone. And receiving a phone call from you is bothersome. See ya 'round" 

Gintoki walked his own path, heading back to Hijikata's apartment. Kintoki stood back. He was unsure how to read that man's character. It was a puzzle. And, even now, he found the relationship he had with Hijikata to be something of an oddity. However, after listening to Gintoki-after paying attention-he understood it just a little bit more. This feeling...was like a huge weight lifted from Kintoki's chest. 

... 

This chill was almost inescapable. Gintoki entered Hijikata's apartment, taking off his shoes. His cheeks were a little red, and his body was chilled due to the cold outside. Hijikata greeted him, gratefully taking the groceries from Gintoki with thanks. 

"You okay there? You look quie cold". 

"Yeah...It is pretty chilly out there, for the beginning of autumn". 

"Then come inside and get warm. I'll start dinner". 

"Oh, no. I said I'd make Gin-san's special ramen, and that's exactly what I'll do". 

"Would you at least like some help?" Hijikata asked, setting out the meat and vegetables across the kitchen counter for prepartion". 

"Sure, help. Oh, and I picked up some spare mayo if ya wanted it". 

"Isn't that sweet of you? Quite the romantic, aren't you?" His sarcasm was obvious, but earned a smile anyway. 

Gintoki took Hijikata's advice to warm up, wrapping his arms around Hijikata's waist, bringing him closer. With a deep inhale, Gintoki rested his chin on Hijikata's shoulder before exhaling, placing a few pecks across Hijikata's shoulder. He snuggled his face into Hijikata's shoulder, hugging him a little tighter. 

"Oi, I thought you were gonna make this and I was the one helping". 

"Yeah, yeah, I will. Just...a little while longer. It's warm...". 

"...Haah, you're hopeless". 

Hijikata rolled up his sweater sleeves, beginning to set up a pot for the noodles. 

"Hey, Hijikata?" 

"Yeah...?" 

"Were you plannin' to cuddle up later?" 

"What makes you think that?" 

"...There are rose petals scattered on the sofa". Gintoki pointed at the scattered rose petals, all of them a bright yellow colour. Hijikata was flustered, suddenly regretting his decision to lay them out as a way of paying Gintoki back for last time. 

"Th-that's...nothing! It's nothing! They just...scattered like that before you came in and-!" 

"Hah, there's no need to be embarrassed. It's nice. Oh, you even brought out scented candles!" 

"Damn it!" Hijikata fidgeted, trying to budge and get rid of his romantic little display. 

"Ah, ah, ah. Don't get rid of it. I think it's cute...Seeing you doing stuff like this is like winnin' a medal to me, showin' off your cute side and all". 

"...". Hijikata was obviously frustrated, his cheeks flushed red. But hearing Gintoki say those words...that was quite rewarding as well. 

"You're cute, Hijikata". Out of instinct, Gintoki kissed the side of Hijikata's head, into his hair. With a smirk, he placed a kiss behind Hijikata's ear, and he flinched at the action. 

"Uh...! H-Hey...Quit it". 

Gintoki chuckled, lacing his fingers through Hijikata's, preventing him from continuing his task. An ice cold chill had spread throughout Gintoki's fingers, sending goosebumps across Hijikata's arms from such a simple action. This time, he could feel Gintoki's heartbeat against his back. It was fast...and excited. When in such an intimate but gently situation, even now, Gintoki became flushed. It was odd, but it was something Hijikata appreciated about Gintoki. It was something he never really saw, and was only just coming to understand. He seemed happy with this, touched by this atmosphere and contact with Hijikata. A little longer...A little while longer couldn't hurt, even when their stomachs growled and the wax of the scented candles melted with time. Staying here, appreciating these few seconds like this, was a nice change of pace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So much progress has been made!
> 
> Also, fun litte fact; the roses Kintoki gave to Hijikata were black and blue. If my research is correct, black ones can me "farewell" and blue ones symbolise "the unattainable" or "impossible". So I wasn't gonna have them be a thing anyway. It's impossible because Ginhiji all the way!!!


	22. Holding Back Tears Means the Pain Will Worsen Later On...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's some more story! It hasn't been that long since I wrote a story-based chapter, but this one is a little off from the plot. It is story, though. And, with that, I hope you enjoy.

It was a little distracting. No, wait. This was incredibly distracting. So much so that Hijikata cut up the vegetables in front of him slowly, carefully, being as cautious as possible to avoid cutting off one of his fingers because Gintoki decided to pounce on him at the last minute. But Gintoki couldn't have been that reckless. No, he couldn't. He wasn't that reckless, but he was pouting a little today-a man who doesn't normally do such a thing-or perhaps this could be considered silently complaining as he hung around Hijikata's apartment like a bad smell: the smell of expired strawberry milk. He lay sprawled across the sofa, reading Jump, killing time.

"Man...". He finally let out the beginning of his complaints into words, although Hijikata didn't react. "I hope that gorilla's grateful to you; gettin' to be the one to drink and have dinner with you for an evening". 

"Gintoki, you always drink and eat with me, so I don't know what you're complaining about". 

"I ain't complaining". 

"Kondo-san rarely comes to the apartment because of work, so, while we both have some time off, I thought he could get a second tour of the place. After all, the only times he's visited were for work purposes". 

"That'll be fun for you, huh? Gettin' together with the boss for a couple drinks and...What is it you're cooking?" 

"Stir Fry. Something simple, but good all the same. I even bought a good bottle of sake". 

"How romantic. Make sure to wear protection, won't you?" 

He still sounded jealous of Kondo-san, and that was why he wasn't invited. Also because Kondo would be asking about their relationship, when the intended purpose of the evening was to catch up on eachother's personal lives, outside of Hijikata's relationship with Gintoki. Although Kondo was usually quite enthusiastic to talk about it since seeing Hijikata in a "healthy" relationship was something Kondo could be proud of. He was happy for Hijikata, although Hijikata didn't fully comprehend what he meant by "healthy" in that relationship.

"Will you shut up? I thought we already established that I'm dating you, you're the only guy I'd ever...y'know...". 

A smirk curved onto Gintoki's lips. "I do know. This and that, different kinds of play and positions...You like it better from the side and-". 

"So do you, bastard! Don't bring this up now, anyway!" 

"Haha, why not? We're alone in here, so why can't we have more intimate coversations? Oh, and I do enjoy it from the side, but behind feels better for me when bottoming". 

"Do you have to tell me that?! Haah, and...stuff like intimate coversations...Wh-what do you mean, anyway?" 

"Ahh, so you are curious. Well, there's stuff like dirty talk, for one. I don't think we've ever talked dirty since we started dating, huh?" 

"I don't see why we need that". 

"It's fun, especially since you would get all embarrassed. Like, er, a few nights ago, we were "together" and I propped you up onto my lap until we finished. You whined because that position kept you restrained and I asked: "You like holding it back, don't ya?" Your face went bright red-I swear to god it was so adorable. That was the highlight". 

"Could you not bring up times that we've had sex so explicitly?!" 

"Cause you're em-ba-rrassed". 

"Anyone would be, you asshole!" Out of pure anger and embarrassment, Hijikata instinctively plunged the tip of the knife-which he was using to cut vegetables-into the cutting board. Gintoki failed to notice as he was too emersed in this volume of Jump, as well as the memories of Hijikata's blushing face. "Now either shut the hell up or leave. Either would sufficiant enough". 

"Awh, Hijikata-kun~, don't be mean~". Gintoki got up, dumping the manga on the sofa before going to Hijikata's side, wrapping his arms around Hijikata's waist. This was becoming habitual, wasn't it? 

"Fine, I get it. I'm sorry, you don't have to leave. Just shut up". 

"Geez, is that anyway to talk to me? You talk to that gorilla as if he's your ex' or somethin'. And ex' who you're on good terms with after having a good break-up". 

"Where the hell did that image come from? It isn't like that. I don't look up to him in that way. He's more of an equal whom I respect and admire, despite his stalking habits". 

"Hm...Yeah, you really~look up to him, especially in that old photograph of yours". 

"Agh, could you not bring that up?' 

"Your hair used to be so long and pretty that I almost mistook you for a cute girl. But, nah, you're just an adorable guy, aren't ya? Oh. Your hair's starting to grow out now!" 

Gintoki ran his fingers over the growing strands the led down the nape of Hijikata's neck. They weren't too long; his hair was still short, but it was growing out quitemquickly. Hijikata grumbled, putting down the knife to reach behind and feel these strands for himself. 

"Dammit...I don't wanna go to the barbers. It's a pain in the ass...". 

"Then why not grow it out again?" 

"Not at my age. Long hair wouldn't suit me anymore. Besides, keeping long hair is an even bigger pain in the ass than getting short hair trimmed". 

"I could just see it now: you're in a fogged up bathroom, taking a shower and washing up, your long hair is damp but glistening like a river in summer...It sticks to your hot, naked body and...ugh...Ack! Shit! Got too graphic! Code red! Code red!" 

Hijikata swiftly looked over his shoulder at Gintoki's cries. 

"Oiiiiiiii!" He was flabbergasted. "Why...Why...Why the hell do you have a nosebleed?!" 

Gintoki was holding his hand securely over his nose as blood poured and sputtered from his nostrils. His eyes were glassy and his cheeks were glared a light red colour. 

"Shit...That image got too sexy for me...". 

"Then get it outta your head, pervert! I'll fuckin' beat ya to death!" 

"Oh, man...I haven't gotten a nosebleed like this in months. Fuck...It's pretty bad, too". He wasn't even listening! Hijikata was prepared to knock this pervert out!

"Agh, you're totally helpless. Fuckin' idiot. Here...". Hijikata wripped up some paper tissues from the kitchen, swatting away Gintoki's hand aggessively before grabbing his chin and gently holding the tissues over Gintoki's nose. "Keep pressure on it to stop the bleeding, okay? I dunno how you can get a nosebleed at your age...". 

"I can't help it. Hah, you're really something to make me bleed that badly. I even feel a little dizzy...". 

"You really are a moron. Don't go picturing stuff like that so casually". 

"Heh, you know, you're right. I like you a lot better like this, the way you are now". 

Gintoki, with Hijikata continuing to apply pressure to his nosebleed, reached out and brushed his fingers over Hijikata's cheek which soon turned into a shade of red, darker than Gintoki's cheeks. Hijikata's expression provoked a smile from Gintoki, a crooked one that held some level of charm; one that Hijikata didn't want to look directly at. Hijikata swerved his face from Gintoki's reach, focusing squarely on wiping up his mess. It was a little disappointing on Gintoki's part to still see him so reserved and shy, but at the same time it was endearing and too adorable for Gintoki to hold back even the faintest smile. 

"Shouldn't you be leaving soon?" Hijikata narrowly avoided Gintoki's words, his embarrassment clear on his face. 

"Don't throw me out now. I would at least like a kiss...". 

"Sure, if you beg for it". 

"Beg?! Pff, outta the question. Like I'd ever beg to you, asshole". 

Of course Gintoki's attitude had a habit of switching when he was provoked. The word "beg" was a sensitive word among those two, or any other connotation of the word. At Hijikata's request, Gintoki had swerved his head away from Hijikata's grasp and worn a scornful expression. 

"Then I guess you'll be leaving without. Fine by me". 

Hijikata felt as though he had won this one; turning his back to Gintoki with a smirk on his face as he rolled up the bloddy tissue paper, tossing it in the trash before washing his hands. Gintoki kept his distance, adgitated. 

"Ha, beg...Who the hell do ya think I am? I'd never beg for something like a kiss good-bye from the likes of you-or from anybody-ya got that?!" 

Compared his earlier sweet, affectionate and teasing attitude, Gintoki had taken a turn for the spiteful. He was as proud as Hijikata, but at the same time a lot more shameless. He'd never stoop to something as weak as begging, no matter what the situation was. 

"Sure, sure. I've got it. No kiss. Ah, well...Better finish preparing dinner before Kondo-san arrives". This casual tone was out of Hijikata's character; this teasing. Even if it was that, he never allowed a similar smirk to Gintoki's cross his lips. 

He was acting normally, refusing to bat an eye towards Gintoki, and it was irritating. Gintoki's eyebrow twitched, tapping his foot against the floor. This scene was unsatisfactory. His lips felt feverish and irritated because he had no choice but to give up on the kiss and be quiet if he didn't want to "beg". Hijikata was messing with him, too. He knew that. And it was just a kiss...Seeing that Gintoki had stopped arguing back and had gone quiet, Hijikata was close to giving up. It was a kiss, nothing more. He sighed deeply. 

"Gintoki-...!" As Hijikata opened his mouth, he quickly closed it when there was a knock at the door. "Ah, that's Kondo-san. Do you wanna...?" 

"No, go ahead. I'll head out in a minute". 

Hijikata gave a brief nod, hurrying over to answer the front door. When answered, Hijikata was-as expected-met with Kondo. 

"Toshi...!" 

"Hey, Kondo-san. Come on in, er..make yourself at home-kh!" 

Kondo entered the apartment, immediatly throwing his arm around Hijikata's shoulders. 

"Haha, no need to be so formal, Toshi. It's been a while since we've been together outside of work, so you can relax around me". 

"Y-yeah...". Hijikata was a little withdrawn, but smiled faintly regardless. 

"Ah, Gin-san, you're here. Did I interupt anything?" Hijikata's smile faded, his eyes darting over to Gintoki. He expected Gintoki to be glaring daggers at Kondo, but he wasn't--as surprising as that was--he simply stood by ajnd headed for the entrance himself. 

"Nah, ya didn't interupt anything. I was just about to head back to the apartment to feed the glutton living with me. I'll talk to ya later, Hijikata". 

"Are you sure, Gin-san? Well, if you'd like, one night all three of us could get some drinks together". 

"Heh...Yeah...Sounds good". Gintoki muttered, slipping on his shoes. "See ya...". 

"Ah, wait...Er, Kondo-san, take it easy and I'll be right with you". 

"No problem, Toshi. I understand if you wanna get in a quick "see you later" for Gin-san". 

Kondo released Hijikata from his grasp, entering the apartment once his shoes were off. Hijikata went for the door, meeting Gintoki out in the hallway. Due to his sudden actions, Gintoki turned around carefully. 

"What...?" He questioned, simply: smiling. "Want that kiss after all?" 

"Eh...". Hijikata quickly peered over his shoulder to see that Kondo had walked far enough into the apartment, looking around as if to recall the memories of his previous visits-which were quite far apart from eachother. Knowing this, Hijikata turned back to Gintoki and moved in subtly. Resting his hand temporarily on Gintoki's shoulder, Hijikata leaned in and placed a very gentle kiss on Gintoki's lips. "I'll uh...". He sooke again once he had pulled away. "I'll talk to you later". 

"...'Kay. Have fun, and put on protection-or at least convince him to-ow!" Hijikata slapped Gintoki's head, angered by that old comment. Rubbing the sore spot, Gintoki still managed a smile. "Hey, I'm kiddin'. See ya soon". 

Gintoki entered his own apartment, leaving Hijikata to head back to his and disgard this smirk on his lips. He cleared his throat, once again acting composed. 

... 

Hijikata had poured sake into two small cups, the dishes from the meal left on the draining board to dry for the time being. They ended up conversing about all sorts, but tye main topic that came to Kondo's mind was Hijikata's relationship with Gintoki. It was embarrassing to talk about, although Hijikata refrained from showing such an emotion in front of this man. Gintoki was enough to handle when it came to his most bashful moments. All he could manage was a clearing of the throat and a quick "there isn't really much to say", or "everything's fine". Going into too much detail was out of the question. 

"There's no need to be shy, Toshi. You can Gin-san are at a nice stage, aren't you? How long has it been now since you two started dating?" 

"Er, about five months". 

"Hm, time really flies by, doesn't it? I still remember the days back in Yokohama, when we all lived under the same roof before we came to Tokyo. Although you were a lot more rebellious back then". 

"I wouldn't necessarily use that word, Kondo-san. I was...adjusting, let's say". 

"Right you were. Seems like yesterday since Sougo was this height...". Kondo lowered his hand-in his seated position-marking his knee to represent how small Okita used to be when they lived in Yokohama, just outside of Tokyo. "...picking fight after fight with you whenever he felt like it, always trying to get inbetween you and...". 

"...". They both fell silent, although Kondo maintained a gentle smile. 

"But that's in the past. Things are very different now, for all of us". 

"Hah, you're right, but you haven't changed one bit, Kondo-san". 

"Ahaha! What's that supposed to mean?" 

"W-well, you're still as kind as ever. Too kind for your own good". 

"You say that, but you stayed at the dojo and you didn't rob us". 

"No, but if...If I were anyone else, a lot more reckless and idiotic, I would've probably-...?" 

Kondo patted his hand to Hijikata's back, still smiling. 

"Toshi, we're all reckless and idiotic. But that's what brought our family together: the Shinsengumi, the district police. That's who we are". 

"Hah...Yeah, you're right". 

"Hey, Toshi, do you still have it? The photograph of everyone?" 

"...". Hijikata knew exactly what photograph Kondo mentioned, the very image stuck in Hijikata's mind. After all, it was the only one they had before going to Tokyo. Hijikata gave a nod, placing down his sake cup before heading for the bedroom upstairs. The moment he came back, a frame was in hand. He couldn't take his eyes off of it while heading back downstairs, passing the photograph to Kondo. 

"Oh! You actually framed it...!" 

"Uh, yeah, Gintoki kinda found it in the bottom drawer of my bedside table and convinced me to get it framed and placed on the table instead". 

"There's no need to be embarrassed, although you look quite serious in this picture". 

Taking out a cigarette from his pack, Hijikata glanced over at the photograph as he tucked the pack back into his shirt pocket. The picture depicted the "Shinsengumi" before Tokyo. The group was much smaller back then, living together in an old, abandoned dojo. Hijikata's past was fuzzy, many memories repressed by sorrow and feelings of anger, melancholy, even a brief state of depression as a teenager. So much had happened, and through all of that the one thing he refused to do was cry. He wouldn't cry...As that sworn, personal oath echoed in his mind, Hijikata stared up at the ceiling, blowing out a spiral of smoke. And it vanished, fading into the air. Kondo couldn't seem to take his eyes off the photograph, yet it was so easy for Hijikata. Or perhaps he found it difficult to recognise all those familiar faces; Kondo, Sougo, Saito and...Mitsuba. All of those memories, plus a few from earlier one swarmed together in Hijikata's thoughts with a mixture of alcohol and the satisfying feeling of nicotine in his lungs. He inhaled deeply, exhaled and remembered...He remembered most of it, at least. 

... 

Nineteen Years Ago... 

The rain hadn't let up at all, not since this morning. Toushiro was worried. He was worried that his mother was worrying. He had only gone to pick up a few odd groceries from the store before the rain came on, to be of some help to her. He stood under the store's overhang, watching as droplets of rain dripped from the edge of it. He sniffled, his nose red from the cold, as well as his fingers that clutched the plastic bag so tightly. He had to pick up the prescription, too... 

Toushiro shuddered, clutching the bag tightly until his nails dug into his palm. He didn't want to get the groceries wet, and there was no umbrella. His hair would get soaked...His hair...long and tied back, like a girl's. His mother didn't have the physical energy to cut it and they didn't have much money so Toushiro bit the bullet and grew it out. Often, the other children at school made fun of him for looking like a girl. Children from neighbouring schools thought he was a girl. But, by now, he was used to it as long as they left him be. Even if he couldn't have friends because of it... 

Toushiro felt the lumps form in his throat with melancholy: lonliness and isolation from the other children. It wasn't his appearance that was the only reason. Due to rumors and gossip around their town, many children heard only negative things about Toushiro. He didn't know the details, and it seemed clear that the other children didn't full understand either, but Toushiro was often refered to as "bastard". The term, when he was a lot younger, was incoprehensible. He was more familiar with it as a curse word before it's true meaning, to which he didn't understand. He never asked; he just kept quiet and held back the tears as best he could. His eyes-a this moment-stung from holding back. With the sleeve of his jacket, Toushiro frantically wioed away the forming tears from his eyes, and stood back away from the rain. His mother would be worrying greatly, and he knew stress wasn't good for her poor health. Getting home would result in getting soaked from head to toe, but what else was there to do? As the thought peaked, Toushiro sensed a second presence approuch. The dull pitter-patter of rain drops reached him; duller than the rain storm as a whole. He swerved his head in the direction of the noise, and this presence flinched. 

"...!" 

Toushiro remained collected, although his eyes were still a little red-not that such a detail could be seen through the gloomy weather. He was faced with another boy, one whom he did not recognise. He was carrying an umbrella--coloured red and blue-and just stopped at arm's length from Toushiro. He was withdrawn to utter a word as his mouth opened and closed for a few moments, thus Toushiro waited patiently for him to speak. And, eventually, he got there. 

"U-um...A-are you waiting...for the rain to stop?" The boy asked, visibly nervous. 

"I doubt it'll ever stop". Toushiro muttered, taking his eyes off the boy. 

"O-oh, um...Well, do you...do you wanna, uh...Wanna...err...". 

"Can I walk with you, under the umbrella?"

"...!" The boy was astonished, as if Toushiro was imposing. But, with red cheeks, the boy gave a nod and left some space for Toushiro to stand under the umbrella. He did so hesitant, but grateful. 

"Thank you". He mumbled, pushing back a few loose strands of hair behind his ear. The boy stared for a moment before his attention snapped and he began walking again. 

"Uh...I-it's no problem, y'know. Er, where do you need to go, exactly?" 

"Ah, is it alright if we go to the pharmacy?" 

"The pharamcy? What for?" 

"...Medicine. Just...some medicine". 

Toushiro was used to being reserved when it came to his personal life. He never spoke of hus mother's illness to anyone. The only people who knew were the pharmasists and the doctors. His mother didn't get to talk to many people, being bed-ridden most of the year. Whenever she could get up, she still remained in the house. Winter and the rain season were the worst times for her as they encouraged colds, the flu and coughing fits. It was hard, but Toushiro didn't mind taking care of her: his best friend, his only real friend... 

... 

Toushiro was handed the usual paper bag of pills and fluids in exchange for the money leftover from grocery shopping: counted precisely. 

"Thank you very much". He muttered, placing the medication safely in the grocery bag, with everything else. 

"My, Toushiro, who is that young man you came with?" The old lady behind the counter peered towards the front door curiously, and only then did Toushiro realise himself that the boy-the nameless boy-was still standing there with his umbrella. It was baffling as Toushiro didn't say he had to wait. "Is he a new friend?" 

"...I dunno. Um, thanks again, Ma'am. I'll come back again next month". Toushiro gave a bow, heading out the door to meet with the boy again. "Um, excuse me, but you didn't need to wait". 

"Huh? Well...'Course I did. If I didn't, you'd have to wait all by yourself again and...u-umm...". 

Toushiro couldn't figure out this boy's demeanor, but perhaps that was naivety. His withdrawn body language and red cheeks should have been enough to at least give Toushiro a hint. But nothing. Why? Because Toushiro knew that he was a boy. He acknowledyed himself as a boy and took all the teasing as that and that alone because of his hair and face. He looked just like his mother, after all. Anyone eho knew them both saw very little difference in their appearance. 

"Ah, thank you, anyway. Shall we go, then?" 

"...? Y-yeah. I'll walk ya home if ya-y'know...If ya want". 

"I'm sorry about this. Wouldn't your parents be worried?" 

"Nah, my Papi is working and Mami is asleep under the kotatsu 'cause she had too much sake this afternoon. I went out 'cause I don't like the smell". 

"...Your Papi, huh?" 

"Y-yeah, he works in the city so he hardly comes home. But he's a good guy, gives me candy whenever he gets back. Mom is great too when she's not drinking. She gets really happy and...". 

"You don't have to tell me, you can stop. C-can we go now?" 

"Uh-huh...Su-sure thing. Sorry, I kinda ramble a bit when I ain't thinkin'...". 

The housing districts weren't too far away. Through the rain and the fog, the two boys walked side-by-side under the one umbrella. The boy with no name-as of yet-struggled to keep his eyes off of Toushiro's hand. The bare fingers were stained red from the cold. Besides that, his whole body was trembling a bit. The boy wanted to distract himself, labelling himself as an idiot for even thinking of reaching out. 

"U-urm, I'm Sora, by the way. I don't think I told ya yet". 

"No, you didn't. It's nice to meet you, Sora-san". Toushiro smiled faintly for the first time since their meeting, and it lit up Sora's expression into a more blissful one. Blissful, but embarrassed all the same.

"Well, then! Um, what's your name?" 

This was proper ihteraction between two children: something Toushiro had missed out on since he began school. He was unfamiliar with having friends, and for a moment he thought that this could be the beginning of that. For just a moment... 

"Oii! Sora!" From a distance, another boy called out to Sora before Toushiro had a chance to open his mouth. Two boys approuched, carrying their own umbrellas. They were smirking, rushing over to greet him. "What're you doin' here? We thought you were gonna buy candy-we gave you our share of money for 'em". 

"W-well, I...". 

"Hm? Haha, who's this, your girlfrie-...?!" One of the boys had peered over at Toushiro, and before he could finishing such a teasing accusation, his eyes grew wide for a second. Then he scorned. "The hell? Why the hell are you hangin' out with this loser? Have you lost yer mind?" 

"Hey! Sh-she's not a loser! She's-...!" 

"She...?" The two boys glanced at eachother before bursting into laughter, slapping their knees and Sora's back. "Ahaha! Haha! Ha! Man, that's right...You don't go to our school...This loser is Toushiro~: a boy with girly hair and a girly face. At school, we call 'em a bastard 'cause that's what everyone calls 'em". 

"W-wait...!' Sora was flabbergasted, backing away from Toushiro cautiously. "Y-you're a boy? I thought...Uh...". Sora's face flared red, receiving another slap on the back from his "friends". 

"What, did ya think he was cute or somethin'? Eww, Sora~!" 

"I, I do not! He's not cute at all! I-". 

"Nah, nah, obviously you like him~. Ew, two boys~. Well, we'll help ya get over your gross crush. If ya think he's cute now, we'll make it so he's not cute anymore. Ahaha...". 

The two boys dumped their umbrellas on the ground, rushing towards Toushiro. Surprised and caught off guard, Toushiro didn't move-or couldn't move-until he was suddenly shoved with full force onto the ground. He landed in a puddle of filthy rain water, dropping the grocery back in hand further away to save it from any more damage than it was going to receive. The water was freezing, it smelled musty and dirtied his clothes immensly. Out of instinct, Toushiro had managed to prevent his face from falling into the mud, at a cost of scraping his hands and knees against rough concrete. He could feel the blood seep through the cuts, stinging and nipping at his skin painfully. 

"See? He's all dirty now. Are you back to normal, Sora?" 

"I...I never thought he was cute in the first place!" 

"Hmm, if that's true then this pervert's been messing with your head! You know what people like that deserve? Punishment. Let's see...Whattcha got in the bag, Toushiro~?" 

At that, Toushiro raised his head, watching one of the boys head for the grocery bag that lay on the ground, getting soaked by the rain. 

"What's with that reaction? Must be some pretty important stuff in here? I doubt you'll need 'em that badly though. Hehe...Take that!" 

The boy thrust his foot against the bag, and a crushing noise emitted from within. Upon raising his foot again, Toushiro acted on it. 

"No! Stop!" He struggled to his feet, dashing and nearly tripping over when he shoved the boy away with all his strength. 

"Oi! What's with you?!" The other boy rushed over, grabbing Toushiro's wrist. 

"Let go of me! My Mom's medicine is in there, you assholes! So don't...don't...!" Oh no...Toushiro could feel the lumps form in his throat. It hurt...Tears brimmed in his eyes as he began to panic, trembling and incapable of moving. 

"Oi, is he crying?!" 

"What a whimp! Why the hell didn't his mom just give birth to a girl-there' wouldn't have been much difference". 

"Tch, let's just leave this crybaby in the rain. Sora, you come to". 

"...! But I...". 

The two boys picked up their umbrellas, walking off as they expected Sora to follow. He looked back, seeing the state Toushiro was left in. He was crouched on the ground, frantically looking through the grocery bag before picking up a small, paper bag from the pharamcy. He looked inside it before holding it close to his chest. He was sobbing quietly, sniffling and hiccuping with no one to rub soft circles into his back and reassure him that everything was alright. No one. Especially after Sora caved in to his friends and ran off with his own umbrella in hand. Toushiro waited, clutching the medicine bag tightly, reassured at least that the medicine wasn't damaged. He scrambled up the grocery bag after calming down a little before making his way home under the raih in uncomfortable, damp clothes and a feeling of lonliness plaguing him once more. 

... 

With his mother, Toushiro lived in an apartment building with poor lighting, but decent heating. It was a relief, the only one he and his mother had living there. His clothes dripped with rain water, soaked to the bone. He tried his hardest to protect the groceries and medicine, provailing somehow with only a few cracked eggs, a dent in the milk carton and tin of tuna, a few spilled grains of rice and a torn pack of tea leaves. The vegetables and toilet paper was safe, although slightly damp. What was important to Toushiro was the safety of the medication. If he had that, he believed it could help his mother get better. It was normal for children to put their faith in whatever opportunity reached out to them if it meant their family or loved ones were safe. At least, that would be normal, wouldn't it? 

He entered the apartment: small but labelled home for as long as Toushiro could remember. He placed down the grocery bag, struggling to take off his shoes as they stubbornly stuck to his feet. 

"I'm home...". He quietly called out, listening carefully. He could hear footsteps: his mother's. 

"Oh, there you are, sweetheart. Did you get-...! Toushiro!" In an instant-not enough time for Toushiro to get a good look at his mother's face-she had rushed over towards him, kneeling on the floor in front of him. "B-baby, what happened? You're completely soaked...". 

"I...". He couldn't say it. If he said it, he felt like he would start crying again. "I...tripped and fell into a mud puddle. B-but I managed to save the groceries-and your medicine! There may be a few dents or damp things, but it should still be usable". 

"Honey, your hands are bleeding! Oh, gosh...Come inside, I'll get a towel for you and you can clean up, okay?" 

Toushiro did get a look at his mother's face: worry and concern for him written clearly on her features. She was pale, but not in a sickly way despite her condition, her eyes were of a clear blue like the colour of a deep ocean and her long, black hair was soft to the touch. She was-no questions asked-quite pretty. For a woman who never left the house, she still remained beautiful. But her young age played a part in that, too. Toushiro was old enough to realise that his mother was quite young to be raising a child, but that didn't mean she wasn't mature. On the contrary, she was a sweet, mature and gentle woman who cared for her son deeply. She loved him more than anyone in the world. 

"M-mom, please, don't worry about me. Are you feeling okay? I mean, you're out of bed and everything...". 

"I guess knowing my little boy was helping out gave me a boost. You've been a good boy, Toushiro. There's no need for you to worry about me, okay?" 

"But-...". 

She gave a gentle smile, reachihg behind Toushiro's head to untie his hair. 

"I'm more concerned about you, sweetheart. Really. Try...Try to be more careful when coming home. Now, go wash up, change and we'll see about these cuts and bruises, hm?" 

"Ah...okay, Mom. I'll be quick". 

"Take your time. And don't forget to bring out the first aid when you're finished". 

This was their family. It was small, but they were happy. Toushiro had only known a life living with his sick mother in a small, traditional japanese apartment. They had their ups and downs, mainly concerning her health. But their finances were fair. And, by this age, Toushiro could only wonder where it came from since his mother was too unfit to work. But to ask woukd take a whole new level of courage and maturity. To ask that question, with a notion in mind...Toushiro wasn't sure how his mother would react. He wondered if all the money they earned to survive was from a complete stranger, someone Toushiro had not yet been introduced to throughout his life. Wherever this person was, whoever they were really...it was likely they were secretly providing for this small family of two from a distance and had stayed out of their lives for eight whole years. Toushiro had it in mind, but wasn't sure whether to ask. That's what it came down to. 

... 

The rain appeared to have only gotten heavier as the afternoon turned to the evening. Toushiro kept his hair down while at home with a more comforting presence by his side rather than the judgemental stares of elementary students. The change of clothes felt refreshing, as well as the taste of cut up apples that were prepared after dinner. His mother was quiet, and it was a worry in case she felt sick or dizzy. 

"Mom, are you alright? Do you wanna rest?" 

"Hah, I'm fine, baby. Just a little tired. It's been a while since I've been so productive. I cleaned the apartment, made dinner and I patched up those nasty cuts of yours. They sound like such trivial tasks to any adult, but for me it's like an adventure outside of my bedroom. It's difficult to watch you grow up with chores and housework that you shouldn't have to do until you're a teenager, so I want to take over those jobs as much as possible-as your mother". 

"I don't mind doing them. Most kids my age can't cook anything and aren't used to cleaning up. Somehow I feel more mature among everyone else, as narcissistic as that sounds. Feels like I'm above others and I can do anything". 

"Don't you feel like these things are a burden, though?" 

"Of course not. You're not a burden, Mom. If anything, you're like my best friend". 

"Oh, sweetpea, don't say that. One day you'll make friends, even if there are only a few-that's enough. You're a bright, kind, wonderful boy that I'm sure people will come to know and love just as I have". 

"I guess...". 

"Then, maybe when you're much older, you'll find a different kind of love. It's much more fragile than parental love, but it's special and it's yours". 

"I don't...really want any of that, Mom. It's a nice thought but I don't really wanna fall in love with anyone". 

"Sure you will, one day. When you're a little older and you will experience all sorts of feelings towards varies people. Somewhere, in the center of all that, you'll find someone to love and they might just love you in return. It's natural for most adults". 

"Have you ever fallen in love, Mom?" 

"...". She fell silent, and Toushiro immediatly regretted asking that question. However, as if to brush it off, she reached out and pet the back of Toushiro's head. "It"s a little hard to explain, sweetheart. Sometimes things like love could be as simple and fictitious as love at first sight, but then there are some things that are a little more complicated and cannot be explained to a boy your age. Understand?" 

"...Yeah. I...I understand, Mom". 

With her energy as weak as it was, Toushiro's mother could only tousle her son's hair gently. He could feel her hand tremble, the skin cold to the touch. He felt bad. He wanted her to get better faster. But Toushuro was very smart for his age, so the likelyhood that she would "get better faster" was an empty wish made by a child. The only form of comfort he could provide was to do chores and hug her tightly for warmth. On instinct, Toushiro stood up, going to his mother and wrapping his small arms around her. She was surprised at first, but silently held him too, petting soft circles into his back as if to comfort him. He never asked about that man: the whom had missed the entirety of Toushiro's life thus far. He never asked where he was or who he was. The question drifted into the air like fog, disappearing with time. But never hearing the truth from hus mother had caused a very short gap between them, like she had covered up a dark secret to her son. At his age, such information was better off hidden away until he was old enough to understand. However, due to the circumstances that would follow, the truth would come crashing on top of Toushiro like a pile of rubble and debris in a typhoon. Sudden, suffocating, and very painful... 

... 

The phone line was dead due to the storm. There was a loss of power in the building. Puddles crashed underneath Toushiro's feet as he frantically ran through the rain, no matter how weak his lunga felt by this point. His mother...She just took a turn for the worst: coughing fits, dark circles under the eyes, too weak to move out of bed. He ran all the way to the doctors, prepared to beg for help. He needed help-his mother needed someone to help. Toushiro burst into the clinic, calling out to one of the nurses to grab Dr. Funaki-their personal doctor who treated Toushiro's mother occassionally-and tell him that it was an emergency. 

It took a short amount of time, but the doctor pulled through and followed Toushiro's lead with an umbrella in hand. There was a moment of hope for them, a moment when Toushiro felt like he could help. As soon as they arrived at the apartment-Toushiro being the only one soaked to the bone-Dr. Funaki rushed into the bedroom with his equipment and told Toushiro to wait outside. The door was shut, and all noise from within was cut off. Anxious, but with a glimmer of hope, Toushiro stepped away from the door and waited patiently for the doctor to return and explain her condition. He hoped for good news-that consisting of brief reassurance that all she needed was rest and warmth. But Toushiro had not seen his mother in such a state before and that's why he panicked. It was her worst condition yet, and that frightened him the most. 

... 

About an hour after he arrived, the doctor finally exited the bedroom with a sullen look on his face. Toushiro sat still, his legs trembling, and waited for the news. 

"Toushiro, right? Um, may I sit with you?" Toushiro gave a nod, and the doctor knekt down in front of him at the table. He clasped his hands together, locking the fingers together, and looked Toushiro as best he could in the eyes. "This is difficult to explain to a child as young as you, but your mother is in a very weak physical state. The medication we prescribed is doing nothing for her, as far as I can tell. I know that this must be hard to hear-I do-but...I would prepare for the worst, Toushiro. I'm sorry". 

Toushiro's expression was blank, but held a sense of gloom and hopelessness in those eyes. He swallowed, trying to get rid of the lumps in his throat no matter how painful it was. He sniffled, desparate to hold back. 

"Can I...Can I see her?" His voice was small: terrified and solemn. He couldn't take this... 

"Of course you can. Go right ahead, and I'll wait here". 

Toushiro stood up carefully, his legs still trembling beneath him. He wobbled into the bedroom, feeling weak and powerless to do anything like he was drowning. Entering the bedroom, he shut the door and approuched his mother's futon. Her complexion was pale, dark circles plaguing the underline of her eyes. He knekt down beside her, taking her limp hand in his. 

"T-...Toushiro, sweetheart...Are you alright? Mommy must have given you quite a fright". 

"...". 

"I feel so bad, being the one to...cause that kind of expression on your face...". 

".....". 

"Honey, please, say something. Don't hold back at all. If...If you want to cry then...". 

At those softly spoken words, the tears brimmed and streamed down Toushiro's cheeks. He trembled harder, clutching his mother's hand weakly in his. With ehatever strength she had, she too clutched his small fingers affectionately with a weak smile. 

"Hic...Mom...I...I dunno what to say...I...I feel so hopeless...Is there any-hic...Anything I can do? Please...tell me what to do...!" 

"Oh, baby, there's nothing you can do, because you've already done so much for me...You're the best thing to ever happen to me, no matter what. Be strong, but...don't forget that crying is okay. It's okay to cry when you're upset, baby. So...Don't be ashamed, my sweet boy. I know this hurts you more than anything, but don't bottle it...up...". 

Soon enough, as Toushiro's soft sobs continued, his mother couldn't hold back tears either. Seeing him so pained was enough to make her poor heart ache. Disregarding her weakened state, for just a moment, she reached out and cupped her child's cheek, brushing away the tears with her thumb. 

"Mom...Mommy...P-please don't...don't leave me all alone...!" 

"You won't be alone, sweetheart. When you're older, I know for certain you'll meet some wonderful people that'll make you smile...I know you will...". 

Toushiro hiccuped and sniffled, holding his mother's hand to prevent it from falling limply to the floor. A shine remained in her eyes from tears, her smile resisting to fade away. Her skin was slowly turning cold and her breathing slowed down immensly. He couldn't bear it...He could bear this...For the time he stayed by her side, Toushiro cried and cried until he couldn't shed anymore tears. Until they all dried up from the grief and this unbearable sorrow. Until they all...dried...up...And, on that night, the tears stopped altogether... 

... 

A dull morning, when the rain storm had ended. The rain season was over by now, but a heavier gloom hung over Toushiro's head. He sat alone in this apartment that, soon, would no longer be his. He looked up at the bedroom across the way: empty. It was always empty. He was the only one to mourn that day, under a clear, grey sky. He was truely alone now, but the thing that made it so evident was the silence. The cold, dead silence. Toushiro could have cried. In fact he almost wanted to but, by now, all of his tears had dried up. So now he was waiting to be taken away to a new foster family or maybe an orphanage. He had very little choice in the matter as his age gave him no say. He was quiet, waiting to be taken away to some strange place, to be all alone again. 

Two people had come to the apartment that morning. Toushiro had expected the social worker only; however, a man was with her. As soon as Toushiro opened the front door and was greeted by them the first thing he saw was his smile. 

"Toushiro," The social worker began once invited into the room. "This man is...going to take you in. We looked around for a while, trying to find any relatives and, well, we found some. Er, you may take it from here, Hijikata-san". 

"Thank you". The man crouched down to Toushiro's level, still smiling faintly. "Hey, there. Um, my name is Tamegoro Hijikata and, er...We have a lot to discuss, I'm sure". 

Toushiro was nervous, naturally. He had never met this man before, and didn't feel comfortable around the idea of having a new father-despite never having one around in the first place. But this man appeared to be quite young and, therefore, inexperienced with children. 

"Ma'am, can I speak with him privately, please?" 

"Yes, I'll just be in my car. Bring him and his bags down when you're ready, Hijikata-san". 

"Thank you. We'll try not to take up too much of your time". 

The social worker gave a bow before exiting the apartment, and Tamegoro turned to Toushiro again. 

"Toushiro, is it? Would it be alright if we sat down and spoke? There's a lot I wish to tell you". 

"...? O-okay...Have a seat". 

"Thank you very much". They sat, kneeling down in front of eachother with the kotatsu between them. It was a little awkward at first, having never met eachother before, but Tamegoro seemed more eager to meet Toushiro. "It's difficult to beat around the bush here, especially when all of this happened so suddenly. I...I'm very sorry about your mother. I barely knew her myself". 

"...? You knew Mom?" 

"As I said, I barely knew her. She was...close with my father. Uh...This is quite tricky. You are just a child and I'm not very good at being sensitive. Father always told me to hold back my anguish and fears and man-up. I grew up that way, so I'm used to being blunt. Toushiro, do you know...anything about your father?" 

"No, nothing. Mother never discussed it, and I never asked. I don't know who he is or where he is". 

"Is that so? If that's the case, I'm sure your mother wished to protect you. But due to the circumstances I don't have much of a choice here. Your mother was quite close to my father. I was a little younger, but I did understand what was going on. They met often and...about ten months after their last meeting, Father fell ill and died. Up until now, I had never heard of or seen your mother again. I didn't even realise she had a son-...". Tamegoro's words trailed off when he noticed Toushiro's facial expression: puzzlement. 

"Um...What...What was my Mother's relationship to your father, exactly?" 

Tamegoro was obviously reluctant to talk, but seeing as Toushiro was a bright boy he knew that there was a hint, at least. 

"My father was a rich farmer, living far into the countryside here in Nara. Your mother was, ah...She was his mistress...I assume you understand". 

"Mother was...Mom...So, then...". 

"I know it must be a lot to take in at your age. What happened between Father and your mother, it...It was the reason you were born. And between a man of wealth and a woman of working class background, even these days, you...". 

"I'm an illegitimate child, is that it?" 

"Unfortnuately, yes. Father is your father and...I am your half-brother". 

"...My...Brother...". 

"Yes...And despite everything that has happened, I am very glad to have met you, Toushiro. Finally...My little brother...". 

"...". This was quite sudden; very sudden. Toushiro had no idea he had a brother, and perhaps more relatives. 

"We still have a lot to talk about, but, if you'd like, you can come home with me and you can have a family. I'll take good care of you in father's place". 

"...Really? Well, I don't have much of a choice anyway. But, okay, I'll...come home with you". 

"Great. Where are your bags? I'll carry them for you".

Toushiro had not learned of any relatives until now. It had been locked away for years, including any information about his birth. He was an illegitimate child, a bastard child, born from a man of wealth and a mistress: his mother. She had a relationship of sorts, unmarried obviously. He could understand now why he was an outside in school and among many other people. Because of his origins, he was abnormal children, whose parents were married and intended to have children. Toushiro was...As depressing as the thought was, as he only just realised, his mother never intended to have him in the first place. But... 

("You're the best thing to ever happen to me, no matter what"). 

Those were her words. Even if he wasn't conceived on purpose, his mother had no regrets. In her final moments, she smiled at him and heod his hand with her remaining strength, uttering those caring and loving words as a goodbye. Silently, the image circled his mind in a loop as he made his way down the hallway and to the stairs with Tamegoro at his side, carrying the only bag Toushiro needed. The outside was chilly and grey, the streets almost empty. The car that was parked a little ways from the building was Toushiro's way out. He was unsure about where he would end up exactly, with no clear image in his mind. This thought, of course, included an ideal family that would welcome him into their home despite not knowing him for all these years. This, he was unsure of. From what he knew about his birth, he also considered the fact that people weren't that kind. He had blood ties to this family, but in the end he was just a stranger. However, Tamegoro was kind. He seemed so, anyway. He walked Toushiro to the car with a smile, reassuring him, as if telling him that everything was going to be okay. 

Approuching the car, Toushiro took one last glance across the street as the corner of his eye caught something. Three boys were playing with a soccer ball, one of those boys being Sora. While the two other's were distracted, Sora glanced over too and saw Toushiro head towards this car. He didn't approuch, he simply looked away with a guilty face. Toushiro, too, looked away feeling more disdain than anything else. He wanted to forget it and start over in his new home. He wanted to cling onto some hope that he would find happiness, even just the smallest ray of light to reach out to and grasp with everything he had. No matter how narrow the path, Toushiro would keep moving forward. The first step was now, climbing into the car with his new brother and the social worker. He stared out of the window, towards the paty and buildings rather than the street. He looked back for a moment, watched his old home drift away into the distance. Leaving something behind is never easy, especially the memories he made living a simple life with his mother. That's all he had left: memories. Memories and the tiny hope to create new ones... 

... 

... 

They had really made it to the countryside. With Tamegoro walking at a steady pace beside him, Toushiro made it up the path of earth and stone. Trees surrounded them, acres and acres of farmland stretching beyond that. The city was quite far, farther than Toushiro had ever been. The farthest he had ever been away from the apartment was in town, but this was unbelievable. Being so far away weighed him down in his walk, the thought that his mother was gone for good and that he would never be able to see her again. It was heartbreaking, but he could not possibly cry anymore. He kept a straight face, staring down at the path before him in earnest to leave the city behind. 

"Toushiro, keep your chin up. We're almost there". Toushiro glanced up to Tamegoro, for a moment before a hand tousled his hair. "My, you do have long hair. A little too long for a boy. Maybe when you've settled, I could cut it for you". 

"Would you really?' 

"Of course. I used to cut my sibling's hair all the time. They're adults now, so they travel to the city ever once in a blue moon to have it trimmed because apparently "I'm too old to have my hair cut by my big brother", is what they say. But, if you want, I could cut it down to an acceptable length and make you look more like a boy. Having long hair like this...". 

"I have been teased for it, yeah...". 

"Well, we can sort that out once we find a room for you". 

A room...Toushiro would have a room, a haircut, more siblings...Things were turning around quicker than expected. But Toushiro felt withdrawn, out of place from it all. He never expected so much, especially when he saw the house for the first time and met the rest of the family. He had expected some distance between himself and everyone else, but... Not like this... 

... 

The house was large and spacious, as was the single room provided to Toushiro. It was a lot bigger than the single room he shared with his mother. Tamegoro had left him alone to unpack and settle down in this new environment. But even now, he didn't have much. Leaving the packing for now, Toushiro felt anxious staying in the one place. Thus he decided to explore the new house and maybe introduce himself. The hallways were like a maze of shining hardwood floors and traditional styled walls. This whole house was of japanese style from the walls to the doors and furniture. But everything was so much more expensive than the futons and kotatsu inside the tiny apartment in which he and his mother lived. Compared to all of this, Toushiro felt rather small. 

While wandering he came to one of the sliding doors, in the very center of a large-looking room. It was open by mere inches, and a conversation could be heard from inside. Curious, Toushiro peered in and listened. As far as he could see, there was a woman kneeling down on the far end of the room, by some sort of shrine. Behind her-from Toushiro's perspective-was the broad back of Tamegoro. He listened in, covering his mouth to muffle the sound of his breathing. 

"Tamegoro...No, Brother...Why did you bring him here? We could have said nothing-pretended to know absolutely nothing about that child, and yet...". 

"Hana, you know I cannot turn down a member of our family--and he is family". 

"Yes-by blood-but that...that parasite has no purpose here. A bastard child...What was father thinking?! Mingling with a woman of her status?! Right after Mother...Listen, I don't know what you think you're doing, but maybe it's not too late to change your mind. We can throw him out and-". 

"Stop it, Hana. You, or anyone else in this family, will not lay a finger on him. Toushiro may have been born from a different mother, but he is our brother. And...he's only a child. If you will not welcome him, you can be sure as hell that I will". 

Tamegoro stood up, heading to the door, until he stopped at hus sister's soft calling. 

"Tamegoro, we respect you and love you dearly as our brother and the head of this household. But, even if you say so, none of us will accept such a rotten child into this family, born from filth and irresponsibility-on our father's part. He is to blame, as well as that jailbait". 

"Don't say that! Don't you ever say that! You never knew her...It may have been for a short time, but that woman was kind and I'm sure she loved her son. You have no right to speak ill of the dead-none at all. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go check on Toushiro and help him unpack his things. He is a part of this family, and you can do nothing about it, Hana. I won't let you". 

Toushiro rushed down the hallway as Tamegoro went for the door. He just turned the corner, heading back to his room-as he recalled where it was. He shut himself inside, sliding his back down the surface of the door. He sighed, bringing his knees up to his chest and burying his face in his arms. He wasn't accepted...He was an outsider of this family, of this house...Toushiro was really alone- 

"Toushiro? I'm coming in". 

"...!" Toushiro was surprised when the door slid open, and Tamegoro entered. 

"Hm? What're you doing down there? Shouldn't you be unpacking your things?...Toushiro?" 

Shutting the door gently, Tamegoro kneeled right beside Toushiro, resting his hand on his shoulder. 

"I...". Toushiro mumbled, gulping. "I'm not wanted here, am I? There's no room for me in this place, or anywhere for that matter". 

"That isn't true-where did you...". Tamegoro caught on, seeing the disheartened look on Toushiro's face. He had heard that conversation earlier..."Come on, get up". 

"...?" Tamegoro stood, holding out his hand to Toushiro to help him to his feet. 

"Get up now. We're gonna do something about that hair, cut it to a size suitable for a boy. You're a Hijikata now, and we won't have long, silky locks for one of our children". 

Toushiro took his brother's hand, and was pulled up to his feet. Instead of letting go, his hand was squeezed as he was led out of the room. Toushiro was caught off guard, but followed. Tamegoro, so far, was the only accepting member of this family, labelling Toushiro as a Hijikata."Toushiro Hijikata" was his new name, or was going to be in legal terms very soon. If no one else in the family would have him as a family member, Tamegoro would... 

... 

Toushiro was sat down on a bathroom stood, his hair untied and brought back down shoukder length. A towel was placed over his shoulders and Tamegoro kneeled behind him with a pair of scissors. Each strand was cut down, and the feeling of dead hairs drifting onto Toushiro's naoe was almost irritating and ticklish. He tried not to flinch or react, though. He remained as still as possible, just as his brother instructed. 

"Our father was...very irresponsible and careless". Tamegoro began, measuring out the length of Toushiro's hair in the process. "He was married twice and had a few children in the process. I was his first, actually, and the heir to this house and the farms. After he died, I took over and have made more progress with the business-more than he has in some time. Of course, he fell ill for a few months and past away. To date, you're his youngest son, right after several other sons and daughters. He was careless...But then you came along out of the blue. I was quite happy to learn I had another little brother. I'm glad that it was you Toushiro". 

"...Hey, uh...". 

"Just call me Big Brother--whatever you feel is more comfortable". 

"B-big brother...You knew my Mom, didn't you?" 

"Yeah, briefly. When I was a little younger, I would see her late at night in our kitchen preparing a glass of water for herself. I only spoke to her a few times during those nights, but I saw how kind and gentle she was. I can only imagine just how much she loved you". 

"Mm...". 

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean...". 

"It's okay...There's nothing to apologise for. It isn't your fault...". 

"It's no one's fault. She was a wonderful woman, and I wish I could have learned more about her...Learned about you much sooner". 

"...Me too".

Tamegoro was kind-the most kindess that Toushiro had received since his mother. Although the time gap between her final moments and this moment right now was short, Toushiro could feel himself being surrounded by judgemental eyes, and the uttering of the word "bastard" echoing in his ears. But the ray of hope he was looking for was much closer to him, the only thing that would go near him: his half-brother Tamegoro. He felt safe and wanted around him in the short span of time that they knew eachother. With Tamegoro-and only Tamegoro-Toushiro felt like he had a small family of two again. 

"There we are. All finished". Tamegoro brushed off a few dead strands of hair from Toushiro's shoulders and neck, placing down the pair of scissors on the floor, among the many other scattered hairs. "Take a look". 

Toushiro raised his head, looking up at the standing mirror in front of him. He flinched, the sudden change in his appearance flashing before his eyes. His hair had been shortened, cut off to the nape of his neck. For once, he recognised his appearance as that of a boy, aside from already acknowledging himself as male. He maintained a hint of his mother's appearance still, but had a fresh start in the way he looked. And, for the first time in a very long time, Toushiro smiled. 

"I...Thank you, Big Brother". 

"No problem, kiddo". Tamegoro tousled Toushiro's hair, provoking a more cheerful smile than before. "Good to see you're spirits have been lifted a bit. Maybe now you can settle and be a part of the family. But no matter what anyone else says, you're a Hijikata now. You're Toushiro Hijikata, okay?" 

"Okay...Y-yeah, okay!" 

"Atta boy. Let's get your stuff unpacked and, ah...We'll see about dinner. I'm sure you're hungry". 

"A little bit...". 

Even if it was just this man, then Toushiro felt some sort of acceptance into this new life. Although he needed time to heal his wounds-namely the lose of his mother and home-Toushiro hadn't felt so peaceful in quite some time. But this was only the beginning. He had not yet been introduced to the rest of the family, and for that he was filled with a sense of dread. The truth was, aside from Tamegoro, Toushiro was an unwanted child. To the others, he was a thorn in their side. Nothing but a...parasite. 

... 

Tamegoro led Toushiro to the dining room, where everyone else sat for dinner. The family was a little big than expected: Three brothers, three sisters, an auntie, two uncles, a cousin and a widow Grandmother. As soon as Toushiro was led into this room, with the lights on and the curtains open to reveal the night sky, all eyes wandered and stared right at him. Toushiro had the sudden urge to back away and run to is room, but Tamegoro had a fairly tight grip on his shoulders as he understood his intentions completely, and sympathised with them, but had no intention of letting Toushiro give up here. 

"Everyone, this is Toushiro. He's the new member of our family and I think we should give him a chance to settle. He's been through a lot, after all". 

Several of the members gave looks of disgust or disdain, turning their heads away from Toushiro. 

"Brother, with all due respect, you're out of your mind even bringing that parasite to our table". 

"Hana, be quiet". 

"No! That bastard thinks he can walk in here and call himself a Hijikata-well he's got another thing coming. Either send him to his room or-". 

"Put him out to eat with the other dogs". One of the men spoke up, scoffing. He was quite young, thus assumed to be one of the brothers. His comment was hurtful, but Toushiro had no choice but to stay silent and take it. 

"That is enough!" But even though Toushiro refrained from arguing, Tamegoro did not. "He is our family!" 

"Yeah, by blood". One of the other girls spoke up. Another sister, perhaps..."He looks nothing like any of us. He looks more like his mother: utter filth". 

"Stop it! All of you, stop this now! All of you may not acceot this child, but I do! How dare you speak down to him because of where he came from. He is a Hijikata-end of story! I will not allow such cruel behaviour from any of you, as the head of this household and the brother of this boy. Understand?" 

All fell silent. The only noise to break that silence was when Hana, one of the sisters, dumoed her napkin on the table and stood up from her meal. 

"If you'll excuse me, I'm feeling too nausious to eat". 

She left, as well as many others sitting at the table. They all left, aside from the grandmother who remained seated in front of her meal. She may have been unaware that everyone had left, preconscious due to age. Or maybe she was the most accepting out of everyone else... 

"Toushiro...". Tamegoro sounded discouraged by their lack of acceptance and disdainful words, but..."Keep your chin up. I'm still here, see? Your my little brother, okay? I won't leave you alone, I promise". 

Tamegoro let go of Toushiro's shoulders, leading him to the dining table. Toushiro was hesitant, having been labeled a complete outsider by his blood relatives; people who were supposed to be family. But Toushiro was once again left back at the beginning, with only one person to look after him and support him. 

... 

Toushiro hardly touched his food, but did not want to be excused and accidentally bump into one of the family members. Tamegoro was a sharp man who had noticed Toushiro's sour look. He couldn't help but feel sorry for the boy and wanted to comfort him. 

"Hey, Toushiro, things will cool down eventually. You'll find some comfortability here with time, I'm sure-". 

"They hate me...". Toushiro murmered. "They all hate me, Big Brother...Even in such a big house, there's no room for me. They all...They hate me so much because my Father got close to Mother. Or maybe...Maybe she...". 

"You're not wrong, child". Out of ths blue, the old woman sitting close by spoke. She placed down her chopsticks with a trembling hand, staring at the wall as she continued. "Hate, I find, is a strong word. But I don't think you're wrong. Everyone else doesn't want a bastard child parading around such a prestigieous household with the name Hijikata. Instead of shutting up and getting used to it, they stubbornly cling onto the old ways. Us Hijikata's are like that, you see. Stubborn and bull-headed, hmph. If they see a single spec of filth on the family name-such as a scandal between the old master and his mistress-they'd do anything to get rid of it and polish it until it shined". 

"Grandmother, please...". Tamegoro made a frail effort to stop this old woman from saying any more. "Not you too...". 

"At my age, I don't have a lot to lose. A family name doesn't mean much to me, dear. I'm indifferent towards the boy, therefore I have no say in his presence as a Hijikata. Not like these grandchildren of mine would allow me to get a word in in the first place. If they feel it's necessary, they really will throw this child out to the dogs, if he's lucky-". 

Suddenly, Toushiro stood up from the table, his head bowed low, before dashing out towards the front entrance. 

"Toushiro...!" Tamegoro called out to him, also making a dash to catch up to him.

Carelessly, Toushiro ran straight for the front entrance, slipping on his sneakers with tying them. He staggered and nearly tripped over his shoe laces several times as he escaped from the house out of pure grief and anger. But who was he most angry at? The family? Tamegoro for his worthless efforts? Himself? No matter how he felt, however, Toushiro refused to shed tears in his moment of anguish. He refused to cry. He absolutely refused. In his escape, Toushiro ran down the path leading deeo into the forests. Through trees and steep hills, he sprinted the whole way with heaving lungs and a heavy burden over his head. Due to a loss of breath, he stopped just outside of the forests that led to a large lake, spreading across to the other side where farmland lay ahead. He panted heavily, taking his steps further towards the lake. A chill was in the air, a rather harsh one for summer. Toushiro sat down on the earth, once again bringing his knees up to his chest. 

("I don't belong anywhere..."). His thoughts echoed, his chest aching from both breathlessness and grief. Still stubbornly refusing to cry, Toushiro simply buried his face into his knees and mumbled repeatedly: "Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry...". Over and over. Toushiro thought he was losing his mind, wishing desperately for the nightmare to end already. He didn't want to be here...He wanted to be with his mother again...Even if it was just the two of them... 

"Toushiro...". 

Toushiro flinched, hearing his brother's voice approuch from behind. With a relieved tone, Tamegoro also let out a relieved sigh. He approuched further, sitting down beside Toushiro near the lake. 

"Nobody...". Toushiro muttered, his voice muffled by his shirt sleeves. "Nobody wants me here...Nobody...Nobody...". 

"That's not true, Toushiro. I want you here-we're family". 

"No we're not...Mom and I were a family...We were small-but we were happy. This...There's no way I can be happy here...No one will-". 

"That's enough. I don't care what the other's say, you're our child and my little brother. I'll protect you, Toushiro, okay? I will". 

"I can't ask you to do that. Maybe it would be better if I wasn't here at all. I'll leave-go anywhere, just...Not here...Even if I'm by myself, I'll...I'll go anywhere...". 

Toushiro, despite holding back tears, sounded greatly saddened. It had only been a day since his arrival and already he was on the verge of leaving by himself. He didn't want to be a part of this, a total outcast again. 

"If I stay, they'll hate you too, Big Brother...They'll hate you as well, so I have to get away before...before...!" 

"I said that's enough, Toushiro". 

"...". 

They were both quiet, at a loss for words. Tamegoro half-expected Toushiro to continue arguing back, but the tone he used must have left the boy unable to do so. He reached out, rubbing circles into Toushiro's back. He wasn't sure what to do at this point. Seeing Toushiro so lost and discouraged was almost painful. He had the power to persuade the rest of the family to, at the very least, treat Toushiro indifferently if they weren't going to treat him as family. But even so, Toushiro needed a proper family. He needed more than one person to look out for him when things got tough. Toushiro needed encouragement, not just comfort. He needed to be strong and man up so he could defend himself. But, first, a little boost from his elder brother. Looking out to the lake, the back to the earth, Tamegoro picker up an odd rock from the dirt. He stood up, putting on a faint smile. 

"Hey, Toushiro, wanna learn how to skip rocks?" 

"...?" Very slowly, Toushiro peered up at his brother, raising his head to meet eyes as the height difference was too great. 

"It's really easy, as long as you have a strong arm and a good wrist. Here, watch". 

Tamegoro pulled back his arm, a little further than expected, before launching the rock straight for the lake. It skimmed the surface of the water, bouncing rapidy along the calm current. Toushiro raised his head more, staring in amazement. 

"See? Pretty cool, huh? Ah, stand up and give it a shot". Once again, Tamegoro held out his hand to Toushiro, lifting him to his feet but refusing to let go before handing the boy his first rock. "Right. I'll show ya how it's done. Just hold the rock firmly, and pull your arm and even your body back-just a little". 

Toushiro recieved some assistance in order to get into position. He pulled his arm back as far as Tamegoro instructed and, when given the signal, threw the rock at the lake with force. Unfortunately it skipped one step across the surface before plopping and sinking to the bottom. 

"Not bad, but you'll need practice; work up the strength in your arms". Toushiro nodded, still appearing to be a little discouraged from earlier. Tamegoro crouched down, picking up another rock. "Hey, Toushiro, if you...If you stick around a while longer, I'll keep teaching you to skip rocks until it's perfect. Would you like that?" 

"...Well...". 

"It's alright that things didn't work out at first, but with some practice you'll get used to it and I'm sure that...you'll be able to skip rocks perfectly-maybe even better than I can". 

Toushiro smiled, although his eyes stared down at the ground bashfully. Tamegoro also smiled, pushing Toushiro's chin up gently. 

"And keep your chin up. As a Hijikata, you have to learn to hold your head up high no matter what. Keep your pride and don't lose to yourself-or anyone else-okay? Be strong". 

"Okay...I will". 

"Atta boy". 

Toushiro received another tousle to his hair. This gesture was so kind and gentle, but manly and encouraging at the same time. If he held his head high, Tamegoro believed that Toushiro could become a strong young man. Even if the others couldn't stand his presence, Tamegoro didn't intend to leave his little brother all alone. For as long as he could, it was his duty to protect him until Toushiro could protect himself, maybe longer than that. That was his intention, anyway. 

... 

... 

A few years went by since Toushiro's arrival. The rest of the family treated him with indifference whereas Tamegoro was kind and always encouraged Toushiro. No one else under the same roof could understand Tamegoro's affinity for his little brother; this sense of understanding him without empathy. Whenever Tamegoro had free time, he dedicated it to helping Toushiro with homework-as he was now home-schooled-or taking him out for long walks just to converse and skip rocks, to which Toushiro had practised with every opportunity. It had been about three years, and not a lot had changed between him and the family. He was still a parasite, a thorn in the side of the "legitimate" Hijikata children. But instead of insulting him, pushing him further and further away, Toushiro was merely kept at a distance that only Tamegoro approuched. And that was fine. Toushiro could safely say he was somewhat happy with that. 

"You're really growing up, Toushiro. Eleven already, huh?" 

It was one of their conversations among many, each one catching Toushiro out of his deep sea of thoughts in order to respond to his big brother. The grip he had on his elder brother's hand was tight, keeping the same pace as they walked down a clear path, around the rice farms that Tamegoro kept. He looked around, amazed by the clear orange sky. Another, brighter summer this year. 

"You've gotten a little taller too, huh? If I'm not careful, you'll be as big as me one day". 

"Hm? Yeah, maybe...Hey, Big Brother, I was wondering...When I'm old enough, I wanna leave this place with you. We can go anywhere and be a family together". 

"Hah, yes, that does sound like a nice thought, Toushiro. But my place is here, looking after the family and the house. If one day you need to spread your wings and fly, I'm not going to stop you, now am I?" 

"...But...I wanted to go with you. I think I'd be alright by myself, but it would be no fun without my elder brother". 

"You are a sweet boy, and it appears you have become more independent since you came here but that's something that happens to most of us, Toushiro". 

"Most? You mean Father wasn't very independent". 

"Hm, so sharp...Just like your mother. Yes, Father was never the independent type. He relied heavily on his wealth and the workers hired for the farm. I do not mean to speak ill of Father, but it cannot be helped due to the circumstances he left us both in. The inheritance was left so suddenly to me, and the most experience I had was through observing the workers and reading books from our library. But I worked alongside those people and got to know them as friends". 

"Hm...It may sound bad, but I'm kinda glad I never met my father. I'm old enough to understsnd the relationship he had with Mother, and from what I've heard around the house, he was a useless man who didn't take a lot of responsibility. You're far more responsible, Big Brother. If it were possible, I would have rahter had a man like you be my father. B-but I'm happy that your my brother and-...ah...". 

"It's alright. If you seem me like a father-figure, I don't mind. Everyone keeps telling me that I'm near marriage age, but truth be told I can wait for such things. A few of our brother's and sisters are running off to get married, have children and live their own lives. That's their choice, but I have no intention of getting married too soon. I believe in falling in love first". 

"Mom did too...She said I should try to find something like that when I'm ready". 

"Did she now? Well, I'm sure any girl would fall for a charming young man like you, Toushiro. One day you'll find it, I'm sure". 

Toushiro turned his head away, embarrassed. He had never really thought about it, especially at his age. And there was plenty of time anyway. Noticing Toushiro's silence, Tamegoro let go of his hand and, instead, picked him up by his waist and sat Toushiro down on his shoulders. 

"W-woah! B-Big brother...!" 

"See, you can see a little more of the farmland from there. How is it?" 

Toushiro glanced to and beyond the acres of rice, leading all the way to one of the many lakes. It glowed and shone in the sunset, sparkling beautifully underneath the skyline. Amazing...It was amazing... 

"It's beautiful...". 

"Isn't it? Come on, we'll keep going until we get back home". 

"Hey, Big Brother, can we...take our time getting home--u-unless this is hurting you or anything!" 

"It's not. You've grown, but you're not heavy. Sure, let's take our time to admire the scene while it's in front of us".

Toushiro couldn't take his eyes off of the landscape that stretched far and wide. Atop his brother's shoulders, Toushiro felt as though he could see everything. His world didn't seem so small anymore, especially when thinking about travelling to new places. If he could leave the household, then he could find happiness elsewhere. But to leave with his brother, Toushiro would already be happy. At such a young age, it would feel like an adventure with his only real family. That was who Tamegoro was: Toushiro's only family. Having being in his company so often, Toushiro didn't let the weight of lonliness drag him down. Having Tamegoro-and only him-was enough to keep him on the surface. Maybe that wasn't a good thing, but it was all he had for the longest time. It was all he had... 

... 

It was a shame to return to the household so soon, but night would soon fall and Tamegoro didn't intend to keep Toushiro up too late. He put him down, raised him off his shoulders and gently placed him on the floor of the entranceway to remove his sneakers. 

"Toushiro, why don't you think about heading to bed already? Get a good night's rest?" 

"Aw, really? Well...okay. I am kinda tired. I'll get ready for bed, then". 

"I should be there in a second to wish you goodnight". 

"You don't have to do that anymore. I'm eleven years old already". 

"...! Hm, yeah, you are. Well, then, you can wish yourself goodnight, and I'll see you in the morning". 

"Okay. See you tomorrow, Big Brother". 

Toushiro rushed to his bedroom, heading to bed as soon as possible. It couldn't hurt to sleep in a little earlier. Tamegoro slipped off his shoes, watching Toushiro go. As he did, he briefly thought about how much Toushiro had matured in such a short amount of time. He was growing up to be like any other Hijikata: strong and independent, but kinder and a little more gentle deep down. Tamegoro couldn't remember the last time someone in the family had such traits altogether. For that family in particular, it was an unusual mixture. The only place he could have picked up those traits were from... 

"Oi, Tamegoro". Tamegoro glanced to one of the doors when a voice called out to him quietly. It was one of his brothers that stood behind it, peering though. "Can I speak to you for a moment? It has nothing to do with the child, I can assure you. It's about the string of thief activity in the nearby town". 

"...I'm listening". 

The door opened, and the brother stepped out, peering across the hallway to ensure the coast was clear. He approuched Tamegoro, arms crossed. 

"I got word that they're planning to burn down the town and make way with whatever they deem valuble during the chaos-just a bunch of thugs, if you ask me. I gained the attention of the authorities and they're currently investigating their wherabouts". 

"Good. Those thugs would know about this place, and if they ever reached here...I fear for everyone's safety". 

"Tch, by everyone you mean the brat too". 

"He is not a brat. His name is Toushiro Hijikata-and I would protect him even at the risk of my own life". 

Tamegoro's younger brother held a look of disdain, clicking his tongue in annoyance once more. 

"Y'know, we Hijikata's are a stubborn and bull-headed bunch, and I know you critisise us for it. But, you should know that your level of stubborness is equal to foolishness when it comes to that half-blooded parasite. Is he really worth it over the rest of us?-The children who share the exact same blood as you when that brat has filth flowing through his veins?" 

"Of course he's worth it. And I thought I told you to stop talking that way about him. It's not his fault. I can't see how none of you realise that". 

"He's trouble, leaving a rotten scar on the Hijikata name-Do you know that we're the talk among the other rich folk and town's people? Huh? That little shit has done this, because you decided to bring him here in the first place". 

"He's still our child. And I thought I already made things clear: it's not his fault. He's an innocent boy who's trying to find his way. You're all too blind to see that". 

Tamegoro walked away from the conversation, heading down the hallway with nothing but his brother's gaze to follow him. 

"If anything, you're the one who is blind, Tamegoro...". 

... 

Night soon fell, and all was quiet for a while. Toushiro had managed to fall asleep earlier than expected after some light reading. Before he knew it he woke up with his book still in his hands and the covers of his futon draped over his body. Tired, he let out a yawn and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. It was probably quite late already, which told him to get back to sleep. That's what he should have done, that's what he intended to do. Realising how late it must have been, Toushiro curled up under the covers once more, closing his eyes when, suddenly, an unsubtle noise emitted from outside the hallway; like metal or tin rolling on the ground for a moment. The noise ceased very suddenly, cut off by someone's hand. When listening very intently, Toushiro could hear harsh whispering. 

Curious, and a little anxious, Toushiro sat up to inspect the noise with caution. He had a very bad feeling and, if need be, he could try and get help from Tamegoro. Very slowly, Toushiro got up from his bed and snuck out into the hallway. It was still dark, which was not a god sign. If a member of the family was wandering around, there would be no harm in lighting up their own home unless they didn't want to get caught-for whatever reason. He crept his way through the hall, following the distant creaks of footsteps until they stopped. Toushiro also came to a halt, hugging the wall in order to stay out of sight. He listened again. 

"Holy shit, look at this stuff". An unfamiliar voice spoke: a man's. "These guys really are rich, huh?" 

"Told ya. Never thought they's call on the cops to try and find us. Wonder who sold us out...Tch, we'll find the son of a bitch eventually. For now, their lack of secrecy gives us the perfect excuse to rob this place". There were several voices... 

"Haha, damn right it does". 

"Will you morons shut the hell up and get a move on?" Three... 

"He's right. You two idiots need to shut yer trap before we get caught". Four men... 

"Pff, we won't, relax. I'm sure the family are already out their tryin' to save the precious farmland that we burned down". 

They were reckless and defintely insane. They burned down the farm? 

"And the village. Don't forget that". 

"It's a town, idiot. What, you think we're livin' in the Edo period?" 

"Same difference. Let's just get a move on already and pack whatever we can before they come back. That fire should keep everyone distracted, huh?" 

They burned down the farm, had the whole town set abalze, and were now robbing the Hijikata household for valubles. These men were the lowest of the low. Toushiro had to get help, carefully. He had to get outside, perhaps, find Tamegoro or any help for that matter. He decided to head for the back door, away from these thugs. He snuck off down the hallway, trying hus hardest not to make a sound. He looked back, just to make sure, and then turned forward as he went around the corner. He froze in place, his heart stopping suddenly, for a mere second. 

"...!" 

"Oh, shit...". Another man stood before him, an expensive vase in hand. He panicked, his lips trembling for a moment upon seeing Toushiro standing before him. "Oh shit!" He cursed again, smashing the vase against the floor in order to get out a knife from his back pocket. "Guys! There's a kid in here!" He called out to the other four men, approuching Toushiro slowly. 

"What?! Fuck! Don't leave him alive! No witnesses!" 

"No problem-...?! Oi!" 

Toushiro didn't wait around, trembling in fear. He ran through the hallway on his right, heading straight for an exit of some kind. But the men behind him gave chase. He could hear multiple footsteps stampeding their way through the darkened halls. They were getting closer quickly...Toushiro wasn't fast enough to outrun them. With very little choice, Toushiro turned another corner, bumping into the wall blindly before collapsing down a couple of steps that led to an unfamiliar room. It was so dark, he couldn't regognise any of the silhouettes. 

"He ran in here!" 

He was cornered. Scared and disoriented, Toushiro tried to get out of the room, but was left with no exit whatsoever as the men had followed him into the darkness. Toushiro thought he could find away around them, or maybe he could find something to defend himself with. However both possibilities were very slim, given the sudden circumstances. He rushed to the other side of the room, only to be grabbed half-way. 

"Gotcha...!" 

A sharp, shing object was the only thing Toushiro could see in such dim ligthing; a knife. The man had a knife. Desperate, Toushiro struggled in his grasp, instinctively biting the man's hand before he could raise the blade. Crying out ih pain, the man droppes his weapon ane kicked Toushiro to the wall. It was blunt and painful as Toushiro struck the wall with full force. He collapsed to the ground, weak at the knees from the sudden impact. 

"Little shit...!" 

"Since when did they have a kid?!" 

"Hah, must be the rumored bastard child that they've been tryin' to keep under wraps. Ha, not. Everyone knows about this little parasite by now. For a family like this, I doubt they'd miss a single, diseased little flea...the runt of the litter". 

"That's right. If anything, we'd be doing them a favour". 

"Here that kid? You'll be making a lot of people happy if ya just disappeared. Us, your family, everyone around you would be better off without you. Hah...But, if it makes ya feel better, my parents weren't too fond of me either. I'll put ya outta your misery, and everyone else's". 

The man raised up his knife, the blade glinting within the darkness. Toushiro lay still, winded and weak in his legs. But in his mind and heart, he didn't want to give up. 

("No...It's not true..."). His thoughts echoed. ("Big Brother...Big Brother is...!") 

The man drew closer with all the others watching the scene. Too frightened to move, Toushiro squeezed his eyes shut, shaking like any normal child would. He didn't want to believe that he was all alone, because he had Tamegoro. He had his elder brother...A man who was kind and loving...The only person to ever truely love Toushiro after his mother died. There was no one else...He was the only person-But Toushiro wasn't alone. He wasn't...He wasn't...! 

"Gah! What the fuck?! Get off-!" 

"Gaaaah!" 

There was a sudden ruckus, a panic, and then a scream. Toushiro opened his eyes suddenly, then came the dull, limp thud to the ground. Before Toushiro lay a man's body. Taking a very quick look around him, all the other men remained standing with panicked looks in their eyes. Through the darkness, Toushiro could see the glint of the knife that was about to strike him. Clearly, even within the shadows, Toushiro could see that it was dripping with crimson blood. 

"T-...Toushiro...". The man before him groaned in pain. That voice... 

"...! Big...Big Brother!" 

Toushiro went for his brother, who appeared to have saved him in the last moment. Toushiro took a look at his face, to which Tamegoro was hiding away. Very faintly, a huge gash ran over his eyes and blood gushed out, leaving him blinding by blood and pain. Toushiro shivered in fear, realising what those men had done...What he himself had caused...There was fear, then anguish and finally...rage. Pure, hot-blooded rage. 

"Big Brother...I...I'm so sorry...I...I...!" Toushiro looked straight towards the men, who saw the look on this boys face. They didn't know what to think, but Toushiro had a good-although disoriented-idea about what was to come next. "I'll...I'll kill you...". He murmered, coldy, picking up the fallen knife from the floor. His hand trembled upon weilding something with such weight but this was disregarded in an instant. "I'll kill you...Kill you, kill you, kill you...Haa...I'll kill you all! I'LL KILL YOU BASTARDS! DIE!" 

As Toushiro lept forward, knife in hand, everything suddenly blacked out and all senses numbed. And the next time he gained consciousness... 

... 

Blood...There was blood spread everywhere, right before Toushiro's eyes. Trembling bodies scattered the floor. His hand was also trembling, a sticky residue covering the palm of his tiny hand. His eyes were wide, his chest heaving breathlessly. In a dazed state, Toushiro stood still and stared blankly at the bodies of the men. How...There was no way he could do this...Not even with an adrenaline boost out of pure anger and hatred. He didn't want to believe it...That thought only crossed his mind as the boy slowly regrained conscious and rational thoughts. Each breath he took quivered, and the fear took over. In the midst of it all, he barely noticed the people rushing into the room with gasp and cries of terror. 

"Oh my god! Tamegoro!" 

"Tamegoro...!" 

Two people rushed in, to their brother's side while Toushiro stood still in fear. He could feel the many glares dig into his back like razor blades, each one judging him as harshly as before. "He did this", they all said. That's whst their glaring eyes said... 

"Oh god...All of their eyes have been slashed, including Big Brother's...". 

"Is he alive?!" 

"Only just. We have to call an ambulance, now! And...And get that knife away from that...that fucking monster!" 

Monster...Monster...? 

Tamegoro was taken out of the room, and Toushiro was left all alone in the room. Out of everyone to approuch him, it was the Grandmother to kneek in front of him and take away the knife from his trembling hand. 

"...They'll never accept you now, child. You will always be a thorn in this family's side for...simply being born. I know it's unfair, but there's absolutely nothing left for you now. Is there? Is there..."Thorny Toshi"? Hm? I thought so...". 

The old woman stood up, walking past Toushiro and back into the hallway. Nothing left...Sirens echoed from outside, approuching the house one by one. The blank state of Toushiro's mind returned and he was left ina total daze. There was nothing left for him anymore. He was...They thought he nearly killed Tamegoro...It was his fault-all his fault. Over and over these thoughts ceased to fall silent in Toushiro's anguish and moment of fear. This time there was no ray of light, no hope. He had nothing. For the first time, Toushiro had to accept his lonliness, that he had no place to go, nowhere to belong...He was truely alone in the world...All alone...Alone...But did the tears come? No...No, they didn't. But holding them back was far more painful than he thought. Just as much as his lonlihess did... 

... 

Five Years Later... 

... 

It hurt, but it was always better to stay standing for as long as possible. Hijikata knew that these punches hurt them more than they hurt him. He kept his head held high, throwing punch after punch, kick after kick and even a headbutt at some point while the two guys in the distance watched with amusement. Even when he already had healihg injuries, Hijikata continued to pick fights with too much confidence for his own good. As the guy before him-badly bruised but still standing-threw a punch, aiming for Hijikata's face, it was only a matter of ducking underneath his fist only to come back up with an uppercut. Hijikata struck the thug squarely in the jaw before he was held back by the others, who seemed to have gotten up. An iron bar was forced towards Hijikata's neck, his back hitting the guy's chest. Two of the other men came at him, fists at the ready. They were all beaten up pretty badly, which must have been an embarrassment-having only gone up against one man. He was a teenager to boot. 

As the two others approuched, Hijikata made a quick escape, swinging his elbow into the man behind him. With one heavy swing, the man released Hijikata from the iron pipe, allowing him to deal with the two others-with more punching. Although his arms and legs were losing all energy, Hijikata managed to break a guy's nose and send the other to the ground by striking hus leg. Before long, all the men surrounding Hijikata had given uo in trying to knock him out. They scowled, humiliated. With time to rest-this fight declared over-Hijikata spit out blood that had come from his teeth. Luckily they were all still intact, although hus face and body was badly beat up. 

"Damn it...What the fuck is with this kid?" One of the guys mumbled to another. 

"There were rumors about a demon roaming around, pickin' street fights, but I always just imagined it to be some stuoud kid. Well, haha, I was half right...". 

"Oi, you bastards admit defeat?" Hijikata finally spoke up, wiping away the blood from his lip. 

"Sure. Whatever, kid. Oi, Masumi, you made a bet, now pay the kid". 

The two men, who had been spectating this whole time, approuched Hijikata. One of them looked reluctant to approuch as he reached into his back pocket. He was taking out his wallet, of course. Hijikata was able to catch his breath, watching the losers leave the scene to get patched up. 

"Damn it...You're good, kid. So good, it's scary". The man took out ten-thousand yen from his wallet, as promised. 

"Yeah, how did ya get that strong?" The other man was elated, thankful that he placed his bets of an amatuer kid like Hijikata to win against three guys. Like he had much choice in the beginning. 

"I've...been fighting for a while, moving around as much as possible to train myself". 

"Wow...How old are you?" 

"Sixteen...". Hijikata took the money, placing it inside his own back pocket for safe keeping. 

"Really? Quite young for a guy who fights for money. If you wanted, you could always travel to the red light district in Tokyo and sell your body instead. Take away the cuts and bruises, and you're quite handsome: fair skin, long, silky hair, nice blue eyes. I'm sure there are plenty of perverts who would pay good money to spend time with you". 

"No thanks. I think I'd rather be beaten to a pulp than become something like that. You'd never catch me spreading my legs for some pervert; I'm not that desperate". 

"Ah, well. It's your life, kid. But if I were you, while I had the chance, I'd think about going to high school and college. You seem smart, although your way of earning income is a little stupid". 

"It's all I know. I doubt any high school will take on a kid like me". 

"Why's that?" 

"Look at me. All I'm fit for is causing trouble. Put me in a school with a bunch of dudes who think they're tough shit and I'll prove 'em wrong. Doing that several times over would get me expelled in a heartbeat". 

Hijikata stuffed his hands into his hoodie pockets, walking off with enough money to get a decent meal and maybe a place to sleep, if he could find it. This had been his life for the longest time, ever since that incident with his brother. He was kicked out of the household, nicknamed "Thorny". Tamegoro had very little to say in the matter, having all family members turn against Hijikata. After that incident, Tamegoro was blinded and his wealth went into a slump after the fire. Hijikata often sent letters, unable to receive a reply due to his constant movements arounds cities and districts. He had no home, therefore no address, after all. Since that time, all he could was send kind words and his best wishes. Of course he left out his method of getting by on a weekly basis. The money Toushiro earned from temporary part-time jobs and fights was enough to surive-just. But whenever he would return to a job covered in bruises after a fight, it was likely he would be fired and he had to move around again. It was life as he knew it. 

Being alone twenty-four-seven was something he grew accustomed to, and accepted himself as a loner. Things like school was out of the question, putting his intelligence and fast learning abilities to waste. To summarise Hijikata's situation, he was walking a foggy path in the middle of nowhere with no destination: lost and hopeless. Despite this he keot walking and survived. Giving up wasn't an option, ever. 

During the night, Hijikata headed to a cheap motel and rented a room for the night. That was the routine. And usually he would receive the same looks, the same words from the person behind reception. 

"Are you alright, kid? You look beaten up pretty badly". 

"Sorry, but it's no one's business. And I'm not a kid". 

"How old are you?" 

"Eighteen...". 

"Got an ID?" Already this process had become frustrating, after so many times. 

"I'm just staying for the night. Let me sleep in the janitors closet for all I care". 

"Hah, either you're quite tough or really stupid. Judging by those nasty marks on your body, I'd say the former. Haah, I hate to do this, but we're fully booked tonight". 

"Huh? You can't give me anything?" 

"Sorry. If you wanted to stay someplace, you're better off staying at the red light district in Tokyo. But there are a lot of perverts around there, men and women alike". 

"Dammit...Is there any place I could stay nearby?" 

"Not for a couple miles down the street. Hey, are you gonna be alright?" 

"I'll be fine...I'll just...Agh, I'll think of something". 

Hijikata had no choice but to turn around and start walking down the street again. This wasn't the first time he was denied a room at a motel. Although it spared him some money, he was left in the cold for a night without a shower or a bed. They usually kept first aid kits as well. So, for that night, he had to bear with the bleeding and the bruises until a pharmacy opened up the next morning. The streets, by now, lay empty. There wasn't a single sign of life for quite a ways. At least, Hijikata didn't see them at first. They approuched from behind, right in the middle of the street with clenched fists. Upon merely sensing their presence, Hijikata looked over his shoulder to see a group of men standing away from him, at a short distance. They all stared daggers at him, but Hijikata refused to feel intimidated. 

"Oi, you're the brat that's been going around, picking fights with groups of men for money, aren't you?" 

"...". Hijikata didn't speak, he simply stared right back at the men without a single reply. 

"Well, I guess we can tell by all those bruises that you've been in a recent fight. Probably not with one of our men, but...Heh, you've got real balls to go up against a local gang, huh?" 

When Hijikata started that fight-not to mention he won-he knew what he was getting himself into, but he hoped that it would go so far. The fact that the members of this gang had showed up before Hijikata begrudgingly could only mean that they wanted to continue this fight. 

"Oi, Tadashi, what're we waiting for? Let's just take the brat out". 

"He's right. This bastard would dare win against us in a fight-and for money". 

"He can't be that strong, especially since there's more of us". 

"Settle down, guys, we'll get 'em. Don't hold anything back, alright? Let's teach him a lesson". 

It was almost pitiful to see a gang go up against a sixteen-year-old man in the first place, underestimating him greatly. But now they had to clean up the mess out of humiliation? Pathetic...Hijikata deemed their actions to be pathetic. Did physical strength really matter if these assholes had to come for a re-match? Hijikata didn't argue, though. If they wanted a fight, to test their strength, then so be it. Sounded kind of fun, anyway. Hijikata put up his fists as the men approuched, a couple of them bringing out weapons such as a wooden baseball bat and an iron, rusted pipe. Pathetic...They were a pathetic excuse for a gang. Hijikata kept those words revolving in his mind as a motivation; a motivation to beat the shit out of these morons and win. Then perhaps they would give up. 

... 

Down the street, a man walked by himself, heading towards the path leading to the land below the mountains. He wasn't too far away, having worked at a store close to home. Varies thoughts roamed around his head carelessly as he turned the corner of the street. When he did, the man heard a cry from up ahead. It echoed among the empty streets, and caught the man off guard for a second. He was silent, his mind a blank as he listened. A few more cries echoed out, as well as some cursing. He looked up ahead, towards the end of the street, and narrowed his eyes. 

"What the...". He could just see it; a cluster of men brawling in the street. From what he saw, it looked like several against one. "Oh crap...Hey!" 

Feeling the need to break it up, the man sprinted towards the brawl in a brave attempt to stop it. If another person was being harrassed for no reason, then it was idiotic to think about standing by and doing nothing. However, as the man came closer and closer to the fight, he saw a few bodies collapse to the ground. The men in this fight were dropping like flies around this one person, who was now in the man's sights. He began to slow down, seeing that all the brawlers had been defeated except for this supposed victin in it all. Upon closer inspection, he was covered in bruises and had long, tied back hair. He stood still, his back slumoed over as he struggled to catch his breath. 

"H-hey...Are you alright?" It was natural to ask this man, who was covered in scratches and bruises, as well as blood. "What the hell happened here?" 

"None of your business". The victim in all of this had a spiteful and reserved tone, spitting out blood, holding his ribcage with a groan of pain. 

"Sorry, but it is now. I'll call an ambulance". 

"Don't...!" Just when he was reaching cellphone, the man was abruptly stopped by the victim. "Don't...N-no, haa...No ambulance...". 

"Hey, it's not for you. It's for these guys. You beat 'em up pretty badly". 

"Heh...Funny...Excuse me...I'll just be...I'll be on my-ghh!". 

"Oi...!" The reached out as the guy, covered in bruises, nearly collapsed to the pavement. Out of instinct, he was caught just in time, but remained weak in the knees. "You okay?" 

"I'm fine...Don't...Don't touch me...". 

"No can do. You're pretty beat up, even if ya did win against these guys. I'll get ya patched up, alright? Um, my name's Isao Kondo. What's-...". 

"I'm not...telling you shit...". 

"Haah...Fine...Be that way. But even if you don't tell me your name, I'm still gonna drag you to safety and patch you up. You'll be right as rain when I'm finished with you". 

Hijikata lost the will to argue back. This man...Isao Kondo...What was he thinking: trying to help a complete stranger in the middle of the night? Was he nuts or stupid? He was given Kondo's shoulder, dragging his feet down the path to god-knows-where. He felt dizzy and his muscles weighed down on him with pain and exhaustion. He was bleeding, cut bruised, and he could barely stand on his own two feet. But Hijikata was stubborn and didn't want any kind of help from this guy, whoever the hell he was. If he had little choice in the matter, then he could always get patched up and be on his way again. That was the plan. No point sticking around with a complete stranger who decided to unconditionally help some thug out of a brawl. Suxh a thihg would be a hassle for them both. 

... 

Hijikata had lost consciousness halfway through their slow walk. The next time he woke up, a groan escaped his lips as the pain returned to his ribs, his arms-everywhere, in fact. A dimly lit room lay in front of him, as well as...a girl? She was kneeling, dipping a cloth in a bowl of water. Remaining still and quiet, Hijikata observed her appearance. She was fairly pale, short hair and maroon eyes. She didn't look much older than Hijikata. From this perspective, it was clear that Hijikata was lying down, pillow under his head, still fully clothed. They must have missed the wounds on his torso and back. In the midst of thought, trying to recollect everything that happened until now, he had lost sight of himself and forgot that he was still staring at the girl. She reached out to him, damp cloth in hand before gasping and flinching away. 

"Haah! O-oh goodness...Y-you're awake...Haa...You nearly gave me a heart-attack just now". 

Hijikata didn't respond, he simply turned his head away weakly without apologising. He didn't know this girl at all, and he found it odd for her to smile it off. 

"Ah, Kondo-san is looking for our first-aid kit, and he told me to clean up the blood...You...Do you remember? He's the one who brought you here, to the dojo". 

"...Yeah, I remember". He responded, meekly. 

"Good. That, er, good...Um, excuse me, but can I clean the blood from your face? It'll only take a second and I'll be as gentle as-". 

"Do what you like...". Hijikata was careless with his use of tone, sounded cold and distant towards this girl. After five years, kind-hearted people were hard to come across. Therefore he treated everyone the same: with indifference. 

"Um, alright. Here goes...". 

The girl reached out once more, very gently turning Hijikata's head in her direction before the damp, cold cloth touched a spot on his temple. He winced in pain. 

"Nn...!" 

"Shoot! Sorry...I'll be more careful, but if it hurts then please bear with it". 

Although his head remained in place-facing this girl-Hijikata averted his eyes away from her face. She proceeded, dabbing the wet cloth over the blood and cuts to clean them. She was very gentle, trying her best to avoid hurting him. But sometimes it couldn't be helped if she struck a nerve or two. 

"Does your head hurt at all?" She asked. 

"Uh, a little...". He had sustained a headache from being punched too hard. Great... 

"Okay. Then when Kondo-san comes back, I'll grab an ice pack for you and some painkillers. That should help". 

"N-no there's no need for you to-". 

"Yes there is. Of course there is. If it helps you, then it's necessary to give you some painkillers and an ice pack for your head. After being hit so hard, that could create some serious problems like brain damage. N-not that I think you have brain damage! I just...!" 

"I know...I, I get it. Relax...".

A dull throbbing began to pollute his head and was immediatly an annoyance. Moaning in pain, Hijikata ran his fingers through his hair, powerless to cease the pain unless he received that painkiller and ice pack. Within seconds, the throbbing pain was already becoming somewhat unbearable. A second person had entered the room, unseen by Hijikata as his eyes were shut tight. But he could hear their voice; that familuar voice that he had heard mere moments ago. 

"I'll take it from here. Thank you very much for your help, Mitsuba". 

"It's no trouble at all. I clean cuts and scrapes for Sou-chan all the time. Uh, I'm going to pick up an ice pack for his head. Do you have any painkillers?" 

"Yeah, in the med kit. But I suppose an ice pack would help him too". 

"That's what I thought. I'll be right back". 

The woman left, and this man...Kondo stayed with a medical kit at hand. He kneeled down by Hijikata's side, opening up the small box. 

"Let's see here...I think we should deal with any wounds on your torso first, since you got quite a few injuries there. Then we can see about those bruises and cuts on your face. We can wait for Mitsuba to return with an ice pack. No doubt she'll also bring a glass of water so you can take those painkillers". 

"I don't need water-gh!" Hijikata sat up steadily, but the pain still coursed through his body and head. "Just...gimme the painkillers right now...Please...". 

Kondo sighed and shrugged, reaching into the first aid for a small bottle of capsules. He read the instructions carefully before taking out two of the pills and handing them over to Hijikata, who was eager to swallow them and get rid of the pain quickly. 

"Take it easy. Those pills are gonna clog your throat if you're not careful, but don't say I didn't warn you", 

One at a time, Hijikata gulped down the pills, coughing as they slowly slid down his throat. He covered his mouth, resisting the urge to regurgitate by accident. In other words: throw them up after being so hasty. 

"See...?" Kondo gave Hijikata's back a good slap, which was as good a method as any to help him swallow the pills properly. "Man, you're a piece of work, aren't ya? I'm afraid you might bite me if I try to bandage you up". 

"...What, you think I'm some ferile beast?" 

"Nah. You just have that look in your eyes, and a really deep furrow in your brow. You'll get wrinkles if ya don't learn to smile every so often". 

"...". Hijikata averted his gaze away, disapproving such advice. 

"Come on, we should get your clothes off if we wanna deal with those wounds. For all we know, you could have a few broken ribs". 

"N-no, I-". 

"In your condition, I wouldn't argue. I'd feel bad if I let ya walk outta here in such a state. Now sit still. I'm only going to remove your hoodie". 

Hijikata was reluctant, but had very little choice by this point. If he was patched up quickly, the quicker he could leave this place. So, he sat still, as he was told and allowed Kondo to pull up his hoodie until it was off. There a few dull aches and pains here and there, mostly from his ribs and stomach after being kicked and punched in the gut so many times before. He was no doctor, so healing himself was both awkward and difficult. A few gashes-likely from knives-as well as cuts and bruises marked Hijikata's body. Some bruises were brown, others were purple-therefore quite recent. A few cuts were closing up while there remained an odd scar or two. Kondo looked over every single mark, bewildered and even shocked. He couldn't comprehend how someone so young could receive so many wounds as if he had been through a war zone for most of his life. 

Bashful, Hijikata covered himself up a little with his arms, which were also cut and bruised. He tried to hide his embarrassment by staring off into the corner of the room with a cold expression. He didn't appreciate being stared at by a stranger. Who would feel comfortable? Not many people would. 

"Holy...That's quite a collection of wounds, huh? Well, I'll cover 'em up for you. They should disappear if you let them heal, and that requires lots of rest and less fighting. Got it?" 

"Whatever you say...". 

Kondo wrapped up Hijikata wounds in bandages, covering up half of his torso from his abdomen to just below his chest. That secured his ribs, in case they were broken. Kondo then wrapped up Hijikata's arms in bandages, using band aids to seal them. Hijikata sat still, bearing with the slight pain that would hopefully fade away under the painkiller's effects. A square band aid was stuck across Hijikata's cheek, which was marked with a bigger bruise than the rest. A small cut just above his right eyebrow was also covered up. Deemed officially patched up, Kondo gave a smile towards Hijikata. 

"There you go, all fixed up. Now we wait for that ice pack and you can get some sleep". 

"W-woah, wait...If you think I'm going to hang around here, I-". 

"You need rest. Once you sleep tonight, you can walk out if you really want to. But if I feel like you should stay a little longer then I suggest you should. Wouldn't want those gang members finding you again". 

"Tch...". Hijikata clicked his tongue in annoyance. Kondo had a point. Even Hijikata acknowledged his weakened state. If he walked out onto the street like that, he would get pummeled. 

"A futon is already laid out for you, so wait patiently for Mitsuba to return and get a good night's sleep". 

Kondo headed for the sliding door, leaving Hijikata to ponder something that had began to bother him. What started it was this man's smile. 

"Hey, why...Why are you doing this? What do you want?" 

"Hm...?" Kondo turned around once more, puzzled. "Why? Why, indeed. We don't know eachother. In fact, we're complete strangers with no family ties or anything of the like. You'd fit in perfectly here, y'know. Most of us were strangers once, now I can say we're...like family. We don't turn a blind eye to people walking down a narrow path". Kondo turned around again, heading for the door. But, once again, was stopped. 

"Hijikata...My name...It's Toushiro Hijikata". Kondo looked over his shoulder, smiling, welcoming Hijikata like he would a friend. 

"It's nice to meet you. I think I'll call you "Toshi". You can just call me Kondo, okay?" 

"...Sure...Kondo-san...". 

Kondo gave a nod, finally exiting the room. When all fell silent, and Hijikata was left alone, he brought his knees up to his chest, folded his arms and hid his face away. 

("What the hell am I doing...?") He pondered to himself, irritated. 

The plan was to leave as soon as he rested. Getting too comfortable in one place was always a bad idea, so Hijikata never stuck around. After spending the night in plenty of motels, or alleyways, Hijikata knew better than to stay grounded for more than one night. It was always a case of spending the night and leaving as soon as possible, clean and cut. Even in such a cosy place, Hijikata refused to stay. 

"Um, are you feeling alright?" Hijikata immediatly raised his head, surprised as he did not hear the door slide open. That girl had returned with a try in hand. She had flinched when Hijikata reacted. Seeing him so startled put a smile on her face as if to clarify how silly he was being, keeping up such a high defense. "Ah...I brought an ice pack and water for the pills. If you're up to it, we had some leftover rice crackers in the kitchen, too". 

"Th-thanks, but I already took the pills". 

"Without water? That's brave. I remember Sou-chan tried to take a painkiller without water and he hurt his throat quite badly". The woman, Mitsuba, kneeled down beside Hijikata and offered the glass of water to him anyway. He accepted, thanking her once more. "I've never seen someone with so many injuries before. Are you feeling better?" 

"Once the painkiller kicks in I should be fine". 

"And once you sleep on it. Let's just hope the medicine doesn't keep you awake. Er...May I ask what your name is?" 

"...There's no point learning it. I don't plan on sticking around, so...". 

"I'd still like to know. Please?" This girl maintained a gentle aura, her smile radiating kindess. So much so that Hijikata felt uncomfortable and out of place around her sweet and gentle aura. "I'm Mitsuba Okita. See, now I introduced myself, why don't you do the same? I'd like to know who you are". 

"...Toushiro Hijikata". Mitsuba's smile brightened up, a satisfied and cheerful expression on her face. 

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Toushiro-san". 

"Yeah...I guess so, Mitsuba-san". 

"Oh, no. You have my permission to call me Mitsuba". 

"Oi, I barely know you. Without at least a honorific, doesn't it feel kinda...". 

"It's okay, really. But if you do feel uncomfortable with using it, then any honorific is fine too". 

A foreign feeling crossed Hijikata in both mind and his cheeks. It was warm, but felt incredibly awkward. Averting his eyes away seemed to ease it a little. Thoughts that he had never had before roamed his mind freely, this sense of acknowledging how sweet this girl was, not to mention pretty. Anyone could recognise these details, but Hijikata personally didn't want to. Doing so was awkward and uncomfortable especially when she was being so considerate. It had been years since Hijikata's thoughts or feelings were put into consideration. 

"If you're hungry, you can have these rice crackers. Saito, one of the other boys living here, made them. He's a good cook, so there shouldn't be a problem with them. Although I wouldn't mind having something a little spicier". 

The tray of rice crackers was nudged closer towards Hijikata's side before Mitsuba took this as cue to stand up and leave Hijikata to rest. She slid open the door, turning to look over her shoulder and offer a smile and a wish for a goodnight's sleep to Hijikata. 

"Have a good night. I'll...If you don't leave too soon, I'll see you tomorrow". 

She left, and the room was silent once more; for good this time. Hijikata picked up a rice cracker from the tray, staring at it for a moment with uncertainty. One of the main rules in life was to refuse anything from strangers, but that was common knowledge. Already Hijikata had broken such a rule by accepting a stranger's aid, by accepting their offer to spend the night. One of the worst things to accept from a stranger was food. No matter how people acted on the outside, there had to be an ulterior motive somewhere inside their corrupted selves. But...That girl...Mitsuba's smile was too kind to be fake. And that man's words...Kondo...There were more people living under the same roof, similar to Hijikata and one of them, Saito, was apparently a good cook. Anxious, but willing to step out of his comfort zone by a single step, Hijikata took a bite of the rice cracker and chewed. It cracked and crunched, tasting better than he expected. Upon swallowing, Hijikata furrowed his brow, tossing the half-eaten cracker back onto the tray before hiding himself with the futon. 

"Goddammit...". He mumbled. 

... 

The sunlight cue was what woke Hijikata up. By then, the pain around his head and ribs had vanished overnight, fading into nothingness. He couldn't get it out of his head that the painkiller was what helped. It was a relief, actually, as Hijikata had suffered a couple days of pain circulating in his bones and muscles without any kind of painkiller to ease it. Then there was the warm bed and bandages to help his body heal and rest. Even when all had been said and done, when he acted shrewd towards those who helped him, Hijikata was grateful to that man and that woman. 

Staring up at the ceiling, Hijikata knew he had to leave soon. Being awake, this was a perfect time to get up and go. On the opposite side of one door, leading to a hallway, there lay another door that led outside. He had no idea where this was exactly, but then again Hijikata had no destination in mind. All he had to do was leave, even if he couldn't see that woman again. Hijikata stared at his exit, tempted to walk out. That was the plan. Despite this, however, Hijikata remained still under the warmth of this futon. For a moment he convinced himself that his injuries would start aching again if he got up too fast, or if he got up at all. From this, his reluctance to leave right this instant was evident in his excuses to stay put. For that, he was irritated with himself. 

"Dammit...Fine, I'll leave. I will just-...!" The door leading into the hallway slid open suddenly, causing Hijikata to sit up immediatly as if he was ready to get up and leave. "I was just leaving! I-...Uh...". He had expected Mitsuba to walk in. However, to his surprise, it was Kondo who walked in with a tray in hand and a puzzled look on his face. 

"Oh, were you about to leave? I came over to serve you som breakfast, seeing as you haven't really eaten anything, have you?" 

"Ah, well...If you went to that much trouble, then I won't leave...yet". 

"Oh, good to hear. I doubt your injuries are fully healed anyway, so maybe you should stay put". 

Kondo kneeled down in the same spot as Mitsuba, laying out the tray on the floor. There was a bowl of rice, a bowl of miso soup and a plate of tamegoyaki set out on the tray, freshly made as thin swirls of steam drifted into the air from each dish. It smelled good too, the faintest scent from the food provoking a low growl from Hijikata's stomach. 

"Eat up, gain your strength. Saito prepared it, so you know it's good". 

"Sorry to ask but...". Hijikata began as he picked up the bowl of rice and a pair of chopsticks. "Who is this Saito?" 

"He's one of our more quiet members here. You'd recognise him right away from his big, orange afro and mysterious aura. But he's a nice guy; honest". 

"You, or that woman Mitsuba, mentioned before that this place is a dojo...". 

"Ah, yes. This place used to be an old dojo for "aspiring samurai" to learn the way of the sword. But now it's more of a squat for young, former hoodlums looking to find their way in life. Kinda like ronins, only without parents instead of lords or masters". 

"I see...Then I suppose I would fit in perfectly here". 

"We all do, having come from similar backgrounds". Hijikata nodded along, his mind blank. It seemed he wasn't a total outcast. These people were in simliar situations, or they used to be. But that wasn't to say Hijikata planned to stay for those reasons. "So, how are you feeling?" 

"I'm alright. Don't think I'll stick around too long, although I appreciate your help and hospitality". 

"It's no problem. You're not the first injured guy that I dragged in here, and you're not the first to leave afterwards. Some choose to stay because this is the only place that feels like home to guys like us. We're reckless and idiotic. Although those are some negative traits, it connects us together. We're like a family here". 

"You did say so before..."Family", huh?" 

Hijikata never had the chance experience having a family-not for long, anyway. His mother died of illness while Hijikata was very young and then he was kicked out of his only other home, pushed away from his elder brother by blood relatives that didn't love him. Family, to him, was impossible to keep a hold of. It never lasted. Quietly, with not another word to add, Hijikata gratefully nibbled away at the meal in front of him, taking small amounts of rice between his chopsticks as well as sipping the miso soup. The first properly prepared meal he had in years yet he had no desire to wolf it down. He savoured each bite, feeling a little self-conscious. 

"Say, Toshi...". Kondo interupted the silence, as well as Hijikata's hazy train of thought. "We often practice things like martial arts here, since there are no swords. We all hope to one day travel to Tokyo and make something of ourselves". 

"And...?" 

"Why don't you come along as see what it's like? We won't force you to partake, but watch instead. We have a lotta strong men here". 

"...I suppose I...could. I am kinda curious to see what this place is all about". 

"Great. I'll go get some spare clothes for you. I'm sure we have something in your size, although you are quite slender". 

"H-hey, there's no need-". 

"Of course there is. When you came here, your clothes were in tatters. Let someone extend their arm out to you every once in a while. A set of clean clothes and a meal is nothing compared to that. It's an act of kindess, and for you the only thing you should do is accept it. Don't be shy". 

"I-I'm not being shy...". 

"Your expression says otherwise. I'll be right back, so sit tight".

Kondo left the room once again, etching the image of his smile in Hijikata's mind. That kind expression was like an echo, once Hijikata had seen before. But those echoes in his mind faded into mere memories until now, when he was faced with a similar smile from a completely different person; a guy who had no blood relation to Hijikata, a stranger who...extended his arm out and pulled Hijikata up for no solid reason. It was an act of kindess, nothing more. That in itself was mind boggling. 

... 

With a clean set of clothes, lent to him by Kondo, Hijikata was finally led out of his room and into the hallway of this abandoned dojo. It was kept clean and decorated, surprisingly so. But Kondo explained that everyone was willing to pull their weight with whatever chores were available (putting any job involving the bathrooms aside). It was also mentioned that a few members of the dojo, including Kondo, were only old enough to attend high school as well as keep up training. One of them was only an elementary schooler, surprisingly enough. The main room for training wasn't fully packed yet. There was the instructor, who appeared to be middle-aged at the very least, and the elementary schooler that Kondo mentioned. He looked about six or seven years old, sporting a game face as he prepared for training. 

"Toshi, would you like to sit aside for now?" 

"Y-yeah, you go ahead". 

Kondo headed for the center of the room, greeting the kid by lifting him off the ground. The game face vanished, replaced by a big smile. Weird...Kondo must have been like a big brother to him. A big brother... Hijikata sighed, heading for the sliding doors that led outside. They were open, allowing the summer air to flow inside. Carefully, he sat down by the door, his back uo against it's frame. He glanced over at the training session, but also allowed his attention to wander towards the outside. Open spaces; that was as far as the eye could see. They appeared to be quite far into the mountains, looking down upon the city behind hills and acres of forests. Compared to the city, things were much brighter from up there. 

Hijikata listened in to every instruction that was called out to Kondo, that kid and a few other guys who decided to join. Hijikata had never picked up on certain moves while fighting. As lojg as he could throw punches and kicks, he didn't care as long as each hit meant he was the one still standing. However, curiosity drifted in and out of Hijikata's mind, bringing him to glance over at the lesson. Each man had built up a sweat with each passing minute, working hard. Hijikata didn't recognise this martial art, and didn't ask about it. All he wanted to do was observe and stay within their shadows. But, eventually, Kondo came over to Hijikata's side and sat down with him while resting. 

"Taking a break?" Hijikata asked, looking out towards the forests once more. 

"For a little while, then I'll be sure to get right back into it. You seemed to be watching quite intently? Interested?" 

"No, it's nothing like that. You brought me here to watch, and so I did". 

"But I didn't drag you here, did I? If you wanna join us one day, you're welcome to". 

"...No thanks. I'll pass". 

This kid was distant and unwilling to show a brighter side. But after seeing so many similar cases, by this point, Kondo wasn't surprised. He didn't know his background or who he was exactly, but he was eager to learn. Putting aside everyone else, Hijikata was interesting and Kondo honestly wished to get to know him a lot better. But it would take time. For a flower to bloom in Spring, it needed time to grow and adjust to it's environment before presented its petals. A weird metaphor, but an accurate one. 

"H-Hey, Kondo-san, come back and join us. We're just-...?" 

In the middle of their conversation, the kid came running up to Kondo specifically before stopping when his eyes met with Hijikata's. His brow furrowed; such a look provoking Hijikata to ask himself: "What did I do? What's he lookin' at me for?" 

"Ah, good timing. Toshi, this little rascal right here is Sougo Okita. He's the youngest here, but he has a lot of fight in him. Sougo, this is Toushiro Hijikata. He's kinda like the rest of us, being brought back here in need of bandages and a meal". 

Okita...He was Mitsuba's little brother, then. He should have guessed, considering the similarities in appearance, but Hijikata would soon find out that they were nothing alike in personality. 

"Oi, what're you doing hogging up all the space? I usually sit here with Kondo-san during a break". 

"I'm not hogging up any space. And it's just a coincedence that I'm sitting here. I couldn't have known that, kid". 

"Who the hell are you callin' kid?" This kid was building up his aggression, aiming it entirely towards Hijikata who had only been in this dojo for a night. "Kondo-san, come on. Let's leave this guy with the girly hair by himself if he's not gonna join". 

"Who're you callin' "girly" you brat?" Hijikata's aggression was building up just as much by this point. And he thought he had escaped insults that were aimed towards his long hair. 

"Now, now, settle down you two". Of course, Kondo came between them and calmed the anger between two people who had literally just met. "Sougo, Toshi is a guest here. Treat eachother nicely. Hasn't your sister always tried her best to raise you into a polite young man?" 

"She has, but...Can I make an exception for this bastard?" 

"Oii! What kinda kid talks like this?! I've known him for about a minute and he already hates me!" 

"No exceptions! If Mitsuba can get along with him, then you certaintly can". 

"Eh? My...My sister...?" 

"Yeah, she seemed to take quite a shine to Toshi". At those wholesome words, the feeling of being self-conscious corrupted Hijikata's thoughts again. He turned his head away, disliking Kondo's wording. 

"A shine? This guy and my sister? Pff, yeah right. She's kind to everyone but the only boy she really cares abot is me, her little brother". 

"You got a sister complex there, Shorty?" 

"Who do you think you're talking to?! I may be younger, but I'm more experienced here and that makes me your senior! So there!" Okita stuck out hs tongue, scrunching up his face in disgust. He was really childish... 

"You're not my senior, since I haven't agreed to join this dojo. I don't plan to...". 

"Tch, whatever...Kondo-san, are you coming?" 

"In a bit. You just keep practicing with everyone else. Your kicks are getting a lot stronger, so keeo it up". 

"Huh? But I prefer practicing alongside you". 

"I'm sure you can manage on your own. Despite your age, you're strong and you're growing uo fast. Can't expect me to watch over you in practice. If you ever end up in a real fight for self-defense, you can be sure I'll watch your back then. Now go on, before the lesson ends". 

Okita looked disappointed, sulking as he dragged hismfeet back to the center of the dojo to get back into a stance. He looked back, watching Kondo and the new guy continue to talk on, disregarding Okita. That guy...He held a straight expression as Kondo gave him all his attention. There was no way he had been in the dojo longer than a few hours; was what Okita thought. How the hell did he get to soak up all the attention and admiration from a man like Kondo? He...couldn't stand it. He couldn't stand it at all... 

... 

Although grateful, Hijikata knew he had prolonged his stay and had to leave. It was currently nearing the evening, when the sun was drifting away from the sky and into the horizon, when the sky turned orange and the clouds were painted a like pink in the skyline. He couldn't possibly stay much longer. He headed for the room in which he slept in the previous night to change into his filthy clothes, leaving the ones he was given to be folded and left to the side. However, when he entered the room, little did he exoect those clothes to be clean and folded neatly on the floor. The person who took the time out of their day for such a trivial task was kneeling right in front of them, and instinctively peered over her shoulder when the sliding doors opened. Mitsuba... 

"Oh, Toushiro-san...". She smiled kindly at him, although this caused him to feel somewhat uncomfortable. "Are you leaving?" 

"Y-yeah, I was...gonna. Er, you...My clothes...". 

"Sorry. I took the liberty of washing them. They were so filthy, so it's only right to wash away the stains. But I find that some of them are quite stubborn". 

"...Uh, well, thanks. I'll return these once I've changed". Mitsuba's smile vanished, a dis-heartened expression appearing to replace it. She stood, heading for the door. It seemed like the end until Mitsuba turned and said a few last words to Hijikata. It wasn't a good-bye, however. 

"...You know, you're welcome here for as long as you like. I know Kondo-san welcomes you, and I'm sure everyone else would if they met you". 

"...No thanks". 

It was odd; even with such coldly spoken words, Mitsuba smiled with understanding, although she was still dis-heartened by his eagerness to leave. 

"I see...I understand. Well, I...I hope you'll be okay. I have a feeling that, no matter how hard people try, you won't wash away, Toushiro-san. Kondo-san recognises everyone here as stains that will never rub off no matter how hard anyone tries. We stick together and stubbornly remain in this place we call home. If you so wished, you could be a part of that. It's on the table, so think about it while you're away. We've only just met, but I...I hope that you...". 

"Hey, can you please leave me to change? It's not that you're a bother, I just...I have to go". 

"...". Mitsuba didn't reply, but neither did her smile fade. She gave a nod, although Hijikata couldn't see it-having his back turned to this lovely woman. She left him alone, quietly entering the hallway and closing the door behind her. Hijikata could feel himself faltering, but fully intended to leave at once. Thus, he did. 

... 

Hijikata had ensured that those clothes he had borrowed were folded neatly. He would have washed them too, but leaving this place as soon as possible was his top priority. He exited from that room, walking to the front entrance of the dojo from the back. The reluctant to leave just yet and the excuses gripped onto his ankles, dragging him down. He resisted, though, continuing forward. It was getting dark already and he had nearly no money, but he didn't want to stay in such a place any longer. Otherwise he would get too comfortable and ruin the routine of moving from place to place. It was better that way; better that he didn't stick around and get attached. 

When approuching the front entrance, Hijikata was about to turn a corner, his exit in sight. However, when it did come into view, he flinched and whispered a curse word as he quickly hid behind the corner. He peered out, his eyes wide. Standing at the entrance was Kondo, facing a familiar gang of thugs who looked pretty beat up and very pissed off. If they caught him now, while he was injured...There was no way Kondo would protect him, under threat. He was a dead man. Hijikata knew he was...At the first sign of trouble, the only effort he could make was to run away while his injuries had not fully healed. In his condition, he would be beaten to death. 

"Have you seen him or not? Tell us the truth, and ya won't get hurt". 

"You guys are barking up the wrong tree. For one, the guy you're talking about isn't here. He never was here". Huh? Why... 

"Don't lie. One of our guy's that got beat up saw you carry him, now where is he?" 

"Oh, that did happen. But I swear that kid was stubborn. He pushed me away the first opprtunity he got and ran off with all those injuries. I doubt he got far, may even be dead for all we know". Why was he...Why was Kondo... 

"Don't fuck with us! We know this dojo takes in young thugs like that brat, so just give 'em to us and we'll leave you and this dojo alone". 

"How many times do I have to tell you guys? He isn't here. Look elsewhere or give up. Honestly, what are you doing wasting time looking for a guy like that? Or, what, was your pride damaged that badly by one kid? I'm shocked". 

"Tch! Big Bro, come on. This asshole is wasting our time". 

"I can see that. If we find out that he's here, there'll be hell to pay. I'm not fucking around. We'd probably go as far as to burn this place down if it meant we could drag you and that stupid kid outta the ashes". 

"The fact you would go so far for one kid is nothing short of pitiful, y'know. Sorry, but this place can't crumble that easily. Even if the dojo is gone, we'll all come out from the rubble with our own two feet, and fight back with our own fists. You dare pick a fight here, you can be sure we'll defend our home. To save us both the trouble, I'll tell you right now that you have no business here. Go home and occupy your time wisely, don't waste it here. See ya". 

With that, Kondo turned his back to the gang, heading inside of the dojo. Closing the door behind him and slippingof his shoes, he paused upon raising his head to the hallway. His mind drew a blank, puzzled-almost amazed-by the sight that stood before him. Hijikata stood before him, head bowed low with his fists clenched. He appeared to be anxious, hesitant to say whatever he wished to say. Kondo didn't speak, but instead allowed Hijikata the time to let it out. 

"Wh...Why...Why did you...protect me? Those guys were threatening you and knowing what kind of gang they are, they would have done something as stupid and ruthless as burning down the dojo. So why didn't you tell them that I was here? Threw me out? Joined in? I don't...understand you at all. You say that the men here were all in similar situations; thugs with no home and no family, just their fists and a desperation to survive. So why would people like you protect some stranger like me?" 

Kondo was given his chance to reply, starting off with a sigh and a smile. 

"You know that we're nothing like those thugs, right? Sure, we do fight for survival, but unlike them we strive for a home and for purpose. We didn't give up on those things because they were ours once, and we wanted them back. This may not be much, but it's people like us who stick together to survive and find a future. We look out for eachother when no one else will, and we move forward together, like a family. We may have been strangers once, but after you train with them, eat with them, share stories with them and tighten your bonds with them, whose to say that that's no family? You're not like those thugs, Toshi. You're like us, although you hide your desire to seek company and a family of some sort. We don't have much, and we are mostly made up of reckless idiots, but you're welcome here". 

"Kondo-san, I...I...appreciate those words, and I'm thankful that you didn't throw me to the wolves, but there's no place for me anywhere. I'm better off alone. I'm sorry...". 

"So that's it. You're really leaving. Heh, it's funny. I thought you would partake in some martial arts lessons once you were healed up. I feel silly for it now, seeing as you were so eager to leave before". 

"...". 

Bowing his head low, Hijikata headed for the door. This time, he was definitely leaving all of this behind without another word. If he said anymore, he would he stalling, prolonging the inevitable. And so he left silently with nothing but the clothes on his back and bandages around his wounds. But deep down he felt that a thank you and a good-bye wasn't enough. Those people were kind...Kondo and Mitsuba. Sougo was a brat, but he was a part of their "family", too. So perhaps it was best for Hijikata to stay out of it. Those were his thoughts. He didn't want to step in and trample on what they already had. He thought he had already done so once... 

... 

It didn't seem like Hijikata would return. It had only been a night, but he wasn't going to come back, it seemed. Kondo stared out towards the orange sky. It was liie this the previous evening, although this felt a lot gloomier knowing that Hijikata was far away, miles from the dojo. Kondo was engrossed by the orange sky, wondering where Hijikata had gone. 

"He's gone for good, isn't he?" Mitsuba asked, approuching Kondo as she, too, grew curious staring at the sky beautiful glow. 

"Seems like it. It's a shame, y'know. I wanted to get to know him a lot better". 

"I'm sure you did". 

"Hm? What, and you didn't? Come on Mitsuba, you seemed quite eager to speak to him a little more". 

"Oho, Kondo-san, that's enough. It's embarrassing...". Mitsuba smiled, hiding pink tinted cheeks behind her hand. 

"Hm...He seemed to wanna talk with you more, too". 

"Eh? I-is that so...?" Her spirits dampened, this feeling that a great opportunity to get to know Hijikata more had been lost due to his eagerness to move on. It really was a shame. 

"I'm sure you two woulda made good friends. And, ah, I think Sougo would have warmed up to him eventually". 

"Haha, he may not seem like it, but Sou-chan had a tendency to put up a defense mechanism around strangers who get close to me. He's a very caring and protective little brother". 

"Mm, sounds like him". A momentary paused let them both take in the sights of the evening for a while longer. Kondo was eager to get up and occupy his mind, focus on other things. He couldn't dwell on Hijikata's leave for long. They had to move past it eventually. "Haah...Well," Kondo muttered, standing to his feet. "I'm, er, gonna take a walk around, get some air. Maybe I'll stop by the shrine". 

"Alright, then. Have a safe walk, Kondo-san". 

Kondo headed straight for the path that led down hill, towards the shrine. It was a peaceful place; unoccupied, quiet and a spot where Kondo would frequent in order to clear his head. It provided some space to think. He walked all the way there, hands sruffed inside his pockets. The air was clear, only distant sounds emitting throughout the forests. The path led to the shrine, and the shrine looked down on the streets below. Kondo had headed up the stone steps, leading to this shrine before he stopped at the very top, eyes growing wide in a moment of pure astonishment. Would you believe it... 

Hijikata, of all people, stood by the shrine, holding himself up in a stance. It appeared to be a stance from the karate lesson from the previous day, however his posture was off and he was only preparing himself for a weak start. Before Hijikata could move another inch, let alone throw a punch at thin air in practice, Kondo approuched in an attempt to prevent Hijikata from embarrassing himself. Although this might have been much worse. 

"Hold up, hold up. Before you do anything, I wanna point out that your posture is off and you're only gonna make a weak impact on your opponent if you go on like that". 

"...?! Kondo-sa-...! Uh, look, don't get the wrong idea. I wasn't really...". 

"But, y'know...". Kondo gave Hijikata a pat on the back, and a smile, like this was his usual method of comfort or just his way of starting a heart-to-heart chat. "With some practice, you'll get there. If you didn't leave so soon, I could've gone over some basics with you. By the look on your face just now, you were a little more eager to learn than leave, weren't you?" 

"...Why are you doing this? Do you think I could ever become a part of this "family" of yours? I didn't ask for your help". 

"It's...a little hard to explain myself. I mean, I wouldn't force you to stay if you really didn't want to. But when I saw you all beat up, you looked like you were on your last legs. I helped because you needed it, and I didn't give a damn whether you asked or not. We offered you a place because we're all on the same boat. Unhappy pasts, no family or relatives. When it came down to it, we had eachother and each one of us thought we found something imortant, something to protect and hold on to. If you really didn't want to be a part of that, why are you still here? The dojo isn't too far away, and it's been a night since you left. Why did you come back?" 

"...". Falling silent, Hijikata averted his gaze for a moment. No answer...Was he embarrassed about it or...? 

Before Kondo could say another word, opening his mouth to do so, a sudden horde of footstep made their way towards the shrine. A group of men appeared-the same bothersome gang from last night and the night before. 

"There you are, you bastard". The supposed leader of the gang grinned, finally catching Hijikata afte running around for nearly two days. "We're here to settle this, just like you said". 

"Settle this? Toshi, what...?" 

Hijikata stepped forth ignoring Kondo. 

"Didn't I tell you the first time we met? It's none of your business, so stay out of it". Hijikata stood tall. Despite his injuries, he held up his fists. There quite a few men, all going up against him. 

"What's that? Does this guy really not know why you're handing yourself to us?" 

"The hell? Did the brat come here of his own accord?" 

"What an idiot...". 

"Of course I came here of my own accord, bastards". Hijikata spoke firmly, holding nothing back in terms of intimidation. "This guy...Kondo-san has got nothing to do with why I'm here...Kind of. I said I'd fight you asshokes if you left the dojo and the people inside alone, but when the hell did I say I was "handing myself over"? This is a fight that's gonna put an end to your shit, once and for all". 

"Haha, hey, Big Bro, this kid really does have a pair". 

"Seems like it. Such a shame he's gonna have his skull caved in against concrete". 

"Kondo-san...". Hijikata muttered, his eyes focused towards the men as they also readied their fists. "This has got nothing to do with you, so I would suggest you leave before-...?" 

It was half-expected that Kondo would join Hijikata by his side, getting into a stance with his eyes also focused. 

"Sorry, Toshi. I'm already involved. I said to Sougo before that if he was ever caught up in a fight for self-defense, I had his back. Well, same goes for you and all the other members of the dojo. Besides, I feel like I need to teach you some proper moves before I let you leave. Got it?" 

This man was something else...Kind but courageous when it came to his allies and friends. As of now, Hijikata considered himself to be a mere ally in this fight. 

"...I got it". He grinned, prepared to beat the living shit out of these guys if the last thing he would do. With his injuries, that was a possibility. And before either of them knew it, the fight had already begun with the first strike... 

... 

Silent...The scene had fallen silent. Drained bodies lay beneath their feet, although each man was still breathing. Kondo and Hijikata were the one's left standing, their fists still raised and marked from rough and constant punches. When victory was certain, they both relaxed and let out heavy sighs, wiping the blood from their noses or lips. 

"Haah...Glad that's over. We make a pretty good team, huh, Toshi?" 

"Y-yeah, I guess...You handle yourself pretty well". 

"Having been a part of martial arts training for several years, I'm not gonna be modest about it. I can handle myself just as much as anyone can". 

"Aren't you japanese? Be at least a little modest...". 

"Haha, you're the same, y'know. You're a strong fighter, maybe even stronger than Sougo. Be proud of it". 

"Well, to be honest, I can't be proud of simple punches and kicks. Seeing the way you fight, I think I'll give it a shot myself". 

"That's good, maybe you could-...Wait, what did you say?" 

"What did you think I said?" Hijikata held a straight expression, resisting to falter in front of Kondo. "I think I'll try my hand at martial arts to avoid worse injuries. If you'll have me, I'd like to learn from you, Kondo-san...". 

Amazed and speechless, Kondo stood frozen for a moment or two before a big smile curved onto his face. He began laughing, throwing his arm over Hijikata's shoulder. 

"Gh! O-oi...". 

"I'm glad, Toshi! Don't worry, I'm a pretty good teacher despite my age! Oh, come to think of it, I'm only one year older than you. But we can put that aside and treat eachother as equals, so stick to calling me "Kondo-san" if you wish and I'll stick to "Toshi", alright?" 

"S-sure...". 

"Man, I haven't felt this happy in a long time! You're gonna fit right in, y'know. Wait 'til Mitsuba hears about this!" 

With Kondo's arm still draped over Hijikata's aching shoulders, the two men headed back to the dojo together. It was the first time in a long time that Hijikata reconnected with other people. Hijikata thought he had give up trying to find a place to call home after all these years of moving around, never settling in one place, always alone. For him it had been easier, but at this moment he realised that he couldn't escape this desire to settle down ina comfortable place, surrounded by smiles and amity. This thing called "family" was so fickle that Hijikata had convinced himself that he was all alone. But, once again, he was pulled in by a warm hand and welcoming words. But now it wasn't just one, but maybe more. Hijikata only had to meet them. This man...Hijikata hadn't felt so trusting towards another person since his elder brother, Tamegoro. He refused to place trust in anyone, and he most certainly refused to rely on anyone. But this man had extended his hand, and Hijikata, by this point, wanted to take it. He would soon feel a stronger connection this person than he had anyone else over these past years. Hijikata, deep down, wanted to remain by this man's side as long as their bonds couldn't break as easily, as long as he continued to reach out for Hijikata...then Hijikata was willing to do the same for him, if need be... 

... 

... 

Once again, Okita stared scournfully at Hijikata, their height difference diminishing any intimidating aura that Sougo tried to give off. Kondo decided to revert back to introductions, now that Hijikata decided to join the dojo, and he did it with a smile, unable to read the situatuion in front of him. Sougo...really didn't like Hijikata. 

"Toshi, eveh though he is younger, Sougo is your senior here. Try to get along with eachother, okay?" 

"Sure. I suppose I should refer to you as Okita-senpai, then?" 

"Damn right you will. I've been here longer than you, and I know a lot more so that makes me your senior". 

"Oi, what's with this brat? Does he have a superiority complex or something?" 

"Don't look down on me!" 

"That can't be helped, seeing as your the size of a shrimp". 

"Bastard...!" 

Sougo leaped for Hijikata in anger, wrapping an arm swiftly around his neck in a headlock while grabbing Hijikata's long pony-tail. He tugged at it, sending shots of pain around Hijikata's scalp. 

"Ack! Owowowowow! C-cut it out, you brat!" 

Hijikata stumbled around, struggling to pull Sougo off. The kid was surprisingly strong, although this attack was nothing compared to what Hijikata was used to. 

"Hey! Break it up you two! Ah! Mitsuba, gimme a hand!" 

As soon as Mitsuba walked into the room, Kondo called for her aid to pry Sougo away from Hijikata's hair. 

"Sou-chan, that's enough". As if by some miracle, Mitsuba pulled Sougo away without much effort. He stood down at his sister's command, as did Hijikata when being pulled aside by Kondo. "What happened? Why are you two fighting?" 

"He's looking down on me even though I'm supposed to be his senior! Called me a shrimp...Bastard". 

"Sou-chan, watch your language". 

Despite scolding him, Mitsuba pet her brother's hair as if to comfort him. He fell silent, sulking to himself like any brat would. Hijikata rubbed the sore spot on his head, grumbling. 

"You shouldn't have picked a fight". Kondo crossed his arms, acting as the one whose responsibility was to scold Hijikata. "Sougo is your senior here, and treating your seniors with respect is important". 

"I understand, Kondo-san. But I won't have some brat talk down to me". 

"Sougo, you should treat Toshi the way you want to be treated. That should be basics for anyone, especially a child your age". 

Sougo clicked his tongue in annoyance, although he had nothing against Kondo therefore wouldn't talk back to him. 

"Yeah, I know....". 

"Good to hear. Now let's all try to get along, alright? C'mon, Toshi, I'll show you around the dojo so you can become accustomed to the place". 

"Ah, yeah, sure".

Sougo turned his back to Hijikata, still sulking. Mitsuba sighed, watching the two men go with a faint smile. Little did she expect Hijikata to goance over his shoulder to see that smile. When their eyes met for a mere second, Hijikata turned away in a self-conscious state of mind. He could barely keep his guard up around her. Never before had Hijikata experienced embarrassment or bashfullness towards anyone; especially a woman. But that smile, which radiated kindness and warmth, caused his heart to skip a beat or two. In her presence, Hijikata's composure collapsed. If it continued, he shly considered the thought of going weak at the knees. And for that, not only did he feel embarrassed but also incredibly foolish. 

("She's only a girl..."). He thought. ("Only a girl..."). He repeated. ("Only...a girl..."). Gradually, that thought scorched itself into his mind and he found it easier to relax even under her gently smile. Only because he wasn't looking, though... 

... 

Kondo presented each room and every hallway to Hijikata, introducing him to some of the men along the way. He was mostly greeted with smiles until they arrived at the living quarters. That was where Hijikata met Saito Shimaru, after hearing about him so many times. During this time, in the morning, everyone would have put away their futons to start the day but this guy, Saito, was still fast alseep in the center of the room. He wasn't even sleeping in a futon. Somehow, he managed to fall asleep with his legs formed into a basket, his head tilted to the side ever so slightly as he snored softly and quietly, murming the letter "zed" over and over. Behind the thick scarf wrapped around his neck, concealing his mouth and nose, he didn't look any older than Kondo, maybe he was as old as Hijikata. That would have been more evident if he was awake with his eyes open. In front of him was a diary of sorts. It lay open for anyone to see if they passed by, but even from a distance there was not much to see. The letter "zed" had been scribbled down over and over until this guy drifted off. 

Hijikata could take his eyes off of this unusual scene, confused and a little concerned about this man's stafe of mind. 

"Oi, Saito". Kondo called out to him, approuching and gently shaking his body. "You awake there, buddy? There's someone I'd like you to meet". 

"...!" Saito's eyes shot open, darting around the room as if he had no idea where he was. But upon seeing Kondo's face, he relaxed. "...". 

"There ya go. Have a good sleep?" Saito nodded, not giving a verbal response. Also, he didn't seem to have noticed Hijikata just yet. "Good. Um, so, here's the guy I mentioned just now, if you caught that. This is Toushiro Hijikata, and he'll be joining our dojo starting today". 

Saito's eyes met with Hijikata, suddenly appearing more startled as he slammed his diary shut. What? Kondo was allowed to peek but not Hijikata? Clearly Kondo was more trustworthy when it came to his list of "z's", that was normal. 

"Hey. It's nice to meet you. I hope we can work well together". Hijikata bowed politely, raising his head in order to have a look at Saito's reaction. 

"...". Not a word. He was quiet, shifting his gaze back and forth. Why? Why did he look so shy? Was he a middle-schooler? An elementary school kid who had to buddy-up with a girl on a school trip? "....". 

"He's not very talkative, but I'm sure you guys can get along well soon enough". 

At those words, maybe sooner, Saito reached into one of his pants pockets and took out a small notepad and pen. He scribbled something down, turning it over when finished. 

(It's very nice to meet you, yez). Why? Why did he add a "zed" at the end? For what purpose? Was that his manner of speaking? Wait, he didn't speak, though. So what was the point of writing out your mannerisms? Hijikata couldn't comprehend that...No one bit. 

"U-urm, it's nice to meet you too...". ("Didn't I already say that? Is the situation that awkward that I'm stuck repeating myself until this is over?") Hijikata couldn't blame Saito for this awkward atmosphere. Hijikata knew himself that he wasn't socially adroit either, if worse. "Haah, if it's alright, I'll refer to you as Saito-senpai". 

"...!" Saito began writing again, once again holding up the notepad to convey his thoughts as clearly as possible. (Th-that isn't necessary. S-s-saito is fine...). Oi, his hands were shaking when writing that. This guy was really shy...but his facial expression was as straight as a wooden board. But, putting that aside, Saito had adopted the same beliefs as Kondo in a sense that everyone in this dojo was an equal. So why the hell did Hijikata have to treat Okita as a senior? 

"He is your senior, Toshi, but I'm sure you can treat eachother equally, huh? I know you two will become buddies in no time". Saito didn't respond this time and simply closed the notepad over, his eyes averted. "Keep working hard, alright, Saito? I'm gonna continue to show Toshi around. See ya later". 

Saito gave a nod, watching as Kondo escorted Hijikata backmout into the hallway. 

"Don't worry about it, Toshi. Saito is a good guy, we just haven't heard his voice since we first met". 

"Seriously? Does he not talk to anyone?" 

"As far as any of us know, he doesn't say a single word and writes down his thoughts and feelings instead. Sometimes he's a little to self-conscious to talk to anyone, so he got a diary. Putting his shyness aside, though, he's very capable with chores and training. We respect him greatly. Even Sougo looks up to him". 

"Is that so...". 

Do you think you'll stay?" 

"Hm? Oh, er...Ahem, how many times are you gonna ask? I'm staying to take up training here. If I ever get into another fight, I don't wanna do a half-assed job. I'm sick of getting injured all the time". 

"Hm...". Out of nowhere, Kondo reached out and tousled Hijikata's hair. Hijikata's response wasn't frantic or annoyed, as he might of react towards anyone else. Kondo's hand was warm and almost familiar, but as soon as Hijikata made a strange face-like a quiet nostalgia-Kondo's touslihg became a ruffling of Hijikata's hair. It was rougher, manlier and not at all familiar, but still... "Why are you spacing out? C'mon, we've gotta start training soon with everyone else. You're a part of that now, so keep your chin up". 

This man...Hijikata was lost for words when describing him. In fact, there were no words. Nothing accurate came to mind as Hijikata tried to place his personality. He was...rough around the edges, manly, forthright, strong but also kind, friendly and confident. Hijikata felt somewhat out of place standing by his side, but at the same time he wanted to be his sword and shield, or so to speak. When those gang members showed up, Hijikata honestly wanted to protect this man's home and the people he called friends out of thanks and the hidden desire to be a part of that. He knew he was hasty when placing his trust in these people, but...this time both his mind and gut agreed with eachother. Although he couldn't exactly call it "home" yet, Hijikata had a weird feeling that it was the closest he would ever get. 

... 

After only a few days, the only thing on Hijikata's mind was training. Even when alone, he went over the basics again and again without feeling embarrassed. Kondo watched over him most of the time while provide advice and techniques. All while smiling and laughing along when seeing the vast progress Hijikata was making. "At this rate, you may even surpass me", was what he said, jokingly. With Kondo, Hijikata trained in martial arts such as judo, whereas he trained in the art of karate alone. On one of the hottest days in summer, most of the men within the dojo trained outdoors by running laps around the lakes nearby. Hijikata had walked there when his personal training session had ended. Tired and hot, he considered bathing while the showers were completely empty but was curious about the goings-on outside. He wandered far into the forest until the clearing lay before him, the lake shining so brightly under the sun's rays that it was almost blinding. Shrouding his eyes with his hand, Hijikata stared out, spotting the members from the dojo running laps around the lake. 

Even when standing far away, Hijikata could see the fun in it, but if he joined in he would surely collapse from heat stroke. The lake was large and stretched out quite far, thus it would take them a while to complete one lap. He approuched the lake, further scanning his surroundings, admiring the beauty of the lake and the forestry surrounding it. Among all of that though, sitting next to lake, staring into her reflection, was Mitsuba. She glanced up, looking towards the men as they waved and called out to her from the opposite side of the lake. She smiled and waved back, ignoring the chance that they weren't able to see her. As if in a haze, Hijikata approuched her; just to say hello. He had barely spoken to her since his arrival. He didn't want to appear shy in front of a woman and her pretty smile. 

"Y-yo...". He greeted, his voice already sounding weak and cracked. He cleared his throat, receiving no immediate reaction as though she didn't hear him. "A-ahem, uh...Hey...Uh, Mitsu-". 

"Ah...". Mitsuba appeared to have woken up from a daydream as she acknowledged Hijikata's presence. She swerved her head around to face him, smiling happily upon seeing him. "Toushiro-san...There you are. I was kind of wondering where you were". 

"Ah...Pff...Nowhere in particular. I was just...Y'know...taking a walk?" Hijikata naturally averted his gaze, scratching the nape of his neck nervously. 

"I see. You look tired, so...Would you like to sit with me? It's nice and cool by the lake". 

"S-sure, why not. I kinda need to rest anyway". 

Hijikata faced his embarrassment head-on, sitting next to Mitsuba at a fair distance; not too close, but not too far away either. Together they stared out towards the lake, not uttering another word, briefly. 

"They look like they're having fun, don't they?" 

"Eh...Yeah, they do. Um, is this something they do often?" 

"Hm, I guess you could say that. I've been living with these boys for time now and I can safely say that there's never a dull moment. Do you...like it here, Toushiro-san?" 

"Ahh, that's a bit of a strong word right now, but I...I think I'm starting to adjust. I haven't met such a boyant group in quite sometime. Or perhaps this is the first time I've been around such lively people. Honestly I don't know what to say". 

"Kondo-san always told me to just smile when I first met everyone; to smile and be myself. They're like family now. Quite a quick change when I put it that way, huh?" 

"They must have liked you for you, then". 

"Hm? What was that, Toushiro-san?" 

"Ack, n-nothing...So, uhh...I know this might be a bit of a personal question, but are you and Kondo-san quite...close?" 

"Eh? W-well, not in the way you're thinking if that's-". 

"N-no! I'd never assume-...". 

"Haha, I'm kidding. Relax...Haah, Kondo-san is like an elder brother to us, as well as a dear friend. He helped Sou-chan and me after we lost our parents. He took us in, gave us a home...But, no. I could never think of him as more than a wonderful friend". 

"R-right...Sorry that must have been a weird question". 

"Not at all...". 

Hijikata felt foolish for asking something like that. Surely she would get the wrong idea...Or perhaps she was too modest to assume Hijikata would think that way about her. That would be for the best. After all, they barely knew eachother and-...Ack, he was getting stressed over it...over a young woman. Being flustered and shy were totally foreign to such a closed book like Hijikata, who displayed a straight expression with a great lack of emotion, sympathy or empathy. So why was it only Mitsuba who brought this side out to the surface? He didn't want to know... 

From across the lake, many of the dojo members stopped to take a breath from running laps. As they did, a couple of the men noticed Sougo crouched down within the forest, among a huge patch of shade from under the trees. 

"Oh, haa..What's Okita-kun up to now? Oi! Okita-kun!" 

"Whatcha doing, kiddo?!" 

A few gathered around curiously, including Kondo. When they were close to Sougo, the kid got up and turned around with a proud grin across his face and a stag beetle in hand. He didn't appear to have been sweating since the run, meaning he didn't bother to run in the first place and had been catching stag beetles this whole time. 

"Check it out! This is the biggest beetle I've caught all summer!" 

"Nice job, Okita-san". 

Not surprising that you wanted to catch one. Kids will be kids, I suppose". 

"Oi, don't talk down to me. I'll box you". 

"Come on, no need to get so violent, Okita-kun". 

"Whatever. I'm gonna show Sis', so I'll be right back". 

"Are you sure you wanna do that?" As Okita headed back towards the lake, he paused when such a question was raised out of the blue. 

"What do you...?" 

"Masamune's right. Check it out: looks like she's busy talking to Hijikata-san". 

Curiosity arose among the group as they all crowded around under the shade, gazing towards the other side of the lake. 

"No kidding...Mitsuba-dono is talking to the new kid". 

"Wonder if he likes her". 

"Seems like it. Uh, Okita-kun?" 

Okita stared at the scene himself, astonished and disheartened. His expression quickly changed, dropping the stag beetle carelessly back down to earth as he stormed off, towards the goal that was the opposite side of the lake. Everyone watched him go, although Kondo eventually followed with a deep sigh. 

"Haah, honestly...That boy is too protective of his sister. He should let them be, huh? Well, looks like I'll have to make peace before Sougo does something drastic". Kondo went his way, leaving the group behind. 

"Please do, Kondo-san". 

"Go right ahead. I'm not getting involved between a weird love traingle". 

"Dude, no...That Okita's sister". 

"You know what I mean, moron. Okita only wants his sister for himself, as his sister. You know that he's kinda spoiled, so it's only natural that he wouldn't want anyone to get getween them. She's the only one he has". 

"Don't say that to his face, otherwise he really will box you, Souchi". 

... 

Letting his guard down like this...Hijikata had done it again, only this time it was around Mitsuba. Of course he didn't talk about himself much. In fact, neither did Mitsuba. Their conversation was more about the present rather than the past or their dreams for the future. It sounded so ordinary when discussing it, unlike the deep, emotional secrets that anyone would hide away, especially from someone they just met. Would Hijikata ever talk about his past to this girl? Who the hell could say? Did he wish to discuss it?...The answer was...Well, he was uncertain. She was a nice and seemingly trustworthy girl, but Hijikata wanted to keep his private life to himself as long as he remained even a little bit unfamiliar withn this place and the people. 

"We all used to visit this small ramen place nearby. It was cheap but the food was delicious, with our without my favourite ingredient". 

"Favourite ingredient? What kind of ingredient?" 

"Hmhm, now...I hope you won't feel too disgusted but I really enjoy spicy food so...whenever I prepare a meal I like to smother it in thinks like hot sauce. Or when I make a curry, I make sure that it's so spicy that I can barely feel my tongue". 

"Really...?" 

"Is that...weird?" 

"Uh, no, not really . Actually, not a lot of people understand this-'cause it sounds way worse apparently-but I really enjoy mayonnaise. I couldn't quite figure it out myself, but whenever I have a meal-like a proper meal-I would smotyer it a big swirl of mayonnaise. It's the best food, and I don't give a crap about what other people think. So...You shouldn't either. It's not weird at all. You just really like spicy food, right?" 

"Toushiro-san...Haha...". 

"Wh-...what's so funny?" 

"Ahaha, s-sorry, sorry. I just can't picture you covering your meals in mayonnaise". 

"It's true, though, and I'm proud of it. Mayonnaise is the almighty food". 

"I think a lot of weight-obsessed people would disagree, or ordinary people in general. But...I think that sort of taste in unique. I...I like it". 

"...W-well, good. I don't really eat spicy food myself, but, y'know, it's...unique, too". 

Hijikata turned his head away, scratching his cheek awkwardly. By now Mitsuba could see his embarrassment, but said nothing as she smiled and giggled quietly. She couldn't help but note to herself how sweet Hijikata was despite how distant he usually acted. Deep down, he was quite sweet and even gentle when he didn't put up his guard so much. 

"Toushiro-san, um...Do you think...Uh, do you think I could-". 

"Siiiiiis'!" As Mitsuba was about to finish her sentence, she was abruptly cut off by the cries of her little brother as he stormed over, looking frustrated and angry. "Don't let that girly guy get near you! He's weird!" 

"Says who you little shit?!" Toushiro made a comeback, suddenly growing just as frustrated and angry as the brat known as Sougo barged in on thier conversation. 

"Says me! Quite trying to smooch my sister, ya perv'!" 

"Oiiii! Stop accusing me of weird shit! Take a time out, brat!" 

"Aargh! You piss me off!" 

"You're pissing me off! Do you actually have a sister complex or something?!" 

"That's it! Sis', I'm gonna kill him!" 

"Sou-chan, that's enough! You too, Toushiro-san". 

"Sis', lemme handle it! I'll knock this guy into the ground with my martial arts skills! Just you watch-uah!" 

As Okita prepared to get into a stance, he was lifted up from the ground and placed on a set of broad shoulders: Kondo's, to be exact. He wore a big grin, pretending that he didn't see or hear Okita try to threaten Hijikata with martial arts moves-that were oringally meant for hobby and self-defense purposes. 

"Hey, Sougo, there ya are. Everyone's waiting so we'd better get a move on while the sun is still up". 

"But-...!" 

"Toshi, we were just gonna swim in the lake to cool off. Wanna join?" 

"Ah! Well...". This was sudden. No, it was simply a way to keep Okita from attacking Hijikata, and vise versa. He looked to Mitsuba, and was about to decline as he wanted to stay beside her for a while longer, but... 

"It's alright. Go have fun. I'll have to start dinner with some of the other boys anyway, since it is my turn to help prepare it". 

"O-oh...Okay, sure. I'll talk to you later, then". 

Mitsuba's smile didn't disappear, even as she stood up from the earth and headed back towards the dojo. Within a few steps towards the main path, she toom a moment to glance over her shoulder. Kondo had drapped his arm around Hijikata's shoulders, dragging him along with Sougo. Those two were already prone to fight, and Mitsuba could only wonder what was going througy their heads in order for them to act so violently. However, she didn't want to think that they were serious, knowing that, deep down, they were sweet and gentle boys. To the other guys, they would describe those two as anything but "sweet and gentle" but Mitsuba could see it. They only had to open their hearts to the right people. For Hijikata especially, he was reaching that stage even if he would only open up to someone like Kondo. 

Mitsuba...would have liked for Hijikata to open up to her, too. She was unsure about the details herself, but for some reason she wished to get to know Hijikata better. She wished for him to know her better...Of course she considered these thoughts to be rather silly, but then again they weren't. After spending most of her attention kooking after and even spoiling her little brother, certain feeling of wonder and interest arose like never before. These feelings-of mere interest-sparked towards Hijikata. Never before had she felt so strange, it was almost embarrassing. Lingering a moment longer, Mitsuba pushed back a few strands of her hair within the breeze and let out a sigh. Time to get a move on... And so these thoughts were brushed away, temporarily forgotten in the midst of every other thought. But this odd feeling would come back, and Mitsuba unconsciously had a strange feeling it would return in the form of her heart, pounding against her chest as she couldn't look at Hijikata in the same way as she did everyone else. What was this...feeling, exactly? 

... 

Another evening, spent within the dojo training room without a break until Kondo insisted that Hijikata should take one. "Fine", he said, giving up as he wiped the sweat from his brow. It was only them as everyone else prepared for an early night in. Hijikata wanted to train, to catch up in order to shed his title as an amatuer. He was officially dedicated to surpassing Kondo without actually intending to do so. All he ever thought about, on the surface, was training and his goal to grow stronger. But Kondo was curious about whatever else Hijikata thought about. He was still human after all, not some machine dedicated to a single task. 

"Here, sit with me for a while, Toshi, have some water". Kondo was ahead when it came to taking a well-earned break after practice. He had gone over a lot of the basics in Judo and karate, but hoped to learn a lot more in Tokyo. 

"Thanks...". Hijikata slumoed down to the hardwood floor, back against the wall, water bottle in hand. He sighed, gulping it down once he realised how exhausted he was. 

"Try to be more careful. There's a difference between exceeding your limits to become stronger and actually reaching your limit. If you know you've lost all energy, then it's best to stop and take a breather before gradually building strength". 

"Hmph, I'll keep that in mind". 

"...You know, Toshi, I've never seen a man at this dojo try so hard to cross the barrier that is his limit. If you keep going, you probably will break. So why do I have the nagging suspicion that you don't give a damn? That you're a man who will never break no matter how hard you push yourself, or how hard others push you?" 

"And what gave you that idea, hm? We've known eachother for nearly a week, so how can you figure out so much already?" 

"I've seen it; when you fight, when you train, I can see that struggle in your eyes. I actually quite admire such tenacity to improve. But I also admire a man who isn't afraid to allow someone to have his back, who doesn't let his pride or shame get in the way completely of the fight. Even if it was just for a moment, I could definitely see it in you". 

"So, what, you admire me to a certain extent?" 

"I suppose. If I could have you by my side as a comrade in arms, or even just a drinking buddy when we're of age, I'd happily have you there, Toshi". 

"...". There he goes again with his noble and friendly words that were not just for show. This man was sincere, always when it came to the friends around him. And Hijikata could honestly say... "Kondo-san, I, er...I admire you, too. In fact...I've come to respect you, quite a lot. If you would have be by your side, I'd be more than happy to stand in that psoition". 

"Hah, you sound quite tame now, you know that?" 

"Don't say that...I sound like some dog or something and I-". 

"You're nothing like a dog, Toshi. You're the kinda guy who bares his fangs at anyone if it means survival. But when you find the right people, you bare those same fangs to protect what you care about. When I was a child, I was the same. I used to be raised in an old temple school, believe it or not". 

"In this day and age?" 

"Mm-hm. I was the rebelious type, always causing trouble for neighbours and my teachers. It got so bad that they all thought I was raised by apes. One day I tried to save something important by baring my fangs, but in the end I lost what was important and ran away with my fangs still as sharp as ever. No matter what it is, Toshi, no matter what consequences you may face, there is always something you try to protect and sometimes you'll have someone protecting you. Relationships are like that-any kind of relationship whether you're friends, locers or members of the same dojo. People who strive to protect cannot be tamed, because that would be the same as throwing in the towel. Have you ever...tried to protect something, even when you appeared to be a fierce beast? Or something of the like?" 

It all came back to him; the darkness, the blood and the blame that would follow, all pointed at him, accused of being a monster. It was in the past, but the memories were still haunting. 

"I did try, once. When...I was a child...". Hijikata could believe it. "I, er...". These words that he kept hidden away for so long. "I had tried to protect something important to me as well, but I ended up lising it anyway. That person is alive, but was left scarred for life. I blamed myself for the longest time because that person protected me more than once before. They were all I had in the world, and I could do nothing but bite at the people who scarred him". 

"Him...?" 

"...My...My elder brother. Well, half-brother...". 

Kondo gave a smile, resting his hand on Hijikata's shoulder. 

"That's quite enough, Toshi. You don't have to say anymore. But, if you'd like, I would gladly tell you about all my "adventures" and struggles up until now". 

"Why...?" 

"Because I want to. Not that you should do the same, I-". 

"It's fine. Maybe in the future, when we're old, I'll tell you more over sake, when I'm ready. Right now it's a little...". 

"I get it. Don't force yourself, Toshi. But if you wanna talk, I'm always available to listen". 

"Thank you. Same to you...". 

Kondo provided a few more comforting pats to Hijikata's back before he stood up and said "I think we should get to bed. Got plenty of training to go over while summer break is in session". Hijikata agreed, although told Kondo to go on ahead as he wanted to rest for a little while longer before standing up. "Don't take too long". Was Kondo's response. "I think the bath my still be filled, so you should hurry before it chills". 

"Right...I won't wait around too long, honest. Go on ahead, and...I'll see you tomorrow". 

"See you tomorrow, Toshi. Get a good night's rest, will ya?" 

Hijikata was beginning to grow accustomed to other's company. Being left in an empty room alone was only just starting to feel unsettling for him. He finished off his bottle of water eventually, having the peace and quiet to think about varies things. Other than that, he was quietly admitting that he felt lonesome. Maybe not in those words, but something a little less pathetic-sounding. When he had regained his energy, Hijikata stood up, dumping the plastic water bottle into the recycling trash bin in the kitchen, which also lay empty. He hoped that the bath water hadn't gone cold already. Hah...Such insignificant thought had not crossed his mind in a while. In fact, he had only just realised how often he thought about training, what was on the menu for every meal served within the dojo, and chores. Chores for crying out loud... It felt rather ordinary, although this sentiment felt totally out of the ordinary. Ever since he came to the dojo, he had such ordinary thoughts that were not the norm' for him. He was unsure, but that might have lasted for the rest of his life and he didn't need to rely so heavily on his struggle for survival. Things were...easier...And he, an untamed dog-no, a demon-would only snarl and bite to protect something other than his own life. That was slowly becoming the norm'... 

... 

After picking out a change of clothes from the storage room by the spare bedroom, Hijikata changed and exited with intent to collapse into a warm futon and sleep for the night. That was most definitely the norm' now. He exited the storage room, switching off the light before quietly closing the door. With a single step into the hallway, Hijikata flinched: surprised by the second presence within this hallway, carrying a tray of tea and rice crackers. It was none other than Mitsuba. Yet, Hijikata wasn't surprised. He didn't expect anyone else to still be up, but he wasn't surprised that she was the only other peeson to be awake, for some reason. They meetings had to be convenient for some higher power (the author), or something. Mitsuba paused when she came into contact with Hijikata. 

"Ah, Toushiro-san, you're...awake...I was just heading to my room for the night. Um, well, seeing as you are up would you...like some of my home-made rice crackers?"

"Why would I at this time of night? But I suppose you did make them... Did you want to talk to me, or...?" 

"I didn't really anticipate it, but seeing as you're up...Um, I always thought that eating rice crackers was something that shouldn't be done alone. If you're not too tired, would you like to talk for a bit?" 

"H-honestly, I'm not that tired. We can talk for a bit, sure. Where do you wanna...talk, then?" This felt a little awkward, not to mention out of the blue. She wasn't anticipating this, huh? Yeah, neither if them were. Couldn't be helped, though. No, it...It couldn't hurt to stay up for a little while longer, could it? 

... 

Sipping his tea gratefully, Hijikata didn't say a word since they stepped into this room-the spare bedroom. This was the room where Kondo and Mitsuba patched him up the first time he was ever brought to the dojo. 

"Um...". Mitsuba, after a few moments of silence, finally decided to speak up and start a conversation. It was getting late to the weariness under their eyes made their will to converse diminish ever so slightly. "You know, this room was where Kondo-san brought you, when you were injured". 

"Yeah, I remember. It wasn't that long ago...". 

"No, it wasn't. Well, surprisingky enough, this is actually my room". 

"Eh? S-seriously? Your room? So what you're saying is that I...took up your room and slept in the same place?" 

"Mm-hm. It's a little emgrassing when you think about it, but I haven't shared a room with anyone since Sou-chan and I liced with our parents. In a weird way, it reminded me of the company I had as a child. As far as I can remember, due to my health, the only friend I really had was my little brother". 

"Your...health?" 

"After our parents died, I knew I had to make up for that. I had to act as both parents to Sou-chan while also giving him the same amount of love and affection as they would. Little did I realise that I was beginning to spoil him. That's why he is the way he is now". 

"You mean why he's a brat?" 

"It is my fault, I know. But I didn't want Sou-chan to feel alone. He used to be a lot more timid than he is now, although that isn't necessarily a bad thing. I'm happy that he can act confidentally and become somewhat inependent around other's. But he's still my cute, spoiled little brother. But because I paid him so much attention, I didn't really pay much attention to my own helath and well-being. I'm quite weak, you see; coughing fits, pains in my chest, waking up at night covered in sweat. I always brushed it off as nothing, until recently. It's seems to have...gotten a little worse". 

"Then see a doctor, have them run a few tests so that they are able to treat you. What's the problem?" 

"I don't want anyone to worry about-". 

"Don't give me that". 

"...?" 

"Of course people will worry about you. If you're sick, you put aside others and get treated-whatever that entails. If you think that something like this would make your bratty little brother, or anyone else, worry, then you're right. If you think something like this is a little selfish, then you're wrong. Thinking about your own wants and your own needs are two totally different things. And putting this aside for one moment, I think it's okay to be a little selfish. If you stop caring for yourself and only concentrate on what Sougo wants then he's gonna think he can get away with anything. I hate spoiled brats, they're annoying. He's annoying. So...It's okay to let him feel worried about his sister, because it means he'd want you to think about yourself for once, and get better". 

"...". Mitsuba was left dumbfounded by Hijikata's strong selection of words. She smiled thereafter, in only a few moments when everything went silent. "Toushiro-san, you're...such an interesting character, truely. If I'm not mistaken, I'd say you were starting to care a lot more than you thought you did. You do care". 

"...Of course". He mumbled, bashful. 

"It's strange...Ever since you arrived here and we first spoke, I wanted to talk more and find out more about you. I've seen some of the boy come in here with bruises ane cuts, but not like you; you were covered in them. It was the first time I seriously worried about someone other than Sou-chan. Of course I care about the other boys here, and I worry about them when they get hurt and I do my best to patch them up, but...You looked like you were in so much pain, and you passed out for a long stretch of time. I knew nearly nothing about you yet I worried quite a bit. And when you started speaking to me, you hardly spoke about yourself as if you were trying to avoid the subject. I soon thought that I...I wanted to get to know you better, Toushiro-san". 

"...". 

"I want to...get to know you a lot more, if...". 

"...Me too". 

"...!" 

"I, I mean...I wanna know you better, too...Mitsuba". 

For a very brief moment, the two stared into eachother's eyes, stains of red covering their cheeks although, surprisingly, Hijikata's was a deeper shade. They turned their heads away embarrassed. Mitsuba pushed back a few strands of hair behind her ear, once again lowering her trembling hand right back to the floor when- 

"...!" Her hand touched Hijikata's, unintentionally overlapping fingers. Mitsuba flinched, retracting her hand with a quick, quiet apology. 

"It's okay...". Hijikata muttered, his voice a little firm as if to say... 

"Huh...?" 

"I, I said...it's okay, so...um...y'know...". Hijikata gently took a hold of Mitsuba's fingers-not her whole hand-sheepishly squeezing it with his cheeks stained red up to his ears. 

"Uh...D-doesn't this...f-feel a little...". 

"Don't ask me...I've never really done this before...". 

"Me neither...". They didn't move an inch, and didn't look at eachother out of shyness. Mitsuba's hand was warm, although she trembled anxiously under Hijikata's surprisingly gentle touch. No one had ever held her hand like this before. At least, this was the first time that her hand was held. Usually she was the one holding Sougo's hand. It was embarrassing, but the feeling was warm and it was nice. For such a long time in both their lives, no physical contact wqs as gentle and affectionate- 

"...!" Mitsuba gasped when the door to the bedroom burst open. The two looked uo towards the door, although Mitsuba was especially shocked. "...Sou-chan, what...". 

Sougo stood there, head lowered, tiny fists clenched. 

"...Sis'...Why...Why this guy...?" 

"...? Sou-chan...". 

"Why would you tell this guy...and not me? What's so great about him? He comes in here, takes up space, trains a lot more than I do, steals away my place by Kondo-san's side and...and he...tries to steal you away too...". 

"Sou-chan, it isn't like that at all. Please, calm down-". 

"Why didn't you tell me you were sick?! Is it because I'm only a kid who won't understand?! I'm old enough to know that when you're sick you see a doctor about it! So why... Damn it! You...You idiot sister!" 

"Sou-chan...!" Sougo ran off with his tail between his legs. Hijikata sighed, thoroughly annoyed with that brat's attitude. 

"I'll go get him, drag him back here and have him apologise to his "idiot sister". Then I think you should apologise for keeping this from him. I told ya, he cares about you. He doesn't need a reason to do so, he'll care about you and he'll worry about his big sister. I'll be right back". 

Hijikata walked out, chasing after Sougo at his own pace. It took a little while, but soon Hijikata spotted Sougo outside, running towards the lake. This was familiar... With a deep sigh, Hijikata went after him with mixed thoughts. On one hand he despised Sougo's childish attitude towards his sister, but at the same time he could understand his outbursts...just not the part about how Hijikata "takes up space" and "steals things away" from such an obnoxious brat. That kid really was spoiled, convinced that everything and everyone he gets close to is immediatly his. Hijikata had never dealt with a spoiled child before, so he assumed that they all needed a slap in the jaw. But he had a feeling that Mitsuba would hate him if he did something so harsh to a seven-year old kid. 

He approuched the lakeside, finally spotting Sougo crouched in front of the glimmering surface that was the lake. Even at night, it was a pretty sight to behold. After very briefly taking in the sights, Hijikata chose to approuch now and give the brat a pep talk. Upon standing beside Sougo, the kid gave no protest and continued to silently stare at his feet in a sulk. Hijikata remained standing, picking up an odd rock from the earth. He tossed it up and down into the air, catching it in his hand everytime. 

"Hey, brat...". He spoke firmly, and Sougo raised his head despite holding a grudge against Hijikata and his way of insulting him. "Know how to skip rocks?" 

"No...". 

"...Want me to teach you?" 

"Pff, who needs a useless skill like that?" Hijikata furrowed his brow, irritated. "Sounds like you have too much time on your hands to be able to do that". That furrow turned into a hot-blooded scourn in no time at all. 

"Fine, you little bastard! God...I was trying to cheer you up, you ungrateful little shit". 

"Well you suck at it, moron". 

"Fine! I'm not goos at this! So, yes! I'm a moron! Haa...". How does anyone want to give up so early on in a pep talk? Kondo must have been a lot more skilled when it came to these things. Thinking that, Hijikata was prepared to turn back around and get him instead. But... 

"I...It's my fault, isn't it? Why Sis' is sick...". Sougo muttered, hiding his face away from Hijikata. 

"...Only partly". This was a fair start, so Hijikata decided to continue on without lying. He had to be blunt here. "It's her fault, too, for not thinking about her own well-being. I feel bad for her, though, having such a bratty little brother like you". 

"Bite me, girly". 

"Haah, but you're still her brother and she loves you regardless. But, even if you are a kid, you're not an idiot, Sougo. You must have understood that your sister was spoilijg you rotten at some point. You must have known that she wasn't thinking about herself at all". Sougo then buried his face further into his knees, hiding his face away again. "What...?" 

"I...I didn't...". 

"Eh? You didn't realise? You only thought about yourself? Wha-...Agh, so you are just a spoiled brat!" 

"Shut up! I realise that now, you ass! And I...I...". 

"Do you feel bad?" Sougo turned his head away, reverting back to the sulking stage. Hijikata took that as a yes, althoughnthe kid silently refused to admit it. "Are you gonna apologuse to her?" Sougo nodded briefly. 

"I'll only ecer apologise to Sis', so don't exoect anything in the future if I annoy you or whatever". 

"That's fine by me. You can be sure that I won't be doing the same. But I'm sure your sister wants to apologise too, for not telling you sooner. I'm sure she feels really bad about it. No matter what, she always put your well-being before her own. Think about that, and then consider your next move from here". 

"...Fine. I got it". Sougo stood up from the ground, but lingered a little, much to Hijikata's curiosity. Sougo then picked up an odd rock from the earth. Hijikata smiled. 

"You wanna learn to skip it?" 

"...". Sougo raised the rock, aiming towards the lake. His first try...There was no way he'd skip it cleanly and instead throw the rock into the water until it sunk to the bottom- 

"Kuh...!" Suddenly, Hijikata felt a blunt force strike him in the face. Blood slid down his nose from the impact. The rock...Sougo threw it at...him...There was a pause, a smirk crossing Sougo's face as he dusted off his hands. Hijikata stood there, wondering the hell he did wrong to deserve that. But tyere was no time to ask as the rage built up until it exploded. "You...You...You little shiiiiiit!" 

Hijikata gave chase towards Sougo. Laughing hysterically, Sougo made a run for it. Hijikata cursed, spouting threats which Sougo brushed off. As they played their empty game of cat and mouse by the lake, Mitsuba stood by the path, watching them. It was a good idea to step in and break it up before things got worse. But for a moment she stood quietly in wonder, smiling. Sougo seemed to have cheered up a little, although she chose to ignore the possibility that her little brother felt better when smacking Hijikata in the face with a rock. Whatever he said, it must have gotten through to him. But Mitsuba knew now she could no longer avoid this. She had to think about herself for once, seeing as Sougo was definitely not alone anymore. It was decided; she would get better from this unknown sickness...For both her sake, and their's. If she couldn't prevent them from worrying, the least she could do was ease their fears by getting treatment. 

... 

... 

A few months went by since Hijikata's arrival. Time seemed to fly by during the beginning of that summer. After working so hard, Hijikata had gone to great heights in martial arts training, alongside Kondo. He had officially fit in, although Sougo's opinions on Hijikata were still questionable. Whenever he was given the right opportunity, Sougo would do everything in his power to mess with Hijikata, and return he would receive the same butnwith less style. In fact, Hijikata had proven quite clearly that he had a short temper and would chase Sougo around or pick a fight whenever he was provoked to do so. That aside, Hijikata was often welcomed with smiles. There were no good-byes whenever he went out. It always a "see you later". He had succeeded enough to treat everyone as an equal and eventually stopped refering to varies members of the dojo as "senpai" or "sensei". After all, he was vastly reaching the rank of a black belt in training. 

Mitsuba, on the other hand, had finally decided to go see a doctor when an appointment was due. Nobody else knew about it yet, as a horde of guys would only worry, shedding their tough and manly demeanor over their rock, which was Mitsuba. She was one of the most realiable and hard-working people of the dojo, after all. Not to mention she played the role of big sister often. She was lovable, sweet, kind... And it only got Hijikata get worked-up, as those thoughts constantly made him feel irritated-with himself. He sat atop a set of stone steps that led to the shrine in one direction and the city in another. He waited, his back leaning against the tall over hang that acted like an entrance to the shrine. He ran his fingers through his hair, which was still quite long. He would probably have it cut again. That way Sougo would stop calling him girly. 

He was waiting for Mitsuba's return, although he felt silly for doing so. If anybody around the shrine asked, Sougo was to say that she went out for a walk with Hijikata-as much as he hated to. No one was to worry until Mitsuba came back with news of her appointment. If it was good, then no one would have to worry. Eventually, somewhere around noon-after waiting for half an hour or so-Mitsuba finally walked uo those steps with a calm smile on her face. Hijikata sat up straight, keeping a straight face as he tried to hold back any doting feelings. 

"Well? How did it go?" He asked patiently, standing to his feet with his hands in his pants pockets. Mitsuba's smile didn't fade, and that was a sign that it must have been good news, or... 

"The doctor ran some tests, she was very supportive, and, well...they're still waiting for results, as am I". 

"Is that so? Why, what kind of tests did they run?" 

"I described my condition to them and they considered tuberculosis, so they ran a chest x-ray and a skin test. It'll take a little while, but they'll send a letter to give my a diagnosis or to tell me that I have nothing to worry about". 

"Really...How are you-ahem...How are you, uh, feeling right now? Are you...okay?" 

"I'm fine, just a little tired. I haven't walked such a distance in a while". 

"Maybe I should have come with you, for, y'know, morale support?" 

"Haha, that's sweet of you, but I'd feel a little embarrassed if you saw me in one of those hospital gowns. I managed, so there's no need to worry so much". 

"We should head back then so you can rest easy. Come on...". 

Mitsuba followed Hijikata's lead along the trail towards the dojo. It wasn't a long walk, unless they took a nice, relaxing pace so that Mitsuba had time to catch her breath. She didn't appear physically weak, therefore Hijikata wanted to believe that she just missed out on a little bit of sleep. Not that that was a good thing, just...He was having awkward thoughts again. 

"So, how has Sou-chan been doing? I mean, how has he been taking this?" 

"Don't worry about that brat. He's a little too over-protective of you, but he's a strong kid, y'know. He aims for my knees the most". 

"Hahaha...You silly boys...You know, it may seem a little hard to believe, but Sou-chan might see you as a big brother, just like he does with Kondo-san". 

"Hah, yeah right...". 

"No, I'm serious. In fact, I've been meaning to ask a favour of you, Toushiro-san". 

"Hm? What kind of favour? If it's to do with that brat then-". 

"Please hear me out. I know I can't look after Sou-chan forever because he needs to be indeoendent from his sister someday. And if, for some reason, Kondo-san isn't able to watch out for him, then...Would you please take care of him? Would you look out for Sou-chan for me?" 

"...!" 

"I know such a request seems disagreeable when you look at how often you two fight, but Sou-chan needs someone to rely on other than myself and Kondo-san. He needs some level of disipline if he's ever going to grow up. So...Would you? This isn't just for my sake. It's mainly for Sou-chan's". 

Her request was arguabley disagreeable, if impossible. Sougo appeared to harbour some sadistic hatred against Hijikata-that was clear from the very begnning. To look after him like a littoe brother behind the scenes would mean that Hijikata would have to endure the abuse of a spoiled brat. He wasn't one to stand down if he was being treated a certain way, but...Mitsuba smiled kindly as she conveyed her request. She was being as sincere as ever with the same smile. And it was quite hard to argue with her. Hijikata sighed, deeply: defeated by that smile. 

"O-okay, fine. I'll watch his back, but don't think for a second I'll get on my knees for a child like him". 

"No, I don't expect you too. Sou-chan can be a handful sometimes, but I think you can manage, Toushiro-san. I would like to think, deep down, that Sou-chan is just jealous of you and that it isn't something lik hatred". 

"...". Hijikata doubted that. Sougo must have hated him to some extent, having looked at him with pure contempt as well as displaying violent acts. For Hijikata to look out for him behind the scenes...How was he supposed to pull that off without getting killed first? 

"...Oh, look. Seems like the flowers are in full bloom". 

Mitsuba quickly switched subjects, staring up at the over-grown tree branches from over-head. They displayed flowers with pale yellow and pink petals. Hijikata shrouded his eyes with his hand, narrowing them as the sunlight seeped through the gaps in the branches and leaves. Looking around, tye flowers had grown through shrubbery and bushes along the path creating a large wall. They had both stopped to take it all in, although Mitsuba was more amazed. If she also left for Tokyo, she would probably end up far away from all of this beauty. Hijikata brushed his fingers to soft petals, the paoe yellow shade shining in the sunlight. He scooped his fingers underneath, almost effortlessly picking it from its stem. He then turned to Mitsuba, anxious, as she stared out towards the city that lay far ahead. He wasn't sure about doing this himself, but decided "screw it" and lept into the fire hoping he would make it out alive instead of crashing and burning in embarrassment. 

"A-ahem...". He cleared his throat, holding the flower behind his back until Mitsuba turned around, another gentle smile forming on her lips. In this light she appeared so...radient. "U-uh, I know your brother would stab me for this, but...here...Um, stay still for me". 

He revealed the flower, gingerly reaching out to shift her hair aside before gently placing the flower behind her ear. Her cheeks turned a light shade of pink as she ran her fingers over the petals. 

"...Thank you". She murmered, embarrassed but flattered. 

"Ah...W-we should head back now...Um, th-this way...". 

Hijikata began tio walk on ahead, his cheeks red and his legs as stiff as boards. Mitsuba watched him go for a moment, giggling softly before shaking her head to herself. She followed, catching up to him in no time. It was a pleasure to see such a composed man like Hijikata get so easily flustered. Mitsuba even dared to say that he was..kind of cute. Over these past couple of months, Mitsuba had developed certain feelings towards Hijikata. It was hard to say without feeling embarrassed, and she barely recognised them. But those feelings made her want to stay by his side for a long time. These feelings...They were strong and special. And she wondered if...Hijikata felt the same way and that he wasn't just flustered... 

... 

Returning to the dojo, both Hijikata and Mitsuba were informed that everyone was meeting in the training room for some big announcement from Kondo. They glanced at eachother, puzzled and curious, following a few of the guys towards the training room. Everyone was gathered around, standing and waiting patiently as Kondo stood before everyone. Hijikata and Mitsuba both stood aside, watching and listening with everyone else. 

"Okay!" Kondo called out once the room fell silent. "Is everybody here? I have some very good news for you all. Over the past few months, most of us have been working part-time jobs to earn money and we've all worked very hard when training. But, well, recently I received word that they're starting up recruitment for district police a little ways from Yokohama...in Tokyo". 

Eyes glimmered at those words and a sudden sense of hope and opportunity spread throughout the room. At those words, everyone knew where this was going. 

"Since we've all worked hard...". Kondo continued. "They would like a collection of strong and willing individuals to take on training. With the help of our able instructor, we were able to apply. In about a week, we're supposed to set off to Tokyo and settle in. I'm sure we've all been waiting for an opportunity like this, along with a purpose to find a new start. This is perfect, right? This way we can gain new training experiences as well as serve some sort of purpose in our new lives. So, who's with me?" Several cheers of enthusiasm echoed within the hall. "I said who's with me!" They got louder, and the opportunities laid out before them was like a clear path, heading towards the city of Tokyo. Hijikata smirked, crossing his arms. 

"What do you know...Looks like we're going to Tokyo". 

"Wow, that's-kh!" Mitsuba let out a cough, but her smile remained. "That's-kh! W-wonderful-kh! Kh!" 

"Mitsuba...?" She was gripping her chest, coughing. "H-hey, are you alright?" 

"I, I'm fine...I've just been over-exerting myself a bit with that long walk...". 

"Well, don't push yourself. Do you wanna rest? I'll get you some water" 

"Kh! Haa...See? Behind that hard exterior, I knew that...you were a gentle person, Toushiro-san". 

"Oi, why are you saying this now? Come on, get to your room and sit down. I'll get that water for you".

Her coughing-although it was mere coughing-faltered Hijikata's confidence in her test results. He was genuninally worried about this girl, seeing her this way. And all she could do was smile it off. Those test results had better provide some sort of ease in their minds. That's what Hijikata hoped for. 

... 

Things were a little quieter later that day, after everyone was starting to prepare for the following week. Mitsuba sat with Hijikata in her room, a glass of water in her hands and barely touched as she spaced out. 

"How's the cough?' He asked. 

"Better. Thank you very much, Toushiro-san". 

"...Does it hurt at all?" 

"No, I'm really alright. The water helped a lot, so...". 

It was hard to tell whether Mitsuba was faking a smile or if she was sincere. At least only after Hijikata found out about her health. She appeared to be feeling better; the coughing and weak look in her eyes ceasing for the time being. But she barely spoke. Perhaps she was afraid of having another coughing fit in Hijikata presence and simply tried not to encourage one. The sliding door on the other end of the room opened, and Kondo peered in. 

"Hey, you two. You kinda disappeared after the announcement. Is something wrong?" 

It would be alright, wouldn't it? This was Kondo, one of the most reliable people in the dojo. But it was Mitsuba's call. If she wanted to tell him about a cough and her worries about a doctor's test, then that was all her. 

"It's nothing, Kondo-san. I just started having a bit of a coughing fit and Toushiro-san got a glass of water for me. That's all it was". 

"I see...Hm, quite the gentleman, huh, Mitsuba?" Mitsuba giggled, seeing Hijikata get all shy over being called a gentleman. 

"Oi, don't call me something like that. It's weird...". 

"Haha, okay, Toshi. Okay. Say, when we get to Tokyo, I suppose we can apply to a high school; all three of us". 

"Yes, absolutely. Sou-chan would have to change elementary schools, too". Mitsuba was nodding along, smiling, yet Hijikata had a bad feeling. She didn't sound too serious to have meant those words. 

"That's true. Must be harder for a kid his age to make friends, but he should be fine. Anyway, I'll leave you two alone for now. We've got plenty of preoarations to make by next week and then it's off to Tokyo...Haa, see you guys soon". 

"Bye, Kondo-san". 

"See ya...". Hijikata acted more aloof, turning Mitsuba's way when they were alone again. She was holding something back. Hijikata found it hard to figure out himself, but he had a bit of a hunch as to why her words lacked their usual sincerity, why her smile seemed a little forced. He had a feeling and he didn't like how sickly it was, how his stomach turned whe he thought about it, how his heart felt heavier when looking at her face just now... He...couldn't stand this feeling. He couldn't stand these feelings... 

... 

Many preparations were made before they would leave for Tokyo. A few members had to apply to a new high school or college in Tokyo, some had to quit their part-time jobs and everyone had to take the time to reminise the dojo and their many memories there. Hijikata didn't have many himself, but in the short time that he had lived among the other men he had felt at home and at peace. If they were really going to Tokyo, he wanted to believe that it would last forever. Forever, huh... As he thought over and over about that concept alone, a letter arrived on the last day before they would leave for Tokyo: addressed to Mitsuba. 

Hijikata took it upon himself to conceal this letter from everyone ekse, aside from her. He headed to her bedroom to deliver it, dreading the results. Upon entering the room, knocking prior to that, Hijikata saw that she was indeed in her room with a bowl of ramen in front of her and a bottle of hot sauce in hand. She poured out the fiery red substance in thick swirls around what was once a bowl of ramen noodles. That couldn't have been good for her stomach... He brushed it off, though, entering with the letter in hand. 

"Oh, Toushiro-san...". She greeted him with a smile, placing down the empty bottle on the floor. "What brings you to my-...". She paused, spotting the letter in Hijikata's hand. "That letter...Is it...". 

"I didn't read it or anything. I just came to deliver it to you and...hear the results, if that's okay". 

"Sure, of course. Have a seat". 

Hijikata sat down with her on the floor, watching Mitsuba tear open the envelope before pulling out the note inside. She read to herself, without giving off any expression that may or may not have been good or bad news. She was quiet up until she finished reading, and then lowered the letter in hand, keeping up a soft smile and saddened eyes. 

"M-Mitsuba...?" 

"They, uh...The doctors have diagnosed me with tuberculosis...I have a...lung disease, apparently. B-because of that...they want me to stay for a few months of treatment, maybe longer if it gets worse". She didn't stop smiling, and Hijikata didn't get upset-not visibly anyway. 

"So does this mean you..This means you can't...come to Tokyo with us if they wanna keep you here for treatment...". She nodded. 

"That's right...I can't...be with everyone, but I can't possibly tear this away from them. Meaning I'll have to stay here at the dojo until I get better". 

Hijikata clenched his fists in his lap, although he maintained a straight and collected facial expression. Mitsuba had to stay, otherwise she wouldn't be able to get treatment. She already had a doctor in Yokohama, and she would be much more comfortable there. If they wanted to admit her into hospital, too... 

"Fine...". Then... "That's fine. I think you should stay here with our instructor and get treatment as soon as possible. If you come with us, then it'll nly put your health at risk. Tokyo's different from Yokohama, surely. It's much more crowded, the streets could be dangerous and you already have an assigned doctor here. So...I think it is best that you stay put". Hijikata stood up, heading for the door. Mitsuba was speechless, unable to argue with him as the words were caught in her throat. He really wanted her to stay...He wasn't looking back for a moment. 

"Toushiro-san...You really...But if I stay...". 

"It's for the best, y'know. Besides, if you come with us...it might be a burden on everyone else. Sorry for the intrusion". 

"Toushiro-san...". Hijikata swiftly left, not looking back. Not for a moment, although his thoughts were racing, questiin why he spoke to her like that all of a sudden. He couldn't stand it...These feelings...He couldn't stand them... But now they felt heavier than before. Damn it... 

... 

He couldn't understand why he felt so irritated, mainly with himself. As a distraction, Hijikata tried to practice alone in the training room during the evening. After all, it was the last chance he got until tomorrow. But he couldn't concentrate, no matter how many times he tried to brush this off. So after building up sweat and diminishing his energy, Hijikata stopped and thought about all of this for a moment, wishing to face this already. He knew it was for the best; having Mitsuba stay at the dojo to get better while everyone left for Tokyo. But the way he acted was cold and distant, just like when they first met. This heavy feeling weighing down his heart was something Hijikata wanted nothing to do with. He had a bad feeling that it would sink deeper and deeper, like an abyss of attachment and this new-found affinity towards Mitsuba. She wanted to be with everyone, but she had to stay. Hijikata...thought it was best for her to stay, and so these heavy feelings would be left behind as well. 

He didn't want to get attached again, not when knowing that it couldn't last forecer like this. He didn't want these feelings, and he didn't want hers. So if he could leave without turning back, then maybe there was a chance they could both stay safe from getting hurt. 

"Oi, Hijikata-san...". Hijikata turned around, towards the door to the training room. Sougo had come forth, alone, with an irritated expression on his face. He approuched. "What exactly did you say to my sister earlier? She told me that...she was sick. Like, really sick and that she needs to stay here, but...I don't want her to stay. I think she should come with us and-". 

"Heh, so you are just a kid, after all. Get your head outta the clouds, Sougo. Mitsuba needs to stay and get treatment from her own doctor in her own home. If she can't come with us, then so be it". 

"...? What the hell is with you? Didn't you try to get close to her before? So why are you pushing her away now?-I thought you would want her to come along too, since you like my sister that much". 

"Don't get the wrong idea about me. I never tried to be in any sort of relationship with your sister. I don't see her that way". 

"That's bull'! It's bull' and you know it, Hijikata!" 

"Shut up. You're noisy. I'm gonna tell Kondo-san about this, and he can tell her himself that he want her to get better". 

"...! Are you serious? I...I respect Kondo-san since he's like a brother to me, but...Why the hell does he have to know about this?!" 

"Why would you try and hide it?! Your sister is sick-she needs help!" 

"But she wants to leave, too! It's a selfish request she made-but weren't you the one who said that she could be selfish?!" 

"Don't try to bite me in the ass with that, you damn brat. This is different...Understand that much, if you really care about your sister". 

"Hey, what's with all the yelling in here". In the middle of their argument,mitmwas only natural for Kondo to step in and interupt. He saw the two, as per usual and got inbetween them. "Alright, break it up, you two. What happened now?" 

Sougo turned his head away, annoyed. He didn't want Kondo to know, otherwise his sister would have to stay at the dojo, despite wanting to leavs. But, even so, as annoying as it was, Hijikata was right. And he couldn't do much to stop him, realistically speaking. In his perfect world, his sister could come with them to Tokyo. In his perfect world, she wouldn't be sick in the first place. Because of all of this, how she pampered and spoiled him until now, how she ignored her own wants and needs over her brother's...Sougo had come to really respect his sister. With nothing left to say, nothing to argue with anymore, Sougo left the room with his head held low. Kondo stood there, puzzled by these events, and thus turned to Hijikata for answers, and no bullshit. 

"Toshi, what's going on exactly? Tell me...". 

"...". 

... 

Hijikata revealed everything about Mitsuba's health and her treatment. Kondo listened intently to every word, despite knowing where this whole conversation was going. He hated to do this, especially towards a dear friend like Mitsuba. However, everyone would safely agree that it was for her own good if they knew. 

"You're not wrong, Toshi. Mitsuba needs medical treatment, having neglected her health for a great chunk of her life. There's no need to feel guilty about this, although I understand if you sympathise with her". 

"...It's not like that". 

"...?" 

"I don't feel guilty, because I know this is the right thing to do whether she likes it or not. What if she got worse along the road? What if we're unable to afford medical treatment for her in Tokyo? Here, we have our instructor to take care of her and help her when she needs it. I'm not gonna feel guilty for making the right decision". 

"Hm...". Kondo smiled, despite Hijikata's cold words. "You're not taking this news very well, are you?" 

"...! Wh-what do you...". 

"I've known you for only a few months, Toshi. Yet I can already read your personality and way of thinking like a book. I can see how much this is hurting you, having to leave Mitsuba behind for her own sake. You two had bonded and formed quite the friendship. In fact, if I didn't know any better, I'd say that you-". 

"Are you getting the wrong idea, too? I don't-". 

"Toshi, listen to me, open your eyes. I can see that you have feelings for Mitsuba, yet you don't want to admit that because you don't want to hurt her or get hurt yourself, right? To say those things when on the brink of leaving her behind would be painful for anyone. A guy like you would rather pass her by, coldly and without feelings because it's easier. Am I right or am I wrong?" 

"You...". He couldn't say it. It was too difficult. Too difficult to admit this to anyone at all. But...But if he didn't say something, the weight would sink and sink until it was too painful to utter a word. If it was Kondo, then... "You're...not wrong". He muttered it, head lowered. "You're not wrong, Kondo-san". He repeated, clenching his fists tightly in his lap. 

"I thought so. Men are easier to read when they don't have their head held high all the time. I'm sorry, Toshi, but you can't dwell on it. Usually I would support something like romance between comrades, but due to the circumstances...". 

"I get it. I get it already...". 

"So what are you gonna do?" 

"...". Hijikata didn't know how to go about this. Well, he had a feeling that it was better to get out of this with a cold shoulder and a chilled heart. If it wasn't that, then it was just painful for them both. It was going to be a lot worse. He was honestly reluctant, but as of now he had to hold his head high and revert back to his old attitude if it meant sparing them both of pain. Because this feeling...This unfamiliar, unwanted feeling was dragging Hijikata's heart further and further into his stomach for as long as he waited around. He had never felt it before, yet he recognised it. After spending so much time with Mitsuba, he knew what this feeling was and, sadly, he knew that she felt the exact same way. 

... 

It was night. Everyone had gone to bed, other than Hijikata. He headed straight to Mitsuba's room when everything had gone quiet. He was prepared: prepared to knock, to enter and to tell her straight that she was unable to come with everyone. She probably already knew, and was perfectly aware in the first place that it wasn't possible when she needed medical treatment above all else. When he stood before her bedroom door, ready to take a breath, he was caught off guard upon seeing that the door was already open a little. Unconsciously, he was able to see through to the other side. A second door was open: leading to the outside. From what Hijikata could see, Mitsuba sat out there, looking towards the sky. This was the point when he took in a breath and headed inside her room to meet her. 

"Sorry for the intrusion". He muttered, gaining Mitusba's attention. She looked over her shoulder while he approuched and headed outside with her. 

"T-Toushiro-san, you're...". 

"Yeah. I came to...give you a personal good-bye, since I doubt we'll see eachother for a long time". 

"Ah...I see". Mitsuba appeared disheartened by those words, lowering her head. Hijikata sat down beside her, looking up at the sky. To be honest, he hated o do this, but... 

"Mitsu-". 

"Toushiro-...ah...". They ended up awkwardly interupting eachother, averting their gazes away from the other. But as soon as thing went quiet between them, Mitsuba decided to speak. "Toushiro-san, I know that staying here is for my own good. I know being here means I can get treatment in a comfortable and familiar place. But...even so, I want to go with everyone to Tokyo. I want to stay with all my friends, and Sou-chan. I want to stay with you, too, Toushiro-san...". 

"...". His cheeks flared red, his brow furrowed. How could he still get so embarrassed around her? "Listen to me, if you understand that, then don't tell me about it again. If you understand what's good for you, then there's nothing left to say. I came here to give you a personal good-bye, as a friend of yours. So here it is...Mitsuba, I hope-". 

"Toushiro-san, stop. I just have to tell you one more thing-". 

"Will you knock it off already?" Hijikata stood to his feet, facing Mitsuba, casting his shadow over her. "I don't want to hear anymore. Why the hell must you make things more painful for yourself? Hasn't neglecting your health been enough? Whatever...Whatever feelings you have for me...They mean nothing". 

"...But I...Toushiro-san, I...I lo-". 

"I don't care. It's of no concern to me. It's better if we say good-bye now and spare you the pain later, 'cause I won't be here to return those feelings of yours. I don't care about it at all". 

Hijikata then turned around and walked away; far away along the path, heading back around towards the front entance of the dojo. He didn't turn back once, and he refused to feel regret or guilt for this. If it was to protect her, and to help her get better by staying in Yokohama, then this was the easiest route. If she hated him even a little for this, then that was okay. That way the wounds wouldn't be as deep as something as fickle as "love". That's how she felt...and that's how he... It wasn't worth it. He was leaving the next day, leaving because he needed to be by Kondo's side. He wished to go to Tokyo for a fresh start. What could be a better start for a former thug than training to become a member of the police force? He wanted to better himself, to become a better man. It was a little late due to his earlier tone and harsh words, but Hijikata wanted to become a better man for Mitsuba. If he was going to feel like this for someone, he wanted to be sure that it would last for a long time. Nothing is forever, but if it's enough time to make memories with the person you love, as well as many others around you, then Hijikata wanted to grasp that opportunity and hold on. But right now it was better to walk away silently rather than face up to these painful feelings and cry. 

On that morning, Hijikata did not turn back. He did not glance over his shoulder as everyone turned around and waved their good-byes to Mitsuba. Despite everything that happened, she still smiled and cheered them on in her heart. She hoped to see them again, and she hoped that Hijikata would be there to talk to her like before. She wanted to see his blushing face, his most passionate moments and his smile. She wasn't oblivious. His reasoning for acting so coldly was so he could numb the pain of leaving everything behind. She was aware of it, and still...She wanted to see him again and to tell him how she felt properly. Although their last conversation left a gap between them, she didn't intend to be left behind again. Once she got better, she wished to return to everyone, to smile with them all again, face them instead of watching their backs as they left. She wanted, more than anything, to get to know Hijikata better, and tomexpress her feelings properly. Deep down...they both did... 

... 

Present Day... 

... 

The ashtray on the coffee table had cigaretre ashed scattered along the botton, and then finally Hijikata crushed the remaining cigarette at the bottom, his fingers staining black. Sitting back, he blew out the last puff of smoke as Kondo finished his last drink of the night. These memories were all so fuzzy, mixed together into one, flashing thought. Must have been the alcohol, although he wasn't drunk. 

"You lookd tired, Toshi. I suppose it's gotten pretty late, huh?" 

"Yeah...". 

"Mm? What's up? You've gone quiet". Hijikata sat up straight, rubbing the bridge of his nose, eye closed as he tried to wake himself up. 

"Sorry, Kondo-san. Guess I haven't been getting much sleep lately". 

"Oh, I see. Work keeps you busy, it can't be helped. Or is it perhaps something to do with you and Gin-san? Something that can't be discussed...". 

"I think you've had too much to drink". 

"Awh, don't be mean, Toshi~". 

"Ugh, you're even starting to sound like that natural perm...". 

"Hahaha, man, I never thought you two would ever get so close. Guess you really like eachother, then". 

"Mm...". 

"What with that? Don't be shy, Toshi...". 

Hijikata felt as though his thoughts were all out of shape. First he was thinking about Mitsuba and the next he's back to reality where he's dating a natural-permed sugar freaked named Gintoki Sakata. Such parallel thoughts...They contrasted eachother so much in Hijikata's life that it was almost puzzling. Mitsuba was so sweet and gentle, and Gintoki was...He was... 

"...". Hijikata lowered his head. Was it cowardly to try and cut off these thoughts again? To run away from them instead of getting upset and crying? Hijikata does not cry... 

"...Toshi, are you thinking about her?" 

"Hah, you're a lot sharper when that woman you like isn't around, you know that?" 

"What's that supposed to mean?!" 

"I...I haven't really thought about her since... I-it's not something I should dwelling on, so can we drop it?" 

"...It isn't something to dwell on, no. The past is in the past. But, Toshi, I have to ask...if you could go back and change things w-with her, would you?" 

"From now?" Wouldn't that be dandy? If he could do so, he wouldn't be dating Gintoki and perhaps he could spend his life with the woman he loved. Yes...the woman whom he "loved". The woman whom he "loved" very dearly, despute never saying it, never admitting it. "...I wouldn't. Time moves forward for a reason, Kondo-san. The past is something that makes us who we are, changes us. Although it hurts sometimes, we have no choice to move forward. Crying won't change anything, as, in the end, we can only improve ourselves and learn not to make the same mistakes". 

"Hm, you sound like Gin-san". 

"I know. He's the one who said that to me a few nights ago. We were talking and...he said those things to me with the most sincere smile...". 

That man's smile was gentle and lovable, it was goofy, perverse at times but he could bring himself to form a sincere and pleasant smile. Hijikata had grown accustomed to such a face. 

"Ah, see? You do like eachother. A lot, it seems". 

"Yeah, I guess we do...What a bother, huh?" 

"Meaning...?" 

"Liking a guy like that is a bother. I must be an idiot to go for someone with such a flawed personality". Hijikata didn't sound cold at all, as he couldn't possibly hide that smile. "He isn't that cute, he's perverted and has so many bad habits to count. But it's hard to turn my back to him at every opportunity as he pounces on my back instead, and clings on like an idiot". 

"You say all that yet you're smiling". 

"I am and I hate it". 

To be honest, Hijikata couldn't say that he didn't miss Mitsuba. At some point, he did truely love her. That was no secret. But after so long the pain seemed so distant, and no matter how many times he thought about it, the tears never came. Right now, they are just memories. Right now, Hijikata found himself smiling a lot more than ever, and that foreign feeling of shyness and embarrassment kept coming back...all thanks to that guy. To feel this guilt and regret from the past-so many regrets-wasn't worth the vast majority of a person's life. You feel pain, you may cry, and it heals within time. But Hijikata never cried. He stopped shedding tears after his mother's death, the tears dried up after his brother went blind and passed away himself, and Hijikata pretended that his tears weren't of sorrow after Mitsuba passed away, too. He wanted to hold back all the pain and sorrow, hold back the tears and the anguish while striving to move forward even if he had to drag his feet through the mud. Being with Gintoki like this, the sad memories hadn't gone away, but the pain did. The past pain, at least. The future would hold a lot more for Hijikata to bear while he dragged his feet forward. So why did he have this feeling that the tears weren't going to be as easy to hold back? Why? 

"Well, it's getting late. I think I'll head back home for the night. Thank you for having me, Toshi". 

"Oi, what happened to cutting out the formal talk? Haah, I'll see you out". 

Hijikata escorted Kondo to ths front door, where he slipped on his shoes, ready to say "see you later" until the following day. 

"I'll see you later, Toshi. Remember, you, me and Gin-san should all get drinks together sometime". 

"Sure, why not. I just hope he won't misbehave. See ya, Kondo-san". Hijikata opened the door, seeing Kondo off. He stood by his door frame until Kondo got into the elevator, waving away before the doors shut. As Hijikata was just about to enter his own apartment... 

"What the fuck do you mean by "misbehave"? I'm not a child, ya bastard". Gintoki practically burst out of his apartment, arms crossed, looking rather pissed. "I would feel hurt if I wasn't such a man's man. But even the manliest of men can feel the sting of cruelty against their hard exterior". 

"What are you still doing up?" 

"I came to give ya a big ol' goodnight kiss". 

"I already did that, remember?" 

"Nah, nah. That was a "see you later" kiss. This one is a "goodnight, sweet dreams, Gin-san~". Y'know?" 

"No, I don't know! Only clingy people say shit like that!" 

"Relax, relax. I'm kidding. Don't take everything I say so seriously". 

"So why are you here?" 

"I was still awake, and I heard you two walking around so I thought I would ask how...it was". 

"...? Haa...It was good to see him outside of work. He invited us to go drinking sometime". 

"Yeah, yeah. He said something like that. What kinda things did ya talk about?" 

"Y'know, just-...Hey, how come your so curious about this? If you wanna know, we can discuss this tomorrow but I think I'd rather sleep right now, if you don't mind". 

"Hey, I was just asking. But, fine, be that way. Poor Gin-san can't ask the guy he's dating about his friendships and whatnot. I'll just go to bed, alone". 

"Why the hell did you need to add the last part? Did you wanna come to bed with me or something? Huh?" 

"No, it's fine. I gotte work on the novek tomorrow anyhow, but we can talk about your little date tomorrow so you can gimme all the juicy details then. See ya". 

Gintoki was about to enter his apartment, but watching his back was somewhat bothersome after Gintoki stayed up just a little longer to ask about this stuff. Hijikata was ready for bed, but... 

"Alright, come on in. We can talk about it in bed, but no funny business". 

"The hell. You still don't trust me? Even I don't crave sex that much, moron". 

Gintoki entered Hijikata's apartment almost too comfortably, provoking yet another sigh from Hijikata. He didn't know what to think of this guy some days, no matter how much they actually thought alike. And through all of that, for some reason, Hijikata couldn't help but crack a smile. He wondered to himself; if Gintoki was capable of making such a stiff guy like Hijikata smile every once in a while, then what was there to say that Hijikata wouldn't ramble on to this man about all of his past pain and anguish. It had built up over the years, yet Hijikata could only reveal so much in tiny fracrions of his life. But what if, in front of this man, the dam would break and all of Hijikata's concealed emotions poured out at once out of trust, because he didn't want to make the same mistakes as before by keeping everything locked away. That didn't seem likely to happen, but then again Hijikata didn't expect to be dating this man-of all people. Even if it was just for a single, insignificant moment in Hijikata's life, when the world before him seemed much more open and full of possibilities, he wondered if he could ever regain that heavy burden in his heart again. After everything, would it be heavier, or would learning from his past make his heart lighter? Could he possibly... No...No way, not...Not with Gintoki. No way in hell would either of them take that seriously. Hijikata shook his head to himself, separating these thoughts from reality as he joined Gintoki inside the apartment. 

Although his memories hurt, although they were ordeals in his past, although nothing lasted forever, Hijikata intended to move forward. He wouldn't stop and cry anymore. He would look forward, eyes clear no matter what lay ahead next. But for now, in his mind, what lay before him was a set of broad shoulders, an impish grin, and a pair of focused eyes looking back at him, as well as his outretched hand...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love Hijikata relationship with Kondo so much... I love the Shinsengumi...Haah... And I made the interactions between Hijikata and Mitsuba so pure and stuff...as they should be. Fuuuuuuu-......Still, this is a Hijikata x Gintoki fanfic. One where Hijikata can open his heart to Gintoki and vise versa! It's been all that so far and it will continue! The Ginhiji bromance will continue (as well as romance)! And it'll be...adorable! I hope...


	23. A Heart of Glass

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am here. That is all, for now.

Wandering around this late at night had become a routine. The chilled, autumn air, the dark, empty sky and the dark, empty streets; Tsukuyo had become accustomed to this a long time ago. She didn't fear the streets of Tokyo, even during this time after she left work. As a female bouncer of a club, she knew how to defend herself. Even before working there, she had learned about self-defense from her late teacher. Over time, the path leading back to her apartment had seemed to shorten and the likelyhood that some thugs would jump her in the street was minimal. Walking alone, with her high heels tapping in a sort of rhythm against the concrete; echoing, Tsukuyo smoked her last cigarette of the night, brand named "Bitch". Flicking the ashes away, they scattered and were taken away by the current of the wind.

All was quiet, as per usual. Because of the usual routine, Tsukuyo had allowed her guard to slip. Even just a little, her defenses were down during that night, of all nights. She didn't expect such an inconvenience to arise that evening out of the blue. Tsukuyo could sense the presence creeping up behind her in the darkness. She did not react, nevermind panic. She was calm. Despite sensing the approuch of several individuals, she stopped to drop the remnants of her cigarette onto the ground, crushing it beneath her boot. Peering over her shoulder, her piercing gaze managed to put some distance between her and the group of thugs who decided to stalk her in the middle of the night. Just a bunch of guys who didn't look older than thirty, trying to gang up on a woman while no one else was around. How pathetic. 

"What do you bastards want?" She question, showing absolutely no fear or anxiety. As far as Tsukuyo was concerned, this situation was already under her control. 

"Woah, she's quite sharp". 

"Not to mention beautiful. Just like I told ya". 

"This chick's a bouncer? Come on, she can't be that strong to handle a bunch of perverts, especially the drunk and violent ones". 

"And you think you guys are any better?" Tsukuyo was not one to keep quiet. In this situation she knew she could stick up for herself, as well as over-power these guys. She knew where this was going to go. Oh, she knew. 

"Quite the talkative one, aren't ya? Well, why don't we talk some more, somewhere more private? We'll buy a few drinks and...". 

The men approuched further, bearing the eyes of disgusting beasts. Tsukuyo was readying herself to fight back when, as soon as they offered her drinks, another voice entered the scene. That, by the way, was Tsukuyo's inconvenience of the night. 

"Woah, fella's, trust me, you don't wanna drink with this girl. She's a violent drunk and will rip your balls clean off if ya try anything. Besides, taking advantage of a woman in the middle of the night, where nobody's around is pretty pathetic for a few grown men. Go play pachinko or play with your joysticks ya damn perverted old men. Trying to over-power a young woman is lowest of the low". 

Tsukuyo half expected this man, this "knight in shitty, rusted armor" to pull out a sword from his belt, ready to kick some ass for her sake. This man was none other than Gintoki Sakata, that natural-permed idiot. All eyes darted towards him as he approuched, with nothing but his fists to use as weaponary. Even still, a stubborn and stupid man like him would never stop to play the hero when it came to women. Although he wasn't much of a lady-killer. More like an old man trying to keep a cool image, or a teenage boy trying to protect the girl. Since when was this bastard a bishounen? Never; that's when. 

"Who the fuck are you?" 

"Are you her man or something? Seriously? Get lost, natural-permed freak". 

"Oi...Who the fuck do you think you are; making jokes about my natural perm? There's only one person that I know who's allowed to do that. You pickin' a fight? Hah, fine then. I'll give you a fight. Be sure as hell that I won't back down, in the name of this woman's safety and dignity-". 

"Kuh...!" 

Without letting him finish monologuing, Tsukuyo thrust her leg up and struck a jaw, belonging to one of the thugs when he least expected it. She continued, throwing skilled kicks as well as punches, pulling a guy's head down until his nose broke against her knee. Within a mere minute Tsukyo had knocked out her "attackers" with unmatched skill. She patted her skirt, a pile of bodies at her feet; unconscious, but not dead. Gintoki stared at the scene with a rather concerned expression on his face. The woman in front of him had effectively proven that she was just as manly as him, although that only counted for physical strength rather than lifestyle. 

"I could have done that, y'know". Gintoki protested. "Honestly, these days women really know how to hog all the glory, huh?" 

"Don't underestimate women. Otae-san would tell you the same thing". 

"...before pummling me into the ground, I know". 

It had been a while, since they were alone like this. Tsukuyo registered that fact in her mind with a casual "push back strands my hair behind my ear in a winsome way". She then shook this off by clearing her throat because why the hell would she want to appear as an endearing character in front of this guy? 

"So, ahem, h-how have you been...holding up, with the whole writing thing?" It was an awkward, round-about way of asking how Gintoki was because it would apparently be too "awkward" to be more direct. 

"Uh, good? How's your job?". 

"...It's fine. Haven't seen you around for a while. Where've you been?" 

"Around. I've avoided that place, seeing as I have a lot more respect for women than you think. Besides, Tatsuma was the one dragging me to that place screaming "marry me Crystal-chaaan!" I swear, that guy has no shame...". 

"Oh, yeah, that guy...He's banned from the club too, so I think everybody wins". 

"Yeah...".

"Anyway, don't say that as if you have shame. You're the most brazen guy that I've ever met". 

"Oi, even I feel shame, alright? But the most shameless guys are the most fun, as well as being the most annoying when their friends have to drag their drunk-ass home". 

"Yep. That sounds about right". 

"What do you look so collected for? You're a shameless person, especially when your drunk. I think the last time you had a drink, you tried to rip my clothes from my body. In the end you tore away both my shirt and my dignity-which are one and the same, really". 

"I don't even remember that". 

"Of course you don't. You were hammered". 

Tsukyo let out an irritated and embarrassed sigh to calm down, to prevent herself from overreacting. 

"Haa, whatever. We're not discussing it. I've gotta head home before Hinowa gets worried. You know how she is". 

"Need an escort? I'm supposed to be meeting someone in half-an-hour, but I've got some time". 

"Do I look like I need an escort? And...who're you meeting with? A friend?" 

"Something like that. I used to bump into him a lot in places like bars or ramen places, so we ended up becoming something like drinking buddies, sorta...kinda...". 

"I see. Then go meet with him. You're japanese, aren't ya? Isn't always custom to be on time, or even a little early?" 

"Yeah, but I follow my own rules. I'll make it, since our meeting spot isn't too far from here. I need to kill some time anyway, and we haven't really spoken much, so...". 

It was true that they had barely spoken over the past few months. Although Gintoki had his flaws that simply irritated and embarrassed Tsukuyo, he was good company in his more serious moments. He was her only male friend, honestly. In her line of work, and in her lifestyle, she found that avoiding men in general prevented a lot of unneeded feelings. But then Gintoki came along and most of her feelings towards him consisted of frustration, annoyance, embarrassment and...mutal friendship. Yes, that was it.

"...A-alright, fine. But if you're late to your meet-up, don't blame me". 

"It'll be fine. He's not one to cry over shit like being a little late anyway. He might get a little angry, but he'll get over it. I'm just being a gentleman". 

"Pah! You: a gentleman? That's a good one...". 

"Oi, why the hell do you always think the worst of me? That pisses me off...I can be a good guy, you're just judging me before you really get to know me". 

"I think I know you pretty well already". 

That was true; they had gotten to know eachother fairly well since they met. A lot had happened since then. Gintoki wasn't all bad. When it came down to it, he could be a good guy. Hell, if he could handle Tsukuyo's constant abuse as a defense mechanism towards his perversion then he was pretty tough on the outside and the inside. She did sound quite harsh, even when he didn't deserve it, and for that she felt guilty to a certain extent. Talking with him like this again; it felt like they were two friends in high school, although they were a boy and a girl so people often got the wrong idea when seeing them together. As Gintoki once said; "Children and adults aren't that different when it comes to their social lives. They try to be liked by everyone and make a huge fuss when a friend talks about them or betrays them by dating the person whom they like". He was right, in a weird way. Even some adults were incredibly immature. But to back track to her original train of thought, being around Gintoki wasn't so bad. He was like a best friend, who was coincidentally male. Nothing more to it, in her conscious mind. But her unconscious, the realm of her uncertainties and greatest wishes..She often wondered-puzzled-about what she really thought. 

... 

Gintoki took Tsukuyo to the front entrance of her apartment building, which was the right time for Gintoki to start heading back towards this meeting place. 

"This is my stop. Although it wasn't necessary". 

"It's no big deal. Can't have a bunch of pervy old men gang up on you again, otherwise Hinowa and Seita really would worry". 

"I know they would. So...". 

Tsukuyo wasn't sure where to go from here. The best, and most obvious, option was a quick and cleanly cut goodbye. Instead she felt the need to ball up her fist and brush her knuckles across Gintoki's jaw like she was a bro or something weird like that. 

"Good talk, Gintoki. I'll, uh, see ya later". 

"Sure, good talk". Gintoki then balled up his fist, patting it against Tsukuyo's shoulder very lightly before backing away smoothly, waving a "see you later" to Tsukuyo as he walked off. "See ya, Tsukuyo. Have a good night". 

"You too".

Tsukuyo watched as Gintoki walked off, noticing how broad his shoulders looked when he wore more layers; a soft-looking coat and a red scarf around his neck. She watched for a few moments before the embarrassment and the awkwardness caught up with her. She felt foolish, having exposed such an awkward side of herself in front of a guy like him. Even after disgarding her womanhood a long time ago, somehow any remnants of that womanhood came crawling back whenever Gintoki showed up. She felt weak at the knees, her stomach turning slightly, her cheeks flushing. This was foolishness in her eyes. Sighing, she entered the apartment building. Seeing her family at the end of the night would surely wash away these unnecessary thoughts. 

... 

Five minutes. Five minutes had past since Gintoki was supposed to arrive. With a cigarette between his lips, a cold chill passing through Hijikata's body-despite wearing a coat and leather gloves-he stood there under the beaming light within a dark part of the city, compared to the rest of it. A brightly lit up vending machine stood behind him. The snacks within provoked a low growl from Hijikata's stomach as he had not eaten yet. Work kept him busy, as per usual yet it was going to get a whole lot busier, as far as he knew. Flicking his wrist, Hijikata checked his watch. Under this light, the thin dials were reaching the ten minute mark. Ten minutes late... He should have expected this. After all, Gintoki wasn't a very punctual person in the first place. But as Hijikata felt the annoyance and slight anger build up in his hot-headed mind, a natural-permed moron came casually walking his way, casually smiling, and casually greeting him as though nothing was wrong. Did this guy not own a watch, as well as a cellphone? 

"Yo...". Gintoki greeted, noticing the semi-scary look on Hijikata's face. He would soon find out the source of such deep furrows. 

"You're late. What kept you?" 

"Hey, I knew this would happen. Look, I apologise for allowing you to stand out in the cold for...". 

"About fourty minutes". 

"Jesus, you're way to punctual. Anyway, I'm sorry for keeping you waiting. I was having a conversation, escorting a young lady home, lost track of time". 

"You were...escorting someone home?" 

"Tsukuyo. I told ya about her, remember? Still have to introduce you two. Or...would that be too awkward seeing as I escorted her home before coming here sooner?" 

"At least you're honest...". 

"Hey, don't be like that. I'm here now, so let's go grab a few drinks and head back to your place for tonight. If you continue to dwell on the little things, your bigger problems will only seem bigger. C'mere, you". 

Gintoki unraveled the red scarf around his neck, approuching Hijikata to let him borrow it for a while. Gently, he wrapped the clothing piece around Hijikata's neck and over his shoulders a few times, fluffing it up to ensure it wasn't too tight. It was warm, and smelled very sweet. Hijikata's heart felt like it was being squeezed tightly as Gintoki's familiar scent got in the way of his sense of smell, making his head feel a little fuzzy. 

"There ya go. Better?" Gintoki, just to make sure Hijikata was warmed up, rubbed his hands over Hijikata's arms and stood quite closely to him, but didn't make an attempt to kiss him. 

"Yeah, that's better. But I'm still pissed that you showed up late". 

"Ten itty-bitty minutes. Don't get your damn panties in a twist 'cause I'm late by only ten minutes. I'm here now, see?" 

"Haah...Whatever. Let's just drink, and get food. I'm starving". Hijikata began to walk, and Gintoki followed by his side. 

"Ah? You haven't eaten?" 

"Work..It's because of work". 

"Geez, at this rate you'll start losing weight and muscle. But, fine, just this once I'll treat us to some really good, cheap ramen down at Pop's place. Order whatever you like in whatever quantity". 

"I appreciate that, but-...". 

"No buts. I'm serious. I know better than anyone that skipping meals means that your skipping out on the priorities in your health. I actually collapsed a few times during work because I neglected my diet". 

"Seriously?! Isn't that way more worrying?!" 

"Relax, relax. I don't go through any of that anymore since Granny sets deadlines that are more fair, therefore I can keep up. I don't do that many all-nighters anymore and I quit smoking a long time ago, so it's all good". 

"You say that so casually, too...". 

"There's no need to worry. Gin-san is perfectly fine in terms of physical health, especially since you forced me into yoga". 

"I'm not forcing you. Besides, you've gotten a lot more flexible, haven't you?" 

"Hmph, you would know". 

"I don't mean it like that, pervert!"

Hijikata seemed especially tense tonight, perhaps because they skipped a few nights of intimacy and instead cuddled up after staying up later than usual due to Gintoki's requests for a massage. He requested those, followed by his excuse of: "I've been sitting in the same chair all day and my back hurts". He partially understood that he was pushing Hijikata a little far since he had to work too and he wasn't exactly used to staying up late. For two men in their late twenties, "late at night" ranged from ten to eleven at night. They were usually tired by then, waking up groggy or refreshed due to the warm and comfortable cuddling. Anyway, he was usually more relaxed on dates and only got easily annoyed on fewer occassions. But tonight his short-temper was a little shorter. Nothing that couldn't easily be fixed by a warm meal and some alone time with Gintoki. 

"Oi, Hijikata, lemme take your hand until we get to the ramen place". 

"E-eh?! Wha-...?!" Absolutely. Of course he would get all flustered. How cute... 

"Don't whine. My hands are cold and you're wearing leather gloves, meaning it'll be toasty and warm. There's no one around so don't be so nervous". 

"I-I'm not being...nervous! Mn...". Hijikata clenched his fist tightly as they slowly continued to walk at a slow and steady pace. But it didn't take long for him to cave it, and slowly reached his hand out to Gintoki. There wasn't anyone around, so no one would see... Gintoki smiled faintly, taking a hold of Hijikata's hand gratefully. 

"Thanks. Ahh, that's much better. So much warmer...Plus, I get to see something pretty cute at the same time". 

"Yeah right...Don't spout crap like that out loud. Doesn't it embarrass you?" 

"Nope. We've been dating for a while, so you'd think doing stuff like this is normal, right?" 

"Something like this, with you...Th-there's no way that's normal". 

"But you don't hate it, right?" 

"...". 

Hijikata refused to respond, averting his eyes to make sure that no one was around to see them together like this. But he didn't hate this. He didn't hate holding Gintoki's hand. It was nice, despite being unable to feel the chill and the softness of his skin, the feeling of having his fingers squeezed blocked by the barrier of leather. Even so, his heart still raced knowing that he was actually holding Gintoki's hand. He naturally felt strange for doing this, for being so open about their relationship in an empty space where no one could look and stare and judge them without a second thought. But his chest stilled ached; embarrassed and anxious. 

"Hijikata, you're trembling". 

"Shut it, damn sugar freak! It's...It's cold out! I can't help it...". 

"Haha, seriously, don't be so nervous. The only time a man should tremble this hard is when he's either taking a shit or confessing to a girl during high school; they're both the same, though". 

"How are those two things similar?!" 

"Both are hard, stressful, ya sweat a lot, and it's a huge relief once it's all over. But it can be a pain later on, and you hold some regrets in your heart like eating that spicy food earlier, or practically begging the girl to go out with you. It shouldn't have happened". 

"Only you can link those two things together! No one else would say weird shit like that!" 

"Back to my point; relax and take this at a steady pace. If you really do feel uncomfortable with stuff like this, at least right now, I'll let go of your hand and we can walk together normally". 

At that, Hijikata was at a loss for words. His mind had frozen, but his legs hadn't stopped moving. His hand tightened around Gintoki's despite being unsure as to whether he should let go or not. To avoid this awkward feeling, it would have been for the best to let go and walk normally. However, this gentleness and breath-taking moment was rare. Having no one around to see them like this made things a lot less difficult. And even Gintoki wouldn't hold hands with another man in public. So, despite feeling embarrassed, Hijikata wanted to hold onto this moment for just a little while longer. 

"It's alright, actually. W-we can keep...doing this until we arrive. I don't mind that much...". 

Although surprised, Gintoki's smile returned and a squeeze of Hijikata's fingers ensured that he didn't plan on letting go any time soon. 

"Understood...". 

... 

The lights were certainly on inside, meaning Pop's was still working. Gintoki entered the little restaurant first, looking around to see the place empty, aside from the old man standing behind the counter. 

"Hey, Pop's. Still open?" 

The old man behind the counter, wiping it down with a cloth, smiled when spotting his two most valuble customers enter the shop. 

"Ah, my two favourite regulars. We were going to close soon, but I suppose you two can have the last two bowls of the night. Take a seat". 

"Thanks, Old Man". Hijikata thanked him, the usual feeling of comfort surrounding them both upon entering their favourite ramen place and taking a seat at the front counter, as per usual. Hijikata shifted a cigarette from the pack, placing it between his lips. He reached for his lighter within his coat pocket, setting the cigarette alight. "Hey, Pop's, do mind getting an ashtray?" 

"No problem. Aside from that, what can I get for you fella's?" 

"Two bowls of the usual, Pop's. Just the way we like it". 

"Coming right up. And I assume you would like the usual serving of sake?" 

"Yeah, thanks". 

"You got it. Sit tight". 

The old man brought out that ashtray for Hijikata from behind the counter before he headed into the back room to fetch some ingredients, and the two were left alone in this quiet restaurant. 

"Never a dull moment in this place, huh?" 

"Couldn't have put it better myself". Hijikata gladly agreed, flicking a collection of ash into the pottery ashtray. 

"So, you said over the phone that you had something to talk about. Now that we've settled down, you wanna spill the beans now and get it over with? What happened?" 

Hijikata blew out a cloud of smoke, his expression more serious than it was mere moments ago. Before they met up, during the day, Gintoki called Hijikata to ask if they could meet up for a date. Hijikata then followed up with "there's something I have to tell you later. It's nothing to worry about, I just have some news that you need to know about". Naturally Gintoki was curious, but not worried. If Hijikata said that there was nothing to worry about then he trusted him. 

"I, ah, got a call yesterday from Kondo-san. He said he had some important news for me and that a certain police force up in Hokkaido required my assistance for a huge murder case. It was pretty sudden, but under the circumstances they've called for me near to last minute because of that stubborn bastard Sasaki". 

"So, what does that-...I mean, are they asking you to...go up there as a member of their investigation?" 

"They did. As the "brains of the Shinsengumi" they called for me, as well as a few of our top police officers to assist in Hokkaido. This means that I'll be taking a trip up there for a while". 

"Jesus Christ...Are they so lost that they need another police force to come help? How long do you have to go for?" 

"They estimated two to three weeks...". 

"That long?!" Gintoki dumped his composure and casual attitude to the side, flabbergasted. "Wait, wait, wait! That's...nearly a month!" 

"I know, it's quite a long time. But depending on the investigation and how court goes, it could take as long as three weeks-maybe not. Two weeks seems a little more realistic. I just hope the police up there get their heads outta their asses. I've never known Sasaki to be unorganised when it comes to work. Maybe his "almighty police force" got too cocky with their investigation skills and have been half-assing their work. Honestly...". 

"Fuckin' hell...". 

"Are you angry?" 

"Yeah, kind of. Not so much at you, seeing as you don't have much of a choice. It is work and, knowing you, you won't let a big case like this slip by unsolved, now would you?" 

"Of course not. But I still feel a little bad about it, since we won't be able to see eachother for a while". 

"Hey, hey, come on, Hijikata. We're big boys now, there's no need to cry over spilled milk. It's your job, so all I can say is "work hard, Mr Policeman" and that would be the end of it. So...work hard, Mr Policeman". 

"...You really don't mind?" 

"I mind that those tax robbers are gonna end up working you to death, but I know how seriously you take your work. I'm not your parent or your spouse, I can't tell you what you can and can't do and expect you to follow orders because I "care so much about your safety" and all that bullshit. You're free to do as you please". 

"Gintoki... Alright. I kinda packed a bag or two anyway, so whether you were totally against it or not, I'm still going. I have to". 

"No arguments here. When are you leaving exactly?" 

"Tomorrow at noon". 

"Ah, good thing I invited you out. I suppose this is our last night together before you leave". 

"Don't say it as if I'll be gone forever. It's two weeks, at the very least. Haa, I'm gonna go take a leak". Hijikata crushed his remaining cigarette, standing up to head for the restroom. "Be right back". He left, and Gintoki was alone. Well, right up until Pop's returned to the counter with a tray; two bowls of ramen and a serving of sweetened sake. 

"Where's Hijikata-san? Restroom?" 

"Yeah. Thanks, Pop's". Gintoki poured himself a cup of sake, seperating his chopsticks. His stomach growled, but his mind wasn't focused on the deliciously scented ramen before him. 

"Is something the matter, Gin-san? You look quite glum. Usually when I see you come in here, in the same room with Hijikata-san, you get hot-headed and start an argument. Although, you two did come in here together, for a change...". 

"It's nothing, Pop's. I'm tired from working, nothing more than that". 

"If you're sure... You know, Gin-san, I'm curious...You've been a customer here ever since Otose-san first brought you. You've always been a valued customer, but not for your bills. You're a charming, stand-up young man who's only twenty-seven and single. Why continue wasting your time in here when you could be going to a bar or another restaurant with a lovely woman? These days, people judge character by their appearances instead of your personality. I'm sure if quite a few women got to know that charming, more sincere side of you, you'd be very popular". 

"I don't know about that, Old Man. I'm not very fond of serious relationships. When I was younger I would meet a young woman, flirt with her, buy a drink or two with her, and take her to a bed for a magical evening. But with a lot of women that I've met, there are far too many feelings on her part. As much as I tell them that it's a one-night thing, they get too attached. I can't be in a relationship. It won't work". 

"Is that so...In my day, men your age were ready for marriage. Meet a lovely, bright woman, form a relationship, get married, have children and settle down as they grow old together. Ah, kinda like me and the Missus, only we weren't lucky enough to have children. You're at that age of settling down, yet you have your whole life ahead of you. These days there's a lot more than just marrying the person you love. Even if you're not open to something as binding as marriage, maybe you should considering meeting your special someone. There has to be at least one woman who will love you for you, Gin-san". 

"A woman...huh...". Gintoki murmered those words incoherently, taking a sip of his beverage. 

It felt like a long time since he was with a woman; holding her, caressing her, kissing her, the indescribable sensations of being inside a woman... Right now, he had grown accustomed to someone else: a man; holding him, caressing him, kissing him, hugging him, cuddling with him, bathing with him, smiling with him, fighting with him, holding his hand, talking with him until the sun came up, and the incredible experience of being held by him, legs around his waist or vise versa during a moment of intimacy, affection, bliss and pure ecstacy. He felt stupid; having these thoughts moments after he stated that there were too many feelings with a woman. And, what, were there absolutely no feelings between Hijikata and Gintoki? Who the fuck is in an intimate, and sometimes emotional, relationship without feeling a damn thing about the other person? 

Thinking about that, he felt odd, like things were suddenly out of place, that his life had taken a 180° turn. Was that so bad? To be honest, no. It wasn't. But Gintoki couldn't lie; he was still attracted to women. His fetish for nurse uniforms and S and M play were still aimed towards women. But...This relationship that he had with Hijikata...He wondered how much meaning there was, how strong their feelings of "liking eachother" were at this point. He pondered the question, slurping several strands of noodles from between his chopsticks, his eyes looking spaced out, like a dead fish. His thoughts went back a few steps and he considered the concept of going out with anyone else. And, in all honest, he felt no interest towards that. Compared to his dates with Hijikata, dating someone else didn't sound as fun and meaningful. They were two people who originally hated eachother's guts, but now they look at eachother in a whole knew light. Something like that was a miracle of some kind; about how they suddenly got so close after five months. They were close... Maybe that's why Gintoki, deep down, felt crushed that Hijikata was going away for a while. He felt...crushed... He really did turn weird, huh... 

... 

Side-by-side, Gintoki walked back with Hijikata. Of course, at the end of the evening, they were heading for the apartment building with intent to end this night in a more intimate way. It would be their last for two weeks or so. Gintoki had not spoken much since they left. He stared down at the pavement that lay ahead of him with a dazed look in his eyes, a look that told Hijikata he was deep in thought. For that, it was normal to wonder if Gintoki was actually angry or even a tiny but upset about this sudden departure to Hokkaido. 

"Gintoki, are you alright there? I mean, you've been pretty quiet". 

"Huh? Oh, it's nothin'. I'm tired and I've had a little bit to drink, so...Uh, I'll feel a lot better when we're in the apartment". 

"...Me too".

"...Oi, Hijikata, before you and I started dating, what kinda history did you have with other women? A-and I'm not really asking about...you-know-who, just women in general". 

"To tell ya the truth, I don't have a lot to tell. When I was younger, maybe around eighteen or nineteen, I met women around the same age-this was in university, when I moved to Tokyo. I would get to know them more as friends and eventually I began being more intimate with a few women whom I was close to. We didn't date and it was absolutley nothing serious, better yet I regretted it because I still had feelings for someone. But...that's all in the past. All of it. Haa...so, I guess I don't have to ask about your history". 

"What's that supposed to mean?!" 

"Anyway, where did this come from? How come you wanna know?" 

"I was just thinkin' about it. Been a long time since I was with a woman, so much so that I forget what "that" down "there" looks like. Seriously, at this rate I'm only gonna be satisfied by having a dick shoved in my asshole, and vise versa". 

"Do you not know how to be subtle?! Haa, any-way, something like that won't happen. Surely a guy like you still enjoys a woman's company. I'd even say you miss it a little". 

"...Do you?" 

"...". Hijikata failed to respond, placing a cigarette between his lips and lighting it. At that, Gintoki swiftly dropped the subject entirely. 

Perhaps Hijikata didn't want to answer for personal reasons, or because this wasn't an appropriate topic seeing as they were dating eachother. What Hijikata said was conveyed in a mocking voice, although he was partially serious. When confronted with the question itself, Hijikata was left unsure and therefore remained silent. That was fine. If he didn't want to reply, it was fine. But Gintoki did feel awkward, leaving things in total silence. He didn't say a word...he grasped Hijikata's hand and hoped that he wouldn't pull his hand away. He didn't. Instead, he gripped Gintoki's chilled fingers and squeezed them affectionately. With his free hand, he was able to smoke. With his other hand in Gintoki's grasp, they were able to push away the topic of women and their history with them. Wasn't now more important? It always was... All they were going to think about for the next few hours until noon tomorrow was eachother, under the cover of darkness and a layer of bedsheets. 

... 

Fuzzy...The situation felt fuzzy, and heavy. With dim lighting, shining from the bedroom lamps, Gintoki and Hijikata held eachother in a deep kiss. They had threw their shirts to the floor outside of the bedroom while a little intoxicated from a couple servings of sake, as well as the impatience. Hijikata would take the lead tonight, although he was the one with his back to the bed before they lay down. Still standing, they explored with their hands; Hijikata's sliding down Gintoki's rear, his face flushed. Although it was a mutal agreement for Hijikata to be in total control the night, Gintoki was the first one to act in anticipation. He led Hijikata closer to the bed, still kissing and exploring with his hands; mostly through his hair and down his back. Sitting down on the bed, Hijikata was the one to be pushed onto his back. He held onto Gintoki, grabbing his behind gently. 

"Hahh! Ah...O-oi, don't do that...It feels weird...H-uu!". 

Hijikata squeezed Gintoki again. The reactions coming from Gintoki were strange, considering that his ass was covered by a pair of boxers and pants. So he was quite sensitive there...Interesting. 

"What the hell are you getting so flustered for? Didn't you do this to me?" 

"O-once! Don't punish me with the same action, basta-ah! Haa...C-cut it out!" 

"Why...?" 

"If you don't, I'll seriously get you back! I'll curse you and turn your dick inside-out you bastard". 

"Yeah, yeah. Sure...Whatever, Gintoki". 

Lacing his fingers through Gintoki's hair, Hijikata shut him up with a kiss. Using his strength, he rolled them over and changed positions; leaving Gintoki on his back as he was kissed and fondled as Hijikata saw fit. 

"Nnh! H-hey, you-mmph...". Hijikata dipped down swiftly and captured Gintoki's lips back into a kiss. His eyes remained open, averted away as Hijikata took the lead. Closing his eyes, Gintoki parted his lips with a short gasp right before colliding his tongue with Hijikata's, meeting at the lips once more. 

Exciting...It was exciting, yet Gintoki didn't feel as hot and bothered as he thought he would be. By now, he would be up and ready for anything. However the weariness under his eyes and the exhaustion in his body held him back like weights, dragging him further and further away from getting aroused by Hijikata's initiative and skill. 

("Eh...W-wait a minute..."). Gintoki thought, hesitating despite already spreading his legs out. ("Wait a minute...Why am I not..."). Hijikata reached both his hands down, over Gintoki's hips in order to loosen his belt and pull off his pants. ("Why...Why now...This is...This isn't right...Eh? Shouldn't I be...by now...?") His body grew tired. He was sleepy, unable to move. Hijikata registered this fact after reaching down once more to cup between Gintoki's legs. 

"...? Eh...Gin-...Gintoki, you're...Hey, are you feeling alright? Aren't you a bit...soft, tonight?" 

"What the hell do you mean "soft"?! L-look, it's nothing, alright? I'm...I'm just tired and a little tipsy, that's all. Come on, you'll be away for so long so you might as well give me a weeks worth, at the very least". 

"That's way too much! Gintoki, if you're not up for it, we can go to sleep and-". 

"Hell no! We haven't done it in a few days, and if you leave without giving me all you've got, then we'll both have to wait longer! Gimme a break...". 

"You probably are just tired. I'm tired, too, so there's no need to push yourself". 

"Don't talk to me like I'm an old man! Shit...". Gintoki raised up the hem of his boxers, staring into the shrouded abyss. "Uhh, G-Gintoki Jr. Come on~, time to get up~". 

"Are you seriously talking to your dick?! Do you think that'll get you hard?!" 

"You got any better ideas?!" 

"I do, actually! We shouldn't force ourselves when we're already devoid of energy. It's alright, so let's just call it a night". 

"Eh? W-wait a-...Wait, Hijikata...I can still do it. Just...gimme a minute or so...". Gintoki was grabbing Hijikata's shirt, holding it tightly. "Look, we've only just started so let's keep going. Come on...". 

Gintoki was on the verge of falling asleep, but he was persistent to continue. Hijikata was reluctant, seeing him in such a state. Perhaps Gintoki thought that he could wake himself up if they continued on, but by this point that seemed unlikely. But if Gintoki was going to insist... Hijikata sighed, getting right back into a kiss. Their actions felt forced and unnecessary as the most important thing they could be doing was sleeping. They didn't have enough stamina for this after working the whole day. Reaching into Gintoki's boxers, the lack of excitement and arousal was very clear. He was too tired to continue. 

"Gintoki, nothing's happening. Hm? Gintoki? Oi, Gintoki". 

Gintoki's eyes were closed and he was breathing softly; he was alseep. Hijikata retracted his hand, shaking Gintoki gently in order to wake him up. A groan was provoked from Gintoki before he opened his eyes, rubbing them to try and rid himself of this annoying weariness. 

"Shit...". He mumbled, struggling to keep his eyes open. Time to give up...Hijikata stood up from the bed with a heavy sigh. "O-oi, Hijikata, come on. I-it's fine. We can still-". 

"No way. Go take a bath in the other bathroom and I'll let ya borrow some loose clothing for tonight, okay? We need to get to sleep". 

"Are you seriously gonna walk away from this just because my "son" won't get up off his lazy ass?! If we don't do this, I'm gonna be seriously sexually frustrated for the next two weeks! Hijikata...!" 

Hijikata was ignoring Gintoki, sporting a serious expression as he headed for the bathroom. Gintoki sat up, his mind a blank, his motivation in shambles. 

"Hi-...Hijikata...". There was no way...After waiting for quite some time of deprivity..."No way...". He had to live in abstinence for another couple weeks. "No way...Hiji-...Hijikataaaaa....". Those whines echoed into the night, unheard and unanswered. If Hijikata thought he was being considerate; he wasn't, in Gintoki's mind. He was missing out on sex the night before he had to be gone for longer than usual. They couldn't even meet face-to-face unless Gintoki selfishly went up there to disrupt Hijikata's work. "This sucks...". He muttered, totally and utterly defeated. The exhaustion only made matters worse. He yawned, rubbing his eyes once again. "Damn it...". This really did suck... 

... 

They slept well, better than expected after being so exhausted the night before. Gintoki lay awake in Hijikata's arms with a displeased face, unbeknown to Hijikata who was still in a deep slumber. He was supposed to leave for the train station at noon; giving him four hours to get ready. Only in the morning light did Gintoki noticed the packed bag in the corner of the bedroom. He averted his eyes, burying his face in Hijikata's chest to shy away from the sunlight that poured through the windows.

Warm breath ran through Gintoki's hair, a pair of lips softly kissing the top of his head. It seemed like Hijikata was waking up already, just when Gintoki got comfortable upon waking up himself. He unconsciously let out a sigh and his eyes wandered to Hijikata's face. Opening his eyes, Hijikata appeared a little unfocused and groggy. He wiped away the sleep from his eyes with the heel of his hand before holding Gintoki in a little closer. 

"...? Hijikata...?" 

"What time is it?" 

"Huh? It's only five minutes past eight". 

"...Ten more minutes". 

"Oi, I'm supposed to be the lazy one here. How come you're trying to lay about when you've got somewhere to be? Ah?" 

"Just...ten more minutes, like this. It's warm...". 

Gintoki gave up arguing with this man. For as long as Hijikata clung on, Gintoki was unable to move. Being as lazy as he was, a moment like this was golden and served him the opportunity to be held in a comfortaboe position for another ten minutes or so. He embraced the very opportunity while Hijikata was, for once, being a little more careless than usual. 

"Y'know, if you're not careful, you'll end up being a good-for-nothing bum like me". 

"Yeah right...As if anybody could stoop down to your level of uselessness". 

"...". 

"A few minutes like this won't kill me. So let's stay put for a little longer. Should be fine if neither of us falls aleep". 

"Idiot, don't make such an impossible request". 

A peaceful silence filled the room, and not a word was spoken. They both lay awake in eachothers arms. With every minute ticking, as shown on the nearby alarm clock, Gintoki longed more for time to slow down. It was strange, but he didn't want to get up yet. They had until noon to spend some time together, although between those hours Hijikata would be getting ready to leave for Hokkaido. For as long as they could, neither of them let go of eachother in this position. Secretly, neither of them wanted to. 

... 

Nearing noon already, with everything packed and ready, Hijikata stood in the hallway with Gintoki there to see him off, as well as Shinpachi and Kagura. It was a Sunday, after all. Hijikata draped his bag over his shoulder, giving a nod to the two kids who stood by Gintoki's door. 

"Well, I'm off. I'll be sure to call you when I arrive and I'll try to make contact whenever I'm free to do so". 

"Sure, sure. Don't get too distracted from work, though". 

"Oh, and if there's anything in my kitchen that looks like it'll expire within the next few weeks, you can have it. You have a spare key still, don't you?". 

"Of course I still have it. And, yeah, I'll empty your fridge while you're away". 

"Right...I'll, uh...Look, I'm still sorry about this. I know it's sudden but-". 

"Hey, Hijikata, I said you don't have to worry. Go do your job and work hard. Try not to work yourself into an early grave, though". 

"...I'll try. While I'm up there, I'll see about buying something sweet for you; like candy that you don't normally get in Tokyo". 

"Don't be stupid. If you have time to buy something for me, then you should get that case solved so you can come back sooner". 

Hijikata nodded briefly. "Sure...Well, I'll see you guys in a few weeks". 

"See ya, Mayora". Kagura waved good-bye, her other hand occupied to pick her nose. 

"See you when you get back, Hijikata-san. Have a safe trip". Of course, Shinpachi was a little more polite in his good-bye. 

Gintoki faced Hijikata, approuching him to give him the better good-bye. 

"I'll, uh...I'll call you, alright, Gintoki?" 

"Yeah, you call me so I don't interupt your work. I'll be waiting". 

Together, they inched closer and closer. Nervously, Gintoki cupped Hijikata's cheek and leaned in for a kiss. When their lips made contact, Shinpachi and Kagura averted their eyes awkwardly. Little did they know that it was only intended to be a soft kiss that wouldn't go any deeper that a brush of the lips. Although, Gintoki's heart was heavy, and he longed to go just a little deeper. Their lips parted a little, and they did delve deeper until Kagura caught them out. 

"Woah, woah, woah! Watch the tongue, ya weirdos. There are two kids here". 

Hijikata and Gintoki pulled away from eachother, shifting their gazes shyly away from the two kids who had to temporarily witness that. 

"Uh, I'm...I'm off, then. See you later". 

"Y-yeah, see ya. Work hard, Mr Policeman. Work's a lot more rewarding if you do your job properly". 

"Thanks. I'll call you when I arrive". 

Hijikata walked down the stairs, waving good-bye while receiving the same gesture. Gintoki stood back once he could no longer see Hijikata. He was really gone...Nothing to cry about, sure. After all, two weeks or so wasn't that long, right? He could wait to see him until then, right? 

... 

He thought so, at least. Kagura and Shinpachi were in the apartment, watching as Gintoki sat in front of the T.V-on the floor-with a bag of potato chips and the weather broadcast in front of him. He was gloomy, stinking up the apartment with his lack of motivation to get up and do his work. How long had it been since Hijikata left? Half-an-hour? 

"Gin-chan, shouldn't you be working on your novel right now?" 

"Kagura-chan's right. I mean, you're usually unmotivated to work, but not like this. It's just for a few weeks, and it's not like you won't ever be in contact with Hijikata-san". 

"Haa...I don't expect a couple of brats to understand how I feel. But I'd appreciate it if you left me be". 

Shinpachi and Kagura glanced at eachother, giving a single nod in affirmative. They both came to Gintoki's side with Kagura taking on the task of rubbing circles into Gintoki's back. 

"It's alright, Gin-chan. He'll be back before you know it, and you'll feel better. You can see him as soon as he comes back, right?" 

"Listen, Hijikata and I don't spend time together all the time. In fact, there are periods when we don't see eachother for about a week-and I'm fine with that, knowing I'll be able to see him when he's got time and when he's not totally exhausted from work. But seeing as he's further away, working his ass off, I can't help but feel down. Even so, I'm a grown man and I won't exactly be broken up about this, since he is coming back. But...The main reason why I have no motivation is...Well...last night...". 

"Yeah? What happened, Gin-san? Did you guys have a fight, or...". 

"Well, it's...Ahem, uh, Kagura-chan, cover your ears". 

"...?" With a puzzled look, Kagura covered her ears and allowed the boys to talk alone. 

"Shinpachi...The problem is that, last night...My Gintoki Jr. wouldn't wake up!!!" Gintoki cried out, grabbing his hair with his hands in anguish. 

"That's why you're so depressed?!" Shinpachi was flabbergasted, almost annoyed by Gintoki's ridiculous excuse to laze around the house instead of working. 

"No matter what, I was too tired to go through with it...So now I'm gonna be deprived and frustrated for the next two weeks...maybe longer...". 

"That doesn't give you an excuse to lounge around you idiot! Show some self-control!" 

"You don't understand, Shinpachi...One night stands are different. It's one night, you have a taste and feel satisfied the next morning, but when you have someone, where's there's more emotion and connection, you recognise every little feeling and you yearn for it...Being deprived of that for so long...". 

"Shut up!" Shinpachi grabbed Gintoki's by his shirt, glaring at him in anger at his babblings. "At least you have someone you lucky bastard...How do you think virgins feel?! We lounge around, watching television and eating snacks because we don't have anyone! Don't take a virgin's lifestyle lightly you asshole! Appreciate what you have, dammit!" 

"Woah, woah, Patsuan, I never thought you'd get so upset. Relax. If you're mad about it, fine. I'll get up, work and appreciate the fact that I have someone to at least cuddle with me when it's cold". 

"You piss me off! You really piss me off!" 

"Yet somehow I feel a lot better. Thanks, Patsuan". 

"Shin-chan, don't get so upset. Gin-chan has somebody, but they aren't in a serious relationship or anything. You're at an age where girls want a serious relationship right away, spouting things like "I love you" during the first week of dating. And when you have it, it'll surely be the best feeling to have as a teenager". 

"Shut it! I don't wanna hear that from you, Kagura-chan!" 

"She's right, Patsuan. One day you'll find someone and you'll be living in ignorant bliss. When it comes to me and Hijikata, there's nothing really to be envious about. We go on dates, mostly out for drinks, we have pretty meaningful, although more serious, conversations, we fight a lot and we sleep together. At your age, it is just a period of bliss where the words "I love you" are so fickle and easy to say. Neither kind of relationship is serious, but it's something and it's yours. I've never actually had a relationship with anyone except for Hijikata, and we're not a serious couple. Although...I suppose not having him around with be kinda dull". 

"Didn't you just say you'd miss the intimacy more than having him around?" Gintoki smirked at that, tousling Shinpachi's hair. 

"Don't take me so seriously, Patsuan. Stuff like that is important, but to tell the truth, not having him around will be a bit of a bore". 

"Are you only gonna feel bored?" 

"...". Gintoki didn't respond there, his smirk straightening out. He stood up, stretching his arms up. "Mng...Right. Enough talk. Since you guys hate seeing me so unmotivated, I'm gonna work my ass off the whole time that guy's gone. I won't be seeing him around, so I might as well compensate for all that time lost". 

"Gin-san...". 

Even if Gintoki said that they weren't in a serious relationship, it appeared to Shinpachi that it was more meaningful than he was letting on. Even if they were both guys, even if they were still adjusting to dating eachother, even if they still fought and even if they didn't say those fickle words, it sounded like Gintoki would miss having Hijikata around. It wasn't just a case of boredom, now was it? 

"He'll be fine". Kagura mumbled, reaching into the bag of potato chips and changing the T.V channel. "Don't worry about their relationship so much, Shinpachi. Neither of them will admit that they miss eachother". 

"Yeah, that's true". 

"But...I guess I'd like to think that they miss eachother, even a little. Whenever Papi left for long periods of time, Mami never got sad because she knew he was coming back. She missed him, but she wasn't sad about it. I think it's the same with those two, although they refrain from saying those fickle words like "I miss you" or whatever". 

"I see...Then I guess all of us can wait for Hijikata-san to come back. It shouldn't be too long". 

"Exactly...". 

"Oi, what're you two brats mumbling over there? I'm trying to write a novel here". 

"Ah, sorry, Gin-san". 

Everyone went quiet. As Gintoki worked, Shinpachi and Kagura watched the T.V. Although he wouldn't admit it, Gintoki couldn't wait to see Hijikata. He wasn't upset or angry at his sudden leave, just a little under the weather. But, as an adult, he knew he was coming back so there was no reason to worry. Although a few weeks without him around would be a little empty, Gintoki knew he could put up with it. Not like he'd beg Hijikata to drop everything and come back. Like hell he would, especially to that guy. This was only the first day, though. There was no telling how he would feel later on whether that ranged from sex deprivity to missing the little, insignificant things about Hijikata. He chose to be patient and be satsfied with a few phone calls over the next two weeks or so. 

... 

... 

About two days had already passed since Hijikata left for Hokkaido. Only two phonce calls were made since then; when Hijikata arrived at his hotel room and, well, right now. Sitting in front of his laptop, legs resting on the desk, sunlight pouring through the large window before him, Gintoki leaned back in his chair and relaxed with the phone in hand. 

"You know, instead of wasting your time calling me during the day you should be working, you tax thief. People don't pay you guys to call your sweethearts during work". 

["Who the hell's my sweetheart? Don't get full of yourself. Anyway, I haven't called you since I arrived here. I was busy the moment Sasaki called my cellphone, and that was the moment I reached my hotel room. He's been sending me texts ever since we exchanged numbers for work. He's busy at the moment, so I know we won't be interupted or anything. I just wanted to ask how things were on your end; I mean with those kids of yours, work..."]. 

"Everythings as it always is up here. I've never seen Okita-kun so happy". 

["I wasn't asking about Sougo...Honestly, I didn't wanna know"]. 

"Everything's good. Since you're not here, I've gotten quite a lot of work done. The book might even be finished by the time you come back". 

["Pff, yeah right. I wouldn't bet on it"]. 

"Oi, that's rude. I can work hard, it just takes a little boost for me to get motivated". 

["Mm...And, er, how...How are you? Aside from work and everything else..."]. 

Gintoki's expression straightened for a moment, but leaning back in his chair a little further, he managed a faint smile to lift his tone back to the usual cool and collected Gin-san. 

"Enough about me already. How's the investigation?" 

["Ah...It's...I-it's going smoothly so far. I mean, we've picked up a few leads and have a suspect, but we can't be certain yet. One of the first court sessions are in a few days, and my only responsibility is to catch the right guy. So, as you can probably imagine, it's pretty tense around here. This is a huge case, after all"]. 

"What makes it so huge, anyway? Was some big-wig murdered in his office or something?" 

["Kind of. A government official was murdered in his own home. We believe it might be the work of extremists, what with the evidence left. Can't believe they still lurk around Japan"]. 

"...Me neither. Do your best then, Mr Policeman. And don't call me during the day, while you're at work. If I was the reason you got distracted, that could be problematic for your job". 

["Tsk, I don't need to hear that from you especially; a guy that purposely distract himself from his job"]. 

"Again with all the ammunition being fired at me. I get hurt too, y'know". 

["By the sound of your voice, I'd say you're not that bothered by it"]. 

"Anyway...Call me during the night, whenever you're actually free. I won't expect anything, though". 

["I wouldn't. There's a good chance I'll be working a few all-nighters while I'm here"]. 

"Then try to take it easy. If you have no energy, get some rest whether you wanna call me or not. If you're too tired and distracted, you'll get nothing done. Ya hear?" 

["I hear you. Don't work too hard yourself. I know what you're like when you work without sleep; aggressive and whiny"]. 

"Hey, that's what you're like when you're drunk, y'know". 

["I do know and I hate that. It pisses me off"]. 

"Haha...". 

["..."] 

"I'll, uh...I guess we can talk later". 

["...Yeah. I'll try to get in contact with you soon"]. 

"I'm not gonna get my hopes up. See ya". 

["Talk to you later..."]. 

Gintoki hung up first of all after a brief pause. He moved out of his comfortable position to put the phone down before leaning back once more. Unconsciously, he used his legs to spin himself around in his chair. The leather creaked and squeaked against his back, his eyes staring up at the cieling in a daze. He froze after a few moments, leaning forward and rubbing the bridge of his nose with closed eyes. 

"Idiot...". He mumbled. He sighed, wanting to get out of this funk. He sat up straight, slapping his knees. "Fuck this...". He grumbled, standing up. "The hell am I getting all downhearted for? I need to get a grip...". 

Gintoki wandered over to the far end of the room, towards the kitchen to grab a snack or something to clear his head. If he recalled, there was a half-finished carton of Pocky stored in the fridge at the very back so no gluttonous China Girl could stuff her face with it. As he recalled, it was milk flavoured. It wasn't the usual, but it was still calcium, and was a sweet milk flavour that was enjoyable for kids and adults alike. Gintoki would say that, but he bought this treat for himself, and for himself alone. He kneeled before the fridgerator, reaching into the freezing storage, rustling through different food items before grabbing the desired item from the very back. Carefully, as not to send all the other items collapsing to the floor, he raised the Pocky carton from its hidden spot and retracted it from the fridge. 

"Success...!" He exclaimed, victorious. 

With his foot, he swiftly shut the door and opened up his snack. The wrapping foil was chilled, yet tore open easily. This was the other half, saved for times like these when he needed an energy boost. The first stick was the most satisfying to munch, the biscuit crumbling while the milk frosting melted in his mouth. He stood within the kitchen for a moment, munching his snack, savouring the sweet taste. In the midst of his blissful moment, it was only natural for Gintoki to be caught off guard as an unexpected situation arose out of nowhere within his own kitchen. He stood there with the intend to wander all the way back to his desk when one of the bottom cupboards rattled. Swiftly, he turned at the noise, staring at the lower cupboard with a surprisingly calm and collected expression. It was still, unmoving, like he had maybe imagined it. But, recognising such an unusual scene from an anime or movie, Gintoki stared longer as he expected the cupboard to rattle again. Well, Gin-san ol' boy...He was in for quite a shock. 

After only seconds of an unmoving cupboard, it suddenly burst open as something-no, someone-collpased out of it. Out of instinct and terror, Gintoki dropped the carton of Pocky on the ground, just as his jaw dropped and his eyes became wide. 

"Aaaah! Wh-wh-what the heeeeellll?!" He cried out, believing it to be a dead body or some appirition come to fuck with his head. But, no. Mere seconds after the sudden event, he gradually recognised bits and pieces of this person's appearance, especially when they raised their head. 

It was a woman whom he definitely recognised. Long, violet hair, glasses and a tendancy of stalking: Ayame Saratobi, Gintoki's number one fan. She raised her head from the floor, her eyes weary from a lack of sleep. That could only mean she had entered his apartment quite a while ago. No, wait, correction; this crazy bitch was trespassing! Trespassing! Her glasses had fallen from her face, lying on the floor a short distance away from her. Gintoki continued to stand there, staring in horror. She squinted her eyes, obviously unable to see the man she was stalking. But even in a blur, she would be able to recognise him from his obnoxious hair and his voice, at the very least. 

"Mn...Gin-san?" She murmered, rubbing her eyes. "Is...Is that you? Finally...". 

"Uwaaaaah! It's Ayame Wilkes! Ayame Wilkes has come to kidnap me!" Gintoki cried, stepping back from Sarutobi. He was prepared to run. "She's gonna take me awaaaaay! I don't care if you're my number one fan, ya cockadoodie bitch! Wait...Is anyone going to get that if they've never read anything by Stephen King? I'm an author and she's nuts, so it kinda works, but...". 

"Gin-san, you're so cruel! How could you compare me to such a cockadoodie character?" 

"You're using the damn mannerisms and everything!" 

"Ahh, where are my glasses? I won't be able to see your face, or anything else, without them...". Sarutobi searched the floor with her hands and without clear sight. 

"Idiot. You should be able to look into your soul before looking at what's in front of you, and yours is as black and murky as Sadaharu's dumps. Realise that much ya damn stalker". 

"Eh? Comparing me to dog shit now? You're so, so cruel, Gin-san! But that's what I love about you! Your cruel, spine-chilling words...Haa..I'm getting goosebumps~!" Sarutobi cradled herself, forgetting about her glasses and self-respect as her cheeks flushed red and her eyes glistened. 

"Shut up! That's creepy! Most women have dignity and self-respect, and there's brazen masochists like you. I may be a sadists, but I have standards. A woman should have some level of pride and self-respect while also knowing when to let loose and have fun. You reach a whole new level on that one". 

"Women will never go for you if you set your standards too high". 

"I think my standards are much fairer compared to yours! Your standards are on a whole new low!" 

"But that's just the thing, Gin-san". Sarutobi picked up her glasses and placed them in their rightful place. She stood up from the ground, smiling. "I don't need standards anymore, because the only man I like is you. It doesn't matter what bad habits you have or how lazy and useless you can be. I love all of those quirks because bad habits make us human beings. If women try to go for the perfect guy, they would be running around a maze, unable to find what they're looking for. Instead of trying to follow on path, there are many that you have to take into consideration. But me, I've already found the right path. No, I choose the left path and the left path only, no matter how many dead ends I reach, I fully intend to reach happiness". 

"The left? Always the left? Snake? Is that you Snake? Since when was this girl Solid Snake?" 

"For the longest time, I only found love for my work, and then you came along, Gin-san. You're the man I want, the man I need...You...You fufill all of my masochistic dreams~~!" 

"Oiii! When you put something like that at the end, it makes it seem like you wanna have a sex like of S and M play!" 

Gintoki sighed deeply. This woman was hopeless. Truely. For one, Gintoki didn't understand how she could be so persistent. Sure, he believed himself to be a handsome guy, otherwise no one would let him play the protaganist. In most cases of anime, there's always a handsome protaganist. Then are exceptions for the more hipster, "I'm not popular but I don't give a fuck" protaganists-which are like rare trading cards-and then there's harem protaganist; the most average of average characters who lack in both looks and personality yet they somehow get surrounded by the opposite sex. Something like that wouldn't work in real life, or in Gintama. Huh? Eh? We're straying off topic? Shit... 

Anyway, Gintoki could recognise that his personality matched her needs; seeing as he was a sadist and she was a masochist, however that was all. Other than that, plus his looks, he couldn't figure out her reasoning. 

"I really don't get you. And I'll tell ya right now that I'm not into persistent chicks. In life, it's always admirable to get up and try again but what you're doing is going a step too far. Go home". 

"Ah...Gin-san...I won't give up". 

"Give up". 

"I won't! No one has ever made my heart race like this before-nobody! I've never felt so alive just being by your side and talking to you, even if you do spout abuse and curse words my way. Putting my horrific behaviour aside...I really do-". 

"That's enough". Gintoki was firm with his words, crossing his arms. "Geez...Looks like I haven't got a choice here, although I know someone who's gonna be pissed with me. You might as well give up...Haah...I'm already going out with someone, alright?" 

"...! E-eh...?" 

"I said that I'm dating someone. Open your ears and listen. No matter how long you try to chase me, it's gonna be for nothing. One, I don't see you that way in the first place. And two, I'm going out with someone already".

"You...Th-that's fine...I...". 

"No, it isn't. By the look on your face, you're clearly bothered by it. There's no point beating around the bush with you, so I came out and said it. Now, do you mind leaving? I have work to do". 

"I still...I won't give up...I want to get through to you someday and...". 

"There's no point, I can already see how you feel but I can't return your feelings whether I was already dating someone or not. I can't be involved with someone like you...Sorry". 

"...". Sarutobi was quiet. 

From the pile that spilled out from within the cupboard, she picked up her high heels, her head lowered. Walking towards the door, she apologised for intruding although she was still determined, if only a little bit. Gintoki watched her go, and let out a deep sigh once she left. He didn't lie to her, but even now there was no way to explain right off the bat that he was going out with a guy, that they had some meaning to their relationship, that it was the first Gintoki had ever had. He didn't say those things to be cruel, for once. It was honesty. There was no way he could go out with someone like her, for personal reasons; a little more than he gave her. That was that, and he hoped she would give up by now. There was no use in babbling on about the same old shit if she was going to receive the same old empty response. It was better for her to realise that sooner and move on. If Gintoki gave her any more attention, he felt like... 

"Gah...I'm an idiot, aren't I?" He sunk into his desk chair, burying his face in his arms. He felt like it was... 

... 

During the day, a weekday to boot, Tsukuyo spent a little more time in the apartment since she worked during evenings. And once again Hinowa joined her within the confines of their home. Even while the air outside was chilled from autumn, it wouldn't hurt to get out every once in a while. That was on Tsukuyo's mind for most of the morning. Sitting down at the table with a freshly made pot of tea, Tsukuyo thought it was high time to bring this up now. 

"Say, Hinowa, why don't we go out somewhere? You and me?" 

"Oh? What brought this on?" 

"Nothing really. I thought that you were bored being stuck here all day, and the only time we're together is here. So why don't I treat you somewhere; like a nice restaurant? I've saved up quite a bit of money from work, so it should be fun". 

"I'd never thought I would ever see you this eager. Instead of wasting your time and money on me, why not spend a day with someone like, say...". 

"Don't...". 

"How about...". 

"Hinowa, I swear to god...". 

"Gin-san...?" Tsukuyo lowered her head with a sigh. She couldn't fight against this woman... "Act like that all you want, but don't think I haven't noticed. Ever since he walked you back to the apartment building, you've been sighing all day". 

"Wha-How did you-...?!" 

"The balcony. I saw you both from the balcony. I suppose even he can be a gentleman". 

"That's enough. I don't wanna hear it. One, I gave up my womanhood so, therefore, I'm merely an equal to him. And two, who the hell would go out with a slob like him?-Aside from Sa-chan!" 

Hinowa shrugged, humouring Tsukuyo's defensive outbursts. 

"Whatever you say, Tsukuyo. But things like love are hard to hide. Once you get close to it, you won't be able to hide it away for much longer because if there's a certain person whom you've fallen for, you'll want to express it to them with all your heart. But, fine, if you don't want to go out with Gin-san, that's fine. We can go somewhere, say, tomorrow? You aren't working then, right?" 

"Ah, no...I suppose I'll get a babysitter for Seita, or ask a friend, since we can't leave him by himself. And who the hell said anything about love?" 

Tsukuyo sipped her tea, averting her eyes away, her cheeks slightly red. Again, she wasn't going to think of Gintoki that way. She had enough. No matter what Hinowa said, she was no refusing to accept any sort of feelings beyond her friendship with Gintoki. That's as far as it would ever go: period. In her mind she rambled on about all of Gintoki's flwas and missed out all of the positives, as if convincing herself that he was scum and that there was no way she could even like a guy like Gintoki romantically. Her outward opinion was absolute. But what she felt deep down was a whole other story that she kept locked away, knowing that she gave up being a woman for the sake of protecting what was important to her; that being Hinowa and Seita. If she felt anything else, especially towards a man, she thought it would be like betraying herself. So, right now, her outward opinions of Gintoki stood. 

... 

In a familiar diner, quiet and not incredibly busy during this time, Hattori sat in the usual spot with a series of special pens and sheets for his upcoming manuscript lay across the table. He worked on them, having cut it close with his deadline. As he worked away, he only caught a glance of the woman staggering lifelessy towards his table; that woman clearly being Sarutobi. She looked more downhearted as usually, slumping into the diner booth where Hattori sat. She didn't say a word, but merely buried her head in her arms, sprawled across the table like someone on the bring of a slow but painless death. 

"Haa...What happened?" Hattori asked, putting down his pen and leaning back in his seat. "Was your work giving you a hard time again, or...?" 

"Do you think...I should give up?" 

"Eh...?" 

"Should I...give up on Gin-san?" 

"Woah, woah, woah...Where's this coming from all of a sudden? Aren't you the one who always rambles about him as if you've been accepted into the rapture or something?" 

"I don't think anyone cares anymore. I mean, it's been a while since I made an appearance, and nobody wants me with Gin-san anyway. Nobody...Do you know how many fanfics there are of me and him on this website alone? Twelve...There are only twelve...". 

"Oi, just because you're mopey about that guy rejecting you for the hundredth time, it doesn't give you the right to completely destroy the fourth wall. So what if nobody really ships you guys? If anything, I'd say you're a bit too forceful and that's why you don't get many people cheering you on". 

"Oh...Is that so...". 

"Sorry to be so blunt, but someone's gotta tell ya, Sarutobi-san". 

"...So you're saying I should give up, too...". 

"Haa, what's with you? The Sarutobi-san I know is a lot stronger than this and wouldn't falter over a guy. I don't really see what's so great about a guy like Gin-san, but for some reason you fell for him so easily and you started acting weird. I know you to be a lot more serious, calm and collected. So what is it about Gin-san that makes you go nuts?" 

Sarutobi raised her head, pushing up her glasses. She wondered. Thinking deeply about this, she wondered what it was she saw in Gintoki that made her heart race so much, putting the masochism aside. What was it about him that was so amazing and unique compared to other men? 

"I...It's a little hard to explain. Putting my weird behaviour aside, I think I really do love him. It's something about him that I'm so attached to that it hurts. He makes my heart race, and for a while I hated this feeling but I didn't hate him. Zenzou, I don't really know what to do anymore. Apparently he's...dating someone else, so I'm completely powerless to do anything". 

"Hah? That guy? Seriously? There's no way...What, do you think he lied to you?" 

"I don't know. It's selfish, but I hope so. Damn...Look at me, I'm so messed up because of one man. I feel stupid, since I know that I want Gin-san to be happy. So if he really is dating someone, and he didn't just lie to push me away, and he's happy...I don't think I have much choice but to step down, even if this feeling doesn't go away". 

"...I think...you should give up". 

"...". 

"Give up trying to be his lover. A guy like that wouldn't take on any woman unless she was someone really, really special and meaningful to him. That's what I think. If he is really going out with someone, though, you should definitely back away and allow him some room to find happiness, whatever that is to him. But, if he did lie, then it's a sign that clearly says you should get off his back. But I can't force you to feel a certain way about another person. If ya want my advice; quit being so forecful and outspoken and just be you, the confident, strong but collected Sarutobi that I know. Try to be friends first, moron. Some guys prefer that route, since then they know what they're getting themselves into beforehand, and you'll know as well". 

"Zenzou...". Hattori checked his watched, cursing quietly as he packed up his stuff. 

"Ah, crap...Sorry, Sarutobi-san. I've gotta go to work, but think about what I said, alright? I'm off, before my editor has a shit-fit. See ya, and good luck". 

Sarutobi watched Zenzou walk out the door, limping slightly from the hemroids that invaded his ass. She ignored it, and allowed his words to repeat in her mind. He was a good friend; truely. Her best friend, ever since childhood, the voice of reason in their adulthood. Funny. As Sarutobi recalled, she was always the one trying to keep him out of trouble. She sighed, leaning back in her seat. Friends, huh? She hadn't thought about it in her eagerness to be "tied up" and "punished" by Gintoki. If they were friends first, she could probably relax and find out what kind of person he was dating, if that was the truth. But how would she go about that? What would she say to him? Could she tone down her eagerness to hold him and be as close to him as possible? All she knew right now was that she would certainly try... 

... 

...

A sigh broke the silence of the empty apartment, and the squeak of Gintoki's desk chair was the most disrupting sound to occur in the last hour or so as Gintoki comfortably sat back. He had finished the next chapter of the novel, hoping Otose would approve of it without many arguments. Everything fit into place so far. He saved his work and turned off his laptop for now, having no energy to print it out just yet. A heavy yawn made its way from his chest, finally escaping after a few short seconds. Naturally his hack felt stiff and the tears brimming from his eyes-soley to do with his yawning-were wiped away. With a single glance, Gintoki was caught up in staring at the phone on the desk. That's right, Hijikata hadn't called. By this time, Gintoki wouldn't have been surprised if he went to bed already. He was probably tired, desperate to go to sleep in a hotel bed. Or perhaps he was still working. To think about that, Gintoki was growing a little concerned. If that guy collapsed during work due to sleep deprivity then it would only take longer for him to come home and return to his comfort zone. He sat back, listening to absolutely nothing, not budging an inch as though he would fall asleep in his chair. He evenclosed his eyes, listening to absolutely nothi- 

"...!". He openedhis eyes, his heart jumping as the phone suddenly rang. He jolted up from his comfortable position, quickly answering it. "Uh, hello?" 

["Hey, Gintoki"]. Gintoki relaxed, although this was unexpected. 

"Oh, hey, Tsukuyo...". 

["What's with that? Were you expecting somebody else?"] 

"Haa, no, not really. What's up?" He got back into an aloof mood, leaning back in his chair once more. 

["I have a bit of a favour to ask. I know this is pretty sudden, but you're the only person I can ask right now"]. 

"O-kay. What is it?" 

["Hinowa and I decided to go out tomorrow, get her outta the house and...get me out of work for a while. If it's alright, could you please look after Seita tomorrow night? I'll drop him off at your place and everything, and it won't be for too long. Nobody else is available, so..."]. 

"Alright, you got it". He didn't hesitate. 

["Huh? Really?"] 

"Yes, really. He's a good kid, and I understand your need to go out and get some fresh air once in a while. I'll take care of him while your gone, but you owe me". 

["Mm...Sure, fine. I guess I owe you for this. Thanks"]. 

"No problem. See ya". 

["A-ah, hold on a second!"] Tsukuyo called out to his as Gintoki was ready to put down the phone, but he paused and returned the receiver to his ear. 

"Yeah? What is it?" 

["I, er...I never did thank you for escorting me home, even if I didn't need you to"]. 

"It's been a couple days and you're still thinking about that? Man, if you don't get your head outta the past you might as well have it in the clouds. At least then you're looking up and straight ahead instead of over your shoulder". 

["Shut it. Hinowa brought it up since she saw you walking me back, and I realised I didn't thank you"]. 

"You still haven't. Spit it out already before we die of old age". 

["I'm getting to that, ya smug bastard! Haa...Thank you, Gintoki. And thank you for this. It's very kind"]. 

"Don't mention it. The least you can do is treat me to a buffet at a cheap, but good restaurant". 

["I'll consider it..."]. 

"...So, is that all? Or did ya have something else to say?" 

["Ah...N-no, nothing. Sorry to bother you. I guess I'll...see you tomorrow"]. 

"Yeah. See ya".

Gintoki finally set the phone down and hung up, leaning back in his chair once more. Out of everyone to call him during this time of night, it had to be anyone but Hijikata. How busy was that guy? Gintoki got easily annoyed with himself moreso Hijikata because he got so impatient over a phone call. When thinking about it that way, he felt more idiotic than annoyed. Rubbing the sleep from his eyes, Gintoki thought that he was simply tired and wasn't thinking straight. Such farfetched thoughts could only come from a man who didn't want to admit that he waited impatiently for Hijikata's phone call, that he felt disappointed by the end of the night. Even when knowing that himself, he stubbornly clung onto his pride and headed for the bathroom. He needed a bath and a good night's sleep. 

Sitting in the bath, Gintoki forced his thoughts to go blank for the sake of it. He went to bed, intent on going to sleep as soon as possible. The bed was a lot bigger somehow, the empty space on the other side seemingly wider than usual. Cursing quietly to himself, Gintoki turned on his other side; facing away from that empty space. Although annoyed, he closed his eyes and allowed the darkness of sleep and his dreams consume him before morning. 

... 

(This dream...Gintoki was face with a ceiling and a familiar face, a familiar scene during summer. A soft pillow was under Gintoki's head-...No, wait. Not a pillow, but a pair of really soft thighs. Hijikata's thighs...) 

("Man...Hijikata-kun~, your thighs are so awesome, way softer than I expected. Since its you I woulda thought they would be hard and uncomfortable"). 

("I didn't give you permission to lie on my lap in the first place. Get up"). 

("That's not nice. I'm the only one that gets to do this, so why waste the opportunity. Haah~, I could fall asleep here~"). 

("Don't you dare. I don't wanna be stuck here all day while you crush my legs with your head"). 

("You're so mean...No wonder you don't have a girlfriend"). 

("Why the hell would I want something like that?") 

("So you could have a pair of thighs to lie on"). 

("I'd never force a woman to act as my pillow. Only you would think of that"). 

("On the contrary, I haven't done this before. I've always wanted to, but this is the first time I've ever rested on a nice pair of thighs. Plus, I get to look up at a handsome face. I'm almost jealous"). 

("You're the worst..."). 

("But do you wanna know what the best part is? I can talk as I normally do in front of you. Being here like this, it's comfortable and a lot more relaxing than with a woman, since it's you, Hijikata"). 

(Hijikata was caught off guard by those words, almost speechless. With flushed cheeks, he averted his eyes. Gintoki watched the scene as if he was sitting right across from them, in front his apartment, in front of Hijikata and himself a month or so before these recent events about Hokkaido and Hijikata's leaving for roughly two weeks. The image grew vaguem fading into white as Gintoki could feel himself returning to the waking world. The voices began to echo as he made his journey back). 

("So can I fall asleep here?") 

("I already told you: no"). 

("Even after I said all that stuff? So rude...The least you coulda done was pet my hair, then I would be happy"). 

("Why the hell would I pet your hair?!") 

... 

The dim light of morning peered through the cracks of the curtains. Slowly, Gintoki's eyes opened. He sighed deeply, covering his face with his hands, rubbing the sleep away from his eyes. He wondered why such a random moment popped up in a dream, and why it involed Hijikata of all people. That wasn't even a latent dream, absolutely nothing was hidden or concealed there. It was a memory more than a dream. Gintokilet his arms fall to his sides and, for a moment or two, he stared up at the blank ceiling in his groggy state. 

"What the hell is wrong with me...?" He mumbled under his breath. 

... 

The usual routine of Sarutobi's morning continued, not a cloud in the sky as she headed to her local coffee shop for a coffee to go and a muffin for later. Little did she know that her usual coffee place was closed for renovations. She breifly stood in front of the door, annoyed and tired, especially after what happened the other day. For the whole evening, before bed, she considered the very idea of developing a friendship with Gintoki first over being lovers. Being his girlfriend was a dream yet to come true, but Zenzou's advice meant that she would be travelling at a snail pace in order to try and win his attention, at the very least. If he really was dating someone, though, and he was honestly happy, then she was putting herself in the same maze as those women; the one's who try to find the perfect guy who doesn't fart or shit in their eyes. 

It's normal to ignore those things, but Gintoki would always say you have to accept the dirtiest things about someone in order to love them. And she did. She accepted everything about Gintoki; including the fact that he could shit and produce body odore. He wasn't a normal, fake, unscathed shounen protaganist, after all. He was a man, a human being. She accepted that, and wondered if this woman whom he was dating recognised all the dirty things about him-including his sadism and perversion and occassional peeping. Ah...Sarutobi was getting too worked up about this, making herself stressed. Her thoughts raced on as she tried to find a different coffee shop. She needed something to wake her up, after all. Her job as a journalist required alertness for the majority of the day, and it was a pain to slack off writing articles in the office. So, in her state, she made the effort to head to the next coffee place a litte ways from her own. Sarutobi had never stepped inside before, let alone order a coffee. But she had passed it several times during the afternoon. 

aShe entered the small coffee place, obviously trying to avoid the other people whom she was not familiar with. The atmosphere felt strange, almost heavy as she walked across a different floor in a different room with a different teller behind the counter, wearing a different uniform. Still, Sarutobi stood tall, looking around the place as she casually shifted a few strands of hair behind her ear. 

"Good morning, and welcome. How may I help you?" 

"Ah, I'd like a coffee to go, please. And, er...Do you sell any almond-based muffins?" 

"Yes, we do, actually". 

"Great, thanks". 

Sarutobi stepped back from the counter to allow other people to be served. As she did, she found herself accidentally bumping into the other queue. 

"Oof! Ah, s-sorry". She turned around, ready to bow apologetically. When she did, she heard the person's voice. 

"Watch where you're-...Eh? O-oi, what are you...Are you stalking me here too?!" Sarutobi raised her head abruptly, her eyes growing wide. 

"Gi-...Gin-san?!" Shit, of course! His apartment building was close by! But, wait...Sarutobimrelaxed a little, her eyes glimmering with hope. This was...fate! 

"Sheesh, I thought I already told you; I'm already going out with someone". 

"N-no, I know, Gin-san! But...I have to talk to you about something-". 

"Sir, you're holding up the line. Can you please order or stand aside?" 

"Hold yer freakin' horses! You think these people are the only ones who've got work to go to?! Ah?! I have work, too, y'know! It isn't my fault if my stalker shows up in the same place! Call the police, dammit!" 

"Sir, I will call them if you don't do everyone a favour and shut up. You're disturbing the other customers". Even as the teller said those words, she smiled innocently. 

"Tch, fine. Can I get a coffee milk and, er...that strawberry cake there?" Gintoki pointed to a cake in the display case, tapping his finger against the glass. 

"Thank you, now please step aside". 

Gintoki did as the teller asked, crossing his arms with a clear expression of irritation on his face. 

"So, you wanted to say something?" His expression relaxed as he looked at Sarutobi. That must of signified that he was more annoyed with the teller rather than Sarutobi. 

"Y-yeah. I did a lot of thinking and I-". 

"Sir, one coffee milk and strawberry cake. That'll be four-hundred and thirty yen please". Gintoki paid swiftly after diffing around his back pocket. "Please visit us again". 

Gintoki took his order; one carton of coffee milk and a paper bag for his cake. He muttered a thanks before moving further away from the growing queue. 

"Ah, Gin-san...!" 

"Here's your coffee to go and almond muffin, Ma'am. That'll be five-hundred and twenty yen". 

"Ah, shoot...". Sarutobi reached around her purse digging around before grabbing six-hundred yen. "Keep the change!" 

"Ehhh? Ma'am, we don't accept tips! Ma'am?! Haa...". Sarutobi bolted out of the coffee place to try and catch up to Gintoki, wherever we went. But as she left the store she was blinded by the sunlight in her rush to get outside, and once again bumped into someone else. Her glasses fell off and she dropped her order, too, as she fell back, landing on her rear end. 

"Ack! Owowowow...". 

"Are you a complete scatter-brain? Think you're in some kinda visual novel or anime? Might as well run out here with that muffin in your mouth, moron". 

"E-excuse me...Ack, my glasses...I have to catch up to-...Uh...eh?" 

Sarutobi was reaching for her glasses, her vision blurred and unclear. The sunlight of the morning didn't help at all. But as she reached for her red-rimmed glasses that stood out among a grey pavement, they were picked up from the ground. Raising her head, a blurry figure appeared to be wiping the glasses with their sleeve before passing them to her kindly. 

"Ah, th-thanks, but I have to-...!" Placing them back on her face, she finally saw the person who assisted her. "...G-Gin...-san...". 

He stood tall, staring down at her with a straight face. There was no contempt or irritation in those eyes. 

"Honestly...Since when were you such a scatter-brain? The way Hattori talked about you, he said you were a lot more composed and that you could take care of yourself. Guess I have no choice...No matter how tough you really are, you've gotta reach out a hand to someone when they fall, right?" 

At that, Gintoki did reach out his hand. This wasn't his usual attitude. Before he would curse at her, maybe even kick or smack some sense into her. But right now he was much more gentlemanly and kind. Although nervous and a little dazed, Sarutobi took his hand and was pulled up to her feet. She couldn't look him in the eyes, knowing that her chest would tighten and her legs would turn to jelly in not time flat. 

"Um...Th-thank you, Gin-san. B-but I thought you walked off". 

"Hm? Why would I do that? You wanted to talk to me, right? I was just getting out of that crowded place with my order, and I was gonna wait outside for you". 

"Huh? Aah...Say something sooner next time". 

"No way. It's a hassle, especially with so many people jabbing me in the side with their big, fat elbows. It's never that crowded...". 

"I guess it's because the coffee place in my street was closed for renovations". 

"That explains it. Hm? Is that your order on the ground?" 

"Ah...". Sarutobi swiftly turned around, seeing her coffee had spilled, but the muffin remained safe within the bag. That was the only thing she could pick up without putting it into a nearby trash can. It didn't matter. She was pretty alert after seeing Gintoki. 

"You coming? I have to hand in a manuscript at work, so you can come and tell me what's on your mind while we walk". 

"Really? You'll listen, even after...". 

"If you're trying to confess your "undying love" to me through less annoying means, forget about it. I told you, I'm already-". 

"It's nothing like that...Honest". 

"...Then let's go. I already told Granny I would be there in an hour, at the most. If I'm late handing in the manuscript, she'll definitely kill me. Try to keep up". 

"...Yes!" 

Sarutobi walked by Gintoki's side. He occupied himself by piercing his coffee milk carton with the provided straw, attempting to hold the paper bag under his arm without crushing his cake. He managed, although there was no doubt that his dessert for later was slightly crushed under the pressure. After all, his muscles were quite- 

("Nonononono! Stop it Sa-chan! You can't think of him like that anymore! At least until you've become friends...Just like Zenzou said"). 

Sarutobi's eyes wandered to Gintoki's face. He looked on straight ahead, straw between his lips, eyes like a dead fish. They really were; like he didn't have a since care in the world. Due to the cold, he was wearing more layers than usual; a coat, a red scarf, the usual. Sarutobi recalled such details from winter that year, in January. To her it definitely wasn't stalking, but simply observing. Yes, observing him. She assumed that she would have to cut down on her "observations" if they were to become friends. Yes...Ah, at least she intended to become friends. She was yet to say anything. Gintoki, after taking a big sip of his drink, he retracted the straw with a heavy sigh. 

"Man...A lot of people take the taste of coffee milk for granted. Sure, they know it really hits the spot after a hot bath, but it's alright to have it on occassion, no matter what time of day. The exact same goes for strawberry milk". 

"Is that so? You have very unique tastes, Gin-san". 

"Of course I do, otherwise I'd be the protaganist of a harem. The only tastes they have are boobs and panties. Don't a lot of people like those things? What about personality, you sexist bastard?" 

"Uh...I never expected you to have such a strong opinion". 

"Well, in actual fact, some of these things are based on the author's own opinion. For example, they're not a huge fan of the harem genre because a lot of the characters can do better than such a boring and pervy protaganist. Where's the respect for the female characters? It's not just about impossible jiggle physics and "accidentally" tripping up and grabbing the first pair of boobs in front of you". 

"Well, obviously the author would feel strongly about that...It's an over-used trope" 

"Exactly. See, even the author is putting words in your mouth, even though you're a masochist who enjoys all the abuse I give you. What happened to your character all of a sudden?" 

"Ah-...Gin-san!" 

"Hm...?" 

"Um...Putting all my previous behaviour aside, I want to be serious here. I'm more of a comic relief character, spouting obscene things to shock the audience. But! I can clearly see it only pushes you further and further away from me. So...Since you are dating someone else, and as long as you're very happy, I...I wouldn't mind if...Cou-could we, um...Could we try to be friends?" 

Gintoki stared. As they walked, he stared and slowed down his pace until they both stopped. Gintoki let a sigh escape as he averted his eyes away from Sarutobi. 

"You're pretty dumb, ya know that? It's too late for you to say that". 

"Huh? But I-". 

"I already thought of you as a friend in the first place, dumbass. We're friends, so now we can start acting like it without getting the police involved for your relentless stalking". 

"Gin-san...". 

A bright smile appeared on Sarutobi's face, a glimmer of hope shining in her eyes. She refrained from clinging to him, accepting their relationship as it was for now. A friendship...Gintoki had thought of her as a friend for a while it seemed, no matter how repetitive and insistent she was on becoming his lover, including puff-puff action and BDSM play. It was still in her mind; this desire to be his and his alone. But Sarutobi wanted to put that aside, so that he could get to know her more collected and capable self. She wanted to get through to him that way. It was only human for her to hope he would change his mind about this other girl, since they seemed to be dating and nothing more. He didn't mention that it was serious or anything. 

"I'm gonna go this way. I suppose we can talk normally now, huh, Sarutobi-san?" 

"Yeah...Yeah, Gin-san". 

"Good. See ya...". 

Gintoki crossed the street when the traffic was stopped at the lights. Sarutobi saw him off, standing there with a faint smile. If it was like this at first, she hoped it could go a little further eventually. Further and further until he acknowledged her as a better person. This was going at a snail pace, but if it was for her dream relationship with Gintoki she was determined to do whatever it took. 

... 

... 

Another evening, another deadline set, another carton of coffee milk to ease the stress on his brain. Gintoki took a break from work, sprawled out on the sofa with an old volume of Jump hiding his face. He was awake, but tired and a little tense. The sofa creaked by hs feet, another presence joining him after a day at school. 

"Has the Mayora not called yet?" The T.V was switched on, and a snack was beng devoured by this glutton. Kagura sat back, eyes focused on the television. 

"Nope...He hasn't". 

"Honestly...How busy can he be? He's supposed to be going out with you, not his job. Why don't you call him, then?" 

"I can't do that. He's working hard right now, and he probably doesn't need any disruptions. That's why we mutally agreed that he would call me. Not like I have a busy schedual like the governement dog, working even sleepless nights for his masters". 

"You shouldn't say stuff like that, Gin-chan. Just admit that you miss him already and cry in the bathroom, like normal people do". 

"As if!" Gintoki sat up abruptly, throwing down the volume of Jump, giving Kagura a death stare as a defense mechanism. "Don't spout crap like that to an adult, brat! You think I'm still a teen?! Adults don't cry over shit like this. We drink and gamble to forget our problems!" 

"That's even more pathetic". 

"It's only been a few days, and I know for a fact he's busy. He'll call me when he has time, alright?" 

"He'd better. If he really does like you, he should contact you and reassure you that he still does". 

"Kagura, how many times do I have to say it. We're too old to be spouting crap like tha-...?" 

Before Gintoki finished, someone knocked on the door. That was probably Tsukuyo, come to drop off Seita. Gintoki got up to answer it, stretching his arms up and yawning. Openng the door, his expectations were correct. 

"Hey...". Tsukuyo greeted, a straight expression on her face. 

"Hey...". Gintoki also greeted while also having a straight face. 

"Hey, Big Bro". Seita was a little more cheerful, stepping inside and receiving a smile back from his "big bro". 

"Hey, kiddo. Come in, make yourself at home". Seita entered, taking off his shoes before he was greeted by Kagura. 

Gintoki took a moment to look over Tsukuyo. She was all dressed up, for once. Since when did she wear skirts? 

"Oi, what're ya staring at?" 

"Your clothes. They're nice, suits you". Tsukuyo was surprised that he didn't try and avoid the question. Her cheeks turned red, and her gaze shifted away from his. 

"Er, th-thanks, I guess. I'm just gonna pick Hinowa up and then we'll head out. I'm grateful that you decided to take care of Seita while we're gone". 

"Like I said, it's no worries. He's a fun kid to be around". 

"That's good to hear. I'll be back later tonight to pick him up. Take care of him. I'll see ya later, Seita!" Tsukuyo peered behind Gintoki, saying good-bye to Seita. Already he made himself comfortable on the sofa as Kagura set up a video game. 

"Ah, see ya, Tsukki! Have fun with Mom!" 

"See ya, Gintoki". 

Gintoki saw her off as she headed for the elevator. He shut the door once she was inside, and approuched the two kids as they prepared to play already. 

"Oi, Seita, havd you eaten yet?" 

"Ah, well, not yet. I kinda wanted to try your cooking, Big Bro". 

"Really? Alright, then. Looks like I don't have much of a choice. You kids sit tight. Gin-san will cook up something good, since we have plenty of ingredients". 

"Do you want any help, Big Bro?" 

"Of course not. You just sit your ass down and let me handle it. Enjoy your childhood while it's right in front of you, kiddo, whether it's playing made-up games outside or Nintendo". 

... 

It had been a while since Gintoki had hung out with Seita like this. Sure, he was a kid and he was a fully grown adult who had to spend time with other adults. But Seita was mature, but knew exactly how to be a kid despite his past. He had his whole life ahead of him, and his childhood was within reach. No, he had already grasped it. With empty plates and bowls stacked up in the kitchen sink, Gintoki took his turn playing video games with Seita and Kagura. He wanted to have a break from work after writing non-stop for the past few days. He sat back, feet up on the coffee table as he mashed buttons. Playing against Seita was a lot less stressful and energetic than it was with Kagura. That girl was far too intense during gaming.

"Hey, Big Bro, are you going out anywhere with Tsukki?" 

"Ah? Where's this coming from?" 

"She mentioned something about owing you for taking care of me today, since her and Mom need a night out once in a while. Tsukki doesn't like to be in anyone's debt, after all". 

"That woman...I wasn't being serious when I said she had to treat me. Now she's gonna make a big fuss over the babysitter. Why doesn't she just pay me a thousand yen and we'll call it even? That's what babysitters get paid these days right?" 

"That's really cheap, Gin-chan. Only you would pay such a small fee". Kagura grumbled, effortlessly tapping buttons on her controller. 

"Anyway, I think you should go someplace with her. I know Tsukki doesn't just think of you as a babysitter for me. She'd only find herself indebpted to someone she cared about, she would only make a fuss over that person and nobody else, if ya catch my drift, Big Bro". Seita nudged Gintoki's arm with his elbow, winking and grinning. 

"...". Gintoki remained silent, putting on a smile before he tousled Seita's hair. "Listen, Seita, you should be looking out for your own interests first before you start supporting other people's, unless it's absolutely necessary. I think you're jumping to conclusions about Tsukuyo and me". 

"But still...A-and what do you mean by "my own interests"?!" 

"What? Kids can't have crushes these days?" 

"N-no way! I mean, I don't have a crush on anybody!" 

"Riiight". 

"I don't!" 

This kid seriously supported their relationship, and wanted it to go further than what it was. It was sad to watch such a bright kid like Seita in ignorant bliss, not knowing that Gintoki was already going out with someone-and it was a guy to boot. That always seemed to be the main issue with telling people. But Gintoki had a strange feeling that it would come to that in time. But if Seita was going to know there was a chance that Tsukuyo had to find out first. A few people had found out over these past few months, and Gintoki trusted them greatly. He had a hunch about Tsukuyo's feelings, and a part of him didn't want to believe it. The signs were there, they were just vaguely written out. Unless she came to terms with her feelings--whatever the hell they were--Gintoki couldn't reject her properly. Unless he avoided that and told her out of trust and friendship, as he told people like Kagura, Shinpachi and Katsura. Although the first two found out in a rotten way, they were told the whole story soon enough and came to accept it. In the kind of relationship Gintoki had with Hijikata there was always this sense of uncertainty, not knowing how people will react and treat the situation. So...How would Tsukuyo react? 

Tsukuyo was a good friend, strong in will too. Would telling her hurt her? Would she be fine with it, despite the possibility that she liked Gintoki? He felt like an idiot for dwelling on it. He needed a sollution here. But there weren't many options. Eventually, he had to tell her. He had to tell Tsukuyo, and also Sarutobi, the truth. If he didn't, things would drag on longer and they would each find out in a way that would hurt them more. It was inevitable unless he built up the resolve to tell them properly. This was Gintoki, so building up some determination was no big deal. Once it was over, it was over. He could continue on, hoping that they would accept it. If not...Well, there were many doubts that they wouldn't accept the relationship. But suppose they didn't accept it for some reason... 

("...This sucks"). He thought to himself... 

... 

During some point, Seita had fallen alseep on the sofa along with Kagura as they played video games. It wasn't even that late yet. Gintoki turned off the console and television, draping a blanket over them as they slept quietly. Tsukuyo would arrive to pick Seita up soon, meaning he would have to be disturbed. Gintoki stretched his arms up. He would have to wait until then, and he would also have to put Kagura to bed. What a royal pain, especially since he was already so tired from working. How many times had he carried that girl to her bed after she fell asleep on the couch, or on the floor, or at her desk? Time to play the waiting game for now. Scratching the back of his head, Gintoki took a few steps away from the two kids who decided to take up the whole cough to sleep. But without walking an incredible distance, he flinched when the phone on the desk began to ring. To keep those brats from waking up, he rushed over to answer it swiftly. The room was quiet once more when the receiver was snatched up. For a moment, he glanced over his shoulder and was relieved to see that the sudden noise didn't wake those two up. They were sleeping like rocks. 

"Hello...?" He finally spoke, leaning his rear against the desk. 

["Hey, haa...it's me. Been a, haa...Been a while, huh?"] When Hijikata's voice came through the receiver, Gintoki's eyes widened and tensed up for a mere second. He called...He actually called. 

"Oh, hey...This is unexpected". 

["I, haa...I know. Sorry...Haah, work...kept me busy"]. 

"Are you...Why are you ot of breath? Did you run all the way to your hotel room just to call me?" 

["Hell no!"] 

"Then why is your breathing all ragged? You have a cellphone for a reason, idiot". 

["Shut up...I forgot it. Sasaki's running me ragged with this incestigation, getting me to work as hard as possible to solve it"]. 

"Sounds like you're really running ragged, by the pace of your breathing". 

["I said shut it! Haa..So, how have you been? Missing me already?"] 

"Don't be stupid. I told ya, didn't I? I've been getting a shit-ton of work done since you left. Granny's really impressed. How about you? I'm sure you're getting things done, a lot more efficiently without me around". 

["What's with that? I get my work done with or without you around to distract me. Unlike you I don't have a job where I spend most of my time at home"]. 

"Even so, it must be hard sitting at your desk in your office without thinking about me, right?" 

["You're full of it"]. 

A feeling of normality swept past them both in a brief moment of silence. Gintoki's finger was intertwind with the phone wire. He didn't move as he listened to nothingness, the same moment, the same familiarity that Hijikata was feeling. It was almost nostalgic to hear eachother's voices, but a loss was considered as they were unable to see eachother's faces. 

["So...What have you been up to? Putting work aside, of course..."]. 

"Come on, if we don't bring up work there won't be much to talk about. I've been working non-stop since you left. It's weird". 

["My job isn't as easy. We've hit a wall right now and we're trying to work our way around. There isn't much to go on in terms of evidence and the suspect we caught has a perfect alibi, along with witnesses"]. 

"So...what does that mean?" Gintoki's stomach turned. It had only been a few days, yet a heavy weight brought him down to the notion that Hijikata would be gone longer. 

["It doesn't mean anything yet. Everyone's doing what they can, and we have a lead. If that works out, I shouldn't have to be here much longer, if you include catching the guy who did this and court sessions. Hopefully things go our way this time"]. 

"Aren't you the Vice-Commander of the Shinsengumi? Since when did you hope for results. I always thought of you as a guy who gets results, every time". 

["What makes you say that?"] 

"Cause I'm the same. Don't give up. If there's a wall in your way, do whatever you can to break it down and get over it". 

["I'll be sure to do that. Thanks..."]. 

"Thank me when you get back". 

["Sure..."]. 

"...".

["Well, I guess I'll talk to you later. See ya-"]. 

"Oi, are we just gonna end it there? We haven't spoken in a few days and you wanna hang up now?" 

["Don't go all quiet then, idiot. Is there something else you wanna say?"] 

"Yeah, actually. I was thinking about telling a few more people about you and me". 

["Is that so? While we're at it, I guess I can tell the entirety of the district police about our relationship"]. 

"Does it bother you, really?" 

["No, not really. But why not wait until I come back and introduce us? Or do we already know these people?"] 

"You don't, obviously. But, fine, I can wait. I'm sick of doing these alone". 

["Me too. It's settled, then. You can introduce us and then we can both explain the relationship"]. 

"Good. That takes a lotta weight off my back, so thanks". 

["Are you gonna go to bed now?"] 

"Uh, no. I'm baby-sitting tonight, so I have to wait until he gets picked up". 

["Baby-sitting? Who?"] 

"Seita. You remember, right? That kid you met at the festival". 

["Oh, yeah, I remember. I guess I'll leave you to it then. I'm sorry for not contacting you sooner"]. 

"Don't worry so much. I'm a big boy, I can manage. And I know you're managing fine as well, since you have work to distract you. So...I guess we can talk later". 

["Y-yeah. We'll talk later. Goodnight, Gintoki"]. 

"...Goodnight". 

They hesitated, retracting the recievers from their ears, staring for a few moments before the line went dead. In Gintoki's hand, the handset hummed for a few moments before he placed it down and hung up. He sunk to the floor with a heavy sigh that was waiting to escape his lungs. His heart sank, weighed down my this unrecognised feeling of longing. Gintoki could only hear Hijikata's voice in his mind, but in this tired state Hijikata's face was abscent. All Gintoki could picture was his broad shoulders, facing him as he walked off with a cigarette between his lips. The scent was gone. Burying his face in his hands the longing was swiftly dragged down by Gintoki's foolishness. He felt like a moron. Moron, moron, moron. The word stuck with him for a moment or two and he slowly reassured himself that he was sinking to the floor for nothing, that he was getting worked up for nothing. It had only been a few days-a few short days-and yet knowing that Hijikata was farther away than usual, his abscence was so much more evident. 

"Shit...What the hell am I thinking? Snap out of it, Gin-san...". He mumbled. Was there any way to get out of this funk after every phone call to come? Gintoki had hidden his face away, not a sound emitting throughout the entire apartment. That was natural, since Seita had only opened his eyes and had not said a single word throughout that entire phone call conversation between Gintoki and this other person. He mentioned the festival...Was it...Was it that man? He wondered this to himself, quietly, also wondering what he should do. If Gintoki was dating someone already, then... 

... 

... 

Gintoki had spent too much time in the apartment as of late. A few nights past already, and a few days turned into a week since Hijikata's leave. Gintoki had grown accustojed to this for the time being, remembering constantly that the mayo-addict was coming back soon. He heard a few bits and pieces of news about the investigation and it's progress, but nothing that went into too much detail. During one evening, an evening when Kagura wasn't around, Gintoki prepared a meal for himself, turned on the T.V and draped a blanket over his legs. He had bathed, changed and had plugged the phone into the same socket next to the T.V's. Hijikata called a few minutes early, since he now had some more free time. 

"Have you turned on the T.V yet?" Gintoki asked, holding the handset in one hand and a pair of chopsticks in the other. 

["Yeah. Can't believe we're doing this..."]. 

"It was your idea". 

["Like hell it was. I only told you over the phone that the drama's next season was starting up today. You were the one who came up with the genius idea to watch it at the same time while I'm here in Hokkaido"]. 

"It's not like we can cuddle up and watch it, so why not do this? You charged your cellphone fully for this, didn't you?" 

["Of course..."]. 

"You got room service for a meal while we watch, didn't you?" 

["Well..."]. 

"You're in bed too, aren't you? After taking a bath, getting changed? Hm?" 

["Alright, you bastard! Even if this is a lame idea, it is better than nothing. We haven't had a date in a week since I've been away. But this would be more efficient if you stopped being so stubborn and got Skype™"]. 

"No way. It's embarrassing. What if it looks weird, huh? I don't want you staring at me through a computer screen". Gintoki pouted, slurping the noodles from his instant ramen cup, the phone's handset balanced between his shoulder and ear for a moment. 

["Since when were you so self-conscious?"]. 

"I'm not self-conscious! I hate this new technology stuff. I don't get it at all, unlike Mr Know-It-All". 

["Even though Skype™ has been around since 2003?"] 

"Shut up! That doesn't matter! It's embarrassing! Leave me be!" 

["Alright, fine. The show's about to start, so are we gonna shut up or what?"] 

"You shut up". 

["Aren't you acting kinda childish tonight?"] 

"And what? Geez...". Furrowing his brow, Gintoki continued to slurp the instant ramen, which Hijikata could clearly hear. 

The show began after commerials, but neither stopped talking. They didn't want it to be dead silent, otherwise why would they watch it together? Why go through all this trouble? It wouldn't be a date then. 

["Are all the same characters back?"] 

"I think so. I mean, why wouldn't they be? I know during the middle of some drama's they switch characters by killing them off or having them leave, or is that soap operas?" 

["I dunno. I don't watch many soap operas, now that you mention it"]. 

"It's always the same shit anyway. Someone dies, someone gets pregnant, someone has an affair, someone has another affair, someone is murdered, someone fights, someone dies during a fight, someone gets pregnant, someone gets murdered, another person has an affair, a gay character is introduced, other characters are introduced, family issues, murder, another gay character, another affair-". 

["Okay, okay, I get it. That's enough. Obviously you're not a fan"]. 

"Yeah, obviously. These kinda dramas are way better since there's more story and character development rather than the same old bullshit being milked for fifty years or so". 

["..."]. 

"What...?" 

["Nothing. It's just...It's nice hearing you talk so freely, like you usually do"]. 

"Eh? What's that supposed to mean?" 

["Like I said, it's nothing. Let's watch the show already. I can barely hear what's going"]. 

"Hold on one minute. What did you mean? Don't be shy". 

["You...Haa...I guess...I guess it's because I haven't heard you talk like this in a while. Saying something like that out loud, I feel pretty stupid. I guess it feels different this way, like we're not that far apart, like...I'm right there with you and you're talking away as per usual. Feels like our conversations are cut short these days because of work...Does that make sense at all?"] 

"For the most part. I suppose our conversations have been shorter, but that can't be helped because of your job. So while you have free time, let's sit back and talk for as long as you want. It should make up for a lot of lost time". 

["Yeah, it should do. Sorry, I know that was a weird thing to-"]. 

"No, not at all. Don't get so stressed over the little things and relax. I'm sure you deserve it after working so hard". 

["Hah, I try..."].

What they were doing was a lot better than watching the drama series that played out on their T.V screens. They got lost in their conversation, talking for as long as they could without following the plot. Although they organised their "date" to be like this, they dragged on their conversation although they did talk about the drama itself at some points. The episode went on for a full half-an-hour, as did their phone call. The phone bill wasn't going to be a pretty sight, that was for sure. Their conversation topics weared thin, mostly due to their need for sleep. Two empty containers sat by their sides; an empty bowl of ramen and an instant noodle cup. By now they had both relaxed, and were equally tired despite the time being nine at night. The end credits for the drama's first episode scrolled down the screen, which meant this date was nearig the end already. 

"Man, it's over? I barely knew what was going on...". 

["That's because you were talking the whole time, idiot. I guess they might show re-runs or something"]. 

"I sure as hell hope so". 

["...Hey, Gintoki. This was kinda fun, huh?"] 

"What, this?" 

["Yeah, this; all of it. Even if it was indirect, a date is still a date if that's what you wanna call it"]. 

"It was a little better than expected. I mean, I wasn't really taking you seriously when you agreed to this date idea, but...". 

["Liar. You sounded like you were anticipating, getting all excited like a little kid on Christmas Eve"]. 

"I was not". 

["Yeah, you were"]. 

"Don't argue with me. Wanna fight?" 

["Not like we can, anyway, since you're there and I'm here. Can't be helped..."]. 

"...Hey, Hijikata, do you wanna go to bed? You sound tired". 

["I'm alright. Work wears me out anyway, so this is nothig compared to that"]. 

"There's no need for you to act tough now. The show's ended anyway, so why don't we say goodnight already?" 

["I said it's fine. I wanna talk a litte more"]. 

"...! You are definitely over-exerting yourself, spouting shit like that. What, did you have sake while we talked, huh? Hotel stuff you lucky bastard? Go to bed already, and we can talk again some other time". 

["Hmph...It's funny. Usually at this point we would have gone to bed already or have fallen alseep on the sofa"]. 

"...I know. But we're not together, and you're working tomorrow. Get your ass to bed already"]. 

["Yeah, yeah. Fine, no need to boss me around. Have a good sleep"]. 

"You too. And I'm not bossing you around. Who am I, your Mom?" 

["You're certaintly acting like it"]. 

"Like hell I am. I'm going to bed too anyway. I'm tired, and my throat's starting to hurt from talking for so long". 

["Alright, I'll let you go then. We can talk another time, okay?"] 

"Of course. See ya...Have a good night". 

["Same to you...Oh, and Gintoki..."]. 

"Hm...?" 

["I meant what I said. I did wanna talk a little bit longer, but we could always do that when I come back. I'll get this case solved and come back as soon as possible"]. 

"Oi, cut that out already. It's too late at night for you to go on like that, saying such cool words to an old man like me. If you really wanna solve that case and get back here, go at your own pace. I know I joked about you finishing off quickly, but with solid results, but I think you shouldn't rush. Good luck, alright? I'll talk to you some other time". 

["...Right. Okay. Whatever you say...Goodnight, Gintoki"]. 

"Goodnight, Hijikata...". 

And so the conversation ended. Gintoki placed down the phone, collapsing onto his back across the sofa with his arms resting behind his head. That guy...Now who was the idiot for thinking about stupid shit? Gintoki turned on his side as if he was going to fall alseep right there on the couch. They-both Gintoki and Hijikata-had fallen asleep together on the sofa once or twice. Whenever they woke up their muscles would ache and they would end up getting into a groggy spat over whose fault it was for the sore muscles, or the fact that they fell alseep on the sofa on accident instead of going to bed. Why was that something to remember as if you felt nostalgic about it, moron? Ginoki covered his face up with a cushion, his eyelids growing heavy. He somehow ignored the fact that the T.V was still on, playing some other show scheduled after the drama. Gintoki paid no attention as he grew tired. He wanted to sleep and clear his head for one evening. 

... 

... 

The days went on as normal, and not another call arrived since Gintoki's "date" with Hijikata. It was to be expected. And he didn't mind. The days when he didn't get in contact, however, seemed to drag on. It had been a little over a week and the only people he hung out with were at work, while in the publishing office during the day, and lately Gintoki had seen a lot more of Sarutobi. She was clearly holding back from jumping into Gintoki's arms, or back, whenever she saw him. Seemed like she was a hundred percent serious about being friends and nothing but. The least he could do was give her credit for her determination after god-knows how long she chased him around like a rabid dog chasing a rabbit. As for Tsukuyo the next time he saw her was that evening, standing in his doorway with a straight expression and the first thing she uttered was: 

"Let's get going". After a few seconds of silence and confusion as to why she hadn't said a word since arriving. Not even a friendly "hello", even with such a straight expression. 

"Huh? Where to?" Gintoki was obviously unwilling to be dragged out of his home while he was working, for once. If she wanted to hang out as a way to pay her "dept" since he took care of Seita, he didn't want it. 

"That buffet place you mentioned. Let's go". 

"H-hold on a minute, will ya? If this is about that time, when I took care of Seita, I wasn't being serious. You don't owe me a thing". 

"Yeah, I do. Hinowa had more fun than she thought, and we're both very grateful, so I wanna treat you. Let's go". 

"Stop saying "let's go, let's go"! That won't change the situation". 

"Look, I'm already here and there's no rush since we both have quite a bit of free time". 

"When did I say that I have free time?! I'm working!" 

"You could always finish it later, can't you? This is the only time that I'm free during the evening, and I wanna treat you. So...Let's get going". 

This woman was persistent, although she lacked any kind of determination in her tone or facial expression. It was blank; her face. She wasn't giving Gintoki much of a choice, since she had walked all the way there, intending to take him out and treat him to something. This was the type of woman that would physically drag him out of his apartment in order to pay her depts, no matter how small and insignificant they were. Gintoki glanced over his shoulder before his eyes moved back to the straight and still board that was Tsukuyo's facial expression. What was she trying to convey right now?

"Okay, you got me. Lemme save my work first and then I'll be right with you".

Turning, heading back to his desk, saving the word document and shutting off his laptop just as he was on a role with his work. The deadline wasn't for another few weeks, so for now he was safe but Gintoki was aware of his own habits when it came to slacking off. One evening wouldn't kill him, but a morning without a finished chapter was a death sentence. "Screw it": he thought as he put on his shoes. Wasn't the first time he missed a day or two of working, and he definitely had trouble when it came to deadlines. He had acknowledged the fact that he had been working for a whole week, whether he still rested or not. 

With all this free time and room, he worked peacefully and the words came to him like how dirty talk rolled off the tongue-and Gintoki was proud of his dirty talk, watching Hijikata's red cheeks grow darker, hearing him squeak by accident as he got oh-so-excited. Now was not the time, Gin-san. Now was not the time. He pulled on his coat, grabbing his scarf, checking his pockets for his keys while exiting with Tsukuyo. The lights were flicked off last minute, plunging the empty apartment into darkness with only the evening light shining through the uncovered windows. Gintoki, hands stuffed into his coat pockets, led the way to the elevator with Tsukuyo. This felt like a first-time thing. He rarely ever went anywhere with this girl. The last time they went someplace-just the two of them-there was drinking and "domestic violence", as Gintoki put it. She beat him to a pulp that evening because he refused to give her any more booze right up until she had an early nap on the sofa. That was a while back, too. And despite the violence and the yelling, it was fun. Although, for Gintoki, it wasn't as fun as...He was thinking about him again, looking with a smile before his lips straightened out again and he drifted into a daze of thoughts and the same feeling of longing. He ran his fingers through his hair, cursing to himself before the elevator stopped at the ground floor, and the doors opened. 

... 

This place was decent. The food was good and the bills were cheap. To top it off, Gintoki could get up and serve himself a platter of food however many times we wished while the person with him-unless it was Kagura-passed off a weird look in his direction. It wasn't the first time he was stared at in the same way that everyone at the dinner table stares at Kagura; a small girl who eats more than any normal human being can handle without puking. Gintoki piled on a serving of udon, along with sake. Tsukuyo returned to their table long before Gintoki with a small serving of fried rice and gyoza dumplings. Resting her chin on her knuckles, elbow propped up on the table, she stared with eyes of both amazement and interest. 

"Are you serious?" She asked, separating her chopsticks to focus on her own meal whike casually eyeing his without any more words to pass. 

"Hell yeah, I'm serious. I missed lunch, so you could say this is perfect. Although I don't know how I feel about having you of all people drag me to this restaurant". 

"Oi, watch your mouth. This is my way of paying you back for babysitting, so your only job is to shut up and accept it". 

"Man, such a grumpy woman. Keep going like that and you'll get bad furrows too. Ah, I can already see the lines etching deeper and deeper into your forehead". 

"As if! You'll get wrinkles way before I do, old man". 

"Who're you callin' old man? Our age isn't that far apart, y'know. And I'll be in my fifties before I even start developing laugh lines on my face. In the anime world, age doesn't appear until you're at least fifty years old, unless you're some supernatural being or you're Catherine. I'm sure she started aging the moment she hit puberty". Gintoki shuddered in disgust upon forcing himself to utter those very words, attempting to shut away any kind of image as he fully intended to keep his food in his stomach. 

"I suppose...". Tsukuyo didn't pay much attention to the disturbing details of Gintoki's co-worker and her aging process being like that of fungus. She simply watched him talk normally, like a friend. It was easier this way. He clearly saw this woman before him, drinking her glass of orange juice (to avoid alcohol) and smiling like any other girl. But Gintoki didn't see her as a woman, but as Tsukuyo; a friend. That's what she considered, anyway. But deep down Tsukuyo knew how she saw Gintoki. The image she saw was distorted and vague, an unreadable situation laying before her in broken pieces that she herself had to pick up one by one. They was she saw Gintoki seemed to differ depending on the situation. Sometimes he was a friend whom had a perverted and sadistic side, along with some dirty habits. Other times he was a man. A man whom spoke sweet words and offered a hand for Tsukuyo to grasp, as well as a shoulder for her to lean on. That man was reliable, kind but also had his quirks and flaws that made him all the more human. He was...He... 

"You know, I don't come here that often, but the few times I have been in this place it's always been with a few buddies. 

"Huh? Well...that's natural. This does seem like the kinda place for buddies to visit, drink and so on. I don't get much of a chance due to work and my duty of taking care of Hinowa during the day". 

"Maybe it would be alright to bring her sometime". 

"Hm, yeah. I'd bring Seita too, of course. But it'll be a little hard, seeing as you have to constantly get up. I suppose I'd do that for her, no matter how much she protested and said I didn't have to. I want Hinowa to have a proper life, y'know. Being stuck in the apartment all day would drive anyone nuts. So that's why...That's why I'll save up some money and get her a good doctor that can give her surgery and, hopefully, give her the chance to walk again. I've saved up some money from working, but it's not like we have insurance. None of us have our real names anymore, so...Uh...Shit, sorry. I started rambling a bit". 

"Don't worry about it. I think it's okay for you to talk about it. You want help for her, that's natural, and nobody should stop you from letting out all your worries and problems into words. I can listen". 

"...! Ah...S-sure. Thanks a lot. But you're not my therapist, ya know. Haa...Anyway, who-...Who do you usually come with to this place? Anyone I know?" 

The subject changed quite narrowly, switching in a whole other direction quickly. There didn't seem to be a smoother way to talk about something else from this. 

"Not that you know of. Just a few old friends of mine, and the old hag on occassion when she's in a good mood. Ah, but the again, when she's in an amazing mood-thanks to the successful releases of my books-she insists on spoiling me and taking her big money-maker to some fancy place in town". 

"She isn't that acquisitive, is she?" 

"Nah, I'm kidding around. The old hag isn't materialisitc in any way. She's more generous than I am, definitely. Yeah, I've come to cheap, but good quality, places like this with a few friends. Hah, I actually came here with a good friend quite a while back. We were hungry and I wasn't carrying much in my wallet that night, so we came in, sat down and we served ourselves some food. I came back and he gave me the same weird look you did". 

Yes...That's right. It wasn't too long ago, yet the memory clicked within Gintoki's mind and the images came back like a roll of film playing in a fuzzy image, coloured in a blur, the voices echoing distantly. 

("Oi, Gintoki, what's with the huge serving? Don't tell me you're that hungry"). Was what he said, lighting a cigarette. Ah, that's also what happened. They sat in a smoking booth, like this one. 

("Shut your mouth. I'm starving, and it saves the trouble of constantly getting up only to sit back down. It's a pain in the ass"). 

("You're so lazy..."). 

("I am and I don't give a crap. Maybe you should learn to relax once in a while, have a couple lazy days instead of pushing yourself to work"). 

That's...what he said back then. He remembered. But also the distinctive scent of hot noodles and azuki beans on rice permeated Gintoki's senses in his momentary daze. 

("That's easy for you to say, having spent most of your job in your home"). 

("Don't underestimate authors, asshole"). Was what he exclaimed, angrily pointing his chopsticks at that person. ("I work hard, sometimes without sleep if I'm close to missing a deadline"). 

("Yeah, yeah, I get it. Anyway, it couldn't hurt to get some exercise in your legs by getting up every few minutes to fill your plate. What you've done...That isn't just a couple servings piled together out of idleness. You're being a bit of a glutton there, aren't you?") 

("Even if I'm an adult, I'm still growing. Food is fuel, especially if you have my job where you sometimes forget to eat 'cause you're on a roll with the next couple chapters lined up. But you're not that much different when it comes to piling it all on"). 

("Meaning...?") He asked, squeezing a full bottle of mayonnaise onto each one of his servings. 

("Look at yourself, pouring mayonnaise onto your food like it's a perfectly normal and healthy thing to do. If ya ask me, your mayonnaise addiction is a lot worse than when I pile on ordinary food at a buffet. It's all you can eat, but aren't you going a little too far with the mayo?") 

("Says who? And anyway, you've got azuki beans on rice. So don't go pointing the finger at me, expressing disgust for my tastes when yours is worse. At least all my food is still savoury! You've created a disaster since you're too lazy to get up and serve yourself dessert!") 

("What's that you bastard? At least I don't put azuki beans on everything. Honestly, I dunno how you can stomach all of that mayonnaise. Aren't you sick of it by now? Don't you wanna add proper seasoning like salt, pepper, or my fuckin' azuki beans?") 

("As if. Mayonnaise is the best food, it goes with everything"). 

("Like hell it does! Fine, let's see if you can stomach it for the rest of the meal. I'll continue to eat my big portions, with azuki beans only on rice while you keep on eating everything with mayonnaise and we'll see who gets sick of eating first"). 

("You know, I don't really see the logic of this, but bring it on, asshole! No matter how much mayo I add, I won't get sick of it. You'll see..."). 

"That night we had a bit of a stupid contest by eating as much as we could until our stomachs couldn't bear it anymore. Honestly, I think he got sick of the portions more than the mayonnaise, cause he still eats it today. It went on for quite sometime until we both rushed out into the back alley to throw up". 

The images played back again, although these memories were a lot less pleasant. 

("Uuuulgh...Kuh! Haa, haaah...Haa, Hi-...Hijikata...How you feelin'?") 

("How'd you think, haa...I'm-ulgh...Haa...How'd you think I'm feeling, bastard? I ate too much...Way too much..."). 

("It's fine. Just get it all outta your system...It was a pretty dumb contest anyway"). 

("You started it!") 

("And you went along with it! I didn't force you, you stubborn ass!") 

("How can I say no?! That would make me look weak in front of you!") 

("Doesn't matter...We both spilled our guts, and we can safely say that I won, alright? So let's drop it..."). 

("No way. Shut the fuck up. I won, you threw up first"). 

("Nuh-uh, you ran out first, so I'm the winner"). 

("You got up from your seat first"). 

("You gagged first"). 

("You started going pale first"). 

("You thought about throwing up first"). 

("You can't prove that, shithead! Don't try to win unfairly-gh! Uulgh...!") 

("Ah! Hijikata...!") As soon as he began vomiting again, Gintoki went to his side and rubbed circles into his back. ("It's fine. Get it all out. Shit...We didn't even get drunk or anything. This is just binging..."). 

("Haa...Haaah..."). 

("Hey, you okay? See, I played the comforting card, so I technically win"). 

("Like hell you do...Oh, man..."). 

("You good...?") Hijikata nodded weakly, covering his mouth just in case. The smell was pungent, as well as the lingering aftertaste that could only be washed away with a glass of water and some mints. As Gintoki could recall, they ended up walking home together; leaning on eachother's shoulders with clenched stomachs and bad breath. Seriously, they had barely touched any alcohol that evening. 

It was a stupid contest that led to at least a whole day of recovery, lying in bed together, drinking plenty of fluids and eating mostly mints to help with the sickening aftertaste. It wasn't the most pleasant memory, but he got lost in the smaller, seemingly insignificant details like Hijikata's sleeping face and the way he stood by him in the bathroom, rubbing soft circles into Gintoki's back as he kneeled over the toilet basin. It was these little details that Gintoki got lost in, almost forgetting where he was right now. 

"And...that was it?" Tsukuyo brought him back. The ceiling lights flashed brightly in Gintok's eyes for a moment as the blur in his vision cleared up. He flinched upon hearing her voice, clearing his throat. 

"Ah-ahem...P-pretty much. We gave eachother a hand with recovering and that was it". 

Gintoki didn't go into great detail about those memories. He kept most of it to himself, even the name of his "friend". He wasn't sure why himself, but would only realise this upon recalling his words again. This wouldn't happen until later that night, while he was lone wth his thoughts.

"Sounds like you're good friends...". 

"Heh, nah. Nothing like that...In short, you could say he's a friend but we're more like rivals than anything, or so I've heard". 

"I see...". 

Gintoki's chose of words weren't exactly open, as he was intended to inform people like Tsukuyo and Sarutobi about his relationship with Hijikata. It wasn't going to be easy, but would it really be any harder than the previous times he had to tell someone about it? Probably, since Sarutobi had feelings for Gintoki, and Tsukuyo..He was unsure about her feelings. But maybe that would come to a close if he told them. Maybe... 

... 

At the end of the evening, Gintoki ended up inviting Tsukuyo over for a little bit. It was still early, and she did pay for dinner. Of course, he didn't mention that as a reason for his invitation. The other was to make up for some lost time. Tsukuyo wasn't a very relaxed woman. In fact, like Hijikata, she prefered work over fun and the concept of hanging out with people, having a good time. It was always work, work, work. Ah, no, wait. That did relate more to Hijikata. Besides, Tsukuyo had never really been in the apartment. Surely she would feel a little out of place, having lived in a much smaller, japanese-styled apartment. It was clear as day on her face as her eyes wandered around the room just as her feet carelessly wandered around the floor. They were bare, her feet emitting a dull tapping sound against the hardwood floor. She took it all in, glancing over her shoulder to Gintoki. 

"Hey, is it alright if I smoke in here?" 

"Go for it. I used to smoke myself, so its not like the smell bothers me". 

"Thanks...Ah, wait-". 

"Don't start thinking weird crap like "won't that encourage you to smoke"? Or whatever... I'm completely clean, don't worry, smoke away". 

"Uh, actually, aside from that, I was wondering if you had a lighter. I'd hate to impose, but I left mine at home since it ran out of lighter fluid. I'm supposed to buy a new one. Do you mind? I know you used to smoke anyway, and I think it's brave that you quit. Compared to you, I don't look that tough, huh?" 

"...Don't say that. Quiting is a difficult process that brings out a person's weaknesses. All I did was battle through them because Shinpachi and Kagura were getting worried about my health. You're strong in your own way. A little addiction won't change that, y'know. Make yourself comfortable so I can go get that lighter. I think I still have one in my desk". 

Gintoki entered his apartment; outdoor wear stripped. Tsukuyo nervously sat down on the sofa in the living area, tapping her bare heel over and over against the floor. It made her realise that she hadn't smoked since she left to pick Gintoki up for this whole arrangement. If she wasn't careful, this would probably lead to a chain smoking habit. Gintoki returned with the lighter in hand, tye sofa creaking beneath him as he parked his rear on the edge of it. Fidgeting, adjusting his position, he offered to light the cigarette for her. Placing it between her lips, Tsukuyo sat still as Gintoki lit her cigarette, and they both sat back and relaxed in the scent of pure death. That's what Kagura called it: the pungent smell of death. For a while it was effective as a mechanism to keep Gintoki off the cigarettes as he imagined the ashes being remnants of rotting corpses in a wasteland. Even now the very image sent undesirable chills crawling down his spine. 

"Y'know, a pipe might suit ya better". 

"Hm...?" Tsukuyo hummed in respond, cigaretre between her delicate fingers. 

"I said a pipe. Like a kiseru. An accessory like that would suit a classy young woman like yourself". 

"Hah, that's flattering. I suppose I will purchase one, or you could make it a birthday present". 

"Ack...I would've bought one for you, had you not mentioned birthdays. Those gatherings are a pain in the ass as an adult. I remember while I was still in middle school, me and a couple of friends were invited to a few parties. And we would just sit and play games like Uno and The Game of Life until the Mom left. Then until she got back we would play video games, drink ramune, play truth or dare with the girls. That's how I landed my first kiss". 

"Seriously? Your first kiss was from a game of truth or dare?" 

"Pretty much. She liked me and all, and it was a nice kiss, but I never really counted it since it was unofficial. If it's for a game, it's unofficial. That's the rule. Nowadays adults force you to dress up for something formal and overdone when it can be as simple as drinking a few beers while watching japanese game shows, or going out to dinner at a cheap restaurant, but for some good quality food". 

"Huh...I've never been to many parties, but I can understand where you're coming from. I'm not very formal, can't stand stuff like dresses or short skirts. I can't stand having to act like someone I'm not at a formal party. Although I don't get a lot of personal time, something like hanging out with a few friends on someone's birthday doesn't sound like a bad idea". 

"...Well, I guess I'll have to introduce you sometime. We actually have the Game of Life here, if ya wanna play?" 

"Huh? Oh, no...I'm good". 

"C'mon, don't tell me you're not familiar with it. Come on, it'll be a shiton of fun, you'll see". Gintoki got up from the sofa, ignoring Tsukuyo's failed attemtps to protest against playing a simple board game. Well, it was more complicated than most people think at first, but the Game of Life was something you grow accustomed to, even if it mostly relies on chance rather than skill. 

... 

The board was set out on the coffee table, the two players sitting opposite eachother. Apparently Kagura was staying with a friend yet again, on a school night to boot, so it was only the two of them. Fair enough since Kagura was quite competitive, even against new players. Gintoki chose to be the "banker" of the came, handing out tye fake bills evenly between them. 

"Know how to play?" He asked, shuffling the cards around before placing them in their rightful spot. 

"Yeah, but I've only played it once or twice with Seita and Hinowa. We're Monopoly fans". 

"Ah, that explains it. Alright, you can pick a career card or go to college, which do you want?" 

"Are we seriously doing this?" 

"Yeah, we are. Now pick one". 

"Haah...Career, I guess. I never went to college in real life". 

"Hmph, me neither". 

Tsukuyo picked out a "career" card and a "salary" card, like the game instructed. They proceeded, taking their turns each. Been a while since either of them had played. Boards games these days, for them, were best played during the raun season or a blackout; when there was nothing more to do than sit and wait for the storm to clear, or for the electricity to return. Although Gintoki's memory of it was a little rusty, he was no amatuer. 

"...You having fun yet?" Tsukuyo asked, watching Gintoki move his piece around the board after being provided with the required steps, as the spinning device in the center said. 

"We've only just started. Wait 'til you take out loans, pay for reparations, get married, have kids. This game is too real, but at the same time it's hard to get immersed, especially as an adult. We already know that life can't be decided by spinning a dial and movig a few steps with a small, plastic car piece and pegs. We choose our own steps, make our own errors and create life ourselves. Although this is a fun game, the day when I have kids will be the day that I get accepted into the rapture. And we both know neither of those things are gonna happen". 

"Hm, tell me about it. I mean, I get where you're coming from. Since when do you land on a square that tells you: "you've been sold to a strip club in the red light district as a child, pay every single life point you have and miss out on marriage and having kids your next turn"? Uh...Ahh, sorry. That was...pretty heavy". 

"This is supposed to be a kids game...". 

"Yeah, sorry 'bout that". 

"But that right there is real life, or at least it used to be. Not all of us can be doctors or lawyers...I didn't mean for you to bring that stuff up". 

"N-no, I brought it up. It doesn't really bother me anymore, since it was my own choice to give up being a woman. To keep myself from being corrupted, to protect Hinowa and Seita, I gave it all up by scarring this face. It's true, but for some reason it doesn't seem real, does it? I would scar my face and discard any opportunities that normal women have; boyfriends-or girlfriends-marriage, kids. I left it all behind to beat the shit outta thugs and violent perverts at the club, and to take care of the woman who practically saved my life". 

Gintoki had heard her story, he had his thoughts on it, and saw what lay beyond a couple of scars and a grumpy, violent personality. Behind that, Tsukuyo was a woman like any other. Although she was strong and independent, she was also very caring and could be fun in her own way. Their game paused, neither had moved as silence broke through. It didn't last. 

"You know...A few scars shouldn't have to take away a woman's true beauty and her future. What you do with your life is soley up to you, and no thug, pervert or a couple scars can snatch that away from your grasp if there's something you truely want. These days, women of all ages can do anything if they put their mind and hearts into it. I've seen it with my own eyes. You, Tsukuyo...You just need to take a chance, seize an opportunity to do what you want, because not matter how many scars you have there's a certain beauty underneath. You just need to realise that yourself". 

She stared. She just stared at Gintoki's aloof expression as he continued with the game. He was relaxed, she was not. Her chest grew tense, and the feeling returned. Tsukuyo's heart felt heavy, a drum beating against her ribcage in an almost suffocating fashion. Hands clenched in her lap, chest tightening with each passing second, and a daze that filled her head...This man...He had a funny way of expressing his friendship. There was always something that tokd her that she was overthinking things, jumping to assumptions without knowing the facts. And because of that she surpressed the heavy burden that clung to her chest. Although her hands trembled and her heart raced, she had to surpress it. She couldn't look at him that way...Absolutely not...She had to...Especially if...If he... 

"...-...?" Tsukuyo's eyes drifted up, her gaze moving back towards Gintoki. The feeling vanished when her eyes caught something far more distracting. Why of all things was this more distracting? "Hey, Gintoki, you've...got something on your face". 

"Hm? What?" 

"I think it's from dessert earlier. Looks like a bit of chocolate". 

"Seriously? Geez...I was walkin' around with this. Coulda told me sooner...". Gintoki wiped his lips using the side of his hand, furrowing his brow. "This kinda thing is really embarrassing, y'know". 

"Well, sorry". That killed off the feeling, if not then it was certainly eased. She didn't want to feel this way. She couldn't-not after all of her efforts to abandon womanhood. During the moments silence, she took a second to reflect on herself and endure the label "fool" or "moron" for thinking about this stuff. 

"Is it gone?" Gintoki's eyes darted Tsukuyo's way, retracting his hand. The moron missed entirely. 

"No...". Gintoki wore a frustrated face, wiping his mouth a second time. Even then, the stain of chocolate clung to the side of his face. It was beginning to frustrate Tsukuyo. "Are you an idiot? Lemme do it". 

Tsukuyo stood up from the floor, leaning over across the table, grasping Gintoki's face quite roughly before wiping away the chocolate with her thumb. It came off easily. 

"Oi, that hurts my face. Mind letting go?" 

"One second. Ugh, you're lik a child, you know that?" Tsukuyo wiped away another chocolate stain, furrowing her brow as Gintoki rolled his eyes. 

"What're you, my Mom?" 

"If I was your Mom, I wouldn't let you walk around with chocolate on your face. This is just as embarrassig for me as it is for-haah! Shit!" 

Tsukuyo suddenly gasped. Due to the way she leaned over, her foot slid over a fake bill left lying on the floor. Suddenly, she fell forward, smacking her knee against the surface of the tabke in order to maintain balance, no matter how painful it was. But her upper body slumped forward, and was swiftly caught by Gintoki in his own panic. Their heads clashed, and the pain throbbed in an instant. 

"Ah! Owowowow...O-oi, watch it!" 

"Ack! Ow...Fuck...". 

"Haa, you okay there?" 

"Yeah, I jus' hit my knee...and my head. Fuck it hurts...". 

"Ack...You should've been more careful, idiot". 

"Don't call me a-...!" Tsukuyo froze upon raising her head, arms slung over Gintoki's shoulders. 

Gintoki realised it himself; that this was clearly a dangerous situation. Hell, anyone could see that... Their faces were close, too close. It was like he was on the very brink of death, his life-no, his time spent with Hijikata-flashing before his eyes as he unconsciously stared into Tsukuyo's. She knew it. She knew this was dangerous. She knew she had to back off now, otherwise it would be too late. Gripping his shirt, Tsukuyo's hands began to tremble. But she was unable to remain in this position for long as Gintoki, for the first time, made the wisest decision and swerved his head out of the way, breaking their mutal gazing. For that, Tsukuyo could say she was glad. But at the same time, she couldn't help but feel something like disappointment parading around her thoughts, causing her guilt. It was possible to do it; to make it a scene and kiss him. It was a bold move, but she refused it, as did he. 

"Gintoki, I...". She murmered, gaining his attention even with a mere glance. Once again Tsukuyo held her head low, biting her bottom lip before quickly releasing it. "Gintoki...". She wanted so desperately to speak, say something. But the smartest option would be to get off of him already and begin the awkwardness. A scene like this...A situation like this...felt so forced on her part, and the only thing she wanted to do was be smart and pull away before- 

"...!" 

Their gazes darted in the same direction, the sound of the phone ringing breaking a huge barrier between them. For a few mere seconds, there was stillness. Then, Tsukuyo pulled away from Gintoki and sat on the floor uttering a quiet apology, rubbing the sore spot on her head. "Sorry...". She mumbled, unable to look him in the eyes. 

"It's alright. Excuse me...". Gintoki stood, rushing over to answer the phone. He felt dread. The notion that this was Hijikata crept up on him as he neared the phone, the ringing, closer and closer until he silenced it and picked up the handset. "Yes...? 

["...Hey. It's me again"]. 

Despite his expectations, hearing Hijikata's voice while he was in a fair mood-as Gintoki could tell from the tone of his voice-was like the impact of a car crashing into someone as they crossed the street, minding their own business; they knew that roads were dangerous, but the lights flashed green-they were green-yet that person still drove on without a care and accidentally ran over a teenager or adult in the street. It was crushing, almost suffocating, and heavy. Oh-so heavy...Almost like...Guilt. So who was who in this situation? Was Gintoki in the drivers seat, being too careless? And was Hijikata the unexpecting victim? He got a headache when briefly thinking about it. But was there any reason to feel guilty? He resisted, nothing happened, and now Gintoki was speaking to Hijikata and was glad to hear his voice. 

"Hey. Where have you been?" Gintoki acted naturally, he felt natural talking to Hijikata as he pushed aside the previous events that took place moments ago. But one could hardly call it an "event" as nothing happened. It may have been in Tsukuyo's head-it was certainly clear to Gintoki that the position they were in was dangerous-but nothing occured and Gintoki relaxed. 

["Work. Where else? Hey, listen, I've got some news. It's not set in stone yet, but we may have finally caught the guy who started all this. There's been one trial so far, and the evidence points to him. We have one more trial tomorrow to clear things up and then-"]. 

"Hijikata, I...I know where you're going with this, and I'm glad, but...Is it alright if I call you a little later tonight?" 

["...What happened?"] Hijikata sounded more concerned than angry, but Gintoki didn't react. Out of trust, it was better to discuss these things properly at a better time. 

"It's nothing, really. Well, I'll talk to you about it later, alright? Right now, I kinda need to take a bath and get changed. I'll definitely call you in a bit though". 

["Gintoki, the way you're talking kinda concerns me. If there's something you wanna discuss, I'll listen. After being gone for this amount of time, all I wanna do is...talk to you and hear about these past two weeks on your end. We haven't really spoken much, so you can tell me whatever's on your mind"]. 

"Hmph, that's sweet. Really. I'll, uh, call you back. So sit tight". 

["Will do..."]. 

They both hung up after a moment of silence but, unlike Hijikata, Gintoki didn't linger for another moment as he turned around, ready to face Tsukuyo and explain everything to her. He had to tell her the truth and get this over with. 

"Tsuku-...Tsukuyo?" She stood at the entrance, slipping on her boots. Gintoki approuched slowly, seeing that solemn expression of hers closer and closer. "Hey, are you actually-". 

"Y-yeah, I'm gonna go. I'm...really sorry about this, Gintoki. I just...I need to clear my head, think about stuff and...Haa...I'm...I'll talk to you later, okay? I just need a little time...Sorry again". 

She exited, and Gintoki did not follow. Apparently she needed time to think. He wasn't going to stop her. Explaining all of this after "that" wasn't a good idea at the moment. After she clearly struggled to hold herself back and repress her true feelings, telling her the truth would probably be a bit too much for her; embarrass her, shock her beyond belief. Who knew with that woman. But Gintoki knew that things had to sort themselves out soon enough. No, they had to be sorted out soon. Very soon... 

... 

It was night, maybe an hour after the previous phone call, after Tsukuyo left. Gintoki lay in bed, having the phone unplugged and brought into his bedroom to finally call Hijikata back. He did feel better, hearing his voice again. He wanted a change of tone, and he had to explain things. 

["So that's what happened..."]. It took a little while, but Gintoki explained the situation to Hijikata, and waited for his reaction. ["That is a difficult situation"]. 

"Yeah, thanks for reminding me. Listen, I have to tell them the truth, and I might have to do it alone. I don't really mind, I just think it would be easier having you there, y'know? But this is between me and them, and I could always introduce you when you get back and everything's cleared up". 

["I...agree, actually. When you're sure that they would be okay, I can meet them and hopefully we can all get along. One big happy fuckin' family, am I right?"] 

"Hmph, yeah. So far it's been a pretty bumpy road, telling all of our closests friends about the relationship. But, one day, maybe it won't be so hard and we can do it standing tall, knowing for sure that we'll be accepted by them". 

["I hope so. If Sougo is fine with us, then why can't anyone else?"] 

"Exactly. I'll try to get in contact tomorrow, alright?" 

["Go ahead"]. 

"...Hey, Hijikata, you can finish what you were going to say earlier. About the trial and such". 

["Come on, you knew where it was going"]. 

"Finish anyway. I wanna know when you're coming back". 

["...Tomorrow. If trial goes well, I'll be heading home tomorrow afternoon. We can see eachother, and we can maybe go out and...y'know...Go back to normal"]. 

"Hah, Hijikata, by now you must realise that-". 

["Nothing about our relationship is normal. I know. It's just...I haven't seen you in two weeks. I haven't gotten a lot of sleep, since I've rested in an unfamiliar bed. I've been working this whole time and I've hardly been able to get in contact with you, so..."]. 

"Mm. I know what you mean. Lately I feel like my bed is too big, and the times I've gone into your apartment, it's felt pretty empty, even if you're coming back". 

["Hah, what, you miss me?"] 

"Don't word it like that, it's weird". 

["..."]. Hijikata didn't say anything for a moment, and then a sigh came through the reciever. Gintoki could almost feel his hot breath, but refrained from flinching away. He slumped further onto his back, staring up at the ceiling. ["Gintoki..."]. He finally spoke. 

"Yeah, what's up?" 

["...I know it sounds weird-almost crazy-but...I wanna see you as soon as possible"]. Gintoki was quiet, covering his eyes with his arm, a smile curving onto his lips. 

"Heh, you know, it's funny. You and I used to bump into eachother at the most undesirable moments. Whenever I didn't want to see you, there you were, and vise versa. Now it's gotten to the point where we haven't seen eachother for longer than a week and then, all of a sudden, it's like you work your ass off and give words of encouragement so that we can see eachother quicker". 

["...I know"]. 

"The truth is...I wanna see you, too. Does that sound dumb coming from either of us?" 

["Definitely. But, I don't think it's wrong for either of us to feel that way, do you?"] 

"No...No, of course not". 

Unusual...These words, this tone, was all so unusual. Gintoki's chest ached, and he wondered whether Hijikata was feeling the exact same way. Knowing him, perhaps his chest also ached. Perhaps he was impatient to return and see Gintoki. That wasn't the norm', but honestly none of this was. The situation that lay before Gintoki was abnormal as, in the past, he never had to explain a relationship to anyone. He had never been liked in a more intimate and romantic way up until now. Yet the only person whom he wanted to keep for those desires and feeling was Hijikata. For some reason, deep within Gintoki's unconscious mind, it had to be Hijikata. 

["Th-..ahem...Then I'm-...I'm glad. I'll...I'll be sure to come back tomorrow. Period"]. 

"You'd better, Mr Policeman. Come back so I can buy you a few drinks and congratulate you on your big investigation; expensive stuff".

["There's no need for you to go that far"]. 

"There is. Maybe I'll prepare dinner if you're hungry, run a bath, prepare some alcohol...". 

["Seriously...After the past couple weeks, all I wanna do is see you and...sleep. I've been givdn some time off the day after I return so we can definitely spend some time together then"]. 

"Okay, then. I'll...surprise you, I suppose". 

["...Well...I'm gonna go. I've gott sit in court tomorrow, praying to God, Buddha, whoever and tellin' them that I caught the rigt guy and that I need to go home"]. 

"I'll pray with ya...Goodnight, Hijikata". 

["Goodnight. I'll...try and see you tomorrow. Don't hold your breath"]. 

Hesitating, the two men hung up their phones and tye sikence ensued. For a while-a short while-longer, Gintoki stared up at the ceiling blankly before his eyes drifted to the empty space beside him. Hijikata's return felt so close, yet he was still so far away, and Gintoki's atience slowly began to crumble as the minutes drew closer. In a haze, he rolled over onto his side, shifted his body closer and closer to Hijikata's side of the bed. Leaning over it was the first step, and already he lost control of himself as he rested his forehead on the pillow and softly inhaled into the soft cushion. Cigarettes...It reeked of Hijikata's cigarettes and, somewhere within that musk, was his natural scent. It was the scent Hijikata radiated during the mornings upon waking when, for a full nine to ten hours of sleep, he couldn't possibly touch a cigarette. It was the scent that filled the fog-filled bathroom when they showered together and Gintoki sat sheepishly on his lap in the bathtub. It was the familiar, and incredible, scent that filled Gintoki's nose as whenever they made love. 

His heart skipped a beat, his cheeks flushed, and he felt like a fool...Crashing into the pillow, Gintoki clung on, rubbing his face into it in a failed attempt to shed these thoughts as soon as possible before this feeling of longing and arousal worsened. 

("Aaaaaah!....What the hell am I thinking?! Am I an idiot?! Stop it, stop it, stop it, Gintoki~!") 

He ceased, and the scent returned. The pillow was covered in it; this scent. The permeating smells sent Gintoki in a daze as he clung onto the pillow, hugging it, before inhaling deeply within it. Aside from the smoky smell of cigarettes, he recognised it, and acknowledged it, and thought to himself: "This smells amazing...It's so good...". Beneath him, his legs trembled like jelly and his heart began to pound. Gintoki felt hot, hugging the pillow tighter and tighter as he sniffed and inhaled within every crease. With his hands trembling, he reached down. Furtyer and further his shivering fingers reached between his legs...and he stopped, clenching his fist. 

("Fuck...I am an idiot. The hell am I trying to do at my age? Yeah...I haven't done it since I was in high school, and I feel stupid for cuddling up to Hijikata's pillow like some uke character in a yaoi series. But...But..."). 

He couldn't take it anymore. 

"Haa...Haah-ah...M-mn!" Already his back was arched, the sudden pressure he ensued was almost foreign and unfamiliar. Gintoki's breath escaped him, coming out in uneven panting just as he started. He couldn't believe this was happening... "Haa...Haa, haa! Haah! A-a-ck! Haa, aah...Sh-shit...Shit!" 

Doing this; Gintoki felt like a huge pervert as he inhaled into Hijikata's pillow and pleasured himself for the first time since he was seventeen. With his toes curling, goosebumps covering his arms and legs, he did't think he would last very long as the sensations were a lot more sensitive than usual. Moans escalated, his panting growing a little more erratic. He couldn't possible stay composed like this; not with his legs quaking beneath him, and not with pleasured shivers coursing across his body. The distinct smell of sweat and cigarettes filled Gintoki's nose as he shyed away from Hijikata's natural scent. Burying his flushed face against the pillow was the only thing that came to mind, and all he wanted to do was bite down on the pillow case to hold back his voice. It wasn't that easy, however, as his voice persisted on escaping, a string of drool sliding down his chin. 

"Haa! Haah! Haa! A-ahn! Uhhn...Nn, nnh...Haa...Fuck...Oh, fuck! I can't-...I want to...I want...". Gintoki moaned and whined, rolling onto his back. 

He reached further with his other hand, hus boxers easily sliding down his thighs as he propped his knee up for more reach. Then, in mere moments, he definitely couldn't hold his voice in. 

"Ah-ah! A-aah...Gh! N-nnh! Haa, haah! A-uah...Haa...Hi-mmn! Mn! Hiji-...". He wanted to bite his lip, refuse to call out his name. The embarrassment was overwhelming enough as it was. But the pleasure was much worse. "Hi-...Hijika-ahn! Hijikata! Hijikata! A-ahh! A-ow! Mnh! Hmn...". 

His toes curled and gripped the sheets as he unconsciously sped up his movements. Gintoki's head thrust back whenever he touched a certain spot that Hijikata always found eventually. It tingled and was almost mind-numbingly good. By now his body was soaked in sweat and he was reaching his peak in no time flat. Gintoki cried out to Hijikata with the motivation to put a quick end to this. Come to think of it, this was his first time doing this and it was honestly scary. Doing this thing himself was an experience that led him to think he might hurt himself or he wouldn't be able to get a release. But the heat and the build-up told him that he was close. It didn't hurt too much...It mostly felt good. But nit as good as... 

"Haa! Haa! Hijika-ahn! Ahhn! I'm about to...Fu-fuck! I'm gonna-...A-aah~! Ha! Haah! Aa! U-uhnn! Nnh! Ha! Haah! A-ah! Uah-Aaaagh!" 

Gintoki's sweaty back arched up, his fingers curling and squeezing as he reached the very end in pure, physical bliss. Collapsing backm,sprawled on the bed, was when it truely ended. Heavy panting forced its way from his lungs, his whole body hot and soaked with sweat. Only shortly after calming down did Gintoki realise that his eyes were watering and how hard he was shaking. 

("Goddammit..."). He cursed to himself, exhausted and only partially satisfied. But he didn't do it again. He wanted to wait, and be even a little patient for Hijikata's return. Gintoki wanted to see him and shed these feelings once and for all; the longing, the impatience and the painful fact that Gintoki actually missed the guy. Right now his top priority was to clean up this mess, fall asleep and once again forfet about all of this until the following morning. Hopefully then, somewhere in the evening, Hijikata would come back and Gintoki could recall even the smallest details of his face and actually feel happy to see it, rather than feeling annoyed and murderous. There. He admtted it to himself with a mocking smile on his face. Seeing Hijikata after this long...would make Gintoki happy. 

... 

... 

The events of the previous night inevitably played through Gintoki's head, and the embarrassment of his decisions swept in like a strong gust of wind. It was difficult to bear. Gintoki often found himself spacing out during that day, right up until the evening when he had someone at his side to wake him up. To clarify, his thoughts didn't just circle around the embarrassing recollection of his masturbation period the previous night, but his thoughts mostly drifted in and out about what happened with Tsukuyo and Hijikata's return to Tokyo. He hadn't called since that evening, and neither had Tsukuyo. Neither had contacted him, which was a little concerning. Now, the person who stood by his side at this time, secretly enjoying Gintoki's indifference and the concept of being ignored was... 

"Fine! Ignore me! Even while we agreed to be friends you still pierce me with your relentless teasing! Go on! Leave me here in the dirt! Or reward me with your piercing gaze and brutal kicks! Do it, Gin-san! Hurry otherwise I'll lose my mind~!" 

Gintoki stopped walking as that shrill tone broke through the barrier of his hearing between his thoughts and reality. His gaze naturally wandered down to the ground, seeing Sarutobi down on her knees, turned away from him as she awaited...What again? 

"What the hell are you doing. I thought you were putting your masochistic behaviour on hold since we're friends". 

"Huh? Oh, so you were paying attention to me". 

"Not really. Now can you get up? People are staring, ya weirdo". 

"Uh! Is that the best you've got?! Call me something worse! Kick me! Spit on me for being so disgusting! Thinking about it is so thrilling!" 

"You're masochistic side couldn't bear to be locked up much longer, huh?" 

"Sorry...Being around you like this, I lose control. And, besides, you seemed kind of down since we met up. I thought this would...cheer you up?" 

"How is your gross behaviour supposed to cheer me up? Get up". 

Gintoki reached out his hands, pulling Sarutobi to her feet. Making such insignificant skin contact, Sarutobi squeezed Gintoki's hands tightly and didn't let go for a few seconds. It was longer than necessary, and thus Gintoki felt a little uncomfortable. Why did he start hanging out with this woman again? He retracted his hands with a bit of force, and stuffed them into his coat pockets. 

"Let's go. I'm kinda craving taiyaki right now". 

It started with them bumping into eachother on the street during the later hours of the afternoon, and it went on like this. Sarutobi surpressed the urge to leap into Gintoki's arms-of course she would be thrown to the other end of the street if she tried-and remained in a timid state of mind, barely saying a word as Gintoki invited her for a walk. His intention, however, was to talk about Hijikata and his relationship with him. That was the goal here, but it wasn't a bad idea to ease her in and get her in a comfortable place instead of being his usual blunt and straightforward self. He wasn't fond of hurti g a woman's feelings, so the only way to cushion the blow was to establish a friendship more or less. He had to confirm this; confirm that she was alright, knowing that Gintoki was dating another person although he didn't go into great detail about it. He never mentioned that it was a man, and he never mentioned that he wasn't just fooling around with this person both sexually and on dates. They actually had something like a connection. These past couple weeks proved that, now didn't they?

Gintoki sat down with Sarutobi on a street bench, in an empty street. The sky was orange, and the air was chilled. With his thoughts focusing on reality, Gintoki gazed a single tree with its fallen leaves and skinny branches. He simply stared, taiyaki in hand and barely touched. Sarutobimwas surprisingly quiet, tearing off pieces of the pastry to reveal the custard filling inside. When slipping a piece past her lips, she naturally shifted her gaze in Gintoki direction. He had that same look again; like when they were at the taiyaki stand, ordering their pastries. It seemed as though even Sarutobi had noticed it, and it worried her. 

"Gin-san, may I ask something?" 

"What is it?" 

"This...This person whom you're dating...What are they like?" 

Gintoki scoffed quietly, sitting up straight with his back aching. 

"How come you're askig this now? If I know you as well as I think I do, you would have bombarded me with those question a while back. But lately you haven't exactly been acting like the usual, erratic, masochist that clings to me every opportunity you get. I suppose this is the real you, huh? Before, your attitude in trying to "cheer me up" felt a little forced, y'know". 

"Heh, yeah, I guess so. But-". 

"It's good to see you act so tame compared to all that, even if you are still a masochist". 

"Gin-san...I...You say that, but you haven't been acting like yourself either. I'm only asking you about this person whom you're dating because...That look on your face tells me that you've got a lot on your mind, and I was concerned that maybe they were doing something to make you unhappy or...". 

"Is that so? I haven't been acting like myself, you say...I can't entirely disagree. I have been spacing out and, yeah, there has been a lot on my mind. But the truth is that it isn't "that" person's fault. In fact, it's nobody's fault. There's just been this huge weight on my back that I need to get rid of. So, saying that, there's something I need to talk to you about". 

Sarutobi appeared to be worried, perhaps for her own position as Gintoki's friend-never mind lover or even a possible sexual partner. But Gintoki just smiled, beginning to eat his azuki bean-filled taiyaki as he spoke. 

"That person whom I'm going out with...We're not really in a serious relationship. At least, I wouldn't call it that yet. But I have a connection with them, one that I normally don't have with others. They are...I mean...Ah, fuck it...He's...special". 

"...Wha-..."H-he"? Gin-san, are you saying you...". 

"It shouldn't matter as much as what I'm about to say next. I feel like I've gained quite a few buddies over the years, you included, Sarutobi. But that guy...Well, we're not friends. At least we never appeared that way. And although what we have can't exactly be called "love" or whatever, I still feel like we're pretty close. Even if our conversations are different from what other couples have, even if we fight and argue a lot, even if we can't call our relationship serious, I've never felt so weakened in front of another person". 

"How so...exactly?" 

"...I dunno. It's not easy to explain these things. I suppose it's just easier to show him that I'm as human as the rest of us". 

Gintoki, around Hijikata, had felt things that he had never felt towards, or around, anyone else. This ranged from embrassment, to fear, child-like enjoyment, jealousy. The cool and collected Gintoki totally lost himself when alone with Hijikata, and a part of him cherished those feelings. They did make him feel more human, more alive. 

"Is that so...". Sarutobi, as Gintoki expected, was sullen. Despite her faint smile, her eyes held a lot of disappointment and sadness. Her eyes were affixed to the ground, fists clenching in her lap. The taiyaki in her hand was squished in her grasp, but she ignored it. 

"I had never heard of this person in great detail up until now, and all this time I had been expressing my love for you. Things like that are hard to explain, but they're recognisable. Although I can't quite explain it, I really do love you, Gin-san. And I wanted to get closer to you without being forced away, so I took Zenzou's advice and I asked to be friends first. Even when knowing that you were going on dates with another person, I wanted to try and win you over by showing my better self because I wanted my feelings to get through properly, and I wanted you to give me a chance over whoever you were currently going out with. But after hearing this, I don't think I can step all over that. Even if you won't call it "love", I can see that you really like that person, and I'm sure they like you too. So...What else can I do but stand aside and give up on you?" 

"That's...quite the defeat your taking". 

"I don't want you to hate me. Even after all the names and abuse I endured and enjoyed, I didn't want you to hate me. To have such strong feelings for someone, the worst thing they could possibly feel towards you is hatred. As much as it pains me right now, one of the most important things to me is your happiness, Gin-san. If you're happy, then there's nothing I can do. There's nothing I want to do...". 

This Sarutobi was the real on, right? Instead of shamelessly jumping in front of Gintoki to block his path, she wished to step aside if that meant he could be happy. A woman as devoted and persistent as her...It was surprising, but Gintoki was grateful for her words. He stood up withna sigh. 

"I appreciate that, truely". He muttered. "But don't look so glum. Even if I am going out with someone whom I'm quite close with, that doesn't mean I'll cut you out of my life. I have a feeling that you have a higher alcohol tolerance and Tsukuyo, which is good for me 'cause I wanted to invite you out again properly, as buddies". 

Sarutobi raised her head, a little surprised, but happy all the same. A smile difted onto her lips, a "yes" escaping past her lips quietly. 

"Good. Come on, I'll walk you home". 

Sarutobi's cheeks grew a little red, but it wasn't embarrassment or bliss. It was happiness, a little bit of joy in her day because Gintoki acted like a gentleman again rather than an easily irritated sadist. Sarutobi stood, walking by her side. She would have said "if you keep saying things like that, I'll only fall deeper and deeper for you", but she wisely kept that to herself. If friendship-true friendship-was what he wanted, then Sarutobi wouldn't argue. As long as they could still be friends, she wanted to put her feelings aside and allow them to die down. After all, Gintoki seemed to be quite happy with this "man". If he was happy-to her-that's what mattered the most. Being his lover was a distant dream, more distant than ever. But it was okay. It was okay now...Definitely this time. 

... 

Yet another dark evening, and Hijikata had yet to return or even call. Due to the current time, it would be concerning if he called at around midnight to say that he was stuck in Hokkaido for another day because Mr "Miles Edgeworth" yelled "Objection!" again and trial was suspended for yet another day. No, the only way that would happen was if the prosecutors name was "Von Karma", definitely. Gintoki sighed into his hands, hiding his face. Alone, anxious, irritated as hell, he thought about going to bed and assuming he wasn't coming home that night, or he would wait for that phone call and assume he wasn't coming home tonight. But, then again, the trip from Hokkaido to Tokyo was roughly ten hours by train. So in the end there was no telling whether Hijikata was coming home-unless he picked up the damn phone and gave an affirmative for that shit. Stupid mayo-freak. 

In his annoyance, Gintoki was ready to call Hijikata himself, when there was a knock at the door. Caught in a moment of surprise, Gintoki froze but then quickly made his way towards the door. Of course, if it really was Hijikata he didn't want to seem too eager. So, he slowed down the pace, stopped at the door, cleared his throat and then proceeded to slowly and hesitantly answer. Peering through the gap, he flinched and froze once more. 

"...Hey". A sullen face, guilty eyes...It was not Hijikata, but Tsukuyo. Gintoki let out a deep sigh, hating the fact that he got so worked up, and opened the door further. In these situations, an apology was on its way. But Gintoki didn't want to hear an apology. Not out of anger for what happened, but because he didn't feel like the word "sorry" was necessary. But...it was coming. 

"I...think I should apologise for last night". And there it was. The guilt as clear as day, especially in her eyes as she refrained from looking into Gintoki's, as though she would be reminded of the night before. "I wasn't really thinking straight and I...Ah, can I come in?". 

Gintoki gave a nod without hesitating much, stepping aside and opening the door wider. "...Sure". 

"Thanks. Sorry for the intrusion". 

Tsukuyo entered, anxious and hesitant as she removed her boots. Upon stepping further in, she did not look around in wonder and curiosity like last time, but she certainly didn't give off any signs of comfortability in this apartment. It was somewhere in between, or she felt entirely different about coming here again. Her pace and eagerness to sit and wait for Gintoki to join her presented a woman who was ready for what was to come, wishing only to put the awkwardness aside and apologise after all that thinking in the space of a day. 

"I just...I feel like I should tell ya straight, otherwise things will feel too awkward," Of course, things were already a little awkward, even now. 

"...so...Basically, I've always seen you as a friend of mine. You know that, right? Ever since that incident with Jiraia I felt like I should stop carrying all of my burdens alone and ask for help. I thought I could rely on you. But...". Tsukuyo paused. Right now she was in a state of "getting on with it to move past this". She hesitated, thought for a moment, and let out a sigh. She looked up, finally watching Gintoki as he sat next to her on the edge of the sofa. 

"I...I eventually realised that my resolve weakens around you, and that I can't be my strong, independent self whenever you extend your hand out to me". 

"It's...natural to feel a little weak, but it's nothing to be ashamed of". 

"It's...not that". Of course. Of course there was more than an apology. He should have seen it coming from a freaking mile away. "There were plenty of signs that told me I was being stupid..and that I should look the other way, but your words touched me and the feeling kept coming back. Then something else came up...Seita asked me recently how I honestly felt about you. It shocked me at first, but then he lowered his head and started saying that he wanted you to be happy and like whoever you wanted to like. Apparently he heard a phone conversation between you and...someone whom he assumed to be a lover of yours". Gintoki grew tense for a second, but relaxed ij acceptance of those words. 

("So he heard that..."). He thought to himself. He wasn't angry, of course. If Seita heard it, then he heard it. Nothing could be done about that. 

"But...the way you spoke to them, Seita thought that you were speaking to a guy. Now...This part of me...This stupid, selfish part of me wished for him to be mistaken. But then I thought back. When you walked me home a while back, when we talked on the phone and I asked you to look after Seita, when we were at dinner, when we played the Game of Life...I felt a little insecure. You had this look on your face like you were in deep thought, and I couldn't help but imagine it. As much as I wanted to believe otherwise, that look on your face told me what I didn't want to believe. I don't know how I feel about you exactly. I was always so persistent to give up things like romance and love, but...Around you I end up acting like any other girl and I feel like I'm getting swept away. So...So tell me right now if I was wrong; if you aren't dating anyone or if you don't have feelings for someone else. Either way...I wanna figure out the next step. Even if it's a woman or a man whom you like...I think...I think I can move past this and I can be me again". 

This was quite serious-clearly. In a matter of minutes, Tsukuyo poured her heart out to Gintoki and admitted that she had feelings of some sort towards him, as much as she wanted to deny it. If he wasn't dating anyone, he wondered what she would do. What the next step would be. Would she go on to figure out her feelings and tell him "do you like me?" "Can we give it a shot?" Something along those lines. But Gintoki was already dating someone. And the truth was that his feelings were not mutal. He would have to set this straight, but first... 

"What're you saying? No matter your feelings, you'll always be the same person, Tsukuyo. It's your true feelings, and it won't hurt to express them, as embarrassing as they can be sometimes". 

"...". 

"But...I have to say sorry...I can't return any feelings that you may have for me. It's the same with Sarutobi". Tsukuyo was already aware of Sarutobi's feelings, so it didn't come as a surprise that she, too, was mentioned. 

"Is it because you're dating that other person?" 

"It's not just that. I've seen you and Sarutobi as buddies, always. I know I made sexual jokes, which I should apologise for, but the truth is I cherish you both as good friends. But...". 

"But...?" Gintoki had paused, and thought carefully about his next words for a few brief moments. There was no choice in the matter. This was the best way to set things in order. 

"...The thing is, I never really saw that guy as a good friend". 

"That guy?". 

"Yeah. Whenever we met, we would always fight and get into stupid arguments over god-knows-what. He's short-tempered, violent, competitive and persistent to the very end. But, for some reason, he understands me more than most people do". 

"...! So...You really are dating a guy. Hah...Who'da thought?" 

"...I never thought I could say this so casually, y'know. It always shakes me up to admit to the people I trust the most...that the pervy, sadist, nurse-loving Gin-san is dating a guy". 

"It is pretty surprising...". 

"It's funny...I don't think I could ever have a relationship with a woman that's anything beyond an attraction or friendship, yet with that guy my resolve weakens-whether I Iose my cool or I let my guard down. As much as I have fun with the people I call friends, buddies, acquaintances...With him, it's a kind of fun I've never really had before. I lose myself in whatever we're doing and I get swept away by him. Right now it's almost as if I miss those things...As if I...miss him". 

"...Gintoki, are you...Would you say you were in love with this person?" 

"I wouldn't...put it that way exactly. It's nothing like that, I just...It's hard to explain...". 

"I see...To be honest, I'm kinda disappointed, as much as I wanted to push these weird feelihgs of mine away. However, this also puts my mind at ease". 

"Hm? How so?" 

"Isn't it obvious? We can go back to being buddies; you and I. And I'll be sure to support you guys, but you'll have to let me meet him someday". 

Tsukuyo's expression changed. She smiled faintly, her gaze kinder as she actually looked at Gintoki's face. Gintoki smirked, leaning back on the sofa comfortably. 

"...Hm. You seem okay about this, more than I expected. Alright, then...You can meet him, and we can all be pals together". 

"I'm...actually quite glad. Really, Gintoki. If you're in a happy place, then the least I can do is step aside and support you. After all, you've done so much to support me, and everyone else. No matter how I lived in the past, I know I can rely on you without feeling weak and powerless". 

"...Tsukuyo...". 

"...Now, when can I meet him? It might be a little awkward, seeing as he's a guy, but...". 

"Well...Ah...Crap". 

"What is it?" 

"I'm not sure if he's coming back tonight". Tsukuyo was a little confused by this, having not heard the story about Hokkaido, but she smiled and chose to be supportive anyway. 

"I'm sure he will". 

"...How can you be sure?" 

"Trust me. I'm sure you'll see him soon". 

She couldn't be certain of that herself, but the support was greatly appreciated. Tsukuyo stood up and headed for the entrnace to once again see herself out. 

"Oi, you leaving already?" 

"Yep. I said what I had to say, and I got my answer. So...This is where I leave you and this guy alone. I'll...talk to you later, alright?" 

"...Sure. Definitely. See ya around, Tsukuyo...and thanks". 

"See ya, Gintoki". 

And that was that. Tsukuyo left with a whole other expression of relief and a bit of happiness on her face. Gintoki listened as her heels tapped against the floorboards outside, growing more and more distant. In the end, that really was the end of it. He had sorted out the mess with both Sarutobi and Tsukuyo, lifting a heavy weight from Gintoki's shoulders. Now all that was left was to recieve news on Hijikata's situation. Tsukuyo, although unaware of his situation as a whole, was sure that he would come by tonight. Gintoki sat back on the sofa and listened to the silence. He thought back for a moment, realising that Tsukuyo wasn't the only one who poured her heart out. He said so much, rambled on about his attachments to Hijikata. He said all that stuff, and he meant it. He fucking meant all of it. Every last word. Feeling a little embarrassed, Gintoki shut his eyes and tried to block out his owns words from before. It was no use, however. His brain and his heart were on a totally different level, emotionally. Leaning his head back comfortably, eyes closed, Gintoki listened and drifted off gradually. He waited, and waited, wondering if Hijikata would really come back. He asked for it. In his mind, to himself, where no one else could hear, he asked for his return. He really wanted it... 

... 

The silence had gone, interupted by this quick and steady thudding. Gintoki's eyes shot open to a darkened apartment. Shit...he fell aleep. Tired, but not exhausted, he rubbed his eyes and leaned forward to get his bearings. In the midst of that, the thudding occured again. In his groggy state, Gintoki didn't fully recognise the noise. He didn't even recognise the time of night at the moment. It took its time until he registered that it was, in fact, the door being knocked. With a heavy inhale of air, followed by a long and heavy exhale of breath, Gintoki stood up and wandered over to the door to answer it. He didn't realise the time, how late it was, how long he had been sleeping, and the inevitable possibility that the person behind the front door was... 

"...-...!" He answered, his mind a blank, his body frozen still. Upon seeing that face, he couldn't possibly believe his eyes. 

"Hey...I'm back". 

"...Hi-...Hijikata...". 

The same serious expression, only with dark circles under his eyes and a bed head. This was most certainly Toushiro Hijikata, back from Hokkaido with his packed bag in hand, most likely wearing his police uniform still. But his appearance gave off diffierent characteristics that suited Gintoki best, and it was surprising to see him in such a state. Hijikata smirked a little when Gintoki's expression remained the same for a few seconds more. 

"Hm...What's with that look? I told ya I was planning on coming back today, so here I am. I'm back". Gintoki woke himself up, stepping back a little to take a good look at Hijikata as if he hadn't seen him in years before sighing and smirking a little himself. 

"Welcome back...Man, you look like shit. Did you sleep at all?" 

"On the train, but it wasn't exactly comfortable". 

"Ha...Well, um...I guess I'll run a bath for you, maybe cook some food and...then...". 

Hijikata stepped inside the apartment, ignoring the front door as he carelessly dumped his bag to the floor. He approuched Gintoki as they remained standing in the entranceway, his facial expression dropping into a more serious one as he moved in. Swiftly, Hijikata ran his hands around the nape of Gintoki's neck and his head before leaning in without any hesitation. His eyes closed, and his lips soon met Gintoki's in a single second of eagerness and impatience. Gripping Gintoki's hair, Hijikata indulged in a moment of pleasure that had been missing for nearly two weeks. 

Gintoki stood frozen as his brain attempted so desperately to catch up to the rest of the situation. Of course his body would react first as his nerve systems were set ablaze in the heated moment. The very sensation was soft, moist lips and the smell of cigarettes put Gintoki in a very brief state of panic, his reaction being to squeeze his eyes shut and allow Hijikata to...indulge. Clinging to Hijikata's arms was another reaction. Yet, he soon found himself relaxing even when Hijikata pulled away by a mere inch and provoked Gintoki to take a breath before tilting his head in the other direction and pressing his lips to parted ones. Sliding his tongue past them, Hijikata acted dominant and wasn't intending to give Gintoki much time to breathe. Gintoki's hands wrapped around Hijikata's back and slid downwards as his fingers tried to grasp on to his shirt. 

Gintoki, in particular, had a heaving chest. This resulted from the long-awiated excitement and pleasure, beginning like this; holding eachother, circling their tongues around the other as well as conducting a little harmless exploration of the hands. The kiss was wet and hot, that being more evident by the end as they parted lips and allowed heavy breaths to escape from their lungs. Unconsciously, Hijikata leaned in a little and brushed his nose to Gintoki's, staring into his eyes longingly. He had yearned for this moment. Honestly, they both had. 

"Gintoki, haa...Can we...I mean, do you want to...go to the bedroom?" 

Goosebumps rippled across Gintoki's arms and the nape of his neck. He smirked nevertheless, shifting away the loose strands of Hijikata's bangs that covered those piercing eyes. 

"You don't have to ask". He murmered, choosing this moment to rest their foreheads together affectionately as he cupped Hijikata's warm cheeks. 

They stared into eachother's eyes, and the same feeling occured at that moment. It was the feeling they both got on the night of their very first kiss. It was like this. They stared into eachother's eyes, capturing the beauty of colour in their minds, and how they shined. Despite the dark circles, shunning them, Gintoki saw how pretty Hijikata's eyes were in this dim light. Leaning in again, tilting their heads in opposite directions, Hijikata moved in and pressed his lips to Gintoki's once more. Only now it wasn't as deep and merely presented their affection for eachother. Immediatly after parting once more, Hijikata placed several kisses across Gintoki's cheek and jawline before his arms wrapped around Gintoki securely, and they hugged, embracing every bit of warmth and safety that the other had to offer. Rubbing soft circles into Gintoki's back, Gintoki running his fingers through black locks, they remained like this for a short while. It was a nice, warm, comfortable security blanket; a hug. And subtly, calmly, patiently, they pulled back and explored once more with their heads bowed, foreheads together, hands meeting in the middle to be grasped. Gintoki gave a little smile and met with Hijikata's pretty eyes again. 

"Come on...". He whispered, letting go of one and gripping the other to pull Hijikata further in towards the apartment. No more waiting... 

... 

The room was dark, almost pitch black if not for the lighting of the lamps stationed on the end tables, either side of the bed. Gintoki was comfortable being on his back, being showered with kisses from Hijikata. Clothes were stripped and thrown carelessly to the floors on their way to the bedroom, leaving behind a trail of shirts, a jacket, a pair of pants, socks. It was ignored for this. Gintoki shut his eyes, swerving his head to the side as Hijikata slicked and lapped up his ear. It provoked a few heavy breaths and a few soft moans, but nothing more. To take their time was to relax and make each second count. Already their hearts pounded and they both grew nervous after forebearing this, waiting for the real thing to occur once they were alone together. Turning his head again, meeting Hijikata's sweet gaze and the tip of his nose, they met again in a kiss. Their cheeks flushed red. 

"...Haah...". 

Soft breathing, soft lips, a soft little gasp once their kiss parted. The sound was wet, almost spine-chilling, this period of the night more exhilarating than either of them possibly expected. 

"Ha, you look excited...". Hijikata murmered, pushing back Gintoki's wavy hair from his flushed face. 

"Don't point out, haa, the obvious. Yeah, I'm excited, but so are you. We haven't done this in nearly two weeks, after all. Hell, I hadn't even seen your face in that long...". 

"So you have missed me". Hijikata sounded a little happy, but was also a little mocking as he exposed an impish smirk that earned him a light slap to the forehead. "Ack...! 

"Don't word it like that, moron". 

"Ahh...You know, Gintoki...I was thinking a lot while I was gone. And I thought back to the time when you asked me if I missed being with women. That time I never really gave you a proper answer, so I'll say it now". 

"How come you're bringing this up now at a time like this?" 

"Hear me out, alright? The truth is that I don't miss being intimate with a woman as much as I simply miss spending time wth you, the person whom I'm dating right now". 

It came as a shock; those words...So softly spoken yet so serious and meaningful. What was he thinking? 

"H-huh? Wha-...What're you saying? Did you recite that or something on the train?" Gintoki couldn't hide his embarrassment, averting his eyes away from Hijikata's overly-serious face as a red blush came across his cheeks. 

"I know it does sound cheesy and rehearsed, but I mean it. I feel strange; like a total moron for working my ass off just to come back here sooner. Even if I worked all-nighters and barely got any sleep, I wanted to solve the case properly and come back here to see you again". 

"Uh...! You really...". Gintoki averted his eyes again, covering his mouth and quietly refusing to look back at Hijikata's face. But, not long after, he retracted his hand and allowed it to fall by his head. Gintoki's eyes drifted back, looking into Hijikata's. "I'm glad...". He murmured. "I'm glad...you came back sooner than expected. But you shouldn't have to push yourself so hard for me, you idiot". 

"Yes, I did. A lot of the time I was there, I kept thinking over the smallest moments I spent with you, and it was driving me crazy how much I wanted to see you. I swear to god...". 

"You...You really are stupid. A really stupid bastard, you know that?" Gintoki ran his fingers through Hijikata's hair, around the nape of his neck to pull him in and press their lips softly together. Once parting, he managed a mocking smirk. "If you spout shit like that, people'll get the wrong idea". 

"The hell are you talking about?" Hijikata panted across Gintoki's neck, planting kisses and flicking his tongue as he gingerly reached further and further down towards Gintoki's waist. 

"Haah...!" Gintoki thrust his head back, fidgeting and moaning as the pleasure coursed around him in shudders and pleasant goosebumps... 

"I mean that you're the most fun to be around, no matter what it is". 

"Hiji-...Hijikata, w-wait you idio-...!" 

"While I was gone I thought back to a lot of our dates and I realised...". 

Gintoki was arching his back and allowing his voice to break through in sensual noises as Hijikata touched and explored, placing kisses over Gintoki's neck. 

"I can't act like that in front of anyone else. But don't get the wrong idea...I just look forward to those things, especially now that I'm back and I get to see you. Gintoki...". 

"N-not-ah Sh-shut up already you-...!" 

Gintoki's legs slid in opposite directions, his toes curling and clinging to the bedsheets as his hands desperately gripped Hijikata's shoulders. 

"Gintoki...I missed you". 

"Ua-Hijika-...Ah...Haah...". 

Hijikata words were almost blanked out, which he didn't mind. But upon retracting his hand, Hijikata was utterly surprised, and then mocking once more. 

"Hey...You're not backed-up or...Hah...Should I assume you missed me too from this?" Ginoki was flushed, but kept a cool head and smiled as his breath escaped him. 

"Haha, you got me...Damn, that's...A really embarrassing way for you to find out". 

"Impatient, were you?" 

"Shut up...You woulda done the exact same in my position". 

"...Probably". 

A smile was shared, a moment of bliss thrown into the air and showered around them like a fluffy cloud evaporating into the sky above them, it's remnants drifting down upon them. Reaching out to eachother, Hijikata grasped one of Gintoki's hands and locked fingers while Gintoki reached up with his free hand and cupped Hijikata's flushed cheek. Yet another kiss, another mark to begin the next step to fufill this night after waiting for so long. There was absolutely no holding back. If there was it would be due to their pain threshold or the rasping of their panting as they tried to catch their breath. Once, tonight, was not enough. 

... 

It felt good... 

"Haa! Haa...!" 

So good... 

"Hijikata...!" 

They were intertwind in sweat, heat, and incredible bursts of pleasure that went on for long periods of time that shortened every round. From behind, to the side, to behind again, the front, on top. For the majority of the time, they held hands and moaned the other's name without shame or too much embarrassment. By now, Gintoki's legs ached from being held up and wrapped around Hijikata's bare waist again and again. But his arms still clung on to his nape, his eyes watering as he was losing the ability to think straight. 

"Gintoki...Does it feel good?" 

Moments of ecstacy went by even with simple kisses and touching. The experience itself was more affectionate and intimate, going over everything more than once until they were both satsfied. 

"Uh-...Uh-huh...It feels rea-...Really goo-d...!" 

They clung to eachother, holding eachother's hands, showering eachother with kisses and sweet nothings like an ordinary couple would do. They didn't know what that was exactly, but even so they went with the flow and assumed that their way of expressing affection and intimacy, despite being who they were, was ordinary but still special, in a weird way. Reaching their decline of energy was when they were close to their final peak in the sauna-like bedroom, atop damp bedsheets that stuck to their backs. They were reaching the end this time. 

"It feels, haa...It feels good for me...t-too! Aah...Gintoki...!" 

Both bodies went limp in and instant. Hijikata collapsed, exhausted but blissful and satisfied. Gintoki, with whatever energy remained, pushed back his hair and sighed heavily. Raising his head, Hijikata rested his chin to Gintoki's heaving chest and listened to his racing heartbeat with a faint smile. Sweat covered their bodies and faces, sticking their hair to their foreheads. They were so tired; too tired to do it again. 

"No more...I can't do anymore, Hijikata. I'm, haah...I'm empty...". 

"Me too...I don't have any more strength...". 

Even still, he had the energy to shift his body, moving up by Gintoki's side before collapsing back on the matress. They could both say that, however many times they did it, they had a very passionate and amazing night together with their hands intertwind, their lips bruised and moist from kissing and nipping, their bones and muscles worn out, their lungs heavy. The smell of sweat hung in the air around them, and the dampness of the bedsheets was something anyone would complain about. But they were both equally too tired and too happy to move. 

"You okay...?" Hijikata asked, managing to turn his head to face Gintoki. 

"Mm-hm...Never better...I just need to get some shut-eye, though. Being in your late twenties is a pain in the ass...We're too old for this". 

"But you look quite happy". 

"Of course I'm happy. I never went that many rounds before, not even with feelings involved. It was...amazing". 

"Yeah...Really amazing".

For a while, they stared into eachothers eyes. Hijikata reached out and just managed to grasp Gintoki's hand, caressing the skin with his thumb. It was a sweet gesture, but wasn't taken too seriously...by either of them. 

"Let's...cool off and get to bed. I'm exhausted...". Gintoki sighed, closing his eyes. 

"Good plan. We can always clean up tomorrow morning. Tell me if anything hurts, alright?" 

"Sure, sure...Man...I don't wanna budge". 

"Like you said: cool off before we go to sleep. And let me know if you need any help getting into bed". 

"Pssh, it'll be fine. You worry too much. Just..gimme a minute. I need to...Hahh...I need to...". 

Gintoki let out a yawn and his eyes went glassy for a moment, right before he allowed his eyelids to fall and close. Hijikata stared for a moment longer before sighing heavily. 

"See ya tomorrow, Gintoki...". He muttered, reaching out to adjust Gintoki's bangs of silver hair. 

Pulling down a spare blanket from the headboard, Hijikata draped it over their bodies and snuggled in a little closer. As Gintoki slept, just watching him look so peaceful, Hijikata felt himself grow increasingly worn out and sleepy. He too closed his eyes and listened to Gintoki's soft breathing. It was a little distracting, but that was clearly out-weighed by his desire to fall into a deep slumber. Hijikata was comfortable here. Although it wasn't his bed, it was always familiar and made for a good place to sleep without any trouble. He finally felt like he was at home and his time off after such a long investigation was finally over. Back to normal. Whatever that was... 

... 

... 

"Gin-chan~, you home?"

"Gin-san...?" 

Gintoki had heard the key rattle in the door for precaution, only for them to be shut down since the door was already unlocked, the apartment already occupied since that morning. Shinpachi entered with Kagura at his side. Their eyes both met in the same place, their curiosity peaking in a singular moment that puzzled them both. 

"Hijikata-san? Your back...". 

Hijikata sat in the living room, seemingly reading a book. He was relaxed and sat back, but upon hearing Shinpachi call out to him he looked over his shoulder and greeted them both. 

"Hey, kids. Yep, I'm back. Good to be back...". 

"It's good to see that you've settled again. Where's Gin-san?" 

"Right here". 

A hand was raised from behind the sofa, but Gintoki was out of sight. Only in a matter of seconds did Shinpachi and Kagura process that Gintoki was lying down across the sofa with his head using Hijikata's lap as a pillow. 

"Seems like those two were flirtin' this whole time. I'm gonna put my stuff in the laundry, so I'll leave you to it, Shin-chan". Kagura slapped Shinpachi's shoulder as she walked towards her room, sleepover bag slung over her shoulder. 

"O-oi! Leave me to what?! Cleaning?! We agreed you'd help! Don't get so easily put-off just because Gin-san and Hijikata-san are-...Kagura-chan!" Shinpachi chased after her into her room, probably intended to persuade her to help with cleaning. 

Gintoki didn't lift himself up from Hijikata's lap, a volume of Jump sprawled open on his chest to a random page. He looked up to Hijikata's serious face and smiled a little. He was so focused on his book. How cute. 

"Say, Hijikata, I invited Tsukuyo and Sarutobi to come and meet with us sometime. I can finally introduce the guy I'm dating to them". 

"That's true. When is this?" 

"I haven't secured a date yet. Not until I know when you're off from work next". 

"I'm off right now". 

"Yeah, but you're spending today with me so it's a no-can-do". 

"...That's fine. We both need to rest anyway. I'm a little unsure on how you're going about that, though". 

"Oh, hush. This is cosy. I mean, your lap is so soft and squishy. I could lie here all day and watch you read with that serious face of yours". 

"Only you would say something so brazen". 

"You embarrassed...?" 

"...". Hijikata didn't say a word, his cheeks red, his focus shifting away from the words that filled the book in his hands. 

"Want me to move?" 

Hijikata looked down at Gintoki's face with his serious expression remaining. He sighed, running his fingers through Gintoki's hair, petting his head almost like he would a cat. 

"No, it's okay. Stay put. You look...quite comfortable, and I know your hips still hurt. So...don't move if you don't want to". 

"Thanks...". 

Gintoki closed his eyes and smiled peacefully. It was stuff like this that he missed while Hijikata was gone. Even the most quiet of moments were remembered clearly, echoing in his mind like a good dream. But he would say that if Hijikata ever went away again, he would be able to hold himself together a little easier without losing patience. He had realised himself that not having Hijikata around wasn't all bad, but the time he spent with him were fun and, at the same time, were intimate and affectionate. It wasn't like how close Gintoki was to Shinpachi and Kagura. That was on a whole different level; like a big brother to his younger siblings or a mentor with a shitty attitude, but a reliable and trustworthy way of thinking towards a couple of no-good students who brightened up his life with stupidity and fun. With Hijikata, though, Gintoki had opened up a whole other gate into his heart. He had shown several sides of himself that he had never shown to others. For it to be Hijikata, Gintoki felt estranged from his regular cool and collected self who refrained from showing his emotions-the ones that were locked away deep within his heart. But he had revealed them on several occasions to Hijikata, and he felt like it wouldn't end there. He admitted to missing his presence during these past two weeks. How much further would it go from there? God only knows. Gintoki could only imagine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hol-y Shit this fanfic' is reaching whole new levels. Writing this chapter has forever made my love for Hijikata x Gintoki stronger. (I do still ship Gintoki and Tsukuyo don't judge me, but that's for a whole other fanfic that I hope to write in the future) Damn I love writing this.
> 
> Also, I didn't intend to have Sarutobi or Tsukuyo act as obstacles getting in the way of the main relationship (Like all yaoi and shounen-ai have whether its a woman or another man). So sorry if anyone got mad about their intereactions with Gintoki and whatnot. Drama is still drama, as realistic as I TRIED to make this. And I know there was way more depth in Gintoki's interactions with Tsukuyo than Sarutobi (If anyone cares). I still love Gintoki and Hijikata's relationship, if not a lot more now that I got a chapter like this written and out of the way, because it was bound to turn up at some point. 
> 
> Haa, anyway, thank you very much for reading. Sorry if it seemed to drag out a little or if the pacing wasn't all that smooth. I had that feeling, but I'm not sure if I anyone else felt the same way.


	24. First Experiences Occur Mostly During Adolescence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I inevitably finish this fanfiction, I'll feel an emptiness that I have never felt when writing. It'll break my heart. Truely. It will.

The ache in Gintoki's back was hard to bear with his clothes stained in navy blue paint, as well as his arms and spots on his face. This work was a pain in more way than one but he couldn't do much about it since he and Hijikata had already started. After weeks of questions about the spare room that once held Gintoki's vast collection of fiction and Jump comics, he finally caved in and made the effort to pick out new designs and furniture for the room. Of course he didn't do this alone despite the fact that it was his apartment. The room itself was for Gintoki and Hijikata originally; a place where they could act like they were actually dating even when the two kids were around. A sanctuary, if you will. Together they had a few ideas on what to display and what furniture they should add. Of course Gintoki was a little less helpful, even if it was a room in his apartment and he had the idea to make it into a place just for them, only for them. It took about a day, and the most they got around to agreeing on was the colour of paint for the walls.

Disregarding the paint already spread over two quarters of the room, the floor and the old bookshelves to be moved and possibly thrown out were blanketed in brand new, white sheets. The stench of paint filled the room at one point but was cleared out when Gintoki wisely decided to open up the window. A cool draft blew in and acted as quite the distraction with hundreds of goosebumps covering their arms and legs under their loose clothes. The draft was heavy, the sheets spread out on the floor fluttering softly like a current, or like bedsheets hung out to dry. The sky was clear and the silence was long. Focusing on their own walls, both Gintoki and Hijikata had nothing to say for once. Whether they would normally be arguing or conversing about the simpler things, the silence felt out of place. Gintoki was the first to notice it as he looked over his shoulder and gave a little smirk when seeing how hard-working Hijikata was. He could no longer take the work. He needed a break, and so did Hijikata. 

"Oi, Hijikata-kun~...". Gintoki stretched his arms up to relieve his aching back, only to reveal how tense it really was from constantly bending over to roll his roller into the tray of navy blue paint or when having to stretch quite far, near to the ceiling. "Wanna take a break already? We've been at this for way too long. I wanna rejuvinate and relax before Gin-san gets scoliosis or something worse...". 

"Gintoki, I don't think your back pain is that bad. But, I do agree. A break couldn't hurt". Hijikata took a breath, bending his back to lay down his brush in his individual tray of paint. He sighed, running his fingers (that were stained with dried paint) across the nape of his neck. "Haah...I think we're getting too old for this". 

"Says Mr I'm-a-martial arts-master-and-I-do-yoga. C'mon, ya can't be as tired as me. I spent most of my job sitting on my ass in front of a laptop. I'm sure there are plenty of kids who wanna do that for a living". 

"Yeah, but I don't think many kids have the patience to write novels like you do". 

"Let's go already. If I recall there's some strawberry milk and mochi ice cream in the kitchen. They're really soft and chewy and so...sweet...". 

A string of drool somehow managed to escape from the moron's gaping mouth as he imagined the very taste of ice cream mochi that he recieved the other day. As he recalled, it was a gift from Sarutobi to congratulate the two on their relationship, although when she first met Hijikata the jealousy burned in her eyes. She fought strongly though, acting polite despite understanding that Gintoki and Hijikata had all sorts of action in the bedroom. One could only assume that those thoughts raced through her mind in jealous fit. Gintoki could assume at least. The good news was that she was quite supportive no matter her feelings within. She was still happy for them, as was Tsukuyo. Gintoki's thoughts side-tracked, but the string of drool remained hanging from his chin like melted ice cream. Hijikata was apathatic to Gintoki's stupid face, sighing as he voluntarily wiped away Gintoki's drool with his thumb. From the sudden pressure sliding across his chin, Gintoki's eyes focused and he swerved his head out of the way. 

"A-anyway, let's get going. Kagura isn't here, so there's no way she coulda dug her way through them already".

Treading through white sheets in their socks, Gintoki led the way through and into the main room. Without Shinpachi and Kagura around, the apartment was quiet. At least when Gintoki and Hijikata weren't fighting. Parking their rears comfortably one the sofa, right after a short trip to the kitchen, Gintoki held in his hands two cartons of strawberry milk and an ice-cold box of mochi ice cream in a variety of flavours. Hijikata hesitantly took the strawberry milk carton as Gintoki happily pierced it with the straw. 

"I'm not a big fan of strawberry milk, y'know". 

"Don't be picky. It's calcium, and calcium is good for you. Now drink up, 'cause it'll give ya a boost of energy". 

With no other options before him, aside from a pot of coffee that sat at the far end of the main room, in the kitchen area, on the counter, Hijikata pierced into the carton with the straw. With his back in the sore state it was Hijikata couldn't find the energy to stand up after just sitting comfortably. So he accepted the strawberry milk despite feeling a little awkward. Gintoki, on the other hand gave up on the straw within seconds. He tilted his head back, gulping down the strawberry milk through the pierced hole, where the plastic straw used to be mere seconds ago. He would regret it later; throwing away the small straw to gulp down milk, of all things. If he got a stomach ache, Hijikata refused to be the one to say "I told you so", therefore he said nothing at all and continued to sip his own drink, effectively avoiding a stomach ache and possible nausea. 

"Haaa...! So good...!" Gintoki leaned forward again, exhaling and exclaiming words of pure joy. He sat back once again and opened up the box of mochi. They came in varies colours and flavours, and were something to look forward to. "Haah...Hey, lemme feed you one". 

"H-huh? Uh...No, thanks. That's okay". 

"Don't be shy. I'll give ya a vanilla one". 

"There isn't even any mayo on it". 

"And?! Mochi is too good for your weird addiction, weirdo. Now open wide and say "ahh~". I mean it~". 

Gintoki brought a vanilla mochi to Hijikata's face and expected him to really open his mouth. Hijikata hesitated, naturally keeping his mouth shut. Gintoki waited, giving a little smile. 

"What's the matter?" He asked, retracting the mochi a little. "Don't you trust me?"

If he didn't, would he let you do all those things to you, Gin-san? Everything? Yes, Hijikata trusted him. But this sort of thing...To be honest, it didn't seem like much of a big deal. It would be a little embrassing, but somehow Hijikata got the notion that feeding Gintoki would feel just as embarrasing. That sort of thing was a turn-on for that guy, especially if it involved being fed something sweet. Regardless of the embarrassment and the added blush that crossed sweet Hijikata's cheeks, he parted his lips and shut his eyes. The sweet was brought to his lips gently and he did the rest; taking a small bite and chewing the soft mochi outer layer and soft, cold ice cream within. A soft, almost inaudible, chuckle came from Gintoki. Upon opening his eyes, Hijikata witessed Gintoki reach out to wipe the ice cream from Hijikata's lips. Retracting his hand back, Gintoki licked his thumb and then his lips. 

"You looked pretty cute just now, squeezing your eyes shut. Just the look on your face was so precious...". 

"Is it fun for you to say this shit out loud?" 

"If I get a nice enough reaction. C'mon, though. You really are cute when you're embarrassed".

"How can you say things like this so casually?" 

"Because it's the truth, du-mmy. Now, open up again. Can you say "ahh~" for me?" Gintoki was grinning, aiming the half-eaten mochi to Hijikata's lips once more. 

The way he spoke remained monotonous. He didn't make his voice higher to sound cute or teasing. He was acting like himself, wearing that goofy grin. The embarrassment swept over Hijikata like a tide and he lost the will to protest or resist as the mochi came closer and closer. Although he didn't conform to Gintoki's wishes for an "ahh~", he still opened his mouth and allowed Gintoki to place the sweet on his tongue to be chewed and finished. Gintoki inched closer, swiping the base of his fingers over Hijikata's stained lips. Out of self-respect and pride, Hijikata pushed Gintoki's hand away, licking the ice cream off himself. 

"Really, Hijikata-kun, you're such a messy boy". 

"Will you shut up already? Anyway, you didn't have to feed me at all". 

"I already told ya that I think you look cute when you're embarrassed, and I knew this would embrass you. If ya wanna make us even, then feed me next. Ahh~". 

Gintoki opened his mouth and closed his eyes with very little expectations from this. Hijikata's hand smacked into his face, covering Gintoki's mouth and nose. 

"No way". Hijikata gave a simple protest. 

"Why not?" Gintoki didn't sound that upset anyway... 

"Because it won't embarrass you, so it won't make us even, idiot". 

"What? 'Course it will. I feed you, and you feed me. We'll be even". 

"You really...!" 

This was the moment when Hijikata would be prepared to get angry and defensive towards Gintoki. His brow was furrowed, a vein was popping in his head and Gintoki was already having fun watching his every reaction. But as things were about to get interesting, and possibly violent, the front door opened and in came Shinpachi and Kagura. Even after a long day of school, they entered the apartment in a good mood with Sadaharu running to Kagura's side, barking and batting his paws as he wished to lifted from the ground. 

"Sadaharu...!" She greeted her puppy, smiling, receiving lots of kisses (licks that smelled like dog food) on her face from Sadaharu. 

"Gin-san, we're back". Shinpachi called out, slipping out of his shoes. "Are you guys done with the-...". But he stopped, his smile disappearing as Shinpachi...poor, poor Shinpachi witnessed two grown-men in the position to start tackling eachother like two kids play-fighting in the backyard. 

They locked hands, staring eachother down; Hijikata bearing an irritated and ready expression of pure anger while Gintoki clenched his teeth in a grin, although his eyes were determined. Were they seriously going to fight again? What happened to painting the spare room? 

"You guys, what're you doing? Are you fighting again?" 

"Don't act like our Mom, Patsuan!" Gintoki called out, although his eyes were focused squarely on Hijikata. "And this isn't a fight. Not at all". 

"Then what the hell are you doing?! Come on...The quicker you get the room painted, the quicker you can both relax, right?" 

"Sure, Mom...". Gintoki mumbled, letting go of Hijikata's hands. 

"Fine, fine. I wanted to finish it as soon as possible anyway". Hijikata added, retracting his hands in unison. 

"We're gonna go finish the room now. I'll come back to make dinner soon, so sit tight, kids".

Shinpachi was the first to let out a huge sigh, watching those two, covered in paint, head back into the spare room together. Entering the apartment, walking to the far end, to the living room, Shinpachi kneeled down in front of the coffee table and set down his bookbag. 

"Honestly...Their relationship is kinda confusing, huh, Kagura-chan?" 

"It's the way they are. All adults are weird; Gin-chan told me himself". Placing Sadaharu back down onto the floor gently, Kagura untied her hair from it's ponytail and allowed her hair to fall to her shoulders. "I'mma go change and head out later, right after dinner". 

"Wait, where the heck are you going?" 

"Out. A boy from class asked me to go to the arcade with him today, so I'm going to go meet him". 

"Eh?! A boy?!" 

"Uh-huh. I have friends that are boys, although they're mostly dorks and dweebs". 

"Eh...So you're friends? Nothing more?" 

"Hm? No? Why? If I was, would you cry? Would you be jealous that I became someone's girlfriend before you got one, aru?" Kagura wore a sinister grin. The kind that Gintoki would show in his more "sadistic" moments. 

"Wha-...No way! The only girl I love is Otsuu-chan! Don't try to wind me up with comments like that!" 

"You're pitiful to watch, Shinpachi. Gin-chan is practically in love with Ketsuno Ana, but he's dating Hijikata-san. And the Mayora is in love with Mayo but he's dating Gin-chan, see? Man up already and get a girlfriend. It's annoying when you lay around the house, complainin' cause your character is too boring for any girls to be attracted to. Not all girls are shallow like that. Gin-chan will probably advise you to get out there too". 

"Eh? Look, Kagura-chan, I appreciate it but I'm not gonna look for a girlfriend or anything. I mean, it's a nice thought but I don't really...um...". 

Shinpachi was a little flustured. In all honesty, he wasn't very confident in himself and he had the notion that girls often ignored him because he had a boring character. He put most of his love and affection for Otsuu, and although there were many guys (otakus) who crowded around during her concerts and stunk up the entire staduim to watch her perform, she loved her fans regardless of character or appearance. In Shinpachi's eyes, for a long time, he always placed his love for Otsuu-chan because he could be at a distance and still support and love her, whereas in the real world, outside of the concerts and autograph signings, girls were the ones who kept their distance. As much as Shinpachi dreamed of the day when he would find a girlfriend, he soon began to distance himself farther and farther from the very thought of going out with someone. Being self-aware of his own boring character Shinpachi believed that he didn't stand a chance. 

"Geez...Shinpachi, isn't it only human to go find someone when you feel lonely, aru? Isn't it normal for boys to try and find a girlfriend, aru? It's not like we'd force you, but it's kinda depressing to see you so lonely all the time. If you have no confidence, talk to Gin-chan and he'll give you the boost you need". 

"Kagura-chan...Heh, y'know, it's funny...These days you're starting to sound a little bit like Gin-san".

"What do you expect? I live with him. He tells me to clean up after myself, when he's a bigger slob than all of us. Tch...". 

"I, er, think you're going off-topic a little. But...I dunno...I suppose I could try to get a girlfriend. But to ask Gin-san...I don't think he's ever been in a serious relationship before". 

"Who said anything about being serious? Honestly...I don't really understand this stuff, but I think you should still ask Gin-chan. Even if he's not dating a woman, he's dating someone he likes and cares about. He won't say it, but I'm sure everyone has caught on by now that he really likes that nicotine guy-a lot more than he's admitting ". 

"I...suppose you're right". 

"Of course I'm right, ya moron. Now leave me be so I can change outta this uniform. I've got places to be, unlike you". 

Still as rude as ever. Kagura was not one to change her attitude, no matter how much she matured. As Kagura headed for the stairs, grabbing the box of mochi from the coffee table as she went, Shinpachi gave a sigh and, after a few seconds of contemplating the decision to get advice from Gintoki, he caved in and decided to act on it. Although knowing well enough that Gintoki had as much experience with dating as someone like Okita or even Otae, he still had experience. He was currently dating someone where there were feelings and intimacy. It would be difficult to find anyone else, aside from Hijikata too.

First step was to get their attention and ask for any advice they could provide. Although it was a decent idea, the further Shinpachi walked to the door where Gintoki and Hijikata lay behind, painting the walls of that very room, he felt more and more embarrassed, thus more and more uncomfortable and reluctant to open his mouth. Still, laying around the house while silently complaining about forever being the boring glasses character who never gets the girl...This wasn't ideal at his age. Most boys tried to get into a relationship, so perhaps Kagura was right. Maybe Shinpachi had to put himself out there instead of waiting around, even if there was hesitance or fear of rejection. Those things were normal-no matter who you are. And if he needed a confidence boost on relationships, why not ask the closet couple that he knew? The only couple he knew... The determination struck him like a thick boot swinging towards his ass as he burst through the door. 

"You guys! I need your advice on-...". The figurative boot swinging at his ass froze, as did he. In fact, Shinpachi was the only one to freeze in place and stare without a single word to describe this situation. 

"Bastard! Stop swinging your brush at me!" 

"You started it, moron!" 

Like a couple of kids with a bad case of ADD, both grown-men were swinging their paint brushes at eachother as they shifted away from their task to paint the rest of the goddamn room. They caught eachother every now and then with splashes of paint, their expressions both irritated and elated when successfuly splatting the other with a blotch of paint anywhere on the body. The droplets of blue liquid barely touched the walls as it flew into the air and splattered across the covered floor. 

"Ack! Okay! Okay! I give up! I give up!" Gintoki put his hands up, brush still in hand as he pulled an innocent look. Hijikata pointed his own brush to Gintoki, waving it, pointing it too the floor in small gestures. 

"Then put the brush down...". 

It appeared to be a relief that they were stopping after what seemed like a short period after they entered the room. By the looks of things, Gintoki started it and was the one who quickly wanted to end it. But knowing Gintoki... 

"Okay...Relax Hijikata. It was for a bit of fun, no need to-hyaa!" Gintoki thrust the paint brush towards Hijikata, smacking him across the cheek. Cupping his cheek, coveing his hand in the wet paint across his skin, Hijikata wore an expression of pure rage. 

"You...asshooooole!" He launched forward, shoving Gintoki to the floor and landing on top of him. Violently and relentlessly, Hijikata smacked Gintoki with the paint brush many times, over and over. 

"Ack! Ow! Owowowow! Okay! I get it! I definitely give up! Owww! Hijikata, quit it or I'll shove that brush so far up your ass that you'll start seeing blotches of blue paint everywhere! Shit! That's what's happening to me!" 

"Serves you right!" 

"What the hell are you idiots doing?!" 

Shinpachi finally called out to the two fully grown morons for their dumb play-fighting. Looking at stuff like this, they didn't look close at all. They looked like a really weird couple who prefered fighting over hugs and cuddles. Which, incidentally, suited them perfectly. Shinpachi, with yet another sigh, wondered quietly to himself whether this shit was worth it or not if he was forced to ask those two for dating advice, of all things. 

... 

A steamy fog filled the bathroom and diluted streams of paint swept across the floor beneath the shower head before flowing down the drain. To prevent the paint from staining their hair, it was agreed that both Gintoki and Hijikata would share until it was all out. Gintoki groaned and grumbled as he rubbed the frothing shampoo against his hair and scalp to rid himself of the paint stains that managed to get in his hair. 

"Dammit...This sucks, this sucks, this sucks! This is just as bad as getting treated for hair lice!" 

"I doubt it". Hijikata objected, wiping himself down with a washcloth. "Treatment for head lice hurts. It burns your scalp and scorches your eyes if it gets anywhere near". 

"And you know that how?" 

"Sougo got head lice in middle school because he hung around a few girls who got it. He was unlucky, but I suppose it was karma since he used to put dead insects in my futon". 

"Tch, what a brat. He still hanging around girls?" 

"Only because he can't stand being around the guys at his college. Apparently they stink up the place. Now, hold still while I wash your back". 

"Oi, there's no need for that. Lemme just wash my hair and everything else that's covered in paint". 

"Moron. You should wash everything before soaking in the bath. Now be good and sit still". 

Hijikata grabbed a clean wash cloth, wringing it out under the shower head before coating it in soap. Gintoki waited patiently, although reluctantly, as he pushed back his wavy bangs in order to prevent the shampoo from getting in his eyes. 

"So...". Hijikata murmured without focusing too much on the conversation as his hands worked on cleaning Gintoki's broad back. It was as if his mind decided to go back a few steps to what Shinpachi said before, and share his thoughts with Gintoki while they had some privacy. "What do you think about this? Spectacles...I mean, Shinpachi looked quite serious when he asked us about...y'know...". 

("You guys...Could you give me advice on approuching a girl and...dating someone?") 

"I dunno...That kid shouldn't have to ask for stuff like dating advice. If he wants my advice-really-then I say he should grow a pair and be patient. Although dating is a nice idea, it's always worth it if you establish a friendship and get to know the person first". 

"Since when did you believe that?" 

"I don't. It just seems more like common knowledge, something you should do instead of jumping into the fire and getting burned 'cause you had no idea that the girl you liked is crazy, or is bitchy or is actually a lesbian. That'd be embarrassing for him". 

"Then tell him that. Although I'm a little cautious to do so sometimes, I try to advise Sougo as much as I can. He's an adult, but that doesn't mean he's fully mature. I made a promise that I'd take care of him no matter how much of a brat he is". 

"Hmph...That's really something. If he knew that, I wonder how he'd feel". 

"...He wouldn't want to accept my help". Hijikata's voice was low, and serious, despite Gintoki's tone prior to that as he smiled and secretly admired Hijikata's endurance; the endurance of dealing with that sadist's shit day-in and day-out. "But Shinpachi is different. Now that he's asked for it, I doubt you have much of a choice as his guardian". 

"I ain't his guardian. That's a job for his sister-who's of age. But it's not like a woman as young and inexperienced as her can help him when it comes to things like relationships. 'Course, I'm not all that knowledgable either. But...I suppose I should offer him what I can if he can't understand what it means to have some confidence".

"I think that's normal, though". 

"Mm...Normal, huh-woah!" 

Cut off, vision blurred, nostrils inhaling a small collection of water as a whole basin of it was dumped on his head. He coughed, pushing back his bangs and glaring over his shoulder angrily. 

"Wh-what the hell was that for?!" 

"What? I needed to rinse the soap and shampoo. Don't start complaining. It's better than the paint. Look, it's all out". Hijikata presented clean, wavy locks with his fingers sliding through damp hair. His fingers came out clean and traces of shampoo covered the base and got under his fingernails. Gintoki pouted. 

"Still, you coulda at least warned me...". 

"Why do I need to do that? You didn't warn me about hitting me with your paint brush, now did you?" 

Grumbling under his breath was childish, but Gintoki saw a huge, huge difference in surprising someone by running a paint brush down their back, and dumping a basin of water over their heads without warning. Incidentally, without warning, Gintoki faced the unpleasant sensation of water shooting up his nose as he accidentally inhaled it. So when it came down to it, Gintoki thought back to the real child in all of this. It was still him, having started their fight with paint and paint brushes all for the sake of shifting from their job-which was to paint the spare room by the end of the day-and have a little bit of so-called "harmless fun" that led to this. To this. Having to shower and wash all the shit out of their hair, thus receiving a warm basin of water crashing onto Gintoki's head to wash off all the shampoo. The situation itself made them both feel stupid and childish when looking back on it, especially when two kids occupied the apartment as of now. 

Gintoki kept quiet, his brow furrowed, his irritation focused mainly on himself. But he could pretend that it was Hijikata's fault and move on like adults. Yeah. That sounded better. 

... 

An apron was best suited to Hijikata. Standing in the kitchen, with such a straight face, wearing such a domestic-looking apron, the sleeves of his sweater rolled up; the image as a whole was really something in Gintoki's eyes as he stared with a faint smile, his chin resting against his knuckles. The smallest details create a perfect image, that Hijikata was very fitting to the apartment as he stood in his bare feet, wearing an apron borrowed from Gintoki, cutting up vegetables for dinner. 

"Gin-san, I thought you were going to make dinner?" Shinpachi wondered, glancing over to where Hijikata stood, occupied in his own activity and blocking out the conversation at the dinner table. 

"I was, but then Hijikata said it was his turn and that, apparently, he didn't mind cooking if he got my permission to use the kitchen. I wasn't gonna turn him down, seeing as he was quite insistent". 

"Shut up. I wasn't that insistent". Scratch the previous statement; Hijikata was not, in fact, blocking out anything. He could hear every word, his eyebrow twitching at the thought that Gintoki displayed some sort of smirk when he said that. "I only said that it was my turn to cook and I asked for permission to cook in your kitchen, since we were here to paint the spare room anyway". 

"In any case...Thank you very much, Hijikata-san". Shinpachi was his formal self in front of Hijikata. His ability to loosen up and be comfortable around Hijikata was still lacking. 

"No problem". Hijikata reply was monotonous, his eyes focused on preparing dinner even then. He didn't bat an eye, as though he was used to being complimented for his cooking. And it wasn't difficult to guess where all of those compliments came from in the long run. 

"So, Shinpachi, wanna talk about this now? I'm sure you've been dying to know about my vast knowledge on dating and dates and whatnot". Gintoki, hand still supporting his chin, took a sip of the freshly made coffee-also prepared by Hijikata-after getting on with the topic at hand. Shinpachi was caught off guard at first but then quickly proceeded with his questions. 

"Ah, alright. Is it really okay, Gin-san? I mean, I understand that you don't have a lot of experience, but you're the only two I can ask. So, can you please give me some advice on dating someone? O-of course, I'm not looking for the love of my life-because that role will always belong to-". 

"Otsuu-chan. We get it. Move on". 

"Don't say it like I've already said that a hundred times over, you jerk!" 

"Ah...Well, y'see, this is kinda a pain. At my age, especially with my experience, I don't really know about teenage romance or anything. So all I can tell ya about is the kinda dates Hijikata and I go on. That mostly consists of ramen places, bars, dinner at nice restaurants and love hotels. You kids...Let's see...The first things that come to mind are cinemas, family restaurants, maid cafés, shopping malls and...love hotels". 

"Wait a minute! Why the hell did you add that in last?! That's an adult kind of date! You literally just said that a moment ago!" 

"What're you getting so worked up for?" Was Gintoki's calmly conveyed question as he stuck the tip of his pinky finger into the deep regions of his ear. "It's not unusual for kids these days to try and act all grown-up by going to a love hotel, or the parent's house with no parents to do things like fool around or have sex. Even if you're too young to drink, you're not too young to have sex, are you?" 

"I'm not even talking about that! Don't just change the subject as you see fit because you don't wanna give me advice!" 

"I really don't...Explaining all that shit about "being yourself" and "getting some confidence" and "waiting for the right person" is a pain in the ass. If there's one lesson I learned during my youth, it's that when it comes to the opposite sex, you cannot be yourself. You'll have to be someone else instead". 

"What sort of message are you trying to convey?! This is wrong! Who teaches this?!" 

"I do, 'cause it's the absolute truth. People expect to find the perfect person someday without the slightest notion that perhaps that person doesn't exist in real life. They forget that everyone shits, everyone farts, everyone has bad habits, everyone makes mistakes, everyone has one or two bad qualities and everyone has really ugly genitals". 

"What's with the last one?!?!" 

"Shinpachi, have you seen a dick? Like, really seen it? For some reason, there are women or men who look at a dick and think of it as the most beautiful thing in the world, but the truth is that something that's hidden between your legs is hidden there for a reason-same goes with women. Although in the long run it's something that gives you immense pleasure, the truth is that they are ugly body parts. Now the ass and boobs...That's a whole other story. I mean, when you don't think about the dirty stuff, asses and breasts are great. Their round, squishy and fit well in the hand. Plus, if ya use your "Gintoki Jr." downstairs, it-". 

"I don't wanna hear iiiiit!" Shinpachi thrust his fist to Gintoki's face as a last resort to stop him from saying anymore. The impact sent Gintoki's head crashing into the surface of the table, his nose a mess with crimson blood pouring from the nostrils. By that point, no one could be sure if Shinpachi's fist did that, or Gintoki's crude imagination. "All you've talked about is sexual stuff! And I don't wanna hear it, you perverted bastard! Just please, I'm begging you, tell me what you know about dating! Want me to get on my knees and beg?! I'll do it! I'll do it if you stop talking about indecent things!" 

Shinpachi was livid, beet red up to his ears in both embarrassment and anger. Gintoki groaned, raising his bruised face from the surface of the bloody table, cupping his hand over his nose since the bleeding would not stop. 

"Ah...Owowow...F-fine, I'll tell you what I can...Man, that hurts...Why do I have to put up with this? I'm not even that experienced-and it's not like I have much to say...Aack, fuck...My face...!" 

Swiftly flapping a dish towel once in hand, Hijikata approuched Gintoki and bent forward a little for more reach. 

"Move your hand, I'll deal with it...again. No matter what it's from, I'm always the one to clean up your nose bleeds, huh?" 

"Don't talk crap. It's not my fault I'm prone to these things. Back in high school, I used to get nosebleeds for no reason at all-ouch!" 

Gintoki flinched, his face scrunching up. When attempting to swerve his head away from Hijikata, his chin was grasped firmly and brought back to a position where their eyes met for a moment, and Hijikata could continue to clean up the mess. 

"Sorry, but you have to stay still. Did that hurt?" 

"Yeah, it hurt. But it can't be helped, since I know how gentle you usually are with me". 

"Don't say things like that in front of Shinpachi". 

"Hey, I wasn't thinking of anything dirty. You think too lowly of me...". 

Before Shinpachi was two men; one being Gintoki Sakata, who was like a big brother to him. His duty was to advise Shinpachi as best he could, although he was perverted and often seen as a useless old man who complains as much as the next natural-permed degenerate. Then there was Toushiro Hijikata, Gintoki's...intimate partner, you could say. Although Shinpachi barely knew him, he appeared to be the voice of reason in their relationship. Gintoki had more experience, but Hijikata understood things like love. Together they were a mess most days but in some cases, when in front of Shinpachi or anyone else whom they were close to, there was always a glimmer of what a real, emotionally and physically bonded, couple looked like. Without the fighting and silly arguments, they were two people who had a special connection together. Shinpachi saw this, and he was almost immediatly inspired. 

"Hey, Hijikata-san, is it alright if you join us? I could use your opinion too. See, I don't really know much about dating, or girls, or anything like that. At my age I see plenty of people going on dates and stuff, but I always focused on my love for Otsuu-chan so I tried not to think about it. And I'm just wondering if I should...try it; to go out with someone. But I dunno the first thing about that stuff". 

"...Me neither". Hijikata answered rather bluntly as he tossed the stained dish towel in for laundry. "The only thing I know about dating-and I mean actually dating someone-is with this guy". Hijikata patted Gintoki's shoulder at that, although it would have been perfectly clear who he was talking about without the use of gestures. "The thing is, if we were to give you advise, we could only tell you one side of the argument. I mean, we've only been dating a guy for the past five months. We act a certain way, do certain things, and we're happy like that. Women are different, y'see, but if you want help then just ask questions and we'll help. At your age, finding yourself a nice girlfriend couldn't hurt. Forget about your "love" for an idol for a moment and consider dating a woman closer to home. Understand?" 

"Y-yeah...".

"Be realisitic: if you think that finding a girlfriend over supporting an idol is like cheating, then you really need to wake up and smell the coffee. Kids these days have a really weird way of thinking when it comes to their interests". 

"Mm-hm...". Gintoki hummed in agreement, adding on to the conversation thereafter as the thoughts and the curiosity flooded to mind. "Ah, right. First of all, is there any girl at school whom you like? If so, that makes this a little easier-unless she's already got a boyfriend or whatever. Go on, you can tell us". 

"Ah...Well, I...wouldn't say there's a girl I particularly like, but there are a few girls whom I've spoken to and I think are sweet and smart...I don't think any of them have a boyfriend either". 

"Good, good". Gintoki nodded along. Hijikata sat at the table with them, waiting for the food to cook properly for the time being. "So, tell us about them, ask questions. Whatever it is, we'll give ya a hand'. 

"Says the guy who was unmotivated to do so only minutes ago". Hijikata murmured almost spitefully, but honestly. 

"Shut it, you". Was Gintoki's quick reply. 

"Ehh...I'm trying to remember off the top of me head here-Oh. I know. There's a girl named Teruko Ikeda. She's quite pretty and I know she's smart, seeing her grades in exams, so far". 

"Alright. That's a good enough start. What else is there?" 

"Well, I know that she's a member of the archery club at-". 

"Pass. There's no way". 

"Wh-...Eh?...Wha-...Why not?!" 

Gintoki previous enthusiasm and interest slumped back down to a point where he had quickly given up on Shinpachi, like his chances of a relationship crumbled down to zero after only one example. Hijikata was the same, surprisingly. 

"Although he was rather blunt about it, I'll have to agree with Gintoki". 

"Hijikata-san...". 

"Honestly, Patsuan, what the hell would you guys talk about? Archery? Otsuu? By the sound of things already, you've got nothing in common". 

"All I said was that she attended the archery club...". 

"And? What are ya gonna do to gain her attention? Join the archery club? As if! That won't impress a girl unless you're passionate, and an otaku like you has no interest in sports. If you join the club without any passion in the activities, she'll probably only see you as a beginner, or a friend if you're lucky". 

"Seriously...?" 

"Trust me, Patsuan...It's not worth it". Gintoki uttered those words with a serious look and a serious tone, crossing his arms and leaning back in his chair. "Girls like that are outta your reach". 

"Is there anyone else whom you might like?" And so they move on. 

"Let's see...Ah, there is another girl who's quite bright and reliable, too. She's organised and is a great dresser. Her name's Yoshi Kawaguchi, and she's in the student council-". 

"Nope...". This time, Hijikata spoke up to express his discouraging opinion. "You may not know this, but people who do student council work are constantly busy, and won't have any time to spend with you. So unless you want a relationship through apologies via text and e-mail, I suggest forgetting about it". 

"Yep, yep. I'm surprised you knew that, Hijikata-kun. But, he's right. Girls like that grow up to be very dedicated to their job and end up marrying an incredibly content guy-someone who's happy to stay at home and watch the kids while getting no affection or sex for the rest of his life. Do you want that? Do you want to live that nightmare, hah?" 

"N-no, no I don't. So can we move on?" Only after listening to their opinions on two girls, without really knowing them, Shinpachi felt more and more discouraged by what these guys were saying. "Well, there is this one girl-". 

"Nope...". 

"I haven't even said anything!" 

"I got a hunch that it won't work and you'll be miserable if you try going out with her. Seriously, you'll get whipped". 

"How is that a hunch?! That's a whole hypothesis even though I barely said anything! Fine, what about-". 

"Not gonna work". 

"Why Hijikata-san?!" 

"Seems like you're scraping the bottom of the barrel now". 

"You idiots are the reason for that! You're the reason why I have to scrape the bottom of the barrel!" 

"Okay, then how about-". 

"Why the hell are you making suggestions?! I don't wanna hear suggestions from you, Gin-san!" With the discouragement and terrible advice crushing his back like cinder blocks on a thin fort of sticks, Shinpachi collapsed forward with his forehead hitting the table as he fell into a state of loss, conceding to the reality that he may not get a girlfriend if he listened to these two. "I give up already. I'll miss out on dating and relationships for now...Maybe I'll meet a nice, mature girl in college or university who'll be just right for me, or maybe not...Maybe I'll switch to asexuality, that'll give me a good excuse for spending the rest of my life as a virgin". 

Shinpachi's voice was low, weak, devoid of energy. Staring into the abyss that was the surface of the table, his enthusiasm (if it existed in the first place up until this point) was gone and it wouldn't come back unless his big brother figure provided the boost that he so desperately needed right now. Hijikata was one to back out when needs be. Patting Gintoki's shoulder subtly was when he stood to his feet and walked back to the stove and counters to finish cooking dinner. Gintoki watched him for a few short seconds, and then he himself gave up and decided to get straight to the point. Being frank and direct was a specialty of his, after all. 

"...Shinpachi, listen to me". 

"No way...". 

"Listen. It's a lot harder than it sounds, but all you really need is some confidence and the patience to get to know a girl first before even thinking about dating one. I believe that friendships should be strong, but in some cases the relationship between a boy and girl may have something else slip through the cracks. For instance, you can see a whole other side of that person and you grow attached to it. They may grow to like you, or you can end up liking them. But if either face rejection, then so what? That's life". 

Peering up, eyes on Gintoki, Shinpachi was...The feeling was indescribable. He was anxious, definitely. He knew that there weren't many girls who would fall for a guy like him. In fact, he doubted that such a girl existed. But Shinpachi wanted some sort of hope that he could experience dates and romance at his age and in the future. If someone simply got to know him better, then perhaps they would like him more based on personality. He clung onto that microscopic hope, and he clung on tightly for the time being. Gintoki was actually supporting him here, but that's all he had so far. 

To go out with someone...It couldn't hurt. In fact, it was a nice idea. After watching Gintoki and Hijikata's interactions-without the fighting-Shinpachi knew something was missing, that there was something like that out there for him, someday. No matter how many girls were out of his league, there had to be that one angel, who appreciates the straight-men in shounen series. There had to be. 

"Go do your best, Patsuan. And be patient. You never know when a potential romantic interest will show up out of the blue. I didn't exactly wish for mine, after all". 

At those words, thise final words, Gintoki stood up from his seat and made his way towards Hijikata. Peering over Hijikata's shoulder as he prepared a side dish of gyoza dumpings, Gintoki calmly took one in advance without any arguments from Hijikata, taking a single bite and uttering a thank you for the food. Their eyes met for a moment, and Hijikata gave a suggestive look that said "And?", bt more seriously than he might have intended. 

"What? It's good. I'm surprised you didn't add mayonnaise, though". 

"Why would I do that when I know you don't like it? Although, you're missing out". 

"Pff, yeah, you keep thinkin' that. But, no, really. It's delicious". 

"It's not even the main dish". 

"So? Side dishes are just as important in an average japanese meal as the main dish, and just as delicious if ya cook it right. So, kudos for that". 

"...Thanks. Now get the China Girl down here, 'cause it's almost ready". 

"I don't need ya to tell me that. What are you, my Mom?" Gintoki turned around, although his arm remained around Hijikata's waist. "Kagura~! Get your ass down here! Dinner's nearly ready!" 

Her bedroom door burst open in an instant, and her footsteps thumped against the hardwood floors in a hurry as she enthusiastically claimed her seat at the dinner table with her hands slamming down on its surface. All eyes were on her for a moment, bewildered by her usual behaviour. Yes, this was normal yet it was still amazing for a small girl like her to have a stomach like a black hole. 

"Uh...Gintoki, are you gonna-...?" 

"Yeah, I'll...I'll set the table, sure". 

"Ah, I'll handle the rice cooker". Shinpachi got up from his chairto handle that. 

As if the previous conversation had never happened, or was simply put on hold, the atmosphere changed to something that could only be described as domestic and comforting. After all, this was a rarity for all of them to sit together at the same table. From the kitchen counters, all three boys could hear the low growling of Kagura's stomach. 

"Oi, Kagura, did you eat lunch today?" Gintoki asked. The immediate regret came from the notion that she might of, and asking that question didn't matter at all. Either way, Kagura's hunger was relentless. 

"Of course I did. The Mayora made a bento for me this morning, before I went to school". 

"Eh? You...You did...?" Gintoki was astonished, but then furrowed his brow at Hijikata's immediate response. 

"Yeah, I did. I don't see why not. I used to make bentos all the time when I started high school. I already knew how to cook, since I was a child, so I got used to them. There were only a few of us who attended school, including Sougo, so it wasn't too taxing. "Kids should eat proper meals to grow up and evolve from being brats"; That's what I always told Sougo". 

"You really didn't have to do that. She should learn to make her own lunches-that's what I did when I was her age. I even did double the amount of chores that she did". 

"Hah, that's surpising". 

"Meaning what? I work hard, you bastard. When I put my mind to it, I can do anything". 

"Then could you help serve dinner? I only have two hands". 

"You...! Augh, whatever. I'll help...sunuva...". Gintoki words trailed off into incoherent curses under the breath. Serving a couple plates to the table was nothing yet he complained due to Hijikata's snarky comment. He had to get used to those quickly. In fact, Hijikata was probably learning to be more witty and snide because, well, Gintoki was witty and snide. His attitude came back to bite him in the ass... He sat down at the table with evryone else and brushed it off to settle the atmosphere. And when clapping their hands together, saying thanks for the meal, the atmosphere was set, despite Gintoki's lingering irritation. 

... 

Kagura had gone. Shinpachi was about to leave himself with a polite good-bye and a quick thank you for the earlier advice-or at least their attempt to provide such a thing. Gintoki was the first to sit back and relax with his feet parked on the coffee table. His thumb tapped through the television channels on the remote at a fast speed, clearly indicating that he had a specific channel in mind without bothering to click the correct numbers on the pad. Hijikata, too, sat back and watched as the channels were changed repeatedly until Gintoki's thumb finally stopped moving and he threw the remote beside him on the sofa cushion. Not that Hijikata cared, but he half expected the weather report to come on. Not tonight. Only a repeat of a drama episode came on. Gintoki must have missed it the other night. 

"Hey, you think he'll be okay?" Hijikata asked this out of the blue, eyes affixed to the televsion screen. Gintoki slid his pinky finger into his nose, shrugging. 

"Who knows. I hope he'll listen to what I said about starting a friendship first and stuff. These days, you never know what people are like. If you end up going out with someone based on looks and an outward display of their personality, then it could lead to trouble". 

"Heh, you say that but we're no better. We started dating without knowing much about eachother". 

Gintoki flicked the tip of his pinky. His expresion was serious, but at the same time he smirked and radiated interest in those words, prepared to contradict them. This was a good one. Here it comes, Gin-san. 

"I suppose. But the thing about me and you is that...Before we started dating, we already knew the bad things about eachother and yet we started going out. That meant, after accepting the filthiest habits and qualities between us, we had a chance to get to know all the good things, too". 

"...". Hijikata stared, astonished and taken aback. He, too, smiled faintly in a matter of seconds. "How long did it take you to come up with that one?" 

"I thought of it now. Pretty smooth, right? Charming, right?" 

"Yeah, yeah, you're pretty charming. Is that one of your good qualities that I have yet to find out about?" 

"Oi, you-...You're really mean, you know that? I say something nice and then you think lowly of me. I can be charming, y'know". 

"I...Heh, I'm kidding, dumbass. I'll admit that you do have your good qualities. When it comes down to it, you...are quite charming, in your own way". 

"That's more like it. And you're...so cute". 

"Why did I get called something like that?! You're supposed to one-up a compliement not the other way around, idiot!" 

"But you are cute. And smart, and good-looking, passionate, you've got a good head on your shoulders...". Gintoki brushed his knuckles over Hijikata's cheek, smilng faintly. "You have qualities that I don't have, and I guess the same goes for me. So we're even". 

"...Right. A-anyway...Do you-ahem...Do you think that kid will get a chance to date anyone?" 

"Sure he will. He's just gotta have patience and a back bone. One day he'll walk down the hallway at school, or in the street and, eventually he'll meet someone. Probably won't be the love of his life but kids need experiences at a young age, especially during adolescence, when they're teenagers. Teenagers do a better job of making mistakes, and most learn from them over time. If he meets someone and likes them, then he has a chance to gain more experience. If he gets his heart broken in the end, he'll learn from it. No doubt about it". 

... 

Meanwhile, their conversation went on and the streets grew empty around Shinpachi, not a sound stirring in the environment around him. He exited the automatic, sliding doors of the convenience store with a plastic bag in hand. Stuffing his change into his pocket, his hand remained buried within as the cold of autumn struck him like a gust of wind in winter. But there was barely any wind that evening, only the cold air that would give anyone goosebumps. 

"Geez...Why's it so cold already?" Shinpachi murmured to himself, lucky to know that no one else was around. "It's only autumn and yet...". 

He stopped walking. That's all there was to it, aside from the reason for his tardiness-that being the case since Otae was coming home later from her part-time job and she didn't have a key after it was lost in a grate, just outside their apartment. He had a key, he knew when Otae was coming home, yet he stopped out of chance and curiosity when spotting a girl up ahead. As a bystander, unknown to this stranger, Shinpachi didn't have to get involved. Yes, he thought this; jumping ahead of himself as he registered this girls mood and position in mind, trying to solve the case as to why she was sitting alone on a bench, her back slumped forward, her head lowered, her hands covering her face that could possibly be stained with tears. It was none of his business, yet he wanted to know. That sounded awfully creepy. It was none of his business. He could go home. It was none of his business. He began walking. Not of his concern. That sounded cold, but he wasn't responsible, there was no need to get involved. Closer and closer he passed his girl who seemed to be more devastated the closer he got to passing by. It was none...of his business. Shinpachi's heart throbbed, hearing a sniffle. None of his...It wasn't any of his...His...business. 

Shinpachi stopped again. Immediatly he felt the guilt of walking by without a word crush him and beat his conscience to a pulp. Biting his bottom lip, clenching the plastic bag in hand, he considered continuing down the path to his apartment. But, unfortunatly, Shinpachi felt it was his duty as a bystander to at least ask if she was alright. His feet turned at a 180°, and he cautiously walked towards the girl. His shadown cast over her slumped body, and already he struggle to muster up a sentence here. 

"U-um...Are, er...Uhh...Are you...a-alright?" He said it. 

My god he actually said it. He made the leap, jumped into the fire and asked-with a stammer-if she was alright. The embarrassment of talking to a girl like this flooded within his stomach like butterflies drowning in a river, desperately flapping their wings to get out. The very image nearly brought up the flood in vomit. The girl appeared to have frozen in place, slowly raising her head to lay eyes on this stranger whom toom the time to ask if she was okay. Her eyes-red and glassy-were wide for a moment, shock across her features before she immediatly looked down at the ground in...disappointment? Her face was visible still, although her eyes focused on the ground. She sat up a little, her posture moderately straight after slumping for who-knew how long. She cradled herself, and thus leading Shinpachi's eyes to the crest on her uniform. Uniform...That crest...She was a student at his school. He would have recognised it right away, had he not been captiviated by her tear stained face, feeling melancholy for the girl, wondering what she had been through up until now for her to be by herself in the street, crying. 

Her face was what caught his attention from the moment he saw it. Of course he couldn't admit something as outgoing as "she's pretty". The idea of thinking that in her state felt wrong, and thus he put it out of his mind. Red hair. She had red hair that fell around her face and down to her shoulders, curled and messy as if a hair band was swiftly pulled out. Whether by force or not, that was unclear. Her eyes, behind the red under them and the tears that continued to well-up, were amber and glimmered in the evening light. She was...pretty. But now was not the time to think like that. 

Altough anxious, and ignored thus far, Shinpachi didn't want to leave things in an uncomfortable place. And by the look on her face, this girl was already uncomfortable and embarrassed after someone saw her cry and practically confronted her about it. And then he felt uncomfortable and embarrassed; acknowledging that very fact evident on her face. 

"Ah, sorry. I was just...N-nevermind, I'll leave you alone if that's what you want...". 

He felt stupid, and thus walked off without seeing the girl perk up her head and stand to her feet moments after watching his back as he walked away, respectfully and with an apology. 

"Um, w-wait a moment...!" Her shaky voice called out to him while she rushed over, and halted right behind him. Shinpachi turned around, caught off guard as the girl stood there, visibly trembling, tears continuing to slide down her red cheeks. "I...I'm sorry. That was very rude of me...I-I didn't, like, mean to treat you as a creep or anything. I just didn't expect you to approuch me like that. By the sound of your voice, I thought you were...someone else". 

"Is that...so? Um, well, I just...wanted to make sure you were okay. I-I know it's none of my business, but-". 

"N-no, it's really okay. I'm fine. I just...I had a rough patch with someone, and it didn't work out. I walked out in tears and...here I am, crying like a loser". 

"There's...nothing wrong with crying if you're hurt". 

"Yeah...". The girl sniffled, wiping away her tears with her hands, wearing a faint and almost forced smile. "Um...My name is...Atsuko Nakano. And you're...Eh? You're Shinpachi..Shimura, right?" Now there was a surprise. 

"How do you...know my name?" 

"You're the leader of the Otsuu fan club at school. Everyone knows who you are, since you're the most obnoxious club leader we have". 

"Aah...I'm...obnoxious, you say...". 

"B-but, I...I don't think so. I think...it's good to be passionate about the things you love". At that very moment, Atsuko's tears stopped and she once again averted her gaze to the side with a faint smile remaining across her small lips. Shinpachi was flustered, silent, amazed by this girl's simply choice of words to convey something so sweet.

"Uh...". 

"Um, well, anyway...I feel...a lot better now that I've spoken to you, Shinpachi-kun. I'll...see you at school tomorrow". 

"Huh? Oh, yeah...sure...". She... 

"Thank you very much. Really... Good-...Good-bye". 

Slowly, anxiously, Atsuko walked past Shinpachi and waved nervously from a short distance away. He watched her go in utter amazement, believing this to be luck. God had given him a break. Even if they talked for mere moments, Shinpachi felt responsible for stopping that girl's tears. The feeling in his chest was warm and tight, a similar feeling when cheering for his most cherished idol: Otsuu-chan. That girl...He barely knew her, yet acknowledging her smile-a smile directed towards him only-he felt...different. He wondered if she was it. If she was the person he could get to know better, and maybe...Maybe they could...become friends... 

... 

At around seven o'clock in the evening, the apartment door opened and a rather weary "I'm home~" rang out at the entrance like a broken alarm bell. Without turning around, Gintoki greeted Kagura from the sofa as did Hijikata. Taking off her shoes, Kagura walked to the far end of the main room, towards the living room and flopped onto the sofa with a content sigh. Like Gintoki, she put her feet up on the coffee table and leaned back. 

"What's up with you?" Gintoki asked, eyes still affixed to the T.V. 

"Nothin' much, but...I think...I think I might have a boyfriend now". 

"Oh, good...Now you can live contently like the rest of us. So, how did that happen?" 

"You don't sound as doting as the baldy". 

"Don't compare me to him, ever. But if this kid your going out with is a good-for-nothing little shit, your sure as hell I'll tell him you're too good for him, even if you are a runt". 

"Humph, well, lucky for the both of us, he's actually really nice. He helps look after his Papi 'cause he's sick right now, and his Mom works. Kinda like me, but the opposite. I don't actually know if he wants me to be his girlfriend or whatever, but I'm kinda embarrassed to ask". 

"If you are like that, be careful. Even at your age, some boys only want one thing. They're animals as soon as they learn about stuff like dating and sex. So you be careful, and take things slowly, munchkin. I know the baldy would have my head ahd my hair if he knew you were doing indecent things at such a tender age". 

"It's got nothin' to do with you and the Mayora, Gin-chan. You guys are the indecent ones". 

"Oi, we're not animals. And we're grown-ups. It's different. If you really are dating this guy, I'd better give you some lessons on men and how to deal with them". 

"Are you really gonna teach me, Gin-chan?" 

"Sure. Although I can't go into certain things. That kinda talk is for Shinpachi". 

"Duh. I don't wanna hear about grown-up stuff until I'm a grown-up. And, anyway, if I wanted to discuss filthy stuff, I'll talk to a female friend about it, moron. I'm gonna go to bed. I have school tomorrow, after all. Goodnight". Kagura got up and headed for the stairs without another word. 

"Goodnight, Kagura. If you're planning on texting your new boyfriend, don't stay up too late". 

"I know, Gin-chan. I won't". She shut the door behind her, and all was quiet for a moment or two, until... 

"Hey, Gintoki...". Until Hijikata spoke up in curiosity. "She's right. You don't sound as doting as you would expect". 

"It's fine. As long as the kid isn't any older than fifteen, is kind and doesn't try anything to hurt Kagura he can keep all of his fingers and toes". 

"That got dark way too quickly...!" 

"I want Kagura and Shinpachi to be safe, but at the same time I've gotta give them some freedom to make their own decisions. I'll talk to her tomorrow about this new boyfriend of hers and make sure that she'll be okay". 

"I see. I suppose you're doting in your own way. No, you...just really care about those kids, huh?" 

"Of course. I'm one of the few people who stuck around for them. It's my job to make sure they don't do anything too stupid, while also learning from their mistakes". Hijikata smiled faintly at that, and nodded briefly. Gintoki's eyes wandered to that smile and his eyebrow arched. "Oi, what's with that look? It's weird". 

"Hm? Oh, nothing...". 

"...Whatever...". Gintoki looked to the television again, but his mind went elsewhere. He scootched closer to Hijikata, draping his arm over his shoulders. Hijikata was pulled in a little more, much to his bewilderment. "What? It's cold". Gintoki barely gave much of an excuse for his sudden actions. Not like he needed to. 

Hijikata was content, although a sense of awkwardness lingered in his mind. He felt comfortable upon seeing Gintoki's more doting, fatherly side. Being around the apartment as often as he currently was, Hijikata thought he was going to see plenty of it, especially now that those kids of his were growing up and beginning to find relationships of their own. Although they were still a couple of brats, Gintoki allowed them some freedom while also watching their backs and trusting that they wouldn't allow themselves to be put in any danger. The likelyhood was that, if they were in a dangerous situation, Gintoki would do all he could to intervene and keep them safe. Sounded like a father to Hijikata...although he didn't know what that word meant himself. This must have been what a father looked like... 

... 

Kagura's hair had definitely gotton longer. Since the beginning of September, the strands had grown down to her shoulders. She sat on the living room floor with Gintoki sitting right behind her, running a hair brush between each strand. He had said to her-promised, in fact-that he would tie her hair up more often before she went to school every morning. Up until he met Kagura, Gintoki knew nothing about putting a hair in a braid or twin tails or even a ponytail. Having Kagura around meant he was forced to teach himself how to tie up a girl's hair. With a calm expression, no level of frustration or impatience, he began to circled two sides of her hair together to make a braid, twisting the stands around eachother along to the end. It took some time, though, so a bit of conversation would definitely help Gintoki's vast array of thoughts come to a halt, speak his mind and get it over with. 

"So, you wanna tell me about this boyfriend of yours? What's he like?" 

"Hm? Oh, uh...He's in my class at school, and we had lunch together a few times. Although he's kinda awkward, he's actually really nice to me". 

"Just to you or to everyone? Or to every girl that walks by?" 

"How come you're so curious anyway?" 

"If I learn that he might try anything that goes beyond the reaches of just hurting your feelings, I'll have to have a little chat with your boyfriend. 'Course, he might end up being your ex- when I'm done with him". 

"You worry too much, aru. He isn't like that. In fact, I'm the only person he talks to at school since no one else wants to be his friend. I just never expected him to ask me out yesterday". 

"Hm...Maybe you shoulda stayed friends. If you go out with this kid, and it leads to heart-break, I doubt your relationship will be the same. It could be too awkward to talk to him". 

"I think it'll be fine. He didn't say "I love you" within the first hour that we started dating, so it's all good. But...does this mean that I'm his girlfriend now, aru?" 

"If you wanna call it that, go ahead. But be careful, alright? You never know what goes through a young man's head when he's with a girl he likes. It could be anything, really...Right. I think I'm done here". 

Gintoki backed away slightly, examining Kagura's hair that was neatly put up in a braid. Just to be sure he didn't mess up, Kagura picked the mirror that she brought from her desk, and stared at her reflection. Her brow furrowed. 

"I look like my big brother...". 

"Yeah, well, deal with it, kiddo. There only so many different hair styles that I can give you. You think I work at a salon? Now go to school already, or you'll be late". 

"Haah...". Kagura sighed discontently, standing to her feet. "Fine...". She grumbled, grabbing her bookbag from the coffee table. "I'm going. See ya later, Gin-chan". 

"See ya. Have a good day and all that jazz. Be careful, too". 

"I'll do that". The toes of her foot tapped against the floor once her shoe was on, to make sure it wouldn't slip off. Kagura then exited the apartment, leaving it silent for a few seconds. 

Gintoki stood up, too, stretching his arms up. Work had to be done, since Hijikata was already doing his job and there wasn't anything else to do. There was writing to be down, inspiration to be found at the deepest reaches of Gintoki's mind. Above all things, however, he needed a better cure for his boredom. 

... 

It was pouring down that morning. The rain soaked through the dead leaves, and had turnes the sky a gloomy grey. Parked just outside an apartment complex, across the street-a quiet street where a suspect in an online piracy case was hiding-was a police car. They had parked across the street, out of sight behind boarded up windows and away from a guy who spent most of his time in front of a computer, downloading illegal content and selling them to adults and underage minors alike. That was what the police suspected, anyway. 

The street was a dump, thus not many people passed through. Only now, when the case of black market material was being sold across Tokyo and maybe beyond that, was when the police investigated and finally caught sight of the criminal behind it all. But they could do nothing without proof. Ergo, both Hijikata and Okita were laying low, waiting in the patrol car for this guy to make a move. According to research, he was the only tenant of that small apartment building, and lived in solitude. There were different investigators asking around, but not one came to the conclusion that there was any proof. At any moment, the suspect could have caught on to police activity. But they were sure that, for the time being, they were safe. All they had to do now was wait for any signs of movement within the apartment before moving in to find proof and also make an arrest. They only had one shot at this. 

Bored, and absolutely sick of having to work with Hijikata, Okita sat back in the passengers seat. He was ready to fall asleep, rather than put up with all of this. No one had said a thing since they arrived. Not like either wanted to. Okita patiently waited for the moment when Hijikata would fuck up and lose the case like a complete moron. In a perfect world-Okita's perfect world-he was also lose his position as Vice-chief, and his job, living in a gutter somewhere until his inevitable demise. Eyes closed, Omita smirked at the thought in pure, sadistic bliss. But the reality was that those events weren't likely to happen. As much as he hated tk admit it, Hijikata was good at his job. Besides, there would be a hundred other candidates before Okita that would take on the role of Vice-Chief if anything were to happen to Hijikata. Omita would be in a measley last place, having only an apprenticeship under his belt. His smirk disappeared, and the annoyance of the job came back to him. 

"Maaan, Hijikata-san, how long have we got to sit here for? I'm gettin' pins and needles in both my legs and my ass. I've got classes this afternoon, so can we wrap this up already?" 

"Since when did you care about your classes? You just wanna leave, don't you?" 

"As sharp as a brick, aren't ya, Hijikata-san? Pff...So, how're things with Danna? You guys practically married yet or what?" 

"Don't be stupid. And it's not like it's any of your business. What goes n between me and Gintoki, stays with me and Gintoki. End of story". 

"Sounds to me like you had a bit of a fight...". 

"Haa...We didn't fight. In fact, we're doing just fine. I'm not gonna explain my personal affairs to you, though. Not in detail, anyway". 

"Boring~...". 

"Why the hell do you care, anyway? It's not like you're involved in whatever goes on between me and him". 

"True. I'm not really into seeing two homos act all cute and disgustingly lovey-dovey". 

"Heh, you'd be surprised but we're not like that. We just...Aah, how can I explain this...?" 

"Don't bother, I get it. You guys are whatever and, honestly, I don't really care that much". 

"Hm...thought so. What abou you? Find a girlfriend yet? I'll assume you don't really care if I know or not, since it's not like you plan on dating a guy or anything, like me". 

"I guess...Nah, I don't bother with girfriends. Stuff like that is messy to deal with, especially if she falls for me or whatever sort of delusion they put themselves in. I can't deal with women seriously. Getting too close to them means that they end up having feelings for me that I can't, and don't want to, give back". 

"Quite full of yourself, aren't you? Not all women fall for the same guy, so don't think of yourself as some kind of saint, Sougo. Women have different tastes, whether they like a certain type of guy, or even like other women". 

"Well as long as they keep away from me, I don't care. For me, women are a huge pain in the ass". 

"You say that, but don't you hang out with the China Girl and Nobume?" 

"Ah, the China Girl is the biggest pain in my ass, but I can at least deal with her. It's fun to tease her and challenge her to all sorts, while still getting close to her, y'know. And with Nobume...Hmm...You think I should ask her out?" 

"I thought you didn't want a girlfriend". 

"I don't, but I'm kinda curious. Maybe she is human after all, and she might fall for my irresistable charm and good looks". 

"I doubt that. Really, I do". 

"Hijikata-san, I was joking. She's like me, she doesn't care about stuff like that and is totally dedicated to working. Stuff like dating gets in the way...No offense to you and Danna". 

"Non-taken...".

Of course neither of them were open to dating anyone, and then Gintoki happened. Now Hijikata goes on dates and experiences things like affection and intimacy on a regular basis. Okita had yet to find that for himself. It was very unlikely that he would miss out on stuff like that, although Sougo wasn't one to get attached or fall in love like other people. How he would live his adult life was up to him, but Hijikata had the idea stuck in his brain that it was his responsibility to make sure such a troublesome guy stays out of trouble and heads down the right path, whatever that may be. Everything else was entirely up to him. 

"...I have kissed before, though". 

"Pardon...?" That, when said, came as a surprise to Hijikata. Okita continued, a smirk curving up his lips. 

"I said that I've kissed before. Not like I'm totally inexperienced, but that was back in high school. It got boring after a while". 

"What, kissing?" 

"Yup. It dragged on and a couple of the girls wanted to go further, but I said no. I couldn't be sure that there would be feelings involved, on her part, so I said no. If I'm ever gonna be with a woman in that way, I'll make sure that it isn't totally serious and that she's a major masochist". 

"You're the worst. There's nothing wrong with having feelings during stuff like that. It makes the experience worth while and-Oi, why the hell am I even telling you this?" 

"Why, indeed. I dunno, I guess if I'm gonna ask for "the talk", I'll go to you. Don't take it the wrong way. It isn't outta respect or anything, I just wanna see that awkward look on your stupid face as you try to explain stuff like sex to me". 

"Sougo, I don't need to explain it to you. At your age, I'm sure you're fully aware of how it works. But...stuff like that...If there are some feelings involved, even if you just like the person, then you can call it an experience. A real experience. Makes you see that person in a whole other light, y'know?" 

"...Hijikata-san, are you-". 

"Ah! I just saw movement!" Before Okita spoke up, a curious thought coming to mind, he was abruptly interuoted as Hijikata stared out towards the apartment building. "I saw him move in there. Sougo, let's get going! Hurry!" 

Hijikata got out of the car, slamming the door shut as he made his way through the rain. Okita sighed, and followed after him. He didn't want to get soaked...Getting out of the patrol car, Okita raised up his uniform jacket and held it over his head as he walked. By then he wasn't sure himself about the question that came to mind, as if the shock of Hijikata's voice ringing in his ears had caused the very thought to slip from his mind. What the hell could he have said to those previous words? Obviously they rooted from whatever feelings he had for Gintoki, but it was odd. Okita had not seen that look on Hijikata's face since way back when. Back when Hijikata had just arrived at the dojo and got close to... It was very weird. That's all he could say, all he wanted to say. He didn't want to revisit those memories right now, especially during work in the pouring rain. He cursed under breath, already freezing cold due to the sudden cloudburts of rain. 

"Well this sucks...Hijikata-san! Wait up, ya asshole!" 

... 

The rain had continued on into the afternoon, relentless. It was possible that the storm would continue overnight. Shinpachi stood by the shoe lockers, inside at the front entrance of his school. While other's put on their shoes and exited, umbrellas in hand, Shinpachi waited for a clear sky that would probably not come. He didn't want to get a cold now, not this time of year... Kagura sent a text a moment ago, saying that she was walking with her new boyfriend or whatever. Shinpachi didn't know the details, but the very word in relation to Kagura was shocking. Watching the rain was calming, soothing even, but the thought of walking through it in order to get home sounded like nothing short of an inconvenience. The area around the shoe lockers fell silent, and Shinpachi was unsure on whether to leave and get soaked or wait a little longer. Maybe by chance the rain would stop and he could catch a break. 

He never got a chance to speak to Atsuko that day. In fact, he didn't see her around at all. As far as Shinpachi knew, she was already seventeen, although she was in the same year. Apparently she was in a different class, so seeing her at any point wasn't likely, especially if she had other friends. Thinking about it, Shinpachi was disheartened. But as he was about to give up hope and walk out into the rain, he heard it. 

"Eh? Shin-...Shinpachi-kun?" Her voice... 

Shinpachi had to turn around. Looking back towards the darkened hallways, he saw Atsuko approuch. Her hair was tied up, and her make-up was perfect. She had called out to him, smiling a little when he turned and faced her. Waiting there, waiting for the storm to end, was a blessing in disguise. Because now he was left alone to speak to Atsuko even if it was mere small talk to pass. Or maybe not. It was much better than that.

"Atsuko-chan, you're...Wait, why are you still here? I thought everyone went home by now". 

"I was about to ask you the same thing. I didn't bring an umbrella with me today, so I went into the clubroom for a spare. Did...you forget, too?" 

"Huh? Oh, y-yeah. I'm kinda embarrassed about it now, since it did look quite cloudy this morning". 

"I see. Um...W-well, if you'd like, I could...We could, er...". Atsuko's cheeks turned pink within her hesitant, stammering state. Shinpachi was also speechless, unable to comprehend her expression and why she looked that way, why she acted so cute in front of him, of all people. Thinking about it, his cheeks flushed too. "We could...share this umbrella, if you'd like". 

Atsuko approuched further, taking the single step down to the shoe lockers with her umbrella in hand. She smiled, but her eyes stared down at the ground bashfully. He couldn't understamn...Why him? Why not a main character-type like Gintoki? In this situation, Shinpachi almost felt like the main character, 'cause right now the main character was going out with a guy. That sort of thing is only normal in yaoi anime because most of the time writers are trying to come up with new, orignal romances and instead create another goddamn harem. Well not today. No sir. Today Shinpachi had a chance to seize a little bit of happiness, by walking together under the same umbrella in a rain. Textbook romance! Was he prepared? Hell no. But did he want to take up her offer? To take up this opportunity and feel the rush of being a main character for once? 

... 

Yes. Yes, he did. 

Together they walked closely under the dull sky and the relentless rain. A constant chill passed through the air, but between them slight warmth spurred. They were quite close, after all. Having to share the same umbrella meant a lack of distance. They had walked quite a ways from the school, heading into the city. A few miles before Shinpachi neared his own house, the silence-the long, awkward silence-was finally broken, and thus this bashful feeling slipped through the cracks. 

"U-um...Shin-...Shinpachi-kun, I need to say something. If I don't, I don't think I can get another chance again. This is where my house is anyway, so I'll say it now and...Um...". 

They both stopped, and the awkwardness returned. It was a little hard to look eachother in the eyes, but Atsuko was the first to look straight on ajd face Shinpachi properly as th9ugh she had built up the courage to speak and say whatever was on her mind. 

"Ah, s-sure, go ahead. If there's anything you wanna tell me then-...". 

"I...!" She spoke abruptly. It was probably unintentional for her to interupt the way she did, but looking at her face presented some level of fear and anxiety, but also determination as her heart pounded in her chest. "I believe...it was fate that brought us together. Yesterday, I was feeling really down, maybe even a little depressed about things. I never expected you to come along and ask if I was feeling alright. It sounds stupid, but I think it was meant to be. I feel that way because...". 

"...?" 

Shinpachi froze up, and his mind went blank. This couldn't be...Could it? No way. No way in hell. Not Shinpachi. Not from this girl. There was no...way... 

"Shinpachi-kun, I...I have...a bit of a crush on...you". 

... 

Eh. 

Eh? 

What? 

Ehh? 

As Atsuko's voice trailed off into silence, her head lowering, her cheeks flushing a dark shade of red, Shinpachi stood there completely frozen with blood-shot eyes and a face of total shock and bewilderment. He began to tremble and trip over his words in his failed attempt to speak. Was this a dream? Was he dreaming? Was he the main character now? Was Gin-san replaced by the straight-man of Gintama? No, wait, he and Hijikata were still the main pairing of this lame fanfiction as a whole. But today, in this very chapter... 

"Would you...please go out with me?" She murmered, managing a sweet smile. 

("THANK YOU SWEET FAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE!") All while Shinpachi's brain cells were screaming in utter joy and elation. This was it. Good straight-man! Good-bye four-eyes! Good-bye Mr Forever alone! Hello sweet happiness! 

... 

"Gin-saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnn!" 

The elevator had been completely ignored, as well as the rain and the umbrella still in Shinpachi's hand as he bolted up the stiars in a frenzy. His eyes were wide, still blood-shot, his legs worn and near to breaking if he didn't slow down. But upon reaching the very top of the stairs, his fists began to work on getting that natural-permed bastards attention. Shinpachi huffed and puffed; breathless. He knocked on the door, calling out to him with every last breath. 

"Gin-san! Open up! Open up you natural-permed homo!" 

The door opened surprisingly quickly, and out came Gintoki. He appeared to be in a groggy state with his hair messier than usual, and his eyes were underlined with a dark shade that made him look sleep deprived. But perhaps, in fact, he was sleeping, taking a nap during the afternoon instead of working on his novel. 

"Geeez, what's with all the noise? Yap, yap, yap. Can't an old man take a nap in peace instead of working? Adults are a lot less active than brats, y'know". He yawned, scratching the back of his head. He looked more like a man getting up during the morning rather than the afternoon. "Hn? Shinpachi? What's up? Why all the noise?" 

"I have to tell you something, and you'd better damn well listen 'cause it's mind-blowing". 

"Alright, I'm listening. Come in and-". 

"No, Gin-san, listen to me. A girl...asked me to go out with her!" 

"...!" Gintoki was just as astonished and bewildered. His sleepy state was vanquished at that moment as the shock washed over him and all thoughts in mind went blank in a single instant. He was serious...This kid was serious, wasn't he? "...C-come in then. I guess I'll...make some tea. You just...You sit down and relax, buddy. Tell Gin-chan all about it in your own time, alright?" 

"Yes...!" 

... 

Tea was served at the dinner table. By then, Shinpachi had calmed down despite still being in a state of disbelief. Gintoki sat with him, prepared to dispel that disbelief and comfort him when he appeared to need it the most. 

"Have you calmed down?" He asked, resting his chin in his hand. 

"Yes...I'm sorry for...barging in here and...for calling you a...natural-permed homo". 

"...It's fine. I can forgive you just this once, because of the circumstances. Now, tell me from the beginning-slowly". 

"Ah, well...In a nutshell, I can say that I met this girl yesterday and we talked and today we ended up walking together from school. She then talked about fate and then said she had a crush on me. When I agreed to go out with her, she looked really happy and then...rushed to her house, leaving me with the umbrella she borrowed from her clubroom". 

At that, the soakng umbrella in Shinpachi's hand received a tighter grip. Just to note, it was a pink one witn a flower pattern. Really girly, but a treasure in Shinpachi's eyes to mark the moment when a girl asked him out for the very first time. Gintoki processed that information, leaning back in his chair with crossed arms and a facial expression of deep thought and wonder. 

"This girl...Were you friends with her to begin with?" 

"N-no. I said that I only met her yesterday". 

"Idiot...You know nothing about this girl and yet you wanna date her no problem". 

"S-sorry. I was in a tight spot, and...I was so happy. I don't think I've ever felt anything close to it". 

"Haah, geez...You brats jump into relationships far to quickly. I tokd ya to be friends with a girl first, and then move up the ladder while carefully sterring clear of the friend zone". 

"Since when did you go into so much detail?" 

"Anyway, you'd better not try anything too quickly. It could get either of you hurt". 

"I...I know". 

"Get to know her a bit, hang out with her when you can. Did you at least exchange numbers?" 

"N-no, she rushed out before we could say anymore". Gintoki grumbled, leaning his head back as he slapped his hand over his eyes. "What's with that reaction?!" 

"You're a real newbie, aren't ya?" 

"Well! What do you expect?! This is only my first time dating a girl, show me some mercy, will ya?!" 

"I've never dated a girl before, but if I became good friends with a girl, even casual sexual partners, we exchanged contact info. Back then, we couldn't afford anything like cellphones-not like I wanted one anyway-but we still called eachother from our homes. The next time you see her, ask for her phone number and give her yours. Got it?" 

"Y-yeah, I got it". 

"Good. Haaa...I'm I the only person you've told?" 

"Yeah. As soon as I said good-bye to Atsuko-chan, I rushed over here to tell you and get your advice again. I'm really nervous...". 

"You should be. I wonder how that gorilla of a sister will react, knowing that her little brother is finally going out with a girl. Maybe her brother complex with surface as your sister complex sinks down to the bottom of your unconscious. Now that would be something". 

"What brother complex?! No, what sister complex?! I'm not like that, you asshole! And neither is Big Sis'!" 

"Say that all you like, but the moment she hears of this, there'll be a war. I wouldn't really call it a war, actually. Not against your sister. That's just a gorilla woman interogating and possibly pummling a young girl. How old is she anyway?" 

"Seventeen, but we're still in the same year". 

"An older woman, hah? I've been there. I'm more into immature girls, but there was at least one exception, as I recall". 

"Eh? Really?" 

Gintoki smirked, putting a finger to his lips. 

"Not a story you should hear. Maybe when you're older". 

What kind of history did Gintoki have with women? What kind of history did he have in general? It was a complete mystery. Shinpachi wondered if even Hijikata knew about these things, about Gintoki's past and his old experiences with women. Probably not. That would make for awkward conversation, knowing that Gintoki had never been with a woman seriously-Shinpachi was aware of that, at least.

The front door opened then, and heads turned. Of course, there was a fifty-fifty chance on who it was. And, surprisingly, both guesses walked through the door: Kagura and Hijikata both. 

"Hey, Gintoki, we're coming in". Said Hijikata as Kagura rushed in before him, kicking off her shoes. "O-oi, be careful! You're gonna slip!" 

"I'm fine. Gotta hurry to my room!" 

Kagura made a quick dash to the stairs, pulling out her cellphone from her bag in a hurry. She was soaked from the rain, but paid no mind to her messy braid or damp clothing. Gintoki sighed and stood up to greet Hijikata. 

"Hey, you. You're completely soaked-look at you". 

"Y-yeah, I got it. I didn't have an umbrella with me, so...". 

"Dumbass. Come in and I'll grab towels for both you and the glutton upstairs". 

"Thank you, Gintoki". 

"You can thank me later". 

Gintoki headed for the downstairs bathroom in no rush at all as Hijikata stood there with a complaint on the tip of his tongue. After all he eas cold and wet, yet Gintoki took his sweet time in his groggy little state after napping all day. 

"Hey there, Shinpachi". He greeted, barely managing as he rubbed his arms to rid himself of the cold. Shinpachi managed a smile at that. 

"Hey, Hijikata-san. Are you...alright?" 

"Just soaked to the bone and freezing my ass off. So, I'm perfectly fine. How are you doing?" 

"Really good. Actually, I think I found a girlfriend". 

"That so? Congtrats. I hope she treats you right, but you have to make sure to do the same for her". 

"O-of course, absolutely". 

In the middle of their small-talk chat, Gintoki returned from the bathroom and headed upstairs. He opened Kagura's door and tossed one inside, barely hearing his voice to get Kagura's attention. 

"Here, Kagura. Dry off and change, otherwise you'll get a cold". 

He closed the door then, heading back downstairs with a second towel and, this time, approuched Hijikata. Almost immediatly, the fluffy, white towel was draped over Hijikata's head and ruffled through his damp hair. 

"So, how was your day?" Gintoki asked, making sure to reveal Hijikata's face from under the towel. 

"It-...Mm...It was fine. I made a huge arrest. Someone was-gh! S-selling illegal videos and materials online...". 

"Like porn and stuff?" 

"Something like tha-...Hey, I can dry my own hair, you know!" 

Gintoki lowered the towel around Hijikata's shoulders, revealing an even messier-although dry-head of hair. 

"Quit complaining. I'll let you borrow a change of clothes, and if you want you can use the bath". 

"That's not necessary. I'm gonna go grocery shopping anyway, so I'll be getting changed into my own clothes, in my own apartment before I head out. I just came back to get the old clothes that I left here for laundry. You know, the ones that were covered in paint". 

"Well, bad news, they're not clean yet. Because of the storm, the clothes are drying inside. Anyway, it's not like you'll be needing them anytime soon, since the room is pretty much finished". 

"I...guess so. But, still, I'll head back to my apartment and get changed. I need to head out soon". 

"If you say so. Do you think you'll be able to stop by later?" 

"Mm...I'll think about it". 

"Aagh, don't be a tease! We're having udon tonight, so feel free to join in". 

"Like I said, I'll think about it while I'm out. Sorry for intruding, and...I'll see you when I see you, alright?" 

"Yeah, yeah. Now get going already". 

Gintoki made a move to lean in and give Hijikata's lips a quick peck. He slid the towel from Hijikata's shoulders during this, and saw him off and out the door. Shinpachi had watched, and listened to their conversation. It sounded so ordinary, and so..."settled down". That was the wording Shinpachi chose to describe it. They were a settled down couple who weren't constantly excited and in heat for the days to come when they could spend time together. Their conversations weren't at all romantic or overly-affectionate. Shinpachi wondered if all adult relationships ended up like that. After so long, they had to steer away from the heat and cool off more and more when around eachother. It wasn't dull, though. In fact, Shinpachi percieved the image as being nice and comfortable. And they were. Gintoki and Hijikata were in a comfortable place.

"See you, Gintoki". 

"Bye~, and remember your umbrella this time". 

Gintoki turned his back to the door when Hijikata put his shoes back on and left. Stretching his arms up above his head with a strained groan, Gintoki looked Shinpachi's way once he relaxed. 

"What...?" He asked, puzzled. Shinpachi averted his eyes and muttered a quick "nothing" in embarrassment. Gintoki didn't quite get it, so he brushed it off and went back to sitting at the table to finish off his tea. "Whatever, Patsuan...". He murmured, sipping from his cup. 

Perhaps Gintoki hadn't realised it himself, or maybe he did and it really wasn't much of a big deal. To be so comfortable...Shinpachi was a late bloomer when it came to that, having only just started his first relationship. It was a good feeling. Shinpachi wondered if Gintoki ever felt that way when he first started dating Hijikata. It seemed unlikely, since it actually came as quite a shock to them both, knowing that they liked eachother. But, somewhere along the line, they must have felt good about themselves. After all, this was technically their first time dating as well. Back when they started, they must have had the same feeling. Now, it was a relationship of comfortability and closeness, intimacy and heat during their more private moments. Seeing the way they acted now, how much they got along rather than fighting constantly, Shinpachi thought how nice it was. Really nice. To recognise that fact now...was probably motivated by his own little bit of happiness. 

... 

... 

During a brighter afternoon, the day after the storm, Shinpachi returned to school with the umbrella he borrowed and asked around to find out which clubroom Atsuko attended in order to give the umbrella back. He did this during lunch period, when he had some free time. Students cleared out in the hallways, either sitting in class or making their way to the roof for lunch. Shinpachi headed straight to Atsuko's clubroom: The Music Club. He was curious, naturally. Having known nearly nothing about this girl, it would serve well to know at least the little things if they were going out. The very thought, those words, made Shinpachi's heart skip a beat. 

Nervously, he knocked on the clubroom door and waited patiently for an answer, if anyone was around. After mere moments, the door slid open and a girl stood there with a puzzled expression her face. She was unfamiliar to Shinpachi, but that didn't matter as long as hr could return the umbrella and get back to his own group for lunch. 

"Ah, here, I was given this umbrella to borrow and I think it's from your clubroom. Sorry about this". 

"Huh...I-it's fine. Thank you very much for returning it". The girl took the umbrella and bowed in thanks. But before she closed the door and returned to her own group, staitioned at the corner of the room around an asortment of desks, one of the girls stood and rush to the door. Shinpachi's eyes widened and his cheeks flushed from pure shock. It was Atsuko. 

"W-wiat, er...Can you gimme a moment, Tohko? This won't take too long, so...". 

"Eh? Ah, well, sure, Atsuko-shi. Take your time, but don't be out too long. Class will be starting soon". 

"I know. Thanks". 

Atsuko had entered the hallway with Shinpachi and the clubroom door was closed behind them. Atsuko appeared more withdrawn now that she was alone with Shinpachi, unable to utter a word to him for a very short period of time as she stammered and tried her best to form coherent words. 

"Um...Sh-Shinpachi-kun, I...I'm really happy about yesterday. Like, I haven't felt like that in a while and...I just wanted to know if you're really okay with dating me...". 

"Huh? O-of course I am. I'm...actually happy, too. I've never gone out with anyone before-as embarrassing as that is". 

"It's okay. I'm...glad. Really, really glad". 

The momentary silence was a little awkward, but they both smiled bashfully in eachother's presence. And then Shinpachi quickly remembered what Gintoki told him yesterday. 

"Ah, Atsuko-chan, would it be alright if we...exchanged numbers?" 

"Really? Y-yeah, okay. Totally. One sec'...". 

Atsuko brought out her phone from her skirt pocket. The cover was a light blue colour, shining in the light, with a cute keychain attached. It appeared to be a small panda figure with big, round eyes and a smile. She opened up a tab or two, getting to her contact details. She made sure that Shinpachi was listening, having his own cell phone out as well. They exchanged numbers immediatly, and the feeling of having her name in his contacts list was blissful. Switching off her phone, eyes averted to the ground, biting her bottom lip, Atsuko seemed just as happy. 

"Well, I'd better get back. I guess I'll text you later on and maybe we can organise a date soon". 

"A...A date?" 

"Uh-huh. We can get to know eachother a lot better, y'know? I'll...talk to you later, Shinpachi-kun. Bye...". 

Atsuko moved in, leaning up, without much height difference, to place a kiss on Shinpachi's cheek. His face warmed up immensly, and if this were a comical situation, his glasses would have cracked straight down the middle. Atsuko backed away and entered the clubroom once again with her cheeks red and her chest heaving a little. Quickly, Shinpack was left standing by himself withou a single word to be said either out loud or in his head. He was at a loss. This was...happiness. This was what happiness of the smallest calibre felt like, and by god it was wonderful... 

... 

"So then he asked if we would go on dates and stuff and I told him "sure. That's what Gin-chan and the Mayora do", and he gave me a weird look".

"Probably because he doesn't know what "Gin-chan and the Mayora" is". 

Tonight, Kagura was to help with cooking dinner. Although the extent of her responsibilities in the kitchen ranged from cutting up vegetables to stirring soup. Nothing too big. All the while she spoke of her new boyfriend. Admittiedly, she didn't sound incredibly enthusiastic. By this point it sounded a lot more like boasting. Gintoki took on his role as guardian and gave her a friendly pat on the head. 

"Well, it's good to know that you're growing up. Girls your age should have boyfriends, as long as it's nothing abusive or illegal". 

"Of course not, Gin-chan. Ryuu just asked me to go to the movies sometime, and I said yeah. Nothing illegal about that, is there?" 

"No, there isn't. I'll keep telling you to be careful, and don't do anything you don't wanna do, understand?" 

"Yep, yep. Man, you worry too much. You'd better not start sounding like-". 

"Don't say it. Don't compare me to that baldy known as your Father". 

"But you-". 

"Ah! Don't wanna hear it. I'm not as overly-protective as him. I wanna judge this kid after I meet him. If it turns out he is a bastard, you can be sure that he won't get off lightly". 

"Now you're starting to sound like the baldy...". Kagura murmured under her breath with her cheeks inflated. Gintoki paid no mind as he focused on cooking. 

The front door was open, and Shinpachi stepped through with a glint in his eye and a smile on his face. He looked way too happy. 

"Hey, Gin-san, Kagura-chan. Nice night, huh?" 

Gintoki and Kagura stared for a moment, keeping their voices low, unable to take their eyes away from Shinpachi. He definitely looked way to happy. 

"Oi, oi, Gin-chan, what's up with him? He looks way too happy". 

"He does, doesn't he? Best to keep our distance". 

"Right...". 

"Stop talking about me as if I'm some creep!" Shinpachi broke out of his happiness, acting like the straight-man again out of habit for their idiocy. "Why can't I express my happiness around here?! You guys are jerks!" 

"Relax, Patsuan, we're messing with you. Go on, share the happiness. Seems like we're all feeling it these days". 

"Nuh-uh. Gin-chan, you had your moment of happiness. Now you and the Mayora are busy acting like an old married couple. I'm surprised you two don't feel old yet". 

"Hahh?! Since when did me and that mayo-addict start acting like an old married couple?!" 

"Gin-san, it's been like that for a while...It's not hard to notice". 

"Wha-...?! You...! Well, we're not like that! End of story!"

Gintoki gritted his teeth with a livid expression. Clearly a sensitive subject that shouldn't be treaded on lightly, or at all if it involved those two. The two kids had to leave it at that if they wanted to avoid a long, frustrated lecture about how Gintoki and Hijikata were just dating, and they liked eachother and blah, blah, blah. Even though, nowadays, they really did act like an old married couple in their retirement years, possibly reminiscing the better, more romantic moments of their relationship. But in all seriousness, they were still young and it was easy to mess with them. Not knowing how they acted alone together was best left to the imagination for bystanders such as Shinpachi or Kagura. For them, the hot and happy couple, their intimacy and romance was fine. However, Gintoki naturally felt a little insecure when looking at those semi-serious expressions that practically told Gintoki that he was delusional thinking that they were still a hot couple; which they were, when alone, away from judgemental eyes. 

When in a calmer state of mind, forgetting about the previous comments about his relationship with Hijikata, Gintoki sat down at the dinner table with the kids and felt that it was high time they learned whatever they wished to know about dating. There wasn't much experience there but he could tell them what he knew to some extent. Before them lay plates of curry rice, and during their meal, they conversed and discussed whatever came to mind. 

"So, is there anything you kids wanna know about dating? I'll tell ya what I know seeing as it is kinda my job. Go on. Ask away". Gintoki slid a spoonful of curry and rice past his lips and his gaze shifted from either teen. They were thinking this through for a moment or two before Kagura clicked her fingers. 

"Ah! I know! What was your first kiss like, Gin-chan?" 

"Ahh? I didn't mean that kind of question, dweeb. Is there anything you wanna know about going on dates? Don't focus on me, moron". 

"But I wanna know~. It could help us when we have our first kiss". 

"God knows when that will be. Haa, fine. It was...Well, at the time, I thought it was the most amazing thing in the world and, looking back, I realised...her lips were chapped and her mouth tasted like toothpaste". Gintoki grumbled in disturbance when almost reliving that memory in his mind. He was a brat, so first kisses always feel amazing. 

"What about the Mayora?" Kagura asked, sipping her carton of juice. 

"Do you really wanna hear about this?" 

"Yeah, I wanna know! Did his mouth taste like mayonnaise?!" Kagura slammed her hands down on the table, demanding an answer. Gintoki rolled his eyes. 

"No, they didn't. It was...nice". 

Even Shinpachi had a puzzled expression across his features when hearing those very words. 

"It was..."nice", you say? Come on, Gin-chan, it's you guys. It must've been special!" 

"H-hey, we're not discussing it! End of story. Man...Brats are so strange these days; I can't keep up". 

"Oh, so you're comfortable talking about your very first kiss, but not your first kiss with the Mayora? Very strange...". Kagura smirked. It was a very smug expression that was dislikable in Gintoki's eyes. No one should make that type of face without some sort of maleficent thought in their twisted little minds. 

"Anyway, um, what was your first date like, Gin-san?" Shinpachi spoke next as he wanted to shift away from the topic of two guys kissing. A little awkward for a conversation topic, to say the least. 

"Ah, geez...How come these are all personal questions?" 

"We're curious, Gin-chan. Now tell us!" 

"I'm not gonna talk about my first date with the Mayora! You'll have to settle for date ideas, nothing else. Besides, it's embarrassing to talk about-even in front of adults. Hell, me and Hijikata don't even talk about it". Gintoki's cheeks were a little red, scratching the back of his head. Shinpachi and Kagura stared in awe. They had never... 

"Gin-chan...". 

"We've...never seen you like this before". 

Gintoki was soon aware of it himself and, before long, he was forcing himself to snap out of this ane move on right away with his head held high. He couldn't show that side of him in front of those kids. Hijikata was the only one who was allowed to see the confident, collected Gintoki crumble into a state of embarrassment and nervousness. The only one goddammit! 

"Ahem! A-anyway...Listen up, I suppose we can start off slow by understand what these...two kids are the like, the one's who you're both going out with. Kagura, you first".

"O-kay~! Uhh, let's see...His name's Ryuu Suzuki, and he's the same age as me...". 

"Don't make it into an essasy. What are his hobbies? His interests?" 

"Mm...He said he doesn't get a lot of time to himself 'cause he looks after his Papi, but as far as I know he likes cooking and reading manga". 

"I see...That's kinda standard". 

"I told ya that he doesn't get much time to himself, and he cooks everyday. What do you expect?" 

"With standard interests, and a standard personality, comes a standard romance. No offense Shinpachi". 

"How did I know that you were gonna aim that at me?! A-anyway, the girl I'm going out with is called Atsuko Nakano. As far as I know, she attends the music club". 

"Is that it?" Gintoki questioned, truely disappointed in these kids. "Jesus...I can't really say much, but you kids need to get to know a person better before you jump into dating 'n' stuff". 

"I know Ryuu pretty well, since we did start off as friends". 

"Good. That's good, Kagura. I think some relationships are better if you start out as good friends. I wouldn't know, but it fits, doesn't it?" Kagura nodded at that with confidence. 

Although he had no real experience when it came to dating, Gintoki had friends that were women-and still does. However, during his years as a teenager he would get a little closer to those girls whom he called friends and, often more than not, they would experiment and recive more pleasure than the casual friendly hug and kiss on the cheek. It was intimate, and sexual, and fun for him. He sounded like a pervert. He sounded like scum, to some extent, but it was his instincts that led Gintoki into those heated relationships and sessions of kissing and touching-exploring even-with their hands and thoughts. This wasn't something to discuss with the kids, though. Not ever. Not even when they were all grown-up and having their own intimate experiences. 

"I'll try and come up with some good ideas for you two. Maybe you and Ryuu-kun could go to a manga store together. There's a large one in town, but avoid the top floors at all costs. Ya hear, Kagura?"

"Mm-hm. Thanks, Gin-chan". 

"No problem. Any questions at all-that aren't about me and Hijikata?" 

"Hmm...Well...". 

"Here, I have a question: When did you start liking Ryuu-kun? Was it mutal or...?" 

"Eh? W-well...". Kagura hesitated. A strange reaction for her. Hesitation...But why? "It's, er...Kinda embarrassing to explain. Um...Thanks for the advice, Gin-chan. Do you think you could help me out more later on?" 

"...Sure". 

"Great. I, um...I'm gonna go to my room now. Thanks again...". 

Kagura had left without looking back. Her plate of curry rice was barely finished, and she hadn't even asked for seconds. Unusual behaviour from an otherwise unusual girl. Her actions and her facial expression of guilt and dismay-due to the sudden question-was very odd and left this sense of suspicion between Gintoki and Shinpachi. But Shinpachi was always the one who tried to look at it differently and was always the one to suggest "maybe they're tired", "maybe they don't feel well", without looking at the truth. He didn't want to believe that there were other thoughts going on in Kagura's head. He wanted her to have the happiest options in life, and right now she clearly wasn't happy. The only question to ask was "why?" Why wasn't she happy? 

"Maybe she's...". But he couldn't say it for some reason. This wasn't as serious for him to want to brush it off. Or maybe it was, and seeing Kagura look like that was something he had to mention. Shinpachi wanted to get to the bottom of it without hurting her feelings. He stood up, only for Gintoki to force his shoulder down until he was once again seated. 

"...? Gin-san?" 

"Leave her be. I'll speak to her later on, alright?" 

"But-...". 

"I'm sure it's nothing that you need to worry about. So focus on you, and leave Kagura to me. For now, why don't we talk about your girlfriend? There's some stuff we can talk about, too". 

"I guess...But...". 

"Shinpachi, I know you're worried about Kagura, and that's fine. But you can rest assured that I'll speak to her later. Let me worry about her, and you focus on your dates". 

"...Yeah, I know". 

"So...". Gintoki clapped his hands together, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms. "Go on. Tell me: have you two planned anything yet? Like a date?" 

"N-not yet. But we exchanged contact info and we agreed to organise something later on, over text. But I don't really know what we could do for a date. Any ideas, Gin-san?" 

"To be honest, you should try to figure these things out yourself, but since this is a first time-for the both of you-I'll do what I can properly, and advise you. Now, first off, a lot of standard teenage dates consist of things like: seeing a movie, going to a simple restaurant or café, maybe a manga store, the beach. And, right now, I'm gonna tell ya right off the bat about things you should watch out for". 

"Huh? Really?" Shinpachi was obviously skeptical, but he continued to listen out of curiosity despite any hesitance or doubt that he felt. 

"Yes, really. For example, if you suggest going to a beach or swimming pool for a date, be careful. Because some girls think it's clever to say shit like "Ehh? What? Are you suggesting that so you can see me in a swimsuit? Pervert". That is a no-go. Why? 'Cause it means the girl is self-aware of her own good looks, and has no modesty. If it seems like she isn't joking, back off". 

"Really Gin-san? I mean, maybe in an anime, but for some reason I don't see that happening in real life". 

"But it did happen! That bitch made me look like a total pervert in front of her friends!" Gintoki cried out, slamming his fists onto the table. 

"Hey wait a minute! That's advice from actual personal experience! Why the hell does your teenage life sound a lot like a scenario in an ecchi anime?!" 

"Fuck knows! But after that day I cursed that bitch to seven hells with Takasugi. He was...er, kinda into all that emo stuff at the time. So we cursed her and, eventually, she lost her virginity over summer break to a guy nearly twice her age. Who's the pervert now, skank?" 

"Gin-san, that's...really dark of you to say. Seriously...Where the hell did that come from?" 

"Anyway, suggest nice, relaxing walks, or a day watching a movie. That's pretty normal, I'd say". 

"Yeah...The only crazy part was how you changed your mood so quickly. Are you...alright, Gin-san?" 

"Uh-huh. I'm good, Shinpachi. The past is in the past, after all. I can't stay mad about something that happened in high school, now can I?" 

"You sounded pretty mad to me...Um, anyway, I'll come up with a few things; places I can take her and such. Ah, what about stuff like gifts? What kind of presents have you exchanged with Hijikata?" 

Gintoki smirked a little at that. Seemed like he had a good idea, or... 

"Here's the thing: Hijikata and I don't exchange gifts". 

"Eh...?" 

"That's right. What we do for "gifts" are more like nice gestures. For instance, we cook for eachother from time to time, and he sometimes comes around with cake that he bought at the bakery near the shopping center. I even give him backrubs after a long day of work". 

"I see. Yeah, I suppose you guys aren't the type to exchange things like presents". 

"That kinda stuff is meant for special occassions, anyway. If you want, a little later in the relationship, you could share bentos at school or maybe try cooking something for her". 

"Y-yeah, that sounds perfect. Thanks, Gin-san".

"No problem. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go check up on Kagura". 

"Go ahead. I think I'll head home anyway, and see about date options. Thanks again, Gin-san. And...try to be sensitive. Who knows what's wrong, but go about it gently". 

"Of course I will. But despite that, she's actually quite tough. I'm sure she'll be fine. Get going now before your sister gets worried". 

"Sure...". 

Shinpachi left moments later with a good-bye and yet another, unneeded thank you for Gintoki's advice. Gintoki had turned away from the front door when all was silent and briefly began to figure out a plan of action to talk to this girl. Kagura had a sensitive side, too. But Gintoki had a right wonder what was wrong, and why she acted like that earlier with such a saddened and guilty look on her face. It was almost as if she was putting up a defense mechanism around herself and this relationship she had with this "Ryuu" kid. He was yet to find out, and cheer her up. No one else was responsible for that, after all. 

... 

With a small plate in hand; a cup of warm milk and a selection of Japanese sweets balanced together on it's surface, Gintoki knocked on the door to Kagura's bedroom and spoke assertively, but not forcefully: "I'm coming in" he said before opening the door to a darkened room. Immediatly the big lump under Kagura's bedsheets was in sight, underneath a bright light emanated from within the sheets. Her cellphone. She was on her cellphone. Being distracted, Kagura didn't give him permission to "come in", but it couldn't hurt. He had to get to the bottom of this somehow. And, for once, maybe being blunt and direct wasn't the way to go. She appeared to be sulking under those bedsheets, after all. 

"Kagura-chan, Shinpachi and I helped ourselves to some Japanese sweets earlier. We saved you some, if you want leftovers. There's milk there too. Just don't drink it too fast, otherwise you'll get a stomach ache". 

"...". 

The plate was gently placed on the end table by her bed, and not a word was spoken to him, except for a very hushed "thanks". He didn't expect much. Kagura picked up her stubborn attitude from him after so-and-so years living under the same roof (maybe only a couple of years under the same roof). There was one last thing he had made up for her in a short amount of time. Reaching into his back pocket, Gintoki pulled out a folded scrap of paper and leaned over to tap this paper over the exposed patch on Kagura's head. Curious, she looked up and grasped the paper. 

"What's this?" She muttered in question when sitting up and allowing the bedsheets to collapse down to her waist. Opening it up was when Kagura's attitude changed. 

"I thought of some places you and Ryuu-kun could go on a date. See? Aren't I a good guardian? Isn't Gin-san super supportive?" 

Kagura smiled gratefully and swerved her body and legs around to the edge of the bed where she looked over the short list of places and opening times that Gintoki had, gladly, written down for her. 

"Thanks...Gin-chan. Um...I know Imacted a little weirdly, but I...I want you to know that...I do...". Kagura was disheartened, although she looked over the list of familiar places and spots gratefully. "I do...like Ryuu...I do like him, Gin-chan". 

She appeared nervous, and her hands trembled a bit as she grasped the paper. Gintoki scratched behind his ear and let out a sigh.

"Y'know, when Hijikata and I started going out, I wasn't sure if I liked him or not. But, over time, you do begin to like that person. And you guys are better off, since you started out as good friends. If you're worried about something, or if you don't like him the same way now, it should be fine. Maybe you will grow to like him just the same. You're both young, though. No need to jump too far ahead when it comes to stuff like feelings". 

"Gin-chan...You're...really nice when no one is watching. Mind explaining yourself?" 

"...I dunno. I'm not used to talking to kids that much, and I'm just concerned for you, Kagura. I don't think either of you should suffer heart-break at your age. If it hurts a little, that's normal. But don't you think it'll hurt more if he thinks you don't like him in the same way?" 

"I-...I do like him, though. I do, Gin-chan...It's just...I don't really know much about this stuff. It feels weird". 

"That's normal, too. It'll be fine. You'll learn as you go along, and it gets easier. Talk to him about those date ideas, and come to an agreement. That way you can spend time together somewhere that you both enjoy, and you can get to know eachother a lot better. I can tell you right now, from my "vast amount" of experience, that going on dates is a really great way to get to know the person and even grow to like them more than you orignally did. Y'see?" 

Gintoki petted Kagura's messy hair. She smiled faintly with her grip of both her phone and the list tightening up ever so slightly. 

"...Thanks, Gin-chan". 

"It's alright, no big deal, okay?" 

"You sure...?" 

"Yup. Now, eat up those sweets and drink the milk before it gets cold. There's plenty more if you want them". 

Kagura's attention perked up and her eyes wandered to where Gintoki walked towards the bedroom door. She smirked a little. 

"I thought you said these were leftovers?" 

"They are; of one box. There's another, if you want them. Night, Kagura". 

"...Night, Gin-chan". 

Gintoki managed to hide a smile as he exited through the door, showing only his broad back before the door shut behind him. Kagura, with Sadaharu curled up by her side, took the glass of milk and a namagashi, squeezing easily between her fingers from the gelatine. She smiled and took a bite, a sip too. Sometimes Gintoki was hard to understand, but he had his good intentions somewhere. There were times when he acted a little coldly, but at the time he did what he thought was best for Kagura. Blunt and straight to the point. That was his way. But he didn't want Ryuu to have a broken-heart so early on in this relationship because Kagura probably didn't feel the same. And, in all honesty, she wanted to feel the same. Looking over the list in hand, seeing Gintoki's handwriting and the clear ideas he thought about put a smile on her face. These places...They weren't too expensive, but they were nice to visit. Kagura was grateful. She was grateful...Better text Ryuu and organise something now, huh? 

... 

Kagura wasn't the only one still texting during the evening. Shinpachi lay under his futon, speaking to Atsuko via text messages with different emoticons being being exchanged to convey feelings rather than giving a vaguel emotionless text that could be taken the wrong way. That was one of the biggest pains on any social media, or simple texting. It was always the tone. The tone could be taken the wrong way. He texted on, leaving appropriate emoticons to convey...something or other that didn't make him sound bored or like an asshole. The tone! 

[So, Shinpachi-kun, any ideas for a date? I have some ideas on places we could go. Although I'm not sure if it's too expensive, or...]. 

[I have a job, so it should be fine. I'll be happy going anywhere with you]. 

[I didn't know you had a job! So cool! Well, then, I guess we can definitely go somewhere nice for our first date. I'm so excited!] 

[Me too...]. 

Shinpachi had never smiled like this for a girl who wasn't Otsuu-chan. The feeling was odd but good all the same. Looking around his room, he felt this quiet embarrassment for all of the Otsuu merchandise he collected. But he couldn't feel totally embarrassed. After all, he supported Otsuu since the very beginning, right before she became an idol. This was an odd situation. After coming up with so many rules of the "Otsuu-chan fan club", as Captain of that club, he thought he might be going against them by getting a girlfriend... No. No matter what, he still loved Otsuu with all his heart and nothing-absolutely nothing-would change that. 

("Shin-chan, are you still up?") 

Upon hearing his sister's voice outside of the bedroom door, breaking into his train of thought, Shinpachi went into a fit of panic. He swiftly shut off his phone, and buried himself under the safety of his blankets. Like a character from a generic horror movie, he lay in wait with his eyes buldging and his breathing heavy. He covered his mouth, hearing the bedroom door slide open quietly. For some reason, Shinpachi was panicking. No, in fact...He was panicking for a perfectly good reason. If Otae found out about his girlfriend, god knows how she would react. Her role as the over-protective sister would come into play, and someone was liable to get hurt if they stood in her way...Like Gintoki. Oh, poor Gintoki... 

"Shin-chan...?" 

Otae looked on, towards the lump under Shinpachi's futon, and smiled a little. He was "asleep", after all. Thinking that, Otae went further into the room to set out her own futon when...When a pinging noise and a flashing light emitted from within Shinpachi's futon. Shit....Shit, shit, shit! He didn't actually turn it off! Shinpachi was really panicking now. She would find out...She was gonna find out! Otae didn't move. In fact, she grew wary and spoke with the suspicion of hismactivites clear in her voice. 

"So you are awake. Shin-chan, maybe you should turn your phone off for tonight? It's late". 

"R-right...Sorry, Big Sis'. Goodnight...". 

He turned off his phone, and adjusted himself to the covers of his futon. Shit...He was in trouble, wasnt he? Knowing he was awake, on his phone, hiding...It could only cause his sister's suspicions to arise and haunt him until she knew what was going on. And she absolutely couldn't know. Someone would die. Someone would definitely die...He knew this, yet he quickly looked over the text message that Atsuko sent to him as he quietly and discreetly turned his phone back on and immediwtly lowered the brightness of the screen. He squinted his eyes, glasses still on his face, and read: 

[How does Sunday sound?] 

Sunday sounded...It was a usual Sunday, but was not the usual as his first ever date was breaking away from the routine. He could call in sick to the office, make arrangements, anything. It would be an incredible Sunday. Sunday sounded like fun, like it would be the best Sunday in his whole goddamn life. Or maybe not... 

... 

... 

It arrived so suddenly, so harshly; the knocking at Gintoki's front door. It was Sunday. On that day Kagura and Shinpachi had gone out on their first dates while Gintoki sat at home, working on his novel while having to wait until that night to see Hijikata. But the knocking at the door made a gap in his plans. In his desk chair, he swerved around and got up to answer in a hurry as the noise was disturbing him from his work. Even if he couldn't be heard. Gintoki still muttered and complained for them to relax, that he was coming, shut your trap and so on. When he did open the front door those complaints ceased immediatly and his blood ran cold. That smile...How? 

"Good afternoon, Gin-san". It was that woman. It was Otae, arriving at his front door with an ominous smile and a cheery voice. "I was wondering if you had seen Shin-chan? Hm? Do you now where he went?" 

He did know. Shinpachi went out to his very first date at a café that sold some of Gintoki's favourite desserts and sweetened beverages. He gulped when staring at her face and the feeling of unease and perhaps fear turned his stomach upside down. He hesitated, scratching the nape of his neck. But he didn't look away. If he looked away from this woman, he would surely die. 

"Well, y'see, Otae-san, I think Shinpachi is supposed to be at work today. If you're looking for him, why not just call him?" 

"I tried that, but he turned his cellphone off. Why would he do such a thing? Hm, Gin-san? Where is he?" She repeated, her tone growing darker but her smile remaining. 

"Uh, hold on a sec'...". 

"If you don't tell me, I suppose I'll have to use a little force. Sorry for the intrusion~". 

Otae approuched, stepping into the apartment and kicking her shoes off without stopping. Gintoki backed away. He backed up further and further, protesting for her to calm down and stop where she was. His feet brought him to the far end of the apartment when his back was pressed against the wall. The fear overcame him quickly and he dreaded whatever awaited him. Sweat dripped down his forehead and the back of his neck. Tiny spots of goosebumps rose on his skin. Otae was still smiling. 

"Tell me, Gin-san...Otherwise...". Her hand swung forward and in an unexpected turn of horrifying events, Otae grabbed Gintoki's crotch and squeezed very light. Naturally he flinched and felt the pain he was about to recieve course through his entire body. In thus situation his legs felt weak and his mind was screaming for him to fucking give up and tell the crazy woman what she wanted. 

"W-woah, there, Otae-chan...You don't-...You don't wanna do that! I mean...C-come on...I, I need that...I need my Gintoki Jr.! For the first time I need him! Can't you understand?! You're practically a man-ah!" 

Gintoki back slumped forward as soon as Otae's gorilla-like hand gripped his balls tightly. Instinct brought his knees together and locked them there as his thighs also clamped together. 

"I'm sure Hijikata-san would be upset if you suddenly went imputent, but there's nothing we can do about that unless you kindly tell me where. Shin-chan. Went. I'll give you five seconds. One~...". Her countdown began, and Gintoki panicked. 

"W-wait, wait, wait, waaaaiiit! You psycho woman! Just-". 

"Two...". 

"I can't tell you! Your little brother will never get anywhere in life if you keep tagging along, trying to teach him how to walk! Are you crazy?!" 

"Three-ee~...". 

"This woman is crazy! What's with that face?! Look, look! I won't tell you! If this is your way of interogating someone, then you're doing it wrong! Be the good cop instead and leave my dick alone!" 

"Four...". Otae's tone darkened again. Grasping his crotch was only the beginning when this woman was seriously going to squeeze-and we know she would squeeze hard. Gintoki was internally panicking. For reasons unknown he had looked away from that devil-woman's face and stared down at her hand that cupped his area. Her fingers were practically digging in, along with her manacured nails and steel grip. He couldn't take this...Any moment she would say "five" and it would be all over. Good-bye future children. Good-bye sperm. Good-bye wavy hair gene. Good-bye Gintoki Jr! 

"Five...!" 

"Okay! Okay! Okay! You win! You win! You wiiiiin!" As her steel grip clung onto his precious balls within a fraction of a second, Gintoki caved in it and cried out. He felt cowardly, but this was different. This was...his dick we were talking about. If he lost that...How would he be able to look Hijikata in the eyes again? How would they share magical evenings again? How would he be able to look...at himself...without seeing those bruised, crushed balls...He wouldn't. He wouldn't... 

("I'm sorry, Patsuan..."). Tears were nearing the corners of his eyes as he smiled in relief and guilt. ("I'm sorry...She won..."). 

Otae slowly retracted her hand. Her eyes seemed to relax and her smile seemed more natural. Gintoki sighed heavily and fell to his knees. Bending down, Otae moved in closely to Gintoki and pushed back a few strands of his hair to provide the impression that there was still some humanity within her. Yeah, right... 

"I'm sorry, Gin-san. But I did what I had to do, for Shin-chan's sake. Now tell me...Where exactly is Shin-chan going for this "date"?" 

"He's...Eh? Wait a minute...What?" Gintoki raised his head and, by her words, was thoroughly confused. 

"I know it was wrong, but I looked through Shin-chan's messages on his cellphone. It was wrong, but...He's been acting so suspicious lately and I was worried that he might be in trouble, or getting involved in something bad. But then...something much worse came up. From the texts being sent back and forth, it seems...It seems that Shin-chan has a girlfriend. Tell me...How the hell did this happen?!" 

"Why is that worse?! I can understand your worry-to some extent-but looking through his phone, and then getting angry about his girlfriend...That's too much, even for you!" 

"You don't understand, Gin-san! Teenage girls these days cannot be trusted! He'll get hurt or she'll try to take things away from him! Things he can never get back!" Was she talking about his virginity? Wasn't this woman his sister? "I'm worried that she might be playing him for a fool, and I won't have it! If I think she's a bad influence, or a hussie, I won't accept her! If I know she's a good person and a nice girl, then she can have my blessing. Gin-san, help me". 

"Why should I help you? Besides, let him do his own thing. From what I've been hearing this week, she sounds like a nice enough girl. So leave him be. Shinpachi isn't dense, and if she was a hussie you would think that an average school would spread that shit around". 

"Still...". 

"Still, if it's put your mind at ease, I'll let ya see for yourself. But, if you want me to be honest, I'd say you let him introduce her to you himself. If he's confident that you'll like her, he's sure to give you benefit of the doubt". 

"Gin-san...". 

Gintoki stood. "Let's go". He muttered, walking past Otae towards his laptop. Saving his work so far was a must, after all. Honestly he didn't want to do this. That woman was being far too over-protective. Although, it wouldn't surprise Gintoki if Shinpachi was the same towards her; stupid and over-protective. What was with the sibling complex? He grumbled, knowing that this probably wouldn't end well. 

... 

It began at the café; suggested by Gintoki the other day, when Shinpachi asked about a good place to eat. It served good desserts. By good, Gintoki would have personally labelled them as heavenly. On rare occassions, Hijikata would put aside a littlw bit of money and buy something sweet for Gintoki. They were a little more expensive than ordinary cakes due to the unbelievable quality of the icing and the cream, the sponge, the different jams inside, chocolate, fruits, nuts. Gintoki's muth watered as he stared at the glass case within the café, while Otae focused on the couple stting by the window; that couple being Shinpachi and this "Atsuko" girl. She was pretty, but that was the only thing Otae could give her right now. Behind two magazines, the two bystanders focused on two totally different things. 

"Sir, are you ready to order?" Asked one of the kind waitresses. 

"Ah, yeah. I'll have a milk tea and, er...That cake there". Gintoki pointed to a chocolate and banana cake behind the glass case. The waitress set her eye on it with a smile and a nod and the usual, cheery "coming right up". She the walked off behind the counter after bowing politely. 

Otae had watched Shinpachi and Atsuko the whole time. That whole time they were smiling and talking incoherently-from that distance. Sitting any closer would be suspicious and Otae was likely to be caught before going all out and interogating that girl like she did to Gintoki, only with no ball-grabbing. Gintoki directed his attention towards Otae, and then the couple, and then Otae and then the couple again in an attempt to understand why she held such contempt and fury in her facial expressions. Anyone could see that those two, sitting by the window, merrily conversing about the odd thing, we having a good time. Gintoki ignored his given magazine and sat back with curious eyes, towards the two before glancing back down at the magazine. 

"If only they went to a manga café...Then I could read something more enjoyable. Why do people read this shit?" 

"Will you keep your voice down?" Otae whispered harshly, hiding her face behind the magazine with a glare of death in her eyes. It was fucking terrifying. 

"Otae, look, the kid's are having a good time. Maybe you should leave them be now. Doing this shows you're no better than that stalking gorilla-". 

It happened too fast; when the waitress brought over his cake and placed it down before Gintoki. That was when, at the very term "stalking gorilla" did Otae take action out of anger. She grabbed Gintoki by the back of the head and slammed his face full force into the cake in front of him. With so much force, the plate managed to smash into pieces, in addition the table jolted with a thud against his head as it broken through the plate. The waitress gasped with shock, kneeling down beside Gintoki. 

"Oh my god! Sir, are you alright?!" 

Slowly, now with a splitting headache, Gintoki raised his head. Already his vision was blurred by red and black, his face covered in blood and cake. He was trembling from the pain, but no moans or cries of such feelings escaped. His head twitched, barely managing to face the waitress with a forced and faint smile, but with dead eyes and a bloody nose. 

"I...I, I'm...fine...No need to...worry...Excuse me...". Gintoki then faced Otae with clenched teeth and eyes that were practically buldging out of his head as the fury built up. "What the hell do you think you're doing, you psycho bitch?!" His voice was hushed down to a whisper but his tone held a lot of rage and the urge to slam her head into a table. He didn't. He chose not to. 

"Don't compare me to that gorilla! Unless you wanna die?!" Her voice was also hushed but she pretended to justify her violent actions. No way in hell could she justify Gintoki's headache and bloody face. 

Gintoki snarled, displeased and pissed off. Why did he have to get dragged into this? Why? Oh, yeah, because the idiot volunteered to put her mind at ease. What part of her fucked-uo brain was at ease?! Gintoki took his feather-light napkin and wiped his face. His head throbbed and his eyes stung a little. Feeling just a little responsible-and only a little-Otae took her napkin and helped clean up his bloody face. 

"Here. Hope this is redemption enough". 

"Like hell it is...". Gintoki grumbled. 

The bell above the front door rang, and the new customer was greeted by a waitress or two. No attention was brought to them by the customers, especially Otae or Gintoki as they continued to clean up his nose and clot the blood flow that poured from his nose-which, by now was prone to bleeding. The new customer approuched the front counter, and their voice...That voice was what gained their attention. 

"Good afternoon! I was wondering if I could buy a couple teas to go, please. A friend of mine said that this place was really great, so I-...". 

Heads turned, expressions softened into appearances of both indifference and disbelief. They were frozen; both Gintoki and Otae staring into the haunting gaze of...a gorilla...Of Isao Kondo. They saw him, and he saw them. They saw him enter a café for a couple teas to go, he saw them together, with Otae covering Gintoki's nose as it bled. Otae's eyebrow and the corner of her lips twitched, a rather noticable vein popping out from her head. She was close...So close...But Shinpachi couldn't see...His supposed "girlfriend" could not see it. Not the scene she wished to make; involving smacking that stalker gorilla's face into the glass case before tossing him out the window into a zoo somewhere. Kondo opened his mouth as to say something, pointing to the two of them with a furrowed brow and a look of disbelief. 

"What...are you two...O-Otae-san...Gin-san, you...Haa...Why are you-hmph?!" 

The two leaped forward before anymore was said, and both Otae and Gintoki grasped Kondo's big mouth before he said anything incriminating, something that would judge their characters before he actually understood the situation. 

"Shut up, you damn gorilla...". They both snarled, gritting their teeth. 

"If you think...". 

"If you think...". 

"If you think I'm with him on a date...". 

"If you think I'm cheating on Hijikata with this woman..." 

"You're wrong!" They spoke firmly in unison, dragging Kondo to the table to his ass down, and hiding him behind a spare magazine. 

Sitting there, confused, Kondo watched the two glance up towards-what appeared to be-Shinpachi and a girl whom Kondo had never seen before. His girlfriend? How the... He hadn't looked their way as he must have been engrossed, talking to this girl. Kondo glanced to Gintoki, and then Otae-feeling blissful just sitting at the same table with her, even if he didn't get to sit right beside her. Smiling, Kondo tured to Gintoki. 

"Uh, hey, Gin-san...How...are you?" It was odd for him to talk to Gintoki first, but knowing that Gintoki was the man dating Hijikata, Kondo couldn't resist. "I mean, how are things going with Toshi? I've only heard his side of the story, but what about you?" 

"We're just dandy". He answered simply, cupping his napkin over his nose to prevent the bleeding. 

"Is that so? It's funny: he talks about you in a little more detail. He can't help but ramble on about all the good things. It's amazing, really". 

Gintoki then, with his interests peaked, looked at Kondo and questioned those very words. 

"R-really? L-like what?-What does he say about me?" 

"Uhm, well, I'm not sure he'd want you to know...". 

"Aw-come on. I take back what I said about you being a gorilla...Uh, no, actually. No I don't-but still. Come on...I'm really curious. What did he say?". 

"Ah, well...". Kondo looked a little awkward first of all, but then grinned and crossed his arms. "I...I can't. I really can't tell you...Mr....The-Best-He's-Ever-Had". 

Gintoki's eyes widened, and a smile grew across his lips, gaping in total disbelief. 

"No. Fuckng. Way. He said that?! He really said that about me?!" Kondo shrugged, averting his eyes, still grinning from ear to ear. 

"I...Uhm, I suppose he also...H-he also talks about how spending time with you after work makes his stress go away...or makes it worse, weirdly enough but-you know...". 

"Anything else...?" 

"Well...He did say he thinks about you a lot, when work's really getting to him. By that, you could assume...But...It's a little hard to descibe. I guess Toshi does have some sort of affinity for you. One that I've never actually seen before".

"Really...Is there anything else? Come on, spill it". 

Honestly. These two bastards were like two girls gossiping about a new boyfriend. It was sickening for Otae to listen to. They were all giddy and shy to talk about Hijikata in a really weird and out-of-character way. It was creepy... 

"N-no! I can't say anymore~! He'll get mad~!" 

"Aww, no fair~!" 

By this point, they were just fucking with Otae's head weren't they. After all, they did notice her discomfort right away. No, really. They were fucking around right now. Clearing their throats put an end to their fake "girly" moment right then and there. Thank god. 

Meanwhile, at Shinpachi's table, the two were totally oblivious of the three idiots sitting at the opposite end of the café. Atsuko placed down her tiny fork back onto the plate with a light clink, crumbs from her cake the only remnants around its surface. She sighed, and wiped her lips with the napkin. Shinpachi sipped whatever was left in his teacup and also sighed. 

"Haah...". 

"Wow...Shinpachi-kun, this place is really amazing. I don't think I've ever visited such a delicate little café. It's so sophisticated, too, in it's own way". 

"I know, right? I mean, I've only been here once, and it was to pick up a birthday cake for my big sister". 

"Eh? You have a big sister?" 

"I never told you? Oops, sorry. I suppose I just...wanted to find out more about you, a lot more than I wanted to talk about myself". 

"Oh, no, that's okay. I'm glad you listened. Not a lot of bys ever...Ahem, a-anyway, what is your sister like?" 

"Well...". Shinpachi had to think off the top of his head. It wasn't easy to describe his elder sister in just one word. In fact, what words could he use without sounding like he had a big sister complex? That sort of paranoia developed from what Gintoki's always used to say about Shinpachi's suppose "sister complex". Damn him... Shinpachi had to say something, though. Without rambling on or sounding creepy, he wanted to say somethng. "She's...a really great sister. See, our parents died when we were both really young and Sis' was the only one who really took care of me. I respect her a lot, y'know?" 

"I see. Must've been hard. I don't actually remember my Mother very much. I didn't have a chance to learn a lot about her since she walked out when I was little, leaving me with Dad. Ah...Shoot...". 

"What's the matter?" 

"I...I'm sorry. You didn't need to hear that, I just...I never thought I'd ever say something like that so casually. I guess I've gotten used to it, having a Step-Mother now and all. It's alright, since we're happy. Daddy had to find someone eventually, right?" 

"...". 

The conversation, with its rather sad topic, was put aside as they shared a smile and managed to look away with flushed cheeks. 

"Ah, anyway...Looks like we're done here. Um, geez...Should we pay half-and-half, or would it be fair if we paid for what we bought?" 

"It's okay, Atsuko-chan, I'll pay for the both of us". 

"Huh...?" 

"I have a job-and I save up often anyway. Plus, I already told you that I would treat you to somewhere nice. We're going to the shopping mall later, so you can buy stuff there with your own money, anyway". 

"Yeah, but...I feel bad, because...Um, n-no one has ever treated me before...". 

"Is that so? Well, lemme get this one, okay? I don't mind at all". 

"...". 

As Shinpachi paid the bill, with a naive smile on his face, Atsuko felt bad about him paying. And she knew from then that she had to do something for him to. Something nice. Shinpachi's chair creaked against the floor. He was standing up. Atsuko, upon hearing the noise, raised her head and stood, too. 

"Ready to go?" He asked, recieivng a nod and a faint smile. Nervously, she grasped her handbag in both hands and followed Shinpachi-No. She walked right beside him-out the door. Alert and fully aware of their sudden leave, Otae also stood up from her chair. 

"Gin-san, they're leaving! Let's go!" 

She pulled on his sleeve with intent to use full force. At that, Gintoki rolled his eyes and quickly paid for the service before also standing up. This was already tiresome. 

"Ah, are you two leaving already?!" Kondo questioned with a genuinally upset demeanor. 

"Sorry, Gorilla. This woman's paranoid about her brother, so yeah, we're leaving". 

"But I didn't even get the chance to ask about Otae-san, yet!" 

"I already told ya:". Gintoki began as he was dragged out the door. "She's obsessing over her little brother. Say hi to Hijikata for me". 

"Will do...!" 

The two left, leaving Kondo to finally pick up those two teas instead of leaving Hijikata waiting any longer. He felt bad. Kondo suddenly felt really bad...Better hurry. And, for good measure, don't bring up all the embarrassing stuff he mentioned to Gintoki. Yeah. Better that way. 

... 

Otae dragged Gintoki along as she followed her happy little brother like a hawk. It was a relief to see that they weren't holding hands yet, or kissing in public-It was a relief for Otae, at least. All day they followed with no results coming to pass; nothing to tell her that things were moving far to quickly, or that girl was using him. As far as the eye could see, the girl paid for her own stuff throughout the shopping center and not once did she ask for anything. But Otae kept her guard up: always. 

Their date had ended eventually. It had to. After a half-an-hour walk from town, to the housing and apartment areas around, the two had reached a spot. This spot had only a bench, and two vending machnes in which Otae and Gintoki hid behind as they listened in to their good-bye. This place was near to Otae's apartment and a nearby convenience store. 

"Hey, this was the place where we first met". Atsuko pointed this fact out as her eyes were affixed on the bench where she once sat, and cried into her hands before Shinpachi came along and asked if she was okay. 

"Yeah, it is. Wasn't too long ago, either...". 

"Haha, when you put it like that, going out with you now seems kinda crazy, huh? But...I'm happy. I...I am happy that...I'm going out with you, Shinpachi-kun. I know a lot of girls don't appreciate you, but I think you're sweet and kind...I've never met a boy quite like you before". 

"R-really...?" 

They paused. Otae, with her back against the side of the vending machine, averted her eyes when she felt Gintoki's gaze scorch into her, as if to say "you were worried for nothing. She seems nice. Give her a break". But still... 

"Well, I'm gonna head home. I guess I'll...see you tomorrow at school. Ah, better yet...Why not text eachother tonight?" 

"S-sure, definitely". 

"I'm glad. Well...see ya. Have a good night". 

Shinpachi would have offered to walk her home. He would have, but he hesitated and didn't offer at all. He watched her go, farther and farther away. Straightening out a fairy happy expression, Shinpachi sighed and turnes around towards the vending machines. 

"You're not discreet at all, you guys...If you were gonna watch over us, you coulda tried being a little less...like yourselves". 

"...". 

The game was up. Shinpachi wasn't dense, just naive in some places. Otae stepped out first of all and faced her brother with a rather concerned and guilty expression on her face. Gintoki stood back, leaning against the vending machine to watch over this scene like it was some shoujo series, or drama. But this was obviously nothing like that. 

"Sis'...Why did you watch over us?" 

"...I...Shin-...Shin-chan, I just...I'm worried about you. I don't want to see you get hurt by a girl who's probably toying with you. I had to see for myself and-". 

"Okay...". He interupted, firmly. "I...I get is, Sis'...I get it. I can't really yell or get angry, 'cause the truth is I would probably do the same for you. But...Atsuko-chan is a really nice girl, and I like her a lot. Sure, it's not love or anything, but we do like eachother, and I'm happy. So, now that you've seen us together...Can you be just a little bit happy for us? Please, Sis'...". 

"Shin-chan...". 

With a sigh, Gintoki stood up straight. Stuffing his hands in his pockets, he walked past the two and managed to slap Shinpachi's shoulder on his way. 

"You heard the kid. He's happy. The least you could do, as his sister, is be happy for him. If that girl is toying with him, or wants to hurt him in anyway, I'll be sure to step in along side you if it's that bad. But, Otae-san, you should learn that kids need to grow up. Your brother needs to grow up and feel the sting of heart-break when it inevitably comes. When it does, the only job you'll have is to comfort him and to held mend his broken heart with love and understnading that he did his best. That's what family's supposed to do, right? See ya both later. And good luck, Shinpachi". 

The two sblings were silent, but smiled and appreciated those words in their own way. As much as she hated to admit it, Otae knew Gintoki was right. Those wise words often came out of nowhere. He was truely an unpredictable man. But he could be respected and his words of wisdom were secretly admired. Otae and Shinpachi looked at eachother, still smiling. 

"Shin-chan, why not...tell me about this girlfriend of yours? Of course, I can't make a complete judgement until I meet her myself, but that will come with time, right?" 

"Sis'...!" 

Shinpachi leapt forward to wrap his arms around his big sister and hug her tightly. She hugged back, petting her brother's hair, just like when they were kids. In fact, when was the last time they hugged? Ever? 

"Settle down...Come on, let's go home and you can tell me everything". 

"Yes...I will, Sis'...". 

Otae thought she could be more trusting. But, as she said, she had no complete opinion of this girl until they met. That decision-as to when they meet-was to be decided by Shinpachi. Hopefully it would be soon. Hopefully the girl was nice and didn't put up a front. Hopefully she wouldn't hurt Shinpachi too much, or ever. Otae hoped from the bottom of her heart as she held back her previous thoughts about this girl whom she had not met. There was no ideal image of this girl in Otae's mind...Just an image, a smile, and the hope that Shinpachi would get the respect he deserved, and that she would receive the same if that's what she truely deserved. 

... 

Returning to the apartment, later in the evening, Gintoki immediatly saw Kagura sitting on the sofa. The T.V wasn't on, and she appeared to be staring at something. Her expression was unclear, having only seen her back for a moment. 

"Oi, Kagura, I'm back". He said this quite clear as he slipped out of his shoes and walked to the living room, ready to sit down on his ass and wait for Hijikata to arrive. 

"Welcome back, Gin-chan". She finally greeted him and raised her head away from whatever was in her hand. When sitting down on the sofa beside Kagura, Gintoki got a peek. No, he was allowed to look. "Look here, Gin-chan. Ryuu and I went to the photo booth in the shopping center and took pictures. See?" 

Peering over, eyeing the pictures, Gintoki finally got a good look at this kid. His appearance wasn't very outgoing or exaggerated in a fashion sense. He looked like any other fourteen-year-old kid; short, spiked up brown hair, green eyes. He managed ti smile happily as well, although the picture captured a red blush across his cheeks. 

"Wow. Guess you two had fun". 

"Yup. I know the photo booth wasn't on the list you gave me, but I thought it would be fun anyway". 

"The list was soley made up for suggestions. What you guys wanna do for your first dates is up to you. So, where did you go?" 

"A fast food place, the cinema, and then we wandered around the shopping mall and took these pictures at the little booth by the fountain. It was really fun...". 

"...Have you gotten to like Ryuu-kun a little more?" 

Kagura didn't look up at Gintoki. She had heard his question. Instead her gaze was averted the other way and a sense of anxiousness radiated from her. But, soon enough, she gave a nod. It was hesitant and uncertain, but it was a nod. 

"Gin-chan...Were you...embarrassed about liking Hijikata-san? I mean, did it feel...weird?" 

Gintoki thought back. In order to answer this question honestly, thinking all the way back to the beginning was necessary. He inhaled and exhaled deeply, leaning right back against the sofa. The memories returned fairly slowly when you consider everything that's happened until then. Things like embarrassment for dating Hijikata, for showing him affection and having a physical relationship in addition, the embarrassment and the denial that haunted him all those months ago seemed so unreal. As if he had never felt that way in the first place. But he did. It took its time to come back to him, that's all. 

"I did. It was awkward and weird. But as I got to know him more, I had to come to terms with the fact that I liked him a lot more than I realised. A lot more than when we first met, at least. I do like Hijikata. I'm still learning to like him. It's pretty strange, huh?" 

"If...If you both like eachother, then it's not strange. If you've grown to like eachother, then you don't have to feel bad about going out with him...Right?" 

Hearing such a quiet voice come from such an obnoxious and outspoken girl like Kagura made Gintoki feel uneasy. Her facial expression; the guilt and the saddness; it made him feel uneasy. 

"Kagura, is...there something you wanna tell me?" 

She shook her head, her fingers clinging to the strip of small photographs in hand. 

"No...I think I'll go to bed. Goodnight, Gin-chan". 

"Wait a minute. Have you eaten dinner?" 

"I had a bean bun on the way back. Night...". 

"...Goodnight". 

The same scene played out before Gintoki; Kagura walked upstairs to her room with her head hung low. It was a sad thing to watch, especially when unaware of her feelings and what was going through her head. He had asked, and she wasn't being honest with him. To push her too far without receiving results would probably upset her, or make her feel stressed. If need be, Kagura would probably open up to Gintoki and tell him the truth; tell him about why she's acted so strangely lately. Something was going on, but characters like her needed the time and space to convey her feelings when the time felt right. Kagura always hid her true feelings, and only spoke out when she was with someone she trusted. Itmwas a rare occassion for Kagura to be troubled by anything as she was usually so happy and carefree. Seeing like this, betting it was over this boy, Gintoki felt his heart sink. Take your time...Take your time, Kagura, and tell him when you're ready to. He'll listen. He'll listen and be the one to pat you on the head and tell you that everything will be okay, that you should face your fears head on and charge at full speed to overcome them. As her guardian, it was Gintoki's wish. 

... 

Late during the evening, Hijikata came over and-with the weight of work and a late shift dragging him down-he didn't want to wait for a hot shower and a long night spent alseep under warm sheets. Kagura had gone to bed, Gintoki had finished up in the bathroom, and Hijikata finally got his wish granted. In loose, fittng bedtime clothing, Hijikata lay under Gintoki's bedsheets upright, with one of his novels in hand. The lamp was still on. He was reading despite being tired. How dedicated and determined was he to finish until the next book. Flicking off the bathroom light switch, Gintoki smiled faintly. What Kondo told him that afternoon stuck with him. The feeling stirring around his thoughts and his chest was pure giddiness. 

Sliding into bed, right beside Hijikata, Gintoki remained sitting upright for a while. Hijikata was so focused on the book with such a serious face. For some reason, Gintoki found such an expression to be irresistably adorable. Considering the circumstances, it felt a little overbearing, but...Gintoki leaned in and relaxed on all fours. Closing his eyes, he placed a very delicate kiss on Hijikata's cheek and by his ear. Curious... 

"What're you doing...?" Hijikata asked, taken aback, but in a good way as his slight smirk of embarrassment showed. 

"What? I can' give you my kisses? Ungrateful...When are you gonna turn of the lamp?" 

"Five more minutes". 

Gintoki huffed, and collapsed onto his side in a comfortable position. He stared up at Hijikata. His smile returned. Hijikata noticed this soon enough. Distracted away from his book, he stared down at Gintoki with the same bashful smirk. 

"What...?" He asked. In response, Gintoki rolled over onto his other side. Hiding his face away may have seemed just as suspicious, but he wanted to be a little bit teasing here. 

"Nothin'...". 

"What do you mean "nothing"? Hm? Seriously, what's gotten you into such a good mood?" 

"Nothin' really...I mean, someone said some nice things about me today". 

"Oh, did they now?" 

"Yup...". 

A pause, a bashful silence, and then Hijikat's sharp wits came into play. 

"Kondo-san said something to you, didn't he?" 

Gintoki immediatly turned back onto his other side, propping his head up onto his hand. 

"So, is it true that I'm the best you've ever had?" Hijikata rolled his eyes. He was unable to look at Gintoki. 

"Oh my god...Are you seriously asking me this?" 

"Hell yeah, I am. What is it you like so much? Being bottom? Top? Or is both so incredible that you go around telling your old friend that having sex with a guy is the "best you've ever had"? Took a lotta guts for you to say that". 

"I-it's not really any of your business...What I talk about to Kondo-san is my business so...". 

"But it is my business. Knowing that I'm your best is a huge deal. I'm the only guy you've ever slept with to boot!" 

"Look, can we drop it? I'm a little uncomfortable". 

"Fine. Whatever. Be that way. But just so you know, knowing that I'm the best sex you've ever had is a huge boost in my confidence. Be sure to receive only the best from now on". 

"Goodnight, Gintoki". Hijikata muttered, brushing off every word of that as he continued on with his book. 

Gintoki turned on his other side again and waited patiently for the light to be switched off so that they could both get to sleep. In the quiet moments that past-only a few seconds or so-Gintoki felt the need to add on to the conversation that Hijikata had brushed off in discomfort. He had to say it. They would be even then. 

"Hijikata...You know, you're the best I've had, too...Really. I'm not just talking about the physical stuff. Nobody's ever made my heart race like that...Ever. Haa...That makes us even, so there". 

Gintoki smirked to himself. There was absolutely no way for Hijikata to ignore that. And he didn't. For a moment he sat there with red cheeks and wide eyes. Gulping, Hijikata relaxed a little and sighed deeply with the faintest smile. Leaving the bookmark between pages, Hijikata shut the book in hand and put it aside before turning off the light with a quiet "click". The bedsheets rustled and adjusted as Hijikata moved in closely to Gintoki and wrapped his arms around him securely. He hugged Gintoki, snuggling him and the pillow under his head comfortably. 

"Idiot..That doesn't make us even, you just one-upped me". 

"Oi, I said something nice and meaningful. Does it matter if I did any more or not?" 

"...I guess. But, you're right. I feel the same way. It's weird, but when we started dating...When we had our very first kiss, my heart was racing the whole time". 

"...Heh. Me too...". 

The embarrasment wasn't as strong of a wave as the joy and the little bit of happiness in their relationship. It was like a tide crashing down so suddenly, but it was a rush. Something they had never felt before. Although it was unpleasant in the beginning, their hearts continued to race and the anxiety washed away. This wasn't so embarrassing. If anything, it was nice and relaxing, peaceful, an endearing moment they shared. Turning around once more, Gintoki faced Hijikata and snuggled him then with a strong pair of arms wrapping around him as well as a air of lips touching his forehead. Such a nice feeling was probably hard to come by during adulthood. This idea rooted from Gintoki's inexperience; how he had never felt this before, so it seemed rare to come by. It was rare for him, at least-for them. It was hard to imagine having this type of warm, fuzzy feeling again with anyone else. Gintoki couldn't begin to imagine it. So far, Hijikata was the only one. He was a part of this "first experience". It made it feel special. Teenage romance probably felt similar. But as adults...No, this wasn't as easy-going and fickle as teenage romance. What Gintoki had with Hijikata...It felt more real, despite being his first. For a moment, he thought that nothing could quite compare to this. And it was actually true. Nothing could comare to this feeling he shared...Nothing at all. 

... 

... 

Only a few days went by, and already Shinpachi and Atsuko were pretty close. Not "I love you" close, but still pretty close. While they were having their date after school, Gintoki was having his with Hijikata since time was precious and their jobs often took up that time. So, while they were both decidedly free, Hijikata invited Gintoki out. Nothing special was planned, but an afternoon together, doing anything at all was sufficient enough until Hijikata had to return to work later in the evening. 

The air outside was crisp and cool, the clouds shrouding over the sky and shedding a very faint grey. Today was quiet, and lacked colour. The leaves persistently clung to their branches even when withering through the season. Hijikata had waited for a while before taking out a cigarette from the pack. Sliding it between his lips, he lit it up and started his first cigarette of the afternoon. The relief washed over him. That wasn't necessarily a good thing coming from such a filthy habit. Gintoki was mostly glad he gave it up when he did, other times he missed the great relief, the ease and fufillment of smoking. Sometimes this played back in his head and he would end up craving one. Then again, for the sake of those two kids, he didn't want to go back down that road. 

"So...". Hijikata said with a sigh of smoke pouring from his lips, intertwind with the cold air. "Where are those kids off to? You said they were going on dates, but...". 

"Shinpachi is. I think he went to the bowling alley with his girlfriend. Kagura is at home right now, since, apparently, the boy she's going out with had to stay home and look after his dad". 

"I see. Does it...feel odd talking about it?" Gintoki's eyebrow arched. 

"What do you mean by that?" Hijikata then shrugged. Such vague expressions... 

"I guess since you watch over those kids as their guardian; does it feel weird, knowing that they're going on dates with someone? Obviously they'll spend less time away from home and...". 

"Hey, they're growing up pretty fast, and no one can really prevent that. I'm not too worried. I've met them both, and both kids seem nice. Although I'm a little concerned about Kagura".

"How so...?" Even Hijikata's concern was evident in his tone and quick interest, but he remained calm and collected.

"She's...I-it's difficult to explain. The way that she's been acting makes me questuohher feelings for the boy. I don't know if she really likes him or not-no matter how much she says that she does". 

"Hm...If she won't tell you, you might as well leave her to it". 

"That's what I thought as well...I wish she'd talk to me, but it's not like I tell her much either. We've spoken about my relationship with you to some extent, only gecause she asked, so I hope that gives her some confidence to trust me and believe that I can help her. Or something like that...". 

"She's probably just anxious. Give it time, and she'll talk to you". 

"I know. Y-yeah, I got it. Thanks, Hijikata". 

"No problem. We still getting coffee?" 

Gintoki smiled, scratching his cheek. 

"You are. I'm getting a hot chocolate; something sweet. All the more bitter drinks are up your alley, not mine". 

"You've had coffee before". 

"Once or twice, with sugar and milk, maybe cream. Or I just drink coffee milk". 

"You're such a kid...". 

"And what?!" Gintoki exclaimed, bringing out a quiet chuckle from Hijikata as the sudden mood change surprised him in a good way. "Geez...Hurry up and take my hand. It's cold out". 

Hijikata sighed, letting the smoke from the drag exhale past his lips. Without arguing-just sighing-Hijikata grasped Gintoki's hand and felt the tingling run through his fingers. Warm. It was very warm. Why didn't he wear gloves today? Must have forgotten. No one was around, although it was still broad daylight. At this point Gintoki didn't give a damn as long as he could warm up and prevent pins and jeedles cutting off the circukation in his hands and fingers. The warmth provoked a shudder, and then relief. 

"Better...?" Hijikata asked. He didn't care, either. This was nice every once in a while. 

"Much better. Thanks...Haah, let's get those drinks. I need something hot and sweet to drink. Maybe a cake too...". 

"Haha, cut it out, will ya? You won't make it any easier if you keep talking about it". 

A few eyes followed them for a second or two. Some were joined by smiles and disbelief from teenage girls, their hearts racing as their inner fujoshi came out of nowhere in front of their friends who probably prefered shoujo or reversed harems. But they didn't fully understand it. At some point, this stuff was easier. It wasn't totally smoothed out and perfect, and could be difficult on many occassions, but the concept of holding hands in public was nothing short of a nice, romantic gesture for all couples. They did realise that they were being stared at, which was a sign to let go and put their hands back in "Mr-and-Mrs-Pocket", or "Mr-and-Mr-Pocket", if you wanted to go down that road. With the increase of population around them, holding hands as if it was normal became nerve-wracking and, thus to avoid total embarrassment, they let go and stuffed their hands safely into their own pockets. They continued down the street. And as they did...something caught their eye. Well, in particular, Gintoki stopped and fell into curiosity and suspicion. His feet stopped, his mind went blank, and he opened his ears to listen in. 

"Gintoki...?" Hijikata questioned in total puzzlement. 

... 

Within the bowling alley, Shinpachi sat aside and watched Atsuko take her turn on a round of split pins. A Spare was out of reach, but even then he cheered for her and sipped his soda to keep his voice from going dry. Putting aside their activity of bowling, the two had spoken a lot since they arrived. They learned so much from eachother. Sitting quietly, Shinpachi stared at Atsuko as she tried to pick out a ball to swing down the alley. He couldn't prevent this singular thought that muttered bashfully: "She's beautiful", "she's so charming", "I like her", "I really like her". His heart skipped a beat, eyes darting down to his feet which reminded him of the goofy and unattractive bowling shoes that he had to wear. Shinpachi felt embarrassed. 

"Okey-dokey...I guess I'll go with~...this one". 

Shinpachi raised his head and was stunned. Atsuko had gone for the black ball; the heaviest by far. Her fingers slid through the three holes and her attempt to pick it up would inevitably lead to failure. 

"Atsuko-chan, not that ball!" Shinpachi stood up and lunged forward. He held the ball underneath before it weighed her down, and placed his hand over hers on instinct. "It's too heavy-". 

"Haah...!" 

Atsuko's instincts, on the other hands, forced her to gasp and drop the ball to the floor when Shinpachi touched her hand. With a loud thud, the ball collapsed to the floor and slowly began to roll away. Shinpachi managed to atop it with the base of his foot. 

"Ah, geez...You should try and be careful, Atsuko-chan. These are heavy. It could have landed on your foot and seriously hurt you". 

"I-I'm sorry. I was so surprised when you...". 

"Eh...?" Seeing Atsuko's face, Shinpachi thought back to about five seconds ago. Now they both had red cheeks and an aura of silliness floating around them. It was silly, having only accidentally touched her hand. "Ah! I should be the one who's sorry then! I'm sorry, Atsuko-chan. That must've been awkward". 

"N-no, it's alright. Besides, this, right now, feels even more awkward, huh?" 

"...". Shinpachi was disheartened but his shy smile never faded. Neither did Atsuko's. 

"I don't hate it...Awkward stuff like this. It makes our relationship feel more...lively, y'know?" 

"I don't know if I'd put it that way, but I suppose you're right. It feels normal. I've never had a girlfriend before, so even the awkward things feel special". 

"R-really...?"

Unfamiliar. That was the feelng that Atsuko radiated from her expression and body language. She was unfamiliar with this. Perhaps not the concept of dating, but his words. That was a hunch. When thinking about the likelyhood that Atsuko had experience, the reason for her reaction right now was narrowed down to Shinpachi's words; that the "awkward things felt special". It made him wonder. It made him even worry about what kind of relationships she had before. Using that word "relationships", as in plural, more than one...It made Shinpachi feel uneasy in both mind and his stomach. 

The silence dragged on, and to break it Atsuko's phone flashed and pinged. She had received a text. A little startled by it, she apologised and quickly took it out from her blazor's pocket. Another moment of silence, and a look of dismay crossing Atsuko's face before she blanked and put her phone back in her pocket. What was that about? Shinpachi couldn't stop himself from pondering the question. 

"Alright...". She muttered when heading back towards the rack of bowling balls. "Why don't we continue-?" 

It happened again, only this time the ringtone changed and it was clear that she was getting a phone call. But from whom? Taking out her phone from her pocket once more, Atsuko let out a deep sigh and excused herself. 

"I'm really sorry, Shinpachi-kun. I'll take this outside, so wait for me, okay?" 

"Sure. Take your time". His concern was overwhelmed by his desire to smile and not give off any suspicion towards her. She, too, smiled back when walking towards the exit with her phone in hand. Shinpachi watched her reach the exit, putting her phone to here ear. He sat down with his soda, and waited. His smile curved and straightened out. What was this anxious feeling? This worry? He didn't want to make assumtions that went as far as "it's probably just her friend bothering her over the phone", or "maybe it's her mother". He wondered, and he tried to accept it. He tried. 

... 

"I told you not to call me anymore...Well, you're the-...You're the one who-...! Stop interupting me already, it's annoying!" 

That was the point when Gintoki arrived, standing outside the bowling alley out of sheer coincedence, or perhaps Dues Ex Machina, but with suspicious phone calls between Shinpachi's girlfriend and god-knows-who. He was just in time-the turn of the plot for the writer and the readers to see the new character do something suspicious behind someone else's back. Textbook writing. But this wasn't some textbook mystery novel or drama. In the eyes of every character in a story, this was real life, and this scene before Gintoki was horseshit. Who the hell was she speaking to so harshly behind Shinpachi's back? Who, goddammit? 

"Don't call me again, or sends texts, or any of your disgusting photos. I'm blocking your number right now. Good-bye...". 

Atsuko was firm with words, and obviously enraged. Hanging up, she clicked several tabs on her phone and soon enough sighed in relief. Staring down at the blank screej of her cellphone, an expression of guilt crossed her features instead of anger. Was she thinking about Shinpachi, or herself? Without noticing Gintoki, Atsuko turned right back around and headed into the bowling alley once more with her head held high. It was forced, but maybe she was determined to keep up a happy face for her boyfriend. Seemed likely. 

"Gintoki, is something wrong? That girl... Considering the scene we're at now, and you're reaction towards that girl, I'd have to take a wild guess and say she's-". 

"Yeah, you hit the nail on the head. She's Shinpachi's girlfriend. Like I said, they were going bowling today. What a coincidence that I would arrive to hear such a suspicious phone call, huh?" 

"Are you gonna discuss it with him?" 

"And tell him what? I have no proof who it was. Could be an ex-boyfriend, or some guy harrassing her. Maybe a friend who's bothering her?" 

Gintoki stuck his pinky finger into his ear. The gesture was brushed off by Hijikata, no matter how disgusting that habit was. Nobody ever said he would be going out with a clean-freak Gintoki. That would be a laugh. Back on topic... 

"I suppose you're right. What can you do but let things run its course? Unless Shinpachi suspects something himself...". 

"Mm...He's not dense. Not mind-numbingly dense, anyway. He may find out on his own. If guilt and remorse has anything to do with it, her secret will eventually slip through the cracks whether she tells him what's going on, or he finds out on his own. Let's not get involved, unless, for some reason, we should. Let's get going now. I'm really fucking cold, so a hot chocolate would be ideal". 

"Right. Let's hurry, then, before you freeze your ass off. It's still only September, right?" 

"Shut up, I can't stand the cold, alright? I prefer warm blankets and cuddling up than this shit". 

Indeed he did; as well as comfort foods and Hijikata. Gintoki's concers were left aside for now. Not forgotten or abandoned, but a mere figurative pin was put in it and left there until it was necessary to remove it and intervene in some way. He was worrying about Shinpachi now, too. When would his worries end? He walked through the street with a quick glance directed towards the bowling alley. Shinpachi... Gintoki wanted him to be wary, to not fall deeper into this relationship if he would get his heart ripped to shreds rather than facing mere heart-break or slight, emotional pain. Kagura was the same, in Gintoki's eyes. They both didn't deserve to be hurt in first place, but the smallest sting was necessary for them to grow up. They knew this...And it made things a tiny bit easier. 

... 

Shinpachi had tucked away his cellphone after receiving a long text from his sister. After replying, he put it away and waited for Atsuko. Only, she returned sooner than expected, with yet another apology and a smile to reassure him. 

"Sorry about that. Um, I suppose we should get back to it". 

"Huh? Oh, yes, we should. Then we can get something to eat in a minute, if you're hungry". 

"Mm-hm, sure...". 

Lingering around, side-by-side, felt awkward, especially when Shinpachi felt so concerned. He was curious, but he couldn't ask. He was worried, but he couldn't be worried. He had to trust that there was nothing wrong, and he should ignore the turning of his stomach or the dry feeling in his throat. That all worsened when Atsuko reached out and subtly slid her fingers around Shinpachi's hand. She was nervous-trembling-as was he. They were silent. Shinpachi's cheeks were flushed. And then, he remembered. 

"Ah, Atsuko-chan, my Sister sent a text to me just now. She wondered if you would like to come over to dinner sometime, whenever your free. She insisted, so...". 

"Huh? Is...Is that really alright?" 

"Sure. She said that she wants to get to know you a lot better, so you're free to come by". 

"I...I would like that. Yes". 

"Great. I'll text her right now". 

Worry and concern traveled in and out of Shinpachi's thoughts. Atsuko did appear quite distressed, after all. To brush it off seemed as scummy as hiding a pile of collected dust under the rug without dealing with it properly and forgetting about it. Stuff like that comes back; the dust could smell and fill lungs; leaving this subject alone could cause more worry and impact Shinpachi's very first relationship. But he tried not to think about it now. It could have been nothing, as far as he knew. And it was left at that. For now, it was left alone. The pin was placed, and left behind for the time being. 

... 

Gintoki returned home during the afternoon, just before the evening's beginning. The place appeared empty, and knowing he was alone after saying his good-byes to Hijikata for the night made the emptiness more whole. That is until he called out to Kagura, and quickly heard a pair of footsteps storm across the floor in her bedroom, leading out the hallway. Her door opened casually despite the stomping in her room, and she peered out with a blank face. 

"Hey, Gin-chan. Done with your date?" 

"Yeah. Hijikata has the night shift tonight, but I'l be able to see him on in a couple days. How are you doin'? Heard anything from Ryuu-kun yet?" 

"Nuh-uh. Well, he did send me a nice message during lunch period. But since then he hasn't tried to text back". 

"I see. He's looking after his Father, huh? Trynto give him some support. At least one message should be enough. You don't want to distract him or bother him on accident, do you?" 

"No...Hey...Gin-chan...". 

Kagura came down the stairs. Her steps were slow and she appeared to be anxious about something. It had been that way for the past few days. Kagura stopped before Gintoki, and he waited for whatever she wanted to say with crossed arms and a straight expression. Not a word left her lips, and she bit her bottom one without looking directly up at Gintoki. 

"Is...something wrong, Kagura. You can tell me, y'know". 

"I know...Yeah, I...I know, Gin-chan. Um...Can I tell you something important? It's private, though". 

"Shoot. I'm listening". To seem less intimidating, Gintoki kneeled down in front of Kagura. She stood a little taller thus is was easier for her to speak to him and look at him. 

"I...I like Ryuu...". Gintoki gave a nod. Yes, that had been established numerous times, but the more Gintoki heard it the more he was uncertain if that was really the case. That uncertainty was cleared up, finally. "I do like him...And you've supported us the whole time. But...I feel bad. I like Ryuu, but...I don't understand this stuff. I don't think he really understands it either. I want to like him the exact same way, but a part of me misses being friends. I was his only real friend at school, and I said to him that I would never hurt him-and I meant it. I promised, but...". 

"Kagura, it's okay. You can say it, and cry your eyes out if you want. Whatever it is then-...". 

"I felt so sorry for him...". Gintoki was interuoted by Kagura's cracking voice. She swallowed, and inhaled deeply to calm down. She didn't cry. She just continued. "N-not in a sympathetic way...More like empathy. I knew what it was like to be left alone to look after a parent, and I didn't want him to cry like I used to. So, I became his friend. It was fun, and we laughed a lot. For a while he forgot about all his worries and he took care of his Papi with a smile. Then...Then he asked if I would be his girlfriend...and...". 

Kagura's hands began to tremble. The image made Gintoki's heart sink, as much as he hated it; this feeling. 

"Oi, Kagura, it's alright. So...Haa...C'mere, ya brat. Bring it in". Gintoki sat up on his knees and outstretched his arms reluctantly. Kagura accepted it, and moved in for that hug. With his arms wrapped around her, Gintoki pet Kagura's hair as he uncomfortably uttered caring words. He was her guardian, and a friend. This was his job since the baldy and er stupid big brother were never around to do it. "It's alright. You're allowed to cry, y'know". 

"I'm not crying...". She really wasn't. Instead of bawling her eyes out, Kagura hid her face in Gintoki's shoulder and grumbled. Her slender arms were wrapped around his neck securely, and he rolled his eyes. Her tone and her actions did not match at all. 

"I don't do this hugging and comforting thing often, but this is a special circumstance, alright? I know you'll orobably get upset or angry, but I think you should tell Ryuu-kun the truth. You should break up...". 

"B-but...". 

"I know what you were doing; you didn't want to hurt him, did you? I completely understand, but right now if you drag this on, not only with he live in naivety and without doubt, but you'll only be hurting yourself, Kagura. I don't want that. Ya understand? Tell him, and share the sting of teenage heart-break before it gets any worse. Ya got it?" 

A nod crossed his shoulder, marking the moment when they pulled away from the hug, and Gintoki offered a smile. Although her eyes were welling up, Kagura held back and smiled too. It would hurt, surely, but it couldn't be any worse if she dragged this on. Kagura wanted to like Ryuu in the same way, but she couldn't because their friendship meant so much more to her. It still did. This was her first break-up, so it wouldn't be easy. However, being the more confident and outspoken Kagura, she would find a way to end it bluntly, but kindly. 

"Thanks again, Gin-chan. I'll do my best". 

"I know. And it's okay if you get hurt, there's no shame in it. This time, nobody expects you to hold your head high. If ya need another one of those hug-thingys, I'll be there". 

"Mm...Okay". 

If it rarely happened, Gintoki was willing to open up with a hug. Kagura recognised how warm it was-surprisingly warm. His hugs didn't match his cold attitude. And, for a moment, she wondered if that was because of Hijikata. It must have been nice to be absolutely crazy for someone. There was no doubt in her mind: that's how it was between them. Any arguments and...Well, best not to say anything, then. 

... 

...

"Welcome, Atsuko-chan".

"Thank you for having me. Er, is it alright if I call you Nee-san?" 

"Sure, of course. Come on in, make yourself at home". 

Otae had initiated this. The dinner was her idea as a way of getting to know Atsuko better without judging her in the slightest. But her nerves were shaken. In that event... 

"Oh, you're...". 

In that event, Otae had invited Gintoki as well. He gave a wave, sitting in front of the kotatsu with a serving of tea-still hot wth fresh leaves-and a sense that said he was ut of place. His presence was unexpected, even from Shinpachi who stood at the entranceway (right after walking Atsuko to the apartment), astonished. In comparison, Otae acted normally and invited them both into the smaller, more cosy and comfortable apartment. 

"I already made some tea, so get comfortable until dinner is ready. Do you like tea, Atsuko-chan?" 

"Y-yes, I do like tea". 

"I'm glad". Otae announced happily, clasing her hands together with a friendly smile. "Please, enjoy". 

Wait, she was being friendly? At the very least, she was holding it together instead of bombarding the girl with different questions about previous relationships and her feelings for Shinpachi. Did she really need Gintoki to be there for morale support, then? Yes, she did. Oh, yes she did. Bowing politely, Atsuko made herself at home, although she was naturally a little awkward when sitting right beside Shinpachi at such a small table. To make this less awkward, Gintoki excused himself and stood to his feet to help Otae in the kitchen. 

"Oi, Otae-chan, why did you bring me here again?" 

"Gin-san, I explain already...". She whispered, still smiling. "I need you here to keep me from saying anything...too outrageous. I can be a little much sometimes, but for Shinpachi I want to tone it down and show this girl that I care for my brother and his life choices. I want to get to know her, to reassure myself that she's a lovely person whom will make Shin-chan happy". 

"You say that as if this is some kinda meet-and-greet for marriage. You're jumping too far ahead, slow down, will ya?" 

Gintoki glanced over his shoulder. The sounds of vegetables being chopped entered his ear canal, thus blocking out the conversation between the couple sitting at the table. They talked among themselves, smiling and even quietly laughing with eachother. It was a nice image. 

"Seems nice, doesn't it? They look kinda good together; unlike anything I've ever had". 

"Ha, we know that's not true, Gin-san. What about you and Hijikata-san?" 

"Well, yeah, but we're not all giddy, with our heads in the clouds, are we? What I have with him is nice, but we can't be like a couple of teenagers fooling around". 

"It's true that you're not as carefree, but...Back at the summer festival last month, when I saw you two, I couldn't help but think "They actually look good together". It was very strange, now that I think about it. However, you may not have the experience of a carefree teenage romance, but what you have with Hijikata-san certainly means more than just being nice. Right, Gin-san?" 

"...Right". 

It did mean a little more, but Gintoki didn't want this woman to get carried away with words. What he had with Hijikata wasn't the most amazing thing in the world, but it was certainly something. It was different compared to whatever Gintoki used to have as a teenager with girls. They-Gintoki and Hijikata-shared a connection, something that kids like Shinpachi and Kagura wouldn't possess for a long time. That was fact, not a judgement, not a critisism. Especially with recent circumstances, it could take years for them to find a proper relationship and hold onto it for much longer than this. That was ideal. They would be much happier in the future, after all. 

... 

The minutes ticking on during the meal were not quiet. The three-excluding Gintoki most of the time out of his own volition-spoke back and forth about varies things while Gintoki jumped in to prevent Otae from asking something rude or too forward. He was needed, after all. Aside from that, Atsuko and Shinpachi mostly talked among themselves. They were having fun together at least. And all Otae had to do was stand by and say nothing, allowing Shinpachi to...walk on his own two legs, down his own path if it meant he was happy and safe. By the end of the evening, even when offered dessert, Atsuko bowed and wished them a goodnight as she made the decision to leave before it got too dark outside. 

"Are you sure you don't want to stay a little while longer?" Otae asked politely. 

"I would love to, but I do have to get home before my parents get worried. I did say I wouldn't stay out too late, after all". 

"If you're sure. Shin-chan, are you going to walk Atsuko-chan home-?" 

"Th-that isn't necessary...". Atsuko protested, bashful and feeling a little awkward. "It isn't too far from here, so don't worry. I'll text you tonight, Shinoachi-kun. Thank you for having me, too". 

"It's no problem". Shinpachi answered with a faint smile. "You're welcome anytime". 

"I'll keep that in mind. Good-bye, and thsanks again". 

Atsuko put on her shoes before exiting out the door. Shinpachi walked over to the kitchen as the silence set in, to help his sister with the washing up. Gintoki, having eaten quite a bit-thankful that Shinpachi cooked in advance, even if the food had to be frozen-felt tired and thus decided to go home, too. 

"Well, looks like I'm done here. I'm gonna go home and take a nap". 

"Ah, Gin-san...". Otae stopped Gintoki when he reached the front entrance, plastic bag in hand. He turned around for a moment to see what she had to say, only to be presented with this bag, and a smile. "I wanted to thank you properly for tonight. I didn't want to embarrass Shin-chan, so you really helped tonight". 

"It's no big deal. All I did was keep your mouth shut". 

"It's not just foe tonight. Shinpachi also wanted to thank you properly for supporting him, so here. They're yours". 

Gintoki took the plastic bag by the handles with caution, holding it away from his face. He thought for a moment that she might have tried to make tamogoyaki. No, whatever she made always turned into dark matter. That's why Shinpachi cooked prior to this. 

"It's a cake I bought foe you, to make up for the one in the café. Remember? I smashed your face into it to shut your mouth?" 

"Yeah, I remember it vividly. Well, thanks. I might share it with Hijikata, if I see him. He's been a little supportive in his own way, after all. See you guys later". 

Gintoki put on his own shoes and coat before heading out, receiving two good-byes and a wave from Otae. He was gone, and all was quiet. That left Otae to ask questions, to Shinpachi of course. Nothing that would force him into a corner, but some questions about how he was feeling and such. Nothing more. Because Otae wanted to be happy for him. She wanted him to have only the best. Of course she would, being his big sister. 

... 

Finally, the outside and the cold was in reach. After sitting on the floor for so long, Gintoki's legs ane back felt a little cramped. Nothing than a walk home couldn't fix. But, as he began walking down the street, a sense of deja vu and wariness washed over him. He listened to the voice, coming from the alley by the apartment building. He could immediatly tell it was Atsuko, having only heard her voice seconds ago. She was talking to someone. By peering around the corner, Gintoki could take a quick glance and see that she was on her cellphone. Their distance wasn't too far apart, and for that Gintoki quickly hid behind the wall and listened. This was an invasion of privacy, something that Gintoki wouldn't normally do, but her suspicious behaviour was questionable and he needed answers. 

"-It isn't like that, Chihaya". 

["Sure it is"]. Gintoki could just hear the conversation on the other end. Was it on speaker-phone? ["Honestly, Nakano-chan, you can't be serious. I mean, you only dumped Satoshi-senpai a few days ago, and you did talk a lot about how upset you were. He treated you like shit-"]. 

"I...I know...I know already". 

["Still~, Shinpachi Shimura? Were you that upset that you lowered your standards? Like, way down? You're just playing with him, right? Don't tell me you're serious"]. 

"I...Sh-Shnpachi-kun is nice enough, but...No. I can't say I'm serious about him". 

["I knew it. There are definitely worse guys out there, like Satoshi-senpai, but there are also much better guys than Shinpachi Shimura, surely"]. 

"...". 

["I say dump him already if you feel better. Find someone better looking, with a more interesting character and better taste in music"]. 

"That's asking for way too much...". 

["It's not. There are plenty of guys at our school. With your looks and cute personality, you'll find someone better in a flash"]. 

"I'll...think about it. But, Chihaya, I don't think I'll ever meet anyone as sweet as Shinpachi-kun, so...Don't get carried away with words, please". 

["Nakano-chan...?"] 

"I'm gonna go. Bye...". 

Atsuko hung up right then and there. From everything he heard, Gintoki didn't feel angry. It was odd, but he wasn't enraged, or even indifferent. He was disappointed, and felt bad for Shinpachi. He couldn't let it slide. He couldn't keep quiet. In the heat of the moment, he stepped forward from behind the wall and faced Atsuko as she was nearing the street. Her feet stopped when their eyes locked, and the fear of being caught red-handed overwhelmed her to the point were she found herself speechless, unable to even gasp. Gintoki stood frozen for a moment, but spoke soon enough. 

"How...How much did you hear?" Atsuko and asked, and thus Gintoki spoke. 

"Enough...". Atsuko nodded in understanding, but she was visibly trembling. "Atsuko, you're a nice enough girl, but knowing that you're practically toying with Shinpachi...I can't forgive that easily". 

"But I-...". 

"So, will you tell him, or should I?" 

"...!" Atsuko...didn't want either. For Shinpachi to know what she was doing...That this relationship was practically like her play-thing, although that wasn't the case per se, she felt scared. She was terrified to find out his reaction. "Can you...not tell him? I...I don't want him to find out like this. I-...". 

"He needs to know, otherwise you'll hurt him more the longer this drags out. If you don't do it, I will". Gintoki didn't speak harshly, or with force. He was calm and honest, but there was no comfort to be felt on Atsuko's part. It was mostly embarrassment and guilt-the same suspicious expressions that she often wore on her face like a mask. The only thing was that those expressions were real. She really felt bad for this, didn't she? 

"...I don't want to hurt Shinpachi-kun. I really have grown to like him since we first met, since he made me feel better. He seems happy too, so...Isn't that easier? Isn't it easier living like this if I can grow to like him more and more over time? Why ruin that? He's happy, and so am I, so...". 

There was no way she was happy; and eventually Shinpachi would let go of this temporary happiness when finding out the truth about this girl. Neither of them could be totally happily. This wasn't love or anything special. At least not to her, it seemed. She just liked Shinpachi; a young man who treated her kindly and with respect. That was the only thing that was special for her. Shinpachi had a heart, but what this girl failed to realise early on is that it was fragile, that he didn't have experience like her. How could either of them be happy? 

"...I'll tell ya what, I think I might just cushion the blow for you, and for him. I'll talk to him". 

"But-...!" 

"If you're gonna argue, then use that energy to face him and tell him the truth...I'm gonna go, so I'll see ya 'round, maybe...Either you speak to him, and end your relationship, or stay with him and drag this out to the point when you both get hurt a lot more than you would now". 

Gintoki began walking down the street with his hands stuffed into his pockets. Atsuko watched him go, and the guilt hung her head low. Not knowing what to do, she froze up. If what she was doing was so cruel, then it would have been best to break up. But...At the same time, she didn't want to end it yet. She wanted to get to know him more, let her friends and family get to know him. She liked him. At least, she wanted to. She wanted to like him much, much more without hesitating. But was that possible? Atsuko hoped so. But then, that would mean she would keep this to herself, and that man...He was really going to tell Shinpachi...What then? There was no escape from that. This meant she had to take resposibility and...cause less damage, cause a lot less pain for Shinpachi. She didn't want to hurt him, but...Wasn't he getting hurt either way? 

... 

... 

During the afternoon, of the next day, Gintok went over some studies on English with Shinpachi. An hour, at most, was spent going over the more complicated stuff for exams. Shinpachi insisted that an hour was enough as he had decided to pick Atsuko up from club that day. Throughout the many hours that passed it was difficult not to think about what Atsuko said the previous night. Gintoki had thought about it, and thought about it, and thought about it until it became something stressful and annoying. He needed air, to rid his mind of waste and annoying thoughts. Thank fucking god that he was past adolescence, and now in an adult relationship. But this wasn't about him at all. What he wanted to say and express was aimed at Shinpachi, not a mirror in the bathroom just so Gintoki could "clear the air" and get it all out of his system. After much thought, he made his decision. And he knew it would hurt. Shinpachi...would get hurt. 

"Thanks a lot, Gin-san. I think I've gotten the hang of it, so I think I should get going. I don't wanna keep Atsuko-chan waiting". 

Shinpachi began to shuffle up his papers and notes, stuffing his pencil and eraser into his sfhool bag along with them. Must have been nice to live in ignoratn bliss with your head held higher than most, always looking up without a clue about the goings-on of the earth below. Although it wasn't a bad hing necessarily, it even hurt Gintoki to see him so happy and unaware. But he must have suspected something, right? He must have worried, right? That's the type of young man Shinpachi was. 

"Shinpachi...". Gintoki called out to him just as he walked away from Gintoki's desk, and stopped. With a naive smile, Shinpachi turned around and questioned Gintoki's need to stop him. With a sigh, Gintoki stood up and approuched Shinpachi with a comforting slap on his shoulder. "Kiddo, there's...something you and I need to talk about". 

"...?" 

Gintoki's expression was rather serious. Deep down, Gintoki didn't want to say these words so casually, as if he didn't understand how Shinpachi would feel; but he understood. It wasn't exactly empathy, but he understood regardless. He understood what real pain felt like, and to him this was a little easier to come out withbecause it wasn't as bad. It didn't seem that way. But he knew that it would crush Shinpachi. He knew, hense his reluctance to speak. If only we could all live in Dandy Land with rainbows and ice-cream and girlfriends who smile and get along with everyone. If only it wasn't as easy for him to speak, to stop Shinpachi, to call out to him despite his unwillingness to speak. And by looking at Gintoki's face, Shinpachi grew worried and afraid. 

Sitting on the sofa with no real ambience or atmosphere, Gintoki explained the situation as gently as he could manage while still remaining strong and straight-forward. Shinpachi listened to his story; his story of tue suspicious phone calls, the weird behaviour, her uncertain feelings for Shinpachi after Atsuko was the one who confessed to him several days ago. It hurt, for the both of them. 

"Apparently she had a boyfriend before you, and didn't ask you out too long after they broke up. I think she wanted to feel better...".

"...". 

Not a word. Only unreadable silence from Shinpach when listening, his hands trembling even when locked together. Gintokit thought that he went too far with words. 

"Shinpachi, I'm not saying these things hurt you. I just...I didn't want to keep it from you, knowing that it would hurt you so much more if this dragged on for weeks, maybe months. And I know you. I know you want a real relationship with a lovely girl". 

"I...". Was the first thing uttered from Shinpachi's trembling lips. "I do...And I know that you're...not trying to hurt me, Gin-san. In fact, I'm...glad that you've been honest. It still hurts, though. I mean, I thought she was acting a little strangely recently-like she was hiding something from me, but I never thought...I didn't think that she could be...". 

He still didn't want to believe it. All Shinpachi ever wanted, while he was a teenager, was good grades and a girlfriend who would like him the way he was, sincerely and whole-heartedly. This was his very first girlfriend, so the harsh reality that she wasn't whole-hearted and sincere about their teenage relationship was much more painful for him. 

"It's alright. I know that won't make you feel better, or change anything, but I wanna tell you that it is alright, Shinpachi. Because the truth is that, despite all the jokes and humor against you, I do know that you'll meet someone special someday. They'll be good to you, and treat you right, just as you would for them". 

"...Thank you, Gin-san". 

"I know this is your first, but that means it's only the beginning. There's plenty of potential out there, and a lot of great girls who mature quickly. Now, I'm only saying that in the sense that you'll...so something about your relationship with Atsuko-chan. It's up to you. You're the one who decided what happens next". 

"So, you think I should-...". 

"It's not up to me. Like I said, your next moves are up to you". 

"...Alright. Then let me ask this: What would you, personally, do, Gin-san? If you found out that the person you were going out with was playing with you, toying with you, pretending to like you more than they actually did...What would you do?" 

His words were harsh, and the answer was obvious. But when thinking about Hijikara doing something like that-Gintoki stopped. He couldn't imagine it, because they weren't teens anymore. This sort of shit shouldn't happen with adults. The most "playing around" that happens is a one-night stand after a few glasses of wine or sake in a bar or night club and they both agree: "No strings attached, ya hear? A one night thing, no attachments, no feelings. Now let's get outta here". And so on. Then, all of a sudden, one of them has feelings for the other the next morning, and then who's the real victim being toyed with after a "mutal" agreement. He was going off topic in his head, and Gintoki knew this. So he stopped and actually pohdered the question for a second or two before the correct-and we repeat: correct-response came to mind in an instant after all that other shit playing back from his memories. His memories, for god's sake! 

"If it were me, looking back to when I was a teenage brat like the rest of you, I would end it. I would end the relationship then and there before the wound worsened and scarred. Is that...what you want to do, Shinpachi?" 

He paused. No, he didn't add to that affect and simply stared down at the floor. Did he have doubts? Was he hesitating? Did he want to give her another chance? Or was it too hard to say out loud without crying his eyes out from the shock and the heart-break? Tears were standing in his eyes, behind his glasses. But his voice remained sound, his composure collected, for now. 

"I'm...going to go pick her up now. Thank you for your honesty, Gin-san. Really...". 

"Oi, are you gonna be alright?" 

Shinpachi slung his school bag over his shoulder with a nod. 

"Yeah, I think so. I just need a little time to think...See you later, Gin-san". 

He saw himself out, and all was silent. It was so quiet, yet Gintoki's heart sunk so low as if he could hear it; like a rock sinking into a thick, murky puddle of mud, curdling and engulfing the rock deeper and deeper within. He sighed, leaning forward with his hands rubbing his eyes. That's when the phone on the desk rang. Raising his head, he paused for a moment, and waited for a second or two beforw standing up, walking, and answering it. 

"Hello...?" He asked casually, almost in a tiresome manner. 

["Gin-chan..."]. His mood changed when the reply came through. It was Kagura's voice. 

"Kagura? Wh-what's up? Is something wrong?" 

["Could you...come pick me up right now? Please..."]. She was quiet, more than usual, and her voice trembled through the receiver. Worrying...It was worrying. 

"Uh, yeah. Where are you exactly?" 

["The park...By the coffee place you and Hijikata-san always go to"]. 

"That isn't too far from here, you know. Why do you need me to pick you up from there?" 

["My legs are shaking really hard, so I can't walk. Please, Gin-chan..."]. 

She was shaking...Gintoki sighed and nodded in affirmative, along with a quick "okay". 

"Okay. O-okay, I'll come and get you. I'll bring the scooter, so stay where you are and...You can tell me all about, alright?" 

["Mm...Thanks, Gin-chan. You're best"]. 

"I try. Now stay put". 

Hanging up, Gintoki rushed over to the front entrance. He was picking Kagura up from a place not too far from the apartment, she was shaking, as was her voice, she didn't say much. Clearly something happened, but the true question was: "what happened that made her so upset?" It was worth finding out so he could play dad again and help her out. Of course, he had his suspcions, and thus he could do nothing about the situation other than offering comfort. That was the plan. Wait there, Kagura. Gintoki was on his way. 

... 

For a moment or two, Shinpachi stared. The moment was just right, when the wind came through the clubroom window and blew softly through Atsuko's hair. There was no use hiding it; she was beautiful. But knowing what he knew, it was hard to look at her that way without feeling like an idiot. He was an idiot. Gintoki's previous advice about being friends first, about starting a foundation...He completely ignored it without knowing the whole story behind Atsuko. It was stupid of him, and he knew it, and he hated it. 

When Atsuko noticed him standing at the door, he didn't notice her as his eyes were affixed to the ground for a moment in a daze of complicated feelings and heavy emotions that dragged him down into a put of despair and even a little self-loathing. He felt stupid. So stupid for liking his girl so soon... 

"Shinpachi-kun...Ha, sorry. I didn't see you there". He raised his head and saw her smile. "I was so engrossed by the view...". 

"N-no, it's okay". He forced a smile. "It is quite beautiful outside today, although it is getting dark pretty quickly". 

"Well, it is autumn, after all...Uhm...Ah, I suppose we should...get going". 

"Y-yeah, sure...".

It was already awkward. Already, the tension arose and made them both uncomfortable and even a little distressed inside. Atsuko passed Shinpachi with her flute case in hand, her head hung a little low even though she tried her best to force a smile. Shinpachi's diappeared when no longer facing her. He simply followed behind, and then walked beside her. Not a word. Not a single word, not even a coherent thought passing through Shinpachi's mind. His thoughts were mumbling and stumbling as he tried to hard to figure himelf out-figure out what he wanted-but he knew. By god did he know, and he back-tracked, and thought over it again and again to try and make things easier. They weren't. They were much harder the longer they stayed quiet and let their feelings slowly slip through the cracks as they walked together down the vancant hallway. 

... 

It seemed pointless taking the scooter, but considering the phone call and the state Kagura claimed to be in-that would be too shaky to walk-Gintoki forced himself to get on and make a swift journey to the park that lay ahead, just a few blocks away from the apartment complex. The sky was already growing dark as the hours slowly passed him by. But it wasn't pitch black by the time he found the park, hense finding Kagura. 

The tires of his scooter squeaked and shrieked abruptly against the road as he parked by the curb. His eyes searched the park briefly before he reached the only occupant that sat on the swings-lonesome, and blue, and clothed in a familar red, china styled hoodie and pants that could only suit a tomboy like her. The engine was shut off, and he got up with his helmet and goggles collected together on the seat. Speed-walking over was the first course of action, before slowing down, and then stopping completely in front of the swing set with his hands stuffed into his pockets. It was then that he noticed the twitching and shivering of Kagura's legs, and her distressed expression as she tried to keep them still. When Gintoki's shadow cast over her, she raised her head and her eyes became wide despite knowing he was coming. 

"...Hey". He said casually. "Wanna still talk about it?" 

"...". Kagura expression softened, and she looked back down to the ground as she ever-so-slightly swayed on the swing, and then she nodded. "Ryuu...broke up with me". 

"...? He did?" 

"Uh-huh. I know it's for the best and all, since we both don't really get this stuff, and he did say that we should still be friends...Which I'm really happy about. But...it still hurts. I never thought it would hurt this much, but it does...". 

Kagura clapsed her hands together in her lap and sighed to stop the tears from flowing. It was a shaky, concerning sigh. But Gintoki didn't coddle her. He didn't move on his own to pat her on the head and tell her to cheer up. In fact, she came to him. 

"Can I...have one of thise hug-thingys?" 

"...Sure. Get over here, bring it in, get it over with...and stop crying". 

"I'm not crying...". She repeated from last time, rushing over eagerly into Gintoki's arms, squeezing his stomach tightly. 

"Oof! O-okay, Kagura...You're gonna crush Gin-san with that strength of yours. Take it easy...". 

"...". Kagura did loosen her grip, hiding her face in Gintoki's side. 

"Better...?" He asked. 

"A little...". She replied, pulling away from him. 

"Don't worry about it, kiddo. You'll find someone else, maybe when you're a little older, and it'll be much better". 

"I hope so. 'Cause me and Ryuu only lasted for about a week". She pouted, seemingly less upset than before. She had stopped shaking too. "I'm just glad we can still be good friends". 

"That's good. Really, Kagura. See, this is all part of growing up, but you still have a long way to go. For now, since this was your very first break-up, how about we go and get ice-cream? That's what girls like when they get a broken heart, right?" 

"Sometimes...Can we really?" 

"Sure. My treat. Now get moving before it closes. I'm kinda craving a parfait anyway. Oh, and, can you walk now?" 

"Not really. Can you carry me, Gin-chan?" 

"Are you serious?" 

"Come on~, just to the scooter. I had my heart broken!" 

"Argh, fine, fine. Hop on, munchkin". 

And so Gintoki carried Kagura on his back, again. She held onto him, finally smiling in his company and comfort as her guardian. It was a short distance to the scooter, but she appreciated being this high up to look at the sky and clouds as they cleared. From this short distance, Kagura could faintly smell cigarettes from Gintoki; Hijikata's, if she recalled the musty smell of his apartment during the few times she visited. It must have been nice to have a grown-uo relationship, where both people felt secure and happy. That was them for sure. Kagura wasn't envious at such a young age, when she had only just discovered what dating someone was like, no matter how short a time it was. She was more happy than anything, more carefree-like before. Having people around her as family like Gintoki and Shinpachi, Hijikata, Otae, and many more...That was where she was happiest. Maybe when she was older, she would really seek out a relationship like Gintoki's; secure and happy. Until then, it couldn't hurt to go back to being a kid, and leave the first experiences of dating to her later years of adolescence. 

... 

It was so quiet, so nerve-wracking. Neither Shinpachi nor Atsuko had spoken since they left the school. And as they continued, Shinpachi's urge to speak and move past this grew stronger and stronger. It was now or never, no matter how nervous or scared he was. He had to speak his truth. And he had to do it now. 

"Atsuko-chan, can I...say something?" 

He had stopped walking, as did she. Her surprise was quickly overwhelmed by a familiar expression of guilt and uncertainty. 

"Is that so...?" She clenched her fingers around the handle of her instrument case. She couldn't take it already...His expression, his tone, his words...She knew where this was going. "Did...Did Sakata-san say something...to you?" 

Shinpachi was taken aback by this, but then he remembered. Gintoki wasn't lying-of course he wasn't. There was absolutely no room for doubt in Shinpachi's mind. Gintoki would never lie about that. Ever. He remained composed, and nodded. 

"He did...Was he...Was he right, Atsuko-chan?" He grew tense, his fists clenched and trembling anxiously under the pressure. "Were you just...playing with me?" 

"No...!" She cried in to protest and her voice sharply echoed in the empty street. "I wasn't...I wasn't "playing with" you...I just...I...". 

Her legs quaked underneath her, although her emotions had collapsed long before then. Her eyes welled up with tears, and remorse was clear on her features. Remorse...Guilt...She was being sincere about this, at least. And that hurt...It hurt much more than he expected. 

"Atsuko-chan, if you really weren't that serious about me, then why did you act like it? Why did you ask me to go out with you when we barely knew eachother? I don't get it at all, so unless you tell me-...". 

"I was-...I was sad, alright? I was really sad when we first met. You saw it-I was bawling in the middle of the street like an idiot until you came along, and you cheered me up...". 

Atsuko's voice was shaking. She was shaking all over. The tears welled up, on the verge of collapsing down her cheeks as if the memories of that day came back to her in every detailed mental image that upset her so. 

"What happened exactly? Do you mind telling me so I can understand? Or is it really none of my business, and you can stick with your original excuse for dating me". Shinpachi knew he sounded cold, but there was anger to keep in mind as well. As well as being hurt, he was angry at her, at himself, at whoever made her cry in the middle of the street in the first place. 

"That day...My boyfriend-Well...my ex-boyfriend tried to...force himself on me. He had been harrassing me for a while; texting me cringey messages, sending me dirty photos, asking me to do things that I didn't want to do...On that day, I had enough and I dumped him right then and there in his house. I had originally gone over to break up with him, and then he brought me inside as soon as he saw me and then...". 

"O-okay, I get it. You don't have to...say anymore". 

Atsuko fell quiet, her eyes on the ground as the tears fell. With her hand, she wiped them away and sniffled. Then she hiccuped, a trembling sigh escaping past her lips. 

"When you came along...and asked me if I was alright, I was so...relieved and happy...I was an idiot, but I wanted the pain to go away. I wanted to make myself feel better by finding a better guy-and you are, Shinpachi-kun. I just...I didn't think about your feelings and I...I did something horrible". She began to sob. The dam keeping her emotions back collapsed in the end. "I'm so...S-so sorry, Shinpachi...I'm sorry...I'm sorry...!" 

Her hands trembled, and dropped her instrument case on the pavement. She covered her eyes, hyperventalating and sniffling as the guilt and remorse crashed and piled up on top of her. It looked painful, and unbearable. She was suffering...She was really suffering. 

"Atsuko-chan...". Shinpachi murmured and approuched cautiously. Gently, he wrapped his arms around her in comfort and brought her in closer, with the thick instrument case keeping them a few inches apart. 

"N-no, don't...! I don't deserve...I don't deserve-...!" She squeaked through the sobs. Her face was buried in Shinpachi's shoulder as she cried. 

"I won't like: I'm hurt by what you did, but I've felt worse like when my father died, or from the times that I nearly lost my big sister due to dept or her selfless behaviour...Compared to that, I can get over this. We both can, Atsuko-chan. Saying that, I can't go out with you anymore, but...I still wanna help you out with this ex-boyfriend of yours". At that, Atsuko quietened down, srill hiccuping a little, still gasping and sniffling the tears away. "I'm not very strong, but when me and the Otsuu-chan fan club band together, we can do anything, so don't worry. I'm not even sure if we should be friends, but I'll think about it and come back to you on that one, okay?" 

"Shinpachi-kun...You reallynare the sweetest boy I've ever met. You're...so kind and...I feel so terrible...". 

"I know, but that's okay. Gin-san told me that mistakes are made everyday, and the least we can do is learn from them. That's something he's always lived by, and I will too". Shinpachi moved away from their hug, and wore a faint and compassionate smile. "I can't say I'll forgive you right now, but hopefully I can talk to you normally, knowing that you're in a better place, making better decisions, with better people around you. I'll be the first, so think of it as a start, okay?" 

"...I will". Her tears stopped, and she managed a very faint smile. "Thank you. I'll...I'll try to make things up to you". 

"The only thing I want you to do is to be happier, Atsuko-chan. I'll help, and decide if we can be friends. Honestly, I do kinda hope we can". 

"Me too...". 

That was that. Shinpachi had offically experienced his very first break-up, and his only one for a long time. Just as Atsuko had promised, Shinpachi had also promised himself to learn from his mistakes ane back-track to Gintoki advice about making friends before starting a relationship. If he listened in the first place, all of this might never have happened. Then again, it served as a learning curve of life for Shinpachi. Having a strong bond before complicated things like romance was the best way to go. Although he sorted things out and confronted his fears, he still ended up heart-broken. It did hurt. Oh boy did it hurt. But it was okay. Most of the pain he had experienced, this felt more like a pin prick in comparison. He would get over this. No doubt about it. All he needed was time. A little time and space to himself...Or did he? 

... 

Driving down the road, with night nearing and the ice-cream place in their sights, Gintoki and Kagura had discussed what flavours to get and what toppings to have. She was happier than before, at least. That put a faint smile on Gintoki's lips with a shake of his head as she went on and one about what ice-cream or parfait she would order; a large one at that. But as they drove up a slight hill, through a street of apartment buildings and small, local stores, Kagura caught on to the four-eyes wandering around by himself at night with his head hung low. 

"...! G-Gin-chan, in Shinpachi! Pull over, pull over, pull over!" 

"E-eh? Alright, alright! Geez!" He pulled over quickly, by the curb, where Shinpachi had frozen stiff. 

"Hey, Shinpachi! What're you doing out all by yourself?" Kagura asked, her mood better than ever. She was back to normal, at least. 

"I, er...Me and Atsuko-chan broke up today...". He muttered with a self-conscious and saddened demeanor. Gintoki was aware as to why, thus his expression was still and straight while Kagura was empathetic. 

"Really? That's okay. Me and Ryuu broke up too". 

"Ah...Ahh, s-sorry to hear that, Kagura-chan". 

"It's okay. We're still gonna be buddies, so...". 

Kagura had stopped herself mid-sentence. Shinpachi was greatly saddened and distressed from what happened. His heart was broken. Seeingnhim this way, Kagura and Gintoki gave eachother a glance, smiled and shared a nod. 

"Oi, Shinpachi, we were just going to get ice-cream to ease Kagura's pain. Wanna come with?" 

Shinpachi was quick to protest, forcing a smile as he waved his hands and backed off from the idea. 

"Thanks, but no thanks. I'm not in the mood, guys...". 

"C'mon~. Gin-chan's treating-he said so. It'll be fun, so please come along, Shinpachi". 

"I dunno...". He was still hesitating. 

"Shinpachi...". And thus, Gintoki stepped in. "I know you're heart-broken, but you should know something...Pain and heartbreak is a necessary part of growing up. But at your age, it's okay to have someone to pick up the broken pieces. Although we're not the equivilant of a girlfriend or partner, we'll still stick the pieces back together with glue and other nifty tools. That's what families do, right?". 

Gintoki was smiling kindly, with Kagura behind him; grinning and trying her best to persuade Shinpachi to get on the scooter already for some ice-cream sundaes. 

"Gin-chan's right; we're like a family. Come on, Shinpachi". 

"Shinpachi, you know you want to". 

"Pat-suan...!" 

"Pat-suan...!" 

"Spec-ta-cles...!" 

"Four-eyes...!" 

"Pa-chie-boy...!" 

"Straight man character...!" 

"Now you're just insulting me! Quit it you assholes!" Shinpachi sighed, lingering around with a smile that he could not hide. He rolled his eyes and adjusted his glasses. Without a word, he hopped on in the center of the scooter's seat, receiving a pat on the back from Kagura and Gintoki's helmet. 

"Right. Let's go get that ice-cream". 

"Yaaay~! Whoooh!" Kahura cheered, clinging ont Shinpachi's back as the engine started up again. Shinpachi, laughing quietly, clung to Gintoki's back. 

Shinpachi could not rid himself of this smile. It was faint, but it showed a lot of happiness and joy from being around these two who considered him to be family. It was pure bliss-better than he had felt when being asked out for the first time in his life. This was true happiness. The simple things, and the memories with these two people, and Sadaharu...He wouldn't ask to be anywhere else but right here. Not for the rest of his life would he have it any other way... 

"So, Shinpachi, what flavour are ya gonna get?" 

"Hmm...Vannila, I guess". 

"Ah, as expected of the straight man". 

"What's wrong with vanilla?!" 

"Nothin'. It's just kinda dull to only get vannila". 

"Well, I'm sorry for liking one flavour on its own! If it bothers you, I'll get chocolate too!" 

"Noy you're just being a pushover, Patsuan". 

"I can't win with you two morons!" 

Nothing could ever compare to this... 

... 

It was late at night. The lights were still on in Hijikata's apartment as he prepared two glasses of sake. As he did, within the kitchen, his front door opened and a tired sigh emitted when it closed. Hijikata peered over to see Gintoki leaning against the door for a moment, not taking his shoes off for a while. 

"Hey...". Hijikata greeted. "Where have you been? You look tired". This was when Gintoki took off his shoes, entered, approuched Hijikata and explained inbetween. 

"I took the kids out for ice-cream, since they both got a broken heart today". 

"Seriously? So their relationships didn't work out, then...". 

"Nope, but what can you do? All teenagers go through it. Pff, well, I didn't. I mean, I didn't date any girls in high school, so...". 

Gintoki didn't finish his sentence. Instead he sighed against Hijikata's back and shoulders when at his closest, wrapping his arms around him in a warm cuddle. Hijikata was indifferent, as he half-expected this. He half-expected to be cuddled eventually. 

"Does that bother you?" Hijikata responded, remembering how he also never had the experience of dating when he was a teenager. 

"Nope...". Gintoki responded with simplicity, and a dazed look on his face. He seemed happy... "I'm glad I didn't, though. My life as a brat had enough shit in it, I didn't need to be dragged down by dating girls and stuff. Things like that...I've found they're a lot easier when you're an adult". 

"I actually agree with you". 

"Although...". 

"...?" 

"I...I wasn't just saying it...The other day, when we were in bed and we told eachother that we were the best we've ever had and stuff. Well...I meant the other thing, too. My heart's never pounded that hard around anyone else, even when I had sex for the first time. It couldn't compare, ever...". 

"...I...I see. Y-yeah...Me too...". 

Hijikata turned in head to face Gintoki, but incidently, their noses touched and their eyes met. Gulping, Hijikata made the first move. Licking his lips, Gintoki moved in as well. Very lightly, due to the awkward angle, their lips merely brushed together. But it was sweet and nice and tender. They smiled at eachother, and casually pulled away. 

"So...What're we drinking?" 

"Sake...". 

"Yeah, I can see that. But what kind of sake?" 

They could brush it off. Unlike with teenage, first experience, romance, they brushed off even the smallest things at this point. They had their experiences months ago, yet it felt special. It was more real than something as fickle as to teenagers who thought they were going to be together forever. Gintoki and Hijikata had something special, they simply didn't show it to others. Unlike with first exleriences as a teenager, their hearts pounded faster, their kisses were deeper and their words had more meaning. Yet they brushed it off, wanting to remained surfaced instead of being dragged down deeper. And that was okay. They were happy. In terms of romance...Well, not a lot could compare to this feeling. They acknowledged that together, silently, as their fingers brushed together and a few fingers locked in the middle. Their hearts skipped a beat, and the content sort of happiness washed over them once more...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will love the Yorozuya family forever! And I love Gintoki and Hijikata! I love writing this!


	25. When in a Room With Someone You Dislike, It's Hard To Look Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This isn't as long as the other chapters, and it's out a day later than usual, but that's because I ran into some trouble when writing the original 25th chapter. I ended up ditching it and wrote this instead. Hope it suffices. Enjoy.

October had truely arrived, when the leaves left the trees bare, and the sky turned dull almost every day. A chill past through, a moment when the warm body beside Takasugi was his only choice. A calmly beating heart and soft breathing from above, running through his hair, was comforting after such a nightmare. It was a nightmare, right? He could barely remember the scene in his mind while he lay unconscious under these arms; these strong, warm arms that wrapped around him and brought thismfeeling of safety. Embarrased, Takasugi his his face away, he hid his eye away. That nightmare...The nightmare didn't leave him waking up in a startled state while sweating bullets. It crept up on him as he failed to relax. The book kept him awake at night and he wondered if Bansai wasn't just giving it praise. A laugh nearly escaped him. A biased Bansai. No such man existed in Takasugi's perspective. The Bansai he was familiar with was never biased, but still respected Takasugi greatly. When did it happen? When did this man begin to respect him so? From the very beginning?

Perhaps he found it hard to understand. Bansai was hard to understand sometimes. In the office, facing piles and piles of work in a single word document on his laptop, he was calm and went through it all word for word with a straight expression. When teaching Matako the ropes of editing he had the same emotionless expression despite being such an asshole in disguise. It made Takasugi hide a smirk. He knew. Oh did he catch on to when Bansai was being good or cruel in his own way. Takasugi...liked Bansai. This was not a mystery to him, it was fact. But recently, Bansai showed a whole other expression around the house or on one of their "dates". He smiled and spoke Takasugi's first name with such respect, but kindness at the same time. 

("Shinsuke..."). It echoed, as did their first kiss. Why now? Why now, after so many months of kissing and cuddling and lovemaking? Why the first? 

Then last night came to mind. When leaving the pages of the word document full and satisfying, with Kitty on his lap, purring softly, Takasugi recalled when Bansai peered over his shoulders and read through the next passage silently before giving his opinion. It ended with "I daresay" and that was that until they kissed, until they allowed each breath to escape them in gasps and panting, until they went to the bedroom and Takasugi spread his legs. His cheeks flared red and he closed his good eye, trying to imagine something else. This wasn't out of shame, but embarrassment. That was simple, but it puzzled him. Ordinary women, the ones whom he had been intimate with before, never made him feel embarrassed. It was always this awkward feeling, shown through stillness and bloodshot eyes as he couldn't handle the thought of intimacy. Now it was normal, but with a man to tower over him and make him embrace all sorts of funny feelings...He never felt that with any woman. Truely, an oddity among many others in his life. 

The bedsheets rustled, a familiar kiss was placed on the top of Takasugi's head. He said nothing, his hands resting on Bansai's broad, covered chest. Yes, he had slipped on a tee-shirt afterward, as did Takasugi to keep the October chill out. The warmth spread and their feet met under the sheets. Takasugi's back was rubbed which provoked the memories of the marks left on his sensitive skin. This was something that Bansai, and Takasugi himself, only just discovered a few months ago. 

"Are you cold?" Bansai asked whike his fingers ran through Takasugi's hair and stroked his cheek. 

"No, I'm alright. It's actually warm...Makes me want to skip out on work for a while longer...". 

"Really? That's unlike you". 

"Don't get the wrong idea. It's nice and warm here, and I hate the cold. Besides...I had another bad dream. Having you right next to me is...It's a bit of a relief...God, never thought I'd say something like that...". 

"I don't think it's anything to be ashamed of, I daresay. As far as I know, this isn't your worst one, is it?" 

"No. It was surprisingly tame, and I felt more relaxed when I woke up".

"I...see...". 

To be so open was...Takasugi was never open about his feelings, yet Bansai brought it out of him like he was his therapist, or because he was such a good listener. He understood, in a way. And there was this side of him that Takasugi had not seen until they began this relationship: Bansai was open, too. He showed more affection than ever. Takasugi couldn't say he was a hundred percent comfortable, but the soft kisses and kind hugs were new, and he liked them, but didn't say this out loud. He could never say it out loud. 

Soft purring entered the bed with them, and a familiar little friend came strolling in with anticipation and greed for attention. Both eyes were set on her, their kitten with the bell collar and shining whiskers. Propping up on their side, away from the cuddle, the two men allowed Kitty between them, reaching herself out to their hands for a good morning petting. Their hands ran through her soft fur which only provoked more endearing purring. 

"Hey there, beautiful". Takasugi murmured with a faint smile. There was no doubt about how much Takasugi secretly loved cats. "Hm...Cats are such attention whores, aren't they? Although most humans are the same. It's quite amusing...". 

Takasugi rubbed his fingers under Kitty's tiny chin. Her beautiful blue eyes closed, her rough tongue slicked his thumb and fingers affectionately. 

"Not you, I daresay. You're more reserved than most humans, Shinsuke". 

"I try...There's so much going on in my fucked-up head that I wisely refrain from sharing with the rest of the world. The only way I do share is through my books, and to the critics and readers it's simply my vast imagination". 

"I don't mean it that way, Shinsuke. Actually, I think you don't reveal your emotions very easily, I daresay. Nothing wrong with doing so, of course. But I have to say that...I wish there was more I could see, more you could tell me in the near future. I want to know more about you...". 

This was an example of Bansai revealing his feelings. In front of Takasugi, the feelings escaped and were conveyed with such sincerity that Takasugi would be left momentarily speechless. He was. 

Their eyes met at some point during a moment when Kitty was about to roll on her back and start batting her paws for more attention. With the gap between them being so small, it wasn't too much hassle to lean over and allow their noses to touch and get in the way before their first proper morning kiss. A brush of the lips before delving deeper without a care. If anyone else saw this, they would shit themselves from shock. Takasugi had to pull away from the kiss as he chuckled. His own thoughts didn't fail to amuse him. 

"Is somehing the matter?" Bansai asked, puzzled. 

"Hah, it's...It's nothing at all. Excuse me, Bansai...". 

Lifting Takasugi's chin, meeting eyes, Bansai leaned in a little more and placed a few little kisses on Takasugi's forehead and cheek. Only in front of Takasugi. No one else would get to see this in a million years-not from Bansi. 

"We should get up. Both of us have work today, after all". 

"I know. I guess I'll get started as soon as I can. If I don't get the next chapter finished, I'll go crazy". A bit too late there, Takasugi. 

Bansai was the first who got up out of bed that morning. Takasugu lingered around in bed while watching-observing-quietly. His attention returned to Kitty when the bedroom door was closed once more and all was silent. Gladly, he pet her soft fur and allowed her to curl up beside him. It wouldn't be too long until he got up himself and began work again. If he didn't get it done now then the stress would pile on more than the work-load itself. And that was definitely unneeded. 

... 

The birds chirped outside, from the window ledge right next door to the spare room. Hijikata had temporarily forgotten his reason to come into the spare room in Gintoki's apartment after his eye caught on to something new and mysterious but very, very interesting to him. Already a few furniture pieces had been placed, and some books were stores on their new bookshelf. That's why he entered the room: to grab a book for Gintoki. It was a notebook, filled to the very last page with references from his previous novels. This time he needed reference. When picking up this maroon, leather-cover notebook, something slipped out as he had held the spine of the book upon taking it out of place. The thing-a picture-drifted down from between the pages and fell to the floor. Hijikata momentarily panicked as it may have been some important notes, but when he picked it up and turned the blank side over...That was when he discovered that it was in fact a photograph. 

Finding it led him to forget the purpose of entering the room, and he sat there quietly on the beanbag chair with his eyes affixed to the picture he held between his fingers. It depicted a group of smiling children, and an adult man with unusually long hair who was also smiling. The only one without even the faintest smile was a familiar-looking natural permed kid in the middle with his finger stuck up his nose. It was amusing at first, radiating this good feeling that lay at the pit of Hijikata's abdomen. Then came the puzzlement and the curiosity that would naturally follow in any similar situation. To take a peek into Gintoki's childhood from a mere photograph peaked so many questions that he could never ask. If Gintoki had never mentioned these children, and that man, in great detail before he may still be unready to do so. Hijikata was hesitating, too. But seeing this photo, wondering if Gintoki could ever open up more, he didn't want to hesitate anymore. 

"Yo, Hijikata". Gintoki spoke through the door, loud and clear, ready to open it. "What's keeping you? Breakfast is nearly ready and I need those notes". 

In a panic, Hijikata scooped up the notebook from the floor beside him and slipped the photograph back inside. He then rushed to the door and was surprised when Gintoki did actually open it with a look of concern and suspicion on his face as he peered through. Hijikata tried to look innocent, by looking casual and indifferent as he handed over the notes. 

"...What kept ya?" Gintoki asked again, opening the door fully. "Did you look through any of this?" 

Hijikata found it hard to lie. It wasn't that he couldn't lie. He simply wouldn't want to, especially when finding something like that in Gintoki's possesion. Hijikata would be riddled with guilt, but then telling the truth would make him look worse and perhaps Gintoki would feel more uncomfortable. Nothing made him a hundred percent certain. 

"I...Just the first couple pages. I didn't think you would go to such lengths for research". 

That was half the truth. In the first few pages, Gintoki scribbled down his thoughts and information on hospitals and certain mental disorders such as schizophrenia. As Hijikata recalled, a character from his first book suffered from schizophrenia, and it made for an emotional piece as she and her husband tried to cope. That was the story, looking back of their memories like it was a fairytail up until their adulthood. That was when Hijikata was first hooked, before he met Gintoki. 

"Haah...". Gintoki sighed, scratching the backmof his head. "Ask for permission next time, will ya? It's...kinda embarrassing for you to look through my notes without me knowing". 

"Sorry. I was a little curious, since you are one of my favourite writers. Hah, see, now we're both embarrassed...I never thought I would say that so casually to your face". 

"Me neither...Now, come back in here 'cause breakfast is nearly ready. If you want to look through these more, then ask. Or get on your knees and beg, chanting about how I'm your favourite writer of all time". 

"I'll pass. I'd rather lick a pair of sandals than beg to you". 

"Thought so...". 

It was them, and only them, who sat at the kitchen table and ate. Kagura had already eaten before rushing out the door at fifteen minutes to eight. The notebook was set closely by Gintoki's side as he poured a can of azuki beans over his bowl of rice. Hijikata squeezed mayonnaise on his, glancing only once at the notebook. But the notes within were not of interest, exactly. Only one thought was pushing him around, peaking his curiosity everytime the image returned to mind. Smiles and a younger Gintoki, it was all there in memory but he wished to look again and wonder, and guess as to how Gintoki ended up in such a place with such a happy aura eminating from the photo itself. But he didn't want to guess, as more questions would be raised. 

"Hey, Hijikata". Gintoki spoke with his cheek full of rice and azuki beans. "Do you mind goin' down to the reception and picking up my mail with yours? I'll give ya the key". 

"I'm not your errand boy. Do it yourself". Hijikata was quite firm about that, his mouth clear until he finished and took a sip of miso soup. 

"So mean...Come on~, since you're getting your own mail, too~". 

Hijikata rolled his eyes. Defeat. Yes. 

"Alright, but I'm not doing anything else for you". 

"Thanks. Saves me wasting my energy when I should be writing. I have a buncha ideas, and I don't wanna lose 'em while they're still in my head". 

Naturally, one of the worst obstacles for a writer was when an idea entered their head, then left almost immediatly if they didn't make notes or type it up when the moment of genius was in their grasp. Still it didn't sound liie much of an excuse for Hijikata to pick up mail for them both. The only other reason was that Gintoki was too lazy to go pick it up himself. And it was very likely, too. 

It was when the dishes were empty that Hijikata collected them and stacked them in the sink, heading back towards the bedroom after to grab his shirt. 

"You goin' for the mail?" 

"Yeah. I'll get the mail, take a shower and get changed before work". 

"Cool...". 

Hijikata had went upstairs alone, finding his shirt just under the door from last night. To slip it on now wouldn't matter because he was going to change into his uniform after showering-ignoring taking a bath for now. He entered the bedroom, swiftly swiping his shirt from the floor. Pulling it on, he looked around for his socks and slipped them on as well. Buttoning up and adjusting his clothes were the next step; last night's activities returning to memory. They were vague now, blurred, as the only thing that came to mind over and over was the photograph. Always the photograph in his head. After staring at the picture for an uncounted amount of time, he had recognised two faces: Gintoki, of course, and Katsura beside him. That man...Who was he? What was he to Gintoki? Could he even ask? He hoped so... 

... 

Hijikata made sure to separate his own mail from Gintoki's before tossing the envelopes on Gintoki's desk while he worked on his novel. Gintoki spun around in his chair, leaning back. 

"Thanks. Helps a lot...". 

"No problem, but next time get off your ass and get your own mail". 

"So rude. I thought you'd be a little less tense after last night...Is something wrong?" 

"...". Hijikata hesitated, but remained steady and prevented his fall from temptation. "It's nothing. I was tired last night, so I'm a little off today. Sorry...". 

"Don't...Hah, Hijikata, don't go apologising. I was tired too, but we still had fun, didn't we? Last night, I mean". 

"Mm-hm. Yeah, it was fun...I'm really okay, just tired...Gotta...I gotta go. See you later". 

With a creak, Gintoki got up from his chair. Hijikata had backed away by an inch before Gintoki stood up and approuched him gently. Not even two seconds went by the moment Gintoki caressed Hijikata's cheek, as if in solace of his so-called "tiredness", and kissed his lips for a single second. Softness and sweetness mixed in one kiss to say "see you tonight". 

"Work hard, but don't push yourself too much". Was the usual advice Gintoki offered, receiving a nod and a momentary smile from Hijikata. 

"I'll be sure of that. I'll try and spare some time to call you. Until then...". 

Another nod was another good-bye, giving the cue for Hijikata to back away, turn and walk out the door. On the way, he left Gintoki's mailbox key on the counter-top by the door, with the original set of keys placed in an unused ashtray. He then left, and he left Gintoki to relax in his own company. Sitting back down, he spun back around to his computer. Two lines, thus far, were written for the next chapter, the cursor bar switching from visibility to invisibility each second in a rhythm, waiting for the next line to be typed. But before then, Gintoki took the opportunity of writer's block to look through his mail before looking at his notes, before writing again. 

The first letter was picked up, the return address being from a familiar, fancy-pants hotel far out in Saitama, where (as he recalled) held the award ceremony for his second prize-winning novel. He jutted his finger through the envelope's flap, tearing it open. The letter in question answered his suspicions, and he scoffed with a smirk. 

"No kidding...". He whispered to himself, without surprise. 

As his eyes skimmed through the middle paragraph, going over the usual spiel, the phone began to ring. Yet another distraction preventing him from writing the next goddamn chapter, what a goddamn shame. A shame. He toosed the letter, and the envelope with it, back on the desk before swiftly answering the telephone. He sat back, his leg crossed over the other with a good amount of space to keep his balls from being crushed. 

"Yeah...?" He answered, scraping the inside on his ear with his pinky finger. "Gin-san speaking". 

["Good. You're home"]. That voice was recognisable. In fact, he knew it. But it took a second or two before he remembered. 

"Are you...Mutsu?" Sakamoto's assistant: Mutsu. How did she... "How did you get this number? Even Tatsuma doesn't have this number". 

["I've got my ways. Don't worry, I don't plan on telling that moron your contact info"]. 

"Appreciate it. So, why did you need to call me in the first place?" 

["My...The CEO, Tatsuma Sakamoto, has arranged for a dinner to celebrate the upcoming award ceremony for Best Fiction. You recieved the letter, I assume?"] 

"Just this morning, actually". 

["Are you kidding me? That was supposed to be delivered yesterday. No matter. The ceremony isn't until January next year, so you should have been aware of it long before...Anyway, you are invited, as one of the nominees. What should I tell my boss? It isn't until tomorrow night, so you can contact me and I can put in your reservation"]. 

"If I call later, wouldn't that cause you trouble?" 

["Not at all. I'm good friend's with the owner, and she has given us a private room. I just need to make her aware of how many will attend. Oh, and it includes a plus one for you, since you are the author. If you would like to bring one other guest, I can arrange for that if you wish"]. 

"Cool...I'll get back to you on that one, Mutsu. Thanks". 

["My pleasure. But, you should probably know that...the author "Shin" has also been invited. Feel free to say no, even because of that"]. 

"Where did this come from? Did Tatsuma say something to you?" 

["He mentioned something about a rough patch between you two. I didn't ask further questions, I just assumed that it may be awkward. In addition, you are rivals in this line of work. So-"]. 

"I'll still think about it". Gintoki's voice was under the pressure of cracking. He cleared his throat, and continued calmly. "Thanks again". 

When all was said, and the phone was put down quietly in its place, Gintoki cleared the smile from his face and leaned back in his chair. The writer's block had officially cleared his mind, aside from the idea of attending any kind of celebration with Takasugi in the same room, again. Gliding his foot around the floor, spinning his chair slowly around while the page in front of him was nearly empty, and nothing that came to mind would fill it. He was too focused on a decision. Saying no was easy here, but he hesitated. Even when his fingertips tingled for him to pick the phone back up and call their office, even when the aplogy and the "I don't think I'll go" was on the very tip of his tongue, he hesitated. Being in the same room, much closer than inside a hall for award ceremonies...He was hesitant, and for the first time he found it hard to say no. A couple drinks, a meal, a one plus...A one plus. 

Gintoki stopped spinning, and he looked towards the kitchen at the far end of the apartment. Leaning forward, he could just about see the small bento box, wrapped in a navy blue cloth, still sitting on the counter. Specially made, too. 

"Looks like he forgot it...". Gintoki muttered. "It's as good an excuse as any". 

Slapping his knees, Gintoki got up from his chair once again. An excuse, as good as any to go see his "one plus" and ask for a favour. Not that asking for favours from Gintoki's rival, pain in the ass, guy friend, whom he was dating, was stupid enough. How many favours had he asked of him? Not many. Not big ones, anyway. Not degrading ones that left him feeling embarrassed to even ask for these big favours. An excuse. The bento was an excuse, and Hijikata was a potential one plus, Gintoki's morale support, his rock, his shoulder to cry on when he felt too awkward sitting in the same room with Takasugi. Now look who was embarrassed. 

... 

Half-assed dress sense meant that Takasugi was staying inside for the day. Pants, loose-fitting socks, and one of Bansai's sweaters suitable for autumn. He wrote his upcoming novel from the sofa, a blanket draped over his legs as he typed. No need to smoke yet, but when you get halfway into the chapter, you'll need it, Shinsuke. You'll need it. At around eight in the morning, yesterday, Takasugi and Bansai eached recieved a letter about yet another upcoming award for Best Fictional Piece. He showed little interest in the award itself, as per usual. But he had to attend, as per usual, annually, if he was nominated-which was usually the case when it came to fictional work. This was fact, not his way of boasting and pretending not to care. He legitimately couldn't give one. 

Bansai had returned to the sofa with two cups of coffee. He set down Takasugi's on the end table beside him, leaving him to write, before sitting down too. Bansai sat closely to Takasugi, but didn't dare look at his work until told otherwise. He didn't want to distract him either, but that plan went out the window as soon as Takasugi hit save and closed his laptop in his lap. 

"Did I distract you?" Bansai asked, ready to utter an apology. He didn't have to. 

"Not at all. I need a break anyway, clear my mind until I can get some fresh ideas". Takasugi raised his laptop and placed it on the coffee table. Picking up his own cup of freshly made coffee, he sipped and sifhed contently. "It's...This is good, thanks, Bansai". 

"Anytime. You appeared to be quite cold, I daresay". 

"Hah...No need to worry, I told you. If you're so concerned about me getting sick, then you might as well come a little closer. I don't bite, y'kno-...?".

Already, swiftly, Bansai slid-not scooted-over and wrapped his arm around Takasugi before reeling him in to a cuddle. Sipping his coffee, Bansai acted as aloof as ever. He moved his arm down, instead wrapping it around Takasugi's waist. He was slender, still, but it felt warmer and exhillerating to be so close when they weren't in the bedroom, as if they were... 

"Better, Shinsuke?" 

"Not that I was complaining in the first place, but, yes this...feels a lot warmer. God, I dread when winter comes around". 

"Yes, I daresay. You stay inside a lot more often during winter". 

"I prefer the warm apartment, what of it?" 

"...Nothing". Bansai muttered, rubbing his hand gently over Takasugi's arm and his waist to provide warmth. "There's nothing wrong with it. In fact, I'd prefer it if the risk of getting a cold was minimised. I'd only be concerned about you and I wouldn't get any work done". 

"Never knew this side of you...It's...weaker. Well, perhaps not that word necessarily. I suppose...you're much kinder to me than you are to most, and I still wonder why you're so good to me, Bansai. And you are...". 

Bansai had not changed. He was still the same person who took situations too seriously, was cruel at times as a joke conveyed with zero physical emotion, and he worked hard. He had not changed, he had opened his heart...To Takasugi. He had exposed this kinder side that no one-not anyone-would see, except for his beloved Shinsuke. Bansai placed his coffee down, and with that hand he picked up Takasugi's and held it securely, gently petting the skin with his thumb before placing a kiss. 

"Shinsuke...I am only ever truely good to you, and for my own personal reasons, I daresay. I would never pick anyone else over you, in any circumstance". 

"What's this all of a sudden?" 

"They're...my feelings, I daresay. I...find myself caring about you a little more everyday, Shinsuke. It has far past my quota-succeeding any feelings I could ever have for anyone else, which mostly consists of indifference or a sense of equal standing. With you...You're the first person I have ever looked up because you're...You're...". 

Bansai was lost for words, those other words seemingly piling on top of Takasugi like stacks upon stacks of pillows. It must have been suffocating, and thus Bansai's backed off and let go of Takasugi's hand. 

"I apologise, Shinsuke. I got carried away, I daresay". 

"N-no, it's alright. You surprised, that's all". 

"I see. I didn't mean to, of course. It's...complicated". 

Takasugi nodded in understanding, and the awkwardness left them silent. It still felt strange to express such sincere feelings. What ever happened to the beginning, when they said "close friends" and that was that? Then they kissed more, cuddled more, slept in the same bed, they went on a few dates together such as dinner or long walks. Last, but not least, they had slept together enough times to know the ins and outs of eachother's bodies and what felt good. It didn't feel like friendship when they became expressive. Thus, they were quiet. But for only a moment. Just a moment. 

"Ah, Shinsuke, I received a call earlier. Apparently, due to the upcoming award ceremony, the CEO of the publishing company invited us to a dinner at a restaurant in town". 

"Is that so? Tatsuma's trying to drag me along...I assume you are also invited". 

"Yes, I am. To be honest, it would feel awkward without having you there, but it is your decision on whether you wish to go, I daresay". 

If they had planned a dinner for members working with the nominated authors...then it was likely Gintoki planned to show up. That explained why Bansai emphasised on the whole "it's entirely your decision whether you want to take part or not". He believed it to be awkward, even when lacking awareness as to why it would be awkward. Takasugi never explained the whole story. 

"...I'll think about it". Was Takasugi's current answer. "When is it?" 

"Tomorrow night". 

"Tsk, nice organising skills, Tatsuma". Takasugi murmured to himself, disdainful in both tone and expression. 

Bansai didn't understand, but was aware of the relationship Takasugi once held with Tatsuma Sakamoto, Kotarou Katsura and Gintoki Sakata: friends. His guess was as good as any to explain what happened. He was also in a situation where he had questions and wished for answers that may never come. Who knew? Feeling comfortable enough that the awkwardness had dispersed, Bansai licked his lips before placing a kiss on Takasugi's forehead. He rubbed his back, acknowledging the marks hidden underneath the sweater. He sat back, finishing his coffee as Takasugi did, too. Would he ever get answers? Would Takasugi be comfortable talking about it? The uncertainty rang out like church bells, knelling over and over, telling him to refrain himself. And so he did...So he did... 

... 

Bundled up under a coat and scarf, Gintoki walked through the street with a plastic bag, containing Hijikata's bento, in hand. Never had he felt so awkward delivering something. He was carrying something homemade, by him, to Hijikata at his workplace. The concept sounded more embarrassing the more he thought about all of those subordinates catching them in the act, how domestic their Vice-Commander was acting as he would take the bento, specially made for him, and say thanks with a kiss to Gintoki's cheek. He wouldn't, though. A simple thanks was enough, and there was no way that Hijikata would act affectionately in front of his subordinates. Then he would no longer bear the title "Demon Vice-Chief", now would he?

Gintoki made sure to call ahead and make sure Hijikata would be waiting outside to pick up the delivery. The very special delivery that Gintoki worked hard to make during the early hours of the morning. The box under the cloth was warm, and the chopsticks slipped underneath the knot were cleaned thoroughly. He put in effort as well as time, every time he made a bento. That was said in a way that implied he had made one hundreds of times, but this was only the third or fourth. Seconds away from the police station's main entrance, Gintoki spotted Hijikata standing and waiting with a cigarette between his lips and his hands stuffed in his pockets to ward off the cold until he could go back inside. The presence nearing him caused a reaction, and he raised his head to see Gintoki draw near with a smile and a wave of his hand. 

"Hey, got your bento right here". 

"Thanks, Gintoki, but you know you don't have to make one for me". 

"I don't do it 'cause I have to, but because I want to make all your subordinates jealous. So, do they think that it's your girlfriend who makes them?" 

"Something like that". Those words left in an embarrassed tone, Hijikata's eyes shifting when he grew cautious; wondering if they were being watched. 

"Anyways...Oh, right. There's something I gotta ask, and I'm sure you'll give me an answer since I brougut your bento". Hijikata was skeptical, but sighed in defeat at the starting gun. 

"Haah, alright, what's up? Make it quick so I can get back to work". 

"Okay, okay. Basically, I've been invited to this dinner with my publishing group, and Tatsuma, and I was told I could bring a one plus guest, so I was wondering if you'd like to go with me tomorrow night?" 

"What's the occassion?" 

"Ah, their holding another award ceremony for Best Fiction, and I've been nominated, so...". 

"Heh, no kidding...That's fantastic, but you don't sound too enthusiastic". 

"I don't care about that stuff, but it couldn't hurt to hace dinner, have a few drinks, but...Only if you're there, too". 

Hijikata looked puzzled, concerned, even. 

"Why do you say that?" 

"...Takasugi's gonna be there, too-probably. And I'd like you there for...morale support". 

Even, after hearing this and that about their relationship, Hijikata to could understand why Gintoki woule need him there. It would feel awkward in a social situation where his rival, and maybe his enemy, would be sitting in the same room. Compared to Hijikata, Shinsuke Takasugi seemed like a bigger threat when it came to rivalry. 

"Tomorrow night...I'll ask Kondo-san, and tell him I'll take a extra shift the next evening". 

"Really? Holy shit, you're awesome! I would kiss you, but I guess you wouldn't want your subordinates to see. Thanks a lot, I owe you one". 

"Don't worry about it. I'll see you soon, okay? Thanks for the bento". 

"See ya. I'll be sure to make it up to you". 

Gintoki went his way, waving good-bye as he walked back in the direction of his apartment building just a few blocks away. Hijikata lingered for a bit right before heading inside the station. For a moment or two, he couldn't take his eyes off of the neatly wrapped bento. But upon entering into the main office, all eyes were on Hijikata after all eyes had, in actually fact, found the bento in his hands. When realising the pauses and the staring among the male and female officers, they let their minds and imaginations run away with them. He was approuched, and the interogations began. 

"Vice-Chief, that bento...". 

"Did a lover make it? Does the Vice-Commander have a lover after all?!" 

"Awh, man~! I'm so jealous!" 

"Wha-...You guys...It-It's not what it looks like!" 

It was mostly the men who crowded around him, asking if it was a lover who made it, what "she" was like, so on and so forth. It was awkward hearing them use the prounoun "she" and "her" when they quickly assumed he had a "lover", but in Hijikata's head he knew it was a man. It was a man who prepared something like this. The awkwardness sunk in deeply when the realisation hit him, having no choice but to refrain from correcting them and spillng everything; that he was actually dating a man, that man who made the bento, the man who wouldn't have necessarily poured his heart into making it. Would he? 

"You can tell us, Sir. If you really do have a lover, we'd like to meet her some day". 

"What...?! H-hey-...!" 

"Yes, please, Vice-Chief! We wanna meet her!" 

"The Vice-Chief is really lucky to have someone who puts so much love ane care into making a bento. No doubt the Vice-Chief would do the same". 

"What sort of crap are you guys spouting?! Mind your own business, will ya?!" 

"Toshi's right, fellas". Kondo then came into the scene, intruding to give Hijikata some support in his plight to shut these guys up. His arms were crossed only when approuching, then he draped his arm over Hijikata's shoulders, shaking him once with his strenght and giving a grin. "You shouldn't ask so many questions, and you shouldn't impose so much. Leave him be". 

"But, Chief, have you seen it? In the break room, the Vice-Commander has eaten each bento without a droo of mayonnaise". 

"What's it to you, bastard?" Hijikata snarled, and his subordinate backed off anxiously. 

"Is that so?" Kondo's grin formed into a smile, and he stood quite proudly on Hijikata's behalf, his expression questionable to Hijikata. "It doesn't matter. It's Toshi's business, and I think we should all leave him to it". 

Disappointed, but understanding, expressions spread, followed by nods. They went back to work shortly after, leaving Hijikata alone with Kondo. A slap was smacked over his back suddenly, and Hijikata looked up at Kondo in response. 

"No need to worry, Toshi. I have you covered. But I think you should know how lucky you are. Gin-san doesn't seem like the type to do this for just anyone. You're special to him-I can tell".

"...Does it seem that way?"

"Of course. Why do you sound doubtful?" 

"I, I'm not...I just never thought of myself that way. Knowing that guy, he feels the same". 

"Is he special to you?" 

Hijikata wondered that. There was still so many gaps left in Gintoki's stories of his past, so many questions left unanswered. There was so much they didn't reveal to eachother. Even so was it still special? Were they special to eachother? In this relationship... Hijikata wondered how special Gintoki was to him, really. For now, he couldn't say. Instead he hesitated, fell silent, and the question was allowed to slip through the cracks and to never be brought back up for an unknown period of time. When would he feel ready to even think about it? When Gintoki talks about his past more? That was something he couldn't force. 

Kondo gave a pat to Hijikata's shoulder before heading back to his own work. The conversation was never brought up again. Kondo was respectful, choosing not to pry. And Hijikata was grateful. And he thought. And then left it alone before he, too, returned to his post of paperwork and awaited phone calls, taking his homemade bento along with him to his desk. 

... 

... 

Before his standing mirror, Gintoki slipped on a sweater and adjusted the hem that covered his stomach and belt. When he was sure that Hijikata was able to come to the dinner, he was sure he would definitely go, too. A day was what it took for him to be certain. Evening arrived, leaving his stomach empty and his mind clear-not a drop of alcohol before arriving at the restaurant-Gintoki was ready as could be. He let his mind remain a blank page to be filled with anxiety and awkwardness later on in the evening. If Takasugi really was coming...Socialising with him was out of the question while everyone else would be drinking, and Sakamoto would try to pull him into the conversation, like he used to. Like he used to do...

Strong hands rested across Gintoki's shoulders when an inhale from the nose tickled his nape. Hijikata was affectionate tonight, which was a little odd. Not too much-not at all clingy-but Gintoki was conscious of himself. Hijikata's lips also traced over his neck like a feather, teasing his skin to send a shudder down his spine. The palms and fingers slid down Gintoki's arms to find his waist, wrap around it, and hug with his chin resting on Gintoki's shoulder. A serious expression peered over, looking into their reflection. 

"You know...I actually think you look handsome. This...isn't a big deal to you-the dinner, I mean-but...I can still say you're handsome, even when it's an informal occassion. Does it feel awkward to you?" Gintoki shook his head. 

"No. You don't look to bad yourself". Gintoki smirked staring into the reflection too. "It'd help if you wiped that serious look from your pretty face, though. Is...something up?" 

"Hm? N-no, nothing". 

Hijikata backed off, although his hands remained on Gintoki's waist, lingering, for a second or two before Gintoki turned around, posing a look of suspicion. 

"Oh, really? You've been acting weirdly since yesterday morning. I'm the one that's supposed to be anxious and on edge". 

"Are you...?" There was a nod, acceptance in Gintoki's eyes. 

"Yeah...Knowing you're there, it reassures me. I'll have someone to talk other than a couple of old ladies and Zura. 'Course, having Zura and Tatsuma there too, no matter how many others are around us, it'll be awkward. All...All four of us, together again yet separated...". 

Gintoki had looked back on moments, briefly, that Hijikata didn't understand. He knew near to nothing about his relationship with those guys. Still so much...There was so much he didn't know. 

"Anyway...". Gintoki began again, smiling. "If something's wrong, you know you can tell me". 

"I'm...fine. Thanks". 

This was a running pattern. To hide away your worries and fears...It was a common habit between them, even now. If neither of them came out and said it then nothing would get resolved, and everything would be hidden away, and the cycle would continue. A sweet gesture passed by, breaking the ice. A brush of Hijikata's bangs led their eyes to meet. Gintoki was smiling still. 

"Hijikata, I know that...I know you found the photograph in my notebook". 

"...! Is that so...". 

"Yeah. When you handed me the notebook to me, I could read it on your expression. Seemed like you felt bad about it-". 

"I...I did. And I'm sorry I...found it and...". 

This was more uncomfortable for Hijikata than it appeared to be for Gintoki. But it didn't end with awkward silence, and the uncomfortability did end quite suddenly. 

"I bet you have a lotta questions. It's only natural that you do, finding something like that in a hidden place like my research and references notebook. If it's about my childhood, of course you'd be curious. Do you...wanna know, Hijikata?" 

"...?" 

"What's with that face? I'm asking if you wanna know more about me; more than I've told you up 'til now". 

Astonished, Hijikata could not possibly utter a single word under such pressure. This turn of events left him speechless, but eager. Gintoki had assured he was comfortable. That look on his face said so, but how could Hijikata be sure? Whatever happened in Gintoki's past, it certainly couldn't have been any better than what happened in Hijikata's. There was no telling if he was alright with it. There was telling if recalling hs memories would pressure him, make him feel more uncomfortable, upset him. Even now, it was hard to read this man's thoughts and differ them from his body language, still... 

"Gintoki, I...". 

The bedroom door opened, and light burst into the dimly lit room. Neither could recognise the silhoutte until his glasses shone and he told them off. 

"Hey-...Wha-Why's it so dark in here?! Come on, you two, the cab's here. Hurry up or we'll be late to the party". 

Shinpachi had entered again, trusting that these two weren't doing anything indecent, without knocking. What a fucking mood-killer. He was in the right, though. The cab had arrived and they had dinner to go to. But the interuption was too cliché and ruined the tension for them both. Way to go, Glasses Character. Way to go, Patsuan. Together, they all exited the bedroom-as soon as the lamps were switched off and the room was left in darkness. Kagura lay sprawled across the sofa, her eyes glued to the T.V while her hand was buried in a bag of potato chips. 

"We won't stay out too late, Kagura, but make sure to go to bed at ten-the latest". 

"Sure, sure, Gin-chan. Have fun you guys, aru~". 

Her indifferent and distant attitude only raised concern. But seeing as she was comfortable lying on the sofa, eating potato chips-the flavour unknown to them-their minds were at ease. They exited, finally, without worry. Gintoki, however, was the only one who hoped he wouldn't come home drunk to a girl's sleepover, when he would be vulnerable and a total pushover as they would crowd around him and try to put make-up on his face. Never again...for the love of god. 

... 

Exiting the cab, Gintoki lingered and paid appropriately before exiting himself, slamming the door shut securely. When the rumbling of the car's engine grew distant, that was when Hijikata took out the pack of cigarettes from within his coat, from inside the inner breast pocket.

"I'm gonna smoke before heading inside, so you two can go on ahead. I know what room we're in, so don't mind me". 

The cigarette slid past his lips, hanging from the corners as he lit it, standing and leaning against the restaurant's walls to smoke. The sign above indicated a smoking area, a spot far from the front entrance. 

"We'll see you inside, then, Hijikata-san-...?" Shinpachi took a step forward, towards the doors, when Gintoki held his shoulder and stopped him. 

"You go on in, Patsuan. I'm gonna hang out here for a minute, okay?" 

"Um, okay? Don't go asking Hijikata-san for cigarettes, though". 

"Ye of little faith. Relax, I'm over all that. Now get your ass in there with everyone else . Go". 

Shinpachi shook his head as he went inside, leaving the two alone. Hijikata questioned that, to himself, continuing to smoke and releasing each puff in heavy exhales. He had restrained himself for a while, and this was his reward. Gintoki leaned beside him on the wall, hands stuffed into his coat pockets, the smoke passing by without causing a reaction of disgust. They didn't speak for roughly fifteen seconds. By then, Hijikata's cigarette deterioted by half, the ash flicked away to the pavement below. 

"I'm not mad about it, y'know?" They looked at eachother. At those words, Hijikata turned his head and their eyes, somewhat, met as Gintoki didn't turn his head. He merely shifted his gaze with a faint smile across those lips. "About...the photograph; how you found it. You were bound to come across it sooner or later, or I would eventually be willing to show you". 

"...Tell me that sooner, dumbass". 

"Were you worried that I was angry?" 

"No, it-...Not that you would be angry, I thought you'd be more uncomfortable than anything, so I didn't ask, and I lied about finding it". 

"Yeah...Feels weird. I didn't think I'd feel uncomfortable talking about it now, but...it's still pretty haunting to think about, because I know that there's so much I can't change or fix. I feel like if you're the only one I can tell, then it won't be as hard to talk about. Even the happier memories sting. But...I'll tell you. I wanna tell you so much more, Hijikata". 

This wasn't the first time they expressed the need to be more open and leave no stone unturned. But as their relationship went on through the months, slowly these things sunk deeper into their minds as topics for conversation--deep, meaningful conversation that would open all doors and reveal much, much more about eachother. Gintoki was willing to do that, as was Hijikata-despite not mentioning it at first. That photofraph was a stepping stone for Hijikata, a way for him to reach out s little further towards Gintoki and find out more. He had a feeling that this wasn't something to be postponed for another few months. It was happening soon. 

"We should probably head inside. Hurry up with your cigarette so we can go in, eat and drink. You're my guest, after all". 

"Right. Gimme one second. I'm almost done". 

Brushed off, momentarily out of their heads, the topic faded to the back of their minds until later. Soon enough, that photograph would be explained. A lot would be explained. 

... 

From the hallway, leading to their reserved room, things already sounded lively from inside. The waiter bowed and invited them to enjoy their stay before opening the sliding door for Gintoki and Hijikata to enter. They thanked the waiter, the door closed behind them while heads turned. Looking around the large table and the group of people surrounding it on floor cushions, it appeared Takasugi and his froup had not arrived. Gintoki wondered if he planned to come at all.

"Kintoki, finally! We were waiting for you, ya slowpoke". 

"Good to see you, too, Tatsuma". Gintoki grumbled, removing his shoes with everyone else's, his coat too. Hijikata followed, feeling awkward around people whom he wasn't entirely familiar with. They kneeled onto the reserved floor cushions, surrounded by the most well-known people around the offices and a huge serving of food and alcohol (aside from the glasses of juice served to those underage). 

"It's a pleasure to see you again, Hijikata-san". Katsura acted civil, a faint smile across his face. 

"It's a pleasure to actually meet you. We thought Gintoki was hiding you away from us there". There came a few laughs from Otose's comment, but it was Catherine-seated beside her boss-who was staring daggers at the most popular couple at the table. 

"Oi, how come he's so handsome?" She questioned, leaning in close to examine Hijikata's good-looking face compared to her own. Not to be disrespectful..."How the hell did you fall for a good-for-nothing like Gintoki Sakata?" 

"Uh...". 

"Could you not crowd around him with that old lady stink? Smells like you had an accident in a carpet factory". 

"Why you-...!" Catherine was prepared to start a brawl only seconds after Gintoki poured himself a drink, but was stopped by Otose. 

"Now, now, relax, Catherine. Don't go prying into their business, this isn't elementary school". 

"Sorry, Otose-san...". 

"Anyway...". Tama clapped her hands together, gaining everyone's attention. "I'm sure we're all hungry. Otose-san, would now be a good time to start?" 

"No, not yet. We still have a few more guests on the way". 

"Ah...Are you talking about Takasugi-shi?" 

There was a moment of silence between Gintoki and Katsura. They shared glances, but said nothing. 

"Well...". Sakamoto poured himself a cup of sake then, breaking their glance without knowing. "I say before we really get started, and wait for Takasugi-shi, we should probably make a quick toast for the couple sitting right there". Sakamoto pointed shamelessly towards Gintoki and Hijikata, grinning. 

"Hey, wasn't this supposed to be about the award ceremony coming up?" Gintoki questioned, displeased with the sudden events. Was the award ceremony a mere excuse for him to make a toast over...this? 

"It is. I just wanted a little excuse to raise a glass, or sake cup, I guess, to you guys". 

"That isn't necessary-". Hijikata tried to calmly argue, but... 

"It is, in a way. You two are quite popular, after all". Katsura interupted, adding with the same amount of shame: none. 

Hijikata was the popular one, so where was this coming from? Just because they were the only same-sex couple at the table? Because Gintoki had actually found someone? 

"So...A toast to the only same-sex couple in this whole fanfic. Doubt that there's anyone else, who nobody really wants to read about as a couple. You guys are like the main one, so people give one in today's Gintama fandom. If there is anyone else, speak now or forever hold your piece. Hahaha!" 

"Tatsuma, are you drunk or something?" Otose asked apathetically. 

"I've only had two, Otose-dono~. Don't worry 'bout it. Ahahaha! Haha!" 

"Tatsuma, will you shut up already? I can hear you from the hallway". 

A new voice had entered, low and familiar to only a few in the room. But, still, all heads turned and the mood changed. There was tension. When the sliding doors were opened and a whole other group of four entered, the tension arose between Gintoki and Katsura. They felt it, seeing their old friend standing at the doorway with his new friends. They were tense, staring into his good eye that glared back at them. Sakamoto...not so much. 

"Takasugi-shi~~!" 

"Ack! Wh-What the hell are you-...?!" 

The tension broke as soon as Sakamoto leaped from his seat and crushed Takasugi under, what he called, a hug. Takasugi struggled, unable to breath properly from having his nicotine-coated lungs crushed by this moron. 

"I missed you, buddy~! Where've you been? Have you gotten taller~?" 

"G-get off of me you fool! I can't breathe!" 

"H-hey! Let go of Shinsuke-sama! You wanna die, asshole?! I'll fuckin' kill ya! Ya hear?! How dare you touch him so casually! I haven't even felt his smooth skin yet, shithead!" 

Matako suddenly began ranting, smacking her clenched fists across Sakamoto's back, preparing her strength to strike his balls. In addition, Bansai stood by, firmky, with his own fists clenched. A dark aura emanated from him as he glared daggers at Sakamoto-who had not noticed the scary dude staring at him with intent to kill. How dare he...How dare he touch Takasugi with those hands, so casually... 

"Oi, oi, isn't that Bansai dude kinda scary?" Gintoki whispered at Hijikata, unable to take his eyes off the scene. "What's with the dark aura? He was perfectly fine until Tatsuma started fondling his boss". 

"Excuse me, by chance is that pure little china girl around here somewhere?" Takechi, Takasugi's publisher and the world's biggest creep, raised his hand and stared into the abyss with those hollow, dead eyes. 

"Who the hell said you could talk, ya old fart?!" Gintoki yelled, creeped out himself. "Leave Kagura outta this, creep!" 

"I'm not a creep, I am a feminist". 

Gintoki's head collapsed on the surface of the table. What the fuck started this riot? 

"Ahh~, Takasugi-shi~! Wait, have you gotten prettier?" 

"H-huh...?!" 

"I dunno, it's weird~. Ever since Gintama 2015 was released, your appearance has really changed. Your hair looks softer, your eyes are shiny, you look a lot less crazed, and you look...Hhaah! You look so cute!" 

"Who the hell are you calling cute, bastard?! Let go of me!" 

Oh shit, Bansai was beginning to crack his knuckles. Was Sakamoto not paying attention? Did he have a death wish? He was squeezing the life out of Takasugi, the one character who is never at the butt of every single joke-only for his height, though. Gintoki raised his head, sighing heavily. This was already a huge mess, and he had only been there for a few minutes. 

"Gintoki...". Beside him, there came sweet relief. Hijikata whispered, placing a sake cup in Gintoki's hand. Gintoki watched quietly as Hijikata poured him a drink. Gintoki managed a smile. 

"Thanks. I needed that". 

He sipped, forgetting the scene in front of him for a moment or two, ignoring Takasugi's yelling for Sakamoto to stop crushing him, looking away from Matako's fit of anger, and Bansai's silent anger as he was prepared to kill Sakamoto with his bare hands. What a night already, and nobody had started eating yet. 

... 

All was reasonably quiet when Bansai pried Sakamoto away from Takasugi, whispering a death threat that no one caught onto-aside from Sakamoto as he laughed nervously, apologised and sat back down. The table was full now, and the plates and bottles of sake were slowly being emptied. Inbetween, there was conversation which, for some reawon, mainly revolved around work. In thie business, work was inescapable. Ironic, considering that writing works of fiction was supposed to be the escape. 

"So, Gintoki, how's the book coming along? Anything else I need to look over?" Katsura asked right before taking a sip of sake. 

"Ah, c'mon, Zura, why are you going on about work now? Let's just eat and have a few drinks". 

"I'll assume you haven't made any progress". 

"I have!" Gintoki argued, slamming his fist on the table. 

"Pray tell". Otose, regrettably joined in, curious herself on Gintoki's progress. 

"L-look, I'm gonna spare the details. And I'm not handing anything in to you until I'm finished, Zura". 

"It's Katsura. And you'd better. Ever since you gave me this job, I never did anything whole-heartedly out of gratitude". 

"What do you mean by that?" Hijikata also got involved, his interests peaked. 

"Ah, Hijikata-san, you may not he aware of this story but Gintoki was the one who put in his influence to give me a job, working under him. I was always thought of as the leader when we were younger, so, of course, it was a little strange to be working under someone for once". 

"But he's a real hard worker". Otose patted Katsura's back with those words. "So is Gintoki when he's in the right mood". 

"Yeah, I know that much".

"Could you guys stop talkin' about me when I'm literally right here? It's rude". With his chin leaning in the palm of his hand, Gintoki slurped a bundle of noodles, collected between his chopsticks and from his individual serving of udon. 

"Which book were you nominated for again?" Then Catherine joined in, near enough spilling her full glass of sake. 

"The fourth one. Apparently it appeared in a popularity poll and it got nominated again after hundreds of discussions on social media and stuff". 

"And you, Takasugi?" Otose, from the opposire end of the table, spoke to Takasugi as he quietly kept to himself and sipped his sake. 

"My third release. That, too, came up on social media...or so I've heard. I don't pay attention to those things". 

"The third...". Shipachi mumbled to himself. This was unexpected to anyone who heard it, at least from someone like Gintoki. "Ah, I, erm...". He paused and hesitated after excelling his voice. "I actually...read that one, Takasugi-san". Nope, that was the most surprising. Even Takasugi was quite baffled to hear someone close to Gintoki had read a rivals book. Then again, it wasn't the craziest thing. Like Bansai, the kid was reading other material as reference for a future job. It wasn't unusual or worth making a fuss. "It was the most terrifying book I've ever read, but in a good way. Ah...Ahem...". 

Shinpachi looked as awkward as ever, shutting hismelf up before anything else spilled from his mouth. Takasugi stared for a moment, blank and apathetic. Turning his head away, he too responded quite awkwardly. 

"Um...Thank you. I don't think I've recieved a comment like that until now". 

Silence had filled the room unecessarily, which added to the awkward tension of Shinpachi outwardly admitting that he read one of Takasugi's books, and enjoyed it. It wasn't a bad thing-Gintoki didn't think so-but it was still off. Seeing Shinpachi talk to Takasugi for the first time-and about a book-felt uncomfortable. You could probably understand if he spoke to Matako, due to their positions as interns, or even Bansai for future advice-but that's what Tama and Katsura were for. Why did it feel so uncomfortable to try and pull another writer's group into a conversation? It felt wrong, somehow. Out of place among many other things during this dinner party. 

... 

At around nine at night, Tama offered to take Shinpachi home before it got too late out. In fact, they would be escorting eachother to a cab and take it together to ensure both got home safely. 

"We'll b leaving now". Tama gave a bow to everyone, standing at the door with Shinpachi, purse in hand. "Thank you very much for having us". 

"Yeah, thanks for inviting us, Sakamoto-san". 

"Anytime~. Ahaha...Make sure that nice young lady gets home safely". 

"S-sure. Goodnight, everyone". 

As they were about to leave, exiting halfway through the sliding door, Gintoki stood up all of a sudden. 

"Oi, Shinpachi, can I talk to you for a sec', outside?" 

"Eh? Sure, Gin-san". Gintoki joined the two of them out in the hallway, shutting the door behind them. "What's up?" 

Gimtoki wasn't sure how to word the question in mind. It came to him, and he didn't feel like he could back away easily from it. 

"Uhm...Badk in there, how come you were so...outward?" 

"...? You mean...when Imsaid I read Takasugi-san's book? I...I dunno, it's hard to explain". 

"Is that so...". 

"I, I suppose I saw the tension between you guys, even though I'm not sure why. I didn't want it to last, so I admitted to him that I read one of his books. As far as I'm concerned, tyere aren't any sides when it comes to making books, Gin-san. We're all on the same boat, so I see no reason for so much tension between you-even if you are rivals, no matter what happened in the past. You don't have to tell me what happened, but I would like you guys to be civil. I think...everyone else does, too". 

"Shinpachi...". The kid was right, one hundred percent there. He was right, even when he said he lacked understanding of the situation. He did, thus those words were easy to say. But still, Gintoki could see his point. Tousling Shinpachi's hair, Gintoki smiled faintly. "Thanks, kiddo". He said. "I'll keep that in mind. You're great support, y'know that?" 

"Haha, I...I wouldn't say that. Of course, I try, but the most support you get is from others like Tama-san, Otose-san, Katsura-san and Hijikata-san". 

"Aw, c'mon, you're just as much support as the rest, so I owe you my thanks, Shinpachi. Now, go home before your sister worries. I'll see ya when I see ya". 

"Sure. Goodnight, Gin-san". 

"Goodnight, Gintoki-sama".

The two left, waving a quick good-bye before making their way out of the restaurant. Gintoki made his own way back into the room to join everyone else, and ended up walking in on a whole new conversation; totally unrelated to work. 

"I'll have you know, I'm very good at UNO. A much more civil game than Monopoly-the game of capitalism and greed". 

"Who the hell has such a cynical opinion on a board game?" 

Seemingly, Katsura and Hijikata had started a discussion on board games, of all things. Katsura had always favoured a game like UNO, but this was the first time Gintoki had heard anything about Hijikata's favourite board game. But this wasn't the case. 

"I think Monopolynis a good game, but it's not my favourite. I personally prefer Clue". Hijikata liked Clue? 

"Checkers is my personal favourite". Otose added, arms folded. 

"I like Twister". Catherine then added, much to everyone's displeasure. 

"Eww, who'd play Twister with a creature like you?" When did Matako decide to join in? 

"What's it to you, Bitch?! Just because you're still young!" 

"You wanna fight me you saggy, old shit?!" 

"Bring it!" 

"Catherine...". 

"Kijima, sit down". 

It was Otose and Takasugi who calmed the beasts with a firm tone, like parent's towards their children-and the children sat, staring daggers at eachother without another word. Since when did these characters ever talk to eachother? It was never like this in the original series. Gintoki shook his head to himself, and sat back down beside Hijikata on the floor. The tension had settled down by then. There wasn't much of it between Gintoki and Takasugi anymore, so as long as they didn't even look at eachother then the night could contiue peacefully; between them, but everyone else...The lack of character interaction seemed to stir up enough tension for one night. 

... 

Gradually, the guests decided to call it a night. Most were sober. Even Catherine could stand on her own two feet as she and Otose left the room. They wished everyone a good night and made their exit. It was then Matako and Takechi who left, although Matako swiftly argued that she didn't need to be walked home by a creepy pedophile. In the end, it was Gintoki, Hijikata, Takasugi, Bansai, Katsura, Mutsu and Sakamoto who were left with only alcohol and empty dishes scattered across the table. 

"Haah, man, I'm glad we did this". Sakamoto sighed, stuffed from eating and drinking. He had exhausted too much energy to laugh it off apparently. No one was complainig. "Kinda feels like old times, huh, Zura?" 

"...In a way". Katsura had been reluctant to answer. Having the room emptied, he found it harder to look Takasugi directly in the eyes. 

"What's with that, man? Kintoki, doesn't it feel like old times?" 

"...". Gintoki didn't respond at first. But it turned out to be mere hesitation when a smirk crossed his lips. "It does, in a weird way". 

Hijikata couldn't read Gintoki's expression accurately. It was worn like a mask, hiding his true feelings. What were they? Was he okay with this? Really? 

"Gintoki...". Hijikata mumbled to him, and the mask was dropped for a more casual expression-the way he always acted in front of Hijikata. "Do you wanna leave soon?" He asked out of concern. 

"Nah, I'll stick around a little bit. I haven't drank that much tonight, and I feel like getting tipsy, at least". 

"That's just more work for me, y'know". Because Hijikata would have the job of carrying him out the door and to his home. 

From the otyer side of the table, at the farthest end, Bansai asked a similar question to Takasugi. 

"Shinsuke, when do you feel we should leave? We can stay a little longer, if you wish". 

"I don't mind staying for a little while longer, as long as I'm not left alone in the same room with-". 

"Well, I think I'll call it a night". Then, as if hearing those very words, Sakamoto stood up and stretched his arms up. Mutsu stood up too without arguing, and without lending a hand to Sakamoto even if he was tipsy. He seemed fine, surprisingly. "Comin' Zura?" 

"Yes, I'm also ready to leave". And then Zura stood up. 

Like a ball and chain, the atmosphere dropped and the tension returned. Regret spiraled in the minds of Gintoki and Takasugi when knowing they had already agreed to stick around for a little while longer. If they got up and left now, it would be awkward and it would most definitely appear that they don't want to be in the same room together, that they couldn'd mentally deal with that. Of course,Takasugi was less stable in that regard being the insane one. The room fell silent quickly when only four were left, two of them feeling much more awkward than the other two: that being Hijikata and Bansai. That was the original thought, anyway. 

"Well...". Hijikata smacked his knees, standing to his feet and provoking a look of betrayal on Gintoki's face as soon as he towered over him. "I'm gonna go buy cigarettes". 

"O-oi...!" Gintoki hissed, grabbing the cuff of Hijikata's pants. He tugged, and stopped him. "Don't just leave me here, alone!" He continued to whisper harshly, fearing that the two across the table would hear him."You can't even smoke here, anyway!" 

"I'll be right back, but it shouldn't take too long, anyway. The next cigarette vending machine is just next to the restaurant, after all". 

"H-Hijikata...!" 

Hijikata got the hell out of there, with all gazes following him until the door shut behind him, and all was quiet again. Then, Bansai also stood up-much to Takasugi's dismay. 

"I'll go buy more cigarettes for you, Shinsuke, since you couldn't bring your pipe". 

"B-Bansai...?!" Takasugi also hissed under his breath, unable to get his colleagues attention as he exited swiftly. "...". 

Takasugi made sure he wasn't visibly in a panic for being left in the same room with Gintoki, alone. It wasn't a panic, per se. It was simply the tension of ending up in the same room alone together after so long, without talking. The last award ceremony was the same, and Takasugi threw his fist towards Gintoki's face before he was stopped, before he gained composure again. It was on that night that Bansai brought him back, sharing a "magical night" with him in the ice storage room on top of a table with an uncomfortable surface. But now he didn't need Bansai. Right now he remained composed and thought he could handle a few minutes without being dragged away from the scene. Gintoki felt similar, knowing that he could wait a few moments before Hijikata returned. With that, it could he awkward but with four people instead of two; the two who had history and were intertwind in a one-sided hatred. But the silence was suffocating, and they needed air. 

"...I wonder what happened". Takasugi muttered, keeping his eye away from Gintoki. "For you to connect with so many people, playing your games as if you're so confident that you won't get hurt again". 

"...". 

"You haven't changed very much, I can see that now". 

"You couldn't see before?" Gintoki told himself not to say anything, in his head he tried to hold back. If he said anything... "I suppose not. That eye of yours has blinded you, hasn't it? With hatred...You've changed a lot, y'know, Takasugi". 

"...I know". 

They made their tones sound indifferent. Their gazes never met as they acted indifferent. They convinced themselves to act this way, forcing the biggest chunk of their past aside, but not for good reason. In fact, the wall they built to hold back those memories came crumbling down. Could you call this closure? Perhaps it was too much of a struggle to call it that. 

"You only did care about saving Sensei, didn't you?" Takasugi asked, anxiety and hesitance a very clear obstacle for him as the words were forced out, and he forced himself to keep a steady hand. 

"Where did that come from?" 

"Back then, we all fought for something, tried to change how the world works for the sake of our mentor. But you only cared about saving him. You didn't give a damn about the cause against the government dogs. Why do I say this? Because now I see you've become quite close with one, after everything that happened, everything we worked for". 

"...". 

Takasugi had recognised Hijikata. He knew. He must have known the moment he walked into the room. 

"Leave Hijikata out of it, will ya? And don't go assuming anything, alright? We're-". 

"It's none of my business what your relationship is. I'm just baffled...Out of all three of us, I would have assumed you would be the one to cling onto hatred, yet...Here you are playing house". 

"...". 

They glared at eachother. For the first time during the whole evening, for the first time in a long time, they got a good look at eachother with furrowed brows and mixed emotions in their gazes. A disquieting silence surrounded them, only more intense than before. This wasn't closure. This was almost...where they left off. 

... 

A dull clank emitted from the brightly lit vending machine, glowing in the dark of night, surrounded by nothing, occupied by Hijikata. He bent down to collect his new cigarette pack. When standing up straight again, a second presence had suddenly joined him-but he was aware that this person had came along to also buy cigarettes. Bansai stood there, leaning against the wall while waiting for Hijikata to take his leave. However, there were questions. He desired answers. Why be vague or miss out on the opportunity. 

"You...You're the Vice-Chief of the Shinsengumi, aren't you?" 

Their gazes met when that question passed by, and Bansai waited for the response that he expected. 

"I am. Why? Who wants to know?" 

"I was curious, I daresay. What exactly is your relationship with Gintoki Sakata?" 

"I don't see how that's any of your business". 

"It isn't, I daresay. However, from your song I sensed you were...quite close. It was almost similar to the bond I share with Shinsuke, but with more uncertainty and a slower rhythm to it". Song? Either that was this man's waymof saying he could read people and body language, or because it was so damn obvious and he decided to be more poetic about it. "I find it odd for Sakata-san to be involved with a government mutt, of all things". 

So he wasn't fond of cops either... 

"Why bring this up?" Hijikata questioned, his curiosity sprouting as this man, Bansai, continued to speak. 

"If you are as close to that man as I suspect, I can only imagine how much you know about his relationship with Shinsuke. Do you know that they grew up together?" 

"...Somewhat, yes. But there's a lot I still don't know about". 

"I see...Shinsuke never talks about his past to me. Perhaps bits and pieces from his childhood, but his most painful memories, why he became so distant towards his old friends...He keeps everything locked away. There is only so much that I have been informed of, I daresay. And all I can do is wait for him to open his heart to me. If my suspicions are correct about your own relationship, I wonder if you feel the same about Sakata-san". 

This man...Bansai Kawakami. By the sound of things, he must have been close with Takasugi, but in what sense? It sounded more intimate than one would expect. Then again, Hijikata shared an intmate relationship with Gintoki-and Bansai suspected this. They had a connection; being involved with two men who hid their pasts away and locked everything up inside. They were on common ground there, although Bansai appeared to have a lowly opinion of cops and the government. But right now...Was he indirectly asking for advice? When seeing-or sensing-Hijikata's close relationship with Gintoki, did he wish to get closer to Takasugi, too? Well, closer than he currently stood. Hijikata wasn't aware of the details himself, but Gintoki said that it was time for him to find out. It didn't take much, but one thing that perhaps added to Gintoki's confidence, his need to open up and pour his heart out... 

"I would give it time". Was Hijikata's response. "There is a lot I don't know about Gintoki, but being patient and coming to a point where you trust eachother greatly, he's sure to open up to you soon enough". 

"I see...Hm, what an interesting song you have. As the Demonic Vice-chief, I was expecting a Rock song, and instead I can hear a piano and violin duet, ond without the other currently. It's quite romantic, and I'm interested to hear it until the very end, I daresay". 

What an unusal individual. He seemed familiar to Hijikata, like he had seen him before. But he couldn't figure out where he had seen him before. These words, however, were totally foreign. Was Gintoki a part of this "duet"? Seemed like it...More questions were raised on Hijikata's part, and he wondered if Gintoki would end up explaining the relationship he used to have with Takasugi in more detail. Eventually, perhaps. Now? That, he couldn't be sure of. 

... 

Both Hijikata and Bansai entered the room once again, and the silence was broken between Gintoki and Takasugi. Sitting back down, they entered their own conversation between two; Takasugi and Bansai spoke among themselves, Gintoki and Hijikata spoke among themselves. 

"You manage, Gintoki?" Hijikata asked, stuffing his new pack of cigarettes into his other pant's pocket. 

"Oh, sure. It was only extremely awkward". 

"Look, I'm sorry about that. But I'm here now, we can finish off the booze and leave before it gets too late". 

"Fine. Let's not stay for too long...Feel like I'm going crazy here". 

Meanwhile, on the other side of the table... 

"What kept you?" Takasugi asked Bansai this question quite casually. He didn't sound angry or irritated, seeing as Bansai did take longer than necessary to buy a pack of cigarettes. 

"The vending machine wouldn't take my money, I daresay. Did you feel uncomfortable waiting?" 

"I did, but it's not a big deal now. Thanks for buying the cigarettes". Takasugi took the pack, slipping it inside his suit's jacket pocket. 

"Would you like another drink?" 

"Um...Sure, why not? I haven't had that much to drink, anyway. One more couldn't hurt". 

Bansai poured Takasugi a drink, as Hijikata did for Gintoki. They all drank, keeping to themselves. To fill the silence, and distract themselves, another drink was poured and they drank. They drank for a third time, and a fourth from the small sake cups until visions began to blur...Gintoki's vision blurred. Takasugi felt a little dizzy. Bansai and Hijikata...only had two drinks, and were totally fine. 

Takasugi was the first to slam down his cup, his cheeks red, his mind unfocused. Gintoki tipped his sake cup, leaning his head back for the leftover droplets that slid out and hit his chin instead of his tongue. He licked it, disappointed, but still tipsy from the other four drinks. 

"Hic!...Bansai...pour me another...If you don't mind...". Takasugi's speech slurred. Oh god. This was weird. This was very weird. 

"Haven't you had enough, Shinsuke?" Bansai tried to be reasonable, pushing the serving of sake (or whatever was left of it) far away from Takasugi's grasp. The ceramic flask fround against the wood of the table, but the sound went unnoticed in Takasugi's daze. 

"So stingy...Oi, how come you're fine? Did you not drink the same amount as me?" 

"No...But it wouldn't matter, since I have a high tolerance for alcohol". 

"That's bullshit...But you-hic! You're...really something, huh, Bansai? Hm? I...I like you, you know that?" 

"I...like you too, Shinsuke". 

This wasn't the first time Bansai had witnessed Takasugi in a druken state. It was only once, but he discovered how happy and talkative he was compared to his sober, composed self. Gintoki wasn't any better... 

"Awh, man~. Oi, Hijikata-kun~...Any more booze?" 

"I think you've had enough for tonight". 

"Aw-...Don't. Don't be nasty~...Hehe, you're-...You're nasty, Hijikata. So, so nasty~". Gintoki leaned in to Hijikata, about to kiss him. In response-an immediate one-Hijikata covered Gintoki's mouth when a gag struggled from his throat, and his nostrils weeped from the strong stink of alcohol. 

"Oh, god! You reek of sake! Pull yourself together already, moron!" 

"O-oh god...I'm soooo sorry~. I-...I forgot they were here...Hahaha!" 

"That isn't the point, fucking idiot!" 

"You-...You are so rude. I'll kick your ass...". 

This was Gintoki's druken state: the bipolar stage, to be exact. With the right amount of booze in his system, his moods changed as though they were controlled by the flick of a switch with the options of "Giddy" or "Aggressive". In some cases, both came into play, making him just whiny and obnoxious. 

"Ooh! I know! They have UNO here! Let's play UNO!" Gintoki had practically pounced from his chair like a kindergartner with his hand waving in the air, waiting for the teacher to pay attention to him. All of a sudden, Gintoki was much more open when talking to Takasugi, including him. 

"Hahh? Why should I play UNO with you?" Takasugi was reluctant, but he spoke more outwardly. Where had his character gone? 

"Cause we need to liven uo this party, Shorty. If I learned anythin' from birthday parties, or parties in general, UNO is fun for everyone and excites people". 

"Who the fuck are you callin' Shorty...?" Takasugi snarled, aggressive. Gintoki snarled back, staring him down. They were like dogs in a turf war, looking directly at eachother. 

"O-kay, fine. I'll get UNO". Hijikata voluntarily stood up to get the card game from...somewhere. If this didn't break the tension, then what the fuck would? "Don't do anything stupid while I'm gone". 

"Bye~, Hijikata~". 

"I'm not leaving yet, idiot!" Although Hijikata partially wished he was.... 

... 

A pile of cards had been thrown down, stacking up each turn. Each member held their cards, tossing down each one that matched the last by number or colour. It was a tame game so far, although Gintoki and Takasugi could barely concentrate and needed their "partner's" assistance. To Hijikata and Bansai, seeing them interact so casually compared to the tension before...It was so different, like this used to be the norm' for them, while sober. Being left with one last card, Gintoki cried "UNO". 

"How come you have UNO?" Takasugi questioned it, suspicious of Gintoki for no real reason. 

"Cause I'm better at it than you, duuh". 

Despite the improved mood, they began acting like children...Bansai then threw down his second to last card. 

"UNO...". He muttered. 

"See? Bansai's good at UNO. You're just lucky...". 

"How can you get lucky at UNO?! I'm better than you, that's it!" 

"Actually, UNO is more of a chance game, as it depends on what cards you recieve and which cards are thrown down". Not only was Bansai good at UNO, but he understood the system. 

"Wow, ain't your boyfriend smart, Takasugi~? He...He is, isn't he? You're boyfriends...". 

"That's none of your business...What about you and the mutt there?" 

"Mind your own bees-wax!" Gintoki slammed his hands on the table, but was not intimidating at all. 

"Will you two settle down? Fuckin' hell...". Hijikata rolled his eyes, making a hand gesture for Takasugi to take his turn. He ended up throwing down a trick card, forcing Hijikata-being the one who had the next turn-to pick up another two cards. "Okay! Now that's bullshit! I just picked up two cards!" 

"Relax, Hijikata-kun...It's a game. Just a game". Hijikata passed on a displeased expression at Gintoki, who brushed it off, and continued to pick up another card from the spare deck. "Man, I haven't played this since high school. You remember, Takasugi?" 

"...I don't". 

"Sure you do. During club, we'd join classes and play until we lost track of the time. You were a sore loser then too". 

"Tch, speak for yourself". 

Hijikata was silent. Bansai was silent. They watched. Quietly-not a word-they watched the two speak normally without tension. Had they gone back a few years when they were still close? It was the alcohol, of course. With the alcohol, they forgot and brushed the past off without remembering, without thinking. They were relaxed right now, as if they were the only two people in the room, where no one else could hear. 

"Oh, Hijikata, you didn't know this but I was in the art club for a couple years, then I chilled in the literacy club with Takasugi". It sounded so normal... 

"It was bothersome for me...". 

What happened in their past? What was so bad that they stopped talking? What made them so distant? And why could they only talk to eachother with alcohol in their systems, putting their minds at ease and in a relaxed place. 

"UNO...". Takasugi was left with one card then, and the game continued.

"It's...weird seeing you do something like this again, y'know. Feels like...the old days". Gintoki also continued talking, sounding more composed with sentences, although his words did still slurr while still under the influence. "Almost feels like we're a couple of teenagers again, but we...seem to argue a lot less, huh?" 

"...". 

Takasugi didn't say a word, keeping his eye on the cards without a single comment to that. Gintoki was rambling, and it was hard to tell if even he realised it. 

"Back then, you'd count points, and you looked so proud whenever you beat me. It seemed like you weren't doing it for fun...". 

"...". 

Bansai threw down his last card, winning the game. And then, Takasugi threw down his last card according to matching colours. Gintoki and Hijikata were still left in the game, but the focus shifted. Takasugi didn't say anything. Even after beating Gintoki, he said nothing and formed no proud facial expression of victory against his rival. 

"Look at that...You beat me. But...It's strange, it seemed like, this time around, you-...?" 

Takasugi struggled to his feet, having Bansai follow him to prevent him from collapsing. 

"Shinsuke...!" 

"...". Takasugi said nothing, still. Even after interupting Gintoki, he had no counter-attack to his ramblings. "Bansai, I've had enough...Let's go home alre-hic!...Already...". 

Bansai hesitated. He felt disappointed, somehow. Only after hearing a little more about Takasugi's past, Takasugi backed away. But he nodded in understanding of Takasugi's wishes, and draped his arm around his shoulders. 

"Alright, Shinsuke, can you walk?" 

"...Yes, I can walk". 

"...I'll call a car. Sakata-san, tell Sakamoto-san thank you for inviting us...Goodnight". 

"...". 

The two slowly made their way towards the door, but with a tug of Bansai's sleeve they stopped. Takasugi turned his head, but couldn't see Gintoki as the bandage around his eye shrouded his vision. He put up with this, and spoke.

"Gintoki...Don't think that, just because I've had a few drinks with you and played your silly games, that I'm chummy with you. No matter how you try to reach out to me...I will still never forgive you. You hear me? I really...despise you...". 

"...Let's go, Shinsuke. Do you feel sick?" 

They left. All was quiet once more. The turning in Gintoki's stomach was a sickening mixture of guilt and booze. He took a deep breath in order to relax and hopefully keep his meal down. Dizziness crowded his head while it swayed for a second. Shaking it, he focused-although it was just enough to stay in a composed state. Hijikata couldn't take his eyes off of Gintoki for a moment. Conflicted, he wished to say something but at the same time he didn't want to cause Gintoki anymore discomfort. But it couldn't be helped. He was worried. 

"Gintoki, are you-...". 

Gintoki raised his hand, stopping Hijikata from saying anymore. Gintoki actually managed a smile, his cheeks red with intoxication. He looked Hijikata in the eyes, dropping his hand back down onto his lap. 

"Don't ask...I'm alright...Really, I'm fine. Just wasted and stupid right now...". Gintoki scratched the back of his head, running his fingers through his natural perm. "I shouldn't have rambled on, but what can ya do? Ah...Ahem, we...We should get going too, before they stop driving cabs out at this time of night. Wanna help me up?" 

"...Sure. Hold on tight". 

Using his strength, letting a strained groan escape from the back of his throat, Hijikata pulled Gintoki up to his feet and carried him out the door. There was some staggering and dragging of the feet. Hijikata was using his strength for them both, but his mind was elsewhere as autopilot led him out the door, and his voice came out to say good evening and a thank you to the waiter who originally served them. Hijikata's curiosity had somewhat eased, and he didn't feel as eager to learn about Gintoki's past. He wanted too, of course, but he wasn't as impatient to learn what happened. What he heard from Takasugi...Those spiteful words, uttering hatred at Gintoki...He couldn't believe it. Perhaps anything involving Takasugi was better left for a whole other story. Tonight was not the time for that, especially with alcohol running through Gintoki's system, going in two totally different directions. Best to put him to bed as soon as they got back, let him rest, and forget for a while...Let him forget those spiteful words. But, in reality, even when drunk, Hijikata knew it wouldn't be that easy for Gintoki. 

... 

In the darkness, Bansai managed to adjust the apartment keys in hand, even when carrying Takasugi in his arms, allowing him to cling around his neck and sleep with his head against his shoulder. The door was unlocked and opened, pushed open by Bansai's foot and closed the same way. Takasugi probably wasn't going to wake up anytime soon so it was ideal to put him to bed and let him shower in the morning. The smell of sake was thinner than before, and Takasugi was more tense in Bansai's arms. So light... 

Carefully, with as much caution and care as possible, Bansai carried Takasugi to the downstairs guest bedroom, as going upstairs could be dangerous. The guest bedroom was mostly used for book storage, but it was kept clean and there was a perfectly comfortable bed with soft sheets and pillows. When entering, Bansai was gentle to rest Takasugi onto the bed. He expected Takasugi's clinging arms to fall limply by his sides as soon as Bansai's pulled away. They didn't, and Takasugi clung onto him still, digging his nails into the collar of Bansai's shirt. 

"...Shinsuke?" He whispered, unable to pull away, leaning his hands against the matress to keep himself from collapsing. 

Takasugi's hid his face away under his bangs, holding Bansai close by the nape of his neck with their foreheads meeting in the middle. 

"...". 

"Shinsuke...Have you sobered up, or...?" 

"I...I have". Takasugi mumbled, rubbing his forehead and silky bangs over Bansai's, taking an inhale of breath and releasing the smell of sake within the exhale of breath. Sliding his hands down Bansai's broad shoulders, they parted away from eachother slightly but remained close and personal. Takasugi made the effort to sit up, despite still feelijg dizzy and disoriented. 

"Are you feeling alright? Want a glass of water?" Takasugi shook his head in response. 

"No...Nothing like that...You know, I...I didn't intend to enjoy myself...". Takasugi gulped, those very words puzzling Bansai. He was quiet, however, and allowed Takasugi to proceed. "I didn't intend to have fun...I'll blame it on the alcohol, or the fact that I had you with me, but I...I still...". 

"You sound ashamed. Is it because of him?" 

"...Ashamed isn't the right way to put it. I feel...angry. I feel so angry and stupid for getting so wrapped up in his stupid games. I'm tired of it. I'm so tired, Bansai...I don't want to get cosy around him ever again, because I-...". 

"I know...I know you don't". 

"You...are the one person who can never betray me. You're the one person who can't do any wrong...I believe you would never, but if you did...". 

Bansai ran his fingers across Takasugi's bangs to push them away from his shrouded face. With his fingers, he loosened the bandages and allowed them to all and drift down, circling onto Takasugi's lap inch by inch. Finally he raised his head and looked at Bansai with his one, good eye. The scar appeared again, the sensation just below his left eye like leather in one, sliver of skin. As if embarrassed, Takasugi lowered his head again, and his bangs covered his scar. 

"Shinsuke...". Bansai met the tip of Takasugi's nose with his own as a way to comfort him, as a way to inch closer for a kiss. "I would never do that. You know I wouldn't, because...I...Because you're very important to me, Shinsuke. More important than anything else...". 

"...I feel the same way". 

Cupping Takasugi's face lightly, Bansai brushed his lips with his quite anxiously. But it appeared Takasugi was ready to take the initiative when he properly smooched Bansai without allowing another breath of air to pass. The kiss wasn't deep or heated or overly-passionate. It was simply, affectionate and caring. Their emotions intertwind in this safe haven where no one else could see. Takasugi felt secure with Bansai's big hands holding him, and with those soft lips kissing just about anywhere he saw fit. He felt like a hypocrite for criticising Gintoki's choice to get close to people, for getting attached in a game of "house", when he himself had become so attached to Bansai. He was so attached, and he was stubborn to let go anytime soon. Bansai was his most trusted companion and friend...His partner...Takasugi couldn't bring himself to trust anyone as deeply as this. He would never let anyone else see his scars. For Bansai, he could hold his head low while keeping his dignity, while being his equal. No one else could see, no one else could know, or understand. Only Bansai...and "that man" could see these scars. 

... 

Hijikata had some trouble carrying Gintoki on piggy-back. The guy was heavy and probably still wasted. He thought this when entering the apartment with his back aching, the sensation similar to having his spine crushed under the weight of smooth, but heavy, rocks. The pain came from the very center of his back, and with the pain cracking and popping his bones, he had no choice but to put Gintoki down as soon as they entered the apartment. 

"Aah...Haah, hey, you okay?" Hijikata asked, ignoring his own pain for now to check on Gintoki's condition. Gintoki leaned on him a little longer, his speech still slurred. 

"I'm good...Still sobering up...Oh, man...". 

"Need a hand showering? You look like you could use it". 

"Nah, nah, I'll be fine myself. Jus'...gimme a minute". 

"Are you gonna puke?" 

"Nuh-uh...I think I can handle it". 

"Don't hold it in, though. You'll make it worse if you don't let it out". 

"God, you sound like Zura...Really, I'm alright, Hijikata. Don't worry so much". 

Hijikata had a right to worry, stupid. Seeing Gintoki on the verge of vomiting (that being obvious by his pale complexion and constant swaying in his body), Hijikata would naturally worry. Even when Gintoki uttered those recycled words of "I'm fine" Hijikata stepped in and took to lending Gintoki his shoulder once more to at least take him to the bathroom and maybe help him stip in case he was still drunk enough to collpase and hit his head before managing to remove his sweater.

"Oi, Hijikata...". Gintoki muttered as he managed to walk a straight line with the assistance of Hijikata's shoulder. 

"What is it?" 

"I was thinkin'...When I sober up more, I wanna...I wanna tell you about the photograph you found...". 

Hijikata had frozen on the spot, intrigued but for a mere moment as he knew there was more to focus on. 

"It doesn't have to be now. Let's focus on getting a shower, a bath, and putting you to bed so you can sleep off your drunken stuper". 

"Oi, I'm not even that drunk anymore. Besides, I wanna show you now. You've been dying to know about it since you found it. So...When can focus on showering, bathing and then when I'm completely sober, I'll tell you as much as I see fit, alright?" 

"...". 

No response. How do you respond to that? Hijikata said absolutely nothing, but agreed to it as long as Gintoki was sober after taking a bath. If Gintoki wasn't fully aware, then what was the point? This was something special, and important. It needed to be taken seriously, and anyone who knew him couldn't take a drunk, or even tipsy, Gintoki seriously. A shower, a bath, a change of clothes, and then the moment of truth as long as Gintoki had his head on straight. Hijikata took a breath, and prepared himself. Perhaps Gintoki wouldn't go into his whole life story, but would go into more bits and pieces of his childhood...Perhaps the important pieces... 

... 

Gintoki had sobered up. And with Gintoki being sober, it was much more sincere and meaningful to cuddle up under the bedsheets and examine the photograph together. Hijikata listened, and didn't make any attempt to speak until Gintoki had finished. He wanted to listen. Momentarily he found himself distracted by the rhythm of Gintoki's heartbeat against his hand, and the soft breathing flowing through Hijikata'a hair as he listened to Gintoki speak. 

"To the right there, that's Zura-the kid with the ponytail. Beside him, more to the left, is Takasugi". He appeared so differently without the bandage covering his left eye, almost unrecognisable. "Then, between them, there's me. I was obviously quite handsome then too, when I was eight". 

"Haha...You're so full of yourself". 

"You know me: I'm not shy to admit how handsome I am. If only I didn't have this perm". A little off-topic, but the light-hearted comment was needed. "Those were the days when Takasugi and I actually talked. I mean, we mostly argued. It was competitive, kinda like us, but we had a point system for every win, loss and tie. Didn't matter what it was, if we had to out-best eachother then it became a competition to see who came out on top of the other. It was more frequent in high school when he had exams and pop tests...". 

"Were you guys really friends?" 

"Sure. We had our more civil moments, too. Sometimes I would visit him in the literacy clubroom and read manga alongside him while he read novels. I guess you could say we were good friends, despite all the other shit we fought over...Seems so long ago, now that everything's changed. And a part of me wants things to go back to the way they were, y'know...". 

"Is that whynyou rambled a bit earlier? It wasn't just the alcohol talking...". 

"No, it was. But they say a drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts". 

Gintoki paused, and stared at the photo grapsed between his fingers with a clear affinity for the memories contained within. He sighed, accepting what was the come next. 

"I suppose you wanna know about the man too?" 

"It's only naturally that I do, Gintoki. But if you feel uncomfortable or anything...". 

"N-no, I'm not gonna back out. I do wanna tell ya, Hijikata. I want you to know and understand. If I don't tell you now, I might never tell you. Haah...That man...His name was Shouyo Yoshida. He was my teacher and he was very important to me. When I was a kid, I barely had anything. No family, no friends, no home. Shouyo-sensei found me one day in the rain, offering his umbrella to me while he allowed himself to get drenched. He smiled and held out his hand to me when no one else would...". 

Gintoki was never the type to ask for help. This only came as a thought to Hijikata because he knew Gintoki as an adult. How Gintoki acted and thought as a child was a whole different story that he could never fully understand. What Gintoki must have went though to be here...It was unimaginable. 

"He took me in, taught me how to read, write, play checkers, sketch...That's kinda the reason why I got into the art club in high school. In just a year he taught me so much, most of his teachings not needing books or anything. His last wish to me...was for me to be happy, right before he was taken away from me-from...From us...". 

Gintoki's voice trembled, but he composed himself with another inhale of breath and a deep exhale to calm his nerves. Hijikata couldn't take his eyes off of Gintoki's face, a face with an unreadable emotion-one that could not possibly be described with one word. There was sorrow and acceptance in those eyes, neither acting as a positive emotion for him to experience when looking so far back into his past. 

"He's gone now...He's been gone for a long time, and a long time ago I made a choice to accept that for my sake, and for everyone else who has gotten so close to me and pulled me out of the past. Shinpachi, Kagura, the old hag, Zura...Everyone...That includes you, Hijikata. I never thought I would be...cuddling up to someone in bed, digging up the past so you could understand. I never thought I would talk about Shouyo-sensei like this, but I'm glad I did. I'm glad you listened, and that you tried so hard to get me to open up. Thanks, Hijikata...". 

Their eyes met, and they actually smiled faintly at eachother. With their hearts racing, it was only naturally to kiss at least once without moving any deeper into it with lustful intent. Closing their eyes, a very soft and tender kiss left them both feeling warm and appreciative of...eachother. Although it wasn't something they could say out loud, it was still a shared feeling. They appreciated having eachother, willing to listen when in the most comfortable and confident state of mind. And it would happen more often from this point. 

They shared a gaze once more when the kiss parted. Hijikata held back his bottom lip, the sake still lingering from Gintoki's. It was a little sweeter and less pungent... 

"So...". Hijikata began again, looking at the photograph with interest. "Is there anymore stories you wanna share about your teacher? What kind of things did he teach?" 

"You really wanna know? Well...In class, I mostly fell asleep during lectures, so...". 

"Why am I not surprised?" 

"Ah, but I did pay attention when he taught us how to fold origami figures. The most I could make was cranes and...a dog". 

"Hm, anything else?" 

"There's a lot, actually. We'll be talkin' until morning, y'know". 

Gintoki's voice didn't tremble, and he didn't falter once when explaining the different lessons he learned from his teacher. Hijikata felt more in touch, and he felt closer to Gintoki. In hte beginning of their relationship, these words were never said openly. Nothing was ever discussed about their past. Looking at how far they had come-realising it-Hijikata felt touched, as did Gintoki deep down. To traverse any deeper into eachother's hearts, where would they end up? When would it end? Would there ever be a limit to these stories and the pain hidden deeper within? Yes, somewhere. But to reach it took time, as it always did. Hijikata had spoken those very words to Bansai hours ago. They had plenty of time to take things slowly and move onto the next step. But...Once all was said and done...What was the next step for them?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter I have planned should be better, but I still had fun writing this. I love drunk Gintoki, and the idea of a drunk Takasugi...Love it. People got closer, past stuff was revealed to Hijikata...I'm more satisfied with this than my original idea. If this was not great to you, then I'll make the next one better and maybe a bit more feels-y.


	26. One Year Older, And Everything Still Feels the Same

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And I'm back. Just a quick note here: I know an idea like this has been done to death by now, but I wanted to write my own version and try to differentiate it from the other one-million ideas in both fanfictions and doujinshi's. So, here it is. I hope you enjoy and I don't disappoint anyone this chapter.

No matter how dark it had quickly become outside, Gintoki lay awake in bed to watch the minutes tick by on the face of his alarm clock. He was uncertain as to why he waited, lying there without the desire to fall alseep yet. Usually the comfort of his bed was solace after working on the novel or spending a long, tireless night with Hijikata until the very end. Gintoki's mind had gone blank as he watched in a trance of the clock hands ticking away. All he could hear was the ticking above the sound of his own breathing. And then the hands twitched, overlapping at midnight. Gintoki sighed, turning on his back.

It was hard to say, but he didn't feel any different. Perhaps it didn't kick in during the first few seconds, but he thought that the idea of turning a year older would eventually swing a figurative boot into his side. What sense was there to wait for the turn of the day? To wait until he felt old? He didn't feel any older...Maybe that thought had already kicked in long before today, and he dismissed it because today was supposed to be the day to drag him down and make him feel like an old man. It didn't. He didn't feel older. It all felt the same, as it did every year. Of course it would. Of course... 

... 

... 

When exactly did he fall asleep that night? It wasn't possible to remember. But he was conscious of it when he felt something wet and wide slick his face while his eyes were still closed. He groaned, trying to remember if Hijikata stayed over last night. He didn't. Besides, Hijikata wouldn't wake Gintoki up by licking his face; such a shameless thing to do for a guy like him. So the only other person it could be was...No, the only thing it could be was that dog... 

"Happy Birthday, Gin-chan!" 

The second Gintoki opened his eyes, surprised the dog, Sadaharu, leaning in way too close, panting and licking his face. Kagura had cried something, and a popping noise practically echoing in his head at the exact same time. Despite the sunshine pouring through the windows, almost blinding him, Gintoki squinted and tried to focus on Kagura. She was standing by his bed, party popper in hand. That explained the noise. Confetti was spread over the bed. A mess. Rubbing his eyes, Gintoki wanted to allow his mind to catch up with the situation, but it was pretty clear what had happened. Kagura wanted to wake him up and wish him a happy birthday today. He realised that it was a kind gesture, but the weight of his body only wanted to drag him back down into sleep. 

"Mm...Kagura, what time is it?" 

"Twelve-thirty. I let ya sleep in for once, aru". 

They really did let him sleep in. But it was true that he often got up at around seven to make breakfast and send Kagura off to school before going to work himself, if he needed to. It was the weekend, so Kagura didn't have school. Didn't mean that Gintoki didn't have work. He sat up, strained and sore in his back. Eyelids were heavy, a yawn was stuck at the back of his throat, and the need to stretch was unbearable. He raised his arms to rid himself of the strain. Bones cracked and popped, mainly from his spine; although this was the best method for tight muscles and sore bones. 

"Are you gettin' up? Shinpachi and I were gonna take you out for brunch, so...". 

"Wait, you were?" Gintoki relaxed his body, ignoring Sadaharu as he hopped up on his lap. "Nah, nah, you kids don't need to do that". 

"Yeah, we do. C'mon~, we're already waiting for you to get your ass up-the both of us. You can get anything you want since we saved up and everything". 

These kids...Gintoki was too old to be spoiled, especially by a couple of brats. Really, he didn't expect any of this. He didn't expect them to save up for today. They should save money and spend it on shopping trips and laptops for college. Basically, the money they save was always meant for them. Technically the allowance Gintoki had been giving to Kagura was being sent straight back to him as a gift. What a waste. However... 

"Well...If it gets me outta work, then sure. But you don't have to spend-". 

"Shut it. Of course we do. It's your birthday, aru. Now come on. Get up". Kagura grabbed Gintoki by the wrist, struggling and groaning in order to pull him onto his feet. Her teeth were clenched, digging her heels into the floor while Gintoki idly sat by without moving an inch. He rolled his eyes. 

"Alright, I'm up...I'm up, so quit pulling me! Damn brat...". 

Kagura let go of him only to dash to the bedroom door enthusiastically with a wide grin on her face. Sadaharu followed after her, barking with absolutely no knowledge as to why she was so happy. 

"Cool. Now hurry and get ready, aru! We're goin' out! Shinpachi, he's up!" She opened up the door, calling out to Shinpachi as she left the room silent. 

Running his fingers through his hair, Gintoki could still feel the pull of the matress that would send him straight back to sleep if he lay down. He didn't, however. Too much hassle if Kagura walked back in and started pulling him in the opposite direction again. With no other choice he had to get up and allow these kids to treat him to brunch. If that was it, then that was it. Nothing else. 

He didn't want to expect anything at all. At his age the kind of presents he was happy to receive was sweets. There was no use in giving him money since he had that tucked away securely in his bank account. If he could ask for anything else he could only narrow it down to a working cartridge of Dragon Quest. Not the modern, Nintendo version, but the classic with pixelated graphics and simple mechanics. In this day and age, no such thing existed on shelves. Instead he was stuck with the alternative: the series of Zelda games...on Nintendo. It had already been established that Gintoki was not a materialistic man. Although, some years ago before he wrote books he was in dire need for money, always. Currently, some years after writing a whole series of novels and short stories for magazines, money was no longer an issue. He didn't care to receive much this year either, if anything. If others decided on their own to impose, the likelyhood that this year he would receive booze and sweets was probable. He didn't want anything else. With the circumstances as they were...There was nothing else he could have. 

... 

The Previous Day... 

... 

"Huh? Seriously? I swear, those higher-ups are working you tax thieves to the bone". 

Gintoki had pulled a smirk, shifting the ramen within its bowl. On that afternoon, the sun swiftly disappearing behind the buildings of Tokyo, Hijikata had gotten out of his long shift to finally meet Gintoki at their usual ramen place. He couldn't stay for too long, though; night shifts kept him busy. In the middle of their meal, when the bowls and serving of sake was half empty, Hijikata informed Gintoki about the recent crimes polluting the more shady areas of Tokyo; mainly situated in the red light district. Yet another murder. Someone walks into the wrong part of town, drunk out of his mind, he gets mugged, tries to stand up for himself in his drunken stuper, is stabbed to death as the mugger's pride is damaged by a madao trying to walk home, back to his wife and teenage children. That kind of story. In short, Hijikata was having to work extra hours for the investigation. This was a wide-spread matter among the red light district. Bunch of penniless, and dickless, punks trying to rob drunkards in the streets. And who had to clean up after them? Hijikata...Hijikata had to clean up the mess. 

"I've had more back-breaking jobs on the force. This is nothing compared to everything else I've done. If I were on security then I would surely receive pettier work". 

"I'm sure you'll clear up the mess, Mr Demonic Vice-Chief. Those brats had no idea what they were getting themselves into, since you're involved".

"Should I be flattered?" A cigarette was lit up-safely within a smoking booth of the restaurant-and the smoke naturally drifted in Gintoki's general direction. He wasn't bothered by it, maintaining an aloof smile while swatting the cloud of smoke away. 

"So, how long are ya gonna be busy for this time?" 

"I'd say...Mmm, maybe just a few days. The investigation could take up to two at the very least, depending on suspects and evidence". 

Two days he said. Gintoki's expression faltered, the smirk disappearing. He was fazed, in a blank state of mind as he processed that information. With that estimate, there was no use counting the days. Gintoki registered the possibility that Mr Demonic Vice-Chief would be busy working away on a couple of murder cases all the way through until the eleventh of October. The day after... 

"I see". Despite the slight falter in expression, Gintoki had put up with keeping a smile, pretending that he wasn't bothered by the inconvenience that was Hijikata's job. He wouldn't let it bother him. "Should be fun for you to take a job in the red light district. I didn't have too much trouble when I used to live there with Granny, though. Seems like an entirely new place with all the crime going around". 

"Gintoki, you know that...I'm already perfectly aware about the tenth; about your birthday". 

Gintoki's mood and his smile straightened out once again, his eyes no longer focusing on Hijikata. To try and look up after that...He found it difficult. He found it rather awkward. Felt like his birthday was an obstacle to Hijikata's important work. That's what botyered him. It bothered him like a stubborn itch clinging to an arm or leg that was broken-numb and out of reach; it was a pain but it couldn't be helped-the fact that it couldn't go away easily. To put it metaphorically, it was better to leave the itch alone and prevent rashes and more unnecessary pain. In this case, it was better to leave it alone and let Hijikata do his job to prevent either of them from feeling selfish. 

"What are talking about?" Managing a smile again, Gintoki began to back away from the itch and leave it be. "That has nothing to do with this". 

"Like hell it doesn't. What, don't you want me to come see you on your birthday? Or would you feel bad because I would have to miss out on work?" 

"Oi, can you drop it already? Stuff like birthdays...They don't feel as special to me anymore, anyway. That's the thing when you grow up: getting older feels like more of a drag than a leg-up to adulthood". 

"Even so...". 

"Look, go do your job instead of worrying about me, for once. It isn't a big deal. It's like any other day that we don't see eachother, the only difference being that I'm turning a year older. Anyone would want to miss out on such a depressing parade". 

"...You're such an idiot". 

"Hey. You're the idiot for getting so worked-up. Now hurry up and finish. You've gotta get back to work tonight, don't you?" 

Such atmosphere was discomforting, leaving behind a bitter taste in their mouths that drove them away from picking up their sake cups for the last sip at the bottom. Hijikata was frustrated. Gintoki was more aloof, or tried to be. What they had discussed turned aggressive, sounding more like a serious fight over something that seemed so petty. An actual, serious fight that lasted for a few minutes before they forcefully dropped the subject. 

"...I can't...". Hijikata chose to speak, and it immediatly became clear that he wasn't ready to drop the subject without some sort of closure. "I can't say that I'll wrap up the investigation as quickly as possible so I can see you. There's no way for me to guarantee that, but...I would like to think that we could see eachother, even if it only lasted for a few minutes". 

"Yeah, well...It's not that easy". Gintoki took out his wallet, slipping his fingers through to pick out a couple hundred yen to pay for his side of the meal. "Hijikata, you and I both know that life doesn't work that way. We're not living in a fairy tail where anything and everything works out the way you want in the end" 

The money was tossed down in the center of the table. Gintoki stood, taking a slow walk towards the exit. He waited for Hijikata in his own way, and ended up provoking a sigh as Hijikata took out his own wallet to offically end their two-hour long date. Gintoki's cold attitude, along with such an aloof smirk to mask his true feelings, never did bode well with Hijikata. It bothered him, just as much as the situation bothered Gintoki, in actuality. So frustrating, yet what could be done? Again, Hijikata's work got in the way and Gintoki brushed it off, trying too hard to avoid being unhappy with the situation. But he had reason not to complain so directly. 

Walking together down the usual path without saying a word to eachother would obviously cause tension and an awkward vibe to run between them. It was unbearable, and would only drag on unless some sort of initiative came into play. Ignoring the dead-eyed expression on Gintoki's face-which often made his blood boil-Hijikata grabbed Gintoki's wrist, pulling the attached hand from the coat pocket in which Gintoki had buried it. Smoothly, Hijikata slid his fingers down Gintoki's wrist and locked hands, intertwining their fingers as if it was nothing, like a casual handshake. 

"What're you doing?" Gintoki questioned it, but didn't sound too bothered by the sudden gesture. 

"What does it look like?" 

Hijikata maintained composure. Although, that didn't fit with such an affectionate gesture. 

"Haah...I seriously don't understand why you're making such a fuss. You're a guy, aren't you? Why the hell do you feel so bad about this?" 

"...". Gintoki wasn't being totally serious with his words, although he should have been, probably. Hijikata hesitated, but soon enough the words flowed. "When I told you about the investigation, and how long I would be busy for...It was only for a second, but you looked disappointed, like you wanted to see me on the tenth. And you do, don't you?" 

"...". Stubborn. Gintoki was a stubborn man. Always the one to act coldly and walk away without lettting the wall around his true feelings crumble. And he found himself admitting that he was bothered, annoyed, pissed off with how perceptive this guy was. "Hah...Wow. You got me...I'd...be lyin' if I said I didn't". 

"...!" 

"But! I'd only feel like shit if you were to miss out on work just to spend even a few hours with me for one day. We can see eachother any other time, alright? I'm serious. Don't try turning up at my doorstep to say "happy birthday" when you should be arresting some douchebag off the street, who's causing more misery than I'll have spending the last few hours of my birthday, alone, with a glass of wine and some old dramas playin' on the T.V. Do your job, you tax robber. And stop worrying so much...". 

Putting his foot down on that one, wasn't he? To be so firm and stubborn...Although Hijikata was exactly the same. Showed how good they were as a pair. Take that as you please, whether these two and their similar, god awful traits made them a perfect match, or calling them a "good pair" was casual sarcasm. Hijikata didn't add anything more to Gintoki's firm and assertive argument. No promises were made that he wouldn't show up with a cake and a kiss and "happy birthday". If that were to happen, it would feel more special. But the chances that it would happen, due to work, were slim. Once again he found himself wanting to wrap this investigation up, he wanted to see Gintoki as soon as it was over. Considering the size of this case, it could be over in just a few days. Although the chances were slim, there was always a possibility. 

"C'mon...I'll drop ya off at the station before I head home". 

The conversation was dropped, but Hijikata's thoughts continued into a manic cycle of wanting to see him during his special day. He didn't know why it was so important to him, but there was an idea that lay hidden at the back of his mind. It was more of a memory; vague, with every image spinning in circles, tightening up his chest. Even if receiving presents and a cake and the same phrase every year feels less and less special, isn't it still nice to spend that day of the year with someone special? Wisely, he kept that thought to himself and continued down the path, clutching Gintoki's hand. Gintoki was unaware of these thoughts that circled in Hijikata's mind. He simply thought that the subject was dropped. And to him, that was for the best. 

... 

Present Day... 

... 

Gintoki had apparently slipped into a daze. The sounds of snapping fingers and irritated voices pulled him back from the void of daydreams. Blinking and rubbing his eyes, Gintoki got back into touch with the real world. He had forgotten the journey from the apartment to the café with Shinpachi and Kagura, he had forgotten that he had sat down and ordered pancakes, but the daydream-the memory-had sat with him for a while. Even when he faced the puzzled and slightly annoyed expressions of Shinpachi and Kagura, who sat on the opposite side of the table with their orders, the memory remained in his head although slightly faded, like a watermark on a painted picture. 

"Gin-san, you okay there? You've been spacing out since we left the apartment". Although seemingly irritated before, Shinpachi now conveyed concern. Kagura acted similarly, I guess you could say. 

"If it's about how old you've gotten, it's okay 'cause there are plenty of people that you know who are much older. Like Madao, and the gorilla and...". 

"Yamazaki-san...?" Shinpachi added with a shudder. 

"Yeah-...Wait, what? The anpan guy? Why him?" 

"He's thirty-two, apparently". 

"Eh? Ehhhh?!" Kagura was in as much shock as anyone who found out about Yamazaki's real age for the first time. Yamazaki certainly didn't appear to be a man in his early thirties, however he was drawn that way (oops). "That guy?! But...But he's like you, Shinpachi! He looks like a cherry boy!" 

"Do we both seriously give off that impression?!" 

"Duh. You're still a virgin. But knowing that guy's age, I'm not so sure. That means even Yamazaki is cooler than you, Shinpachi". 

"That pisses me off! How is Yamazaki cooler than I am?! He doesn't get as much screen-time! And! He was ranked ninth in popularity polls! (This year, 2016, he was ranked fourteenth. Poor Yamazaki...)". 

"Shinpachi, be careful there. This fanfic's set in 2015, so you have to be careful when breaking the fourth wall. Though, I guess putting in adaptations is okay". 

"You tell me off for breaking the fourth wall when you just obliterated it!" 

"Oi, will you brats relax?" Gintoki spoke as he normally did; more focused and straight-forward. "The show already has a reputaton for breaking the forth wall, so it's not really a big deal anymore. Even now, in fanfictions, the writers add elements of breaking the fourth wall. Take it easy, will ya?" 

"...Yeah, I suppose you're right, Gin-san. This fanfic in particular still tries to make it funny, but I don't think it's working out too well...". 

"O-kay!" Shutting out Shinpachi's mumbling against the author, Kagura clapped her hands together and wore a grin as she cried out and incidentally earned herself a few stares from around the restaurant. "Gin-chan, do you want your presents now?" 

"Huh? Don't tell me you both actually bought presents? Haah, every year I tell you the same: "there's no need for you to go outta your way like that". Besides, I don't know what else you could possible give me-". 

"Ta-daaa~!" 

Kagura volunteered to hand over the first present; wrapped haphazardly in patterned wrapping paper. It was the type of paper that you could find anywhere in "celebration-based" stores. However, Kagura really thought about this. She genuinally looked over her options of wrapping paper, rolled up in boxes with the design printed on the wall above. And in order to make a joke, she went with wrapping paper that emphasised Gintoki's upcoming years into fully fledgeded adulthood. "Happy Thirtieth!" 

"Oi, what's with this paper? You skipped a couple years. I'm not thirty yet...". 

"I know, but I couldn't find any for your twenty-eighth". It wasn't a joke! She legitimately couldn't find a more suitable wrapping paper! He felt old! Simply seeing "thirtieth" on wrapping paper made him realise how close he was to being a fully-fledged adult! Good-bye young adult Gin-san! "Come on! Open it!" 

Worried and unwilling, Gintoki hesitantly tore open the wrapping paper by the edges with his fingers sticking to the cluster of tape built up from mistake after mistake. Ripping the thin sheets down the middle revealed his present. Kagura watched enthusiastically, mainly excited to see Gintoki's reaction. And it was exactly as she expected. 

Gintoki stared for a while at his gift, speechless and utterly confused by the thinking process Kagura must have had when she picked it out. From the moment he laid eyes on the rather flat present before he unwrapped it, one could only assume it was clothing. But this... 

"Do you like it? It's a onesie". 

A onesie...That's what it was. White with a large, beige oval at its center, like a stomach, and fluffy cat ears sticking out of the head. Gintoki just stared. This was beyond comprehension. Vaguely, when Gintoki was Kagura's age, he could remember walking on the streets with Zura or Takasugi-way back when-and he would spot a young mother pushing a buggie, leaning over to tickle her baby's chin. And it was usually wearing...a onesie, with a butt-flap, and no hood or weird animal ears sticking out. That's how he remembered these things. Nowadays they were made for middle-aged men and brats at slumber parties. Beyond comprehension. 

"K-Kagura...Why a...onesie? I feel a little too old for something like this". Kagura crossed her arms and pouted. 

"You're never too old to wear a onesie". 

"That's funny, 'cause I'll feel old if I wear this...". 

"Winter's coming, and you get sick easily because you never wrap up when your working. I figured that you needed something to keep you warm". 

"Kagura-chan, you could have bought a sweater for Gin-san instead". 

"This is better! They're warm and soft...I got one for Soyo on her birthday and she loved it, so I see no reason why a big kid like Gin-chan can't love it as well". 

Gintoki was a big kid at heart, he admitted this himself. And although he would feel too old to wear something like this, especially with cat ears and a long tail sticking out of it, he appreciated the fact that Kagura knew he was susceptible to colds therefore she bought something that might prevent them. Better to look in the positive direction since the kid was being attentative. 

"Thanks, Kagura...". He muttered awkwardly, but gratefully. 

"You're welcome. Shinpachi, you next. Give Gin-chan your present".

"Ah, right. Here you are, Gin-san". 

A smaller, well-wrapped box was passed over the table. Tissue paper covered the gift in thick layers, but was easy to tear open, revealing a black box with a leather design. The edges around the box were made of silver-whether it was real or not was debatable. Gintoki was caught of guard, thinking that Shinpachi might have went out of his way to buy jewelry or something expensive that would inevitably make Kagura look bad. She stared daggers at him, already feeling the heat that said "my gift is gonna look like crap compared to yours, asshole. We had a spending limit! A limit!" And who would have guessed that their expectations were wrong once Gintoki opened the box. It clicked and the tiny hinges creaked. The object in question certainly had a shine to it, but was not jewelry. In no way could you consider a pair of thin-rimmed glasses jewelry. 

Again, Gintoki found himself staring at the gift. He wondered in what way did Shinpachi think of him when he bought these. Was he now at a stage where he didn't want to be the only glasses character, and that the protaganist had to join him? When seeing the gift herself, Kagura didn't feel so bad anymore and merely gave Shinpachi a look of apathy. 

"Do you like them, Gin-san?" And Shinpachi acted so casually. Was he in denial? 

"Shinpachi...". Kagura muttered, shaking her head. "Are you tryin' to drag all the main characters down with you?" 

"What's wrong with them?! I'm not giving them to Gin-san to "drag him down"! Don't discriminate against glasses-wearing characters, because we matter! Tomakazu Sugita voice acted a glasses character and he also voice acts for Gin-san! So there!" 

"Now your excuses involve breaking the forth wall? Shame on Pachie-boy. Shame on you". 

"It's a nice gift! And they were expensive!" 

"So you were tryin' to make me look bad, ya stupid four-eyes! Hahh?! At least my gift had thought put into it!" 

"I thought about mine too! Have you seen Ginpachi-sensei?! He looks good with glasses! Look: Gin-san, do you mind trying them on?" 

Both kids looked to Gintoki imposingly. As much as he made fun of Shinpachi's character for wearing glasses, it was true that Gintoki's alter-ego "Ginpachi-sensei" wore glasses. The only difference was that he looked cooler. Nothing against Shinpachi (because we all know he's a cinnamon roll), but let's be honest. If this was for fashion statement's sake, then perhaps it wouldn't be such a big deal to try on a pair of glasses. Since he didn't need them, the lense would be fake, but the frames were apparently quite expensive. Idiot. He didn't need to go so far.

Gintoki opened up the frames, staring at them-examining them-before sliding them onto his face. He pushed them up, but the frame rested just below his eyes onto the bridge of his nose. They were a perfect fit, and received amazed gazes from the two kids. Their jaws were agape. Total disbelief crossed their minds. 

"Woah...Gin-chan does look cooler than you, Shinpachi". 

"I can see that! You don't have to tell me! Glasses can be cool!" 

"Only 'cause he's the main character". 

"Oi, Shinpachi...". Gintoki took off the glasses, folded the frames to place them back into their box. "Thanks for the gift. I might just wear them while I'm writing, it'll feel more professional that way. And although it probably won't suit an old guy like me. I'll wear the onesie every once in a while, when it's cold". 

"...Gin-san...I'm glad. We're glad you like them". 

He did. Their efforts was something even Gintoki could appreciate. But no matter how many times he assured them to hold back and to stop making such a fuss, they still charged on and thought for a long time about what Gintoki might like for a birthday present. Then, as Gintoki shut the glasses case, Shinpachi and Kagura slid out from the booth and stood by Gintoki's side. 

"Time for your real present". Kagura said, grinning. 

"Ah? Wha-....Real Prese-...N-no, come on. You brats have done enough, don't ya think? There's only so much I can carry home, y'know". 

"Doesn't matter if you don't want us to do this, 'cause we already got tickets". 

"Tickets? To...what?" 

"Get up and you'll find out. C'mon, Gin-chan, get your lazy ass up". 

Just like the surprise from this morning, Gintoki was dragged by the arms and pulled to his feet by both Kagura and Shinpachi. They grabbed his gifts, including the torn up paper that came with them and stored both away into a plastic bag brought for this exact occassion. They had really planned this, didn't they? Once again, Gintoki was dragged out but this would be to a whole other place, somewhere that required tickets to enter. The obvious question that sat with him was "where the hell are these kids planning to drag me to next?" Did they plan out a whole day? It wouldn't be the biggest surprise, right next to a surprise birthday party waiting at home with a few odd, familiar faces and a whole cake sitting on the kitchen table. No way. How many times could that happen every single birthday; to the point where surprise birthday parties are no longer a surprise. These days, mostly for underage teens, birthday parties were an excuse to drink alcohol behind their parent's backs. Gintoki almost didn't want to imagine everyone gathering around just to celebrate something like this again, for as long as he's known every one of these people. But what was there to expect this year? He had no fuckin' idea what these kids, or anyone else, would have up their sleeves. 

... 

Even now, the crime scene was shrouded in darkness. Since the body had already been taken away for autopsy, only a pool of blood and an outline of the corpse had been left behind. Hijikata walked out of the bar, once he had asked the appropriate questions and had gotten what he wanted. Finally, quicker than expected, they had a lead to go on and a few suspects to find. Lighting up a cigarette, Hijikata stood before the chosen squad and brought them to attention. 

"Alright, men. We've finally got a lead, a small group of men believed to be involved. Right now, we only have one name, but with more questioning we should be able to find him and track down the rest". 

"That's our Vice-chief for you". 

"I'll set up a team on patrol, and...Yamazaki". 

"Uh, yes sir?" 

"Can I trust you to do some investigating on this guy?" 

Hijikata handed over a small, open notepad with some detailed information about a man-supposedly a regular at the bar-known as Kyou Minami: aged twenty-two, a regular who often left bills on his tab, hung out with two other guys, and was unemployed as far as the bartender knew. According to the autopsy received that morning, the victim was killed at around ten o'clock in the evening, around the time when Minami left through the back door with his buddies. No one else got up from their seats around that time. Yamazaki skimmed over the info with a nod and a salute. 

"Yes, Vice-chief! Count on me!" 

"Good. Now get to it. If we do this right, the investigation should be over by tomorrow night. Sougo...Hm? Sou-...Sougo!" 

Okita had only just appeared, walking towards the parked patrol car outside of the alleyway with a box from a local donut place down the street. Hijikata clenched his teeth around his cigarette, unconsciously rolling it around the corner of his mouth. He was pissed, enough said. 

"Hm? Oh, hey, Hijikata-san. Don't mind me, I'm just observing". 

"Observing what?! You left to-...You bought donuts during an investigation!" 

"Geez, chill out. And don't get the wrong idea. These aren't for me; they're for Danna". 

That sparked with Hijikata, and the anger he felt prior to those words vanished into thin air, like the smoke from his cigarette. Okita looked up from the brightly coloured box, smirking as the expression Hijikata made was quite amusing. 

"Oh? Didn't you know that it was his birthday today? What a terrible boyfriend you are". 

"O-oi, will you shut it? He's not my-...Haah, yeah, I already know it's his birthday. Now will you shut your trap?" 

"Oh my. So you do know. Then why aren't you spending time with him?" This brat was enjoying this too much... 

"Because I'm here, working, unlike you". 

"It's gotta be more than that, right? C'mon~, you can tell me. I'm sworn to secrecy by Kondo-san's word, so you know I can keep quiet about it". 

Retracting the cigarette from his lips, Hijikata sighed with the puff of smoke going with it. With Okita, he leaned against the hood of the patrol car and made a conscious decision to actually speak to Okita about this. 

"I told him about the job...". He began, tossing the cigarette beneath his foot to crush away the remnants. "And he made it clear that he didn't want his birthday to interfere with that. I did argue, but the reality is there wasn't much I could do about this. It's work, so...". 

"So you wanted to see him? I'm surprised you didn't put up more of a fight". 

"Why'd you say that?" 

"It's in your nature, y'know. Whether you argue out loud, or you keep quiet so you don't lose face, you'll make an effort to go outta your way for the people who...I guess the more important people in your life. It's funny how they call you Demonic, when the reality is you get really attached and involved with the people closest to you. But even then, you think about what's best for them, and what they want even if that means you have to step aside and do nothing". 

"What's with that? You learn about that in psychology class?" 

"Don't be stupid. I've seen the way you act plenty of times to understand. For instance, how you got me into this apprenticeship so I could work with Kondo-san". 

"Even if you still hate me?" 

"Hate is a strong word, but you're totally right". 

Knowing how Gintoki usually thinks, Hijikata did want to step aside if Gintoki was so insistent that they couldn't see eachother on his birthday. He didn't want to start another petty fight, and he knew Gintoki didn't want that either. He didn't want Gintoki to feel selfish for pulling him out of work. It seemed so stupid now. But what would Gintoki's reaction be if Hijikata turned up out of the blue today? Hijikata wouldn't turn up out of the blue. That sounded like a dumb idea. Perhaps a phone call would be better suited to the situation. 

"Look, Hijikata, if ya wanna see him, then go see him. The boys in blue can handle a case without you breathing down their necks". 

"Yes, I get that. It would be different if this was one murder-and we're looking at seriel killings. And we're potentially looking at a small group, or maybe a gang". 

"Come on, Hijikata. You're better than that. You've read the autopsy reports; every guy killed so far was murdered with the same weapon, similar fingerprints had been found at the crime scene-like on the victim's wallet. Gang's aren't as stupid as these guys, and as I recall gangs usually leave a mark so they can get publicity on the news. Right now, we can see it's just a buncha thugs". 

At least two things were clear with Okita's deduction: The criminals behind this weren't very bright, but were dangerous. And Okita was sharp and perseptive...And also dangerous. More than the moronic pieces of shit behind the seriel killings. 

"Quit makin' excuses and just meet Danna already. Whatever he said, it probably doesn't matter. You two are so lovey-dovey that it makes me wanna vomit, and I have a strong gut for most things. Call him, meet him, whatever. Don't make things difficult for yourself just 'cause of a job". 

"Sougo...". 

Those were the most mature words to ever leave this kid's mouth. Hijikata could see it: a sliver of maturity shining in those eyes...He really did look like his sister. Maybe one day he would grow up to be just as mature as she was...He thought, for a moment. Then in the middle of Hijikata moment, when he had witnessed some good in this kid, he immediatly took it back as Okita pulled out a full bottle of hot sauce from his jacket pocket. Popping open the cap, his appearance casual and lacking remorse, he tipped the sauce over the donuts he had bought for Gintoki's birthday present. The liquid was a deep crimson red, soaking into the pastries. This kid was not good. He was not good at all. A sadist...He was a sadist, always. Any mature things he said was a mask to hide the evil within. This brat was trouble, and Hijikata knew that. Of course, he still accepted the advice to call Gintoki sometime during the day, but anything else was bull'. Never again would he fall for this kids words, otherwise he would end up dead or worse. Time to back away and...warn Gintoki about his "present". 

...

The ideal present that was planned by Shinpachi and Kagura brought Gintoki to the observatory in town. Apparently the first show of the stars would be presented at two o'clock that afternoon, which required tickets to enter. That was one mystery solved. Seemed like the kids were more excited than Gintoki was to see the stars. It brought back memories from when he would take them out into the cold of January because they begged him to go watch the meteor shower. Good times. Watching them show interest in the constellations and astrology wasn't anything new, and it was interesting in itself to see them so hyped like it was Christmas. No, as if it was their birthday and not Gintoki's. But their focus on this day and what it was all about didn't change for a second. 

"Gin-chan, do you like your present?" 

"I do...Just I didn't expect it...". 

"Ain't that the whole point, aru? It's a surprise, so...Surprise, Gin-chan". Kagura picked at her nose, flicking whatever she scraped out into the corner of the room, effectively attaching her boogers to a poor woman's sweater. There lay no remorse in Kagura's apathatic eyes. 

"Looks like we're seated at the back". Shinpachi reassured himself, and the other two, about where exactly they would be sitting in the stage, adjusting his glasses to focus on the ticket numbers. "Z11 to Z13, it looks like". 

"Let's get inside then. Move your ass, Pachie-boy. You, too, Gin-chan. Move it". 

"Alright, alright already. I'm coming".

The enthusiasm was practically running ahead of Shinpachi and Kagura when leading the way to the stage area. With employees checking tickets with fixed, rehearsed and overly polite smiles when greeting and thanking the guests of their patronage. Compared to the lobby and the hallways leading to different rooms and viewing areas, the room they entered was almost pitch black. Glowing blue lights, like flames, were built into the floor to illuminate the stairs going all the way down to the foot of the staging area. Thanks to their assigned seats, there was no risk tripping and falling over other people. 

Crushing the ticket in his fist, Gintoki stuffed it into his coat pocket while inching further and further into the booth, towards seat Z11. It was engraved on a small metal plate, screwed onto the armrest. He sat, and the two brats joined him: excited for the show. It was similar to Gintoki's first experience of sitting in a cinema's theatre; the excitement of sitting in a dark room before a large screen, waiting to watch a movie that would boom in your ears. Similar, but not quite the same. The screen they were about to watch was like a dome across the cieling. Soon the blue flames covering the floor would turn pitch black, and the performance of the stars would begin. 

The room dimmed, and a chill covered Gintoki's skin from eagerness, oddly enough. Sitting back, he looked up at the cieling-the sky-and watched. It was silent, and then...The stars lit up, turning slowly above the audience. There was whispering, hushed shireks of excitement before the silence came again. And they all watched: amazed by the beauty of the stars shining above on the big dome that was the screen. The atmosphere was something to take in with no fear of sitting back and relaxing, even when the intercom echoed and the woman's voice went over the different constellations in sight. And there were more than anyone in that room could realise. Who knew there were so many stars? No one knows exactly. Gintoki once wondered the exact same thing, but in an intoxicated state of mind. He was with someone that night. About a year ago today. Staring off into the literal area of space, Gintoki looked back on it. The daze, the unfocused attention on the skies above, managed to pull him back into those memories like a vision. He could see it. Clearly, there sat the serving of sake and Pop's behind the counter. Then he came in...A whole year before... 

... 

Exactly One Year Ago... 

... 

"Gin-san, don't overdo it. That's some heavy sake you're drinking". 

"Don't worry 'bout it, Pop's. Besides, it's my birthday. Might as well spoil myself a little since I've got the money to do it".

The delicate sake cup between Gintoki's fingers reeked of the stuff, and three flasks were just about empty. He arrived at the usual place for some good booze and some sollitude. Peace and quiet from the party before this. But he had to admit that the day had been fun. Turning twenty-seven didn't seem so bad anymore, especially with sake running in his system by the end of the evening. He chose to sit alone. This wasn't new to him. Sitting by himself, drinking, was the norm' for him in those days. Every now and then he might invite Hasegawa or Zenzou, but Gintoki mostly found the time for himself. 

"How was it this year?" Pop's asked, clearing the empty flasks from the bar counter. "Did those two kids of yours have a surprise party waiting for you?" 

"It wasn't really a surprise, seeing them go to the effort, but it was still fun. They invited almost everyone I knew". 

"I see. You're really lucky, y'know?" 

"I know, Pop's. I know...". 

Pop's smiled a wrinkled smile, but then quickly realised something. Waving a finger in the air, he reached behind to counter and pulled something out from its storage. 

"That reminds me, the Missus told me to save something for you today, seeing as it is your birthday and all". What Pop's had pulled out from behind the counter was placed in a small, foil tin with plastic wrapping around it: a shortcake of some kind. "She made it specially for you this morning, so it's a good thing you stopped by again this year. So, happy birthday, Gin-san". 

Gintoki was astonished, but smiled and managed a brief laugh. 

"Wow, Pop's...I didn't expect that. It looks pretty damn delicious". 

"My wife has the best baking. No doubt about it". 

"Tell her thanks for me, will ya?" 

"Of course I will". 

This was the first gift Gintoki had ever received from this place. He didn't expect something so heart-felt like a caramel shortcake, chilled from being stored in the fridge up until now when Pop's slid the treat behind the counter. What a great pair. In the moment of Gintoki's gratitude and admiration for the display of caramel on the shortcake, behind creased plastic, another customer arrived through the door and was swiftly greeted by Pop's. 

"Ah, welcome. Oh, Hijikata-san, it's you. Haven't seen you around here in a while". 

"Yeah, well, work keeps me busy. It's good to be back". 

When the door was shut and eachother's presence became clear, their eyes met-although Gintoki's gaze lacked focus and was less intimidating with his cheeks stained such an intoxicated shade of red. Hijikata could practically smell the booze and sweat from the doorway. At that time, seeing Gintoki's stupid face was enough to make his blood boil under the burner of annoyance and the impatience he had for this man. Pop's could sense the tension, and made an effort to step in this time around. 

"Now, now, you two. No fighting. Today isn't the right time, since it's Gin-san's birthday today". 

Gintoki smirked, feeling that he had already won the battle with the birthday card at hand. 

"Yeah, Hijikata-kun~. It's my birthday today, so you've gotta be extra, extra nice to me~. Hic!" 

Pissed him off...This guy really pissed Hijikata off. 

"And, Gin-san, don't think your birthday gives you a free pass to say whatever you want. Play fair, you two". 

Gintoki clicked his tongue but brushed it off with another sip of his drink. Rolling his eyes, Hijikata sat down at the bar, asking for the usual serving of sake. The old man said "coming right up", and left the two rivals in peace. They couldn't say anything. It was supposed to be special day, after all. 

"Well...?" But in such a state of mind, Gintoki couldn't possibly keep his mouth shut. So he imposed on Hijikata. "Aren't ya gonna say happy birthday to me?" 

"Why should I have to do something like that?" 

"Cause it's my birthday? Can't you be nice to me just once?" 

"...". Hijikata silently resisted. Mainly, he didn't want to appear weak in front of the biggest pain in his ass. There was also the fact that being nice to this guy would only give Gintoki an excuse to tease Hijikata about it later with that stupid smirk on his face. So he said nothing and simply ignored the pain sitting next to him: the one with hiccups and stinking breath. 

"Tch, stingy...". Gintoki clicked his tongue and turned away when it seemed very clear that he wouldn't get his way with Hijikata. The guy was too stubborn for his own good. No wonder the lucky, good-looking bastard was single ( at that time). 

Pop's served Hijikata's drink, receiving a thanks. 

"Are you finished with work, Hijikata-san?" 

"I am. Thought I would come in for a drink before heading home". 

"Oh, yes. You still live in that apartment with, uh...Okita-kun, is it?" 

"Yeah, but I'm planning to move come next February or March, since he's eighteen now and he can look after himself". 

"Any idea where you'll move?" 

"Hah...Well...No clue yet, but I'll find a place". 

So the Mayora was moving out of the smaller apartment to somewhere new; away from cramped spaces and from the sadist brat. As Gintoki could recall, Okita turned eighteen in July. Hijikata must have been preparing him for the day when they would both happily part ways and live on their own. Gintoki didn't think about it in much detail as the subject honestly did not concern him. To emphasise how much attention he paid, his pinky finger snuck up his nostril and picked. He didn't care who saw, and he didn't care to hear any more stories from the Mayora. 

"Hijikata-san, would you like another drink after you've finished?" 

"Nah. No thanks, Pop's. I wanna keep a clear head since I have work tomorrow". 

"I'll have another one, Pop's". Gintoki raised his hand eagerly, like a child volunteering to push the grocery cart for his mother since his sister refused to do it. 

"Are you sure, Gin-san?" 

"One more couldn' hurt. I'll head home afterwards and sleep it off". 

"Okay...Coming right up". 

With their one last, or only, serving of sake, the two men kept to themselves. They didn't even look at eachother if they wanted to be civil for one night-and one night only. Because they knew things would return back to normal once they were both fully aware that they were fighting and making a scene in the middle of the street. Since it was Gintoki's birthday, they kept quiet and said not a word to the other in case an argument would begin out of nowhere. 

After one drink, the two left the bar with their bills paid roughly the same time in the space of a few seconds before they both went for the door. Pop's said his goodbyes, telling Gintoki specifically to be careful on his way home. Standing outside the sliding the door, the lights still glowing a mellow yellow inside with the noise stirring around their ears, Hijikata lit up a cigarette. When able to relax, the nicotine pouring into his lungs like a dark, satisfying mist of insence, Hijikata watched Gintoki sway and wobble on ahead. Was he even going to make it home in his condition? 

"Oi, are you gonna be okay walking home?" Hijikata asked without reluctance or hesitation to do so. This wasn't a personal matter: Hijikata was still a cop. Even if it was the drunken idiot with the natural perm, he was inclined to help. 

In response to Hijikata, Gintoki threw up his hand and gave a half-assed wave without saying anything. He wasn't okay. If he was trying to convey that, it wasn't working. Hijikata approuched him without much of a choice. 

"Oi...!"

When reaching out to Gintoki, Hijikata's hand was slapped away sharply. Gintoki, once he had turned and relaxed himself, stared at Hijikata with an unnamed expression. It was both callous and puzzled; he was uncertain in his tipsy state of mind as to why Hijikata was suddenly acting oh-so concerned. He didn't understand that it was basically Hijikata's job to be concerned about a drunk idiot trying to waddle home. Gintoki scratched the back of his head, still staring with a furrowed brow. 

"The hell is with that? You don't say "happy birthday" but you try to walk me home? I really don't get you, ya Mayo-addicted bastard". 

"Saying "happy birthday" and walking a drunk like you home safely are two totally different things. If I let you go alone, it'll be on my conscience if you get hit by a car or stumble into a ditch, you idiot". 

"I'm not drunk! I'm jus' a little bit tipsy. Can't a guy have a few drinks on his b-day? God...". 

"Didn't you go a little over "a few", though?" Cigarette between his fingers, Hijikata scoured the area around them. His eyes came to a brightly glowing glass screen of a vending machine, or two, plus a bench situated next to them. "Here, you should sit down and sober up a little if you won't let me take you home. I'll even buy a bottle of water for you". 

Hijikata dragged Gintoki by the arm towards the rest stop, and the earlier response from mere moments ago, when Hijikata tried to grab Gintoki and get his attention, was totally forgotten and brushed off with drunken giggles and slurred words of gratitude. 

"Awh, see? You're being nice today...Thanks, Buddy". 

"I'm not your buddy, now sit your ass down". 

Hijikata was quick to sit Gintoki down on his rear, straight onto the bench while he shifted through his pants pockets for some loose change. He tended to the vending machine, listening to the clunking noise that was the water bottle before bending down and pulling it out from behind the lid. Standing before Gintoki, Hijikata passed over the bottle, and a quick thanks was uttered from Gintoki's lips. Hijikata, too, chose to sit down and take a rest until Gintoki sobered up. He had to be sure Gintoki would be okay to go home. He could also call a cab for him. That was an option... 

"Hey, check it out...". When in thought, Hijikata was distracted by Gintoki. His words weren't as slurred, and he seemed more level-headed. He was looking to the sky, leaning back against the bench with a crooked smile across his lips. Hijikata followed his gaze to the starless sky, only to see a single, brightly shining star lighting up the abyss from above. Just one. "How often do you see that? In a place like this, polluted with so much artificial light, you never expect to see even one star up there. But there it is". 

"Yeah, I...I guess". 

"How many do you think are really up there?" 

"Too many to count. Quite a thing to see on your birthday, though: a single star in a brightly lit city like Tokyo. Although, I heard someone once witnessed a solar eclipse on their birthday". 

"...". 

The lack of response was unsettling. Even when his eyes remained directed at the single star in the sky, Hijikata could sense a damper in Gintoki's mood. Thus, he lowered his head and looked to see if Gintoki was being quiet for the moment, or... But Hijikata's hunch was correct. Gintoki had lowered his head, staring down at his knees, holding his lips back. He sighed, sitting up straight when, at the corner of his eye, he could see Hijikata staring right at him. They didn't meet eyes, however. The feeling would be too disquieting and awkward for them both. 

"I didn't really expect it, y'know...". Gintoki muttered, rubbing the cold from his hands. He swallowed, continuing. "I didn't expect you to say "happy birthday" or anything. Why would you? It doesn't bother me...". 

"...I...see. But, how come you're bringing this up?" 

Gintoki did smile, if faintly. This smile was unreadable...He was unreadable. No matter how many times Hijikata saw that face, frustrated by it, he still couldn't read what this guy was thinking. The idea that they thought alike, but couldn't understand eachother was like standing on either side of the same wall: although they could see the same thing, and knew that the other person was on the other side, there was a barrier blocking the path, preventing them from seeing eachother just to get pissed off as per usual. But this felt different. The barrier was there, but there was a silence between them that raised some level of concern on Hijikata's part. Why the sudden expression? What are you thinking about? 

"Hijikata...". After a pause, Gintoki made a semi-conscious decision to spill the beans that let Hijikata, of all people, know what was on his mind. "I wouldn't...normally spill my guts out to people, especially to the guys who tend to piss me off the most. But...I'm a little drunk and stupid right now so...fuck it. It...may be unbelievable, but...". 

"...?" 

There was a very unsettling pause. With a very faint smile, eyes to the sky and the single star that shone above, Gintoki created a crack in the barrier. 

"I...I don't think this is the day I was born...Hijikata". 

".....". 

Those words...Those very words...Hijikata had actually heard them, but...Those words were unbelievable. With such a faint and accepting smile, Gintoki said those words so sincerely. They were so sincere and well-prepared that the tone was almost stone-cold. In Gintoki's eyes, saying something like that must have been similar to discussing the weather...No. That wasn't it. He didn't admit something like that in such a casual and cold fashion because he wanted to. He had to. He had to avoid appearing weak or fragile in front of Hijikata (That's why he was smiling a little). He had to accept the way his life was out loud without hiccuping or shedding a single tear (That's why the words passed by so easily). And it was sad to see. 

"...Even if you are a little drunk, and...stupid, there was no need for you to tell me that". 

"Hm...I guess not. Maybe I jus' feel like opening up to someone who doesn't have the audacity to wish me happy birthday. You're the only person who hasn't made a huge effort to make me happy today. I'm grateful, and I actually had fun with Shinpachi and Kagura, but...It's not something I'm used to. I never really had a first birthday until I was nearly an adult, so it feels weird to have a special day of the year every year now. Feels like I don't really deserve it if I don't know my real date of birth. The years just go by and I get older. So why make a fuss? Why show up just to say "happy birthday", huh?" 

"...". 

Hijikata took the question as being rhetorical, thus he said nothing in response as Gintoki stared off into the blank space of the sky, dazed and gradually sobering up. He stood up then, carrying the half-empty bottle of water in hand. 

"Oi, are you seriously going to walk off in your condition?" 

"I'll be fine, Mr Policeman. The water helped anyways, so thanks...See ya around". 

"...". 

Hijikata also stood, dropping his cigarette onto the concrete below, crushing it under his shoe. Even he, the Demonic Vice-Chief, couldn't watch Gintoki sway his was home at the risk of stumbling and falling, effectively cracking his skull on the curb or getting hit by a car. So he swiftly caught up to Gintoki. With some past experience of handling a drunk friend or subordinate walking home from the bar, Hijikata was quick and didn't hesitate to make his move: raising Gintoki's arm, moving under its arch, standing and allowing Gintoki to lean on him without a word spoken to eachother. Although he didn't speak, Hijikata was intending to at least take this guy to a cab. 

At the time, holding Gintoki as close as this, enduring the stench of booze and sweat, this was nothing more than a helping hand to the biggest pain in Hijikata's neck. Those were the days before their relationship, when the fighting and the disagreements were more frequent than they were now. That night was one of the rare occassions when they didn't fight. A civil conversation; a conversation Gintoki thought he would never have with Hijikata, and vise versa. What's more, Gintoki never thought he would remember it. But the moment when Hijikata first made any physical contact with Gintoki, that didn't involve a brawl, highlighted the memory somehow. It stood out in Gintoki's mind as one of the more close moments that may, or may not, have said "I don't actually hate you". It couldn't be said that this was the beginning of their more intimate relationship, fighting and arguments flowing throughout the rest of the year and afterwards. But Gintoki, in the present day, liked to think there was a spark; the chance of a friendship instead of a rivalry. But during that time in the past, the moment they shared was almost completely forgotten...Until now. 

... 

Present Day... 

... 

Waking up in a dark room wasn't very refreshing. In fact, what made Gintoki feel more weary was waking up from a daydream about the past-something anyone would have forgotten by now-to a dark room where noise stirred as people got up from their seats. The intercom echoed: saying thank you to the visitors for coming and that they hoped to see them again. Gintoki got up, too, with Shinpachi and Kagura. The whole time he watched the show, but his mind was elsewhere. He blocked out all other sounds to listen to the voices in his past as the images played out vaguely in his mind's eye. 

Kagura and Shinpachi walked side-by-side, discussing the show that Gintoki partially missed out on due to the hazy memories in his head, floating around like an array of colourful balloons being sold before a circus performance; the kids want their parents to buy a balloon more than they want to watch dogs jump through hoops. But that wasn't the case. From the moment when Gintoki's eyes focused on the stars, but his thoughts were drifting elsewhere, he remembered asking if he deserved the effort that the kids put it. In his eyes, he wasn't sure himself if he could say he did or he didn't. But he still owed a thanks to the two brats who organised this and planned it out. 

When they walked through the crowd and out the main exit, Shinpachi's cellphone beeped and rang in his pant's pocket. The expression he made gave Gintoki the notion that it was a sudden and unexpected call, but from whom? 

"Ah, hello? Yes..." He answered, nodding along with the conversation. "Y-yeah, I understand, but-...O-otose-san...". The old hag? "O-o-...Okay. Haah, okay, I'll send him over now". Shinpachi wore an expression of disappointment after his I-have-no-reason-to-argue sigh. Why this was the case...Well, the answer came quickly. "Gin-san, I'm sorry. That was Otose-san, and she wants you to come into the office for work. Right now". 

"What...?!" Kagura clearly disapproved, and was more liable to argue back. "But Shinpachi, we planned a whole day for Gin-chan!" 

"Hey, you guys, that's enough". But Gintoki remained reasonable, with no reason to argue against the old hag either. "I'll tell the old hag that I can work later. If it's a couple jobs around the office, then I'll get them done and we can spend the rest of the day together, alright?" 

"Are you sure, Gin-chan? It's your birthday today, so...". 

"Yeah, I know. But understand that we've still got plenty of time to do whatever you planned. I'm gonna drop off at the apartment and collect my work bag, so you two can wait for me there. Deal?" 

With only a few seconds pause, the two nodded with the disappointment spreading across their faces-but in a way to almost guilt-trip Gintoki into giving up and telling Granny straight that the kids gave him the ol' puppy dog eyes (that didn't seem to suit Shinpachi at all, as the glasses magnified the fake tears). Instead of giving into the disappointed expressions, he smiled, rubbed their heads and told them to wait patiently for him to come back. And so the birthday surprises were on hold. Walking back towards the apartment complex, a couple miles from town, Shinpachi and Kagura hung back, an inch or two behind Gintoki. They very lightly clenched one fist each, patting them by the knuckles in a subtle fist-bump. But they held back their smirks and their secrets behind bitten bottom lips, relieved to think that Gintoki wasn't as sharp as he used to be when he was twenty-seven. 

... 

Gintoki did have his suspicions. It took him a few more seconds than necessary to open his apartment door and peer inside, wondering if those kids had left something to jump out and scare the shit out of him with a surprise party. There was none. That was last year. This year was different, the brats had more ideas. The onesie and pair of glasses was a big fuckin' surprise for a man of twenty-eight years old who has twenty/twenty vision (with the new extension to spot-not just panties under a mini-skirt but-the perfect, perky curves of Hijikata's ass from his sofa to his kitchen. Such a power couldn't have a better use in the twenty/twenty eyes of Gin-san). What else could jump out and scare the shit out of- 

"Gin-saaaan!"

"Khuh...!" 

When walking down the steet, alone and vulnerable, Gintoki didn't register the psycho woman running towards him with her arms out-stretched. He was staring into space for christ sakes. The impact of his negligence was like that of a corkscrew attack driving into his torso, and the weight of two dumbbells on ropes relying on his shoulders. In other words, it was a very forceful hug: unrequited and unnecessary. Gintoki struggled to get each breath out until the crazy girl-whom he quickly found to be Sarutobi-relaxed around him. 

"Oh my god! Happy Birthday, Gin-san~! I was hoping to come see you today!" 

"Agh! O-oi, you crazy woman! Could you not cling to me?!-It's disturbing!" 

"Ah! Are hugs not okay? I mean, I thought they were totally platonic, and I considered hugging you on your birthday, but reconsidered since you have someone to hug already-but seeing you walk down the street with that careless, steel look in your eyes I couldn't resiiiiiisst!" 

Sarutobi only squeezed Gintoki tighter: platonically. Not knowing how to shove her off politely, he put his hands on her waist, ready to shove. By then, she had made a bold move to sniff his hair-platonically. 

"...You smell different...". She whined, pouting. 

"Why is that something to complain about?! Aren't we supposed to be friends?!" 

"I know, I know! And I know that I wouldn't want to damage your relationship with that man, Hijikata-kun, but I still want to show you as much love and affection as possible! Today's special, after all". 

Naturally Gintoki would roll his eyes and push Sarutobi back down to earth, but when her reasoning for showing "love and affection", as she called it, was because it was his birthday...Gintoki hesitated and didn't even try to put this psycho girl back onto the pavement. Seeing her legs lift off the ground, as if weightless, was distracting and made the chore of holding her weight even heavier. Even so, he was gentle about it. A gentle pat of her back and a "okay, that's enough" was an affirmative for Sarutobi to stand up on her own two feet without clinging to him. 

"Oh, so this is why you sprinted off, Sarutobi-san. I was wondering, since I thought I heard you call for Gin-san, but here you are". 

It was a little unexpected to see Otae join in on the conversation, narrowly missing out on the clingy and overly-affectionate display from Sarutobi. Otae carried a gift bag, and two small, tissue paper bags in her hands. 

"Gin-san, you should know that I would happily inform Hijikata-san of your shady activities outside of your relationship. If you did try anything...". 

"I'm not trying anything! She ran up to me, and hugged me outta nowhere! Don't just blame me!" 

"He's right, Tae-chan. I hugged him out of friendship! N-nothing more! I understand that Gin-san is happy with Hijikata-kun; I'm happy for them. And if they chose to live together, maybe get married...have children and grow old together...I would be totally fine with it! I would support them the whole way!" 

Like many other close friends who knew of the relationship Gintoki had with Hijikata, Sarutobi jumped ahead with ideas and assumptions of the future. And although her words were sincere, they also appeared to be painful for her as tears stood at the corners of her eyes, behind her glasses. 

"Sarutobi-san, I doubt Gin-san and Hijikata-san would think about such things". So Otae could be reasonable sometimes- "Especially before me. Who said those two fruits could get married and have babies before me?" 

Gintoki didn't understand this woman at all! There was no reason for her to be so envious over two guys being in a relationship before she got into one of her own! Otae giggled, seeing Gintoki's flabbergasted expression stick to his face like a disaster with glue and project paper. 

"Gin-san, I'm kidding around. Of course I'l get married before you do". Gintoki wasn't going to deny that, you know. "Oh, well, it's a good thing we bumped into you; Sarutobi and I were just on our way to drop off your birthday presents. Here you are. Happy birthday, Gin-san". 

"Ah, yes. Happy Birthday, Gin-san...". As if to make sure, Sarutobi said the same phrase again with a proper smile. 

The gift bag was from Sarutobi, and the small, tissue-paper-wrapped gifts were from Otae and Kyubei. It was unexpected of Kyubei to even go to the trouble of offering a birthday present, but Gintoki still requested that Otae say thanks in his place. 

"I wouldn't open the small bags here". Otae advised, waving her hand in the air just as Gintoki had pinched the ribbon, tying one bag together, between his fingers. "It's candy. Kyubei took me to this old-fashioned-looking candy shop in town, because we both knew how much you love sweets. I did say I could cook something for you, something straight from the heart, but Shin-chan insisted that I go out shopping for something instead. Do you like them, even if it's not my tamagoyaki special?" She meant black matter in a bento... 

"Uh, yeah. Thanks. I'll eat 'em later". 

"My turn! Open mine, Gin-san-or not yet...Whatever you want...Think of it as a little present for your relationship, because...I'm happy for you both, and I want what's best for you".

How would something like that work? How would those words fit into the gift bag she brought for this particular present, that was meant for the relationship? He didn't want it to be true, but his senses as a sadist were going off at the back of his head like a warning. Holding the threaded handles of the giftbag, Gintoki parted them and, for a moment, stared into the shrouded bag. There appeared to be more than one gift in there. He reached in and pulled out the first item on instinct. What he pulled from the bag was... 

"Do you like them? I picked them out myself". ...Fur-lined handcuffs. Black fur-lined handcuffs. "I made sure that the chain was sturdy and that the fur-lining was nice and soft. Aren't they great?!" 

On one hand, Gintoki did like the present. It was the kind of thing he was into, and imagining a proud guy like Hijikata-a cop-being put in a pair of these was a huge turn-on. The super sadist Gin-san could fufil a few fantasies with these. However, on the other hand, this seemed like more of a present for Sarutobi than it was for the perfectly content (wouldn't go as far as to say "happy"), same-sex couple. Gintoki could imagine this woman visiting a sex shop in the red light district, going through the different pairs of handcuffs to make sure it had a firm grip and a strong chain. The images enduced shuddering across Gintoki's back in a tight and disturbing cringe. But, all the same... 

"Uh, thanks...I guess I'll put it to good use. But I doubt Hijikata is willing to try this stuff, and I wouldn't force him". 

"What? Really? W-well, that's fine. I mean, I, personally, would be totally willing. I wouldn't mind it if you handcuffed me and...had your way and...A-ahem! There's some more things in the bag. Just some scented candles and...lotion. Usual relationship stuff". 

"Uh...thanks. I'll use all of these pervy things and hope I won't get smacked up-side the head. But, seriously, thanks a lot..." 

"...?" One look at that smile and Sarutobi was sure he meant it. Her eyes glimmered and her cheeks turned pink. "Gin-san...". Seems some things are harder to hurdle than others. In this case, she couldn't totally get over her love and lust for Gintoki. "I-I'm glad. And I...I honestly wish the best for you both". But, at the same time, she could stand aside and accept things as they were. That's how strong-willed Sarutobi could be. 

"Enjoy your birthday, Gin-san. I'm sure Shin-chan and Kagura-chan want to make the best of it for you". Those were Otae's final words before she walked on ahead of Sarutobi. "Coming, Sarutobi-san?" 

"Yep. Bye, Gin-san. Uh...Again, happy birthday". 

"Thanks, you two. See ya around". 

Gintoki looked back at the two girls, walking off to...wherever. He had no clue where they intended to go now, since he received his presents from them. Gintoki knew some pretty eccentric people, huh? With a sigh and a smirk, he walked on towards the publishers building just a few more blocks away. Was there anythig else? If so, tell him now. 

... 

"Surprise!!!" 

"...!" 

No one warned him. No one warned Gintoki that yet another surprise waited for him before the elevator doors, as he had just arrived at the usual floor in a more relaxed state of mind. But as soon as the elevator doors pinged and shuddered open, creaking and squeaking, alarm bells went off as a barrage of close friends and acquaintances yelled "surprise" with party poppers at the ready. He had unconsciously stepped back in shock, back to the elevator doors. He took a moment, just a moment, to take in the smiles and the decoration that surrounded the floor. Everyone that set all of this up was a friend or acquaintence. We weren't gonna have any extras celebrate the birthday of someone they didn't know, especially since it was the birthday of an anonymous author. 

"Happy birthday, Gintoki-sama!" Tama called out standing in the corner with a video camera in hand. The red light was flashing...She was recording. She was really recording his I've-just-shit-myself reaction. He sighed, scratching the back of his head. 

"Haah, man, I shoulda guessed. Tell me: how long did you guys plan this out?" 

"Too long. You're welcome". Catherine answered in the same sarcastic tone with her fake accent, raising some laughter. 

"It was even troublesome for me, returning here after all this time". 

"...!" 

Unexpectedly, a new, but very familiar voice, entered the crowd. A parting was made in the group who gathered inside the office, and the missing guest walked through. Gintoki stood there, astonished and in total disbelief. He could feel his hands tremble. With his jaw agape, he tried to utter the right words with some difficulty, seeing that familiar smirk. 

"You...You're...!" 

"Good to see you too, kid". 

"Ah...Ah...J-...Jirochou?!" 

Jirochou Doromizu: a man whom Gintoki had sparred with in the past. Of course, some difficulties came between them with Otose being stuck in the middle of it all, and nearly dying because of it, but the guy ended up becoming a long-distance friend, I guess you could say. After the whole incident, he ended up leaving Tokyo with his daughter- 

"Bro!" Pirako Doromizu... 

This girl ended up being as problematic, but since then she had grown a bit of a soft spot for Gintoki, refering to him "as big bro". It had been a long time since he saw those eyes as dead as his and chipper attitude, despite her dark personality. She ran out from behind her father, darted towards Gintoki. She leaped up, expecting him to catch her in a hug when he had no other options but to let her fall on her rear. He would get stabbed. No, seriously, she would stab him and paint the floor a "pretty red flowers", as she used to say. Gintoki caught her, allowing Pirako to squeeze the life out of him. 

"Oof! O-okay, hey there...Pirako-chan. Been a while...". 

"I missed you, Bro! But Papa and I were invited to come back, since you're getting older an' all. So here we are!" 

There was no telling where they travelled and what kind of sights they saw. But it was clear their relationship was better than ever. 

"When we got the invitation from Otose, I was surprised but...". Jirochou shrugged, still smirking. "Pirako insisted that we return just for the occassion". 

"You were surprised?" Otose questioned him, lighting up a cigarette. "I was surprised you got in contact and decided to come. You sure it was just because the girl insisted?" 

"...". Jirochou didn't respond, merely keeping his eyes away from Otose's suspicious glaring. 

"Hey, Bro, Papa and I started growing flowers in our garden, so we brought some as a gift. Pretty red ones". 

"That so? Well, thanks a bunch, you two. I appreciate it". 

"Don't forget us, Paako~!" 

"Uwaaah!" 

Gintoki dropped Pirako to her feet, stumbling back for the elevator again when a herd of okama rushed from the back of the room, crowding around him like hungry vultures around a rotting corpse. Pirako simply stepped back, watching, amused by the terrified look on Gintoki's face. 

"Grannyyy! Why the okama?! Why did you invite them?!" 

Otose shrugged as if she knew nothing about it, as if pretending that they barged in on their own. But, you know what, the a used smirk on her face told a whole other story. 

"Who knows..." 

"What do you mean?! They're-eek!" 

"Paako~, did you lose weight? I'm so jealous~". 

"Your skin looks smoother, too! Is that from playing with your lover-boy?" 

"Oh, Paako~!" 

"Shut it, ya dirty old men! And stop groping me! It's disgusting!" 

Why was everyone watching this? Did they enjoy this? Was Gintoki going to be a toy for the okama of the Kabuki district forever?! 

"Settle down, ladies". Saigou, their leader, stepped in, slapping Gintoki on the back as a supposedly nice gesture. "Give the birthday boy some air. We can hand out presents later". 

"Eh...?" For some reason, that scared Gintoki. That really scared him. 

"That's right, Paako! We all contributed to make a few gorgeous dresses for you". 

"Ehh...?!" 

"Mama did most of the stitching. It's so well done that you can't even see it". 

"You'll love them!" 

"What gave you bastards that idea?! Since when do I like wearing dresses?! I'm a dude! All dude! Got it?!" 

What a party already... 

"Ahahaha! Kintoki, I didn't know you wore dresses! Is this the effect of puff-puff action with another dude, dude? Ahahaha!" 

"Shut up, Tatsuma! I'll fucking kill you!" 

"Gintoki, if you don't want the dresses then...". Katsura had this serious expression, crossing his arms. Where was he going with this? No way... "If you don't want them, then...Can I-...No...Can Zurako have them?!" 

"Whhyyyy?! Are you an idiot, Zura?!" 

"It's not Zura, it's Zurako! Such fine craftmenship should not go to waste! I will happily try out your dresses for you! But I can't promise that I'll give them back!" 

"You're as bad as the okama! Zura! What happened since we were kids?! When did you go from child prodigy to transgender?!" 

"Beauty doesn't need a label, Gintoki". 

"What beauty?! If you put on those dresses, you'll blind people! Seriously! First I'm dating a guy, then Zura becomes an okama! What next?! Takasugi turns gay too-...". 

Wait...Wait. Wait, wait, wait. Gintoki could vaguely remember...from that night...No...No. No way. Was that his imagination? A dream? He was drunk, so the memory was a bit fuzzy but...Takasugi with that Bansai guy? No way...No way. Not Takasugi...Not him too...Would that make Sakamoto the only totally straight guy left?! Whyyyy?! 

"Okay everyone!" Otose clapped her hands together, earning everyone's attention as Gintok remained the only person caught up in his own thoughts. ("Was Takasugi bottoming for that guy? Could a shorty like him even top?) "That's enough chatter. We can hand out presents later. For now, let's drink some afternoon booze from the snack house and celebrate Gintoki's birthday. Good plan? Alright". 

"Should I start serving cake, Otose-san?" 

"Please do, Tama". 

...

For a long time, maybe a couple minutes (Yes, that felt like a long time), Hijikata stared at his cellphone. It had been placed on his desk, tempting him to pick it up and call the damn perm-head. While the investigation was going on outside the station, Hijikata had a little time to think and go over the evidence they had received so far. He had come to the conclusion that a small group of clique had started the seriel killing spree, with a lot of evidence matching up. If that was the case, and if they caught these guys, the investigation could be over quickly. All it took was decisive evidence and a confession from the right men. 

With that acting as reassurance, Hijikata picked up the phone, hesitated for a second or two, and speed-dialed. He inhaled a long breath, releasing it to relax himself as the receiver hummed in his ear. He waited, questioning whether he really wanted Gintoki to pick up or not. Then...he did. Or so Hijikata thought when the humming fell silent. 

["Hello...?"] Hijikata was caught off-guard when hearing Kagura's voice, but she lived there too, so... 

"Hey, China Girl. It's me, Toushiro". 

["Hey, Mayora. If you're lookin' for Gin-chan, he's not around right now"]. 

"...? He isn't?" 

["Nope. He's at a surprise party in the publishing office, which I thought you would be invited to"]. 

"I, er...didn't get an invite. Listen, don't tell him I called, okay? Thanks anyway. See ya". 

["Woah, woah, woah! What do you mean "don't tell him I called"?! I thought you'd at least want me to pass on a message, ya stupid Mayora! Aren't you dating, you bastard?! Why aren't you with him right now?"] 

This girl sounded more pissed off than she needed to be. 

"L-look, I'm not there because-". 

["Because of work, right? Work, work, work. It's Gin-chan's birthday, you mayo-addicted homo! So shut up and go see him already!"] 

"It isn't that easy...". 

["Of course it is. It happens in movies all the time. Just drop everything and go wish him a happy birthday at the very least"]. 

"You watch too many movies, kid". 

["And you don't watch enough, aru. If you can't see him then...I'll send a text to you when he comes back and you can call him then, okay?"]. 

"...". It wasn't a bad idea. Of course, right now he felt awkward and embarrassed for calling just to say happy birthday, but...If there was a huge chance that they wouldn't be able to see eachother, then calling him and speaking at least once that day couldn't hurt. It couldn't hurt at all. "Haah, alright. When he comes back, send a text to me and I'll call". 

["That's the spirit, Mayora! He should be back in an hour or two, so keep your cellphone on at all times"]. 

"I will. Thanks, China Girl". 

["Your welcome. Oh, and Mayora..."]. 

"What...?" 

["...I think that you...should still try your best to see Gin-chan today. Your job can't lock you up in front of paperwork and criminals for the whole day, so don't be scared to see Gin-chan. It doesn't matter what he says; neither of you should feel bad about seeing eachother today because of work or because Gin-chan thinks you're doing too much"]. 

"...? Did he...say something to you?" 

["No. I just had a feeling that he doesn't want you to do anything for him. He's like that every year, but we know it makes him happy deep down"]. 

"I...see". 

["So get up off your ass and celebrate with him, dummy. See ya around"]. 

"Ah, wait, China Girl-...!" 

She hung up. Sounded like she was in a rush at the last minute. Hijikata didn't know that Shinpachi was with her in the same room, requesting that she should set the table at home. Hijikata hung up on his end, leaning back in his chair, staring into space. Gintoki was like that every year...huh? 

"Vice-Chief...!" Out of the blue, a subordinate approuched Hijikata's desk. He seemed eager to speak to Hijikata. Hopefully it was good news. 

"Yes, Harada?" 

"We caught a suspect". Good news indeed... 

"Huh? Seriously? H-how?!" 

"It was thanks to Yamazaki and a few other's in the investigation. We asked around the bars next to a few crime scenes, and we managed to snuff out an address. A few of us went on ahead and...I apologise. We went to investigate the apartment, and found a man coming out of the apartment where we would find our main suspect. When we questioned him, he ran and...the rest is history. I have to apologise again for running on ahead without orders, but-". 

"It's fine. We have a suspect on our hands. I want to begin an interogation to find out more. Oh, and we need Yamazaki to watch the apartment to make sure our main suspect doesn't make any sudden movements. If he catches on that one of his buddies has been arrested, he might just get away". 

"Yes sir!" 

Hijikata was fired-up, and the squad in charge of the investigation could see this. In a way, it was bizarre. For a case smaller than the norm', the Vice-Chief was eager to shut this case as soon as possible. And they wondered why. The curiosity was killing them, but no one dared to ask. They had a case to solve, after all. And when the Vice-Chief was fired-up, it was rightly so that the men and woman working under him would get the same motivation. 

... 

The fork in hand clincked and clanked against the surface of Gintoki's small plate as he rounded up crumbs and pieces of icing from his slide of cake. He munched, standing aside, watching others interact and enjoy the party on their own. He had received several presents that day, each one covering a single desk with their brightly coloured wrapping paper and ribbons like an every-colour quilt. Most of them were dresses from the okama, fufilling their weird fantasies of seeing Gintoki dress up like one of them with wigs or extensions to go with the dress. He had also received a few cards from everyone with thoughtful messages and birthday wishes that someone in adolescence might receive.

He watched over the guests, smiling to himself. That was when Otose approuched him, glass of champagne in hand. 

"So...?" She began, looking over the scene with her own eyes. "Having fun?" 

"Yeah, actually. You guys throw one hell of a party without strong booze or strippers". 

"Hmph. Is that what you call a party?" 

"When I was twenty, yeah. But this...This is pretty impressive. You even got Jirochou on board". 

"Well, it's been a while since you last saw him and...I kinda wanted to check up on things myself". 

"...He...nearly killed you, y'know?" 

"...I know. I still remember how angry you got for me. The memory's fuzzy, but I can still remember that look in your eyes, like a beast. You wanted to protect me". 

"I promised, didn't I?" 

Gintoki was a good kid. At times, that title wasn't fitting due to idleness or his stinking attitude. But in the end, he was a good kid. 

"Gintoki, you still probably think you don't deserve to have all of these people surprise you with a party and gifts, but the truth is that...you do".

"...". 

"The things you've done for them is more than most people do in a lifetime; it's good and a lot of the time its noble. Need an example? You helped Saigou's kid when he was being bullied by other kids, you basically brought Jirochou and his daughter together by knocking some sense into that old fool, you've stood by me on many occassions. Plus, there's all the things you've done for those two kids, for Tama, Catherine...The list goes on and on". 

"Hmph, I guess it does. There's not much I can add to that, Granny". 

"You don't have to. You may be lazy, have a bad attitude, forget to bring your manuscripts in on time. You even act coldy to avoid the worst possible scenario because you want the best for everyone you care about. But don't say you don't deserve a little celebration once every year". 

"...".

After everything Gintoki had done over the past few years...It was more good than he had done for the rest of his life. Things changed after he met Otose, and the amount of people who had come during this occassion had grown at a fast rate. Compared to the people he lost in his past, he had gained many more since he met that old hag. But to him, the things he had done didn't feel very noble. He wasn't intending to give off such an impression, at least. 

"Here, a present". Otose brought out a big, shining bottle of booze. "Make some egg-nog with it, okay? It's good stuff...". Taking the bottle, Gintoki sighed through a faint smile. 

"Thanks, Granny. I think I'll save it for when Christmas or New Year's comes around, a holiday for everyone, when we can all drink it together". 

"That's not a bad idea. But hold onto it for now, as a gift. Whatever's left of it by the end of New Year's, you can share it with Hijikata-san". 

"...I'll do that". 

Gintoki remembered his first birthday with Otose. Nothing big like this, but that felt special. Together they sat in the snack house bar, closed early for the night so they could drink and eat cake that Otose baked herself. Just the two of them. She would often share stories about her childhood and her marriage, and things of the like. He listened intently, and he remembered even now. She spoke of her husband many times. She had spoken of Jirochou fewer times, until now. What great birthdays...Every year since he met Otose, each birthday was a memory to cherish considering how many people took part and how they seemed happier than Gintoki. What a group of amazing idiots. Gintoki's kind of people. Never a dull moment in his life, never a moment when he held any hatred towards them. He appreciated them all equally. 

... 

From a secret room, from behind a one-sided, transparent wall, Kondo and Harada watched Hijikata interogate the suspect of the recent serial murders. He wasn't believed to be the spearhead of it all, as a man with any lack of confidence wasn't fit to be a leader. At times he would look down at the floor, only to force himself to stare back at Hijikata when the table was hit and when Hijikata raised his voice. They recorded the scene, and the audio from inside. Hijikata wasn't holding anything back. Demonic Vice-Chief indeed. 

"Wow...The Vice-Chief is really determined to get a confession, huh, Chief?" 

"I wouldn't expect anything less of Toshi. There never comes a day when he slacks off during work. I've even seen him go as far as to give up days off for work". Of course, Kondo meant that Hijikata used to work during days off. Ever since he started dating Gintoki, Hijikata took his days off to sopnd time with him. 

"Yeah. He's more dedicated to his job than his personal life, huh?"  

"That's the thing, Harada: Toshi's working so hard on this case because of his personal life". 

"Chief...?" Kondo had his arms crossed, unable to take his eyes from Hijikata's back. Watching him work so hard was becoming a bit of a concern. 

"There's something important that he can't miss out on today. But, as much as he can't miss it, his work always stands as an obstacle". 

"I suppose it would...Work often gets in the way of personal matters. That's why you don't see many people marry cops". 

"Toshi has always worked hard here at the Shinsengumi. But, have you noticed? Lately he's stuck his neck out more and more to get the job done, working harder than ever when it matters most. He gets so wrapped up in his work, that he constantly feels like he should carry the burden alone . He doesn't want feel like he's letting people down by "selfishly" focusing on his personal life instead of work. I swear, he doesn't give himself a break". 

"Chief...Why do you think the Vice-Chief has had a change of attitude as of recently? I mean, you said so yourself that he's been pushing himself even harder recently. Is it really something to do with his personal life?" 

"Well, I can't tell you the real reason behind it, Harada. But I myself have a feeling that...Toshi has found something he's willing to work hard for. He wishes to maintain a balance of work and his private life. No katter how much she shakes and struggles, he strives to keep both close". 

They watched. They watched as Hijikata relaxed, and gestured the security guard on hand to take the suspect away. Hijikata waited until the suspect was dragged off to his cell before entering the secret room, adjusting his tie.

"Vice-Chief...Did he confess?" 

"I confirmed the name, and the murders". 

"Eh...?" 

"I managed to string out a confession and his job as an accomplice, but I didn't get a location of their hide-out". 

"Hide-out?" 

"Apparently these bastards were doing more than serial murders. Their victims were paying depts in blood. Their little clique runs a small drug-dealing business in the red light district. It's been kept under the rug until now since they aren't very big business men. People who didn't pay up straight away for their fix were killed by reckless idiots trying to make some money for their unsuccessful business". 

"Holy shit...Then what do you suppose we do, Vice-Chief?" 

"We'll keep investigating, but we have to be a lot more cautious. I'll have Yamazaki report any movements from them, and when we find out where the rats are hiding, we trap every last one of them. I'm gonna go out myself and investigate the names I did get. The bastard was so focused on protecting his boss that he let a few names slip. If we find those guys, we'll eventually track down the leader". 

"I'll come too, Vice-Chief, in case things go side-ways". 

"Thanks. I'll be counting on you, Harada. Kondo-san, let's lock this bastard up until we see him in court tomorrow". 

"You took the words right outta my mouth, Toshi".

Both Hijikata and Harada left the room to continue their investigation swiftly. Kondo knew they would pull through with results. But...He couldn't stand to see Hijikata push himself to this point. He had been working so hard, sticking his neck out, taking on big jobs as if he owed it to the Shinsengumi, to Kondo. For all that he's done, wasn't it right for him to see Gintoki today? Surely Hijikata wanted to see Gintoki more than ever today, to be with him and spend some quality time together. That's whynit was so hard to watch him throw it away over work. 

... 

Already, it was six in the evening. Gintoki had left his party with only half of his presents stored in his work bag until he would be more prepared to take the rest home. This excluded the dresses from the okama, which were in Katsura's care. He walked out onto the street. The bag that once carried a few pens and pencils for work was now filled with all sorts of gifts like the bottle of booze from Granny, an edition of Mario Kart™ on the Wii™ from Katsura and that video camera that was apparently from old man Gengai and Tama. Barely taking two steps away from the main entrance, Gintoki was greeted once again, only this time by a hand patting his shoulder. Gintoki turned around, surprised to see Jirochou and Pirako standing behind him. They must have been in the lobby as Gintoki walked out of the elevator. 

"Gintoki...Just wanted to say that it was good seeing you again. I know we had our differences and...You really packed a punch, but I'd like to think we can be acquaintances". 

"Aah...No problem, old timer. You packed a helluva punch too, for an old guy". 

"Hmph...You're just like him, y'know. You're a good kid, but your tongue is sharp. I'm sure Otose sees her husband in you". 

"Bro, we're gonna be in Tokyo for a couple more days. How about we make some pretty red flowers together? Or you could take me to another cake place and teach me how to be more girly". 

"Are you kidding? You can't teach a girl to be girly. If you wanna be a tomboy, then stick with it. It suits you better. But, if you also want, I can still take you to that cake place when I have time". 

"Thanks, Bro!" 

Gintoki received yet another pat to the shoulder from Jirochou. He smirked, and gave a nod. 

"Take care, kid. Maybe you and I can go for a drink sometime, get to know eachother better". 

"Okay, old timer. We'll do that. Take care of yourselves, and keep that girl outta trouble". Gintoki walked his own path, hearing the chipper echo of Pirako's voice saying "see ya around, bro". All's well that ends well. At least for the time being. 

Gintoki headed home. For the rest of day he would spend his birthday with the two kids waiting at home and then...what? He thought about the possibility of Hijikata actually showing up at the door by the end of the evening. There was no way that would happen, though. Too cliché for this fanfiction, certainly. But as the hours went on, Gintoki found himself feeling tense and perhaps disappointed because there was a heavy possibility that Hijikata wouldn't be able to see him at all that night. Acknowledging words like "tense" and "disappointed" made Gintoki feel stupid. He was the one who argued and said that Hijikata didn't have to see him today, of all days. If he had work, then it couldn't be helped. Gintoki didn't want that mayo-addict fawning over him because it was supposed to be a special day. He didn't want that guy turning up if it interfered with work...No matter how much Gintoki really wanted to see him. 

... 

The circumstances were quite sudden, but with a squad under Hijikata's command, more thugs hiding out in that apartment were arrested. When they arrived at the apartment for more investigating, four of them were inside, packing up boxes-which contained illegal substances. Hijikata looked around the apartment himself after their swift arrest and found a new location: a possible hide-out for a very small drug ring in the red light district. According to the map attached to the apartment wall and the return address' on the boxes, they appeared to be hiding out in an old warehouse by the docks. Where else could they be making illegal substances but an abandoned location? He stood outside the apartment building, watching his subordinates guide all four thugs into the police van to be taken back to the station. It was a good idea to bring a squad along, in case anymore of them showed up. But there was no telling if they made contact to their boss yet. It took some effort, but they had yet another lead. 

"Yamazaki...". 

"Yes, Vice-Chief?" 

"I want you and a small squad to keep an eye on this warehouse, in case they decide to make a move before we conduct a stake-out. We'll get rid of them once and for all tonight". 

"You're not holding anything back today, are you, Vice-Chief? Alright, I'll organise a squad to keep an eye on the place". 

"Good work. I'll, er...See you back at the station". 

"See you there, Vice-Chief. We'll be waiting for your order". 

Yamazaki also got into the van with the others, giving a quick salute to Hijikata before shutting the doors. They drove on ahead while Hijikata stuck around with the patrol car parked next to the curb. He lit up a cigarette. Their vast progress left him in a better mood, although he was already tired and weary from working without a single break on his mind. A stake-out had to go underway tonight. Since it was a very small "business", it was likely that this warehouse was their one and only hide-out. If the police moved now, and trapped the rats in the one place, then this investigation would officially be over, putting aside the hearing in court.

This was the one and only break Hijikata planned to have today: a cigarette. But thinking about it, about the circumstances, he had hope. If all went well, then perhaps he would be able to see Gintoki today. Yes, this thought had traveled back and forth in his head all day and had pent up a little more stress than it should have. But the way they organised this stake-out, plus the interogations of each new suspect, he could be finished by nine or ten o'clock at night. Ten o'clock was more plausible. Okay. Alright. It was a plan. 

Walking over to a nearby ashtray in the smoking area, Hijikata blew out one last puff of smoke before crushing his cigarette into the metal tray. His eyes shifted up, and caught something at the far end of the street. He froze in place, making sure that he was seeing correctly. It appeared to be a bakery. It was a small bakery that Hijikata had never visited before, since he didn't familiarise himself with this side of town. A thought came to mind, and it circulated for a while. Then...he felt foolish. If he really did have time to see Gintoki tonight, if it really was possible, then would it hurt to get something for him? Screw it. That's what he thought, lightly slapping his hand on the ashtray. Screw it. He began to walk towards this bakery with his hands stuffed casually in his pockets. Screw it. If he bought something for Gintoki, and they were actually able to meet... Screw it. Screw it all. Even if it was just for an hour or two... Hijikata was absolutely determined to see Gintoki by the end of the night. No more hesitating. 

... 

At around seven in the evening, Gintoki arrived at the apartment with his work bag weighing down on his tired shoulder. As soon as he opened the door, he removed it from his shoulder with a sigh. With this action distracting him, he did not expect he scene of the other side of the door. 

"Surprise...!" It wasn't as loud as the "surprise" at the office, but Gintoki was still...surprised. 

He flinched, immediatly spotting Kagura and Shinpachi sitting at the dinner table with a whole display set up. They had prepared a hot-pot for Gintoki's return... 

"Welcome back, Gin-san". Shinpachi greeted. 

"Welcome home, Gin-chan". Kagura also greeted. "Enjoy the party?" 

Gintoki sighed. Enough surprises already, geez. He dropped his back, lightly, onto the floor and removed his shoes at the entrance. 

"You kids...Lemme guess, you knew about the party as well?" They nodded. "Do I have any more surprises on the way?" They shook their heads. 

"Nope. This was the last thing we planned out for you before Mayo-...Uh, before you could sit and relax at home". 

"I see...Well, it was a fun party. I'm really impressed-by this too". 

"Come sit down, Gin-san. We're about to start, now that you're here". 

Gintoki approuched the table after removing his coat and scarf, soon noticing a third participant. She came out from the kitchen, arms folded, managing the tiniest smile. 

"Yo...". 

"Eh? Ts-...Tsukuyo?" 

He didn't expect that. Why Tsukuyo of all people? Out of everyone he knew, how was she the only other guest here at the Sakata family dinner table? 

"I just came by to drop off your presents from Hinowa and Seita, but these kids invited me in so I could hand them over myself". 

"Is that so...?" 

"We can wait, Gin-san. Why not open your presents first?" Shinpachi suggested, starting to add noodles into the hot pot 

"Alright. Gimme a minute, you too". 

"Don't take too long, 'cause we're starving over here, aru". 

Tsukuyo and Gintoki sat on the sofa together while the kids handled the food. Kagura was impatient, filling up the pot with meat-mostly meat-and vegetables. Sitting on the sofa, Tsukuyo passed over the gifts, which had been attached together with double-sided tape and two lines of string to tie them together. Gintoki undid the string, and separated the gifts from eachother. The biggest one was from Hinowa, as written on the small card with hugs and kisses scribbled at the end. He tore it open, revealing a sweater. 

"She made it herself, specially for today. Do you like it?" 

"Yeah. It's better than receiving a buncha dresses from a group of okama". 

"Huh...?" 

"Uh, nothing. I didn't say anything". 

The present from Seita was smaller, and box-shaped. Tearing open the wrapping paper revealed a box of trading cards homemade by Seita himself, as he said in his card. A cool gift from a pretty cool kid. 

"And this is mine". Tsukuyo handed over a small envelope, sitting back with her leg crossed over the other, her arms still folded. 

"You didn't have to, y'know". 

"Of course I did. Now shut up and open it".

Gintoki rolled his eyes, giving up, and opening up the envelope. Inside was a series of tickets; once Gintoki's eyes read over them, Tsukuyo smirked. 

"...Pole-dancing lessons?" 

"Uh-huh. We provide pole-dancing lessons at the club, so feel free to come by". She did this as a joke, didn't she? For her own amusement. There was no way she handed out these free tickets seriously. 

"Uh, Tsukuyo, I don't think I'm flexible enough for this kind of...activity, so I might pass these on to someone else, but...thanks anyway". 

He slid the tickets back into their envelope, placing it on the table as if he was holding a shitty diaper. The uncomfortability was as clear as day on his idiotic face, provoking laughter from Tsukuyo. 

"Haha, oh man...I haven't been amused by your stupid face in a long time. Priceless". 

"Okay, okay. You had your fun. Can we move on now?" 

"Sure, sure. So...got any plans after dinner with the kids over there?" 

"Uh...Not really". 

"Eh? Aren't you going to see Hijikata-san?" 

He had heard this quite a few times already. The answer would always be the same: 

"I don't think so. He might be working an all-nighter tonight, so...I doubt we'll be able to see eachother. He told me about this job he's doing on serial murders in the Kabuki district. I didn't really hear much about it, but...". 

"Serial murders? Did he say that these took place by bars?" 

"...? Something like that, yeah. Why? Do you know something?" 

Tsukuyo did in fact know something. The red light district was a small part of Tokyo, so anything and everything got around like a flu virus in winter. She had heard of this small, drug dealing business who went out of their way to murder clients who didn't pay up on time. That would explain the serial murders, and now the district police were following their trail. And that was what kept Hijikata busy when he was supposed to be with Gintoki today? What a fool...Honestly... 

Before Tsukuyo could respond, having paused for too long, the phone on the desk started to ring obnoxiously. All other noises such as conversation or the boiling of the hot-pot at the dinner table was cut off. Gintoki stood up to answer it. Kagura watched intently from the dinner table, cellphone in hand and kept under the table's surface. Seemed like the Mayora received her text. She smiled to herself. Gintoki was a little hesitant to pick up, the reason behind his hesitance unknown even to him, but he quickly cut off the ringing with a swift swipe of the receiver. 

"...Hello?" He answered, gripping the top of his desk chair with his hand. 

["...Hey, Gintoki. It's...Well, you know who it is"]. Hijikata... Gintoki's chest tightened up. Swallowing his own spit, he took a brief moment to put together a sentence before speaking. 

"Uh...H-hey, Hijikata. Working hard?" 

Already, this felt nice. It felt...so nice to hear his voice. 

["I am, actually. I've been doing what I can to end this investigation and I can safely say that we're close"]. 

"Is that so? Good to hear. I can only imagine that you would be pulling an all-nighter just to wrap things up. Impatient and stubborn...That's you". 

Hijikata paused. He didn't respond for a few seconds. When he did, his voice shook ever-so-slightly. But that didn't stop him from maintaining composure. 

["Actually, Gintoki, I, er...We're planning a stake-out in the Kabuki district tonight. Once that's over, all I need to do is turn up at court tomorrow. So...If all goes well, I'll..."]. Hijikata was refraining from saying it. He was holding himself back. ["Gintoki, you know I wouldn't usual make any promises that I couldn't necessarily keep, right?"] 

"Yeah...I know". 

["But...But I want tonight to be an exception"]. 

"O-oi...". 

["You're going to Pop's tonight for a drink, aren't you?"] 

"Yeah, I am. I'll be there for around nine, so-" 

["I'll be there"]. 

Gintoki stood frozen, unable to speak. This idiot... How persistent was he going to be? If he knew he couldn't make fragile promises, then why would he... 

"Hijikata, I told ya, you-". 

["You don't think I'm hearing you properly? I know how much you don't wanna interfere with work, but you're not. After tonight, I'll go over to Pop's and meet you there. Ten o'clock at the latest, okay? I'll be there and...We can spend the rest of your birthday together over a few drinks"]. 

Gintoki sighed deeply. He couldn't believe this guy. Really, what an idiot...He really was stubborn. But Gintoki couldn't bring himself to be totally angry. 

"Alright then, Mr Policeman. I'll wait for you, but if you don't turn up by ten I'll be drinking myself to sleep. Got it?" 

["Yeah, I got it. I know it's stupid of me to say these things, but...I just really want to see you today, Gintoki. I won't miss it"]. 

"...I'll...see you later, then". 

["You will. Oh, and Gintoki...Happy birthday..."]. 

"...". 

The line went silent for a moment, then hummed in Gintoki's ear as he remained frozen on the spot. He then put down the phone. Everything was quiet. Everrthing was still. Everything except this thumping in his chest and the racing, stressed-out thoughts in his head. But he composed himself, turning around with a casual smile. 

"Okay, kids. Ready to start dinner?" 

The two kids paused. They didn't seem as eager after hearing Gintoki's tone when talking to Hijikata. Even so, they smiled and nodded. Tsukuyo had been listening too. Once the call had ended, she stood to her feet and headed towards the table...No, she...headed for the front entrance. 

"I won't stick around any longer. You guys enjoy dinner, alright?" 

"Tsuuki...". 

"I'll speak to you all soon. Happy birthday, Gintoki". 

"Oi, Tsukuyo". Gintoki went after her just as she slipped her boots on at the entrance. "Wait up a moment". 

He saw her out, although things went a step further once he opened the door. Tsukuyo turned to him with a serious expression. 

"Gintoki...What exactly did Hijikata-san say to you?" 

"Huh? Oh, er...Apparently he's planning a stake-out in the red light district as part of that job and...He said he's going to meet me afterwards. He...The idiot sounded pretty determined". 

"...Is that right...I'll watch his back for you". 

"Huh...?" 

"See ya, Gintoki". Tsukuyo made her way down the hall, further towards the elevator. 

"O-oi, what do you-...". 

"I'm sure that he'll meet with you tonight. Have some belief in him. Seeing how close you two are, I doubt he'd break a promise like that. Tell him I said hi, will ya?" 

Gintoki watched Tsukuyo enter the elevator, giving a faint smile and a brief wave right before the door slowly closed. Gradually, Gintoki entered the apartment again, feeling a little solemn. Shutting the door and putting on a faint smile, he joined the two kids for some hot-pot. Honestly, sitting with those kids at the end of the evening was fun. They provoked a true smile and some laughter when fighting over the best meat in the pot. But at the back of his mind, he couldn't stop edging his thoughts towards the topic of Hijikata and the words he let slip during their phone call. Gintoki couldn't imagine what Hijikata was thinking during that phone call. He sounded so serious and firm about his decision. And Gintoki wanted to believe in it. He didn't know how to feel anymore about all of this. He wanted Hijikata to continue his work and to not allow his personal life to interfere. That one phone call would have been enough, just hearing him say "happy birthday" unlike that one night last year...It would have been enough for him, but...Gintoki's feelings were mixed. That idiot...Both of them... 

... 

... 

At around eight-thirty, Gintoki made his way to the front entrance of the apartment, slipping on a pair of boots and his coat to ward off the cold weather. He wrapped his scarf around his neck, adjusting it comfortably. Kagura came over, wearing her pajamas for bed, with Sadaharu following behind her. 

"Are you going to the old man's ramen place now?" She asked, instead hoping that he was going to go meet Hijikata. 

"Yeah, I am. Just for a few drinks, then I'll head back". 

"...". That was...thoroughly disappointing to hear. Still, Kagura hoped Gintoki would wake up and go see Hijikata-and vise versa. That mayo-addict had to wake up himself, for Gintoki. 

"Kagura...Thanks for today. This was the best birthday I've had so far. You kids are...really amazing, y'know?" 

"...! I-it's no problem, Gin-chan. But next year will be even better, just you wait!" 

"Hm...I look forward to it. See ya, kiddo. Oh, and, don't stay up too late". 

"Don't come in here drunk outta your mind. See ya...". 

With a nod and a faint smile, Gintoki left the apartment. Kagura stood by, crossing her arms, hoping that the two idiots would meet eachother. 

"Gin-chan and the Mayora are meant for eachother, huh, Sadaharu?" Sadaharu barked at that, panting. "Two idiots acting like idiots. If they really like eachother, then they should have no problem being together today of all days. But grown-ups live in a whole different world from us kids. I wonder how they'll feel if they don't get to spend today with eachother? Surely...Gin-chan would feel sad, no matter how much he'd try to hide it. And the Mayora would probably feel really guilty. Grown-ups can be really petty sometimes, too, huh?" 

At around eight-thirty, also, Hijikata had gotten into the car with Harada, on their way to the stake-out point with a whole squad ready to wrap this up. He sat in the passengers seat, arms crossed, brows furrowed. The sirens rang out, red and blue flashing brightly in the darkened streets. No holding back whatsoever. No hesitation. Harada looked in the mirror above, noticing the box-shaped plastic bag sitting in the back seat. It was important for him to stay focused, but the curiosity was too distracting. 

"Vice-Chief, what's with the box in the back? Is that evidence, or...?" 

"It's none of your concern, Harada. Let's stay focused on the mission, alright?" 

"...Sure, Vice-Chief". 

The night had only just begun with tension rising. During that time, the squad had driven all the way to the red light district, ready to attack and arrest some serial killers. During that time, Gintoki had arrived at Pop's ramen place and had sat down at the bar and ordered a drink. Gintoki waited. Hijikata did his best to get this over with. They were both preparing for the worst case scenario in their own time, but they were both equally and stupidly determined to meet face-to-face tonight. For a night like this, like any other in Gintoki's eyes...Why did Hijikata have to take it so seriously? For a night like this, that only comes once a year in Hijikata's persective, why did Gintoki continue to push him away and then pull him back? 

The warehouse was in his sights, and Hijikata ordered a full-on bombardment of the chosen squad to begin their arrests. Men flooded from the cars and vans, at the ready. With the time passing nine o'clock, Gintoki ordered another drink from Pop's. The night was going by in a flash with arrests and resistance, drinking alone and waiting patiently...There was still time. Hijikata still had time. He could make it. He had to...He had to make it. 

... 

The sirens continued to ring out, echoing in the streets. Men and women alike were arrested and brought into police cars and vans. There weren't that many, though, seeing as it was a small drug ring. After some searching throughout the warehouse, they confirmed their involvement with making illegal substances. And at the station, they would confirm fingerprint analysis to the weapons used for the murders. Hijikata checked his watch. Nine-fourty-five. Nearly ten. Police vans and cars began to drive off with the criminals sulking in the back seats. The job was done. There was some resistance from the thugs who had the balls to strike policemen. That and the searches throughout the warehouse took up some time. But Hijikata believed he could make it if he hurried. 

"Vice-Chief, we caught the leader of the drug ring". 

"Good work, Harada. We'll have a fingerprint analysis conducted as soon as possible and get a confession out of him in court tomorrow". 

"Yes sir. Should we take him in?" 

"Yeah, since everyone else has their hands full. Bring him to the car". 

"Right away, sir".

Harada walked off for a few moments, going into the warehouse to pick up the leading man, Minami, in handcuffs. Minami was dragged over towards the car, to be taken away and put in a cell with his buddies. This leader was a shabby looking man with a nervous, but pissed-off, look in his eyes. They darted around, his feet dragging along the dirt further and further towards the car when... 

"Kuh...!" 

"Harada...!" 

Minami made a bold and idiotic move, shoving Harada into the police car with his full weight, excluding his handcuffed hands. He made a run for it. Quickly, Hijikata brought Harada to his feet before chasing after Minami at top speed. Other cops split into two groups: one to make sure Harada was okay, and the other to help their Vice-Chief. 

Hijikata went into a blind dash, chasing after the single target. Even for a guy in handcuffs, he sure could run fast. Hijikata yelled out empty phrases, telling the bastard to stop and to come right back. It was no use, and Hijikata knew that. Still, he chased on, even when his breathing heaved and started wheezing. Even when his lungs felt weak from a lack of energy and nicotine. But his motivation was the promise he made. It seemed so silly, yet...Yet... 

"Haah! Haah! Haa! Get back here you bastaaaard!" Hijikata yelled at the top of his heaving lungs, chasing Minami into the red light district's streets and alleyways. 

Eventually, soon enough, Hijikata's legs grew weak. Minami ran into an alleyway, leaving Hijikata behind as he lost his breath an energy. He panted heavily, unable to compose himself. 

"I have to...I have to hurry, otherwise...Haah...Haa...Otherwise-...". Otherwise Hijikata would be letting Gintoki down. 

Gintoki was understanding. He acted like a man, always. Something like this wouldn't bring him to tears, but...Hijikata knew himself that Gintoki wanted to meet with him today. Hijikata didn't want to miss anything again, especially now, in their relationship. He didn't want Gintoki to feel bad about today. He...That's it. The reason why Hijikata was so determined to see him, so determined to make Gintoki feel happy about today...He...He- 

"Kaaaaah!" 

Suddenly, there was a spine-chilling scream that echoed from within the alleyway. Hijikata raised his head, still trying to catch his breath. Standing up straight, he staggered into the darkness of the alley. Two steps, three, and not another sound was made from within. He looked around, and then... 

"...!" 

The body of Minami, the drug ring's leader, collapsed onto the ground by Hijikata's feet. No...He was thrown to the ground. The man was still alive; that was evident from the twitching and the heaving of his back as he struggled to breath. And from the darkness, another figure approuched. 

"Honestly...I thought I cleaned up this place without the cop's sticking their nose in". 

"...! You're...!" 

From the darkness, Tsukuyo approuched with a cigarette between her lips. She smiled, stamping her boot on Minami's back. 

"Glad I could be of assistance, Hijikata-san. Now, take this piece of trash to jail already and...Go meet Gintoki, for god sakes!" 

"...! How do you...". 

"That's for me to know and you to find out. Gintoki can tell you all about it tonight, when you get your ass outta here and you go see him. Honestly, aren't you guys supposed to be dating?" 

"I don't know what to say...". 

"Thank me later. Now hurry up! Go before this shitty bastard wakes up. And leave me outta it, will ya? I don't feel like getting questioned by the police". 

"Haah...Alright. You have my thanks, Tsukuyo". 

"Anytime. Now hurry up. Knowing him, He's probably still waiting for ya". 

... 

The restaurant had emptied vastly as the minutes ticked on. With only two servings of sake and a clear head in front of him, Gintoki continued to wait patiently. At around ten-thirty, Pop's placed his hand on Gintoki's shoulder with his usual, wrinkled smile.

"Gin-san...We're closing now". 

Gintoki smirked to himself, nodding. 

"I got it, Pop's. I'll be outta hair, then". 

To be honest, he was disappointed. That feeling of inevitable. Of course he would be disappointed. Hijikata wasn't able to turn up after all. But although he was disappointed in the situation, he wasn't disappointed at Hijikata. In fact, he understood that work kept that guy busy. It was the norm'. They often couldn't meet because of work, and Gintoki understood that with his head held high. Today's date wasn't anything special. So why make a fuss? Why try so hard? Slipping out some money to pay the bill, Gintoki got up from his seat and handed the money to Pop's. 

"Thanks, Pop's. I'll stop by for another special drink next year, but you can be sure I'll come again soon for a bowl of ramen". 

"Alright, Gin-san. Have a good night. And...Happy birthday". 

Gintoki exited the bar, shifting the banner over his head as he stepped out. He stared up at the sky for a while. It was blank, empty, like always. Not a single blind spot for a single star to shine through. It wasn't like last year. Stuffing his hands into his pockets, forming a faint smile, Gintoki slowly walked down the path, away from the restaurant. His mind was as blank as the sky. If he thought about it anymore, surely his heart would break. It was meant to be a joke, but Gintoki didn't laugh. He walked instead, with his head held high. He walked, hesitating with each step. Huh? Why? Did he think Hijikata would catch up to him if he walked slowly? Ridiculous...That kind of stuff...was fairy-tale stuff. 

As Gintoki slowly took each step, wanting so desperately to gain speed and never look back, he ended up doing the exact opposite. There was a sound. It repeated for a while, almost in a rhythm...Panting. Heavy panting, but not a word spoken. Gintoki had frozen on the spot-not even turning around right away. When he did, when nothing was said to him to clarify who was behind him, he very quickly discovered the very fairy-tale standing behind him...and the shock caused a skip in his heart beat, and his blood to run cold. 

"...". 

"Haah...Haah...H-hey...". 

"...Hi-...Hijikata...?" 

Hijikata...Hijikata...It was actually Hijikata. He stood there. They stood there, not saying another word to eachother as Hijikata caught his breath, and as Gintoki tried to process all of this. He was really there...He really came... 

Haah, look...I know I did a stupid thing". Hijikata approuched further, his red cheeks and heaving chest more visible in Gintoki's eyes. "...A really, really stupid thing by making a promise like that, but I...I was determined to come here. I...". 

"You really wanted to see me, huh? I waited for so long and you...". 

"I realise that, but-...Hey...You're sober...". The observation came out of the blue, as did the astonishment on Hijikata's face. Due to this, Gintoki was caught a little off-guard. 

"So what?" He questioned. 

"...I thought if I was late you would "drink yourself to sleep"...". 

"...Well, I didn't. Wasn't really in the mood to drink that much". 

That was only half the truth. Really, Gintoki kept himself from drinking anymore than two servings because...He wanted to stay sober, because he believed Hijikata would come-and he wasn't going to get himself drunk for that. He really believed that Hijikata would come eventually if he waited. And he did...Hijikata was aware of this fact, and he felt guilty for his tardiness. 

"Gintoki...I'm sorry. I didn't think you would wait for me for so long. I thought I could make it on time, but things got in the way with work and-". 

"But you still came here instead of assuming I gave up and went home". 

"...I did". 

This guy...Gintoki had a hard time reading him, too. A really hard time. His outward emotions and his true emotions were totally different from eachother, kept seperately at all times by a concrete wall. That couldn't be helped, though. Gintoki was the exact same way. 

"Why? Why did you still come here? Why are you so persistent and determined to spend time with me today? Why did you make a promise that you probably couldn't keep?" 

"...I don't want to make a huge fuss, Gintoki. This doesn't have as much thought or time as those kids of yours put into their celebration. But I still wanted to see you smile today, and to see you, honestly, have fun on your birthday". 

"But-...". 

"It doesn't matter if you don't know your real date of birth, because this is the day you chose. For whatever reason, you decided that today you would turn a year older, so why miss out? Don't feel bad about the fuss or the effort made, because that's what today is for". 

"...". 

"And I...I don't wanna see that look on your face again. Last year, when you told me that you didn't know when you were born...You looked so accepting of that-you thought you didn't deserve to be surrounded by the people who care. I don't have much lined up like everyone else. But if I can bring you the tiniest bit of happiness for turning twenty-eight, then isn't it okay to smile and have fun today? Even if it was just for a few minutes...I wanted to be with you, and make that happen...". 

Gintoki had kept quiet the whole time, but he couldn't keep quiet for long. He couldn't believe his ears; hearing how sincere and emotional he was getting about this, all without shedding a single tear. Hearing what Hijikata was saying, a certain feeling, an urge, stirred up inside Gintoki. He approuched Hijikata, closer and closer, raising his hand and then... 

"Ow! Wha-...?" ...Flicking his forehead, preventing him from saying anymore. 

"See...?" Gintoki spoke up, staring into Hijikata's eyes as he stared right back, caught off-guard. Gintoki had paused in the middle of his sentence...He then smiled faintly...But this smile radiated more happiness as well as a gentle nature that not many saw in Gintoki. "You're the idiot here...". He mumbled. 

Gintoki approuched still. Hijikata didn't move an inch, especially when Gintoki had boldly wrapped his arms around Hijikata. On instinct, seeing how gentle Gintoki was being, Hijikata also brought Gintoki in closer for a hug. Warm and secure, they remained in that position for a few moments with their heads resting on the other's shoulder like they were lying on the cooler side of the pillow. The feelings they felt both on the outside, warmth and comfort, were similar to what they felt on the inside, security and...Well, it was difficult to explain their inner feelings in more detail. 

"I tried so hard to keep even you from making any sort of fuss, y'know". Gintoki admitted, despite that fact being quite clear. "...but here you are. So stubborn and soft...It's unbelievable, though". His voice trailed off as Hijikata began to rub soft circles into his back. "It's unbelievable how happy I actually am, seeing you run all the way here out of breath and outta your mind". 

Happy? Gintoki felt happy about this...Hijikata couldn't believe it himself, but was touched by his words.

"Hah...I suppose I am". 

"...". 

Pulling away, just a little, cupping Gintoki's cheeks, Hijikata met his forehead in the middle. Gintoki's skin was just as chilled as his, as he found. Although he had already uttered these words, he felt the dire need to say this one more time, in person, face-to-face.

"...Happy birthday, Gintoki". Hijikata muttered softly, almost like a whisper. 

Two smiles were provoked from those words, and some chuckling as if to say "you said that already". But these words didn't leave Gintoki's lips. Instead, they remained at peace with nothing more to say as they took in the moment as it was. And then, pulling away from eachother, Gintoki glanced down at his watch, and the moment was broken. 

"Dammit...". 

"What is it?" Gintoki glanced around in desperate thought before giving an affirmative nod to himself, grabbing Hijikata's hand. "Ah! Gintoki...?!" 

"We should hurry. There's still about two hours left until the day is over. There's a love hotel nearby, so let's celebrate there, huh?" 

Hijikata allowed himself to be dragged along, allowing Gintoki to lead the way. He seemed much more eager now. Whether it was a cheap restaurant, the apartment, a love hotel, or anywhere else, Hijikata would happily spend today with Gintoki. Knowing that Gintoki was happy as well...It gave Hijikata a great reassurance that his efforts to work hard weren't for nothing. But some better organising was in order. 

... 

"Okay...Good work, Harada. Ah-...Yeah, I'll be in court tomorrow. Okay...See you then".

Hijikata hung up his cellphone, turning it off for the night. He stood just outside of their hotel room with Gintoki waiting patiently inside, curiously looking into the plastic bag that Hijikata had brought with him in his earlier mad dash. Apparently all the criminals behind the serial killings were securely behind bars, each one being prepared to end up in prison with their idiotic leader. All's well that ends well. He entered the room, freezing in place to see Gintoki lazily sprawled across the bed with his dead fish-eyes staring at the ceiling. With a smile, he shut the door and removed his shoes and uniform jacket. 

"Oi, lazy-bones, ready for the present I bought for you?" 

"Hey, is that any way to treat the birthday boy? After you gave me such a big speech earlier...". 

"...". 

"I'm kidding. Show me what you bought, 'cause I've been dying to know". 

Gintoki sat up. Hijikata sat on the floor, in front of the room's coffee table with his present in hand. Slithering down to the floor, Gintoki sat and watched eagerly. Tossing out the plastic bag in the trash and opening the box, Hijikata revealed that he had gone to the effortless trouble of buying a...messy cake, of some kind. The dessert in question seemed to have sputtered and splattered around the inside of the box. After all, Hijikata did run a long way with it in hand. 

"Aah, shit. It looks kinda ruined, huh? Dammit...Think I can salvage it?" 

"The hell are you talking about, Hijikata? So what if it's a little messy? Still looks delicious to me. What is it, a cheesecake?". 

"Uh...Y-yeah. It's a cheesecake; a strawberry one". 

With Gintoki in mind, Hijikata had picked out a strawberry cheesecake from that little bakery in the red light district. It was coated in white cream with a biscuit base, strawberry jam on the inside as a few cut up strawberries on top that had incidentally collapsed or lop-sided due to Hijikata's running. 

"Got any candles?" Gintoki asked. Despite this not being an actual brithday cake, Gintoki wanted to treat it like one. And, surprisingly, Hijikata did as well. 

"Oh, yeah, I do. It was on a whim, but I bought candles as well". 

With the room as dark as it was, Hijikata decided that now was the best time to do this. He ripped open the pack of candles and pushed each one into the messy cheesecake's surface, around the strawberries. Twenty-eight candles wasn't available to them, so five would have to do. And with Hijikata's lighter, each one was lit up. 

"Okay...". Hijikata muttered, closing his lighter with a click. "You wanna...Ahem...Wanna make a wish?" 

"What, are we in high school?" 

"Just make a wish". 

Hijikata was so serious. So serious that Gintoki was incappable of hiding a smirk when he closed his eyes to make this wish. There a moment of peace and quiet, when darkness shrouded Gintoki's vision and when Hijikata had this sudden urge to crawl over and... Well, he didn't have a lot of time to decide that. Bravely, he gently inched closer and closer towards Gintoki, going around the coffee table while Gintoki's eyes were still closed. With his heart beating quickly against the walls of his chest, and with the sweat clinging to his palms, he leaned closer towards Gintoki. Closer and closer...Then...Gintoki opened his eyes, and met Hijikata's gaze. 

"...!" Embarrassed, caught red-handed and...caught with a red face, Hijikata remained frozen stiff. Gintoki stared right at him, his eyebrow arched and his smirk mocking. 

"What're you doin'?" He asked teasingly. "You tryin' to kiss me?" 

"Ah...D-don't get the wrong idea. I...I just...". 

"I could hear you shuffling around". 

"W-well...". He was absolutely livid; red right up to his ears. Hijikata was positively the most adorable thing Gintoki had witnessed today, even moreso than the onesie he received from Kagura. 

Gintoki slid his hand across Hijikata's red, hot cheek, leaning in himself with a swift lick of his lips. Closing their eyes instinctively, their lips also brushed together until finally meeting very soft, with a moist sensation to add. Then Hijikata didn't seem as embarrassed as before, when he was caught trying to be all smooth by sneaking one in. Right now, this kiss was somewhat better. Come to think of it, this was the first kiss they shared that day. And oh boy was it amazing. A simple, soft, and amazing kiss. 

Retracting his lips away from Hijikata's, Gintoki smiled at him, brushing his thumb to Hijikata's hot cheek. But his attention shifted to his birthday cheesecake, and he swiftly blew out the candles with both hands on his thighs. The illuminating flames went out, leaving the room in darkness. Smoke drifted up into the air from the candle wicks like feathers ascending into the air, if that were possible. Gintoki leaned back on his hands, staring at the smoke with this quiet fascination. 

"So...What did you wish for?" Hijikata asked, kneeling properly to take out the candles. 

"I wished for...a lifetime of sweets". 

"Seriously...?" 

"No, dummy". Hijikata rolled his eyes. 

"Then what?" 

"I can't tell ya that". 

"How come?" 

"If I tell ya, it won't come true". 

"That's just a myth, but...suit yourself". 

Gintoki didn't want to say it for two reasons: one, it may not come true, and two...it was, in all honesty, a little embarrassing. What Gintoki wished for seemed so far away and out of reach, but he wished for every birthday from now on to be like this one; spending time with everyone like today. Spending time with Hijikata like tonight...He didn't want to jinx that. Slapping knees, Gintoki stood up and took the birthday cheesecake with him. 

"Okay. I think it's time to cut this up and eat. Looks delicious...Do they even have knives in here?" 

Gintoki went foor the kitchen-like corner of the room, with two counters, a socket, and a set to make tea or coffee. That was the extent of it, aside from a few pieces of cutlary in the drawers. Gintoki looked through them in order to find a knife sharp enough to cut up the cheesecake, but not sharp enough for someone to create a murder scene in that hotel room. Whether that happened or not, no one could say and no one wished to think about that. Hijikata stared at Gintoki. He stared at the back of his head and the exposed nape of his neck. He was feeling brave today, like he had nothing to lose. There was about an hour left until midnight, so he might as well... 

Standing up from the floor, Hijikata came closer and closer to Gintoki. Sneaking his arms around Gintoki's waist, Hijikata cuddled him and kissed the exposed nape of his neck and the line that marked the beginning of his spine. Gintoki didn't react, but he did stop what he was doing. 

"Hijikata...?" He muttered, wondering what he was doing, or planning to do. 

"Gintoki...". Another kiss, a light shudder from Gintoki, and a few words. That's all it took to set this whole other mood while the lights were still out and the warmth shared between them still felt fresh. "...Are you ready for your real present?" 

Gintoki looked over his shoulder. With such words spoken in such a cool way, Gintoki was both amazed and seduced. Putting aside the sneak kiss incident, Hijikata was being his usual, cool and collected self. Bold, too. And Gintoki found himself liking that about Hijikata just a little more today. He smiled, lacing his fingers through Hijikata's and giving a subtle, but eager, nod. They kissed in their awkward position. A mere brush of the lips was enough...Enough until they got to the bed... 

... 

The aggression and eagerness Hijikata presented was quite new. With each deep kiss nearly suffocating Gintoki, a smirk or a chuckle could not be stopped. Eventually Hijikata pulled away from a rather deep and heated kiss to confront him. 

"What? Is something wrong with my kissing?" 

"Ha..N-no, Hijikata. It's just that you're actin' pretty bold tonight. What's up with that?" 

"What do you mean "what's up with that"? Fine, if you don't want me to take the initiative, then tell me what you want". 

"What I want?" 

"Yes. Do you wanna be top or bottom tonight? Should I do all the work or do you wanna be in total control? Since it's your birthday, I don't mind either way". 

It was impressive to see how willing he was, and how confident he could be. But even now he blushed and trembled in Gintoki's arms, sitting on his lap with his torse exposed right before Gintoki's eyes. It was a sight to see, but Gintoki had his arguments. 

"Hijikata, you can't expect me to pick one or the other. Sex is about both people, no matter what day it is. I want you to feel good too, alright? So relax, loosen up and...let me top tonight. I'll be good to you, since you've been so good to me". 

"Don't say that after I was late to-". 

"Oi...It's water under the bridge, and you're here now. And...I can honestly tell you how happy that makes me, Hijikata". 

"Gintoki...Gin-woah!" 

Suddenly, when he least expected any turn of events, Gintoki turned Hijikata over onto his back. With an impish smirk, Gintoki kneeled above him in earnest. He leaned further down, meeting Hijikata's forehead with his. 

"I'm happy...I'm really happy that you came, Hijikata". 

Gintoki held-...No...He squeezed Hijikata's hand, lacing the fingers together. Gingerly, Gintoki tilted his head for a kiss. Naturally their eyes closed and allowed themselves to indulge in the sweetness of it. Parting his lips, gasping, Hijikata gave Gintoki the opening to move onto a deeper, much more passionate kiss. Their lips stuck together, their tongues flicking and circling eachother. Under such pleasure, Hijikata couldn't hold back his voice. His face grew hot and his stomach tightened up with just a kiss. With Gintoki on top, Hijikata's boldness and resolve would shatter. With Gintoki in such a good mood, the pleasure, the heat, and the smallest amount of pain would only intensify. 

He didn't want Gintoki to hold anything back. But even as he said that, even when he asked Gintoki if he felt good too...Gintoki would smile, sweat dripping from his cheeks and the tip of his nose-his chest heaving-and he would hold back, he would reassure Hijikata that it felt amazing, like it was the best feeling in the world. Hijikata felt the exact same way, managing a smile before they went on. It was loud, and intense, and pleasurable...With their hands locked together, they made the last hour of the night a more rememberable one than the night from one year ago; a fuzzy memory without a word to eachother by the end...and the chance that they could become closer. Neither would have imagined it would go this far, to such an extent...But here they were. 

... 

The ceiling was dull. After adjusting his eyes to the darkness, Hijikata found out just how dull love hotel ceilings were. It wasn't something he wished to think about, but it passed the time as he caught his breath and regained a small ounce of energy. Soon enough, Gintoki lay beside him after finishing off his slice of cheesecake. He fell back onto the bed with a very content and happy sigh. 

"Pheew, man...That was good. My tummy's all satisfied 'cause I ate something delicious...Fuu...". 

Hijikata smiled and rolled his eyes, turning on his side to face Gintoki. 

"So, you have fun today?" 

"Hell yeah I did. This was a pretty good birthday. Although...I still don't feel any different. I don't feel older...I keep thinking that I might have felt older earlier in the year, or maybe the feeling hasn't come yet. But I wouldn't be able to remember somethin' like that, y'know?" 

"You don't have to. This is your chosen birthday, so you are older today. That's how it is, and that's how it will stay". 

"Mm...Y'know, I didn't pick today as my birthday. Sensei did". Sensei? He meant Shouyo-sensei? Since that day when Gintoki first mentioned him, he hadn't spoke of him...Until now. "I once asked Shouyo-sensei when his birthday was, 'cause I was curious and, well...He looked at me with a smile and said "I don't have a birthday". I felt bad for asking without thinking, so I admitted to him that I didn't have a birthday either. Then he patted me on the head with a smile and said "well, why don't we make today your first birthday?" Since then, my birthday was on October 10th". 

Another thing from Gintoki's past, talked about with such a casual expression. Wouldn't it normally be hard to talk about these things? 

"You know, I never did get a celebration the year after, because by then Sensei was gone. I never brought it up to anyone, so the first time I ever had a real birthday was when I was adult, back when Takasugi and I were still buddies. I didn't understand this special feeling people get when they turn a year older. Even now, it doesn't feel special. But when I see so many people treat it specially, at least now, I can feel the same way". 

It was a relief. Hijikata was glad to see that smile appear once more. On a day like this, Gintoki had to feel special. He had to allow other people to treat this day specially. That was the whole point of getting older and having a birthday, to have people gather around and celebrate the day you were born, to allow them to show their appreciation for you for one day. Gintoki must have felt it, seeing how many people really do appreciate him. 

The hands on Gintoki's watch overlapped at midnight, and the day was finally over. 

"Well, that's that. My birthday's finally over until next year". 

"Mm-hm. Hey, Gintoki...I think next year I'll be more organised; I'll take a vacation day on the tenth next year, and we can spend the whole day together. Okay?" 

"...Sure". 

Gintoki wore a smile, allowing Hijikata to cuddle up to him while in a state of immobility, from eating a lot. Gintoki had held back from saying "you think we'll last that long?" Was it stupid to think that their relationship would last for another year? Nobody could guarantee that. And there Hijikata goes, making promises he probably couldn't keep again. However, Gintoki was happy. He was happy that his wish and Hijikata's wish were similar; Gintoki wanted his next birthday to be like this one, and Hijikata wanted to stick around for another year to spend Gintoki's next birthday with him, just like this. Hijikata did indeed put a smile on his face, a real one. And he made him happier than he could ever have expected by turning up. "This was a good birthday": Gintoki thought with a sigh. The best birthday...so far. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tsukyo ex machina. She helped do this. Tsukuyo needs more love, and Gintoki x Hijikata/Hijikata x Gintoki doesn't get enough love.
> 
> Thank you for reading. You are all gorgeous people. The best... <3


	27. Distant Dreams and a Wakeful Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can safely say that this is the last autumn chapter, and then we're moving on to winter. I am late posting. I know. I took a break or two because I was stumped on this chapter, I kept going back and forth on ideas that I really wanted to do but they wouldn't work out. 
> 
> One thing I want to say is that during the winter part of this story, things will get pretty...serious. That's the idea, anyway. Especially towards the end. When this does inevitably end, it'll be a sad day for me because I've really enjoyed writing this, no matter how many slip-ups I've had with chapters or some odd OOC stuff. I am planning to go back and fix things when I'm finished, like spelling typos and maybe some of the descriptive stuff. I'm not finishing too soon, so if you really like this then don't worry. I've got a while to go before I finish this story, so...Let's just focus on the now. 
> 
> Sorry again for the late update. I feel bad, but it's out now and I hope it's enjoyable until I get to the more serious stuff later on. Enjoy.

Rain, again. Late at night, nearing the colder days of autumn, heading straight for winter, another rainstorm struck Tokyo out of nowhere. Firstly, there came the escapable light drizzle falling from the darkened clouds in the afternoon, joined by wind in the evening and now, this late at night, the storm was relentless. On the bright side, as ironic as that sounded considering the pitch black sky, there was no thunder. Lucky for the author sitting at his desk, who specifically said he had to concentrate. It was his own fault, having taken too many breaks when he should have been clicking away at his keyboard, typing every word into a word document for Otose. He was late already, and his deadline was set for tomorrow evening. However, he could be considered to have a little bit of luck, having Hijikata around. He would be wandering around more often during the evening since Kondo had forced him to take day shifts on patrol and avoid any case work before he damaged his health and his relationship with Gintoki. Always so considerate of him... 

At ten o'clock, Gintoki was still typing. His fingers were surviving the constant clicking of keys, and his mind was still stable from working for five straight hours. The only breaks he took was bathroom and meal breaks. He lacked sugar and cigarettes. Oh god where were the cigarettes when he needed them? That's what he asked himself, growing increasingly stressed everytime they popped up in his head, each brand floating around his thoughts as if they were on some godly cloud, tempting him to have just one. Not happening. Hijikata wouldn't let it happen if he knew just how desperate Gintoki was under such pressure. 

From the other side of the apartment, standing in the kitchen, Hijikata was preparing some sweetened tea. The tea spoon clincked and clanked as he stirred through the tea and honey mixed in. The steam arose in skinny, graceful swirls that smelled awfully sweet. Although he was unaware of Gintoki's desperation to smoke, now out of all times, he could see that he was lacking blood sugar. Picking up Gintoki's mugs Hijikata carried it steadily to Gintoki's desk. Both were ready for bed, but neither chose to go to bed yet. Out of the pair, Hijikata was the one most prepared to crawl under the sheets for the night. Gintoki, not so much. Due to his persistence to finish, at the worst time of the day, he promised himself not to leave the keyboard. 

The mug was set by Gintoki's laptop. Hijikata sat down on a comfier chair beside the desk to curiously watch him work, while also eagerly waiting for him to go to bed. The fact that he was working so hard was like a distraction and Gintoki had to be stopped before he ruined his eyesight; staring at the computer screen for so long. 

"Oh, aren't you a sweetheart? Thanks...". 

"Drink it now before it gets cold". 

"Hijikata, do I look like I should take a break? If I take a break, I stop writing. When I stop writing I stop for hours and then forget to finish. I fall asleep, Granny yells at me the next morning. My deadline's already tighter than a pair of leather pants worn in a brothel, so excuse me if I can't enjoy the sweetened tea you made specially for me". 

"Gintoki, you're tired. Take a short break and relax, okay? There's no harm in it if I keep you on track". 

Gintoki stopped typing. Realising how strained and sore his fingers were at the joints, he had to stop. With the screen brightly blaring in his eyes, he reached up to rub the sleep away with a quiet groan. Leaning back, Gintoki somehow managed to relax. 

"Haah...I'm exhausted. The old hag is too harsh on me with deadlines...Feels like I'm a kid complaining about getting punished for doing something bad. "It's not fair that I'm grounded and have to do double the chores all week. Yeah, I broke all my Mom's flower vases and ornaments, but it still isn't fair". How the hell can you say it's not fair when you broke all the expensive stuff, ya little shit?" 

The sleep deprivation and the pressure was the likely reason for his rambling. Seemed like he wasn't even speaking to Hijikata anymore. Just a man talking to himself, his eyes staring up blankly towards the ceiling. To stare at the ceiling only, rambling on to himself, it was safe to say he was drained of all energy and was potentially losing his sanity by the minute. Hijikata could almost see a health bar above his head deteriorating due to poisoning, like in Dragon Quest or some other generic RPG, MMO, so on and so forth. In this case, he was slowly being drained off all life through his work, the poison of his life when it came to deadlines. Gintoki had previously claimed his career to be his playground; that it was fun, he could do whatever he wanted, and once he claimed the story to be his, no one else could touch it. That's what he said. But this threw all of that out the window. 

Dark circles had coloured under his eyes, his complexion had become pale. But even so he reached for his mug of sweetened tea and sat back comfortably for sip. A long, needed, sip. The beverage slid down his throat, helping to give him a slight boost and the motivation to keep working on the novel. Ignoring the seething, almost painful, heat that scorched his tongue as he focused on the flavour and the aspect of gaining energy from the sugar. Having to rely on the sugar to stay awake, it was clear Gintoki was not of sound mind during these late night periods of typing, typing, typing. Nothing but typing and thinking and coming up with the next step on the spot. 

With one, big sip, leading to several big, thoughtless gulps, his drink was already half-empty. Slamming his mug down, Gintoki slapped himself on the cheek hard enough to leave a red mark. The person before Hijikata's eyes was someone totally different. He had lost his mind doing this for five hours straight. Would it ever end by this point? 

"Okay...Okay, okay, okay. I can do this...Gin-san can do this...I can finish by tomorrow...Okay!" Gintoki went straight back to typing. His fingers hesitated several times as he thought about the next few lines, but he continued on without intent of stopping. It was really concerning (No shit). 

"I've never seen you so tired before...". Hijikata's voice had just reached Gintoki's ears through this haze of exhaustion and ideas for the story. But, somehow, he managed to hear him. But the real miracle was the fact he was able to respond. 

"Well, welcome to my world. This is what an all-nighter looks like for an author with deadlines and an old lady publisher breathing down their neck. I wanna sleep, but...". 

"Then why not sleep? Gintoki, this really isn't good for you. If you stay up for too long, pushing yourself, you'll collapse. And I don't feel like calling an ambulance at one in the morning". 

"Really? I usually collapse around two". 

"Gintoki...". 

Hijikata serious and doting tone let a sigh escape from Gintoki as he retracted his hands from the laptop's keys. 

"Alright, alright. I get it. I'll come to bed. Jus'...lemme finish off this paragraph and I'll be right there". 

"Good. I'll see you there, then. And you'd better come up when you've finished". 

"Sure...Gonna gimme a kiss?" 

"...When you come to bed". 

"That isn't fair! You're too stingy, Hijikata-kun~". Gintoki whined, pretending to be oh so close to tears at his rejection for a quick good-night kiss. At that very moment, Hijikata rolled his eyes, also bearing dark circles underneath. 

Gripping Gintoki's shoulder, Hijikata bent down far enough to kiss his temple. A satisfied smile crossed Gintoki's lips, like he had won Hijikata over, or something of the like, with his whining. He uttered a quick thank you before letting Hijikata go to bed by himself. Gintoki did glance his way, looking up from Hijikata's sweatpants to the tee-shirt he had lying around, that originally belonged to Gintoki. Come to think of it, Gintoki was currently sporting Hijikata's short-sleeve hoodie to bed, and a comfty pair of fluffy shorts to somehow match. Crossing his legs into a basket-like shape, Gintoki swerved back towards the laptop and continued to work. One last paragraph, and then he could finish the chapter tomorrow. A good a plan as any when he was this worn out. 

Hijikata did indeed crawl under the covers, curling up underneath the warm layers while the rain pitter-pattered against the windows. His head never left the pillow for a while, the scent of Gintoki's shampoo laced through it. He managed to close his eyes and prepare for his journey to dreamland. During this time when he was drifting into the first sleep stage, he waited to hear the bed creak beside him, and feel a warm and secure cuddle embrace him as he slept. He waited for it. He waited to at least hear the creak of the door, or floorboards. But after maybe a few minutes of patiently waiting, there was no such sound or feeling to cross him. Nothing but the doubt that Gintoki had even thought about budging from that damn desk. How long does it take to write one paragraph? 

Wondering this, frustrated by the thought, Hijikata got up swiftly from the bed. He ignored his own tired and worn condition to go check up on Gintoki's. Did he want to collapse? Hijikata forced himself to march out of the bedroom despite the heaviness under his eyes and the weight of his legs that wanted to take him right back to the bedroom. But the fact of the matter was that his conscience sent him out to look down from the upstairs hallway, over the banister just to see Gintoki typing away on his laptop. A sigh was provoked, and the frustration surfaced. 

"What the hell are you still typing for?! Come to bed already you moron!" 

"Alright! Fine!" Gintoki slammed his hands on the desk in frustration. "Just lemme save my work and I'll come up, you damn-...!" 

("Will you two idiots shut up?!") They were being inconsiderate. Due to how tired they were, they became abscent-minded about the little girl catching up on "beauty" sleep in the next room. ("I'm trying to sleep! You wanna die, aru?!") 

Out of the three who currently occupied the apartment, Kagura was the most hot-headed without sleep. That was fact. And when she couldn't get to sleep it was bordeline annoying when she rambled on about her inability to shut up and fall asleep. If they, Gintoki and Hijikata, wished to sleep tonight it was better to say no more and apologise in the morning. And when entering Gintoki's bedroom together they silently prayed that tonight would be a restful night, excluding the rainstorm that howled on outside. 

... 

Rain water dripped and slid from Takasugi's bangs, and chills from outside caught up with him quickly. A long night stuck in the office to finish off work led to getting caught in the storm, thus having to call a car, and so on. Although the shower was momentary, both Takasugi and Bansai were soaked upon returning to their apartment. Their clothes were unbearbly damp, and the thick smell of rain water was putrid. The rain had soaked through Takasugi's bandages, which had covered his left eye all day but was now falling apart. Of course, in the safety of his home, there was nothing to hide. In front of Bansai, he had absolutely nothing to hide. 

"You're completely soaked...". Bansai muttered, still standing in the entranceway as they tried to pull off their shoes. The material on the inside was completely soaked, sticking to their socks, and the socks stuck to their feet. Obviously not the most pleasant sensation. "I'll get a towel for you...". 

"Please do...". 

Bansai was the first to head farther inside, flicking on the lights as he went to brighten up this dark and shady space. Having the lights on was much more comfortable, but it couldn't help the damp, stinking clothes that stuck to their bodies like a cluster of tape stuck to paper. Being in his own home with someone who had witnessed him strip many times, Takasugi wasn't uncomfortable when ridding himself of the sweater that stuck to his torso. Not that it would bother Bansai in any sense. He wasn't some pervert who would stare at that. From the place where they first met, Takasugi specifically had memories that haunted him for a time. The thought that he was being watched in such a place was perverse and uncomfortable. But Bansai was there...He was always there to block out watchful eyes while also refusing to lay a finger on Takasugi himself. Having Bansai there didn't bother him. He didn't stare at times like this. He had some sense of reason, always. 

A wide, fresh, fluffy towel was draped around Takasugi's body from behind. And Bansai took the liberty of stripping away the torn, soaked strips of bandages that hung from around Takasugi's head. 

"I'll start up the bath, so you don't catch a cold. So try to be a little patient, Shinsuke". 

Bansai was being far more attentitive towards Takasugi's well-being, rather than his own. And to Takasugi, when refering to human beings in general, such a thing was not common in his eyes. He never expected someone like Bansai to be so gentle and caring. After meeting him in "that place" this sort of behaviour was unexpected. Despite where he came from, however, there was always this sense at the back of Takasugi's mind that Bansai was gentlemanly and diligent. That impression may have rubbed off on him due to how well-spoken ane modest Bansai was. 

"You should strip too, y'know". Takasugi rubbed a corner of the towel through his hair, hiding a smirk beneath. "Don't just pay attention to me. I'm no caregiver, so if you get sick I'll have to call Kijima in to take care of you". 

"There's no worry there, I daresay. I haven't been sick since I got the mumps, and I was five years old then. Your body is much more fragile, and I've seen how easily you get sick because you never look after yourself properly, I daresay. That's what I'm for". 

When did he become like this? Takasugi had barely noticed, perhaps recognising his attitude towards him as ordinary. But recalling their first meeting, Bansai was still a brat compared to Takasugi. Looking at him now you would get the odd impression that he had grown up by at least a decade due to his appearance and his rather high-ranked job in the publishing industry. Oh, sorry...His "jobs" in two totally different industries. But back then he was mature and he...once put Takasugi before himself for no apparent reason. To this day, Takasugi wasn't sure why he made such a promise to stand by Takasugi's side, and so much more. And Takasugi, to this day, wasn't sure why he accepted Bansai into his life as a comrade and as a friend when his trust was already so broken. Maybe...Maybe Bansai simply saw something in Takasugi...and Takasugi saw something in him that was worth placing trust. It became unbreakable within a couple years or so, and now here they were four years later. How did it come to this, though? Of all things... 

... 

It wasn't often that Takasugi walked around the apartment in a pair of sweatpants and an unfitting tee-shirt, which belonged to Bansai originally. The thought of such a serious and well-dressed character wearing such loose clothing was unusual. The worst case, however, was if he suddenly started wandering around in a loose shirt, his underwear and nothing but. Takasugi wasn't planning to go so far. But despite his thoughtless choice of clothing, he kept a straight posture and continued on with his work when sitting as comfortably as he could on the sofa. He had crossed his legs over eachother in a basket, his laptop spreading heat on his legs from use. Bansai brought over tea to the coffee table, and Takasugi's previous thoughts somehow re-surfaced now that Bansai had re-appeared from the kitchen. His appearance really had changed. That only thought came to mind, knowing that the Bansai of today wore glasses to hide his eyes, and had dyed his hair. 

Takasugi must have been really important because instead of wearing his trademark headphones, blocking out all sound and voices around him, Bansai kept one ear open, facing Takasugi while the other held an earbud for music. Whenever Matako, or any one else for that matter, was in Bansai's presence their voices would be blocked out by the music parading his ears. Frankly, Bansai couldn't care less. But with Takasugi... 

"Bansai...". Takasugi muttered, retracting his fingers and thoughts from his laptop for a moment. "When we first met, you were...You were nineteen, weren't you?' 

"I believe so, yes". 

"Hmph...Quite young compared to me...A couple years outta high school and yet you ended up...". Shinsuke paused, clearing his throat. They both knew how the story went... 

"...Why are you bringing this up?" 

"I dunno. It came to mind, that's all. Despite where we were, that's what started our relationship...It feels weird to think about, seeing how much you've grown up in only four years". 

"Well...What did you think when we first met?" 

"Of you? Hah...I thought...you were a brat in comparison to me, and I wasn't even that old. I was college age when we met, but...We both know I didn't attend university that year". 

It was something to laugh about now, but treading back a month or so before Takasugi met Bansai and he stopped laughing. He could only stop himself, and the other feelings would tread back and grip at his chest with iron, red hot claws. So...He didn't go there. Instead he reminised his first meeting with Bansai, and everything after that that created this relationship. 

"You...What did you think of me, Bansai?" 

At this, Bansai hesitated to respond. Of course, he was listening; having only one earphone, and having been talking to Takasugi the whole time. Ignoring Takasugi, in Bansai's eyes, was simply taboo. Oh he was listening, and he took the time to register the question and think back to his thoughts from back then, his memories. What did he think when Takasugi walked through into that room, making eye contact almost immediatly? What did he see? 

"I thought...". Bansai was muttering, taking his sweet time to find the right words. How to express them...How would he express this? "My first thought was...You didn't belong in a place like that, I daresay". 

"...Neither did you". Takasugi didn't act too surprised by his answer, and responded similarly to which Bansai flashed this smile that he only showed once in a blue moon...Or at least in Takasugi's presence-and Takasugi's presence alone. 

"Are you sure?" 

"Mm...Not really. I suppose your age stood out. Someone at such a young age shouldn't be locked away. You even said you were innocent". 

"I was innocent. I told them over and over that I was at the wrong place at the wrong time, I daresay". 

Takasugi also smirked. The concept, what they were referring to, was no laughing matter to the ordinary. But for two individuals with such twisted, hidden personalities, they could smirk it off and pretend it was nothing. They left those memories behind three or four years ago. Water under the bridge. And no one around them was aware of that past left behind, aside from Takechi. He knew. He was there, for a time, standing outside, listening to the promise they made. That promise...Still, it remained unbroken. 

Saving his work on the word document, Takasugi turned off his laptop, setting it down on the surface of the coffee table, the heat underneath searing. Allowing that to cool off, he instead picked up his tea before it, too, cooled down. 

"...We should probably go to bed soon, I daresay". Bansai glanced at the clock above the kitchen counter, only just seeing the clock hands reach ten-thirty. "It's getting late". 

"I'm not very tired...Are you?" 

"No...Not really. Why? Would you like to stay up a little longer?" 

"Why not. We can talk and...Well, we never really talk that much because during the night it always comes to "that", so...I wouldn't mind talking like we used to. With you, it feels like I'm talking to someone whom I've known for years. It's ironic...You and I have been good friends for roughly four years, and I trust you with my life yet the people whom I've known for years and years are...They mean nothing to me...Not anymore...". 

The irony hurt, for a moment. Takasugi pretended the pain was that of a pin-prick, and then nothingness. He acted like it meant nothing at all anymore. He may have fooled himself, but Bansai was too damn sharp, not to mention attentitive. Takasugi's mug of tea was taken away from him and placed on the coffee table. Baffled, but silent, Takasugi turned his eyes to Bansai who was leaning in fast. Unable to take a good look at his blank, emotionless expression, Takasugi suddenly felt the warm, moist pressure of Bansai's lips on his with no time or room to breathe. Why was this always his method of coddling? With this sort of amusing thought in mind, Takasugi furrowed his brow while laughing in his head. Then, out of nowhere, the laughter burst like a bubble and came out during the kiss. He pulled away, covering his mouth. 

"Is something wrong, Shinsuke?" Bansai was overly-serious again, making this whole situation even more amusing. Moreso to Takasugi than anyone else... 

"N-no, it's just..Haha...You have this sudden burst of energy when you wanna comfort me and it's just...Hmhm...I can't-...!...Hold on...". 

Bansai was the only person who found Takasugi's laughter to be precious, because it was so rare. If Takasugi's laughter didn't sound as cynical as it usually does, then Bansai found it to be the most precious sound. And it brought him some sort of solace knowing that he was the one to make him laugh. Cupping Takasugi's cheek, caressing it, Bansai touched the tip of his nose to Takasugi's. The laughter and the struggle to form a coherent sentence came to a sudden end. Their eyes met. Behind the one, defective eye and the pair of sunglasses, their gazes met. 

"Do you feel better, Shinsuke?" 

Overlapping his hand with Bansai's, it fit. Their fingers locked, and it fit. Takasugi didn't feel compelled to answer the question. Instead, he closed his eye, rested his forehead with Bansai's and mumbled sweetly. Something only Bansai could hear. Something he would be reminded of every single day... 

"Bansai...You're so much more docile and gentle than you were back then...You know that...?". 

Bansai knew this himself. He recognised that he had somewhat changed since he had met Takasugi. However, these feelings he had...They uprooted when they became something much more than close friends. When the kissing and cuddling and the sweet nothing, as well as the sexual intercourse, began these new feelings and this new attitude surfaced. Bansai had also considered whether Takasugi had changed at all. There was a slight chance he had learned to open his heart to Bansai. But was that enough? Was Bansai waiting for something more? Something more than kissing, cuddling, sweet nothing and the closeness they shared during sex? Honestly...Yes...He did. What that could be...He didn't know...yet. 

... 

... 

Eleven o'clock. Hijikata had fallen fast asleep without a word. Gintoki, on the other hand, tried...Oh how he tried to join him in the world of slumber, dreams and some peace and quiet. This, however, was far too quiet. And he...He was not sleeping. Gintoki had gotten comfortable on his chosen side of the bed, fluffy shorts and no shirt because Hijikata's short-sleeved hoodie was too hot around his neck when he lay down. He had closed his eyes, shared the covers and yet he could not drift off. And it was annoying. So annoying that the bastard next to him could fall asleep within minutes while he couldn't get a single wink of shut-eye after scorching his brain to write a novel.

He wracked his brain and his body to find the best position to sleep in, tossing and turning, wondering whether he was lying the wrong way or if he should be cuddling with Hijikata. He thought it to be strange, having Hijikata in the same bed yet maintaining some sort of gap between them while they slept. Were they a married couple or something? Believing the lack of cuddling to be the issue, Gintoki shuffled closer and closer to Hijikata's broad, very inviting back to cuddle up. When close enough to feel Hijikata's body heat, Gintoki slid his arm under the weight of Hijikata's side, wrapping his other arm around Hijikata's right side. Such a warm and broad torso...If this didn't send Gintoki to dreamland then what would? That may have sounded somewhat dirty in his head, but if he went to sleep then, frankly, he didn't give a damn if he landed in dreamland or wet dreamland. On a side note, Gintoki was far more reasonable than that. Cuddling wasn't exciting. It was warm and fuzzy and made him feel good in the pit of his stomach. The smell coming from his very own shirt and Hijikata's hair was utterly delightful. The scent alone was like that of freshly baked cookies sitting next to an electric fan. Toxic...It was so good it was almost toxic. 

No doubt he could sleep like this. With a smile curving onto his lips he was able to close his eyes, taking a few more whiffs of Hijikata's soft hair. He could practically taste those cookies; a crumbly, crunchy exterior, but soft and sweet on the inside...Kinda like Hijikata. If Gintoki didn't stop thinking about it, surely he would start eating. With his own eyes closed, panting and nipping at Hijikata's nape with temptation, Gintoki had no idea that the man beneath him had his eyes open, wondering what the fuck this pervert was doing behind him. And it got frustrating, being treated like some sort of strawberry-flavoured sucking candy. 

"Gintoki. Stop licking me". There was no questions asked, just a simple command that Gintoki would have to follow if he didn't want to have his tongue ripped out of his mouth. 

"I'm not licking you". Gintoki argued in a daze, but still managed to utter coherent words. 

"Yes you are, you damn pervert". Hijikata began to snarl like a dog reaching the end of its tether, ready to bark and bite ferociously at whoever the hell decided to tease and annoy it today. "What the hell are you trying to do this late at night? You wanna die?" Unlike his usual fit of yelling, Hijikata was far too tired to raise his voice. It resulted in some firm threats with barely any audio. 

"I'm trying to sleep here and your talking isn't helping...!" 

"How is licking and sniffing me gonna help you sleep...?! Are you an idiot...?!" 

"Shut up. You smell good, so this is your fault...!" 

"My fault...?!" Hijikata sat up, enraged. Gintoki followed just to be on his level. Instead of full-on screaming at eachother, they were bumped down to hushed yelling because neither of them wanted to wake the brat that slept next door. "Don't blame me 'cause of your perverted cravings...!" 

"Quit callin' me a pervert...! I'm telling you, you smell too good so now I can't sleep...!" 

"Fine then...! It's my fault for smelling like a fuckin' meadow...! If it bothers you that much then let me be the big spoon, and you won't be able to smell anything...! Is that suitable enough for you to shut up and go to sleep already...?!" 

"Alright then...! I'll be the little spoon...!" 

"Fantastic...! Now shut the hell up and lie down...!" 

Frustrated and annoyed, Gintoki crashed onto his other side, waiting for the mayo-addict to cuddle up to him instead. What came as baffling to Gintoki was how gentle Hijikata chose to be after they had their petty little argument. Similar to how Gintoki went about it, Hijikata carefully slid one arm under Gintoki's side, and wrapped the other around Gintoki's left side. Back-to- chest, they were very close in contact. Compared to Hijikata, Gintoki's torso was bare and cold thus Hijikata was compelled to cuddle him more securely. Rubbing his hand up and down Gintoki's arm, kissing the back of his head, there came yet another pleasant smile across Gintoki's lips. In the end, Gintoki was always the happier one, the one who was most comfortable. In this position, he could settle down and potentially fall asleep without Hijikata's scent drifted into his nose to cloud his other senses...Without the scent that was like that of freshly baked cookies... 

And then...It happened. It happened when the cookies came to mind again. When that sound...When the low, growl emitted from the very core of Gintoki's empty stomach, he opened his eyes...as did Hijikata. They both heard it. And they were both pissed... 

"...". 

"...". 

"Are...". Gintoki mumbled very quietly to himself. He was almost in tears...Poor boy..."Are you...Are you freakin' kidding meeeeee...?!" Again, his screams of anguish and hunger were hushed, despite the need to scream at the very top of his lungs. 

Defeated, Hijikata rolled onto his back to rub the sleep from his eyes with both hands, groaning and sighing at the exact same time. Never...He would never rest unless this shit came to an end. 

"How could you be hungry now...?" He grumbled. 

"It was the cookies...Definitely the cookies...!" 

"What cookies...?!" 

"Your smell...That sweet, sweet smell reminded me of freshly baked cookies...Aaaagh...This is driving me insane, Hijikataaa~~...". 

"You think you're the only one...?!" 

Hijikata limply sat up, hunching over with yet another sigh. It was evident that he was totally drained of energy. If this continued he wouldn't have the strength to sigh and let out his mental anguish. Rubbing his eyes, Hijikata glanced to Gintoki's watch on the end table. What other choice was there but to get up and fill Gintoki's stomach before the sound of hungry dogs returned from its core? If he couldn't get any sleep then there was no doubt he wouldn't let Hijikata get any sleep either. Asshole. 

"It's still eleven...We'll get up, I'll make some warm milk, you can eat a midnight snack and then...Then we are going to sleep. Okay?" 

"Wait...You sure?" 

"Yeah...I'm thirsty anyway. And I won't be able to rest until you do...". 

Hijikata dragged himself out of bed, walking like a zombie to the bedroom door. Gintoki followed behind, picking up Hijikata's short-sleeved hoodie from the floor to slip on for warmth. Hijikata was really sticking his neck out, so the perm-head had to be grateful. But he too dragged his feet out from the bedroom with only sleep and dreams in mind. If this worked, and he fell alseep with some warm milk and a snack residing inside his stomach then a huge thanks was owed to the man who smelled of meadows and freshly baked cookies. Gintoki owed Hijikata if this worked. Being as desperate as he was to fall asleep, a simple thank you and a kiss would not be enough. 

... 

Milk was poured into a small pot above the stove. Hijikata handled the stove, half-asleep, potentially unstable to handle it. Gintoki dug around through his own cupboards for snacks, or something sufficient enough to go with warm milk. Around the top shelf, where Kagura could barely reach with her tiny, girly arms, Gintoki pulled out a half-eaten pack of cookies. The wrapper itself had been torn down the middle in his eagerness, immediatly after coming back with groceries a week or two prior to this. Torn straight down the middle, half of the cookies had been eaten within less than a week. 

"...You're not the only one who wants to sleep, y'know". When seeing the dark circles under Hijikata's eyes, tarnishing his good looks, Gintoki could empathise, but was there any need for the groggy sarcasm? 

"Yeah, yeah, I know. You want me to apologise for being restless? Huh? Hijikata? Is that what you want?" 

"No, there's no way you can apologise for something you can't control. But if you had gone to sleep sooner instead of staring at your computer screen, maybe you could have fallen asleep as per usual, at a good time. But, no, you were stubborn and now I'm making warm milk for us as if we're children getting ready for bed". 

"Hey, you suggested it. Not me". 

Hijikata didn't make up a retort on the spot. He grew quiet, focusing on the stove, woooden spoon in hand to gently stir their beverage. He sighed then, and spoke normally. He was quite calm and he...felt the need to share this, considering it was Gintoki. What came to mind didn't cause Hijikata any discomfort, but they were some pretty distant and somewhat insignificant memories.

"...Back when...we all lived in that dojo in Yokohama, Sougo used to get pretty restless at night. He was a hyper kid, so...I remember getting up in the middle of the night because I was sick of seeing Mitsuba get up for him, and I would prepare warm milk to get him to sleep instead of her. I also used to make it for my Mom when she had a hard time falling alseep, so I know it helps. It helps a lot". 

"...". 

Bringing up even the smallest details of the past can leave this certain effect on a person. When mentioning particular events or people, there's this sudden sense that you're exposing weak spots of past pain or hurt. And it may range from trembling words, brimming tears, shaking. Hijikata was still, and collected. He always was, but Gintoki half expected him to at least hesitate when bringing up Mitsuba and his late mother in the same story. But he didn't expose any weakness, knowing who was watching. 

Dragging the mugs closer by their handles, Hijikata poured the warm milk inside both evenly. And the topic was dropped. 

"I'd leave that to cool for a second or two. It'll be hot". From one of the kitchen drawers, Hijikata pulled out two teaspoons, sliding one to Gintoki while stirring his own. 

Gintoki couldn't take his eyes away from Hijikata's tense, serious expression. Almost as if he was purposely looking for a falter in his body language, even after the topic was dropped, never to be picked back up by Hijikata alone. Gintoki wished to add to it with a memory or two of his own, to reassure Hijikata that any past pain he experienced...He wasn't alone. So why bring up memories like these, as significant as they were, and feel upset or hurt about them? Why not treat them like one of many good memories? 

"Shouyo-sensei did the exact same for us, y'know...". Hijikata interests did peak, but he made no sudden movements and he did not ask Gintoki to go on, to go on with every little detail. If Gintoki wished to talk about it, then he was free to do so. "Takasugi used to make up scary stories and some of us would be too restless to sleep afterwards, so Shouyo-sensei would prepare this big pot of warm milk and cookies for all of us. I swear to god the milk and those cookies were god-like when put together". 

Hijikata managed a brief and subtle laugh then, seeing Gintoki's expression and the way he depicted the combination of milk and cookies as being "god-like". 

"It didn't happen very often but those are some of my fondest memories of him. That and every sketching lesson or game of checkers". 

"You did...mention that he taught you how to sketch". 

"He did, and I became good at it. I even joined the art club for a while, but it was so boring and the work was so forced that I dropped it and joined the literacy club with Takasugi and Zura instead...". 

"...Was that any better?" 

"Hell yeah it was. We'd gather 'round, eat lunch and play video games when there were no club activities". 

"Then it's not a literacy club anymore...". 

"We'd still read books 'n' stuff and...I even wrote a few stories in that clubroom. Then after high school I sorta went back to sketching 'cause I didn't go to college, and I had lots of free time when I wasn't working. Made a sketchbook and everything". 

A sketchbook. Those words left his lips so casually; left out like bait for Hijikata to follow as his interests peaked further. The topic had swiftly moved on from distant, insignifcant, happy memories to something equally interesting, but this was something Hijikata could physically see for himself. Gintoki, with his glass of warm milk and cookies, leaned his rear against the counter and sipped with a pleased expression before taking a huge gulp and a satisfied lick of his lips. He dipped the cookies in the warm liquid, casually ignoring the slight hint of eagerness and interest in Hijikata's expression. 

"Mmh...Oh my god that's good...". Gintoki moaned, munching on a cookie covered in milk. He had dropped his topic, too, but Hijikata wanted to pick it up again so badly. 

"You, uh...You had a sketchbook?" 

"Had? I still have it, somewhere. You can look if you want". So casual...So unaware of how exciting that concept really was to Hijikata.

"Wait. Seriously? I can...see it?" 

"If I find it: sure. I think I stored it in the spare room when I first moved in here. I kept it in the closet...There's a buncha drawings in there, although it's mostly portraits". 

"Wow...". 

"...You really wanna see them?" 

"Yeah, I really do. I could never have imagined you as a sketch artist but...I expect good things. If you're boasting over nothing then-". 

"Oi, one: I'm not boasting. Two: I can sketch, y'know. Nearly broke my fingers in middle school when I joined the art club. By the end of each session they would be red raw and aching like I had slammed a hammer from wood-work onto each one". 

"Sounds like you tried too hard in the art club". 

"And that's why I quit. I didn't like being forced to work. Got sick of it. So I self-taught after high school and just got better and better after taking my time. Since I became an author, I don't sketch as often anymore, but I might get back into it when I have free time". 

So never. With the novel he was currently writing, Gintoki never had free time. So Hijikata would never witness Gintoki with a sketpad in his arms and a pencil between his fingers. Such a shame... 

"Is it alright if I see the sketchbook right now? Unless you have to go looking for it...". 

"Nah, I'll find it. I don't think I would pile a buncha crap on top of it if I stored it away. Why don't you take our mugs of milk and the cookies into the bedroom while I go find the sketchbook? I've never shown my work to anyone before, so consider yourself lucky". 

Hijikata honestly felt lucky. Gintoki never spoke about his hobbies, excluding his hobby of watching Ana Ketsuno's weather forecast and writing best-selling novels. Sketching was what he did for fun, apparently. It wasn't work, it wasn't forced, it was for pleasure. Because he claimed to sketch rarely, Hijikata had a feeling that that sketchbook was not yet full. He composed himself, eager to see what kind of hidden talent Gintoki had within the pages of a different kind of book. This conversation would continue in the bedroom over cookies and warm milk that, hopefully, wouldn't run cold by the time he got back. How talented was Gintoki? Hijikata would find out for himself, hoping it wasn't a complete flop and that Gintoki wasn't as talented as he implied. He hoped his excitement wasn't going to be for nothing 

... 

Hijikata sipped from his mug, listening to the rain patter against the window without any sign of calming down. He waited patiently for Gintoki to come back up to the room with this sketchbook under his arm, containing his work. That image in Hijikata's head soon became reality when he saw the bedroom door open. Gintoki stepped on in with this huge, flat sketchbook under his arm. He very quietly shut the door and walked over to the bed, tossing the sketchbook in front of Hijikata while he switched on the two lamps on the end tables, connected by the same switch. There came the flash of light, dim but bright enough to see the cover of this sketchbook up close. The cover was a dark red leather, the spine skinny and patterned with thread that held the whole thing together. Gintoki parked his rear comfortably beside Hijikata with his legs crossed over eachother. 

"Alright, here she is. I haven't picked this thing up in months, so don't make faces if some of the drawings are faded or smudged, okay?" 

"Okay...Okay, sure...". 

Gintoki ran his fingers over the wide, flat cover, brushing off any dust leftover from months of storage. He cleared his throat before carefully opening up to the very first page. The first sketch held on the very first page was a potted flower. It's breed was unrecognisable to Hijikata as there was no colour, just very intricate shading. Overall...It was a beautiful picture. 

"I, uh...I sketched this about a week after I got this sketchbook. I was working a part-time job at the time so I never really got a chance until the following Sunday. Katsura kept this flower since we didn't let him get a cat or a puppy. It's...I think it's called an anemone flower". 

"Wow...I'm genuinally impressed by this". 

"Really? Hah. Glad to see you don't think I'm totally useless". 

"I don't". Hijikata sudden urge to answer left Gintoki feeling surprised. Their eyes met and there was this pause before Hijikata got up the courage to speak and clarify what he said to be...the truth. "I...I don't think you're...useless, Gintoki...". 

Hijikata's heart skipped a very subtle beat when a smile drifted onto Gintoki's lips. The man shook his head, looking back to his sketchbook to turn the page. He seemed happy to hear that...And he was, honestly. 

The next page held two pictures; two portraits that Hijikata recognised almost immediatly. 

"Is that...?" 

"Yep. That's Zura and Takasugi...". 

The first was of Katsura. The drawing was very detailed, depicting every little thing about Katsura, as well as the background. Katsura's hair was down, shaded a certain way to depict damp, dripping hair. A towel, fluffy and also damp, was sketched over his shoulders, his back facing the "artist" who drew this. Gintoki explained that he had come out of the shower-clothed-but with his hair still wet. The second picture, beside it on the right, was of Shinsuke Takasugi. He was sitting on what appeared to be a wide window ledge with pillows at its corners and the rain pouring behind him. With one leg tucked against his chest and an aloof expression crossed over his face, both eyes uncovered and shining in this particular portrait, there was no doubt he could be described as being handsome. A cigarette was between his lips, lit and smoking in a still image. Both portraits were almost shocking well-done and...just beautiful. 

"How old were you here?" 

"Mmm...Well, I remember they had come back for summer break so this was during college and university for them. I'd say we were...eighteen, nineteen years old then". 

"...". They were amazing. Nothing short of amazing...Hijikata wished to say so, exaggerating every last compliment, but he felt shy to do so. He had already sucked Gintoki's dick physically, and he didn't wish to cross a line by doing so with words. 

Turning over the pages led to more intricate artwork ranging from flowers to one or two landscapes to many portraits. One that stood out was of a young woman, perhaps eighteen or nineteen years old, sketched somewhere in the center of this book. Her back faced Gintoki when drawn, an apron around his waist, a side profile of her face shown. She was carrying a coffee jug, her hair tied up in a braid. Who was she? That was the main question here. Who exactly was this girl? 

"I used to work with her...". Without asking, Gintoki answered Hijikata's question for him. "Back when Zura, Takasugi and I all shared the same place, I worked at this small coffee place in town with this girl. Her name was Akane and...I guess I liked her for a while. She was pretty and sweet as the mochi ice-cream she made from scratch. So, one day, when the shop was closed I asked if I could draw her and...the rest is history". 

No more to it than that? In the end, she was his model not a person of romantic or sexual interest. Frankly, Hijikata felt relieved. Gintoki had mentioned before that Hijikata was the person person he had ever dated, and this was long before they even met. However, there was this slight sense of relief that his model was not someone he had had a close, intimate relationship with. Onto the next page and... 

"...". 

"...". 

Hijikata froze. Gintoki was far more casual and aloof about it. They both stared at the next page feeling totally different about it. Hijikata's cheeks warmed up, and he wished to look away but couldn't. The very next picture depicted the same girl...Although this time she was sprawled out across a bed matress with the coverlet creased and messy. Her hair was still braided, her apron gone. In fact, she wasn't wearing anything in this sketch. Her tiny breats were exposed, as well as this scar cut across his side. Hijikata assumed that it was a scar, considering the detail put into it. Not much else was revealed as it was hidden behind the puffed-up coverlet, but it was clear that she was naked. She hid some of her face behind her arm, which she rested her head upon like a pillow, looking up directly towards Gintoki with this shaded blush across her cheeks. 

Looking at this, there would obviously be some sort of uncomfortability, and Gintoki could sense it as well just by looking at Hijikata's face. Looking at this drawing, it gave off a similar feeling to looking through a "family" album with the person you're currently going out with, only to find very happy and intimate pictures of you and an ex-lover. Now Hijikata could only ponder if this girl was simply a model anymore. 

"I talked to this girl frequently at work...". Gintoki began, carressing his thumb over the corner of his sketch. "She was really kind and we got on pretty well...She didn't have a lot of self-confidence, though. Humans naturally enjoy being told that their beautiful-this is fact, for anyone. But it can be hard to tell when someone is being honest. I was being honest with her. When she got embarrassed and told me to stop joking around I said I could prove it". And the rest was history, right? 

"So you drew her...like this?" 

"Pretty much. She was reluctant at first for fairly normal reasons, but also because she had this scar...This one right here...that apparently made her feel ashamed about exposing her body because it looked and felt like leather. She was afraid I would be disgusted if I saw it, but I was pretty persistent about it. When I did draw her she looked at the picture, then at me and said "is that really me?" I jus' smiled and said "yeah, it is". She was pretty happy...". 

"...". 

"Now...I'm not gonna hide the fact that I slept with her. We saw eachother a couple times before she moved on to start college in Nagoya, but it was worth it knowing I gave her a confidence boost. She was grateful, but didn't want to see me as anything more than a good friend that helped her out. Not that I minded, 'cause she could do better than to date a guy like me. I wasn't even interested in having a girlfriend in the first place so it was a win-win situation, if you think about it". 

Gintoki had never had a serious relationship. What he had with this girl was brief and pleasant, but not at all serious. The same went on for the several other sketches of half-naked women drawn with such detail that the beauty was unmatched. Did he have a fling with them too? The thought was tense, and it made Hijikata feel tense. 

"I sound like scum, but I didn't intend to start a relationship with these women. And I'm not embarrassed 'bout the drawings. The outer layer can be pretty, but when you tear it open and see everything else then you can see true beauty...true art...That's how I feel, anyway". 

"...". 

Hijikata's eyes were affixed to these drawings. He looked over every detail, and the embarrassment faded away. Gintoki could sense the tension radiating from Hijikata, even when reaching a dead-end in the drawing, as well as twenty, or so, blank pages. There was a skip in Hijikata's heartbeat when Gintoki leaned in a little closer, resting his chin on his shoulder. Curiosity sparked in Gintoki's mind, a smile crossed his lips after licking them. 

"Hijikata...". He whispered, feeling Hijikata's warm, sweetened breath cross his forehead and lace through his hair. "Would you...Would you like me to sketch you one day? Like this?" 

"...". Hijikata swallowed, clecnhing his fists around the material of his sweatpants anxiously. "I...". He couldn't speak. He struggled to answer, despite having a hunch that such a question would pass through Gintoki's curved lips. 

"You can say no, if you want. I won't force ya, but...It'd feel more special, wouldn't it? After all, we're going out, we like eachother and...It'd be the first time I've ever drawn another man in such an intimate way. Because I pretty much know you inside and out, it could potentially have more meaning to it...Whether you have your clothes on or not...So, what do you say?" 

Would it have more meaning behind it? Being in this relationship, sharing mutal feelings...If Hijikata allowed Gintoki to sketch him, clothed or bare, would it feel special? There was his shyness and reluctance to he drawn like these women, but there was also some thrill in that. Knowing that Gintoki was looking at him in a certain way, sketching that on paper to be preserved forever...He was honestly lost at the idea, but he didn't want to say no...

"...Maybe...I'll let you. But I'd rather wear clothing than be...". 

"Really? You'll let me?" 

"I said maybe. It's not set in stone...". 

"That makes me happy, knowing you wanna be put in my sketchbook". Gintoki kissed Hijikata's cheek several times in brief pecks. The skin flustered, and Hijikata grew agitated. 

"D-didn't you hear me?! I said-...Forget it...". 

"Thank you~. I promise you'll look as beautiful as you do now~". Gintoki nuzzled the tip of his nose to Hijikata's cheek, almost teasing him. This provoked the tsundere persona of Hijikata to come out and bite. 

"I get it already! And don't try to flatter me like that! It's weird!" 

"How rude. I'm not tryin' to flatter you, Hijikata. You are beautiful...". 

"...!" With that kind of smirk...There was no way Gintoki was trying to be smooth or flattering. He was being totally honest and it pissed Hijikata off. It really pissed him off. "A-anyway, have you almost...finished your beverage? We should get to sleep, so...". 

"Are you kidding? Seeing you get all flustered like that, I'm wide awake". 

"H-huh...?!" So the warm milk was for nothing?! Was it the cookies? Was it the sugar in the cookies that kept him awake?! 

"Why don't we just...y'know, talk? That's what we usually do late at night". 

"Yeah, but...". 

"Don't you like it when we just talk instead of fighting all the time? We can talk about anything until we're both tired enough to fall asleep. C'mon~, it'll be fun". 

Hijikata could admit that there was fun in their conversarions that didn't involve fights or petty disagreements. When it was only about them and no one else, the atmosphere was nice and simple. They could smile about the little things rather than getting into one, big fight over nothing in front of anyone who passed them by on the street. Come to think of it, when was the last time they fought in public? Like, really fought? Yelling their lungs out, nearly starting a brawl in the middle of town, spouting threats that somehow managed to fall through even after getting eachother riled up. Now they just...talked, and held hands in the same bed. They cuddled up, kissed. When exactly did things tone down so much? In the beginning? Sometime in summer? And the way Gintoki looked at Hijikata now, how he spoke to him...He said that Hijikata was...beautiful...and, honestly, he meant it. 

... 

For the second time, Gintoki ditched Hijikata's hoodie for comfort purposes, crawling into bed with him to start this period of talking before bedtime. Hijikata was clearly in the right mind to fall alseep, but having Gintoki beside him, fully awake, he was incapable of doing so. Thus he went along with just...talking.

"So, what do you wanna talk about?" Hijikata asked this, sliding into bed comfortably. 

"Uhm...". Gintoki pondered, hugging one of his pillows, snuggling his face into the soft cushion as he gave this some serious thought. "I dunno...Um, how's work been?" 

"Seriously? The first week I'm put on patrol duty instead of the bigger cases and you wanna know how work is?" 

"Alright, cut the attitude...". 

"It won't be as taxing, I can say that. I'll have more time in the evenings so...I suppose if you want, we could go on a few dates this week. I was gonna ask you in the morning but...". 

"Oh, so you'll be free every evening for the whole week...Awesome...". Gintoki was already jumping the gun, planning out the whole week in his head. Hijikata didn't want anything perverted to be prowling around in his dirty mind. "Since you're still working, it'll be nice if I cooked for you sometimes. We don't always have to go out. We can just stay inside and you can eat my amazing cooking again". 

"Hah...". So he wasn't thinking of anything dirty. Slap on the wrist to Hijikata for assuming such a thing. "You're exaggerating...You're good in the kitchen, but I wouldn't go as far as to say...amazing". 

"Rude. I say really nice things about your cooking". 

"Yeah, but it seems like you're more grateful that I didn't add any mayo-and that's your loss". 

"O-kay...Sure...". Gintoki was smiling, gazing at Hijikata only to receive a weird look for it. 

"Wh-what's up?" 

"No-thin'. I was just thinking that this is pretty fun". 

"I guess. If I wasn't so tired, it might be more fun but this is nice, once in a while. Just us...talking...". 

"Mm...Hey, I'm curious: is there anything I don't know about you yet?" 

"Pardon...?" 

"Is there anything I don't know about you yet? Like, um...Fuck it, I'll ask a random question. What kinda candy did you like when you were a kid?" 

"That is kinda random. I'm on the spot 'cause I didn't eat a lot of candy". 

"Me neither, but was there anything that you really liked? To this day, I think my favourite japanese snack is Pocky". 

"Umm...Geez, I don't really remember. Even now I don't really eat candy...". 

"In that case, I'll buy a bunch of candy in and you can try some, see what you like-without mayo". Hijikata clicked his tongue. He actually clicked his tongue when Gintoki denied him of his favourite food being poured on candy. 

"I suppose I liked mochi as a kid, whenever I did actually have it. My Mom would buy some, on occassion, and we'd share it. I think...I think vanilla ice-cream mochi was my favourite". 

"Strawberry's way better. Hands down". 

"You're saying that because you love strawberries. Don't shit on other people's preferences". 

"I'm not shitting on other people's likes. Really. But, you're right: I fuckin' love strawberries and strawberry-based candy". 

"Is there any candy you don't like?" 

"Mm...Sour candy. I can't stand anything sour. Zura used to eat Warheads and he would nag me to try one. Bastard kept giving me a yellow one when I didn't know those were the worst ones". 

"I'm not a fan of sour things, either". At least they agreed on something about candy preferences. 

This was their conversation, in the beginning. And it rolled on into something more, continuing to sprout more topics as they went. And soon enough they lost track of time and the concept of just talking, like this, had become more and more fun. 

... 

The sound of the rain must have woken him up. Hm? When did he...When did Takasugi fall asleep? He remembered lying on the sofa with Bansai and then...He sighed. It didn't take too long to realise that he was now in bed, cuddling up with the usual "big spoon" of the relationship because Takasugi was too damn short to be big spoon. Bansai had carried him there. He was carried into bed, and Bansai cuddled with him to keep him warm during this particularly chilly evening. No arguments. It was comfty. And it also didn't take him a long time to notice that their hands were clasped together, their fingers locked.

Bansai was never the affectionate type. Never having gotten so close to him when they first met, he couldn't be sure. As they did become closer, Takasugi learned of this brat's lack of experience. Not that Takasugi had a lot to boast about either. Did he prefer things this way? In a way, yes. He enjoyed the comforting embrace of...a lover. That's what they were now, right? This was no "close friendship" anymore. No use pretending or hiding it. If they refered to eachother as lovers...Would it be the worst thing in the world? Or maybe they should simply refer to eachother as..."Bansai" and "Shinsuke", like always. A label was not needed...right? 

Shifting and some adjusting in the sheets occured, and it was clear that Bansai had woken up, especially when he placed kisses on the nape of Takasugi's neck. Somehow that managed to provoke a smirk. Not in a mockin way of course. Perhaps more out of embarrassment without blushing. Takasugi even managed a very content sigh. 

"It's still late, y'know...". Takasugi muttered, stretching out his fingers within Bansai's grasp before relaxing them again. 

"Did I wake you?" 

"No...The sound of the rain did, but there's nothing to be done about that...It's...Haah, you're surprisingly warm...". 

"Are you comfortable with it?" 

"Mm-hm. Didn't think being the...little...spoon...". Saying that out loud was degrading, but what's done is done. "...would be so cosy. And I am comfortable, Bansai, so thank you". 

"I'm glad...". Bansai didn't say so out loud, but he was glad that Takasugi didn't have any nightmares while like this. He was comfortable and that's what mattered to him. 

"Hey, Bansai...". 

"Yes, Shinsuke?" 

"Are we-...? Haah...Are we still..."close friends", or...". 

"I thought, by now, we were considered lovers". 

It was baffling to hear out loud, muttered fairly closely to his ear while Bansai held him like this. And Takasugi didn't necessarily disagree with that. 

"I...I suppose". 

"...It may seem unusal for two men, but that's the way I see it, I daresay. In fact, in this day and age, it's not that unusual, is it?" Not anymore... "If I'm imposing, then you can say so. But I do feel that we're close enough to be considered lovers. Don't you think?" 

"...". Takasugi wasn't embarrassed. He was simply taken aback by how forward and how eager Bansai appeared to be about the concept of being lovers instead of just good friends. And it seemed so unlike him. "I don't really mind. But it's strange to see you so forward. When we first met you were...". 

"A lot has changed, Shinsuke". In the midst of Takasugi's pause, Bansai stepped back in, now squeezing Takasugi's hand. "I'm a little different from when we first met. I find myself treating you quite gently and I enjoy spending time with you, moreso than before, I daresay. Of course, I always cherished you as a friend and I appreciated our times together, but now it's much more intimate and...I can't help but grow accustomed to it". 

Bansai was so serious. But the way he spoke of this subject in particular, he was passionate about it as well. He was passionate about...Takasugi, and their relationship now. And how did Takasugi feel about all of this? Honestly? 

"...I...I always get so attached to the past that I find it hard to face forward...". 

"...". 

"I've never had a lover before, because I always thought that things like romance was petty, but...This isn't petty, huh? It's...real and...Hah, I really don't know what to say other than...Okay. I think I can accept you as more than a friend, after all of this. We're...lovers". 

"Shinsuke...". Takasugi could sense a smile. The faintest, most sincere smile curved across Bansai's lips, and he hugged Takasugi a little tighter. "I'm...really glad". 

"I think I am too. Treat me well, okay? I'll do the same for you". 

"Of course. I wouldn't treat you with anything other than respect and care". 

That was obvious. Nothing had felt any different from when they were friends, but perhaps it didn't need to. This was what it was like to have a real relationship, and with a man to boot. So, what, were they a couple now? Tch, no shit. They were...lovers. A mutal agreement had been decided in the same bed, under the sheets with Bansai playing the big spoon, as per usual. Quite a comfortable position to be in for an awkward and brief discussion. Yes, Takasugi had never had a lover before. Bansai was his first, and vise versa. So what happens next? When does the feeling really kick in? He didn't know. This was his first time. And, most likely, due to the trust he had for Bansai and how close they were in the first place...This would be his first and his only lover... 

... 

"So then...She approuches me with her baby in her arms and I know I can't move because if I try to leave, I'll look like an asshole in front of everyone...". 

At some point, at around midnight, Hijikata had began telling this story from work that one of his co-workers had been on maternity leave. She had apparently come back after having her baby, while still on paid leave, to show him off the everyone. Smoking a cigarette, this late at night, Hijikata continued on with his story as Gintoki listened intently, anticipating the events which Hijikata was steadily building up to bashfully. 

"So she comes towards me, everyone crowds around and before I knew it...". 

"You were holding the kid...?" 

"I...had to hold the kid. Yeah...". Gintoki held back snickering, laying his head down on the pillow, raring to ask what it was like. "It was probably the most uncomfortable I've ever been since our first time sleeping together. It was awkward, I didn't want to hurt the kid, but I didn't have much choice. It was either look awkward or act like an asshole". 

"And you're supposed to be a demon at your workplace". 

"Yeah, well...Since Sougo decided to take a picture, I don't think I'll keep up that appearance as "Demonic Vice-Commander" for much longer". 

A giddy feeling arose in Gintoki's stomach, and his smile as he pictured Hijikata holding a baby uncomfortably; although Hijikata was the uncomfortable one. It was amusing. Thoroughly amusing. 

"I would be the same, sorta". Gintoki admitted this with a smile and a shrug when Hijikata looked his way, curiously. "I'm not...shy about holding babies-not that I have ever held one in my arms-but...I would be uncomfortable. It's always the risk of making them cry and scream in your face 'cause you didn't hold them properly that makes you wanna back off, y'know? I can't handle kids the way their mother does. I can't coax 'em to sleep or speak...baby-talk, so...". 

"Me neither...". 

"Yeah, if it's a friend or co-worker's kid". 

"Meaning what, exactly?" 

Hijikata flashed this puzzled look whereas Gintoki rolled his eyes and showed a more suggestive expression. 

"Y'know...I can picture you comfortably holding your own kid". 

"Uh, my what? Where did this come from?" 

"What? I can see you bein' a dad. You have that sorta air around you, especially when you're out of your uniform and you put on a sweater and jeans instead. I can picture you going to festivals with them and...teaching them how to play catch or...Or whatever dads do for their kids". 

"I wouldn't know either. I don't think about that stuff...". 

Gintoki had brought this up out of the blue, and it seemed to Hijikata that he had actually thought about this stuff, about Hijikata playing the role of dad for however many brats he could potentially raise. Not that there was a long list of memories already made up for him. Gintoki couldn't have thought about it that much. Perhaps for only a moment. Only a moment... 

"I...I don't think about that stuff, Gintoki". Hijikata spoke again after a pause, crushing his cigarette into the ashtray next to him. "But...I did think about it once, for only a moment...". 

"Thought about what?" 

"You know...Kids, a wife, a family. I thought about it for a second...What the children would look like, what kind of kids they would be...". 

"Did any of 'em have V-shaped hair?" 

"Oi, this is my story not yours". Gintoki backed-off, concealing a chuckle. Hijikata proceeded on. And as he spoke about it with a smile of nostalgia, he ended up in a little world of his own, once created for a single moment of his life before...Before... "I imagined coming home from work to be greeted by them and we'd all stay in the children's room to read stories before they fell asleep...All of that was crammed into the span of five minutes while I was sitting in my college dorm with Kondo-san...". 

Hijikata's words trailed off into silence. He was no longer smiling. A long sigh escaped him. For a moment, Gintoki thought he would break down or start shaking, as though he was about to cry. Nothing of the sort came to pass as Hijikata nodded to himself with an intake of breath. The story was brushed off, and then, somehow, he managed to continue. 

"Those faces...They don't exist anymore. The truth is that...family doesn't suit me. It's something someone else is suited to have, not me. I...I only thought about it once, and after that, nothing. When...When Mitsuba...died, I never thought about stuff like that ever again. It's not in the cards for me, because that's my choice...Wow, hah...That went to a place I didn't want it to go...Sorry". 

"...It's okay". It felt like... "Don't apologise for something like that". Like Hijikata was...forcing himself... "You don't have to say anymore". Forcing himself to talk about it...To talk about Mitsuba... "I don't think about that stuff either, but...It doesn't sound too bad. Having something to call your own...A family...But who's to say you need kids or a spouse to have a family? If two strangers meet and slowly become closer, can't you consider them as a family of some sort?" Gintoki was trying to...cheer him up. "It doesn't matter if the portraits don't have faces now, Hijikata...One day, they will...Whether you have kids or just a few close friends in the picture...It's still yours. It's your family...".

Gintoki offered a very faint but very kind and warm smile. He proceeded to sit up on his elbows, scootching over by Hijikata's side. Ignoring the thick smell of cigarettes, he cupped and caressed Hijikata's cheek as leverage for a kiss at the very corner of those lips. He wanted to avoid the taste of smoke, but at the same time he wanted to show affection. It resulted in more kisses around Hijikata's cheek and his forehead. And all the while Hijikata wondered just how lucky he was. The picture in his mind, the portraits...All empty, and for the longest time. But what he had now was kept in a smaller picture frame, crowded and crammed together. He could see all the faces within his mind's eye...including... 

"...!" 

Gintoki, when decided to straddle Hijikata for more kisses, jittered as soon as Hijikata put his hands on his bare sides. Obviously, there was a brief pause. Hijikata stared up at Gintoki, who was looking away with this frustrated look-aimed moreso at himself than at Hijikata for, apparently, coming across a sensitive spot: his bare naked sides. 

"Gintoki, are you-". 

"No, don't say it. Don't even think about it. I am not..."that", alright? N-now, get your hands off, ya perv'...". 

"Who's the pervert?" 

"You are, obviously, you-uwah!" Gintoki tensed up so suddenly when Hijikata cheekily tickled his fingertips over Gintoki's sides. The reaction was so out of character... "You bastard...Don't tickle me! You wanna die-ah! Ha! Haha! N-no! Hijikata!" 

Gintoki hunched over with every little attack on his sides. Without the reflexes or energy, Hijikata was able to experiment with his fingers, running them around the sensitive skin, flexing them rapidly up and down until Gintoki collapsed on his side, rolling over to try and get away. But Hijikata caught up, cuddlig hs from the back while tickling restlessly. 

"N-no! Hijikata! S-stop! Ha! Hahaha! Hah! Hah! S-seriou-ah! I'm gonna-...! Haha! Hahaha!" 

Gintoki's legs and toes curled up until his body was in a fetal position. But Hijikata's hands and fingers remained his reach. He didn't say anything mocking, but simply enjoyed the moment as a distraction from the previius conversation that left him in blank state of mind. This...This was fun, teasing Gintoki for once. 

"Nng! N-noo! Hahaha! I'm gonna pee! Ss-stop! Seriously! I'll piss myself! Ahaha! I'll ki-I'll kill you if you don-nnnnh! Stop iiit! Haah...Haaah...Hah...!". 

Hijikata did, eventually, show some mercy. He lay off on the tickling. Instead he resorted to cuddling and kissing the nape of Gintoki's neck, which wasn't so sensitive. Everything was quiet for a minute or so, with only the sound of Gintoki's heavy breathing resonating in Hijikata's ears like a slow rhythm. The silence did eventually come, but was more tense around the atmosphere than Hijikata expected. And when Gintoki wrapped his fingers around one of Hijikata's hands, that't when things took off, and reverted back. 

"Hijikata...You know that you don't have to talk about it, right? About...Mitsuba. You know I wouldn't force you, as much as it's nice to hear you open up. I don't wanna give you sympathy or coddle you...I...prefer seeing you smile, actually. It doesn't bother me to hear you mention her, it bothers me to think that you're dragging yourself through past pain by talking about it so lightly. Open up. But if it's something too painful for you to bear alone, then be patient, wait for when you're...Haah, I'm probably not helping, am I-". 

"N-no, don't say that. You are...But, Gintoki, you should know that...If I wasn't comfortable talking about it, then I wouldn't mention her at all". Hijikata locked fingers with Gintoki's securely, perhaps without knowing it himself. "I'm just sharing stories and memories with you...That's all they are, and...I want to share them with you. I wanna talk about her like an old family member. Right now, it's people like Kondo-san, Saito, Yamazaki, even Sougo...They're family and, well...". Hijikata squeezed Gintoki tighter in a warm, radiant hug, refusing to let go. "I...kinda consider you as family, too...". 

Hijikata didn't give a reason. Honestly, did he have to give one right now? In his mind, he considered Gintoki as being someone special in his life. There were many people who he saw as being special to him, but there was something about their relationship, and the closeness that brought this certain feeling deep down, a feeling that told Hijikata to treat Gintoki like family. And, in a way, he was. Perhaps not in the same way as a usual, domestic family that cuddle up together on the sofa to happily watch television, or greet eachother at the door when one says "dinner's nearly ready, take off your shoes". Their relationship wasn't as cosy. More content and close, but not at all "lovey-dovey" with nose kisses and sunshine and rainbows. No such thing existed with real families, after all. What they had was so much more real... 

"I see...Hm, that's funny...You're like family to me, too. If you wanna talk about her, I won't stop you. She was family to you, and I'm sure you...miss her, but...I don't like seeing such a pained look on your face. Smile...".

Gintoki's hand was hot and soft when caressing Hijikata's cheek, his thumb sliding smoothly across supple, smooth skin. In the few moments when their eyes had met and a smile was shared, some awkward laughter surfacing due to the silence, Hijikata found himself brushing back Gintoki's hair, pushing the strands away. Sweat beads trickled around Hijikata's fingers, and the heat radiating from Gintoki's face was unexpected. 

"You're all hot and sweaty...". 

"Duh, you nearly tickled me to death". 

"To death...?" 

"Yeah...I could barely breathe. Haah...And there's no way I'll get to sleep like this". 

Gintoki's head fell back, and his smile vanished as fast as the comfty scene from seconds before. Not that they minded. What's done is done. Hijikata moved off of Gintoki, seeing as he was flustered from all the tickling and was in need of a shower. 

"Go wash up. I'll grab a change of clothes for you". 

"Okay...Sure, sure. I'll just have a shower, since I've already bathed today. I won't take too long, so don't fall asleep without me". 

Gintoki sat up, although he appeared physically weak and exhausted from playing around with another grown man. The morning was on its way, nearing one o'clock already. Staying up any later than two and their bodies would surely give in. Hijikata watched as Gintoki entered the bathroom, shutting the door just a little while leaving it ajar and allowing the light from inside to glow through the crack. That was Hijikata's cue to stand up and pick out an appropriate change of clothes. Gintoki's mutal feelings from before...about how Hijikata was family to him, was warming. It was heart-warming, but when thinking about it he didn't mean for Gintoki to say everything else before that. He didn't want Gintoki to think that he was still in pain... In the midst of this feeling, he froze with a piece of clothing between his fingers and a dozen other clothing pieces stacked over his arm. He didn't mean for Gintoki to say everything else... He couldn't shake it from his mind, but still proceeded to pick out clothes like it was nothing. Hijikata had no intent to tread backwards. Instead he...wished only to move forward. 

... 

Steam had filled the room; a light fog drifting around the room, clouding up the mirros and the shower walls. Gintoki had entered under the shower head as soon as the chill around the bathroom struck him. He was exposed, still cold, still rubbing his arms to rid himself of such a low body temperature under hot water. Behind him the bathroom door creaked open, echoing louder than the pitter-patter of water rapidly falling from the shower head. Turning his head, Gintoki somehow managed to meet Hijikata's gaze and smiled in thanks when spotting the set of clothes draped over his arm. 

"I brought you clothes". Hijikata's voice was muffled by the sound of the relentless shower, the steam and water clouding Gintoki's senses. He set the clothing down in a neat pile on a counter top beside the shower, leveling out the creases out of habit. 

"Ah, thanks...". Gintoki raised his voice enough for Hijikata to catch what he said. And it was expected of Hijikata to swiftly head back into the bedroom, but he lingered around and had this glum expression that raised some concern, as it normally did. "What's wrong?"

"I, uh...". 

"Come on, we just discussed opening up. What's uo?" 

To leave things as they were...Hijikata knew more than most that that leaves a gap between two people. To keep things to yourself, to hide away your thoughts when something's bothering you...By now, he knew not to do that, not to Gintoki. This wasn't like back then. This was now and this was...Gintoki. 

"I didn't mean for you to say those things. And I didn't mean to give off the impression that I was hurting when talking about my past. So I'm sorry if I made you worry. I'll...admit that it feels foreign, talking about even the smallest things after so much happened between me and...her. But I want to talk about it, and I want to talk about it with you because you're person I'm dating, and you're one of the most important people to me right now. So...Haa...Blame it on the sleep-deprivation for my rambling but...I had to get that off my chest". 

Gintoki was honestly stunned. His expression was a picture; a picture Hijikata refused to look directly at while feeling this shy. Gintoki cracked a smile soon enough. 

"Wow...I feel like I got a pretty big confession there". 

"I...suppose. Just know that I'm looking only at you when I talk about my past. That should be enough to clarify just how much I...ca-...care about you...I even said you're like family, but in a more intimate and romatic way...". 

"Hm...C'mere". 

"Huh...?" 

"I said c'mere". Gintoki was softly spoken, gently taking Hijikata's hands. Being pulled into the shower fully clothed wasn't the most pleasant experience, as it was similar to beijg caught in a hot rainstorm somewhere in Hawaii or the U.S. But the experience of being totally drenched wasn't all bad, as the warmth of Gintoki's arms wrapped around his drenched body, squeezing the water rings from his shirt, was pleasant in a sense. "You're too sweet tonight, you know that?" 

"How so...?" 

"Well, for starters you made me sweetened tea, warm milk, you put up with having to converse with me despite being exhausted and...Well, there's this. You really stick your neck out and put my feelings before your own. Everything with Kintoki, Tsukuyo and Sarutobi, my birthday...You've been there one way or another. I'm happy, but this isn't a one-sided relationship, y'know. We both have to work at it, because...I care about you, too". 

Gintoki spoke these words without looking Hijikata in the eyes. Under the rapidly running water, neither could look up and face eachother without being blinded. Thus Hijikata had an excuse to bury his face into the crook of Gintoki's neck, running his fingers through damp, knotted hair. 

"Sorry 'bout that. You're all wet". Gintoki could have apologised sooner, but this was not important. When pulling away from Gintoki's hug, just a little, Hijikata's cheeks were cupped and his hair was pushed back out of his face. "Wow...Even when totally drenched, you're still handsome. I would be jealous, but I'm sexy anyway, so...". 

Provoking slight laughter from Hijikata sent Gintoki's heart racing. A little awkward laughter was shared when Gintoki clarified that he was being serious, although his smile said otherwise. With their hearts feeling lighter, and the tension from before nothing but a memory vanishing into the distance of their minds, their smiles grew faint. 

"Let me work at it too, Hijikata. The foundation of any relationship should be held together by two people, so that it's sturdy and it won't fall apart so easily. I'll do whatever I can for us, 'cause when it all comes down to it I'm still new to this stuff". 

"I don't see why you should do anything. You've already done enough...". 

"What do you mean?" 

"...No-...It's nothing". 

Putting aside the aspects of opening up, Hijikata wasn't ready to tell Gintoki that...He's the reason Hijikata could open up about anything anymore. To give Hijikata this feeling again, this wonderful, wonderful feeling, Gintoki had already done enough. What this feeling was...He could only find certain words to describe it; intense, warm, light-hearted, comforting...Those little feelings overlapped like a series of incredibly soft blankets, embracing him one by one. But he wasn't facing these sensations with open arms. To not say it out loud, he was backing away from them, putting them aside. What this feeling was...It was almost new. A sense of nostalgia lingered, but this was different. Looking at Gintoki's face, Hijikata's heart was racing for him, his fingertips felt numb because of him, he...He was only looking at him, at Gintoki. 

An arm, Gintoki's arm, hung around Hijikata's shoulders and his hand laced through dark locks, thick and tough around his fingers. Absoloutely no time to think or to breathe, Hijikata was pulled in for a kiss at a very short distance. A blank state was left in his mind, his cheeks hot from both excitement and nervousness. Fortunately both Hijikata and Gintoki had registered the situation quick enough to stop themselves from getting too excited. Their lips smacked for two seconds before both men backed off. 

"Ah...Suppose we shouldn't...". Gintoki mumbled. "We're both pretty tired and...Kagura's right next door. A round in the shower isn't exactly ideal, huh?" 

"...". 

Every loose strand of soaking wet hair was shifted away from Hijikata's face, droplets of water dripping from those loose strands, his nose and his chin. Smiling in his presence, Gintoki brought him back for another, harmless kiss. With the water sliding down their faces, their lips smacked together softly. The scent of shampoo often lingering in Gintoki's pillows was almost intoxicating, and it was easy to be excited or aroused by it in such an intimate situation. But the kisses and the caressing was nothing short of harmless and simply romantic. And as well as the breath-taking aroma of shampoo and eachother's natural, sweet, otherwise musky, scent, these new feelings lingered at the very core of Hijikata's stomach where it fluttered around pleasantly, like butterflies. And it remained that way for the time that they spent like this, under the shower head and underneath the rapidly running water, in eachother's arms. 

... 

A change of clothes was refreshing. Being under the warm, cosy sheets of the bed was relaxing. And being the one in Gintoki's arms was pleasant. Once again they found themselves engulfed in the odd small-talk or conversation. And by that time neither could hear the rain storm outside. It was quiet, and still. And for a moment in total silence, Gintoki had gotten lost in a world of his own, staring up at the ceiling while idly petting Hijikata's hair. 

"What's on your mind?" Hijikata asked, raising his head from the space between Gintoki's neck and shoulder. 

"Hm? What was that...?" 

"It's-...Nothing, just...You're spacing out a little. Going quiet there...". 

"Hm...Sorry 'bout that. I am tired, Hijikata. I don't have a lot of energy". 

"Right...Sorry...". 

"No, don't apologise. Although...I was kinda thinking about what you said, about family...". 

"Which part?" 

"All of it, like your 'ideal image" and...I know it sounds stupid but...It won't be too long before those kids of mine leave the nest". 

"Yeah, I suppose...". 

"I dunno what that'll be like. I mean, I got used to being alone when I was kid, before I met Granny and after I moved out of her place. It always seemed better off that way until I met those kids. It'll be pretty boring without them around. Plus, Granny's not getting any younger...I might not totally be alone, but it reminds me just how nice it is to have people around, even if they are idiots". 

"Hm...Yeah...It's hard to get away from someone like you". 

"Meaning...?" Gintoki almost took what Hijikata said as a joke. But when meeting eachother's eyes, he found Hijikata's words to be more sincere, even with such a faint smile across Hijikata's lips. 

"Just the...way you are. I don't think anyone would want to lose a guy like you too soon. I certainly wouldn't, as much as you piss me off from time to time". 

"Same to you, asshole". 

A light smack came to Hijikata's arm, and then came some quiet laughter. As much as it didn't hurt, Hijikata still grasped his hand to srop him from doing it again, and they froze like that. Grasping eachother's hands, they both settled down together, a small gap between them. 

"Gintoki...I know there's no suxh thing as forever, but...Do you think I could stick around for a while?" 

"What kinda question is that? Even if we weren't dating, I'd still have you around. Even if we kept fighting and got into all sorts of crazy shit, I'd still keep you around". 

"...". 

"You were tempted to say "awh" just then, weren't you?" 

"N-no...!" 

"Yeah you were! Don't lie". 

Even when he purposely tries to get on Hijikata's nerves, there was no way to avoid trouble and ignore the natural perm-head. Even when he has this habit of pushing him away out of consideration, he still manages to pull Hijikata in close. And this tingly feeling that fluttered around came about during the calm moments, and the excitement and the fun that they shared. It was at the tip of his tongue, but Hijikata had no idea what this feeling meant. And he pushed it aside. He pushed it aside, wanting it to be nothing more than nervousness or pure bliss from having developed such a close relationship with his notorious rival "the natural permed idiot". Right now, he was Gintoki Sakata. Hijikata's blood did not boil, he did not get irritated when looking at his face. He felt calmer and at peace with him, as if their chaotic relationship was a thing of the past. And, in a way, it was. What had surfaced so suddenly? What exactly did Hijikata...feel? It was so warm, and his heart was touched. He pushed it aside again, squeezing Gintoki's hand unconsciously while they were still awake. 

When Gintoki did eventually fall alseep, Hijikata pulled up the coverlet and draped it above Gintoki's shoulder to let him sleep more comfortably. Maintaining the gap between them, Hijikata slid his fingers through Gintoki's and settled down himself under the sheets. It had been a long night, and it was safe to say they were both exhausted. Being awake so long, Hijikata blamed the dazed feeling and the butterflies on his lack of sleep. That's all it was. Actually falling alseep put his mind at ease. Still grasping Gintoki's hand, his grip loosened slightly when the need to sleep washed over him in one fell swoop. He simply shut his eyes slowly, and that was that. The warmth was there, but the feeling was not. And as pleasant as it was, it was weird. So it was left alone. Whether it would come back, he did not know...In his last conscious moments before reaching the land of slumber, he had no idea and left it at that to fall asleep and forget about it the following morning...Hijikata slept, and, for now, the feelings stirring inside restlessly...were gone... 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone had read the manga, you will probably understand what I'm refering to when I wrote about Takasugi and Bansai's past, vaguely. If you get it, kudos to you. If you don't, it's a couple pages in the manga that gives you an idea of their past. Although I hoped they would go into more detail about it.
> 
> There were a few headcanons of mine threaded through this chapter, and I had fun with it. It was fun... This was casual, not really serious but as I said in the beginning, things will...intensify. No more will be said. You'll just have to wait, dear readers. ;D
> 
> And I know this was about more than just staying up late. I went into some deep shit about how they feel about family and moving on and...Feelings...There are...feelings developing in this story here...Yeah...We'll see where that takes off. 
> 
> Thank you for reading the 27th chapter. These two side notes were long, but I had a lot to say this time around. Until next chapter...Bye! (P.S I nearly broke my fingers finishing this. It was worth it...).


	28. A Lot of Things Can Happen When a Group is in the  Middle of a Disaster

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter went down really well, better than I expected. So thank you all for your support :D This smiley face cannot convey how grateful I really am, but it'll do. Don't think this will be the same, but I'll try to make it enjoyable.

Near the end of October, the weather reports had predicted a cold season of winter-freezing, actually. And by the very beginning of Novemeber, the people of Tokyo walked the open, freezing cold streets on early nights wearing heavy coats, scarves, gloves and masks that specifically kept their flu's or illnesses, that rooted from the recent change in weather, to themselves. As soon as November came around the corner, the days had become shorter and the nights were pitch black by nine. Snow could be seen drifting from the sky, but not a single storm had rained down as of yet. Winter had finally arrived, and it was as spiteful as ever. 

A swift cloud of frosted breath escaped past Otae's chapped lips, an annoyance to women and men alike as the chipped, raw skin stung and provoked her to use up a full stick of chapstick by the evening. It had not yet snowed, but the pavements and the roads were coated in frost from the concrete to the grass patches around the park. Out of caution and consideration, Kyubei had offered several times with this concerned look on her face to hold Otae's hand, while trying to avoid sounding repetitive and bordeline annoying. Otae thought no such thing and just smiled. 

"B-but, Tae-chan, if you slip and fall I'd never forgive myself". 

"That's sweet, Kyu-chan, but I'm alright. The soles of my boots have grips so I won't slip and fall as easily. I'm more concerned about your safety". 

"I'm okay, really. I want you to be careful, so...Be careful and hold onto me if you need to". 

"Haha, you never change. Okay, if you insist. I'll hold onto you if I need to".

Always the same, but never upsetting or heart-breaking. Otae had always looked to Kyubei like a friend. As much as she tried to do the same...Kyubei loved Otae. Although they reached this mutal agreement that their friendship comes before anything else and that things like marriage couldn't be forced, especially in this day and age. Once upon a time the female prince wished to marry the other female princess and live happily ever after. In Kyubei's head, it didn't sound right. It still didn't sound right. She was always conscious of her gender, both physically and mentally. That and the fact that Otae wanted nothing more but to maintain a close friendship was what made Kyubei hesitate, and wonder if she should tell her the truth again without forcing an old promise they made several years ago as children. Simply thinking about it, she found herself hesitating again. 

"It was nice of Gin-san to have us over, don't you think?" 

"Huh? Oh, yes...". Kyubei agreed, listening but with her thoughts wandering off elsewhere. 

"You've never been inside Gin-san's apartment, have you?" 

"N-no, I haven't. I hope "Jugem Jugem Shit-Tossing the Life of Shin-Chan’s Two-Day-Old Underwear Balmung Fezalion Isaac Schneider 1/3 True Love 2/3 Hangnail Anxiety Betrayal Knows My Name Or Does It Really Ignore Calls Squid Dogfish Halibut Trout-Cod Dogfish This Is A Different Dogfish, I’m Talking About The Dogfish Shark Kaluga Ray Yuuteimiyaoukimukou pepepepepepepepepepepepe Runny Diarrhea" is alright by himself". 

"Isn't he being taken care of by Toujou-san?" 

"Uh, yes, but...". 

Kyubei could only imagine her pet primate was throwing shit around the house, agitated because Kyubei wasn't around. She felt bad but Gintoki argued that he "wouldn't have that damn dirty ape throwing shit at him all goddamn night". Fair enough, but did he have to be so firm and angered by the very idea of having Jugem-Jugem running around the apartment, throwing shit directly at him? 

"I''m sure he'll be fine. Watching you, it's clear that monkey's well-trained and well-kept. I'm not surprised that he loves you so much...You're very caring, Kyu-chan". 

When being said in a platonic sense, it almost hurt. But Kyubei could still smile and be grateful for her words. It was in her head to say the same about Otae, about how Kyubei loved her because she was so caring (one out of many reasons why Kyubei loved Otae). It couldn't be said. The words wouldn't come out, ever again. She swore to herself that Otae didn't have to hear the same thing, and that she shouldn't have to suffer the pain of it again.

"Let's try to hurry. I'm sure Shin-chan and Kagura-chan will arrive long before us, so we should make sure they don't start without us". 

"Not if I have anything to do with it". 

"Hmhm...Oh, Kyu-chan...". 

... 

Thus far, no one else had arrived at the apartment. By now, Gintoki began to wonder where everyone was before shrugging and announcing to Hijikata, the only other person in the apartment, that he was going to start cooking dinner already. Hijikata watched Gintoki head to the kitchen, scratching under his shirt as he went, unintentionally flashing his side and the bottom curve of his ribcage, to Hijikata. Hijikata was sitting on a lonely lounge chair, reading a book, one of Gintoki's novels, to try and catch up now that he had some time to do so. He wasn't sitting in the living room. In fact, this was much closer to the kitchen, with the front door at a short distance behind him. Therefore, he clearly saw Gintoki's side, ribcage and his slim stomach. Not much, in terms of his torso, was left to the imagination; Hijikata's imagination. 

He closely watched, although he did try to concentrate on the novel in his hands, and couldn't take his eyes off of Gintoki. It was a mystery, but somehow Gintoki appeared more...more... And then, as Hijikata tried to find the right word to describe Gintoki, he bent over to collect a pot of rice from the designated compartment. Hijikata looked away immediatly in embarrassment, feeling idiotic for staring like some pervert. Why stare in the first place? Gintoki was fully clothed in a sweater-his own-and a pair of pants. Big deal. Knowing that, Hijikata thought that it had nothing to do with what Gintoki was wearing. Hijikata was simply staring at...him. But why now of all times? What was so attractive about him at this very moment? 

Strange thoughts had continuously run around Hijikata's head and always brought his gaze longingly towards Gintoki at the most peculiar moments. For some reason the natural perm-head was more...radiant, and his eyes would actually shine and appear more lively at certain angles or alongside certain expressions. Ever since that evening a couple weeks ago, while still in October, the days that weren't as cold, Hijikata had been looking at Gintoki differently. And, once again, the words wouldn't come to him, the feeling was indescribable but at the same time it was warm and fuzzy. And it attracted Hijikata towards Gintoki, pulling him in like a moth to a flame. Not in a clingy way, and hopefully not in a creepy way that would inevitably bring on a "we need a break" talk. Not that Hijikata had ever had such a talk, but it was there and it was almost terrifying to think about. Being a man of reason, Hijikata continued with his book in silence.

Reading Gintoki's novel, it didn't take too long for him to focus on every word and the goings-on in the story. And when he became engrossed in the story and the words written so perfectly together, Hijikata got lost in them like a labyrinth of roses; something so beautiful was worth getting lost in. Being so focused in the story, Hijikata didn't notice the presence beside him, smirking, until he felt the tip of an index finger push softly against his cheek. His eyes darted, and standing above him was Gintoki, slightly bent over to his level. 

"What's with that reaction? Think I'm gonna bite ya?" 

"Uh! Uh, no...You just surprised me then. What's up?" 

"Before I start making dinner, I wanna show you something. I got a present for you". 

"A...present?" Naturally, Hijikata was a little skeptical. In the past "presents" consisted of sex toys or costumes that Gintoki so eagerly wished to try out but was refused on all counts. And Hijikata, for a time, thought he had given up. But this... 

"Don't look so worried, it's not a toy or some slutty costume. Look, jus-...Just trust me. C'mere, and I'll show it to you".

Ever so casually, Gintoki grasped Hijikata's hand and gestured for him to stand to his feet. At the same time, he took the book from his hands and flipped it onto the end table by the lounge chair, spilitting it between the two pages which Hijikata had been reading rather than grabbing a bookmark of some sort. If the spine of the book was ruined because of this well...Not like Gintoki would care since he wrote the damn thing and there were literally millions of copies printed out all over Japan. Not to mention he had his own copy, so this was rather trivial. Stupid...Quit whining. 

Hijikata willingly tagged along but said nothing as Gintoki continued to pull him by the hand. No struggle or resistance here, so this would be considered...normal? Gintoki was just holding Hijikata's hand. That was normal. Hijikata wasn't blushing or fidgeting...So this was normal. The present, however... 

... 

Hijikata had his rear parked on the edge of the bed while watching Gintoki shift through his bedroom drawers for about five seconds at the most. He swiftly pulled something out from the very back of the drawer, past a glasses' case and a pack of condoms. He, too, sat on the bed, presenting his "present" with a gleeful and eager grin on his face. What Gintoki had presented was two seperate sachets about the size of his hand, each. And when reading the labels, Hijikata... 

"Ta-da~! Body icing~!" Hijikata was in a state of both puzzlement and had also reverted back to skeptisism. 

"Wha-...Wha-...What?" 

"It's body icing. I thought we could use it to spice things up. Or sweeten things, know what I'm saying?" Gintoki's grin widened--perverse! And slid his thumb between his index and middle finger, jerking his eyebrows up suggestively. 

"Hell no! What-...What do you-...What?!" Hijikata was repeating himself at this point. Such a foreign and incomprehensible thing brought out his red hot blush, covering even his nose and his ears. 

"There's nothing wrong with it. It's not like I'm imposing we use a toy, since you made me give all of those back. It's just something to...spread on and lick off during sex. I even got different flavours. These are...". Gintoki took a pause just to remind himself of the flavours printed in big, coloured lettering on the front. "Bubblegum and blueberry. Which one do you want?" 

"What, now?!" 

"Sure~, when there are a buncha kids coming over any minute now. Later, dumbass". 

"L-look, I know...I just..." 

"Are you embarrassed to try it? I mean, when I suggested toys, you got embarrassed but you rejected it almost immediatly. But you seem much more embarrassed about this? Or, what, are you considering it? Do you want me to spread this on your hot, naked body and-". 

"Ss-stop! Wh-Why did you buy something like this in the first place?!" 

"I told ya: I wanted to spice things up, but take it slow since you're so reluctant to use vibrators and bondage". 

"...". 

When Gintoki said that with this almost bashful look on his face; his gaze shifting, his cheeks turning slightly pink, Hijikata wondered to himself if spicing things up was necessary. Did they have so much vanilla, meaningful, emotional sex that that's all it was at this point? Was it not as fun? 

"Look, Hijikata, don't get the wrong idea. Whenever we have sex, it's honestly amazing and probably the best I've ever had-not only in a physical, pleasurable sense, but because it's meaningful to me. But it would be nice to try other things, y'know? This isn't just for me, but it's for you as well. We can try it once and see how you feel, or we don't have to try it at all and just have normal sex tonight when everyone's gone. We could have candles too, if you'd like". 

Gintoki was holding Hijikata's hand again. While caressing the soft skin with his thumb, Hijikata did take the idea of using something new in the bedroom into consideration. Gintoki was into this stuff, and he had needs that Hijikata didn't necessarily have to meet if he was uncomfortable or unwilling. Despite bringing up the idea, and despite going to the trouble of buying these new things to try them, Gintoki was still prepared to back off if Hijikata really didn't want to have anything weird shoved up there or if he didn't want to be tied up and gagged like some kind of hostage in his comfort zone; that being Gintoki's apartment, or his own place. But wouldn't it be smarter to consult Hijikata first before getting excited and buying these things to surprise him? 

"...Y'know, you should really discuss these things with me first...". 

"Well, yeah, I'll do that from now on, but-...". 

"If-...If it's only once then...Then I suppose we can...But only once! I'm serious!" 

"Seriously? Well...". Gintoki shrugged, defeated-but with a smile of acceptance and consideration for Hijikata's feelings. "Okay...And, you know what, I won't force these things onto you if you're really not comfortable. I'm a sadist so...this kinda stuff excites me, but don't think I'm some jerk-off that would force you into these things. If you really, really don't wanna do it, then fair enough. I won't cry about it. So...are you sure you wanna go through with this?" 

Gintoki had needs too. And although there were plenty that Hijikata had a right to refuse, this was a two-sided relationship, after all, as Gintoki had said last month. Or he had said something of the like. If this was simply a case of spreading some sort of icing on the body to be licked off during intercourse, then how bad could it be? 

"I don't...mind. It's kinda embarrassing to think about, but as long as it's you who's...doing..."it" and not some toy, and as long as I can touch you, too, then, um...Dammit, I rambling like an idiot...". 

"No you're not-Hey". Gintoki cupped Hijikata's cheek so that they met eyes and Gintoki could offer a somewhat reassuring smile. "Well, you are an idiot, but in this case, you're not. Actually, hearing you say that is really...sexy, and cute". 

That combination of words would have earned Gintoki a good, hard smack to the jaw. In fact, why didn't it?

"That doesn't help me at all...". Hijikata was being surprisingly docile, effortlessly holding back the need to hit Gintoki square in the face for whatever reason. 

And in came the tender kisses after a soft chuckle was provoked from Gintoki. Hijikata's eyes were half-open as he indulged in those sweet kisses. With only a blank state in his head he didn't have the energy to question why he was so dazed from kisses, and only Gintoki's kisses. For the past six months these were the only kisses he ever got. When pulling back, his lips moist and sweet, Gintoki proceeded to pick the two sachets back up again eagerly. 

"So, er...". He muttered at first, reading the list of ingredients on the back with slight, unexpected skeptisism and worry. "I've never had this before so...Uh, well...Maybe we should try it?" 

"What, on our fingers?" 

"Sure. Just dip our fingers in and taste some to make sure we won't vomit tonight". 

"That could happen for two different reasons, y'know". One being they try to lick some...off and it tastes so horrible that they feel sick. Or, two, they ingest too much of it and, well, the rest can be left unsaid. 

Gintoki instinctively opened up the bubblegum flavour first off all, attracted to the pink, cotton candy coloured swirls on the packaging that spoke to him directly. Peering inside the sachet, he nodded his head and showed some interest with and "okay" and a sniff of the pink, gooey substance inside. 

"Oh, wow. My god that smells good...It's so sweet...Uhm...H-here, you try first". 

"W-wait, why me?" Hijikata's question went unheard the first time as Gintoki dipped his finger in and scooped up the substance inside. It left a string behind, dripping from the scoop collected on the tip of Gintoki's finger. He reached out, holding his pink-coated index finger directly in front of Hijikata's lips. 

"You try it. I'm too nervous". 

"Why the hell are you nervous? Didn't you buy this stuff?" 

"I didn't think ahead to trying it now. Let's just taste it and get our nerves outta the way". 

"Why does it suddenly seem like you're more nervous and embarrassed than I am?!" 

"Just shut up and eat the god damn body icing!" 

"Don't get forceful right after being so kind and considerate about this you asshole!!" Hijikata was nervous too. No doubt about it. And the fact that Gintoki was actually offering to feed it to him...This felt odd. Really odd. "Haah...Keep your hand still...". But Hijikata conceeded. Licking his lips anxiously he leaned in about an inch before a tiny spec of icing touched his lips. He had stopped, looking up at Gintoki before going any further. "You, er...didn't pick your nose earlier, did you?" 

"No, my finger's clean. Now go before I slip it in myself. I'm experienced, so don't worry". 

"That's disturbing. Now shut it already". 

To be so nervous...Clearly they hadn't done everything in the "big book of the bedroom", so naturally Hijikata flushed and his heart throbbed. Tilting his head, he had a good angle for a kiss, but for licking some icing from Gintoki's it was nothing short of unecessary and showed how nervous he was. He shut his eyes, slicking his tongue carefully across the tip of Gintoki's finger, picking up the icing and then habitually sucking off leftovers.

"So? What's it like?" 

When the taste itself finally reached Hijikata's senses, he held back his lips, eyes still closed, and swallowed whatever didn't melt in his mouth. The taste was somewhat extreme in the sweet department, having a more similar taste to sickly cotton candy than bubblegum. 

"It's very sweet...Ugh...I don't agree with it...". 

"Really? Hold on...". Gintoki scooped some up for himself, sticking his moist, saliva-coated finger past his lips to suck the icing and savour this extremely sweet taste. He lacked a reaction, but..."You're right". He agreed. "Ugh, that is too sweet, even for me. Kinda wanna throw up". 

"Don't you dare". 

"Well that's a huge disappointment, like when you buy a really fruity stick of gum an the amazing flavour lasts for two seconds, and it hurts your jaw when you unconsciously keep chewing, expecting more flavour". Although this was the complete opposite; there was too much flavour that it was almost sickening. Rolling up the opening of the sachet, Gintoki tossed it aside. "Okay...You open up the blueberry. If this isn't good, I'm gonna be pissed. False packaging is the same as a false person: they may look pretty and well-kept on the outside and have this sweet attitude, but when they open up to you they're bitter or sickeningly sweet, and you immediatly wanna throw it away and find someone that's to your taste". 

"That sounds like a shallow way of putting it, don't you think?" Hijikata ripped open the other sachet which was decorated with navy blue swirls, titled as blueberry flavoured body icing. Looking inside, the substance was a baby blue colour. And it did smell appealing. "Okay...You can try this one first, since you did the same to me". 

"Okay, sure. I'm better prepared, since you did it first". 

The process was repeated. Hijikata scooped up the baby blue goo and held his index fingers in front of Gintoki's face for him to start...doing his thing. He took the initiative here and took hold of Hijikata's wrist. Swiftly he traced the tip of his tongue over the blue goop before also sucking on Hijikata's finger in a more intimate way than necessary. 

"Gh! Mm...!" The sensation was very odd. The icing must have been enjoyable as Gintoki made sure to run his tongue within the curve of Hijikata's nail. He retracted his lips, leaving behind a saliva string, licking his lips. 

"Phew...I think we have a winner". Gintoki wiped his lips with a confident look in his eyes as he gestured for Hijikata to try it. He did just that, with his own fingers. 

"...It's not bad". The flavour didn't agree with Hijikata too much, but it wasn't terrible. There was definitely a hint of blueberry in there, but mostly sugar. Sweet foods were not Hijikata's all-time favourites, after all. 

"Seems clear that I'll be doing all the work tonight. Wonder if it'll be any different for you". 

Hijikata had a feeling it would be warm and sticky. From the texture of the icing alone, how it stuck to his finger after being slobbered on, it was somewhat clear that this might not be the most pleasant experience. But it was better than being stuffed up with an over-sized vibrator or beads, which Gintoki so eagerly wished to try out on Hijikata. He trusted Gintoki to be a little kind to him and to not spread too much on his body. Gintoki once again grasped Hijikata's hand and looked him in the eyes with both sincerity and care, but his smile was still aloof and charming. 

"It'll be alright, y'know. If you really don't like it, we won't use it again. And I'll actually discuss it with you if I wanna spice things up. Sound good?" Gintoki rubbed Hijikata's arm up and down and ever so affectionately while his face inched closer for a kiss. 

"Yeah, I suppose so". 

"It'll be fine and, who knows, you might really enjoy it. I'm treating you tonight, so...". 

"You're trying your best, you mean". 

"Oi, that's rude". The arm which was being rubbed and petted was then slapped lightly. A smile curved onto Hijikata's lips, which he tried to hide away, seeing Gintoki so irritated by his snarky remark. "You wanna fight? I will. I'll throw ya down and fight you". 

The threat didn't dig deeply. Instead it was taken as an empty, non-serious little threat. Why? Well the fact that Gintoki then traced kisses into Hijikata's cheek, pressing this skin softly, was a dead give away to his attitude. He wasn't as hot-headed as he would usually get. With only a few more kisses and a couple light slap to Hijikata's cheek, because of his earlier comment, with no impact or real attempt to harm him, Gintoki slid off the bed to his feet. 

"Alright. I'm gonna continue dinner before those kids come in. You comin'?" 

"Yeah, I'll just put these sachets away...Or do you wanna throw the bubblegum one out?" 

"Yeah, just toss that crap out--but do it in the bathroom trash can next door so the kids don't see it. They won't enter my room anyway, so they definitely won't go into that bathroom". 

"Okay. I'll see you down there".

Hijikata rubbed his cheek. There was no mark, although he wasn't aware of that fact, but it stung ever so slightly. Gintoki was trying to give Hijikata more of a treat. He didn't have to do anything of the sort, and he wasn't very forceful about it. But you'd think, as a couple, he'd discuss it with Hijikata first. He'd agreed to it now anyway. Something like this was fine, it wasn't going too far. What was going too far again? Right, having some plastic toy shoved up the rear and switched to vibrate. The concept was almost scary and greatly undesired. But this...This wasn't so bad. It didn't appear that way. Hijikata trusted that Gintoki would be gentle and that they would take their time with this, like always... 

... 

Both Shinpachi and Kagura had returned to the apartment after a quick shopping trip, with Sadaharu walking alongside them on a leash like a good boy. If it were Gintoki walking him the mutt would most likely try to escape by biting his ankles. Their cheeks were stained red from the cold. Snow had begun falling around the time they reached the convenience store on their way back. The sky had darkened and the air had gotten colder within minutes. Looking outside, standing right in front of the balcony doors, Kagura "ooh-ed" and "ahh-ed" at the sight of the snowfall. Snow wasn't uncommon in her hometown in Kyoto, thus it wasn't unusual to see it in Tokyo. Perhaps she was looking at the lights covering the city, as well as the snow; how it glowed and illuminated the sky, blocking out the lights from above. Living in the city, no one had ever witnessed a sky filled with stars.

"Oi, Kagura, don't go outside onto the balcony. You wanna catch a cold?" 

"I'm not gonna go outside, Gin-chan. You think I'm an idiot, aru?" 

"Yeah...". 

"You wanna fight, perm-head?!"

"It's really starting to come down. I hope Sis' and Kyubei-san will be alright". Shinpachi also stared out of the wide window, seated on its ledge next to Kagura. 

Being at a farther distance, standing in the kitchen, neither Gintoki nor Hijikata looked up to see the snowfall for themselves as they were occupied with preparing dinner. Hijikata had offered to help, ignoring Gintoki's arguments against it since it didn't require a lot of help-not for this particular dish anyway. So Hijikata was assigned with cutting up vegetables while Gintoki opened up boxes of...crab? 

"What exactly are we making?" 

"Just fried rice with crab. We had disagreements before, but back then we only had one crab and three starving individuals. We tried mixing in different ingredients to make the "ultimate dish" above everyone else's but it ended up being too fishy and kinda gross. So we're re-doing it with more people, more crab to go around and a huge serving of rice and vegetables". 

"I see. You think this will be any better?" 

"It'd better be. I'm a master in the kitchen. So as long as Gin-san's doin' the work, I doubt anything can go wrong-oof!" 

Out of nowhere, Gintoki was pushed aside by none other than Kagura. She stood between them rather rudely, peering over the wok and then suddenly sporting a frown of disappointment. 

"Are you guys not cooking yet? I'm starving~". 

"Did you eat lunch?" Gintoki asked. He wouldn't be surprised if she had. Therefore his question was unecessary and, according to Kagura, it was kinda stupid to ask. 

"Duh. Me and Shin-chan bought bean buns, but I shared some with Sadaharu. So I didn't eat much". 

"Kagura-chan, you ordered three of them". 

"And what, four-eyes? I'm still a developing girl, I need to eat. All my friends say I shouldn't eat so much 'cause I'll gain weight. Unlike them I have a fast metabolism...I think. That's what ya call it, right Gin-chan, aru?" 

"Sure. But it's more than a fast metabolism; you're stomach's like a black hole. Why'd ya think I'm making so much rice ya gluttonous brat? So you don't eat everything in the rice bucket. I bought extra when I went grocery shopping yesterday". 

"How considerate, aru". The sarcasm was there, but Gintoki wasn't wrong. Kagura would dig around for seconds and thirds if Gintoki had prepared an ordinary amount of rice. "Gin-chan, can I help? I'm so bored waiting. Please~?" 

"Why do you wanna help all of a sudden? I ask you to do your laundry and then I have to do it. I ask you to take out the trash when it's full and you keep piling stuff until it collapses, and so Sadaharu gets into it and Gin-san has to clean up again. If you help, it'll give ya an excuse to eat before everyone else". 

"How so? How am I gonna eat before everyone else?" 

"Cause when I cook you always ask for a taste test then you end up eating your share before I've served it". 

"I'm not gonna do that~. Besides, you've made plenty. Please, Gin-chan~. I wanna help". 

Kagura gripped Gintoki's shirt, staring up at him with puppy-dog eyes and a bottom lip that stuck out for effect. She was acting like his daughter, but spoiled and a little manipulative. 

"Well, what can you do? I've already got Hijikata cutting vegetables, and I don't wanna get the blame if you accidentally slice your fingers off. Haah...Y-you know what, why not set the table and you can watch since you seem more eager to be close to the food. I can teach you how to use a wok, but that's it". 

"Thanks, Gin-chan! Can I have a taste test?" 

"Fine. But I'm only giving you a spoonful-no more than that, got it?"

"Huu...Fine. But you'd better put a lotta meat on that spoonful". 

"We'll see...". 

From the cupboards above, and the drawers at hip level, Kagura collected plates and chopsticks to be set across the table. As she did so, so blissful and eager to have a first try of the food with nothing that could possible distrupt her joyful mood, the front door opened and another guest barged in, invited. 

"Yo, China Girl. What's with the stupid look on your face? Did you level-up from being ridiculously flat-chested to just flat?" 

There was no one else who would speak so cruedly and confidently, aside from the "King of Sadism", Gintoki. But this guy would only ever insult her on her cup size for the sake of pissing her off. His mocking words could only be spoken through an equally mocking grin, knowing that targeting Kagura's lack of development at age fourteen would earn a reaction-a priceless one at that. "The Prince of Sadism"...Sougo Okita, had entered the room. As said before, to be emphasised now, he was invited. 

The gleeful face and silent eagerness radiating from Kagura had switched immediatly into this twisted expression of both confusion and anger; her eyes darkening; her eyebrow twitching; her throat preparing a roar of anger and some serious questioning for whoever the hell invited him here. Two guesses. She took two guesses. 

"Why...Why the hell is that damn sadist here?!" Pointing the finger at Okita, who was still standing in the doorway, waiting to be invited in properly, Kagura glared at both Gintoki and Hijikata. Neither were necessarily terrified. But the obvious culprit was the one to sigh and prepare an explanation for Okita's presence. 

"I invited him. I would have invited Kondo-san but he's working. Besides, I wouldn't want him to bump in that crazy sister of Shinpachi's. Sougo was, dare I say it, the next best thing". 

"The next best thing would be Saito, wouldn't it?" And in came Gintoki's input. He was correct, however. Saito, the mute of the district police, would have been the next best thing before Okita, but... 

"I did ask him, but he turned me down with the most uncomfortable look on his face. He must have been shy...". 

"What about Jimmy?" Jimmy...Yamazaki, in other words. Hijikata would have asked him too, but he then recalled the voice message that was left on his desk an hour or two after Hijikata invited him. 

("AnpananpananpananpananpananpananpananPANanpananpananpAnanpananpanANpanAnPanANPANANPANANPAN") 

The memories, like a nightmare, sent shudders down Hijikata's spine. To avoid anyone else knowing of Yamazaki's mental breakdown, Hijikata told Gintoki, in reply, that Okita was right next to Saito on the list of people to invite and that there was nothing to do about that. 

"Sougo, you might as well come in. But don't try anything, otherwise you'll get kicked out". 

"Oof. That hurts, Hijikata-san. After I gave you and Danna so much support in your relationship, you speak so harshly towards me. I'm hurt". His sarcasm certainly didn't fly by anyone's heads, especially with such a snarky little smirk on his pretty little face. 

Sougo stepped out of his shoes and into the apartment comfortably with his hands stuffed into his pant's pockets. 

"Been a while, huh, China Girl? Have you gotten shorter?" 

"Mayora! He's already causing trouble! First ya insult my cup size then ya insult my height?! You wanna get your head flushed down a shit-filled toilet, aru?!" 

Kagura stood tall, lifting herself onto the tips of her toes in a fruitless attempt to reach Okita's level regarding height. Okita yet again looked down on her, quite literally, with a careless smirk in a sense that he was going to reach out and pet her hair to humor the poor girl. He didn't. 

"Will you two quit it already?" Gintoki was firm about that, but his back remained turned. Let's face it: he was sick of this shit already. 

"Sougo, shouldn't you be setting a better example to the China Girl?" 

"Says the nicotine-addicted homo". 

"What's the second word got to do with anything?!" 

"Nothin'. It's just funny to see your reaction when I call ya that. No offense. If you two wanna romp around, you go for it but steer clear of the little girl in the room next door, okay? She's still young". 

"What kind of couple do you take us for?! We'd never-...!" 

"Hijikata-san, I'm kidding. Take it easy". 

The exact same as Gintoki: telling untraditional, crude jokes then claiming to have been joking around the whole time right after Hijikata takes it seriously-as anyone would. Those two make the most inappropriate jokes for Hijikata's reaction, specifically, just because he's more prone to embarrassment and flustered expressions. To Okita, it was funny. To Gintoki, it was funny and adorable. Enough said. 

The front door opened once more, this being the final time tonight, and in came Otae and Kyubei. They brushed off leftover snow from their hair and shoulders with reddened cheeks and shuddering from the cold. Still, Otae smiled. And, obviously, Kyubei was much more concerned for Otae, thus brushing more snow from Otae's coat than her own. 

"We're here. Sorry to intrude. Don't tell me you started without us, because you know I won't have that, Gin-san". 

"I agree with Tae-chan. If you have started without us, then you'll have to deal with me".

Kyubei stood in front of Otae, pointing her fingers at everyone else in the room. One could only imagine, with that kind of expression on her face, that grasping a sword would suit her just as well. 

"No, we haven't started". Gintoki grumbled, still slicing up crab shells for the meat inside; carefully; delicately as not to cause the shell to crack and crumble onto the meat. "Come in already, you're letting a draft in". 

Kyubei relaxed and went on to shut the door behind them as Otae was the first to remove her shoes. 

"It's really cold out there. I mean, look at it. I'd say the storm's growing increasingly heavier". Otae peered over from the entranceway to the window to see the storm for herself. Pellets and pellets of snow shot down from the sky, splattering the window as they went. 

"No kidding...". Shinpachi agreed, still staring out with concern on his face. "Do you think it'll continue through the night?" 

Gintoki hoped not. He hoped he wouldn't have four guests and Kagura staying over under the same roof when the original plan was for everyone to leave, and for Kagura to stay over at the Shimura's apartment while Gintoki had some privacy with Hijikata. That was the plan. Why was the storm preventing them from sticking to it? If worse comes to worse and everyone had to sleep over, Gintoki could slip out of the apartment and walk right into Hijikata's for their privacy. Plan B. They now had a plan B. 

"Alright, Kagura, you comin' over? I'm gonna start cooking everything together". Kagura rushed over by the kitchen counters at Gintoki's calling, so she could observe and enjoy the savoury smell of Gintoki's cooking. Crossing her arms over the counter, she watched as he poured oil into the wok, turned on the stove and... "Huh...?" 

Flicking the usual switch, watching the little light beside the knobs remain unlit, Gintoki paused with the stove's turning knob between his fingers. He turned the dial back to zero, for heat, and then switched it back to six once more. Nothing. 

"What's wrong?" Hijikata asked, peering over Gintoki's shoulder to examine the situation for himself. 

"The...The stove isn't turning on". 

"Huh? Seriously? Is it broken-...". That question fell silent when the lights above flickered and then, after one or two sudden switches, the lights went completely dead throughout the apartment. All eyes shifted among the lights across the ceilings, but that wouldn't change the fact that there was clearly a power-outage. 

"A...A blackout?" Shinpachi was the first to open his mouth. Once he looked outside, his mouth hung open, lingering to remain agape as the shock over-whelmed him. "H-holy crap! Everyone, look! The city's pitch black!" 

From where everyone currently stood, they could all see the snow pelting the windows-the storm which caused this sudden blackout. From where they stood, it was clear that the lights vastly covering the city of Tokyo had died, whereas a few flickered back on in the distance. 

"Looks like some buildings have emergency power". Okita pointed out. He was quite calm about the situation. No shockers there, of course. "Judging the distance, it's probably a hospital. The police station's back-up power should be kickin' in too".

"Gin-chan, does this building have back-up power?" 

"Nope, otherwise it would have come on by now". 

Everyone was calm. A power-outage was nothing to be afraid of. That could be said for everyone, except for, out of all people in the room, Kyubei. As soon as the lights shut off without warning, plummeting the room into total darkness, she huddled up and hugged Otae tightly with her face hidden away. When she did this, Otae was kind enough to pet her hair and reassure her that everything was okay. 

"It's alright, Kyu-chan. It's only a blackout. We're fine, see?" 

Everything was fine. No need to panic...Kyubei, despite her actions, apparently thought so too. When turning her head against Otae's chest, Kyubei had the most blissful and content expression on her face that truely stunned those who saw it. Kyubei wasn't scared...She wasn't scared at all. She was taking advantage of the situation! She was so happy and everything! But Otae was practically clueless! 

"Gin-san, is there any way we can have some lighting? Don't you have candles?" 

"I do, yeah. Hope you don't mind scented ones, though, 'cause they're all we've got". 

"That's fine. Please get them quickly. Kyu-chan's beginning to tremble". Probably because her face is buried in your non-existing chest, tickling her fancy a bit too much. From his own experience, Gintoki knew this could only lead to a really bad nosebleed and sweet memories. Nothing but. 

... 

All around the apartment, in safe places, Gintoki and Hijikata both displayed scented candles and lit them all up until the place had some sort of light source. If they were to burn out too soon, there were always more saved up in literal stacks for Gintoki's romatic set-ups. Not that anyone else knew. To them these were simply scented candles. Rapidly swaying the match lit in hand, Gintoki had burned his last candle, which was previously among many others piled together in his arms with a box of matches in hand. He stood up from the coffee table's level shutting the match box with a sigh. 

"There. Is that any better?" 

"Uh...yes. Thank you". Kyubei was finally standing at a short, but spacious distance from Otae with a trail of blood running down from her nose and over her lips as a deep red blush stained her cheeks.

"Is everyone else okay?" 

"Sure, but...". Kagura grumbled, her chin resting on the coffee table while the long face made it absolutely clear that everything was not alright. "What are we gonna do for dinner since the stove isn't working?" 

"Plus, it'll get cold in here since there's no heating". Shinpachi was already shivering at the thought, cradling himself to keep warm even before the cold had reached the apartment.

"There isn't much we can do about that. Until the power returns, we'll use blankets to warm up and figure out what we can do for food. The refigerator's obviously off, so everything's gonna go bad anyway. We can probably settle for foods stored in the cupboards and snacks, so all we have to do is wait it out". All eyes were on Gintoki as he spoke responsibly, taking charge of the situation even when Hijikata was in the room. It was admirable, but even Gintoki could act responsibly when it mattered. 

Walking across the apartment in thought, Gintoki didn't necessarily think about where he was heading. Perhaps it was best to grab blankets first from the downstair closets for everyone, thus he headed for the first one built into the spare room to the far right of the living room. He headed towards it, his feet tapping soundlessly against the floorboards when- 

"...". 

They creaked...The floorboards...They suddenly creaked beneath his feet. 

Now, it wasn't a phenominon for floorboards to creak, even in a fairly new building. However, this felt off. The floorboards around the entire apartment were generally solid and didn't make a sound. But this spot sounded rather hollow. Something smelled fishy, otherwise...It just smelled. 

"Gintoki, what's wrong?" Hijikata asked, being one person out of everyone else who was puzzled by Gintoki's need to suddenly pause in the middle of his seemingly careless walk across the apartment with no context or reason. 

Hijikata approuched Gintoki alone. When seeing his face for himself there was this sense of uncertainty and suspicion in his eyes as he stared directly down to the floor. 

"I think there's something down here". He suggested, mumbling to himself, perhaps. But then he swiftly made eye contact with Hijikata. 

"Wait, what? How could you...? That's a little...weird of you to say". 

"No, I'm serious. These floorboards feel like they've been moved". To emphasise his point, Gintoki jerked and pressed his heel against the floorboards once or twice. They creaked and squeaked under the pressure, raising more suspicion. 

"What's going on over there? Are you two alright?" Otae also chose to approuch, curiously. The other four sat back and watched from a distance. Although Kyubei was more prepared to stand up if anything happened to Otae. Nothing appeared out of the ordinary, though. Nothing could pop out and scare the life out of them, right? 

"I think there's something beneath these". Gintoki repeated himself, walking towards the kitchen for a knife-in order to raise the floorboards. 

"What...?" 

"Gintoki, that's a bit strange. Is the blackout already getting to you?" 

"Shut it. I'm goin' with my gut here, so stand back and we'll see". 

"Come to think of it...". Otae grasped her chin, staring down at the floor, sniffing the air before her nose scrunched up. "Something does stink...". 

Gintoki returned with a knife, kneeling down by this particular spot of floorboards. Carefully, he slid the blade through the edges of the floorboards and jimmied them. They were loose; moved. They had been moved. When the lip of the boards rose up, Gintoki very carefully raised them further, bringing the knife out from the gap made. A section of floorboards was lifted and set aside. And through the darkness, from within the floor was... 

"...". 

"...". 

"...". 

"...". 

"You...". Otae mumbled. Her eyes darkened. "You...!" She clenched her fists, trembling with rage and then... 

"H-hi, Otae-sa-". 

"You damn gorilla stalkeeeeeeer!!" Otae jumped up from the floor, leaping into the gap made in the flooring, landing directly onto the face of Isao Kondo who had, somehow, slipped under the floorboards before the blackout. Maybe even before anyone came into the apartment. But how?! 

"Khaah! O-Otae-s-". 

"Die, you stupid creep!" Otae was ready to jump up again and break his nose-if she hadn't already-but was swiftly stopped by Hijikata. 

"O-oi, cut it out! You'll break through the flooring if you continue on like that!" 

"Not if I break this gorilla's skull first!" 

"Not in this apartment!" Gintoki also stepped in. He was just as desperate to stop Otae, but for his own reasons and not Kondo's life. "I don't want my apartment to be a murder scene! And he's the Chief of police! You think you'll get off lightly you crazy woman?!" 

"Tae-chan, let me end the creep's life. If it means you avoid arrest, I'll gladly take the fall. Gin-san...May I borrow that knife?" 

"Hell no! Kyubei, sit down! Let the adults handle this. By adults, I mean me and Hijikata. Now, Otae-chan, you mind stepping off of the gorilla's face?" 

"Hmph...!" 

Otae removed herself from within the floors, the soles of her shoes stained with Kondo's blood. He lay there barely conscious with a bloody nose and dead eyes, which was worrying. Not as worrying as his methods for sneaking in here and hiding under the floorboards. The only reason being that he somehow found out that Otae was invited to the apartment and he wanted to suddenly ditch work and join in. Walk through the front door, moron. The pain won't be as bad. She would only corkscrew your stomach and punch your teeth out for being in the same room, but this...This was just low.

... 

A private word in the kitchen was needed, as well as a good explanation for the sudden change of events. A gorilla literally crept his way under the floorboards-somehow-to supposedly stalk another gorilla-...! 

A bruise was marked on Gintoki's face, painful and justified in Otae's perspective as she uttered "who're you calling a gorilla?" Even in the narration, no one is safe. Gintoki had landed himself a bruise, and that was that. Kondo had had a bandage wrapped around his face, holding his nose together as it was, in fact, broken by Otae's feet crushing it under her whole weight. Tissues had been clogged up his nostrils to stop the bleeding, yet he maintained this shameless demeanor of "I have no regrets". The situation he put himself in for the sake of unrequited love was nothing short of disastrous. Seriously, what was he trying to achieve from this? A broken nose? Well, congratu-fuckin'-lations Chief of police, Gorilla Gorilla Gorilla-san. You did it. 

"Kondo-san...". Hijikata was disappointed in him, but not surprised that he would do something like this. When would he ever learn? "You could have knocked on the front door, y'know...Why the floorboards?" 

"We have kids here, y'know. No need to be such a creep". Gintoki was very, very tempted to spit in disgust. He held it in, however, knowing how much Hijikata respected this guy even if he was a creepy gorilla stalker. 

"Well, y'see...If I had walked in the front door, would it be any different?" 

"That's not the point, Kondo-san! I did already invite you, but you said you had work. It was just as well because Spectacles-I mean, Shinpachi's sister was also invited. Why did you sneak in under the floorboards?" 

"Well...Toshi, it's um...It's sort of habitual by now. I'm not used to simply walking through the front door when Otae-san's in the same room. I keep a distance in case...stuff like this happens. I came because old man Matsudaira was taking over the investigation, for personal reasons. I think he needed an excuse to get out of the house since his daughter invited friends over-but anyway...I was free, so I asked Saito to take care of things while I was gone. And after I explained where I was going he was nice enough to inform me that Otae-san was here too, in big capital letters on his notepad". 

"Kondo-san, I think Saito was trying to warn you. He was invited too, but turned the invitation down so...He warned you to turn it down as well". 

"That mute's a nice guy, huh, Hijikata?" 

"Yeah, he is...".

If Kondo was stuck here with the rest of them for a long period of time, it was likely that Otae couldn't express her anger and irritation the whole night. And she wouldn't be as cruel as to kick him out into the storm, right? At least not while Hijikata and Okita were in the same room. Having respected Kondo for so long, they would surely stick up for him. Hijikata would for sure. And knowing Okita...He was a cruel and heartless individual at times, but he respected Kondo like an older brother. So if Otae did try anything, Okita would step in. And then Kyubei would step in. And then Kagura would step in just because it gave her an excuse to fight Okita. Then both Shinpachi and Hijikata would get inbetween everyone before a full-on fight began in the apartment. 

"Hijikata, stay here and make sure nobody starts a killing spree. I'm gonna go collect...pretty much all the blankets in the house. It's already starting to freeze up in here". 

"Okay...Okay. Hurry, though. Things will probably get pretty tense of you're gone for too long". 

"Let's hope not". 

... 

Luckily the atmosphere was calmer than you would expect with such a dangerous group of idiots, and Shinpachi, gathered in the same room. With no T.V, internet or any contact to the world outside of this high-rise apartment, the tension would sharpen with each passing hour. Not to mention everyone was on empty stomachs, with the original dinner plan stored in plastic bento boxes for when the power returned and they could actually cook it. But the chances of the power coming back on before morning was extremely slim and risky; risky in the sense that someone would lose their mind by then from the dead silence and lack of food. Not to point the finger, but Kagura was the crankiest on an empty stomach, while in the exact same room as Okita. She held Sadaharu in her arms, a blanket draped over her body as provided by Gintoki. Everyone else was give one as the air grew colder and the tension arose. The only question was: how long would they last?

The only thing that was stored in the cupboards, that didn't need to be cooked or refrigerated, was bread, peanut butter, jams and snacks. Dinner was hearby sorted by sheer luck in this unlucky situation. PB&J ex Machina. The only two sensible adults in this situation right now were Hijikata and Gintoki. If they weren't together in a content and caring relationship the situation would be even more dire, for everyone. Getting-drunk-and-kissing-at-the-very-beginning-leading-to-a-close-content-relationship ex Machina. With the food they had, a huge serving of PB&J was placed on the living room coffee table as well as non-concentrated orange juice, since they weren't able to make any hot drinks for the time being. And when food and water-based fluids were put in front of everyone, the tension dropped vastly. Now all that remained was the silence and rather dis-heartened atmosphere. 

"Come on, everyone". The straight man of this situation, Shinpachi, smiled. But if this were a murder-mystery, locked room scenario there was no doubt he would be the first to die. No offense, Shinpachi. "We have to keep our spirits up. The power should come back by tomorrow, so all we have to do is hold out until then". 

"That's the spirit, Shinpachi!" Kondo stuck his thumb up, being the second with a light-hearted attitude. Naturally. He wasn't one to lower his head in any situation. "I'll be proud to call you my brother-in-law". 

"Who's gonna be your brother-in-law?!" Shinpachi, despite his happy, carefree attitude from earlier, was now questioning Kondo with goosebumps running across his arms. 

"No way! Shinpachi-san will be my brother-in-law!" Kyubei suddenly stood, truely angered due to the assumptions made by Kondo. But she was no better, if you think about it. 

"Not you too, Kyubei-san!" 

"I think Shinpachi wants to be Shinpachi's brother-in-law 'cause of his sister complex". 

"That doesn't even make sense, Kagura-chan! And I don't have a sister complex!" 

"I agree with the China Girl, for once. You do have a sister complex, Spectacles. That's pretty messed up". Okita sat back on the only other armchair with his feet up on the coffee table. Did anyone ask for his input? 

"Did anyone ask for your input, ya damn sadist? Don't you have a Mayora complex, aru?!" 

"The hell? Why the hell would I have a complex over Hijikata-san? You're imagination is pretty sick, China Girl". 

"Says the sadist who puts college girls on leashes and walks them around town! I saw it you sick pervert!" 

"Who's a sick pervert?!" 

Both rivals were on the edge of their seats, prepared to stand up and butt their heads together with clenched teeth and snarls of pure hatred and rage. Although they both shamelessly claimed that Shnpachi held hidden in his heart a sister complex, Shinpachi would have stepped in to keep them both from fighting. 

"N-now, now, you two. Don't fight...U-uh, Gin-san, could you back me up here-...?" 

Shinpachi had looked around the living room without knowing where Gintoki had sat down before this all unfolded. Where had he sat down? Looking around, he wasn't even in the living room. Nor was Hijikata. Everyone else, noticing that not a single response came from the Natural Perm or the Mayora, looked around the apartment until their eyes all pointed in the same direction and these expressions of both puzzlement and even jealousy came across in an almost humourous way. Sitting in the corner of the room, underneath the wide window on the east side of the apartment was where both Gintoki and Hijikata had hidden out of sight from all the tension going on in the living room. Side-by-side they shared a blanket just talking among themselves with content smiles and even intertwind fingers. It was a sight to behold, one that puzzled two people (Okita and Kagura) and made the rest of the room boil up with jealousy. They weren't even showing off. They were beside eachother, talking among themselves at a distance from anyone else, having a good time. If that wasn't weird or infuriating to see among these people then what was? 

"They look so happy, don't they?" Kyubei spoke up quietly, her ability to contain her jealousy was quite a feat. compared to everyone else. 

"I'm happy for them". Despite being jealous, Kondo smiled out of joy for his good friend, Hijikata, and his partner. No matter how mis-matched they seemed before, the pieces were slowly coming together now. "If two people care for eachother deeply then we should be happy for them". 

"Why the hell are you looking at me?" Otae wore a fake smile, a vein popping out of her head out of irritation. "Sure, I'm happy for them. But shouldn't they be a bit more considerate seeing that there are single people in the room?" 

Kyubei had blocked out the voices as her only focus was to watch the content couple sitting together at the corner of the room with their hands intertwind. From where she stood, Kyubei noticed that the way their fingers laced together imperfectly, thumbs carressing the skin, was almost sheepish. They knew who was in the room, but still secretly wished to show some level of affection for eachother without showing off or shoving their relationship in other people's faces. They were a couple in a content and affecfionate place despite the situation and their previous, hostile relationship. And Kyubei couldn't help but long for that. In her head she knew those thoughts were merely ficticious; a pipe dream. But in her heart, she... 

... 

Failing to notice the several pairs of eyes staring directly at them, the private and friendly conversation between Gintoki and Hijikata continued on with this mind-set that they were the only two people in the apartment. 

"...so during those two months, when it snowed at least, I ended up going out much more even after I got sick. Sensei always encouraged me to have fun outside, in the snow, while it was still around". 

"Really? I was encouraged to do the same. I mean, not as a kid because I took care of my Mom, but after I met Kondo-san and when we moved to Tokyo he'd drag me outside with everyone else for fun-no matter what age we were. Nowadays, during Christmas or New Year's we gather 'round and have a drink or two with those who aren't on shift. But I've never built a snowman before". 

"It's...kinda fun if you're with other people and you have gloves to keep your hands from turning blue". 

"Hah...I never really saw you as the type of person who likes the cold". 

"Are you kidding? If I wasn't huddled up to you, I would be freezing my ass off right now. Snow's fun when you're a kid, but as an adult it's a chore, especially if you have places to be and you end up having to drag your feet through it". 

"Mm...True. I especially hate the cold when Sougo thinks it's funny to bring a cooler of snowballs into the station and toss them at me like we're playing dodgeball". 

"Pfft, holy shit...Did he ever get you?" 

"Once or twice, but don't think I'd stand there and take it". Was he implying that he, not only dodged Okita's attacks, but also chased him around the station intending to give the brat a well-deserved knuckle sandwich? Probably. By the look on his face it was probable. 

Hijikata's fingers, the palm of his hand...They were warm and soothing to the touch. Like always...His grip was a little tight, though. While caught up in the pause of their conversation about the snow, upon looking outside and first commenting on the storm, Gintoki noticed these little things. He, too, had noticed the little things about Hijikata recently. His skin was smoother and his heart lay open whenever they conversed about the more detailed memories of their past. Nothing incredibly scarring or traumatic. Mostly their greatest joys and happiest of memories that not many had heard. And he smiled. Through most of those conversations, Hijikata smiled peacefully.

"Hey, Hijikata...". Gintoki very casually rested his chin on Hijikata's broad shoulder, the supple skin of Hijikata's cheek touching his forehead as well as his warm breath tickling his face with a quiet hum in question. 

"Hm...?" 

"Is, er...Is something different about-". 

"Oiiii, are you two homos gonna kiss or what, aru?" 

Gintoki peered up and looked to the direction of the small, tense group seated within the living room. All eyes had been on them for god knows how long, and it only made matters worse that they all had these expecting expressions, like they did expect them to kiss. Such an act was not intended to be performed, especially in front of such a dangerous and nosy audience. 

"Wha-...?! What the hell are you bastards staring at?! Mind your own business!" 

Gintoki wasn't ashamed of being this close to Hijikata while there was company in the room. Not like they were nose kissing or kissing in general. They had a limit to how far their intimacy could go, alright? He didn't blush nor flinch. Not that it did much for Hijikata as he turned his eyes away from his subordinates, one being his most cherished friend. It wasn't a case of being ashamed about Gintoki. He wasn't ashamed at all, but was a little embarrassed to see both Kondo and Okita staring at them googly-eyed as if what they were seeing was nothing new.

"You two are the one's sitting around the corner bein' all cute and lovey-dovey when we're sitting on our asses waiting for the power to come back, aru. Have you no shame, Gin-chan?" 

"How does this affect you?! We're not doing anything wrong!" 

"That's right, Kagura-chan". Otae decided to play the voice of reason, somehow. It was unknown how that idea popped into her head when she's more the chaotic one who struck down all those who opposed her with an iron fist. "Let the happy couple do what they like. But if they started kissing or came out with an engagement announcement...that's a whole other story". 

"For you it is, you psycho woman!" 

"Otae-san, if you're so impatient to be engaged, I'll happily-". 

"I'll happily marry you, Tae-chan! A-as friends, maybe...But I'll still marry you!" 

Kondo and Kyubei once again overlapped eachother in the "I-heart-Otae" aisle, pushing and shoving eachother in line like it was Black Friday (Which Gintoki had heard about from Kagura who's baldy father was travelling around the U.S, thus having knowledge on Black Friday). That reference probably wasn't suitable in Japan, but you get the idea. Kyubei had backed off, claiming her outbursts to be out of friendship whereas the gorilla had no shame. When looking at a likely candidate to at least date a dangerous woman like Otae there were only losers and one rather content same sex, sane couple in the background who used to have it a lot worse in terms of their relationship. Look how much they had grown.

"Gintoki, maybe we should join them before things get too chaotic?" 

"Agreed...". 

As much as they wanted just a little bit of privacy and romance tonight there was nothing like the concept of family and a stalking gorilla to get in the way of that...The stalking gorilla more or less being family to Hijikata, however, but he was discluded from the Sakata family, as was Kyubei. She was more Otae's family than anything, but deep down she wanted much more. It couldn't be helped, and she was awful at hiding it. But Otae was humoring her the whole time, and that hurt too. How would she over-come this? She wondered and she wondered so desperately. And the only person she could ask for advice was, well...The only person she really knew whom was involved in a same sex, happy, healthy relationship. And her eyes were set on asking him when the opportunity presented itself. Tonight may have been the perfect opportunity. "I'll ask him", she told herself. "I'll ask him...". 

... 

For about twenty minutes Gintoki was stuck with the rest of the group, never straying from it, thus never providing an opportunity for Kyubei to approuch him privately. For the full twenty minutes she let the anxiety pass by gradually until she was confident enough to talk about her feelings openly to him. This wasn't the case at least a year ago when Gintoki was single and considered a male unworthy of even offering a friendly handshake to the docile girl who would suddenly get violent towards any man who would come into physical contact with her. Had her opinion of Gintoki changed now that he had found other "interests"? Watching him act so calm and relaxed when with Hijikata, Kyubei couldn't help but long for guidance from this man. When he got up to use the bathroom on the ground floor, Kyubei took this grand opportunity to speak with him in both confidence and confidentiallity. As much as Kyubei despised the thought of keeping secrets from Otae, this was one she absolutely had to keep between Gintoki and herself.

While everyone was wrapped around a discussion about what to do for the rest of the night, inevitably leading to disagreements of some sort, Kyubei waited for Gintoki to exit the bathroom and then she would take her cue to approuch. Without much of an explanation to Otae, who sat right beside her on the sofa, or without context to the rest of the group it would be awkward for her to stand up and approuch Gintoki like it was a matter of life or death. When Gintoki did exit the bathroom, the muffled sound of the toilet flushing acting as her cue to stand up, Kyubei unintentionally gave off the impression that she had to speak with Gintoki desperately. And, in a way, she did. As she may or may not have had the same opportunity, considering the current circumstances. 

At the very sound of the bathroom door creaking open after a pause... 

"E-excuse me, everyone". Kyubei excused herself, stood up and walked over posthaste, although her movements did slow down greatly when Gintoki froze, not knowing why Kyubei was approuching so suddenly. 

"Kyu-chan...?" 

Otae didn't get the chance to ask what she was up to, but for Kyubei that was for the best. Seeing Kyubei approuch Gintoki so eagerly was very unusual. Whenever Gintoki approuched and accidentally laid a hand on Kyubei the response would always be violent with Kyubei yelling at the top of her lungs "don't touch meeeeee!" So this was strange. And that was lightest way of putting it. 

Gintoki had frozen and nearly backed off from Kyubei at her strangely eager approuch. 

"Um, Gin-san...". 

...But as she came further and further towards Gintoki, she slowed down gradually and averted her eyes to the floor around her, clasping her hands together by her knees. Her shoulders slumped and her usual confident demeanor weakened in Gintoki's presence. The hell? That was the only thought to cross his mind at this point, and of course he had no idea what to think right now. This was sudden, not to mention unusual. 

"Y-yeah, Kyubei? What's up?" 

"I...I, um...I need to speak with you privately. It's important and, frankly, I'd feel more comfortable if Tae-chan wasn't nearby, in case she heard". 

Must have been serious if Kyubei was requesting to have a private conversation with Gintoki. And to appear so anxious...The only way to find out why she was suddenly acting so reserved, asking to speak with Gintoki privately...Well, he had to hear her out. What reason did he have to say no? Not like they were going anywhere.

"Okay...Sure. Let's, uh, use the spare room over there. Tell me what's on your mind, although I don't know if I can be of much help". 

"N-no, I'm sure you will be. I can't ask anyone else-especially...T-Tae-chan...". Kyubei whispered cautiously. Although Gintoki didn't understand, he would very soon. If she was asking him personally then he didn't have much ofma choice. In fact, although he didn't say it, he would have liked to help Kyubei. But the fact that she was keeping it private from Otae...That only raised more questions on Gintoki's part. 

... 

The spare room originally set up to store novels and issues of Jump was slowly coming together as a sort of den. A single sofa and armchairs had been delivered a couple weeks ago, displayed by the wall under the one and only window in the entire room. Many more preparations were to be made, but so far a place to be seated was all that was needed right now. This was a "you should take a seat and listen to what I have to say" situation. And they did. Both Gintoki and Kyubei took a seat with the shrouded moonlight above the storm staring at them with a dim light. The wind could be heard whooshing and whisperint against the window but was not at all distracting. Being the only two people in the room, Kyubei was able to take a big intake of breath before exhaling in a relaxing sigh. Although her one good eye remained lowered to the ground, her fingers intertwind with eachother under the pressure of opening up-to Gintoki of all people-she was still capable of speaking her mind. She was capable of looking on instead of hiding in the corner with her troubles and true feelings. Must have been Otae's influence that brought her out of such a dark and insecure shell, mainly revolving around her gender and decisions. But anyway... 

"Gin-sa-...Gintoki...This is something I have always kept to myself, even from Tae-chan. And right now you're the only person I can turn to. Do you...know where I'm going with this at all?" 

"...I've got an idea. But go on. I'm listening". Kyubei had really forced herself to come out and ask Gintoki for advice. If she had really thought it through with confidence then there was doubt that she would hesitate and tense up like this. "Look, if you're unsure then-". 

"It's fine...!" Yet she persisted, and continued to force herself to talk. "I won't...I don't know if I'll get this chance again. If I don't talk to you now I never will. This is the most shaken up I've ever been since I was a child. After growing up I became much stronger, but I still have fears and uncertainties-like anyone else. And I need advice from someone who somewhat understands how I feel. Please, Gintoki...I have to know...What is it like to...be in love with someone of the same sex?" 

This was expected. Her wording, however, was not thus Gintoki fell still and silent as Kyubei was under the pretense that there was a more deeper connection between Gintoki and Hijikata than what...currently was. From simply seeing how they interacted, she assumed that it was "love" and that sent shudders rippling along Gintoki's ribcage at the thought. She had the wrong idea. In any case, Gintoki wasn't going to go as far as to call his relationship with Hijikata...Well, you get the idea by now. 

"Kyubei, you have the wrong idea there. Take it easy". 

"Pardon? Am I...wrong in any way?" 

"Agh...Well...Y'see, what I have with Hijikata is more...We like eachother. I've explained this a million times. We like eachother very much, but we wouldn't go as far as to say that it's...love. You understand?" 

"O-oh...I'm sorry. I just assumed...". 

"N-no, it's okay. Really, you haven't been around us that often, so you couldn't have known that we're not like...Well, we're pretty close and have a pretty deep relationship, but I wouldn't say it's that deep...A-anyway...". 

"Um, then let me re-phrase: What is it like to be intimate with someone of the same sex? I'm old enough to understand adult relationships, so I understand the level of intimacy that adults go to. Does it feel strange at all to be with another man like that? Isn't it odd to you?" 

Kyubei was insecure about these things. The way she was raised, as a man, she was taught certain things regarding her gender and how to treat other people of the oppsoite or same sex. In other words, being raised as a man she was taught to marry a woman and play a male role. Kyubei shows no interest of having a relationship with a man nor a woman. As far as everyone knew, the only person she loved was Otae. But knowing how Otae saw her as a friend, of course she would be insecure about her feelings, as if were strange to love another woman. But that was only an assumption made by Gintoki on the spot, when looking at Kyubei's expression to see all the negative emotions mixed together. She had little confidence about how she should feel, right? Before getting to that point, Gintoki had a question answer. He sat back on the sofa, thinking about this. It didn't take a lot of thought to find an answer. 

"It did feel strange...". 

"...". 

"Before all of this, I was a heterosexual young guy looking for a nice young lady to spend some time with. I had no interest in dating or creating a relationship with anyone. It's still the same as before, kind of. Hijikata is a guy. And you'd think I'd be less willing to go out with him, huh?" 

"Yes, I suppose". 

"But somewhere along the way, after we talked and got to know eachother better we...We had our first kiss before even having any kind of relationship aside from one hostile, sometimes violent, rivalry. Even now I wonder how it came to this, only to find myself stuck in the present rather than looking back. It was strange, though. Instead of acting cool and charming, like I acted around women, I found myself arguing and spitting insults at him. Instead of looming over the women I was attracted to for a kiss I found myself looking him right in the eyes, eventually being the one receiving a kiss rather than giving it. And from there we established something. Unsure of how we felt we both went on our first ever date, with anyone, and now...here we are".

He made it sound so simple. But the truth was that coming to terms with those feelings about somene of the same sex is never easy. Gintoki still considered himself to be heterosexual, refraining from using the label "straight". Hijikata was the exception. He was the only person who appealed to Gintoki differently from all the women he had met, drank with or slept with. Recently he stood out so much in Gintoki's eyes, like there was something totally different about him. Uh...Shit, he got side-tracked from the conversation. 

"Was it not...difficult to come to terms with those things?" 

"Of course it was. I'm a heterosexual guy going out with another heterosexual guy. You think that doesn't feel strange? It does...It felt very strange, almost like I was doing something wrong. But in our case gender doesn't matter anymore. I see Hijikata as he is and...I like him for that. I began to care about him a lot more than I used to, y'see...Hm, seems so long ago, seeing how far we've come. But I'm wondering...". 

"...?" 

"Do you want the same thing to be said for you and Otae?" 

"I...I honestly...". Kyubei was not caught off her usual defensive guard. She was merely nervous, but wanted to come to terms with these things just as Gintoki had come to terms with how he currently felt about Hijikata. "I...ca-can't deny that fact, can I?" Kyubei crumbled before Gintoki; her true feelings, at least. Right before his eyes Kyubei shivered and lowered her head as if ashamed of herself. "I...I do still love Tae-chan as more than...As more than a friend...I can't deny that at all...". What was there to be ashamed of, really? Nothing. Nothing at all. 

The first time Kyubei expressed her feelings was through a forced promise from childhood and the forced idea of an arranged marriage, which was traditional in the Yagyuu family despite this day and age. Although her feelijgs were genuine, the methods for winning Otae's heart were somewhat wrong. Having a much closer relationship with both Otae and the people around her, wasn't there away to express her feelings in a more natural way? 

"Do you think it's wrong to love her as a woman?" 

"Pardon...?" 

"You know what I said. As another woman, do you think it's wrong of you to love Otae romantically?" 

"I...It's hard to say. Although I agree with the concept of same sex couples, I'm conflicted when it comes to my own personal feelings and my gender. I was raised to fall in love and marry a woman someday, acting as a man in both body and mind. Otae has brought back my confidence as a woman, even though I always feel more comfortable in men's clothing...Do I think it's wrong to feel this way? Not necessarily. But I hold back from expressing those feelings properly, knowing well enough that Otae has no interest in women. But seeing how you and Hijikata-san started...It makes me wonder if I can have the same with her, as an exception, as someone whom she truely loves as a woman and not just as a friend". 

"Is that so?" 

"Gintoki, tell me honestly: do you think I stand a chance?" 

Gintoki couldn't say so himself. He couldn't make any promises, certainly. His job, as a friend, was to support Kyubei, encourage her to give it her all while holding her head high and embracing the truth when it looked her dead in the eye. 

"I won't tell you that you don't stand a chance, but I can't tell you how another person may or may not feel either, Kyubei. But you can't hide away. If you have all of these emotions piling up, filling your heart to the brim, then it's only right that you let them out and express them honestly. Whether either of you are male or female, it shouldn't matter. If you love Otae as a person, then you tell her that. Whether she accepts those feelings or not shouod determine the next step. Use that as a stepping stone to move on and find romance or love or whatever elsewhere. And if she does actually accept your feelings, sincerely, then...Well, I'm not gonna promise or predict anything. That's for you to find out on your own, right?"

Gintoki had these moments when he expressed words of wisdom, smiling some of the time even when he was being one hundred percent serious. Right now, in Kyubei's perspective this man had changed significantly since their first meeting. Perhaps he was still the same cool and smooth, collected and even wise Gintoki Sakata that she first met. But right now he radiated this glow of kindess and care that she had not witnessed in his dead fish eyes. Even they somewhat glowed under the night skies dim rays of light. And Kyubei had gained a lot more respect for him. 

"Gintoki...I'll do my best...For Otae and myself, I'll try my best". 

"Good to hear. Now, we should get out there before they start a riot. The tension in here is as suffocating as having a plastic bag tied around your head". 

Gintoki led the way out to the main room where all eyes shifted to the spare room's doors and all present wondered what they were discussing in there. But, for some reason, Kyubei walked out with a reassured smile. Otae didn't ask once Kyubei had made herself comfortable on the sofa. She stayed quiet. And although Kyubei had kept this private, she was smiling and, for that, Otae smiled too. All she asked was... 

"Is everything okay, Kyu-chan?" 

"Uh...Yeah. Everything's fine...". 

Gintoki walked his own path towards his desk where Hijikata occupied himself. He leaned his rear on the desk and was joined by Gintoki, side-by-side at a fair distance away from everyone else. Somehow they managed to slip away when Kagura had disappeared to her room. Hijikata had kindly saved Gintoki's blanket when he originally went to the bathroom. He draped it over Gintoki's back, adjusting it for warmth and comfort. 

"Thanks...". He muttered, sitting back on the desk, watching over the group as they conversed, on the verge of getting into more disagreements. 

"...I'm not gonna ask what that was all about. I assume it was between you and that Yagyuu kid". 

"Exactly. Glad to know I'm not dating a nosy bastard". 

"Tsk...Yeah, well...I know you would never pry into my business unless you felt something was really bothering me. I'd do the same for you". 

"...I know".

During their quiet moment together there came an eager sound of stomping down the staircase. All eyes pointed to Kagura as she re-joined the group with a rather big box tucked under her arm. She appeared confident, and had taken the initiative in deciding how everyone could occupy their time until the power returned. They had some food, the water supply hadn't been affected yet. Now it was a case of keeping their sanity until the morning, when the power would inevitably be fixed. And, according to Kagura, there lay a perfect sollution buried in the built-in closet within her very own bedroom. 

"Everyone, I have a sollution. Since conversation doesn't work, I know a different way for us all to get annoyed at eachother. Twister™!" 

Kagura held up the board game's box, provoking several unenthusiastic groans and grumbles from the group. Even through the darkness the colourful display of mat and the different coloured spots was obnoxious. And for such a group to play such a stress-enducing game... 

"China Girl, do you want us to kill eachother that badly?" Okita asked this, despite finding a fondness for the idea. 

Twister™ was basically putting yourself in a more uncomfortable situation than in a packed train. Considering that there were more men than women in this group, it would be very uncomfortable indeed. If Kondo was put on the same round with Otae, he would be beaten to a pulp for coming into any physical contact with her. If Okita and Kagura were put on the same round it wouldn't be Twister™ anymore. It would turn into a round of Street Fighters™. If Kyubei was put into the same round with any man, each one would be thrown across the room and all, including Kyubei, would be disqualified. Even Monopoly™ or Sorry!™ is less stress enducing, although both teach you how to be a smug dick. 

"I don't have a problem with it as long as I'm with Tae-chan, but...". Kyubei averted her eyes from Otae for a second, then raised her head again. "I prefer UNO". Don't we all? 

"I don't mind as long as it's with Otae-san either, but...". Kondo also averted his eyes from Otae, then he too raised his head and crossed his arms. "I prefer Magical Banana". 

"Uh, Kondo-san, that doesn't count as a reference to your gorilla persona, y'know". Hijikata sighed. He wanted to stay out of this game too but... 

"Hijikata-san, why don't you play?" But Okita had to pull him into it. "I'm sure Danna wouldn't mind if it was with you". 

"Sougo, don't be ridiculous. Gintoki wouldn't-...". Realising that Gintoki was right next to him, Hijikata met his eyes in the middle and was unaware of how eager those eyes were until now. "You...You can't be serious...". 

"Hijikata, the most mature people can handle getting tangled up with another person in a game of Twister™. If they can handle that, then who's to say they won't be tangled together for life?" 

"You just want an excuse to get into an awkward position with me, don't you?!" 

"Okay! Okay!" Setting the board game's box down by her feet, Kagura clapped her hands together to gain everyone's attention. "To make it fair for everyone, we'll split people into group's of three and switch. That way we can avoid being stuck with the sadists and the gorilla if we don't want to be". 

"Why am I being treated like an outcast here?! You make it sound like I'm the smelly kid in class or something!" 

"Gorilla, you are the smelly kid. In school, nobody wanted to hold your hand on field trips or be on your team for baseball. Am I right, aru?" 

"No, you're not! Don't assume things like that! It's cruel!" 

"Can we just pick teams already?" 

... 

"Oi, how come the Mayora is with Kyu-chan?" Kagura looked over the hastily scribbled list of teams that they made, as did Okita-being the one who made it. The way they organised it, Hijikata was going to end up in a team with Kyubei. "She can't stand being touched by men so..." 

"Hm? Oh, I know. I just wanna see him getting thrown across the room by that girl". Of course he did. Big surprise from the Mayora-hating sadist. 

The first team for the very first round was decided: Team one. The "board" was laid out across the floor behind the living room sofa, and chairs from the dining table was displayed for bystanders to sit and watch the first team fail horribly. Three grown men of minimal flexibility playing a game where flexibility was everything could only lead to disaster and sprained joints. Okita volunteered to spin the dial, indicating which hand or foot landed on which coloured tile. That, too, could only lead to disaster when Hijikata and the other two men on the board would become the sadist's play-things. 

"Okay, Danna can go first". Okita pun the dial. It spun and the hand gradually slowed down before landing on "right foot, red". "Right foot, red, Danna". Only just starting, going through the boring stages, Okita sat back with an unamused gaze as Gintoki placed his foot on the correct tile. 

Spinning it again at Kondo's turn, the hand landed on "left hand blue". Hijikata then had to place his left foot on green, so on ajd so forth. Anyone could say that the very beginning of Twister was mundane, if you were a bystander, whereas it was more relaxing for the players. But eventually all good things must come to an end and the real excitement of the game would begin. Soon enough the relaxing commands of "right foot, yellow" and "right hand, blue" had turned into a task; the task of stretching over someone or reaching under them in order to touch the correct tile. And eventually, all three men found themselves in locked positions: a struggle to escape from with every new command. And it only got more interesting, mostly on Okita's part. 

Kondo was somehow forced underneath both opponents with his left hand on far red tile, his right hand reaching for a blue tile on the far, opposite side thus pushing his shoulder in Hijikata's. Both feet however were safe on two green tiles. Hijikata was squished into the very middle with his ribcage and back pressing into eachother as if compressed by a corset. His right hand was gripping and clawing into a green tile while his right leg was going numb from quivering on a yellow tile. His left hand was stuck on another yellow tile with his shoulder aching from Gintoki's weight. And his left leg was only just touching a blue tile by his toes. Gintoki was fairly lucky to be on top, having the top of Hijikata's ass in his face. But his limbs could only take so much, being the least out of all men to be fit and healthy for this. His left leg was pressed against Hijikata's shoulder, which explained the pain, with his foot at a yellow tile while his right foot was on the green tile. Both hands were safe on two blue tiles, but his turn came after Hijikata's so no one could tell if this was his limit. All men were hot and sweating under the pressure of being crushed. What made things worse was that two of them were very, very competitve with eachother. 

"O-oi, Hijikata-kun...Enough already. If you just fall on top of the gorilla, I can win and we all get to sit out, yeah?" 

"H-hell no...I'm waiting for you to stand up and give in! You have the easiest way outta this you asshole!". 

"Will you two stop fighting? We can all get out of this situatuon together. Gin-san, you should stand up and then Toshi stands up, then I will and we can all give in". 

"Screw that, ya stupid gorilla! If me and Hijikata get up and give in then you're the winner because you're the last man standing!" 

"Kondo-san, you're better than this". 

"I know, Toshi. But it was certainly worth a shot...If it comes down to it, however, I will lose for you, Toshi. You know I would...". 

"Kondo-san...". 

"Why the hell are you bastards getting into a deep conversation now?! Oi, Okita-kun~, how long are ya gonna sit there instead of spinning the damn dial?" 

"I just wanna soak this in for a bit". Okita was smirking, pleased with his work. The other three men playing vitctim to this game...Not so much. 

"Cut it out and spin the dial! You want me to slap you silly?! Wait until it's your turn, asshole! Now spin the dial!" 

"Tch...Fine...Hijikata, right foot green". 

"Huh?! That's impossible! Did you even spin the dial?" He didn't. 

"Of course I did. Now right foot green". Okita did not spin the dial. 

"You're not very convincing! Spin it properly!" 

"Right. Foot. Green. Hijikata-san~". This was cruel. Too cruel. 

"Oi, Sadist, spin it properly. Play fair for the Mayora". Kagura was sticking up for Hijikata, it seemed. That was certainly different. Okita rolled his eyes and spun the dial for real, as much as he wanted Hijikata to suffer even more. What a pain, right? 

"Right foot green". 

"Huuuh?!" 

"It even says here, "right foot, green". Look". Okita held up the board, and cleary the hand had landed on "right foot, green" for some horrible reason. That was fixed...It was fixed, right? "Come on, Hijikata-san, we haven't got all night".

Hijikata was struggling to keep his cool, never mind his balance. As his superior, Hijikata already despised the thought of being ordered around by Okita, especially with such a smug look on his face as Hijikata had no choice but to follow. Struggling, Hijikata brought his right foot forward. His whole leg shook and quivered, his knee bending just to reach. His body swayed, and the joint of his leg began to cramp up. 

"Ah-ow! F-fuck...S-Sougo, I can't hold this position! Hurry up and-ach! Uwaah!" 

"Oh! Shit! Hijika-aah!" 

"Gyaah...!" 

The pressure pushed Hijikata forward due to his awkward position, and came tumbling with both Gintoki and Kondo. All three men collapsed to the ground one on top of the other in hot, exhausted heap. No winners here, just three losers. 

"A-are you guys alright?!" Shinpachi was prepared to come to their aid, as Kagura was. They stepped in for about a second before Gintoki was the first to get up, slowly, groaning in pain. "Gin-san...!" 

"Ohhh, god...Ugh...Ah, Hijikata? Oi, are you-...Hijikata?" Gintoki loomed over Hijikata, seeing as he had collapsed onto his face with his forehead against the hardwood floor. He shook him by the shoulders, scooping his arm underneath to raise him off the ground. "Hiji-...!" 

"Ugh...". Lucky, Hijikata managed to get up on his own. Gintoki still took precautions with his arm acting as a rest for Hijikata's torso. Hijikata held his forehead in his hand, groaning in pain. 

"Oi, are you okay?" 

"I'm fine...I just hit my head and-...gh! Ah...". Hijikata hissed and grimaced as the pain squeezed his legs like thick, rusty clamps. "I might have cramped up my leg too much...Ugh...Is Kondo-san alright?" Kondo lay in the same position, flat on his face and barely conscious due to the impact on his ribs, legs and head. 

"Nevermind the gorilla. Is your ankle or foot sprained or...?" 

"No, don't be stupid. My leg's just...cramped up". 

"Well, okay...Listen up, I'm gonna take Hijikata to bed to rest up. You guys can continue the game if you want but take it easy, alright?" 

Gintoki helped Hijikata to his feet, or more accurately he helped him to one of his feet. Gintoki was carrying the both of them here until Hijikata's leg relaxed and was releaved of strain. It was a journey just traversing up a flight of steps. Thank god for the banisters to keep Hijikata steady. In the background, everyone could be heard setting up a new game with Kondo dragging himself out of the scene with a sore head and sore everything else. Had they forgotten about him? Seriously? Hell they almost forgot to put Shinpachi into a team, but come on, guys. 

Kondo, on the other hand was struggling on his own to get up. He groaned in pain, barely able to raise his head. With a deep sigh, Otae walked towards him and helped him up.

"Honestly. This is why adults shouldn't play children's games. Shin-chan, could you help me out?" 

"Uh, s-sure, Sis'...". 

How unusual for Otae to help the gorilla. Even if he was a stalker, her conscience probably wouldn't leave her alone. If he was really in a daze from hitting his head, it was likely he wouldn't remember this anyway. But...He wasn't in a daze. He pretended. Secretly blissful from receiving Otae's help, he remained quiet, and for a second he hid a smile and refrained from calling out her name, thinking he had gotten through to her somehow. He hadn't. Otae was simply showing good will for once. 

... 

Taking Hijikata upstairs and into the bedroom was not an easy task. At some point during their "hike", Gintoki thought he might actually have to lift Hijikata off the ground and carry him like a bride in his arms. Neither of them had the physical or emotional strength for that. Gintoki had gone to the trouble of placing the pillows upright, fluffing them once Hijikata had taken a seat on the bed's edge. It was then a case of swerving his legs around carefully with a pillow under the cramped one. It was hard not to groan or hiss as the cramp seeped into Hijikata's muscle and bone. But Gintoki rubbed his arm affectionately and reminded him softly to take it easy and relax like "a good boy". To which Hijikata shot him a glare, annoyed by his wording like he was a child who scraped his knee on the playground and was making a bigger fuss than necessary.

"Rest for a bit. I'd get some ice for the cramp and your head, but...y'know". No power, no electricity, no fridge, no ice. Oh, he did know... 

"How come you brought me all the way upstairs? I could've used the sofa". 

"Do you wanna be stuck in the same room with the sadist while you're injured?" 

"Ah...Yeah, good point". 

"I thought you'd be a bit sharper than that". 

"N-no, I get it. I guess I just...I didn't expect you to go through so much trouble over a cramp. That's all it is, and a sore head, but it's nothing...". 

"It isn't nothing. I used to get leg cramps in high school 'cause our teacher was a hard-ass on the track field. I wasn't used to stretching or running long distances so my legs would cramp up. It hurt like hell but at least I had an excuse to go see the hot nurse for some stretch therapy-ow!" 

With the heel of his hand and a face of disapproval, Hijikata smacked Gintoki's forehead. 

"I didn't need to know about that". 

"Uh, ouch...I'm kiddin', so relax...".

"...". 

Did he really bother Hijikata that much when we spoke about attractive women like that? It did. Clear as day. And, his school nurse? Really? Yes, it was a joke but... Hijikata told himself to let it go, otherwise his headache would worsen into the hot and heavy, annoying headaches that refuse to go away, even with painkillers. Despite his crude joke, Gintoki leaned his focus and attention on Hijikata by gently running his hand over the cramped up knee. 

"We'll probably have to stretch this out and massage it to ease the pain. In all seriousness, the school nurse-whether it was a woman or a man-would always stretch my leg and put pressure on the muscles to ease it. I have some experience with...massaging. But you knew that. I'll give it my best, so relax. If I hurt you, it's not intentional. You know I'd never hurt you on purpose, right?" 

"...Yeah. Y-yeah, I know you wouldn't". 

How peculiar. The same feeling arose in Hijikata's mind as his eyes focused on Gintoki's expression. He was currently radiating with this sweet side he never showed. It wasn't a sensitive or fragile side, but more caring and reassuring. He didn't want to hurt Hijikata...For a sadist like Gintoki to be saying that, Hijikata was almost lost for words. Ever since that late evening, under the shower head, his clothes sticking to his body, his eyes met with Gintoki's...That caring side was more open and tender. Gintoki hadn't changed. Simply put, he had opened up this gateway blocking out these feelings, this caring side. Caring, attentive and strong: that was Gintoki. 

Softly, Gintoki kneaded his hands over Hijikata's leg muscles and the pain surfaced in faint throbs along the bone and joint. He barely reacted, however. It wasn't as painful as the moment he received this cramp. Gintoki was really working his magic like a professional. It was not his occupation, but Hijikata had to admit that he had some level of skill. The questioned remained as to where he learned these skills exactly, but Gintoki's uncomfortablity with such a question showed that it was better left unanswered. 

"How is it?" Gintoki asked, still focused on the task itself. 

"Good...It feels goo-...It, er...It doesn't hurt, I mean". 

"Hm? I thought you were gonna admit how good it feels". 

"You're imaging things". 

"Oh, really?" Cupping Hijikata's cheek, it was very clear that that red stain painted across his flushed face was not bogus nor imaginary. "You look pretty embarrassed by your own statement. How cute...". 

"...!" There he goes again, calling Hijikata cute. He had his caring side, but this sort of teasing would always remain the same. Not that it was a nuisance...Embarrassing, yes, but never a nuisance to Hijikata. 

"Stay relaxed. If I stretch out your leg and it doesn't help, we'll have to put pressure on it. I'll help with that too, though". So reserved yet so caring...It was always a nice change of pace, seeing him act like this once in a while. It was different. 

"...I knew there was something different about you, y'know". 

"Hm? What do you mean "different"?" 

"I-it's hard to explain...I suppose...You openly act caring towards me, when before you were so subtle when you acted caring". 

"Is that so?" 

"Plus you're so considerate and you seem more and more attentitve towards me and the whole time I stupidly ask myself..."why?" That night when you pulled me into the shower and hugged me, I could already see something...different. Not so much new, but different...I'm probably talking shit to you, but...". 

Gintoki didn't take his time to process all that. Rather, he smiled and continued to caress Hijikata's cheek with his thumb softly and affectionately. 

"Hm...It's funny how two disagreeable guys like us think so much alike". 

"...". 

"I've been thinking the same about you, too, y'know. Don't just assume that I don't believe you...You seemed different too, somehow, but I guess that's just it. They're the reasons I've grown to like you so much". 

"Gintoki...Um...Wh-what exactly do you-ahem...N-no, nevermind, I-". 

"What? You wanna know what I like about you?" 

"N-no, it's-...Not at all. Don't make me smack you again. And wipe that smug look off your face before I do it for you". 

"Aw, Hijikata. You know those threats aren't very intimidating after you said something so endearing just now. So cute...". 

"A-and quit calling me c-cute!" 

"Haha...You're stammering~". 

Gintoki had pulled himself in closer, reveling in Hijikata adorable outburst of embarrassment and perhaps slight regret for what he said. They had been so open with eachother in the past that Hijijata was blind to his own words and Gintoki's reactions that he didn't know when he should stop talking. Gintoki was still sadistic and a tease. And how he acted recently made Hijikata feel safe and secure when expressing his feelings. He didn't believe stuff like teasing would ever happen again. 

"Gintoki...!" 

"Tsk tsk tsk...Haah, your face is too precious. Okay...I'll stop". 

"Will you?" 

"Mm-hm. I don't need to bully you to show that I like you. I thought that was obvious. Only inexperienced boys push the girls they like into muddy puddles". 

"Who're you callin' a girl?" 

"No one...I'm not calling you a girl...". 

Silence. Naturally. The discussion sort of ended there with nothing left on their minds. Gintoki massaged Hijikata's leg still without another word. He was smiling faintly, and soon enough he opened his mouth again. 

"You know...I do like to see you embarrassed, Hijikata". Yeah, he knew that already. "But you should know that...I don't mean to cause you any real discomfort or humiliation. The reason why I suggest different things in the bedroom is because we should try our options and have new experiences, right?" 

"...? How come you're bringing this up all of a sudden?" 

"It was on my mind. I've been experienced with women, we know this but...The truth is that I've never made suggestions to any of them, aside from drawing their portraits". 

"Is that...so? Why're you telling me this anyway?" 

"It's true that I get excited by the concept of bondage or dominant/submissive stuff, but I believe those things should be practiced outta trust. If one person isn't comfortable or open with it then... Well, I know how you're not yet I keep bringing in new things to try, and I'm honestly sorry for that. But the thought of doing anything intimate with you is more exciting than I could ever have imagined, whether it's experimental or just vanilla. It makes my heart race...imagining that you're feeling good because of me...". 

"...". Hijikata was astonished. Gintoki was talking about these...things, but not in a perverted or sadistic sense. It was intimate and quite open. His eyes were shining under the shrouded room, his cheeks radiating a very faint shade of red. 

"Ah...Kinda weird to bring up, I know. But recently it feels like if I don't say something now, to you, then I never will say it". Gintoki carressed Hijikata's cheek, brushing his thumb to warm skin. "Aha...You're still blushing...You really are cute. It's pretty hard to keep my cool around you at times, y'know?" 

"Hah, I should be saying that. All you ever do is mess with my head". Hijikata ruffled Gintoki's hair playfully to emphasise this, provoking some laughter. 

"Hey, cut it out. I'm not a kid...Not in body and mind, anyway". 

"Yeah, well, you do act like a kid at times...But, I suppose...Haa, I suppose it's one of the things I like...a-about you". Hijikata voice trailed off, quieter and quieter. But his eyes remained focused on Gintoki's, his faint blush still pretty visible in the darkness. 

"Hijikata...You have to stop being so freakin' precious. I mean it, it's driving me nuts". But he was smiling, unable to hide it. Hijikata was self-conscious, however. He had never been labeled precious by anyone except for Gintoki, and so his blush flared. "Hm...Okay. I suppose I should let you rest your leg, huh?" 

"Uh...Yeah, I suppose". Leaving so soon? Hijikata wished to ask, but the moment couldn't drag on like this. 

"I'll come back to check on things, but you should probably try stretching your leg to ease it. Okay? Uh, here, I'll also help with these". 

Gintoki very carefully pulled the blankets up from under Hijikata's legs and draped them over instead for warmth. In addition, he draped an extra blanket around his back and shoulders since he was sitting up. This was mainly Hijikata's side of the bed, thus a copy of Gintoki's novel would be hidden inside the end table for Hijikata to read. He got peace and quiet and an excuse to avoid playing Twister with everyone. 

"See ya in a bit, okay?" Gintoki caressed Hijikata cheek, sneaking in a quick kiss on the corner of his lips before standing up and leaving the room. 

Hijikata sat there, taken aback and a little coy from the moment. His eyes were focused and serious, his smile gone, but his blushing face lingering around like a fresh scent dosed into the air. He sighed, grasping one hand with the other. As trivial as it may seem, Gintoki did in fact open up with something fairly big and astonishing. ("It makes my heart race...imagining that you're feeling good because of me")...was what he said with a bashful gaze and unfitting blush. Hijikata took a calming breath, reaching for the novel buried within the end table drawer. He had to occupy his thoughts for a while. Even so, Gintoki's words sruck with him and he wondered if he had gotten the wrong impression of Gintoki whenever he makes these "suggestions". He thought it was his usual perverted self, but...And, yes, when suggesting certain objects in the bedroom would give that relentless impression, however...It was certain concepts and ideas that excited Gintoki, such as bondage. The fact that he believed it should be done with trust and care...He made it sound so easy. Perhaps...Perhaps Hijikata thought he had been too stubborn and quick to judge (cut the toys out of your mind. Always cut out the toys). Maybe there were others, experimental ways they could be intimate and mutally enjoy it. 

A weird topic to bring up, considering recent events when more deep-seated feelings came to the surface. But...If it was something that would bring them closer...Did Hijikata want to be closer to Gintoki? Were there really new heights for that? Grasping the front cover, dazed in thought and curiosity, Hijikata wondered if...If he should say something. If he should stop being stubborn and...if he should get closer to Gintoki. 

... 

Gintoki returned to the scene, freezing in place when looking down upon the scene below the upstairs hallway. It wasn't total chaos, but it was definitely a whole other scene from when he left it. For some reason, instead of playing the game with teams moving in order, as agreed, we had, for some reason, Kagura, Okita and Shinpachi playing Twister, trapped in a bind with their arguments and insults reaching Gintoki's ears. 

"Oi! What the hell is going on down there?!" He called out from above, gaining a few gazes from bystanders. 

"Well, it's quite simple...". Otae volunteered to explain the situation, smiling as if two kids were not about to rip eachother's throats out over a board game. "Kagura-chan and Okita-san got into a dispute about the game and took our team's places. Not that I or Kyu-chan mind. We don't wanna end up like Hijikata-san, y'know? Speaking of which, is he alright?" 

"Yeah, he's fine". Looking down at the scene once more Gintoki sighed and thought "screw being orderly and organised with suitable teams that were less likely to fight. This was how they were. No changing that. 

"Ack! Ge-get your butt outta my face, stupid sadist! You're cheating, aru!" 

"How am I cheating? This is the position I was put it. It's not my fault". Withna slight nudge and a smirk, Okita swayed back and... 

"Ack! Eww! You are cheating! You just put your butt in my face! You wanna die?!" 

"Oki-ack! Okita-san...Maybe you shouldn't provoke Kagura-chan so much...". Shinpachi was nearing his limit after being trapped between these two for so long and he couldn't stop frantically wondering why he was put in this position until he became tired, giving up on the spot but not in the game because, wel, he couldn't move. 

"Yeah! Listen to the four-eyes!" 

"You listen to the four-eyes! Why the hell are you nudging his leg?! You trying to make him trip and fall?!" 

"Kagura-chan, please do so. I can't take this anymore...". 

"Ha! See?! You might as well give up! Huhuhu...I'm the winner of Twister! Always! Huhuhu..Hahaha!-uwah! Aaaaah!" 

Before the next move was announced, Kagura had already reached her limit in her limbs while her mind and her mouth spouted cocky thoughts. She collapsed with a slight nudge from Okita, landing on her side. Shinpachi then took the opportunity to fall flat on his side and give up. With that, Okita had won. He didn't look too happy, as if he had expected a clean, but not so clean, victory. However, as soon as he looked down at Kagura, quite literally, he grinned a wide and menacing grin. 

"Looks like I win, China Girl. And I was beginning to worry that you'd keep a clean win record for a silly board game". 

"Oh, so you do wanna die, aru?! Bring it! Bring it all oooon!"

Anyone in the room would think that the two would clash heads again, although everyone could say that it was never as bad as Gintoki's old clashes with Hijikata on a side-walk of a random streets with stangers and innocent bystanders staring in fear. Ah, those were the days best left in the past...almost. 

"Don't fight, you two. Shin-chan's already in enough shock from being trapped underneath you". Otae picked her little brother up from the floor. Had he passed out? Had he stopped breathing? No. He was, in fact, just in shock and in pain. 

"Maybe Twister isn't the best family-friendly game". 

"No shit, Gorilla-san". Gintoki spouted, scratching the back of his head. 

"Do you have to keep calling me a Gorilla?" 

"If you wanna occupy your time then you should play something like UNO. Sure the trick cards teach ya how to be a dick and single someone out, but you all have pretty big backbones. You'll manage". 

"You're not gonna play, Gin-chan?" 

"Nah, I'll watch". 

"Awh, come on~. It's no fun without you". Was Kagura talking crap just so he could be the guy who gets singled out by trick cards? 

"C'mon, Gin-san. It couldn't hurt". Even Kondo was on board. But was he the type to flood someone with trick cards in UNO? No. He was the nicest member of the group who's new to the game and naïve about the rules. He wouldn't be so smug. 

"It'll be fun. Much more fun than tackling and struggling over eachother, right?" Otae was definitely the salty one! The one to get violent if anyone uses a trick card on her! If she has to pick up four more cards because someone thought they were being smart and confident-they're wrong. That's death. Death! 

"A-actually, I'm gonna check on Hijikata soon and maybe give him company. So I'll just sit back and watch for now. The rest of you kids...and Kondo, I guess, can have fun playing a nice, friendly game of UNO". 

He didn't want to play of Otae was in the game. He wanted to remain at a safe distance and then take the opportunity to sit with Hijikata and just talk. Although, Gintoki knew that it didn't feel right with only one person missing. If this game really was going to turn out fun, nice and family-friendly then it couldn't hurt to have Hijikata join in with everyone else. One big happy fucking family, was it? Sure was in the right moments. No sarcasm. 

... 

Everyone had lost track of time. Losing sight of wireless clocks or watches, they instead indulged in a game of UNO around the dining table. Cards were stacked neatly for the time being but would soon pile up in a disorganised fashion as players tried to get rid of all cards first. It was slow and quiet at first. Not a lot was said and no one was faced with a trick card as of yet. While everyone had gathered around, Okita was crouched in the corner of the kitchen when he was supposed to pick up some potato chips from the cupboards. How odd. 

"Sougo, what're you doing over there?" Kondo was the first to ask, picking up his cards as he curiously watched Okita crouch in silence. 

"You, Danna, you have a cockrouch running around your kitchen". 

"Then get rid of it. There's bug spray in one of the bottom cupboards". Gintoki had no problems with this. Bugs, such as cockrouches were nothing new and nothing to be afraid of, but Kagura, on the other hand, would sharply disagree. 

"Yeah, get rid of it already! Don't have it crawling around the floor! And get your ass over here already!" 

Everyone waited for Okita to return to the table with a couple bags of potato chips and a dead cockrouch left in the trash. Gintoki sat back, outside of the group, glancing towards the bedroom door every now and then before giving in to temptation. When Okita did return, he slapped his knees and stood. The game paused, all eyes on him for a moment. 

"I'm gonna go see Hijikata. You guys continue. I might play later, if I find Hijikata alseep...". He left, and the game continued. But Gintoki's sudden leave, and his reason to do so, had automatically struck up a group conversation. 

"Gin-san really does care about Tosshi, doesn't he?" This was a fact, Kondo. But he couldn't stop this warm feeling, knowing that someone other than himself cared about Hijikata, but in a somewhat deeper and a more intimate sense. 

"Of course he does, aru". Kagura continued, putting down her trick card to reverse turns, going in the opposite direction. "Gin-chan doesn't say it, but he's pretty caring. And when it comes to the Mayora...". 

"China Girl, I don't wanna vomit. So keep it to yourself, thanks". 

"You got a problem with it?! You got a problem with the two morons finding happiness?!" 

"Sougo, you may not understand right now...". 

"Or ever, aru". Kagura mumbled before allowing Kondo to finish his lecturing on romance when he himself had limited experience. 

"You may not understand, but one day I'm sure you'll understand what it's like to have that sort of happiness". 

"Thanks, Kondo-san, but I'll pass. I'm not interested in that stuff". 

"What about Kagura-chan?" 

"Oi, Spectcale's sister, I don't wanna vomit. So could you...not? Thanks". 

"Boss Lady, you have the wrong idea. Gin-chan always told me to ignore the shippers and follow my heart, find a man who doesn't have a baby face and a sadistic personality. Mm-hm". 

"Maybe he shouldn't be teaching you how to break the fourth wall". Shinpachi was the guy who had to pull up a chair into the group and sit behind two other people, despite being invited to play. As the straight man he still pointed out everyone's need to insult the author and the concept of destroying the fourth wall. 

"I don't know. I think you two wouldn't be so bad together. I mean, you already get along so well". 

"Sis'...I can't tell if you're being sarcastic or you're that naïve. And could we stop discussing this stuff? I don't feel comfortable hearing you trying to match-make two people who don't match at all". 

"But just look at Gin-san and Hijikata-san. They're happy...as much as that irritates me just a little bit". 

"Sis', I don't think you need to worry. Those guys aren't suited for marriage. You're good". This was true, according to the opinion of the author no matter how many alternate universes have been written for such a scenerio.

"Yeah, Gin-chan would never get married, aru". 

"It's not like Hijikata-san either. And they are both guys. Not that I have a problem with that, but even these days people who don't know them can be very judgemental. A lotta people can't see that two people of the same gender dating is the same as a man and a woman dating". 

"...". There was reasoning behind that, and Kagura had fallen silent. This was Okita, right? He didn't really care about this stuff...Did he? "Ohh? You sound awfully supportive all of a sudden". 

"Don't get the wrong idea. You hear these conversations a lot around college 'cause there are plenty more people with opinions built up from maturity and not ignorance. As much as people try to spout their negative opinions towards this stuff, they'll always be over-shadowed by those who support the positives. That's just how it is. These days, at least. You can like whoever you want as long as it doesn't affect me. And it doesn't, does it? So Hijikata-san can do what he likes 'cause, frankly, it's none of my business". 

It wasn't any of his business. That was fact, yes. Not that anyone else surrounding this dining table over a game of UNO was deeply involved in the relationship. They merely supported the relationship on the side-lines. And, honestly, it didn't matter if they were two men. What mattered was how they treated eachother. And as of recently, maybe a few months ago, there wasn't anything to worry about such as fighting or tearing eachother's throats out over a petty disagreement. 

"As long as they're happy, gender shouldn't matter. Right, Otae-san?" 

"Why're you asking me?" Why was Kondo asking Otae that? Just so they could finally reach an agreement without him being punched or kicked in the throat. "...Haah, you are right, though, Kondo-san. Two people should be allowed to be together as long as their feelings are "mutal". Understand?" 

"Exactly! Glad we agree". 

"Kondo-san, I think that's the nicest way you could get shut down by Spectacle's sister. Save yourself the pain and give up already, will ya?"

Otae had noticed two things. It suddenly came to her the first time she actually looked at Kondo the whole evening. It was a simple act of looking down and, due to the lack of space at the table, she was able to see his cards. This was cheating of course, but for some reason he had kept a lot of trick cards. The order of "who puts their card down next" began with Kagura, then Shinpachi, then Okita, then Kondo, then Otae and then Kyubei. Kondo could have laid out any of his colourful trick cards to keep Otae from winning, but he didn't. If she hadn't looked at his cards, she wouldn't have come to the conclusion that he was really trying for her, even using something so trivial as card game to win her approval. It didn't, not exactly. But it was strange how a man could do something like this. Knowing him and his usual methods of gaining her attention this was by far the least obnoxious, the most trivial and...To Otae, it was rather interesting. 

The second thing she noticed was when her gaze immediatly shifted from Kondo's cards towards Kyubei sitting on her right side. She had gone quiet, lowering her head without putting a single word into this conversation. 

"Kyu-chan? Is something wrong?" 

"Eh...?" She raised her head suddenly, giving off the impression that she must have been sleeping this whole time with her head bowed like that. But Kyubri maintained her composure and brushed off Otae's worries, hoping she would do the same. "Oh, it's nothing. I'm a little tired, that's all". 

"...". 

Kyubei wasn't always so reserved towards Otae. This was the first time in a long time that she had went on without really saying anything. A few months ago Kyubei had forced herself to wear things like binders instead of bras because she was uncomfortable with having a females body in comparison to being male in her heart. But that was resolved. So...What could it be now? Otae did have this hunch...Just a hunch. When she spoke to Gintoki in the spare room, where no one else could hear and why she kept it from Otae raised questions and a hunch. That's all it was right now. 

Soon enough, Gintoki walked back downstairs, returning to the group with Hijikata. His leg seemed fine, which was expected as a cramp is only temporary, especually for fit and healthy man who had not yet reached his thirities, the age where physical strength begins to decline.

"You kids-...and Gorilla-san, I guess-having fun?" 

"Are you gonna play now, Gin-chan?" Answering a question with another question. Kagura really wanted Gintoki to take part, huh? 

Okita set down his cards and srood from his chair. All eyes followed in puzzlement. 

"You can take over for me, Danna. I'm getting pretty tired". 

"Well, we don't have a lot of futons so you might have to settle for the sofa". 

"I don't mind. Just as long as I can get some sleep". 

Okita went for the sofa, and only Kagura's eyes followed him as everyone else welcomed Gintoki into the game. He was strictly told to pick up four more cards, having only two from where Okita left off. To which he sighed and obediently picked up two cards. Hijikata made himself comfortable at one of the armchairs in the living room, at a distance from the game. Even after what Okita did in Twister, he still wasn't bothered sitting near him. Having a distance from the kids, he decided to light up a cigarette. 

"You're not very attentitive of me, Hijikata-san. I'm still young, y'know. Ya think second-hand smoke can't kill me?" 

Okita said that without sounding too bothered about the smoke. If he did sound bothered by it, you think Hijikata would keep smoking? Despite all the shit he got from this kid, he could be considerate when he needed to. But he knew for a fact that the smoke didn't bother him. It was also factual that Okita had been around people his age who go to private areas around his college to smoke. And of course Okita didn't join in. 

"You're fine. Besides, you've never complained before". 

"...What's up with you? You seem kinda tense. Did something happen with Danna?" 

"Why do you always assume that?" 

"Cause you're not always so tense. You're more cool-headed...". 

"Mm...". Hijikata paid no mind to Okita and simply continued to smoke. But Okita couldn't get it out of his head that something seemed different about Hijikata. Even in such dim, unflattering lighting he could tell that something was off. Something in particular came to mind, perhaps an example of Hijikata's changed attitude. 

"...I never thought you'd do it, y'know". 

"Uh...What do you-...?" 

"When it was Danna's birthday...I said you should go see him but I didn't think you'd go to such lengths for him just for one day. But I suppose you've always tried your best to think of others before yourself'. 

"...". 

"Y'know, I...I think it shouldn't be so shocking to bring this up, but...You were like that with Sis'...".

"...Meaning what?" 

"...". 

Their eyes met and there was some sort of tension there still when bringing up Okita's late sister. By now it could be brought up without any tension or awkwardness, but Okita was...potentially implying something, and Hijikata didn't want to think about what that might be. Nothing else was really said, as if to drop the conversation there. At least nothing was said between them. In the background there was a clear, shudder-enducing noise that was Gintoki's fists slamming against the table in anger. Hijikata swerved his head around when the loud noise hit his ears. 

"No! No way am I picking up twelve cards! How the hell did you all have trick cards, anyway?!" 

"Don't be a sore loser, Gin-chan". 

"I'm not being a sore loser! This is just bullshit! You kids are going down, ya hear?! O-oi, why are you brats laughing?!" 

The real reason Gintoki was invited to join there games was because his attitude as a sore loser was priceless. Even Hijikata smiled, pushing aside the tense atmosphere with Okita. There was a glow in Hijikata's eyes, and even in that smile that Okita never saw. It wasn't cheery or longing per se. It was more comfortable and content, faint but not at all like him; a man who holds back his emotions for the sake of his pride and sometimes for the sake of other's feelings. Did he ever smile like that around Mitsuba? Around Okita's sister? Did he ever...give himself the chance do so? 

... 

The game of UNO was evetually left to Gintoki, Shinpachi and Kagura. The reckless and chaotic trio were stuck in a bind of normal cards and trick cards, as everyone else had won. Kyubei and Otae had a guest room and a futon set up for the night. It had gotten quite late. Too late to stay up any longer. But the cold apartment, the chill running through their bodies, was enough to keep them awake. Still sitting on the sofa, for now, Otae blew breath into her chilled hands, which were on the verge of turning grey. Kyubei wrapped a blanket more securely around Otae's body, receiving a thank you and a smile, but her hands were still quite cold.

"Tae-chan, are you still cold?" 

"Just a little, Kyu-chan. Don't worry, though...I'll be fine". 

In the living room some sort of camp was being set up, made out of blankets and spare pillows, for Kondo and Okita. Side note: Kagura was assigned to her own room with Sadaharu and Shinpachi, who was to use a spare futon. And, of course, Gintoki and Hijikata were sharing the main bedroom. That's how it was organised, yet Kondo was sort of glad to see that Otae had waited for the spare room to be set up by Gintoki, which he would get around to once excused from the game. But it almost broke his heart to see her freezing like that. In the middle of his task, which consisted of piling on blankets and pillows for the sofa, he paused and took a moment to have a little debate in his head. 

Due to the turn of winter Kondo had stopped by at a local 7/11, for any normal items and products to be picked up at a convenience store, and conveniejtly stumbled upon a small rack of gloves with tattered tags attached. It had been the first snowfall, for November, so he purchased a pair of brown leather ones on a whim, only to find out that these's men's gloces were noth very fitting for his gorilla hands. Yes, I said gorilla hands-hairy knuckles and banana residue under the fingernails and everything else that made this into a real joke in a somewhat serious moment for him, for our gorilla man. 

It was just a thought, and having his head stomped on must have encouraged him to weaken his approuch and do what any normal person does, like walking through the front door to say hi. In this case, well, the moment he took out the gloves from his pant's back pocket anyone could see where this was going. Maybe she would use less violence towards his gesture of honest love. All his gestures towards Otae so far were out of love, even the stalking and airplane messages he would go to the effort of paying for. Not once did he think to buy flowers or, hey, offer a pair of gloves when it was cold: the equivilant of indirectly holding hands. Not that he wore the things anyway since they clearly didn't fit. 

He nodded to himself and, with confidence, thought he would try his best. When patting down his side of the sofa, Okita looked up and watched yet another attempt to win Otae's attention, rather than her affection. For Okita, feeling symapthy was totally foreign. And for Kondo, his mentor and big brother figure, all he felt was pity and the need to say "for your own safety, give up". But that man was never going to do so, was he? 

Otae raised her head fairly quickly as her senses told her to. In the moment when Kondo's shadow cast over her, she looked up at him with a startled, but prepared glare. She was prepared to knock him out of the window and into the storm that was...calming down outside. No one had noticed through the darkened room, to which their eyes had adjusted to the dim light of the candles. Kondo was still, his grip on the gloves rather tight. Was he nervous? Was approuching normally making him nervous? No. Not Kondo. He snapped out of it, presenting the gloves first before speaking. 

"I, I, um...If you're cold...You can have these". 

"...". 

"I haven't worn them 'cause they're too small for me, but...". Kondo smiled confidentally, and didn't hesitate. "You can borrow them until the power comes back, Otae-san. I only have one pair, but...Maybe you can share one with Yagyuu-san. Just a thought. I'll, er...Get back to it, so...". 

Otae did take the gloves. In the moment, out of pure disbelief, she accepted them without thinking about it. But she didn't throw them back in his face. Maybe because Kyubei could have one too, or maybe... 

"You shouldn't eavesdrop, y'know". Otae smiled, abandoning her disbelief, but still maintaining the gloves in her hand. "It's rude". 

"Ah...Y-yeah, well...Sorry, Otae-san, I-". 

"Thank you anyway, Kondo-san. I'll put them to good use for both Kyubei and myself". 

"Ah...! N-no problem. I'll...get back to it, then-again...Ah...Yeah...". 

Kondo hurried back into the living room, frantically fluffing his pillows and vigourously wiping the creases from his blankets for no real reason. His panicked behaviour was like that of a high school kid receiving his first Valentines chocolates, only he was the one to give but he was still very happy and almost shy when doing so. And behind her usual violent actions and hatred towards his stalking, Otae cracked a very faint and brief smile that Kyubei noticed. Oh she noticed. But...She couldn't bring herself to sulk about it, like a child. Especially when Otae turned to look at Kyubei with a more gleeful smile. 

"Kyu-chan, would you like to share one?" 

"Ah...! Tae-chan...B-but, won't your other hand be cold? I couldn't never-". 

"It's alright. If need be I'll hold your other hand, but I suppose that means we'll have to share the double bed". 

This was obviously a platonic and harmless suggestions. Despite knowing this Kyubei's face lit up like a flare, practically glowing a deep red at the very idea of sharing a bed eith Otae and holding her hand the whole night. So harmless yet for Kyubei that was going to great lengths. 

"A-a-are you su-sure, T-Ta-T-T-Tae-cha-chan?" 

"Of course. Now come on. We're both tired. We need to get some sleep". Otae helped Kyubei up from her seat, by the hand. She had let go as they made their way to guest room, but the whole time Kyubei's blush was red hot. 

This, by anyone else in the room, saw it as somewhat normal for two close friends such as them to be so...close, platonic, harmless. But after hearing what Kyubei had to say, Gintoki almost felt bad for her. Best to support her rather than kick her down, though, right? She needed that, at her age: support from a friend beside her current love interest. But Gintoki couldn't do much to help it bear fruit, now could he? However Otae felt...It would become crystal clear to Kyubei soon enough. She couldn't hide her feelings forever.

"Sougo, I don't get why you don't take a page outta Kondo-san's book". Hijikata crushed another cigarette in the ashtray displayed on the living room coffee table. He sat back, arms crossed. "Not the whole...stalking, of course. But it couldn't hurt for you to do something nice for someone else for a change". 

"Wouldn't want bad karma, would ya, Okita-kun?" Was Gintoki allowed to add onto that so easily with such a smug expression? Bet he was the type of kid to do bad things, get off scott free and then get bitten in the ass by Lady Karma later in life. So why act so confident? Did making Hijikata happy count? Well...That was a bit much, but he couldn't deny it to be totally false...A-anyway... 

"I don't have to do good things. Karma's not gonna bite me in the ass. I haven't done anything wrong". 

"Pulling girls by the leash around town is, I'd say, more than wrong, Sougo". 

"Big deal. Besides, they asked for it. Don't know why you're suddenly forcing me to do good. Even if I do something like what Kondo-san did, it won't change anything". 

"I suppose, but I'm not forcing you to do anything. I won't tell you what to do, Sougo. As your senior and superior, I'm simply advising you. And it can change people's opinions. Even though you'remsupposed to be keeping up a good appearance at work, you're the least trusted on a personal level". 

"Mm...". No wonder. With every sadistic trick and Okita was avoided more and more outside of work. He never showed this side in college, but boredom can be a dangerous thing. What else was there to say? 

Shifting his gaze, he quickly spotted Kagura seated on the staircase with her dog in her arms and a blanket draped over her back. She pet him with shivering hands, cuddling him too. And with that image in sights, clarifying that she too was suffering from the cold, he let out a huge, sulking sigh. Hijikata didn't look at him expectantly, which was new. But Gintoki did, glaring at him with his arms crossed, posing as the authority figure here. Wasn't he her guardian? Was this just a way for Okita to break out from his little box of sadism? Clearly. He rolled his eyes, standng up from the sofa. He was actually walking towards Kagura. No joke. Since it was Kagura you'd think he'd be more reluctant than usual to ever do anything besides enducing mental and physical torture. 

When noticing his approuch, similar to when Kondo approuched Otae, Kagura recoiled in disbelief but also in defense. No, wait, correction: she was preparing to use the offense if he tried anything. 

"What...?" She simply questioned, visibly protecting Sadaharu over anything else, mainly herself. 

"Nothing. I was just gonna say that you should be in bed. It's way past your bedtime, isn't it, kid?" 

"Don't treat me like a brat. And, anyway, it's too cold to sleep, aru". 

"...". 

"...". 

What now? What was he to do now? He didn't fully understand this stuff, so the pause was quite awkward. Made it seem like his approuch was unecessary and uncalled for. Kagura didn't seem to expecr anything. She just stared, wondering if he wanted something or if he was planning to do anything. 

"If...If you've come here to be a creep then you might as well go away. It's weird-You're being weird, so...". 

He didn't pay much attention to what she was saying. Then ahain, when did he ever pay attention to anyone except for Kondo and his sister? Goosebumps had risen across Kagura's arms, and she was clearly shaking even when a blanket was draped over her. Was...Was this what he could do? Without a word or explanation first and foremost, Okita removed his zip-up hoodie and passed it over to Kagura ever so casually as if it didn't bother him, even when left with a long-sleeved shirt that didn't look very warm. With the piece of clothing put in front of her, Kagura sat there astonished. 

"...Well? Aren't you gonna take it?" 

"H-huh? Why would I take this from you?" 

"I'm letting you borrow it since it's cold. But you'll have to wash it and give it back when you're done". 

"Che! Still so rude when you do something nice. Why are you doing this anyway? What're you hiding?" 

"I'm not hiding anything. Just take the damn hoodie before I change my mind".

Reluctant and suspicious, Kagura presented a great deal of hesitance when reaching out to take the gesture, given by this smartass sadist. But at the same time there lay hidden the slightest hint of gratefullness that didn't become clear due to her reluctance and suspicion and sulking face. While giving up her blanket to Sadaharu she hesitantly slid on Okita's zip-up, cradling her body with an averted gaze and a thank you, expressed through her state of sulking. Why was she sulking exactly? Well she hated the fact that his hoodie was so warm, and she also hated that it smelled like men's deodorant. Yes, she genuinally hated the latter. She hated the warmth because it's source was Okita. It annoyed her that his hoodie took away the cold. Annoyed, she held Sadaharu in her arms and stormed upstairs to her room without looking back. 

Okita sighed again, returning to the sofa to sit. The girl still had a low opinion of him, definitely. So nothing really changed, almost. Kahura was still a girl, so receiving a "kind" gesture from a boy, even if it was Okita, would set her into this reserved and embarrassed state. He could tell. But it was the first time he had ever seen someone act like a tsundere, but in a more subtle and realistic way. She didn't hit him or throw him across the room, as per usual. How odd. Yet so amusing. And he actually felt that things would only get more amusing from here. He smirked, thinking just that. 

... 

Kagura lay down on her bed, still wearing the zip-up. The smell of deodorant was stinking and almost distracting from sleep, but the warmth that enveloped her was...Okay. It was okay. Shinpachi lay in his futon, glasses set aside on the floor. Fast asleep. Thank god he didn't witness the scene of the sadist actually doing something nice for once. Kagura tried to convince herself that it was sickening, but couldn't seriously admit that since she did accept the gesture. It reminded her of...Way back when, in Kyoto. During winter, the weather was particularly cold and Kamui would often make up forts from blankets and pillows at a young age for the whole family to burrow in for warmth, all four of them. At least she remembered where her fort-building hobby came from, and she remembered the vague, happy memories of childhood. In this blackout, she wondered where Kamui was now and if he was alright. It couldn't be helped...He was still her brother. 

Okita was suddenly acting like a big brother-Well...Not acting like. He could never act like a big brother, but a spoiled younger brother. What Kagura meant was that he showed some sort of human quality through this gesture, which seemed a little forced. Still...It was the only nice thing he was ever going to do for her. Better appreciate it before she had to wash it and give it back. 

Staring up at the ceiling, she slid her hands into the zip-up pockets, and suddenly she froze. Something was inside one of them. It was smooth and a little ticklish on her fingers. It was a mere matter of curiosity, leading her to want to take it out and have a look, but then...Whatever it was...It...twitched.Worried and a little scared, she grasped this thing and...it struggled. Kagura's eyes widened, feeling something twitch and creep around her palm as she grasped this thing lightly. Then, swiftly, she pulled it out from the pocket and, through the darkness, she could see what it was. It was a big. Brown-ish. Spine-chilling. Creeping. Cockroach. 

"Ah...Ahhh...". 

Kagura's lips quivered, parting, her voice clogging up in her throat for a moment before- 

"Uuuuuaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh!!!" 

... 

Everyone heard Kagura's blood-curdling scream throughout the apartment. And out of natural concern, Gintoki was prepared to sprint up the stairs to her aid. 

"Kagura! Kagura, are you-...?!" He froze stiff when, all of a sudden, Kagura came bolting out of her bedroom at full speed. 

While she did, Shinpachi followed her out of the room, calling her name. Otae and Kyubei exited their room, question what had happened in fright. Kagura dashed down the stairs with wide eyes and clenched teeth, heading straight for Okita who was smirking sadistically. 

"I'll kill you!' She cried out, still dashing towards him in the middle of the room. "I'll kill you, you stupid sadiiiiist!" Kagura lept forward, tackling Okita down to the floor. He wasn't able to act quickly enough, and his smirk did inevitsbly disappear. "Die! Die! Die!!" Kagura continued yelling, tossing her arms around, her fists clenched as she tried to hit him. 

In the struggle, Okita put up his arms, as shown in boxing when blocking attacks, only to get struck at least once from the sheer force that Kagura's was putting out there. 

"Oi, Kagura, cut it out! Get off of him! Hijikata, help me out!" 

"Right. The both of you, stop it now!" 

Both Gintoki and Hijikata rushed to their side before Kagura did any real damage, or before Okita chose to fight back. Gintoki pulled Kagura from Okita, and Hijikata pulled Okita away from Kagura when he got to his feet with less force. Kagura struggled in Gintoki's arms, cursing and telling Okita to die frantically out of anger. Yes, this was very amusing. 

"I'll kill you! You think you're funny you asshole?! I'll end your life! I'll kill, kill, kill you!" 

"O-oi, Kagura, that's enough! Calm down, will ya?!" 

"Sougo, what the hell did you do?" 

"...". 

"Sougo...!" 

"Will you get off my back?! The China Girl's freaking out over something so small!" 

"It wasn't small, you moron! It was huge! Nearly the size of my hand, and you snuck it into this pocket!" 

"Sougo, whatever you did to get the China Girl this upset, you'd better apologise". 

"Who are you, my Mom?!" 

"Don't act like such a brat! I advised you to take a page outta Kondo's book, not the total opposite!" 

"Will you all stop fighting?!" Shinpachi butt in, also raising his voice. The chaos had to end somehow and this was getting out of hand. But they still weren't listening. 

"Shinpachi-kun's right! Toshi, Sougo! Stop fighting this instant!" 

"Please, Gin-san, calm Kagura-chan down!" Otae stood by Kondo's side, agreeing frantically. She didn't want to see them fight so suddenly either. "Seriously! Will you all just-...?!" 

Suddenly, in the middle of the yelling and arguing, the lights above flickered once again. The room fell silent as they watched the lights flicker, anticipating that...Anticipating that the power had returned. And well, what do you know? With several sharp flickers of light, the room lit up and it stayed that way. The power...The power was back on. After the storm had calmed down, there was an opportunity to fix the main sources of power and put everything back in order. What a moment to do so. 

Kagura had calmed down, as did Hijikata in his scolding. The whole room was quiet and still, caught up in the tides of disbelief as they all processed the sudden events. They were all almost blinded by the lights above, but knowing that they had power again...It was worth it. 

... 

As late as it was, everyone was glad to settle down. Gintoki went to work in the kitchen to prepare hot tea for everyone who had been freezing to the bone just moments ago. Now that there were phone signals, Kyubei was forced to call Ayumu and to ensure her safety. 

["Thank god! Thank god the young master is alright! I was worried sick when the power went dead and there was no phone signal...Are you sure you're alright?! Do you need me to pick you up?"] 

"N-no, I'm alright. I just need to know...Is "Jugem Jugem Shit-Tossing the Life of Shin-Chan’s Two-Day-Old Underwear Balmung Fezalion Isaac Schneider 1/3 True Love 2/3 Hangnail Anxiety Betrayal Knows My Name Or Does It Really Ignore Calls Squid Dogfish Halibut Trout-Cod Dogfish This Is A Different Dogfish, I’m Talking About The Dogfish Shark Kaluga Ray Yuuteimiyaoukimukou pepepepepepepepepepepepe Runny Diarrhea" okay? Was he scared during the blackout?" 

["Ah...Yes. In fact he was so scared he felt the need to throw shit all over my chamber walls. B-but enough about him. I was really worried Young Master~. It was scary, thinking that you might be in danger"]. 

"Uh...I'm-I'm fine. Really...". 

Seated on the sofa, away from the rest of the group, Okita was alone. He didn't feel bad for what he did, slipping the cockroach he found during UNO into his zip-up pocket for Kagura. But he knew, from hee reaction and Hijikata's that it was shittier than he originally thought. In this kind of situation, anyone would be quite fragile. But this was, honestly, one of the least traumatising acts he had commited. 

Kagura was in hysterics, yet she approuched him, carrying the zip-up by its hood as if she was carrying something diseased. 

"Here. You can have it back. It has an insect's germs on it. And a cockroach was inside it". 

"Pff, am I an insect now?" 

"...". 

"Look, I can't apologise seriously if I don't feel bad, and I don't. So if you're expecting an apology...". 

"I'm not. Honestly, I should expect crap like this by now. To think you'd do anything nice. What a joke...Although it's surprising. This is one of the milder things you've done". 

"You think so too? Hm...". 

"So, are you gonna take the hoodie or not?" Right. Kagura was still holding it out to him. But... 

"...I told ya: wash it and then give it back. Since it's got China Girl's germs on it". 

"Tch, fine. Just don't expect me to wear it. Stinks anyway". Pouting, but less angry than before, Kagura took a few steps away from Okita, draping the hoodie over her arm. She could have thrown it out if she really didn't want it. Okita knew what he did was shitty, but he felt no remorse. Still...Could he let the China Girl pout like that all night? 

"Oi, China Girl...". Kagura paused, turning her head, still pouting. "...Sorry that I can't be sorry for what I did". Okita shrugged, smirking. He was hopeless. Really hopeless. But... 

"Whatever. Apology accepted. But I won't easily forgive you for putting a cockroach into my pocket. You'll owe more than an apology for that".

The China Girl was astonishingly relaxed after her outburst. It showed that she was pissed off, but not really upset about the whole incident. In fact, yeah, she shouldn't have expected anything less from the infamous Prince of Sadism. Maybe this would come back to bite him, seeing as she was being strangely forgiving. Before the power returned she had gone crazy. Maybe she felt idiotic for trusting that "kind gesture" but still took out all of her rage on him. Just how long would she keep that up? Still smirking, Okita wondered this to himself. It wouldn't be so bad to see the same reactions from her. The China Girl wasn't as weak as most are. Could be fun in the long run. Very fun... 

Kondo sat by the window, staring out at the clear sky and the city that was pitch black mere moments ago. Seeing all the lights return made everything feel like they were back in place. Whether she was told to or it was totally voluntary, Otae approuched Kondo with his serving of tea. But after giving it to him she intended to leave. She had to give the gloves back, anyway. When she stood by his side, Kondo's eyes shifted and widened in astonishment before smiling casually. 

"O-Otae-san, you...". 

"I just came return those gloves and...Gin-san was making tea for everyone, so he made some for you too. Here". Otae was quick to get to the point. No room for small-talk with her stalker, it seemed. Could you really blame her? 

"Oh...Thank you...". Kondo took the gloves, that didn't fit him, and the mug of tea. He was obviously disappointed that she didn't feel like sticking around. 

"Well, I'd better-". 

"Otae-san, wait a minute". He couldn't stand the disappointment. So Kondo made an effort to speak to her. Everyone had been so tense the whole night. Even just the smallest conversation would be alright, although, as mentioned, Otae didn't really want to stick around Kondo for small talk. "Um...I-it's good to see that the city's lit up, right? I mean, we didn't get to see the stars 'cause we were all distracted, but...". 

"Uh, yeah...I suppose it...would have been nice...". Otae felt out of her comfort zone, talking to Kondo like this. But he was kind of forcing it wasn't he?

"...B-but the lights in the streets is one good thing about this city. You kinds don't need to see stars, right?" 

He was really trying. He was really trying to talk to her and get along with her. Otae was too tired to put up much of a fight. In fact she felt no need to. This was the first time since they first met that Otae had actually spoken to Kondo, had some sort of conversation with him. And the first time was just for Otae's work, when he visited the carbaret club. Compared to that, having real small-talk felt off and awkward. And Otae couldn't stop herself from wondering "why?" 

"Kondo-san, may I ask you something?" 

"Ah...! S-sure, Otae-san. Anything". Kondo was taken by surprise, but welcomed any questions she had to ask. Any question. 

"Why do you try so hard?" 

"Huh? You mean...". 

"Why do you try so hard to gain my attention and impress me? That's what you're trying to do, isn't it?" 

"We-well...". Kondo stuttered. With Otae looking so serious, asking such a question...No. No, he said to himself that he would welcome any question from Otae. With a more confident and sure demeanor, he answered. "It isn't that I'm trying to impress you or gain your attention, Otae-san. I know my methods are unique-". 

"And illegal". 

"But! All I want to do is show affection for you. You are very strong willed. One of the strongest individuals I have ever met. I admire that and...I...I like you very much. I'd...even go as far to say that I lo-". 

"N-no, no, no, no. You don't have to go that far. Please don't". 

Countless times. This man had expressed what he called "love" countless times already through the worst and most repetitive methods. Yet expressing them this way, through the simple phrase "I like you" and a look of quiet embarrassment, Otae didn't feel as hostile towards him. She didn't feel the need to refer to him as a stalker. The title "Gorilla" was still sruck, but...As of now, he had let go of his stalker tendancies. This was Isao Kondo at his best. And Otae...Otae smiled to that. 

"Otae-san...A strong person never gives up. And I don't intend to until I show you how I can be a real man and not just some gorilla stalker. I mean it...". 

"...I see. Well, good luck to you, but I'm quite stubborn. It'll take a lot more for me to see you as more than a gorilla stalker, I'm afraid". 

This unfolded quite smoothly for Kondo, and he was determined to show Otae the better part of Isao Kondo. Maybe by the time Otae was atrending university, in about a year, Kondo had a chance. This scene also unfolded before Kyubei's eyes...Before Kyubei's eyes. She was standing at a fair distance away from the window with a mug of sweetened tea ready for Otae. When seeing her with Kondo, she froze and was unable to move. Her heart sank, and a reassuring hand patted her shoulder. She flinched, but when seeing their face, for some reason, she couldn't bring herself to scream and throw them to the other side of the room. She couldn't do that to Gintoki. 

"Listen, you shouldn't give in so easily. Just because she's actually talking to the gorilla doesn't mean anything". 

"But...Gintoki, even if he's a gorilla, he's still a man...and Tae-chan is...a woman. There isn't much wrong with that is there?" 

"Oi, didn't you hear anything I said in our private discussion? If you care about someone deeply enough, in a romantic sense, then why the hell should gender matter? Have some confidence, tell her the truth someday and whatever happens, happens. Accept that. But for noe, while you build up some courage, continue to be her friend, alright? I doubt she'll find anyone else anytime soon. So until you choose to tell her the truth, I'll help you build up some self-condidence, alright?' 

"Gintoki...". 

His smile was comforting. And for the first time, a man's harmless touch was comforting. A pat on the shoulder, that smile and those kind words dug deeper than Kyubei realised herself. She gave a nod in understsnding. If she needed advice or just a boost of confidence, she knew where to come to. If it was about Otae, at least. Smiling, Kyubei brougut the mug of tea over to Otae and effectively butt in with a quick apology and a smile. Otae smiled too, seeing her friend. From the looks of things, Kyubei had been invited into the conversation. 

Hijikata came towards Gintoki with two cups of sweetened tea, watching over the scene for himself. When Kagura and Shinpachi joined in, curious about the conversation, with Okita sitting on the sidelines next to Kondo-san, the image became complete. 

"Looks kinda decent, doesn't it? This image". 

"...I suppose so. Even after the fights and hostility, it's still a pretty decent image". 

"Was that sarcasm?" 

"Nope. Wasn't trying to be sarcastic. Can't say we're the most perfect and functional group of people, but...When it comes down to it we're like one big happy family, right? I mean there's fights and disagreements, but it could be worse". 

"Yeah. You and I could still be rivals, fighting and arguing with much more volume than anyone else". 

"Uh-huh. Glad we were the only responsible ones for a while-and Shinpachi, I suppose". 

It could have been much worse. Maybe they wouldn't be sll together like this if Gintoki and Hijikats hadn't become something of an item. These characters would never have interacted like this if it hadn't been for this relationship. And it appeared that a lot of attitudes were changing for the better. A lot had changed. And, well, a lot more was probably going to change. Hopefully this decent image would remain. That wouldn't be so bad, no matter how mis-matched these people were. 

... 

... 

When the morning sun had risen, and the storm from last night lay still, covering the streets in a white sheet of snow, Kagura was the first to burst out of the buildings doors in excitement. She took a breath of cool air with a smile. Following behind her was Otae, Kyubei, Shinpachi, Kondo and Okita as they were on their way home after a long night. After quick good-byes, and rushed ones on Kagura's part, Gintoki watched through the wide window in the main room as they all went their separate ways down the street. 

The sun shone brightly at around ten in the morning, and although he was fully awake, Gintoki went right back to bed to re-join Hijikata. Nothing wrong with sleeping in, since Hijikata was assigned a night shift as Gintoki recalled. The apartment was warmed up through the heating system stored within its own little closet in the kitchen, so lying around was much more comfortable while the outside was so cold. Gintoki expected to see Hijikata buried under the sheets in comfort, but, instead, when entering the room he saw that he had engrossed his focus on the window and the outside world with an aloof and dazed expression. The sheets and the coverlet were a state, creased and crumbled up from use. Not thst it mattered. They planned to lay around anyway. At least until they were hungry enough to make a breakfast up. Or brunch... 

"You okay there, Hijikata?" 

"Hm? Oh, yeah...I'm fine". Once again Hijikata was distracted from his own little world by Gintoki. He looked back at the window and the morning view but didn't return to his daze. 

Gintoki sat down beside him, but paid no mind to the view outside. In fact, he paid more attention to Hijikata. He was looking rather radiant; practically glowing under the morning light. How beautiful. Really. How amazingly beautiful. Subconsciously, Gintoki reached his hand out delicately towards Hijikata, brushing his fingers softly over his cheek. Hijikata didn't give much of a reaction, and simply turned his head to face Gintoki, a little puzzled. 

"What...What's up?" 

"Nothing. I was just thinking how good you look in this lighting". 

"Ha, seriously...?" 

"Seriously. The light brings out your eyes". 

In this light...While caught up in his own, half-asleep daze, Hijikata thought that Gintoki looked rather handsome too. How the light created this glow on his skin, brightening up his eyes, creating a shimmer in his hair...And what he wanted was to get a little closer. He did, as soon as the thought came to him. Scootching over, farther towards Gintoki, Hijikata grasped his hand, retracting it from his own cheek to simply hold it. He stared down at Gintoki's thighs for no particular reason except for the embarrassment of staring directly into his eyes. 

"Gintoki...I had been thinking a lot last night, about what you said, about...trying new things. I realise this isn't the time to discuss this but I need to get it off my chest. I didn't realise that you felt so comfortable to...suggest new things. I didn't know that I was the first person you suggested this stuff too, but...". 

"Well, yeah. I try not to talk about my old sex life too much, since I'm going out with you. But, yeah, you are the first". 

"I...Um, I...I think I've been a bit too stubborn. If it's out of trust and affection then I...I don't know if I would...mind trying new...things...". 

"Huh...?" At that simple, astonished response, Hijikata's grip on Gintoki's hand tightened a little. "W-wait, are you-". 

"Of course I'm serious. I thought about it a lot and I realised that stuff like intercourse isn't just about what I want. But as long as we trust eachother then I shouldn't be afraid to go further with you, should I?" 

"W-woah, Hijikata, hold up for a second. You...You really wanna try some of that stuff? L-like what, specifically? If you don't mind my asking". 

"Ah-I...I don't know. Um...I think I'll be fine with light restraints or-". 

"W-woah! Wait...!" Gintoki was flabbergasted. He couldn't believe his ears. He couldn't believe the things coming out of Hijikata's mouth. "Wait, gimme a minute...Hoo...I-...I mean, are you sure? Stuff like bondage is, uh...". 

"Gintoki, you can keep questioning it, but I won't change my mind after all that thinking...This sort of thing...It excites you, doesn't it?" 

"Well...Y-yeah, it excites but I'd never force you to do stuff like this if you really didn't want to. I don't wanna hurt you, y'know". 

"Weren't you the one who suggested bondage in the first place? And aren't you a sadist?" 

"Yeah, but... But there's a difference between spanking or causing slight erotic pain to someone who actually wants it, or just causing pain. Look, I wanna do stuff like bondage with you and...I'd get excited seeing you tied to the bed or restrained-but only if that was mutal and...Hijikata, I really need to know if you're sure about this". 

"I'm not a teenager, Gintoki. I understand this stuff to some degree. And although it doesn't excite me in the same way...If it's you, I want to feel excited and...Y'know...I wanna excite you, too". 

"...". Unbelievable. It was truely unbelievable, but at the same time it felt so right for Hijikata to say these things so honestly. This guy was rarely ever honest with his feelings. 

"D-don't gimme that look!" 

"Hey I can't help it! Aaagh! You're too sexy recently! Cut it out!" 

"That isn't my fault! That's from your own perspective, idiot!" 

"How are lines like that from my perspective?! You just spouted them with the cutest face! That's dangerous! I'll pounce! I will literally pounce on you!" 

"Like hell you will! Look, we don't have to rush. Let's just take our time. I...I want to do this with you, Gintoki. This sort of thing should be done together, mutally, and with trust, as well as some level of affection". 

"Haah...Fine. But if you say stop then we're stopping immediatly. Understand? If I see you in any pain or discomfort whatsoever, we're stopping. But don't hold back from expressing those things, okay? Even if that stuff excites me, I don't wanna hurt you at all...". 

"Okay. If that's the case then I'll tell you to stop. I've never done this sort of thing before so-...Uh, wait, now?" 

"What, you don't wanna do it now?" 

"It's ten in the morning". 

"So? Nothing wrong with fooling around during the dah. Besides, you've gotten me all riled up. I really don't want to wait. Do you?" 

Did he want to wait? He had a night shift and, right now, Hijikata did not want to change his mind. It had to be now. No matter what time of day it was, it had to be now. Nervous, Hijikata nodded, his hands trembling slightly. But of course Gintoki was there to hold them, and reassure him that he would be gentle. With a kiss placed on Hijikata's hand, Gintoki ensured him that they would take their time and that this would go at a fair pace, gently and affectionately. 

... 

The air was almost breezy in the bedroom, but heat had quickly enveloped their bodies. Hijikata voluntarily lay flst on his back with the coverlet spread out underneath him, the pillows fluffed for comfort. Gintoki had the pleasure of holding Hijikata's wrists above his head, to be bound together by one of Hijikata's uniform ties, left in the bedroom quite a while back. While focusing, Gintoki tied a skillfull knot to tighten the grip. Hijikata flinched and gasped due to grip on nis wrists. It was new. So, so new and...odd. Gintoki let out an intense sigh, looking over Hijikata, cheeks flushed with heat.

"...How is it? Too tight?" 

"A little...". Hijikata was asked to be honest. If he felt any unecessary pain or discomfort, he was to let Gintoki know. "B-but it's fine. I can manage". 

"Don't try to act tough. I'm serious. I won't allow you to feel any pain during this. It's about pleasure, got it?" 

"What's with you? You're acting so considerate". 

"I said I didn't want you feeling discomfort. I won't take that back, alright? How is it now?" 

"Good...It's fine, I mean". Gintoki let loose another breath, tracing his hand smoothly down Hijikata bare ribcage. He was exposed around his torso with no way to cover up. It really was exciting. Without doing anything, Gintoki was excited. 

"Okay...". He gulped, composing himself. "You ready?" 

"I guess. I don't know how to feel, though. It's a little exhilirating, if you think about it". 

"Yeah. It's the same for me...Oh, man...I'm so excited but so nervous at the same time. Think I'll be able to perform?" 

"Shut it. You'll be fine". 

"I...Now I'm all self-conscious. How the hell did you get so calm and confident all of a sudden?" 

"Why the hell are you the self-conscious one?" 

"Look, this is ruining the mood. Do you wanna get into it right away or should we have dirty talk first?" 

"Don't ask me...A-and I think I'd feel less comfortable if you started talking dirty". 

With the position Hijikata was in, he couldn't help but feel a little self-conscious himself. This was just as awkward as their very first time. Trying new things always turned up an awkward mood. 

"Alright, then...How about I...How about we start with a kiss and see where it goes?" 

"...Okay. Okay, a kiss sounds fine...".

Swallowing their fears and nervousness, Gintoki made the first move. With Hijikata restrained, there was no way for him to make any sort of leading move. He wasn't to do anything like this. Gintoki moistened his own lips before going in for Hijikata's. A very delicate kiss was brushed over Hijikata's when he closed his eyes and prepared for something more intimate and thrilling. Yet another delicate kiss was placed, and another. And soon enough, cupping Hijikata's cheek, Gintoki pressed firmly for a deeper, much more passionate kiss. Their noses pushed together, and their tongues inevitably met in the middle. Although stressed and nervous, Gintoki prepared himself for a deeper kiss. Sucking on the bottom lip and playing with the neighbouring tongue, Gintoki's heart began to pound. He closed his eyes and indulged. 

The feelings that coursed through them as of now were mostly emotional and mental: excitement, anxiety, a little fear of what was to come, but also this feeling of warmth that caused their hearts to throb and their heads to feel light. Hijikata's chest was falling and rising at an almost breathless pace. This exhillirated feeling right at the beginning would grow and grow, spreading into this almost endless, breath-taking scene. The concept of doing something different provoked the excitement and the wonder if it would feel any different for either of them. Gintoki was more aroused when seeing Hijikata in restraints, and Hijikata was aroused by it in one way or another. He couldn't describe it when everything was already such a blur. 

Gintoki pulled himself away from the kiss, leaving only a saliva string to fall and run down a breathless Hijikata's chin. His eyes were glassy and his face was flushed. From a kiss, Hijikata was already in a pleasant little world of his own. Gintoki gulped again.

"You okay?" 

"Yeah, I'm alright. So...what next?" 

They had slept together countless times, yet there were two new items into the mix and-...Ah, that reminded Gintoki. He had an idea about "what was next". Without so much as a word, he reached for the end table, and Hijikata watched curiously. Gintoki pulled out the usual condom for protection, a bottle of lube and...the body icing, blueberry flavour. Setting all three of these items to the side, Gintoki first picked up the sachet of body icing. It was a simple concept of spreading it on and licking it off, yet he was a little nervous about using it. Too bad. He had to bite the bullet. Realising that they had done a lot of things in the bedroom, he knew for a fact he could manage this much. It was nothing but a simple concept of lick it on and spread it off. Wait...No...What? Fuck! 

Gintoki unfolded the opening of the sachet, as they had already opened it for their taste test. And from there he wondered where to begin. Looming over Hijikata body, he figured that the upper half was a good start. With Hijikata's neck and nipples as vulnerable as they were, it was an opportunity he couldn't pass up. 

"Alright...I'm gonna use some of this on your...nipple area, so tell me if it hurts or...Y-y'know...". 

Hijikata held back his lips for a second. He turned his head away, his cheek pressing against his arm as it remained bound above his head. As the sachet was tipped over gently, the baby blue substance slowly oozed out from the opening, trickling down towards his nipple, first of all. 

"Hnn...! Haa...". 

"How is it?" 

"It's warm...It's really warm". 

Gintoki only added a little bit of icing before setting the sachet aside. Gintoki did need to build up much courage anymore as the anticipation was pulling him in for a taste. Getting in close enough he slicked his tongue across Hijikata's hardened nipple, gaing quite the surprised reaction. 

"Haah...!" The taste was sweet, and the sound of Hijikata's sharp gasp was even sweeter. The leftover residue on, and around, Hijikata's nipple was lapped up with a few flicks of the hardened nub. "Haah...haa...Gin-Gintoki...". 

Gintoki wiped his chin, licking the sweet taste from his lips. He was far from done. Taking the sachet again, he poured some residue onto his tongue, leaning his head back until he caught a fair amount. Once again the sachet was set aside, although more impatiently as Gintoki leaned in for the other nipple. He pressed his coated tongue against the hardened nub, wrapping his lips around it to, this time, suck. 

Wet and slippery, his other nipple was played with. This was...It was incredibly pleasurable, allowing Hijikata's voice and frantic panting to escape as his mind tried to process what he was feeling. "G-Gintoki, wai-...!" 

Hijikata jerked his wrists, unable to move due to his binds. Clenching his teeth, he endured the pleasant vibrations that rippled on through his body. He wanted to wrap his arms around Gintoki's head and run his fingers sharply through his hair, but neither was quite possible. He wanted to hold and touch Gintoki, but had to refrain himself as the tie around his wrists was there to hold him back. His voice continued to escape him with no way of muffling it.

Gintoki pounced towards Hijikata's neck, placing kisses and lick marks excitedly. The minor sensations of pleasure allowed Hijikata to relax, for about a second. Gintoki managed to jimmy his knee between Hijikata's legs and lightly, very lightly, press against the buldge restraint against his pants and underwear. 

"A-ah...! Gintoki, wait, you ba-ah!" 

Hijikata's legs collapsed on either side of Gintoki's waist, weakened by the sudden attack on his lower half, which twitched and throbbed in anticipation and eagerness to be touched and dealt with. 

"Sorry...Am I hurting you? I'll stop if-". 

"N-no...It doesn't hurt...Not at all...". 

Gintoki, for a moment, stared into Hijikata's glassy eyes, and they stared right back at him. And somehow Hijikata was managing a smile. Hijikata never acted like himself in such a position. He looked so erotic and...Amazing. He was amazing, and Gintoki couldn't get that thought out of his head. Caressing Hijikata's cheek, brushing away the loose strands of hair which were damp with sweat, Gintoki moved in for a soft kiss. Thier lips met, and the sweet taste of blueberry hit Hijikata. He licked Gintoki's lips out of instinct, making squishy, moist noises, moaning softly when Gintoki pushed his tongue past his lips, flicking the sweet taste around Hijikata's tongue. Their lips locked and parted, tongues still swirling around eachother passionately. Gintoki very slowly lowered his body down until his chest lay across Hijikata's. Parting from the kiss, he caressed on side of Hijikata's face and kissed the other. 

"Hijikata...". He whispered, kissing his jaw softly. "My heart's racing like crazy right now. Can you feel it?" 

Absolutely. Hijikata listened intently, feeling a second throb against the other side of his chest, right next to his own heart. Gintoki's heart...It was beating so fast, thumping excitedly against Hijikata's chest even when his breathing was so calm and his smile was so relaxed. 

"Hm...Your heart's beating really fast too. You excited?" 

Yes, clearly. Hijikata was obviously very excited, and in waiting. He waited patiently for what was next, unable to speak as the words failed to go past his quivering lips. So he nodded. He nodded weakly, turning his head to look Gintoki right in the eye. Their noses brushed together, and there was a second of silence before Gintoki's smile brightened, yet his eyes remained focused. 

"Okay...We'll see what's next, hm?" 

... 

Hijikata's legs wouldn't stop trembling. His wrists jerked, restrained still. This feel was amazing. So exhillirating and thrilling that he could compare it to the feeling of flying. Gintoki had been so kind to him, giving him all the pleasure. What came next was pouring an accidental amount of body icing over Hijikata's lower regions to be lapped up. It was sticky and new and weird. The sensation brought heat to Hijikata's cheeks, pulling further and further to the edge. He was panting frantically, struggling to catch his breath under such a situation. Gintoki was quick and practically skilled by now. His lips and his tongue...Everything running up and down at such a pace sent pleasurable shudders up and down Hijikata's spine. 

"Haa...Haa...G-Gintoki...". 

His moaning and whines were music to Gintoki's ears. Hijikata was struggling to hold on. There was sputtering and leaking, but he had not yet reached his peak.. Gintoki was being so kind. He had not told him to hold anything back. The way he looked at him moments ago, smiling and caressing his cheek, Gintoki assured him that there was nothing to hold back. By now, those words echoed in his head as dozens of butterflies flapped in his tight, hot stomach. His head leaned back, his mouth drooling with every loud moan. And, soon enough, he could feel the build up and the heat. He had reached his limit, and could no longer force himself to hold on for the sake of anxiety and fear of feeling so good that he could pass out. Thrusting his hips up, panting frantically, Hijikata cried out, his eyes brimming with tears from the pleasure. 

"Gi-gh! Ha! Haah...". 

Arching his back, Hijikata squeezed his eyes shut. His toes curled, gripping onto the sheets, at risk of cramping up. His whole body shuddered and quaked in pure ecstacy. Gintoki gasped for air, panting heavily. He swallowed and gulped down what he caught, wiping away whatever leaked past his lips. It was hot and sticky as always, but Hijikata had managed to let out a lot more than expected. Hijikata lay sprawled out, limp and breathless. Each breath was heavy, uneven, and shaky. Yet he looked so satisfied. 

"Hijikata...Oi, you okay there? You look like you're gonna pass out. Hey, can you hear me?" 

"Mmh...Uh, y-yeah, I can...Haaah...I can h-hear you. I'm fine...I'm really...really okay...". 

"Thank god...All I did was do it orally, and you moaned like crazy. You were even moving your hips...Did it...feel that good?" 

"Hah, you could say that...Although, it feels pretty weird and-". 

"Ah, we'll...clean that up later...Sorry".

"Don't...Don't worry about it". 

Gintoki allowed Hijikata to catch his breath. Although he was reaching his limit himself, he couldn't rush Hijikata. They had gotten so used to sleeping together that they never needed to take their time until now. With this new position, and these new methods, it was okay to take it step by step. The only downfall, on Hijikata's part, was that he was unable to touch Gintoki and give him the same amount of pleasure. 

"So, uh...I guess we should-". 

"Wait, Gintoki". Hijikata's wrists jerked. He had forgotten his inability to move for just a moment, bringing back the longing to touch Gintoki too. "Is there anything I can do for you? I mean...You haven't been touched at all. Doesn't it hurt?" 

"What? Hijikata, I'm-". 

"And don't say that you're fine. We agreed that this sort of thing should be done together, so...So if there's anything I can do too then-ah...Wait, why don't you get off with my thighs? You've done it before, so-". 

"H-hey, don't decide that on your own". 

"I'm just suggesting it. There's no point if I'm the only one feeling good. I don't mind. Really, so...So go ahead. I want you to". 

What was with him, acting like this? Yes, this was about the both of them receiving the same amount of pleasure, but for Hijikata to be so forward and willing...They had come pretty far for all the embarrassment and hesitance to be almost completely gone. Hijikata didn't flinch or show any regret on his face. Gintoki sighed. He had a choice, but Hijiiata was offering so... Smiling, he uttered a quick and sincere thank you before pulling down the zipper of his pants, lowering the hem and his boxers. Panting softly, he removed his own restraints. He held back the entire time, but seeing Hijikata so eager to make him feel good too was too much to bear. 

"If I'm too rough, say something, okay? Even if this is for my benefit too, I want to be careful and avoid hurting you, got it?" Hijikata nodded in understanding. 

His legs were raised up, bent back by the knees for more space. His thighs were pushed together with only a small gap, to simulate Hijikata's entrance almost. Gintoki wrapped his arms around Hijikata's knees, and with a long intake of breath he pushed himself through. Soft and moist with sweat, Hijikata's thighs provoked Gintoki to quickly exhale a quaky sigh. Hijikata lay back, the gap in his thighs softening around Gintoki as he moved further in. It felt better for Gintoki, which was fine. As long as he got a chance to release now, the better they would both feel later down the line. Since Hijikata couldn't feel much, there was no need to warn him about movement. Gintoki pulled back slowly, dragging himself along the soft flesh of Hijikata's thighs before thrusting back in. 

The feeling was warm and tight, pressing and squishing against him softly. Hijikata panted softly, closing his eyes as the sensations and the sounds were strangely arousing. Knowing that Gintoki felt good from this... 

"Hah...You're, ah...You're getting hard again. Does it feel good for you too? Hm?" 

"Haah, I...I bet you, haah, feel better...Right? If you feel good too, then I'm content, y'know? Haah...My conscience wouldn't give me a rest". 

The fact that he was tied up, smiling so peacefully...It made Gintoki lose all control. This guy was too damn gorgeous. Hijikata was...Hijikata was gorgeous, in Gintoki's eyes. He unconsciously sped up, rubbing against Hijikata in the process. Only using one arm to hold Hijikata's knees and thighs together, Gintoki stroked out their orgasms, much to Hijikata's shock and dismay. 

"Hah! W-wait...!" 

Hijikata's whole body was jerking, creaking the matress beneath them with every sharp, rough thrust against Hijikata's thighs which he so desperately tried to keep shut. Gintoki squeezed his eyes shut, thrusting and stroking. His hand became moist and sticky from the body icing. Any leftovers leaked through the gaps between his fingers, the sensation hot and wet, sending them both over he edge. However, Gintoki was much closer than Hijikata, thus released first with a pleasured moan and satisfied gasp. Gintoki had unconsciously stopped moving his hand when he released, accidentally leaving Hijikata unsatisfied. But he never said a word about it. He kept quiet, biting his bottom lip despite twitching in Gintoki's hand. Pulling out, Gintoki caught his breath. But he had, of course, caught onto the fact that Hijikata wasn't satsfied with being left like that. 

"Hijikata...I need you to turn over and...get on your knees". 

'"H-huh? Really? Um...W-well...Fine, but...Gimme a minute to get up...". 

"Take your time. I'll even help".

Gradually, Hijikata found the strength to turn on his side, hands still bound tightly. The task was only more taxing due to that. When Gintoki helped him up on his knees, Hijikata panted against the pillow. He was twitching, his hips and legs trembling. Although he was put into an embarrassing position, it didn't matter when trust between them had already been established months ago and they had both been put into this position more than once. What mattered was his unsatisfactory state. He hated to think that it would start aching soon. So, Gintoki decided to sort that out before getting on with the main part of this entire experience, before being connected with him both physically and emotionally. 

"Alright...I'm gonna use more body icing, so get ready". 

"I, I will...". Hijikata was close to saying "hurry, hurry before I reach my limit" but no such sentence came out from his mouth. He remained quiet, staring at his own bound wrists, his fingers gripping the pillows tightly. 

More body icing was poured, only this time it was tipped across Hijikata's entrance. The warmth of the goo shocked him, and a sharp gasp escaped. He was unable to see what was going on, thus only unusual sensations struck him altogether without much warning. He gasped again, clawing into the pillows, when something hot and wet lapped up his coated entrance. It tickled at first, provoking some hard panting and a couple, pleasant moans. When one cheek was spread out, things immediatly intensified and the sensations collapsed on top of him. It was...inside. Warm and wet...It was inside, wriggling around, slicking across Hijikata's soft spots, but was unable to reach any deeper than the entrance. 

Hijikata wouldn't last like this. It was so soft, but so quick and hard at the exact same time. His body could barely take it. He couldn't take it. Hot breaths surfaced the pillow in which he muffled his moans, covering his lips and jawline in moist heat. And in just a few moments, both actions sent Hijikata to his second peak. It sputtered and leaked out underneath him, but put his body at ease once again. 

"How was it? You okay? I know I sound like a broken record...but I need to know...". Gintoki pet Hijikata's back in comfort, leaning across his spine to provide comforting kisses across his neck and shoulders. With a content sigh, Hijikata gave a nod. 

"Yeah...I'm okay...Let's, haah, k-keep goi-haah...going...".

Gintoki had this urge to untie Hijikata's hands and release him. But he resisted. To comfort Hijikata further, Gintoki hugged him securely from behind, resting his forehead against his shoulder, his heartbeat thumping madly against Hijikata's back. With a relaxed sigh, Hijikata was put at ease slowly, and gradually. He wanted to hold Gintoki's hands, turn around, run his fingers through thick, silver locks, and hold him properly in his arms. That would have to wait. Hijikata wanted to hold on until the very end. But it seemed like Gintoki was excited by Hijikata alone. He considered the restraints to be sexy and they did arouse him, but as of now he saw Hijikata alone and wished to relieve him of his binds. That thought didn't escape him for a moment. 

... 

With some preparation, the bottle of lubricant set aside, Gintoki was ready to enter, finally. Hijikata was moved onto his back for more comfort, although the sweat covering it made that difficult. Strands of hair sruck to their foreheads, and their desire to swiftly continue refused to ease. In the moment, when both men were ready, Gintoki ripped open the condom packet with his teeth and carefully slipped it on before gently raising and spreading out Hijikata's legs. He reminded him once more to say something if it hurt or felt uncomfortable. But both had confidence that they prepared enough for this. Taking a few calming breaths was necessary before Gintoki took his long-waited chance. Pushing Hijikata's legs back, Gintoki's made enough room to thrust inside-slowly, for Hijikata's comfort. 

Entering was smooth, but hot and tight nonetheless. With some effort, Gintoki managed to fit it all inside before pausing to take a breath. 

"Haah...Does it hurt?" 

"N-no...It-...It doesn't...Ha, haah, aah...Gi-Gintoki...You...You can move...". 

Gintoki closed his eyes, lips parted for every heavy breath. Hijikata was throbbing and twitching around him. So soft and warm...There was no way he could get enough of it. And it only encouraged him to start moving, seeing as Hijikata was already quite used to this. A gasp shot past Hijikata's lips, his head thrusting back, when Gintoki pulled out slowly. Feeling wet and empty, Hijikata anticipated for him to quickly move back in. When he did, everything squished together. The lubrication and body icing inside squelched and squished together against his tight, sticky walls. That sensation alone was questionable, yet was oddly pleasant as Gintoki moved in and out repeatedly at his own pace. 

"Haah, haa...I'm gonna move faster...Get ready...".

When given permission it became very clear that Gintoki was more than ready to pick up the pace. In his eagerness, he sharply thrust inside, having Hijikata squeeze and throb around him as the sensation hit him the hardest. Smoothly, Gintoki picked up the pace in each thrust. Hijikata's voice seemed to get louder as Gintoki struck deeper within, hitting the most sensitive spots as he tried to find the right angle. It was hard to tell since Hijikata was quite sensitive today. 

"Gintoki...Gintoki...!" 

Hijikata struggled against his bonds, his toes curling from the pleasure that hit him deeply, over and over and over-almost endlessly. With the fluids building up inside, his stomach and walls felt odd. His abdomen was hot, and his body was coated with sweat. He squeezed and gripped around Gintoki, unable to hold back. His softest, most sensitive spot was being rubbed repeatedly, tingling and rippling around his insides in a wave of pleasure, exiting through dragged out moans and whimpers for more. Gintoki was in his own world of pleasure with Hijikata's walls stroking him tightly with a soft and spongey grip. Fluids leaked out from inside, sputtering out as the speed of Gintoki's thrusting increased to it's maximum. 

Hijikata's eyes widened, thrusting his head back. Once more...Just once more his climax burst out in long, thick sputters. The pleasure was tight and sudden, forcing him to clench tightly around Gintoki, giving him his climax as well. Hijikata wasn't in much danger of being completely filled, as the condom covering Gintoki up prevented that. Their chests heaved out of sync, their breaths hot, their bodies moist with sweat. Both men were once again messed up from yet another session together, connected in both body and...They were certainly connected by their emotions, mixed together among the cries of eachother's name or the reassurance that neither was feeling pain nor discomfort. Carefully, although lacking energy, Gintoki used his strength to scoop Hijikata up by the back and lift him up from the mattress. He brought him in close, hugging him as the poor guy collapsed against his chest. Kindly, Gintoki untied his wrists, allowing Hijikata to wrap his arms around Gintoki's neck for a two-sided cuddle. 

"Gintoki...Gintoki...". Hijikata whispered his name in a hoarse voice, coughing to get rid of it. Finally he could run his fingers through that natural perm, and feel much more connected this way. 

"Hijikata...You really are too cute today...". 

"Shut up...Can't you call me anything else besides cute?" 

"Du-mmy...Dummy Mayora". 

"If anyone's dumb, it's you. Seriously, wipe that idiotic smile off your face". 

"Hm...No can do. You've made me really happy just now. I'm happy...". 

Running his own fingers through Hijikata's hair, Gimnoki brought him in to connect by the forehead, closing his eyes with a soft smile. Was there any real reason for him to be so happy? Hijikata didn't really do much. Then again, Hijikata was quite happy at this moment, too. He recognised this feeling as happiness, but couldn't figure out why it was particularly bright and warm at this very moment. Maybe..Just maybe being with Gintoki just like this was what brought on this tender-hearted mood. Just like this...Alone together, under the morning light, when Hijikata couldn't clearly see the shine in those maroon eyes and sense the radiance and joy from that smile. His heart would not settle, and the butterflies continued to flap around his stomach. What was this...What was this feeling...? 

... 

Steam poured out from the bathroom once the door had opened. Hijikata finally exited, feeling much more refreshed after a long bath and at least half an hour of scrubbing. Gintoki had exited long before he did, and was now sitting on the edge of the bed, staring out at the window just as Hijikata had been doing moments ago. Didn't take long for Gintoki to notice Hijikata, however. His head turned towards the bathroom, towards Hijikata, and a faint smile curved onto his lips. 

"Hey, you. Feeling better?" 

"Um, yeah. Thanks for your help". Hijikata blushed under Gintoki's gaze, trying not to recall the events in the bathroom. It was embarrassing enough having Gintoki bathe with him at a very, very short distance but to have him assist with cleaning up...Hijikata's cheeks could only redden. 

He, too, sat on the edge of the bed by Gintoki's side, covered by a single towel wrapped around his waist. Beads of water dripped down his torso, the smell of his body wash and shampoo attracting Gintoki like a moth to a flame. Gintoki wrapped an arm around Hijikata's waist, placing a soft kiss into Hijikata's damp hair. 

"So, how're you feeling?" Gimtoki asked, glancing towards the alarm clock on the end table. "It's still pretty early, so we can go grab brunch if you're hungry". 

"I'm starving, so yeah, we should". 

"Good to hear 'cause I'm starving too. We can go to a diner or a coffee place for muffins or...You sure you're okay? You're kinda quiet. Do you...regret using...y'know? Bondage and-". 

"N-no, I...I actually don't. It wasn't as bad as I thought originally and...It was nice. Sleeping together just now...It was really nice. I'm just a little tired from last night". 

"Mm, okay then. I have to ssk though: would you...do anything like that again? Only...using more stuff? Would that be okay?" 

"...I'll think about what else we could do but...I wouldn't mind, just as long as it's with you". 

Gintoki smiled to that shy, but sure, response. He leaned in, kissing Hijikata's cheek softly and affectionately. From here, his breath smelled minty from toothpaste, but his kisses were always so much sweeter. Rubbing Hijikata's back, Gintoki pulled away with the same fsint smile. 

"You should get dressed before you catch a cold. We'll grab something to eat and then just spend the rest of the dsy together, I guess". 

"Sounds good...". 

The beginning of winter...When snow fell and the pavements were coated iin frost when there wasn't a day of snowfall. But this morning was bright, and the air was crisp and clear. Although it was getting colder, Hijikata noticed the warmth circulating within his abdomen. It was getting warmer, and the butterflies grew. He took a deep breath to relax and rid himself of this, but one thing he couldn't escape from was the familiar feeling. It was oddly familiar, yet he couldn't help but want rid of it, or at least let it ease. He recognised it and in his mind, although he didn't want the words to echo in his head, the thought past by once and only once. And from there...his heart skipped a beat. 

("How long...How long as it been since I felt like this?") He wondered, both tired and...almost afraid of what this feeling was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First off, I do not necessarily ship Otae and Kyubei together. I see them as having a platonic friendship, but even so Kyubei still has feelings for Otae regardless.
> 
> And I suppose that whole '"I'm not gonna make it explicit" stuff went out the window, but I'm trying to make it about the emotional aspects as well, and avoid using particular words. I'm trying to take their intimate moments seriously and make it realistic. I didn't use incredibly explicit words, just descriptions on how they were feeling both emotionslly and physically. The only exception here is the dialogue.


	29. Caring Must Not Require Question or Conditions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter! I could say nicer things but I have to put a little warning here and say...there are some gross depictions in this one. Not gonna go into too much detail, but, well...I doubt it's that bad. Anyway, I do hope you enjoy.

Snowing again, huh? The snow and the lights were attractive with this prerty little glow, clouding the sky. A cigaratte disintegrated between Hijikata's lips gradually as he paid no mind to it, admiring the scenery floating down from above in a relaxed swarm of frost and snow. His cheeks were tinted red, and his hand, which gripped a convenience store bag, was turning both blue across the outer skin and red within the palm for his tight grip on plastic handles. When reality returned to him, he lacked a reaction and very casually retracted the cigarette from between his lips, which had not yet been chapped by the winter frost. A sigh of smoke, and the relief washed over him. It came to him; what he was originally supposed to be doing when he suddenly sneezed and caught hikself off guard, standing around in the freezing cold like a goddamn ice sculpture. 

"Crap...". He cursed under his breath, continuing his walk, sniffling, smoking the rest of his cigarette away before it burned up like a match. 

If Gintoki had tagged along this may have been a lot less taxing, mentally. Hijikata had spent an hour freezing his ass off to buy a couple bottles of bourbon and snacks after quickly running out during the first couple hours of their "date". And this was a date, sort of. Relaxing in the house with some booze and snacks was better than sitting in a cold restaurant or cinema. After the blackout two nights ago, some facilities suffered more damage in power than others and many were closed for repair. What a winter. The beginning of a season and already disaster struck. Something to laugh about, although holding no comedy material whatsoever. That day was shitty. Thinking back, it was shitty. Sure the family got together, only for them to fight and quarrel until the power returned. 

Hijikata blew out smoke from his last drag, stopping at a smoking area to crush the remnants of paper and ash into the little ashtray set up beside a vending machine. Being right next to one, he checked the current pack stored in his coat pocket. Three cigarettes lay inside, as well as a pit of ash at the bottom; from when there were no ashtrays around. His hand dove inside his coat pocket once more, and some loose change from his purchases at the convenience store rattled around until he grasped all of it at once. Holding out his palm, he counted and balled his fist up again before approuching the machine. He hadn't been smoking as much, but it never hurt to have an extra pack for those stressful days at the office. He slid the loose change into the coin slot and picked out the usual brand among many others, some of which reeking of horse shit and cigars. 

He picked up his new pack and went on his way again. He was really holding back from returning as soon as possible with more booze, unintentionally. Gintoki was either gonna be pissed or asleep. Either or, he didn't want to deal with that. Gintoki was especially disagreeable when he was drunk. Not in a violent way, just down-right aggressive and kind of annoying. Wasn't he dating this man? Wasn't he close to him? Wasn't his heart skipping a beat right now, thinking about his sweeter moments? It was. It really was, and it had to stop. That smile returned time and time again, and Hijikata realised how often he was sighing during the day because of it. The question remained: what was going on with him? With Hijikata? 

... 

Compared to the dim hallway outside, Gintoki's apartment was brightened up yet the mood was still and mellow. From the entrance, sliding off his shoes, covered in snow at the heel and soles, Hijikata could see the naturally permed hair resting on the arm of the sofa, like a ridiculously fluffy and chubby cat. Just a big ball of fur. Had he fallen alseep, after all? Removing his coat, setting it on the counter top by the door, Hijikata finally entered the apartment without a word as of yet. He walked towards Gintoki, looming over the sofa to check if he was sleeping. The floorboards creaked at the simple yet discreet action of leaning over the sofa's back to check up on Gintoki. Quite a sight, he had to admit. 

Gintoki was sprawled out on his side, breathing softly in a peaceful slumber, his cheeks also tinted red but from drinking a few harmless bottles of beer while Hijikata was gone. By tye small display on the coffee table, three was enough to put him to sleep if you exclude the two parked together on the opposite end of the table's surface. 

"Idiot. If you were going to fall alseep then head straight to bed". He scolded him quietly, very lightly brushing his fingers to Gintoki cheek. The skin was rather hot, and moist with sweat. Was it the alcohol? 

He sighed, grabbing the blanket that hung over the couch to be draped over Gintoki's body. No way in hell could Hijikata carry this useless bum all the way to the bedroom. In an almost doting fashion, Hijikata made sure Gintoki's feet were covered and that any loose strands of hair didn't get in his eyes. Seemed like a perfect cue to call it a night. Setting down the plastic bag of booze and potato chips, Hijikata intended to head straight to bed, even if Gintoki couldn't join him. When his back turned away from Gintoki and a single step was taken to head for the staircase, his hand was grasped and his fingers were squeezed rather weakly. Of course he turned his head and looked down at Gintoki, seeing as he was now awake. Gintoki was smiling up at Hijikata as a greeting. 

"What? You gonna leave me here on the sofa with just a blanket?" 

"Haah...Were you pretending to sleep?" 

"Pff, no. Who do you take me for? Some petty housewife waiting for her husband to come back from the bar? In this case I suppose it's "a househusband waiting for his husband to come back with more booze and snacks". 

"Are you still drunk? You're talking a load of crap, you know". 

"Hm...It's pretty cold. Wanna cuddle for a bit? I could use the company". 

"Now who's petty? Even if you didn't ask, I'd still do so, seeing as your awake and sort of conscious". 

"I'm not drunk. Honestly, I've sobered up since you took your sweet time getting back". Gintoki sat up steadily, swaying for a second before composing himself. Anyone could see that he was drunk. But he wasn't slurring his words or acting outrageously. That was a good sign. 

Hijikata comfortably sat on the sofa and pulled the plastic bag closer towards his legs. 

"Do you still wanna drink, or call it a night?" 

"Well, you've already gone to the trouble of buying more booze, so...It couldn't hurt to drink a little more. But just a little". At that hushed suggestion, Gintoki caressed Hijikata's thigh smoothly and leaned in a litte closer, the bitter smell of beer clear on his breath. "I want us both to be fully conscious for tonight, y'know". 

Hijikata swiftly covered up Gintoki's mouth to block up the smell of his breath. He wasn't very subtle about it either. 

"Your breath reeks of alcohol...". 

"That's rude". Gintoki's voice was muffled by Hijikata's cold palm, right up until he moved it himself and spoke clearly, pouting. "So does yours, asshole. I'm gonna brush my teeth anyway, so keep your panties on". Gintoki reverted back into a seated position, at a short distance from Hijikata, sinking his back and rear into the couch cushions, picking at his ear, sulking for being pushed away. 

"Haah, I'll get two glasses, if we're still gonna drink. Stay put, and quit sulking. It's normal for people to be disgusted by beer-breath". 

"What are ya, a woman? If you're nit-picky about the little things then other people will learn to be nit-picky about you". 

Hijikata came back with two glasses. By the time he sat down, he realised how chilled to the bone he still was from walking around outside. He shivered, and then- 

"A-achoo! Ugh...". Hijikata sniffled, his eyes brimming with tears after sneezing quite sharply. 

"You okay there? Sounds like you're getting a cold". Gintoki was pouring himself a drink, but stopped half-way after Hijikata sneezed. "Maybe you should go to bed? Call it a night". 

"I'm fine. Let's just have a couple more drinks, then we can both go to bed". 

Gintoki pulled that "don't say I didn't warn you" type of expression, followed by a sigh. He sipped his drink, savouring it's significantly smoother taste than the beer. Why didn't they drink this earlier? Right, it was stronger. One little sneeze from Hijikata was brushed off as they continued to drink just a couple more before bed. That was all. Gintoki had planned to get under Hijikata tonight and do the do, but that would take some time to sober up and have a clear head. It would probably be worth the wait, since Hijikata hadn't topped in a while. While they had the place to themselves, it was a good opportunity. 

... 

The light inside the bathroom was flicked off, and Gintoki exited with a hint of minty toothpaste lingering on his lips. No way Hijikata could complain now. He entered the bed, sliding under the covers quietly to join Hijikata, who was sitting upright and waiting for him with nothing to occupy his time but his thoughts. When Gintoki crawled in beside him, pulling the coverlet further in, Hijikata scootched closer as well. The sheets shifted across their legs, and with a quick kiss, Gintoki smiled. 

"See? All clean". He grinned, showing off his pearly white teeth. He relaxed a little under Hijikata's touch with his hand softly carassing his cheek. "Do you wanna...get to it? I've sobered up after bathing and cleaning up, so...". 

"I see...Then I see no reason not to. C'mere...". 

Hijikata pulled Gintoki in for a second kiss, shutting his eyes with intent to go a little deeper. Running his hands up Hijikata's chest, pressing his palms into the flesh and muscle, Gintoki guided his fingers all the way up, around Hijikata's nape and through his hair all while parting his lips for Mr Initiative over here to take the lead. Gintoki moved onto his back without any need for a push, as he had been anticipating these events all evening. The sharp flavour of toothpaste lingered around their tongue and lips, remnants of the substance left on the corner of Gintoki's lips were smudged by Hijikata's more moist, pressing lips. Heat radiated from Hijikata's cheeks. That was normal in a situation like this, however it wasn't just Hijikata's cheeks that flared with heat. His nape felt quite hot around Gintoki's fingers, as well as his chest when Gintoki's hand snuck under his shirt. He pulled awaymas the heat was practically searing, sweat and all. 

"Hijikata...are you sure you're feeling okay? Your skin's all flushed". 

"I'm feeling fine. Just...warm. I'm just a little warm". 

"I'm not gonna take your word for it, but...Don't try to push yourself. If you're feeling shitty then don't try to push yourself too far. Got it?" 

Hijikata cupped Gintoki's cheeks, pushing back his bangs with a grateful smile. He placed a kiss on his exposed forehead in thanks before letting go and allowing Gintoki's wavy bangs to flop back and shroud his eyes just a little. Gripping a cluster of Hijikata's shirt and grasping a tuft of hair Gintoki pulled him back in for a kiss. The heat around Hijikata's face was concerning, as well as the line of sweat already sliding down his forehead, dampening his bangs. Knowing Hijikata he always pushed himself despite all odds, and it annoyed Gintoki how the guy never thought of himself. Maybe it was wise to stop and get some sleep. Maybe it would have been better for Hijikata to rest if he wasn't feeling a hundred percent well. But for the sole reason of lust and slifht impatience, Gintoki didn't utter a word. And he would potentially regret it later down the line. But as Hijikata pressed the blunt of his knee down there, rubbing softly, Gintoki's heart swelled and any reasonable thoughts faded to black. 

... 

Too much preparation left Gintoki unsure about what he was feeling. Obviously there wasn't much time to fathom the sticky situation Hijikata left him in, having accidentally poured out too much lubrication. So when Hijikata had made his entrance, Gintoki couldn't hold back his voice when his walls clamped around Hijikata, softly but tightly as everything squished together. Gintoki's tongue hung out, his head titled back,as he frantically tried to breath as much as his moaning wouldn't allow him to-as much as Hijikata w ouldn't allow him to. 

"Haa, haa, hah, ha, a-aaah! Ah! Hah! Hi-eek! Hijika-a-aaah~!" 

The pillow under his head and the matress cover under that were gripped tightly. Gintoki's legs shuddered and twitched while trying to hold them up. Hijikata had taken a rougher and more teasing approuch near the end. Having his chest exposed underneath his raised shirt, Hijikata went for the two perked up nubs with his fingers; pinching them; rolling them; twisting them; playing with them overall. With both actions, Gintoki's pleasure was twisted into this almost unbearable series of sensations stirring him up inside. 

"Hm-mn! N-nnhaah! Hijikata! Hiji-ah!...-Hi-...-kata! I ca-uah, aah! N-no! To-too much! Too muuuch!" 

"Haa, haa...Oh god...You're twitching...s-so much...Ah...It feels so good...Gintoki...". 

"It's too much, you bastard! I'm gonna-ah! Not gonna la-aah...I can-nnh! Nnnh-oooh!" 

Gintoki was having more trouble keeping his voice down thsn he was presenting all the pleasure he was feeling through his facial expressions and the rhythmic movement of his hips. His cheeks were a pretty red, as were his eyes; glassy and unfocused. Drool slid down his chin, his tongue coated his saliva from both kisses and the inability to shut his mouth. The opportunity to dive on in for more deep kisses was always open, although it left them both breathless. 

"Hijika-ha-ahmnn! Mmnph!" Gintoki's tongue was slippery and wet, his lips moist, clinging to suck on Hijikata's tongue. He only gapsed away for air, thrusting his head back when he felt his release drawing near. "Haah! Hahh! Ah! Ah! Agh! Ua-hah! Ha, ha, n-nnh! Haa! Hijikata! I can't-...anymore! N-no more! I can't hold it in an-nn! Anymo-oore! I'm at-haa! Ha-ahn! I'm at my limit! I'm go-oh! Auh! Auuh! Co-uh! Co-uh, uh! Uhhn! Coming! Coming! I'm comiiing! Go-uh! Gonna-uah-aaaah! Aaaah!" 

"Come...You can come...I'm...almost there, t-too...". 

Pounding the deepest, most sensitive areas between Gintoki's soft, moist walls, Hijikata was sendinf further and further into a sea of ecstacy and satisfaction. Only a few more hard, quick thrusts did so as Gintoki arched his back, squuezing the pillow under his head as he released. The pressed clamped around Hijikata, both soft and wet, gave him the same sweet relief as he, too, cried out with joy. Gintoki twirched around him for a mere moment, the condom protecting them both filling up like a water balloon. Without pulling out quick enough, Hijikata collapsed forward in a daze, only just catching himself by his forearms pressing into the matress. He cooled down and relaxed on top of Gintoki; heavy and exhausted of all energy. His arms scooped under Gintoki's sweat-coated back in a gentle and very hot hug. And in return, Gintoki hugged back, petting his hair as he, himself, cooled down and took several, long, relaxing breaths. 

Hijikata was hot under his touch, sweating, near to passint out right then and there on top of Gintoki's heaving chest, ribcage and second-hand smoke-riddled lungs. That was an exaggeration. His lungs weren't as charred as this bastard's. He was just so heavy on Gintoki that it was bothersome and worth complaining about with exaggerations and sympathy cards. "Too much second-hand smoke has damaged my lungs and you're making it worse by crushing 'em you bastard". But when in this quiet atmosphere, Gintoki's heart thumping wildly against Hijikata's ear as he listened, it couldn't be helped if both men could fall alseep like this. Aside from the pain in Gintoki's ribs, and soon enough between his walls if this guy didn't pull out well...Maybe it wasn't so nice when put that way. 

"Ah, Hijikata...I know you're exhausted, but...do you mind pulling out? Gin-san can barely breath with you on top of me like this...Hijikata-kun~?" 

"Mmh...". 

"What's, haa...The matter? Do you feel sick? Dizzy?" 

"No...It's just...really cosy here. So warm...".

"Y-you can get all cosy with me later but d-do you mind p-pulling out? It's starting to feel like constipation, if I'm honest". 

"Right...S-sorry...". 

Hijikata's breath trembled, as did Gintoki when his insides were vacated and a feeling of complete ease swept over them both. Hijikata weakly, got on his side of the bed, removing the used condom with a sigh. A tired appearance...That thought couldn't escape Gintoki as he stared at Hijikata through worried eyes. Overall, he was irritated that Hijikata pushed himself. Was he really unwell? His pale complexion, flushed cheeks and dark eyes were a dead give-away. Silly idiot. But, then again, Gintoki was also an idiot for giving to the temptation of a magical evening when Hijikata wasn't himself. Dammit... 

"O-oi, just take it easy. Get some sleep". Gintoki very kindly draped the coverlet over Hijikata's body. In return, he smiled up at Gintoki. 

"What're you saying? I'm fine, just tired from...y'know. Plus I might have had too much to drink earlier, so...I'll feel better tomorrow". 

"You'd better. I'm no caregiver so if you get sick, you're pretty much screwed". 

"Hah...I doubt it......Goodnight". 

"Night...Now go to sleep". 

Gintoki snuggled up with Hijikata, rubbing soft, soft circles into his back as he watched those eyes close. Seeing Hijikata visibly drift off, Gintoki felt at ease. In the moments before falling into sleep himself, Gintoki moved in closer and closer until he was close enough to hold Hijikata in his arms, out of comfort. Gintoki had gotten sick numerous times due to carelessness and negligence for his health, mostly due to work and the time it soaked up over twenty-four hours. But he had never seen anything like this. Compared to an ordinary cold, Hijikata was already flushed and sweating and at a loss of energy right at the beginning. Obviously this condition he was currently was the lead-up to a cold. But how bad was it? He would have liked to think that it would all go away with some rest, a bathnin the morning and maybe some painkillers but this wasn't as easy as that. And Gintoki, despite not being the caregiving type, was concerned; greatly concerned for Hijikata. It couldn't hurt to call the local doctor in the morning and have him examined. Better safe than sorry. Although that's the same line a tipsy Gintoki used when he asked a sober Hijikata to go out and safely buy more booze in the freezing cold, and the combination of working non-stop didn't help. Jesus Christ did he feel bad now... 

... 

... 

When waking up that morning in a state of grogginess and heat, Gintoki felt heavy and...gross. He sniffled, coughing, opening his eyes to a sore chest and a freezing cold room, or was that just him? He let out a groan, rubbing the sand out of his eyes wearily. With another sniffle, and a gulp-revealing his aching throat-it had become very clear, very quickly, that he had caught a cold over-night. So Hijikata was sick after all, and had passed it on. From his position, lying on his stomach after tossing and turning the night before, Gintoki looked to Hijikata's side and his eyes became wide. He had fully woken up upon seeing Hijikata in such a condition. 

"H-Hijikata...!" He was awake, trembling, sturggling to get up as he cupped his hand securely over his mouth. Gintoki sat up immediatly, crawling to his side. "Hijikata, what's wrong? Are you gonna puke?" Hijikata nodded weakly with his head lowering further. 

At that it was only instinct that led Gintoki to curse and rush out of the bed to grab a basin or bucket from the bathroom. As he recalled there was one under the sink, collecting dust. It would have to do. He was dashing or the bathroom, hoping Hijikata would hold on. This wasn't just a cold--clearly. If he was nauseous then Hijikata--Hijikata, of all people--must have been really sick. For the first few seconds of examining Hijikata before making a mad dash to the bathroom, Gintoki noticed Hijikata's gastly appearance due to this cold; pale complexion, bullets of sweat running down his bare torso from his hunch over back, and also his flushed face, dark circles under his pretty, pretty eyes. Ruined his good looks, that's for sure. But out of concern and consideration, Gintoki wasn't to be so crude. All he thought about was easing Hijikata's pain. If he had to vomit then he had to vomit. 

Gintoki brought the basin beneath Hijikata rubbing circles into his back for comfort and ease. 

"It's okay...Let it out and be done with it". 

Hijikata uncovered his mouth immediatly, panting and gagging over the basin, with tear-filled eyes and a string of drool descending from the tip of his tongue. Gintoki didn't look directly at the scene as he focused on consoling Hijikata with back rubs and kind words. 

"Let it out, get it out of your system, yeah? Get it all out. It's alright...". Gintoki was ill, too, but not as bad as this. 

He sighed, glancing away for about a second when the retching and the moans of agony clawed at his ears. Gintoki was more used to holding Takasugi's hair back when he got wasted with two servings of sake, way back when. He would look apathetic, rubbing the same circles into his back, saying "I told you so" despite being drunk himself most of the time. But this...Knowing Hijikata was in physical pain, he couldn't handle it in the same way. He watched over Hijikata, enduring the sounds and the pungent smell that followed. Then came the sharp gasp of relief, followed by choking through a clogged throat. He gave Hijikata a moment to breath and spit out the aftertaste in disgust. 

"Better...?" 

Hijikata shut his eyes, nodding. He wasn't crying, but his nose was runny and his lips were messy with drool and traces of vomit. If his illness was this bad, a simple cold, then maybe it was a good idea to contact the local doctor after all and have this poor boy receive a quick check-up and prescription. First of all, it was more than necessary to wash and freshen up. 

... 

Hijikata sat upright in the bed with several soft, cushioning pillows pressing against his back, soaking up sweat beads even after bathing and almost passing out from the heat and the steam clouding his senses. He already felt dizzy and out of it, but refreshed after bathing and eradicating the taste and pungent stink of vomit from his mouth with toothpaste and mouth wash. He, somehow, managed to clothe himself in some spare, loose pieces found in the closet and drawers. And was provided with a mask to conceal his cold. Tucked under the covers, Hijikata tried to relax and "take it easy", although he intended to go to work that day. Yes, he still wished to work despite being too unwell to even move without some assistance. 

The distant sound of a tray clanking brought Hijikata's attention back to reality, as his mind was elsewhere for the length of time Gintoki had disappeared from the room. He couldn't quite remember what Gintoki intended to do, as he was caught in a daze, his mind rambling on until he was prone to getting a headache. He looked up at the door, but flinched when a series of coughs tickled his throat and seared his windpipe, begging for release from the very core of his chest, pain circling around, almost burning. Gintoki entered the room, dressed, with his own mask hanging under his jaw and chin. He sniffled, bringing the tray over to the bed. 

"I brought some stuff from the kitchen and downstairs bathroom. It's not much, so I'll-...". Gintoki paused to sniffle before he sat on the bed, sitting the tray upright on its stands. "I'll have to go grocery shopping today, and grab some more things". 

"Aren't you sick? The hell do you think you're doing, wanting to go out like this?" 

"You're one to talk, stupid workaholic. I already called the gorilla and told him you were off sick, so you're definitely not going anywhere. And I called Granny to tell her I couldn't work, and she didn't believe me, rotton old hag. I persisted at least seven times before she said "you're really sick?!" Honestly! I'm not liar! I'm no-ugh!..!" Gintoki was interupted by his own collection of tough, wheezy coughs.

"Take it easy. If you exert even your voice, you'll only worsen your condition...Haah, what a pain. I'm supposed to be giving a testimony in trial today, presenting evidence that I worked endlessly to collect". 

"Hijikata, you can barely move, never mind give testimony for an investigation. Here...I know you puked earlier, but maybe you should eat something. It's just miso soup and a serving of rice. I woulda put an egg on it, but that might make you sick. If you want anything else, lemme know, otherwise...Try to eat something, okay? I don't wanna see you waste away in here". 

"...I know. I, I understand...Haaaah...Thanks for the food...". Hijikata lowered his mask to eat, although the reluctance to do so was clear on his features. 

Gintoki picked up his own bowl of rice, forced to avoid azuki beans coating the plain side-dish out of fear; the fear of vomiting it out. Before digging in himself, he made sure Hijikata was up to eating something. With a breath of ease and preparation, Hijikata picked up his steaming bowl of rice, chopsticks and...he easily dug in bit by bit, taking small amounts between his chopsticks, chewing them slowly. Seeing that he wasn't already sick of plain rice due to his cold, Gintoki also ate in small amounts of rice, each grain sticking together in an almost sickening cluster between his chopsticks. 

"Oh...". Gintoki covered his mouth with the back of his hand as he swallowed, a sudden thought sparking among a cloud of others that weren't all that vivid in this condition. "I, uh, called the local doctor. She should be coming by eventually, when she manages to get through traffic". 

"You didn't have to do that. I don't need a check-up for a cold...". 

"Tch...You wanna die or somethin'? Listen, you were in a really bad shape when you woke up. I've have colds before, but I've never threw up. I've been in pain and suffered splitting headaches, but...". 

"Everyone's different. I was just...feeling really rough, but I'm better now, after getting it all outta my system". 

Firmly setting his chopsticks down onto the tray with a dull clink, Gintoki reached out without hesitating and pressed his palm across Hijikata's forehead. To make sure, he slid his knuckles down his cheek and shook his head in disappointment of Hijikata's habit of acting tough when he was clearly in pain or suffering. 

"You're a terrible liar around me. Idiot, you're burning up. You-gh!" 

Hijikata pressed his palm to Gintoki's forehead instantaneously as if to confirm his position and gladly say: 

"You're one to talk". Swatting his hand away, Gintoki pouted. 

"It's not as bad as yours. Look, after we eat, we're gonna get some ice packs, see the doctor and then rest all day. Although I still gotta go grocery shopping".

"Dammit! You shouldn't be telling me off! You'll only make your own illness worse, idiot!" 

"Well we don't have much of a choice! It's not like you can't go out! And I'm not gonna make those brats go out as soon as they come back, or they'll get sick, too". 

"Haah...If you insist, but...wrap up warmly and...don't stay out too long". 

"Hm, I know, don't worry. God, I never knew you could be such a worry-wart. It's kinda cute". There he goes with the "cute" again. "I'll wait for the doctor to come by and see you, then I'll leave. Kagura should be home soon, too". Gintoki gently caressed Hijikata's cheek. It was hot, boiling against his skin, moist with sweat. Poor guy... "Damn...I really wanna kiss you right now, but...That'd be kinda disgusting, huh?" 

"It would, actually...". 

Although they were a close, affectionate couple, there were limits. And although they were both sick, sharing a mouth-to-mouth kiss may incidentally worsen Gintoki's condition. However, there were certainly ways to work around a direct kiss, but still leave the affectionate intend and care on the moist little mark left. Gintoki flinched when leaning in, lifting himself up to place a small, tender, chapped kiss on Hijikata's forehead. When pulling away, their eyes met and a subtle expression of astonishment crossed Hijikata's features as Gintoki smiled kindly. 

"Try to finish eating. You can't go on without an empty stomach, and...Well, I'm not that tough either. They say food is fuel, so it shouldn't matter how plain this is. Let's both try our best to stomach it". 

"You're...You're right about that. I'll try to eat, even if it is hard on the stomach and taste-buds". 

They picked up their chopsticks and bowls of either rice or miso soup once more, munching down and sipping away at a very steady pace to avoid throwing them back up. The glasses of bottled water helped a little, too. Never had either of them eaten such a bland meal without a main dish. But it was a start. Each stomached their own food, slowly poeering through it with calm demeanors and pale faces. Although it was physically painful, they had to endure it to get better. Once the good doctor prescribed some strong medication to send them off to slumber land then they were set, ready for hybernation for about a week or so. But the need for concern remained, seeing Hijikata in such a weakened state. There was still so much left behind closed doors, apparently. 

...

Gintoki was asked to wait outside the bedroom, before the good doctor said "until I come to check on you next, Gin-san". She then smiled impishly before entering the bedroom with Hijikata. Yes, this doctor had moved around from the clinic to the hospital, paying many visits to Gintoki during those periods of neglecting his health and inevitably collapsing on his apartment floor. They knew eachother fairly well, but for months he had kept out of hospitals under Hijikata's watchful eye, serving meals at his desk and forcefully dragging him to bed during late nights. Been a while since Dr. Yamamoto paid a visit to his room, only to receive harmless flirting and requests for an extra pudding after meals were served. Nothing serious, of course. She was one hell of a woman with a vivid and bright personality as well as a good head on her shoulders, something Gintoki lacked according to the doctor herself. 

He waited downstairs, preparing ice packs inside the freezer to clear up the worst of the worst, head-splitting migraines. During this time of patience and nose-blowing, coughing, overall physical strain, Kagura decided to come home from her slumber party at around noon. Had she slept in at her friend's house? No question. It had happened before, it was likely to happen again. 

"Gin-chan, I'm home~!" She called out from the entranceway, immediatly greeted by Sadaharu as he dashed to the front door. 

Kagura slipped out from her girly, over-priced boots, habitually tapping the nose of her shoe against the floor in order to shake off the crust of frost and snow. 

"Oi, could you quit getting snow on the floor?! It melts and then Gin-san has to-...Ha-ack!" 

Gintoki gripped the counter-tops edge, his hand gloved for warmth. He coughed into his mask after once again exerting his voice. He had to stop. He really had to stop yelling and sleep. That was the main thing, but then again it wasn't since he had to drag his ass to the grocery store for ice packs, orange juice and rice porridge. And then it was off to the pharmacy to pick up a pescription that would, undoubtedly, written out by the good doctor. But, anyway, enough complaining. 

"You okay, Gin-chan? Did you get sick?" 

"What does it look like?" 

"No need for sarcasm. You should be in bed, aru". 

"I know...". Gintoki groaned, returning to his task of preparing some hot tea for Hijikata, alone. "But Hijikata's sick, too, and in a much worse condition. So I'm taking care of us both". 

"Seriously? Hmm...I'm sure you'll both be okay. Since when did you let a little ol' cold let ya down?" 

"Thanks, kiddo. Did you eat and yet?" 

"Yep. I bought breakfast muffins on the way back". 

"Did you have a bath at your friends house?" 

"No...Ami's bathroom smells like old people's soap 'cause she lives with her grandma". 

"Then hurry up and have one, or you'll freeze. There's a coffee milk in the fridge for you if you want it after your bath". 

"Thanks, Gin-chan!" 

Kagura, once her coat and back-pack were set aside, with Sadaharu swept up in her arms, she made a dash for her bedroom to collect a towel, spare clothes, so on and so forth while Gintoki sighed, hoping she didn't catch this cold. Kagura was a pretty tough girl, so Gintoki held onto his doubts that she would fall under the same sickness. It wasn't likely to happen as long as she kept a safe distance until their cold's cleared up. 

He had been waiting for the water inside the prepared teapot to steep with a small bunch of tea leaves, circling and floating inside. When he felt ready to serve it, he poured the tea into a cup and watched with a hazy focus as the steam drifted from the tea in very vague swirls. Then it was just a case of picking up the ice pack from the freezer and setting it alongside Hijikata's freshly made cup of green tea: quite a way to warm him up while Gintoki was gone. He headed upstairs, wondering if the good doctor had finished her check-up already. It shouldn't take too long, normally, even if she decided to double check--"better to be safe than sorry, Hijikata-kun"--such examinations wouldn't take longer than five to ten minutes.

He walked to the door, reaching for the knob before he could distinctly hear the two voices from inside. Wirh his head already leaning closely to the door, he listened and could just hear the conversation. It wasn't a habit of his too eavesdrop, but he heard a rather interesting sentence spoken from the other side. And judging by the voice, it was the good doctor. "-ave you perhaps su--ered any -ong-lasting child-hood dis--ses?", was what he heard through an annoyingly vage and muffled voice. And the response was a quick and easy "no". He listened further. And on the other side... 

And on the other side, the good doctor was taking notes precautiously. With his hands neatly clasped and collecting his lap, Hijikata waited for the next question. There ought to be more, surely. 

"Have any of your relarives suffered similar diseases?" 

"Ah...Well...My Mother did. She was diagnosed with sickle-cell anemia and, essentially, it...It took her life. My father-well, I doubt that's important, so nevermind". 

"Are you sure?" 

"Yes. He died of lung cancer-but I heard he was diagnosed about a month after I was born so...It isn't important". 

"I see. I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean-". 

"N-no, it's alright. It's fine. Carry on, please...". 

"Ah, well, there isn't much to add. I doubt that you're anemic, but I will advise that you drink plenty of fluids, eat plenty of protein-based foods and vegetables. I know nausea doesn't help, but I'm going to prescribe some medication that may help". 

Using her clip-board, and an official note of prescription, Dr. Yamamto scribbled down the correct information to be taken to a pharmacy in exchange for these capsuales-as Hijikata noticed when briefly reading the note upside down. Dr. Yamamoto clicked her pen right after scribbling her signature on the bottom right corner. She immediatly passed it on to Hijikata with a smile. 

"If it gets worse, have that nuisance outside call the local clinic again and I'll come back. Just in case, I may have to take a blood test right now. Is that alright?" 

"I'm not that fond of needles, but sure...Just to be safe". 

"Alright. Just hold still and try to relax for me while I set up the needle". Of course she would carry stuff like that; a clean syringe for blood tests. Perhaps she brought one just in case? 

Taking the med-kit from her big leather bag, Dr. Yamamoto prepared several items. First of all, she reached in to find a small box of disposable gloves and slid them on for pre-caution. All doctors and nurses do it, it's mandatory. In the med-kit there was a set of perfectly clean needles and a strap. Naturally Hijikata was a little nervous, as he wasn't very comfortable with the idea of having an extremely thin, but sharp, needle pierced into his skin. The dentist freaked him out, so who could say that needles didn't have the same effect? His sleeve was rolled up and that strap was tied tightly around his bicep to pop out a tiny vein from the skin between his bicep and forearm. The doctor held the joint of his elbow, tapping her thumb and finger against the skin. His arm felt very hot; he was so nervous. He had not been faced with any sort of needle since he received his injection for the mumps as a kid. This was honestly a little unnerving. 

For caution and cleanliness, the doctor picked up a disinfectent wipe and swiped it across the skin to prevent infection from the needle, no matter how sanitary or clean it actually was. The doctor then picked up the needle and very carefully pierced the very tip into the very tiny vein she had popped out from under his skin, pale and almost invisible. He chose to man-up and endure the pain, the numbness of having his blood extracted. His palm was sweating and his fingers tingled, but the act was over in no time flat. Quickly extracting the needle, the syringe containing a very small amount of blood, the doctor immediatly placed a fresh wipe over the piercing in his skin and put pressure on it. His arm ached-his whole arm. His fingers twitched under the pain and pressure, but his voice did not come out. 

"There. All done". She smiled, trying to convince him that it wasn't as bad as it seemed. If only she knew..."I'll have a test run on the blood sample, and we'lll check if your mother passed the anemia on. It's not impossible for a child to be born with the same disease, but then again it may just be my hunch getting ahead of me. Better to be safe than sorry". 

"Y-yes, I know...Better to be safe than sorry". He repeated, solemnly as the pain was practically throbbing. 

With just a few more second of pressure, the doctor took yet another clean wipe and very gently cleaned the wound before taking out a band-aid from her kit to place over it. 

"There you are. Now, about that prescription...". She began, taking the needle to empty out the blood sample into a littoe bottle, also packed within the ki among a couple other. "If you take that medication twice in the day, one in the morning after a meal, and one in the evening after a meal or snack then you should get better in no time. Okay?" 

"Okay. Thank you". 

Hijikata watched Dr. Yamamoto clear everything up appropriatly, to be disposed of properly once she returned to the clinic.

"Just doing my job. Take care, Hijikata-san. And tell that Gin-san to take care of himself too. I know it's none of my business, but he needs someone like you to breath down his neck every once in a while, 'cause I certainly can't do it". 

"Um, sorry, but it's not like Gintoki's a helpless child. He can take care of himself just fine, and, so far, he's been very kind to me". 

"Oh...I see. Maybe I went too far with words. He's a stand-up guy, just a bit of a nuisance whenever he collapses and is dragged into hospital for his negligance. Anyway, take care. Remember, call again if your condition worsens, and I'll call once that test comes back".

Dr. Yamamoto made her exit from the bedroom with yet another goodbye before she faced forward and saw a very, very unimpressed Gintoki standing in front of the door with a tray like a doting mother come to take care of her son, and she walked in only to hear her son's friend call her crazy. Unimpressed. Not hurt, just pissed. She knows exactly who won't be coming to the next birthdsy party. 

"I'll, uh, see myself out. You take good care of Hijikata-san". 

"Uh-huh. I'll be sure not to "breath down his neck", Ayaka-san". 

"Sorry~...!" She called out from the stairs, making a very swift exit. Gintoki rolled his eyes, entering the bedroom in a damp mood. What a bitch...She was nice and all, but what a bitch. 

Pushing the door open with his foot, Gintoki moved in with the tray rattling in his hands. As well as opening the door, he thrust his foot back and the door swung away from him, leaving it ever so slightly ajar. He sat down on the edge of the bed, once again bringing the tray to its stands above Hijikata's legs.

"I made some tea and prepared an ice pack for your head. Should help you relax while I'm gone. Need anything else-maybe something from the store?" 

"Ah, no, but thanks anyway. Here's the prescription". Hijikata handed the folded prescription paper to Gintoki, hesitant, wanting so desperately to say "you shouldn't have to go, you should rest", but behind his mask he bit his chapped bottom lip, knowing Gintoki would argue back again and again. It was pointless. 

"I won't take too long. Afterall, I don't wanna stick around in a freezing cold grocery store until my balls turn blue". 

"Classy...". Hijikata muttered sarcastically, but was partially ignored when Gintoki picked up the ice pack, placing the long, ice-cold sachet across Hijikata's forehead as he slumped down comfortably, or at least as comfortably as he could manage. 

"See you soon, okay? Don't go anywhere, otherwise you'll be getting your ass dragged right back to bed". 

"I know. No need to remind me". 

As a sweet gesture, Gintoki ran his hand through Hijikata's bangs, pushing them back to make room for a kiss. It was planted on an exposed, very warm spot of skin just above this ice pack. And with that, Gintoki took his leave with a smile, a quick goodbye, and a sneeze as he walked back through the door. Hijikata hoped to himself that Gintoki's usual negligence of health wouldn't catch up to him again, and that his condition wouldn't worsen due to this expedition for some odd groceries. Hijikata shut his eyes as the ice-cold temperature of the ice pack melted across his aching head. It was the only relief he would receive until those painkillers came along into his lap with yet another cup of green tea. With his eyes closed, he was enveloped my the warmth of the bed's cosy coverlet, the cool moisture of the ice pack set across his forehead, killing of his headache slowly, and the tenderness and affection of Gintoki's kiss. And for a while, even for a few uncounted minutes, it sat with him and the image of Gintoki petting his hair with such an endearing smile came back to him several times in a slow, calm and heart-warming loop. And before opening his eyes, he genuinally didn't want the thought to slip away, for the time that Gintoki was gone... 

... 

... 

A simple basket was enough, rather than a big shopping cart that would only serve as uneccesary luggage for a very tired and ill Gin-san. He wandered around the grocery store, mask on, energy and focus off on all accounts. He had scribbled a very quick list of needed items for this slow period of healing, but could barely read his own handwriting from how hastily he wrote the thing, to then proceed with crumbling it into his coat pocket before going on his merry way. From memory, he could recognise what he wrote down and, with that, he managed to go around the aisles to pick up what was needed: orange juice, rice porridge, ice packs, cough drops, comfort foods such as soup and instant ramen and tissues; plenty of tissues. 

Around a particular aisle, for those comfort foods, he looked around the shelves, picking up and reading over particular soup cans or cups of ramen before placing them into the carrier basket. He was very particular, avoiding the cheapest crap. Of course, instant ramen was cheap but there was a limit to how cheap they were. The ones that were higher in price-a cheap price nonetheless-were, as Gintoki had found, better yet convenient. And as he stood in the aisle, reading over the price briefly, he agreed with the idea of making proper ramen once he and Hijikata moved past the worst period of their sickness. That, however, might have dragged on for Hijikata longer than it did for Gintoki. 

("She was diagnosed with sickle-cell anemia and, essentially...It took her life") 

"...". That had nothing to do with it, right? 

"Excuse me, but may I ask why a wealthy writer such as yourself is wandering around in this section of the grocery store? Don't tell you went broke already?" 

Gintoki, first of all, shot a glance at whoever spoke up, but remained quiet even as his eyes met with...their's. Fuck. This. Rather than shock or surprise, there was only irritation and annoyance like a tick scratching into his skin with it's teeth. He wasn't fit enough to get so worked-up. 

"I should ask you the same. Why the hell is such a wealthy, chick-flick actor running around this section of the grocery store? Did ya get lost?" 

"Very funny...What a "pleasure" it is to see you again...Gintoki". 

"You too...Kintoki". 

Kintoki Sakata. Repeat:...Fuck. This. Guy. Why, of all places, after weeks of never once running into him did Gintoki have to stumble upon his "oh so godly presence" here, in a grocery store? A fucking grocery store where the more stuck-up, rich boys and girls avoided? Then again, Takasugi bought food from here, as Gintoki witnessed with his own two eyes, yet he had never set foot in a covenience store since college. What a weirdo. But back to the blonde, blue-eyed fuck wandering in the convenience aisle, where he didn't suit to stand. 

"You look awful". He said with a smile. "Did Toushiro-san realise he could do much better?" 

"You wanna fight, pretty boy? I may be sick, but I'm not so unfit that I can't kick your scrawny ass". 

"Okay, okay, I didn't mean it. Speaking of which, how is my dear Toushiro-san?" 

"It's not really any of your business". 

"Why not? I'm only asking how he's doing. I miss him, really. It's been so long since we've last spoken...". This guy...What a royal pain in the ass, asking about Hijikata in such a dreamy-eyed way. Aren't they just acquaintances? And, yes, Gintoki avoided using the words "friends" so loosely, having such a low opinion of this man after what he did-or tried to do. 

"Who're you, his estranged auntie? He's doing fine. Sick at the moment, but fine". 

"He's sick?!" Why the hell does he sound so distraught?! "Can I visit him? I should be allowed that much, right?" 

"Jesus, relax...Anyway, why would you go see him? He's in a pretty bad condition, so I doubt you'll wanna be at risk of catching it". 

"That's true, but I still want to do anything I can to make him feel better. After all...I care about him, very deeply". 

"You barely know him! Don't spout shit like that as if you've fallen head-over-heels for him!" 

"O-of course not. I'm over that. I'm over...him, as hard as it was. All that councilling wasn't for nothing, you know". 

He took councilling to get over a crush? This guy was...How to put it..."One short of a baker's dozen"? He wasn't the most sane person, that was for sure. Behind his cool, collected demeanor as an award-winning actor there lay a melodramatic narcissist, sexually confused and at a cross-roads between being attracted to women and being in love with a man he barely knew. In addition he was obsessed with the idea of becoming the "main character". Sorry, kiddo. That spot has already been filled. 

"Whatever. Fine. If you wanna see him, you can. Just don't be too...clingy or over-bearing, 'cause he's not a hundred percent. And neither am I, so learn to turn down the volume, alright?" 

"If it means I can see my dear Toushiro-san and wish him well, then fine. I'll be on best behaviour...". What a brat. 

Regret and stupidity. That's what came to Gintoki's aching head as he agreed to letting this psychopath into his home, and bedroom, just to see Hijikata for a few minutes--and that's all it was going to be: a few short minutes. But knowing this guy, he wanted to take it one step further for Hijikata, "his dear Toushiro-san". Ugh... 

...

Gintoki could hardly believe the situation. Even after giving this guy permission to come up to the apartment and visit Hijikata, he was caught up in disbelief; the fact that the was letting this guy into his apartment to visit Hijikata, the man Kintoki had fallen for despite knowing that he was already going out with Gintoki. He even bought flowers-the jackass! Gintoki naturally took the lead when entering the apartment, making sure Kintoki didn't seem too eager to walk into this threshold. 

With a relieved sigh, Gintoki stepped into the apartment first, weakly removing his shoes before heading to the kitchen in order to unpack all this stuff. Kintoki shortly followed after him, but froze just as Gintoki did when both looked to the kitchen area. To Gintoki especially, it was a huge concern to see Hijikata, in his condition, out of bed, preparing something at the counter-tops. What was he thinking? Gintoki said he wasn't going to be out for too long, so why did this foolish fool feel the need to foolishly get up and foolishly-...What was he doing?! 

"Hijikata, what the hell are you doing outta bed?" Gintoki sounded firm, like a parent questioning their child as to why they got up so late at night, carrying their bedsheets to the bathroom-oohhh... 

When Gintoki came into the kitchen area, with his outdoor coat and scarf still on, Hijikata turned around and incidentally revealed what he was doing. With his hands gloved, he held in one hand a fruit knife, and in the other he held an apple which had already been cut half-way into smaller pieces. Hijikata didn't react, really. He simply shot a furrowed look when clearly saying with his eyes "I'm not a kid, quit worrying, old man", his mouth and nose covered by his mask. 

"I'm cutting up some apples, what does it look like? It's common sense to say that you can't take any form of capsuale on an empty stomach. Besides, these are for you too because you've been on your feet all morning. You need to rest, too". 

He certainly didn't stall or give a vague response. Hijikata was honest and straight-forward, preventing Gintoki from arguing back. Even so, he did. 

"Don't worry about me-". 

"Of course I'm gonna worry, idiot. You'll only worsen your own condition. Don't shoulder it alone". 

"You're one to talk". 

"Um, may I just-...". In a way, it had somehow become an advantage to having Kintoki around at this moment. He had got inbetween them before they started fighting about which person cared and worried about the other the most. Stupid...They knew it was stupid to fight over something like that. Man, their insults and disagreements had really changed... 

Anyway, Kintoki stepped into the scene, carrying his own plastic bag of groceries and...his get well gift. 

"Uh...K-Kintoki?" Hijiiata hadn't heard from this guy for so long, yet here he was out of the blue again. 

"Hello, Toushiro-san. A little bird told me that you weren't feeling very well, so I thought I'd come by and...cheer you up a little, even if I can't cure you-as much as I'd give anything to do so". 

"He isn't dying, y'know, you fruit". Gintoki mumbled to Kintoki alone, intending for him to hear as he boiled with frustration. What, did he steal that line from one of his chick-flick-...Ah, "drama's"? 

"Anyway, after hearing how you were, I bought you some flowers; something a little brighter". 

The bouquet was skinny, holding a small bundle of bright and beautiful flowers that Hijikata didn't recognise. It was a nice gesture, he couldn't deny that. 

"Um, thank you, Kintoki...". 

"They're a combination of bluebells and calla lilies. Do you like them? I feel as though the blue bells match your eyes and that the calla lilies bring out your fair skin. So beautiful and elegant...". 

"Uh...". It still felt somewhat awkward for a man to give another man flowers, although it wasn't impossible and it certainly wasn't a bad thing. But the only flowers Hijikata had ever recieved from Gintoki were scattered roses on the bed, and that was it. It was a nice, romantic gesture that didn't leave Hijikata with having to answer to "do you like them?" 

"I'd do anything for you, Toushiro-san. I really would. I know our relationship must remain platonic, but to be honest I'd...I'd-". 

"Will you cut it out? Way to move around Hijikata so casually when the guy he's going out with his standing right here". 

"Gintoki's right, y'know. I already said before that I didn't want that kind of cosy relationship with you. I'll accept the flowers because it's a nice gesture, but beyond that I can't have you say those things so easily. I'm serious. I won't put up with it". 

That was the Hijikata Gintoki knew well. Even when weakened in body, his mind and will refused to falter under the pressure of this blonde douche attempting to flirt with him. When stared down at eye-level, and told off firmly enough, Kintoki wisely backed-off. 

"Yeah, you're right. You're totally right. I'm sorry, Toushiro-san. I get a little carried away around you, as you can see". That was a freakin' understatement. 

Gintoki moved past Kintoki, further towards Hijikata with his own grocery bags, emptying them out one by one across the empty side of the counters, beside the chopping board in which Hijikata cut up apples. 

"I gottcha a gift too: practical shit: orange juice, ice packs, soup cans, instant ramen, cough drops, a fluffy hot water bottle and your prescribed medication". 

"Thanks, Gintoki. Although I never expected anything of you, I'm grateful that you would do this". 

"Quit that already. It's normal to do these things. I want you to get better as soon as possible so you can get your ass back to work-in a healthy condition. It's not like you would, but I won't have you dying of a cold, ya hear?" 

And so the sweet but casual side surfaced, alongside a friendly pat on Hijikata's shoulder that should have been a kiss, if Kintoki wasn't standing right behind them. Of course he was still behind them. 

"Why do I sense some favouritism?" 

"It's not favouritsim!" Gintoki immediatly argued. "Don't act like we're on equal stance! I'm dating him! Besides, I bought in practical things, jackass!" 

"Jesus, Gintoki, lower your voice. I still have a headache...". 

"Sorry. I was just pissed at this guy. Psh, "favouritism" he says...Anyway, Hijikata, you go back to bed and rest while I finish up here". 

"It's fine, I can do this much at least". 

"You sure 'bout that?" 

"Now looks who's the freakin' "worry-wart"...". 

"Honestly, you two can't ever come to an agreement, can you?" Why was this guy still here, speaking out like it was his business? Both Hijikata and Gintoki stared at this guy, moreso agitated with eachother than with blondie over here. "If you don't mind, I could help out a little-but only if it's for Toushiro-san". 

"Hell no!" Again, Gintoki was prepared to argue back, his irritation quickly shifting. "Don't you have somewhere to be, Mr. Pretty-Boy-Actor?" 

"Actually, we're not shooting until tonight, so...I'm free until six in the evening". 

"We're not having you stay here for six straight hours!" 

"Sorry, Kintoki, but Gintoki and I...We can manage ourselves, somehow". 

Kintoki was expected to pull a long face of disappointment, yet he was more persistent than anything. He brushed off their comments, thinking up and alternative on the spot, posing by reaching out to them with a rehearsed smile that ground against Gintoki's gears. 

"Please allow me to do something. Even if it's for a couple hours, I want to make sure your conditions do not worsen any further. In one of my most well-known dramas, I played the part of a doting but strong brother taking care of his bed-ridden younger sister. I did plenty of research on illness and methods of care. I know precisely what's to be done. Besides in your condition, who's going to watch out for Kagura? It's nearly lunchtime, isn't it? And you want to prevent her from getting sick, right?" 

"...Haah, fine. But only for an hour". 

"Hijikata...?!" Gintoki was devistated. Anyway, this was Gintoki's apartment, so wasn't it up to him whether the blondie could stay? Clearly not-not in this situation, apparently. 

Gintoki, think about it. Right now neither of us are really fit enough to run around for ourselves, nevermind the China Girl". 

"I'm managing. I literally went grocery shopping, and I'm still fine". 

"Your cheeks are bright red and your voice is a little hoarse. It couldn't hurt for you to rest. And Kintoki did offer, so it couldn't hurt to accept it and pay him back later". 

"Oh, no. I'd never ask anything of you, Toushiro-san". This guy...! 

"...Grr...F-fine, but only for an hour. I won't have him running around my apartment all day. He can help out with Kagura's lunch and then-". 

"And yours as well". 

"Y-yeah, whatever. And then he can leave. Sound good? Okay, then". 

Immediate regret. There was nothing more to it than that as Kintoki smiled in a strangely enthusiastic way. What, just because he could be around Hijikata for an hour? Clearly that "councilling" of his was for jack-shit. What did he even do for therapy? Sleep with a bunch of women to get over one man? Seemed likely, and pathetic. But maybe Gintoki wax making assumptions out of spite, after all the guy was helping out with Kagura as well. He got along with her quite well, and Shinpachi. Still Gintoki remained irritated with this guy. His attitude and oh so perfect lifestyle was annoying. He actually hoped having him around here wouldn't be too much of a pain...but, of course, he had his doubts.

... 

Finally...Finally, after wandering around on his feet all morning, busting his ass like a selfless guy towards the man he was going out with, Gintoki had finally found peace under a coverlet, cuddling a spare, fluffy, hot water bottle in his arms while Hijikata hugged the new one. Gintoki's faintly smelled of dust, caught in the fuzzy fabric, after being stored in a closet for about a year since last winter. But it was warm and cosy around his bloated, sickly stomach. Only now did his illness sink in as his mind and feet weren't as occupied. He coughed in his mask, putting some pressure on the ice pack across his forehead as he longed for the cold, damp ice to clear his migraine up. A hot head, a freezing cold body. How fucking bizarre, not to mention agonising. If lunch wasn't being prepared by now by that "saint in cashmere" then he would be napping until nightfall. Guess that would be considered sleeping.

Still, he couldn't vent his complaints out loud when Hijikata was suffering just ad much, if not more. With every cough it sounded like he was choking, struggling to let out each one. Every now and then, being as physically close as he was to Hijikata, Gintoki scootched over to pat his back when Hijikata forced himself to sit up a little to prevent choking. A sad sight to see, watching him suffer in so much pain. It wasn't just the coughing, sneezing and headache as Hijikata mentioned how his limbs hurt, how he was struggling to sit up. From his actions earlier, getting up to use the kitchen, he must have worn himself out so easily. 

"Uugh...I'd rather be at work than here...". He moaned, placing more pressure on his own ice pack, yet the pin-balls of sweat still dropped. 

"Fuck that". Gintoki's retore was weak in tone, but not in sincerity. He was right: Fuck that. "Are you seriously stupid? Ordinary people don't enjoy work anyway, then there are only a few who do like going to work despite being sick. But this is on a whole new fuckin' level. You're too weak to keep sitting up every time you cough, so there's no fucking way you'll be capable of dragging your ass to work, ya hear?" 

"Yes...I hear you. It's just that I worked my ass off alongside everyone and-". 

"Look, stop talking about work. You'll make me go insane over here". 

"I'm not gonna apologise. Work is work, and I can't stand it that I got sick during an important investigation. What if this guy slips through our fingers because I-". 

"Hijikata, I swear to god...Well, I'm too weak to do anything. Wait until I take my pills, then I'll...probably doze off and then...". 

"Shit, now you're making me go crazy with your talk of pills and sleep...Agh...I really, really hate this". 

"Join the fuckin' club...".

The cursing and the complaining was like venting, but was not helping the headaches or the cold and flu overall. If anything their need to vent only built up from frustration and the throbbing pain bouncing in their heads like a kid with ADHD jumping up and down on their parent's bed, obnoxiously singing some pre-school tune after getting a sugar high. Fuck that too. So annoying...Thank Christ Kagura was fourteen, knowing the limit to how obnoxious she could be. What a girl. Seriously. And that was the only time that thought would ever reach Gintoki in such an open way. Hell, he mumbled it out loud without context or thought, and Hijikata mistook it for the daze he was in. But back to the point: neither had ever experienced so much pain with an illness. This was the worst od the worst thus far. Wait until they were both old geezers. For them, every day is much more taxing than a measly cold (although you wouldn't call Hijikata's condition measly).

It was during the moment where both men were quickly reaching the end of their tether, wanting only sleep, peace and quiet in this room under both the coverlet and their individual hot water bottles. Sleep was the first thing on their minds, right next to painkillers and and ice cold bucket of water to dunk their heads in. They could deal with their freezing bodies afterwards. When things felt at peace, despite the headaches and aching chests, filled with phlem and built up coughs, they both took their own time to close their eyes in the hopes that they would drift off soon and wake up feeling less burdened by their colds and- 

"Lunch is ready!" 

Their eyes opened slowly as not to be blinded by this man's disturbingly optimistic vibes, and Kintoki's voice pounded within their ears at the very moment when peace and quiet was within their reach. Taken away...It was fucking taken away...Why were they getting motherly vibes from this guy? It was almost creepy how he walked in so comfortably with a tray, skillfully holding it in one hand as the other burst the door open. Kintoki sat by the bed, setting the tray up between both Gintoki and Hijikata. 

"Mmng...". Gintoki groaned, wishing he didn't have to get up. Mr. Fit-and-Healthy did, however, make the effort to sit up once more despite being so physically weak and sore. 

"I made rice porridge, something easy to digest, I cut up some apples and I made some tea along with your painkillers-although they're different as Toushiro-san had his prescribed". 

Wow, good call. Hijikata's medicine was strong stuff, after all. 

"Thanks for the meal". Hijikata picked up his porcelain spoon and small bowl of rice porridge with a little effort; the joints in his arms holding him back with pain and strain, of course. 

Even with the spoon between his fingers, he lowered his mask in order to actually eat. The task of chewing, swallowing and digesting this meal appeared to be very taxing in his eyes but Hijikata was mature enough to understand the concept of eating food for fuel and energy, just as Gintoki had said only a few hours ago. Regardless of feeling a little nauseous, proper meals were still very important. With yet another muffled groan behind his own mask, Gintoki sat up very slowly and hunched over as he reached for his own bowl and spoon. Pulling down his own mask, he ate, and was surprised to find that this rice porridge prepared by Kintoki, the snobby little actor, was actually edible. Not only that but it tasted pretty decent, for some leftover rice. 

"How is it? I must say: you're not the only cook in this series, Gintoki". So smug...So frustrating. 

"It's good. Thank you, Kintoki". 

"I could make better rice porridge-anyone could". Gintoki refused to admit this guy's worth in the kitchen, but chowed down nonetheless for the taste and the hunger that rippled around his stomach. Looks like he wasn't experiencing any serious nausea, just hunger and the flu. 

"Mm. Well we can't test that, considering your current condition". 

"Tch...". Gintoki spitefully clicked his tongue, lowering his bowl in disgust; of this guy's attitude and smug grin, not the meal itself. Thst shit was delicious and easy to digest without hurting his throat. 

"It would be a good idea for you both to have some fruit too". Kintoki had sruck a toothpick into each individual apple slice. Picking up a random piece, he smiled in a cool and calm fashion with a focused gaze, holding the piece of fruit out to Hijikata. "Toushiro-san, say aah~-ack!" 

The moment he even though of conduction such a brazen action right in front of Gintoki, Kintoki received two instant kicks to the face from, one, a very pissed off Gintoki and, two, a very proud Hijikata who didn't take shit like that from anyone except for Gintoki, knowing that he was mostly just teasing. Their feet, clothed in socks, both squished into Kintoki's cheeks as a mere warning. The tray rattled underneath them but did not collapse, as they were careful in that one instsnt of irritation and anger. 

"Oi, do you mind if you stopped acting so cosy around Hijikata? You wanna die?" 

"Kintoki, I'd appreciate it if you didn't speak to me so lightly, especially in Gintoki's presence. Don't think I'll take any bullshit, got it?" 

Retracting their feet, running them back underneath the warmth of the coverlet and sheets, revealed two red marks on both Kintoki's cheeks. His head flopped forward into his hand as he suffered a mild state of dizziness and pain in his already-damaged head. 

"A-alright...I give in...". 

"Good. Did Kagura get lunch?" 

"Yeah, she did...". 

"Good. Thanks...".

"Kintoki, you really didn't have to do any of this, but-even if he doesn't say it-Gintoki and I appreciate it. We're both not at our best, not even energetic enough to drag our feet, so this is a great help. There isn't much else we need, and we can always pay you back". 

"Anything for you, Toushiro-san...and Gintoki, I suppose. You have both shown me so much, although I do still see myself as protagonist material, Gintoki". 

"Whatever, hot shot. If you, Mr. Can-Do-No-Wrong, wanna be the main character go join a different series like Bleach or Attack on Titan, or some harem anime". 

"I might do just that. I'll be the main character of a harem-but observant and grateful for the amount of love I receive". 

"Oi, Gintoki, this fic' is supposed to be realistic, right?" 

"Doesn't stop characters from breaking the fourth wall".

"And isn't this guy supposed to be a working adult?" 

"Let him live his fantasy, Hijikata. Even when in adulthood, men still find fantasies from nurse uniforms to having an existing happy marriage, and we know how rare those are". 

But no self-respecting group of people would be members of a real life harem, correct? Most of the time, the main character has very little respect for the women or men around them and doesn't have the decency to have a romantic relationship with one of them. Plus they are generally dense and useless and so plain compared to men like Gintoki with his natural perm and sadistic tendancies; a man in an adult relationship with realistic decisions and ideals. Not a harem main character. Just a shounen main character, currently in a slice of life fanfic'. Going a little off track here, we know. 

"Are you sure there's nothing more I can do?" 

"No, you've done plenty". Gintoki averted his eyes from Kintoki, scratching the back of his head with a tired sigh. "We're gonna finish up here and sleep. Not like we can offer any hospitality in our condition". 

"It's fine. I have to go home anyway, and pick up more groceries on the way. When I heard about Toushiro-san I dropped everything on a whim and followed Gintoki's lead to come see you". 

"There's no need for that, y'know". 

"Oi, I'll see you out. Coming?" 

"Yes, yes. Allow me to say good-bye to my darling Toushiro-san first". 

"Darling...?!" 

"Ah, right...My apologies. My "friend". My friend, Toushiro-san...I'll speak with you again soon enough. For now, I'll see you later". 

"S-sure...Thanks again for your help". 

"Anytime...".

With that, Gintoki swiftly saw Kintoki out of the bedroom and towards the main entrance despite still being in a weakened state of body and mind. With a blanket securely wrapped around his body, his ice pack abscent from his head, Gintoki walked Kintoki all the way there, waiting impatiently for him to put on his shoes and coat, grab his grocery bag and get out of there. But he felt like getting a few words in first. 

"I'm off. Take good care of Toushiro-san, will you?" 

"Don't talk about him like he's a pet...or the person you're dating". 

"Of course not. Gintoki, I learned my lesson. I'm just...very comfortable around Toushiro-san. He's the first man I've ever felt so cosy around, although I do know it's wrong considering that he already has someone to cuddle and kiss at night, someone to take care of him when he's at his worst. To be honest, I'd give anything to receive the amount of affection and care that he gives to you, and vise versa. In all seriousness, you both seem happy. And although I may he a teenie-tiny bit jealous-not too much, of course! I...I...I s-suppose that I...wish the-...the best for you both...". 

He was too proud to say those words without blinking an eye. He faltered and tripped over his words, his reluctance as obvious as the snot running down Gintoki's nose right now even when he sniffled obnoxiously to pull the gross strings back up into his nostrils. 

"Thanks...". He struggled to utter his response, his throat sticky with phlem. "Take care of yourself, and try not to get sick". 

"I have a strong immune system, so I highly doubt it. Bye, Gintoki. Get well soon, or neverm whatever you feel like". 

"Fuck you too, Blondie". 

With a quiet scoff, Kintoki took his leave then, and Gintoki felt so relieved. So, so relieved, in fact, that it was the best he had felt since contracting this damn cold. With a gentle sigh, he dragged his feet back to the bedroom. If he tripped and fell flat on his face now, his relief would not falter now that he and Hijikata could have some quiet time, alone in their room. Maybe it was a good idea for Kagura to order food tonight, since her guardian wasn't fit enough to cook. Poor kid. Really...But knowing Kagura, she could manage, somehow. 

Gintoki returned to his rightful spot on the bed just as Hijikata was taking his medication. The capsuales were different from their colours, so they wouldn't get mixed up. Besides, Hijikata was smart enough to tell the difference, as Gintoki was, even in such a drowsy and unfocused state of mind. 

"Oh. My. God...Finally...I know I wanted to do as much as possible today, but goddamn am I glad to finally...finally...". 

"I did tell you: you're not well enough to be on your feet all day. Take a rest for the whole day and get your energy back". Hijikata, holding the toothpick between his fingers, slid a slice of apple into his mouth and munched, enjoying the fresh, sweet taste. It sure was a relief compared to everything else he had eaten today, although it wasn't much. 

"Well I'm in bed now. Just glad you are two. Now we can both sleep for the rest of the day". 

"Hm, this must be what it's like to be lazy and useless. Although we have an excuse, considering we're both sick". 

"I was just gonna say-"what do you mean lazy? We're as sick as dogs", or something along those lines. But, yeah, we barely have enough energy to walk propely. We drag our feet instead and hunch over, but I guess all working men and women end up like that". 

"Don't say that as if you work manual labour". 

"Neither do you, Mr. Government Official. Besides, I get exhausted easily and hunch over my laptop during all-nighters, so there". 

"Maybe stress at work is the reason why you're so prone to getting sick...". Gintoki helped himself to an apple slice, his tea and his own painkillers. Nearly slipped his mind. Hijikata slumped down on his back, getting comfortable with the coverlet over his legs, pillows under his head, and the hot water bottle in his arms. "I didn't really get sick as a kid...". 

His muttering easily caught Gintoki's attention. His gaze shifted, and his interest grew ever so slightly. But there was no need to go into much detail. 

"Is that right? I only ever got sick...Eh, just a couple times when I was careless during winter or the rain season, like any normal kid". 

"Mm. Feels silly getting sick like this, since we're adults". 

"Nah, don't say that. Adults get sick, too. It's like..."Kids can sometimes act mature, and adults can sometimes act childish", just like how adults are just as capable as catching something as measly as a cold, just like brats. The only difference is that we take stronger medication". This was kind of true, depending on a kid's age, they can take certain painkillers for headaches and such. 

With another slice of apple eaten, the rest left aside, Gintoki lay down comfortably on his side as Hijikata carefully set down the cups of tea, empty bowls and the plate of spare sliced apple on the end table before safely folding up the standing tray, resting it on the floor to allow room to sleep. 

"I swear to god, colds during the winter-no, in general-are such a pain in the ass". Gintoki grumbled against his pillow, pulling his mask up over his nose and mouth. 

Hijikata also lay down as comfortably as he could possibly manage, pulling up his own mask. 

"I know. But as much of a pain as it is, we'll have to fight through it. That and all the extra work we'll receive". 

"Dammit...". 

At Gintoki's cursing, there was a confident knock at the bedroom door. Obviously it was Kagura come to pay a visit from her bedroom. Good timing. She opened the door when Gintoki tried to clearly say that she could come in, followed by a hoarse cough. She peeked in before pushing the door further out of hernway with this blank look on her face. 

"Gin-chan, you okay? When Kin-chan came into my room to give me lunch, he ssid you guys were in pretty bad shape". 

"We'll be fine, kiddo. But thanks for your concern. Good thing you stopped by 'cause I think you might as well order dinner tonight". 

"Huh...?" Kagura seemed baffled. "I can? I can really order food, aru?" No wonder. It was such a rare occasion to order food in because of Gintoki's privacy, and the fact that he could cook. But for emergencies sake, he stored varies menus from varies restaurants in the set of drawers under the T,V downstairs. "Can I order from anywhere I want?" 

"Yeah, yeah, you can. Anywhere you want. But it'll have to come outta your allowance, and I'll pay the money back later. Order whatever you want, but don't go nuts". 

"Thanks a bunch, Gin-chan. You really are the best, aru". 

"Good to know. Now, Hijikata and I are gonna get some sleep so...could you be a good girl and keep it down?" 

"I'm no kid. It's not like I'll be jumping around and screaming like some spoiled brat. I'll keep it down, but...Just 'cause your dying over there, do you need anything?" 

"Nah, we're good. You gonna be okay taking care of yourself for a short while?" 

"Uh-huh. I'm taking Sadaharu out for a walk soon anyways, so it's not like I'll be lonely. Have a good sleep, you two, aru". 

Kagura closed the door as she left, making sure to close it quietly despite knowing that Gintoki and Hijikata were both still awake. He had to admit, she could be a good kid at heart. All was quiet, and in the moment Gintoki forgot that his chest was sore, that his head ached, that he was freezing cold but hot in the face and that Hijikata was in a worse condition. Out of habit, he scootched closer to Hijikata and very subtly rested his head on his shoulder, snuggling in comfortably. Hijikata, of course, realised this since he was still very much awake although drowsy and in need of sleep. He wrapped his arm around Gintoki's back from underneath and tilted his head about two inches down until his warm cheek leaned over the top of Gintoki's head. Through his mask, his warmth breath was hidden away, as was Gintoki's. That was for the best, but it couldn't hurt to cuddle up now even when they were sick. This cold was past on orally, through kissing and the act of making moist hickeys. Thank god Hijikata was the only one to receive...oral, and thank god he wore a condom. 

Right now, all this was was cuddling. They needed this much after feeling so much pain in their bodies. It was warm and cosy, and it made them both feel good for a change. Things would either lighten up tomorrow, or only get worse. Hopefully the medication would kick in by then, until their next dose. 

...

... 

Gintoki unitentionally woke up, during the evening. He had slept too early, for hours on end. When drowsy and disoriented, but still cuddled up with Hijikata, he just managed to check the time on his watch, sitting between two stacked bowls and two cups of half-drank, most likely freezing cold, tea. Seven-thirty-three in the eveing, is was it read, the hands still ticking away ever so quietly. From the dim light stretching up the walls from where Gintoki faced, itmwas clear to see that the sun was already setting. He didn't want to wake up. He wanted to sleep longer. He wanted to wake up in the morning, feeling a lot less like a pile of shit on the side of the road, waiting to be cleaned up. He was a mess; he knew. From the sweat and the heat and the sniffling, he knew he hadn't freshened up just yet. He only hoped this wasn't a sign of cold and flu hell, come to make his potential week much worse.

He felt the need to get some room, to give Hijikata some space, too. So, he weakly rolled over, avoiding crushing Hijikata's arm as he moved back onto his own side. Upon laying down, the one good thing was that he no longer suffered a migraine. That was the good news. The bad news was his chest still ached, his throat felt scratchy and his nose was stuffed up. He grabbed a tissue from his own end table, blowing into it as quietly as he could manage as not to wake Sleeping Beauty over here. The sickness did ruin his good looks, sadly. That thought re-occured, almost in a light-hearted way that made Gintoki smile behind his mask. 

Hijikata always was good-looking. Not in a "pretty boy" way, as much as Gintoki loosely used that term to insult or tease him. Putting aside his cold for now, Hijikata always was so...naturally handsome, inner beauty and all. Combined together, Gintoki's smile brightened just a little at the vision of a future, half-naked portrait once all this blew over. What an image. Considering their relationship and how affectionate Gintoki had gradually become towards this man, how caring he found himself to be...He imagined that this portrait would be his best work yet, solely because there would be so much more meaning to it than the picture itself. Spoken like a true artist...and lover. His smile faded, but his eyes remained focused on Hijikata. "Lover"...huh? 

He remembered the knock at the door from...several hours ago, although this one was much quieter but still held some confidence that said "I live here, need I say more?" Kagura. Of course. 

"Come in, kiddo". Gintoki replied softly, but clearly; loud enough for Kagura to hear, quiet enough so that Hijikata didn't wake up.

She did enter, the door creaking when so quietly pushed open. In her handm gripped securely, was a plate. The first thing Gintoki could see from where he lay was rice, a lot of rice. When walking towards the bed in silence, and when Gintoki built up the energy to sit up, he discovered a big portion of white rice and...weenie hot dogs? 

"I figured you and the Mayora haven't eaten since lunchtime, so...A-and I know I can't cook much except for rice and egg on rice and...You showed me how to make weenies as a part of my lunch for school, so I practiced that...but you both can't go the rest of the night without something to eat. Papi always told me that the strongest fight through colds with food and fluids, not just rest". 

It wasn't necessarily hard to believe that Kagura would go through the trouble of making dinner for them, albeit a simple one. He wasn't ready to take back that statement yet; "Kagura's a good kid at heart.". She was, at times. 

"Thanks, kiddo. Maybe one day you'll make a good nurse or caregiver. I always say that a lot of the most kind-hearted women go on to care for others at their day job, even if they just take the time to smile and say hello". 

"Is it the same for men?" 

"Sure. I won't generalise". 

Kagura peered over Gintoki's legs, buried under the coverlet, to check if Hijikata was also awake. He wasn't. 

"Is Hijikata-san gonna be okay? Isn't he a cop, aru? You'd think they couldn't catch colds". 

"You're talking about doctors there, but, yeah, I guess 'cause he's supposed to live a healthy lifestyle for his work that he'd avoid sickness. Then again, he smokes and eats mayonnaise for breakfast, lunch and dinner, so...".

"I can hear you both, y'know...". Hijikata opened one of his eyes, looking unamused and unimpressed. Maybe Kagura woke him up when she entered the room, or maybe because they were talking a little too loudly. 

"How're you feeling there?" Gintoki chose to ask on behalf of Kagura as well. Rubbing the sand out of his eyes, Hijikata answered. 

"A little better, but still like crap. My headache's gone, but my nose is stuffed up and my chest still aches". 

"Same here. But Kagura brought up some food, since we haven't eaten since lunch". 

"Really? What time is it?" Hijikata had the exact same idea as Gintoki, and looked to the watch sitting right beside him on the end table. He sighed deeply into his mask, rubbing his eyes and sniffling. "I guess it couldn't hurt to eat something". 

Kagura looked pleased with his response, setting the plate in the center of the bed before speed-walking over towards the door again. 

There's some juice too, so don't start without me!" Start without her? Wait...Gintoki thought that she... 

When Kagura returned in a flash, she sat in the middle of the bed, passing over a pair of chopsticks to Gintoki and then to Hijikata, keeping another pair for herself. She had also brought up three juice cartons that she had saved in the fridge; orange. How odd. Gintoki thought that- 

"I thought you were gonna order food. Y'know, spring rolls, maybe fried rice, ramen, or something more western considering how many menus are down there". Kagura shrugged at that, tearing the straw attached to her juice carton before opening up the plastic wrapper around it. 

"I wanted to make something for a change. Besides, I didn't have any money around and...I used up all the weenies, so even I can't eat all of this by myself, aru". 

The weenies maybe, but the rice too? Was there any reason for her to hide her real intentions with this? Not really. Kagura was as transparent as a mini skirt made of white tissue paper. Bad example from the core of Gintoki's twisted, perverse imagination, but an example nonetheless. Kagura was the first to start eating with joy on her face as she savoured every bite. She had waited a long time to eat anything else after lunch, so this was a god-send despite being such a simple meal that any average joe could make. Gintoki was just as eager, taking two hot dogs at a time between his chopsticks. They were small, so using chopsticks wasn't much of a problem. Hijikata was a little hesitant, but ate when he realised he was sharing a plate with these two. A steady pace was wise, so that he didn't choke or throw up afterwards for eating too quickly. Gintoki was just as easy-going, although eager to fill his stomach.

"Hey, Gin-chan...". Kagura paused in the middle of her meal. Her expression depicted concern, just a little bit. "I'm back in school tomorrow, so...I can't be here to make sure you're both still living. Are you gonna be okay?" 

"Uh, the other thing you said was kinda uncalled for, but, er, we'll be fine, Kagura. All we need is some rest, and we'll be okay". 

"But...". 

"Don't you have studying and an upcoming culture festival to worry about?" 

"Yeah, a little. Our class is doing a performance at the festival and I'm playing an extra, but...I can at least do something to help". 

"Don't worry. We'll be looking after eachother tomorrow, okay?" Although Gintoki volunteered to do most of the work to help Hijikata's condition improve. He needed it a lot more than Gintoki did. 

"If you say so. But I still feel like I should do something. Maybe after school tomorrow I can bring Shinpachi over to help for a little while since Boss Lady is working". 

"He has studying too, Kagura. We'll be fine. Aside from this and Kintoki's...earlier assistance, we can manage". 

Kagura was doubtful, that much was evident in her expression yet she hesitated to respond and give yet another retort as an argument. She said nothing more, realising Gintoki would tell her the same thing over and over; that they'd be fine, that they didn't need assistance, etcetera, etcetera. Best leave it at that. She knew perfectly well that they couldn't manage on their own, not in their condition. So she quietly considered the possibility of doing something, anything, to help. That wouldn't involved washing the nestly stacked bowls, cups and plates set on the end table next to Hijikata. She wanted to think up something else.

"Finish up here and then get to bed, kiddo. You said you have school, after all". 

"I know, aru". Something to do...But what? Was there anyone else that could help? Just...someone? 

... 

... 

His forehead felt...wet, and cold, and almost refreshing; Gintoki's forehead. His eyes were closed, a groan escaped but was muffled by his mask. There was soft coughing, and the follow-up of pain in his head. Another headache. Are you fucking kidding? But this feeling...Easily recognisable as a damp cloth but...Who was wiping the sweat from his brow? No matter how straining and difficult it probably was, Gintoki slowly opened his eyes to the morning light, to a blur, and a figure looming over him with the damp cloth in hand. He shut his eyes once more with a moan of pain, and then opened them one last time with a clear vision.

"You awake, Gintoki? Honestly, how did a little cold weaken you this much? I'm disappointed". That voice...No... 

When his eyes opened, his vision clear, they immediatly widened and he jumped total shock. The person looming over him, nursing him as of now was...Was-... 

"Ga-...Granny?! Gra-ack! Ugh...". Too much excitement. Gintoki didn't manage to get far in his escape as he immediatly collapsed onto his side to curl up and have a coughing fit. In his mind, he tried to put the pieces together in such an unorganised and frantic way. Otose...It was Otose nursing him?! 

"Oh, take it easy, ya damn brat. I come all the way here to watch over you two fruits, and this is what I get? I said take it easy...". Otose patted Gintoki's back, dried patches of sweat soaked into the material, to which Otose clicked her tongue. "You're both a mess, and I'm supplsed to clean all this up? Looks like I've got my work cut out for me. Haven't taken care of a sick person since Catherine got food poisoning from her own cooking". 

"Ack! Q-quit ramblin', old hag!" Gintoki managed to raise his voice, staring down Otose in confusion and hysteria. "What the hell are you doing here?! I mean, wh-khuh!! Kh! Wh-khuh!" He starting coughing again, unable to finish. 

"Maybe it would help if you stopped yelling and let me explain. Haa, I got a phone call from that gluttonous China Girl. She told me that you two needed someone to make sure you didn't kick the bucket. At least, that's how she put it. And, by the looks of things, you do need help. Serious help". 

"We didn't ask for it...". 

"But she did, because she was worried about you".

That girl...She wasn't one to drop it and give in, was she? Gintoki couldn't admit that he was partially grateful for her efforts, and the old hag's efforts of coming here despite work. Gintoki let out a huge sigh, cupping his forehead which was still hot from this new headache. 

"Thanks, Granny. And I owe Kagura thanks too...". Gintoki shifted his gaze, to Hijikata, and faltered with astonishment and near speechlessness, his mind going blank. 

"He was much worse before you woke up...". 

Hijikata's chest was heaving. That was the first thing Gintoki noticed right off the bat. And then there was his face, how bullets of sweat ran down his forehead and cheeks which were stained a deep red. Behind his mask, he was panting heavily. Had it really gotten worse? 

"Hijikata...". 

"He woke up before you did, just when Kagura let me into the apartment. Must have been the noise. Anyway, he was practically struggling to breath and he had a helluva fever. I just brought up a couple damp cloths, new ice packs and some water. I think his tongue was swollen from dehydration". 

"Dammit...Do you still have his cloth?" 

"Sure. Here, help him out a little". Otose wrang out the other cloth and once again soaked it in the basin of water that she had brought, filled with ice. 

Gintoki crawled over to Hijikata's side, taking off his mask in order to clean up his whole face. Running his fingers over his damp, sweat-soaked bangs, Gintoki pushed them back and made soft stroked of the crumbled up cloth across his hot skin. He ran the cloth over his temples and cheeks, his neck and just around his nape for more comfortability. Little reactions came from Hijikata. He groaned, tilted his head to the side, looked like he was having a nightmare. Somehow having the heat around his face eased with a cold wash from a damp cloth, he relaxed a little. 

"That should help. Can I have that ice pack over, Granny?" Without a word, Otose passed it over. And just as Gintoki turned his attention back to Hijikata, ready to gently lay the ice pack over his head, there came a groan, a cough and consciousness; Hijikata had woken up. 

"Haah, haa, haa...Gintoki...?" He was dazed, out of it in this condition. He needed a wash and painkillers, no doubt about that. 

"You okay there? Are you in any pain?" 

"A, haa...A little, but I'll be fine, I think. I'll be fine...Can I...have some water?" 

"Yeah, of course you can". Without asking Otose, he could see the chilled glass on the end table. He reached for it and brought it close to Hijikata. "Alright...I'm gonna sit you up so you don't choke, alright?" 

"N-no, I can manage...Just gimme a second". 

Gintoki wanted to help, but Hijikata insistently sat up on his own. His very balance was trembling, and he was clearly weak, but somehow he lifted himself up enough so that he could have a drink of water without choking. Hijikata took his own grasp of the glass of water as it drew near. Just to make sure his hand didn't fall weak and drop it, Gintoki held on too. Hijikata took a few swigs, allowing his head to fall back into upright pillows with ease once he was finished. He didn't drink much, but by the looks of things it was enough to satisfy him. It was in Gintoki's mind to comfort Hijikata in any way he could. His own condition didn't seem to matter to him at all anymore. The way he was going, his would likely get worse as Hijikata rode down the opposite road and got better. Frankly, Gintoki didn't mind at all. 

"You should both wash up". Otose advised, refraining from taking out a cigarette. "Tama volunteered to help since her college classes don't start until this afternoon". 

"Tama...?" 

"Yeah. She came here of her own volition, saying she would do anything to help you both get better. We agreed that I'd make some breakfast for you both while she changed your dirty bed. You've been sweating and soaking it, haven't you?" 

"Just a little bit". Gintoki answered dishonestly, despite the evidence laying beneath him almost totally soaked in wide patches of sweat and heat. 

"Leave it to us. Can't have my number one author and his partner on the verge of death". 

"How sweet of you, Grandma. Haah...Okay. Hijikata and I will wash up. We leave the rest in your capable hands". 

"Good. Need a hand getting him to the bathroom?" 

"I can still hear you...". Hijikata grumbled, coughing. "Haah...I don't need "help", just a little assistance. My legs feel like their rotting. I've barely moved since yesterday". 

"Yeah, I'll hel-..."give assistance", then. Hold on for a bit and we'll let these ladies give us a hand. I owe you, Granny". 

"You owe me a novel. Work on that once you're back on your feet and I'll be satisfied". 

A smirk lay hidden behind Gintoki's mask as he got up from the bed. He walked over to Hijikata's side, who was sitting up himself and swinging his legs around over the edge of the bed with intent to at least stand up himself. Gintoki trusted he could do so, but just in case... 

"We'll try to take our time. More likely than not, we will". Hijikata stood up without the assistance, but fell into Gintoki's shoulder, leaning against it for just the smallest fraction of assistance to the bathroom and back. "See ya in a bit, Granny. Try not to get sick while you're here". 

"I'm tougher than I look, y'know. Try not to pass out in there". 

"Oi, I'm pretty tough too, with or without this stupid cold". 

Those were Gintoki's final words as he entered the bathroom with Hijikata at his side. He was walking, so that was a good sign. He could lift his head and that was a good sign too. Hijikata wasn't totally weak, although this illness certainly forced disadvantages onto him that he didn't ask for. The man would rather be at work than laying around, having meals brought to him, at Gintoki's side for about twenty-four hours by now. Or maybe he didn't mind at least having Gintoki as company. Gintoki could only assume, whereas Hijikata knew...He knew he was glad to have Gintoki's company, even if they were both sick. 

... 

To take his own clothes off in such a weakened state with his limbs stiff and his mind in a daze, his head aching and his body cold enough without the air around the bathroom making it worse...It really showed how strong Hijikata wished to appear. He didn't want to ask for help to do everything and Gintoki certainly did not blame him. Under the shower head, Gintoki offered to wash his back for him, which was normal but it was an excuse to sneak his way around and wash anything else Hijikata couldn't reach due to how weak he was, physically. But it was rather shocking when Hijikata pushed away the stool to sit on under the shower, and offered to wash Gintoki's back too while facing eachother. Not that that was a problem-they'd seen eachother naked a hundred times by now. It was just a little surprising. He could hardly help himself, nevermind help Gintoki but, then again, there they were washing eachother's backs in a very close fashion, almost embraced in a hug. They kept their masks on only, ready to change them once cleaned up.

"Does this not embarrass you?" Gintoki asked, purposely pulling Hijikata in closer for more reach. He couldn't see what he was doing, after all. 

"No. We've seen everything by now, so I don't see why we should feel embarrassed". True. Exactly Gintoki's point. 

"You've become a lot more fearless, intimately. I mean, you were fearless in general before, but whenever we would have sex or try something new you'd blush like crazy". 

"Well a lot has changed. We know this. Feels like years, doesn't it?" 

"That's a bit of an exaggeration, but I suppose it's something like that".

Hijikata took a moment to cough into his mask, pausing during his task as his chest tightened and ached as if he was experiencing a mini heart palpitation, only it forced him to cough through a windpipe that felt almost clouded with dust. Gintoki kindly patted his back with a little force, only a little. Not like it hurt. 

"I know this is a stupid question, but, are you okay? You looked like hell earlier". 

"Feels like hell...". He coughed again, sniffling from the cold even under a hot shower. "I really, really hate that you have to see me like this. It kinda pisses me off, y'know?" 

"I know the feeling...I'm not gonna make fun of you for it for-...being weakened by a cold. Although...I have to admit...". Gintoki, hiding a grin behind his mask, poked his finger against Hijikata's cheek. "You did look really~ cute last night when you were sleeping so peacefully". 

"H-hey, I thought you weren't gonna make fun of me...". 

"I'm not makin' fun of you, I'm pointing out a fact. You're cute, especially when you don't realise it". 

"H-how the hell would you like it if I started calling you "cute", or something?" 

"I wouldn't really mind, to be honest, as long as it was from the person I like...". From the person he liked, and only from the person he liked...Huh..."Do you really hate it when I call you cute?" 

"It's not something I hate it's just...I could never do that-to anyone. I could never call somebody "cute"..." 

"I see. But that's no reason to feel like you can't be called things like that. Even if you're sick, I still...y'know. I like you, and I think you're...so beautiful that even water can't ruin your looks, or a cold, I guess". 

"Hah...You've become so soft, you know that?" 

"Says you. You're a bigger softie than I am". 

"Shut up. I'm no softie". That was said light-heartedly, followed by a sniffle. 

"Aw, but you got so worried about me earlier~". 

"So did you. You're argument's invalid". 

"I would attack you with this cloth, just-...smack you, but I'm too tired...". 

"Same here, although I don't know how to feel about you wanting to attack me with a cloth, of all things". 

"Wanna fight for real? I'll play-fight and wrestle you, if ya want". Gintoki wrapped an arm around Hijikata's back to pull him in, shaking his fist in his face jokingly before resting that very hand on Hijikata's shoulder. They stared into eachother's eyes and, through the shower steam and the rapidly falling wate from above, they could see the other's individual complexion; pale like snow, with reddened cheeks and glassy eyes. But despite all that... "You probably have no idea how much I wanna kiss you right now, but...". 

"Softie...". 

"Oi, I'm being serious. I will tackle you, even if you are physically unable to fight back. Hm...I do, though. I do wanna kiss you, but we're both dying of a...cold, and our lips are chapped so it'd hurt like hell". 

"Yeah...Can't be helped, though". 

Hijikata had his arms wrapped around Gintoki's neck, brushing the tips of his fingers over soaking strands of silver hair that practically gleamed in the water's shine. He wanted to kiss Gintoki while in the moment too, but it'd be like nose kissing someone, there are disgusting fluids in there that shouldn't be touched, but...Gintoki picks his nose...Totally different from kissing, though, kind of, right?

"Gintoki, you know that the kisses you give me on the cheek or forehead are just as nice". 

"They are, huh? Guess it'll make due until we're healthy again, and after we use a buncha chapstick". 

That was apparently an option if they wanted clean, smooth kisses fast. But in a moment suited for a kiss on the lips, Gintoki instead placed a rather warm and cracked kiss on Hijikata's cheek. He receivied the exact same, of course; warm and cracked. A small gesture that was a replacement for something deeper, for the time being. 

In this moment, they were pulled away from eachother's gazes when there was a quiet and unsure knock at the bathroom door. 

("Gintoki-sama..."). The could hear it, muffled from the other side. But that was definitely Tama. ("I brought some clothes for both you and Hijikata-san. I hope you don't mind") 

"Uh, thanks, Tama. Really, you didn't have to do this". 

("I wanted to. I want to help Gintoki-sama and his partner as much as possible, considering all that you have done for me in the past. This is the least I could do"). That girl had used that phrase many times before, and for her it never wore thin. She would always wish to help Gintoki out. ("The bed is changed, so I hope it'll be more comfortable. Let either myself or Otose-san know if you need anything"). 

"N-no, we're fine. Thanks again". Neither could sense her presence anymore. Only the very, very faint sounds of footsteps drawing further away could be heard aside from the constant sound of the showers rapidly running water hit the floor. That reminded Gintoki..."We should get in the bath before it gers cold. We've been under the shower too long". 

"Right. I'm getting cold again anyway, so, yeah, let's hop in and try not to pass out". 

That was the plan. A bath, a change of clothes, change of bed, change of ice pack, change of caregiver. And it was still early? It has always been thought, from Gintoki's perspective, that time only drags on when your unwell due to the pain and weight of physiological changes such as a stuffed up nose, migraines, sore throats and nausea; all things no healthy person would experience, especially all at once. Rest was the main thing, and some food if the sight of even rice or miso soup didn't make him want to vomit. 

... 

Luckily they were both able to eat, something. It wasn't much considering the aching and the turning in their stomachs, but they still made an effort to eat what Otose had prepared for breakfast. Then it was a case of taking medication before they could rest. Hijikata turned on his side once the plates were cleared, hugging his freshly-filled hot water bottle to ease his stomach. Tama went on ahead to clear the dishes while Otose stayed behind until they both fell asleep. That's what they needed, afterall. 

"So, you've both been cooped up in bed since yesterday?" 

"Pretty much...". Gintoki muttered, savouring both the warmth of his own hot water bottle across his stomach, and the ice cold pressure placed on his forehead. "Geez, isn't this medicine supposed to be helping? Damn rip-off". 

"Give it time to set in. Don't be impatient, damn brat". 

"Who the hell are you callin' a brat, Grandma? I'm twenty-eight years old, dammit...". And too weak to put any effort into his retorts. 

Hijikata hadn't spoken a single word since he lay down, and by the looks of things, as Gintoki's gaze shifted his way, it was rather clear that he had fallen asleep after filling his stomach and after taking those capsuales, his medication. Even Gintoki hoped that it would help Hijikata recover. 

"You seem to really care about him". Otose pointed out, although slightly taken aback by that longing expression of affection and care on Gintoki's face. Of course not in an over-bearing sense. However, the aura around him had changed considerably. He was watching over Hijikata, hoping for a fast recovery, more outwardly caring and concerned. Hijikata must've been really special for a guy like Gintoki to look like that, so openly as well; brushing strands of hair from Hijikata's face as he loomed over slightly, pulling up the coverlet for him; making him more comfortable out of concern and affection. 

"Of course I do. You think I'm letting him sleep in my bed just for the hell of it? He can barely walk without his knees nearly givng in, nevermind making it into his own bed, in his own apartment. Besides, I can't let him do everything himself. I wanna help in some way, otherwise he'll be making his condition worse". 

"I see. I'm sure he feels the exact same way about you, despite his condition". 

"Yeah. He made that pretty clear before". 

Gintoki was quite thankful that Otose was here, meaning he owed Kagura a hundred-thousand yen ice cream or a month's worth of sukonbu for calling her. He owed Otose and Tama just the same. Having them here meant Hijikata could take the time to rest, like now. Otose stood from the edge of the bed with intent to leave them both to it until later on, when some kind of lunch or dinner was in order. 

"I'll leave you two to get some sleep. I'm not doctor, but I'm sure the medication you took should have kicked in by the time you wake up". 

"Oi, Granny...". Otose waited before she walked, when hearing Gintoki call out to her before coughing softly into his mask. "Mind if I stick around with you? I can't really sleep like this, so I wanna occupy my thoughts before the medicine kicks in. It's a drag staring up at the ceiling". 

"Maybe you should put up with it for your own sake? How are you gonna occupy your time? I'll be doing your laundry and making your meals all day, as well as catching up on my own work-that includes reading over the chapter you've written so far". 

"Fine. But I wanna start sketching the illustration for the new book, since I have time and lack of energy to write. I know I can at least try to manage sketching". 

"Is that so?...Haah, fine, then. But wrap up warmly before you come down, and try not to wake him". 

"Yeah, I got it. Geez...". 

With a shake of her head, Otose exited the room and once again left Gintoki alone with Hijikata. Not for long. Although he would have wanted to cuddle up with Hijikata and sleep, he was too uncomfortable and restless to even lie down without the urge to toss and turn. He would only wake Hijikata up from his seemingly peaceful sleep. It made Gintoki almost envious, but glad. Hijikata needed this, moee than anything right now. 

... 

The sky outside, as seen from the main room's wide window, had darkened into an ominous grey but there was no sign of another storm. The ones focused on the sky with interest was Otose, standing in the door between the inside of the apartment and the balcony on the floor above the ground. She was smoking a cigarette while she had the chance, every now and then glancing down towards the main room to see Gintoki still sitting at the dining room table with a sketchpad in front of him. Now Otose knew nothing about his wide, leather-covered sketchpad. For his illustrations concerning the novels, the sketchpad he currently set before him was all she knew of, and all that mattered. But it was concerning to see him work,meven when sick, just to occupy his thoughts while his medication kicked his immune system with full force as a way to get it back into shape.

Wrapping himself up warmly, in a sweatshirt and scarf, Gintoki was able to focus on his sketch in his mind's eye rather than the chill that ran right through him. This would be the most work he could do until he was back on his feet, both mind and body prepared to finish that novel once and for all. She wasn't gonna lie: it was a good read so far, a very good read. But as a professional who had read many, many works over the years, especially with an author with a fixed writing style and technique, it wasn't hard to spot the little changes and tone. This had been on her mind...On Otose's mind. Crushing the end of her cigarette into the ashtray she maintsined in hand, Otose blew out one last swirl of smoke before shutting the balcony door. Heading back downstairs, she figured that now would be a good time to discuss the novel. He wasn't in any position to talk on for hours about work, but a small discussion, one that had been plaguing Otose's thoughts since she picked up the last seven chapters, couldn't hurt. Now that she was here, it was worth talking about. 

The ashtray was placed down onto the living room coffee table as Otose made her way to the kitchen and dining table, where Gintoki sat quietly. Tama was curiously looking over his current sketch, with permission. Not that he minded. Hundreds of people would see the illustration soon enough. 

"Gintoki-sama, you're sketches are immaculate...So well-drawn...". 

"It's nothin'. Just takes years of practice if you're not naturally talented. People think that the naturally-talented are at some godly level that no one else can reach, and they forget that it's possible to work your way to their level, maybe even higher". Gintoki cupped his hand over his mask on instinct when yet another minor coughing fit reached his throat. Kindly, Tama rubbed his back. 

"I can certainly see that, Gintoki-sama. Although I doubt I could ever surpass you". 

"Don't say that. No need to be so modest, Tama. You have your own skills, anyway, don't you?" 

"I suppose. Although I'm only just discovering that at work and college". 

"That's the point. Me, I never went to collge so I can't fully understand how you feel. I didn't have a clear path in front of me for years. After high school I worked a part-time job, then worked with some friends in a business. No ambition, no direction, no real future, y'know? I had hobbies, like writing and sketching but I never thought of making a career out of it. Now look where I am, busting my ass off for the old hag over there". 

"I bust my ass just as much for you and your deadlines, perm-head". Otose passed by into the kitchen, barely batting an eye at Gintoki for his snarky comment. "Without me, you wouldn't have gotten your books published-not with the money you had". 

True. Very true. Gintoki still had near to no money when he wrote books. Otose had them published free of charge on her part, and the things just sold like hot cakes, eventually. That's how they both made their money, how Gintoki received his first check within the first month of publishing his first book. 

"I paid you back, though, didn't I?" 

"Yeah, with rent money. Sit tight, I'm gonna make some tea to help you get some sleep later. Don't spend too long dawdling over that sketch. If you wanna get it finished, get it finished. And once you're back to full health, we'll call Katsura to go over colours with you". 

"Yeah, yeah. I got it". Right back to it. Gintoki slid the tip of his pencil across the paper once again, running it back and forth, making swerves and curves here and there, saving the shaing for last. Under his tight-fitting glove, his fingers had begun to ache. If he wasn't careful, they would surely swell. "Ack, screw this". 

Placing down his pencil, letting it roll over the sketchpad, Gintoki bit down on his glove from the very tip of one of the fingers and pulled. The gloved slid right off, his hand a little red and sweaty at the palm. He picked up his pencil once more and continued with his work. Not that it helped the tension coiling around the joints and muscles in his hand. Tama watched closely, albeit concerned about the current condition of his hand as he strived to finish this sketch. 

"Gintoki-sama, maybe you should take a break? We wouldn't want you to injure your hand'. 

"Sometimes you've gotta endure to succeed. Other times you endure to stop all the hot breath from covering your neck 'cause you've got over-due work to finish. Isn't that right, old hag?" 

"You're not wrong, kid. But you work with thst hand, so take it easy before I'm forced to send you to the emergency room, on account of your broken, dislocated fingers". 

Otose carried over three cups of steaming hot tea, and two oranges from the kitchen. Setting the tray itself down, all items were taken from it. 

"Thanks, Granny". Gintoki muttered, lowering his mask after finally dropping the pencil for a hot sip of tea. 

"Thank you very much, Otose-san". Tama was more formal and polite, of course, gratefully taking a sip of her own tea with joy, her eyes closed to savour it. 

"Gintoki, I made yours with more milk. Should help you get to sleep later on". 

He could definitely taste the warm milk, but the amount of sugar was abscent from his taste buds. As he swallowed, he smacked his lips a little to try and taste the sweetness of sugar. There was none. Huh? 

"Oi, Granny, is there any sugar in this?" 

"Only a little. Too much and you'll be restless to sleep". 

"Who're you, my mother?" 

"I think Otose-san would make a wonderful mother to you, Gintoki-sama". Tama smiled cheerfully after hearing her own statement. For a while, Otose was like a mother figure to Gintoki, but... 

"Really, Tama? Granny's more like a strict, old grandmother to me, the kind that refuses to coddle her grandkids, thinking they won't be able to grow a back-bone without disipline". 

"And you're like a little delinquent grandchild, the kind that would rather complain about his problems to his granny rather than his parents". 

They both held smirks over this conversation, hidden behind the rims of their mugs as they sipped their tea. Tama was taken aback by their attitudes, but yet another smile followed. They were like a small family of two, like they could star in a sitcom and create laughter by acting out themselves without pretending. It was both amusing and sweet at the same time. Without getting into their humourous and heated discussion, Tama tore up the skin of the oranges, laying them both out in order to share sliced between all three occupants of the table. Gintoki was the first to take a piece, slipping the whole things past his lips. Sweet sustinance... 

"Hey, Gintoki, mind if I look at the illustration you've drawn so far?" Otose held out her boney, wrinkled hand as if expecting him to hand over the sketchpad without question. He did, happily munching on orange slices without a care of the old hag looking over his work evdn before he had finished. She did that anyway; with his unfinished, unborn novels. "This is good, though I'm not at all surprised". 

"Means a lot, Granny...". Gintoki munched on more slices, believing this to be a substitute for lunch. Whatever it was going to be, there was no way for him to stomach it. Not that that had anything to do with Otose's cooking, but she had a habit of preparing filling meals--delicious, filling meals. 

"Do you know what colours you're going to have Katsura add?" Gintoki nodded. "Background...?" Another nod, another orange slice. "Shading...?" 

"Yes, Granny! Yes! I got it! I know what I'm doing-geez!" 

"Tone it down, kiddo. I'm only asking. Now drink up and go to bed already". 

"Will do".

The sketchpad was returned, and with that Gintoki drew on. He took each stroke of the pencil carefully and with a somewhat clear mind, only clouded by this icky, sticky illness commonly known as the flu. And he was stuck with it for a while, maybe a week at the very least. Work was going to be difficult to go through for that length of time but, for Gintoki, that wasn't such a bad thibg. By now Hijikata was tossing and turning at the thought of work, but the fact his cold excluded him out of the recent investigation gave him a break, kind of. If only he wasn't suffering through it. 

Come to think of it, he always had a great lack of energy after coming back to the apartment from work. At least recently he was at his worst. Maybe that was the most logical explanation as to why he got so sick so easily. Gintoki understood. Same thing happened to him a few times when he neglected his health due to work...before he started dating Hijikata, who practically dragged him to bed and set down wholesome meals on his desk, saving Gintoki's work in the middle of an unfinished paragraph before closing the laptop with force. That's how much he cared, even when reduced to use force even when making Gintoki stop and eat something before he starved. And it was at that thought that Gintoki paused in the middle of his sketch, tapping the tip of his pencil to the corner of the paper without thinking, as his mind was in a fog of wonder and concern for the occupant upstairs who, by now, Gintoki knew had a bad habit of neglecting his health just the same. Idiot...They both were...What a fine match they had become, huh? 

... 

... 

Lunch didn't go well with Hijikata's nausea. The vegetable and tofu soup Otose and Tama made at around one in the afternoon was appreciated, but left half-eaten by only Hijikata. Gintoki managed most of it, but couldn't stop thinking about Hijikata's struggle to eat something that wasn't that filling or big-as surprising as that was, for the old hag had prepared half of it. At least it was something. That's all he could say. In in attempt to offer some sort of comfort to Hijikata, Gintoki brought up an ordinary cup of tea with no sugar and a fair amount of milk. He was feeling better himself, but Hijikata...At this stage, he was still feeling nauseous. 

Upon entering the bedroom again, sniffling the drooling snot up his nostrils, Gintoki cleared his head and froze as the sight before him was quite unexpected. Not awful or terrifying to the core-Hijikata wasn't in such a terrible condition. Yes, he was pale yet flushed. Yes, he looked unwell and unkept for the past two days. But he was calm. He was calm as he curiously looked through the pages of Gintoki's personal sketchbook, where portraits of half-naked women and blooming flowers lay. He wasn't at all embarrassed by Hijikata's curiosity. After all, he gave him permission to look through it whenever he wished.

"Having fun over there?" Gintoki asked, shutting the door behind him as he walked farther into the room. Hijikata glanced up, Gintoki's presence unnoticed until he spoke. Then with a smile hidden behind his mask, Hijikata looked back down at Gintoki's work. "You seem to like my sketches a lot more than I do". 

"Well, they're pretty interesting. It's a little hard to believe that these women agreed to pose for you with very little shame". 

"Ouch...That hurts, y'know". 

"I don't mean anything by it...". Hijikata's voice was weak with every response, his hands trembling a little as Gintoki had noticed. He sat down on the bed, cup of tea in hand. 

"You want a drink? Or would you prefer water?" 

"N-no, tea's fine. I just feel...I don't feel that great right now. I feel quite sick, actually". 

"Worse than before?" Hijikata nodded, but still took the cup of tea. "Do you need help getting to the bathroom, just in case?" 

Hijikata hesitated, pulling down his mask to take a sip of tea. His hand shook for a moment, but he manged somehow. Gintoki called his name, without raising his voice. As if in a daze, Hijikata took another moment to answer as he sighed in relief, perhaps. 

"Um-ahem...It's fine. Sorry, this must be...causing quite a bit of hassle". 

"Hijikata, you really don't look good. C-c'mon, I'll lend you my shoulder so you can get all that crap outta your system. I can see you wanna throw up, so-...!" 

All of a sudden, Hijikata swerved his head away, covering his mouth. He was visibly trembling, sweat covering his face. Shit...As Gintoki was about to call his name and help him up, as soon as possible, Hijikata flung himself from the bed in a struggle under the coverlet and sheets. Gintoki's sketchbook fell to the floot as he dashed towards the bathroom, dropping his cup to the ground. For a moment, Gintoki watched it collapse from his hand and fall to the floor, tea bursting from the cup before splattering across the floor, the cup itself smashing into pieces against hardwood. Only a glance...His concern led elsewhere. 

"Hijikata...!" Gintoki followed him to the bathroom next door, just to make sure he was okay. But in his mind-in reality-it was clear Hijikata was far from okay. He had never appeared so weak and ill. What the fuck was going on with him? 

The door had been swung open by Hijikata, and then by Gintoki as he gave chase. And, once more, Gintoki found himself frozen at the door when seeing the position Hijikata was in. And it was...scary. Hijikata leaned over the bathroom sink, panting heavily, his legs quaking beneath him from the urge and the pain and the fear that overwhelmed him all at once. He was gripping onto the bowl of the sink so tightly, shaking and gagging over it. Even before he could let the bile out of his system, Hijikata was already in pain. This was the worst Gintoki had ever seen him...and it was almost terrifying. 

Of course, Gintoki walked towards him at a quick pace. He placed his hand on Hijikata's back, knowing all he could do was rub soft circles and tell him to let it all out, that he would feel better once it was all out. That's all he could do... 

"It's okay...Like I said, you can throw up and you'll feel better. Okay? Come on...Breath and-...". 

Gintoki forced himself to stop when Hijikata "let it out". His stomach had just given in, and brought it all up in a painful way. Hijikata wasn't dying of a disease, he wasn't terminally ill...He was suffering from a really had fucking cold yet why was it so painful to watch-...To watch him in pain? This kind of pain? Maybe because Gintoki had never saw him like this...Not like this. If he was drunk and not at all unwell, he could treat this as a funny, "serves you right" kind of situation, but it wasn't. This was serious. Really serious, and he couldn't figure out if this was the cold, or a side-effect of the medication or...something else. 

Hijikata retched and moaned in pain, and it sounded almost as if he was forcing himself just to relieve himself of the agony cripping his stomach. 

"It's alright, it's okay...There you go, that's it. Let it out. Don't hold back. I know how much this must be hurting you, but try to tough it out. There you go...There you go...". Gintoki's voice dissolved into soft mutters as Hijikata's stomach gradually emptied, and he got it all out of his system. It stunk and he was clearly still in pain, but it was out. 

Weak and shaken up, Hijikata's legs gave in and pulled him down onto the floor. Gintoki joined him at the same time, following him to make sure he didn't collapse and hit his head. And in that moment, Gintoki just held Hijikata in his arms, finally able to lend his shoulder. Hijikata leaned his head on that shoulder, panting heavily, sweating, his eyes closed before they watered any further. His arms fell limp, unable to wrap around Gintoki's waist or shoulders for a more comfortable hug. For now, Gintoki was doing all the work, and no arguments could be made. Hijikata did grasp Gintoki's arm for the minimal support as it was wrapped around his side and back, all while Gintoki's free hand pet his hair as he placed soft, chipped kisses on top of his head. 

"See? You did it. You toughed it out, Hijikata. Knew you could...I knew you'd be alright, Hijikata, hm? It's no big deal...Shhh...". 

Gintoki was trying his best to make light of the situation, hoping Hijikata would make some sort of retort back, despite how hard it was to see Hijikata in pain. And it was hard, but not in a way that would bring Gintoki to tears. Of course not. He just felt bad for him, wanting to give anything to take the pain away. Maybe there was a sollution, and all it really took was a phone call. Until then, Gintoki allowed Hijikata to calm down in his arms, catching his breath. 

... 

["Is that so?"]

"Yeah, it is. He's a mess with this illness, and I need to know how that blood test came out". 

Gintoki had brought the call to the local clinic, to Dr. Yamamoto, downstairs while Hijikata rested in the bedroom once again with a basin by the bed and a glass of water just above on the end table. He hated to leave him alone right now, but he went for the one and only phone ln the desk. 

["Funny you should call about that, too. We went over Hijikata-san's blood test this morning, among with many others, and..."]. Dr. Yamamoto paused, and Gintoki could imagine her finger twirling around the phone wire anxiously. However, duty called. She had to come out with the results. ["In the blood test we found...signs of anemia"]. 

"Anemia? You're fucking kidding...". 

["Look, there's no need to get so worked up. It's treatable, I promise"]. 

"Haah...You know doctors aren't supposed to make promises they can't keep?" 

["Yes, Gin-san, I'm aware. But this is definitely treatable, don't worry. And as I, and other doctors, saw from the results, it doesn't look like a long-term illness. So it's safe to assume that Hijikata-san was neglecting his intake of iron and protein; his health in general"]. 

"What about his nausea? He's vomited twice over the past two days. I was thinking it had to do with the flu or, maybe, his medication; maybe it's a side effect". 

["I don't doubt that. It isn't common for people to experience side effects of medication, except if they have a particular allegry. It's rare for someone to suffer things like nausea, dizziness, hallucinations, etcetera so we can never predict if someone were to, say, experience nausea and vomiting. If it is a side effect, take him off the medication immediatly. Don't give him any more, and if you absolutely have to then give him regular cold and flu medication"]. 

"Great. But he did throw up the first day he caught this cold. Any way to explain that, Doc'?" 

["That's another thing, y'see. We also found traces of alcohol in the blood. He was drinking the previous night, wasn't he?"] 

Gintoki sighed deeply as the realisation flowed into his brain like a wave. It made sense. He already showed hints of catching a cold, and the alcohol and sex made it worse as he had also, apparently, been neglecting his health. Idiot...Idiot, idiot, idiot. 

"So that's it then...". 

["I suppose so. But listen, we will have to treat this. We absolutely cannot leave Hijikata-san's condition untreated, or it definitely will get worse. Do you know how he's feeling right now?"] 

"He said he feels better after getting it out of his system, so I think he should be okay as long as I don't give him any of that shitty medication". 

["Yes, that's right. Umm...L-look, I'll see if I can make an appointment for him at the clinic tomorrow morning. Until then, make sure he eats properly. If, by any chance, his condition gets worse before I call back with an appointment time, bring him to the emergency room immediatly"]. 

"Yeah, I got it, thanks. I'll be taking care of him now, but you'd better get him the proper treatment tomorrow. Hijikata's a fighter, but he's stubborn too. Believe me, he'll be getting an earful so you don't have to". 

["Good idea. I'll call back later, when I organise his appointment"]. 

"Okay, then. Thanks a lot, Ayaka-san. We'll see you tomorrow". 

["I hope so. Take good care of him until then. See ya"]. Didn't need to tell him twice... 

Gintoki hung up the phone, sighing once again to compose his thoughts. Damn right Hijikata would receive an earful. And Gintoki was considered the worst for neglecting his health when work apparently came first. Otose listened to Gintoki's side of the conversation, alone as Tama had already left for college. She approuched a little further, then came close enough to pat Gintoki's back in comfort.

"Are you both gonna be okay? Anemia's a big thing". 

"What're you saying, Granny? Of course it'll be fine-we'll be fine-as long as Hijikata receives treatment. And you can be sure I won't let this happen again. Damn idiot neglecting his health over work...He's just as bad as me, dammit!" 

"Hah, I was gonna say so myself. I won't stop you from pouring all your concern out to him, but don't go too far. He's still in a bad condition, and I'm sure he hates being seen that way, especially by you". 

"Yeah, he said that himself. He's such a moron sometimes". 

"You're one to talk". 

"I know I am! It pisses me off how our worst habits and traits are so similar! That damn mayo-addict!" 

This was the most irritated and worried Gintoki had ever been. He was pretty pissed on top of all that. What an odd breath of fresh air from one of the most collected people Otose knew. He was, in a way. He expressed how he felt through rage rather than heart-break and tears. He was still Gintoki, but more open. Hijikata must have been really, really special if he caused this. 

"Instead of yelling here, giving me a headache, why don't you go upstairs and make his headache worse? Better yet, check on him, make sure he gets better, and then yell in his face about how idiotic he is. Go on. I'm sure he needs the company. When he feels better, tell me and I can make something to boost his energy". 

"...Sure, I'll go that. I'll check on him-but I won't forget to tell him off. I'm so pissed that he thought his job was more important than his immune system. I swear to god I won't let it happen again, to either of us". 

"Good luck with that". 

Otose took out a cigarette as Gintoki rambled on, makaing his way back upstairs in a fit of frustration towards Hijikata. She, however, got the sense that that anger would die down while they were both weak and unable to raise their voices to shouting level without hurting their throats and heads. If Gintoki really cared about this guy, he'd save his frustration for later, and remember it, and speak out whole-heartedly about his concerns. That boy...Honestly...Amazing what such a closely connected relationship could do to people. Otose knew that as much as anyone, to be fair. And she could clearly see the connection that Gintoki had tied himself to with that man, Hijikata. It was...nice. Brought back some nostalgia, although their relationship was on a whole new level from what Otose remembered during her marriage. It was odd and a little hysterical, but their relationship, she couldn't deny, was...special. 

... 

Gintoki had more or less stormed into the bedroom this time, but, inevitably, his demeanor calmed and he stopped himself from yelling and telling Hijikata what he really thought; that he was neglecting his health and that he needed a boot shoved up his ass. No such scolding occured. Hijikata had buried himself under the coverlet, lying down without a single word. Gintoki approuched gently, with a sigh escaping him through his sympathy-his rather bothersome sympathy. He kneeled down beside Hijikata, resting his hand on his back to pet soft circles for comfort. Hijikata was awake, but out of it from the aftershock. Must have been that bad; the vomiting and the pain he suffered through it. 

"How're you feeling?" 

"A little better...". Hijikata managed to answer, sniffling and coughing into his mask. "At least I don't feel nauseous anymore". 

"Good, I'm glad you don't". 

"What did the doctor say?" 

"Ahh, well...She got the results back from your blood test and...she told me that you're anemic. Not permanently-it's not a long-term thing. But she's gonna schedule an appointment to give you treatment". 

"Is that right? Oh man...". 

"It's your own fault, dumbass. If you had paid more attention to your health, you wouldn't have ended up like this. I should be scolding you for being so careless, but I'm not gonna do that-as much as I should". 

"Okay, thanks, Mom...Anyway, you're one to talk about-". 

"I know. But the difference is you looked out for me. Heh, if anything, you were more motherly than I could ever be". 

"Look...I, I know I was careless and stupid, and I can't keep using work as the excuse. We're supposed to be adults, for christ sakes, and we should be responsible for our own health. But...Doesn't hurt to help eachother out, does it? Send eachother on the right path...". 

"Yeah. So, from now on, I've...decided to make you a bento for work from now on". 

"Huh...?" 

"Oh, c'mon, you saw this coming. I'll make a lunch for you on the days before you head to work, just like I do for Kagura before she heads to school. And don't tell me that I don't have to, because I really do this time. It's not that I'm looking after you like a child, I'm just helping out by making sure you're not stuck eating curry bread or a bean bun at lunch. I only used to make a lunch for you sometimes, but we'll figute out a system so I can do it every day you head to work, alright?' 

"Gintoki...". 

"And it won't just be you. If I try to pull an all-nighter, it couldn't hurt to have you drag me off to bed. We'll get into a system until we can manage these things ourselves, okay? It'll be much better this way".

"I suppose so". 

"You've helped me out more than once, been there for me, now I should definitely do the same. No arguments". 

Hijikata didn't argue, at all. In such a calm, rejuvenating condition, he was accepting of this idea despite the trouble Gintoki was going to go through now. With his hand still rubbing Hijikata's back, his other was lifted from the floor to grasp Hijikata's as it lay vulnerable by his head. His hand was warm, a patch of sweat clinging to his palm. He had his own grasp on Gintoki's hand when their fingers locked; one on top of the other. And, although hidden away, they shared a smile. 

"Do you feel well enough to eat something? 'Cause Granny's gonna prepare dinner before she leaves today". 

"I see. Well, since my stomach's completely empty, I'm sure I can eat something or other". 

"Good to hear. You won't have to take those prescription pills anymore, either. Sorry, but you'll have to put up with ordinary cold and flu medicine. Sucks for you". 

"You're taking it too". 

"Yeah, but now I get to drag ya down with me. I swear, the assholes that make that stuff know nothing about flavour. Us adults want strawberry flavoured cold medicine too, not that other crap that tastes like the inside of someone's ear". 

How does he know what that tastes like? Was he making a guess out of disgust towards the over-the-counter cold medicine? It was a really vulgar guess. Putting that image aside, it was a relief to receive medicine that would put an end to these crippling periods of nausea and vomiting. From what Gintoki said, he could only assume it was the prescription's fault; the nausea being a side effect. 

"I guess I'll let you rest, or do you want me to stick around?" 

"First of all, I'm gonns use the bathroom. Haven't gone since this morning. Then I...I honestly wouldn't mind having you stay with me, just for a little while. You're sick, too, anyway. Pretty sure you need the rest just as much. I'll drag you if I have to".

"Those threats don't work while you're like this, y'know". 

"Wanna bet?" That little retort provoked a little and light chuckle from Gintoki. Still a fighter, still so stubborn. What differences lay between these two at this stage? 

Time to shed that whole "I'm no caregiver" defense mechanism and...Gintoki could just care for Hijikata; stick his neck out for him just as Hijikata had done many times over. Even the smallest gestures mattered right now. Hopefully from here on, his condition would get much better. Hopefully the good doctor would call by the evening, bearing good news: an appointment set for the following morning. From there, Hijikata's condition had to improve. It absolutely had to, otherwise-like his condition-Gintoki's worries would only worsen. 

... 

Gone past three o'clock in the afternoon, Kagura brought Shinpachi back to the apartment for his aid for the two invalids upstairs, as she had worded it. When entering the apartment together, Kagura was the first to look to the kitchen and spot Otose in front of the stove. An almost heavenly smell drifting towards them; dinner. It was unusual to see anyone other than Gintoki or Hijikata working away in the kitchen, but as of now Kagura was eager to eat whatever was served. In fact, she always was. 

"Granny...!" Kagura kicked off her shoes, dashing towards the kitchen while leaving Shinpachi behind. 

Like a dog waiting for its owner to pour the next serving into its bowl, Kagura leaned over the kitchen counter, beside Otose, wkth her eyes buldging and her mouth watering. 

"Be careful around the stove, you glutton. Wanna get burned?" 

"Kagura-chan, maybe you should be a little more polite.Otose-san, it's good to see you again". Shinpachi approuched, making an example out of Kagura's behaviour, over-shadowing hers with his own. 

"Shinpachi, aren't you working today?" Right...She was his boss. 

"Uh, no, not today. That's what gave Kagura-chan an excuse to drag me along. How's Gin-san and Hijikata-san? Are they feeling any better?" 

"Gintoki's doing fine. He's getting a little better, but Hijikata-san isn't doing all that well. Apparently he's been neglecting his health and his diet. After taking a blood test, the doctor's diagnosed him with anemia". 

"Anemia...?!" It was a bit shock for the kids, their expressions and previous behaviour immediatly switching. At their ages, they were aware of how serious anemia could be. 

"Pipe down. He'll be getting treatment for it-hopefully by tomorrow. Gintoki said himself that that guy was a fighter, and I believe him. He'll be fine". 

"For Hijikata-san to be anemic...That can be dangerous if it goes on for too long, untreated. But...As Otose-san said, he'll be fine, right, Kagura-chan?" 

"Of course he will. The Mayora is tough, aru. He'll be better in no time flat, aru". Kagura was quite confident. She wasn't allowing her concerns to overwhelm her, and that was admirable. "Besides, he's got Gin-chan with him. He'll take good care of him". 

"Aw, you kids shoulda seen it for yourselves. Gintoki was watching over that man, making sure he was comfortable and rested. I've never witnessed that before-not from Gintoki". 

"He may not look like it, but...". Kagura crossed her arms, smiling at the thought of a caregiving Gin-chan. How sweet it was. "Gin-chan's very caring. And he may not act like it, but even he gets worried. When it comes to our problems, or those closest to him, he'll try anything to help. That's who he is, even if he isn't very open about it". 

"Kagura-chan's right. Gin-san is very caring and considerate, but he's mostly cool and collected. I think if any of us were in any real danger...I think that's when he'd drop that demeanor and take the bullet for us, or so to speak. That's just the kind of man he is". 

These kids...They could be a nuisance in their own little ways, but never spoiled or bratty. They were good kids who looked up to Gintoki like a big brother. Even now, he kept some interesting, but good, company. 

"I see. Well, I think it's time you took care of him. He's neglecting rest, although he's gradually getting better. Mind helping me cook?" 

"Yes...!" Kagura was as eager as you would expect, but mainly for the taste test at the end. 

"Of course we'll help. Just tell us what we need to do". 

Great. Some assistance. Not only that but the two men upstairs would have more lively company. That's how Otose saw it, anyway. Always lively, wherever those three went. Although, in a way, she could include a fourth person, that being Hijikata. Yeah...It fit, somehow. He was added to the picture at some point. Not that that was a bad thing. For Gintoki, it had proved to be more positive than anyone could imagine. It was still baffling to the old woman, as well as his recent attitude...and, strangely enough, his upcoming novel. 

... 

"So...How come you're all crowding around my bedroom to eat?"

The duo upstairs were woken up from their cuddle to servings of tonkatsu and orange juice. And, of their own will, they sat around on the bed with their own plates and ignored the disease shared between Gintoki and Hijikata at this time. Not that they didn't appreciate their efforts, but this was a concern that they-most likely Otose-would fall ill too. 

"We thought we'd give you some company. You should be grateful, aru". Kagura munched on a pork cutlet, filling her cheeks as if she was done speaking and wished for no more distractions to come inbetween her and her meal. 

"It was Kagura-chan's idea". Shinpachi smiled sheepishly, holding strips of cabbage and a cluster of rice between his chopsticks. "But there's no need to worry about us. The author doesn't intend to have us get sick". 

"Oi, what's with that? What did we ever do, hahh? What ever happened to realism? Realism dammit!" 

"Gintoki, don't get so worked up...". Hijikata muttered rather weakly, coughing the strain away into his mask. "Anyway, we appreciate all you've done, Otose-san. You've been a big help, although I feel bad that you have to take care of us". 

"Nonsense. When Kagura called, I couldn't just ignore it. Although Gintoki called in sick, I didn't think things would be so bad that she had to call me for help. But here I am. I've had some experience with taking care of the sick, so this wasn't a big deal". 

"That's Granny for ya". Gintoki pulled down his mask a little, taking a bite from his own pork cutlet, and in his mind he registered how surprisingly soft and flavoursome it was. He didn't go as far as to descdibe it that way, but..."This is pretty good, by the way. Again: wouldn't expect anything less". 

"Good...". 

"Hey, if you guys are up to it, wanna play a game of UNO? It'll be fun, aru". Kagura tugged on Gintoki's short sleeve, eagerly wanting him to say yes. It was a way to kill time for all of them, so a round couldn't hurt. 

"I dunno. Maybe...You up for it, Hijikata?" 

"We'll see how we feel afterwards, alright, China Girl?" 

"Haah...Fine. Try to feel better so we can play a game, aru". What a nice thing to say, but at the same time it definitely showed her boredom and need to kill time. "But, seriously, feel better. It's no fun if you guys aren't around, acting like yourselves". What was "acting like themselves" exactly? 

At the last statement Kagura made, it was hard not to smile. What made things better for her was that Hijikata felt no nausea from eating. Sure, the cutlet of pork was filling, but he didn't feel nauseous at all. Of course his nose was runny and his fever was a little high, but there was no pain or turning around his stomach that would provoke him to throw uo this well-made meal. He had confidence that, as long as he avoided that useless prescription, he could last the rest of the night without suffering its effects. And that was a relief. That was one obstacle out of the way. Gintoki held onto his own confidence; seeing Hijikata smile like that made him want to think that his share of the flu wasn't going to get any worse after his treatment for anemia. Then he wouldn't have to get so worked-up and worried. Yes...That's how the cool and collected Gin-san felt right now. But, as Shinpachi and Kagura had said, he never presented these feelings openly. This may have been the first time, in front of others aside from Hijikata, that Gintoki had unconsciously shown his more caring nature. 

... 

At some point, during the third round of UNO, Kagura had drifted off on the end side of the bed, dropping her cards. At that, everyone agreed to leave this at two rounds with a very competive Gintoki as the first victor, and the less competitive Otose take over the second round. Shinpachi was nuetral in this and Hijikata was too tired to bring out his competitive side, especially when Gintoki wasn't acting out towards him directly. And with the third round taking an early end, Hijikata relaxed and also fell into slumber, quietly. In addition, during the second round, Gintoki finally received that phone call for Hijikata's appointment. The earliest she could book an appointment for treatment was three in the afternoon, and thst he would have to try and eat more meat during the day before the appiuntment. Or just a balanced meal. 

As Shinpachi took on the task of packing up the scattered cards, to be taken back to the main room for storage, Gintoki and Otose had a private moment. As the room settled into a state of silence, Gintoki subtly petted Hijikata's hair as he slept, only to come across yet another fever that coated his brow with sweat. It wasn't as bad as this morning, but a fever of any calibre must be extinguished. Maybe another damp cloth would do the trick. 

"Gintoki...". Due to his current concerns, Gintoki almost blocked out the sound of Otose's voice. But he did, in the end, hear her call out to him quietly. "I know this isn't the right time, per se, but I'd like to discuss what I saw in the next chapter of the book". 

"Okay? Sure, fire away. What about the recent chapter?" 

"Well...To be honest, it's about a big chunk of the book. More precisely, the most recent chapters". 

"Well, what about 'em? Is there something that doesn't fit well with the story, or is there a whole buncha plot holes? 'Cause you can't make swiss cheese without a few holes in it, Grandma". 

"It isn't anything like that. The tone of this novel, and the technique...It's changed". Gintoki could have questioned exactly what she meant out loud, but did no such thing as he quietly allowed her to continue. It was a curious thing, though. He tried to think back, how he created tone and structure of every paragraph but instead drew a blank. "I don't mean it in a bad way, but I don't mean it in a good way either. What you've done is different, I'll say that?' 

"Mind going into further details, Granny?" 

"Of course. I'm not telling you to improve, I'm just pointing out what I saw in your work and you can figure out where to go from there. In short, the tone's a lot more light-hearted than your previous novels. In the beginning, it started off as any of your other novels have with a fairly serious tone. From there, you've depicted a lot of light moments between settings and characters while keeping the setting and situations realistic and emotinal at times". 

"Is that so? My tone is "lighter", you say? You tryin' to tell me something, Granny?" 

"Not really. It just had me thinking...Before, your novels were serious and emotional, and some had a sad ending or two. But this book...Where exactly are you planning to take it? It had been on my mind for a while, and I couldn't help but think that your relationship with Hijikata-san had something to do with it, if you don't mind me being blunt". 

His relationship with Hijikata had changed the very tone of Gintoki's new novel...More accurately, his feelings and emotions in the real world had changed the feelings and emotions of setting and character of his new novel, because of his relationship with Hijikata. Was that explanation any more clear? It was true he had felt a much lighter side of his heart, his thoughts and his attitude, but for that to change the very coarse of a serious fantasy novel...It wasn't impossible, just strange. Had Hijikata been that big of an influence on his so-called "lighter side"? He couldn't doubt it.

"I don't really know what to say to that...". 

"Well, I'm saying it's not a bad thing. But it'll be interesting to see how readers react. Trust me, they'll notice. If it is just as big a success as all your other novels, do you think you'll keep it up?" 

"How should I know? I'm not writing a happier tone consciously. If something comes to mind and it fits with the book, I'll write it-and not just because I have to in order to meet deadlines. It's because I wanna write it". 

"...". 

"...Granny, do you really think Hijikata's my influence for a happier story?" 

"I can't really say, it's just a theory of mine. But, y'know...Hah, you'd ought to be careful. One day you might end up falling for your little ray of sunshine. Believe me, I've been there". 

Gintoki's hand paused, laced with Hijikata's dark, sweat-soaked bangs, the heat of his fever radiating against his palm. He thought he'd laugh, or at least scoff, at the old woman's comment, but he didn't. She was being serious, although smirking. He chose to humour her, as he normally would. 

"Obviously you don't know me as well as you think you do, old hag. I don't really get that stuff, to be honest. But you sure sound like you do". 

For her husband...Gintoki could never picture Otose as a starry-eyed damsel in love. He couldn't picture himself, or Hijikata, in the same way. But, realistically speaking, it didn't have to be all starry-eyed, fluttering around like a swarm of butterflies. Gintoki couldn't imagine what it felt like to...feel a certain way about someone, romantically. He hadn't thought about it, especially being in a more content relationship where both partners were somewhat happy. So what was there to be careful of? That's what he would like to think. 

"I see....Listen, I should get going. I have some work to do, so I'm sure you'll be able to handle yourselves for the rest of the evening?" 

"Yeah, of course. We'll be fine". 

"Good. And we'll also discuss the book further another time, when you're up to it". 

"Sure, Granny...Ah, here, I'll see you out. I've gotta get a damp cloth for Hijikata, anyway".

They both stood. The discussion was brushed off, just like that. In a way, it left them unsettled, but not in an awkward way. The discussion ended with Gintoki humouring Otose before things got awkward, and they stepped into a subject which Gintoki didn't want to talk about. They exited the room, and headed downstairs where Shinpachi stood at the entrance, putting his shoes on. He was heading home himself, it seemed. 

"Ah, are you leaving now, Otose-san?" Before he left, Shinpachi paused and asked this question when spotting both Otose and Gintoki head straight for the entrance. She replied with a simple "yes". "I could walk you part-way. It is getting dark pretty quickly". 

"That's nice of you, Shinpachi. Thanks, kiddo. And, Gintoki...You sure you two can manage?" 

"It's fine, honestly. Just head on to the office and make sure to call a cab home. Have a safe trip, you two". 

"Thanks, Gin-san. See ya later". 

"Tell Hijikata-san to get well soon for me, will ya?" 

They made their exit, and the room fell silent once more. Yes, he did feel slight discomfort from what Otose said, but something like that...He wasn't sure, but perhaps something like this was coming? He felt relief, though. He felt this relief that the discussion didn't go any deeper than it needed to. And from that point onward, Gintoki was his composed self. Yet...His thoughts circled. 

Influence...Happy story....Influence...His relationship with Hijikata...He cared about Hijikata...What Granny said-what he stopped Granny from saying... 

And then...it stopped. He took a breath and calmed down. He coughed, remembering he was still sick. Although his fever had went down, Hijikata's had not...Hijikata...That was all he wanted to concentrate on. It was true that Gintoki had recently felt much closer to Hijikata, in a way he could never have imagined, and he cared about him but...He cared about Hijikata. To "fall for him"...He didn't think about it. He let the thought slip away calmly as he grabbed and wrung out a clean cloth under the kitchen sink. And so he took another breath, and proceeded to walk back to the bedroom. 

... 

Kagura had already left. So she woke up and headed to her own room, huh? That was for the best. She couldn't sleep in the same room with two sick people, now could she? Gintoki sat by Hijikata's side once more, brushing the soaking wet cloth over Hijikata's forehead and brow to help ease the heat of his fever, even just a little. As he did so, as gently as he could, Hijikata opened his eyes and blinked a couple times just to clear his vision. 

"Mng...Gintoki?" 

"Hey...". When looking at Hijikata's face, being right beside him...There was this feeling of comfort and peace in Gintoki's mind. "Your fever went up a little. Guess you had a little too much excitement during the game". 

"Maybe. I'm worn out". 

"I bet you are. I'm just gonna clean up here, then you can head back to sleep". 

"You'll come to bed immediatly after, right?" 

"Of course...Just relax. Be a good boy and sleep. If you're feeling better, we can have a bath tomorrow". 

"Uh-huh...". Hijikata was already drifting. Perhaps having Gintoki by his side left this sense of peace in his mind as well. 

He shut his eyes again, letting a long sigh escape. Gintoki finished cleaning the sweat beads from his face before dumping the cloth in the basin below the bed. Hijikata didn't seem to need it right now, or even tomorrow. He might have been able to improve in condition by then, by his appointment. Gintoki also settled in for the night, despite only being six in the evening. Laying down with Hijikata, cuddling with Hijikata, holding his hand, Gintoki felt comfortable enough to drift off and join Hijikata in dreamland no matter how hazy it was due to these damn colds. He closed his eyes, listening to Hijikata's soft breathing for a while. He didn't mind, as he was used to the soft, settling sounds by now near his ear. And despite how stuffed up his nose was or how hot his forehead felt, he was at peace. Sleep wasn't too far away...Good. 

... 

... 

The strain in his limbs had disappeared, but there remained a slight fever and the cold itself stuffing up his nose and provoking a brief coughing fit upon waking. But what woke Gintoki up so suddenly...It was almost like a shaking in the earth, or perhaps it was just the floor. But then, as he lay awake, the morning sun pouring through the wihdows, he wondered why the floor shook. Was there a thud; a noise to wake him? Then he could remember the shattering like...glass. 

The ceiling was what he saw first, and then came the realisation that he wqs the only one staring at the ceiling. The space beside him felt empty, and as Gintoki turned his head to look he found that the space was, in fact empty. Hijikata... Then, in the cold silence of the room, past the empty, creased space of the bed in which Hijikata slept...Gintoki saw, just under the set of drawers, something-...No, what he saw turned his blood cold and his senses on high alert. Hijikata was...He was lying on the floor over a puddle of water and broken glass and...under his wrist lay a very small spill of blood...from the broken glass... 

"Hiji-....Oh, fuck! Hijikata!" Gintoki immediatly got up and struggled out of bed to kneel by his side. The end table shook as he stomped off the bed and purposely fell to the floor on his knees. He crawled by Hijikata's side, lifting him off the floor with all strength. "Hijikata! Shit...!" 

From the broken glass and the water...A morning drink, of course. He collapsed, broke the glass, cut his wrist and hand on accident. They weren't fatal gashes, just a few small cuts that leaked blood. From the end table, he grabbed the tissue box and pulled out several, ignoring the box as it fell to the ground. With the bundle of tissues, he put pressure on the wound and tried to lightly shake Hijikata out of his unconscious state. He was so pale, breathing heavily. His body, his skin, felt so hot and sweaty in Gintoki's arms. He cursed again. 

"Kagura! Kaguraaa!" From calling her name, provoking more coughing, Gintoki was relieved to hear her footsteps rush for the bedroom, and he door burst open. 

"Gin-chan, what-...!" Kagura froze, shocked by the scene before her. 

"Hurry, call an ambulance. Tell them that he's collapsed and he needs immediate attention. Go". Gintoki was trying to be calm, but firm. Kagura just nodded with a determined look before rushing to grab her cell phone. 

The blood dripping from Hijikata's wrists was quite light, soaking througu odd spots of the bundle of tissues. He wasn't bleeding a lot, and it didn't look like he would bleed out from just a few odd, accidental cuts that failed to dig too deeply into his skin and veins. The only real problem here was the fact that he collapsed out of the blue, paoe as a fucking sheet. Just in case, Gintoki held Hijikata's bleeding wrist up, along with holding the pressure together, to help stop the bleeding. Theymay have only been small cuts, but Hijikata was still anemic, wasn't he? Fuck, this was dangerous. So, so dangerous...As if still maintaining a little consciousness, Hijikata tilted his head towards Gintoki and rested on his side and stomach. His breath was hot and quick and desperate. And Gintoki knew that there wasn't much he could do until the ambulance arrived. 

"You're gonna be okay. Just sit tight...Sit tight...". All he could do was say the same words of comfort, and wait for Hijikata to be relieved of his pain. 

... 

... 

The waiting room in which Gintoki was told to sit in was small and it stunk of...hospitals. The floor was tiled and the walls were an almost blinding whte. The smell of ammonia, disinfectant and soap hung in the air like a thick, non-deadly gas. This was the waiting room to ER, or the emergency room. The only other people waiting here this early in the morning was a middle aged woman and a child, a little girl. He could only assume, from first glance, that they were mother and daughter. The mother sat back in her chair, asleep. The little girl looked tired, but played with the odd assortment toys in the corner despite this. He paud little mind or attention to them, as he was currently focusing on his own business, and his own concern. This went both ways too. If something happened to one of their family members, it wasn't any of his business to pry, especially around a little girl who was probably still learning basic kanji at school.

The girl, like any other small child, was curious. Knowing there was someone else in the room, she couldn't help but glance over and tilt her head as her mind boggled and she questioned his presence. Gintoki didn't notice this girl stand up and discreetly look through her supposed mother's handbag before she found what she was looking for. And with a mibd so innocent and unaware, taking every curious step, she thought it would be a nice idea to approuch Gintoki, a stranger, and give him something she pulled out of the woman's bag without her knowledge or permission. 

Gintoki, with his mind clouded and wordly, unlike this little girl, it took a moment before he noticed her presence. She stood right beside him, looking up, offering something bright and orange without a word. An...orange. He hesitated to speak, unsure of what to say or how to accept something from a kid he'd never met before. 

"Uh...Kid, what're you doing?" 

"Do you want this orange?" She finally spoke, absent-mindedly answering a question with a question. "We brought plenty for when we can see my big brother, so...Maybe you can take this to the person you're visiting?" 

"Haah, look, kiddo, I appreciate it, but didn't your mother over there ever teach you not to talk to strangers? Seriously, I'll get in more trouble than you will". 

"Huh? Oh, Yoshie isn't my Mom...She's my Daddy's girlfriend. My real Mom moved away to Yokahama with my big sister". 

"Oh...Sorry 'bout that". 

"Why? Yoshie's really nice to me. She gives me candy when Daddy isn't looking". What an innocent little brat. She probably wouldn't stay that way for too long. "Here. Yoshie isn't looking, so you can have this. I don't mind". 

Absent-minded and naïve, but a good kid nonetheless. He accepted the orange with a thank you, his hands gloved, preventing this little girl from catching a cold, he hoped. With a smile, she returned to "Yoshie's" side to continue playing quietly in the corner with dolls that have messy hair and ragged dresses, as well as action figures dismembered by kids that don't understand the rule about taking care of other people's stuff. He tossed the orange up and down, catching it everytime as he continued to wait in silence. But he didn't have to wait much longer. 

The waiting room door opened, and in came a doctor. Not doctor Yamamoto, but a male doctor who's name slipped Gintoki's mind. He didn't stand until he was sure this doctor had arrived to see him and give him the news. 

"Sakata-san...?" 

"Yeah? How is he? Is he doing okay?" Gintoki was calm yet again, but prepared himself for the worst deep down. The nameless doctor gave a reassuring smile. 

"The good news is that Hijikata-san is doing just fine". What a relief..."He's being treated with iron therapy through an IV drip at the moment, but you're definitely welcome to pay a visit". 

"Well that's a relief...Do you know why he collapsed, exactly?" 

"Well, we think that the lack of blood cells caused his system to shut down and he just collapsed. But, right now we're currently assessing the best course of action in order to improve his health and to prevent something like this from happening again. It's very likely he'll be prescribed vitimins for a while, and we'll have to have him receive check-ups every once in a while, just in case". 

"Thanks Doc'. Can I see the idiot now?" He said idiot, and he could blame Hijikata for not looking after himself...but he couldn't be total serious when saying that, knowing ehat happened to him moments ago. 

"Uh, yes. If you'll follow one of our nurses to his room, you can stick around and keep him company until we've finished treating him. He might be here for a couple of hours until we can be sure that he's well enough to go home, though". 

"Ahh, that's fine. Just...lead the way". 

Good to know he was okay, and that this didn't turn into something more serious and life-threatening. Still, when he collapsed like that, there was no way Gintoki couldn't fear that. If he was really in danfer of a long-term illness, or worse...He didn't want to think about it that way, and was just grateful he was healing. All it took was a journey up one floor and a walk across a long hallway full of private rooms before a very kind nurse brought Gintoki to the right room. It was unnerving, in a sense. Although Hijikata wasn't exactly in a critical condition, he was still going to he hooked up to something, trying to catch his breath and the red in his cheeks. And Gintoki didn't know what to say, but...He fully intended to treat Hijikata as he normally would. As he normally would now, not back then, of course. 

... 

Gintoki paid thank to the nurse before she bowed and went off to coninue her normal duties in the wards and other rooms. He entered the private room, alone, and could, first of all, see how dull it was inside. But the only thing-the only person-he could pay any attention to was Hijikata. He lay in the hospital bed, looking a lot more lively thsn he did this morning; in skin rather than body language. He stared at the window, trying to look beyond the tiny gaps of the shutters to see the scenery. Being hooked to a tube and needle, he couldn't exactly get up to ast away these bothersome, dark shutters. 

Closing the door, earning Hijikata's attention, Gintoki walked on to open the shutters for him. It was going to bother him too, anyway. Hijikata smiled when seeing Gintoki, especially when he was giving a small but kind gesture to Hijikata. The morning sun poured through, but was still quite dim and not at all blinding. The sky was rather pretty this time in the morning. 

"There. Better?" Gintoki asked, coming towards the bed to take a seat on the chair positioned next to it. 

"Much better. Thanks...". 

Guess they weren't going to talk about his condition right away...In this light, being this close, Gintoki got a good look at Hijikata. Yes, his hand was pierced by a tiny needle, covered by a big band-aid, connected to a long, transparent tube, and the IV pack hung from above to give his veins and blood the dosage he needed. As disturbing as it was, it was saving Hijikata's health from hitting rock bottom. Though, it could never cure a chain smoker and mayo addiction. In his left hand, on the far side from where Gintoki sat, Hijikata's wrist was bandaged up from his earlier cuts. He couldn't seem to move it. 

"So...I know this is a mandatory question but...How're you feeling?" 

"I feel a little better. Doesn't feel like my whole body's running cold". 

"Do you...wanna talk about what happened today? You passed out pretty quickly, but do you actually remember any of it?" Hijikata thought back, but shook his head only seconds after Gintoki asked. 

"Not a thing. I remember getting a glass of water, walking upstairs and then I blacked-out. For a moment it was warm, but numb at the same time and...I woke up here with a fucking tube in my hand and a throbbing headache. They gave me a painkiller for my arm and my head, so I guess being here isn't so bad anymore". 

Hijikata almost treated this like it was nothing. He wasn't scared at all, which wasn't shocking considering it was him. He didn't want to be afraid of this, of being anemic, of a potential life-threatening disease. A fighter to the end. How commendable, but kinda stupid at the same time. Gintoki was worried himself, hoping this guy would be healthy enough to take a long lecture from doctors about his diet and supplements, and to take a slap to the jaw later from Gintoki and a "don't say I don't watch my health when you're just as bad". Instead... 

"Good to see you're still kicking. You had me worried there". 

"Did I really?" 

"Of course, dumbass. You collapsed so suddenly, as pale as a ghost, bleeding from your wrist 'cause you broke another glass by accident". 

"Jesus...I'm sorry, Gintoki. I didn't mean for you to-". 

"Look, don't apologise. I get it, but it is your fault for not being more careful. I said I was gonna help out, and I will. I'll help ya get back to perfect health, perfect enough for a government servant". 

"...". Hijikata went quiet, still smiling gratefully at Gintoki. "Y'know...You should know that this isn't like what happened to my Mom, Gintoki". It was unexpected that Hijikata would bring it up. Gintoki had thought Hijikata didn't know he was eavesdropping on him and the good doctor during her visit two days ago. Well, shit. He was still pretty sharp. 

"I didn't mean to hear that, y'know". 

"I'm sure you didn't. But you did hear it, and I have to tell younright now that this isn't like that. I've been disregarding my diet and my health, that's all it is. I didn't want you to worry this much". 

"Hijikata, you collapsed in the middle of the room. How the hell could I go on without worrying?" 

"...". 

"I'm glad you're okay now, so...We can...Let's just drop it". 

An awakward silence. Of course. Of course that was needed into the mix. But, obviously, the lack of communication after such events was almost unbearable. They had to say something and break away from the stupidity of being awkward and irritated at eachother. 

"Haah...Hey, Hijikata?" 

"Hm...?" 

"Will it hurt if I hold your hand?" 

Hijikata was speechless, to say the least. But not out of shock. It was bafflement. Seeing Gintoki get so flustered before, and then flush at this little, indirect apology...It was baffling, but worthy of a small smile of acceptance. 

"I think so, but you can hold my fingertips. That won't hurt at all". 

Gintoki hesistantly reached out for Hijikata's hand. There was a needle inside, so it would hurt if he squeezed the whole thing. So, as Hijikata suggested, he wrapped his hand around Hijikata's fingertips. They were warm, but the softness of his skin could not be felt through Gintoki's gloves. But to be kind, Gintoki caressed his thumb over the skin gently. He could only imagine how painful this was; the needle, that is. 

"Want me to stick around?" Hijikata nodded weakly. 

"Yeah. I would like that...Stay, just until I'm pardoned and then we could head back to the apartment". 

"Sounds...good...". 

... 

Gintoki gave a quick phone call to Kagura while in hospital, to reassure her Hijikata was okay. She sounded pleased and reminded Gintoki to take good care of him. It didn't take too long for Hijikata's treatment to be over. Just two little hours. Hoo, boy...

They didn't touch up on the subject of the anemia or Gintoki's concerns. But it was hard to get out of their heads. At around two in the afternoon, they called a cab home and from there they could rest. Hijikata was feeling much better after the treatment and a crappy but nutritious hosptial meal, which he kindly shared with Gintoki, along with his pudding. They were content once again, and the subject didn't form into words again. But when seated on the sofa for ease and relaxation after the journey, Hijikata could only feel unease and the urge to speak. 

"Hey, a little girl in the waiting room gave me an orange for you". Gintoki said, taking out said orange from his coat pocket. He swiped his glove over the orange's skin, although it was going to be peeled anyway. "I took half your pudding, so it's the least we can do, huh?" 

Gintoki began to peel the fruit. He didn't pry about the illness of Hijikata's mother, and Hijikata also felt no need to go into full detail. He didn't want the topic of Gintoki's worrying and this anemia business up in the air forever. As Gintoki tore at the orange's skin, revealing bright orange slices, Hijikata reached out and grasped his wrist to also effectively grasp his attention. It worked. Now all that's left was to comd out and speak his mind. This situation had been done several times in their relationship, and to bottle things up would only leave a gap between them. Plus, these looping thoughts were annoying as hell. 

"You know that...I'm grateful to have someone get so worked up for my sake. I'm grateful you were there to get so worried for me, but...I don't want to make you worry like that again. It's hard for humans to make promises that they probably can't keep, but I want to promise you that I'll do better next time and that I won't fuck my health up. I also want to promise that...I won't go through the same horrible shit that my mother did. Because I know what it's like to want to give anything to help that person, and to worry endlessly because you heard or read that these things could be life-threatening...But I wanna make it perfectly clear that I won't go down that road. So, for once in my life, I'll accept any help you give without saying a word. Okay? Does that put your mind at ease?" 

Hijikata remained serious, in his usual demeanor. When speaking of his mother, he didn't falter or tremble under the title he gave her for years. He held his head high when saying he would accept any help from Gintoki. Gintoki smiled, reaching over to caress Hijikata's cheek.

"So you'll let me go to the trouble of making you cute, little lunches everyday before you go to work?" 

"Yeah...". 

"You'll let me pull my weight when I want to, if it means helping you?" 

"Yeah-but don't neglect your own health. Especially now that you're sick too". 

"I know. I won't. I'll be careful. But...Hypothetically speaking, if you were in need of, oh let's say...a kidney, would you let me give you mine if I could without arguing?" 

"...! Okay, that one's a bit much. I don't need-". 

"I know you don't need a new kidney. I'm speaking hypothetically, remember? But, if I had to, in a situation like that, you know I'd do anything for you, right? I'd give anything if it meant you were in perfect health". These words... 

"I'd...do the same for you, honestly". 

When uttering those words, Hijikata's voice trembled a little. He was anxious to say them, but was sincere and honest. Saying they would give anything for eachother...It felt so surreal, like...They were that serious about eachother that there were no boundries to what they could do. And it felt so odd and unnerving at the same time, but it brought this sense of closeness and trust; something they had for a while now. Neither of them needed a new kidney or any other life-saving transplant, as it was all hypothetical and hopefully unlikey to happen in this life. That is if you don't think about the chain smoking or high sugar level. 

Discreetly untying Hijikata's mask from the back of his head and pulling down his own, Gintoki revealed a smile as he leaned in and very gently placed a chapped kiss on Hijikata's chapped lips. How surprising... 

"G-Gintoki...? Hah, I thought we weren't supposed to kiss. That hurt, y'know". 

"Ah, it was worth it. Totally worth it, mm-hm. Now, how 'bout we eat this orange? We can share, and I'll give ya something sweet later to help boost your blood sugar". 

("One day you might end up falling for your little ray of sunshine..."). That's what the old hag said...Not out of sarcasm or to mock him. There may have been some truth behind it. At this point, Gintoki cared deeply for Hijikata. He couldn't deny that. And it was obvious that Hijikata felt that exact same way in regards to caring deeply about Gintoki. But maybe Granny was a little of track there. Gintoki didn't know how to describe his feelings. It was puzzling. Of course, he had never thought about his feelings in great detail. And he wondered if what Granny said was worth thinking over...He didn't know. What was there to think about? If his feelings towards Hijikata could dig any deeper? He didn't know. Was Hijikata feeling this way at all? He didn't know. As they clumsily and light-heartedly fed eachother orange slices, sll Gintoki could see was a content and somewhat happy relationship...with a man, but that was an obstacle they had over-come months ago. So now what? The way he felt about Hijikata...the way Hijikata had changed his whole persective in a brighter light...His feelings...He was unsure, but was curious. 

Because of how much he cared about Hijikata...Because of far they had come already...Gintoki couldn't stop himself from wondering if there was something more. Feeling so comfortable and at peace with Hijikata, he wondered if those feelings would intensify and change and deepen. He didn't understsnd it, but a part of him...A part of him wanted to wait and find out...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this chapter wasn't ground-breaking in regards to the development of the relationship, but I did kind of delve into Gintoki's feelings a little bit and how that was changing. Despite some of the depictions of needles and blood tests (brought back horrible memories of mine), some vomiting and stuff, I hope this was still an enjoyable chapter. Again, it wasn't supposed to be totally ground-breaking or feels-y. It was something I wanted to do, and I did it. Don't worry. Hijikata's not gonna die of illness in this. I'd never do that to our favourite mayo-man. Ever.


	30. The People and The World Outside of Your Own

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am here again. Don't know if people will like this chapter, since it's gonna go back and forth quite a bit and...You'll see what I mean by that. And all I'm going to say is that I'm trying to add development to other characters, not just GinHiji stuff. That's all I'm saying. Please, enjoy!
> 
> (I'm trying my best here...).

More snowfall, but lighter and prettier than the storms. Kyubei could admit it was distracting, but beautiful. Not a lot of attention was drawn to her in public school, whereas she was often told off for getting distracted when she was home-schooled. Here, she could stare off beyond the windows of her classroom and let her imagination wander through the threads of her ambitions, hopes, and her love. If only reality was so simple. What Gintoki had told her, it played back often when she was alone in person and in thought. He was encouraging her, but at the same time, as a surprisingly reasonable adult, he couldn't get her hopes up. Although Kyubei was so close to Otae, they were so distant in feelings and wishes. And as painful as it was, she wished to accept things as they were and continue to be her friend for as long as possible. But another part of her couldn't get over the idea that she should one day tell the truth. 

That Saturday, only a half day of school, Kyubei walked out of the school gates with Otae by her side as per usual, as they normally did while feeling anything but normal. If one day she did tell the truth, again, with more sincerity and absolutely no force then...How would Otae react? But no matter how much she considered the outcomes, Kyubei couldn't find the courage to say anything with an open heart. Not this time.

"Kyu-chan, we still have time. Do you want to grab a hot chocolate or tea before we head back home to study? It could help wake us up, after all". 

"Huh? Oh, yeah, sure". Kyubei was lost in her own world for a moment, just as they were walking down the street with nothing much to say as most conversation topics had been passed around during lunch. 

"I hate that Konoko-chan nagged us to help out with the festival displays when we did plenty yesterday. Hmph, who does she think she is? Besides, we're helping all dsy tomorrow, aren't we, Kyu-chan?" 

"Ah, yes. Tae-chan, if she speaks to you that way again please let me know. I'll happily stick up for you, especially when I know how hard you've been working; studying, school work, your part-time job, chores, the festival and your need to spend a little more time with me. It's truely amazing". 

"Oh, Kyu-chan. I know I'm a hard-working girl, but don't say that as if I'm above you in anyway. I know how hard you've worked all year. Your father's been providing tutoring for you to one dah run his business, am I right?" 

"Yes, but Father...He knows I've come to acknowledge myself as both man and woman, so I wonder if he's skeptical about leaving the business to me. Of course, he could always sell it off to a close, trusted friend, but to me...". 

"Kyu-chan, there's no reason for him to be skeptical. You've earned the right to inherit such a huge company. Your gender shouldn't matter, because he should understand how intelligent and courageous you are; a perfect leader". 

"Tae-chan...I appreciate that. Thank you...". 

Her encouraging words rooted from friendship and kindness, and that was okay. Her smile was warm and gentle, but meant nothing more than that, and it was okay. To take a breath and put all of this behind her, it was certainly difficult. Gintoki's words and his advice kept repeated like a broken record of a song that, in Kyubei's eyes, would never get old or bothersome. He was right on many accounts, and thus she couldn't simply sigh these thoughts away. It kept bugging her and bugging her; not what Gintoki said, but the choice of being open and honest or...Well, either way, they could remain friends. Or maybe Otae would decide that they needed space, out of kindness. 

"Kyu-chan, you're spacing out a little. C'mon, I'm treating, after all". 

"Ah-...! There's no need for that, Tae-chan. I'll pay for my own hot cho-...I mean, my tea...". 

"Hm-hm. Kyu-chan, if you want to get a hot chocolate, you can". 

"...". 

Kyubei was brave and out-going on many accounts, yet she wasn't sure how to open up and admit her true feelings. This time around it was very difficult...More difficult than the first time she "opened up" about her feelings... 

... 

"I was kinda hoping you wouldn't pick up the phone". 

["Of course you would"]. 

In town, under a bus stop, Okita lingered around to make an important call. He was smirking, but disappointed that the demonic vice-commander didn't kick the bucket from illness, even if it was a cold-and, honestly, he wasn't aware of the anemia. Would Okita still be as morbid and cynical if he knew? Probably. He was only informed about the cold by Kondo, and asked if he could call to check in on Hijikata. Kondo for far too nice to realise that Okita would enjoy every second knowing that Hijikata was suffering a cold, cooped up in bed. 

"So, has Danna been taking good care of you?" 

["I have no idea why you want to know, but, yes, he has...somewhat"]. 

"Oh...?" Okita could hear a sigh over the line. Hijikata did not want to drag out this unnecessary conversation, did he? 

["He's sick, too. Happy now?] 

"Very. I'm sure you're taking very good care of Danna too, but I'm not gonna ask for detials. I'm a sadist, not a pervert, unlike you two". 

["What the hell are you trying to imply?! We're sick! We're-cough! Cough!"] 

Okita retracted the phone from his ear before he fell deaf, listening to Hijikata's coughing. Once it ceased, he listened in again. 

"Relax, Hijikata-san. I don't judge. Kondo-san told me to tell you to get well soon and that he'll call you eventually, too. That's from him, not me, so don't get the wrong idea". 

["I won't. I'll thank him when I hear from him. For now, you just stay out of trouble. And focus on your studying for winter exams"]. 

"Yeah, yeah, blah, blah, blah". 

["I'm serious, Sougo. You don't need me to tell you how important it is"]. 

"Still bossing me around...I'm hanging up, this conversation's getting on my nerves". 

["Suit yourself. I'll see you at work soon. See ya"]. 

"Sure...".

He never expected to hang up in an irritated state of mind, being bossed around again by Hijikata his...boss. Where does he get such an attitude? The only other people who would boss him around would be Kondo, and his sister when she was still alive. But the term "bossing around" didn't fit with them. He acknowledged their efforts as an act of looking out for Okita. Sure, Hijikata was obviously doing the same, but out of spite Okita always felt that he shouldn't and that he should mind his own goddamn business. 

Putting his cellphone on Sleep Mode, Okita stuffed the device into his coat pocket. He looked around the street, but intended to get up as soon as possible to get out of the cold. He had finished all his classes, but was stuck with studying for the rest of the day. How boring. So boring...If he had work then maybe he could occupy his time. If he cared to have friends then he could at least try to have fun. Ugh, who was he kidding? Friends to Okita were pointless, and irritating. He always found his place among those in the Shinsengumi. They were more like brothers than friends especially Kondo. Honestly he couldn't wait for the day he was of age and could drink with all of them. Underage drinking was common, yes, but he could never drink in front of Kondo when he wasn't twenty yet. Two years of waiting and servings of flat water and orange juice instead of sake or wine. Made him feel like such a child. 

Speaking of which... 

The snow under Okita's feet fell silent as he stopped walking off from this random bus stop and towards his apartment to occupy his time, somehow. However, he was already prepared to be occupied when his gaze crossed the street and a smirk curved onto his lips. What an odd, but common encounter. Across the street there sat a modern japanese restaurant. But it wasn't the restaurant itself, but inside the little japanese restaurant there was a little china girl who could be seen through the store window. Her hair and ability to hold such heavy-looking bags for take-out was a dead giveaway. Some woman sitting at the waiting area went to the trouble of opening the door for Kagura as her hands were clearly full. There was a smile and a thank you and the relief that it wasn't some strange old man offering to open the door. Okita knew Kagura well enough to understand what she was thinking. Her personality wasn't that complicated.

It felt somewhat odd, wanting to interact with this girl just to tease and bully her. Maybe Danna was right, partly: boys who go out of their way to bully certain girls have something wrong with them...or something like that. He couldn't remember, must have blocked out the correct philosophy of the great Sadist Gin-san; "Boys who bully certain girls usually have crushes on them". Yep, blocked that out to save himself from cringing or taking a moment or two to reflect on his life choices up to this point, where bullying the China girl was considered fun. 

Looking both ways of the road, like any child would comprehend by kindergarten, Okita crossed the street safely, wondering how he could bother Kagura. Yes, he was going out of his way to do this. It was in his nature, just to see a reaction. She walked on, carrying those heavy bags in gloved hands, her hair tied in a ponytail and...Huh? Wait... 

"Hey there, China Girl. Whatcha up to?" Okita approuched swiftly, his mind boggled at...this. 

Kagura gave little reaction, simply scoffing at Okita's presence and she continued down a snow-covered path. 

"Hah, you seem to come near me whenever it's convenient for you, aru. Bored?" 

"Yup. Say...". He was getting all the introductions out of the way, cutting Kagura off as his eyes focused just to make sure. "Are you wearing my zip-up out here? Thought you were gonna wash it and give it back?" 

This sparked a reaction: realisation and a sense of idiocy for picking out the most conve ient piece of clothing around before she ran all the way to school that morning. And Okita was no reveling in her expression. 

"Ah-...Um, humph! Big deal. I grabbed it first thing, how was I supposed to know, huh? I knew something was stinky, but...". She said that yet his zip-up looked perfectly clean. She washed it and didn't give it back. 

"Whatever, China Girl. But now you'll have to wash it again and then give it back". 

"I don't carry that many germs, asshole! You're filthier than I am! Now shut up. I've got to take these home".

"Ooh, such foul language. Did you hear that from Danna? What a role model". 

"I'm fourteen; I know all the bad words. Now can you leave me alone for today? Gin-chan always says that I'm freakishly strong, but even I have trouble carrying heavy stuff. Guess I ordered too much for myself? Eh, worth it". Kagura shrugged it off, continuing while trying to avoid eye contact with the sadist. 

"Need a hand?" Okita wasn't sure why he asked. That cetainly wasn't in his nature, and he was very close to retracting that statement, feeling disgusted by it, but he didn't have to. 

"Nope. I got it. Why you asking so suddenly? Did the Mayora sneak mayo into your lunch at some point and screw with your brain?" 

Okita resisted his gag reflex, holding it...holding it...taking a breath of fresh air. The thought of it was vulgar, almost frustrating to think that Hijikata could pull that off one day to get him back for...everything, basically. 

"Uh...Look, I didn't mean to ask. It slipped, alright?" 

"Are you seriously apologising because you offered to do something nice?" 

"And what?" 

"You're weird. At least the Mayora's a gentlemen to Gin-chan, aru. I'm jealous, honestly". 

"Is that so? Well don't expect a gentleman outta me". 

"I won't, duh". 

And she was right not to expect anything, with that unfazed expression. And this girl was usually a sulker when she wasn't treated like some kind of princess. But that wasn't the case here. Maybe she didn't necessarily do it on purpose, but Kagura began to show strain and struggle when carrying the two heavy bags. They didn't look close to bursting, but they must have been heavy nonetheless. Cue Okita's subtle eye-roll and bothered sigh. He reached out fairly quickly, and grabbed one of the bags by the handle. He took it from Kagura's hand, and continued on by her side without making any eye-contact whatsoever. He wanted to keep his pride. 

"What're you doing?" Kagura questioned him, and was honestly feeling weird about his uncharacteristic actions. 

"Nothin'. It was annoying how slow you were walking because of the bags. People should learn to walk at my pace or give up trying, China Girl". 

"You're the worst, but you're lightening the load. At least your useful for something". 

What a way to avoid saying "thank you" and "no problem" before leaving it at that, falling silent, the end. No, they kept reaching for eachother's throats as a defense mechanism, their only defense mechanism when it came to these weird, foreign things known as "kind gestures" and "gratefullness". They comprehended these things, however they pretended not to in front of eachother and carried on with a needless line of retorts and insults. That's how ordinary platonic relationships work, right? Well, ordinary, platonic rivalry relationships, that is. 

... 

The relief was like a calm ocean in summer, the landscape ahead. If you don't focus on the thin tide sweeping across the sand before pulling back then you can see the rest of the beautiful, shining ocean during the sunset. In this case, Hijikata was improving. That's what mattered. He was still anemic, but it wasn't as bad as before. Now that he could rest properly with supplements and cold medicine that wasn't as strong, the improvements were more and more visible with each day. As instructed by the doctor, he was to take a supplement once a day, preferably in the morning after eating breakfast, that was a part of his new diet plan.

He was out of bed a lot more, although still sick with a cold. He was encouraged to raise his blood sugar a little and have his blood circulating a little-not so much that he gets fatigued or exhausted, but enough so that he wasn't lying around all day. During that afternoon he woke up from a nap and came downstairs, looking a little better. At least, Gintoki saw it that way in the smallest details; a complexion that wasn't as pale, more movement, less dizziness and an ordinary appetite again. In Gintoki's eyes, and the doctor's, Hijikata was getting a little healthier each day but there was still a ways to go before he could return to work. 

"Sleep well?" Gintoki asked when hearing Hijikata enter the kitchen. Distracted from his task of breaking off chocolate pieces from a bar, he turned and waited for Hijikata to walk a little closer. 

"I guess you could say that. I'm still tired, though. Really tired...". 

"Hey, that'll get better if I have anything to do with it. Here, for your blood sugar". 

Gintoki held out a piece of ordinary, milk chocolate between his fingers with a serious look on his face. Hijikata accepted it gratefully, saying thank you but hesitating to eat. 

"Aren't we eating dinner soon?" 

"One piece of chocolate won't kill ya. In your case, this stuff is good for you, not just those vitimans the doctor prescribed. Now eat up. It should help give you some energy". 

"Well...okay. Thanks again". 

Hijikata pulled up his mask to quickly place the square chocolate peice into his mouth. For blood sugar, for energy, for his own good. And Hijikata was never a big fan of candy or chocolate. 

"So, how're you feeling? I know I must sound like a broken record with that question, but I've gotta ask. The doctor needs to know if you're suffering from headaches or dizziness, 'cause that could be the iron in the vitimans doing that". 

"Well, I'm not getting any headaches, I can ensure that. Just a little dizziness when I walk around the apartment for a long time, but other than that I'm just...tired". 

"You can sit and relax soon enough. We can cuddle up in the bed after eating and take a nap or two if you'd like". 

Gintoki brushed his fingers across Hijikata's bangs, subconsciously feeling his temperature with the base of his his fingers. Warm, but not scorching. Realising this, as sharp as he was, Hijikata pulled away Gintoki's hand from his forehead. Not with force, but he made it clear that he didn't want Gintoki to be over-bearing with concern. That wasn't exactly healthy for him, either; to be concerned constantly, even when it wasn't clear in his words or expression. Cool and collected as always. 

"So, how come the China Girl is bringing in take-out? Isn't that a bit of a work-out for her?" 

"She insisted that she would get take-out for us, even though I explained that I can cook something. She's keeping the money leftover, anyway, and when I gave in I said she could order whatever she wanted. I hate the fact that she's walking around out there, carrying heavy bags-knowing her and how much she usually wants to order, they will be heavy. If she slips on the ice and cracks her head, I'll be the one to take responsibility, even though it was her idea". 

"She'll be fine, won't she?" 

"Yeah, I guess. Kagura may be a glutton but she's not clumsy or scatter-brained. She can manage".

Gintoki proceeded to break off a piece of chocolate for himself before Kagura arrived. Although she was entitled to some too, even if it was brand chocolate-the best of the best according to Gintoki's sweet tooth and personal preference. He untied his mask, stuffing it into his back pocket for convenience. With his back turned, his mind occupied by the melting chocolate over his tongue in sweet bliss, he didn't think Hijikata would be willing to cuddle now. But, in his own mind, it seemed necessary or perhaps whimsical. 

He wanted a little warmth, to embrace Gintoki and inhale the sweet scent of his hair that he had grown so fond of, like a cat's soft, soft, fluffy fur. Wrapping his arm-his once injured arm-around Gintoki's side with his hand gripping his sweater, his other hand slid underneath Gintoki's arm and also gripped his sweater. Although he had to live with the fact that this mask and this forsaken cold prevented him from placing his chapped kisses on Gintoki's neck or in his hair, Hijikata managed to rest his chin on a broad shoulder and faintly smell the shampoo through a stuffed-up nose. 

"It's warm...". Hijikata mumbled, his head tilting to the side for his head to meet Gintoki's side-by-side. "I dunno if it's the fever, but...You're warmer, somehow. It's nice". 

"Hah, Hijikata, I think that's the fever. Or...maybe it's the eggnog Granny brought over". 

"I only drank a little, and it helped. No, it's just...It's hard to explain. I suppose I just feel more comfortable like this. It fits, don't you think?" 

The position they were currently in...It did almost feel like pieces of a puzzled locked together like intertwind fingers. Almost like they could lock just like this, and it would stay comfortable and warm. So Gintoki understood what Hijikata meant to an extent. This was cosy enough that he would think twice about leaving right now. 

"How's your wrist?" The question came to mind when knowing Hijikata was pressing his hand and wrist to Gintoki's stomach and side. Did it not hurt anymore, or was he holding it in for the sake of this cuddle? 

Gintoki took it upon himself to unravel Hijikata's sweater sleeve. The bandages-fresh ones-were still wrapped around to protect his scarred skin. Yes, he was scarred due to the accident with him collapsing, and the glass shattering beneath. Although it could have been much worse and thank god it wasn't. He was still anemic, and he had lost blood then. Back in the hospital, the IV didn't cure him completely, of course, but it helped. It helped a lot. Still a scary thought, kind of. 

"It's okay. The doctor said that the scars should gradually fade, but they won't be completely gone. You'll still see marks in a year or two, so...Other than that, it doesn't hurt anymore, so that's a good sign". 

"Yep. As long as you get better, I don't give a damn if you're left with itty-bitty scars. They don't bother me". 

Lacing his fingers through Hijikata's bandaged fingers, Gintoki raised up their hands intertwind together and placed a few kisses over covered knuckles and chilled fingertips. He did so briefly, but made no move to remove himself from this "moment", you could say. He remained in Hijikata's grasp for a little while longer as he snuck yet another piece of chocolate into his mouth before wrapping up the rest, to be stored back in the fridge for safe keeping. Just as he was ready to hide it away... 

"I'm home~, aru". 

Kagura arrived, both bags in both hands, a long sigh at the ready for when she was able to sit down and eat. Her stomach had been growling ever since she reached the apartment building, and the delightful smell of the food got to her. At her sudden, albiet expected, arrival Hijikata backed away from Gintoki. He covered up his bandaged arm, crossing both and keeping them to himself. 

"Make it here okay, kiddo?" Gintoki asked, reaching out for the bags once Kagura was close enough to hand them over. 

"Uh-huh. It was fine. I didn't slip, I got to order whatever I wanted, and I still keep the rest of the money you gave me...right?" 

"Yeah, for the millionth time, you can keep it". 

"Worth it. It was so worth it, aru". 

"Go change outta your uniform before hou eat". 

"Eh? Why?! I'm starving!" 

"Cause I'm doing laundry, and you won't need it tomorrow, will ya? Eating comfort foods and take-out should be done in that exact way: comfort. When I was in high school and we ordered take-out as a rare treat, none of us hung around in our school uniforms. In fact, we sat around in loose tee-shirts and our boxers or sweatpants in front of recorded drama series. Now go change. I'll count to three: one...two...". 

Kagura grew frustrated at his bossy, dad-like attitude. Before he reached three, counting by fingers and all, Kagura stormed her way upstairs to quickly change before eating. What? If she didn't put her uniform in the laundry now she never would. Hijikata couldn't hold back a smirk, although Gintoki didn't notice. What he did notice was the silence. He looked to Hijikata, shrugging. 

"What...?" 

"Hm? O-oh, nothing. Nothing at all...".

Again eith his smirk and "oh, it's nothing" whenever Gintoki habitually acts like a dad to the China Girl. He sighed and brushed it off. He wasn't gonna question this shit again. The task in front of his was his focus, which consisted of grabbing a pair of scissors to cut open the knots made in the handles of these bags. One by one, Gintoki removed the food from both bags and set them out for all three of them to figure out which meal went to who. Hijikata was already picking up, what appeared to be, a bowl-like container of udon and a small wrapped up container of sushi in different, but few, varieties. 

"Is that all yours?" Gintoki asked as he found his own meal and chosen side dishes among Kagura's. 

"Yep. Ah, we're making tea too, aren't we?" 

"Uh-huh...". 

"I'll do that, then". 

"Ah-ah-ah, no you don't". Gintoki grasped Hijikata's shoulder as he was reaching for the cupboards. "You sit down and rest. I've got it". 

"Gintoki, I'm not gonna sit around and do nothing. I've been doing nothing for nearly a week. I can do small things, so it's not like I'm running a marathon". 

"Whatever you say". 

"And put your mask on. Neither of us can afford to take care of the China Girl if she gets sick too, y'know". 

Gintoki took out his mask from his back pocket, tying it around his head, adjusting it, making sure it wouldn't decide to slip off during dinner. Then he could continue sorting out the meals and side dishes that Kagura ordered. Gintoki recognised his own soon enough, leaving Kagura's items altogether. Funny, she only ordered one meal and two side dishes. Anyone would think, knowing her, that she would order more. Guess it was either that or keep the extra thousand yen that Gintoki contributed into the "fund" for take-out. 

Kagura did join them soon enough, bolting downstairs with her uniform crumbled up in her arms. She made a quick visit to the bathroom just to dump her unneeded uniform into the laundry basket before dashing towards the kitchen for her food. She changed in a rush; grabbing a loose hoodie and pants from wherever she kept them in her bedroom whether it was her closet, drawers or...her own laundry basket. If that was the case, she needed a talking to after this. A minute or two was spent ripping of lids of containers, tossing them into the trash, taking out bowls and plates before serving and actually sitting down to say thanks and eat. 

"Hey, Mayora, how're feeling? I forgot to ask earlier before I left 'cause I was gonna be late, but...". 

"It's fine--I'm fine. Not a hundred percent, but I'm getting better. Thanks". 

"Oi, what's this? You worried about Hijikata-kun there, Kagura-chan?" 

"Gin-chan, don't tease me. The stupid sadist does that. Want me to throw you into an air-hocky table too? I was freaked out when the Mayora collapsed, alright? I never saw something like that since Mami was sick. I wanted to know that he's not gonna leave you any time soon, Gin-chan. Heaven's a big place, I'm sure". 

"Kagura, he'll be fine". 

"Good...". Kagura muttered her full stop to the conversation before purposely slurping several thin strings of soba noodles into her mouth, storing them in her cheek as she chewed. 

Amazing to see how much Kagura cared. She certainly had trouble hiding it, even with a frown and a sulking expression as she slurped her noodles and gulped down her tea as if she really did have a work-out. And with that, leaving Kagura to her thoughts, dinner continued in silence for a while. Only natural for someone to ask about the upcoming culture festival at Kagura's school, or a brief explanation as to when Hijikata was returning to work. As it turned out, Kondo had been calling and visiting whenever he could, especially after hearing about the anemia and Hijikata's collapse. He was more visibly worried than Gintoki was, and that's no surprise.

Hijikata would return to his duties soon, and still take supplements for his own good. The doctor's would tell him when he was in the clear eventually with another check-up and blood test along with it. The way he was going with those, he could have piercings in his arms. A mere exaggeration. He wasn't receiving check-ups that often, thus he wasn't receiving a lot of blood tests. There had only been one blood test after he was pardoned from the hospital-a small, small blood test-and only one check-up during the week. There would be another in maybe a couple weeks time. But it was good to have him in the apartment where he could rest comfortably. Hospitals, as far as Gintoki knew, were not the cosiest resting spots. And this...Even if he had his own apartment, it was nice to consider even Gintoki's apartment as part of Hijikata's home...At this point, at least. 

... 

The eagerness to bury his chilled, pale feet and shivering body under a thick coverlet and paper-thin sheets didn't go amiss with Gintoki. In fact, as Hijikata curled up under the covers in a ball, Gintoki smiled. Too cute, too cold, too much space in the bed. Wrapping up before bed was even an option. Gintoki had the idea to man-up and wear the onesie that Kagura kindly bought for his birthday-ah, without the hood. Too stuffy. And Hijikata borrowed a long-sleeved jersey from Gintoki with no real design and just a deep red that, coincidentally, somewhat matched his eyes. Putting that aside, it was warmth and soft as hell. The sweatpants made his position all the more comfortable.

"You look really good in my clothes, you know that?" Gintoki slid in, on his side of the bed, looming over Hijikata a little. "Kinda sexy...". 

"Hah, are you complimenting me, or your dress sense?" 

"My dress sense, duh. I may not look like it, but I know how to shop. Eh, you, obviously, dibshit". 

Gintoki cuddled Hijikata, tickling his sides, sending jolts through Hijikata's ribs and goosebumps across his skin. His warm breath added to the sensations of excitement and sensitivity. 

"O-okay, okay! C-c'mon, sto-gh! Hah, I don't have the energy-ee! F-for this...! Quit it, "dipshit"!" 

Hijikata rolled over from his side, slapping Gintoki's forehead on reflex, and the tickling stopped. 

"Ow! A-ow...That hurt, asshole. I, I tickle you and you smack my forehead?!" 

"Don't be a baby. It was a tiny tap on the head. Besides, I told you to stop. I don't have enough strength to fight back". 

"Right...I get it. Psh, "tap on the head". You not seein' this mark? But...It's not as fun if you don't fight back. I prefer a chsllenge with you". 

"So I've noticed".

A moment to stare into eachothers eyes was very intimate, without words, but... 

"Ack...Sorry. Gimme a second...". was ruined when Gintoki had to sniffle. 

He covered his nose, getting off of Hijikata to grab a tissue and blow the snot away. Hijikata asked for some too, as if Gintoki need to keep his nostrils from drooling was contageous. Hijikata also blew his nose and was quickly relieved. Not a single long, romantic moment would come while they were still sick.

"I fuckin' hate this cold". Gintoki grumbled, blowing his nose once more. 

"Join the club...". 

"My nose is runny, sometimes it blocks up, it's constantly irritated because of all the tissues. I haven't used up this many tissues since I was a teenager, actually". 

"You didn't just say what I thought you said, did you?" 

"Don't act like it's disgusting. At such an age, you gotta splooge when you gotta splooge-just shows that I was healthy". 

"Whatever you say...". This wasn't normally something to brush off. It was the norm' to yell at Gintoki, call him a pervert, tell him to keep such information to himself. But there was a great lack of mental and physical strength to do so. 

Balling up the used tissue, Gintoki tossed it into the waste basket left at a close distance. It was filling up with snotty, dried up tissues by the hour. What a disgusting display at the corner of the bedroom. Gintoki lied back down on his side, pulling the covers up. No more intimate moments for tonight. Too much energy to be used up. They would end up falling asleep on eachother without thinking, while in a subconscious state of mind as the cold and flu would send them to sleep. 

He, Gintoki, scootched over until he was right beside Hijikata, their bodies making contact. Hijikata moved his arm out of the way to close the gap between them. With said arm Hijikata hugged Gintoki by the back and allowed him to rest his head like Hijikata was a pillow. Maybe not the softest pillow, but it didn't stop Gintoki from sighing in total comfort. 

"Hm...Don't cough on me while we sleep, okay?" Gintoki's rewuest literally opened Hijikata's eyes as he was read to settle down into sleep. He shook his head faintly to himself before shutting his eyes again. 

"Then don't sneeze on me while we're falling asleep". 

"What, you expect me to hold it in?" 

"You expect me to hold in coughing?! Look, we're wearing our masks, so it should be fine. Now let me sleep-like-forever". 

"Fine...You comfortable?" 

"Yeah, perfectly. You?" 

"Mm-hm...". 

"Good. That's...good". 

Affectionatly, almost like a habit, Hijikata rubbed his fingertips through Gintoki's soft hair; petting it. And to this, Gintoki purred, or sighed, happily. It was hard to admit but...Even Gintoki could show a more precious side. His endearing side...His..."cute" side. Took a while to saynit in his head, but Hijikata got there with a pounding heart and irritated thoughts. He said it again, in his head: "Gintoki...could be cute, too. Gintoki could...be cute...too. He was-...He was cute...too". Trivial, but also somewhat necessary in Hijikata's eyes. 

Gintoki had called him cute so many times now than it felt off to leave Gintoki out. It was never in his character to labek him as being "cute", but...Here Hijikata was, eyes on the ceiling, thoughts repeating those same words calmly as he accepted each of them into memory. As he unconsciously, but oh so softly, continued to pet Gintoki's hair he could feel his body being squeezed in a more secure and rather warm hug. He liked this, seemingly. Now that could be considered endearing, especially since Gintoki was only semi-conscious of it; the action of rubbing his head softly against Hijikata's chest, hugging him a little tighter... 

With a soft sigh under his mask, Hijikata kept his eyes shut this time, and his hand ceased movement around Gintoki's soft, silver locks. The room settled down, and all was quiet. Perfect...Hopefully neither of them would suffer a stubborn and annoying coughing fit in the middle of the night. Obviously, there was doubts in the back of their minds but first and foremost there was the prospect of a good sleep. They were both too tired too early that day. Come sweet relief of sleep. Didn't take too long. They were both absolutely exhausted, and in a position of comfort and security; in eachother's arms. If not for the potential coughing and sneezing to keep them awake, this could be one of the best sleeps they would experience since they got sick. Brilliant... 

... 

It took Kyubei a moment before she decided to call it a night. Standing before her...standing mirror, she looked at her reflection with the same old uncertainty. In front of this mirror, she untied her long hair, brushing the strands through her fingers, over her shoulder to get a good look at the length and dark waves streaming down. Through this mirror, in this lighting, she could see the shine in her eyes and her long eyelashes. Kyubei looked down at herself, seeing the bra that covered her breasts first of all. It was Otae that helped her pick these out, as embarrassing as it was. The bruises around Kyubei's sides and ribcage were barely visible now. Ever since she threw that suffocating binder in the trash, she was converted to bras, to be comfortable with her chest, who she was physically. But mentally...She wasn't sure. 

Her eyes met her reflection again, and Kyubei let her fingers run through her hair again and it looked...normal. This was the first time she really looked at herself in the mirror without her hair tied up, or when she was wearing a top a size too big for her delicate body, stereotypical colours to label herself as male dying each piece of clothing she owned, with an exceptional few. No skirts, no heels, no stockings, no make-up, no scrunchies, nothing to show that she was a woman on the outside. Just a physical mask of a man.

From the clothing hanger, set up above the mirror, Kyubei pulled down a tee-shirt that Otae had bought for her as a gift when she went to a concert with some friends. Kyubei wasn't familiar with the band and, at the time, she was on a strict curfew. So Otae went out of her way to record the whole performance on her phone, no matter how eratic it was in sound due to the roaring crowd around her. In addition she went out of her way to stand in line before hundreds of others to buy some kind of souvenir for her dear friend. Kyubei had kept it this whole time, to sleep in mostly. She slipped into it easily, putting aside the reflection she stared at seconds ago with uncertainty and a sense of being self-conscious. The shirt was big enough to hide her chest away, plus it was a gift... 

Kyubei could hear the soft cooes by her feet, and gentle tugs of her sweatpant's cuffs. She looked down, smiling. 

"Hey there, Jugem Jugem Shit-Tossing the Life of Shin-Chan’s Two-Day-Old Underwear Balmung Fezalion Isaac Schneider 1/3 True Love 2/3 Hangnail Anxiety Betrayal Knows My Name Or Does It Really Ignore Calls Squid Dogfish Halibut Trout-Cod Dogfish This Is A Different Dogfish, I’m Talking About The Dogfish Shark Kaluga Ray Yuuteimiyaoukimukou pepepepepepepepepepepepe Runny Diarrhea". 

Kyubei picked up her pet primate from the floor. As light as a feather, as always. Kyubei held him close, like an infant, and from there he took his own initiative to crawl across her shoulders, clurling around them like a soft, fluffy coil, his tail swaying through her hair. With only her fingers, Kyubei pet his head and he cooed. Maybe he was tired, the lights blazing above, keeping this little guy awake. Bedtime, then. Kyubei's bed was bigger than it should have been. She realised this the first time she slept over at Otae's house and she first laid eyes on her futon. Tiny compared to her bed at home. Too much space for one person and a pet monkey. Then again, Otae had slept over a few times, but not often. 

Sitting down on the matress, Jugem-Jugem hopped off from her shoulder and curled up on a pillow specifically layed out for him next to Kyubei's usual side of the bed. Her intention, first of all, was to unplug her phone from its charger before getting back up to turn off the lights. As she did, it hummed and signaled an oncoming text message. Distracted, Kyubei checked. Otae...It was from Otae. 

[Hey, Kyu-chan]. Said the very first sentence of her message. [I just wanted to give you a heads-up. Tomorrow morning I have some quick errands to run before heading to school to help with the festival. I would have asked Shin-chan but he's working tomorrow morning, first thing. So unfortunately you'll have to go on without me. I'll see you there].

As Kyubei was about to argue in protest, to suggest that she tag along and help with errands, she immediatly received another text. 

[No arguments. Our class is, as I've heard, short of a few hands. I'll be joining soon enough,nso don't worry. Goodnight, Kyu-chan]. And that was that. Kyubei responded with a goodnight before shutting off her phone.

"No arguments" she said. It was probably fruitless to argue, as she would see Otae at the school for festival preparations anyway. She was sure of that. In the midst of thought, reassuring herself that Otae wouldn't skip out on her assigned duties, Kyubei took a moment to register the sound of her room door-or doors-opening. When the person's voice came through, that was when she turned around. 

"Young Master?" Ayumu, naturally. He was at the door, checking in on things. "Aren't you going to sleep yet? It's getting late". 

"Y-yes, I'm going to bed right away. Ah, goodnight, Ayumu". 

"You have no idea how happy it makes me when you say that, Young Master. Could you possible say goodnight...one more ti-". 

"Want me to kick you as well?" 

"N-no, not at all, Young Master. Have a good sleep". 

Ayumu left. Good riddance, for now. On his way, he did turn out the light, and left the whole room in dark, aside from the little lamp on Kyubei's end table. Placing her phonce back down on said end table, she lay down herself under the coverlet with Jugum-Jugem at her side. She turned off this lamp, and made it her first priority to get some rest. If Otae was running errands first thing...Kyubei wanted to pay a visit to someone on her way to the school. A quick visit, and a familiar discussion... 

... 

... 

The skies were surprisingly clear that morning. The snow had come to melt, yet a thick chill hung in the air. First thing, Kyubei went her own way. She was still planning to meet Otae at the school to help with festival displays for their class, but...Kyubei had to make a quick stop. From memory, and Google™ maps on her phone for the sake of playing it safe, she located the apartment building in which Gintoki lived. And with that, staring up at the incredibly belittling skyscraper, she made her way inside, heading for the top floor. 

Kyubei wasn't entirely sure what she was going to say, but she had an idea on what to discuss. She felt odd. Not about the visit but...it felt like she wasn't in her own skin. Under her coat, she couldn't stop this feeling that she should have...chosen her fashion differently today. It was impulse, probably. A whim. A...mistake, perhaps? She was answered after sheepishly knocking on the front door; answered by Kagura. When first seeing Kagura, she was read to go somewhere, it seemed, in her coat but without boots. Kyubei interupted before she put them on... 

"Ah, Kyu-chan!" She was happy to see her, smiling a bright and radiant smile. She briefly turned to look inside the apartment and called out. "Gin-chan! It's Kyu-chan!" 

"Invite her in, then. I'm kinda busy right now, as you can see". 

"So rude...Anyway, come in. Although I have to leave soon. Did you wanna see me or Gin-chan?" 

"Uh, Ginto-...Gin-san. I'm here to see Gin-san". 

"Ohh, okay. I'll have him make tea for you, since the Mayora's fast asleep upstairs". 

"Hijikata-san? O-oh, right...Otae told me he wasn't very well". 

"He's doing better. Not gonna die on us yet, is he, Gin-chan?" 

Kyubei did enter the apartment, as she had permission from the tenant himself, but she hesitated to remove her shoes. 

"Of course he's not gonna die. Not while I'm around to drag his ass to the hospital if I have to". 

Kyubei very curiously peered over to where Gintoki was, and what an image it was. He sat on the floor, before the wide window in front of his desk, hunched over. It wasn't clear what he was doing, but... 

"Gin-chan's sketching again". Kagura chose to elaborate, clearly noticing Kyubei's curiosity. 

"Ah-sorry, I didn't mean to-". 

"It's okay. Y'know...". Kagura leaned in close, cupping a hand around her mouth to muffle her voice. "Gin-chan started sketching again ever since the Mayora came along. Shows just what lo~ve can do, aru". 

"Kagura, you're not discreet at all. I know you're talking about me, so quit it". Kagura huffed, annoyed that Gintoki somehow heard that. He wasn't an old geezer yet; he could hear just fine. 

"Hmph. Anyway, I'll see you later, Kyu-chan". 

"Ah, are you not helping with the fesitval today?" 

"Nah. I've done my bit, aside from goin' out to buy supplies for our class. Besides, I'll be an extra in our class performance". 

"I see. Well, I'll see you soon, then". 

"Yup. Bye, Gin-chan!" 

"See ya, kiddo--and be careful! Don't slip on the ice and crack your head open". 

Kagura agreed on and on to that dad-like advice, that was just common sense, while she slipped on her shoes before flashing a quick smile and wave to Kyubei before making her exit. Kyubei took a breath and slipped off her own shoes. 

"Um, I'm sorry to intrude, but I had to speak to you again. Am I distrupting anything?" 

Gintoki had put down his pencil and pad to stand up and walk towards Kyubei's general direction. He wore his mask to keep his cold to himself, as well as a scarf over his sweater, indoors. Was it really that cold for him? 

"Nah, nothin' at all. I was just, er, ahem, sketchin'. It's for the cover of the new book-nothing special. Take a seat, I'll make up some tea". 

"Ah, no-...!" Kyubei stopped Gintoki from making his way to the kitchen, although she hesitated to grab his arm in protest. He faced her, puzzled. "I won't be here long. I just...wanted to talk to you for a bit". 

"...Doesn't matter". Gintoki murmured, continuing his stroll to the kitchen. "It's cold out, and it'd be rude not to offer some sort of hospitality since you walked all the way here". 

"It's on my way to school anyway, so...Ah, thanks, Gin-san". 

"Like I said: have a seat, get comfortable, and tell me what it is you wanted to discuss. Although I can take three guesses to decide what it involves". 

Gintoki put on a pot of tea while Kyubei hesitantly removed her coat, hung it up, and went for the living room to sit down on the very edge of the sofa as not to make herself too comfortable. A moment or two of waiting left Kyubei tapping her heel against the floor, pulling down the cuffs of her big sleeves. And when Gintoki finally walked over with a cup of green tea in hand... 

"Okay, here you go-woah...!" Gimtoki ceased movement, although he was two seconds away from dropping the mug on the floor from...whatever he felt about this. "Uh...". 

"Look-I know it looks weird, but...". 

Kyubei refused to make eye contact with Gintoki. What did she mean weird? When she arrived, she was wearing a coat. When removing that coat, Kyubei had revealed a long-sleeved sweater that fit around her slim figure and shaped her chest-not to be perverted or rude, that's just how it was. Skinny jeans too... 

"Huh. Gotta admit, if I was in high school or you were a little older, I'd flirt with you. But I'm already taken; oh so devoted to my sweet Oogushi-kun. Damn...I wonder if I even get excited by chicks anymore". Probably still did...Just...more excited by his sweet Oogushi-kun. 

"Um, Gin-san, do you mind...?" 

"Ah. 'xcuse me. Here's your tea. I'm wearing gloves so you shouldn't catch anything". 

"Th-thank you". 

Gintoki took his own seat on the arm chair, closest to Kyubei to have this little discussion. He was all too aware about it's contents and the topic Kyubei had in mind. Why else would she speak to him so privately? 

"So, go on ahead. Say what's on your mind and I'll do my best to...join in on the conversation. I'm no therapist, but I'm a friend and that's as good as it gets". 

"It is. I don't think I'd tell a therapist about-ahem...A-anyway, I...I did some thinking last night; a lot, actually. The first time I ever confessed my feelings to Otae, I considered myself to be male-all male, and my methods were forecful and unfair. I was dishonest with her and I tried so hard to be someone I was not. Although I was raised to be a man, I'll alwayd be a woman on the outside and even fractions of my personslity remain like that of a young woman. I'm not transgender-I don't think of myself as being trapped in this body when my mind and my heart is so different. I certainly can't say that I'm both. So...". 

Kyubei paused, taking not one sip of tea as he hesitated to speak and act and look directly at Gintoki, at least until she gave herself the time to breathe. 

"It's fine, just take your time. If you don't wanna finish...". 

"N-no, I do. I do wanna finish!" That was when Kyubei made eye contact, bravely. "I just...I want Tae-chan to accept me in this form. I want her to acknowledge the fact that I have a boyish personality, and a woman's body. I can't pretend, because back then I couldn't accept myself. That's what I'm trying to do. No matter what, I'll always protect Tae-chan, and no matter what happens I'll always love her. But I want her to...love me as who I am in physical form, too. I want to know if my honest will let her give me a chance. If I tell her my feelings like this, tell her I've accepted this side of me...Maybe there's the slightest chance she'll...".

"And you think that'll work out the way you want it to?" 

"I don't know, but it's worth trying before I give up completely, isn't it?" 

"I suppose. But if things don't work out, you'll only get hurt. That's the truth". 

"I know. But...How is it that two people like you and Hijikata-san could have such a bad relationship before, to...being so close and serious about eachother? You're both men too, and you've accepted all of him, haven't you? I've accepted Tae-chan as she is, but she hasn't totally accepted me-maybe as a friend, but not as a woman who loves her dearly".

"When you put it that way...Well, you probably already know that Hijikata and I didn't start off as "best buddies"; we fought a lot, made trouble for eachother just because we walked the exact same path by coincedence. We barely knew anything about eachother, yet everyday we met by accident, we'd scream in eachother's faces for the little things. What we developed was through talking, getting to know more about eachother as people...as men. You guys have been friends for years, and from that it's natural to wanna keep things that way". 

"I see...". 

"I don't wanna discourage you, Kyubei. In fact, I wanna help in anyway I can. But if you go through with telling her these things, whatever the outcome is, you have to learn to accept it and move on. The likelyhood is that Otae will still be friends with you, but after that there's no way you can keep this up. You'll only get hurt, and it'll hurt her to see you like this".

He was right, and he was being supportive in a brutally honest kind of fashion. He didn't want to see Kyubei get hurt too badly. If she did get hurt, then it should be a stepping stone to guide her and push her in the right direction. Right now, however, she wasn't willing to give up on the person she loved. Gender didn't matter-not in ths day and age. But Kyubei wanted Otae to accept her as she was, and to know that Kyubei had accepted herself yet was still willing to show her love and affection for Otae; another woman. If that wasn't clear enough, then it was just Kyubei's idea of a "last chance". She thought about it in a night, for christ sakes. Must have taken her a while to build up the courage-since she first spoke to Gintoki about these things, since he encouraged her to give it her all and establish a future for herself when it comes to relationships. 

"The fact that you came here to talk, dressed like that...Are you gonna tell her today?" Get right to it? 

"I...I'm not sure. I thought about it last night, until I fell asleep. No, actually...I've been thinking this over since we spoke. I don't want to hesitate anymore, but of course I don't want to be hasty".

"No, you don't, I suppose...Look, if you're seeing her today, then just spend some time with her like you normally do; have fun. Then try to encourage yourself to tell her how you feel. Even if it's not today...If you don't, you'll cling on to your feelings needlessly and you'll live in regret. That's just the truth". 

"Yes, I'm aware...I'll try. I really needed that conversation, so...thank you, Gin-san". 

"Ah, no need to thank me. Are you seeing her today?" 

"Yeah, we're both helping around with the upcoming culture festival this morning". 

"Then maybe you should run along and meet up with her. Try to think this over some more today, while you're there". 

"I will...".

Kyubei felt a tad more confident than she did before, if just a little bit more. Sub-consciously, she knew that her visit here was for morale support. She had taken the time to think over the subject again and again in her head until it was physically painful around her skull--throbbing. When she did decide, she officially decided to tell Otae the truth once more and to also hear the truth from her, too. If Otae could see more than a friend in men's clothing-a good friend who she thought to have a bright personality and a clear road ahead-then maybe...Maybe if she acknowledged Kyubei as a woman, too...The answers were unclear. Naturally she expected Otae's feelings to remain the same. But she hoped there would be a little change in Otae's heart. It seemed so impossible, but that wasn't the case if it involved the will to try. And she would, indeed, try again with her head held high, and the preparation to let Otae go, romantically. 

... 

Standing was painful. But standing in the cold was painful and annoying. It was annoying to wait for a group of peers that drabble on and on about their own thing while Kagura remained out of the loop. She was more in favour of speaking to Soyo or a couple of her real friends who were helping out at the culture festival right now, unfortunately. Pain, pain pain-what a pain. She huffed, the frosted particles of her breath evaporating into the air like a smoke cloud, like one of the Mayora's cigarettes. Due to the wait, she resorted to parking her ass on the frosted side-walk, under a bus stop. Cold, cold, cold-so cold. But Kagura endured it as she sent text after text to these moronic girls who were not answering at all.

After only five minutes of waiting on the ground, among the half an hour she waited overall, Kagura could feel her irritation build into anger. Why did those piss-heads invite her out anyway? To do this shit as a joke? Unbelievable. But they couldn't comprehend the lengths Kagura would go to out of anger. In her head she pictured herself tearing their matching ponytails from their heads, or hanging them up as culture festival decorations. All because Kagura was stuck with them to go buy supplies for the culture festival...She was ready to give up, her anger fading into a feeling of disappointment and dread; knowing she would get yelled at by the class representitive for not taking part. Not her fault those giggly, teasing, annoying bitches couldn't be nice and just drag Kagura along to stores for festival supplies. How cruel... 

"Aren't you freezing your ass off like that?"

She wondered how long that person had been in her presence, staring like it was a circus show. But it could only be one person, of course. Yet, once again, Kagura lacked a reaction as she looked up from the ground and confirmed her suspicions with a furrow of her brow. 

"No. It's more comfortable than standing...". Kagura turned her head away from Okita, and in her mind she fathomed the disbelief that this guy would meet her twice in a row over the course of two days. 

"Somehow I doubt that". For some reason he wasn't acting like his sadistic self, looking down at Kagura with teasing and bullying in mind. He was aloof, although that wasn't unusual. "Need a hand getting up?" 

"No, I'm fine where I am, aru". 

"What's with that face? Are you sulking or what?" 

"None of your business...". 

Kagura was angry. Oh she was angry, but in front of someone else her mood melted down into this state of melancholy. Maybe it was Okita's aloof attitude, how easy going he was despite all of this trivial crap. Not that he was involved or should care, but it was irritating to see a lowlife like him wandering around without a care in the world. 

"Oi, sadist...What's it like to have people look up to you and do anything to impress you?" 

"...". Okita legitimately pondered this question, but in addition he wondered why the little China Girl would ask in the first place with such a sad expression. With process of elimination and body language he could safely assume what happened. Sharp as a knife. "Makes me feel like I should be telling those people to get a life. It's fun for a while, bein' all superior even though I'm a first-year in college. But, when it all comes down to it, people who think others should follow them with selfish intentions in mind are the ones who should get a life". 

Okita crouched down by Kagura's side, getting a sneak peek of her phone on accident. From what he saw before the screen fell asleep-untouched-she had been have a one-sided discussion. 

"Do you mind leaving me be, aru? I'm kinda pissed right now". 

"I can see that. I'm guessing these people, or this person, wanted to take you for a fool, huh?" 

"Yeah. I swear, I'll kill 'em for it. They ask me if I wanna meet up with them as a group to buy stuff for the culture festival, and they ditch me. Assholes...". Kagura woke her screen up and began to swiftly delete the numbers of these girls. With that settled she sighed in relief, pale and cold from the frost. 

"You gonna confront them about it?" 

"Tomorrow. That's the only time I'll see 'em. I'll show them that they don't cross me, aru". 

"You're not very intimidating, y'know?" 

"Well what am I supposed to do?! I'm not big like Gin-chan or talented in martial arts like the Mayora, but I'm strong willed! And I can't let a group of bitches push me around, aru".

"...Has this been going on for a while?" 

"Not really. But ever since our class representitive grouped me together with them they've been sighing and complaining-I know they have. I did think it was strange that they openly invited me to buy this stuff, since we were supposed to today but...They got rid of me. Now if they buy all the stuff without me, I'll get in trouble for not helping...Aaaagh! That pisses me off so much!" 

She kinds sounded like Gintoki for a moment there. How weird, but not that surprising. Okita was easily tired of her complaining, and so he openly let out a sigh and stood straight. 

"Well, why not buy all the stuff without them?" 

"Eh...?" 

"You can't get into trouble if you do your part, right? What is it you have to get?" 

"Er...Thread, material, paint and stuff, but I can't carry all of that by myself; that's why they put us into a group". 

He really wanted to leave her to it, but the idea was already stuck in his head through this tiny sliver of his conscience that, somehow, still existed. He scratched the back of his head and rolled his eyes. Shit. There goes his reputation as the "annoying sadist"; down the drain. 

"I'll...help ya, if you want. If you've got the money and a list, I'll give ya a hand". 

"Ehhh? Seriously, what the hell is going on with you? Has the Mayora had some influence on you? Are you being a gentleman 'cause you see him being a gentleman to Gin-chan, aru?" 

"Don't. You'll make me vomit. I'm bored anyway since there's no work or classes. And who knows, you might grow to appreciate me a little more, eh, China Girl?" 

"Pff, as if". Kagura stood to her feet, stuffing her phone back into her pocket. "Fine, you can help. But I owe you nothing but a thank you, got it?" 

"Whatever. Just as long as I'm never caught up in debt with a bothersome little girl like you, then I don't care". 

"Call me little again and I'll-". 

"Okay, can we stop wasting time? I'm freezing my ass off. Gimme my zip-up back". 

"You're already wearing one! And what am I supposed to do, freeze?! Humph! Let's just go. I hate standing around here". 

Kagura marched on ahead with Okita casually following while managing to keep up at his own pace. She didn't regret accepting his help, but a part of her lingered around the distrust that he would do...something. She didn't know what he could do, but it gave her a bad feeling. Just walking next to him stirred the fear of trouble and regret. But Okita was perfectly aloof, especially about the zip-up. Why did she keep putting it on before going out? Convenience. Right, right. Dammit...This guy was acting so weird. Seriously, what was his deal? And of course Kagura couldn't quite put her finger on it. How could she? This guy was harder to read than latin. Was she to be slightly worried, or was this China Girl supposed to be prepared? Or both, for anything? 

... 

As Kyubei recalled, her class was running a noodle shop. It occured to her as she stepped through the main entrance, changing her shoes. Students were already around the main entrance, hanging up banners and decorations set for next weekend. Currently, it was a case of hanging up and designing decorations to be stored away until the upcoming Friday, when students would make the effort to stay behind and set everything up for the weekend; moving desks, setting up the auditorium for stage performances storing food items for cafés and generally finishing off the last touches. This had been organised for about a month, in October. Yes, they were well-prepared this year.

Kyubei wasn't surprised when a few glances shot in her direction as she walked through the halls, wearing what she was wearing. Everyone had acknowledged her as female by now. The incident several months ago, when Kyubei collapsed during gym class, was confusing and someone found out about her...binder situation. A few rumors spread. No one hated her for it, and most didn't dare judge her so heartlessly as a mere few did but...Otae always stuck by her, and stood up for her whenever there were whispers in the hallway. Even now...

The hallways were riddled with students too, some of which neglecting their assigned jobs to chatter and laugh eachother's ears off. It was almost distracting, yet Kyubei kept her head down and went straight to her classroom to receive a job from their class representitive. The sliding doors creaked, and out came two students intending to exit the class. They froze, startled, but then bowed and apologised. 

"Ah, sorry, Yagyuu-san. We didn't-". 

"You didn't know. It's fine. S-sorry...Go ahead". Kyubei stepped aside, and the girls walked off with polite smiles and uttered apologies before Kyubei could enter the classroom too.

As she did enter her own classroom, a surprise caught her off guard and had her freezing at the door like she had just witness a haunting, a ghost standing in the corner of the room. The occuring thought was somewhat amusing for a moment, considering there was a haunted house being set up two classrooms away. But, no, what put Kyubei in a stand-still position was the fact that Otae was in the classroom. Kyubei did wish to meet Otae at school, but she was a senior in another class-a class representitive to boot. Why was she... 

Otae wasn't the only person in the classroom. There was a boy in the exact same year, standing tall above Otae at at least six foot with this aura of a straight A student. His demeanor and body language gave off that impression moreso than appearance. No one could generalise like that. He was speaking with Otae, receiving a few nods and a humoring smile. What was he talking to her about? He didn't look nervous, nor overly confident or over-bearing. Just...eager to speak to Otae. Were they in the same class?

If he was bothering her-...No, Kyubei couldn't be sure of that. Maybe Otae was just being polite. She wasn't saying much, as Kyubei could read vaguely from her lips. There was just nodding along as he spoke. Maybe she was...bothered by him? A friend could casually interupt without realising because her instincts led her towards her friend, whom she was meeting at the school. Not specifically in this classroom, but this man didn't need to know that. 

"Um, am I interupting?" 

Kyubei wasn't shy, just uncertain and silly for making assumtions that this person was bothering Otae, getting in her face about whatever without shutting up. When putting it that way, Kyubei was irritated, but kept her cool as one normally would to avoid misconceptions and to avoid generally making a scene. And Kyubei's protective side really served as a scene. The image of her holding a sword in hand with Otae protected behind her was suitable and very fitting. 

"Ah, Kyu-chan...No, not at all. Tanaka-kun was just going over his ideas for the festival. He's in the student council, after all". 

"Yeah, I am. So, er...Who's your friend, Miss Otae? She's cute". Obviously Kyubei didn't exactly come off as intimidating in these clothes, but she made up her mind to be natural. She wasn't going to allow it to faze her. 

"My name is Kyubei Yagyuu. I'm a...first year, going on second". She stood as tall as she could, kept her head high. She would never get embarrassed or flushed by being called "cute", unless it was Otae doing just that. Her resolve would weaken if that was the case.

"I see, and this is your classroom?" 

"Yes...". 

"Oh, I'm sorry, Kyu-chan. I just came in here to pick up the schedule that your class representitive borrowed. I'm going to photocopy it for visitors". 

"I don't mind, Tae-chan. If you asked for permission then I see no reason for you to apologise, especially to me". 

"Per-...Oh, shoot! I forgot to ask Miki-san about it...Ugh, I'm such a scatterbrain. Tanaka-kun, I have to leave, sorry. I totally forgot about-". 

"N-no, it's alright, Miss Otae. Continue. But maybe afterwards you'd like to help me plan the festival later? I was thinking a coffee from the vending machines or...". 

Trying to get close to Otae...It eas frustrating...and it hurt. And there wasn't much Kyubei could do unless Otae said no and this guy persisted. If she said... 

"No, sorry. I've already made plans with Kyu-chan after this. Maybe another time?" 

"Of course, sure...Although if we're discussing the fesitval, it should be during the week. But I have cram school and-". 

"We'll...figure something out. Bye, Tanaka-kun". 

"Yeah! See ya. Nice to meet you too...Yagyuu-chan-". 

"-san, if you will. Yagyuu-san is quite enough, please". 

"Alright. It was very nice meeting you".

Otae was the one to eagerly lead the way out of the classroom with the schedule in hand, yet Kyubei left empty-handed. She had no assigned duty yet and...she held curiosity and no answers to Otae's behaviour. Not for long, anyway. 

"I'm really happy that you showed up just then". She muttered this rather quietly, just enough for Kyubei to hear. "That man had been yapping in my ear for far too long, and I was raring to slam my fist to his jaw". And she said it with such a smile too...

"I see. Good thing I stepped in. I had a feeling he might have been bothering you. I could kind of tell from your body language. You always smile like that when you humor people". 

"You know me so well, Kyu-chan. But...right now I'm surprised by you. You do look cute, Kyu-chan. Those clothes suit you". 

A blush. It spread like wild fire across Kyubei's cheeks; red hot on her skin. And of course Otae's sweet words were the cause of it. But that smile... 

"Uh, we should...go to the copier, right?" 

"Yep. C'mon, if we get our jobs done for today, maybe I can have coffee or tea with you instead". 

"I'd like that".

Otae had a more sincere smile. She wasn't exactly humoring Kyubei, but was simply being honest. And that brought some light into Kyubei's emotions as they walked in this quiet aura. There remained unease, but also hope. With a deep breath, Kyubei relaxed a little. She was always more relaxed around Otae than anyone else. Having Otae by her side like this left Kyunei's heart at ease, although her mind persistently raced on today with thought and concern. She didn't let it get to her, though. It'll be fine. The one thing she could tell herself right now...It'll be fine. Her decision, as of now, had not changed. 

... 

As the day went on, Hijikata slowly began to realise how Gintoki felt every single day that he was at home for work. Well, truth be told, he realised this sooner when he was stuck in bed with nothing to do but sleep. The apartment itself seemed so small, considering how much time Hijikata had spent temporarily living there. Nearly a whole week. A drag-it was a damn drag, but on the other hand he wasn't alone. At some point, when the nest had cleared out, Gintoki invited Hijikata to the sofa for a whole day of watching drama series on DVD, as well as eating comfort foods and snacks. A pillow lay under their feet, and under that was a comfty foot stool. Hijikata hugged a hot water bottle, and Gintoki hugged him with one arm, his own hot water bottle in the other. Ice packs lay across their foreheads and the foul, but relieving, cold medicine worked its magic on their immune systems with a serving of green tea to wash it all down. This was the most comfortable they had been all week. A shame they had to get up eventually to use the bathroom or prevent the pins and needles from killing the blood circulation in their legs.

Even in silence, they felt this sort of comfort, mentally. Watching a drama series from the early 2000's would have been somewhat sad and dull without someone there to discuss it and maybe laugh about old clichés and puppy love romance. Wait, this was a drama series, wasn't it? Having Gintoki there to hold him close and pet his arm..Hijikata felt at peace, and could easily take his eyes away from the T.V screen just to rest his head on Gintoki's shoulder and choose to fall asleep this way. 

"Quite comfty there?" Gintoki asked almost jokingly upon seeing Hijikata's head rest on his shoulder, but he received a quiet hum to affirm that. "You look tired. Wanna fall alseep for a bit?" 

"Mn...N-no. I'm a little sluggish, but I'm not gonna fall asleep on you". 

"Suit yourself. But if you do, be sure that I'll be carrying you upstairs to bed". 

"Hah, you can try...So, what were you telling me about the Yagyuu girl?"

"Oh, right...". Gintoki had briefly informed Hijikata about Kyubei's situation. He didn't go into details, just that it was concerning. 

"She had feelings for Shinpachi's sister, didn't she?" He knew already. He was there the first time Kyubei showed up in their lives and attempted to "win" Otae over because of a childhood promise that should have been forgotten years before. 

"Yeah. Still does". 

"Jesus...Must be hard for her - for them both, actually. And I suppose we can understsnd to an extent, but you learn to live with it an move on. Look at us: we had plenty of issues up until now. Do you think the Yagyuu girl will get over it?" 

"If things don't work out in her favour, I sure hope so. If she continues to cling on then she'll keep getting hurt. But she's still in high school; plenty of time to learn and grow at that age. And she's pretty strong. Really strong, so...". 

"What do you mean "work out in her favour? Is she going to...to tell Otae how she-...?" 

"I don't know, but I'd assume so. She feels like Otae's feelings could change, but...I didn't want to get her hopes up, y'know. I didn't want to tell her that Otae would love her as a woman and not just as a friend. But I didn't want to discourage her either. It's totally up to them to decide what happens and whatever does happen...They'll have to live and move on, as you say". 

"I don't mean to sound like an asshole but I'm just being realistic here...I don't think Otae can give Yagyuu what she wants-I know that sounds weird, coming from me after you and I managed to get together, somehow but...I can't really see it. Can you? And I'd hate to think that what's she's planning to do will make things awkward and put a gap between them". 

"I agree with you for the most part, but I'll have to disagree with you on the end, there. Those two are inseperable, no matter what happens. At least now they are. I don't think Otae would distance herself from her friend, just because of a confession". 

Always look on the bright side...Gintoki maintained some optimism that their friendship would remain the same. And what if he was right? Otse wasn't the type of person to put a gap between herself and a good friend because of something like this. She stuck around the first time this happened and they became better friends than ever. 

"I guess. You know them more than I do, so I can't say much. We'll see what happens. Or you will, seeing as Yagyuu's been honest with you". 

Would she feel the need to mention the conclusion of her efforts? Maybe. Kyubei was strong, but Gintoki wouldn't know what to do if she came to him with tears in her eyes. He couldn't tell what would happen. It wasn't his place to intervene any farther than this, than being told about the situation. But he hoped that Kyubei could get through this, whatever happened. And it felt like she was being hasty-that is if she actually planned to confess to Otse today. Maybe she wasn't thinking it through. Or maybe...Maybe she had waited enough. 

"Haah...". Hijikata sighed, his body growing heavier. 

"Are you gonna sleep now?" 

"No, Gintoki". Hijikata was quite firm about this. "I'm awake. I'm...awake. I'm not gonna fall asleep...". 

How he was keeping his eyes on the T.V yet still using Gintoki's shoukder as a pillow, Hijikata was trying his best to stay awake and aware. Before it fell, Gintoki grasped the ice pack on Hijikata's head. Warm, of course. With his other hand, the arm around Hijikata's back, Gintoki pet his hair softly and provoked a cute little sigh as Hijikata snuggled in. So, so unbelievably precious. Was he falling asleep this time? Giddy towards the precious sight leaning heavily against his body, Gintoki took a moment of advantage to do something odd and sweet at the same time. He pointed his index finger to Hijikata's cheek and gently pushed his finger into the mask and the soft flesh. 

"Hijikata...". He whispered, up close, into his hair. "You asleep?" There was a groan, and it seemed clear that Hijikata had transported all conscious thought into dreamland. And how cute he looked. "Fuck, you've gotten cute. If you don't cut it out then I'll do unspeakable things the next time you-". 

"Don't even think about it". Nope. Still conscious. Srill as serious as ever

Looking at this, at how comfortable they were...It was almost as if Gintoki should feel bad about his fortune with romance. But, realistically, he couldn't. Kyubei was in a totally different situation. He explained to her himself how their friendship would keep Otae from wanting a much deeper relationship. If anything happened to ruin that then how could they remain friends? It was...inevitable. The outcome was plain sad and inevitable. But at the same time...It could be good for Kyubei. It could be good for her to let go and explore elsewhere. To be blunt and honest, Gintoki couldn't imagine any other outcome to Kyubei's confession. Maybe by accept herself as a woman, their friendship would deepen but...Was there really anything more? And Gintoki wasn't going to get up and run after Kyubei before it was "too late". All teenagers have to grow, even if...Even if they get hurt at some point. 

... 

There wasn't much handed out in terms of jobs around the classroom. Mainly, it was painting banners or helping out to store the food items bought for the "noodle shop". Kyubei still didn't have a job for the day itself, but she hoped that it didn't involve waitressing. The dresses being made-by hand-were excellent and well-done but she couldn't imagine herself wearing something that cut down to her knees with frills and an apron around her waist. She was delicate enough to fit in one; that was said by the designer herself, but Kyubei still shook her head, apologised and said that she couldn't fill that role. Yeah, she felt more suited to staying out of the loop and out of the classroom.

"Ah, Shimura-senpai, you're here...". 

Kyubei turned her back from her assigned task at the calling of Otae's name. She didn't realise Otae was still in the class. As a senior, she may have offered to help out the other classes. Not surprising to Kyubei. No matter how tough and ruthless she appeared, Otae was kind and selfless at heart. A bit narcisstic, but still kind. Or was that a mis-matched pair of traits no matter how you word it? 

"Yes, I'm just helping out here. Everyone's in such a rush they forget how fun it can be setting everything up. That's what it was like when I was a first year, at least". 

"Yeah...Oh, right. This is your last culture festival, isn't it?" 

"...!" Kyubei was outside of the conversation, listening in curiosly as she worked. But the reminder struck a cord that left Kyubei still. Her last...When had she forgotten? 

"Uh, yeah, it is. Such a shame. I'll honestly miss coming here next year. But I won't be too far away". 

"Eh? Really? I thought you would study outside of Tokyo? You seem qualified to go anywhere you want". 

"Trying to get rid of me?" 

"Ah! I never said that, Senpai! I just-". 

"I'm kidding. Don't take me so seriously. But, as I was saying, I want to be closer to home, and to my brother before he graduates. He'll always need me here until he's old enough to go wherever he wants". 

"Ah, Shinpachi Shimura, right? The weirdo in the Otsuu fan club?" 

"Yes, the weirdo in the Otsuu fan club-running it, actually". Because of home, because of Shinpachi...Were those her only justifications for staying? "So, did you need something?" 

"Ah, yes! Sorry...Um, do you mind giving us a hand in the auditorium later? Everyone already has their hands full with studying or their own assigned jobs, so...". 

"It's okay. I'll help". 

"Really...?!" 

"Yes, just give me some time to finish up here and I'll be right down at the auditorium soon enough". 

"Okay. Thank you, Shimura-senpai. You're a life-saver". 

Kyubei focused squarely on her task when the conversation behind her came to an end, and Otae's footsteps could by heard approuching among the rest of the noise and ruckus. She kneeled down beside Kyubei, apologising for the delay as she picked up a clean paint brush. Beating it in water, sliding droplets around the basin, she took to painting the banner with the chosen colours marked around each letter and pattern. As she normally would, she smiled despite being asked so much. It was odd how she didn't take to helping her own class. Then again perhaps they didn't need it. Quite a few seniors were assisting other classrooms today. 

"It'll all be worth it when it's finished, y'know". Otae sounded very reassuring. Was Kyubei making a bothered face? 

"I, I do know. I'm sure it'll be a fun event". 

"You'll have a couple more. You'll be a second year in April, won't you?" 

"Yes. It's kinda scary, but it's no different from when I moved up in middle school. I suppose the scariest thing was...how people would see me". 

"Well you're not in middle school anymore. And I thought you looked cute in a boys uniform". 

Otae did say that on the day of the entrance cermony-Kyubei's first entrance ceremony-but everyone else didn't say anything with words, but with their eyes. After three to four years, Kyubei had moved past all of that, especially now. 

"Otae...How do I look...right now? I mean, wearing this...Does it look strange on me?" 

"Hm, not at all". Not for a second did Otae hesitate. She got a good look earlier, after all and was quite surprised. Yet she smiled very sincerely..."If you're looking for honesty, then I have to say that it suits you very well; really brings out your figure". 

So, from Otae's perspective, these clothes were fitting. Only once did Kyubei ever buy women's clothing, and she never knew how to feel about them until now. Maybe it was just as fitting as an over-sized hoodie and pants that were a little too big as well. 

"Do you think we could, one day, go out and buy more like this?" 

"Eh? Really, Kyu-chan? Are you sure you wanna buy more women's clothing?" 

"I think so. It looks normal, doesn't it? And it's not as stuffy...". 

"Kyu-chan, it's not about whether it looks normal or feels a lot less hot, it's whether you feel more comfortable, mentally. Do you feel comfortable wearing this?" 

"It's...not what I'm used to but, to some extent, yes. I do feel kinda comfortable". 

Unsure, baffled, but not visibly so. Otae wore a rare expression, like a friend would make a face at someone close to them who has changed into a totally different person. She was almost concerned and speechless at these alienated words coming from Kyubei. But after a moment of hesitation, seeing a serious, blank expression on Kyubei's face when she once again looked down at herself, Otae smiled and laid a hand on Kyubei's back. Their eyes met, and there it was: Otae's smile of pure sincerity. 

"If you do feel that way, maybe we can go shopping sometime? And don't worry, I won't decide what looks good or bad on you. That's your decision". 

"I know. It'll feel weird, but I want to accept myself as...a woman, Otae. This conversation isn't taking place in the right location, but I wanna say that...I want to be accepted this way. Physically, it's who I am. Mentally, I'm just me. Just...". 

"Kyu-chan...You're just Kyu-chan". 

"Right. I hope what I'm saying makes a little sense". 

"It does a bit. I see, then. Okie-dokie. Well, we'll figure something out". 

Kyubei could feel this stir in her stomach and a throbbing in her chest. She was even shaking, finding difficulty in her painting until Otae rubbed her back and smiled. It was as if Otae got a clear picture from Kyubei's body language and her words, although she didn't vividly say "I understand. I understand perfectly". Because she couldn't understand. She couldn't empathise, and she wasn't going to sympathise. If Kyubei was accepting her physical body as female-by her own choice-then all Otae could do was support her as a friend. Thinking about it, that's all it really was. 

When discussing this with Gintoki, he was realistic and honest with words. He didn't show uncertainty or sympathy in his eyes. He was just telling the truth, giving his insight on the matter with an open mind. It felt weird to think about this again. Only this time it felt more official, that Kyubei would face Otae with an open heart and say "this is who I am, and I know you can accept me this way...But can you love me for that?" Sounded ridiculous, didn't it? Kyubei wasn't getting cold feet, and she wasn't frantic or in a state of panic over this. Whatever happened would be the end of it. Yet one outcome was clearly more plausible than the other. And at the back of her mind, Kyubei understood this. Yet she still couldn't keep quiet for much longer. 

...

"Got everything you needed?"

Naturally the big, trainee cop carried those bags like they were empty, over his shoulder and in his other hand. But only because he was carrying rolls of thread and rolls of material. Kagura was stuck with the tubes upon tubes of paint and brushes for banners and display. He did this on purpose, didn't he? Asswipe... 

"Uh, yeah, I think so. I only recall the list from memory since those bitches took it, but I think this should be enough to say I contributed". 

"I can understand the paint, but why do you have to pick out thread and cloth material?" 

"One of the senior girls makes costumes for the culture festival. She spent about a week measuring everyone for stuff like stage performances and café costumes. She's really good too; draws the constumes beforehand in every last detail, aru". 

"Can't imagine you doing something like that". 

"Of course not, duh. I'm terrified of catching my finger on one of those sewing machines. I could hurt myself, but Kou-chan does it so skillfully". 

"Mm. I suppose...A couple people at college know how to do that stuff-women and men. I don't show interest, though". 

"Right. You study law, don't ya?" 

"I'm surprised you're showing interest". 

"Huh? I, I'm not really. Just asking...". 

Since when was the China Girl this awkward? And this was awkward. Cringey, tasteless, out of Okita's comfort zone and hers. A group of girls with sparkly eyes and "wow, you're so smart Okita-kun!"...He could handle, no matter how mundane it was. But this...This was so personsl and awkward and...so fucking new that he didn't know what to say. Cool and collected as always, but awkward and lacking the ability to speak. This was even worse because they weren't fighting it out. Where was the adrenaline and anger? None. Fucking none. So what could either of them say at this point?

"This sounds weird, but...This is what happened to Gin-chan and the Mayora, isn't it?" 

"What...?" 

"Y'know, they spent too much time together and they lost all energy to argue and fight, so they just talked instead. Gin-chan told me. It was like the "Daddy, how did you meet Mommy?" story that I heard when I was a kid". 

"Is that what happened? Hijikata-san didn't go into details with me. One day I was told that he was going out with Danna, I laughed thinking he was joking, then I laughed some more when I found out he was being serious". 

"You're awful...". 

"It is kinda weird, though...". Okita was quite serious. His expression and demeanors changed like a slide show on automatic timing. This wasn't as aloof, just earnest and thoughtful as he went off into his own fucked up little world. 

"Huh? What's so weir-". 

"Ah, crap!" 

From the store they were approuchng, to casually pass by--no...Upon having a proper look when hearing the annoyed cries of a child, they clearly saw that it was an arcade. Anyway, this child cursed from inside the open entrances were games were displayed close by. Both Kagura and Okita froze when he slammed his small hands against the display of buttons on a particular machine, and their eyes naturally found him and his friend backing away in disappointment. 

"Look, you tried". His friend muttered in comfort. "We should probably go before you waste all your allowance and your Mom yells at you again". 

"Fine...Stupid machine". The kids left the arcade, sulking and disappointed. That wasn't unusual. As far as they knew, all kids were sore losers. 

"Looks like they were trying the claw machine". Okita pointed out, his eyes glued to the machine stored in the corner, right by the doors. No...Kagura knew where this was going. No. 

"And? Most people think you can win at that game, but it's fixed. They make everything impossibe to grab and, or move". 

"Sometimes. If you think I'm inviting you for a game-". 

"No way! I don't wanna bond with you! I don't wanna get friendly likd Gin-chan and the Mayora did!" 

"I know. Calm down, China Girl. But just so you know, I know a few ways around it and-". 

"Nope! You can't get me to challenge you either, aru! Are you crazy?! Do you really wanna be friendly with me?!" 

"Can you shut up for five minutes? Geez...If you're gonna be that way, then fine. I won't show you how to get stuff". 

"I don't care to". Seriously...No, seriously. Why was he...acting like this? It was totally beyond Kagura's comprehension-and maybe even his. Confused, broken or just moronic-there was something wrong and Kagura was beyond finding out. But it was rare. This was very rare, and it would seem like some sort of trap to make a fool out of her or something childish and of the like but... "Do you really wanna play the claw machine?" 

"Why not? I have plenty of free time, and watching you fail miserably could be fun". She should know by now that this guy was beyond change. Yet she couldn't deny the boredom of helping out around the school auditorium for the rest of the day. Time could fly by if she went along with this little game, but didn't play. 

"Sure, you're right. Why not? But you can show me tricks and I'll watch". 

"Suit yourself, China Girl".

There were other people taking shelter inside the arcade from the cold to warm their fingers around machines and games; teenagers or young children with too much allownace money to save, mostly. Okita was in college, so you'd think he felt out of place but his height and stupid baby face didn't attract attention of those who were clearly of younger age. He had a childish, spoiled brat side to him so he went into the arcade unfazed and approuched the claw machine openly as he searched around his pockets for his wallet, or perhaps just loose change. When he came across it, he took a second or two to examine the machine and the stuffed toys inside. There were many, compact into this transparent box, made up of all different shapes, sizes and appearances. You probably wouldn't find such cheap stuffed animals in any ordinary toy store, and the machines with the good stuff were stored in Akihabara. 

"Okay, so...". Okita began, rattling his change around in his fist. "The tricks are pretty simple. Any child can pick them up if they've spent a lot of their time in front of these things. It's not that hard if you know how the claw works and what toys are more plausible to nab. Like, er, the toys right there that are closer to the chute and aren't as tightly crushed together". 

"You've spent a lot of time in front of these machines, aru? That's kinda sad...". 

"In Yokohama, I never got to try these things out. Wasn't allowed outside of the dojo. So when we moved to Tokyo I earned an allowance and spent a shitton of freetime on claw machines and arcade games. Sucked that I had Hijikata breathin' down my neck, telling me when we had to leave. But, anyway...". 

Okita slid the money into the single slot, hearing the money clank into the cylinder stored within the machine. Kagura came closer with watchful, curious eyes. He moved the joystick around, and with that the claw moved around too. He focused on the area revolving around the square shoot in the corner of the machine. His eyes darted around that one area, around the back until he seemingly focused on a target. 

"You sure you can do this?" 

"Course I can. Bet ya a taiyaki pastry that I can do it". 

"I said I wasn't gonna challenge you, asswipe! Don't force that one me just 'cause you're oh so cocky". 

"Oi, pipe down. I'm trying to concentrate". 

"I really wanna smack you one...". Kagura clenched her teeth, frustrated, but then sighed in defeat as Okita showed no sign of making a comeback. All she did was watch as the claw lowered on, what appeared to be, a long, stuffed snake or dragon. It was very gawdy and it looked childish, yet he picked it up as a target. But this was invevitable; the outcome. As soon as he picked it up and moved the claw, the stuffed reptile slid out from the claws grasp, landing a little farther from the chute. Kagura scoffed. 

"Wow...". She was kinda amused at his defeat. 

"I said I could do it. I didn't say I could do it on the first try. That kinda shit only works in anime. I'm not "Sakamoto" from "Haven't you heard? I'm Sakamoto", y'know". 

"Okay, there's two things that are clearly wrong with that statement: One, if you didn't say the anime, a lot of people would have been confused 'cause we have our own Sakamoto, not that Sakamoto. And, two, wrong timeline, idiot. This is supposed to be set in 2015. The hell you referencing a 2016 anime for?" 

"Shut it. I'm focusing". 

"Don't shut me up because you're breaking the forth wall! Moronic sadist!" 

"Shitty China Girl". 

"Man-child!" 

"Thunder Thighs". 

"Who's a Thunder Thighs?! I have a fast metabolism, jackass! Wanna go?! You wanna fight?! I'll stuff you and toss you into this machine! Then who'll be the Thunder Thighs?!" 

"Thunder Thighs are go~!" 

"Don't say crap like that in a monotone voice! It sounds weird! Oi! Are you listening-...?!" 

She wasn't aware, she wasn't as focused as the sadist was on this machine, and his target. The dull thud inside the chute woke her up from the anger and the insults that came with it. Shocked, she watched Okita bend down and actually pull out a stuffed anime from the chute. 

"Eh? Ehhhhh?!" She cried out, serveral pairs of eyes darting her way as her vocals exceeded that much. "Wha-...How?! How did you-...?!" 

A smug smile curved on Okita's lips as he held before Kagura a...different toy from what he originally grabbed. This was a teddy bear. But it wasn't a fluffy, cuddly teddy bear that you would find neatly displayed on shelves with an individual ribbon tied around its neck. This bear was fully white and quite limp, as if it was stuffed and sewn together by anyone of average skill. The eyes were unmatched buttons, as was it's nose. It's head was bigger than its body, hence why it's head hung limply behind its back. It was still fluffy, kind of. And it wasn't really creepy or weird. But it wasn't cute or cuddly either. 

"I was just going for an easy target. All I had to do was get that weird, snake thing outta the way before I could grab this. Pretty cool, huh?" 

"W-well, if you wanna give yourself that much credit...". Quite stubborn and proud, wasn't she? That softened Okita's smug grin just a tad. 

He looked down at the bear, and felt kinda foolish. He only ever felt accomplishment for winning one of these things when he was a kid. Then when he got too old, he gave the away. A sigh escaped Okita, and with whatever pride he had left in front of this China Girl, he held the limp bear out to her and received a rather puzzled response. Kagura didn't say anything. She just looked thoroughly confused. 

"Here. These things don't suit me, so...You can have it, if ya want". 

"Eh? Oh, what, because I'm a girl you think I like bears and that I'll love it if a boy gives it to me? Hah, as if...As if~, aru!" 

"I didn't really think of it that way". 

"Huh...?" 

"I just wanna get rid of it. Here, you can have it. If you don't accept it, I might give it to some other kid who comes here". 

He expected her hesitation to accept something from him. But his offer wasn't fixed or trapped-that was impossible since he only just received it. Yet she still stared at it like she didn't know what to do, contemplating whether to accept it or refuse. Her eyes lowered to the floor, and when placing down her shopping bags on the floor, she reached out both hands and accepted the bear without meeting Okita's gaze. 

"Uh...Thanks. I'll give it to Sadaharu for a chew toy". 

"You do that. It's yours now, after all". 

Almost-almost-unconsciously, Kagura held the limp bear to her chest, still refusing to meet Okita's gaze. Weirdo...Such a goddamn weird, doing something nice for once without blinking an eye. Or maybe he did, she didn't know. She was refusing to look up at his face. But she also refused to admit that she was embarrassed about receiving such a nice gesture from a boy-from Okita, the sadist, not a boy. Four years older, in college, generally the biggest dickhead Kagura had ever met, her hatred constantly boiling up with a passion to knock his teeth out. But right now that anger had cooled, and she faltered with some kind of feeling of ease that he wasn't planning to trip her up, metophorically and literally speaking.

"Coming, China Girl?" Okita picked up his share of the shopping bags, and walked past her and out of the arcade. Keeping the bear under her arm, she picked up a bag and stuffed the bear inside before picking both back up, following behind Okita. "We can still get taiyaki, if ya want. Have any filling you like and such. Promise I want sneak hot sauce in there". 

What a weirdo. By this point, Kagura couldn't understand his light-switch-like demeanor and attitude. It was confusing, irritating like a rash that only spreads the more you scratch it. The man was acting weird. So, so weird compared to how he usually smirked and brushed off her attacks. An odd, foreign feelings crossed her; the rash that won't go away by disturbing it. "Screw this", she thought, catching up to Okita's pace with a sullen expression. 

...

Not long until the day turned dark, earlier than it would in summer or even autumn. When leaving the campus, Kyubei looked up to the sky. It was dull and almost foreboding the snowfall to come later today. Distracted, she took a moment to realise that Otae was walking a little ahead unintentionally with her own gaze fixed to the sky before entering the street. Their jobs were done here. They had nothing more to do around their classroom's, and Otae had helped out enough before another senior took over and gave her permission to finish up for the day. 

"Haah, it's gotten much colder, huh? Maybe we should grab some tea on the way back". Her sighing emphasied the chill in the air as warm breath turned to frost and evaporated. 

"There's a tea shop not too far from here. We can sit in and just talk for a bit...". 

"Um, okay. Good idea. I'm a little thirsty anyway, so let's do that. Coming?" 

Kyubei followed by Otae's side with a heavy feeling hanging from above her like a storm cloud, and she grew more and more anxious whenever silence came between them. Kyubei had not taken her mind off of it, from this decision. She was calm, though. Unusual, isn't it? In reality, most would be internally panicking until the moment of truth. Kyubei was anxious, and at the same time she was trying to be realistic. When there was silence, there came philosophy and "what am I expecting to happen? Can I actually reach out to Otae this way?" She was unsure, but the scales weighed out of her favour-yet, even so, why? Why was she...still trying? 

"T-Tae-chan, um...At the tea place, I need to tell-". 

"Hey, Kyu-chan, why don't we go there to have some fun? This time of year's perfect for it". 

How quiet was Kyubei being for Otae to not hear her? With a smile and eager eyes, Otae pointed directly to a building in one of the more open locations of Tokyo. Several people entered that building, and once Kyubei got a good look she grew anxious, but for a different reason. About a year ago, construction was set up around one particular building in Tokyo that once held a swimming pool, mostly for competitions once or twice every year. It was torn down inside the building to be moved elsewhere for more space. And the business men and women who made such an investment decided to use the money leftover to build and ice rink for, basically, any time of the year-also for competitions once every single year in both hockey and ice dancing. But, right now, people entered this place for fun. 

"They serve tea near the stadium, where the audience would be. I don't think it'll be as good, but we can have some fun at the same time. What do you say?" 

"Ah! But-...I don't know how to skate...". 

"I'll teach you, if you'd like. Of course I won't force you, but it could kill some time until we have to return home". 

"I...". 

"I'll even hold onto you". 

"Really...?!" 

"Of course. Why do youlook so dumbfounded?" 

"Nuh-nothing...Um, s-sure, you can...teach me-as long as you, er...H-hold my hand-or whatever...I...I'd like to learn, as long as it's you teaching me, Tae-chan. I trust you the most, after all".

Perhaps she spoke a little too strongly there, as Otae stared in astonishment before...Before she smiled, and Kyubei relaxed.

"I'm glad you trust me. But that's what friends do, right? I'll hold onto you as much as you want. It's kinda like teaching someone to ride a bicycle, if you think about it. Let's go, then!" Otae took a hold of Kyubei's hand, pulling her along at a fair pace. Could take her mind off things for a while and allow her to relax. If it was with Otae...that thought was unclear. 

... 

The room was cold, but surprisingly less so than the outside. Otae was more eager to put on her skates while Kyubei stared out at the sickeningly pale ice rink before her with anxiety and fear that she had not felt in a long time. At least her mind was elsewhere. Otae was the first to stand, that motion sending Kyubei in a panic to tie her skating boots as fast as possible. But Otae was obviously planning to wait. There was no need to rush. 

"Ready, Kyu-chan?" 

"Ah, yeah...Uh...". 

"Need help standing?" 

"N-no, I can-uh...!" Otae pulled Kyubei up to her feet by her hand. Still grasping it tightly, Otae carefully walked Kyunei towards the ice. 

"Don't be frightened. We can take this one step at a time. If you were anyone else, I wouldn't have the patience. But, you know, I always have time for you, Kyu-chan". 

"Really? I, I feel the exact same, Tae-chan. I mean, I have time for you, always. And I-". 

"Try to relax so you don't slip. Although that is very sweet of you to say. C'mon, little baby steps". 

Otae stepped out onto the ice. The very sight, her fearlessness, was quite terrifying to Kyubei. With Otae keeping her balance, Kyubei also found herself stepping out onto the ice. Her legs trembled, and she struggled to keep steady for a moment until Otae wrapped an arm around her waist for more security". 

"Ah, Tae-chan...". Kyubei's cheeks were glowing bright red in this light, and her expression provoked a friendly, amused smile from Otae. 

"Just relax, and follow my lead. If you get scared, you will fall. Just slide across the ice, and go with the flow while maintaining some concentrating. Look ahead of you, all around you and don't let go of me. Okay?" 

"Y-yeah, I got it". 

"Okay, then. Let's go. Although you'll have to take the lead at some point". 

"Sure. I'll try...". 

Kyubei's heart was pounding for two different, and two very obvious, reasons. Was there any need for an explicit explanation? From how her legs trembled as the blades of her skates slowly slid across the ice, and the red growing across her cheeks from Otae's warm embrace, there was no need to spell out the reason as to why her heart was thumping madly against the walls of her chest. The more skilled couples or groups slid around them easily, around and around the rink's edges while holding hands, smiling, laughing with joy. And Kyubei was self-conscious enough to beleive that their laughter was aimed towards her, in this position with Otae, as a newbie on the rink. 

"How're feeling about this so far?" 

"Okay. I feel okay, just nervous". 

"I totally understand how you feel about the ice rink. I was nervous the first time a group of friends dragged me out to an ice rink. Well, we lived a little ways from the city so the closest thing we had to a rink was a frozen lake near the forest. Do you remember?" 

"Vaguely. I didn't spend much time outside, especially in winter".

"Oh, that's right. Your father kept you inside for home school back then, too". 

"...". 

"You've changed a lot since then". 

"H-how so?" Kyubei struggled to talk and skate at the same time, especially now that Otae was exceeding their pace and beginning to allow Kyubei more space to learn. 

"You've come out of your shell, for one. You've become so much more gentle and open. I love that about you, Kyu-chan". Otae held Kyubei's hand in a firm grip, leading her off to a turn in the rink, which Kyubei was not at all prepared for. "We're gonna try turning, okay? Take it easy". 

"Right...". Her legs were on the verge of caving in, yet Kyubei was not one to move away and give up out of fear. The experience was scary, but Kyubei was always a determined individual who aimed to see everything through until the end. 

"You always were a fast learner, Kyu-chan. I was quite awe-inspired when I saw you working away, ahead of me despite being younger. If we were in elementary school together, you'd be top of the class within a week". 

"I'm flattered, but I wouldn't say that, exactly". 

"I would. You could go to any college you want when you graduate". 

"I suppose". 

"Juniors say that I'm bright, but you're like a star when it comes to exams; shining brighter than anyone else in the examination hall. And I'm not just saying that for the sake of flattery. Plenty of teachers who know that we're friends have told me so". 

Encouraging, truely. Kyubei wasn't going to treat Otae's words as flattery-she would never do that unless she was indirectly insulting someone she didn't like or pretending to like them. With Kyubei, she was nothing but honest yet enclosed like a locked diary. They weren't so different. 

"...". 

"Wanna talk about something else? You seem quiet today". 

"I'm always quiet, though. I don't mean to come off as rude to you, Tae-chan. I'm just...". Kyubei smiled faintly at Otae, and their pace on the ice really slowed down as they wanted to avoid getting too distracted before falling flat on their faces, cutting their skin. So they stopped, and Kyubei made herself smile but it didn't appear forced. It wasn't forced, not necessarily. More reassuring to Otae. Reassuring her that... "I'm just not very talkative today. Sorry...". Well, that wasn't very reassuring, more concerning than anything. 

Otae did say before that Kyubei was more open, yet here she was in this reserved state of mind where she couldn't tell Otae anything. And anyone could see that something was wrong, and she needed to explain. Not like Otae could pry or make a big fuss over it, though. 

"Would you like to sit down?" 

"Nah. Let's keep skating. I think I'm getting the hang of it". 

Otae managed a smile with Kyubei's. Whatever was wrong, maybe it would be okay to try lightening the mood until Kyubei was ready to open up. She pulled Kyubei along gently, encouraging her to move her feet along the ice as if she was shuffling across the ground in big, smooth glides. Tense and anxious, Kyubei clung to Otae's arm and was carried along the ice part-way as they avoided the other people as best they could. They managed, and when Kyubei built up some confidence there came more natural smiles and quiet laughter as this activity wasn't as nerve-wracking. 

Otae brought Kyubei into a spin around the center of the rink. They joined hands, turning carefully sround and around smoothly. It created more anxiety to pound in Kyunei's chest, but then there was the thrill and the laughter. As they stared at eachother with these smiles, everyone else was blocked out from their minds. Not in a sense that the two girls weren't paying attention, but they only looked to eachother and focused on eachother the entire time they spun around in this one circle. 

"See? It's fun". 

Before Otae was a dear friend, learning how to skate with an open mind and a smile to pull her through the anxiety. Before Kyubei was the woman she loved most in the whole world, but was and...probsbly would always be a friend. In this smooth spin around the ice, they held hands for safety, laughed and smiled at the joy of the experience rather than staring into eachother's eyes like lovers on a romantic date. It didn't fit in Kyubei's mind, only her imagination. That was the case, and she didn't realise it in the moment of spinning and fun and laughter. She didn't think about it until the spinning stopped, and the moment that marked friendship had come to a swift end. But in her mind, even when the moment ended, Kyubei was sticking to her decision. 

Why? 

Otae was a friend whom Kyubei shared many memories with. Those memories stuck with them for years. Realistically speaking, Otae's thoughts on Kyubei had not really changed, but not in a bad way. This feeling, this decision had built up with flame and the knowledge of disaster like a volcano on the verge of erupting. So was this to vent these feelings and get rid of them? To move past them? To also see Otae as a friend-and a friend only? Maybe all of the above. From sharing brief memories, and from hearing what had said about her with positivity and kindness...Kyubei considered the outcome to be too pretictable. 

... 

Had they taken a detour unintentionally? Who knew. Kagura could barely keep her head on straight right now. But the tension was verehelmed this sense to be content with how the day played out, and that she was thankful to have spent today in the company of that reckless sadist rather than a group of stuck-up girls who pranced around in short skirts no matter what time of the year it was. If she had to pick, after today, she would have either gone it alone and bought all of this stuff or she would have, without much choice, picked Okita to help.

Speaking of which, he had run off to a nearby food stand that specifically made taiyaki while Kagura sat alone in the park, waiting for him to return. It wasn't that far off. If she turned and looked over her shoulder, she could see the stand and the queue that grew there. But her eyes were glued to her feet, the bags left in her care until he came back. Her stomach growled. Thinking about it provoked this turn in her stomach. Well, something was provoking her stomach to twist so tightly. Perhaps uncertainty towards the sadist's behaviour. He was the same person-nothing had really changed about it. He was just acting nicer than usual. And Gintoki always told Kagura to stay clear of boys who treat you like the most important person in the whole world. They couldn't be trusted. 

Kagura had heard many rumors about girls and boys alike in her class or at school in general who are treated like some sort of saint by another boy are girl. "You're special", "you'ee goregeous", "no one else like you", "you're not like the other girls or boys", etcetera. Kagura had never been told these things herself, and she didn't care to hear it. But when she talked to Gintoki about girls recieving those compliments he said "Ack, those boys just want one thing. They make a girl feel special and important just so they could dive into their panties later. It's stupid and immature, and girls don't need some perverted little assshole telling them that they're beautiful. If you thinm about it, those kind of guys don't respect the girl at all". She was wandering off topic, because Okkta wasn't like those "perverted little assholes". In a way, he was treating Kagura the same as always, but with a little more respect than before. She would do the same and play nice, but Kagura was taught by Gintoki to always keep her guard up around men, whether they were close-minded boys who clearly just wanted one thing, or sadistic men who just wanted to see her trip herself up in a more childish sense...Like Okita. 

Kagura finally looked up from the concrete below her feet, and to one of the bags slumping beside her among the others. Inside there was the ragged bear stuffed between two rolls of soft material. She reached in, rustled around the bag and retracted it from the plastic. She stared at it, into it's button eyes, caressing the fur with her thumb. The first she had ever gotten anything from a boy, and it was from the sadist. How bizarre. Too bizarre. But despite such a disdainful thought crossing her mind, she held the bear close to her chest without anyone around to see, or so she thought. When looking up from her knees, and from the concrete, her eyes met with a group of people walking around the other side of this circular space for benches and a frozen fountain in the center. This group was...a group of girls, all too familiar yet with easily forgettable faces. But Kagura recognised them, but they did not seem to see her...at first. She didn't have to say anything to them, and move on with the day. However, Kagura stared for a little too long in anger, and in silence. One of the girls met her gaze, whispered to the others and...they all stopped. 

They probably wanted to avoid Kagura, so this was more awkward for them. As they tried to walk away and pretend she wasn't there, Kagura mustered up the courage to curse and anger them herself. 

"Stuck-up bitches...". This. This stopped them in their tracks. Such a harsh insult struck a nerve. These were the kind of girls that would over-react if someone sit on them. Not just get angry, but really freak out and pull a shit fit in the middle of town. They were too proud to take insults. 

"Excuse me?" The leading lady, Whatsherface, spoke out while her groupies were silent and followed their leader with a scornfulmexpression towards Kagura. But they were still individuals to some extent. 

"Who the fuck are you calling stuck-up?" These were middle school girls, too. The reality was that even they picked up potty language from their parents in a drunken stupor. Gintoki swore all the time with alcohol in him, but was a happy drunk unlike the parent's of these assholes. 

"You guys. Who else?" Kagura wasn't afraid to stick up for herself. These guys couldn't exactly hit water if they fell into a boat, never mind attempt to throw a slap or whatever towards Kagura for being insulted. "What, did you buy stuff for the festival without me?" 

"What does it look like? We didn't want you tagging along like a fuckin dog on a leash. Get lost". 

"You get lost!" Kagura stood her ground, figuritive and literally as she tried to match the height of these girls in heels. They scoffed, noticing the bags with her. 

"What the hell? Did you actually buy stuff on your own?" 

"What a sad little shrimp". 

"Bet she didn't buy anything that Kou-chan wanted. Just a load of cheap crap. We got the list, we know what she wanted. So suck it". 

The girls laughed. And it wasn't forced or fake. They were actually giggling at Kagura, and it was so, so irritating to listen to. 

"Shut up. I still bought it-I still helped!" 

"Uh, seeing what you've got there, you probably shouldn't have. Cheap crap for a cheap little girl. I mean-ugh. Look at that zip-up and...Is that supposed to be a raggedy, old doll? What are you, an eight-year-old boy? Fuck off". The laughter again...It was so frustrating. 

"Holy crap. She does look like an eight-year-old boy!" So frustrating... 

Kagura was clenching her fists, the bear hanging from between her fingers. She would get into serious trouble, and beating the crap out of these girls was something Kamui would definitely do out of anger or just fun but...Was it worth it if she could shut them up? Clenching her teeth, Kagura prepared to run at them without holding back but- 

"Oi, I believe the little China Girl told you bitches to shut up, as far as I heard. Are you deaf or just stupid? Not listening to her is a bad idea, trust me. You ever been thrown into an air hockey table before?" 

All eyes directed their attention to the sudden presence. To the girls, this was nee and unexpected. To Kagura...She didn't know what to feel. 

"You...". Kagura tried to speak, but cut herself off as she saw that smirk across Okita's face, and a plastic bag in hand. 

"Listen, no one talks to her like that. I'm the one doing the teasing, so do the world a favour and fuck off". 

"E-excuse me?! How can you-...!". 

"I don't give a fuck if you're a dainty little princess. Talk to my favourite China Girl like that and I'll shut you up, you hear?" 

"What's with this guy?!" 

"Nothing. I'm just sticking up for a friend, that's all. Oh, and you really think a collge student's zip-up makes China Girl look like an eight-year old? Personally, I...". Okita placed his hand on Kagura's shoulder. To which, Kagura's cheeks warmed up, when he leaned in a little closer, still looking at the girls. "I think she suits it quite well". At least he didn't say something much worse, but she would have hit him for invading her personsl space had they not been in this situation. 

"Wha-...So, what, Kagura, you're dating collge boys?" 

"Eh...?!" 

"Shut it, I'm not dating her. A friend can't lend another friend their zip-up when it's cold? As if I'd date such a disagreeable girl. But she's still a friend. Don't be so close-minded. Dumb bitches". 

"Quit insulting us!" 

"Insulting? Nah, I'm just being honest. Look in the mirror for once and tell me then if they're meaningless insults, okay?" 

"Ugh! Screw this! Screw this guy! I'm leaving". 

"Good! You'd better leave the China Girl alone too. The only one allowed to tease her is me". 

"Whatever...!" 

The girls went on their way. The outcome was surprisingly peaceful, even on Kagura's end when Okita finally retracted his hand from her shoulder. So aloof, again. 

"Come on, let's sit down and eat. I'm freezing my ass off here". 

"...". Kagura didn't say anytning about the events that just occured. Honestly, she didn't know what to say. 

Side-by-side, the two said nothing after those brief events. Okita was busy rummaging around the plastic bag he brought until he pulled out a paper bag with a sticker labeled "sweet beans". 

"Here's yours. Hope you like sweet beans". Kagura looked at the bag and hesitated to take it. Her mind was a blank, so she took some time to process all of this. "What? I didn't add hot sauce or anything. Promise". 

She took the bag and from within she pulled out her sweet bean taiyaki. It was strange for Kagura to hesitate. She realised this, yet remained still as her stomach growled, the sweet smell drifting into her nose. To understsnd this guy you had to be a professional psychologist or something of the like. From the zip-up, to carrying her bags, to the bear, to this...How could she comprehend his actions without being a little suspicious or concerned by his unusual behaviour? Was it on a whim that he stuck up for her, or was it legitimate anger that he felt, smirking the whole time? 

"I really don't get you...". She muttered, the anxiety clear as it crushed down on her like a tidal wave in a storm. And Okita couldn't help but take notice. "You act really mean to me most of the time, so why are you being so nice now? Why did you stick up for me?" 

"...I can't stand people like that. That's all there is to it. They are sadists like me, they're just bullies who don't have anything better to do". 

"Well, what about everything else you've done? Has the Mayora really influenced you to become a gentlemen?" A joke. Just a joke, but...Okita hesitated and thought about it with a blank face. He shrugged. 

"Maybe...to some extent". 

"Seriously...?!" 

"Don't get the wrong idea. I never wanna end up like that asshole, but...I dunno. I guess it is the way he acts around Danna. It's strange...I always made fun of it, but it was never gonna change anything. Despite the insults, they're never embarrassed. They're just happy. I haven't seen that look on his face for a long time, but it looks like it'll last, y'know? Hm, he is pretty happy, huh?" 

"Yeah, but...What's that gotta do with you being nice to me?" 

"Well, Hijikata always lectures me to be kind to others, until he gave up. Seeing him with Danna, it made me think...Maybe it isn't so bad to...Ah, now I'm saying stupid crap". 

"And then his heart grew three times larger, aru". 

"Oi, don't make fun of me, China Girl. If it makes you feel better, I'll stop being nice to you". 

"Yeah, it kinda creeped me out but...You're not so bad when you try to be nice. The Mayora will be proud". 

"Uh, don't tell Hijikata. That'll be like a field day to him. He won't leave me alone". 

"Okie-dokie...I won't say anything". 

"Good...". 

"Unless you buy me another taiyaki next time, and make it chocolate filling". 

"I'm not made of money. Eat what you have, don't be ungrateful". 

With a faint smile, Kagura took a bite out of the taiyaki, and the first thing to reach her tongue was the sweetness. It was...sweet, and only sweet. Okita didn't appear awkward or shy, just aloof. He was always so aloof, never faltering under anyone's eyes. Maybe you could call this moment an exception. 

"I'll walk you home, if you want. Besides, you can't carry those bags with such puny arms". 

"Pff, whatever. I'll work-out more, then you'll see, aru". 

"Hah, that'll be entertaining". 

"Weirdo...". 

"Twig Girl". 

"Oh, so it goes from Thunder Thighs to Twig Girl?! You're like a child". 

"Says you". 

It wasn't so bad to see him acting aloof and civil instead of acting like the corrupt asshole that he is most days. Should she thank Hijikata's influence on him as a gentleman to Gintoki? Maybe, maybe not. Okita wasn't easily swayed by other people, so perhaps he wanted to take a change of pace. Who knows? Even then, Kagura couldn't figure him out at all. Best to leave it as it is. He could return to normal the very next day, whatever normal was in his dictionary. But this was something to take in for a bit, and take appreciation in his kindness. 

And then the sadist's heart grew three times larger... 

... 

Snowfall had finally reached Tokyo from a dull, afternoon sky. Each flake was pure white and oh so pretty in the eyes of the two girls still walking around the streets, heading home at an easy-going pace with seemingly no need to rush. There was still plenty of time. Right? They came to a bus shelter somewhere down the road eith their paper cups of hot tea, made from the stand in the ice rink stadium. It was warm, and comforting in such cold weather. And for a while they wished to stay and watch it fall. Hopefully it would lighten up soon.

"It's so beautiful out here, isn't it?" Otae was mesmorised and couldn't quite take her eyes away from the snow. So pretty and delicate, like cherry blossoms. Pure, white cherry blossoms. 

"It is. If only the sky was a little brighter...". 

"Mm, true. Wow...This is why I love living here in Tokyo; at night, when it snows, you can look out and see the whole city light up even the snowflakes. We didn't get much of a view at the dojo, but it was still pretty during the day". 

"Absolutely. Couldn't agree more. But, sometimes, if you were lucky, you could see the stars. From my window in the old house, you could. I would stay up later than usual and just stare at the sky". 

"Haah...I could never leave this city, y'know? Doesn't matter who tells me I could explore and do other things, I never want to leave. The grass may be greener elsewhere, but Tokyo and a little ways outside of this has always been home to me. Always". 

"I feel the same, but, Tae-chan, you...Look, I won't tell you how to live your life, but it could be nice to go somewhere else for a better education. You could go to Sapporo, Osaka, anywhere you want". 

"Hah, I said the exact same thing about you, Kyu-chan. You have so many goals to live up to-like your father's business. One day you could actuslly run it, but you know you won't fet there unless you reach higher. It's up to you". 

"It is. And I want to study in Tokyo when I graduate. There are plenty of good schools, and I would never leave because it's my home too. I haven't had the best memories involving my father and the children who bullied me...Plus the day I lost my eye is best forgotten, but...You made up for that, Tae-chan. You always gave me happy memories. You always...". 

Kyubei was rambling, and she realised only after she went on about Otae. Stopping herself form speaking anymore, and potentially out of line, Kyubei collected her hands in her lap and stared down at the ground as snow gathered around her feet. Neither really spoke for the next ten or so seconds. At this moment, under this shetler, protected from the snow and the brunt of the cold, cold wind blowing south...Kyubei wanted to vent. Her emotions and feelings were ready to pour, even if that meant they came out in tears and heavy sobs. But nothing of the sort happened. Otae was awfully quiet, yet she smiled faintly. 

"Kyu-chan...You really have a hard time holding back your feelings at the right time, don't you?"

Kyubei's hands clapsed eachother, and her eye widened, her other remaining shut under her eye-patch. Her shoulders tensed up, but her expression relaxed a little. Otae was...quite sharp, huh? 

"Tae-chan...You...You're perfectly aware about my feelings, aren't you?"

"...". Otae didn't respond at first, as if she regreted speaking so openly about Kyubei's feelings. But knowing Kyubei, seeing how she behaved today... 

"Aren't you...?" 

Otae had...had a hunch. Yeah. A hunch, and some knowledge on her best friend. It wasn't difficult to figure out that she still held these feelings in her heart.

"Sorry, Kyu-chan...I...I shouldn't say this, but you can't hide things like that. I know you too well". 

"...".

"And I feel bad because I know keeping all of this to yourself for so long must have been so hard. I don't want you to hold back anymore...". 

"...". 

"Please say something, Kyu-chan...". 

This was much harder than Kyubei had originally planned. All was decided before she thought about going back and trying again with a confession. And it was perfectly clear that things were collapsing before Kyubei's feet. Maybe...As much as it hurt, maybe that wasn't the worst thing. Let's face it, Otae could read her like a book. But Kyubei wasn't angry or upset. This just clarified that Otae was totally out of her reach. These words weren't expressed explicitly, but Kyubei could see it from a mile away. 

"It's okay, Tae-chan. I can't hide my emotions in front of you. I can't hide them well, I mean. So I'll say it properly and...I don't really know what you'll say. I have a feeling, but I still need to say it...I do still...lo-...Haah...I love you, Tae-chan. I still love you, very much...". Kyubei trembled. She was shaking quite badky, staring down at the ground with clenched fists in her lap and tears brimming in her eye. 

Otae didn't want to see her cry over this. She couldn't stand it so...With that, Otae scootched over and held her friend in comfort, as a friend, as a good, good friend. She rubbed soft circles into her back and pet her hair kindly, tears close to brimming in her own eyes-provoked by the sniffles coming from Kyubei. 

"It's alright, Kyu-chan. I...I love you, too, but...Haah, it's so hard to say it...I hate being the one to hurt you like this...". 

"It's...alright. You're not hurting me at all, Tae-chan...". 

"...?" 

"I get it. I get it...It's because we're friends, isn't it? Because you don't want to ruin what we already have. I know that's how you feel yet I...Yet I felt that you still needed to know. I feel...so foolish dor it now. So silly...". 

"Kyu-chan, it's not silly at all. Don't say that...". 

"...". Otae was trying her best to comfort her friend. And Kyubei could sense that Otae was hurting too, just from seeing Kyubei in such a state. With a deep breath, Otae spoke once more, to be perfectly honest with her best friend. 

"Kyu-chan, it's...It's not like I haven't thought about this sort of thing; dating you, having a much closer relationship with you and...And it sounded wonderful, but...You're far too dear to me, and most relationships don't work out the way you want. If I were to lose you over anything like that, I'd never forgive myself. I want to be friends for as long as possible. That's reasonable, isn't it?" 

Kyubei nodded, sniffling, ridding herself of tears that might try to fall from her eyes and stain her cheeks. They hd not fallen yet, as she had hld back, sniffling and gulping down tue lumps in her throat. 

"It's okay. That's perfectly reasonable, actually. You've always treated me like a friend, and that's why it was so hard to tell you that I loved you in the first place. I saw how boys and Kondo acted around you and I never wanted to get in the way of that. I know you aren't like me, and I can't force you. No, I would never force you, Tae-chan...". 

"I know. I know you wouldn't". 

Otae hugged Kyubei tighter, chin resting on the top of her head. Naturally, Kyubei fell into the hug as well and wrapped her arms around Otae affectionately, but purely out of friendship and this exchanged feeling of comfort. They remained this way for a short period of time, still holding their paper cups of warm tea in their hands as they pulled away and, with her free hand, Otae made it clear that Kyubei needed more comforting than she did. Of course she did.

"I guess I didn't know what I was expecting from this, y'know. Maybe the whole truth from you, to clarify that I have no chance being with you on a romantic level. I'm happy being your best friend, but it might take some time for me to...fully accept things as they are and what they always will be".  

"...I hate seeing you like this. It honestly breaks my heart. And I'm sorry I can't give you what you want, but...". 

"N-no, don't worry. It's fine...I'll be fine. I just need a little time to adjust. I still want to be friends, Tae-chan. I don't want you to treat me any differently because of this". 

"Of course not. I'm happy to see that you're ready to move on, but...Will it really be okay?" 

"I'm not sure, honestly. But I wanna make the effort". 

Yes, it was tough. It hurt, even. But hearing the truth like this, seeing Otae smile kindly and feeling her warm, comforting embrace...Kyubei felt like things could finally go back to the norm' and stay as such, eventually. And she could move past this, find other things. Whatever those things were, she wasn't sure at all. When releasing these feelings out into the open, there was a sense of freedom that Kyubei had no idea what to do with. But for Otae...Maybe she could carry on normally and receive a confession from someone else. All Kyubei wanted was time in order to get over it. It wasn't going to happen overnight, just like the first time. But this could only be the last time she expressed her feelings and received an honest answer, set in stone for the rest of her life. Although exaggerated, that's how she wanted to keep it. It was scary, and it hurt, but this is how things should stay. Realistically, this was how it was supposed to stay...It wasn't Happily Ever After, of course...It was just...going to have to get better...

...

Together, they walked along the street, enduring the snow for a while until they would eventually return to their homes by nightfall. Neither girl said much in terms of their acceptance and agreement to just remain best friends for the rest of their lives. But there was always an awkward glance, and a shared smile before they reached a familisr point down the road and, for whatever reason (which became obvious to Kyubei very quickly), she stopped walking. Kyubei's gaze followed hers and they had come across a couple of vending machines along the path where a familiar face lingered around, saying goodbye to a few other men. To save guesses, it was clearly Kondo of the district police. He was saying goodbye to a few co-workers before turning to a vending machine for, what appeared to be a beverage. He was rattling around his pockets for loose change until he gave up and looked into his wallet. And by his facial expression alone, he had no change. 

Otae was shaking her head as if silently saying "what a bothersome man" in an amused manner. It wasn't like her to act that way towards the gorilla of all people, but...Kyubei saw it as a golden opportunity. Aside from sneaking into the house during the blackout a couple weeks ago, Kondo was trying his best to act kindly to Otae. He was nice to her. This was a good enough opportunity for them, and for Kyubei especially, to move forward. Kyubei intentionally gave Otae a very light shove from behind and gestured for her to move in closer and interact with Kondo. She turned to Kyubei, puzzled by her actions. 

"Kyu-chan...?" 

"It's okay. Go ahead. You have spare change, right?" 

"But-". 

"I have to head home anyway. Go help out the gorilla, okay? I know I'd be just as happy as him, y'know". 

Otae did recognise Kyubei's immediate willingness to move on away from her feelings by encouraging Otae to develop new ones. Not love, necessarily, just kindness towards the gorilla. He acted like a stalker at times, but behind that he just wanted to talk to Otae and show her some sort of appreciation. Maybe he just needed a chance. That was hard to say for most stalkers, but Kondo didn't hold evil or perverted intentions against Otae. He was trying to talk, interact with her, like her. 

With the encouragement behind her, Otae sighed and smiled at Kyubei before very hesitantly approuching Kondo with ease, but also slight caution. Kyubei stood back and watched as she slowly backed away from the scene. 

Upon closer inspection, even when wearing a winter uniform, Kondo was visibly freezing out here, and Otae was convinced to harmlessly assist. 

"Are you...having trouble finding change?" 

Kondo raised his gaze from his notes-only wallet to Otae as she stood close by, curious. He was baffled, but happy at the exact same time. Well, for a little while.

"Ah-Otae-san! Look, I didn't know you'd be here! It's not stalking if I didn't know! This is just pure coincidence and I-...It's pretty cold so I-". He was frantic. Maybe he didn't want to get smacked around again, especially in such harsh weather. But Otae managed a smile as he rambled on nervously, reaching into her purse to pull out an odd amount of change. 

"I have some change. Maybe you can buy one for me too?" 

"Eh? O-Otae-san...Are you sure? I mean...". Kondo stopped rambling, unsure of what exactly to say in such a calm, civil situation with Otae. But she was being kind. So wasn't it only right to accept with a thank you? 

"If I'm buying for both of us, then it's okay, right?" 

"I suppose...Th-thanks, Otae-san". Kondo took the change with a visibly trembling hand, unable to keep a straight face as his joy could barely contained. He ordered two teas from the machine, and Otae said nothing about already having a drink. "Umm...Haha, this has...never happened before. I can't believe you're...". 

"Being nice?" Otae questioned with a smile, taking her warm drink in hand. "I am nice. You're lucky I didn't kill you sooner for stalking". 

"Ahaha! Y-yeah, I guess". Her joke was quite terrifying. He'd be less surpsied if she was being serious, though. "So...Is it okay if...Ahh...I might be coming off too strongky but...Is it alright if I...If I walk you part-way home? I won't take you all the way to your apartment, if you don't want me to. Or you can say no completely, I don't mind". 

Otae hesitated. He was coming on a little strong with such an offer. But by now he already knew where she lived. He wasn't exactly a stranger, and as a cop you'd expect him to be respectful and not at all creepy with this. He wasn't. He was just offering, and not at all forcing her to go along with it. Right now he was like a teenager getting embarrassed over a girl in his class. At the thought, she smiled and... 

"Sure. But only part-way". She accepted. 

"O-okay...Okay. I'll make sure you get home safely. I am still a cop, after all". 

With a couple awkward nods, Otae leads the way in their walk, but after a few steps down the path she stops and looks over her shoulder in concern. 

"Ah, Kondo-san, you don't have to walk behind me anymore". 

"Right! Right! Sorry, I'm used to walking behind-ahem! So...What did you, er...do today?" He caught up swiftly, remaining by her side, trying his best to drop the stalking and to...Act normally, you could call it. 

It was the first time those two had really started a long conversation. And throughout, as they grew mor and more distant, so did Kyubei. She walked along her own road without turning back. It was for the best. Whatever Otae decided to do from her, it was for the best in her own interests. And it was time Kyubei found her own path on "what was for the best". She didn't look back, and only faced forward this time. And she kept reminding herself that everything was going to be okay, if not better. And the freedom washed over her, and it was refreshing and good. She wanted to embrace it and continue on, for good this time. This time there was no going back at all. To which, Kyubei managed to smile just a little...

... 

A long, tired sigh had entered the apartment, followed by the heavy rustling of plastic bags and the individual thudding of the items inside hitting hardwood floors. Kagura had come home at around dinnertime, dragging her tired feet across the floor when she managed to untie her shoes. The only thing she took with her on the way to her bedroom was the bear Okita won for her earlier, and his zip-up which was still being worn. He said a casual good-bye to her when they reached the apartment building before making his own merry way back to his own place.

The apartment was quiet, and Gintoki didn't show his face until he came out of the downstairs bathroom with rolled up sleeves and a curious expression. He sighed when he saw that it was Kagura entering the apartment. Of course it was. Who else would enter unannounced? He stayed by the slightly ajar bathroom door, arms crossed as he watched Kagurs drag her feet upstairs. 

"Hey, Squirt". He greeted. "Tired there?" 

"Uh-huh. Don't wanna talk about it". 

"Uh, you sure? Want me to make you dinner now?" 

At that, she stopped near the landing of the stairs and peered over the banister with a less exhausted appearance. 

"What can I have?" 

"Ah, whatever I can find. Hijikata and I were only gonna make some chicken noodle soup, but there's some other stuff there. I'm gonna go grocery whopping tomorrow, so...". 

"Okay, sure. Thanks, Gin-chan". 

"Oi, did something happen today? You look exhausted". Gintoki had only just noticed the unfamiliar stuffed animal hanging limply in her grasp. Of course he was going to wonder where she got it from. But, more importantly, he ask first and foremost why she was so tired. 

"I had to buy stuff for the fesitval, remember? It was heavy, and I've been walking around most of the day". When looking in the direction of at least four heavy-looking bags, Gintoki grew a little more curious. 

"By yourself?" 

"...". Clearly she was reluctant to say who it was. He kinda knew where this discussion was headed. 

"Kagura...?"

"I was with a friend who helped out". 

"What about the bear?" 

"Gin-chan, you shouldn't be nosy around a girl; it's rude". 

"I'm only asking. Kinda looks like some arcade prize". 

"How do you know?" Gintoki shrugged. 

"I was...in and out of arcades when I was in high school. I didn't go often. And I stayed clear of claw machines. Those things rip you off". 

"Not all of them. There are a few tricks to them". 

"Really...?" 

"Yep. Oki-...I mean, the sadist told me that...He showed me some stuff about the claw machines today-but that was it". 

Gintoki nodded along, getting a better picture of the situation. But he said nothing more in case she broke out of this state and went on a temper-tantrum. He couldn't be sure what was going on exactly, but he had a good idea. 

"Okay. Um...Why don't you rest for a while and I'll be having a bath before I bring up something for you to eat". 

"Thanks, Gin-chan. Ah, I know it sounds weird but I don't think I'll eat too much. The...the sadist bought taiyaki today and...He got me one too, so...Uh-...Is Sadaharu in my room?" 

"Uhh...Yep. Head right up. I'll be there soon". 

Gintoki sighed when Kagura made the rest of the journey to her bedroom. Pausing at the door, he felt odd. Were these the same people? Shy and reserved wasn't a part of Kagura's traits. Kind and generous was definitely not a part of Okita's traits. If she was with any old "friend" she would walk by and briefly mention it casually, and for it to be Okita...She was quite reserved, but came to admit that he did something genuinally nice for her. He entered the bathroom and gently shut the door as his thoughts carried him away into doing actions without thinking. 

"The China Girl's back?" Hijikata asked, kneeling by the bath with his hand cupped under the faucet and and rapidly running water. 

"Huh? Oh, yeah, she is. I'll be able to make dinner, soon, so...". Gintoki took a seat on the lip of the bathtub beside Hijikata who stared in puzzlement. 

"What? Did she say something to you?" 

"Not...really...Hey, do you know if Okita-kun's been talking to Kagura recently?" Hijikata's thought were just as puzzled when Gintoki asked such a foreign question. It was kind of out of the blue. 

"Uh, I don't know, honestly. He doesn't talk about his "social life", even if it involves the China Girl. Why?" 

"I dunno. I just...". First there was Kyubei and now there was this weird thing about Kagura and Okita being somewhat friendly, bonding over childish claw machines and taiyaki. He thought about it for a moment, and then came out with those thoughts to Hijikata. "Do you think...what we have can be some kinda...influence?" 

"What do you mean?" 

"Ah, well, y'know...There's that stuff with Kyubei-she came to me asking for advice and discussions about being in a same sex relationship. And I hardly spoke to her before. Then, all of a sudden...Hah, you know, I think we're having an influence on kids like Kagura and...maybe even Okita-kun?" 

"Sougo? Tch, no way". A firm argument with a shake of his head and a disagreeable smirk. Hijikata knew Okita very well, so of course he would deny the idea of Okita being influenced by a somewhat happy, content relationship. He was at the right age for that kind of stuff but his personality provoked Hijikata to shake his head and say "no way, not that guy". 

"Well...Now, she didn't go into details, but I think Kagura bonded with him a little today. Apparently they played on the claw machines at the arcade and he bought her some taiyaki". 

"Seriously? Holy shit...I...I try to be a role model for Sougo, but I could never imagine him being influenced by us and what we have. Maybe it's just this weird phase he's going through. Teenagers are weird like that". 

"Maybe. But wouldn't it be nice to think that you and I have some kind of effect?" 

The faucet creaked against steel as Hijikata turned the water off, feeling the pool with his hand just to make sure. All the while he was lost in thought, before shrugging. 

"I, I guess...We didn't have the best relationship in the beginning and now look at us. I guess it shows anything like that is possible". 

"Exactly. With Kyubei, I guess she wanted to feel more sexure about same sex relationships, even if we're not...gay or anything. And maybe those two kids can see that even the worst rivals can along eith some effort". 

"A lot of effort". 

Gintoki chuckled at that, mumbling and repeating those exact words only once as he scratched his head through his hair. Maybe...Justmaybe their happy relationship was an influence, a motivation for those kids to hold something similar. Maybe not a happy '"relationship" for Kagura and Okita, but perhaps a more friendly one instead. For Kyubei...Whatever happens with Otae, maybe she could find possibilities elsewhere when it comes to relationships. Not only had their relationship changed, it seemed, but many other people around them were changing and developing. And it all started with a kick in the balls and a couple of drinks, a long talk, awkwardness between two men and a tipsy kiss. Try making that into a sappy romance movie. 

"We should wash before the bath gets cold". Hijikata suggested as he stood and slipped off his sweater. 

"Easy there, Tiger. I don't-...Hah, I don't wanna get too excited while we're still sick". 

"And I thought you learned by now that two adults could take a bath together without doing anything...more". 

"Yeah, I know. I was kidding around. Now, move that ass already. It's cold". Gintoki held back from touching Hijikata's ass in fear of getting slashed with the metal soap dish. 

He sat back on the lip of the bathtub for another moment or two while Hijikata ran the shower, checking the heat of that water as well. No one could share the exact same bond that these two had. What Gintoki had with Hijikata...They described it more with actions than words, and at some point Gintoki began to wonder if that was enough. Men don't say what they think or feel, because words don't appear to necessary in their eyes. But as Gintoki told Kyubei when she came to visit in the morning, he informed her that she would regret it if she left everything unsaid. Ironic, isn't it? A lot of the time, Gintoki conveys his thoughts through actions and Hijikata often does the exact same thing. It wasn't a bad thing, but words were needed as well. They needed to express what they thought clearly on both sides: both actions and words. 

For Kyubei, actions were never enough to convey how she felt. For Okita and Kagura, all they ever conveyed were actions instead of words. Perhaps...Perhaps their relationship was encouraging them. Even just a little bit. But they had a whole lot of growing up to do on their own. Just like Gintoki and Hijikata grew out of whatever they had before. 

"Coming, Gintoki?" 

"Yeah, yeah. Hold your horses...". 

Or perhaps there were some things you can never move on from...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay. Okay. Okay. I honestly don't really ship OkiKagu. I've always thought of it as a love/hate, platonic thing, alright? But I had so much fun writing their scenes in this. It's not as fun as writing scenes between Gintoki and Hijikata, but I still giggled to myself and it felt good to have them open up to eachother a little and act more civil (they take after their guardians, don't they?)
> 
> I know this wasn't some major GinHiji fluffy, ground-breaking stuff that I've been doing for the last couple of chapters (as I have seen in the kind comments people leave), but I didn't want to leave any characters out. I wanted to conclude some stuff with Kyubei and Otae, and add development to Okita and Kagura's relationship, so I hope that's okay and it was just as nice to read although Kyubei didn't get the happy, perfect ending that she always wanted. She's moving on, as Otae is with that little hint about Kondo and such. I don't ship any of them necessarily, but I still think it's nice to give characters something to help them grow and create relationships. I was tying loose ends.
> 
> I tried my best to convey the most realistic side of Kyubei's feelings, and what she already knew. Yes, she might as well have kept her confession to herself but it was more something to say and officially move on from in the end. Because, honestly, she knew what to expect and wanted to be sure she could move on. Couldn't have made that any more clear.
> 
> Anyway, the next couple of chapters will revolve around other characters. Again, tying up loose ends that need to be put in a tight knot and left alone with satisfaction in our minds. Then more GinHiji. And my god will it be wonderful. Thank you so much for reading. I promise, HijiGin will stop being sick next chapter. They'll be fine. Bye-Bye!


	31. Old Friends, Old Memories, Different Year, Changed Men

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To the story-based stuff. Yes, it's been a while since I've written story stuff, but here it is and I hope I've...conveyed what I wanted to convey clearly and that it's fitting. You'll see what I mean, I guess. Anyway, hope you enjoy because we're getting into the real story of this fanfiction.

A kiss, a "see you tonight" and the heavy feeling that this was ordinary. Gintoki left his apartment that evening and said goodbye to Hijikata in the hallway before parting ways. It was an odd time and day to go out when a date was already organised with Hijikata inside his apartment over wine and a marathon of a particular T.V series bought in a box set. They agreed to do it tonight, then all of a sudden Sakamoto called and asked Gintoki if he wanted to go out drinking on the one night in which he was off from work. Over the phone, Gintoki was reluctant and would have said no if Hijikata didn't say that it was okay, he could go out for a bit if he wanted but he couldn't come back drunk. This wasn't a difficjlt choice to make as Gintoki wanted the whole night with Hijikata-a healthy Hijikata who was no longer sickand who's anemia finally cleared up after nearly two weeks. Dinner, wine, sofa, T.V series, a little kissing and then "how about we move to the bedroom" in a spine-chilling whisper that usually got Hijikata in the mood.

But they managed to organise something, seeing as Sakamoto didn't want to just hang out with Katsura but with "Kintoki" as well, cue laughter, cue repetitive correction from "Gintoki". "Gintoki", dammit! They would meet fairly early inside the bar-Gintoki would have only one drink, talk to the guys, and then he would leave to spend the rest of the evening with Hijikata. Meeting these guys wasn't a drag or necessarily annoying. In fact it was good to see them altogether outside of work. Often it reminded Gintoki of the good times when Takasugi was around. Things do change, however. And not all of those times were necessarily good. A hundred other words existed that could describe Gintoki's memories in that little apartment, much farther than where he currently lived. So many odd memories both fun and shitty. Things change, and nothing lasts forever...

.... 

Ten Years Ago...

... 

By now the quiet atmosphere of the room went unnoticed. Maybe not totally silent, what with the odd television channel playing at a low volume due to constant nagging and a kick to the side. But this was only a small reason as to why the three occupants of this room were far from starting a conversation any time soon. In front of the T.V there was Gintoki, which wasn't surprising. Free time equated to sitting in front of different, but few, television channels with whatever food in front of him, depending on the time of day and the circumstances that followed. He had no desire to sit at the table and eat, distancing himself from the television while also having to sit with the straight A emo, studying textbooks and notes quietly. That would be Takasugi. And off in the corner, embracing the quietness of the room for just a little while, was Katsura, left with his share of chores. 

The household in which they lived was a small, convenient apartment, close by to the red light district but quite far from the rest of the city,where all the taller, official buildings were, including one or two high-rises that these boys didn't plan to ever stepped into. But their neighbourhood was tiny in comparison. There were streets, a long stretching walkway that covered the majority of them, and one road that led straight into the city and towards the train station. The apartment itself was made up of two rooms: the main room, which was essentially the living room, bedroom, dining room and kitchen rolled into one. The kitchen was built in after the entranceway in a fairly narrow hallway, the bedroom was three futons laid out at night and the living room was floor cushions gathered around the one, small dining table, being used as a kotatsu this time of year. 

They weren't unhappy. They were more comfortable. They adjusted almost immediately when discovering possibilities outside of some old, run down squat in Osaka were abandoned kids go to survive. After a few years of survival, they managed to live comfortably after their pre-teens, in middle school. Obviously it was hard to get up to this point, but it could be much worse. 

Slurping strings and strings of soba noodles, Gintoki's eyes were glued to whatever was on T.V for the day. It was dull, but he needed to be occupied somehow. 

"Oi, Gintoki, instead of laying around on your lazy ass, why not help Zura out?" Gintoki lack of activity and motivation was distracting in Takasugi's eyes. But he couldn't complain about that since Gintoki wasn't doing anything that was annoying. His idleness was a pet peeve, an odd pet peeve. 

"Can't. I've got work in...". Gintoki glanced to the alarm clock on the television's table, which they usually set to go off in the morning. "An hour and a half". He continued to slurp soba, focusing on the screen once more. 

"Then shouldn't you be getting changed? You can't exactly go to work in a tee-shirt and boxers". Karsura sighed, hanging clothing up on the dryer inside due to the snowfall outside. 

"Yeah, I got it. Lemme finish eating and I'll go. It's not easy working a shift, although I doubt Takasugi can understand, bein' Mr Scholarship and all". 

"Hey, I earned that! Don't go mouthing off when you don't even go to school". 

"Don't need it. I went to school already, graduated, now I'm working my ass off to help keep us afloat". 

"Four hours a week does not count as working your ass off". 

"Uh, ten hours. I work two jobs, Asshole. So I can't help around the house tomorrow 'cause I'm working both shifts. Sucks for you". 

"You-...!" Takasugi shot up from his seat, angered by this guys attitude, again. 

"Guys! Stop fighting!" And, once again, their "Leader" stepped in to stop the conflict before someone got hurt. The passifist of the household, you could say. "Look, we all work just as hard to...stay afloat, as Gintoki said. Fighting will not help. Now come on. We've managed for years, so...Let's keep it civil". 

"...He's right". Takasugi agreed with a sigh, slowly sitting back doen before his books. "It's not worth the energy...". 

Gintoki rolled his eyes, standing up with his empty bowl in hand to walk towards the kitchen and wash up. At least he wasn't totally lazy, otherwise Takasugi would have a shit fit. 

"I'mma go get ready for work. I'll be back later tonight, so don't wait up".

Gintoki grabbed clean clothes from a set of drawers staitioned beside the bathroom door before entering, the sound of the lock clicking leaving the rest of the apartment in silence. When finishing off his chores, Katsura finally sat down at the table, rubbing the sand out of his eyes. Takasugi couldn't help but take notice of the dark circles with a single glance before going back to his notes. 

"I don't envy you, Zura. But I can certainly respect your hard work". 

"What're you talking about? In this house, we all do our part, not just me". 

"But recently it seems like you're pushing yourself. You have school too, remember?" 

"Of course I remember. How could I forget? It doesn't bother me as much anymore. Things were much harder in the beginning". 

"...I wonder what Sensei would think if he saw us right now. He'd probably lecture us with a smile about half-assing our job as a team and...". 

Takasugi's words traioed off into silence. Fkr a moment he wondered if Gintoki could hear this, and so he ended his sentence there before going any further than needed. A sensitive topic, for all of them, yet it was to come up eventually. Ten years. It had been ten years since... 

"I don't know what he'd say but...". Katsura placed his hand on Takasugi's shoulder, smiling faintly. "I know he wouldn't want you to make that face when talking about him. He's still out there, somewhere, Takasugi. He wouldn't want us to lose hope". 

"In some ways, you remind me of him. It's strange...". 

"I just paid attention to his lectures, and they rubbed off on me, that's all". 

"Psh, I paid attention too. I always paid attention".

There remained some sort of tension when talking about Shouyo-sensei, this feeling that they had lost him forever in a fog and everyone was too scared to go out and find him. This wasn't the case at all, yet they were still weighed down by guilt from that awul night ten years ago; the fire, the men taking him away, the fact that Gintoki was the only one who got a goodbye...It haunted them in so many different ways, as much as they knew that he wouldn't want that. 

The bathroom door opened up when the silence came through again. Finally Gintoki was wearing proper clothing; a sweater and slacks to fight off the cold. 

"I'm off. Again, don't expect me to be back until late". 

"Sure. Be safe out there, and wrap up, okay, Gintoki?" 

"Sure, sure...". Gintoki slipped on his shoes at the entrance, nodding along as Katsura's unneeded advice. "I don't need ya to be my mother, Zura". He slipped on his coat, as well as a very familiar red scarf around his neck. "See ya tomorrow morning, I guess".

There was nothing much more to say. Not like he would be gone forever. 

Winter was not the most likable season in Gintoki's eyes. When leaving for a night shift he was caught up in the dim, narrow, hallway and staircase of the tenements. Such an old building was only worth crumbling to the ground to make way for bigger, better architecture. But the government...The lousy government currently running the country didn't go near this particular area, and spent more money on high rises and suits for their over-sized wardrobes. The thought was enough to provoke an irritated sigh whenever Gintoki got a good, long look st the nasty interior of this shitty building. Despite that, they called it home. Nothing could compare to Shouka Sonjuku, but the apartment was affordable, and cosy once you put aside the rest of the place. 

A harsh shiver ran under Gintoki's skin when stepping straight into a gust of winter wind, making its rounds across the small streets that covered the area. He tightened his scarf and stuffed his hands straight into his coat pockets when beginning his walk to the usual bus stop down the street. The wind shrouded his vision using his puffball hairstyle. Running his fingers through his bangs, Gintoki clicked his tongue. 

"Dammit...". He whispered under his frosted breath. "Getting a hair cut's gonna be a pain in the ass". 

By now, the woman working the salon was sick of handling his mop. It couldn't be straightened, it couldn't be even, it couldn't not be a perm-head. Although, some girls like the puff ball; said it was fluffy like a cats fur, when he conditioned it properly. There was much more on Gintoki's mind, and he couldn't help but chuckle when realising that the main thought circulating his head was his hair. 

"God damn...What would you think if you saw us now, Sensei?"

Shouyo had...always thought the world of his students. Gintoki doubted that this would change, even in these dark times when he was god knows where, having a harder time than these three boys. What they had was freedom and opportunity, but Shouyo-sensei...Gintoki couldn't bring himself to push his darkest memories to the forefront of his mind. There was enough of that in sleep. The waking world was not meant for such guilt-ridden thoughts, because they would drag him down into the same state that Takasugi was in, for a while. Shouyo-sensei didn't want that. None of them did. 

Snow continued to drift with ease down to the ground below, pale and tiny like sakura petals in summer. And Gintoki had to stop himself to take in the sights, if for just a moment. And then...He returned to the present. 

... 

Present Day... 

... 

Cold. Fucking cold...He shuddered, sniffling, ridding himself of this brief daze in order to continue his walk. If he got sick again...But usually people don't get sick twice during winter. Once the first cold has passed, there's rarely any more to be a burden. Seeing the familiar buildings and signs set up at cross-roads, Gintoki became aware that he didn't stall too far from Ikumatsu's place, where they decided to meet up. Stuffing his hands into his pockets, Gintoki continued to make his way down the street. The dark, cold street. He did look forward to a warm serving of sake-and only one-and then spending the whole night in a warm bed (or couch and blanket) with Hijikata whether they were wearing clothes or not. 

Pulling the hem of his scarf up and over his nose and mouth, Gintoki's gaze also looked up from the pavement before his feet, looking towards the street light up ahead. A figure was crouched under this light, and by the looks of things they weren't alone. Getting closer and closer, Gintoki wasn't that surprised to see that it was Katsura petting a cat in the middle of the street. Possibly a stray with fleas or whatever, but this guy didn't give a damn. If it was small and fluffy, he loved it immediatly. 

"Yo, Zura. A little distracted there?" 

"It's not Zura, it's Katsura. And yes, this beautiful young woman caught my eye the moment she crossed the street". Woman? "It's a shame, she appears to have someone in her life". 

"What the hell are you talking about? Did you and Tatsuma already have a few drinks without me?" 

Katsura picked up this cat without any clearance to do so. That was evident when the cat mewled and stretched out its arms as it longed to be put back down on the ground. As she was lifted from the ground, there was a very timid clinking noise coming from the little red collar around her neck. That pretty much explained what Katsura meant. 

"Isn't she beautiful? So well groomed and fed, yet she's allowed to wander around outside and-...Are you wearing glasses?" Katsura stopped himself on purpose when his gaze met with all four of Gintoki's eyes. It was...strange to watch Gintoki push up a pair of glasses, with fake lense, looking awfully suave and surprsingly cool in them. 

"It's, er, a bit of a fashion statement. Patsuan got them for my birthday, and I thought I'd try them out. It's funny: Hijikata even said they looked good on me, so...". 

"You do! Is that weird?" 

"A little bit. But, hey, they feel so comfty on the bridge of my nose and between my ears. Plus, I can actually see 'cause of the lense. Anyway, what were you saying about the cat?" 

"Oh, yes, of course. Do you think she might be lost?" 

"If so, you'd better check the tag on the collar. Some people carve their address into those in case their pets run off somewhere". 

"Good thinking". Katsura flipped the tag, and flipped it again as if the previous side would change. But, there was nothing. "Hm, strange. There's only a name: Kitty". 

"Wow, really original. The owner must be so loving, naming their cat something so simple and letting it wander out at night. I may be lazy and I half-ass stuff, but I take care of Sadaharu like he's my own dog. Technically he isn't but I'm left with most of the chores to take care of him". 

"Then what should we do about her? We can't just leave her, and she's enjoyed my company so...". As he said these words so comfortably and casuslly, "Kitty" was using Katsura's cheek as a scratching pole. No reaction. What the fuck... 

"Zura, I'd think she'd rather be in a crazy cat lady's company than yours". 

Displeased and perhaps frustrated with being picked up by a complete stranger, Kitty pounced from Katsura's grasp and dashed off through Gintoki's legs and down the street. Their immediate reaction was the watch her go, but to freeze in place from the sudden events. She was certainly fast. 

"Ah, do you think she'll be okay?!" 

"Zura, don't worry. Jesus...Cat's are tenacious creatures. She'll be fine out there. Who knows, maybe she'll find her owner by herself". 

"I hope so...". 

"C'mon, let's get going before we make Tatsuma wait anymore. Although I doubt he's in a rush".

Knowing such a laid-back guy like Sakamoto, maybe moreso than Gintoki, there was no way he'd be sitting at the bar, tapping his foot against the hardwood floors, ranting on in his head about how he had so many other places to be tonight. He organised the damn meeting, and sounded as enthusiastic as ever. He wasn't going anywhere else. He had all the time in the world. And it wasn't the first time he dragged them out to a bar at whatever time was most convenient for him, and sometimes everyone else. Nothing changes with that guy. 

... 

"Ahaha! I know, right? Really, Ikumatsu-san, you'd make a much nicer assistant. Of course, Mutsu does good work and she pulls my ass outta trouble, but she's such a shy woman". 

"Shy? I dunno. I met her once before, when she, well, dragged your drunk ass outta here, and I wouldn't say that she was shy...". 

Ikumatsu didn't expect to do anything but nod along to Sakamoto's idea of a conversation. Only when responding with full sentences did the bell at the entrance ring out and new customers arrived just in time before Sakamoto started going into the "so you're still single?", one-sided conversation. Saved by the bell. Saved by Gintoki and Zura, to be exact. 

"Hey fellas". Ikumatsu greeted them, receiving the same as per usual with friendly smiles. "Just take a seat by the bar and I'll be with you in a sec-...Uh, Gin-san, are you wearing glasses?" 

Gintoki threw up his hands and rolled his eyes as if he'd heard that question a million times today. 

"Yes! I'm wearing glasses! Does anyone have a problem with that?" 

"Er, no? It just seems...different. Don't you usually make fun of...Ehh...Shin-Shinpachi-that's it. Don't you make fun of him for wearing glasses?" 

"Okay, I don't make fun of him, for one. I'm pointing out a fact that his character is ninety-eight percent glasses. And, well, I guess this is my way of knowing how it feels, huh?" He said as he casually adjusted them on the bridge of his nose. 

"You say that, but you look...strangely cool. In fact, they suit you". 

"Well, don't expect me to wear them all the time. They just make me look more official. Shoulda saw the look on Shinpachi's face...". 

"What does your boyfriend think of them?" Ikumatsu smirked, draping a dish towel over her shoulder, asking with genuine curiosity and this cheeky glare in her eyes. 

"Okay, okay, take it easy with your wording there. If you really must know, Hijikata thought that...they looked kinda sexy, so...Can we drop this now? I would like some booze, if you don't mind". 

"Hah, "sexy" is all I wanted to here. Have a seat and I'll take your orders, 'kay?" 

... 

Ikumatsu came by with a big tray balancing on one hand. Individually she set out their orders with a clear memory of who ordered what with no need for notepads or anything of the like to bring it all back.

"O-kay, one bowl of ramen, plus a rum and cola for Sakamoto. Honjozu-shu sake for Gin-san. And, last but not least, a bowl of soba for Katsura. Plus your-ahem-margarita. Enjoy". 

"Another girly drink, Zura?" Gintoki had to raise the question with a smirk as he took a sip of sweet sake. 

"It's not a girly drink". Katsura, of course, objected, again with a furrow in his brow. "Don't define gender with alcoholic beverages. I just like fruity drinks, is that a problem?" 

"Well...No, but it's kinda weird seeing a guy drinking something so colourful. Right?" 

"Tatsuma's drinking a cocktail, too. Does that make him girly?" 

"Rum and cola isn't girly". 

"C'mon, Kintoki," Sakamoto slapped Gintoki on the back, being the one to sit inbetween the both of them. "Leave Zura to his preferences. Alcohol is just alcohol. Hell, I used to drink fruit cocktails all the time. It's no big deal". 

"Thank you, Tatsuma". Katsura then proceeded to drink, avoiding the given straw as Gintoki would only tease him again. 

"Fine, I won't say anything. I'll leave Zura to his fruit and tequila". 

Gintoki sipped his own beverage, savouring it as he did only plan to have one, as he clearly informed Sakamoto. Still the man had to ask in all his curiosity. 

"Kintoki, why not have another drink? What's stopping you?" 

"Unlike you guys, I have a date tonight. I don't wanna come in wasted while Hijikata's making preparations". 

"Oh, that's right. You are dating a man...Still feels kinda weird saying it, ahaha". 

"I'm happy. Shut up. Go away". 

"Hey, haha, don't get the wrong idea. I'm cool with it but...I dunno, you always used to be the one talking to girls whenever we went to a bar, aside from me. You guys would disappear to a love hotel somewhere and you wouldn't come back until morning". 

"Yeah, well, I'm too old to be playing around with young women in bars. At least I feel too old. That's not the only reason, though". 

Gintoki had put a full stop there as he continued to sip his drink, to which Sakamoto grew more curious, which was weird. You'd think he wouldn't show any interest in Gintoki's relationship with Hijikata, a guy. And Sakamoto was as straight as they come. If anything, he was always the first to ditch the group to join a couple of girls at their booth to make flirtatious comments and jokes. 

"Oh, what are these "other reasons"?" 

"I told ya: I'm happy with Hijikata. It isn't just about physical stuff with him it's...talking and just being us. It's-Eh, why the hell are you so interested anyway?" 

"Just curious. I've never known a guy to be in such a happy relationship, especially with another guy. And when it's a friend you can't help but feel a little weird. Not like I don't accept you guys, but...y'know...". 

"Yeah, I got it, Tatsuma".

To think Gintoki would ever discuss this sort of thing in front of his heterosexual buddies and...Zura. It was just as weird for him to talk about it to other guys, who he had known for years. Honestly, he wasn't pissed that they thought of it as being a little weird, even now. He felt weird about Katsura's alter ego, Zurako, but nobody stopped him from playing dress-up every now and then. 

"If I could see any of you guys running off to the back of the bar with another dude, I'd say it either be Zura or...Maybe Takasugi-shi". 

"Well, I don't". Finally Katsura got into the conversation, although it was a case of defending himself. "I like unfaithful women and fluffy animals. And I certainly can't imagine Takasugi ending up with a man, so clearly you don't know him as well as me and Gintoki". 

From what Gintoki knew, Katsura didn't know a hell of a lot about Takasugi either. In fact, Gintoki had only just learned about his little affair with his editor. And thinking about it drove Gintoki to take another sip of sake. Unimaginable and just odd...Seriously, how often did he top a guy at least three or four centimeters taller than him? 

"Man, it feels a little strange without Takasugi-shi drinking with us. I remember we all used to go to the nearest bar-". 

"Because you dragged us there...". Gintoki added, sipping more of his drink. But Sakamoto continued, ignoring that sentence. 

"And we'd all sit at the bar, and I specifically remember you and Takasugi gettin' into fights over the same girl or over some other petty thing. Good times...Still have no idea what happened between you guys but that isn't any of my business, huh?" 

"...". 

No, of course he didn't know. He wasn't there. For the most part, Sakamoto was out of the loop and one day arrived out of the blue with a big grin on his face and a pitch that changed their lives, for a while. If it was for better or worse, they weren't sure. Although things were better now, back then it was like walking across an unstable bridge above a rocky cliff; you either take the risk and make it in the end, or you meet with fate at rock bottom. And, sometimes, Gintoki recollects the moment where they just made it to the other side, alive and safe...But at what cost? 

... 

Nine Years Ago... 

... 

Akihabara. The place which was crowded with people, but remained somewhat underground from the higher-ups that looked down upon the kinds of people that dwelled here. Anyone that didn't look like an eighteen-year-old virgin was worth every flyer, handed out in a meager effort to campaign and...hope the world hadn't gone completely mad. Maybe it was a fruitless effort to allow someone else run the government and the country, but anyone was better than the bastards trying to get re-elected. It was a small effort, and it was a start, at least. As soon as the opportunity arrived, these boys didn't hesitate to sign up. But this...

"This feels like a waste of time". Takasugi sat back on their little table, covering the posters made for this campaign, grumbling with a sour look as he had given up on his efforts. 

"Wow, for once we agree, Takasugi. But what else can we do? Tch, as if a couple of flyers are gonna change the people's minds". Gintoki was just as prepared to sit on his ass and take a break from all of this. But Katsura protested to their lack of motivation. 

"C'mon, guys. This may seem like a waste of time and it may seem like it won't bear fruit, but...There really isn't much we can do but spread the word. It might help just a little, as long as people don't vote for another corrupt party". 

"Like people don't get enough of that...Agh, Takasugi, c'mon, get up. If I can do this, so can you. Little rich boys like you get away with murder these days". 

"I'll murder you, bastard". 

"Guys, quit it. This isn't helping".

"Well, well, I guess I'm not the only one trying to keep Sada Sada Tokugawa from being elected again. A lot of people much prefer his nephew Shige Shige, buut he's isn't any older than us, it seems. I always say that a lack of experience comes with a lack of responsibility. Aha ahahahaha!" 

Either of these boys would have spotted such an obnoxious looking character approuch the stand, not to mention the fact that he helped himself to a flyer from the table. Only then, when his pressing tone of voice reached their ears, did they face him with no will to speak. His grin was the first recognisable feature, as well as his over-enthusiasm and hair that was curlier than Gintoki's-but less obnoxious than that affixed grin of his. And what was he laughing for? What was so funny? 

"Uh, excuse me...?" Katsura stepped up to question this guy, cautiously. He might have been insane. "Did you run away from your carer? Is he or she around here somewhere?" 

"What're you talking about? The only person I'll have taking care of me is a loving girlfriend-but relationships go both ways, right, fellas? Ahaha!" 

"What's so funny, bastard?!" 

"Gintoki...!" 

"I'll knock his teeth outta his fuckin' mouth!" 

"You barely even know this guy! What did he do?!" 

"Zura's right, Gintoki. This guy's done nothing...wrong. He's just weird and very annoying". 

The weirdo lingered around the table, laughing for no obvious reason. Was he trying to make friends or something? He looked back at the flyer, sighing, easing the enthusiasm by eighty percent, yet still smiling. 

"Man, y'know...I don't mean to intrude and tell ya how to run a campaign but this-This won't change anything, fellas". 

"Told ya". Gintoki uttered, crumpling up the few flyers left in his hand before tossing them towards a nearby trashcan, only to miss horribly. 

"Listen, as a man of trade, I know what grabs the attention of ordinary people. I've been learning for years from my father, god rest his soul. When he left his inheritance I dedicated my whole life to studying his trade. And, well, I know it like the back of my hand". 

"Oh, I see. So we've got yet another richie rich boy living off of daddy's inheritance and mommy's breast milk. Just another snobby little rich kid ain't that right, Takasugi?" 

"The fuck was that, you bastard?! Who're you calling a "snobby rich kid"?! And, besides, I'm not getting my father's money until I'm twenty, even if I am disowned!" 

"Haah? You thought I was talking about you, Takasugi-kun?" Gintoki pulled an overly-exaggerated expression of pure confusion before hiding a fake grin behind his hand. "Ohh, you thought you were rich? Or, wait, I didn't know you spent your life sucking your mom's tits. I thought you were poor like the rest of us! Hah! Hey, Zura, did you know that Takasugi was a little rich boy? How cute-kyah!" Takasugi thrust his foot against Gintoki defensless crotch, at full force. Gintoki went down like a sack of bricks in a lake. "Ack! Owww...!" 

His knees hit hard concrete before the rest of his body did. He cupped the area, whining, weeping and trembling in pain. To add salt into the already open wound, Takasugi threw multiple sharp kicks around his ribs, arms and legs. Made a decent show for bystsnders who walked by. 

"Ahaha! Aren't you guys just the best of friends? I love it!" There was absolutely no sarcasm in that statement, was there?

"Um, so, anyway...". Katsura was potentially very tired of breaking these two away from the fighting, so instead he remained focused on this...nameless man. "Er, as you were saying...Mr...?" 

"Ah! It's Tatsuma Sakamoto! Pleased to make your acquaintance, Mr...?" 

"It's Kotarou Katsura". 

"Wow, that's a mouthful. I think I'll just call you Zura. Ahaha!" 

"You too?! It isn't as difficult to say as "Gintoki Sakata" or "Shinsuke Takasugi"! Gimme a break!" 

"Well! It's great to meet you all. I hope we can all get along". 

"Sure...". Takasugi was panting, bearly listening as he laid out several kicks against Gintoki to vent his anger, for several other occassions, not just this particular situation.

"Great! Now that introductions are over, I was wondering if you fellas wanted to know about this business I'm setting up, temporarily. With it, I feel like, if we work together, we can all finally take down the corrupt government trying to run this country". 

All eyes, all ears perked up at Sakamoto's suggestion. He said something so serious with such a bright and cheery grin on his dumb face. He was being vague, at the moment, yet they were all interested. This man...They didn't know him all that well, but Sakamoto was a good guy. They say the road to hell is paved with good intentions, and, well, this "business" of his was best described that way. Even right then, staring at him with an open mind and great interest, they considered their downfall by just hearing him out. But when hearing about his idea, his goals, his ideal methods...They couldn't say no. 

"Why don't we talk somewhere more private? I know a great place, somewhere that's out of sight from anywhere else in a city like this". 

... 

A little out of their comfort zone? Yes. In such a colourful place with pink and yellow table cloths, as well as tiny cakes and tiny waitresses in tiny maid-like outfits, the guys weren't exactly regulars. Definitely out of their comfort zone? Absolutely, oh, yes they were. 

"Soo...". Gintoki looked around, patting his knees with tension and uncomfortsbility clear in his body language, like he was compacted inside a small box. "We couldn't have gone anywhere else?" 

"No way. They just opened this place, and I wanted to see it for myself. I hear that, in a few years, they might create something more official with girls waitressing in real maid outfits, refering to customers as "master" or "mistress". It's only rumors, but we do live in Japan. Anything can happen in this country, know what I'm saying? Ha hahaha". 

"Hah, I doubt it". Takasugi scoffed, taking a sip of his tea. "Women have much more respect for themselves than to work in places like that, right?" 

"Yes, I can't believe some men would enjoy something like that. It's disgraceful". Katsura scornfully agreed, nodding, but... 

"Welp! I saw panties". Gintoki was not even paying attention, following frills skirts with his eyes, his ass parked on the chair still. "Ah! There they are again". 

"Gintoki, knock it off". Takasugi was getting second-hand embarrassment watching this guy go all googley-eyed for frills and the undergarments beneath. Fucking pervert. 

"Aw, lighten up, Takasugi. If anything, I thought you'd like this kinda place. Feels like home, huh?" 

"Wh-what're you talking about?" Takasugi grew tense under Gintoki's suggestive grin. 

"Oh, you know...Maids and such...You like seeing girls in frilly aprons, don't you? Calling you master? Haha, wow, you're sick". 

"You're sick! I have no interest in stuff like-...Like that!" 

"It's okay, man. We all have fetishes. I'm a nurse kinda guy myself". 

"I don't wanna hear it! Zura, back me up here". 

"I quite like married women, actually". 

"Zura...?!" 

"I'm a maid kinda guy. Grew up around one or two in longer skirts and sweaters. Ah, they were much better than my mother at times. Ahaha!" 

"Who wants to hear about your creepy fetishes?! And why would you laugh at something like that?!" 

"Hahaha! If I don't laugh, I'll cry! Ahaha!" 

"What a sad group! Why the fuck do I hang around you people?!"

Takasugi buried his face in his hand with a sigh, longing to leave these guys and allow them to go down the drain of pitiful existences. Wow, that was a mouthful. The emo kiddy tendancies would return in no time flat with this kind of thinking. 

"Any-way...". Sakamoto returned to the main topic at hand, taking a sip of soda before proceeding. '"About this business...". 

"Finally...". Takasugi groaned into his hand, raising his head eith caution to this guy's words. He didn't want to hear anymore nonsense. "Don't waste our time. We're already gonna get fired for leaving our post". 

"Relax, Takasugi". Gintoki sat back in his chair, picking at his ear with his pinky. "Wasn't much of a job, anyway. At least where I work, I get to talk to nice, interesting women and not teenage, acne-ridden otakus". 

"As I was saying, I'm a man of trade, as I may of mentioned before. I believe all trade should be fair between both parties". 

"And what has this got to do with the corrupt government running the country?" 

"I'm getting there, Takasugi-shi, okay? The hard-working men and women of this country pay their dues: taxes, health care, etcetera. All to give the government funds in order to make this country better. Well, as sources have told me, the government...Well, currently, they aren't doing shit. They build high rises for their own benefit, fund private care instead of public hospitals-only a small percentage goes into those places-and they don't try to renovate the tenemnets or orphanages". 

"Tell us something we don't know". Gintoki flicked his finger casually, ridding his pinky of whatever came out of his ear. 

"I will. The thing is, fellas...". Sakamoto leaned in, lowering his voice all of a sudden. "We-me and my sources-believe there's so much more to it than that. What I'm trying to do is set up an investigating business to bring down the corrupt bastards up top. If the rumors of their corruption are true then we can take them down a peg or two, maybe even convince the public to protest against them as candadites in the next election". 

"How're you gonna do that, exactly?" 

"Like I said: we're doing investigative work. It's kinda like underground reporting. We plan to publish reports on corrupt activity in the government within several magazines that are issued monthly. If we do that anonymously, they can't track us. Of course we can't go as public as newspapers, not yet anyway. There's a lot going on behind the scenes. There are even rumors that the man himself, Sada Sada Tokugawa, used a very beautiful woman in the sex industry as a part of his plan to get to where he is. If we have enough evidence, we can expose him. Hah? So, what do you guys think?"

It seemed well-thought out. Crazy and risky, but interesting and...It was an opportunity of some sort. 

"Sakamoto, was it?" Takasugi spoke, clenching his fists in his lap. "There's someone we...There's someone who was...taken away by government for a political crime he did not commit and-". 

"Takasugi, what're you-...?!" 

"Lemme finish, Gintoki! Just-...He...He didn't do anything wrong, and we think that...There's more to it, that there's more to the story than what those bastards are letting on. That they arrested this person to save their own skins...Do you think-...Do you think we can save this person if we expose them? Will they let him go if they don't have a choice?" 

Sakamoto couldn't possibly understand the pain and the desperatjon in those eyes, or the trembling in his words. With a naive smile, Sakamoto shrugged. 

"Maybe. Oh, yeah, they probably do whatever they can to get someone out of their way. If this...friend of yours is innocent of whatever he was accused of, we might be able to expose it and they might set him free". 

"...". There was some ray of hope in Takasugi's eyes, yet he fell silent. Maybe he wasn't sure about joining this business if he didn't know the outcome. But... 

"Are we gonna get paid? I mean, what kinda work do you need us to do? If it's hard work, we'll need compensation for our efforts". Gintoki sneered, rubbing his index and middle finger to his thumb, imagining yen in the thousands between them. His eagerness surprised Takasugi, and he was at a loss for words. 

"If I can put my skills to good use, I'll glady join in on your business. But it needs to fit around my schedule for school, okay?" Katsura, too... 

Deep down, it was obvious they wanted to join in for the exact same reason as Takasugi. They put on brave faces, ready to charge head-on into the conflict with whatever they had to fight with. Their enthusiasm widened Sakamoto's grin. 

"Alright! How about you, Takasugi-shi? You joining in too? I have enough money to pay you two months in advance. We have a lot of plans to make this business work. All we need to do is be discreet". 

Takasugi paused for a moment or two. But it didn't take a whole night to think it over. If it was for Shouyo-sensei...He nodded agreeing to join in and, hopefully, make a difference. That's why they were doing this right? 

"Yes! Okay, good start. This is a good start. We'll probably need more recruits, and I'll have to make some arrangements for resources and we'll need a hide-out of course...". 

... 

Present Day... 

... 

That's what it was all for...They weren't heroes-they couldn't change the whole world by issuing evidence and articles-not propaganda-into varies magazines around Japan. But with it they could make some difference. Nowadays the country was being run by the late prime minister's nephew, Shige Shige Tokugawa. It was safe to say that he was a good guy who actually looked out for everyone in Japan, whole-heartedly. Kagura was good friend's with his little sister, too. But there was uncertainty that there would be many like him in the future. They just hoped that the kid would make it to another election in a few years. 

In the corner of Ikumatsu's restaurant, Gintoki was occupied with the shop's phone in hand. With a single serving of sake running through his system, he asked for a phone call to Hijikata, to tell him that he'd be coming back to the apartment soon enough. For a few seconds he waited for the humming over the line to end, and the conversation to begin with the usual "hello?" Knowing him, he'd be more formal about it. 

["Hello...Toushiro Hijikata speaking"]. Yep. As formal as ever. He must have given a weird look when seeing an unknown number show up. He sounded skeptical. 

"Hey, it's me". 

["Oh, Gintoki, hey. Are you still at Ikumatsu's?"] 

"I am, just callin' to say I'll be on my way back soon". 

["Uh! Already...?"] 

"Yeah? Hah, what's with that reaction? Where are you?" 

["Getting a few things for dinner tonight. Not everything's set up so..."]. 

"How much effort are you putting in? It's just a movie-well, T.V series-kinda date, so I doubt you need to do much". 

["I'm making it special. Think of it as a celebration to our recovery from ice packs and cough drops. We haven't...done it in two weeks, so...I want to make things nice and, y'know..."]. 

"Special...?" 

["Yeah...Y-yeah, exactly"]. 

Gintoki darted his eyes over to the bar where Sakamoto and Katsura were still drinking and were currently being served seconds. Leaning his arm over the phone's counter, Gintoki considered his options here. There weren't many, but maybe he could hang around for a while longer. Slapping his hand gingerly on the surface of the wooden table, he decided. 

"Okay...Umm...Well, I could hang around here for a bit until you're ready. I've gotta clear my head anyway. I swear to god I only had one drink and I feel kinda whoosy. Probably 'cause I haven't eaten since lunch". 

["Well, okay. Maybe hang around for...another hour and then leave. I'll have things set up by the time you get back and we can just...spend the night together"]. 

"Uh, good. G-good, sure...I'll, er...See ya tonight then". 

["See you tonight. You can tell me all about your night when you come back"]. 

"Yeah, but I'm not gonna talk yor ears off about it. Okay, gotta go...Bye". 

Gintoki sighed when finally hanging up the phone. An hour was more than enough time for Hijikata to prepare this "special evening" that was special no matter what. It would hopefully be the first time they would have sex after two weeks of abstinence and sickness. An hour was more than enough time to sober up, enough time to head back and not fuck this date up by being tipsy. If he had time, a shower was ideal, too. 

Treading back to his bar stool, he was followed by three pairs of eyes with curiosity in those gazes. Of course it was none of their business; how the conversation went. Ikumatsu seemed particularly eager to know with her hands grasping her hips, an eyebrow arched. 

"You keeping your man waiting, hm, Gin-san?" 

"O-okay, he's not my "man". Knock it off with the weird...names-or whatever. Anyway, looks like I can stick around for maybe another hour, but I'm not having another drink". 

"How about just water to sober up?" 

"Ah, sure. Why not". 

"Comin' right up. And we have bottled water. I don't give customers shitty faucet water, so be thankful". 

Ikumatsu waltzed back into the kitchen with confident steps, even for a mere glass of water. Probably wanted to ask more questions about Hijikata, nosy woman. Sakamoto and Katsura were slurping down seconds of noodles while Gintoki's stomach growled ominously, like a slimy stomach creature was moaning in there, ready to claw its way out for food. Ahem, writer's imagination. Takasugi's imagination, probably. Even now Gintoki hadn't picked up one of his books. After reminiscing about the good, more happy Takasugi, he considered picking one up just to see how fucked up his imagination had become since childhood, when his horror stories weren't all that horrific. For a moment, he considered it, and then put the idea down and off to the corner of his other thoughts.

"Gintoki, you seem to be spacing out a little. Is everything okay?" 

"Mm? Oh, yeah, Zura. Everything's fine. Just got me thinking about the past, that's all. It feels like decades and decades since we were all together, doing the same line of work". 

"It does, doesn't it?" Sakamoto had his arms crossed, his mind drifting off to other places like any old day. There wasn't a moment when he didn't pull that smile, and it only brightened up when the memories came rushing back in one fell swoop. "Ah! Remember when we were all roommates? Those were good times, right, fellas?" 

Behind Sakamoto's back, Gintoki and Katsura exchanged a weird look, shrugging, seemingly without any knowledge about what the hell kind of memories Sakamoto had. 

"Uh, buddy, that never happened". Gintoki rested his chin on his hand, smirking, recalling nothing of the sort...apparently. 

"What?! You guys are crazy. Of course it happened. I moved in, we all had a good time, remember? It was cramped, but it was home to me". 

"Tatsuama, Gintoki and I really don't know what you're talking about...Do we?" 

"You're kidding, right? I remember that day specifically: I barged in on you guys with my stuff, you gave me a buncha weird looks, refused me and-...". 

"Nope. You've totally lost me, man". Gintoki picked up his fresh water as soon as it was placed on the bar's surface, shaking his head, denying Sakamoto's memories completely until... 

"I threw down a wad of cash...Remember now?" 

"Oh, yeah, now I remember". 

"Ah, yes, it's all coming back to me". 

"Told you guys! Hah hahaha!" 

"Yeah~...I blocked those memories out...". 

"Hm, me too, Gintoki. Me too...".

Sakamoto laughed on, and the memories rushed back into their heads too at full speed like they were whacked with a steel hammer. It was just as painful and traumatising as the memories of Sakamoto's out-dated stay in their tiny apartment. Those were the baby-sitting days and, well, Takasugi was never that bad when it came to chores or...anything else, for that matter. 

... 

Nine Years Ago... 

... 

It had been arranged for Sakamoto to turn up at their doorstep to go over his plan of action in building up this underground business. He even brought bags, seemingly filled with documents but, at first glance, it was natural to wonder "aren't those a little bit too big to hold documents and such? Together, all four men sat around the same table with Sakamoto displaying a small whiteboard in the center.

"Alright, fellas...". He begam grinning, popping the cap of his pen to begin. "This stuff has to be kept secret so that we're not put in any danger, okay? The work is risky, but if we do it right then there won't be a problem. Okay?" 

"Uh, sure...". Takasugi skeptisism returned, but maintained the hope that this business would save Shouyo-sensei, whatever they had to do. It was naive of him, but at this point he wanted to do anything. As Sakamoto said: they had to be discreet, and most certainly smart, about this. 

"Okay, good. Now, currently, I'm making arrangements for a hide-out in the more hidden locations of Tokyo. It's kinda like a slum area, and the building digs down into this basement area where we'll work". 

Sakamoto unfolded a document to reveal some sort of blueprint. He must have pulled a few strings to optain that, seeing as he was going to rest out the basement of this building. 

"Are we only going to use the basement?" Katsura asked, raising his hand to pause the explanation. 

"Yeah, but it's better that way. The rest of the building is like any old small business. I think it's a self-service-laundry place. They don't get much business, but I'm paying to rent the place downstairs. So long as I do that, they won't shut down". 

"Are they self-employed?" Another question was raised from Katsura. It seemed pointless, but any little detail could be important for their safety. 

"I think so, so they don't really attract a lot of attention, which is what we actually want. If ordinary people around the more popular regions of Tokyo can't see them, the government definitely won't see them". 

It was smart, for a guy with the intelligence of a wooden spoon. Or maybe they had underestimated him, just a little bit. 

"So, what kind of work do we do exactly?" A question from Takasugi this time, one that had been on his mind for a while. Sakamoto never got around to specifics, so now was the best time to ask. 

"Ah, right! Of course you guys wanna know what you're in for. Whoops. Nearly missed all the important stuff out ahahaha!" Nope. Once the IQ of a wooden spoon, always the IQ of a wooden spoon. "We have to get more people on board-but not too many, y'know? Since we're exposing evidence in magazines, we'll have people write articles, edit them, and we'll need an investigative team with the balls to collect evidence against those bastards". 

"Right. That makes sense...". 

"To add to the fun, we were thinking of making up offensive cartoon drawings for our articles to grab people's attention". 

"Isn't that the same as propaganda?" After everything else, Gintoki spoke up, picking his nose with this dead look in his eyes. You'd think that he wasn't paying attention at all. 

"Uh, well, yeah...Look, we don't have to but-". 

"Gintoki can sketch, actually. He's really good at it". 

"Oi, Zura, shut your mouth. I don't sketch-". 

"Wait, really?! That's perfect! We can use that". Gintoki sighed, dragging it out with dread. If he had to sketch for work, he'd rather not sketch at all. "We're trying to keep this under wraps as well. So, what we do is, we gather up all the articles for that month and put 'em all in an envelope to be posted into mail boxes of varies magazines. But, in order for the envelopes to be anonymous and the sending location hard to track, we send a couple guys out to carefully deliver them from different locations in Japan with no return address and no fingerprints left behind. Easy". 

"How do you know the magazine companies won't sell us out?" 

"Wow, Kintoki, you're so negative, aren't you?" 

"What? Kintoki-...It's Gintoki. Y'know, with the characters for "silver", not "gold" or "balls". Look at my hair, that'll remind you". 

"So, about the guys and gals who publish the magazines...". 

"This guy is totally ignoring me!" 

"They'd do anything for a story that'll attract readers, just like newspapers. They'll get plenty of buyers and, eventually, this stuff will be put into newspapers, if we're lucky". 

"Is that right...". The planning seemed solid, well-thought out, like this guy had planned this out for years with as many resources and as much cash as he needed to pull this off. Given a few months, maybe a couple years, they could really make a difference. 

"So, would you say you guys are with me on this one? Don't worry, I won't make ya sign a contract or anything. Ahaha, I'm not that corporate". 

Gazes of understanding and agreement was shared between Gintoki, Katsura and Takasugi. They gave a nod and faced Sakamoto with confident smirks. Oh they were in. 

"Yeah, okay, Sakamoto-". 

"Call me Tatsuma, fellas. Let's not be formal here. We're all buddies, right?" 

"Uhh, I'd give it some time before we go that far...Tatsuma". Out of everyone, Takasugi was more cautious about who to call a friend, but Sakamoto seemed to be okay, in a weirdo kinda way. 

"C'mon, Takasugi-kun, don't be shy. Of course we're all buddies!" I think Gintoki only cared about two things here: saving Shouyo-sensei, and the rich boy's cash. 

"It's good to have you on the team, Tatsuma". 

"Aww, you guys! Haa, I was so worried. I thought you guys would turn me down if I asked to move in here. Phew!" 

The "buddy" atmosphere came to a halt at those words and Sakamoto's odd relief. When-....What-...Why? Why did he think-...Huh? The three men, who were once welcoming of this gentleman into their group, were now frozen in place with horror and astonishment like they walked in on a guy digging their graves. 

"Uh, what...?" Naturally, Gintoki was the first to speak up and confront Sakamoto about his sudden enquiry. "The fuck are you talking about? Did we miss something?"

"Tatsuma, when were you going to tell us you wanted to move in? I mean, we haven't given you permission or-". 

"We're buddies now, so I figured it would be a good opportunity to lie low until we get rid of Tokugawa and his corrupt subordinates. What do you think I brought all these bags for?" 

"I knew they were too big to hold documents!" Duh, Captain Obvious: Gintoki Sakata. Well they all got it now... 

"Listen, Tatsuma, we're struggling as it is to keep three guys here, feed three mouths. I'm not sure if we can lodge someone else...". 

"Yeah, listen to Zura. This place is already cramped, and we don't have much. So unless you can keep yourself we-". 

As if to prepare for this exact scenario, Sakamoto threw down a stack of cash on the table with a wide grin. He was so sure that he would be allowed o move in, huh? He didn't give a word of context either; he just threw down the money as a bribe, perhaps? 

"Uh...". Gimtoki was left speechless. He seemed pretty damn convinced already! 

"Tatsuma, this...". 

"It's rent money. I'll keep myself and help out around the house as much as I can, too, since you guys are helping me out with the business. C'mon, fellas. Please~?" 

This time there was more uncertainty in their gazes as the three men looked at eachother and each gave a shrug or a "yeah, okay" kind of gesture. With a sigh, Gintoki elected himself into agreeing. 

"Fine...But you have to pull your weight-financially and with house work". 

"Alright! And you can keep the money for now. I told ya I'd pay you two months in advance". 

"Well, I guess-wait, what?" 

"At the restaurant; I told you guys I'd pay you two months in advance, remember? Well, there you go". 

"You meant rent money?!" 

"Uh-huh? Why do you look so shocked?" 

"I thought you were paying a salary for working! Why the hell do you think rent money counts?!" 

"Doesn't it?" 

"That doesn't make any sense! Why would you pay us your share to live here when we're doing your work?!" 

"Huh...Never thought of it that way...Aha ahahaha! Haahahaha!" 

Gintoki lept across the table, reaching out for Sakamoto's throat through rage and frustration, to be stopped by Katsura and Takasugi, who were just as livid as Gintoki was. Honestly, they were, but tried to be calm and civil about this as best they could. 

"Fuckin' lemme at him! I'll kill this stupid bastaaard!" 

"Gintoki, calm down!" 

"Yeah, don't pop a gasket over it! I'm pissed too, and we can kill him later, but you need to chill out!" 

"Shut up, rich boy! You're next!" 

"Whhyyy?! Why are you going after me too?! Are you retarded?!" 

"You're both retarded! Now settle down!" 

"Ahaha! I haven't had this much fun in a long time! Hahaha!" 

"Shut up, Tatsuma!" All three men screamed, enraged, but trying to hold back from killing this guy on the spot. 

This was how it started, and from there the apartment turned into a circus show of freaks in a cage fight with one guy standing in the corner, laughing his ass off at the aggression before him, even if most of it was aimed at him. As frustrating as it was most days, none of them could say that it wasn't somewhat fun and laughable when looking back. But back then, when it all began, their days had numbered until someone would lose their mind, or all four of them would reach total acceptance of their situation. Which one seemed most likely to happen? 

... 

Only after a couple of days did the guys begin to settle down. But once they did, things started up again and the chaos rang out in that one, small room. On a morning like any other, when the sun shot through windows without shutters and only thin curtains, and the air smelled like a men's locker room, did the hysterics begin again...But with a fourth member added to the equation. What a sad sausage fest, huh?

What woke Gintoki up was the smell and the light all in one. He groaned, turned on his side and draped the coverlet of his futon over his head. In his attempt to avoid the "unavoidable" stench of men and the uncomfortable feeling of getting smothered by them, Gintoki received just that when facing one side over the other. Being stuck in dead center of three other guys in futons is always a bad call. Gintoki was faced with Takasugi and his unnaturally pretty face. Dark cirlces sunk into Gintoki's dead fish eyes as the envy boiled in his blood. How the fuck did he look so good with a bed head when Gintoki walked around with one all year long? And the lashes...If this guy fell asleep on the subway, he'd get molested...By both genders.

Being the first one up had its advantages, though. For one, he could use the bathroom first without someone-ahem, Takasugi-banging on the door, scaring the stream away, thus only making things harder for himself. With a grateful smile he got up and went for the bathroom; grateful that he got up before anyone else to endure the odor and the smothering of men, and only men. Made him wish that he was in a love hotel with a young woman. Although she wouldn't exactly stick around until morning, most of the time. Gintoki took an easy stroll to the bathroom, reaching out for the door when a second hand met with his on the handle. And when the silence came to pass by awkwardly, their gazes met; the other pair of eyes belonging to Takasugi as he stared Gintoki down, knowing where this was going to go. When did he even get up? 

"Don't you dare". Takasugi snarled, grogginess clear in his eyes and his voice as he slurred the words. "I'm going in first-I have college this morning". 

"And I have work, small fry. Anyway, I stood up first, so I get to go first". 

"Says who?" 

"I do. Now get outta the way and lemme through before I make you get outta the way". 

"You can't threaten me, asshole. You'd better move it, or else-". 

"Or else what? Your baby threars don't work on me either, dwarf". 

"I'm 5, 7! That doesn't make me a dwarf!" 

"Oh, please, when looking at me you've got the short straw...or so to speak, for more than one reason, I think". 

"Fuck you!" Takasugi thrust his knee straight up, smacking Gintoki's abdomen while it was weak. His knees buckled together, but his grip on the door handle tightened as Takasugi tried to jimmy it open for himself. 

"Fuck! Aah! That's playing dirty you prick!" Gintoki threw his fist against Takasugi's stomach, sending him into a state of further weakness. 

"Ugh! D-don't do that, asshole!" 

"You're the asshole, asshole!" 

Not long after the fighting began did Katsura wake up due to the ruckus going on by the bathroom. He sat up, rubbing his eyes, sighing like a man who was used to all of this by now. At the same time, Sakamoto had woken up, too, but in an unusually brighter mood. What a weird guy. Unfortunately, Katsura couldn't say much. Somehow, for some reason, age had affected Katsura's ability to think like a reasonable human being before he reached full adulthood. What a fucked up household. 

"Fine! If you're gonna fight me for it, why don't we do rock, paper scissors?!" Gintoki held out his fist, impatient for Takasugi to hurry up and agree to this so he could use the bathroom. 

"Okay, then! But hurry up! My stomach's killing me!" Takasugi wasn't one to back out of a fair fight if there was a fifty-fidty chance of him using the restroom first. 

They both stepped away from the door frame, their knees and fists trembling as they held them out to begin the game. In unison, they called out... 

"Rock, paper, scissors, shoot! Shit!" Two pairs of scissors. Shit. Again! 

"Rock, paper, scissors, SHOO-". 

"Ah, excuse me, guys. Gotta tinkle". 

Without any goddamn warning, without being fully aware of his presence in such a groggy, weighed down state of mind, neither of the men noticed Sakamoto get up and approuch the bathroom. As they laid out their fists--both rocks--Sakamoto slipped inbetween and went into the bathroom without arguments or any involvement in their fair-and-square childrens game. And, for a moment, they both stared at the door blankly as it shut in their faces and all tension in their stomachs was ready to give up and let go. No! Fuck that! 

"Tatsuma! You bastard!" Gintoki was first to pounce, slamming his fists on the bathroom door. Takasugi joined eith his aggression and frustration built to the maximum in such a dire incident. "Open up! We were here first!" 

"Hurry up, you prick! We have to go more than you do!" 

("G-guys, c'mon, quit yelling. If you keep that up, I'll get scared and it'll only take longer, y'know?")

The banging stopped, and their bladders felt weak, having to wait longer than needed. One could've gone in, taken a piss, let the other through civilly, then brushed their teeth together-a bath was a whole other story, though. But, no, now Sakamoto was relieved while these two chumps had to wait for another two minutes while coming to an agreement on who goes next. Ah, the perks of four men living under the same roof. Four. Men. Uuuuugghhh... 

... 

When Sakamoto said he would help out around the house, he failed to mention that "helping out" also involved a lot of learning. He did claim that he could cook, but only simple things like rice and an omelette. To be honest, it wasn't very shocking when Sakamoto turned to Katsura and asked for assistence with preparing the miso soup for the morning. As the leader of this group, Katsura found it to be his duty to guide his friends and "comrades", as he often chose to put it, in even the most trivial tasks and decisions when needed. So, he helped as best he could with a straight face and an unusual high tolerance for this man, compared to the pair sharing a toilet bowl in the next room.

("Don't look at me!") Came Gintoki's voice all of a sudden, shaking the apartment. 

("I'm not-hey! Fucking turn your eyes away! You gay or something?!") 

("You're gay! Get--get that thing away from me too!") 

("I'm nowhwere near you!") 

Morons... 

"Are things usual like this with them?" Sakamoto distracted himself from stirring broth and sliced vegetables as he paid much more attention to the angry cries of men suffering from a lack of privacy and a full bladder. 

"You could say that, yes. Although this has never happened before...". 

("Ah! Two shakes! Don't try to get all weird and friendly with me, Takasugi! I swear I'll kill you!) 

("Fuck off! And stop looking, weirdo!") 

("I wasn't looking!")

Idiots... 

"You guys are really full of energy, aren't you?" 

"Yeah, it's been that way for as long as I can remember. Those two have always been that way, but even now it's a little hard to adjust to". 

"Huh? You guys known eachother since...?" 

"Since childhood, yeah". 

Sakamoto was astonished by this fact, speechless, wide-eyed and puzzled. The face he made expressed some sort of lack in understanding of three guys being childhood friends, knowing eachother up until college age. Maybe it was odd to most, as many people often forget their childhood friends in order to find long-lasting ones in their adulthood. It wasn't weird for Katsura to think that not everyone keeps the same friends for years. Thier group was just...different. 

"Wow...So I suppose you guys are pretty close?" 

"Mm-hm, definitely. To be honest with you, we only have eachother. None of us really had parents, so, yeah...". 

"Hey, no need to look so glum about it. As long as you have someone, that's all that matters, right? My parents barely paid any attention to me, so I understand to some extent. I stuck with more friends than I did family, as odd as that sounds. But you guys are on the same boat, so it doesn't feel as weird". 

"No, it doesn't. We're a weird bunch, so I think you'll feel right at home". 

("I call hot faucet!") Gintoki, again. What was it now? A matter of who gets which faucet to wash their hands? 

("Why do you get the hot faucet?!") 

("I called it, that's why!") 

("That isn't how it-...Ugh! Fine! Let's just get this over with..."). 

("...A-ack! Too hot! Too hot! Lemme under the cold faucet quick!") 

("Oh my god! You're pissing me off!")

Just another day in the Katsura, Takasugi, Sakata-and now Sakamoto-household. Something to roll your eyes at when adjusting to the chaos and shenanigans as a whole. Good to know that Sakamoto would feel at home in this freak show, running around with the rest of them. Eventually, Gintoki and Takasugi made it out of the bathroom, still refusing to make eye contact as the rage had been harboured inside for another time in another place. The only benefit to their fights was that they were wide awake. Awake enough to help out, at the very least. 

"Gintoki, do you mind setting the table?" Katsura brushed off their little fight in the bathroom, to continue the morning as per usual. Gintoki didn't argue, he just set the table like he was asked. Make things a little easier for Katsura, for once. 

Takasugi took a seat at the table, parking his rear on one of the floor cushions, waiting for everyone else to join in. The first morning out of many more to come over the next couple years. Now that there were four of them, there was plenty to adjust to again. Sakamoto wasn't a bad guy, just strange and oddly cheerful. Some "fun" years were on the way, and that word is used loosely to describe their time together in that small, cramped, but cosy apartment. 

... 

All three of the original tenents had some place of their own where they pulled their weight for the house; Gintoki worked two part-times jobs, so was often out, making money. Katsura had a part-time job, too, but attended a college one train ride away, and roughly a half-an-hour walk from the apartment. Takasugi went to university, farther away, where he dedicated his time studying business and literature. He made an earning, of some kind, from his scholarship, but that was all. Sakamoto, on the other hand, had never worked a day in his life, as he later revealed with no shame or embarrassment for his lack of contribution to society, and the household especially. Reminded the guys of a stereotypical otaku, sitting in his bedroom with anime, pornography and potato chips. Although without any of those things. What had he been doing with his life up to this point? 

"My Dad showed me plenty of things about business. He taught me all sorts around the time when I received home-schooling, and I know it like the back of my hand. Believe me guys, I'm more than willing to work in trade and business in general. It's just...I've never worked any ordinary job before, like manual labour and such". 

This conversation came up one afternoon when Katsura was splitting chores, since they had a new member to their group. Everything had to be split fairly again. Takasugi was gone, at school, so he was the only one who didn't have to experience his jaw dropping when finding out that Sakamoto really was a rich boy with zero experience of work or chores. That, in their book, counted as a liability. Yes, he had money and a business being set up as they spoke. He could handle finances and so on, but to Katsura all work was to be split fairly around the house and with income. 

"Do you know how to do...any kind of chore? Tatsuma, if you're going to live here, you really need to pull your weight. Gintoki here is the most idle person I've ever met, but he still works hard and makes a living out of the skills he has. Even if he refuses to attend a college...". 

"Y'know, man, I would be offended, but you're not wrong. Although, I am known to "work hard" and "pull my weight" in the bedroom, know what I'm saying?" 

"Yeah, I do! High five!" 

Sakamoto raised his hand, receiving a friendly slap to his palm from Gintoki as they shared their moment and basked in their individual virility, to which Katsura sighed deeply, forcefully.

"Anyway...". He groaned, clearing his throat, going over the list of chores he made on a hand-drawn timetable for the week. And the guys made fun of Katsura for "being too organised". "I suppose we can figure something out and still split it fairly. But if there's anything you need us to teach you, like cooking even the most basic recipes...".

"Don't worry, Zura-". 

"Katsura...". 

"-I'll pick it up eventually. Don't worry 'bout it. Sure, I can clear the floors and do dishes-any idiot could do that, right?" 

"Yes, of course". 

"So all I really need to learn is how to cook, and we can share those responsibilities. Working in a team is one of my best qualities, actually. I've always worked well with others, that's how a business is run, right?" 

"Yes, you're certainly right, Tatsuma. I'm quite the team plauer myself". 

"Good to know, Zura. Man, I think I found my new best friend". 

"Oi, you can't do that". Not that the topic mattered, but, like a child, Gintoki stepped in and argued back with that statement. "Zura's my best friend. Back off". 

"Kintoki, I thought Takasugi was your best friend?" Where did he get the idea from? 

"Uh, no, man. Takasugi's more like my best frienemy, okay? We get along at times, we understand eachother, but at the same time...He's such a dick!" 

"Uh, Gintoki, you're a dick too. In fact, I'd say you're the worst out of the both of you". 

"Shut up, Zura". 

"Well, Zura has a point. As far as I've seen, Kintoki starts most of the fights by annoying or aggrovating Takasugi-shi". 

"I'm not doing it on purpose, I'm openly pointing out facts". 

"Well, yeah, Takasugi-shi is pretty short for a man".

If the guy was in the room, Sakamoto and Gintoki were ensured to receive stab wounds, digging as deeply as the insults about Takasugi's height did. Good thing he was stuck in a classroom with a bunch of narcassists and controlling pricks, both men and women, as he put it. At least he was smart to be a loner in that place. 

"Anyway, I'll...figure something out with the chores and go over everything with Takasugi when he gets back". 

The adjustments to be made weren't easy, but it wasn't too taxing either. What proved to be a drag was the energy of the group once things had supposedly "settled down". 

Sakamoto had proved to be quite talkative. It wasn't necessarily annoying or distracting, but he always had a stroy of some sort to tell at the dinner table. Soon enough it didn't take the others too long to start sharing as well as their trust for Sakamoto grew a little more each day. Takasugi was more reserved, but there was hever any bad blood between him or Sakamoto, a genuinally friendly guy with a lot of laughter in his system. If anything their relationship was more nuetral compared to the relationship Takasugi had with Gintoki day in and day out. 

Inbetween the rest of their conversations, Sakamoto confidentally revealed his plans for this business. He didn't leave much to the imagination as he expressed his ambitions and goals by commiting to this business of his. After this he could set up a real trade, explore the world, do whatever he wanted with his money and the amount of free time he had in comparison to the other three who worked hard and didn't earn much. Again, no bad blood against this guy. None at all. After all, having him around meant no dull days in that small apartment. None whatsoever. 

... 

...

About a month past, and progress was still being made on renovations, as Sakamoto had explained previously. When Gintoki asked Takasugi about it, that was the answer he was given; that this new office was still under renovations, and there was still a case of hiring trusted individuals for the work. And they were being very, very careful about who to pick so, of course, it would take a while to put together a team. On a Friday evening, both Gintoki and Takasugi were tasked to venture out and buy groceries for the week. Sakamoto was helping out with finances a little bit, aside from his own rent, so rationing wasn't a huge problem anymore. Neither was cheap crap found in the reduced section of the grocery store were cans were crippled with dents and bags of varies foods were burst. Walking out of the store with a few bags, filled with supplies to last the whole week, Takasugi took the opportunity to light up a cigarette.

He never made it clear when he began to smoke those sticks of cancer, but then again no one asked. And whenever he lit one, on the dew occassions that he did so, Gintoki and Katsura wondered what might have led him to taking up such a filthy habit. The stress of school? The arguments with Gintoki? Or was it the thought of never seeing Shouyo-sensei again that triggered his stress and perhaps even depression. He didn't look depressed, but you can't really assume that from such an aloof expression, can you? Could be worse, though. Much worse. 

"Hope you don't mind the smoke". Takasugi said this after his first drag, although he didn't look too concerned about Gintoki's well-being, if he was concerned at all. 

"Nah, nah, I don't mind second-hand smoke". Gintoki coughed, swaying the smoke out of his direction with his hand. "Ugh...You should know that smoking stunts your growth". 

"Fuck you". 

"Don't get all aggressive. It's true. You'll be a small fry forever if you keep going on like that". 

"Want me to beat the shit outta you? It's not a big deal. I'm not allowed to smoke on campus, so this is the only time I get to feel relaxed. Exams are coming up, so I need some relief before then. Don't try to take that away from me". 

"Okay, I'm not. Geez...Suit yourself".

Being alone together didn't always turn into arguments or threats. He evening had worn them out, and neither could find anything to argue over just yet. Plus Takasugi was in a more relaxed state of mind now that he could smoke. It was the only relief he had until the next one, in the morning when walking to the university from the train station. No smoking on campus, no smoking in the apartment. Wandering around outside was the only time Takasugi received sweet relief. And it could only get worse the longer he smoked.

"Hey, Gintoki...". Takasugi flicked ash from his cigarette, eyes more focused on the path in front of him than the man beside him as he chose to ask this now. "Do you think...Do you think we'll be able to save Sensei?" 

"...Why're you asking this now? That was the whole reason you decided to join, right?" 

"You and Zura are on the same boat, aren't you? I would expect you of all people to not hesitate if there was even the slightest opportunity of saving him. We don't exactly get along, you and I, but I understand what Sensei meant to you". 

"He meant the world to all of us, and by this point, I can say that I would do anything to save his life. He did so much for us, it's only right to save him in the same way. But I don't want all of this to be for nothing, y'know? We can't get our hopes too high". 

"Meaning...?" 

"...". 

Gintoki's silence was alarming, and it forced Takasugi to stop him in the middle of the pavement. He swiftly walked on ahead, facing him with this look of dread and anger on his face as he threw down his cigarette and grab Gintoki by the collar. 

"Meaning what, Gintoki? Are you implying that he-". 

"Look, nevermind. I just-". 

"No. You're implying that they-...Well it's not true! I refuse to believe it-and I know you don't believe it either!" 

"Yeah, I don't! I didn't mean to...say it like that, alright? Just calm down, Takasugi. I didn't mean to imply anything, I swear to god. I just...I don't wanna see you get so worked-up and stressed. And I know that you might as well be, but this isn't the time. You need to relax and...focus on your exams and such before we get work, alright? Focus on that right now, then we focus on saving Sensei. Okay?" 

Takasugi was easing himself into a calmer state of mind, pushing aside this feeling of dread as best he could before it sunk any deeper. He let go of Gintoki collar, and apologised for grabbing him and for getting angry. He just didn't want to hear the possibility that his beloved teacher might now be around to be saved. It broke his heart, to be honest. Crushing whatever was left of his cigarette under his shoe, Takasugi walked on by Gintoki's side, trying to keep himself together. With a reassuring but boyish slap on the back from Gintoki, it was a little easier to relax. Of course nothing would stop this stress, but, for once, Gintoki helped instead of making it worse. 

"Let's hurry up and get back to the apartment. We're getting hot pot tonight". 

"Tch, this time of year?" 

"Sure, why not? Sakamoto says it's for a special occassion. Probably for the renovations, even though that's supposed to be finished next month". "Maybe he couldn't wait for a month? Hot pot's good". 

"Fucking right it is".

How many more of these civil conversations did they have before shit hit the fan? Not many. But it got better. Looking back on it, Gintoki could personally say that their relationship got a little better. Then it worsed drastically after those few years spent together in an office below an old laundry place. After all that time spent together, all of it went down the drain... 

... 

Present Day... 

... 

From the conversation Sakamoto started previously, Gintoki's thoughts strayed a little and moved onto other memories that had been stored at the back of his mind for years. They didn't come up until now, when Sakamoto had began reminiscing, encouraging Gintoki to do the same unintentionally. Although Gintoki's memories dug a little deeper, and then stopped. They stopped when he forced them to stop. The images were fuzzy, and it was best to let them go for now.

"Are you boys done yet? I'm closing up shop in about ten minutes". 

"Aw, already? C'mon, Ikumatsu-chan~, one more drink for little ol' me~?" 

"Katsura, you gonna call a cab for this drunk?" 

"Woah, woah! I, I'm kidding around! Aha, I'm not drunk, I swear. I was kidding". 

How long had Gintoki been staring at his empty glsss of water, watching the rings slide down from the inside only to hit the bottom. He leaned against his hand, watching without thinking. And when he realised it, he looked up at the clock just above the bar to check if he'd hung around for too long. Luckily, it was about time he left, although he would end up being a little early coming back to Hijikata's place.

"Gintoki, you coming?" Katsura placed down his share of the bill standing to his feet. 

"Quit day-dreaming. Dad always told me that you'll lose your head if it's always up in the clouds. Aha hahaha!" 

"Tatsuma, I think that was soley aimed towards you". 

"Gintoki took out his wallet, and paid his bill with a more friendly smile that was only a little forced. 

"Here ya go. See ya later, Ikumatsu". 

"See ya, Gin-san. Have fun with your boyfriend, be a gentleman, okay?" Ikumatsu picked up her payment, giving Gintoki an impish wink as an offering of luck for him and Hijikata, although her wording about their relationship was a little off again, according to Gintoki's ears. 

The guys left the shop, taking their coats, Gintoki taking his scarf, and Ikumatsu followed behind to take the banner down from the door in order to close up for the night. It was a little earlier than usual, but she probably had her reasons. 

The weather was dimmer, the air colder than before, but then again it had gotten a little late so it was to be expected. Together they walked down the road with Sakamoto taking in the sights. He wasn't in this part of town often due to work, and also the area in which he lived, so he got a good look when passing through. 

"It's a pretty nice night, huh, fellas?" 

"Aside from the cold. Fuckin' hate the cold". Gintoki was one to complain about the chill in the air, cradling himself, wishing that his apartment was much closer than it actually was. 

"Ah, but you've gotta appreciate the sights. We lived in those old tenements for a long time way back when, it rubs off on ya". 

"What're you talking about? We lived there for about a decade and you only stayed for a couple years". 

"I still got pretty used to it. The offices weren't much different". 

"Yeah, that was a shithole as well, but it felt like home, I guess". 

Sakamoto laughed at that statement. Maybe it was Gintoki's sarcastic smirk that set him off. This said office wasn't as cosy as the apartment. Bigger, yes; much bigger, but a shithole nonetheless. With every other memory coming back to him, Gintoki said "why not, fuck it" and welcomed in the time they officially moved their work into the place. It was worth thinking about while they walked and talked down the street. Why not. 

... 

Nine Years Ago... 

... 

Going out this late at night just to take a look at the place seemed sketchy, but Sakamoto explained that it was necessary. He had the keys, permission from the owners of the building, and he over-flowed with confidence as he was the first to step into this basement office, where old laundry machines used to be stored. First of all, it obvuously wasn't a big building. Maybe two floors, and the basement down below. Although it wasn't big on the outside, Sakamoto claimed that the basement was wide, and was spacious enough for several men to work at several desks. They made an entrance through the outside of the building, going down this narrow, stone staircase that dug into the ground, leading to a single door with a light hanging above it. It was all necessary, according to Sakamoto. These guys had to be well-hidden, out of sight from the rest of Tokyo, so they couldn't say anything against this location, at least until the saw the work conditions first.

So when the lights flicked on, all was revealed to them with two short seconds of flickering before all four men were nearly blind from the obnoxious lighting. The basement was dull. The floor was a light grey, possibly made of pure concrete like a bunker for the apocolypse, and the walls were similar, but different in tone, like an extremely bright lime colour. Desks covered most of the floor, and on top were computers and there were a couple printers, a copier in the corner of the room with a table next to it. A coffee maker was out of place on the table, being the only thing displayed, not to mention that it was empty and unplugged. The three guys who followed Sakamoto here took a good, long look anxiously. It wasn't professional or official, but it was an office nonetheless, and it would work if all they were doing was writing articles, editing them and drawing offensive cartoons to spit in Tokugawa's face. 

"So...". Sakamoto stood before these guys, arms outstretched to the sides, a wide grin on his face. He glanced behind his shoulder for a second, letting his hands smack against his legs when facing the men again. "What do you think? We have water, electricity, computers, plenty of space and, eh, a coffee maker. What more could you ask for, right?"

Was there room for any skeptisism? Of course they couldn't expect a big, fancy office with a glamourous view and a...better coffee maker with actually coffee, so it would have to do. This was where all the magic would happen. They didn't have much of a choice by now. How could they walk out over an office? It was the work that mattered, in the end.

"It's a good office; very spacious, and it has the appropriate equipment". 

"Thanks, Zura! I knew you guys would get comfortable as soon as you stepped inside". 

"Hah, "comfortable" is the right word, I don't think...". Gintoki murmured under his breath, averting his gaze from Sakamoto's awkwardly. 

"What was that, Kintoki?" 

"Gintoki! God! It sounds like you're getting my name wrong on purpose now!" 

"So, will working here be fitting for our schedule?" Ignoring Gintoki rant, Takasugi stepped further inside and looked around more thoroughly, and felt the need to ask. It was an importsnt wuestion, after all. 

"Of course it will. We post these articles each month, so you're free to come in whenever you like as long as we reach the set deadline. If need be, you can do work outside of this place as long as you're discreet about it and don't let anyone else to peer over and take a look. It's important that we're secretive, that's why I rented this place". 

"Sounds easy enough...". 

"We're still gonna be working our asses off, though". Gintoki clicked his tongue, knowing perfectly well that he won't have much free time now. 

"Haha, unfortunately, yeah. Running this place will be hard work, but that's why we're working on hiring extra hands that we trust. I have a few good friends who I know we can trust. Even before I came up with this business, they've always hated the government's ways and have always wanted to bring it down, but didn't have the money or resources to do so. They should be joining us in a couple days".

Goodie, that saved a hell of a lot of trouboe for only four men. Of couese they couldn't do all the work themselves. That would be nuts. 

"This is geeat and all but, er...". Gintoki scratched the back of his head, eyeing one of the computer monitors anxiously. "I haven't got a fucking clue how to work a computer". 

"Gintoki, don't worry about it". Katsura patted Gintoki's back reassuringly. "Takasugi and I only started using computers in college, so we'll teach you what we know. But I assume the most you'll need is a word document and knowledge on how to work the printer, for now". 

"Well then! With that all sorted out, I guess we can all get set up, right? Uh, first, I'll have to assign each of you job positions. I thought it over, so I know what you guys will be doing. Takasugi-shi...". 

"Yeah...?" 

"You get to be in charge of investigative work, finding evidence that we can write about and show to everyone. Of course I'll give you a small team to boss around. I trust you with more discreet work, seeing how smart you are". 

"Cool. I'll do that then. I'll write articles too, if you need me to". 

"Yeah, I knew I could count on you, buddy!" 

"I'm not your buddy". 

"Kintoki...!" 

"Gintoki, asshole!" Gintoki nearky threw his fist in a bling fit of anger. He was reaching the end of his tether each time Sakamoto got his name wrong. 

"I want you to write articles, since a little bird told me that you're a great writer. Ah, Takasugi-shi too". All eyes, even Sakamoto's, turned to Katsura as he sat back on one of the desks with a blank expression, deep in thought. Wasn't this supposed to be a business based on discretion? "Oh, and I wouldn't mind if you drew those cartoons we discussed. Please? Pretty please?" 

Sakamoto was locking his hands together, smiling and begging for Gintoki's cooperation on this one. With all the innocent pleading, Gintoki rolled his eyes and crossed his arms with a sigh. 

"Fine, I'll do it. But don't expect me to draw them all the time. I don't wanna get sick of my sketches". 

"Yes! You're on board too! And, ahem, last but not least, Zura!" 

"Katsura...!" Him too! With the names! How was Sakamoto still in this group, aside from allowing them to take part in the corrupt government's downfall?! 

"I'm making you editor-in-chief. Ah? Right? Meaning you're in charge of our upcoming editors department. I was told you're a great leader, so I thought you'd be perfect for the job". 

"Editor-in-chief...That does sound appealing, I suppose. Alright. If it's for the cause, I'll do what I can as leader of...editing. You can count on me, Tatsuma". 

"Man, I'm actually really glad I picked you guys to start all of this up, y'know. I'm already having a blast. Been a while since I've had a few really good friends. And we're all buddies now, right?"

A glance was shared between the usual suspects, and a smile curved on each of their lips. Yet another mutal understand, yet it had nothing to do with work this time around. Instead they shrugged off their differences and the previous shenanigns of the past month. 

"Sure, Tatsuma". Gintoki said, nodding, admitting defeat to this guy by admitting friendship once and for all. "We're buddies". 

"We're pleased to be good friends, Tatsuma". Katsura joined in with a smile. Being the closest to Sakamoto right now, he was at serious risk here. Well, not serious but... 

"Aww, bring it in, Zura!" 

Sakamoto swung his arm around Katsura's shoulders, bringing him in closer. Katsura wasn't displeased. Instead this provoked a wider smile that a serious guy like him would rather hide, usually. Gintoki and Takasugi were on the sidelines, but not for very long.

"C'mon, you guys, get in here! Kintoki~, c'mon~". 

Gintoki rolled his eyes, almost shy towards the concept of getting into a group hug with three other grown men. He didn't show it, though. Gave into peer pressure and hesitantly moved in only for Sakamoto to pull him in. Maybe it wasn't peer pressure-that wasn't correct. It was just a sign of giving in to this guy's overly-friendly attitude. The hug was as rough and shaky as experiencing a magical night in the back of a car; what with the slapping on his back and all. 

"There ya go!" 

"Oi, Takasugi, you too". Gintoki stared at Takasugi expectantly, waiting for him to give in and "bring it in". Bring it all in. 

"What? N-no, I'm good...". 

"Don't be shy, Takasugi-shi. We're all friends here". 

"Oi, if Zura can get into a hug with me and Tatsuma, so can you. Now get your ass in here before I pull you in".

Takasugi had a choice to stay on the sidelines without being a aprt of this uncomfortable-looking hug. But despite only knowing eachother for about a month, despite only knowing this guy's story by half, Sakamoto was a good guy. This wasn't false, or a facade or a fake act. They confirmed this over the amount of time they got to know eachother from then onwards. And when looking at this image now, Takasugi...Well, a part of him didn't want to be left out to the side. He walked on in to their bro hug, with Gintoki's arm draping over his shoulders, bringing him in. Their shoulders and backs weighed down on them, but allowing one more person into their "we only have eachother group" was a bigger burden on their hearts and minds. They had never accepted anyone else before, never gotten so close to a stranger who didn't start out in the same place. But here they were. 

"Alright, guess we should get started. Uh, first of all, we need to sort out passwords and usernames for the computers". 

"Huh...?" Gintoki looked confused. Right, this was his first time using one. 

"Ah, Takasugi and I will help out with that. Right, Tatsuma?" 

"Sure, go for it. Let's get to it now, 'cause it's getting late and there's drama comingon at nine that I wanna watch". 

"We're all on the same boat with that one, y'know. So let's shut up and get this over with, alright?" 

"That's the spirit, Kintoki! Ahahaha!" 

"Er, Tatsuma, I think he's more eager to watch the drama rather than set up a computer".

Perhaps this wasn't just the beginning of a small, underground business that aims to take down the most corrupt bastards of the government. It became evident that this was the start of a long, lasting friendship between four dudes who all met under odd circumstances; each and every one of them. At that moment they weren't the best of friends, but what they had then seemed to delve into something close and mutal. And when they were of age they all agreed to sit in a bar and have a toast to their future success, and hopefully Shige Shige Tokugawa's, if the kid made it into politics. Better than his uncle, by far. Such blissful days could only come down to hard work and discretion for a long time, at least until their business came to an end, and when this four-man group hug split. All rhe negative memories had to come plowing through the rest of his thoughts, didn't they? 

... 

Present Day... 

... 

Gintoki tried to shake it out of his head, when alone, heading straight home, or to Hijikata's place to be precise, after saying his goodbyes to Sakamoto and Katsura. Although he was still caught up in his memories during that time. When looking at the hallways between his apartment and Hijikata's, there was a huge difference, quite literally. Even st night it was well-lit, the space of the hall was much bigger than the tenements. All of this was just coming back now, strangely enough. You'd think these memories would come back when he first moved in but after spending about a year or so living happy memories with Otose it was easier to block out the older memories. The shitty ones, not the happy ones.

A little earlie than arranged, but freezing his ass off, Gintoki went straight to Hijikata's place to warm up and...to just see him. He was sober and cold, so why wouldn't Hijikata welcome him inside? Well, even if Gintoki was a little drunk, Hijikata was far too kind to turn him down. Seriously, the guy was so sweet deep down that it made Gintoki smile thinking about it. He knoxked on the door, and waited for a welcoming response. When the door did open, quite quickly actually, Hijikata peered out a little to check of it was Gintoki and smiled when seeing thst it was indeed him. 

"Uh, hey...". He greeted, shyly, opening the door further. "Come in, it's pretty cold". 

"Impatient, are we? Good to see you too". Upon entering, Gintoki made sure to give Hijikata a little kiss on the lips. A little peck. Hijikata closed the door behind them once Gintoki was inside, slipping off his shoes. 

As Gintoki entered the room, there lingered a pleasant smell of food on the stove. The apartment was warm and comfortable with the T.V all set up, along with the lights being dimmed and the lamps being turned on to set a romantic mood. Gintoki removed all outdoor wear, stepping in further when his hand was swiped and grasped gently by Hijikata, who only pulled him into the apartment further. Feeling the ice-cold temperature of his skin, Hijikata flinched and faced Gintoki, coming in closer. 

"God, you're chilled to the bone. Wanna take a bath first, before we...y'know, do anything else?" 

"Ah, yeah, I could use one, actually. I haven't taken one yet anyway and I don't wanna be dirty when we're doing it". 

"I wasn't thinking about that, but, yeah, good point. I've already taken one, and the water in the tub should still be warm if you hurry. Dinner'll be ready by the time you get out, too". 

"Wow, you're so prepared. Although I wouldn't expect anything less from you, Mr Vice-Commander. I like it when you get all serious about stuff like dates with me...It's cute". 

When it came to kisses of pure affection, Gintoki didn't hesitate at all. So when taking Hijikata's other hand, he pulled him in a little more and placed a soft little kiss on the bridge of Hijikata's nose, and to its side. Hijikata squeezed his eyes shut, by this point dropping any arguments against being called "cute" or "adorable". He would be called the same things anyway whether he liked it or not, and often not as each time Gintoki smiled and commented on how cute Hijikata was or could be he blushed. Didn't help his case as Gintoki "awwed" and placed more little kisses on his cheek. But not this time. He was stalling, practically waiting for the water in the tub to become the very antarctic. 

"Are you gonna take a bath or what?" 

"Haah, fine...I'll go now, just hold your horses. Be out in a minute". 

"Good. Try to hurry; dinner will be ready soon". 

The smell and the mentioning of food provoked low growls from the pit of Gintoki's stomach. Of course he would hurry. Food and the time he would spend cuddling up to Hijikata took his mind of all the reminiscing and negative memories that tried to force their way back into the mind of someone who didn't habitually look into the past, not the worst memories, at the very least. Spending the rest of the evening on Hijikata's lap sounded more promising than drinking away and dwelling on events that could not be changed, fixed or altered. If he could look back on it all, maybe it was best to stick to the fun memories. 

... 

About twenty minutes after Gintoki got into the bathtub, Hijikata called out to him, saying dinner was ready and that he should "hurry his ass up". Getting out, Gintoki quickly dried off as best he could and clumsily slipped on the fresh clothes that Hijikata kindly laid out for him; a tee-shirt, underwear, comfty sweatpants and a clean pair of socks that had just been taken off the heater. The clothing was warm, the mood was set as soon as he stepped out of the bathroom, but he was starving and his hair was still a little damp from showering. Without a word, a towel drapes over his hair, Gintoki sat down right beside Hijikata on the sofa with the T.V blaring on the main menu of the series. Leaning back, a pillow set up and fluffed behind him, Gintoki was able to relax and cuddle up for the night. He put his feet up alongside Hijikata's on a foot stool, and the blanket draped over the sofa was pulled down and instead draped over their legs-covering them up completely. They were basking in warmth, and it felt so fucking good. 

"Ahh, that's much better...". Gintoki sighed and moaned, at peace, as if he'd been wandering around on his feet all day. "Pheew...So, what's on the menu tonight?" 

Hijikata pointed to the end table closest to Gintoki, where a bowl and a half glass of red wine sat together, waiting to be picked up. 

"I thought of going for something simple but, y'know, as a comfort food. It's just donburi with stewed beef, n-nothing too complicated. I wasn't gonna make a huge feast for us to work around on the sofa, but I hope it's okay-". 

"Hijikata, it's fine. I like donburi". And that's all she wrote when picking up the bowl and chopsticks sitting next to it atop a neatly folded napkin. Hijikata picks up his own bowl and sits back, glancing over at Gintoki to make sure that it tastes good. With one bite, a pause, and a nod, Hijikata got his answer. "It's good...". Gintoki murmured with his mouth full. "Really good". 

"Oi, don't talk with your mouth full". Hijikata gives Gintoki's arm a little nudge with his before shaking his head and proceeding with his own share. 

"What? You wanted to know what I thought. It's delicious, I'm impressed". 

"We have mochi ice cream for later, if you'd like". 

"Oh, what, seriously? What flavours?" 

"Azuki bean and...chocolate coconut, I think". 

"You actually went to the effort to buy this?" 

"I bought a few things while you were out. Just wanted to make things nice and...W-well, you get the idea. I'm gonna press play on this, okay?" 

There was no need to be so shy about going out of your way, making things simple but specially at the same time, as odd as that may have sounded out loud. Hijikata was just too sweet. Honestly, Gintoki couldn't have it any other way. The television series began on the first episode with a couple logos of the production team coming up onto the screen. Gintoki took a sip of wine, taking his focus off the screen and placing it on Hijikata. 

"So...". He began, licking traces of wine from his lips when placing the glass back down onto the end table. "I forgot to ask over the phone, what did the doctor say to you today? Is it good news?" 

"Well...". Hijikata paused, covering his mouth with the back of his hand as he finished chewing and swallowing his food. "The good news is that I can go back into work tomorrow. As long as I eat right during the day and continue taking those vitimans for a few more months, I should be back to full health. He also suggested that I try and build up by blood sugar by eating small things like chocolate, kinda the reason why I bought chocolate mochi for tonight, so...". 

"Good thing you get to go back to work. Staying in the apartment all day must have been killing ya". 

"Hah, tell me about it. A-although it wasn't all bad, since you were stuck with me". 

"Aw, how sweet of you to say". 

"I'm serious. I would've been bored out of my mind if I didn't have you there to talk to". 

"Would you feel lonely, too?" 

"...". Gintoki didn't expect an answer right away. In fact, Hijikata paused and glanced down at his bowl of donburi without picking up another piece for at least ten seconds. Big boy was swallowing his pride for this, not just the doburi. "I...I guess so. It would have been. Plus I probably would have been a total fucking mess if you hadn't been there".

"Whether I was sick or not, I would have stayed at home to look after you. You know that, right?" 

"...". Hijikata shied away from the question, but nodded briefly and sheepishly in affirmative. The conversation trailed off to a full stop from there in an almost awkward way, yet Gintoki smiled and moved in just a little closer to Hijikata. 

"Come in a little closer. You look like you don't have enough blanket there". 

"O-oh, thanks. I'm fine...So, er...Did you have fun while you were out?" 

"Hm? Oh, yeah, it was pretty fun. I rarely get to hang out with them altogether, so it was good to have a drink together. Almost reminded me of how we used to do it". 

"...? "Almost"? What do you mean by that?" 

"We used to have Takasugi in our group". Gintoki didn't hesitate to state that. He was more casual about it, like he had accepted Takasugi's absence a long time ago. 

"Ah...". 

"Although, back then, Sakamoto was the one to invite us to bars whenever we had the time to go. It felt like a drag at first, but when we were there it was fun, and we managed to meet pleny of-...ahem, people...We were never the social type, y'know?" 

"Oh, is that so...". Of course Hijikata would see right through Gintoki's hesitation, and his forced smile to try and reassure him that he wasn't talking about women that he met and later slept with. "Gintoki, I know you got around when you were younger and I don't care. It doesn't bother me. Most of us lived once". 

"Including you?" 

"...Uh, no, not me. I don't like women who are loose and shameless". 

"Well, even though I'm a guy, I'm loose and shameless. But you seem to like me an awful lot". 

"Yeah, you are like that but...I grew to like you for different reasons-you know that. You didn't flirt with me or invite me to a love hotel at a bar, you...You gave me the chance to get to know you and such. I would say you've changed a lot since we first met, but you've always had a caring side, haven't you?" 

Gintoki shrugged, too sheepish to admit this. 

"Well, to be honest, I have changed a little bit since I was younger, but that happens to everyone. You grow older, wiser, and you eventually go into this decline of energy where you stop wanting to play around. What's changed is that I don't mind settling down with someone I actually care about, like you. I'm still me, still got all my old habits and quirks but I know you accept me for all of those things". 

"Uh-huh, I have. Not that it was easy, but...". 

"Oi, I accept you for the cigarettes and the mayonnaise addiction. Think that was easy on me?" Gintoki placed down his empty bowl, as Hijikata did seconds after. "Come on in a little closer, will ya? It's a little cold". 

Collecting their wine glasses from their individual end tables, they could now get a little closer to eachother, as Gintoki initiated. He wrapped his arm around Hijikata's back, placing a very soft kiss on his cheekbone. 

"Now let's watch this, we've missed half of the first episode already". 

"Wanna rewind it?" Hijikata asked, grabbing the remote from under his thigh. 

"Sure, go ahead". 

The screen flashed, the audio going silent as Hijikata played the rewind button all the way back to the beginning of the first episode. With the silence coming into play as well, Gintoki had a little time to think. He had changed a little since the past, but more socially, not personally. He would never talk about his old one night stands to Hijikata in great detail, as that was an old conversation topic around a bar table over beer and with guy friends curious and brazen enough to want to know about what it was like, who played the dominate role, so on and so forth. But those conversations were long gone as they got older and after Gintoki brought Hijikata into his life, more intimately, more romantically, and emotionally.

Most of Gintoki's interactions with Hijikata nowadays were affectionate and trusting, unlike the anonymous seven to twenty minutes in heaven with some girl he met drinking her way in fruit cocktails after her friends ditched her. It sounded terrible. And as fun as those moments were, they looked terrible in a grown-up Gin-san's mind. Even worse than romantic and affectionate butt stuff with a guy ue used to dislike greatly (but never hate, that was a strong, inaccurate word for it). Looking back on those memories, and then looking at Hijikata, Gintoki placed an endearing and grateful kiss on his face; grateful that he was here, and that they had what they had now. But back then... 

... 

Eight Years Ago... 

... 

The basement was a cosy work environment in autumn and during the later months of spring, but summer and winter was hell. By now, several men had come to work under these conditions, typing away at their computers, making as many acceptable articles as they could. They were promted from these magazines to newspapers after some realisation that people would treat a lot of the stuff printed as gossip, rumors, and nothing more. It took a little time, but Sakamoto managed to egotiate a deal with one or two local newspaper companies from Yokohama and Sapporo to print out their articles in different offices around Japan. Although this meant they had to write and finish articles about the government every two weeks. These papers were published weekly, but considering their schedules they had time to space out the time of printing.

The work was a little harder, but they managed. And more people began to see Tokugawa's true colours through black and white. And the response they got over the course of a year was huge. People began to pay attention, and their mind's changed with every little hiccup the government made; policies, laws, taxes, their real goals behind fake smiles and handshakes with every new high-rise landlord. The process for taking them down was slow, but it was slowly working. 

"Okay, Shinra, see you tomorrow. Have a good night!" 

Sakamoto said his goodbyes to a colleague as he called it a night and left after storing his share of work into the usual secret compartment with everything else. That had become a safety rule somewhere down the line; all unfinished work and pieces of evidence were to be stored away in a secret closet built in a few months ago, when people, including the government, started paying attention to these reports. They had never been found as of yet, but safety was always the main thing to keep in mind here. 

After a year, Gintoki had grown accustomed to his beautiful computer. He typed away, dark circles creeping up under his eyes on his worst days, a cup of coffee sitting at his desk always. He paused in front of his article, leaving the sentence unfinished to yawn and rub the sand out of his eyes. Even with all this work, Takasuhi and Katsura managed to keep up with college and studying, as hard as it was. Sadlh, it was rumored that Katsura had descended into idiocy, gradually. Maybe it was the amount of work he had to go through both inside and outside of college, but he was going down a weird path right now. Going through some stuff, you might say.

"Gintoki, how's your work coming along?" Katsura had found a seat by Gintoki and his monitor, reading over whst he had so far. It was his job, after all. "Do you have those sketches finished yet?" 

"Uhn...Haah...Yeah, I do. Here...". Gintoki handed over his sketches for the new cartoons to be printed on the papers. They were surprisingly popular, and got through to people in a morbid kind of way. 

The said sketch depicted an office, first of all, with a desk and a window looking out onto the city streets. A man sat in a big, leather chair, drawn to look like Sada Sada Tokugawa. The man was stuffing his face with a large bucket of mochi, labeled "taxes" in big, bold, red lettering. And he was looking out, watching a building clearly labeled "orphanage'" being demolished by a truck labeled "for our future", implying that the government wished to build a future in taller, "better" buildings for themselves. The drawing itseof was well-done and would strike a few nerves with the audience reading along. It was bold, and very much like Gintoki's character to be blunt and even a little cruel. 

"Excellent. This is very well-done, Gintoki. I'm sure everyone in the office will be pleased but...Tokugawa will not". 

"Yeah, hopefully he sees this and it feels like a slap to his fat face. That bastard has gotten worse since he was re-elected". 

"That was before we worked for the paper's. People are really listening now, Gintoki. They see facts, not gossip and rumors. If it's too early for elections, then the people will force him to give up his place as Prime Minister. He'll have no choice in the end". 

"I hope so". 

"Oi, could you two stop slacking off? We're almost done, so get to work".

No surprise that Takasugi liked to play boss. He had gotten quite used to it with his investigative team that he named the "Kiheitai" somewhere along the way. They were a very organised group of smart men and women who he gathered himself. They were a select few, but that was for the best. He trusted them, too, and they also put their trust in him as leader of investigations, finding evidence, and so on. He also proved himself to be a skilled writer, gripping readers with very bold claims and use of speech. But the "small fry" was usually taken down a peg by his rival, Gintoki... 

"Oi, who said that you could boss us around? Stick to your own little clique, small fry, 'cause there's just a lone wolf sitting at this desk". 

...Or the "Shiroyasha" of the office. That name was a given due to his own ruthless style of writing and crude, offensive drawings that conveyed absolutely no fear. He was one of their most powerful members, and most talented writers. He was an asset to the whole project, just as Takasugi was. So when mocked or bossed around, the two stood up, staring eachother down at a short distance. Although Gintoki grew to 5,9 while Takasugi was stuck at a small 5,7 for the rest of his adulthood. 

"The hell is that? Trying to talk big?" 

"Guys, cut it out, already". And then there was Katsura, one of the more pacifistic leaders of the office, alongside Sakamoto. He was repsected, and his kinds words were law among almost everyone who worked here. He didn't ensue force, just encouragement and advice. Although some listened a lot more than others... "We're all tired, so give it a rest for today". 

"Shut it, Zura. Me and tiny-tot here are having a conversation". 

"Who the fuck are you callin' a tiny-tot?" 

"Zura's right, guys!" Sakamoto then hopped on the ban wagon of "preventing these two idiots from killing eachother" with a grin and a friendly pat to their backs. "Let's all just get along and go for a few drinks when we're finished up here, 'kay? It's on me since you've all worked pretty hard tonight". 

With sighs and a soft spot for free booze, Gintoki and Takasugi both refrained from attacking eachother. They were all pretty tired anyway so it wasn't the best idea to start a two-man war in the middle of the room. Gintoki returned to his desk, first and foremost, to finish off his article while Takasugi went back to finish his own work at his own desk, quietly without any desire to disrupt eachother if they wanted to be done for the evening. Although his methods weren't disiplinary, Katsura had to respect Sakamoto's need to get inbetween the usual suspects who took out their exhaustion and irritation on eachother. They had relaxed a lot more recently and didn't find a lot of time to argue or fight during work and at home. And to both Katsura and the rest of the office those quiet moments were pure gold. 

... 

Once work was printed, stored away to be sent off to the newspapers, all four men left together for a bar they knew quite well. It wasn't in the area, but it was still fairly quiet. The bartender was quite a catch, too, when the owner wasn't the one behind the counter on his shift. So it was a joy walking through the door to see her shining blonde hair first thing, swaying as he turned her head and smiled at her regulars walking through the door. 

"Hey, boys. Good to see you again". 

"Hey, Momo". 

All four of them greeted her with smiles that were just as bright, relieved that she had a shift tonight while the boss was out at home, being ignored by the missus, wishing he got married to Momo instead, as any average, straight male would. She was that amazing in both personality and looks, but none of them would go as far as to get too close to her. She made it very clear that she had no interest in her customers. End of story. Bye-bye. Be seeing you. 

Sitting down comfortably at the bar, Momo approuched them, her nose piercing shimmering the light, shivering from the slightest movements. 

"So, what can I getcha?" 

"Ginjo-shu sake, Momo". Gintoki raised his hand, ordering first. 

"I'll just have the usual, daigingo-shu sake, if you don't mind". Then Takasugi, with a similar order of sake. 

"Rum and cola, please, Momo-chan, honey, sweetheart?" Then Sakamoto with his usual cocktail, expressing his awkward, but attempted flirting that would probably earn him a punch to the gut if he kept it up. 

"A fruit cocktail, please, Momo-san". And then Katsura, finally, with a serious expression over a fruity, girly drink. That just earned him a weird look from Momo, as many times as he ordered those kinds of drinks. 

"Er...Sure...Comin' right up. Sit tight, fellas".

Momo went straight to the display cabinet behind her, grabbing all the booze she needed, from memory. And the boys just watched her work her magic like a pro. 

"Momo's pretty great, huh?" One of them had to say it at least once tonight, and thus Sakamoto volunteered while she was occupied. 

"Oh, absolutely". 

"Can't agree with you more". 

"She alright". 

"Shut the fuck up, Zura". 

The atmosphere of fhe bar hadn't changed, as far as the boys were told. Even when they stepped into the bar for the very first time they didn't really feel out of place since there was plenty of men and women their age sitting around with friends, a lover, on their own and so on without any judgemental glares aiming towards the newbies who had just come of age and were legal to drink at an establishment like this. It was clean and well-kept, but not fancy or reserved for people who grew money on trees, 'cause they barely stepped into this place. It was more their style, to their comfort. Wouldn't have it any other way. 

"Here ya go, boys. Drink up". Momo came around with servings of colourful drinks in colourful cups and glasses. 

Gintoki and Takasugi received their sake with traditional patters painted on the flasks, Gintoki's covered in sky blue swirls whereas Takasugi's was patterened with a deep green, their cups smaller than the palm of their hand. Sakamoto thanked Momo for his rum and cola, conveying all of his charm that only earned a roll of the eyes and a smirk. Then Katsura gingerly received his fruit cocktail yet Momo didn't go out of her way to judge him for it. As long as money was put on the table-no credit cards allowed-she was happy. 

"You guys enjoy. I'm gonna go play waitress for a while, alright?" Momo left the bar to tend to customers, winking at the guys with one quick glance. 

"Sure, Momo. Be back soon, okay?" 

"Don't take too long". 

"We love you, Momo-chan~!" 

"Mn-hm...". 

"Zura, shut the fuck up already". 

"I didn't even say anything!" 

"Well, you're being rude. Momo is a lovely woman". 

"Yeah, even Takasugi agrees and the only thing that gets him up is maids". 

"You shut the fuck up too! Where the hell did you even pull that idea from?! Your asshole?!" 

"C'mon, you guys. You heard the nice lady: drink up". 

Sighing, Gintoki and Takasugi poured and sipped their sake quietly. No arguing. Everyone was far too tired to be putting up with this shit. A few sips of booze and their heads were cleared of stress, worry and the exhaustion. Maybe a couple of drinks would be better. But, considering the time of night and the exhaustion, it wasn't ideal to stick around too long. 

... 

"Aw, Zura, you leaving already?" A happier mood was injected into Gintoki's system with every sip of sake, and only on his second serving. By the time Katsura had finished his first drink, he decided to leave for the night. 

"Yeah, I'm tired, and I have college tomorrow. I can't let myself get drunk. Takasugi, you too". 

"Yeah, I know. I'm only gonna have two tonight, anyway". 

"You know what? I think I'll go too". Sakamoto, of all people, stood after only a drink and a half. He was perfectly fine to walk home, but it was so strange for him to go home so early. Gintoki was practically left speechless. 

"Oh, well, suit yourself, I guess? Although I expected you to wander off drunk with some girl to a love hotel". 

"Haha! You know I would, but I guess I'm not in the right mood. Hey, Momo, here're the bill for everyone's first drinks". Sakamoto brought out everyone's bill, paying Momo upfront. She was quite pleased. 

"Cool. Thanks, Sakamoto. You guys have a safe trip home, okay?" 

Katsura and Sakamoto left. As surprising as it was there was also this sense that it wasn't all that shocking. Sakamoto worked just as hard and, despite his usual cheer and energy, he became just as worn-out by the end of the day. The only people sitting at that bar was Gintoki and Takasugi, right beside eachother, not making any eye-contact as they sipped their second servings.

In their quiet moments, feeling no need to talk to eachother if an argument was afoot, they both could hear the entrnace to the bar open and their eyes naturally glanced over to the new arrivals. Their glances were supposed to be momentaru, and out of habit. But when taking a look at the new arrival, only one person, their eyes lingered around her as she radiated a sense of unfamiliarity. She looked naive but she knew exactly where she was as she lept straight for Momo upon seeing her behind the bar. 

"Ah, Momo-chan!" 

"Oh, hey, Hikari. I thought you weren't gonna turn up tonight. I was afraid you might get lost". 

"No, I'm okay. I've never been to this side of town, but it was worth it as long as I could see you again". 

Long-time friends, but from where exactly? This girl in her long, hot pink dress-with sleeves-and heels, with a face of innocence and naitivity couldn't possibly fit in here. She looked like a young woman fresh out of the countryside, ready to explore the "hidden wonders" of such a big city like Tokyo. If she tried to ask for directions from any random person in an area like this she'd get mugged or worse. She was even kind of vulneranle to the two googley-eyed guys sitting at the bar, although their intentions for the time being were very harmless. She seemed quiet, and you always hace to watch out for the quiet ones sitting alone, minding their own business, at the corner of the room. 

"Well, why not take a seat? Anything I can get for you?" 

"Uh...Oh, gosh...Umm...I guess just a white wine? Yeah, a white wine, please, Momo-chan". 

"You got it. Make yourself comfortable". 

"Thanks...". 

Gintoki didn't know about Takasugi, but he himseof was quite attracted to this girl. For her to order alcohol instead of flat water, she probably wasn't totally innocent. He was jumping the gun here with sex and excitement on the brain and in his dick, but the main thing right now was to talk to her, interest her, hope to see her again in the booth of a bar, drinking away, laughing before taking the fucking yellow brick road to a love hotel where they leave little chocolates on the pillow. Magical. Fucking magical. 

"Uh...So, you don't live around here?"...was what Gintoki wanted to ask, but...Takasugi was already on the yellow brick road the moment he grew the balls to speak to her! No wonder! He was sitting closet to this woman! Takasuuuuugiiii-...! 

"Huh? O-oh, no, I don't...". She was very shy towards Takasugi and tried not to make eye-contact. That was a plus for Gintoki, but not for long. 

"Haha, Hikari, don't be so shy. Takasugi isn't bad. He's quite friendly once you get to know him, trust me". 

"Eh? O-oh, I didn't mean to be rude. I'm sorry, I didn't know you were one of Momo-chan's friends".

"Ah, no, it's alright". What the heeeell?! Did he seriously like her too?! There was no way this anti-social bastard was actually talking to someone for the sake of making friends. Nooo way in hell. 

"Uh, I'm...Hikari Yukimura. It's nice to meet you". 

"Ah, Shinsuke Takasugi...". 

No way...Gintoki didn't even get to make an entrance, how did this guy already get to introductions? Maybe it wasn't too late...Leaning far back on hid chair, gripping the counter of the bar, Gintoki...made an entrance. 

"And I'm Gintoki Sakata. Another one of Momo's good friends". 

"Ah, oh....H-hi there...". Why the hell did she look more awkward talking to Gintoki? Because he was at a distance? Because he jumped on into the discussion that was only meant to be conducted between herself and Takasugi? The fuck?! "So, er, Takasugi-kun...Do you live around this area?" 

"Erm, well...". Takasugi moved seats in no time, bringing the conversation closer to Hikari with his sake and sudden attitude of a social butterfly, leaving Gintoki in the dark with Momo as his company. 

As he glared at them, shocked by the events that occured in no time flat, Momo had only just noticed Gintoki's body language and how he looked at Hikari. But instead of feeling bad for inrroducing Takasugi to her first, Momo sighed and crossed her arms, shaking her head. 

"So you like her too, huh?" 

"Ah-well, what do you think, Momo?! Maaan...". Gintoki sunk his head down, burying his face in his hands as he was left alone tonight, sort of. 

"Oh, cheer up. Not thar you woulda had a shot, anyway. Hikari isn't looking for a one night stand, like you are. She wants something more meaningful". 

"Pah! As if she's gonna get that from Takasugi". 

"Well then no one's getting any. End of story". 

"Haah...". The last time Gintoki slept with a woman...Well it was before he started working with Sakamoto, when he had more time to himself, to come home in the morning with this satisfied look on his face. He didn't fet many opportunities these days, and it almost felt like he was pulling straws. 

"C'mon, don't look so glum". Momo raised up Gintoki's head by his chin, smiling kindly as she always did. "Listen, you can talk to me all night if you'd like. Bar's starting to clear out anyway". 

"What, to just...talk?" 

"Yeah. Your friend is occupied, and so is mine. Why not? You're fun to talk to. And it's sure as hell better than talking to a buncha party animals in their thirties". 

"You get customers like that?" 

"Tch, yeah. Old men who think they're still eighteen, comin' in here for booze and sex with any female groups drinking diluted wine in the corner. Buncha losers if you ask me. Now, sit tight. I'm gonna clear up some glasses, collect my cash and I'll be right with you, okay, chief?" 

"Hah, uh...Yeah, sure...". 

Gintoki carefully watched Momo leave the bar, passing off a quick smile solely aimed at Gintoki. Momo was a classy lady. She was a little older than Gintoki, but with maturity there had to be class and experience somewhere. What a girl-No...What a woman. Too bad she saved herself for men outside the bar. 

... 

"I didn't know you used to be a swimmer...". 

"Yeah, well, it kinda explains why I've got nothin' in my upper body area, y'know? Swimmers aren't allowed to have big boobs". 

"Well, yeah, otherwise all the girls would either have black eyes or broken ribs after every contest". 

"Pfft hahahaha! Oh my god...Oh fuck...Yeah, yeah you're right". 

Maybe it had been half an hour to at least an hour since they talked back and forth about odd things, focusing mostky on eachother as time ticked on and the bar slowly grew more quiet. Momo was fun to talk to. It had been a long time since Gintoki had such a painfully hilarious conversation with a lady. It was even crude at times, and she just laughed. An amazing laugh that provoked some odd chuckles from Gintoki like he was doing stand-up, and she was the only precious little soul watching, and honestly enjoying herself. 

"So...". Gintoki began again, taking a sip of sake; third serving, still not drunk. "Why'd you give it up? Why give up swimming professionally for...this?" 

"Hehe...Well, it's kinda embarrassing. Promise you won't laugh? Because if you do you'll be going home with a broken nose". 

"No, no, I-...I could never laugh at you, Momo. Go ahead, why'd you quit swimming?" 

"I...It was because, when I was maybe sixteen, seventeen years old I had an operation. It was for scoliosis-y'know, the unnatural curviture of the spine". 

"Y-yeah, I know...". 

"Mine was pretty bad, and they did surgery; still got the titanium rods in my back, and a scar...But after all the pain I went through in hospital, just waiting to go home, barely able to move, I...I was afraid that if I went into the water again, I'd sink and I'd drown. That's some pretty deep shit, but you asked for it, y'know?" 

"Woah...Momo, you didn't have to tell me. You coulda just told me to shut the fuck up and that it was none of my business, I...Wow...". 

"Yeah...Pretty fucked up, right? The doctor's suggested swimming to build the strength back up in my back, but I was too afraid. I turned to yoga instead and in a few years I went back to normal, so...A-although the scar down my back is still pretty ugly". 

Momo didn't tell this story often. That was evident in her facial expression; her nervousness and reluctance to look Gintoki dead in the eyes for this. Instead she looked over to where her friend was sitting and snapped out of her daze.

"Hey, Momo-". 

"Oh, looks like Hikari left, too". 

"Huh...?" Gimtoki was confused, turning his head towards the area further down the bar to see only empty stools. In fact the whole place had cleared out while they had been talking. No Takasugi, and no Hikari. When did they even leave? "Oh, right...Well that's that...". 

"Oh, stop it. Don't start all that mopin' again after I cheered you up. If it makes you feel better, Hikari got bored real quick of Takasugi since he grew really tense and stopped talking. He looked pretty nervous to me, so he went home alone and left Hikari to mope while you were talking to me". 

"I would be mad that I didn't get to swoop in, but she probably didn't like me, anyway. Not that I care. Plenty of fish in the sea". 

"Aw, c'mon, Gintoki...I think you're quite the catch". 

"I try...". 

"Really, you are. You're witty, funny, smart and...Agh, fuck it. I'll be blunt. I think you're quite hot. Really attractive". 

Sparks flew in Gintoki's head, and his dick. No woman had called him "hot" before. Momo was the first, and she grumbled before admitting her thoughts about him, bluntly. There was no shame in this bar. Gintoki was quite astonished, staring at Momo with that exact expression: astonishment. 

"You...think I'm hot?" 

"Well, yeah, I do. You've got a great body and I actually like your hair. Reminds me of my cat, Oki". Without giving it much thought, Momo ran her fingers through Gintoki's hair, smiling as the feeling of fluff was comfortable between her fingers. 

But as they stared longer at eachother, their expressions changed and they appeared to be in a sort of trance. Momo slid her hand down, smoothly finding and cupping Gintoki's cheek. They were distracted by eachother's longing gazes and then...This wall between bartender and customer collapsed within seconds... 

Gintoki impatiently stood up from his bar stool, knocking it to the floor. He didn't pay attention to it as they both reacted at the same time, leaning into eachother for an instincive and lustful kiss. Momo rested her knee on the counter, climbing over for better reach. By the time she awkwardly made her way to Gintoki's end of the counter, parking her rear on it's surface, they had gotten into using their tongues with Momo's lipstick smearing a little bit over Gintoki's mouth. They held eachother, kissing in an almost sloppy fashion as the opportunity for sex with hardly any meaning was there to grab onto while it was in front of them. They had known eachother for nearly a year, not enough time to establish a proper relationship with someone you hardly paid a visit to, and soley for booze at the bar. But this was just a case of going all out in the heat of the moment.

Pulling away from this kiss brought them back into the real world, where they still had a bartender/customer relationship. 

"Haa, haa, phew...Um...Wow, er...". Momo was speechless. Gintoki wasn't any different, although he was more excited. "Haha, you're a really good kisser...". 

"Heh, you're not so bad either". As if to brush off those events, they shared a moment of quiet laughter, and Momo wiped off her smeared lipstick from Gintoki's lips with her sleeve. 

The heat of the moment was still there. It never disappeared with some awkward laughter after such an intimate kiss. Gintoki even went ahead for two little pecks, and got them, before the awkwardness came in again. 

"Uh, Gintoki...Do you wanna go that far, or...?" 

"What happened to the "I don't get involved with customers" rule?" 

"Consider yourself the first and only exception of that rule. I like you, but you know I'd never ask for anything more than-...". 

"Look, if you wanna do this, we can. It only has to be one night, and I'm feeling kinda down so it could help to spend some time with a woman who I get along with. I enjoy our time together so...I dunno, I guess it couldn't hurt to do what feel right, right?" 

"Heh, what, you're not nervous?" 

"Uh, yeah, kinda. But this isn't my first time, so don't worry about me bitching out or something. The only time I ever did that was when I found out she had a dick". 

"Hahaha...That-...That didn't really happen, right?" 

"Nah, I'm kidding around". 

"O-okay, then...Umm...Then, uh, I'll go close up shop, if you really wanna do this. You can wait upstairs in my room if you'd like". 

"You sure? Well...alright...". 

"Yeah...". 

"I'll...see you up there, then, I guess". 

Yet another moment of silence. And then another moment to kiss out of good measure, to set the mood again before Gintoki went his merry way upstairs to Momo's room for the first time. 

It had never felt awkward during the minutes before Gintoki essentially slept with a woman. There wasn't a lot of conversation before getting into bed whether Gintoki was on top or on his back. And during that night, like all the others, one person didn't stick around until morning. Gintoki didn't call it a night and sleep next to Momo after doing what they had to do. He left moments after it was over, looking foward to his next drink at the bar. That's how one night stands always went. But now... 

... 

Present Day... 

... 

"Hey, Hijikata, where did you put the condoms?"

"Bottom drawer".

Gintoki hadn't thought about his old sex life in a while, only because he was getting older and because he had Hijikata. There used to be so much energy and thrill. Not that there was none of that now, but with Hijikata things settled down easily and he felt more comfortable being with him, knowing that he was going to stick around all night and until morning. They were connected, bonded in a way that Gintoki had never had with anyone else. There was meaning behind their more intimate moments. And he could look back and honestly say that it was much better right now than back then. 

Gintoki walked out of the bathroom with a single condom in hand. He approuched Hijikata, who was still sitting on the sofa, waiting for Gintoki so that they could head upstairs and do what they had been waiting for all this time. But Gintoki was a little impatient tonight. So when Hijikata was getting up and off the sofa, he was gently pushed back onto his rear with an amusing look of surprise on his face that had Gintoki smirking. Licking his lips, saying absolutely nothing, Gintoki climbed up on of Hijikata's lap, wiggling his hips into a comfortable position. Hijikata was baffled, but he didn't allow himself to react badly. He took the situation calmly, even as Gintoki didn't bother to elaborate, wrapping his arms around Hijikata's neck. 

"Gintoki, you...Don't tell me you wanna do it here?" Gintoki shrugged, pressing the tip of his nose to Hijikata. He appeared to be quite thrilled. 

""Yeah, I guess. I'm a little impatient tonight, and, uh...I figured you could use a little a treat after all you've been through these past two weeks. I wanna make you feel good, Hijikata". 

"Gi-Gintoki-...!" Hijikata shut up, gagged by Gintoki's lips pressing against his in an almost forceful fashion. But it felt nice. Really nice, especially when they got their tongues and exploration of their hands into the mix. 

Hijikata hugged Gintoki, wanting more reach in their kiss as Gintoki seemingly tried to take the initiative. But he parked himself on Hijikata's lap, so did that mean... 

"Haah...Gintoki...". Hijikata was rhe one who got away, looking Gintoki in the eyes while softly rubbing his back. "How-...How do you wanna do this? I mean...". 

"Haha, Hijikata, I literally just told you...". Gintoki picked up Hijikata hand, lacing his fingers through, kissing the knuckles sweetly. "I'm giving you a treat tonight. I even prepared myself in the bathtub, so...". 

"Wait, you-...Ugh, Gintoki, there's no way you could have; the position's too awkward. If we do this without making sure, you'll hurt yourself". 

"I'll be fine. We just have to take it slowly". 

"But-...". 

"If it hurts, I'll tell ya straight away. Hm, I'm pretty lucky to have someone so caring do these things with me. You have a bigger caring side than I do, you know?" 

"Hah, where did that come from all of a sudden?" 

"Nowhere. It's-...It's nothing. I'm just...God, I don't think I've ever gotten so attached when it comes to stuff like this. I just want you to know that...I'm glad that I'm so attached to you. That sounds weird but I'm opening up here, saying all this from the heart". 

"N-no, it doesn't sound weird. It's fine...". 

"Good, 'cause I really wouldn't have this any other way...".

Their hands remained intertwind, although it slipped their minds at some point while they were together and, at this moment, staring into eachother's eyes with endearing smiles. Cupping Hijikata's cheek, Gintoki went in for another kiss. Looking back on it, Gintoki new that something had changed within him, or at least these new feelings had bloomed from the darkest reaches of his heart where he didn't dare to tread. In other words, being with Hijikata allowed him to be more expressive with affection and care rather than playing the cool, collected, sadistic Gin-san that he always was. Some things had changed, but he was still the same old person. 

And thinking about it now, he wondered if Takasugi had changed. Well, he didn't think about it right this moment while being undressed like a doll, kissing Hijikata passionately and getting it up. Of course he wouldn't. But at the very back of his mind, at another time, he wondered if Takasugi had changed at all after getting friendly with his editor and new best buddy, Bansai Kawakami. And he knew...He knew they were fucking. Didn't know when, didn't know how it came to that, but he knew they were doing it. Or maybe it was similar to the relationship Gintoki had with Hijikata. To be honest, it wouldn't surprise him. Those two seemed pretty close. It wasn't Gintoki's business, he simply suspected that. But, for the moment, it didn't cross his mind. What he focused on now was Hijikata, and the sound of the sofa creaking underneath with ever little movement. Right now, that was all he could concentrate on in a twisted, fuzzy little daze called "bliss". 

... 

A click of the lock, and the balcony door opened as Takasugi had followed the pitter patter of Kitty's paws on the glass. When he opened the door for her, she entered and received a gently pet to the head. 

"Hey, there, beautiful. Hah, you're chilled to the bone. Been exploring, hm? C'mere...". 

Shutting the balcony door, clicking the lock again, he picked her up from the ground, holding Kitty close, petting her cold, puffy fur. She purred, rubbing her head against Takasugi's cheek, digging her claws into his shoulder. It was pretty late, yet Takasugi was still up, writing away without paying any attention to the time or his sleep cycle. Bansai was bound to come home soon enough, and then that was his cue to stop working and go to bed. Why? Well, he had his reasons. Reasons he wouldn't admit otut loud. 

Taking a brief break from work, Takasugi sat down with kitty on the sofa. She curled up in his lap, purring as he gently pet her fur. 

Stepping away from the scene at the moment, it could be said that Takasugi thought about the past a lot more often than Gintoki did. Even now, even during the most peaceful moments of his life like petting the cat on a quiet evening, Takasugi looked back on what started it all, right through to what changed him into the broken man he was. Maybe that wasn't the right word. He didn't fall apart at every waking moment, just thinking about his past choices in guilt and regret. He only felt this way when reminding himself of the events that took place seven years ago, when he lost his beloved teacher and the people he used to call friends. That didn't come to mind tonight. He tried to avoid it when awake, as best he could. 

He often thought about his old relationship with Gintoki, feeling disgust most of the time. But there were a few particular moments when it felt like they were really friends. Only a few, but those were some powerful memories that repeated in his most quiet moments. And he wondered if things could've been different, if they hadn't made so many mistakes. Maybe now...They could still be hanging out over sake, talking about whatever, even arguing like they used to. But something changed all of that. And it may have been the thing that took Shouyo-sensei away...for good this time... 

... 

Seven Years Ago... 

... 

Takasugi had insisted on staying behind in the office that evening, with a pile of papers spread out in front of him. Gintoki, of all people, was the first snd last person to see Takasugi in such a frantic state. He had gone out a lot more, worked harder than ever, yet he refrained from telling anybody about it for the time being. Gintoki had come around at the right time to find out why he was acting so reserved and just plain strange for the past week or so. 

Being the only two people in the office as of this moment, they wouldn't exactly gain any attention for whatever Takasugi was hiding. So Gintoki took the opportunity to approuch him that night after taking a quick trip to the bathroom. He remained cautious, trying not to startle him as he made hismway over to Takasugi's desk. 

"Hey, Takasugi, mind telling me what you've got there?" He was blunt about it, and his sudden presence did alert Takasugi just a little bit. But Takasugi didn't make an effort to hide any of these papers. Instead he focused on Gintoki as he sat down before his eyes returned to the varies notes and age-old articles. 

"It's...Haah...Look, Gintoki, I know this looks sketchy of me, but I have my reasons to seem weird and anxious, alright?". 

"Well...You have been acting really weird the last few days. And if you won't tell anyone else, then tell me. If it's something you can't share with the rest of the office, then...You can talk to me. I won't say anything. Is this to do with work?" Takasugi gave a brief nod, and took a breath. 

"Look, Gintoki, I know you and I don't exactly see eye-to-eye, but...What I'm about to tell you is gonna be said in trust and confidence and you absolutely cannot say anything to anyone yet. Not yet, because this-...I...I have some things that will probably help us take down Tokugawa and his corrupt subordinates once and for all. And maybe t could save Sensei". 

"Really-...?" 

"But don't frea out just yet, because...I don't really have the evidence to offically back any of it up yet. You with me so far?" 

"Uh, yeah. Yeah, go on". 

Takasugi looked over the papers again, shifting through them as if looking for something in particular. This behaviour was not like Takasugi at all, so whatever he found must have been some serious shit for him to be so anxious. He collected a few notes and articles in hand, reading over them, speaking each written word out loud. 

"Okay...Um, first of all, there was a report about two months ago about a seventeen-year-old girl who stabbed a government official outside of a love hotel in the red light district with a kitchen knife. They blamed her parents and her teachers, saying that she was ordered to do it by propaganda activists. Her supposed "motive" being that they knocked down the bakery where she worked part-time. They even got a statement from her parents saying that she only used the money to buy clothes, make-up, etcetera". 

In other words they made this girl look idiotic, her reasoning for stabbing someone in the government being that she could no longer buy petty things because her workplace was demolished to make way for another business. 

"They actually claimed that shit?" 

"Yeah. Apparently the girl is still in juvy for it. But what the government failed to reveal was that the guy she stabbed was black-mailing her to date and sleep with him". 

"Holy fuck. W-well, how can you be sure?" 

"We investigated her school, and interviewed some of the kids there. Apparently one of them spotted her outside a love hotel with the official, and even snapped a few pictures. Anyway, as far as I heard she looked reluctant and was practically dragged inside after he slid money into her breast pocket". 

"Jesus...Do you have these photos?" 

"No, not yet. But I made some negotiations and the girl who took the photos said that she'll print them out as long as she gets some credit for it. She lives all the way in Sendai, so she's sending them by post. That's the evidence we need to show the truth about this girl and the stabbing, her real reason for it". 

"Yeah, why did she stab him exactly? If she'd gotten herself involved with compensated dating in the first place...". 

"As far as I know, she was bullied for it. A couple of cruel classmates placed flowers on her desk and told her to commit suicide for being a "slut", as they said. I'm guessing she lost it and took it out the guy who forced her into it". 

Showed just how cruel the world was, in many directions; from adolescents to adulthood. That poor girl. She was at fault for getting herself involved, but it couldn't have been her will to go so far. Takasugi shifted through more notes, placing the previous ones in a pile to the side of his desk. If he had hose photos, and exposed the government for it...But it couldn't have been enough. Luckily Takasugi had so much more. 

"Here's another one. A few years ago, a man was shot and killed in an alleyway by an unknown gunner. His possessions were stolen, so they treated it as a mugging. But about a week before, he spoke out about the government as part of a campaign set up a few years ago-just like what we're doing, but less discreet and more open. He revealed several rumors and scandals about Sada Sada Tokugawa, and gained a lot of interest from the public. The rumors were dropped after he was killed. It says here his name was Tatsugorou Terada. He was found by his friend, Jirochou Doromizu, as he died. They were part of the same cause. There isn't much there, but I don't think anyone's stupid enough to see this as a coincidence, do you?"

Gintoki shook his head, looking over all the articles himself. Takasugi had collected a lot that would be really damaging to Tokugawa and his subordinates. Tyere was no way they'd let him back into power after all of this was revealed. It wasn't just about their shitty laws and policies anymore. They were bringing damaging scandals into this. 

"Gintoki, there's plenty here about similar cases with Sensei; people arrested under suspicion of spreading propaganda when they have done no such thing. If we link all of these together, have the people listen...Maybe they won't have a choice, and they'll pardon Sensei. I just need to collect all the appropriate evidence, and then...". 

"Do you really think people will listen?" 

"They have to! You'd have to be blind to not see how fucked up they are, how corrupt these bastards are. Gintoki, with this, we can win. We can show everyone that here needs to be change in our government, and then once they force them out, we can save our teacher. That's the whole reason we started this". 

"I know...I know we did". Gintoki shifted through several notes and articles until something caught his eye among, well, the mess. He reached for it, and picked it out from everything else. It was a book. An all too familiar book, hand-made, old, but still intact. Gintoki smiled, dusting it off. "Can't believe you've still got this". 

"Do youmstill have yours?" 

"Uh, yeah, somewhere among my things. You've taken good care of this thing". 

"Of course I have. It's the only memento I got to keep of him, as well as the photo you saved". 

"Hm, yeah...".

"I know that things can never go back to the way they were, when we were kids, but do you think...Do you think we can live a normal life if we do bring Sensei back?" 

Gintoki hadn't thought about it. If they did save Sensei, what would life be like? It could never be the same as when they were children, considering everything those bastards had put him through, but maybe there would be some normality, eventually. Gintoki had also held onto the hope that their beloved teacher could be saved, despite being a little doubtful a couple years ago. He, too, wanted to believe that everything would turn out alright in the end. And that they could live "happily ever after", just like in their old stories. 

"I'd like to think so...". 

"I'm glad. Thank you, Gintoki". 

"Don't worry about it. And, hey, here's an idea, why not make a novel out of this thing one day?" Gintoki gently shook their old notebook in hand, emphasising what he meant. "Could be an interesting story". 

"Hah, a novel?" 

"Sure. After all this is done and outta the way, we can co-write a novel, if you'd like. With our skills I have no doubt it'll be a best seller. Authors make a shitton of money these days". 

"I'll, uh, think about it. Although if we work together, one of us will end up pulling our hair out". 

"Or eachother's". 

They shared a chcukle, fist-bumping eachother's shoulders playfully. Maybe this was one of the rare times that they actually got along. They were friends, let's be honest. Although most days that fact was unclear to strangers that had only known them for about a week. No one would ever guess that these guys were childhood friends. But they both acknowledged their friendship by now, although they fought most of the time. 

"So, uh, Gintoki...Ahem, I...I don't feel safe keeping this stuff here, in case someone finds it and prints it without evidence". 

"Well, where else are we gonna keep it?" 

"I have a pretty good idea, but you cannot tell anyone, alright? I'll collect the evidence we need, and then we can print it for everyone to see okay?" 

"Sure. Need help packing this up?" 

"Yeah, thanks". 

"Don't worry. This is just between us until you do what you have to do". 

"Good. That's for the best. We can't tell Zura or Tatsuma either-no one has to know". 

"Yeah, I got it. Let's just hide all this stuff away. If you've got a location in mind, then lead the way". 

"I do. Now come on. We have to lock this place up, too".

The stored every article and note inside a single binder, which was stuffed inside Takasugi's work bag for safe keeping. Together, they left the office, turning off all the lights and electrical power sockets before making their exit. The door was locked up tight, and with that they headed home under the cover of dark. Looking back on it, it was hard to remember if they missed anything. But according to the events that took place only weeks after, it seemed very clear that they did. 

Under Takasugi's desk there was a note, and a few odd scraps of paper that collapsed during all the shifted and organising. According to the scribbles made, there was evidence of Sada Sada Tokugawa using a prostitute to get into power. There wasn't much to go on, but there was evidence that Sada Sada had cut off the arm of one of his supporting men for falling in love with this woman. If anyone found out, that would definitely be the end of him for exploiting a woman trapped in the sex industry, as well as dismembering a man under his orders for being "disobedient". This one vital piece of evidence was left behind on accident, and it wasn't too long before it was found. It was too late to realise that it was gone, to be shown to the rest of Japan without evidence to officially bring Sada Sada down. Things could have taken a worse turn than they did, but as far as Gintoki, Takasugi and Katsura were concerned...nothing could be worse...Except for death. 

... 

Present Day... 

...

Admittingly, this had been the first happy memory Takasugi had regained about Gintoki. For the first time in a long time he remembered how close they really were despite the fighting and petty disagreements. Although he couldn't find it in his heart to want to return to those moments. Too much hatred, guilt, and regret dwelled within due to their own stupid mistakes. Takasugi didn't want to go backwards. Even when leaving others behind, he tried his best to move forward, although the past continued to drag along the road like a ball and chain. He dwelled, but it wasn't easy to let go, as much as he wanted to. 

As he read through a very old book of his, the front door to the apartment opened and Takasugi raised his head to see Bansai entered. He dumped his work bag on the floor to take off his shoes and any other outdoor wear before entering. He was surprised to see that Takasugi wasn't in bed yet. 

"You're still up? I thought you would have been asleep by now". 

"I was preoccupied. And I wasn't all that tired". 

"Is that so? Coming to bed soon?" 

"Uh, yeah, of course. Of course I am". Takasugi closed his notebook as Bansai approuched him, sitting with him on the sofa to take a breath. And to have a kiss. 

Bansai was the one who leaned in, and Takasugi was the one to close the gap for a light peck. They sat back for a moment, and Takasugi placed his notebook next to his lap, farthest away from Bansai. Didn't make a difference, though. Bansai noticed anyway. 

"What've you got there?" 

"Hm? Oh, it's nothing. Just...an old scrapbook. I found it lying around with all my other things". 

"I see...". 

Bansai didn't choose to ask more about it. He fell silent instead, wrapping an arm around Takasugi's back to bring him in a little closer. And he never once revealed a lot of his past to Bansai. But that wasn't really a good thing. Bansai trusted Takasugi with his life, and vise versa. He never wanted to talk about it before, but maybe it couldn't hurt to say something, to gain more trust, to allow Bansai to get a little closer.

"It's just something I've had since I was a child. Ah, after my folks disowned me". 

"What is it exactly? If you don't mind my asking...".

"Well, it's you, so of course I don't mind". Takasugi picked up his old notebook, sitting it on his lap, dusting off the front, tattered cover. "Uh, an old teacher of mine gave it to me. He taught me so much more than my parents or my private teachers ever did combined. He was important to me". 

"Do you wanna tell me what happened?" 

Takasugi had never opened up to anyone about this. And he doubted that Bansai could empathise with the exact situation, but maybe to some extent he could understand. 

"I...I lost him several years ago. It was tragic and I blame myself for what happened. I look back and I know it's partly my fault as to why he-...Sorry, I'm getting a little dramatic there". 

"Don't worry about it". 

"Anyway, this notebook is all I have left to remind me of him. It contains a bunch of elementary curriculums and life lessons scribbled at the corner of some of the pages. I really looked up to him, but...Now he's gone. I'm still having a tough time letting go". 

Bansai was quiet. He didn't give much of a reaction, but he wasn't expected to. Takasugi didn't expect him to hold him and say that everything was okay. Instead, Bansai sighed and scootched just a little bit closer to Takasugi. He was quiet for a moment longer, trying to collect his thoughts before actually speaking his mind. And what came out was something that Takasugi didn't expect at all. 

"I know that it's not the same, but...When my Mother disappeared, I was at such an age where I didn't comprehend those kinds of situations. I was angry when I was old enough to learn that she left and vanished off the face of the earth without a warning to me or my Father. And I was angrynat her for most of my childhood, without knowing the woman that well. I still don't know where she is to this day, but after a while I gave up on being pissed at her for never being there. It's easier to move on from things like anger and hatred once your older. My Father moved on pretty quickly, so I did the same as soon as I could". 

"You've never told me this before...I mean, I can never picture you as being a hatful person". 

"Looking back, I find it hard to believe, too. It's better not to dwell on things. This is obvious because it ruins lives and it's damaging. When I look at you on your worst days I can't help but think that you might be holding something back. That there's more to it than just a bad day. And the nightmares you have...Are they anything to do with this teacher of yours?" 

"You could say that, yes". 

"As hard as it may be, you have to try and let go, Shinsuke. I don't want to see you get hurt over and over because of the past. I'll help if you want". 

"How so? How can you-". 

"Focus on me. Make memories with me. I can't tell you to forget your past altogether, but maybe you'll forget the pain if you just...look ahead, I daresay. That's all you can do. And I'll always be here for you. I'm sure you know that already, don't you?" 

"...Y-yes, of course". 

"Alright. So, try to look past it, and move on. If you need anything...". 

"You'll be there". 

"That's right. Now come here". Bansai pulled Takasugi in much closer until they were cuddling. Takasugi wasn't reluctant at all, and rested his head against Bansai's chest like a pillow. He accepted it openly, listening to the sound of Bansai's heart-beat, his head resting against his chest like a pillow. Soft...Calm...Even. 

"So...". Takasugi began, receiving a kiss on the temple. "How was work today?' Takasugi managed to ask this, although a little dazed; caught up in the soft sounds of Bansai's heart thumping quietly. 

"Good. It was good. I looked over your manuscript and there are no problems whatsoever. Takechi set the next deadline for next month, I daresay". 

"I wouldn't have expected anything else...". 

"How was your day?" 

"Dull. What else is there to add?" 

"Well, when we both have time, I was thinking about going out for dinner. It's been a while since we had a date". 

"Sure...That sounds nice". 

Perhaps this was a part of "moving forward". Living his life with Bansai, his friend and lover who honestly brought out the best in Takasugi. Yes, Takasugi stil had a better side, somewhere. Bansai was as supportive as they come, and it was greatly appreciated on Takasugi's part. He couldn't have asked for anyone else to talk to about this stuff. And this was the first time he was so open about his past, even if he didn't share ever last detail. For a moment, Bansai almost sounded like Gintoki when talking about moving on. He was correct anyway. Bansai's words were so simple, and the task of letting go had proved to be difficult but maybe with a little time the past would remain in the past. 

Maybe one day he could forget his guilt, although he wondered about his relationship with Gintoki. If he could let go of his guilt, if he could move on just as Gintoki had done, then would their relationship ever change? Doubt remained. In his mind, he couldn't picture himself forgiving Gintoki. Not after...Not after what happened. He couldn't understand why it happened, and he didn't know if his questions would ever be answered...But for now, he didn't want to forgive Gintoki. He couldn't...And when being lectured by people like Bansai, Shouyo-sensei and Gintoki himself for moving forward in life, Takasugi felt foolish. But at the same time, his reason for hating Gintoki so remained solid in his eyes. Could anything change his mind after all these years? 

... 

("Sensei! Sensei, no! Please! No!...Nooooooooo!!") 

("...-stop! That's enough!") 

("I'll kill you! I swear to god, I'll kill you, you bastard!") 

("Takasugi, stop it! Get off of him now!") 

("Murderer! You fucking murdereeeerrr!")

The screams ringing out in Gintoki's head brought him back into the present. His eyes shot open, meeting with a darkened ceiling...Hijikata's bedroom. He was in Hijikata's bedroom. His chest was rising and falling rapidly, is skin cold with sweat. He sighed when coming back to the waking world, when relaxing and realsiing that it was all just a nightmare. A very real nightmare...He could barely get the images and the voices out of his head. He felt alone, like all the other nights that he woke up startled, in a cold sweat, replaying the images of a nightmare that happened seven years ago. But the truth was he wasn't alone tonight. 

Soft lips pressed against his cheekbone, and a hand cupped the other, the thumb carressing the skin. Feeling a little more secure, Gintoki overlapped that hand with his, lacing the fingers through as he received many more kisses. 

"You okay?" Hijikata whispered by his ear, leaving yet another kiss for good measure. Gintoki took a deep breath, exhaling, turning his head to face Hijikata. And boy did he looked concerned. "You're sweating and you were mumbling a little bit in your sleep". 

"I'm fine, just...Had a nightmare, it was...stupid". 

"Of course it's not stupid. If you don't wanna talk about it, I won't force you but my Mom used to say that talking about it to someone helps. But that's just me". 

"No, I appreciate the concern. That's really sweet of you, actually. But, I dunno, I don't really explain my dreams to people. It's uncomfortable". 

"That's fine, you don't need to tell me. But if you'd like I can make some tea or warm milk to help calm your nerves". 

"Did your Mom say that was good for nightmares too?" 

"She did, actually. Don't make fun of me". 

"I'm not gonna make fun of you. And I'm okay, really. Just a little startled". 

Hijikata grasped Gintoki's hand firmly, close to where Gintoki's heart was, in comfort. He could feel it pound like a primal drum, but out of tension on fear of his nightmare. With Hijikata by his side, it was easier to relax and put the memories of his nightmare aside for just a moment. The silence was unbearable, knowing he would have some trouble getting to sleep. So he talked, and he steered clear of the details. If it was Hijikata, talking about this stuff was a lot less uncomfortable. 

"I...I've had the same nightmare for as long as I remember. Like I said, I don't really talk about it but, frankly, I feel like I can tell you anything". 

"Of course you can". 

"Mm, well...This nightmare...It's the same everytime. And all I feel from it is regret, wishing I could have made other life choices, wondering if things could have been different, mainly between me and...Takasugi". 

"...". 

"A lot has changed, and I'm the kinda person that doesn't dwell on the past. Yet there's some things I can't exactly move on from". 

"I actually know exactly how you feel". 

"I know you do. That's why we make such a great pair: understanding and empathy. Am I right?" 

"Yeah, pretty much. But, Gintoki, everyone learns to move on one way or another, whether in a few days or several years". 

"Definitely, yeah. You're right. Although it's easier for some more than others. And I do wish that...people like Takasugi can move on from the past, 'cause I don't wanna see him sink into regret with no hope of a future whatsoever. If it was up to me, we'd be good buddies again...Talking over sake, arguing like...we used to. It's not as easy as that, though". 

"Whatever happened between you two, I'm sure you'll work it out eventually. You've both grown up, haven't you? Maybe if you just, I dunno, talked then it'll be easier for you to move on". 

"Maybe...Thanks, Hijikata. I really appreciate that". 

"I'm glad. Now, why don't we go back to sleep? I've got work tomorrow, remember?" 

"Whoops. Looks like I'm keeping you up. Sure, let's get to sleep. Doubt I'm gonna have another nightmare after talking to you". 

"I hope so. Have a good sleep". Hijikata kissed Gintoki's cheek, snuggling up as comfortably as he could, still grasping Gintoki's hand. 

He had already come to close his eyes. Then again he was just as tired as Gintoki was. And with the silence settling in, Gintoki closed his eyes and waited for unconsciousness to take him away from the waking world once more. Hopefully his mind would end up in a better place instead of his broken, dark memories. While still awake, although with his eyes shut, he returned to wondering if things could have been different. He wondered if things could be different if he was left alone in a room with Takasugi and they just started talking again. Would their relationship gradually change? Sounded like wishful thinking, but it wasn't impossible, was it? If Gintoki could move on from the past then why couldn't Takasugi? What happened all those years ago affected them both, tore them apart in more ways than one. If there was even the slightest chance that they could both move on from that and start talking again, then Gintoki honestly wouldn't hesitate to grasp it. They were good friends, once... 

("Gintoki...Promise me something..."). Good friends. ("No matter what happens, don't give in. If I ever lost you as a subordinate and a friend...") 

("What's with that? You gettin' all emotional on me now? But I guess we're no different. I don't wanna see you giving in either. I don't want to lose you either, Takasugi") 

("Haha, now who's the emotional one?") 

("Hey, you started it!") 

Happier memories echoed in Gintoki's mind, and he felt at ease. Maybe one day...Now that things had changed, now that his heart was much lighter maybe...Maybe there was a small chance that Gintoki could keep his promise. 

("Okay, fine. You got it. I promise not to bail on you if you promise me, too"). 

("Okay, fine. I promise"). 

("Pinky swear...?") 

He hadn't thought about it until now. But he couldn't possibly avoid it. If he ever had the opportunity, then Gintoki was willing to treat Takasugi to a drink. Then maybe something could go back to normality...Even without their beloved teacher to guide them... 

("You are such a child. But, whatever. Pinky swear...You doofus"). 

("You're a doofus...!").

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I. Loved. Writing this. Holy crap that was so much fun. The Joui 4 gives me life, honestly. 
> 
> And I'm sure you're all wondering about what exactly happened with Shouyo in this, and I can tell you that I'm getting to that part. Slowly but surely I'm building up to that. I just need to put it in at the right moment in the right chapter. It'll come up soon enough, I promise. 
> 
> Until then...32nd chapter fun next week. Bye! :D


	32. Siblings are Generally Supposed to Look Out for Eachother (Part 1)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is late. Very, very late. I had my reasons, though. One of them being a busy personal life. The other is that this chapter was really difficult to...wrap my head around. I wrote quite a bit of it and then saw it was shit, and I came back to it to try again. This was difficult to write out. I'm not gonna lie. This was not easy. I had to go back on a lot of scenes and fix them because they seemed stupid or I didn't write the characters out too well. It sucked, pretty much. But I hope this chapter was worth going back to, because I wanted to write more character development before I delved deeper into the GinHiji stuff. 
> 
> So...Please be kind to me. I tried my best with this, and if it's not good enough in your personal opinion, please keep it that way. You can tell me if anything seemed unfitting or weird in the chapter, but spouting hate is just a waste of your time, and my time. I've only had one hate comment so far, and to be frank, it was stupid and it required nearly no thought to write. 
> 
> So, here we go. If this chapter is shit, don't waste ten to five seconds to tell me. If you do like it, that's great. I'm glad. Really, because the majority of you have been really supportive. If someone doesn't like my fanfic', all they have to do is keep quiet, click off the fanfiction and read someone else's. That's all...It's fine. I'm done talking now...

"It's kind of a shame...Seeing you leave in the evening rather than the morning".

Not a single shred of Gintoki's tone or face expressed the need to sulk or whine. Five minutes ago he was satisfied, intoxicated by the rush and the sensations parading around his body like gay pride was going on down there. Or in this case, "heterosexual-with-a-very-special-exception" pride? Putting together that sentence wasn't worth it. He felt good, let's put it that way and leave it alone. All tension had vanished, as the memories of his novel would soon enough. With this giddy, innocent little fascination, Gintoki watched Hijikata get dressed into his uniform. When opening his mouth, Hijikata paused and turned his head. Gintoki was smiling, his head snuggling comfortably into the pillow. The same scent was all over it, yet he resisted from taking a deep inhale out of courtesy for the owner of such an aroma. 

"It can't be helped". Turning his back to Gintoki again, Hijikata continued with the simple task of buttoning up his shirt. "I already told you that gang activity is rampant. Lately it's like the other gangs are disappearing, and-hah-coincidentally enough, Kamui's gang is growing rapidly. Oh I wonder how that could be". 

His sarcasm was unfunny. It wasn't aimed to make Gintoki laugh. Hijikata sounded a little more frustrated, especially with the higher-ups in his work force pressuring the Shinsengumi to make a move on the gangs of Tokyo...Or so Gintoki heard. The police department in Tokyo wasn't that big. Wide-spread over the city to cover all areas, yes, but not big enough to take down the increase in gangs, especially Kamui's. And apparently the district police couldn't do anything without the assistance of Isaburo Sasaki's team, the Mimawarigumi. 

Many spies of the police were working on scouting areas around the slums, where the gangs were rumored to have taken shelter. Some of the work was risky, but necessary. It felt like they were dragging out the inevitable; that being the death of a citizen or cop or anyone due to the recklessness of Kamui's gang. There was so much pressure to track down Kamui, more importantly. If he was taken down, the rest would eventually fall too. So much stress, pressure...And it was all visible in Hijikata's body language. 

"Oi, don't get yourself worked-up so much. The doctor warned you about stress and anxiety, didn't he?" 

The sheets of the bed rustled, and the matress creaked. Gintoki had gotten up, his soft, warm hands massaging Hijikata shoulders, and his even softer, warmer lips tickled the nape of his neck and the back of his head. 

"I know. But, Gintoki, I have good reason to get worked-up. What with Kamui's gang prowling around...I'm trying to keep a level head, and it isn't easy with Sasaki breathing down my neck every shift and-". 

"Hey, hey, shh...Shhh...". Gintoki hugged Hijikata from behind, tightly, shutting him up before he spouted any more uncharacteristic nonsense. "Take it easy, Mr Policeman. The Demonic Vice-Chief wouldn't get so anxious over a silly, little gang dicking around with spray paint and baseball bats". 

"It isn't as simple as that". 

"Realistically, no, but you've gotta be tough and bite your tongue when it comes to Isaburo Sasaki. C'mon, tough guy, you can handle it. If they are in the slums, as you say, then that narrows it down; you're not searching in the widest area of Tokyo, just a fraction of it". 

"Yeah, that is true. We have made a few arrests of gang members, but none of them seem to know where Kamui is". 

"Hey, it's still progress, right?" 

"Also, we're investigating potential hide-outs, and once we have a plan and preparation, we're going to begin a stake-out in order to take most of them down, and hopefully Kamui as well. We'll need a S.W.A.T team for that, on Sasaki's side which is stationed in Tokyo". 

"A S.W.A.T team...Pretty heavy duty for a gang". 

"Gangs are unpredictable, Gintoki. And, knowing how large the gang must be, a heavy duty team is necessary. Sasaki's trained them quite severely, too". 

"He sounds more like an army general than Chief of his own police department". 

"Kondo-san and I are on the same page, although our attitudes are very different from Sasaki's". Moving away from Hijikata, Gintoki allowed him to slip on his uniform's tie and jacket smoothly. He adjusted it, dusted off the shoulders and straightened out his tie. "Haa, alright. I'm gonna go to work. And, uh, I'll see you tomorrow-or I'll try to". 

"Break a leg out there, Mr Policeman". 

"Thanks. I'll, uh, try to bring back something sweet for you". 

"Ohh, well...Since you're offering, I really can't refuse. If you can't, I don't really mind. Focus more on your work". 

"I plan to. But if I do get the time, I'll buy ice-cream or strawberry-based candy if you want". 

"How sweet of you to spoil Gin-san. I'll take you up on that offer, but-". 

"Work's important, I know. I'm even surprised to hear you say that". 

"I work my ass off, just like you but for a totally different career".

That wasn't incorrect, but neither could fully understand the concept of eachother's careers, thus their opinions were slightly biased; they both worked over-night sometimes without much sleep; exceeding amounts of stress and neglected health, at times, not always. Both jobs were difficult in their own way. 

Hijikata turned and provided Gintoki with a good-bye kiss before heading off to his night shift. A salute-like wave passed by as Hijikata exited Gintoki's bedroom. Silence naturally took over the atmosphere, as did this sense of abscence; Hijikata's, of course. The bed would practically be empty, yet the scent would still linger on this pillows and sheets. Gintoki got inbetween them with eagerness, hugging the pillow, snuggling into it as he pretended not to take a creepy little sniff of Hijikata's side,meven when alone. It was embarrassing...But to be fair it wasn't the first time. Being a man of little shame, Gintoki buried his face into the pillow and inhaled deeply. He felt refreshed and relaxed under such a warm smell that numbed his senses for a while. If this wouldn't put him into a peaceful state of sleep, then what the hell will? 

... 

The slums of Tokyo was a small section of the whole city, cut off from the rest of it due to the broken architecture and uninhabital living spaces. Almost a year ago the current Prime Minister of Japan, Shige Shige Tokugawa, had made plans for renovation on these buildings to help decrease homelessness in the city. The only problem was the gangs that paraded the slums like it was their hometown. It wasn't. It was territory to them. Dangerous territory. Most of them walked around the slums, whereas a few other gangs walked around the city to make their appearance clear to the public eye. Kamui's gang...Well, they were around the streets at times. But they were nowhere near the slums.

In an old warehouse, on the edge of the city, where the old docks where, Kamui made his hide-out within the walls of these warehouses, built together for when fishermen still brought their income in barrels, and the company running the warehouses needed plenty of workers and space to prepare fish for selling. The smell was still around, but it was easy to adjust to with time. Kamui made this his hiding place, out of everwhere else in the city. The old tenements in the slums was a place to live, but he rarely visited as there was always a risk of getting caught by police out on their patrol, amking more arrests to the thugs causing trouble out of boredom or their hunger for attention by the public. Those gangs were not originally a part of Kamui's. In fact, they were challenged to join. 

Kamui craved strength and power over those whom he considered weaklings. The gang leaders who tried to gain attention from the city were considered weak in Kamui's eyes, yet their bodies were strong and they could get violent if provoked to do so. And, well, Kamui provoked them. He gained power over them by physically fighting a gang's strongest members, including the leader. It was like saying "we're stronger; cross us or ally us". His appearance and height may have lacked intimidation, but when it came down to the fights, Kamui held nothing back. Abuto stepped in when things got uglier than they already were; when Kamui was close to giving his opponents brain damage or an early death when throwing punches or kicks, aiming mostly for the head like he was in a "it's kill or be killed" kind of zombie flick.

As of now, Kamui was the strongest gang leader in Tokyo...Hoping to be the last, eventually. 

The warehouse around this time was crowded with both men and women surrounding the area, doing their own things which either consisted of smoking, drinking, painting graffiti on the walls and floors or discussing personal matters within the gang, or other, rival gangs. Activity was low right now as the police were looking specifically for vandals to acts of assault, as well as every other crime to occur in this city behind the shadows. Before, gangs in Tokyo were underground and they never made their existence clear to the public or the police. But ever since Kamui's clique in paticular grew, there was a lot more awareness, and fear. They were a target, this caution was required in these times. The police weren't the only ones being careful when it came to territory. But the thing about caution...With Kamui's gang, caution seemed to be becoming more and more...fickle. 

"Kamui...!". 

The back exit of the warehouse slammed open, echoing, as did the voice booming inside, searching for Kamui, and only Kamuo, with both anger and frustratjon clear in their harsh tone. Kamui sat on his cosy little pedestal made of an old office desk and crates stored underneath to keep it from collapsing, as one of the legs had been dismembered a long time ago. With an aloof smile, Kamui faced this person, recognising the voice easily, among the many other members of his gang that, frsnkly, were wuite forgetable. But this man...Oh, no. Not this guy. 

"Ah, Osamu. Good to see you again. You left too soon, before I could tell you to stay out of the slums. The cops sure love to ride around there, looking for us. I was hoping they wouldn't find anyone, and it seems I was right". 

"That's what I'm here to talk about, ya jackass! Those pigs just arrested a few of our men 'cause they were setting fire to a garbage can in the street. I thought you said the cops wouldn't come after us". 

"I did say that, and that statement still holds water, Osamu. I said they couldn't get us, our gang, our big, happy family. I said nothing about the followers who chose to join us, who chose to remain in the slums. It's their own fault if they're found vandalising when I didn't give any authority for them to do so. Not that I need to, but...". 

"We lost some strong guys! Now they're gonna get questioned by the cops and reveal our whereabouts!" 

"I don't think so. Wrong again. I never told any of them about our little rabbit burrow. This place belongs to our gang, not their's". 

"They are in the gang, aren't they?! The hell are you thinking letting them take away our numbers?! If this keeps up, we won't be able to take over this city, will we?! Sounds like you're half-assing your position as leader".

What a straight-forward judgement, and right in front of the other members who witnessed this scene unfold with curious eyes. Kamui simply smiled, and made it clear that this statement did not bother him in the slightest. 

"I'm a leader of the Yato, Osamu. It was partially Housen's will that someone strong was to take over, and I was the best candidate. Even without his consent upon dying". 

"Fuck Housen's will! I don't get you at all! Why throw away numbers when the cops are already investigating us, arresting us on the spot for the most minor acts on suspicion of being gang members! We're shitting ourselves over here! Those bastards are supposed to fear us! Not the other way around!" 

"I'm sure, by now, the police at least feel cornered, what with the numbers in our gang growing". 

"There'll be no point to that if we're caught! Shouldn't we go out there and show 'em who's boss?" 

"How stupid can you be, honestly...". 

"Then what?! How the fuck are we gonna take over this city like you promised way back when Housen kicked the bucket?!" 

"I have no obligation to reveal my plans to you, Osamu. I've been told that I'm a reckless individual, but I'm not stupid. Everything will be ready in due time. All things come to those who wait, as they say".

"Tch...Whatever. Soon enough your patience will bite you in the ass, Kamui...". Osamu stuffed his hands into stitched up pockets, turning his back to his leader with a disgusted attitude. "I'm the kinda guy that takes action immediatly; make it quick and painful for the assholes who stand in my way. If you're not careful, you-gyah!" 

Before finishing his little threat, Osamu was kicked, hard, in the leg. He fell to his knees, his hair grabbed from behind with tremendous force. Kamui was the obvious culprit with no intention to hide it. Everyone was watching by this point. This time around, Abuto had no desire to step in and stop the idiot from killing someone. Too much of a hassle these days. And this looked more like a warning from Kamui. 

With his fingers clutching greasy locks of over-jelled hair, Kamui walked around and faced Osamu with a smile. He looked genuinally terrifying in this image, looking down on Osamu sadistically like a man intending to kill and to indulge in such an activity. But it had not yet come to that. 

"If I'm not careful I what, Osamu? What were you going to say? Are you trying to say that I'm an asshole getting in your way? Wanna get rid of me? Try it...I dare you". 

Kamui's voice was strong and cynical, spreading the fear through blood-scented breath. Of course, that could have easily been Osamu's imagination. But he was more pissed off than scared. With that in mind, Osamu shoved Kamui away and stood to his feet in a rage. He stormed out, back towards the rear exit with nothing more to add in case he'd provoke a brawl out of anger and disapproval of Kamui's leadership. After seeing Kamui fight, he didn't want to get his ass kicked in front of everyone. He knew he wasn't as strong, despite being older, and it pissed him off to brand new levels. Kamui was seriously pissing him off. The same could be said on both sides, actually. 

A little disappointed with the results of this anti-climactic confrontation, Kamui returned to his pedestal with a sigh exiting his lungs. 

"I almost wish that he would put up more of a fight. And Osamu is the bull-headed type, too. Such a shame". 

"He's not wrong, y'know". Abuto wasn't one to be afraid of Kamui's attitude and capabilities. In fact he often rolled his eyes during Kamui's infamous antics of generally being a total nuisance or tyrant towards other gangs, and sometimes his own. "Sooner or later the followers you gathered through fights and challenges will wanna take action against the police eventually". 

"That is true. And if they wish to move on their own, that's their responsibility. It's their fault if S.W.A.T teams tazor them, knock them to the ground, spray mace into their eyes or potentially shoot them dead. I didn't make any promises about taking down the police, did I, Abuto?" 

"I didn't hear anything like that, either. As I recall, that was Housen's goal". 

"It was. Good boy, you remembered". 

"Can you quit treatin' me like a dog? I'll box you, you noisy brat". 

"Do that and I'll tear off your other arm, by hand. Aha...Ahaha". 

Again, rolling his eyes, Abuto remembered what a brat Kamui was. But for the kid's own good, Abuto stuck around for as long as either of them could remember. Kamui had definitely changed from an annoying little rabbit to an annoying, violent, beastly, narcisstic little rabbit. And his plan...Just what the hell was going through his thick skull? Abuto was curious himself, and had some sort of authority that allowed him to receive a straight answer. 

"So why are you allowing the cops to arrest other gang members? You're the one who gave them the slums as a hide-out, after all. Weren't you aware that the cops would be looking for you there?" 

"Wow, you're on fire today, Abuto. I'm impressed. Really". 

"Enough of the sarcasm, brat. Explain yourself. Why allow the police to diminish our numbers? People are talkin' about working together to take down the police but you, on the other hand, don't really seem to-...Wait...". 

It caught on. The theory sprung to mind, and seeing Kamui's unfazed facial expression right now made that theory, that idea, into fact. 

"Yes, Abuto?" 

"You...You don't give two shits about taking down the police, do you?" 

"Not at the moment, no". 

"So what's the point in all this? How come you're fighting gang leaders or members in waves to show strength and power? Wasn't this your method to make them join up?" 

"I didn't say they could join either. I said they could be allies, didn't I?" 

"Ugh, this is so painfully odd and confusing. I think I'm getting a headache...". 

"I suppose you do need an explanation. I fight rival gangs to show that I am the strongest gang leader, and that I can easily take control using force if I had to. I give them the option to be allies with our gang, but I said nothing about being in the gang. See, there aren't many cliques in Tokyo, but the ones that do exist have their own ideals. Some crave money, which they gain through larcany. Some gangs take pride in recognition for minor crimes that they commit in patterns. And then there's a gang that is infamous for kidnapping and raping young girls. Of course that case took place a few years ago, and a few members were already arrested and charged. But Housen's gang, the Yato, craved strength more than anything. To be number one at all costs". 

"So what exactly has this to do with the arrests? Unless, by "number one" you mean-". 

"Yes. The strongest gang in Tokyo. These rivals, their ideals, their pleasures...They frankly make me sick or bored to tears. I've already challenged them and won in fair fights. I don't need them anymore, do I? As much as I love a good fight, those guys aren't very challenging. It's boring, so killing them off in order to become the strongest is too easy. So why not let the cops do all the dirty work for me? The way I see it, those gangs are just punching bags that wear out far too easily; cheap and easy to break after a few sucker-punches. One day I would like a challenge, so with our gang, the Yato, as it is we could potentially take down as many police officers as possible, hopefully in the highest positions". 

"Are you serious? You really are insane, and stupid". 

"I only agree with half of that statement, Abuto. And, yes, of course I'm serious. But we're taking our time. With the police running around the slums, it gives us some time to prepare. They'll find this place eventually, and once they do...I suppose I can keep that a secret". 

"Whatever, keep it from me. Just don't come crying to me when the S.W.A.T teams hand your ass to the higher-ups on a silver platter".

"No need to worry about that. I'll be ready".

Abuto could only sigh due to his leader's endless stupidity, and the illness he was burdened with: totally insanity. Just what the hell did his old man do to him? What did juvy do to him? Too much. Far too much. 

...

Gang members hung around the outside of this base as the pungent stink of cigarettes built up around such an enclosed area got to them. Only a few remained outside tonight, talking among themselves when there came a cry of rage, and the violent rattling of a nearby trash can as it was kicked to the ground. The horrific bellowing of metal and concrete reached their ears, and an extremely pissed off Osamu met their gazes. The guy was raring for a fight with a big, tough punching bag, but that was nothing new. 

"Osamu, what's up with you? Did someone spike your vodka, or what?" 

"It's that goddamn...brat running this whole show! Who the fuck does he think he is?!" 

"What're you talking about? What about Kamui?" 

"He's doing jack-shit for this gang! Housen said we'd take over this shit-hole of a city with numbers and strength, but ever since that Chinese Kaiser came into the mix, everything's fucked! Gangs are getting arrested by government dogs! We're getting cornered more and more by the day! And all we do is sit on our asses, smoke, drink and play cards. That's it!" 

"Calm down, I don't think Kamui would have the other cliques ally with us for nothing. He has to have something planned when it comes to taking down the cops". 

"Even if he is, he's wasting too much time! We're losing chances to attack, and those dogs are getting cockier! Word is they might be investigating the slums, looking for our base". 

"Seriously...?!" 

"How did ya find that out?!" 

"A couple of guys saw a patrol car making rounds around the slums. That's all I've got, but they must have balls to enter there even when the government are too scared to go in and renovate the place. Well this is the last straw. I swear to god I will not go back to prison! We...We have to attack first, somehow, show those bastards that we mean business". 

"How do you suppose we do that?" 

"I dunno...But I'll figure something out. Unlike Kamui, we need numbers. We'll gather a few guys from the slums and...I wanna get as many guys from Kamui's side to join us. The only thing standing in our way is that dictator of a leader. We deal with him first". 

It was shocking to see someone, a gang member, act so confidentally when discussing potential mutiny of Kamui and his allies. But, at the same time, these gang members were fearless and crazy enough to do anything thrilling, especially if it gave them power. And going up against Kamui...What a challenge. What an exciting challenge. 

"You wanna go to the slums, then?" 

"No, not yet. But I feel like blowing off some steam. I'll figure out a way to deal with that China Boy bastard for now". 

... 

Only after sitting in the same spot for half an hour did Kagura realise just how freezing it was outside, even without snowfall. It had all melted a couple days ago and not a single snowflake had fallen since. Her reasons for waiting outside under a closed restaurant's overhang at nine in the evening were simple. She was invited to a sleepover with a few friends, but one of them invited her boyfriend so that everyone could meet him and, suddenly, their original conversations and planned activities for the night became irrelevant. No studying for exams, no video games on Nintendo, no midnights snacks. And it was boring to see these girls crowd around this boy like moths to a flame, with googley eyes and drool pouring from their mouths. 

She couldn't understand what was so interesting about him. Just another pretty boy picking out a lucky girl to date and sleep with before they reached high school. Conversations about him were boring, looking at him and at them was boring. It all seemed so pointless, at least at Kagura's age. She only had one boyfriend but nothing ever really happened. Gintoki said that Kagura would be more interested in things like relationships when she was old enough to understand them. But right now there was only a sense that she would constantly be brought out of the loop whenever those girls talked about boys and make-up and karaoke dates on Sundays. 

This whole time, Kagura had been waiting. Due to Gintoki's date with Hijikata, she couldn't call him to pick her up. She could, but she didn't want to disturb him. The next best thing would be Shinpachi or Otae, but the boss lady was working late and Shinpachi was focused solely on studying this month. She could have called anyone else, but she resorted to the very bottom of the list with spite and frustration on her mind. And this was the only person to pick up the phone, with nothing else to do in their spare time. 

"There you are. Geez, you are bothersome". 

Kagura shifted her eyes away from the screen of her phone, instinctively putting it on sleep mode when her "savior' aerived to walk her home and keep her safe from kidnappers or murderers. This...This was her last resort: Sougo Okita. Of course it was. 

"Finally. What took you so long?" 

"I walked from my apartment to a part of town I rarely visit. You think it was easy to find you? Well, I'm here now so quit complaining and lets get a move on. Danna would be worried if he knew you left on your own". 

"Well he doesn't, and he'll know that you walked me home. So everyone wins". 

"I don't. I've got stuff to do tomorrow, and I don't wanna be exhausted 'cause this kept me from sleeping". 

"Maybe you should quit complaining. It isn't even that late". 

"For a college student, and apprentice police officer, yeah, it is pretty late. Let's hurry up so I can go home already...".

Okita's words were mean and harsh, acting like Kagura was a trouble-making little girl who purposely got lost in the grocery store to get away from the baby-sitter. But his tone was casual, as if this didn't bother him at all. He didn't mind walking Kagura home, protecting her from any potential danger that lurked around Tokyo's streets at night. He was partially glad that she called someone to walk her home instead of risking the journey alone. She often gave off the impression of a bull-headed and arrogant little girl, but she wasn't stupid. Especially with gang activity growing increasingly bold, showing up like flies in summer, it was better for someone trustworthy to be there for her when she needed it. Not that Okita was especially trustworthy in most situations, but this was an exception. 

... 

Around the same time, Kamui left the base for some "fresh air". This wasn't the shadiest part of town. In fact there was housing and business set up nearby the abandoned warehouse, which had been locked down for a long time. That's what the governement disclosed to the public when the place shut down. And it was made known that a caretaker stopped by during the day to clean the old offices on the second floor, as well as some of the broken machines left behind in shambles. The old breakroom contained an ashtray, which the gang made use of. Dumping it on the ground would make it known that other people were using this place, and the police would most likely investigate. No news had ever come up about the old warehouse as it was believed to be uninhabited. In other words, there was never any reason for the cops to even go near the place. But with their investigations going underway, there was a solid chance that they would find it eventually. 

Kamui was quite far from the slums. Very far, actually. That small, insignificant part of Tokyo, that was being treated with significance by the police, sat on the far, opposite side of the warehouse, so naturally the police were off-course to where the real base was. He was closer to the city now, with more lights and activity than the slums and the area around the warehouse combined. He was safe, for now. He was safe from the cops. But, out of all the dangers Kamui thought he would face as leader of an infamous gang, there was one, small thing that he didn't consider dangerous.

While heading down an empty street under the cover of night, he turned to a shortcut through a wide, open alleyway with a bit of lighting glowing from above like fireflies. Having this light act as guidance, Kamui was able to spot the approuch of three to four individuals from the other side of this alleyway, each carrying an identifyable melee weapon like a bat or iron pipe. Kamui stopped, but didn't give off any sign that he was afraid or that he felt cornered. 

"Ahh, there he is, the main event. See, we just came back around, lookin' for you, Kamui, and here ya are". 

The voice was recognisable, and frankly brought an irritated smirk to Kamui's face. 

"Osamu. Why am I not surprised? So, what is this? An uprising of some kind?" 

"What makes ya say that?" 

"Well the fact that you're standing in my way, ominously holding bats and pipes, I kinda have a hunch. So, what's this for? Already impatient to cause some havoc, Osamu?" 

"You bet your ass I'm impatient! You do nothing while we sit on our asses, twiddling our thumbs when we could be taking over this shithole of a city! We have enough people, we have a few pieces of weaponary-so why the fuck do we have to sit around?! You're so full of shit, Kamui--And we're sick of it!"

"My, my, how aggressive. Should I be scared, Osamu?" 

"You should be, because we're not taking your shit anymore. We're ending this now. So fight us like a man". 

"You say that but aren't you carrying weapons? How am I supposed to fight four of you like a man when I'm faced eith four cowards carrying weapons?" 

"Didn't you always say you wanted a challenge?" 

"Mm...True. Alright, then. You have no techinque, so this might be over quicker than you expect". Kamui cracked his knuckles, smiling, preparing for a fight, a potentially interesting fight. "O-kay~. Here I come, Osamu!" 

In one second, Kamui made his first move, dashing towards Osamu with technique in mind. Even before the fight he had a plan to counter-attack. There were four of them, only one Kamui, but he was confident that these guys would go down like a sack of bricks. His feet struck the concrete beneath him at a rapid pace, a wide grin replacing his calm smile. And then, once everyone had raised their weapons, also smirking, and when Kamui was preparing to dodge out of the way and throw his first punch, he didn't get much of a chance, or a warning. 

On the sidelines, within a very dark, secluded, narrow section of the alleyway, Kamui caught a sudden glance of the spare wheel standing there with a metal pipe, swinging it towards Kamui with this appearance of anxiety and fear draining his face of life as it was painted a deathly shade of pale. He swung his weapon in Kamui's general direction, and the impact inflicted struck his arm with brute force that was hard enough for Kamui to hear the bones crack. He lost balance, and collapsed onto the damp, stinking concrete. His skin scaped against the ground, bleeding, almost burning in pain. But it wasn't as painful as the dislocation of his shoulder, which throbbed in agony. Kamui, of course, held back any cry of pain. He may have been one of the strongest men in Tokyo, but he was still human. 

"Ha! We fuckin' got you, you shit! We win! You eat shit! Hahaha!" 

Osamu and his small group gathered around Kamui as he tried to stand up and beat them all to a pulp. But his arm was a surprising disadvantage, and only slowed him down. Several, muddy, shit-stained shoes kicked him down, holding him there with little effort. 

"You say I have no technique, but I learned to use stategey from you, dip-shit! You think I would come here without preparation to kick your scrawny ass?! I don't give a shit if this isn't fair. Nothing is fair!" 

"Osamu...You're really gonna pay for this. I mean it...I'll kill you~". Even then, Kamui smiled with this demonic glare in his eyes, staring directly up to Osamu, and no one else. Only him. 

"Tsk. I don't think you're in the best position to be pullin' threats outta your ass. Heh...I've been waiting far too long for this day...". 

Osamu elected himself to take the first hit, standing back, raising his baseball bat with a wide grin on his face. Kamui wasn't intending to take it. So with one last effort he tried to stand up again, but was immediatly denied of this when Osamu swung the bat directly against the top half of Kamui's back, sending him falling back down to the ground. Seeing this with great interest, the others joined in...And they laughed. They laughed as Kamui was beaten and kicked around like a scrawny brat on the playground. It came to the point where he was forced to guard his head with each swing of their bats and pipes. Maybe for the hell of it they threw down their weapons and started using their fists and feet. His stomach, his arms, his ribcage were all smacked and kicked around. His face was punched, he was made to even bleed. It went on for a mere five minutes, at the most, before they each grew tired and bored. But they seemed satisfied with their work. Throuth blurred, unfocused eyes, Kamui could see that they were happy with what they had done. And they were even happier to leave Kamui conscious, to let him feel every inch of pain inflicted on his body. 

"Haha...Strongest? Yeah, right...". 

"What a fucking joke". 

"Let's go. I feel like getting wasted tonight. Let's leave this piece of shit in the dirt to fucking rot".

Kamui could barely think straight, nevermind see two inches in front of his face as everything turned into this blur of darkness, enducing nausea and pain. He would have gotten up and beat the shit out of them. The longer the pain lasted, the more his consciousness faded into nothing but a blank state of mind. There was no hatred, no desire to get revenge. He felt lifeless, but was still perfectly alive. And when he closed his eyes, his most honest thoughts-like in the moment before death-reached the surface of his thoughts and played out in vague images and echoing voices. 

... 

At Least Six Years Ago... 

... 

"Kamui...You-...". 

"It's alright. I'm alright...". 

"You're not alright! You're bleeding and-...Oh my goodness..Kagura! Kagura, honey, get the first-aid from the lounge, please! Kamui, come here. Let me see". 

There was pain back then too. This collection of cuts and bruises marked almost everywhere on Kamui's body, with the smell of blood covering his clothes...It wasn't always his own. 

"I don't know whether to say you did the right thing or that you did something incredibly stupid and reckless. I suppose I...I'll just say that I'm glad that you're alright". 

There were sometimes tears. They weren't his either. Then came the silence, and the hugs, and the scent. Always...There was always the sense that this wouldn't be the last time. 

"It's okay...If you look at sis' perspective then you'll see that I did what I thought was right. It's not wrong of me to protect her, is it?" 

"It isn't. But no one said you had to be a hero, baby. What would I do if something happened to you? Something worse than this...". 

Even now, while aware that this was a dream, Kamui couldn't answer such a guilt-tripping question on the spot. He couldn't respond. He couldn't look up and say anything honestly. 

("Kamui...!") 

It was all so distant...It was just a memory, so why was there this annoying feeling of guilt still hanging over his head? 

("Kamui, get up, you idiot!") 

Why were they still trying to reach out to him? They...Who was...Reaching out to him right now? 

... 

Present Day...Ten Minutes Ago... 

...

Okita was complaining in his head about the distance between Gintoki's apartment and Kagura's friend's house. Why go through all this trouble just to leave because of a...boyfriend? One of the girls had a boyfriend, invited him over, soaked up all the attention and the China Girl left. That's as much as he picked up from her long, tireless, frustrated explanaition. How many assholes could surround one girl in one school? Honestly? 

"-I just don't see what's so exciting about some dude with a dumb haircut and dumb personality. He basically has no personality-yet everyone thinks he's so likable. Ugh! Makes me wanna throw up". 

"I can't tell if you're legitimately pissed off at the guy or you're jealous of the girl". 

"What makes you think I'm jealous?!" 

"Well, you're spouting random insults at this dude when he's done nothing to you, and you seem pretty spiteful towards the girls who like him, just for liking him. It's textbook". 

"Like hell it is! Like you're such an expert on people's feelings!" 

"I take psychology on the side, and I say it's textbook. So shut up and stop whining". 

"Tch...It's not like-...It's not like I'm jealous. I'm not-but if I was it's not because she has that particular guy for a boyfriend. He's a total fruitcake, honestly. Seeing Gin-chan and the Mayo-lover kiss is manlier. I dunno...I don't really understand that stuff. I've only had one boyfriend, and we're now back to being just friends. Even then I didn't really know what to do. Then you see girls that think they're relationship experts and try to push me into finding some boy that I don't even like".

"A few guys at college have tried forcing me into talking to girls that I thoroughly despite, just because they're always so hollow and annoying. I do kinda know how you feel, but the difference is that stuff like relationships for me are a complete waste of time and money". 

"If you're a teenager...". 

"Especially if you're a teenager. It's different with Hijikata-san and Danna. Those two are practically in love with a seemingly meaningful relationship compared to what teenagers think love is". 

"I know, right?! People in the comments are already wondering when the hell they'll say it. It's drivin' me nuts knowing they're still in an awkward faze of "oh, don't call us boyfriends", and such. It's dumb". 

"It'll happen eventually, China Girl. It'll happen". 

Okita stayed close to Kagura this entire time, looking around the ominous surroundings of an empty street. They weren't too far from Gintoki's apartment, as far as they knew. But the scenery was worrying and foreboding, like a gang of muggers or murderers would pop out at any moment and attack with knives or terrifying, shrouded expressions and threats...Or both. But it wasn't that predictable. 

Coincidence is an ordinary occurance, especially in fiction when conveying plot convenience or any scenario of the like. At times it may seem unrealistic to have story begin with mere coincidence, but without it then there's no story to follow. Is there? So when coming to this street, a few blocks away from Gintoki's apartment, Kagura stopped near a dark and threatening alleyway when something underneath the dim lights from above caught her eye, and there came a sound similar to a cough and a wheeze of breathlessness. Normally, anyone-even the most humble of bystanders-would walk away from a foreign scene that could put them in danger, and avoid any involvement. Okita would know that this is textbook psychology as well; that bystanders would do their very best to avoid dangerous or awkward situations, even if someone was being beaten to a pulp in the middle of the street. Humans would rather watch and take pictures than help, but I, the author, digress. 

Kagura had to stop when the sudden sound made her heart jump from the shock. She reacted, and her brain took a moment to process what happened. Okita stopped too, but solely because Kagura had stopped for no apparent reason. Fear was the last thing Okita would feel in any ominous situation, like this one. He probably didn't hear the noise, or he felt no need to stop and pay attention to it. He paid attention to Kagura, however. 

"What're you stopping for? Let's get going". 

"Is someone in there?" 

"Huh? Probably a homeless guy, but by now that's pretty normal. There's nothing you can do so-Oi!"

And the China Girl tries to wander off on her own, but Okita called her out even before she could take two steps, and grabbed her arm with a balanced amount of force; enough to stop her but not enough to aciddentaly harm her. 

"What? I was only gonna take a look!" 

"At what?! Are you stupid?" 

"Well, I-...Look, just leave me to it. Someone might be injured in there". 

"I'm not letting you wander into an alleyway alone. Anyone could be in there, they don't have to be injured". 

"Then come with me if you're so worried". 

"That makes no sense. The smarter thing to do is move along and-Oi! Don't!" 

Kagura swings her arm out of Okita's grasp, heading into the alleyway cautiously, but with unfathomable curiosity. It was a dark alley, anything, or anyone, could be in there so late at night. As she stepped into the darkness, taking cautious steps, Okita leapt forward again, grabbing her arm firmly to stop her for good. 

"I said stop, moron. What kind of girl, especially at your age, walks into an alleyway at night? Hey, are you even listening to me-...?" 

When it became clear that Kagura wasn't paying attention to him, as she would rather stare off into the corner of the alley with a thoroughly shocked and dumbfounded expression, Okita followed her gaze to the spot where she was focused on, and then stopped himself from finishing his sentence in a moment of bafflement. S figure could be seen in the dark, under a dim light. They were unrecognisable from a distance--unseen, even. But seeing the top of their head, their body curled up on the filthy ground and their face, covered in dirt and bruises, it was clear who they had met in this alleyway. Okita's grip unconsciously loosened on Kagura's arm and... 

"Ka-...Kamui!" 

She fled into the darkness, tumbling over to his side, potentially scraping her knees on hard ground. Okita slowly approuched, looking around the alleyway out of caution. He looked pretty beat up, so the perpetrators might still be around. He had to keep his eyes open and his guard up. Kagura, on the other hand, let all of that go to tend to her big brother in dire need. 

"Kamui! Kamui, get up, you idiot! I swear to god if you're dead or-...!" 

"Ah...I'm not-...I'm not dead, now shu-...Shut up. You're too noisy". 

"Kamui...! What the hell have you been doing?! How did you get beaten up?" 

"They had bats". 

"Oh...Well...Agh, that doesn't matter. I'm gonna call an ambulance and get you help. Can you sit up at least? Here, lemme-...!" 

Without accepting Kagura's offered-or nearly offered-assistance, Kamui raised himself up off the ground with Kagura taking her own initiative into helping him. But by doing so, holding his chest for support, Kamui let out a cry of pain that he couldn't hold back this time. He collapsed back down, leaning on one arm, and one arm only as the other lay limply on the ground.

"S-sorry...What, are your ribs broken?" 

"I think so...But it's fine, I can manage". 

"Shut your mouth. Of course you can't! You can barely sit up. Here, I'm gonna help you one way or another. And, sadist, don't just stand there! Help! He's injured really badly. You're a cop, right? Wouldn't you know a lot about first-aid?" 

"Well, yeah, but I can't do anything without a first-aid kit, can I? Look, I'll call and ambulance. That's for the best". 

"Don't call an ambulance...!" Kamui struggled to protest as Okita pulled out his cellphone. He paused before dialing. 

"Call it anyway! He needs help!" Kagura joined in on the argument, although there wasn't really an argument at all. Kamui needed aid. 

"Don't you-aghh!" Kamui cried out unintentionally, exerting his energy through speech as the pressure of the concrete ground dug into his cracked ribcage. Kagura remained by his side, saying nothing in protest as Okita dialed thosemthree magic numbers on his cellphone.

"Don't try to move or speak, you moron. We're gonna get you help whether you like it or not". 

The injured criminal didn't have a choice, or the will to even speak, here. All he had was a couple of broken ribs, a dislocated shoulder, a caring sister and a couple years in the slammer coming his way. And there was always so much more. Kamui was on the brink of facing a game over, and dreaded the obnoxious moaning of the sirens and the stink of death and ammonia polluting the hallways and the wards. No wonder his mother chose to pass on in her own bed, in her own home. But Kamui's life was over in another sense. After all of this time, he...He...He could hear the sirens...And he knew that it was all over. 

... 

Not once had Kagura stepped into a hospital this late at night. It was quiet around the wards that they passed, but did not look into; most of the patients in these wards being elderly and sickeningly pale. Kagura couldn't bring herself to draw her eyes to the open rooms out of courtesy and awkwardness. She focused squarely on finding her brother's room, as informed by the nice male receptionist with bags under his eyes, but a level head that kept up the polite attitude to visitors and patients alike. Okita, of course, accompanied her after calling the police. Or, more accurately, he called Hijikata. The guy was extatic when hearing the news of Kamui's detainment in Takanawa Hosptial. 

"You okay with this, China Girl?" 

"...". 

The silence was drving Okita nuts, but Kagura was obviously reluctant to speak. Her demeanor was still, determined, concerned. Or maybe she was trying to put on a brave face under the circumstances involving her brother, his position in hospital, and the police. She knew it was for the best, but some things can never be said out loud while wearing a straight face and a heroic attitude. If she was a lot younger, her eyes would be brimming and her wails would cry "don't take big bro away~~!" as she gasped and sobbed and bawled in front of the cops. Nothing like that could be pictured in Okita's head-not at her age. So she kept quiet, didn't say a single word because right now she was doing the right thing by "betraying" her older brother. But when it all came down to it, she was doing the right thing. She made the right decision. 

"You don't have to say anything, but just know that you did a good thing. He's your brother and all, but this is for the best". 

"I know it is...". 

Finally, a few words in agreement. A few words that she was displeased to say. Her expression was more saddened than anything else when those words left her lips, but nothing indicated that she would cry or try to negotiate terms to get Kamui out of the hospital and out of his inevitable arrest. She was growing up. That's all Okita could really say about this. 

Kamui's private room, with soundproof walls and silence, was just up ahead when they reached the third floor. A few doors to the left of the stairs and bingo, there ya are. The door to his room opened-indicated as his room due to the bold room number plated on the door, below the little window with little curtains on the inside. A female nurse walked out with a tray in hand and a blank, professional expression. She looked around thirty years old, possibly married, so any thoughts about going after young, pretty men (although not so pretty now) like Kamui were long gone. Okita approuched her confidentally with Kagura tagging along from behind, peering towards the room's little window as a way to see Kamui and to check on his current condition. 

"Excuse me, is the patient in that room named Kamui, by any chance?" 

"Uh, yes, but, I'm sorry, we can't allow visitors. We were just informed by the police that he's a wanted criminal, so for your own safety we cannot allow you to see him at the moment. I, I'm terribly sorry". 

"I'm with the police--an apprentice. Doesn't that count for anything?" 

"Sorry. Unless you have permission by a leading officer, I won't let you into the room. Hospital staff and police officers only, for now. How about the girl? Is she family?" 

"M-my brother. He's...my big brother". 

"I see. We'll see about hospital visits, but, for now, there's nothing I can do. Please wait a while, until the police get here. I'll show you to the nearest waiting room, if you'd like". 

What other choice did they have? Until Hijikata arrived, they were sitting ducks insideva hospital waiting room, with nothing to do but stare at four walls and the people in passing. One of them would be Hijikata. It had to be, eventually. 

... 

Footsteps thundered down the hallway in loud clicks. Okita reckoned there were at least three cops on the move, heading towards Kamui's room. As expected, the demonic Vice-Chief made his entrance in the waiting room where Okita and Kagura sat together with bored expressions. Seeing him turn the corner exhausted some relief into their minds and a skip in their step-Kagura's especially. 

"Mayora...!" 

"Ch-China Girl, what're you doing here this late at night? I thought you were staying at your friend's house?" 

Kagura turned a frown and furrowed brow at Okita for not mentioning her name over the phone call he made to Hijikata at least half an hour prior to this meeting. She then turned back to Hijikata with a more reserved expression and form of body language. 

"The...The sadist over there was walking me home when we both found Kamui in the alleyway. That's why I'm here. And also because he's my brother...". Especially because Kamui was her brother, who needed someone other than the doctors and the cops to breathe down his neck. 

With a long, bothered sigh and a tassle into his hair, Hijikata nodded in understanding. 

"Okay. Okay...But you can't stay here for too long. I'm gonna try and call Gintoki to come pick you up. If I can't reach him right now, I'll drive you home myself before coming back here, okay?" 

"Can I at least see Kamui? Just for a bit? He's still my brother, and I wanna make sure he's okay. You'll be keeping an eye on us-that's your job-so it'll be fine, right?" 

Desperation was evident in the China Girl's eyes, her fingers gripping Hijikata's wrist and sleeve tightly. Not like was planning to say no to her, as long as he could be in the same room and keep an eye on Kamui. 

"Yeah, relax, you can see him. I'm giving you special permission, but wait until I've called Gintoki. Just a little bit longer, alright, China Girl?" 

Muttering a shy apology under her breath, Kagura slowly let go of Hijikata's arm. Collecting her hands in a locked state, she lowered her head and waited. She waited a little bit longer like Hijikata said. He ruffled her hair gently, offering with all his sympathy to buy something for her from the cafeteria. She politely accepted. Wasn't everyday that Hijikata offered to buy her food. But, as shocking as it may seem in a comedic sense, she wasn't thinking about food right now. The most important thing right now was obviously the moron cooped up in a hospital bed, covered in bandages and bruises. She took a good look at Kamuiin the light of the ambulance, and it was worse than what she could see in the darkness of that alleyway. Much worse. What a stupid brother. So, so stupid... 

... 

Hijikata escorting Kagura into the room, where a police officer was already keeping watch of Kamui in his weakened state. He couldn't exactly move, so what was the danger? Was it just a precaution? Probably the smart thing to do. When was a "just in case" scenario never smart? Nervous, almost unwilling, Kagura followed Hijikata into this unfamiliar room with the odd smell of soap and...cough medicine? From the back of her mind, that thas the only accurate description Kagura could fish out. 

"Kamui, your sister's here to see you, but don't expect her to be here for long". 

Out of courtesy, Hijikata stepped aside and let Kagura walked into the room, towards her brother's side. She was visibly nervous and reserved, but not cold or hateful of her brother. When the silence was almost unbearable, she made a quick and brief dash over to his side while, in the mean time, Hijikata shut the door and stood off to the side, quietly observing this little, awkward reunion of brother/sister. 

"Kamui, are you...Are you feeling alright?" 

That seemed like a dumb question when bringing herself to look him in the face; bruised and beaten-all of him. His arm was left in a sling, his other arm cut up and skinned from the concrete in which he fell to. But he didn't wear a miserable or pissed off expression, as you may or may not expect. He was more calm and mellow, but not smiling. He wasn't smiling off these injuries or the situation this time. At least not to Kagura's face. 

"I'm hunky-dory, little sis'. I'm gonna spend about six weeks in hospital before I'm pardoned and immediatly sent to jail". 

"Don't say that as if I did something worse! This is for the best! This is what you need!" 

"Tsk...". 

"Don't click your tongue either. I came here because you're my brother and I care enough to at least visit you. It's not like you're a murderer or anything, but even then I don't think I'd ignore you...I'd still come here and scold you like sibling's should". 

"...". 

"And you have to serve your punishment, Kamui. I don't know all the details, but with all the news reports popping up about gang activity, I can't help but feel that you're responsible for most of those terrible things. Mami always wanted us to live an honest life, and I want the exact same thing for you. So once you've been to prisone and served your time...".

"What? You think we can become a family again? You have quite the imagination, sis'. I think Kouka told you that as well". 

"...". Kagura didn't let the tears brim this time, or shine in the light. She gulped down the minor lump in her throat and took steady breaths in order to keep the tears away. The palms of her hands were itching to be released by the grip of her fingernails digging into the skin through the frustration and anger towards this idiot's attitude. She wasn't going to give in, just like that. She wasn't going to argue with him about the distance he created from his family. And she wasn't going to cry, or accept his way of thinking. She never did. 

"You...Call her...C-call her...Call her Mom, you dork...You stupid, stupid dork". 

A brave attempt was made; to hold her head high and glare into her brother's eyes for just a moment. He was the one to back off and look away with nothing more to add to that, like backing away from dangerous territory in unpopulated lands, where there's no help or assisance here. By going on and on about this family stuff, Kamui was putting himself in a position that he was trying to avoid. So he avoided Kagura and her eyes. 

Hijikata was somewhat uncomfortable, being caught in the corner of the room during their "heart-to-heart", but he had authority and a duty and there was absolutely nothing he could do about that. Best to wait for Gintoki to arrive and take Kagura back home. 

"You said you were gonna be here for six weeks...I'll visit as much as I can, whether you like it or not". 

"Do whatever you want...". 

How cold, and how frustratingly expected. In her mind, there was nothing more she could possibly say. An invisible barrier would always keep them apart, although Kamui was the one who set up that barrier. Even now, when they were at such a close distance, talking after literal months, Kamui kept his defenses up. No words came to mind for Kagura. She tried to open her mouth and speak to her irritating, distant brother, not a single word would come out. Just incoherent stutters. And that saddened expression...Kamui ignored it. 

From behind Kagura, the room's door swung open, earning the attention of everyone present. At the right moment, Gintoki was the one to barge in, in search of Kagura. He paid no mind to Kamui as he focused all of his attention on her. 

"Gin-chan...". 

"Hey, squirt. You okay?" He placed his hands on Kagura's shoulders, doting in a calm, mellow way that was a breath of fresh air when comparing Gintoki to her father. "Hijikata called and told me the short version of what happened, so...". 

"I'm alright. I'm more worried about Kamui than myself right now. He's the one who got beat up, not me". 

Even when treated so coldly, she still cared. She was still incredibly persistent. Although he didn't know the whole story of these siblings, Hijikata could tell that she had persisting for a long time; persisting to get her brother's attention and make him listen, understand just how much she wanted him to take his head out of his ass and get his shit together. Kagura could do that, so why couldn't her idiotic big brother? Big brothers and sisters are the ones who look after the youngest, not the other way around, unless the elder sibling had a pretty good fucking reason to have their kid brother or sister drag their ass out of the filth and messes they made. 

"I'm glad. I know you would wanna stay a bit longer, since he's your brother and all, but...". 

"It's fine. Today's been crazy, and I wanna wait for things to cool down. Mami always put it that way when things went wrong". Kagura peered over her shoulder, and only then did she properly meet her brother's eyes in the middle. "I'll be back tomorrow...". 

"...". Not a word spoken. He had given up on talking back, but usually that was the more mature thing to do. In this case, it showed how childish Kamui could be by ignoring his little sister's kindness out of spite. He didn't see it as kindness, just a nuisance wearing china clothes and that puppy-dog face. 

"Let's get goin', kiddo. I'll make ya some tea or juice or somethin' when we get back". 

Kagura nodded, appreciating that gestire by Gintoki. His hand cupped her back, pulling her gently through the door and back out into the hallway without turning back for Kamui. Hijikata followed, asking Gintoki to wait for a mere moment with the addition grip on his hand. Not his wrist, his hand and fingers, caressing the skin apologetically for being a little forceful-or thinking that he was being forceful. Leaving the door closed on slightly, Hijikata left a few more words to say. Hushed words. 

"Thanks for coming, and I'm sorry to have woken you". 

"Nah, don't worry 'bout it. I'm kinda tired, heavy under the eyes, but it's okay. I wouldn't say no to picking Kagura up, or...Anyway...". 

"Yeah, anyway...I'm still planning to see you tomorrow, it's just I've now got a shitton of work to do now that we caught Kamui. Catching his followers is the top priority-for me, at least. I'll get it done, so there'll hopefully be more time for us". 

"Get your priorities crossed off first, Mr Policeman, and then talk about us, alright? I appreciate you callin' me to pick up Kagura, so thanks for that. Try not to work too hard, okay? And eat that bento I made, specially for you. Nobody else but you and Kagura get to eat my godly side dishes". 

"Godly...?" 

"Fuck yeah they're godly. So shut up and enjoy them. I'll see you later". 

"Yeah...See you soon". 

Being in front of Kagura, a soft peck was enough. A soft peck that would last for five seconds, at least. They moved in with eachother, in sync, holding eachother by their forearms and elbows as their lips made a very soft and affectionate connection in the middle. Kagura wandered off into the corner, seeing a few people-staff and patients-stare at the manly gay couple kissing in the middle of the hallway like it was their second valentines day or something. Some of these people-these patients-were old, so seeing two men kissing in front of other people was like seeing a UFO in real life; a big freaking saucer in the middle of the sky, which looked like it was going to fall and crack the concrete below. That kinda weird shit that you only see in movies. Well, to the elderly of Japan (and any other country) this was like that kinda weird shit, only with two guys...kissing, happily, in front of people. 

"Ahem...!" Kagura cleared her throat loudly. The people gawking at the show thought this girl was clearing her throat in an exaggerated fashion at them for being so rude. Nope. These guys were just embarrassing. Fuck, they really were like two dads. 

"Oh, what? You got a problem with this, Kagura?" 

"No, but I have a problem with you kissing the Mayora in the middle of a freakin' hospital! You'll give one of the geezers here a heart-attack, aru". 

Rolling their eyes, sighing as if totally unfazed by the geezers and old hags staring at them, whispering about how weird it was to see two people liking eachother, despite their gender and original interests. The twenty-first century, everybody.

"I'm...gonna get back to work". 

"You do that. And remember: eat that bento, and enjoy it". 

"Believe me, I'm sure I will". 

A quick, awkward wave goodbye after the "see you later", "see you soon" stuff, was enough to put a full stop on this conversation and end it as Hijikata backed away into Kamui's room once more to pose this confident, striking look that Gintoki had always found to be oddly sexy. Thinking about it caused this temporarily, dazed paralysis in his mind that made his eyes linger and his mouth become moist with saliva. He swallowed it down when reality returned and those gorgeous bedroom eyes vanished from his mind. Kagura shot this look of judgement before Gintoki gently pushed her back again, motivating her to move her skinny ass down the hallway. It was too late in the evening to even look at her glaring of...weirdness. Not disgust, but a sense that she saw something fucked up but funny at the same time; funny in her brain, weird on her face. Best to avoid getting into that any further. 

... 

Gintoki had brought his scooter. That explained why he arrived quicker than expected; riding his silver, noble steed. He got on first, and Kagura also hopped on like she was completely used to it. She was. Riding the scooter with Gintoki was fun, and thrilling. It cleared her head, made the whole aspect of life seem easier than it was. For a twenty minute drive, that's how it all felt. She strapped on her spare helmet, which was a little too big for her head. But as long as she could make the clicking sound of the straps and hold on tightly enough to Gintoki, in order not to fall off and crack her skull, it was all well and good. 

"Ready to go, kiddo?" That was her cue to hold on. She wrapped her small arms around Gintoki's waist and pressed up against his back to make sure. He took that as a silent affirmative. "Alright, then. Let's get you home, and I'll put some honey in your tea if you'd like. We have some rice there, I think, so if you'd like rice balls or maybe soup...". "Soup and rice balls sound good. I'm starving anyway". 

"Starving? I thought Hijikata bought you a snack at the cafeteria?" Gintoki had adjusted his goggles, leaving the strap of his helmet untouched when the question popped out of his mouth. Kagura shrugged. 

"And? This is me we're talking about". 

"Ah, that's right. Fair enough. Hold on tightly, 'kay?" 

Gintoki reved up the engine, making sure that Kagura was holding on tight enough. Then they just drove through the dark, the headlight of his scooter flashing on to lead the way through the road. The air chilled Kagura to the bone, and the speed they were driving at left invisible cuts and scratches gliding across her cheeks like splinters. Under her coat, it was cold. The helmet on her head left the sights around them to her imagination as it slid down and covered her eyes. Not that she would bother adjusting it. Both arms around Gintoki, hold on tight, don't let go for anything. Besides, digging her fingers in his hoodie was somewhat warm and his back was broad enough to act like her airplane pillow on a long, nine hour journey to somewhere warmer. She needed a distraction from all of this nonsense, at least until the morning.

And Gintoki understood. He didn't empathise, but he understood how frusting this must be for a girl her age, playing the part of the more responsible older sibling than the sensitive, over-bearing youngest with tears in her eyes. How mature. No, really. She was growing up faster than Gintoki imagined. He wasn't there her whole life, but neither was her old man, or her mother or her moronic older brother. But he was here now; Gintoki was. And he had the privilage of watching this girl grow a figurative pair. 

... 

In the darkness of the old warehouse, a crowd-Kamui's crowd-gathered around Osamu. He entered without receiving any attemtion, but once he raised his voice and called everyone to the center of the room with a wide, victorious grin on his face, he spoke to all of Kamui's followers, first of all hiding what he had done that very evening. 

"Everyone! I've got something to say so shut yer mouths and listen up! I'm not a patient man, y'see. And I am sick and tired of waiting around this dump! Waiting for our "great leader" to make a move on the government dogs that parade around this city, thinking they're fuckin' saviors! He's done nothing but sit on his throne! What are we gettin' out of this?!" 

"Osamu, shut the fuck up, man. You're embarrassing". 

There was laughter among a few of the members, while some others took what Osamu was saying seriously. 

"Hachiro, you shut the fuck up and listen, alright? Osamu's makin' a point here". 

"What, that we get to sit around lazily, drink booze and have fun? Kamui doesn't order us around. Sure he can be a nutcase most of the time, but he's a cool guy. I don't give a shit about what Osamu has to say". 

"Then fuckin' leave! Holy shit...". 

"Will all of you shut up and listen to me?! God damn...Okay. Listen to me: you wanna have fun? Drink as much booze as you want? Then why don't we get off our asses and take over this place? We have enough people, we have weapons, so why not send those cops a message?! Our followees are hiding in the slums-scared! Those bastards patrollin' the streers should be scared of us! They need to know who the fuck is boss around here! Housen wanted power over this city, and he got it!" 

"In the red light district, yeah. Before he got cocky and died, anyway...". 

"That ain't gonna happen to us! Housen was a fuckin' nutcase! Two things he gave a shit about was strength and the sluts of the red light district eho had the stomach to share a futon with him! We want real power! We want this city to ourselves, right?! We can do that! And we don't need that stupid China Bou to do it! He's letting our members get arrested out there! So I say we work together and show those dogs who's boss! Kamui can eat shit for all I care! We don't need him, right?!" 

"...Yeah". 

"Yeah, that's right!" 

"We can take over the whole city if we wanted!" 

"Fuck yeah we could!" 

"So I say we get rid of that dwarf Kamui, and run this gang as a democracy! Rights to everyone and all that shit! Right?!" 

There was cheering among the crowd, many who supported these ludicrous ideas of "taking over Tokyo" and "promoting fear into the police. Although there were some willing to follow, there were others who followed Kamui's ways to the end, despite not knowing his true goals. Osamu had too many outrageous ambitions for the gang. Far too many that seemed impossible to reach. One goal that seemed much more possible was to get rid of Kamui, and Osamu had already done that in the most cowardly and brutish way. The men and women who stood by him during their one-sided atrack looked at eachother, then at Osamu. 

... 

Another ten minutes spent parking Gintoki's scooter, and they were home. Pulling her sleeves down over her red stained hands, Kagura walked into the warmth of the apartment, heading straight for the sofa to grab a blanket. Gintoki cradled himself and rubbed his biceps to get rid of the goosebumps crawling around his skin like insects. As he said earlier, he went straight to the kitchen to make something for Kagura. Food might help make her feel better. That's not the type of thing you should say to a girl these days, but fuck it. Kagura had a black hole for a stomach. She could handle gaining a little weight without getting overly upset or dramatic. Besides, it was only soup and some rice balls, nothing big.

The sounds that emitted throughout the apartment was the clunking and thudding of cupboards and shelves. Kagura watched with some fascination, but didn't say a word. With a blank, casual, dead-eyed expression on his face, Gintoki worked away with nothing to ask or talk about. At a time like this, no one could force conversation. No one could ask Kagura to talk about how fucked everything was for her family now that her brother, her only blood-related family around, was set for prison in about six weeks. Fuck, man. How do you talk about it? Hearing that she was totally used to it was even worse. Gintoki didn't want her to get used to this; to being alone. Because, for fuck's sake, she wasn't. 

Gintoki's hand wavered when pouring hot water from the kettle in a mug filled with instant soup, straight from a sachet. Anyway, he trembled when thinking about it. Now even he was feeling the frustration of just how...fucked her family really was in comparison to so many people. And he hated it. He wanted to get angry for her, honestly. Make up for her calm demeanor and the anger boiling from within by throwing shit, cursing her brother to rot in a cell somewhere in Hokkaido. Plenty of prisons up there. Or maybe he could curse that stupid old man to lose his ball hair, too. He wouldn't be able to step into a bathhouse again without looking like a complete fruit. 

Taking a breath was needed right now. And comfort food was also needed. For Kagura. Damn. Right about now he'd take out a pudding cup from the back of the fridge and dig in, but Kagura would see and-...Damn. She needed it more than he did, right? Maybe later. Maybe later... 

The silence was boring, but it didn't last. As soon as Gintoki prepared all the appropriate comfort foods, he brought them over to the living room where Kagura lay down in a fetal position on the sofa with a blank expression as her attention had turned to flicking the zipper of the cushion's pillow case in a sort of rhythm. He set down the rice balls, collected on a small plate, and the mug of chicken soup on the coffee table for Kagura to eat in her own time. 

"There ya are, kiddo. Eat up, take a bath, go to bed. After tonight I'm sure you'll be wanted all of those things". 

Gintoki crashed his rear onto the sofa, slouching and sighing in comfort. It was never ideal for a guy in his late twenties to be on his feet this late at night, unless he was used to working hard labour his whole life. Gintoki was a writer. His job was to sit on his ass. For fiction's sake, he had a nice, well-kept body, but he was lazy. Being on his feet when already so tured was an ordeal. The lights in the hospital were almost blinding, as were the lights of the apartment. He rubbed his eyes. They were heavy, and the darkening cresents under his eyes were like weak bruises. Didn't take much to notice. 

"...You been working hard again?" Kagura very slowly sat up, eyeing the quick and easy meal before her in earnest. Nothing stopping her from eating a meal specifically made for her, so why hesitate? Was the anticipation killing her that much? 

"You could say that. This is what bein' an adult is about, little China Girl. You work, you get paid, you work harder, you get praised sometimes, and you stress out over the third world problems of being a grown-up. It gets harder. I can't lie to you about that". 

"Mm...Thanks. You sound like the Mayora. That's...kinds weird, Gin-chan". Her sarcasm and comment weared thin under her condition; exhaustion, worry. Nefore you know it even this girl would eventually turn out to look like a red-head Tomoko Kuroki. 

"I know this is a retarded question, but, are you doing okay? I'm not coddling you, I'm just asking". 

"I'm fine. It's so weird, though. I never imagined that I'd ever be so close to him again. The last time we really talked he...He hit me on accident, and pretended that he meant it so he didn't have to apologise and cry like a big baby for hitting his little sister. Moron...". 

"He is a moron. All big brother's can be, whether they're academically smart, street smart...A buncha idiots, deep down". 

"Including you?" 

"I'm not a big brother, though". 

"You act like it, to Shinpachi and me. You're the best non-blood related brother's that I think I've ever had. But you're kinda like a dad as well. I've seen you that way a few times, and it feels weird. When the Mayora stays over sometimes, he makes a bento for me before school and he talks to me like he's my Mom; tells me to eat everything, to be safe. I think he even told ke to have a good day at school once". 

"Haha...Yeah, I can imagine so". 

"...Feels like I have a real family, every single day. But I feel like I should feel more...empty, like my blood related family should still be around and that I miss them to death. And I do but... Sometimes I'm angry at Papi for leaving, I'm pissed off at Kamui for leaving...I...I'm upset that Mami had to leave, too". 

"...Hey, you don't hace to bring it up". 

"I know. But I feel like if I don't talk about it when I wanna talk about it, I'll make things worse for myself. I love my family...Everyone in my messed up family; Papi, Kamui, Mami, Gin-chan, Shinpachi...I've warmed up to the Mayora after all of those bentos, heh...". 

"...". 

"We're family. Families stay together, right I want us to be a family again, Gin-chan. But the way Kamui speaks to me and acts around me...It's like-...It's like-...". Kagura cupped her hand over her mouth, and then came the muffled sniffle.

"Hey, don't start that. C'mere...C'mere, kiddo". 

Before the waterworks started brimming like leaking faucets, Gintoki pulled Kagura in closely, hugging her, offering as much comfort as he could to her. He didn't want to see her cry. She accepted his festure with so much gratitide, falling into the hug so comfortably, sniffling and trying to keep herself from bawling like a baby in front of Gintoki. 

"It's like he doesn't care at all. Like he never cared, I mean. And I know that's not true at all". 

"Of course it's not. That guy would have to have a single-celled brain to not see how amazing you are, and how caring you are for a little sister. Give it some time. And if he really is your big brother, he'll respond. He'll realise how lucky he is. Hm...I know I am. Siblings...Family in general watch out for eachother. If there's anything you need...Even if you want me to knock some sense into that brat, or even a hug, just tell me, okay?" 

"Okay...Thanks, Gin-chan. I'm pretty lucky too, aru". 

"Sure you are. You can never find a more fucked up family than us; two straight dudes that are gay for eachother and a glasses-wearing cherry boy". 

No energy to laugh, but her smile was enough to clarify that he made Kagura feel a little bit better. That was enough. In Gintoki's head, and her heart, that was plenty. Trying to suck up the sappy mood and get rid of the tears, Kagura moved away from the hug on her own with the heels of her hands, covered by the cuffs of her sleeves, digging under her eyes to soak up the tears. 

"All better, kiddo?" 

"A little...". 

"Good. That's good to hear. Why not eat something, before it gets cold? I'll make you some tea or bring ya some coffee milk after your bath if you want. Anything you'd like-but just for tonight. We're not running a Disney princess castle up here". 

"Uh-huh. Gottcha, Gin-chan, aru...Actually. I have a favour to ask you, for tomorrow". 

"Yeah? What do you need?" 

Gintoki didn't expect much. The most his mind read from her expression of pure confidence , naivity and opportunity-seeking was "buy me chocolate milk next time for after my bath, aru". Or something a little more extreme like vitimin C or some shit. But, no. Unfortunately, no. Kagura had other, more important, things in mind. 

"Tomorrow...Can you come with me to visit Kamui?" 

...

Out of interest, Hijikata found himself looking over old files for clues on where their base might be. For one, he looked over Kamui's criminal record from when he went to juvy. And he searched Housen's, the previous leader of the Yato gang. Housen ran a large chunk of the sex industry, mainly in the red light district, before he died. Years before then he took charge of the Yato in Kyoto, Kamui's old home. It made sense that the kid would join him; Kamui craved strength, so he followed Housen for a time in order to challenge him and gain such physical power through stupid, violent, pointless brawls that only proved how ballsy some men chose to be. Up against Housen, those men were too cocky. All except Kamui, and his father by the looks of things. There were investigations going underway about Housen's scandals, crimes, so on and so forth. But there was nothing about a base that he set up in Tokyo. It was all swept under the rug after he died-quite recently, actually. Only a couple years ago...

In other words, the police couldn't find a lot of information about him. So much was hidden away, and the only person that would know of any other hideout, in case the slums were a waste of time, was Kamui. And even after he was put in hospital, set up for arrest, trapped like a rat under a plastic bento box, he wasn't going to come quietly. Oh that was for sure. He wasn't going to give any information away, because...He was...ballsy. 

"Er...Vice-Chief". On instinct, Hijikata shut Housen's file, turning in his chair to face Yamazaki, who approuched anxiously. "I have a report on our investigation of the slums". 

"Okay, then. Shoot. What did you find? Or did you actually find anything at all?" 

"Well, um...We didn't find their base, first of all. There was no sign of a larger crowd in the area, or around the vicinity, so...Yeah, we didn't get anything. We checked a lot of the empty buildings and we didn't find any storage of weapons or anything. It was just graffiti and vandalism. We'll keep searching, though. They can't be in the middle of nowhere, right? Even old man Matsudaira believes that they're somewhere in this city". 

"I see. Well, I think the next best thing is to look for any other abandoned buildijgs in Tokyo. May take a while to narrow down the wherabouts of their exact base, but if they're anywhere in this city I doubt they would rent an apartment. I'll consuot Matsudaira about it and you can have a small team look into it. Can I count on you for that, Yamazaki?" 

"Yes, sir". 

"Thank you, Yamazaki. You're shift's almost over, right?" 

"Uh, yeah. Yeah it is. I'm pretty tired with all this investigating. Not that I'm necessarily complaining. It's nice to know that I'm doing...something for this city, even if I have to sit alone in a surveillance room, eating nothing but anpan three meals a day...". 

"Yamazaki, we installed a stove in that room, and a fridge. You don't have to keep eating anpan, just make proper food, okay? Some of the guys have been nice enough to share their bentos and everything". 

"Nu-no, no...It's okay. It's okay, Vice-Chief. I'll...I think I'll stick to anpan. Anything else upsets my stomach, and my taste buds which...They don't exist anymore, so...Yeah...". 

"Oh, well...Maybe you should see a doctor? Or a therapist?" 

"Uh, hey, I saw that bento that Danna made for you in the breakroom fridge...Right next to my frozen anpan. Is he a good cook? Puts in all of your...favourite side-dishes and whatnot?" 

"Uh, Yamazaki...". 

"You don't have to tell me, Vice-Chief. Ahaha, I was just curious, y'know. You guys...Couples really like doing those things; cooking meals for eachother and...Having normal, human interaction. Yep". 

"Uh-huh...". 

"...". 

"...". 

"I'm gonna...get back to it. B-bye, Vice-Chief...See you later. Hope you choke on your lovey-dovey bento, made by Danna, your boyfriend. Say hi to him for me. Bye, anpan". 

Yamazaki slowly walked away from Hijikata, delirious and mad, even. His personality had gone to shit ever since he became a spy for the district police. It was uncomfortable, and weird and terrifying to everyone else, but mostly uncomfortable for Hijikata. Times like these called for a..."anyway...". 

Anyway...Hijikata slowly, dumbfoundedly, rotated back into his desk, looking over files with a blank and thoroughly uncomfortable state of mind. What the hell...Just, what the fucking hell...It was...one o'clock in the morning. Holy shit it really was. Too early...Too early for him; for Yamazaki. Yeah. It was just...too early in the morning for him. Yeah...Nothing more. 

... 

... 

A scooter ride, same feeling, but in the morning, new, brighter, colder day in Tokyo. Sunday. Kagura had not said a word since they left the apartment together at around eight. She didn't want to appear stressed or nervous, so she never spoke about it. Gintoki didn't want to ask about the backpack she decided to bring in case she asked desperately whether she mqy have brought too much. He had no fucking clue what she brought, but it couldn't have been much. Not like she was packing seven different coloured sweaters for a weekend trip at a beach house in summer. Seven! Summer, for christ sakes! Nope, bringing back memories of Zura on school trips. Not gpnna go there while sitting in a hospital waiting room that reeked of dry, used soap and damp wash cloths. Still, he took deep breaths and got through the long wait. 

"How're you holding up? Dumb question, I know". 

"It's not dumb. I'm alright. More nervous than yesterday, but I'm alright. Maybe yesrerday was easier because I got all the scolding over with. I kinda already said everything that I planned to say, aru". 

"You shouldn't have to feel nervous about seeing your own goddamn brother. He's a dick, but you're still flesh and blood". 

"I know, and I hate it". 

"What, that he's a dick or that you're related to such a moron?" 

"Both...". 

That brief, little, snarky comment cracked a smile on both their faces, and suddenly things didn't seem so nerve-wracking for little Miss China Girl. Gintoki patted her head, lingering his fingers around her hair. 

"Y'know, you should keeo your hair down more often. Better than wearing those two jock-straps on your head". 

"Gin-chan, I wasn't serious about them being jock-straps". 

"Oh, no, you were serious...I, er...Before I forget, I brought something for you". Gintoki reached into his coat pocket, pausing his joke about jock-strap hair accessories for a pudding cup, of all things. He pulled it out of his pocket, plastic spoon and all, and personally placed it in Kagura's hands. "Here. If it calms your nerves, then you really need it more than I do". 

"Ha, you were holding out on me again? Asshole?" 

"Oi, I did something nice. Be grateful, brat. I was saving that pudding for bedtime tonight, when Hijikata got back and we could lay down and...talk. To interact and talk while I was enjoying a strawberry flavoured milk pudding. So, enjoy it". 

"I will. Thanks again, Gin-chan. For coming along, and for the pudding". 

"No problem. I'm looking out for you, so offering my post-love-making pudding is the least I can do". 

"Ew...Gin-chan. No...". 

"I coulda said something worse". 

"But putting it like that...Geez, I hope I don't throw up while eating this". 

"It's just pudding, relax! God...I guess Hijikata and I will have to share a carton of Pocky instead". 

"You do that, aru". Kagura murmured, tearing off the paper lid of her pudding, licking any residue from her thumb. 

... 

Special privilege was required from the police officer standing outside the door with his back straight and his eyes focused on every corner of the room. Gintoki clarified that Hijikata gave them permission to visit, and the officer kindly moved aside with a sigh. He knew his Vice-Commander would give his...friend special permission to visit Kamui in his temporary cell, since the China Girl was family. Kagura froze in front of the door as the guard waited "patiently" to return to his post and do his job. 

"It'll be okay, Kagura. I've got your back, so try and relax". 

"I will...I'll try, Gin-chan. Okay...Here goes, aru".

All it took was a little encouragement for Kagura to open the door, albeit slowly. The nerves were still getting to her, obviously. The least Gintoki could do was pat her on the back and offer some comfort as her guardian in this situation. The door creaked loudly, disturbingly. It left Kagura clenching her teeth as the noise made her feel all the more awkward for entering the room. Gintoki was right behind her, giving silent encouragement with the odd gentle push of her back. God it felt like he was a parent, dragging his kid to go see grandma for the first time at the nursing home. 

Peering through the door, awkwardly, Kagura managed to earn Kamui's attention, and a wave of his good hand. 

"Morning, sis'. Good to see you actually did come to visit me". 

Somewhere, her confidence awoke. Without fear or anxiety, she entered the room with a sulking face. 

"Hmph, of course I did. I said that I would". 

"Sakata-san, too. What, is he your morale support?" 

"I'm her guardian, so of course I'm gonna be here with her. I don't wanna hear any back-talk. She's your sister, and she's kind enough to come visit you. You should be grateful". 

"Mm. Should I also be grateful that I'm being detained currently? Well, technically, anyway". 

"You only brought that on yourself, kid. Now play nice. I'm gonna go grab some snacks from the vending machine". 

"Huh?! You're leaving me alone?!" Make up your mind! Be confident or be nervous, silly girl! 

"I'll be back in ten minutes tops. Just take a seat and...try your best to talk to him. I'll be right back. Want anything specific? Remember, you just ate my pudding, so I'm not getting much" 

"Just a milk tea and...potato chips. Any kind". 

"Coming right up. I won't be gone for too long, so sit tight". 

He could have gotten snacks earlier, but maybe he wanted Kagura to go in and face her brother to get the ball rolling; the ball of "getting through to my idiotic brother". This was as good a start as any. If only Gintoki hadn't run off for plot convenience sakes. 

When he did leave, the room fell dead silent. Wouldn't expect any atmosphere within the first two seconds of being alone in the same room. Neityer sibling said a word for as long as Kagura continued to stand there, frozen in place. In the natural light, glowing through the shutters during the early morning, his wounds were much more clear. The bruises had a shine to them, and his arm was limp in the sling, provided by the hospital. His skin was pale, yet he smiled in a mocking and half-hearted manner. There was never any kindess in that face. That stupid, stupid- 

"Sis', you gonna take a seat or what? I don't expect you to stand there awkwardly. What, you too scared to come near me because Sakata-san's not here to hold your hand?" 

"Grr-...Shut up. I don't need Gin-chan to be here with me while I come visit you!" 

"Then why is he here?" 

"Uh-...! Because...Because he doesn't have anything else to do today, so he tagged along". 

"You're a terrible liar". 

"And you're a terrible-...!" Almost. She almost said that he was a terrible brother. In many ways, he was. But he was still her big brother, flesh and blood. So she couldn't bring herself to say it so immaturely. If she was going to confront him about how shitty he had been acting, she wanted it to be said seriously. She wanted to be taken seriously this time. 

With no other options ib front of her or arguments to spout, Kagura went ahead to sit down on the hospital bed, leaving the armchair for Gintoki. Sliding her backpack off, Kagura sat down and dumped it on her lap. She unzipped it without a word and rummaged around inside.

"What're you doin'?" 

"What does it look like? I brought some stuff for you. Gin-chan and I went to the grocery store before coming here and I bought a few things with my own allowance. Eh, a toothbrush, toothpaste in case they don't have any, a blanket in case it gets really cold in here and...And this". 

A bento was stored in her bag, wrapped up in patterned cloth, tied neatly in a knot at the lid to keep it all together. She passed it over, placing it on the table provided on his bed, right next to a tray of empty dishes. She only just noticed. 

"Oh, you already ate breakfast...". 

"They give it out at seven. It's regular, anyway". 

"W-well, it's-...It's just some rice balls. We had some leftover fillings and plenty of rice so I made them early this morning before we went out...All by myself". 

"You can't cook, though". 

"So?! It's the thought that counts, right?!" 

Kamui didn't give himself much of a choice. In the back of his mind he knew he could have pushed this aside and threw it out later, but whether Kagura or anyone else made it the bottom line was that it was still food. That's all he cared about...Right? 

"Breakfast wasn't enough anyway. I asked for seconds and the nurse gave me hell for it". 

"Probably 'cause they have other patients to feed, Kamui'". 

"...".

In an odd way, this counted as bonding, talking. Food was the main topic, but... The memory of their family gathering around for hot pot that time of year occured to her briefly, and it made Kagura smile a little. She made the effort to hide it, especially when Kamui was actually unwrapping her bento curiously. The rice balls were stored neatly inside with different fillings that Kagura, honest to god, prepared herself. An odd one from the collection was picked up; small, put together neatly. Some grains crumbled in Kamui's hand, so it wasn't perfect. But he wasn't a critic on how it looked. He was more skeptical about the taste. A bite, and some chewing, was all it took. Luckily he didn't make a face. 

"...A little too much salt there, sis'...". 

"Dammit! Augh...Fine. I'll get Gin-chan's help next time, aru". 

"W-wait, you really made these by yourself?" 

"Uh-huh. He offered, but I said no. I thought it would be more meaningful if I did it myself. But, I can't cook to save my life, right?" 

Even this smart, witty young man couldn't figure out her motivations. After he was so cold and cruel to her, she still came back to visit, and made a bento. He couldn't believe it. But then again he could see...He could see Kouka-their mother-in her. It was there, but with their father's stupidity and stubborness in the mix. 

"They're edible, I'll give ya that". 

"...?" 

"But, yeah...Get help next time, 'cause you clearly need it".

"...Thanks".

With less people in the room, Kamui could stop acting like a jerk, and a teenie-tiny bit more like a brother. The "tough love" kind of brother. Hey, he was still calling her "sis" at least. That was something. And he said the bento was edible. Small things like this were enough to make Kagura feel reassured that he hadn't totally changed into a dick-wad. She wanted there to be some compassion left over from when their mother was still around, when they were a family. It would take a while to dig up the past's dirt, but Kagura wished to find it with some time, as Gintoki had said. "Give it time..." 

Speaking of the natural perm, he was standing outside, holding the door open a little bit to listen in with the cop standing aside for him once more. Only natural that the guy would hear all of that. 

"Those your kids?" 

"Nah, not mine. I'm looking after the girl for a while, 'cause her stupid old man is out there trying to find a cure for baldness. You could say that she's like family, though". 

"Oh, I see. That makes sense. I mean, you don't look alike and...I already knew that you and the Vice-Chief are...". 

"Do you really wanna go into that conversation, man?" 

"Nope. Sorry. What about Kamui? He's a criminal and all but...Ever consider him family?" 

"Tch...Yeah, right now that decisions pending. He's still her brother, though" 

"Yeah...Well, I'd hate to have a big brother like that. I've got an older sister, and she can be a...bitch, but she still loves me. She doesn't hide it either. When things between our parents when to total shit she was there for me. She held my hand during the arguments and the fights...That's what siblings are suppose to do". 

"You got a sister complex or something?" 

"I'm an unimportant character, gimme a break, man". 

"Shit, sorry". 

"Anyway, that guy is no brother. That, right there, is not a brother. But it's her decision to keep believing that he is. Try to make sure she doesn't go too far or she'll get hurt". 

Not that it was any of this nameless guy's business, but Gintoki planned to. Kamui was not like any other big brother. To be frank, he was an asshole. But Gintoki didn't want to be that narrow-minded about the guy. You can never label someone until you've seen both sides of their personality. And in Gintoki's book, Kamui was human like everyone else in the whole goddamn earth. Just human beings with an imbalanced moral compass and some with ulterior motives to fuck everyone over, or to protect them. To protect something or someone. 

... 

... 

Work can get to a person easily. After working through the night, and then going grocery shopping in the morning after his shift, tye exhaustion coming down on Hijikata. The moment he met eyes with Gintoki in the apartment complex's lobby he smiled and held up a brand-named plastic bag with two containers of frozen yogurt inside before going in for a shameless, cute little kiss. And he brought ingredients for udon...Udon was good too.

Sitting at his table was Kagura, looking through the homework that she should have finished yesterday but got caught up in her brother's incident. English, she said it was with a sulking face and her hand being used as a rest for her chin. Hijikata said he would help her after dinner if she was stuck at a problem or sentence in her textbook. With a beer bottle in hand, Gintoki watched Hijikata make a start on dinner before putting it down to help without permssion. He didn't need it. 

"...Thanks. It's been a long day". 

"I can only imagine. Why not take a bath and leave dinner to me?" 

"Nah, I got it. I'll go afterwards, but thanks anyway".

Wasn't the worst condition that Hijikata had ever been in due to the workload and over-night shifts. Still, the dark circles ruined his eyes, and he was still trying to work his way through the evening before pulling Gintoki into the bed to make love when, clearly, he didn't have the energy. That thinking brought on the need to wrap his arm around Hijikata's waist and bring him in close for the kisses he needed. Licking his upper lip discreetly, Gintoki smooched Hijikata's cheek, the corner of his lips, the lobe of his ear-to get in close and give him some advice. 

"Take a nice, long bath, okay? I'll handle dinner for now, so relax, take it easy. I'll even make you some tea later, if you'd like. Hm?" 

The dark crescents and the skeptical expression lingered, but a tired sigh broke through. Putting down his knife on the cutting board of vegetables, Hijikata nodded and cleaned his hands with a dishtowel that had been sitting, crumpled up in the corner of the counter. 

"...Alright, I'll take a bath, I'll get cleaned up, I'll...relax". 

"There ya go. Go ahead. Make the most of it, 'cause I bought you new body wash. Baths are to be pleasurable, so indulge for a while and get rid of all that tension, huh?" 

Playfully, Gintoki smacked the back of his hand-quite gently-across Hijikata's arm with a grin, receiving a kiss for it instead of getting smacked back. And Gintoki simply watched Hijikata get his butt over to the bathroom for a long, needed break. A bath with some maple or vanilla body wash would help a shitton. Gintoki clapped his hands together and quietly continued with dinner, taking control of the kitchen until Hijikata got back in a better mood and condition. 

"That Mayora's really done it, hasn't he?" 

"What's that, kiddo?" 

Kagura raised her head from all the notes and her textbook with a smile. She wasn't bothered or disturbed, but more sympathising and kind about it. 

"He's made you pretty happy, and by the looks of things it goes both ways, aru". 

"Yeah, it does. And, yeah, I'm...I'm happy. I'm not uncomfortable to admit that I'm feeling good about this relationship and that...Everything's...good. It's good. So, er...How are things with that moronic big brother of yours? Did you, er, talk while I went to get snacks?" 

"I gave him the bento I made. Put too much salt in it, but it was still edible, he said". 

"Oh, good. At least your brother and I are mutal on something. Geez...When I've got time, you're gonna sit your ass down and chef Gin-san will teach you how to cook the most basic foods, you got that?" 

"Sure. Thanks, Gin-chan".

With no warning whatsoever, in the middle of their conversation with a few more topics on Gintoki's mind, the front door opened out of nowhere. Naturally, Gintoki flinched and peered over towards the door. Only then did he furrow his brow and sigh when his eyes met their unexpected guest's. 

"Hey, Danna. Is Hijikata-san here?" 

"Okita-kun, what the hell are you doing here?" 

Okita was acting pretty aloof, rolling his eyes as though Gintoki should have known why he was here. 

"Hijikata-san invited me over to eat with you guys, since he owes me after the whole incident with Kamui. The fact that I brought him in is huge, since he's a gang leader and all. So here I am. I heard it was udon, so I'm not gonna say no". 

"Doesn't mean you have to barge in. Learn to knock, brat. Take a seat, 'cause dinner's gonna take a while".

Okita did just that without another word passed off to Gintoki. At the table...He chose to sit at the dining table for convenience, although there was a great lack of comfortability, and out of curiosity when seeing the China Girl work away on homework. That was obvious upon first glance at both the laid out notes, textbook and the annoyed expression on her face as she struggled with the next problem, he assumed. 

"Hey, China Girl. What kinda homework ya got?"

"English...I hate it. When the hell am I ever gonna use it? I'm not gonna leave Japan, so why the hell-". 

"You know it's expected for someone to know English in this country for jobs that need you to talk to tourists and such, right?" 

"...". 

Kagura slammed down her pencil, dropping her head against the surface of the table in utter defeat. Okita, of course, rolled his eyes and took it upon himself to shift over the notes to look over them. It wasn't ideal for him to go over old, middle school work that he had already surpassed and finished when he had his own college work to go over, but this was the China Girl and the China Girl was useless, to put it nicely. 

"China Girl, I can already see plenty of stupid mistakes. Looks like you learned these translations from Google Translate". 

"Like hell I did!" Her head shot up, slamming her palm on the table's surface this time, clenching her teeth in anfer at his assumptions. 

"Look, you're writing words in the wrong order, and you're missing out vital grammer that kindergarteners in the west can write out". 

"Well, we don't live there, do we? I learned how to write every tiny detail in japanese characters, not english letters". 

"I'll help you with it, alright? Got nothin' better to do since-Hey, where is the mayo-addict now?" He was going to say "since Hijikata wasn't around", but his absence led Okita to ask with puzzlement stuck to his face as he looked around the main area of the apartment from the table. 

"Takin' a bath". Gintoki answered, of course, as he emptied his board of noodle-shaped pieces of dough into a pot of salted water, to be boiled. "A nice, long bath will be good for him". 

The words became a cue; a cue for Hijikata to open the bathroom door and step out in fresh clothes, his hair damp, his body warmed up, his mind a little more focused. However, upon seeing him exit the bathroom so soon, Gintoki was unimpressed. 

"Uh, excuse me? What are you doing out of the tub already?" 

"I didn't want to pass out in the bath when I'm already so tired". Hijikata wasn't lying. He didn't have much of a reason to since he liied long baths just as much as the next person, but it didn't stop Gintoki from arguing nicely, with concern. 

"Do you at least feel better?" 

"I do, thanks. Much better. The body wash you gave me was nice". 

"Really? C'mere, lemme see". Gintoki came forward, holding out his hands to grasp Hijikata's. When their fingers locked, he leaned in a little and took a whiff. "Ooh, that's...Wow. That's sweet. But, well, it's much nicer when the scent's on you". 

"No need for flattery". 

"It's not flattery, I-...My god, you smell amazing". 

The sniffing was a little odd, but being so close to Gintoki was not a bad thing. The only time that it was really strange and uncomfortable was when two kids were staring at them from the dining table instead of going over homework. Okita had arrived, sitting next to Kagura with a share of notes on his side...It made sense. But, anyway, there was discomfort, but Gintoki was wise enough to know when to stop the abnormality of his actions from excelling any further. He simply pulled away and gave a soft smile without a care on how the two kids thoughts. They turned their heads back to the homework and that was that. 

"Er, is dinner gonna be ready soon?" 

"Hn? O-oh, yeah, soon. Help me out, will ya? Since you're already outta the bath". 

Helping out and doing something productive was more desirable in Hijikata's head than passing out in a hot bath with the smell of maple lingering in the after-steam of the shower. There was always later to relax, when their stomachs were full and Kagura had finished her homework. 

... 

Gintoki and Hijikata kept to themselves during the evening after a damn good dinner and at least two servings of tea. Kagura had finally let out the single most relieved sigh for any middle school student when the homework was done, and the night's revision for the upcoming exam was done. Beside Okita, she fell into the sofa, slouching down with irritated, tired eyes and sore fingers. Okita, on the other hand, was getting a sore head from going over so much with her. The english language was never an easy topic for him either, and all those traumatic memories were coming right back when watching Kagura stress over it.

"Glad that's over...". She huffed, rubbing the sleep from her eyes with little success. 

"You and me both. Good luck with the exam". 

"Ugh, screw you". 

"No, I mean it. It's not easy. Even I struggled with it; that shit was horrible". 

So even this guy wasn't some academic genius. No, according to Kagura's personal grudge against him, Okita was a moron in her eyes. A total moron with a sadistic personality and the worst qualities a human being could have. But hearing that even he struggled with school subjects gave a more humane impression, that he could relate to Kagura somehow instead of acting like he was above her intellect. 

"It is. And I'll be there for at least another year before high school". 

"Do you know what high school you wanna go to?" 

"I don't have a lot of options. I'll figure it out, though". 

"Okay. Sure...". 

This was mainly small talk and they both could only bear it for so long. The main topic remained in Okita's mind while any other conversation idea was stagnant at the back of his big, moronic brain. Kagura would have rolled her eyes and said "if you wanna ask about it, get it over with" and he would without feeling like he was imposing or sniffing around the wrong scene, where everyone's business was involved but his own; Kagura's, Hijikata's, even Gintoki's, but not Okita's - the police's beagle. Or, to be more insulting, their little brunette, big-eyed, biting chihuahua. Luckily for him, the China Girl caught on to his glances and fidgeting. He wasn't the type to crave a good conversation topic. This was the most "sociable' the sadistic chihuahua would be, although we add air-quotes because this topic in particular had nothing to do with socialising. Plain and simply put, it was curiosity. 

"Kamui's fine, by the way. I'm sure you wanted to know". 

"Uh...Kinda, yeah. But...I was gonna ask if...You were okay, as stupid as that question is". 

"No, no, no, don't try to look good now. Just admit that you wanted to know about my brother and move on. I'm fine, I guess. I mean, my big bro's going to prison, so...". 

"You know that he has to go". 

"I do know, and I understand why. But it doesn't mean that it's any less of a pain for me to see that idiot land himself in this-...This place where he actually belongs. He belongs in prison, but at the same time, he shouldn't belong. He belongs at home, our home, where our family began. You know what I mean?" 

"I do, actually. 'Course, I can't relate 'cause my big sister was a good person, but, yeah, I see where you're coming from". 

And, of course, Kagura shot him a look of "that doesn't make me feel the least bit better, jackass" in a harsh scorn. But she couldn't add to it with a snarky retort. Instead she sighed and looked back down at her knees, saddened, lost in this fog of sorrow and acceptance. A weird combination, yes, but as much as she hated her brother's situation she had to accept that this was the way things had to be. Some older siblijgs are good, and some...Not so much. 

"We...We actually talked, properly, like we really were brother and sister. Uh, kind of. It was a relief, like nothing had changed from when we were kids except our ages...and life choices". 

"...". 

"It shouldn't be strange or stupid of me to admit that I really miss that-...That idiot...". 

"It doesn't sound stupid to me". Those words...So aloof, yet so enlightening and refreshing...Gintoki would say that in the exact same way, and it gained Kagura's attention, letting her know that she wasn't strange for missing her criminal big brother. It wasn't strange at all. "Even if he is a felon, he's your brother. The legal system won't change that unless you disown him. Considering your little speech there, I doubt you'd go down that road". 

Kagura shook her head, agreeing, managing a smile to keep tears in. She expected them, but they never came - not a single tear brimmed across her lower eyelids, turning them red with irritation. Nothing. Only relief that Gintoki wasn't the only one there to give support. As strange as it was, Okita chose to do so, too. 

"Thanks, sadist". 

"No problem, China Girl. I think I'm getting better at this whole comforting thing". 

"You're improving, I'll say that much, aru". 

A pat on her head, and suddenly there wasn't much weight to her emotions. Of course a simple pat on the head wasn't the whole reason behind her smile, but Okita's refreshing words that encouraged her and reassured her of things she already knew at the back of her mind. To her surprise, that wasn't all. 

"When are ya gonna see him next?" 

"Tomorrow, after school". 

"Need some support?" 

"Huh? No, idiot. I'll be fine by myself this time. Gin-chan just gave me a boost today, but now I know that I can handle it". 

"I was just asking...". 

His kindness was foreign, and Kagura had a right to be suspicious of his character. But, what reason was there now? A hospital trip to visit an unarmed, defensless gang leader, Kamui, Kagura's big brother, with his fucking...smile. Right, she didn't have much of an excuse to say no other than "I don't want you to come, I can manage alone". Maybe she wanted to see how that visit would turn out. Not like they could start a fight in a hospital room, right? They were bound not to; one tied by injuries and bandages in a hospital bed, and the other bound by the cop that would inevitably be guarding the door outside. What was the harm really? For the time being, Kagura struggled to think of anything. If it was merely for morale support, then hop on board, Okita. Hop on board to Kagura's nervous wreck train where she sits in the corner seat, banging the heel of her foot against the floor in an anxious temper; the inbetween to frustration and total composure, thinking about her big brother and the wonderful, whacky conversations they could have after all these years of seperation and hurt. 

Yeah, not a fun ride. But he had taken psychology, Okita had experience with an older sister who suffered several years in hospital with tuberculosis. He, too, had experienced the anxious tapping of the foot on smooth tile with his eyes focused squarely on the twiddling of his thumbs or the clean flooring that smelled like bathroom products. He understood what she would be going through on this totally depressing journey, yet he still offered. He understood...Yet he was willing to help her end the tapping, and to focus elsewhere with her head held as high as her positivity and hopes should have been. 

"Haah...Alright. You can come-but don't staet anything with Kamui, I'm serious". 

"What, you think I'd fight an unarmed invalid? I have standards. I'm going because...Y'know...". He didn't give an answer, but she already kind of new where he was going with that, and she understood that there was no need for him to finish. "Gettin' a little late. Maybe we should, er, leave the two fruitcakes alone for the night? I need to get home, anyway. Study my ass off for the exam next week". 

"Yours is next week? Pah...Good luck". 

"Oi, I offered genuine encouragement. Don't throw that back in my face, ya brat". 

"Hmph...Sorry...". 

"You will be. Oi, Hijikata, Danna, we're off. Enjoy...Whatever you two...do". 

The two sat up, both gazes staring awkwardly towards the couple of lovey-dovey idiots sitting closely in the corner, sharing a loveseat over two mugs of sweet tea, talking away with giddly smiles, probably uttering nicknames in a hushed tone so the kids couldn't hear. They wore their normal, serious and dead-eyed expressions when their attention was brought to those kids who had stood up and were ready to leave. Gintoki sat up properly, putting down his tea of the end table beside him. 

"Alright. Kagura, get to bed as soon as possible. Don't stay up to late. I'll be staying here tonight, but I'll be back early enough to make your lunch up, okay?" 

"Okay. Thanks, Gin-chan. Goodnight. Night, Mayora". 

"See ya, kiddo. Have a safe trip home, Sougo. Unless, you-". 

"I've got it, Hijikata. I'm not a kid anymore, I can walk home alone. See ya, Danna. Be gentle with Hijikata-san, 'cause the last time he sat his ass down at his desk he nearly fainted". 

Embarrassed and frustrated with such a demeaning-and totally untrue-snarky comment, Hijikata's first instinct was to pull out a cushion from behind his back and toss it in Okita's general direction. He only just missed, but it was encouraging enough to send Okita bolting out towards the front door with Kagura casually following behind him, rolling her eyes. When the click, moment of silence, and slam of the front door occured, Hijikata sat back again and relaxed with the pillows as his support. Grinning, giddy, Gintoki also leaned back, snuggling up to Hijikata comfortably, painting the picture in his head. 

"Um, I doubt that you would almost faint from sitting on your ass after...But...". Gintoki innocently shifted some strands of hair out of Hijikata's face, still imagining him suffering the consewuences of being on his back-or hands and knees-in one, lustful, beautiful- 

"Okay, quit it. I'm actually not affected after...After those nights. My-...My hips are perfectly fine, and I wouldn't-...faint over that. Sougo's trying to be a tease and...". 

"Hey, it's fine, it's fine. You take him too seriously". 

"It's funny because he needs to take things a little more seriously, especially with all the-". 

"Ah, ah, ah, don't. No work talk right now. It's time to relax and cuddle with me, Gin-san. And we both know that I give the best cuddles. So focus on that, okay, baby?" 

"Did-...Did you just call me that?" 

"Oof...Too soon?" 

"Little bit". 

"Ah...Sorry. Sounded better in my head. I dunno, I guess I wanted to try it out". 

"What, so we could feel like a normal couple?" 

"Nah, there's nothing normal about us. Not that that's a bad thing, though". 

"Hm...Yeah, we're pretty weird". 

"Super fucking weird". 

"Hmhm...". 

The shift in silly little topics was fun for a while, a nice distraction from work and the exhaustion that often followed him around like luggage. Gintoki cupped Hijikata's cheek, the one farthest away from him, and placed a soft kiss on the closest one with a smile. In order to pull Hijikata out of the most frustrating period of exhaustion was to cheer him up; crack a smile or something to indicate that what Gintoki was doing was making him feel better after a long night, and morning, at work. Hijikata could see it, and appreciated it. 

"So, um, do you wanna...go upstairs and...Uh...Fuck,,I dunno where to take the situation from here after admitting how fucking weird we are together".

"Hah...Um...Let's just go upstairs and see where it goes. It isn't always weird with us, Gintoki. Sometimes the stuff we do or talk about feels pretty normal, to me, at least". 

"Yeah...Yeah, you're right". 

"So...". Hijikata slapped his knees, taking the initiative this time around, ignoring how tired he was. However... "Let's go upstairs". Gintoki couldn't ignore it. 

Having Hijikata's hand held out to him, wanting him to be brought to his feet in earnest of what was to come under toasty bedsheets, Gintoki's natural instinct was to hold it and stand up with some assistance. But he was going to consider Hijikata's condition and quickly figure out a way for them to get the best of both worlds without doing anything too draining or overwhelming. If he knew, Hijikata would decline politely, but appreciate Gintoki's new-found kindess and attentitiveness, you might say. Off to the bedroom, and off to figure out how to give Hijikata what he wanted without going overboard and causing him to pass out in the middle. 

... 

Hospitals at night were quiet. Children's hospitals, as far as Kamui knew from previous injuries and accidents, had a lot more life in them until at least eleven o'clock at night when children were still figuring out new devices in those previous years. But this was a hospital dedicated to patients of all ages, and Kamui was stuck on the lifeless floor in a private room with no sound and only darkness, excluding the dozens of lights that stretched far across this wide, open city. He was trapped in a cage of sorts, stuck on his back with only a plain, white ceiling to stare at until he gained the will to fall asleep and put an end to this day. 

Being in this position wasn't exactly comfortable, but there was no way for Kamui to turn on his side without hurting himself, somewhere. No other choice but to lie on his back and wait to fall asleep. The first step was to close his eyes and let it happen while blanking out the uncomfortability and the unbearable silence. Leaving himself in the center of complete, pitch black darkness, Kamui's mind's eyes could explore and create images out of memory or imagination. But out of every imaginable thing he could bring up in thought, it had to be his earlier meeting with his little sister. Of all things... 

Surprisingly there was no frustration when recurring these thoughts and images, only indifference that looked forced by this point. Forcing himself to act like he didn't give one was the frustrating part. Today, on that day, he didn't ignore or push Kagura way this time. He made the effort and exchanged words for the first time-the first, real time-in months. She probably conversed with the old baldy more often over letters since he had no idea what an e-mail was. While lying there, struggling to fall into a peaceful sleep, Kamui offered himself some half-assed advice on keeping a distance from Kagura. Right now, that wasn't possible. If he ignored her then maybe she would give up, go home and never visit him while he was in prison, serving a sentence. Just maybe. 

But that girl was persistent, and stubborn, and he knew where that shit came from; their father. He was as stubborn as an uppity mule, grazing in the corner of a field that apparently belong to him and his family-who couldn't...graze anywhere else but the corner, even if the grass was gone and the soil became infertile. What frustrated Kamui was the old man. Always the old man. 

("Stay away from those gangs, ya dumb brat. And especially Housen; that bastard's trouble, and I won't have you involved in his bullshit") 

"Tch...Go choke on your own bullshit, baldy". 

A spiteful whisoer in the darkness was unheard, and only bounced back into the tumble week of frustration known as Kamui's childhood memories. Even now, he was shorter than the old man. And even now he was still a boy in his eyes. But through all of that he beared no hatred towards Kagura, or...Or his mother. He just wanted to stay away from those memories, but it was hard. It was very hard to keep her smile and the scent of her perfume out of his head. 

("Kamui, I want you both to be safe...Please..."). 

It made sense that no ill-will came to mind over them, over Kagura and Kouka. No anger or spite...Just good ol' fashioned regret and forced indifference. Nothing else... 

...

... 

Not a lot happened the previous night. That honestly wasn't surprising since Gintoki was already concerned about the dark crescents under Hijikata's eyes and the pull of his body as he walked, as well as the yawning, the all-nighter he had with only a homemade bento for sustenance. So nothing really happened under the bedsheets, just a moment for them both to get off and that was that. Hijikata complained, arguing that he could handle it as he pulled Gintoki in for a kiss. Gintoki, on the other hand, let his concern take over, but it was for Hijikata's own good. Passing out in the middle was never ideal, and it'd leave a bad taste in their mouths the next morning, and not just morning breath. 

Hijikata did say, upon waking and meeting Gintoki's eyes, that he rested well with a dazed little smile on his face. His dazed expression made it evident that he wasn't fully awake yet. But eith some coffee and breakfast, that would turn around. The grogginess had spread to Gintoki as well, being the one to get up early and prepare Kagura's lunch for school. It affected them both, and with the morning chill hitting them they didn't know whether they wanted to crawl back into bed or wake up completely. Hijikata's yawn came through in a frosted vapour, his shoukders trembling for a moment even under his coat. Naturally he reached for a cigarette, hoping it woukd warm him up somehow. Yet again another full packet left his pocket. 

"We can sit in, if you'd like. This time of year, the coffee place keeps the heaters on. No wonder the place gets so much business around winter". 

"Good...Perfect. Freezing my ass off out here...". Hijikata inhaled and exhaled deeply, already feeling the warm comfort of tobacco and one-step-further-to-lung-cancer. With the direction he was going, smoking less and less, lung cancer was becoming less of a risk and more of a possibility in the far future. And if he decided to quit... 

"Hey, I'm freezing, too. We'll get warm, eat and go home to lie around lazily until you have to drag yourself back into work". 

"I like my job. I'm not necessarily dragging myself in".

"I drag myself into the office and into my desk chair almost everyday, trying to get through another chapter, hoping it's not a pile of dog shit". 

"It never is, Gintoki". 

"Oh, yeah? Well...How about when I'm finished, you can be the first to read the manuscript? How does that sound?" 

"Hah...Uh...Wait, really?" 

"Uh-huh. You can critic me". 

A picture was neatly and vividly painted in Gintoki's head; Hijikata lying in bed in nothing but a pair of boxer briefs and an over-sized sweater as he reads over the manuscript, letting his mind escape into the world of fiction as it always did, whenever Gintoki caught him reading one of his books. He'd be so engulfed in the story and developments that he would make Gintok8 wait before cuddling uo to make love. Only when reaching the final words would Hijikata roll over and give a positive opinion through a deep, passionate kiss. How sexy would the novel have to be in order for such a far-fetched dream to come true? Not a sexy novel, just good, according to the old hag. So far, when the idea of being the first reader of the new novel crossed Hijikata's mind, he looked quite excited. 

"Wow, um...Y-yeah, sure. Of course I'll read it. I mean, I'll...be quite critical and just as stern as Otose, so you'd better work your ass off and produce something worth the read". 

"Ohh, okay. I kinda like it when you show a more firm side, but I am working my ass off. Since you're gonna get to read one of the first copies, I'll...attempt to work twice as hard. Don't wanna push myself". 

"No, of course not. Haa...Now I have something to look forward to...". 

"Mm-hm". Although they were nearing the coffee place, a public place, Gintoki happily, contently, slid his fingers through and between Hijikata's, closing the gap that lay between them.

The relief was immaculate. And, not to sound too corny but, it made Hijikata feel warmth through winter's harsh chill. Work hadn't been easy as of late (hell, it never was) but there was always that something to make it even a little less stressful on the brain. And how sweet. Hand-holding in a public place. How kind. Really. That was a huge thing for them; holding hands in front of other people without giving a damn. Not one damn.

Even when entering the coffee place, Gintoki hesitated to let go as if to say "yeah, we're a thing, deal with it, take a picture like you're at the fuckin' zoo". Aggressive, yes, but, it was frustrating when the people stared, like they were at a-...a freak show. Nothing freakish about a happy, healthy relationship without gender in mind, ladies and gentlemen. As far as they knew, no homophobes sat around this coffee shop, so no harm done...on either side. 

Surprisingly, there wasn't much of a queue and there were even free tables. Dirty with coffee stains and empty mugs, but free all the same. When standing in the brief line, in silence, they took it as a cue to unlink hands and share an awkward-ish smile to brush off the over-bearing lack of noise. It's what made them feel like people were actually staring with their jaws dropped between their feet. Gintoki looked around, wanting to find a seat to grab before anyone else took it and they would be forced to order two to go. In the middle of his search, hooefully for a cosy little booth, his eyes came across...Probably the most interesting thing in the room, aside from the handsome man standing right next to him. In other words...The most interesting woman in the room. Anxious, tense, in a moment of pure excitement, Gintoki's eyes remained affixed but his hand desperately tapped Hijikata's shoulder to gain his attention. Why? It was the first idea that popped up in his head, semi-consciously. 

"Hi-Hijikata...Hijikata...". He was whispering, holding back a louder voice as best he could. 

"Wh-what? What's the matter, dumbass? What're you so energetic for?" 

"It-it-it-...It's her. Oh my god...Hijikata, it's her...A-A...Ana Ketsuno. Right. There".

Curiously, feeling weird by witnessing Gintoki in this little state of either panic or joy (or both), Hijikata followed Gintoki's eyes to the corner booth of the shop. A young woman was sitting there alone, wearing a pair of sun glasses. Her hair would be considered recognisaboe as the famous weather reporter's, plus she was quite small. It was likely to be her-how could her number one fan make a mistake like that? He couldn't. No, really. He had a figurine of her in his bedroom that was very accurate. Panicked, Gintoki turned to Hijikata, trying not to accidentally make eye-contact with her if, by chance, she took notice of his staring. 

"Hey, you okay there?" 

"Y-yeah, I'm fine. I...Fuck, I...Sh-should I go talk to-No. Bad idea. Or maybe...Ah, shit, I'm getting a damn headache thinking about it~". 

"Haha...". 

"Wh-what, bastard? Is this funny to you?" 

"No, Gintoki. I...You look...kinda cute when you're nervous". 

"What's that? I'm not nervous. Pfft...Yeah, right. I'm not-". 

"She's looking you're way". 

"Shut up! No she isn't!"

"Gintoki, c'mon, why not...Talk to her?" Hijiiata gave Gintoki a boost by, first of all, gently patting his back, smiling kindly, trying not to laugh. "What's the worst that could happen?" 

"Hoo...I know. God...". Gintoki buried his face in his hands. "I feel like an idiot. I'm a grown man and she's...Augh, sorry, Hijikata. I don't wanna...fanboy in front of you". 

"Don't worry about it. Hasn't it been your dream to talk to her? Now's your chance. C'mon, where's the cocky natural perm who'd charge in, head-on, at this opportunity?" 

"Well he's...dating someone else at the moment, who he likes very much and doesn't want to come on too strongly towards his favourite weather girl". 

"Ah...Still, you have my blessing. Say hi and...Y'know, ask for an autograph?" 

"On what?" 

"Gintoki, there are literally hundreds of napkins in this place". 

"What, am I supposed to photo-frame a signed napkin?" 

"Yes! Here...". From a random, layed out pile of pale white napkins, Hijikata snatched one up and literally put it in Gintoki's hand. To which, Gintoki laid it flat out on the table, wiping out the creases frantically. 

"Oi, oi, don't scrunch it up. I'm gonna ask for a really pretty signature on this thing".

A smile appeared on Hijikata's face, even when knowing how much of a fanboy Gintoki really was for Ana Ketsuno. Sympathetic to his dream coming true, Hijikata stroked the back of his hair and was tempted in giving Gintoki a kiss for a boost. He held back on that one. 

"It'll be fine. I'll get us a table, order our food, and you can talk to her until then". 

"Thanks...Thank you, Hijikata. I won't sit with her, just...say hi and hand over the napkin...at some point. Haa, okay. Okay...". 

"First, what do you wanna have? I'm almost at the beginning of the queue". 

"Oh, shit. I'll have, er, a caramel macchiato and a double chocolate muffin. Thanks". 

"You're welcome. Now go. Be smooth, like you usually are". 

"Ahem, right, of course. Who do you think I am? Haa...Be back soon...".

The anxiety followed behind him as he very hesitantly tried to walk across the room, towards the corner booth, hanging on to every other surface as he went, as a method to stay standing. Hijikata held in his chuckles, wanting to support Gintoki more than to make fun of him for how adorable this was. As Hijikata stood by an admired, he almost forgot about his position in the line. The woman behind the counter had called for him twice, and the second time was when he woke up and moved forward to place his order after a quick apology. 

Gintoki's legs were shaking a bit, and the pressure only grew more intense as his heart was fit to burst under such circumstances. Upon closer inspection, his favourite weather girl was definitely the one sitting in the corner booth, wearing sunglasses in winter--winter, for crying out loud! No one else noticed her presence, but Gintoki did. That may have sparked a few panicked thoughts of "what if I'm bothering her?" Is this gonna attract other people's attention?" "Shiiitt...". When he was already so close, he already wanted to back out and crawl under a rock somewhere. Despite it being so cold today, the heat inside the shop was killing him. Each drop of sweat felt like a bullet scraping down his back and cheeks, which were stained with red roses. Made him feel like a fucking teenager meeting his crush by the bike racks with a confession letter scrunching up in his hands. Only he was a grown man, and the bike racks were in fact this corner booth in a public coffee place, and the confession letter was a plain, white napkin for her autogrsph. Dear god it sounded more pathetic than the teenage, meet-up, confession by the bike racks bullshit. 

"U-uhm, e-excuse me...". The usually confident and careless Gintoki was finding trouble forming words. Only then, when he managed to talk, his voice cracked under the pressure. She didn't take notice until he had to clear his throat. Ana Ketsuno looked up from the novel she was reading, pondering at this weirdo who suddenly approuched her seat, sweating like he had run a marathon...twice. It was so, fucking bad...Oh god it was bad... 

"Erm, yes? Can I help you?" 

"N-no, it's just...You look-Heh...You look familiar. Are-...Are you a celebrity or something?" He had to make sure! He was positive it was her, but he was panicking and he had no idea what to say to her! He had to make sure it was her first! 

"O-oh, um...So you recognise me. Ehh...This is embarrassing. I'm-...I'm just here for a coffee, so...". 

"B-but you are Ana Ketsuno, right? I mean, I'd recognise you anywhere; you're so pretty and-Ahem! I, I'm your biggest fan, Miss Ketsuno-". 

"Sorry, it's-...I prefer "Ms" Ketsuno". 

"E-excuse me. Haha...Um...Ms. Ketsuno, I'm...I'm you number one fan and I...This is like a dream to meet you". 

"Hah, I...I get that a lot. A lot of "I'm your biggest fan", but thank you anyway. That's very sweet". 

She was uncomfortable. Gintoki could see it, anyone in this coffee place could see it. Anyone walking on the fucking moon could see how embarrassed and uncomfortable she was to be talking to this guy! He didn't want to bother her any longer, but his mouth keot yapping, trying not to make the conversation anymore awkward than it was. Too late, Gintoki. Too late, my dude. 

"S-so, er, what book are you reading, if you don't mind my asking?" Is that a personal question digging into her life story? No! Why would she mind?! 

"Oh! It's "Falling Stars" by the author "Gin". I love their books, I'm a big fan. See? I'm like everyone else, I'm...not that special...". 

"Wait, you're a fan of "Gin"?" Well what a coincidence. You're only sitting in front of the author! Not that he could say that, but still! Not that she would know, but still! 

"I'm sure a lot of people are...".

"Yeah...", 

Outside of this awkward scene, Hijikata was busy saving them a table, placing a tray of their orders down onto its surface. As he did, his cell phone buzzed within his coat pocket and, of course, he picked up. The caller ID stated that it was Kondo. Probably calling from work. 

"Hello...?" 

["Ah, Toshi, good...Good that you picked up"]. 

"Yeah, um, why? What's going on?" 

He glanced over to where Gintoki stood, hoping he would be able to hang in there with Ana Ketsuno until this phone call was over. He didn't want to be rude, after all. But littoe did he know how important this phone call would be. It was from Kondo, at work. So, at the back of his mind, he knew...He knew something was wrong, and it wasn't as easy as asking for an extra hand on patrol. 

"So, erm, if you don't mind, Ms Ketsuno, would it be too much trouble if I, maybe, possibly, could get your...autograph? I don't have anything but a napkin but it'll work, right?" 

"O-oh, sorry. I don't really hand out autographs. I'm a weather girl not a pop idol...". 

"Um...That's okay! That's fine, Ms Ketsuno...". Even she could hear the disappointment in his voice; the physical imbodiment of emotional heart-break strung within Gintoki's cracking, coy tone of voice. "Sorry to, er, bother you. It's just...I really wanted to meet you and talk to you. My, ah, partner over there gave me a little push, and I'm the kinda guy that says "to hell with it, you only live once". But I didn't wanna be a bother so...". 

"Wait, your partner?" 

"Yeah, my partner, I guess you could call it. H-he...He's over there, saving a table for us". 

Gintoki pointed at Hijikata, although slightly hesitent. He wasn't afraid to admit that his "partner" was a man and that he got a little boost from him, but he had never imagined that he would admit it to Ana Ketsuno like she was a close friend or something. She was close to Gintoki's heart, figuritively, but she wasn't the tyoe of person you reveal your personal life to during the first conversation. 

Hijikata appeared to be on the phone, giving a little wave to Gintoki, in encouragement. That's how Gintoki wanted to see it because so far this meeting was painful. So far it was. 

"You're partner...Y'know what, okay". 

"Huh...?" 

"I think I have a pen somewhere in my purse. I'll sign that napkin you've got there". 

"Really?! Holy shi-I mean, holy...cow". Not wanting to express vulgar language in front of the lady, it was wise of Gintoki to quickly retract his enthusiastic remark, still blushing like a little kid on his first date. "Thanks, Ms Ketsuno". 

"It's nothing, really". Really? She made a bit of a fuss earlier. At the back of Gintoki's mind, he knew it was odd for her to decline giving her autograph out, and then to change her mind after Gintoki pointed out Hijikata, his same-sex partner in crime (ironic since ye was a cop, but anyway, we're rambling here). Ketsuno took the napkin between her delicate fingers, wiping out any creases to make room for her signature. "Who should I make it out to?" 

"Ah...Gintoki. O-or Gin-san? Whatever you prefer, Ms. Ketsuno". 

Puzzled, maybe even curious, Ketsuno raised her head, tilting it to the side as if trying to solve a problem on Gintoki's face. 

"Gin-san...?" 

"Yeah...Is something the matter?" 

"O-oh, no. Okay..."To my number one fan, Gintoki. Lots of love and kisses, Ana Ketsuno"...Here you go". 

Such pretty handwriting, coloured in red pen with a heart sign above the "i" in "kisses". Gintoki found it hard to take his eyes away, but remembering that the lady herself was sitting right in front of him, he could look uo and smile. 

"Thank you, Ms. Ketsuno. It's sounds lame, but I'll treasure this". 

"That's alright. It was nice meeting you". 

"A pleasure-No, an honor to meet you, Ms. Ketsuno. I, uh...I'll leave you to your coffee. Okay...Um, bye". 

"Bye, Gin-san". She was smiling, being polite, and it must have been genuine. For the dream and the fantasy combined to stay alive, it had to remain genuine. If she was putting on a face it would be the same as when children find out that Saint Nick doesn't exist. 

Gintoki walked over to where Hijikata sat, where he had only just shut off his phone. Their eyes met, and Hijikata smiled in anticipation for the news of his little accomplishment. 

"So...?" He began, picking up Gintoki macchiato and muffin from the tray to set them on his side of the table. "How'd it go?" 

The reserved chair skidded across the floor when Gintoki almost collapsed onto it; his legs wobbling and his cheeks flaring a deep red. 

"I...Well, first off, I need to pee really badly". 

"You were that...nervous?" 

"Fuck no. I'm not a kid. I just forgot to go this morning 'cause I was making Kagura's bento". 

"Ah...". 

"Second, I got. Her fucking. Autograph. On a napkin!" 

Gintoki slapped the napkin onto the table, giddy like it was Christmas today--better than Christmas, even. 

"Wow, holy shit. I, I'm so proud of you". 

"Hey, I'm proud of me too. It was kinda weird, though. At first she said no, but after I mentioned you she agreed and happily gave me her signature". 

"Really? Huh...That's a weird one...". 

"Doesn't matter, though. I. Fucking spoke. To Ana Ketsuno, the weather girl. Shinpachi and his adolescent pop idol wannabe can suck it".

"That was uncalled for, but I'm...I'm really happy for you. Honestly...C'mere, bring it in". 

Hijikata pulled his chair in close to Gintoki's, wrapping an arm around him, grasping his hand to mark the knuckles with kisses, lacing his fingers through to simply hold it in congratulations of his brave efforts as a fan. And it was calming. It was so wonderfully calming that Gintoki almost didn't give a damn about the gawkers in the coffee place, filling up the other tables...Almost. 

"The fuck you lookin' at?" 

He pulled a spiteful grimace at a woman sitting across from them with her other female, gawking friends. As soon as he rhetorically asked, they stopped looking and minded their own business with freaked out demeanors. 

"So, who were you talking to on the phone? If it's any of business". 

At that question, in two seconds, with a pause, the satisfied, "I'm so happy for you" face dropped into a more serious demeanor, yet Hijikata still held Gintoki's hand and still huddled with him at this small table with their coffees slowly losing heat as they waited. 

"I...That was Kondo-san. Apparently three cops were seriously injured last night, and they collected definitive evidence saying it was Kamui's gang". 

"Seriously? Oh my god...Do-...Do you have to go into work earlier?" 

"...Yeah. I-...I do. Saito was one of the injured and, knowing him, he managed to make an arrest. Since it's my investigation, I need to question him. If we're lucky, he'll crack and give us a location". 

"Can't another cop do it? I mean, there's plenty of guys on the case, right?" 

"Yeah, but...I didn't get my infamous title for nothing, Gintoki. I question criminals all the time, and they crack. Three cops were injured, and I can't wait to act. It could happen again, and...I'm sorry. I said I'd be there in an hour, so I've still got some time, if that's alright". 

"...We can still sit in?" 

"Yes, of course. Of course we can still sit in here, have our coffee and such. And I'll be able to see you tonight. With any luck, this whole gang business will be over in a few days. We're that close". 

"Okay, okay. I understand, anyway. We have an hour...Plenty of time for me to brag about my autographed napkin". 

Chuckling softly, clenching Gintoki's hand as both an apology and for gratitude, Hijikata leaned in a little more, eyes closed. He rested his forehead to Gintoki's in a moment of bliss, wanting to show only affection to him. In a way, he was pouring his heart out, thanking Gintoki without words; "thank you for understand", or "thank you for being there everyday even if I can't be"..."thank you for just being there"..."oh, and brag all you want, Gintoki, I'll listen". An hour was more than enough time for that. 

... 

... 

Deja vu struck. Except the sky was brighter and the school uniform was uncomfortable. As they had organised, Kagura stood in front of the Takanawa Hosptial, waiting for Okita to show up. Her legs ached, it was cold, and there was the lingering restlessness that haunted her ever since Kamui was put into hospital. When thinking about that, the harsh, sting of the cold was beyond her conscious thoughts and lay in the background as a bearable irritation. Yeah there were goosebumps, but that, in her mind, was the anxiety playing up. Not like Kamui was knocking on deaths door, but he might as well be with Kagura as pissed as she was; for what happened, and the other shit he pulled in the past for walking out. Yet, no matter what, anxiety and the reality that she missed her brother was still there, in the foreground, breaking out in bigger goosepimples...If they could get any bigger. 

"Are you an idiot? It's cold, wait inside the hospital. They have a lobby with beverage dispensers". 

Kagura cocked her head, frowing at Mr Obvious as he approuched. Couldn't have called out to her sooner. Oh, no, he needed time to come up with the snarky comment. That took as much effort as the smirk he pulled, and the audacity to pat Kagura's head, rubbing her hair. She slapped his hand away, only hurting her own, causing it to redden even more from the weather. Smart move, China Girl. Smart move. 

"What's with this attitude? Don't touch me so easily or I'll scream "creep". Now hurry up, it's cold". 

"Again, could've waited inside". 

"It's crowded in there!" 

"Oh, so I wouldn't be able to spot you 'cause your so tiny. Good thinking". 

"Why did you come here again?" 

Leading the way inside, Kagura didn't even look at Okita. She merely decided to get into a contest of retorts and back-talk with a red-hot attitude right up to their ears. 

"I told you: for some support. It's kinda annoying to see a big brother act coldly towards his little sister, especially since you've helped him...to an extent". Oh, yeah, 'cause even though she called an ambulance and saved his sorry ass, he was still going to prison. Right... "I've had a big sister, I know how the older one is supposed to act and treat the youngest". 

"What, spoiling them rotten?" 

"Exactly. See? At least one of you is learning". The slap in the back that followed didn't help, but only encouraged the idea that this guy was no help at all.

Kagura remembered exactly where she was going, in terms of where Kamui's room was without asking the male nurse sitting in reception. There was that smell again. Hospitals smelled weird. No surprise, everyone knew this. And it was thick; just the thick smell of disinfectant and ammonia. Before stepping into the wards, layed out behind paper-white double doors, the source of the smell seemingly came from a small bottle attached to the wall, for visitors to sterilize their hands. But this wasn't the case; with the source of the smell. This was only one weird smell, layered under many others. Plus, the gel felt weird, stucking between their fingers like toffee or spit. But once that ordeal wad pushed out of the way, they could enter the realm of odd smells and rooms that were ridiculously white, or pale in any other colour. 

"So...Are ya gonna play nice?" Kagura asked, taking her eyes off of the clean tile before her to make sure Okita wasn't going to pull the same aloof face. She heeded him to be serious here. 

"Yeah, I'll play nice. It's no fun provoking a fight out of an invalid, now, is it?" 

"Okay, he's not an invalid, he's just...He's got broken bones, but he's not totally helpless. Be nice. Act...normally". 

"So do you want me to be nice or to act normally? Make up your mind". 

"You know what I mean, ass-hat". 

"Tch, "ass-hat", that's a good one". And then he earned himself a slap across the arm, a harsh one with quite a bit of force to it. "Hey. I'm trying to lighten the mood. You looked pretty tense when I saw you standin' outside the hospital. I'm not good at the whole comforting thing, so might as well do what I do best". 

"Make an ass of yourself?" 

"Along those lines, yes". 

"Tsk...". 

"Ah! There's a smile. Gotcha". 

"Shut up...". 

Her face was still cracked with a smile. Incappable of hiding it behind closed doors, Kagura nudged Okita weakly, pushing him a short distance away before he bounced right back. And, hey, it worked. Making an ass of himself was turning into a day job with this girl, honestly. Although, kind of worth it, to see her smile rather than furrow her brow, yell, make a fuss over the little things Okita did to tease her. If only her brother could see it while the treasured moment was still fresh. They had another floor to traverse, so it was unlikely that they would reminisce about this little moment between them in paradise, or the hospital's funky smelling, blinding hallways. 

Yet another police officer stood outside the door, sipping a paper cup of coffee during his shift. When looking at his position, at first glance, you would assume he was doing it for the purpose of protecting Kamui rather than keeping him from escaping. Did it matter, though? Kagura was allowed in anyway, as Okita was too. The true advantage here was the fact that the police Vice-Chief was dating Kagura's non-biological guardian. She would never get over how amazing that turned out to be, aside from Gintoki's overwhelming happiness-which he greatly deserved.

Kamui hadn't moved. Or, it just looked that way since he was pretty much bedridden-unless he was going through physiotherapy already for his shoulder and ribs. Walking around was important. That's what the nurse had said, but so soon? He lay in bed, and had been staring out of the window before Kagura made her entrance into the room. Upon first glance, Kagura immediatly caught on to the fact that his hair was down; an image she had never seen before. The bruises on his face had faded a little, turning into a more brown-ish colour. He turned his head as soon as Kagura walked in, giving off that weird, cynical smile again. 

"Ah, sis', you're back". 

"Told ya I would be. I, er, brought over some cookies that we made in Home Ec. today. They should be fine since the teacher tried one herself". 

"Oh, I see. And you also brought a guest...". 

Okita stood behind Kagura-towered over her, keeping a close eye on Kamui, but was more prepared to back off now that his presence was acknowledged. His relationship to Kagura, however, had not. 

"China Girl, I'm gonna go get some tea. It's cold in here, so...Yeah...". 

"Wha-...Why does everyone leave me alone with Kamui?!" 

"Get all that bonding out of the way. Don't let me get in your way, just go for it. I'll be back as soon as possible. How long does it take to get a couple drinks, honestly?" 

And off he went, leaving Kagura alone, to sigh in this awkward space of a room where the walls were as dull as math class that day. With her foot sliding back, Kagura shut the door behind her and walked in anxiously. Yes, it was still there; the anxiety and the fear of her own words. She sat down on the comfty armchair, pulling out the wrapped up cloth of caramel cookies from her bookbag. 

"Here. You can have one now. Are...Are you gonna have one now?" 

"Does a bear shit in the woods?" 

"...". How shocking. The biggest glutton in their family eanted a cookie posthaste, and hold the side of cream. "So...How're you feeling?" 

"Better...". He answered briefly, vaguely, as he was busy untying a knot with one hand. The bento from the previous day was easy, and this was not. Kagura got uo from her seat to untie the knot, give him a little push. "I could've done that". 

"No, you couldn't. So, you're feeling better? That's good. Um...I read, last night, on the internet, that they can put you through physiotherapy with your shoulder and ribs. Have they done that?" 

"Yeah, something like that. It's mostly rolling my shoulder to loosen it up and walking around the room to help build strength in my ribs--breathing excersises, too".

"Oh...". 

The talking, the refreshing words shared between brother and sister...Amazing. Really, it was. Felt like nothing had changed over the past three years, before everything went to shit. He was warming up. Big Brother was finally turning around and warming up to his little sister's kindness. 

"Uh, Kamui, want me to...Put up your hair? I'm good at making braids, so it's no trouble". 

"What? No, I can manage". 

And he was shying away again...Great. 

"If you can barely untie a knot, there's no way you can put up a braid. No way. Lemme do it, and it'll take two minutes".

Kamui was like a big, stubborn brick wall, only denser. But, despite how big and intimidating he may have looked, Kagura, his kid sister, knew how brittle the foundation really was, and how easily it could crumble in reality. Maybe not in front of the police or other gangs, but before family he would figuratively and literally give in. She had no doubt about that. The sigh he let out was enough to confirm her suspicions. 

"Fine...Go-...Go ahead".

Enthusiastic, like this was a life-long dream of hers, Kagura stood to her feet and snatched up the two, loose hair ties sitting together on the bedside table. Kamui sat up, adjusted his position so that Kagura could sit behind him on the bed and work her magic. She was kneeling as comfortably as she could manage, sinking a little into a maroon, foam matress as her knees dug in. The ties were slipped on her wrist, like a braclet, leaving her empty hands to wrap his hair around into a braid. From the distance-the extremely short distance-she sat at, the smell of shampoo broke through from slight humidity surrounding Kamui. When threading her fingers through long, vermillion strands, they were obviously damp. He was able to do more than walk around, it seemed. 

"You were able to take a shower?" 

"Yeah...Sitting down. It hurts to stand for too long, so they provide a chair in the bathroom". 

"A chair? That sounds comftier than a wooden stool. I want one...It'll be like a gaming chair, except for the shower, aru". 

"Tch, how lazy are you?" 

"I get it from Gin-chan, aru". 

"Still adding "aru" to the end of your sentences? Is that supposed to be a part of your "accent", sis'?" 

"It's my character! Mind your own bees-wax".

His hair was parted and kept seperate until Kagura could start evenly twisting them together to make this braid. Been a while since she had ever tied someone's hair-even with friends who would use straightners or curling irons before school. So this task would require Kagura to rely on memory from when she was a child, twisting her mother's hair into a lovely braid when she was too weak to do it alone. The memory was painfuk, obvious. And Kagura wasn't sure if telepathy was naturally shared between siblings at the most appropriate moments, but the memories got to Kamui too. 

"You really are like her. If you were older and a lot less dorkish then it'd be uncanny, for sure". 

"Hmph! Well you're like the old man. If you were old and bald, it'd be uncanny". 

"Shut it, dork. You know that I look more like Mom than that old-...". 

Kamui wasn't thinking about it; his words; where he was going with his retort. And he, incidentally, landed smack down on the word "Mom", something he refused to say for years after she passed away. The reason never reached Kagura's ears, but in her heart she knew her big, crybaby brother better than he knew himself. She didn't say it, though. She didn't say it out loud, afraid that she'd screw up their bonding moment by being direct. After a moment's pause, her fingers went back to work on twisting vermillion sausages of hair neatly together. 

"...". 

"Aren't you gonna say it?" To her surprise, however... 

"Say what?" Kamui was expecting Kagura to talk back. 

"You know...About how I called her Mom". 

"No...No, I won't say anything. It's not a big deal, she's our-...I don't get what you're so afraid of by acknowledging her as our Mom. It's not-...Screw it. It's not your fault that-". 

"No, it's his fault". 

"How is it Papi's fault? Sure he wasn't around a lot, but there wasn't much he could do". 

"He could have been a husband to her! And a father to us...It's because he left so many times that she-...It's his fault that she...". 

This was the first time they had ever discussed this, and it was only, what, the third day? Perhaps the discussion was going too far, they were stepping into a sinkhole with no way out. They were both too anxious to see what was on the other side of it. So to sort of put an end to it, with empathy and compassion in mind and in heart, Kagura let the ponytail she had currentky tied up fall against his back as her arms wrapped around her brother, her forehead resting on his back. Through the thin, white shirt, provided by the hospital, she could see the bruises and scars left behind from his attack (or perhaps some of them were not so recent). Hugging him, she muttered... 

"It's no one's fault that Mami passed away, Kamui. It's no one's fault...".

"You still don't get it...But maybe if I hadn't left so much either...I can't take that back. What's done is done. Since I'm now going to prison it's not like we can make up for much time". 

"...That isn't true". 

"...?" 

Kagura held back from hugging any tighter, as Kamui's ribs and lungs were at risk here. However, she made up for it, trying to get through to her big brother with words. 

"You'll be here for six weeks. Sure, it's not the same as three years, but...I'll visit every single day. I'll come by during the winter break, I'll brush up on baking and stuff-and I'll show you I can get better, aru. I'll come by at Christmas and New Year's...And when I know what-...When I kn-know what prison you'll be staying at, I'll do my best to come visit as much as I can, okay?" 

"...". 

No one could see, but anyone--anyone--could tell that she was trying to hold back tears. Her small voice was raspy, her hands shaking. The thought of meeting Kamui behind a glass wall and a phone, it must have at least scared her. But through all of that she held on and showed what a big girl she had become since years ago; back when she was the little crybaby who watched her fifteen-year-old brother get pulled in to the back of a police car with a smile on his face, under a cloudy, miserable sky with the smell of sweat and blood still in the air. This wasn't going to be the same, was it? This time, she held it in and acted bravely in front of him. 

"It's your own fault, anyway; why you're going to prison".

"Hm, not denying that, sis'. I did join a gang, I knew what I was getting into...But so was Papi". 

"...? Wh-...Papi?" The confusion was natural as Kamui was playing the vague game with a smile, knowing exactly what he was talking about while Kagura didn't have a clue. "What about the baldy?" 

"He joined Housen's gang too, back in Kyoto. He didn't commit crimes though, except he beat the shit out of him in a brawl". 

"Wh-...Why would Papi...?" Why would he join Housen? 

"I dunno either, but ask him yourself the next time he sends one of his long distance letters".

Kamui knew, but at the same time he didn't know the whole story. What a dickish move to leave Kagura on the edge of her seat with no release to her curiosity and anxiety. The questions played on in her head like a broken record, the echo getting more and more dense every time it looped around, throbbing against her temples. She wasn't exactly stressed or frustrated eith that news...Just curious. 

At the right moment, at that exact moment-like any other would suffice for dramatic suspense-the room's door creaked open. Alerting Kagura, she swiftly proceeded to tie up Kamui's hair in a braid, paying no mind to the person (no question who it was) entering the room with two paper cups of two different hot beverages in each hand. The cop outside must have opened the door for him. 

"Yo, China Girl, I got a hot chocolate for you. A lady at the cafeteria was nice enough to give you mini marshmellows that they usually add to the patient's ice cream. So be grateful". 

"Shut it, sadist. Now hand it over-ah...Once I finish tying this up". 

"Oh, what, you ladies playing dress-up?" Setting down the cups, passing a snarky comment, Okita parked his ass on the comfty chair that Kagura had kind of claimed earlier. He took his tea once seated, blowing the rising steam away softly before taking a well-deserved sip (well-deserved, in his perspective). 

"I'm tying up his hair, big deal. I'm all done anyway. You can...". Kagura paused, struggling a little to get off the bed without kicking her brother in the back. "...lie down again". 

She stood, but suddenly found herseof in the awkward position of "where do I sit?" Not tue first time she was in this situation; like when you're late for the school entrance ceremony and you have no idea where to sit because the place is so full. In terms of western schools, when you're late on the first day of class and you have free reign on where to sit, you have absolutely no idea where to sit because all the other desk chairs are taken. And you don't want to keep standing because, for some reason, everyone is staring at you like you're wandering around with a "look at me" sign taped to your face and a bell around your neck. In this case, Kagura had very little choice in the matter of seating, since Okita stole hers. 

Very little thought, but many questions, went into the next action pulled by the one and only Sougo Okita, the "Prince of Sadism". Out of nowhere, much to Kagura's shock and even dismay, he got up from the armchair with a start, sending a jolt of shudders through Kagura's body as her eyes pierced into his from two totally different heights. Cautious and embarrassed, she stepped back a little. 

"Th-the hell are you doing?! I'll sit on the bed, it's fine". 

"No, no, take the armchair, China Girl and I'll sit...on the arm of it". 

"Wh-...Sit down, moron. I'll sit on the edge of the bed, and that's final". 

Kagura did that swiftly, the matress bouncing beneath her from the sudden impact. Okita sat too, feeling a tad awkward in front of both Kagura and her big brother, who had been watching rather intently. Kagura took her hot chocolate from Okita, her hands shaking from the previous awkward moment. She blew away the tiny swirls of steam, and sipped. To be honest, it wasn't the best hot chocolate; having been stored in a machine for an unknown length of time, but it was the best she had to fight off the cold. Silence. Awkward, immediate, unbearable, silence cut through the atmosphere that Kagura shared with her brother mere seconds ago while she was tying up his hair, learning that her father was a part of the Yato gang. Okita's presence made things seem difficult in terms of bringing up conversation or even eye-contact. 

"So...". Kamui smiled his cynical smile, directly at Okita. "What exactly is your relationship with my little sister?" 

The first reaction to come out of anyone in the room was Kagura's spit reflexes. The shock burst hot chocolate from her mouth like it was a damn on the brink of collapse. And, well, it collapsed pretty easily. Didn't take much to do so. 

"Wha-...Wha-...?! Are you nuts?!" Her voice was small and hoarse. Any attempts in resisting to cough and get out the pain of choking on a hot beverage were a failure; Kagura's eyes watering, her lungs squeezing out every cough for relief. 

"What? I had to ask, seeing as you two are quite shy around eachother".

"Not that it's any of your business, but the China Girl and I are just...We're friends, okay?" 

That wasn't exactly true, as they had established once before as a way to protect eachother's pride, but anything to keep out the watchful eyes of a big brother that may have been like any other older sibling when it comes to the youngest and their opposite sex friends. What made things worse was the fact that Okita was of college age, and that he had that littoe awkward, shy moment with Kagura...Or a few, in recent days.

"Ah, friends. Okay...Good. I don't know how I'd feel if you and my sister were-". 

"If we were what? Best friends?" 

The wit and sarcasm didn't bode well; that was shown in forced smirks and tone. Why were they discussing this anyway? Especially as if Kagura wasn't in the room. Since when Kamui act so protective? He wasn't being too direct about it-but this was a protective brother, if she ever saw one. And what was with Okita? Why was he being so...defensive? He emphasised the word "friends", as Kagura had noticed and was leaning on the edge of the seat at Kamui's protectiveness. Maybe he was trying to be clear that Kagura was a friend and nothing more. Or perhaps Okita was enjoying his attitude and reactions. Whatever it was, Kagura did not want to hear it-from either of them. 

"Will you two quit it? Kamui, the sadist his...an acquaintance, alright? No need to get all protective". 

"Huh? I wasn't being protective. Isn't that the old man's job?" 

"You're turning into the old man if you keep implying that this guy is my-...My-...Anyway! He isn't! He's a friend! End of story!"

The embarrassment wasn't evident through a blush or stuttering, but her sulking face and eyes that looked off into the corner of the room. Probably unable to bring herseof to look either of them in the eye after bringing up something weird, unecessary and awkward. Sure, Okita was a man, but it meant nothing. After all, Kagura was still in middle school. And, of course, comparing their ages and positions in education, it would look and feel wrong to assume that they were anything more than friends. "Rivals" was the correct term, but in this case they were going to have to stick with "friends". 

The silence returned, making the situation feel heavier with discomfort. But only seconds after the silence broke out did Kagura shift her gave from the corner. Out of all the spots within the room that she could focus on, instinct led her to meeting Okita's gaze on accident. Must have been nice, hearing Kagura call him a friend even if it was a quick and painful way to save their asses from incorrect assumptions about their oh so confusing relationship. Either they hated eachother or found eachother so endearing with their hijinks and usual antics. Who could tell? Kamui sure couldn't in the five minutes in which they spoke right now and way back when, several months ago in front of a convenience store. Without really realising it himself, he didn't know how to feel about this...At the back of his mind, right there in the shadows of his deepest thoughts, there lay a big brother wanting to watch outmfor his little sister. 

"...So, you're just good friends?" If only he didn't bring out his fathers side while unconsciously trying to convey that. 

"Shut it, Kamui!" 

"Oh, yeah, good friends...". And if only Okita didn't add to it... 

"You shut up too, sadist! You're gonna make it worse!" 

Then maybe they could stick to the silence until visiting hours were over... 

... 

Kagura ended up storming on ahead when they decided to leave Kamui be for the evening so that the nurses could do their job and serve dinner at the appropriate time. The irritation was lingering on her face. And it was horribly amusing that Okita would have played the prick, pulled out his cell phone and snapped a picture of her flustered face and rosy cheeks. Quite the idea, but the wise thing to do right now was to keep his mouth shut and allow her to simmer down before her flush got any redder. 

"Dumb big brother, actin' like the baldy...Since when was he so protective?"

Clearly never, until Okita walked into the room, merely giving the China Girl hot chocolate and a smile. Real suspicious... 

"China girl, I don't know a lot about your family, but...Doesn't it seem like he actually cares?" 

With the way Kamui reacted towards Okita, Kagura couldn't really see it. In addition there was his recent personality problems, so the term "he actually cares" hadn't bothered to cross her mind. Any action or words that made it look like he cared must have--they must have--been a red herring at this point. But Okita was sharp in both mind and in his eyes. Having experience with an older, potentially protective, older sibling he was confident when it came to knowing if they cared or not. His sister was one of the kind, gentle ones, while spoiling and protecting him for most of his life until this point. And what a kid he turned out to be. 

"You think?" 

"If he took one look at me, with you, and didn't act the least bit suspicious or protective then he wouldn't be a big brother, would he? Doesn't matter what kinda show he puts on to his crew or to the cops, he's still your idiot big brother and, trust me, he cares. I'm sure he does". 

"...". 

"China Girl?" 

"Huh? Nuh-nothing...Only...I was thinking: maybe he hasn't changed that much after all". 

"Hm...I see...". 

A vague way of putting it, but Okita understood perfectly. Big Brother Kamui is still a big brother in the end. 

"...Thanks, Sa-...Okita...". 

"What for?" 

"For coming along. Even if Kamui did act like the stupid baldy in front of you, I'm...I'm kinda glad you came with me". 

Okita smirked, feeling more accomplished every time he hung out with this girl. Didn't seem like they were in a rivalry now. Embarrassed by her very own words, Kagura ruffled through her hair, easily messing it up. 

"Agh! Gin-chan and that stupid Mayora are too influentual on me! Their lovey-dovey relationship is making me act nice towards you!" 

"You sure you're not just...starting to like me, eh, China Girl?" 

"Don't jump to conclusions! And wipe that smirk off your face, aru!" 

Oh no, he couldn't possibly. He'd like to blame it on the influence of a couple of fruitcakes too, but he couldn't. Kagura was too precious and amusing for him to blame his smirk and enjoyment solely on Boss and the mayonnaise addict. Now would be a perfect time to take that picture and accept whatever unholy wrath that the China Gitl would inevitably bring down on him, with her fists and curses. 

"So...Uh...You want me to come with you next time too?" 

"Hah...?" Kagura was confused, but somewhere she must have had a hunch he would ask. No? 

"To visit your brother, I mean. Want me to come with you again? I know it'd piss him off, and...I dunno, in case you need the company". 

"...Why would you do that for me?" 

"Okita shrugged yet... "Cause I want to". He smiled too, giving Kagura the same kind, foreign look again that he passed on in the hospital. And once more Kagura found it hard to understand him, maybe more than ever. So many questions would be left with vague answers that would only raise more questions. 

When patting and stroking her hair, Kagura turned her eyes away, wanting to blame the red stains on her cheeks on the cold weather. "If he wanted to" then sure he could come. But he'd need to drop that nice attitude before Kagura changed her own attitude. 

"Okay...S-sure, if you want. Thanks...". 

"Anytime, China Girl. Anytime...". 

... 

... 

Without much to say, when she came home, Kagura headed straight upstairs using only one word mutterings to reassure Gintoki that she was still fully conscious. With the way she was suddenly acting he was afraid that something may have happened during her visit, but she appeared...happy. Strangely happy, while lacking the required facial expression to appear so. In her dash to go upstairs to her room, it was as if she was hiding something, mainly a flushed face and aura of glee that was visible in all girls when something good happened to them. They weren't very good at hiding it; not that that was necessarily a bad thing. Never really was. As far as Gintoki knew she had only gone to see Kamui at the hospital after school, so what got her so happy? Maybe he finally opened his eyes and treated her like a sister? Although it couldn't have been that easy, could it?

Out of sight and out of mind, as they say. Gintoki didn't put much thought into her behaviour, shaking his head, focusing on the T.V as he took some time for himself to sit back and relax with a beer on the coffee table and at least two pillows behind his back. As soon as Kagura had come in, there wasn't a lot of time to take it easy before bed; not a lot of alone time. The front door opened again and, naturally, his head spun around to see Hijikata return from work. His keys rattled together as he tossed them onto the end table by the door, taking off his coat, wanting only Gintoki's company for the rest of the night. He often gave off that aura after work, or Gintoki was giving himseof a pat on the back for dating this man and giving him the happiness he needed and deserved. Yeah, this was a big pat on the back. 

"Look who's home. How was it? I mean, how're those injured cops doing?" Quickly, Gintoki muted the television's volume to listen. He was genuinally interested, waiting fkr Hinikata to sit his ass down and talk all about it. 

"They're fine. They've been given paid leave for a few weeks, but they'll be fine". Without being offered, without even thinking about it, Hijikata came over and sat his ass down on that sofa with a big, relieved sigh. Gintoki moved in a little closer, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. 

At this point, without their knowledge, Kagura's bedroom door opened quietly. She wanted to take a bath and clear her head, so out she crept with a towel and set of pajamas over one arm. Stepping out into the hallway upstairs, she could hear the conversation, but didn't establish her presence. 

"You look exhausted...". She heard Gintoki mutter, but couldn't see his gentle side, how he petted Hijikata's hair and rested his chin on his broad shoulder with kisses and affection, maybe a backrub later. She didn't know. She was only listening, shuffling steadily towards the stairs as the conversation went on and her curiosity peaked. 

"Hah, no shit...Ah, sorry. Yeah, I'm tired. I spent quite a bit of time interogating the bastard we managed to apprehend, thanks to Saito. And, well...We've got nothing". 

"What do you mean?" 

"No info on Kamui's hide-out or other Yato members...Nothing. And it worries me. I don't want another incident to happen again, not-...Those men are like family to me. Hearing that they were almost killed out there, I...". 

"Hey, hey, it's okay. It's okay...They're fine, right?" 

"Yeah...Yeah, I know. But I don't want anything like this to happen again. Seems like Kamui's gang don't need leashes when wandering around, shitting wherever they see fit. What if-...What if a cop is killed next time? The longer we don't know their whereabouts, the closer we get to having another cop stabbed on the street. I'll do what I can, but...I'm not sure when we'll get results". 

Gintoki couldn't say much in terms of comfort. The most he could do was hug Hijikata and tell him that he would eventually get there. He even said himself that they were close to solving this gang problem. 

Kagura had lingered in the upstairs hallway, not moving an inch since she started listening in. Kamui's gang...Those cops...No knowledge of their whereabouts. The giddy feeling had long faded, and instead Kagura held wonder in her head, the sense that she could do something. That gang...Housen was Kamui's infkuence into joining a gang. They were dangerous, and because of that Kamui became dangerous. And she couldn't stand it. Now, without him, they were attacking cops on the street? It couldn't happen. It had to-...It had to somehow stop, and so far Hijikata didn't have much to go on in terms of finding them. Thinking back, Kagura had an idea in her head. She wasn't sure if it would work, but knowing what she knew now, having some information, she had an idea stuck in her head that wouldn't go away from her conscience unless she executed it. And, for a moment, she apologised to Kamui in advance and in her head. 

Heading straight back to her room, Kagura knew exactly what she was looking for. Although, long ago, she buried it somewhere within drawers of her desk or a plastic box stored within her closet. She went for the drawers first, sliding each one out, rifling through several folded notes and letters until, at the very bottom of the very bottom drawer, she found exactly what she was looking for: a phone number. 

It was never in her best interest to make this call, but right now it was all she had. In her head, she figured that this was the start of something; a fresh page for Kamui whether he liked it or not. Parking herseof on her floor, right in front of her desk, Kagura took out her cellphone, brought it out of sleep-mode and started dialing from a crumbled up note. Her hands were shaking and her mind was coursing with different, debating thoughts. But by doing this she was killing two birds with one stone, and be thanked for it...But alos hated. Putting the phone's receiver to her ear, she listened to the numb humming of the phone, taking a deep breath as she waited. She wasn't used to dialing in extra numbers, so this had better be worth it. Then...The humming went silent, and a voice came through. 

["Hello...?"] 

The voice brought a lump up to her throat, and she wasn't sure how to even speak. Gulping down her fears and the thought of the consequences she might face doing this, even the smallest ones, she had to speak. She had to say something, do something. And after a single pause...She did, and held her regrets down at the very put of her stomach. 

"...P-Papi...I-...I think you should come home now...".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First part of the chapter. This wasn't supposed to be a two-part chapter, but needs be since I haven't uploaded in nearly a month and I didn't want this to be too, too long. 
> 
> I tried my best with this, I really did. This wasn't the easiest chapter for me to write, hence why it's taken so long to upload. I'm sorry if it's not the best chapter, but I wanted to attempt some more character development for Kamui and Kagura so that stuff wasn't left in the dark. I want to conclude that stuff somehow, and hopefully the next part will be out much earlier. I've been busy in my personal life. Nothing too stressful but, I've just been very busy with other things. So, I'm very sorry about the wait...and this chapter.
> 
> If you aren't bothered by this chapter, I appreciate it. If you do see any reasonable flaws with the story, characters or anything else then you're free to tell me and, if I think it is reasonable, then I'll try to fix it. Someone wrote a comment about how they didn't like the sound descriptions in the sex scenes. Fair enough. I plan to get rid of those because they said they couldn't take it seriously and that it's a bit cringey. But I won't have someone tell me that the story is stupid without any reasonable explanation.
> 
> I'll say a thank you again to the readers who actually enjoy the story and have been very supportive. You're fantastic people, and this has been the most support I've gotten for writing a fanfiction. It's greatly appreciated when someone says I'm doing a good job on the story. Next chapter, I'll finish the Kamui, Kagura stuff and move on to more HijiGin. Thanks for reading, everyone :)
> 
> Also, there'll be some story and OkiKagu stuff next chapter. Anyone interested in that?


	33. Siblings are Generally Supposed to Look Out for Eachother (Part 2)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Firstly, I'm back, hello. Good to be writing again when I'm not too busy and I upload a month later. Sorry...
> 
> Second of all, I'd like to give a shoutout to SilentOrange who is currently writing a really awesome Gintama AU called Find Your Way. It's really good so far, so if anyone wants to check that out and give them support...Please do :) I've spoken to them and had a lot of good conversations. And from what I've read they're a fantastic writer (way better than I am), somit'd be good to give it a chance. I'm not buttering you up, SilentOrange. I'm being serious :) 
> 
> Don't know if I'm that influencial, but it would be nice to see them some support. KingKagura too. They're writing a good fanfic' called The Daily Life of Odd Home Mates. Both are GinHiji, so...I could give shoutouts to a few other writers, but this is all for now. The reason I'm giving shoutouts to them is because (I like their stories, of course, first of all and) these are the only two fanfictions that I've got a chance to read recently since I've been busy writing this. There are some fic's that I do want to check out, though. Anyway!
> 
> Back to the sibling, OkiKagu, Baldy returns stuff. I'm gonna finish this chapter and move on to some sweet, sweet HijiGin. So...Here goes. Enjoy ♡ (If you don't like this chapter, that's fine. Just know that I tried my best).

Eight Years Ago...

The sudden shower, rainging down from dim clouds, was expected. After all this was the season for it. But the past few days were miserable. So, so...miserable, yet Kamui had listened to his mother and kid sister talk about how much they enjoyed the rain. Even from a single bed, stuck in a room littered with books and plain painted walls, Kouka admired the storm and appreciated the show as it went on throughout the day with a smile on her face. Still, her heart was heavy on this day. This was grocery day; when sales abd bargains were open to the public of Kyoto who were struggling so much that they couldn't make themselves avoid sales of reduced products. 

Sitting on a hardwood step, listening to the beating of the rain on their front door, Kamui tied his shoes from memory, going over each knot and loop like his father had shown him when he was at least four years old. Pulling at the loops, his shoes were tied neatly, and he was ready with the exception of his umbrella in hand. As he reached out to pick it up, his brain quickly registered the "munchkin" who was also sitting on the step, trying to tie her laces, but failed horrible as they fell apart. She wasn't giving uo though. If it was one thing that his kid sister did, she never gave up and held out puffed out cheeks, if not a naive little smile. Kamui sighed. 

"Are ya still tying those? You're such a slowpoke". 

"Papi said he'd teach me, but he's not here so I'm doing it myself. I can do it, all by myself. Just watch". 

"I haven't got time to watch you completely fail at tying laces. Tsk, here, I'll show you". 

With a click of his tongue, Kamui kneeled down in front of his sister, pushing her tiny hands out of the way so there was room for him to work on those bothersome laces. First he went through the trouble of untangling them, picking at the knots before they came loose. He held out both laces, making sure that Kagura was paying attention. 

"Okay, now, first, you make a knot. You see that?" 

"Uhn-huh...". 

"Just...wrap 'em around eachother like this and...loop it, and pull". He did just that, looking up to see Kagura nodding, understanding perfectly. "Then you make an oval, or loop, with one lace and ya tie the other one around it. See? You make two loops like this...and you pull. Got it?" 

"I think so". 

"Then you can try it with the other shoe. C'mon, lemme see". 

Confidentally, Kagura grabbed both laces of her other shoe, with Kamui untangling the mess she made before letting her have a shot. 

"Um...So, make a knot...". She did just that, as she had witnessed Kamui do, then pulled to tie the laces together. "Then I make a loop...tie the other one around...". 

"Thread it through...". 

"Thread it through and...pull...Aha...". Kagura smiled happily at her triumph, feeling more accomplished than she should have. Dunno, maybe tying shoe laces to six-year-olds was like winning and Olympic gold medal or Nobel Prize to adults who work hard for them. "I did it!" 

"Yeah, you did, sis'. Good job". 

"Thanks, Big Bro!" Kagura jumped to her feet, hugging and squeezing the life out of Kamui immediatly in appreciation of something so small and insignificant, like tying shoe laces. She mostly did it herself, anyway. 

"Woah, okay. Easy there, sis'. Oi, c'mon, we've gotta help Mom eity groceries. You got the list?" 

"Right, er...". Kagura needed only but a moment to dig through her coat pockets to find a crumpled up list of sale items that Kouka made herself, though fragile and shaky. "Right here!" The handwriting was messy, not beautiful as it always was. Kamui held back a pained grimace from seeing his mother's handwriting in a state as frail as she was. He smiled, getting uo from his kneeling position to ruffle his little sister's hair. 

"Atra girl. Alright, then, let's go. And stay close to me okay? Mom would be sad if you ran off...And I would too". 

"So hold my hand. That way neither of us can get lost, right?" 

"...Right. Okay, let's go. Keep that list safe in your pocket, and don't take it out until we get to the store". 

"I know, I know. I'm not stupid, Big Bro". 

"No, you're not stupid. Just a little idiot". 

"Isn't that what Papi calls you?" 

"Er, sometimes. Here, take my hand".

Grabbing the big umbrella in one hand, Kamui held Kagura's hand in other, using her assistance to open the umbrella up once they got outside. When opening the door, they were faced with the storm as it poured and poured, seemingly without end. Kamui squeezed his sister's hand, barely paying any mind to the handle of their umbrella. Smiling, reassuring her, Kamui stepped out first before Kagura, holding up the umbrella to keep them both sheltered. She swiftly followed, refusing to let go of him until they were carrying bags on the way home. It wasn't an impossible journey, and Kamui felt better if he went alone. Kagura was persistent, refusing to stay home when Kamui needed help. These situations were never easy, especially when each of them had a guilty conscience. Without their father around, Kamui played the man of the house until he came back. And each day that their father was gone, Kamui became all the more fearless. 

... 

Present Day... 

The stinging sensation had to come back around his eyes the moment he was awake, as did the reality of his position; of Kamui's position; trapped like a rat in a plastic box with holes punched in at the top, his room and his one and only window that lay above a long, long drop to flat concrete and a parking lot. His stinging, tired, pink-rimmed eyes met with a plain ceiling, painted with swirls that left him feeling bored during the day. The worst of it all was his arm. Even when comparing his situation to the pain, the pain was much worse. Kamui groaned and panted, tossing his head back into his pillow, wanting so desperately to pull the trigger on the morphine. Yes, he was given privelages over morphine. The damage was done and it was that bad.

But the morphine made him nauseous. It turned his stomach inside out and provoked nothing but bile up his throat. There was a threshold to pain, and he refused to believe that he would ever reach it. Hah, stubborn...Just like Daddy. The trigger was left beside his good arm, neglected. Painkillers...Painkillers would have to do. It was still evening though, the snow falling from a darkened, sull sky with no stars or end. It was a distraction from the pain, and he took it into his mind and focused on it. He was even brought back to when everything seemed...fine. Not perfect or incredibly happy, but fine. And in some twist of perspective, Kamui returned to the shoe lace lesson over and over, replaying it in his head like the moments before and exam...Not that he had the chance to take many. Memories of...that place were all he had to pass the time, as much as he didn't want to talk about them out loud. 

Make a knot, make a loop, tie around the loop, thread throuh, and pull... 

Over and over he thought, and he remembered. And slowly Kagura's naive face and nodding came back up. She used to be so small... 

Make the knot, make the loop, tie around, thread, pull... 

His cheeks grew hot from irritation, and the pain--can never forget the pain, not in this place where nothing echoes. 

Knot, loop, thread around, pull. 

The distractions he conjured up were sticking to the inside of his brain like a tumble weed of sticky tape and glue, and it seemed like there was no way to untangle it, like the laces that were tied around his memory. Shit, this was getting repetitive...And annoying. Some things were best left at the very corners of the mind, where nobody looked. Everything there was only worth forgetting. 

Loop, thread, knot and-...Stop. Stop it. Stop it now! 

He had closed his eyes, pressing his hand against his eyelids, trying to block out the noise. He didn't want to think about it anymore. He didn't want to remember. He didn't want to feel...guilty, for leaving all of those memories behind. So he stopped. And, instead, this time, he focused solely on getting through the pain that coursed through the rest of his body... 

... 

... 

Some thoughts were better left in isolation, when no one else was around and you could think about whatever without appearing rude to the people mumbling your name into deaf ears, but only for a moment. In this case, Kagura had a lot on her mind and the list would never end until the reality fell into place and whatever happened, happened. But her tardiness in catching up with reality, before her thoughts and concerns, led to Okita calling out her name several times, eventually resorting to grabbing her arm right before she crossed a road when cars were strolling by down the narrow lane. She stopped at that, as did the list of thoughts, and things snapped back with her almost immediatly.

Her eyes turned upward, and her head cocked to the side, where Okita was standing, still grabbing her arm, still waiting for the little China Girl to come back to earth and respond. 

"Yo, China Girl, you alive in there? I'm speaking to you. Hello?" He waved his hand unironically in front of her face, expecting her to wake up from her daydream. She did, slapping his hand away, with an unecessary level of aggression, from her arm with an irritated expression that did not belong on her face, not under these circumstances. 

"Wh-what? What is it?" 

"Haa...I was just saying, you glad that I came along? You seemed pretty okay with it yesterday, but seeing you space out and then give me that kinda expression...". 

"Wha-...I, I wouldn't say "glad", I'm...I'm okay with it, since you asked me if you could come along. I have no problem with it, unless you start crap with my brother". 

"I won't. Promise". 

Was the sadist one to keep a promise? No, not usually. But she held him to his sincerity, and if he did, by chance, decide to start any riots he would face the consequences of an annoyed littose sister who hated being accused of having a good-for-nothing sadist as her boyfriend. Made her sound like one of the sluts who attended her school, but in a different class far from hers so they could brag about their boyfriends elsewhere. Although due to recent circumstances, a friend was turning into just that. 

"So...Do you...Do you know what to say to him or do you make it up as you go along?" 

"Sorry...?" Being in her own little world again, Kagura almost didn't hear him but decided to make him go back a step in case she misheard. And everyone knows how much of a pain in the ass it is to repeat a sentence to someone who can't be bothered to listen. Okita sighed, repeated himself and moved on. 

"I was wondering what you're gonna say to him. Can't be much to talk about without bringing up some sort of family drama, huh?" 

"Mm...I'll think of something. I made more food, so that'll be a start".

"You could easily buy snacks from the vending machines". 

"But it's much more meaningful this way. Gin-chan always says that people know when you've put your heart and soul into something, so don't half-ass the job...Or something like that. He says a lot of wise things, I can't always keep track. I think he's been slacking off, though, 'cause of the Mayora". 

"I haven't noticed". 

"He isn't as lazy either! And his dead eyes look more lively! Anymore and he'll look like a freakin' bishounen boy from another goddamn high school anime, except gay for a Mayo-addicted bishounen!" 

An unattractive image of Hijikata eating a whole bowl of only mayonnaise popped up into Kagura's semi-innocent mind. He had a background of pink flowers and sparkly eyes, so the image was odd and almost creepy. 

("I look forward to working with you...Student Council President-san") 

A ripple of thick shudders ran through Kagura's back and neck, and she grimaced with the traumatising image stuck in the foreground of her brain, refusing to get out; like when you see the image of a deadly species of spider up close for the first time. It creeps you out, the image follows you into your dreams, and your left with sleep deprivation for about a week. Watch anime. Watch a lot of anime and the nightmares will go away! In this case: No. Avoid anime, especially the bishounens. Avoid them at all costs before they start slurping mayo or something! 

"Woah, China Girl, you're spacing out again. Come back. Come back, China Girl". Okita had the job of bringing her back to earth whenever her mind wandered, like now. He could only imagine what was going through her mind if, at all, she was worrying abo7t her brother. But, no, in her mind, there were only weird, creepy bishounens. 

Snapping his fingers several times in front of Kagura's face proved helpful; her eyes opened up wide and her body straightened out to an almost fetal position during her fit of, what Okita could only name as, cringe. What the hell was she thinking about to grimace in such a displeased and disgusted fashion? Y'know what, he didn't want to know. So, he never asked.

"Uh-what? Quit that already!" Annoyed, Kagura put a fraction of her strength into shoving Okita a short distance away. At least he stopped snapping his fingers. 

"You quit it already!" Being as childish as she was, Okita shoved back. People were walking around them with concerned or scared faces. They resorted to hugging the wall as the two children fought it out. 

"Quit what?!" 

"Spacing out! That way I won't have to keep bringing you back to earth. You retarded or something?" 

"You're retarded!" 

"Now you're just using back-talk!" 

When would it end with these two? Clearly the bond Hijikata and Gintoki shared as a couple wasn't as big an influence as they thought; these brats were still fighting, making scenes, back-talking. Nothing was ever finished with them until someone gave up. Good luck with that, brats. Good luck. 

"Woah, woah, woah! What the hell are you guys doing?! Cut it out!" 

During the rush of anger when they focused only on eachother's irritated expressions did they lose sight of their surroundings. When they were pulled apart, forcefully, by only one person, they were taken aback. And when their eyes shifted and their brains processed the new presence standing before them did the shock run deeper. A familiar face...One they had not seen for quite some time. Yes...Yes... 

"...Spectcales?" Okita questioned, eyebrow cocked; confused. 

"Shinpachi? Where the hell have you been?!" 

Shinpachi, a familiar face that had been gone for...Y'know what, he wasn't relevant the last couple chapters, okay? End of story. 

"What kind of shitty explanation is that?! I've been waiting in the background! Do you know how long it's been since I've made an appearance in this story?!" 

"Mn...Two chapters ago?" 

"Like hell I have!" 

"Spectacles, as I recall, Danna was wearing glasses two chapters ago. Wasn't that you? I thought it was". 

"Shut it, Okita-san! Are you saying I was Gin-san's glasses for a whole chapter?!" 

Okita shrugged. "You seemed pretty relevant then". 

"That's bullcrap! What did I have to be bumped down to a non-sentiant object on Gin-san's face?! Those were a gift from me as well!" 

"Looks like Hijikata-san isn't the only one sitting on Danna's face". 

"That's disgusting! You're disgusting, Okita-san! You should be bumped down from sadist to pervert! See how you like it!" 

Always a joy to have the straight man back, ranting and raving for the sake of "comedy". He was relevant. He didn't know it yet, though. He didn't understamd how important it is to be the straight man of a comedy anime...And a glasses character. 

"Shinpachi, calm down already". Kagura put a firm grip on Shinpachi's shoulders, shaking his body gently, trying to talk the red roses out of his cheeks and the furious vein popping out of his forehead. "Get it out of your system later, okay, aru?" 

"Ah...Sure, Kagura-chan...Sure...". 

"What're you doing here anyway? School's over, you should be at home, aru". 

Shinpachi had calmed his nerves when the jokes ended and the moronic characters acted serious, although Kagura's nose-pickijg habit would throw you off. 

"Sis' asked me to pick up some groceries since our fridge is practically empty and-Uh...Wait, why are you two here? Together?"

Was it meant to be that the two met eyes as soon as Shinpachi raised the question. He sounded almost naive; almost as if the situation was more suspicious than it actually was. The shared glance and Shinpachi himself only made the situatuon all the more questionable. Only seconds before they fought, Okita was walking Kagura down the street, and they were talking like ordinary people. Shinpachi wasn't too far behind, coincidentally, and he saw that...That was suspicious. When they started fighting he knew he could relax, step in and sort out the situation as per usual. Knowing these two, though, it proved difficult to get the image of them walking together, being friendly with eachother, out of his head. 

However, they already had an explanation--and honest one. The problem was that Shinpachi needed to catch up with the story and hopefully believe them instead of coming up with weird ideas. 

"We're gonna go see the China Girl's big brother". Okita replied. No reason to lie here. No reason at all. "He ended uo in hospital a few days ago, so...". 

"W-wait!" Shinpachi stopped him before he said anymore. Shocked, disoriented, in disbelief--emotions that were to be expected from a guy lagging behind on four chapters. "Kamui's in hospital? Wha-...If he's there then...Well, I suppose since Okita-san's involved, the rest of the police force aren't too far behind". 

"Hit the nail on the head, Spectacles. He's on the list for an arrest, once he's pardoned". 

"I see...Uh, Kagura-chan, are you-". 

"Don't ask if I'm alright, Patsuan". Rubbing the back of her neck, pulling a displeased face, Kagura butt in before Shinpachi offered his unecessary condolences for her brother's upcoming arrest. "I'm fine. I think it's for the best that Kamui serves his time...I let the sadist call an ambulance, even when knowing what would happen, aru. So it's fine. I'm...fine". 

No one was going to point out the elephant in the room out loud but it was clear that Kagura wasn't totally "fine" with the situation--her brother's situation to be precise. Although she realised that it was for the best, it didn't change her inner feelings about his detainment, and the imprisonment that would inevitably come to pass in Kamui's life. The only thing was that she was strong enough to not show it. 

"I am sorry about Kamui, but-heh-I'm...I'm kinda relieved, too--about you two, I guess. I mean...If there was anything going on...".

"Like what?" Okita was raising more questions simply out of curiosity whereas Kagura stood by, listening while her head raced on about getting a move on to see the moronic big brother lying in a hospital bed. 

Oddly enough, Shinpachi wanted to try and be brave. Their relationship-Okita and Kagura's that is-was never quite clear, as Gintoki's relationship with Hijikata was never the most vivid until a few months ago when they began to connect and fall deeper for eachother without acknowledging it as what it truely was. These two, and their relationship, was somewhere totally different in terms of "you're either enemies or you're friends". Shinpachi wanted to know, and he wanted to act cool in front of the smooth college boy who was suddenly hanging out with a girl whom he fought with countless times. The idea that he had in his head was unfitting but he lacked a great sense of reality. This was when the otaku came in and the reasonable, sensible straight man shut the fuck up. 

"Okita-san...". Oh god, here he goes... "Whatevers going on, I need you to know something vital". Oh god it's too painful and I'm the one writing this stuff..."Kagura-chan is like a little sister to me. And if you, a college boy, try anything...I will kick your ass".

"...". 

"...". 

Shocking, surprising,and very, very, oddly amusing to both Okita and Kagura alike. After a pause, in order to process those words as Shinpachi pointed his finger directly Okita, sternly warning him to watch his back, Kagura broke into laughter first, clutching her sides as the laughter thumped against her lungs. Then Okita shortly joined her, unable to keep it in himself-and that boy never presented such an outrageous expression of emotion such as laughter; something so normal yet so foreign to him even in the funniest moment. Most of the time he would be grinning sadistically, but Shinpachi was too much for that. Their laughter was apparently unexpected, but poor Shinpachi held himself together, for Kagura's sake. 

"I'm serious! I'll kick your ass if you hurt her in any way!" 

"Haa! Haha! Sh-Shinpachi, sto-...Ahaha!" 

"What?! Kagura-chan, I'm being serious here! I'm trying to protect you!"

Kagura frantically waved her hand to convey her utmost empathy in his efforts as a "big brother" to her, but she couldn't allow the joke to drag out any more than it had to. Shinpachi was only going to embarrass himself further, in Kagura's mind. 

"Shin-...Shinpachi, I'm fine. I mean, what's he gonna do?" 

"Hah, yeah...Don't-...Don't let your imagination get ahead of you, Spectacles. She's a girl, but I prefer women my own age. Besides, I can't stand the stench of sukonbu". 

"Are you saying I stink, you asshole?!"

With a single, subtle insult, her temperment was back up after getting all the laughter out of her system. If there was one thing outside of his sadistic hijinks that Okita was good at it was striking a couple nerves with Kagura, flipping her into a state of irritation or anger. At least they stopped laughing with Shinpachi's frail attempt to act tough. 

"Anyway...". Shinpachi sighed, preparing to walk on and leave these two to their harmless and platonic business. "I have to go. But, remember, Okita-san, don't you dare do anything to hurt Kagura. Because if I don't step in and knock some sense into you, Gin-san will". 

"Sure, sure, Spectacles. See ya". 

"See ya, Shinpachi".

Their eyes followed Shinpachi's back, watching him walk away with a straight posture and an overly-serious demeanor. He tried his best, but he left the two idiots giggling like a couple of children who played a little prank on a grumpy old geezer. They couldn't take Shinpachi seriously when he acted tough. His sister was more intimidating than that, by far. Spectacles was too kind, and that's all it was. 

... 

The hospital waiting lobby, at the very entrance, was quite full. It was confusing, as, right about now, visiting hours were open. Or they should have been. Kagura, being the most eager to see Kamui, sped-walked up to the reception desk, placing her hands on the surface. The nurse behind the desk raised her head, smiling kindly at Kagura to ask how she could help. 

"Um, excuse me, but are visiting hours open yet?" 

"Sorry, not yet. It's a little later today due to maitenance work. We'll let you know when you can go through the wards, like everyone else. Ah, please, take a seat until then". 

Sighing, but still capable of muttering a thank you to the kind nurse, Kagura turned her back and walked towards Okita as he saved two seats in advance. The waiting area wasn't exactly crowded, but could be considered a little overbearing with families, having young children with them who had no respect for anyone else in the room and would run around or fight with their siblings without a second thought. The way Kagura and Kamui were raised...Well, to be honest, they weren't much different at a certain, very young age. 

She watched as those children were pulled apart from eachother by their parents, with the youngest starting up the water-works after being teased so much by the oldest. When she was a kid, things were a lot tamer than that, for sure. When they did fight, it was usually their father who seperated them and told them off...Back when he was around every single day. And now, due to the phone call she made, he was coming right back. 

... 

The Previous Night... 

... 

"P-Papi, I-...I think you should come home now...". 

["Eh? Kagura?! Sweetheart, what's the matter?! What happened?!"] 

When he said hello first, questioning the unknown caller ID over the line, he sounded calm and professional. As soon as he knew it was Kagura calling his parental instincts kicked in like a big boot up the ass. 

"Papi, calm down. Look, I...I need you to come back to Tokyo-just for a little while. I need hour help with something". 

["What is it, honey? Tell me. Is it Kamui? Did that bastard son of mine hurt you in anyway? Is it a different boy?!"] 

"Will you shut up for two minutes and let me explain, you stupid baldly?!" 

["Sorry, dear, go on"]. 

"Haa...Kamui...Kamui's in hospital right now. He was beaten up pretty badly, so I had to call an ambulance and, well, the police are gonna arrest him as soon as he gets out". 

["Really...?!"] He was ecstatic. Absolutely ecstatic about the news of his son's detainment, but for good reason, not to be a bad father or a dick. ["Hah! Serves him right! I told him that Housen's gant was dangerous! I told him to stay out of it-and now he's paying the price! Ohh, when I get over there, he's gonna get more than an earful of-"]. 

"Papi, this isn't about Kamui. Not entirely, anyway". 

["What do you mean?"] 

Kagura was skeptical, wondering if her plan would work out the way she hoped it would. First she wanted to confirm what Kamui had told her, to clear the air, so on and so forth before she could move on with asking this favour. 

"Papi...Were you a member of Housen's gang?" 

["...Is that what Kamui told you?"] 

"...! Papi, don't be mad. He just-". 

["Clearly the boy didn't tell you why I became a part of that bastard's clique. Did he mention how I fought him?"] Kagura's words trembled, but she confirmed what Kamui had told her. ["Believe it or not, I did it for your sake. You know what they did to you and Kamui. Yes, I realise it was reckless of me now, but I fought back to show him how wrong he was to set his gang on my own children"]. 

Kagura could barely remember that day. All she could recall was taking a walk through the rain with her brother until a couple of thugs approuched them. After that...Nothing. Nothing but the scent of her mother's perfume and warm sheets wrapped around her aching body. 

"Did you know a lot about the gang and their hide-outs, maybe?" Wanting to move as far away from the memories of that incident, and with her father's explanation of his involvement in mind, she carried on. 

["Yes, actually. I gained their trust and found out about a couple hide-outs that they were intending to run in Tokyo. Why?"] 

"Papi, this is very important: I need you to come back to Tokyo and go straight to the police. They need to know where those hide-outs are and Kamui's gang'll be finished. I won't ask anymore favours, but this needs to happen. Please, Papi...". 

["That's why you want me to come back?"] 

"Yeah...I know it won't change Kamui's position, but I'm sick of seeing him get into trouble. If this happens then maybe...". 

Kagura wanted there to be even the slightest chance that their family could go back to normal, but in her mind she knew that it was too hard to finish that sentence and know for sure that Kamui would come back. With his gang arrested, there may have been a chance, no matter how small. 

["...Alright. I, I'll try to come back as soon as possible. It may take a while, but sit tight"]. 

"Thanks, Papi. Remember: go straight to the police and tell them you have information on Kamui's gang". 

["I will, kiddo. Don't worry"]. 

... 

Present Day... 

... 

The right decision was made. Kagura knew that calling her father was the right choice to make, for the greater good. If the gang was gone then there was nothing to hold Kamui back anymore. But slowly she realised how much he might hate her for it, and it broke her heart. But at the same time she kept telling herself that she did the right thing, whether her moronic big brother liked it or not. 

"Hey, sadist".

"Yeah, China Girl?" Okita was sitting back with his phone in hand, and stopped himself from turning it on when Kagura decided to strike up a conversation. 

"Can I tell you something important?" The police were gonna find out anyway, might as well tell the sadist the big news in confidence. "I, er...I called my Papi last night". 

"Okay? How is this important?" 

"He...Let's just say that he knows where Kamui's gang is hiding out. So he's coming back to Tokyo to tell them everything". 

"Really? You couldn't have asked for an address over the phone?" 

"He could be important to the police's case! Do you think I thought it all through over the phone?! I was panicking, okay?! Too late now. He's on his way from the U.S, and then the Mayora can put the Yato gang away for good. Everyone's happy". 

"Except Kamui. How'd you think he'll feel about it?"

"He'll hate me, but it's for the best, right?"

She wasn't wrong. But the weird part was that she was trying to toughen up and act indifferent through reality. Kamui was not going to like the situation, to put it lightly. With his gang arrested, what would he have left but a jail sentence on his back and a little sister who got his whole gang arrested for his own good? Yeah, he was gonna be pissed. But what can you do? Even without him around for a few months (if he was lucky) Kagura still had Gintoki and Shinpachi, and so many other people, to call family. But, with a blood-related member of the family...How long would she be able to tough it out?

Okita looked to the vending machines, stationed near the restrooms, unoccupied. A distraction was needed here, for the next twenty minutes. When you're bored, look to the fridge and cupboards for something to do. In this case, it was the vending machines. 

"I'm gonna go buy some snacks. Want anything in specific?" 

"No, anything is fine, thanks...". 

How long until her tough attitude would collapse and the tears would fall when a judge slammed his gavel down and cried "guilty"? Brave kid...No, really. She was. As much as she tried to act as indifferent or as strong as her brother, deep down Kagura would do anything to have her brother back, that didn't involve having him live several months-maybe a couple years-behind bars for the smallest, most stupid crimes that an average adolescent boy could commit if he was idiotic and reckless enough. If her father was there...Maybe it'd be a little easier to see one family member go while the other comes back for a little while. But in the end she'd only lose both again...Like last time... 

... 

Eight Years Ago... 

...

Under a big, dripping overhang, beneath the rain storm, Kamui was paying for their groceries while Kagura stood by with one of the bags and their umbrella in one hand. Kamui was smiling at the old lady handling the vegetable stall, but he dreaded the ordeal of picking up two heavy bags while Kagura carried the umbrella for them both. It wasn't an ideal situation, but they didn't have many choices. Only one, as a matter of fact: get the groceries home without getting them wet under the storm. 

"Alright, c'mon, sis'. I'm gonna need ya to hold the umbrella up as high as you can. Can you do that?" 

"Yep. I can do it, Big Brother. Hngh...". Kagura stretched her small arm up, scrunching her face as she tried to get it above Kamui's head. She was going as far as to stand on her toes in order to sheoter him from the rain. He found it endearing upon first glance, until it became clear that she was pushing herself for his sake. 

"O-okay, not too much. You'll hurt your arm". 

"Yes, you're straining yourself too hard, even for a short fry like him". 

At the low voice that suddenly entered their ears, the sibling's cocked their heads towards the dull shower known as the rainstorm and watched as a familiar figure approuched with a smile, and a full head of hair... 

Kagura gasped. "Papi...!" Gentky placing her share of the grcoeries down on the concrete, careless about the rain, as she ran out towards their father. 

Still holding his umbrella, Umibouzu knelt down on damp and dirty concrete to sweep his daughter up into one free arm. She hugged him tightly, smiling despite the cold and the growing dampness of her hair. 

"There's my girl. How are you, sweetheart? Been taking care of your Mom?" 

"Mm-hm! Big Brother and I got groceries for her!" 

"Good to see that you're both working so hard, but don't push yourselves, alright?" Umibouzu tilted his head to the side, seeing his son stand under the overhang with bags in hand, refraining from dashing in for a hug. "Hey, son. Been a while". 

Kamui had a reason to avoid hugs and smiles from his father, who left him with everything and his wife with nothing but the sole responsibility of looking after these kids. At such a young age, Kamui understood the circumstances, and he couldn't get the frustration out of his head as his father never explained why he left so many times for a job when there were plenty that were open in Kyoto. It wasn't certain that he would make much, but they'd be together and happy. Seeing him turn up out of the blue, again, Kamui was starting to feel a little more indifferent each time.

"Er, Papi, can you help us carry the bags? They're a little heavy". Kagura hopped in when the awkward silence laced through their reunion, which should have been happy and a lot less...tense. 

"Of course, sweetheart. It'll be a little quicker as well. Kamui, you come under the big umbrella too". 

... 

All three of them went under the big umbrella as they walked, although Kamui's irritation kept him at a more psychological distance with his father. It was cramped, still cold, but Kagura was living in absolute bliss at the return of her father.

"Papi, are you gonna stay this time?" 

"Ah, sorry, sweetheart. I still have work, so I'll be leaving again in about a week". 

Of course he was... 

""But I miss talking to you when you're gone. And I'm sure Mami misses talking to you too". 

"Well, if you'd like, I could ask your mother to share the phone number I gave her. She never calls because she doesn't want to interupt my work, but I could write down the times when you're able to call me". 

"Yeah! Please do that, Papi!" 

"Haha, sure thing, kiddo". 

Kagura was young, naive, so it was understandable that she couldn't be angry at her father for leaving...Just saddened. And the old man was putting on a smike too, despite knowing how heart-breakijg it was for his daughter whenever he left. And Kamui predicted more waterworks to set off next week when he walked back down these stone steps for nearly another month. And it pissed him off. Really pissed him off... 

They arrived at their little house, looking over Kyoto from this hill. They all rushed inside and out of the storm, listening to the silence of the house when shutting the door behind them. Kagura and Kamui weee shivering from the cold, although Kamui tried to bear with it. 

"Kids, I'll get the bags, so why don't you both sit by the fireplace and warm up? I'll make some tea for you later". 

"Thanks, Papi". Kagura was in a hurrynto get warm, but was in a bigger rush to tell her mother the good news about Umibouzu's return. "Mami, Papi's home! Papi's home!" 

She called out while rushing down the hallway, heading straight for her mother's room. Umibouzu carried all the bags towards the kitchen once his big boots were off, leaving Kamui to follow Kagura into their mother's room to greet her. 

Her bedroom door was left slightly ajar as soon as Kagura had entered, and when Kamui opened it back up he saw Kagura was already comfortable by Kouka's side. She was happy to have her hair pet, indulging in the warmth of the bed's coverletand her mother's warm hugs. Their mother...Even when pale with illness, she was still very beautiful; long vermillion hair, shining blue eyes and naturally long lashes, fair skin and the most radient but kind smile . She glanced up from Kagura, spotting Kamui at the door. 

"Kamui, sweetheart, come on in. Kagura said your Father's home". 

"Er, yeah. He helped out with the groceries". 

"And he let us under the big umbrella!" Kagura announced this, ecstatic. It even made Kamui smile. 

"Did he now? That's wonderful, honey. It also explains why you're both peefectly dry...Although you are chilled to the bone. Why not go sit by the fire?" 

"But I wanna sit with Mami. It's warm here, and it smells nice...". 

"Sis', c'mon. Let's sit by the fire and then you can stay with Mom". 

"Mm...Okay...". Kagura wore a sulking face, letting go of her mother's hands to slide down onto the floor, joining Kamui as he headed for the door. 

As they were about to exit, the door opened up once more and Umibouzu stepped inside, peering in; happy to see Kouka again. 

"Off you go, kids. I'm just gonna say hi to your Mom and then we'll all have tea together, alright?" 

"Okay, Papi". Kagura was a little more enthusiastic, dragging Kamui out the door to give their parent's some privacy to talk. 

The door was shut, and their eyes met in silence. They both smiled at eachother, and Umibouzu approuched a little awkwardly. He sat down on the bed, gently grasping Kouka's hand, caressing the fair skin. 

"Kouka...I messed you so much". 

"I missed you, too. We all did...". 

"...Dear, you know you can call me whenever-". 

"Oh, but I don't want to disrupt your work. You've been working so hard, and it's given us a good life. We have a nice, little home, we have two beautiful children, I...". 

"You can still call me, Kouka. I...I wish I could stay here, but this job is-...It's giving us a chance to make you better. We have a good doctor now that I'm working this job. You can get well again, Kouka". 

They were kind, hopeful words from Umibouzu. He had hope that she would improve eventually, as did their children. Kouka smiled, placing her hand on Umibouzu's cheek-a hand that was smaller and much more frail than his. She was smiling, but her hopes were weaker than their's. 

"I hope so...". Shelowered her head, but didn't break her tiny smile. But Umibouzu was persistent, cupping both of her cheeks and lifting her head. 

"Honey, look at me...You will get better. I know you will...". 

It was almost desperation; the way he tried to convince Kouka that everything was going to be okay. The first time they met...It was just them, together, living in isolation. And through everything, Umibouzu admitted that he would be lonely without Kouka in his life. She was kind to him, and he was oddly gentle and earnest. It was just the four of them now. And when it came down to it, Kamui was the one who had to look out for the youngest: Kagura. But they didn't have much of a choice. By this point, a crack had already began to form in this otherwise happy and grateful family. It was no one's fault, but certain events had been set up to make Kamui into the man he was now. Considering who he was now, those events...They weren't exactly happy. From then on, nothing really was... 

... 

Present Day... 

... 

When your thoughts seem to wander, time does as well. But in this case, as the memories of home rushed by in mere minutes, the time in the present dragged on and on. Twenty minutes, the nurse said. Twenty minutes and Okita was still fiddling with his phone, clicking his tongue in irritation as he failed to get a clear connection to the hospital's internet. What a typical attitude within such an...atypical human being.

"How long has it been?" 

Okita looked to the clock above reception, huffing out a big, annoyed breath as he leaned back in his chair as the present smacked him in the face as well. 

"Five minutes...". 

"Are you freakin' kidding me?" With consideration of the other people, Kagura refrained from raising her voice, effectively waking the corpses down in the hospital's morgue. Yes, she knew there was a morgue after hearing Hijikata talk about his work to Gintoki. 

"Augh! All I wanna do is see my brother, but because of "maintenance", I'm stuck here, awkwardly hanging out with you". 

"China Girl, you think it'd be any better in your brother's room? You don't think that would be awkward?" 

"...Good point". 

With an open packet of milk candies on Okita's lap, he distracted himself with it...For about twenty seconds before the candy was chewed up and slid down his throat. Onto the next one. Kagura eyed it with interest, since her share of candy lasted twenty seconds as a whole. She didn't savour a lot of it, so the pleasure of eating the candy didn't last. 

"...Can I have one of those?" 

Okita noticed her eyes affixed to his lap, and thus affixed to the bag of milky, chewy candies that, in her mind, were calling out to her. The hell was he doing eating one at a time? Man up. 

"By one do you mean the whole thing? No chance". 

"C'mon~! I'm bored~".

Her excuse for taking his share of candy was boredom; something so half-assed that it was almost amusing to see her slouch down further in an already uncomfortable chair as if in protest, peacefully demanding that he shares the sweets before her boredom got any worse. He wasn't always one to give in (more like never) but today was different. He needed the China Girl to stop fidgeting and stop complaining. It was frustration tk watch and only made him feel more bored sitting in this place. 

"Fine. But try to catch the candy in your mouth". 

"Why...?" 

"Cause I'm bored as well". 

"That's a lame excuse". 

"Eating to ease boredom is a lame excuse, isn't it?" 

"Haaah...Fine. But I'm only doin' it 'cause I'm bored as well". 

Kagura lazily sat up from her chair, crossing her tired, aching legs into a basket when facing Okita, waiting for the first candy to be tossed into the air. When it was, putting aside her attitude of idleness, she made an effort into catching the small, square candy between her teeth. She did, and the reaction from Okita was worth it. 

"Woah, good job. Can you do it again?" 

"I'm not a performing moneky. Here, you try it". 

While the bag of candy was still vulnerable, Kagura's hand dove in and came back up with more than one candy clenched within her fist. She took one and tossed it in the air for Okita to catch. He was totally unprepares for it, and missed horrible as the candy smacked his face, falling and landing to the floor with a muffled click against ten-year-old carpet. You would assume it was that old... 

"Oww...Jesus, those are-...hard...". 

"Shoulda been more prepared, sadist". 

"Y'know what, let's see how you like it".

Having control of the bag, Okita was given an unfair advantage where he could simply toss a hard, square candy at Kagura's face and revel in her brief experience of momwntary pain and annoyance. 

"Ow! That. Hurt!" 

"Now we're even. For real this time, okay?" 

"Ugh...Okay, for real. But if you hit me with one of those again, I'll hit you ten times harder". 

"Ready...?" 

"Uh-huh...".

Okita tossed another candy, but this time they were both perfectly ready for the catch. Like a dog catching a frisby, although a little more respectful than that, Kagura caught the tiny piece of candy between her teeth, grinning. 

"Go' i'!" Her inability to form a coherent victory was mildly amusing. And her reward was the square candy itself, sticking to her molars as she chewed happily. 

"Y'know, sis' and I used to share all of our candy". 

"Mm...? Really? Kamui and I did the same. We didn't have much money, so the first chance that we got, we'd buy one box or packet of candy and share". 

"Heh, guess we do have a little more in common". 

"Except your sister was a good person...". 

"Except my sister was a good person". Okita repeated, smiling, knowing that their difference in siblings irritated Kagura a little.

"...Kamui was a good person, too, once. I actually thought he was cool when I was younger". 

"Huh, I can...I can kinda see that. Think he's cool now?" 

"...". 

"Thought so...". 

He was being sarcastic obviously, but it still bothered Kagura. Yes, she used to think Kamui was a cool older brother who stuck up for her and protected her. Then everything went to shit from there. Now he was facing a prison sentence, the moron. Yet here she was, as compassionate and forgiving as she was when she was a naive little girl. The only thing that changed was her naivity. Kamui wasn't cool anymore, he was idiotic. He wasn't sticking up for her or protecting her, that was Gintoki's job. Yet she was sitting in the hospital waiting lobby with a small bento in hand for Kamui. She considered this situation to be unusual if you think about Kamui's character and all that he's done over the past three years. But, no matter what, Kagura knew she had to be there for him, because she cared. 

"Guess you still care enough to be here, though". Even Okita could recognise how she felt. He was a cynical asshole, but he was still pretty sharp. But... "And, y'know what, I bet he still cares about you too". 

"...Thanks, Sadist". 

She didn't doubt that, but still hesitated to believe it completely. If Kamui cared then he wouldn't have acted so coldly or indifferent. But if he didn't care at all...He would have shooed her out of his room by now, right? He wouldn't be speaking to her, right? He wouldn't acknowledge Kagura as his sister, but the fact that he still said "sis"...It gave her some hope in Okita's statement. 

... 

When they were finally allowed into the wards, the usual room lay up ahead with the path leading to it seemingly shorter than before. Kagura had to make a quick trip to the restroom because she had waited for so long. So, Okita was stuck sitting next to Kamui until she got back. How could this be any more awkward than with a long silence and absolutely no eye-contact the whole time they waited. They were both very alike, even if they didn't eealise it themselves. But they did. Oh they were percectly aware of how well they matched together. The only thing that kept them from being the..."best of friends" was...Kagura, believe it or not. That and their positions as cop and criminal. If they tried it, they could have made an interesting sitcom out of this. "Gang leader and cop: so alike, but so different". Or something cheesy like that. 

"So...". Kamui began, slapping his knee with his good hand as he wore an almost fake, positive attitude. "You must really like my sister to be here, again. And you are, what, giving her support?" 

"Yeah. And? If you start any over-protective crap, I'm gonna dislocate your other shoulder". 

"I'm not going to be over-protective, alright? It's just...For you to come here so many times-well, it's been about three times-I can only assume that you care a great deal about my sister. Am I correct?" 

"...You're not totally wrong". 

Having Kagura outside of the room made these shameless confessions easier to spout out in front of her brother. Yeah, to some extent, he had this affinity for Kagura and wanted to look out for her. That was all. End of story. But, by god, did Kamui have to drag it out; enjoying every moment. 

"Ah, I see. Do you like my sister?" 

"The hell is wrong with you? Why do you wanna know so badly anyway?" 

"I'm curious, that's all. By the looks of things, you do like my sister. Of course, I'll only assume that it's platonic and-". 

"Dude, you sound like her dad". 

That struck a nerve, as shown in the sudden shift of Kamui's body language; his eyebrow twitched, his lips curved downward, and he frowned at Okita in an irritated fashion. Clearly a sensitive subject; to be compared to his father. 

"Do you mind? I'd appreciate it if you didn't compare me to that old baldy". 

"Why? You sure are acting like it. I mean, I'm the youngest in my family and I was pretty protective of my big sister, but not about boys. But, y'know, I guess that shows how much you care about the China Girl, right?" 

"Pardon...?" 

"I was talking to her earlier and I said that you might still care for her in the same way she cares about you". 

"...". 

No response. But his face said it all. This guy...Being closer to Kagura, he found it more and more difficult to hide his true thoughts and feelings. After being away for such a long time, he almost forgot about what it feels like to care for family members and to want to protect them. He tried to abandon all of that for fun and strength. But was all of that just on the surface? Kamui was opening up bit by bit, and Okita could see it. These visits from Kamui were bringing back memories, like now. And when Kagura walked into the room, bento in hand, a particular memory sparked and it sent him into a momentary daze. He used to want to protect Kagura. Is that what...He still wanted? 

... 

Six Years Ago... 

... 

The sounds made during the previous night never left Kamui's head. He could still hear Kagura crying under her futon after their father left for an even longer trip into the city. Of course, like every other time that he left, Kagura had cheered up the next morning. Either that or she was putting on a brave face. She was freely walking through an empty street, ahead of Kamui as her impatient's grew. They had picked up a few things at the store and Kagura just wanted to go home and check on their mother. Kouka had gotten weaker over the past couple years, and Kagura wanted to be by her side all the time in case she took a turn. So, on their way home, Kamui promised that she could stay home and that he could run errands by himself. All she had to do, right now, was to stick close to him. But her impatient's exceeded. 

"Kagura, don't wander off. I told ya to stay by my side at all times. Mom would get upset if you got lost". 

"I won't get lost; I already know the way back home". 

"Still, it isn't safe. Now hurry up and get back here". 

His tone must have been more forceful than intended, as Kagura stopped in the middle of the pavement, looking at Kamui with an astonished and almost frightened expression. 

"Wh-why are you so angry? I, I'm sorry, Big Brother...I won't wander off...". 

"He-hey, don't get upset. I'm sorry, alright? It's just, I don't want you to wander off. It's dangerous. Stick close to me. Kagura". He called her name in order to full grab her attention. She nodded solemnly, receiving a quick pat to the head in praise. "Good girl. Now that that's outta the way, we can go home together. Saves some time now that I don't have to tell you off-...!" 

Kamui immediatly put his guard up when two, taller shadows cast over them in the middle of the street. He jumped when they approuched, making sure Kagura was behind him. He was right to do so. To strange men, who looked more like young thugs, confronted them with smirks for no goddamn reason other than to be bullies, Kamui assumed. 

"Looks at these brats". One of them said, eyeing the bag of groceries in Kamui's hand. "Running errands for Mommy, are ya?" 

"The hell do you want?" Kamui questioned them, bravely, although with full intent to run with Kagura if it really came down to that. Which it would...These guys reeked of trouble and cheap deodorant that you could buy anywhere in this small, cheap town. 

"Ooh, do we have a tough guy? Got any change tough guy?" 

"Back off. Are you so pathetic as to steal money from a couple of kids?" 

"Ka-Kamui, let's just-...!" Kagura was about to drag Kamui off the scene before things got too heated, but then the other thug started eyeing her. 

"Wow, what a cute little sister. How old is she? Seven? Eight?" 

"I said back off!" Kamui put his foot down, standing up to these guys no matter how big they were, in comparison to his small height. He wasn't afraid to fight them either, although there was absolutely no guarantee that he would win against these men. He was only a boy. "Lay a finger on my little sister, and I'll kill you". 

They mocked him with "oohs" and "ahhs" of fake terror, laughing in his face-but of course they only provoked more anger. 

"Really? So if I was to do...this!" 

"Aagh...!" One the men swiftly grabbed Kagura by the arm, squeezing it on purpose. They did it to gain reactions from Kamui, and that's all it was. They continued to laugh as he tried to reach out to her, only to be pushed back by the other man. 

He...He was gonna break her arm... 

"Kagura! Fucking let go! Let go of me you creep!" Then, as the rage built up and the laughter got to him, Kamui threw his first punch. He smacked the thug directly in the gut with enough force to make his legs quake. He clenched his stomach, groaning. And the other man, still holding Kagura's arm at a painful angle, watched in shock...He was also provoked with anger... 

"You little-...!" 

A sudden dull rush of pain hit Kamui square in the face, and then shortly after his stomach was struck too. He could hear Kagura's cries as he collapsed to the ground, totally helpless against these thugs. He did try to stand to his feet and show him how strong he could be...How strong he tried to be...Only when there was a cracking sound from Kagura's arm did he feel the urge to murder these sick men. But, it all came to an end, swiftly. There was a cry of pain...A man's cry of pain, and then a thudding against solid concrete. The other man cursed and was sent to the ground as well, as far as Kamui could see from the corner of his eye. 

"Augh...Abuto, you...". One of the men groaned. Abuto? 

"Get the fuck outta here you damn fleas. You think Housen will be happy to hear that you picked on a couple of kids? For shame...Now, get the fuck outta here before I break your legs". 

Kamui could hear the struggle of these men as they tried to get up and run from the scene. When getting up himself, Kamui's first instinct was to run to Kagura's side. She was kneeling on the ground, bawling her eyes out as she clutched her arm. It didn't look broken at first glance, but the shock and the pain obviously got to her more than it did to Kamui. 

"S-sis'! Holy crap, are you alright? Shh, shhh, I'm here...I'm right here...". Kamui wrapped his arms around Kagura's small body, petting her hair. He felt weak for failing to stop them. And instead some guy with baggy eyes and a stubble on his face helped them. He looked much older than the thugs, but he couldn't have been any older than late twenties. 

"Is she okay?" He asked, bending down, a little above their level. 

"She's fine! Just...I think they sprained her arm....Now could you leave us alone?!" 

"Woah there, kid, I just helped you brats out. 'Course, I'm not expecting anything in return. I just wanna help, as an apology for the more...defective members of Housen's clique. Trust me". 

"No...Go away". 

This "Abuto" guy rolled his eyes and groaned. Wasn't Kamui being smart about this? Or was he really being stubborn against the offerings of a total stranger who happened to pass by and help them? 

"It's not like I'm gonna do anything-...Look, I don't have much money, but we'll see about patching up you and you're sister. You've got a pretty bad bruise yourself. Wait here, alright?" 

They had no reason to trust this guy. He was as shady as the two assholes who ran off with their tail's between their legs. But Kamui watched him closely out of curiosity and caution, seeing him head into a pharmacy despite how shifty he appeared to be. With that in mind, he waited with Kagura on the filthy pavement until he came back. 

... 

Abuto had actually patched them, offering to walk part-way to their home. And Kamui was actually trusting him. Like he said, Abuto only walked them part-way and left them to the rest of the safe route. Kamui carried a weak and frail Kagura on his back. The shock had stuck with her this entire time, and it scared Kamui to think about what was going through her head. There was no use worrying forever when she passed out upon coming home.

Kouka had gotten worried about them, wondering what took so long before their bruises and marks answered her question. When falling to her knees, holding her children in her arms despite being so frail, it sent this forceful wave of guilt and frustration through Kamui's brain and he knew right then and there that this couldn't continue, and that he needed to be stronger for his family's sake. But he was more frustrated at his father for leaving his family to fend for themselves. 

Within the safety of her room, Kagura lay by her mother's side, asleep and unaware of her surroundings. Kouka cleaned Kamui's cuts and scrapes from falling on hard concrete without saying anything. There was only this concerned expression on her face. Kamui hissed in pain when the cloth touched the stinging scrape of skin and blood on his arm. 

"Ah-...Sorry, sweetie. I know it hurts, but please bear with it". 

"...". 

They fell silent again when Kouka proceeded to clean his tiny wounds. He could see that she was tired with illness, although trying to put on a brave face just as Kagura did earlier that day. His heart ached thinking about it. Knowing that Kagura was safe now made him feel better, but seeing his mother now in such a condition was...Awful. It was so awful... 

"Mom, how are you feeling exactly?" 

"I...I'm fine, baby. A little tired, but I'm fine nonetheless". 

"No, I mean...Are you happy here?" 

"Kamui...?" 

"...We live in a dangerous neighborhood, Dad leaces constantly and I'm...not strong enough to protect either of you". 

"Oh, sweetheart...". Kouka cupped Kamui's cheek to comfort him, although her efforts were in vain as he could feel her fingers shake. And it forced him to grasp her hand and hold it steady over his cheek. "Don't say that. There was nothing you could do but run away and...I don't understand why you didn't". 

"Because that's not a sollution, Mom. Dad runs away. He runs away from us and-". 

"You're father works to support us; his family. He's been sending money every week, and we've managed. I miss him a lot, but he's trying his best". 

"But you're not happy, right? The fact that he's gone for so long, it makes you unhappy, doesn't it? He's the reason why you're so sick...". 

"Honey, that isn't true-". 

"Yes it is! It is true...He's making you unhappy, and it's making you're sickness worse...And I...". Kamui covered his mouth abruptly, sniffling as he tried so hard to hold back tears. But, like his honest, grieving words, the tears just poured. 

"And I'm not helping either...I can't support you or sis'...I'm so weak...". 

"Kamui, stop that. Hey. Hey, look at me". 

Kamui raised his head, hyperventilating slightly due to the tears. Kouka wore a serious and determined facial expression. Her intent wasn't to coddle Kamui, but to make him realise that he's no hero. He's only a boy who needs to toughen up. 

"Kamui, don't doubt yourself so much. And you're right; running isn't the sollution. Sometimes it's better to face your problem's head-on with confidence. But in this case, when you and your sister were in danger, that's when you run. It's not cowardice, it's just being smart, sweetie. If you two were to ever get hurt again, I...I don't know what I'd do...". 

Kamui could see the sentiment and fear break through in Kouka's eyes. But there were no tears whatsoever. She took a deep breath, laid her hands on her son's shoulders and gave him a nod. 

"Protecting someone doesn't always have to result in violence, Kamui. You understand that, don't you?" 

"...Yeah". 

"Sometimes we protect the people we care about teaching them things that become common sense and by passing on a good influence. So far you're sister has picked up on all of those things. And despite the times that your father has left, she still loves him all the same. And I love him. I know you do, too. So don't blame him or yourself for my...condition. It's just the way things are and...This is one of those problem's that you have to confront and accept. Understand?" 

"Mom...". 

"Kamui, I...Whatever happens, I need you to be a brave boy, and accept it. Can you do that for me?" 

"Mom, I...I don't understand...". 

Kouka was trembling, yet still held back tears, even when pulling her son into her arm's. She squeezed his body with whatever strength she had, petting his hair. He hugged back out of habit, gradually getting hs mother's message. It hurt. And it was frustrating...He couldn't get it out of his head; that it was his father's faukt, no matter what Kouka said to him in his defense. She wasn't happy with watching him leave again and again. And she definitely wasn't happy seeing her children getting hurt because he was never there.

Kouka was kind-hearted and she loved her husband, but Kamui couldn't see himself in Umibouzu's shoes. He couldn't imagi e ehat was going through his head when he decided to leave for a job in the city. And it angered him, thinking about how weak he was. Kamui had considered himself to be weak, with the desire to grow stronger for many reasons. All the while he couldn't stand the emotional pain he shared with his mother. And, when mixed together, all this boy really wanted to do was to...get away from it all. As selfish as it sounded, he wanted to get away. But at the same time he wanted to stay by his mother's side and, as she said, accept whatever comes to pass...As painful as it would be... 

... 

Present Day...

... 

The sight was something to behold, right there in Gintoki's living room, sitting perfectly on his desk: Ana Ketsuno's autograph, scribbled neatly onto a coffee shop napkin with a little heart scribbled along with it. Once photo-framed, Gintoki found it challenging to take his eyes off of what he considered to be a masterpiece. Some people collect art, Gintoki collects Ana Ketsuno "souvenirs" with pure joy in his eyes. 

Hijikata had only just exited the bathroom, trying his uniform tie for another evening of work. He smiled a little when noticing Gintoki's longing gaze towards the photo-frame on his desk. He wasn't offended by Gintoki's pleased and overjoyed expression over an autograph. He was understanding enough to find it endearing. To take it seriously was, frankly, petty. Gintoki had his likes, and even he found admiration in people or pleasure in even the smallest things. And in Gintoki's eyes, even as he couldn't take them away from the autograph when alone with it, he still recognised Hijikata as the most beautiful thing in the room--a real person whom he could reach out to for the most simple but affectionate things. For instance, he made a statement to Hijikata by pulling him back onto the couch with a smile, cuddling him, paying no mind the the autograph all of a sudden. 

"It...It usually kinda sucks to see you get ready for work". 

"I know it does...". Hijikata sighed, tightening up his tie as a way of saying that he doesn't have a choice, no matter how much it sucks. "I'll definitely be back tonight, though". 

"Kagura'll be home, though". 

"And? We-...We don't have to have sex, right? It could be a quiet night, just the two of us in bed, talking". 

"Mm...Yeah, those are nice too...Drinking tea, having an extra blanket 'cause it'll be freezing tonight. Strangely enough that sounds like a perfect night to me, even without all the...sexy, hot stuff". 

"Glad we agree. I'm more in the mood for hot tea, an extra blanket and a good book, as well as the odd conversation with you than just-...Y'know...". 

They sounded like an ageing couple, and they knew it. But there was something good in that which turned their heads, had their eyes meeting, and let out soft, awkward chuckling from the both of them. And then all that was left was to lock fingers, caressing soft skin, then to move in for a soft and sweet kiss. At their age they could last longer than "soft and sweet" while keeping it warm-hearted and special, something not too hot or imposing when Hijikata had work in an hour. If there were any--any--interuptions at all now, it would be heart-breaking... 

... 

The sounds were loud, the ground shook beneath thick boots like an earhtquake. The receptionist sitting in the lobby of the apartment building was shocked out of her daydreams to see a man running up the stairs, avoiding the empty elevator, at top speed with no intention to stop until he either reached his destination or when the ground managed to collapse. He was frantic, in a hurry that no man had witnessed before. There was heavy panting, shaking with each fast-paced step. Bullets of sweat ran down his face, and his voice echoed throughout the stairwell in a terrifying scream. 

"Kaguraaaaaaaaaaaaa!" Deja vu anyone?

When reaching the top floor, you'd think the beast would calm down-but no. No such thing happened. He knew where exactly he was going, and he had no intention of stopping until he said so. Heading for the apartment on the left side of the staircase, the door was burst open in a single, frantic moment, and the hearts of Gintoki Sakata and Toushiro Hijikata nearly erupting from their chests when the noise hit them like a smack in the face, only ten times harder.

They cocked their heads, looking over the sofa's back with only horror on their faces as a familiar one had entered the room without warning, dripping with sweat. 

"Kagura?! Kagura, are you home?! Daddy's here!" 

"U-Umibouzu...?!" Gintoki cried out, unable to hear his own voice through ears that were ringing from the mere shock of seeing this guy barge into his apartment, calling out for his daughter when she wasn't even home. 

"You...!" Umibouzu pointed his gloved finger at Gintoki, ignoring the fact that he was positioned with another man on the sofa. "Where's Kagura?! Is she here?! Tell me right now!" 

"Shut up, Baldy! Can't you see I'm busy?!" Without a shred of shame, Gintoki pointed his finger at Umibouzu, yelling at the top of his voice in rage. "Why the hell do people keep barging in on us?!" 

"I don't care about you two fruits!" Unlike everyone else that Gintoki and Hijikata were acquainted with, Umibouzu wasn't even acknowledging the fact that it was those two, together. But, then again, Umibouzu barely knew them both and only cared about his daughter's well-being. Should have stayed in Tokyo, Baldy. "I wanna know where Kagura is! She called me back, I'm here, and I need to see her!" 

"She isn't here, asshole!" 

"Did anyone ever tell you to respect your elders, you stupid natural perm?!" 

The bickering...Oh the bickering. And the guy had only just burst into the room, shaking his fist, demanding to see his daughter and a hot-headed Gintoki had to respond in a high volume that was just as enraged. For what? Because he rudely interupted the quiet time between two men? Yeah, of course that was the reason, moron. 

"Kagura isn't here! She's off visiting your idiotic son in the hospital because he-...!" 

"Gin-chan...?" 

Speak of the devil. Inbetween the unecessary argument against two grown men, Kagura's voice overwhelmed both parties when making her unexpected entrance so soon. Seeing her everyday, Gintoki wasn't too shocked. Obviously it was her doting father who swiftly turned towards the open doorway to see his daughter standing within it, looking totally terrified when her father looked her in the eyes with the longing to simply hug her and say how much he missed her. Could have been that simple, but in this father's case it wasn't. 

"Kagura...!" Umibouzu swept Kagura off the ground, squeezing her tightly. Her cheeks puffed out as the struggle to breathe hit her harder than his appearance at the apartment. "I missed you so much, honey! Is everything okay?! Has this natural-permed bastard been taking good care of you?!" 

"Oi...!" When he was on the verge of settling back down beside Hijikata, those words felt harsh, stinging like an annoying little insect, bringing Gintoki straight back up to his feet to once again argue with the old man. "I'm sure as hell a better guardian than you are, Grandpa!" 

"Urgh! P-Papi! What the hell are you-ugh! Wha-...What the hell are you doing here, you stupid baldy?! I told you to go straight to the police! Didn't you listen to me?!" 

"The hell kinda father returns after a trip and doesn't visit his child at least once? Believe me, you're idiot of a brother is next!" 

Kagura pushed Umibouzu away, landing painfully on her feet against hardwood floors. However, her frustration was the main focus, seeing as the old baldy didn't listen to what she said over the phone. Couldn't he have saved this reunion after telling the police vital information about a very important case? 

"Don't touch Kamui! Right now, the Mayora needs help with Kamui's gang! I told you that-". 

"Woah, woah, woah, hang on!" Only after this information came to light did Hijikata also spring to his feet. He approuched Kagura and Umibouzu with enthusiasm--the kind Gintoki had never witnessed beforw in such a calm, level-headed man. "China Girl, what are you talking about? What does your father know about Kamui's gang?" 

"Enough to tell you where they might be hiding". Umibouzu answered with confidence, recognising Hijikata as a police officer by, one, the incomplete uniform he was wearing, and merely his interest in this information. He was confident, and determined, as any cop should be. 

"Seriously? Are you sure?" 

"Positive...". 

"But, wait...How exactly do you know this information?" He wasn't just confident, but the cop was cautious as well, feeling wary of Umibouzu. 

"Let's say that Housen and I were old "acquaintences". Now, if you want this information then you'd best show me a map and a fully qualified S.W.A.T team. I'm no chief of police, but god knows what's become of Housen's gang since my bastard of a son started runnin' it. Depending how many there are, you'll need as much power as you can get". 

"Don't have to tell me, old man. I'm perfectly aware". Hijikata then sighed, turning to Gintoki, guilty. "Haah...Gintoki...". 

But Gintoki raised his hand, smiling kindly. "Don't bother. Go do your job, but come back as soon as possible with good news. I don't want you're sudden leave to be a total waste of time, ya hear?" 

"Yeah...". 

"Save the apologies and take down that brat's gang already so you'll have plenty of free time later. You've got work, anyway, so go". 

Hijikata wanted to say "you're too damn understanding. I owe you so much, I...". Of course, it never came out, even in the heat of the moment. He only promised to come back with victory in his hands over the infamous gang plaguing Tokyo. This was the last time...This had to be the last time that Hijikata left Gintoki early for work that bitterly came first. He was on his way to work in an hour, but that hour would have to be saved for later that night. If this wasn't the opportunity that the entire police department was looking for, to finally take down gang activity, then what was? 

... 

A map of Tokyo was sprawled out among a collected of desks within the police department. Umibouzu had a whole crowd awaiting this prize information they had needed for far too long. They would have found the base eventually with narrowing down their options in the city of abandoned buildings or areas, but this could save a lot of people properties from harm. This was the perfect chance, and everyone-everyone on duty-was listening. 

Pressing his hands on the surface of the desk, Umibouzu studied the map intently, pin-pointing particular locations from memory alone. He traced his finger along routes and areas at the very edges of the city until, finally, he spoke up. 

"As far as I remember...". He began, grasping his chin, still staring at the map. "There are about three hide-outs that Housen had set up for his petty little clique. One is in Kyoto, but I doubt that's necessary considering what you've told me about recent gang activity. One location is in the slums which, as I've heard, are up for renovation". 

"That's right". Kondo responded, eyes focused, arms crossed. "We've looked around there many times, arrested many gang members but there's no definite sign that Kamui's clique hangs around there". 

"That only leaves you with an old warehouse, by the docks: here". Umibouzu pointed to a very specific location on the map, to which the surrounding members of the police force peered over eachother's shoulders to have a look for themselves, out of interest. "Umibouzu had bought it a long time ago, before he moved onto business in the sex industry and human trafficking. It's been abandoned for years, right? You can only assume that a low-life gang would hang around there to drink, smoke and gamble their money away to eachother like fools". 

"Really? That it?" 

"Well, he also set up a couple tenements for the members, so they might still be lurking around there". 

"Anything we should be wary of? How about guns?" 

"Guns?! Oh, no, that wasn't quite up Housen's alley. And it's not up my son's either. With them it was a fair fist fight or nothing. Maybe a knife or two, but I'm sure you can all handle that".

"Alright...". Hijikata took the lead from here, standing in front of Umibouzu, addressing the men and women who were going to be under his watch for this operation. "That settles it. We go after Kamui's gang tonight, with a S.W.A.T team. We have one, larger group, go for the warehouse, and two others who go for the slums and these tenements. Someone get Isaburo one the phone; tell him we know where to look for the Yato gang and we need his team to help in the arrests".

"On it Vice-Chief!"

"Umibouzu...". Hijikata turned to this man, with a pondering on his mind--one that had been there ever since he barged into Gintoki's apartment with determination and anger both in his eyes. "About Kamui...About your son, I'm...I'm sure this must be quite distressing for you, and you have my condolences" 

Hijikata bowed respectively, as he did with all family's whom suffered an arrest of a loved one at such a young age. As a father, wouldn't the ordinary response be something along the lines of distraught, concern or disappointment in him for getting himself into this inescapable mess? But, oddly enough, even Hijikata held different expectations of Umibouzu's response, despite "offering his condolences" and bowing politely. 

"I appreciate that, but this...It feels like the last time he was arrested. Serves him right. I thought, as a man of justice, you'd say the same". 

Hijikata stood up with a straight back and his head held high, figuratively. He nodded, thinking to himself, confirming his expectations of this man's response. Something about him told a story of "my daughter is a daddy's girl, but my son is more of a mommy's boy". Funny how Hijikata's story was similar; being the son who loved his mother but totally rejected his father while his two older half-sisters rejected Hijikata's mother as family but greatly respected their dead-beat father. And the whole time Hijikata had to take their mourning over their father's will with a pinch of salt. 

"I do think similarly. Your son hasn't exactly commited murder, but when looking at his record he seems perfectly capable". 

"I'm relieved that you understand that much. That brat is more than capable of losing sense of self and commiting an act of murder without regret or remorse. He lashed out at me, his own father, and took my arm. If I hadn't...disiplined him in a way I saw fit, in self defense, I might be dead. But if Kagura, my little girl, hadn't stopped me...".

Umibouzu was correct to pause before slipping into steep, rocky territory. With eyes that were recollecting a dark past, Umibouzu was in the right to snap out of it and look on, straight ahead towards Hijikata as the man waited in silence, looking over his comrades with an admirable form of determination. Oh boy, he was a "all cops must serve and protect" kind of guy with a slate as clean as Umibouzu's bald head. Not that Umibouzu was aware of Hijikata's past, something that could never, simply, be put in a record for all eyes to see. 

"Well...". Umbrella in hand, Umibouzu raised it, leaning it against broad shoulders. "I hope you can take it from here, Mr Vice-Chief of the district police. Come back to me with good news. Kagura's forbidden me from seeing Kamui, and honestly she was right to do so". 

He didn't elaborate, but Umibouzu's intentions were quite clear, even if he didn't mean them. He would visit him in hospital to punch him around and teach him a lesson. That's stooping to new lows after beating the shit out of him in the name of self-defense.

"Take down that brat's-...Housen's gang once and for all". 

As a father, perhaps he was already sick of acknowledging his son as the leader of a gang, filled with thugs who barely qualified into adulthood, based solely on their poor life choices rather than their age. With a swift salute, Umibouzu left the police to their jobs with intent to return back to Kagura and catch up with his daughter, as he fully intended to do when comng back to this country. From there Hijikata had a duty to fufill, right now. What point was there to hold off? Give them no reason to prepare and ambush them when they feel safe inside their warehouse. 

The S.W.A.T team would be armed and ready, the holding cells would be prepared. And Hijikata was confident that, this time, they could really make a huge difference to this city. A cliched way of thinking for a cop who had seen so much irredeemable shit in the world, even within his personal life, but by doing this they could make a change. And, aside from Umibouzu, he had Kagura to thank for this. But to save the smiles and over-confidence, above all else, Hijikata knew he had to keep a straight posture and a focused mind. No fuck ups, Mr Policeman...No fuck ups. 

... 

Within a fairly quiet period of time in Tokyo, when few people walked the streets, there came the roaring stampede of black, square vans rushing through the roads in a line. And those witnessing them pass by were both curious and terrified by the intimidating abreviation "S.W.A.T" printed perfectly on the sides. No sirens, no warning for bystanders, and especially not for the Yato gang, waiting within their hiding place for nothing. Big men and strong women were as orderly within these vans, sitting side-by-side, prepared for the worst case scenario. And leading them was obviously the head of this investigation: Toushiro Hijikata, the Demonic Vice-Chief, at his very best.

The warehouse was far from the station, hence why they couldn't make common patrols in that particular district. But they went forward, each S.W.A.T member, both on the Shinsengumi side and the Mimawarigumi went over their plan, preparing for a fairly easy fight. Taking them by surprise was the best course of actions, and it wasn't like word would spread to the slums or tenements now that those locations were being hunted down too. 

Upon making their swift arrival, the aea outside the old, "abandoned" warehouse was empty, but there was some noise that could faintky be heard from the outside. From there, this one-sided attack began with a single order from the Vice-Chief. 

"On my mark, we call in all our comrades and we surround the building. A group will barge in through both the front and back doors; there will be absolutely no escape for them. Are we clear?" 

"Yes, Vice-Chief!" All at once, the men and women occupying this particular van complied with their commander, offering a brief salute to ensure their understanding and full cooperation. 

"Good. Now, when I say so, Yamazaki will radio in the other S.W.A.T vans, and we all move out. Do not lose focus, do not get overly-confident, and don't do anything stupid. We are to be forceful, but cautious. Is that clear?" 

"Yes, Vice-Chief!" 

"Excellent! Yamazaki". Hijikata had reached out to the linked radio on the "cockpit" of this ride, calling in Yamazaki to begin the operation. 

["Yes, Vice-Chief? Er, over..."]. 

"On my mark, send the teams in". 

["Vice-Chief, I don't mean to be disrespectful, but can't we just get this over with already? I know you're pumped up, but-"]. 

"On my mark, Yamazaki!" 

["Uah! O-okay, okay!"] 

"Ready...And...Go! Go, go, go!" 

This was a signal for he squad occupying this van and the other squads, awaiting Yamazaki's order. In an instance, the loud booming of thick boots and clunking armor could be heard from within. The back of the van creaked open as the doors bursted apart from eachother, and the storm officially began. Taking his own precautions, Hijikata walked out with his 9mm pistol at the ready. Umibouzu said no guns, but they couldn't rule out any possibilities of weaponary. They were dealing with a large gang, too, so the squads were more than necessary. They surrounded the building, as commanded, and Hijikata was the one to join the main team, at the very front entrance. He pulled his gun out-a thing he rarely used at work, but right now he couldn't go in unarmed. The likelyhood of someone getting shot that night was slim, but you never know. 

"Let's go. Let's bust open the doors". 

Together, the men burst open the large entrance doors, pointing their guns into the scene to see many, many expressions of pure shock and fear. Then the back doors burst open, leaving the rats trapped. 

"This is the police! All of you, I suggest putting your hands behind your head and surrendering! We have you completely surrounded!" 

There was cursing and yelling among the crowd of the "poor life choices" club. Most of them easily complied, scared out of their minds as faceless men in black armour pointed real weaponary at them, with intent to shoot if necessary. With Hijikata's order, they moved in to staet making arrests. Of course, some resisted out of both stupidity and fear. At least two pulled out a knife, only for them to be counter-attacked and held against the ground as the men in blue immediatly handcuffed them. As more men and women moved in, the scene before Hijikata's eyes was so incredibly satisfying. He felt at peace watching these brats get taken down a notch after all their stupid, minor, but incredibly dangerous crimes that harmed so many innocent people. And he honestky thought in his conscious mind "if only Kamui could see this for himself". It'd come to him eventually...

The gang members were escorted into multiple police vans, some stubborn idiots still throwing a hissy-fit for getting arrested. Hijikata watched over all of this proudly-more towards the people making the arrests and the two people who gave him the correct information to finally take this gang down. Some resisted against the force they were up against, but there was no need for guns. It was simply a precaution to a very large gang of some very dangerous individuals with past criminal records. None of them were going to cry, but they had the guts to stand up to armoured men with cuffs and enough training to bring this investigation to a close. 

In the very distance, returning to the warehouse with booze and cigarettes, feeling happy over his unfair victory against Kamui, Osamu walked out from a street corner with a few gang members to lay witness the S.W.A.T vans and the flashing sirens stationed right outside their base. And the horror was like a plague, as was the rage that followed. 

"Holy shit...". One of the members murmured, covering their mouths as if bile was going to reach his tongue. "They found us?! Ho-...". He was about to ask "how", until the look on Osamu's face said it all for them. 

"...Kamui". Osamu muttered, clutching the neck of his newly bought whiskey bottle before angrily throwing it down onto concrete, smashing it into hundreds of tiny pieces, letting all the liquid spread out over the curb. "Kamui! That snitching bastard! He did this! He-". 

"Osamu...!" A female gang member grabbed his arm, stopping the veins from popping out of his head. "How do we know it was Kamui? He's no snitch!" 

"Then who the fuck else would do it?! I'll kill him! I'll kill that bastard!" 

"Jesus...That stupid brat was sadistic, but at least he could control his anger". 

From behind this group of five, Abuto, of all people, approuched, looking more relaxed now that his infamous leader had disappeared due to the violent beating that Osamu handed to him. Didn't affect his ability to maintain a straight face, though. 

"Why are you still here, Abuto?! I thought you were the one always sucking that brat's dick". 

"Like hell I was. I was simply making sure that he didn't get himseof killed by acting like a fool, but it looks like I was too late, no thanks to you. Look, he's no snitch. He's a lying, manipluative, sadistic little bastard, but he's no snitch. If he was that pathetic, do you think I would have put up with him for so long?" 

"Then who else Abuto?" 

"I don't know".

In his own defense, Abuto answered firmly, scratching the stubble that covered his cheeks and chin as he looked over the very few options he had on what exactly to do next. 

"I'll...". He thought he had a plan for himself, but he didn't. If he openly admitted that he was going to look Kamui up, then Osamu would probably do something stupid. "You should stay hidden until things cool down". 

"What're you gonna do?" 

"Enjoy my freedom of that brat, what else? See ya around, Osamu. And eatch out for Kamui in case he does come back. No doubt he'll use your intestines as a skipping rope and your heart as a fucking stress ball". 

Abuto walked down his own path, alone, claiming to be enjoying freedom without Kamui dragging him around. If only...But he felt responsible for the brat. He couldn't help it. As much hell as that kid gave him, Abuto couldn't simply walk away from an already ticking time bomb. He had to find him, get him out of Tokyo, depending on his situation. He couldn't exactly go back to the warehouse, or anywhere else for that matter. So where the hell was he? Now he wished that he didn't get involved all those years ago, with the two China brats...Especially Kamui... 

...

Four Years Ago... 

"Kamui, wait! Don't go!" 

The kid must have been fourteen, the youngest only ten years old. Abuto waited at the bottom of stone steps for Kamui under a pitch black sky in a rainstorm. Quite the scenery. When he heard the little China Girl's voice at the top of the steps, Abuto peered up from his umbrella to see Kamui first and his sister second. She was following him down the steps, and there was a faint glimmer in her eyes that Abuto could see as being tears. 

"Please don't leave! Papi said that-". 

"I don't care what he said. Now go back home already, you're getting in my way". 

What happened to this kid? After volunteering to be in Housen's gang to "grow stronger", as Abuto was told, he completely changed from a protective brother into this guy. And he had already made a rock-solid attitude for himself that could not be penetrated, even by the pleas of his little sister, wanting him to stay at home. 

"Kamui, please! I-...!" 

On the third-to-last step, Kamui turned around, scowling at Kagura out of pure frustration. "You're so annoying!" He yelled with no intent to hold back. She stood still, terrified by this man. If only for a moment, though. "You're such a crybaby! And a weakling! I don't have time for you, so why don't you go back home and cry to Mommy?! Leave me be...Dunno how long I'll be gone for, but don't expect me to be back too soon". 

"Kamui...". 

Kamui stormed on, but the little girl didn't follow. Even when her eyes brimmed with tears, and even Abuto could here her quiet sniffling, Kamui refused to turn back again. He remained straight-faced and focused on leaving. Abuto followed behind him with a more nuetral look on all of this. He had no reason to feel sympathy for either of them, and only followed along as protection of Housen's youngest member to the gang. Even so, he had no fear of speaking his mind.

"That was pretty harsh, kid. Think she'll manage without you around?" 

"She'll be fine". Was all Kamui replied with, keeping his eyes on the road ahead. He was blocking out his sister, who was still standing on the stone steps, getting soaked by the rain with no umbrella to protect her from it. "Let them be. I'll be coming back, anyway. No need for her to start bawling...". 

He was wrong there; of course she had her reason. This little girl was left alone to look after her sick mother with no dad around and now no big brother. The hell was she supposed to do if their mother's condition worsened? Kamui still cared for her although he tried his best not to show it on the outside. He wanted his mother to get better, but he knew there was absolutely nothing that could be done to help her. So what was this? Why was he acting so harshly? Why was he running away from home when his mother was currently at her worst? And the one answer to all of that lay at the back of his mind; mocking him, making him feel this guilt that he so desperately wanted to forget. This was what it was: running away. 

... 

Present Day... 

...

Time, right now, was irrelevant. The clocks and the timer on her phone were ignored-and that was something considering how many times Kagura anxiously checked the time near the end of class. Her anxiety at the moment was directed towards the uncertainty of tonight's outcome; whether Hijikata would finally get rid of Kamui's gang or not. She believed he would, but there must have been risks. In the living room of the apartment, she sat alone, petting Sadaharu's fur while Gintoki was occupied with folding up and storing dried laundry. He comforted her earlier, ensuring her that everything would be okay, but even he must have been a tiny bit concerned about Hijikata's safety. 

Umibouzu had arrived a little more than an hour ago, helping himself to a serving of tea with Kagura's permission, of course. Took the old man a while to find out where everything was, complaining about how he would organise them, so on and so forth. He did eventually approuch the sofa with two cups of steaming tea in his hands, giving one to his daughter and receiving a quiet thank you. Umibouzu sat, quietly. Kagura sat, quietly. 

When he had returned from the states, the scene was jumpy and energetic, but cooling down as of now generated awkwardness between the two family members, whom had rarely spoken over the past few months-even through letters (since the old man had no idea how to use e-mail). But Umibouzu had already decided to man-up and speak to his daughter, apologise for so much...And it was starting now. 

"Kagura, I...I owe you an apology, sweetheart. I-...Haah...I'm sorry for not being around, and for leaving you so many times". 

"It's alright, Papi. I'm grown up now, so it doesn't bother me as much, especially now that I have Gin-chan, Shinpachi, Sadaharu and the Mayora". 

"Oh...". 

"...Doesn't mean that I don't miss you, Papi". 

"...!" 

She had indeed grown up. It was impressive, seeing his youngest act more maturely than his oldest child. 

"Sometimes I still wish that things were back to normal, but I'm old enough to know that that's not gonna happen. You have work in the states, Kamui's going to prison, and I have these guys to keep me company".

Through it all this young girl managed to smile and look up at her father with kind eyes after so much. And it honestly meant the world to him to see his daughter so happy, so content, so mature for her age. Surely she had her silly, undignified moments, but this right now was the little girl who watched her father leave home many times with the promise of returning, holding her head hight the whole time as she held her own promise: the stay strong for herself and her mother. 

"Kagura...When you called me and asked me back, it got me thinking during the unbearable long plane rides over here...I'm thinking of coming to live in Tokyo, permanently". 

The news struck a cord with Kagura, as it would with anyone in her position, but this wasn't necessarily a bad thing. Though her smile disappeared from the shock, her heart lit up, if for a moment. 

"R-really? P-Papi, don't say that unless you mean it. I...". 

"I said I'm thinking about it. Seeing as you're so happy with...The perm-head and his...homosexual friend, I...I wouldn't want to disrupt that by inviting you into a smaller apartment. I'd have to work a job that wouldn't require me to be gone for long periods of time. I'd go to all the parent/teacher meetings at your school and I'd make up for all the time we lost back in Kyoto. I've been a crappy father, but you understand why I had to leave, don't you?" 

"I do now...". 

"Good. Now, it is totally your decision as to whether you want to live with me, or stay here where you seem most comfortable".

And she was comfortable. Moreso, she was happy living with a bunch of idiots daily, but the fact remained that Umibouzu was still her father. A father who wanted to make things right with his daughter. No one said it would be easy, even this decision between families, so all Kagura could say was... 

"I'll think about it--if you give Kamui a chance to live with us once he's outta prison. And no drama". 

"Ah-...Ahh...". You could see the protest springing to life in his eyes, as soon as he opened his mouth. But Kagura sincerity got through to him a little. He crossed his arms, leaning back against the sofa in a quiet tantrum. "I'll think about it". He muttered. 

Kagura gladly smiled up at her father. He might have said no right away, but at least he chose to think it over. He sneaked in a smile, too--the first in years, and it reassured Kagura that her old family was still there, hidden away behind the past, as ironic as that may have sounded. If only Kamui could somehow better himself, but considering the inevitable news coming his way, he wasn't going to be off to a good start. 

A peaceful moment like this ended when the front door creaked open. Whoever opened it was slow and tired, but Kagura was energetic and impatient when she knew whomexactly arrived. Her head spun around, watching Hijikata enter the apartment in and exhausted state, loosening his tie, dropping his keys on the table right next to the door, for convenience of course. Taking his shoes of was only half the battle towards relaxation and rest. But that fact slipped away from Kagura mind when hopping off the couch to ask the all-important question face-to-face. 

"May-...Hijikata-san, what happened? Did you...?" 

The words struggled to come out, seeing how tired he was up close. Yet, her reassurance still came to her when he smiled and suddenly knelt down before Kagura in earnesty. He held her arms gently with a proud, albeit baggy, look in his eyes. 

"I, er...I need to thank you, China Girl. You did a really good thing for us today, and I honestly can't be grateful enough. Listen, this is the one time I'm ever gonna kneel in front of you so savour it. You did well, and I'm proud of you, as a friend". 

His conviction was perfectly solid, and it brought a gentle smile to Kagura's face. He poked her chin up, as to say "keep your head up". The efforts she went to were rewarding. Calling her father back really was the right thing to do. And she would have to keep telling herself that. 

"...Where's Gintoki?" Hijikata asked, looking around the apartment with no sign of him except an open laptop on his desk and a finished cup of tea next to it. 

"Putting away laundry upstairs, in his bedroom". 

"Okay, thanks. I'll talk to you later, China Girl". 

"Sure...". 

Hijikata painfully stood up from the floor, heading straight for Gintiki within his chambers, folding clothing, feeling anything but worry about Hijikata's big job as the belief was more over-whelming.

Once upstairs, opening the bedroom door, a dimly lit room lay before Hijikata, as did the man he was looking for. Folding clothes, putting them in piles that weren't as neat as they should have been, Gintoki was quite distracted. But oh he heard the door open and shut with a quiet click, however remaining still with a smile on his face meant for welcoming Hijikata back. 

"So-...!" 

Hijikata's arms wrapped around Gintoki's stomch, and his chest pressed against his back. Someone needed a cuddlin'. Gintoki still smiled, proceeding on with his question; a good feeling settling in his stomach and mind. 

"So, how'd it go?" He continued. 

"...We did it". Hijikata murmured, kissing the broad shoulder that lay under his chin. "Gintoki, We...Hah, we actually did it...".

"Haha, easy there. You're getting pretty cuddly, huh?" 

"I...I'm just...". His grip loosened, allowing Gintoki to turn around and face Hijikata. He was smiling. Something Gintoki, or anyone, enjoyed seeing on the Demonic Vice-Chief. Around Gintoki he could melt into this...This man who could let his pride and image go for one relieved and content smile. 

"I'm tired". He muttered, resting his forehead to Gintoki's, softly inahling his comforting scent. "But I'm satisfied. For once it really feels like we've made a lasting difference in this city. I haven't felt this accomplished it quite a while. I take pride in my work and my duties as a cop, but satisfaction like this...Not many of us get to feel it. And I'm so, so glad I get to come back here and...talk. To put my mind at ease and talk to the people I care about--about anything at all. So...Can we? Can we...For a little while?" 

His exhaustion was pulling him into Gintoki's arms. Hijikata's hands relaxed with Gintoki's shoulders, and his heartbeat calmed down under Gintoki's endearing gaze. Pushing back Hijikata's bangs, those fingers brushed across smooth, freezing cold skin, touched by warm lips. 

"We can talk as long as you want. I'm all ears...". 

The relief washed over Hijikata as he broke out in goosepimples over his arms. He slid his fingers through Gintoki's hair, returning his kiss subtly. And now, finally, he could relax, take it easy, lie beside Gintoki and talk all night about anything. Again, duty called the following morning but for a few hours it could slip to the background of his memory while he was warming up to the small victory made that day. There was going to be paperwork, court orders, so on and so forth, but...Not right now. Not during this moment. Nothing...Absolutrly nothing could ruin it. 

... 

... 

Kagura was to make her way to the hospital, alone. She told Okita over text messages that she wanted to be alone this time around, and he didn't argue. He answered with a simple, no caps, "I get it, go ahead" and that was the end of it. Being alone raised her anxiety, but she couldn't have someone sitting in the comfty armchair, staring at the scene when Kagura came to her brother about what happened and what she had to do. Daylight was already fading up yonder, where the sun was setting slowly under the skyline. Glare poured through the hospital's big windows, radiating against clear tile. And when nearing the usual room, she prepared for the worst. 

Opening up the door, walking into the room, an array of orange and blue lit up the sky beyond its windows and there was a glow against Kamui's skin. Upon first glance, Kagura couldn't tell whether his eyes held melancholy or if they were insouciant. When he looked away from the window, Kagura received her answer and was surprised by the lack of irritation on his face. He was looking at Kagura, like he had been doing the past few days. That said, he probably didn't know yet. She wanted to be honest with him and- 

"I saw it on the news already, so wipe that guilty look of your face, okay, sis'?" 

She did, feeling more astonished than two seconds prior. So he did know. Then why did he appear so indifferent. Scrunching up his face, Kamui picked himself up, shifted closer to the far edge of the bed before settling back down, painfully. He weakly patted the spot beside him, although there wasn't much room. 

"Sit...". He commanded, waiting for Kagura to take the offer. "Sit down". He repeated, more sternly this time. She would have responded the first time, but the surprise was over-whelming. 

Hurrying to his side, Kagura seated herself on the small space of the bed, scootching in closely to Kamui so that she wouldn't fall from the matress and onto the floor. 

"...So you know it was me who...Y'know...". 

"What, that you called the baldy and had my gang arrested? I had a feeling. Ever since I brought up that guy's involvement with Housen, I had a feeling you'd go this far. Tch, I feel stupid...". 

"Don't say that...". 

"...". Kamui rolled his eyes, sighing, staring back out of the window. No anger whatsoever, only emptiness. "You did it for my sakes, right?" 

"Of course I-...did it for your sake. Housen, and his gang were bad people, persuading you into stupid things like crime and-". 

"Sis', I do have a brain that can make decisions, y'know. I joined Housen's gang of my own volition". 

"But why?" What started off as being surprisingly calm, the tension begsn to rise, as well as Kagura's voice. "So you could be strong? Is that all it was?"

He hesitated, taking the time to...To what? Think of a reason that wasn't as petty as "to become the strongest"? He didn't answer, he kept quiet until Kagura changed subjects and moved on. The gang was off to prison, as was Kamui. End of story... 

"So you're not pissed at me? Or are you really good at hiding it?" 

"No, believe it or not. I don't know what to do now, that's all. It was fun for a while, raising hell, terrorising people, being the most infamous gang in Tokyo. Hm, kinda funny when you think about it: most infamous gang in Tokyo, taken down by the leader's little sister. They should put that in the newspapers". 

"...Kamui, I...When you get out of prison, why don't you come back? Papi says he wants to live in Tokyo permanently, and he invited me to stay with him. We want-...We want you to-". 

"No...". Of course he understood where this was going, and...His reaction made his opinion perfectly clear. 

"Why not? We could be a family again, and Papi's gonna try and accept you--if you accept him as family, too". 

"You know I despise that bastard more than anyone, don't you, sis'?" 

"Get over yourself! Can't you move on already?!" 

"From what?! The fact that he's the reason our mother-...That she...". 

"Don't pin it on him! You left too! You ran away as well, but at least Papi was working, and provided for us! Sure he was gone for weeks at a time, but we managed. We were fine until you decided to leave too!" 

Out of anger, pure, honest anger, Kagura balled up her fist and smacked Kamui's good arm with as much force as she could put into it. It wasn't much, but the conviction to hurt him was there. 

"It's no one's fault that Mami died! But you still got pissed off at Papi and attacked him for no good reason! You're the one who ran away! You always run away! You...You stupid, crybaby big brother!"

Her voice exceeded more than it needed to, but her heart was pouring with all sorts of emotions that she kept locked up inside since Kamui first arrived at this hospital. Yet she didn't shed a single tear. About his tendancies to run away...She wasn't totally wrong. Even now, he was thinking of leaving this hospital before he was supposed to be pardoned, knowing he couldn't spout another word to Kagura--especially about escaping. They'd definitely handcuff him to the bed if he so much as moved an inch. But with his idea of escape, and Kagura's words...The truth stared him right the face and sneered mockingly, making him feel cowardly. It had been such a long time since anyone truely got to Kamui, to which he would respond with violence. But not to Kagura. Seeing her slump down, burying her face in her knees... 

"I only wanted us to be a family again...Why do you have to be so stubborn, you moron?" 

Kamui reached out, petting Kagura's hair. It was the only comfort he could awkwardly offer her. He would only show this expression of kindness to her, perhaps just this once and never again, refusing to say anything. He couldn't go to prison, he knew that. But he couldn't call himself Kagura's big brother either as he proudly strolled through prison gates. There was no real escape...Not from anything in his past or the future. So what could he do but pretend to smile and hold his head high like the sadistic, evil son of a bitch he was meant to be? Give in? If you think about it...That's what got Kamui into this mess...By letting everything go out of anger and frustration... 

... 

Three Years Ago... 

... 

Silence was necessary. It's what kept everyone's head on straight. Umibouzu had come back for a month. For the first time, he let go of work for his family and stayed by his wife's side the whole time as she grew weaker. Nothing could be done. 

The silence was necessary, but only to an extent as it had a way of becoming unbearable. Someone had to say something. And, much to Kamui's greatest displeasure, it was Umibouzu who chose to speak. 

"Listen, kids...I...I know this is hard--it's so heart-breaking for me and I...I want to try and make things better for us. I quit my job, and I'll look for one here in Kyoto. We'll support eachother". 

Kagura was quiet, but agreed. She nodded, saying nothing but a few incoherent mutters. She wasn't crying. This whole time she had not cried, and it was worth wondering if they had all dried up by now in regards to recent events; their fatuer leaving so many times for work; Kamui suddenly leaving; and having to look after Kouka for a whole year by herself was...She had cried enough, and she couldn't do it anymore, not even for this. And that, in itself, was painful to realise. 

Kamui was frustrated. He was so frustrated to hear him go on like everything was going to be okay. He couldn't stand it when thinking that it was Umibouzu's fault; that he was the very reason that Kouka passed away. And he couldn't keep his anger to himself. He wanted to point the finger and, of course, he was going to point it at his own father. 

"The hell are you saying?" He muttered under his breath to effectively gain her attention. "You're so full of crap...". 

"Hey, watch that attitude you-". 

"No! Don't say that this was "heart-breaking" for you. If you were in pain, like us, you would have stayed!" 

"What are you talking about? I worked to pay for a doctor! I wanted your mother to get better! You're the one who should have stayed and supported her and your sister? But, no, you ran off with a-...A gang, of all things!" 

"Mom needed you! She was unhappy because you were gone for so long!" 

"K-Kamui, Papi, stop!" This was when Kagura stepped in. Already, they were raising their voices, yelling at eachother like it would change something. It wouldn't, of course. Yet they still yelled and threw blame like children. 

"And you only made it worse, you brat!' 

"Don't call me a brat...". This was sounded more and more petty, even right after... 

"Stop it! Just stop it!" 

Tensions had risen, and the only one capable of breaking through to them was Kagura. Her hands slammed down onto the table, and her feet brought her up off the ground. Both men glanced at her, with Umibouzu feeling foolish for acting so petty when his wife had just passed away. He apologised for it, and settled down. Kamui, on the other hand, held onto his anger like luggage. He also stood from the floor, storming off to the kitchen with no context. And it seemed clear to the rest of the household that something had possed him; anger, that is. 

He cared deeply for his mother, as any child would. He wanted her to leave Umibouzu with the chance to be happy right in front of her. With that running around his head, Kamui blamed himself too for her death...For making her worry every day, for adding on the stress due to his exploration outside of the house and into a group of thugs. She didn't know about it, but his tendancy to leave for long periods of time must have upset her greatly, thus he blamed himself. But he chose to blame Umibouzu the most for never being around when Kouka needed him the most. And that...That was what possed him to rummage through a set of drawers in the kitchen, only to unconsciously pull out a knife. Over-dramatic, yes. But he pushed on, walking out of the kitchen with the weapon brandished. Upon seeing this...Umibouzu and Kagura panicked. 

"Kamui...". Umibouzu muttered, standing up, pulling Kagura to her feet in case he had to push her out of harm's way, a good distance from the approuching conflict. "Kamui, put the knife down. What the hell do you think you're doing? Are you insane, boy?" 

"It's you're fault...It's all you're fault that she's gone because you had to disappear and abandon your responsibilities. You make me sick...". 

Kamui made himself feel sick, shortly realising how he was no different when it came to running away from his responsibilities. But, like a child, he decided to take it out on someone else. And like a psychopath, he was intending to use violence to get that message across. 

"Put the knife down! Now! You have no idea what you're doing!"

"Why the hell didn't you leave forever?! Then Mom wouldn't have to keep waiting for you to come home! It's you're fault! So-...So disappear forever, dammit!" 

"Kamui, no!" 

Kagura screamed as soon as Kamui charged forward, with all sorts of mixed up emotions running through his thick skull. Looking back on it, he was an idiot. He failed to protect whatever was left of his family when he still had them. As much as he realised this, though, there was no way for things to change. His life had already come so far, and this included the couple years he spent in juvy where he put on a brave face and fought with other boys his age; putting himself at risk of adding onto his sentence. This was how their family officially fell apart, and even when Kagura tried to put it back together, Kamui was stubborn enough to push her away and argue back. Right about now, he stopped licking his wounds and wanted to...face his problem's head-on. 

... 

The sky was pitch black by now, and all was quiet in this lonely room. The space where Kagura sat was still open. Too painful to move...The first time Kagura had really yelled at him, and he was shown to be the smaller person. Forgetting that his whole gang was under arrest and under investigation for previous crimes, Kamui was more irritated by the fact that Kagura stood up to him while also showing her sincerity in having him back as a brother. But he knew he couldn't stay here, cooped up like an animal inside a cage, only to await a larger enclosure. 

For the longest time, since Kagura left his room, all was quiet and dull. Not a sound resonated from the outside hallway...Not until Kamui had just settled, prepared to close his eyes and fall asleep. The shadow that lay in front of the door, on the other side of the room, was of course the cop keeping watch for visitors such as Kagura, and or intruders. His voice could be heard, and his figure shifted. Kamui couldn't exactly hear anything, but he was curious. Nurses didn't normally visit this time of night unless there was an emergency. He knew that much by now. But this...His hands went numb as the blood stopped rushing, and the guard stepped away from his post, as seen through an obscure view of the window. There was more noise, like that of a struggle, followed by a thud and a groan of...pain? Defeat? 

If there was danger coming Kamui's way, he was not prepared for it; no weapon, no ability to get up without some assistance. He was trapped...All he could do was wait and watch another figure, dark as night, approuch the door, jimmy the door handle and then...Then it opened, and a face peered through. 

"...!" 

"Haa...There you are, stupid little rabbit". 

"Abuto...?!" 

Out of everyone who could have come after Kamui, it was Abuto. He half expected Osamu to come through that door with a knife, but no. Only Abuto. He eas alone, looking over his shoulder before entering the room. 

"Listen, we have to go, right now". 

"How did you even know I was here?" 

"It's on the news, dumbass. They were playing the report on a T.V in a local sushi place, and I just happened to see your ugly mug show up on it. Now c'mon. I got in through the fire exit and, guess what, that's how we're getting out". 

"I'm impressed, Abuto. Took you long enough to get here". 

"Yeah, yeah. Now hurry up. I'm surprised Osamu hasn't come after you yet, but lucky for us he hasn't watched the news yet. Can you get up, kiddo?" 

"Don't call me "kiddo". I can get up on my own". Like hell he could. "Now what's this about Osamu? He's still after me?" 

Kamui shifted himself to the edge of the bed, bearing with the pain as it came and went. Somehow he managed to stand to his feet with a little support from a nearby end table, knowing that Abuto was watching him. Yes, his ribs were still broken. And, yes, his arm was still in a sling. But he didn't want it to faze him if he could leave this hospital. 

"Yeah. Apparently he thinks you sold out the gang to the cops. Everyone got arrested except for me, Osamu and a few lucky others". 

"Dammit...I can't believe that bastard got away". 

"Kamui...?" 

"...He did this to me. I can't let him off the hook, now, can I?" 

"What're ya gonna do like that? You can barely move, so how can you get pay-back on Osamu?" 

"Don't underestimate me, Abuto. I'll manage. Now, lead the way. I have some business I need to take care of". 

"Sure. Just gotta...Pull this cop into the room before anyone finds him". 

"Then you do that, and I'll keep watch". 

"Don't look so smug. I'm going...".

Kamui was getting out after all, but among this empty feeling something heavy was weighing him down. He couldn't quite describe it. Kagura would be disappointed, angry, even saddened that her brother would rather run away than-...Damn, he really was running away. Hearing it in his own head was annoying and he couldn't get rid of it. He couldn't get rid of this image...The image of Kagura's face when she found out that he got away. But by doing this, perhaps he would be...getting rid of his family for good. Did he...Did Kamui really want that? He had convinced himself that he did, that it was all for the best but...To be honest, he... 

... 

Okita was rarely ever out this late, but the time called for it. No college in the morning meant nothing to do all day. So he volunteered to watch Kamui on a night shift...Without permission from Hijikata. He knew the Demonic Vice-Chief would say no, so why not ask the guy on guard and pretend that he had permission. Not that the guy on watch was stupid enough to agree, but it was worth a shot. Maybe it'd give him a chance to have more quality time with Kamui - a heart-to-heart chat. No...Not gonna happen. 

He lost his train of thought, sighing out frosted vapour. He remembered looking over Kamui's file back at the station, quite a few times for particular details, and it had raised a few questions about his involvement with Housen's gang. The file did briefly mentioned an attack from his gang on Kamui and Kagura, so what was his motivation to join them afterwards? He certainly held no spite against his sister, being as protective as he was about a day ago. So what was going through his head? Why did he do all of this? It didn't make any sense at all...Could Okita ecen come to ask these questions? Probably... 

And then, out of the blue, while thinking this over, concentrating, Okita had accidentally come to the hospital at the right time. Someone was walking from the back fire exit, smirking as if triumphant in his daring escape from prison. Okita sighed again, pulling out his cell phone. He hated to do this...again, but he didn't have much choice in the matter. Not like he carried his handcuffs and badge everywhere, unlike a certain someone. He began texting because it was quicker and Hijikata would get the message eventually. 

[Oi, Hijikata-san, get your ass over to the Takanawa Hospital. Kamui's escaping with some guy with a stubble on his face. You have the cuffs and car, so hurr, bastard]. Send. 

Okita stuffed his phone back in his pocket, preparing to act as a distraction before the cops did eventually arrive. Knowing Hijikata he would have his cell phone on, unless he was with Gintoki. This was during his shift, so it was unlikely that he'd miss and ignore such an important message.

"The hell do you think you're going?" Okita came forth confidentally as Kamui walked out of the shadows with his...friend behind him, standing taller-clearly. 

Kamui was astonished at first but still put on a dear old smile for Okita mockingly. 

"Well, if it isn't Okita-san. Good to see you again". 

"Cut the crap, Kamui. C'mon, get your ass back inside of that hospital before I-". 

The man standing behind Kamui then stepped forward, standing tall above them both as Okita could now clearly see. He figured he could take on a big guy like this, but Hijikata always tried to stress caution unto those he lectured day in and day out. No surprise that it drilled it's way into Okita's head, too. 

"Abuto, it's alright. He's not going to do anything, if he's smart enough". 

"How do you know I won't?" Okita was cautious, but being provoked as such peaked his usual cockiness. He took a step forward, even without weaponary or...anything to defend himself for that matter. He wasn't worried about Kamui, in his state, but this Abuto character was worth keeping an eye on. 

"I know you won't. You don't have anything to defend yourself against someone like Abuto". 

"Uck, don't get me involved in your silly brawls, rabbit". 

Seemed clear both sides couldn't do a damn thing. A stalemate? 

"Fine...Okita-san, mind letting me through? I have some business to take care of". 

"Did you really think that would work?" 

Kamui shrugged his good shoulder, still smirking. 

"Was worth a shot. Listen, I honestly have no quarrels with you. I actually see myself in you, quite a bit". 

"Tch, really? Oh yeah, 'cause we both apparently have a tendancy to abandon our siblings and act like a coward. Sure". 

"What do you mean?" 

"...I had a big sister. She was...kind and thoughtful and even after our parents died she stuck by me every single day". 

"And...?" 

His attitude would have pissed Okita off...If it wasn't so fake. There was a very slight tremor in his voice, but he remained still and kept his eyes on Okita, trying to convince himself that these words were a huge waste of his time. 

"I did the same for her when she got sick. It's what siblings do, Kamui. They look out for eachother, and protect eachother when times are at their shittiest...The China-...Kagura's trying to protect you. She wants you to have a better life. Yeah, prison's not a great start, but don't you see that it's for the best? If you give a damn about her, you'll turn back and stay in that hospital and serve your punishment like a man". 

"Where the hell did this attitude come from?' 

"My big sister, I guess. If you run away from this, you're nothing more than a coward. And I wouldn't be surprised if Kagura lost all respect for you. But, y'know what, she won't. She's stubborn, honestly. No matter what, she'll still call you her brother and no one can convince her otherwise. If you wanna leave...Go ahead. I don't have cuffs, or a squad behind me. Who am I to stop you adding on to your sentence?"

Okita didn't move, but Kamui could see how he let his guard down on purpose. Kamui was hesitant of course, and irritated. Being named a coward again...It irritated him beyond belief, made him want to hold his head high and walk on as if he never heard it. But it followed him. It followed him as he effortlessly walked past Okita and onto the street. It wasn't just that, however. The rest of what Okita said wasn't too far behind. This feeling...Had been a long time since his heart felt so heavy. And it ached. And...And Abuto took notice of this; puzzled at first, but then he gradually found understanding in his leader's facial expression and lack of conversation. 

... 

With a snap of his cheap cell phone, Abuto let out a sigh, joining Kamui within the darker regions in the random alleyway, fairly distant from the hospital. Kamui was seated, reserving his strength, and ignoring the dull throbbing in his ribcage with normal breaths. If they were any more hollow, he'd only hurt himself more.

"That's that. I called Osamu and he's on his way to beat the shit out of you again". 

"Shut it, Abuto, or I'll beat the shit out of you instead". 

"I'm serious. A-...Are you really gonna fight him in this condition? You'll probably end up dead this time around". 

"I'll be perfectly fine, thank you very much. I can't let him get away. Like I said: I have business to take care of". 

"Seems kinda dull though. I mean, we have to call him and get him over here instead of, I dunno, having you appear dramatically to kick his ass, or something". 

"Do you realise how big this city is? Even if he expects a fight, I"m not gonna go chasing after him. I mean, where do you think he could go? The tenements? The slums? The goddamn warehouse, Abuto?"

"Fine, fine, I get it. Jesus...". 

Kamui was obviously hanging around elsewhere in head in silence, waiting patiently for Osamu to arrive. He wasn't sure how he'd fair in another unfair fight, but at least this time it would be a fight instead of an ambush...Perhaps. Abuto could see it, and honestly didn't know what to think of this new expression of...What the hell was it? Guilt? No, not Kamui. Not this blood-sucker. Impossible. And guilty about what? He thought back to what the baby-faced kid said earlier, and it was slowly dawning on Abuto. 

"So, I bet you were lonely sitting in that hospital bed". 

"Not really". Kamui replied, acting casually when needed to speak. "Sis' visited a few times. In fact, she was the one who found me when Osamu beat me up. She had the ambulance called, and the rest is history". 

"Oh, right, the other little rabbit. I remember her...She really cared about you, as far as I could see". 

"Mm...". 

"She still cares about you now, huh?" 

"Yeah...". 

Gradually...Gradually Abuto could see the faint flickers of emotions run through Kamui's features, and he wished to push on and see what would happen. 

"I'm bettin' you care for her the same as you did way back when". 

"...". No response. No eye-contact. 

"Kamui, that day when Housen's thugs attacked you and your little sister, you would obviously risk your life for her. But the fact that you then joined his gang...Seems strange to me". 

"What's your point?" 

"You wanted to grow stronger, right? Was it, by chance, to protect your sis' and...Your Mom?" 

"...". 

"And I'm guessing that...Becoming a gang leader, commiting crimes, was all just one big escape for you after you attacked your Dad, frightened your little sister and went to juvy for the first time. You just...went with the flow, right?" 

Abuto wanted to consider his hypothesis as nothing more than that. That he was making it all up as he went along, but Kamui's silence was an eye-opener, and he could see something other than indifference break through the cracks. It wasn't tears or sadness, just acceptence and guilt. That was all. 

"You're lucky, Kamui. So damn lucky to have such a caring little sister. I'm jealous, actually".

"Yeah right...". 

"Nope, it's true. It's impressive how caring and protective she is. It's surprising how she lacks disappointment. And joining a gang to gain strength in both body and will...Definitely the wrong choice, hah, comin' from me. She's sticking by you through so much, so...Maybe you should have stuck by her too instead of wandering off with Housen and his goons. Maybe things would be better. Just sayin'...". 

Not that it was any of Abuto's business, but he made his points. He spoke his mind and, believe it or not, he did open Kamui's mind to it. If he hadn't joined Housen's gang, his mother would still have passed away, but...He could have stayed. He could have supported their small family as per usual and try to move on, no matter how long it would take. If Umibouzu continued to leave their little home for work, Kamui could have been there for Kagura. Maybe she wouldn't have run away to Tokyo and met all of those people who she now calls family. Who she calls family... 

Kamui, struggling, stood to his feet, using the wall as leverage. His ribs axhed and his shoulder was painfully stiff, but it didn't stop him from standing tall. Or as tall as he could manage in his condition anyway. 

"Abuto, you're free to leave. I can manage on my own". 

"Are you crazy? Osamu'll eat you alive". 

"No he won't. Even if I do lose again, at least I would have gone down fighting. We aren't too far away from the hospital, so if I just-". 

"Kamui! Where the hell are you?!"

As expected, that irritating, familiar voice broke through Kamui's sentence and approuched. His voice had echoed within an empty street, which was probably a stupid idea since they heard police car sirens mere minutes ago. Kamui took the initiative and walked outmof the alleyway, vulnerable as he stepped into the open street. Osamu spotted him from the other side of the road, sneering when seeing Kamui in his disquieting condition of bruises, and a sling for his defective arm. 

"Look at you, standing up on your own". Osamu mocked him, but did not get a reaction. "I thought we had broken your legs, but I guess not". 

"It was dark and you're goons hit like apes, with no aim or thought. So, yeah, I'm clearly still standing". 

"So, what, you wanna fight for real this time? Gladly. Since you sold us all out to the cops you little-". 

"I did no such thing. Why would I tell the cops about my own hide-out? It's not like it would reduce my sentence or anything". 

"Well, whatever. I'm still gonna kick your ass again whether you're lying or not. And this time you'll stay down for good".

"Could you keep your little gang out of this fight? It's just between you and me, Osamu. No unfair advantages". 

"Not like I need 'em, since you only have one arm to fight with. This should be easy". 

Osamu put up his fists, readying himself already as Kamui stood there, unprepared. With a brief pause, Kamui then decided not to look weak in front of this lowlife. He made the decision to unclip his sling and allow it to fall to the ground, leaving his arm unprotected, aching as he stretched it and rolled his shoulder painfully. It cracked and popped, leaving his arm, right up to his fingers, feeling numb with pain. Even so, he put up both fists.

"Are you fuckin' kidding me?" 

Osamu's confidence and mocking would surely be his downfall. However Kamui's dislocated shoulder and pride would most likely knock him to the ground as well. With a wide grin stretching across his lips, he made the first approuch towards Kamui eagerly without even imagining what it would be like to fail right now, and to a gyy with at least two physical disadvantages. Kamui was going to make his approuch, ready a counter-attack, go down with a fight. Yes, he had prepared for those things, as did Osamui. But what Osamu didn't expect from Kamui (a huge mistake on his part) was that he would be charged in the middle of the street like Kamui did in fact have strength in both arms, that his dislocated shoulder was a charade. News flash to Kamui: it wasn't. 

As soon as Kamui dashed in Osamu's direction with his fists at the ready, it took him a split second to realise that hiding his injury was the best course of action if he didn't want to appear weak. His right hand was his strongest, but in this case that wasn't an option. No matter how alienated it was, Kamui grabbed the first opportu ity to strike with his left, clenched up fist. He, too, grinned and put aside the rush of throbbing pain that ran around his ribs, legs and shoulders. He was clenching his teeth the whole time, watching Osamu's face as he tried to process the events going on right before his eyes. Kamui didn't give him any time to counter-attack. Kamui threw his fist, busting it against Osamu's cheek, crushing it, feeling the strength of his teeth loosen in his mouth upon impact. And it was so damn satisfying for Kamui to see such a stupid look on his face as he collapsed to the ground. Blood and spit erupted from between his teeth and gums, splattering the concrete below; his landing pad.

As if to mock him back, Kamui smiled above Osamu, cracking his knuckles (as well as his shoulder, doing so as subtly as possible). He twisted any pain he felt into encouragement to get this fight over with. Already he could hear the distant moaning of police sirens. This had to end. And Kamui had to win.

"See, Osamu? This is a fair fight, and look who's already winning". 

"You little shit! What's the point of this, anyway?!" Kamui did allow Osamu to stand to his feet, albeit slowly due to the shock of impact still running through him like a defective electrical current. "The gang's already gone, so why fight me?" 

"Are you a moron? You're only just asking these questions? It's pay-back, of course. You think I'd let you get away with ambushing me and stealing my gang? Of course not. An eye for and eye, my friend - so take it like a man". 

Osamu gritted his teeth while Kamui continued to carelessly smile. The act he was keeping up was very convincing so it seemed clear that Osamu wasn't smart enough to see that our dear Kamui was biting his tongue through the throbbing pain in and around his shoulder. The broken ribs residing against the inner walls of his chest were piercing and uncomfortable. Yet he stood tall, smiling, cracking his fists when preparing for the next move.

"Hah, I underestimated you. Guess I won't go so easy on you this time, eh, squirt?" Osamu spat out more blood. He grinned, holding up his fists once more. "Bring it!"

"Hm? Oh, I'm done fighting". 

"...Eh?" 

Wait, wha-... 

"I'm done. I think a punch was enough on my end". 

"What...?!" 

Both sides of the spectrum were astonished and stuck in a loop of confusion as Kamui smiled and uttered those words effortlessly. It didn't appear to be cowardice, he was simply...done. 

"Wha-...Are you kidding me, you brat?! You bring me all the way out here just to punch me once?! You a fuckin' wuss or something?!" 

"Didn't your mother ever tell you that violence isn't the sollution?" 

"The hell is wrong with this kid?!" 

"Oi, Kamui, what are you doing? He's gonna kick your ass if you don't fight. Didn't you say this was pay-back?" Even Abuto had no clue what was going through this kid's head, and thus he stepped in. 

"Abuto, I said you should get out of here. And this is pay-back, if the timing's right". 

"What are you-...". 

"You're a fucking weakling Kamui! I'm gonna kill you this time! Kill you for good you little-...!"

There was moaning; distant; alerting; and attached to the roof of a police car. All took notice of it's presence and panicked. All except Kamui who smiled and faced the red and blue lights with this unusual aura of acceptence. 

"See, Osamu? Pay-back". 

"Ah! You-...You fucker! C'mon, let's get the fuck outta here!"

Osamu was ready to run, already making a dash in the other direction when a swift kick swept across his ankles. He was fhe one brought to his knees, and then his face - against hard concrete. His back was pressed into the ground, turning his head to see Kamui stand above him with his foot digging into him and his smile digging into his nerves. 

"Ah-ah-ah~. If I can't run away like a coward, then neither can you, Osamu. Like I said: take it like a man". 

"What?! Are you insane?! Get the fuck off of me!" 

"Oi, Kamui!" Through a megaphone, a voice sounded and brought Kamui's attention to the police car, and the van parking behind it. "You're not running?" 

The one to call out to Kamui, acting calm and collected, was the Vice-Chief of police. He had definitely picked up Okita's message and went on with a hunt that took a lot less effort than capturing an entire gang. 

"Nope...!" Kamui gleefully replied. "I'm no coward-...Hijikata-san, was it?" 

"That's Vice-Chief to you!" 

"I'm no coward. Plus, you missed a few insects when you were clearing out my home. I assume you want these locked up just as much as you want me behind bars". 

Hijikata was as astonished as the rest of them, but refrained from showing it. Instead, he signaled cops to arrest the leftover Yato members, crowded around this one area. Hijikata went ahead to take custody of Kamui himself, readying his handcuffs. Osamu was dragged up from the ground, panicking and cursing Kamui's name as he was pulled towards a polkce car. Kamui was still, he was smiling, and he was accepting his punishment as a sudden change. 

"Were you faking it? You're dislocated shoulder?" Hijikta asked, tightening up Kamui's cuffs. "Looks perfectly fine to me". 

"Vice-Chief Hijikata-san, you saw the x-ray. My shoulder's still dislocated, but I couldn't afford to look weak, now could I?" 

"And this surrender is, what, a statement to that?" 

"No...More a favour to my little sister. After all, she brought me more bentos and snacks than I've eaten for...three years, I'd say". 

"...I see. Well, we can discuss it from your holding cell, now can't we? Or...The infirmary, I guess".

Kamui was escorted to the police van. He looked to where Abuto was standing, expecting the man to be long gone. He wasn't. Instead he, too, made no effort to resist arrest. His eyes met with Kamui's and a smile appeared. Guess prison wouldn't be so lonely with that guy around, if they were lucky enough to be sent to the exact same institution. What a fun ride this would be. But, in the moment, Kamui only thought about the look on Kagura's face and what had changed in past few hours since picturing her disappointment. Didn't take too long to confirm how she would feel about this. 

... 

One Day Later... 

... 

In a very small section of one big room, seperated by concrete and a protective pane, Kagura entered with Okita, of all people, by her side to continue the support. On the other side there sat Kamui, still covered in faded bruises with a sling around his arm. He was satisfied to see Kagura walk through that door, even if Okita was standing behind her. She had been smiling the whole time - he could tell, and it brought them both some sort of relief and joy. Two seats were prepared for the guests, and through the holes of the pane, they spoke.

"...Hey, Big Bro...". 

"Hey, sis'...". 

...albeit awkwardly. 

"How're you feeling?" Felt like the hospital visits all over again. 

"Fine, I suppose. I mean, I'm in a tiny holding cell until the court date, but other than that it's...It's good. Food's shitty, though". 

"Haha...Kamui, I...I'm so proud of you. You know that, right? I, I mean, you're going to prison - that's not something to be proud of, but...I'm proud of you for not running away, and for facing your problems head-on".

"That's what Mom wanted me to do...". 

The honesty was clear on his face this time, and it reassured Kagura that her real brother was right in front of her; the one who protected her despite his size and other weaknesses. Yeah, he probably wouldn't have completely changed in a night, but this was a huge start. 

"Y'know, when you get out, you can still live with us. Papi's already found a place where we can all stay, and he said the move could happen by New Year's. He's giving you a chance Kamui, and I don't...I don't want things to-". 

"Hey, sis', as long as he behaves then, sure, nothing will get screwed up or destroyed. Although I'm not fond of the guy, I could get used to him for you". 

"I should be saying the same about you; that you should behave". 

"Y-yeah...I'll try, okay?" 

When he dropped that facade of indifference, out came the same boy from about a decade ago. Nostalgia...That's what it felt like. And relief... 

"I dunno what else to say other than...I'll come visit you in-...In prison. I know Gin-san will come with me. We can talk for as long as they'll allow it and I'll remind you not to get into any prison fights, aru". 

"You're still adding "aru" onto the end of your sentences?" 

"Hey, man, you can't convince her not to. It's like a quirk". After being silent this whole time, Okita decided to jump in unnanounced. Not that the sibling's minded (although you'd think twice about Kamui). Guess the sadist couldn't stand the silence. 

"Kamui, like I said, I'll visit it whenever I can. I only need to know what prison you'll be going to and when visiting hours occur, right?" 

"You're talking about this as if it's normal". 

"Well it's not, but...I can't think badly of you, Kamui. It's not like the police had to drag you here in the end; you volunteered to get arrest and I'm so proud of you for that. I'm sure, deep down, Papi is too. He won't say it, though". 

"I'm not surprised. However I appreaciate it from you, sis'. Means a lot to know that my little sister still wants to call me "big brother", heh". 

"...". 

"You are my little sister, Kagura. I shoulda...I guess I shoulda been there when you needed me. I ran away, had fun...I guess I'm done with all that, for good. Thanks to you...Ah, including the fact that you called an ambulance and had me arrested. I owe ya for that too, kiddo". 

Good to see he was having a more humorous attitude towards the situation. He did keep something from his somewhat new persona of gang leader and former big brother. Now it was...former gang leader, and official big brother with a sense of humor. A weird sense of humor... 

"In all serious, I'm kinda glad this happened. You've been a much better sister to me than I've been a brother to you and...I wanna make up for that". 

"...Oh, Kamui...". 

They would never allow hugs, having this concrete wall blocking the way. So they resorted to the next best thing. Kagura slid her delicate fingers through the holes in the pane between them. Her slender fingers could definitely fit through, at least it was enough for Kamui to grasp them. Hijikata, standing behind Kagura and Okita on guard, did nothing about this. He looked away, hiding a smile that Okita could sense and see in his mind's eye as the siblings shared this long-awaited moment. They were bonding, finally.

"Listen, call me when you're sentence is final. I'm pretty sure the Mayora can assist". To which the "mayora" rolled his eyes, accepting his role as messenger boy for the sake of these rekindling siblings. "I'll see if I can bring you any more bentos or send you money for comminsary...Right?" She turned to Okita for this, receiving a nod to confirm that "yes", you can send money so he can survive on snacks and deodorant if need be. 

"Thanks, sis'. But you don't have to do that for me. I'll be fine. After all, I get to give Abuto hell for another...Another year, I'd say". 

"Kamui...". 

"C'mon. He's used to it, by now. I know we're in the big house, where loyalty and friendship are two totally different things, but it's Abuto. He's a big boy, and I know he'll stick by me...If we go to the same prison's, that is".

Good luck to Abuto... 

"...When's you're court date?" 

"A week. It's a week away. Remember, they arrested a lot of gang members before me, even if I am the leader". 

"Then I'll try and visit everyday until then. I wanna see you as much as possible before...Before you go". 

"Yeah. I am...Hah, I...It's been a while since I've said anything remotely sentimental, but I'm gonna miss you, Kagura". 

"I'll miss you, too, Kamui...I'll miss you a lot...". 

It felt like an early good-bye. Unfortunately that feeling sunk deeper when Kamui hesitantly let go of Kagura's hand. She retracted it, collecting both in her lap.

"I, er...I can't stick around here for two long since there are other visitors, but...I wanna see you again soon, sis'...". 

"I'll come by tomorrow. We can talk more then, okay?" 

"Yeah, 'course".

With a nod and some hesitation, Kagura stood to her feet. Okita shortly joined her, or tried to. As Okita stood up, thinking he had completed his job as "side-line supporter", Kamui suddenly called out to him. 

"Ah, Okita-san, mind if I speak to you alone? I won't keep you for too long". 

Okita could only imagine what this protective big brother was going to talk to him about now. He sighed, giving a hand gesture suggesting that this would only take two secomds. Kagura understood and waved good-bye to her brother. Hijikata escorted her out of the room, and through the station to be polite and to leave them alone to talk. Not that it would be totally confidential, what with cameras set up within the room. Okita sat back down, crossing his arms over the desk between them as he leaned in curiously. 

"What is it?" 

"I know this may sound like a broken record, but hear me out. I don't know what you're intentions are with my sister-". 

"Oh come on...". Okita threw himself back against his chair, knowing he should have expected this shit again. He had half a mind to stamd up and wali out. However, there was no need. 

"-But as long as you don't hurt her, it's frankly none of my business. So...I know you care for her as much as I do. Knowing that, I think it's only right that you...stand in for me while I'm gone". 

"What...?" 

"I understamd she has Sakata-san, the old baldly, but she also has you. I would appreciate it if you took care of her in my stead". 

"Dude, she's perfectly capable of taking caee of herself. I mean-...She threw me into an air hockey table once". 

"Wow...That's definitely my little sister". 

"Yeah...If it makes you feel better, though, then I'll do what I can to keep her outta trouble. Although, by meeting me, she's kinda walked into it". 

"I've noticed. Just keep her safe for me". 

"...Will do". 

These guys weren't going to fight after all, but considering the circumstances that was for the best. They both had a duty now as brother and friend of brother's little sister. Kagura could indeed look after herself, being the tough cookie that she was, but having Okita watching her back was somewjat reassuring. His personality didn't bother Kamui when knowing how caring this guy could be towards his loved ones, including Kagura. There was more trust there than a rivalry. 

With that settled, Okita also made his exit. 

... 

Kagura had waited outside of the starion for Okita. It embarrassed her to some extent and he would probably tease her for it, but was this really the right situation to start pulling that shit? Okita came out the main doors, stuffing his hands into his pockets. Kagura confronted him, bursting with curiosity. 

"So, what did he talk to you about?" She walked alongside Okita when he didn't exactly stop for her. 

"Nothin' really". 

"How could it be nothing if he wanted to talk alone, aru?" 

"He wanted me to take care of you, that's all". 

"What? I appreciate that, but I can take care of myself, aru". 

"That's what I said". 

"Really...?" 

"You seem surprised by that". 

Kagura turned her head in a sulk. Almost a sulk, actually. She had been acting this way towards Okita for a little while now, so... 

"Yeah, I didn't expect you to say something like that". 

"It's true, though. You're tougher than you look. This past week has proved that, if you think about it...I can respect that in you". 

"...Thanks".

"...Hey". Okita tapped her arm to gain her full attention. "Wanna...Get some ice-cream or something? My treat". 

This had been a tough week for her. But Kagura was brace through and through. In the end she did the right thing by calling her brother a coward. Now he could face his punishment like a man because of her. 

"Seriously? You're being really nice to me, and I dunno how to feel about it, aru". 

"Accept it, maybe? I'm tryin' to be nice. I'm always nice to the people I like. Why do you think Hijikata gets so much shit from me?" 

"That sounded a little gross". 

"C'mon~. You know you secretly adore me". 

"...Let's stick with "like" for now - not in that way!" 

"I didn't say anything". 

"You're smirking, though!" 

"Cause it's funny how precious you can be". 

"You're being disgusting! Quit it!" 

Okita chuckled it off, rubbing Kagura's hair carelessly as she ranted on. That felt normal to her. She couldn't exactly contain a smile right now, what with the events turning out the way they did. The fact that Kamui was going to prison; it didn't make for the perfect ending, as nothing else would, but it was good enough. They'd get there. Their small family had to get there soon. If it wasn't now, then in a couple of years they would be sitting around a table again, eating dinner like any ordinary family would...Although, there were still plenty of people in Kagura's life who could do the same, although with more idiotic shenanigans. But now she was sure that she could have both this time. And, this time, it was going to stick...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unlike the manga, I wanted to give Kamui a bit of a good side. If I did it correctly, or just...alright then I'd appreciate if someone informed me of that. I tried with these two chapters, and I am quite satisfied with the conclusion of them although I realise the way I wrote it isn't the best. Not...Not the greatest two chapters that I've written so far, but I still tried! I know the fight with Kamui and the other guy was anti-climactic, and I know Kamui is a badass, but if Kamui's gonna come out as a better man, I had to do something along these lines. Dislike this chapter and the last all you want, because I already know it's terrible.
> 
> Next chapter...I'm sure most of you have been waiting for the GinHiji to come back and I can definitely say that it's back. I'm gonna start writing that chapter as soon as possible. Thank you for reading my terrible writing :) I will do better next time!


	34. When You Get Older...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes...This is re-written. And my god it's going to be better.
> 
> If I'm gonna write this chapter, I'm going to do it right.
> 
> To the people who left their comments on the original version of this, SAJ and aziciel, thank you and I'm sorry those got deleted. This is hopefully a lot better. The original chapter 34 felt forced and generic, so I've fixed it and hopefully it's likeable.
> 
> The vast majority of this is re-written, except for the first part. If anyone's already read this chapter then you'll know when you see it. Just changed a couple descriptions in the beginning as well.

Snow, again. The little droplets of white floated down from an unclear sky, in vague greys and blues. The sixteenth today, and so quiet. The smell of smoke was familiar, yet oddly unpleasant. This month there was yet another article to write for the monthly Nihon Bungeisha magazine, plus the deadline for the finale of his "ground-breaking novel". But Gintoki couldn't think about those things. The last couple days were..different. It was new and surprising in ways that he should have expected ironically.

With a cigarette in hand, a huge disappointment after many months of being clean, Gintoki stares out of his apartment window for some inspiration. There is none, "nada" he thinks as his thoughts are still as cloudy as the sky. So many people with varied lives, drives, passions, and not one idea could come to mind as he neglected the laptop on his desk. After writing and publishing so much already, it made him realise that he was getting old. Well, he couldn't exactly feel that way outside of his work; not with that mayonnaise obsessed moron in the apartment across from him. Ever since he moved in, things for Gintoki turned in a weird direction. There was no helping it, though. He could only blow out a cloud of smoke, with the words at the tip of his tongue. They were...Those two were...

"Lovers...". He admitted to himself.

Must have started two days ago; this feeling...But it wasn't unease nor dread but...Certainty. He was damn certain of where his relationship with Hijikata had gone, and it was taking time for him to come to terms with the fact that, by now, they were indeed...lovers.

...

Two Days Prior...

...

Impatience had sent Gintoki to the rows of food on display at the very corner of the room. He spent less time gathering what he wanted onto one big plate, which was amusing to watch on Hijikata's end as he gradually stacked reasonable portions onto his smaller plate. Next to that he poured the drinks from the do-it-yourself bar, not far from the buffet. Two maple teas - a limited-edition food item for the holidays. Tasting it for the first time urged him to buy some at a grocery store, or perhaps they weren't that common. He took his seat back, right in front of Gintoki at their chosen booth. The man before him had no reason to wait after complaining about his hunger and his idiocy for skipping lunch in order to work. Naturally his stomach twisted up like it was sulking, demanding food like a child would if they were sent to bed without dinner. This was the end result once food was brought to them; one big desperate binge to fill the sulking stomach and satisfy it.

"Wow...". Hijikata muttered after taking a moment of observation on Gintoki's eagerrness to eat some of the best buffet servings he's ever eaten.

"Mn...What?" After swallowing, Gintoki shot a puzzled look and his body froze. "I'm hungry".

"Haha, I know, but slow it down. We still have about an hour to wait".

"So? I told you-".

"You skipped lunch. I know. But calm down a little, okay? Before you choke".

Gintoki grumbled. Hijikata was amused by this a lot more than he was embarrassed, considering the number of people inside the restaurant, but none of them cared to glance in their direction.

The situation here, where they had made a plan and settled down for a peaceful night, began within this buffet restaurant in town, where consumers were currently going Christmas shopping and generally enjoying the festivities displayed pretty much everywhere. Things had become more peaceful, what with gang activity at it's lowest. Shop-owners were more eager to open up sales and Christmas specials much earlier in the month, especially during the evening when most restaurants opened. In this case, with this special date, Gintoki suggested that they spend a little more time together. The whole night. Their plan fell apart, however.

Originally they planned to go straight to a love hotel and watch movies before getting under the sheets. But they were told almost immediately by reception that their rooms wouldn't be ready for about two hours. Other places were available, but Gintoki had to be organised and efficient this one time and book the room beforehand. The next part of the plan was to see a movie while they waited, so to the cinema they went. Unfortunately, the movie wasn't going to start for at least an hour. So now they were here, sitting at the buffet place across from the cinema at around seven o'clock in the evening under bright lighting while the outside was...They would have pointed out how pitch black it was if so many colours hadn't been puked out from shop-owners to decorate every inch of the shopping center and neighboring stores.

"Pretty crowded tonight...". Hijikata murmured - but not to intentionally start a conversation, until Gintoki caught wind of his words.

"You could say that again. This time of year is pretty hectic. Shoulda seen Kagura when I took her, Shinpachi and Otae out for Christmas shopping".

"Kids love Christmas anyway, so I'm not surprised they'd get excited over this stuff - even if it is shopping. Ah, speaking of...".

Hijikata put down his glass of maple tea, with his eyes darting to the surface of the table, on Gintoki's end. Or, more specifically, what was underneath. A shopping bag was wedged between Gintoki's legs from a small, arts and crafts store. He didn't look like a regular in such a mellow environment, more like someone browsing for a new colouring book as a part of his relative's kid's Christmas. But he bought something for himself. Hijikata realised that much, knowing that this guy was something of a sketch artist. By the shape pressing against the plastic bag from the inside he could only assume it was a sketchbook.

"What? It's a little something for myself. I've really gotten back into sketching, y'see, since we talked about..."you-know-what" and I...I'm interested in it again".

"Really? That's...That's good to hear. I'm glad to hear that you have a hobby other than - hah -reading Jump".

"Oi, I have other hobbies".

"Like what?"

"I...I like to watch T.V dramas and...I guess writing is more of a career than a hobby nowadays. But - but! I...I like...Oh, and what about you?! It's not like the Vice-Chief of police has any hobbies".

"Because I don't have time for hobbies".

"And what? That means you're as boring as I am - but at least we make perfect, joyless adults together".

Hijikata covered his lips with his knuckles to muffle even the softest chuckle to escape him. He had his other hand grasping his chopsticks, with both utensils squeezing a piece of gyoza; his side-dish. He hadn't picked a single one up as he would rather be emersed in whatever silly conversation he had with Gintoki. They gazed at eachother with warm, easy-going smiles. Joyless adults together, having a date that most teenagers would have. A romantic comedy was even lined up in about an hour. Currently they were killing time, but they were having fun while doing it.

...

Shuffling in among darkened rows of seating, right at the back of the staging room, Gintoki broke out into goosebumps. Usually, it was due to the anticipation of the big screen and the booming sounds alongside it. They would sit down in the center of the back row, awkwardly removing their coats and gloves in their seated positions. The room was nearly empty, and chilled due to the climate outside. Gintoki rubbed his arms thoroughly, leaning back for more comfortability as they waited in the dark, dark room for the movie to start.

"Kinda cold in here, huh?" He didn't want to sound like a bother himself, but Hijikata was the one to bring up the fact that it was so damn cold in here.

"Then come a little closer. Ah, here we go...". The arm rests seperating them were easily lifted, and the gap between them was broken. Gintoki took the initiative, shuffling his rear closer to Hijikata's seat. His arm held Hijikata by the back, pulling him into a cuddly position. No expression lay on Gintoki's face. Hijikata simply appreciated the gesture, and slowly things grew a lot warmer.

"You like these kinda movies?" He asked in waiting for the usual candy and movie commericals to begin, but also out of curiosity. Thinking about it, this was the first romantic movie they decided to watch. But this one was merely on a whim. So this was more of a rhetorical question; asking 'why are we in here when there's a shitty comedy playing in the theater next door?'

"Nah, not me. This is a first. But I know a couple of men and women on the force who enjoy this stuff".

"So we're literally killing time in here and nothing else?"

"Pretty much. How bad could this be, though? I hear it gets good reveiws".

"Tch, yeah, if you're a fan of chick flicks. Oh god, if Kintoki Sakata is in this-...!"

The exagerrated terror in Gintoki's voice, how he held onto Hijikata tightly with bulging eyes, was enough to provoke a real laugh from Hijikata.

"Haha...Ah, relax. He's not in every romance movie out there. So let's sit back and try not to take this too seriously. Could still be fun".

"I'll take you up on that".

The big screen came to light, and the hall that was filled with hushed conversations a few seconds prior were suddenly put down into silence when the atmosphere was set in motion. Pushed together in a relaxed cuddle, Hijikata and Gintoki watched with a little anticipation that this movie would be worth the wait.

"Hey...Hijikata...". Gintoki continued to whisper, though this time he was much more subtle. And although his face was shrouded away, Hijikata gave up his full attention to him to be polite, and because he wanted to. "You know...The cinema was kinda...a first official date for us".

"It...It was. What about it?"

Gintoki shrugged. "I dunno, but...Feels special, somehow. Like I could come back here with you and feel peaceful, like this was a landmark for us in terms of our relationship. We even shared a bed and kissed the same night, and I could feel any disliking for you drift away - like it never existed at all".

Intimacy was the first feeling they experienced those first few nights, when they didn't argue and instead they held a connection together. Something totally different from the norm'. Gintoki could be right; this place was a landmark. And it brought out the utmost honesty in them when the horror movie came on and they shit themselves in fear. Then they dropped all shame that night, under the same sheets, getting just a little bit closer.

"Me too. I feel the same way.

He did agree to a certain extent. There were, however, plenty of times that seemed to be landmarks for them; the first time they had a real, civil conversation, the first time they kissed, the first time they admitted to liking eachother and the very first time they made love despite not knowing what they were doing. These days they felt more of an emotional connection, and the meaningful conversations closed the gap between them. Even in the silence of this movie theater, when the weirder, more colourful commerials flashed up on screen and they watched while snuggling up from the cold, they felt a connection. A nice connection, even without another word. They didn't expect anything from this movie, but to stay in eachother's company and enjoy it as it was - whatever it was. They did step in, not knowing what was in store, after all.

...

The movie had to come to a conclusion sometime, which was a relief in this case. Gintoki had watched the whole time in puzzlement; puzzelement of his feelings towards this motion picture. Many moments between the main couple in this romantic comedy were light-hearted, sincere and they made him feel good. Then there came the heart-breaking scenes of doubt and uncertainty. Nothing too petty, but more...real. He could imagine the uncertainties in a relationship; what they were doing, where they were going, and so on. He could expect this from a Makoto Shinkai film; the sincerity and the cold, hard truth about relationships and how nothing really lasts forever. That impression came from 5 centimeters per second, and there was truth to it. Of course if we're talking about a love-sick couple of teenagers who need to learn the bzsics of growing up and moving along wiyh their lives.

Gintoki didn't know how to feel, and by the silence, he figured that Hijikata didn't know how to take it all in either. Looking at his face during a sad, but hard-hitting and blunt, ending, Gintoki could see some kind of epiphany shine in those eyes that seemed to reflect on his whole life up to this point. But there was no need to drag out his feelings to that extent. He appeared conflicted on whether to be astonished, sad or both. The emotion was new, and even more puzzling than the movie itself. There was a chance that tears would prick in Hijikata's eyes, but knowing him, no such thing would happen over a movie; a fictional piece written by someone with real experiences of romance and heart-break. Hijikata wasn't going to take it too seriously. However the look on his face was the tipping point into quiet sobs over a couple that doesn't exist, but they act out very real scenarios in relationships.

For a man who goes through literature for a living, Gintoki had come across this stuff at some point. So maybe that was why it didn't bother Gintoki as much. For Hijikata, despite having a real, meaningful relationship, you could imagine he used to avoid this stuff or try to laugh it all off. It was obvious why, but the subject wasn't something to simply bring up out of the blue. Neither was the expression on his face as the couple on screen took the same cab, albeit intending to go their seperate ways in silence without tears or regrets. And looking at it that way, thinking about Hijikata at the same time, it kind of hurt Gintoki in a way or two as well. But did he feel sad? Not really. Did he cry? Absolutely not. Squeezing Hijikata's hand was plenty. That and a deep breath to keep him level-headed until the credits rolled in. For Hijikata, hopefully this scene wouldn't drag out too long and break more hearts. Oh, christ...

...

It wasn't shocking to see Hijikata in his own world of silence and solitude. His eyes were squarely focused on the path before his feet, his hands in his pockets, his cigarette carton untouched the whole time they were out of the theater. Felt weird to go to a love hotel when he was looking like this; probably feeling down and in the dumps about a silly movie. He knew it was silly, but the music and the scene wouldn't leave his head.

"Hey, is-...Is everything alright?" Gintoki tried to ask this in a more monotone way where his voice didn't sound too sympathetic. "You've gone quiet all of a sudden". In the end, however, he definitely sounded concerned - but with a brave face on.

Hijikata raised his head, stunned by the voice that hit him. A daydream. He'd come out of a rock-bottom-type daydream. When realising it was Gintoki, and that he was pretty concerned about his lack of conversation or eye contact, he decided to make eye contact and smile at his kindness. Seemed forced, though.

"I'm alright, thanks".

"W-was it the movie? Yeah, it caught me off guard as well but-".

"Hah, Gintoki, I'm really alright. I'm...being stupid, that's all. Yeah, it was only a movie, and I'm being a huge fucking downer. Sorry...".

"Don't apologise - Hey, I was, er, tearing up a little myself".

"No you weren't".

"I was. I'm not afraid to admit that. Even I get touched by movies sometimes, and I get a little emotional".

"Heh, right, sure...".

Hijikata's smile did fade out when their conversation came to a close, when it seemed as if Gintoki stopped paying close attention to him; so he could stop forcing and faking it, pretending to be a hundred percent okay. Gintoki was, however, a persistent one at the right moments. He still smiled, gently, nudging Hijikata's elbow for his attention once more.

"Hey...". He murmured and managed to meet Hijikata's gaze again. The man wasn't forcing anything this time, and only listened and watched. "Smile...You look a lot more handsome when you do".

"What? I, I am...".

Gintoki rolled his eyes. To Hijikata's astonishment, Gintoki skipped in front of him. Stopped in his tracks, Hijikata was face-to-face with Gintoki. Very little was expected, so he was frozen stiff when Gintoki cupped his cheeks, rubbing them a little as if to loosen his lips into a real smile.

"C'mon~, smile for real, handsome man. Or do I have to take drastic measures and tickle you in the middle of the street?"

"Hah...hahaha...". Oh my god, it worked. There was sweet, sweet laughter behind an amazingly sincere smile that would warm hearts. It warmed Gintoki's that's for sure. Playfully, not too roughly, Hijikata gave Gintoki a push as a way to make him stop. As he did, he muttered: "Haha, c-cut it out, Gintoki. Honestly...".

Gintoki very playfully shoved back, laughing a little bit himself.

"Haha...Cheered up?"

"I wasn't even miserable. I was...It was a movie, I got a little too...into it. That's all. Sorry for making you worry, I-...I feel stupid".

"Oi, I told you not to apologise. And I also told you: I was tearin' up too. Honest".

A soft, grateful expression was clear on Hijikata's features, which incidentally left a long-lasting impression on Gintoki. He made things a little lighter, and that was enough to pull in a long, but sorta nice, awkward silence. Gintoki broke their gaze, clearing his throat, moving on by returning to Hijikata's side for the rest of their walk.

"We should-ahem! We should, er, get going, right?"

"Y-yeah, 'course. Our room should definitely be ready by now".

"Uhn-huh...". They walked again, in sync, feeling awkward, trying to forget the awkwardness. "I'm freezing my ass off, so if it's not ready I'm gonna be pissed".

"I'm sure it's ready. Relax".

"Oh, I will. Big double bed with fresh, warm bed sheets and a puffy coverlet...".

"Room service?"

"Yep...". At this point, Gintoki reached out...

"Heating...".

"Oh, yeah..."...and grasped Hijikata's hand.

"Mm. A warm bath and fluffy yukatas for later?"

"Hijikata, you're killin' me".

"Haha...".

He had no reason as to why he-...held Hijikata's hand this tightly...Did he need one? It happened, and that was that. Neither had to acknowledge it with shock or astonishment, but with acceptance that they could do this without acting like a couple of adolescent brats. Without giving eachother an accepting look, they simply squeezed eachother's palms and fingers to escape the cold a little bit, for a moment. Felt good. Felt right. And yet...another landmark was set into place.

...

A familiar, dull click of the room's keycard lock sent a little wave of goosebumps across Gintoki's arms as he held the power to enter the safety of this room and bask in it. Entering Hijikata almost immediatly found the light switch, as the hotels always set them up next to the door, or at least nearby. He pressed the square button on the wall, and the lights flashed on with no resistance. Good. Hopefully there wouldn't be a power outage in the middle of the night.

A very soft thud emitted from the bed, like a "puff" sound. Gintoki had collapsed into the bedding...again. Rolling around in its warmth, hugging the puffy coverlet like a body pillow. He hadn't even taken his coat or boots off yet. Hijikata didn't roll his eyes, but instead found amusement in this reoccuring tendancy of Gintoki's where he craves warmth and comfort on a freshly made hotel bed. He simply has to collapse into it and warm up.

"Huaahh...It's so cold...".

"I'm sure the heating's on in here...". Hijikata said, confidently taking off his coat without any worry that he'd receive sudden chills in this room. "So was there any need to mess up the bed, again?" He turned to the coat closet on the other end of the door, opposite the lights and thermostat. He put his own coat away, sliding off his shoes and storing them inside, right next to a couple of spare slippers.

"Still cold...and I'm tired...and a little hungry".

"I'm sure room service provides desserts, so have at it. And if you're cold, we can run a bath. Here...". Hijikata went straight for the bathroom on the far side of the room. "I wanted to go for one anyway, so why don't we both-...".

Opening the bathroom door, Hijikata stopped himself from finishing. He sighed in annoyance, scratching the back of his head. Gintoki peered into the bathroom from the bed. Clearly he could see that taking a bath together wasn't much of an option - not in this hotel.

"Dammit...". Hijikata grumbled.

"Uh...Unless you want me to sit on your lap - o-or vise versa - I think we'll have to take turns".

"Fair enough...You can go first, seeing as you're freezing and it'll stop you complaining".

"Nah, you go. You said you only had enough time for a shower this morning, right?"

"...Are you sure?"

"Yeah, yeah. Go, go, go. I'll order us some room service, alright?"

"Thanks, Gintoki. I'll try to be quick - and don't go crazy if you're ordering booze".

Hijikata went ahead into the bathroom while carrying out their conversation. He knelt in front of their one-person bath and rolled around the hot faucet to fill it. Rolling up his sleeves, he pushed in the plug so the tub filled.

"Psh, I won't go...crazy". Gintoki sat up, removing his coat - to put away later. His boots were pushed off and he easily rolled around by the phone and the little menus set up at the side. He, of course, picked up the alcohol menu first, flipping through the three pages curiously. "I'll order a bottle of wine and--ooh! Eggnog! Hijikata, they have eggnog!'

At the very corner of the last page, a picture was presented, marked "limited item only". A glass tankard of eggnog was shown, glistening perfectly for the picture to peak the interests of customers for this time of year. Gintoki was a little giddy. The only time he ever drank the stuff was during the holidays, but that was a given. Granny often brought alcohol to make it. Some old ladies make Christmas cookies with their grandkids, Otose makes booze with Gintoki almost every year. It wasn't Christmas yet, but then again it wasn't too far away. Eggnog and desserts it was. He looked through the little desserts list, finding strawberry cake on the first page, and his mind was made up. With both, at the right pages, underneath him, Gintoki finally picked up the phone and dialed the special number left on the very front of these menus.

He waited for the humming to stop. Sit up. Wait. Take a peek into the bathroom 'cause Hijikata left the door open in confidence and the humming over the line was still going. The bathroom was bright. Lights shined against the porcelain tiles. And he watched, his expression softening into quiet amazement. Hijikata was straight-faced. This could be seen. He was shirtless, too. His back was broad, his skin was deliciously pale and smooth-looking. His eyes were always so mature, too. Unbuckling his belt with soft clicks, he stripped himself of his pants, folded neatly for the pile made on the bathroom counter. His legs were something Gintoki often appreciated...Okay, he shouldn't have been staring like a big pervert, but he was more in admiration for Hijikata's solid and smmoth appearance rather than feeling horny and desperate. He watched without a word, wndering if Hijikata was getting goosebumps from the chill. Then he...He gripped the waistband of his boxers and...and...

["Room service: how may I help?"]

"Uah...!" He was caught off guard by the voice suddenly calling out to him in that fake, cheery tone. Oh you must really love your job, lady; interupting some peeping time on a guy who can't even shut the bathroom door. Practically asking Gintoki to stare at his naked body. "Uh, he-hey. S-sorry 'bout that. Um...Yeah, I'll have two eggnogs and two strawberry cakes, if ya don't mind".

["Okey-doke. And what is the room number?"]

"Er...203".

["203...Alright. We'll send your order up as soon as possible. Thank you for staying at our establishment"].

"No problem. Bye...".

Gintoki hung up, hiding his face in his hands with a huge sigh pouring out. The heat of his breath covered his palms, and his ears were hot with embarrassment. In his mind he knew he was being a bit of a perv by staring at Hijikata, but what was he supposed to do? Ignore him? If only the lady hadn't picked up at that moment, then maybe he wouldn't feel so sick for staring at such a...natural spectrum of beauty. Who the hell wouldn't take a peak? The door was open! Wide open!

Leaning back with the headboard there to support him, Gintoki snatched the T.V remote from it's place; the opposite end table. Stretching out his legs, he crossed one over the other by the ankles, flexing his toes beneath their socks. The first channel to pop up was a news segment. Boring. He flipped through to a shopping channel. Also boring. Flipping through again and again until he reached a talk show on channel twelve. He was going to flip through again, try and find a good television series or movie, but found himself taking a pause upon hearing two words from the programme's host.

["-and tonight, we have a very special guest. The face of day-time television, and one of the main hot topics of the fortune-telling world, with rumors of her upcoming autobiography this winter...Ana Ketsuno, everyone"].

The audience of this show cheered and clapped excitedly as the lady herself walked out from the background confidentally, but withholding her genuine friendly attitude by smiling and waving and uttering a hello at a volume below the crowd's noise. Gintoki was excited himself, simply to see her appear on something other than the weather forcast. A shining moment for his favourite weather girl, and he couldn't have been more proud to have her autograph photo-framed on his computer desk.

["Haha, hello everyone"]. She bowed, getting a word in once everyone else shut their mouths. ["I'm happy to be here tonight, for all my adorable fans. I'm sure my brother is recording this right now..."].

The crowd gave a laugh, as did the host.

["Haha, wow, sounds like quite the guy"]. Shut the fuck up, dude. ["So, Ms. Ketsuno, we invited you here tonight to discuss your autobiography. You announced it's release date...Last week, wasn't it?"]

["Yes, on the weather report. It seemed a little off, and I apologise, but..."].

["No, no, no need to apologise. I'm sure we're all very excited for it's release. So, tell me, do you mind giving us a little teaser on it's contents?"]

["Oh, I dunno..."].

The audience began to cheer in enthusiasm, wanting to hear the juicy details. Read the books yourselve's when it comes out, assholes.

["Hahaha...O-okay, then. Well...In the book, I talk about where I grew up and a little about my fortune-telling background. That's all I'm saying, but don't expect any ground-breaking secrets to be revealed"].

["Aw, that's a bit of a shame...So, uh, what our viewers also wanted to ask you in terms of the book..."].

The sounds coming from the T.V faded into the back of Gintoki's mind when there was a knock at their room door. Room service. That was quick. He got up from the bed, heading straight for it in anticipation. A young lady was the one to bring up a tray of eggnog and strawberry cake. She smiled, and bowed, and thanked Gintoki for his, and Hijikata's, patronage. Taking the tray, Gintoki also bowed and bid the staff member a thank you and a polite goodbye. When she walked back down the hallway, he swung the door shut with his foot and carried on. Setting the tray on the cabinet on the opposite side of the bed, right next to the blaring television, Gintoki gave a sigh and intended to call out to Hijikata so he could have his share. But, when peering back into the bathroom without thinking, he paused.

Breath-taking...The sight was almost...breath-taking. Hijikata was easing himself into the rounded bath tub, his back turned to Gintoki. His skin was clearly glistening from when he briefly took a shower. Gintoki's heart felt frail, skipping a beat. Hijikata's perfectly curved knees were propped up, with not much room to spare. His elbows leaned against the rim of the tub, his hands and fingers outstretched and relaxed. He...looked really relaxed, considering how warm the water would be in comparison to the room as a whole.

This-...This was not a pervy little moment for Gintoki to stop and stare. Oh, no. He was looking at this from a whole other angle, and it peaked his interest to the point where he rushed over to his arts and crafts bag, pulling out his newly bought sketchbook and tearing open the plastic covering in excitement. He bought some new pencils too, digging inside the bag, biting his lip, to simply grasp them. He clawed into the pack with his teenie-tiny, non-existent nails and finally caught one in his grasp. They were sharpened, thank god, and thus he tried to act calmly and professionally. The excitement wasn't easily hidden away.

Carefully, holding the sketchbook against his chest, grasping the pencil in his balled up fist, Gintoki approuched the bathroom with easy steps. Trying to give off a more easy-going impression, he leaned against the frame of the door and waited a little before making his presence clear. He even took a quick breath in an attempt to calm his nerves.

"Haah...Uh, hey...". He greeted, finding that even the softest tone caught Hijikata's attention.

He turned his head, shifting his body a little in order to see Gintoki standing there. Hijikata wasn't too surprised. Nor was he angry or embarrassed due to the sudden intrusion. Just a little confused.

"Er...Hey. What-...What's up? Do you need any-...thing...?" Upon seeing the sketchbook in Gintoki's hands, raised a little so that Hijikata got a clear enough picture, the silence drew in. But, again, no anger or embarrassment. This time there was understanding and...curiosity.

"Mind if we do this now? You look-...Hah, you look quite...stunning, so I thought...O-of course, with your permission...".

Losing his confidence now was not ideal. Noticing Hijikata's rather amazed expression, Gintoki found himself getting cold feet already. This amazed look...It relaxed. Hijikata, once again, relaxed. Rubbing the excited goosebumps from his arms, his cheeks turning a beautiful shade of red, Hijikata gave a nod. Gintoki twitched, his eyes growing a little wide when the realisation hit him: good job, buddy. You get permission to make some damn good work.

"Really? A-alright, then...Um...Shit, this is-heh...I'm kinda nervous".

"You're nervous?" Hijikata asked this sarcastically, feeling self-conscious, as anyone would. The bathroom was a somewhat safe place where shame wasn't something you think about. Having someone else in the room, bringing these suggestions with him, Hijikata's nerves pricked his skin in tiny goosebumps.

That wasn't hard to notice, and it, of course, knocked some sense into Gintoki to try and tone down his enthusiasm. He took a few deep breaths and approuched with caution. He looked around the small bathroom, wondering where to do this. At the same time he wondered what position would make Hijikata more comfortable. He didn't want him to feel too awkward. Embarrassment was normal, but...

"Gintoki...". Hijikata murmured his name, yet his voice echoed. He swallowed, squeezing his knees together. His heart was racing like crazy... When Gintoki turned and faced him, their eyes met. Felt like ice prickling into their skin on the outside while their bodies were boiling up on the inside. "Why not-...Ahem...". Hijikata had to clear his throat. He had to before getting it out. "Why don't you sit...here. R-right there, on the edge...".

Hijikata anxiously directed Gintoki's attention to the very edge of the round, oval tub. There was just enough room for someone's rear end. And the wall would act as support for his back while he sketched. An up-close shot was in store. How fucking nerve-wracking. Oh fuck, oh shit, oh fuck....

"You sure? I, I mean, I could sit a little further away and...".

"It's fine. It sounds weird, but I think I'll feel more comfortable having you right by my side".

Hijikata was blushing. They both knew it. Gintoki was also blushing, and both men knew it as well. Once more, as if it was slowly becoming a bad habit, Gintoki turned his eyes to the floor and scratched the back of his head, clearing his throat. Nice and easy does it...Taking the first step forward, he spoke quietly.

"Erm...O-okay, yeah. Yeah, if you're...alright with that...". He took more confident steps, sitting down on the edge of the tub, as suggested. "Sure...Alright, we're in business then. Just...Y'know...". He rolled up the cuffs of his pants and slipped his socks off, tossing them to the floor. "Try to relax and act naturally - like I'm not even here, okay?"

"Yeah...Okay".

A foot had to go over and into the water, soaking the very hem of his pant leg. The other leg was propped up when his back reached the wall. Gintoki sat up straight, maintained his balance, and held his sketchbook on his propped up thigh, like a drawing board. Already his breathing was uneven, and he was shaking ever so slightly. The soft tapping and swirling of bath water was all that could be heard as Hijikata quietly continued to bathe and soak. Try as he might, he was all too conscious of Gintoki, leaving his cheeks in a state of red. He stared down at his propped up knee; the left one. A hand scooped under his thigh, the other resting against the tub's rim.

"Right there...That's...That look is perfect". Gintoki made a request, smiling with some confidence. "Alright...Try not to move too much, alright? Okay...Here goes...".

Hijikata managed to glance up a little to see Gintoki hard at work. Almost immediatly he was focusing on the paper in front of him, starting with normal, light lines. Glancing back down at his knees, Hijikata also took a deep breath and calmed himself down. The water surrounding him was still warm, but not enough to make him pass out after soaking for too long. And it wouldn't freeze too quickly either. They had time. They had plenty of time. And so Hijikata waited patiently, listening to the subtle scratches of Gintoki's pencil, noticing at the corner of his eye how Gintoki glanced up every few seconds to capture every little detail perfectly.

This was nerve-wracking, embarrassing, even a bit strange, but it was good. It gave them both a deep feeling of pleasure; to sketch and to be sketched. Not a single detail to be missed. Focused eyes, broad shoulders, wonderfully slim legs, glistening skin, and enough coverage to keep Hijikata's most private parts out of the picture. Gintoki's stomach was...turning. The thumping in his chest was like that of a primal drum, it's sound digging right in the ears like a never-ending echo. This was intense, but good. He reminded himself of that. It felt strangely good. Scraping the tip of his pencil across blank paper, Gintoki was starting to create a picture; starting with Hijikata's face. The focused eyes...Perfect jawline, smooth lips...The droplets of water...Glistening - his damp hair...It was coming together slowly, but in his mind he was nearly finished. Shadow, contrast with the light, the relaxation of each line.

His back was near to aching from the pressure he was putting on the wall. He was red in the face, which, in this lighting, was as clear as day.

"Hm...You're blushing...". Hijikata couldn't hold down a smile or those words. He said them, and didn't regret it.

"...'Course I am". To his surprise, Gintoki wasn't holding anything back either. "I'm nervous as hell, but...I'm trying not to think about it...".

"...".

All he could think about, right now, was the shape and the features of Hijikata's face. He hadn't even started sketching Hijikata's body yet. Only his face was trapped in his mind, and his smirk was causing small tremours in Gintoki's hands. He put on a smirk too, though.

"You're blushing as well".

"W-well, yeah. I'm on the receiving end of this".

"Do you hate it? We can stop if...".

"I didn't say that. I don't...hate this. Not at all, so...Keep going".

The speech between them, and the situation combined, Gintoki could have sworn this was like having sex, only without the physical pleasure and more emotional indulgence. Swallowing once again, Gintoki proceeded with a steady hand and wavering thoughts of what would happen next. This couldn't have been that erotic, could it? Only when Gintoki had stretched the lines down, reaching his body. Hijikata's chest looked just as broad as his back, his muscles presented with a shine of water. His areola was perked up - from the temperature of the room, surely. Big shoulders and biceps, strong thighs and perfectly slim legs...Was he ever this nervous when sketching women? No, it wasn't a case of gender or body parts, as Gintoki had sketched Katsura and Takasugi before. Then what was it that got him so anxious and excited to carry on and put every little detail into his work?

He filled in the light outlines, giving them a deeper shade, adding shadow and details to his picture. By then, the bath water was runnimg cold around his foot, and the skin of his toes was shriveling up a bit. Almost done. Almost there...The heat had faded, yet the passion in the moment stuck around. Gintoki smirked, still focusing on his work, when Hijikata's foot poked his on purpose. He looked up, seeing a pretty smile on his pale face. No blush...

"Hurry up, it's getting cold".

"Almost there. Stay still a little longer, okay?"

"...".

Gintoki dusted off the eraser shavings - the eraser on the end of his pencil - and added one or two minor details to the faded background of the bathroom, with the main focus being Hijikata of course, and then ended his work with a scribbled signature in the corner. He blew over the page with one, quick gust of breath from pursed lips and sat back.

"Finished...?"

"Uh-huh, all done...".

"Oh...Can I...Can I see? O-once I get outta the bath. It's getting really cold in here".

"Ah, shit! I'll get you a towel. Can you get up?" Gintoki swung his legs over the side, standing, kicking off the water droplets from his soaked foot and calf.

"Of course I can. Please, get a towel".

Gintoki rushed over to the cupboard in the corner as Hijikata lifted himself up to sit on the bath's rim. A big towel was brought and wrapped around Hijikata's shivering body quickly. He wasn't freezing. Mostly warm, a little chilled around his legs and hips, but not freezing. He covered himself up completely, drying his hair with the spare length of the towel. He was given assistance, too, lucky boy. Gintoki rubbed his back with the towel, bearing a content little smile, his sketchbook wedged under his arm. Hijikata eyed it curiously, but held back until he was warmer, wearing a yukata, perhaps with a drink in his hand.

...

A half-glass of eggnog sat on one end table, and tucked under the heated covers of the bed in a fluffy yukata was Hijikata. He had no idea how long he had been staring at his own picture, as Gintoki took his own bath a while ago, but he couldn't take his eyes off the work itself. It was beautifully sketched, so well drawn. Quite enchanting...He was totally mesmorised by every single detail put into the picture like the eyes and the shadows, the glistening of his skin. He almost didn't recognise the portrait, but he knew - he could absolutely tell that the person in the picture was him. It didn't look like some stranger.

From beyond the open bathroom door, the light was flicked off. Hijikata's attention was naturally drawn away from the sketch at that point to meet Gintoki's eyes. He walked out in a yukata, too, picking up his eggnog and dessert from the T.V cabinet.

"Haa, man...That felt so good". He moaned, climbing into bed, right beside Hijikata. "Had to refill the whole bath 'cause it was frozen, but it was worth it. My back was killing me from leaning against that wall...".

Gintoki sipped his drink, ate his cake, acting like nothing had happened - if but for a moment, as he took notice of Hijikata's staring, and the sketchbook in his hands, and his smile. Gintoki looked at him, not saying a word. But he smiled too and sighed. Had to come up sometime, right? Here goes.

"So...". He began, swallowing his food and licking the cream off his lips. "What do you think? Impressed? Flattered?"

"I'm-...I'm impressed. This is...really good, Gintoki. It is, and...I don't know anyone who could sketch as well as you do - not personally, anyway".

"You like it?"

"Yeah, I do".

"Well...The sketchbook's technically yours, if you want. I only sketch you and...A-again, if you want...I...I wanna sketch you more, Hijikata. You looked...really amazing tonight, and, with your permission, I wanna do more of that. So can I?" Gintoki rested his head on Hijikata's shoulder, looking over the sketch himself. "Can I sketch you...whenever you feel comfortable with it?"

"...Sure. Of course you can. Not in a bathtub, though".

"No, no, not in a bathtub. I don't want you to catch a cold because of me".

A kiss was pressed into Hijikata's shoulder, but with a thick layer of fluff blocking it. Then came the pressing kiss upon his cheek; moist and warm and cute all the same. Setting the sketchbook aside, Hijikata gave his attention to the artist rather than his work. Yes, he was getting that much credit - just not out loud. Gintoki put aside his drink and dessert on his own end table to offer his own attention to Hijikata. And it was obvious where their shared gazes were heading. Yet it was Hijikata to lead in with a kiss. To push Gintoki very gently onto his back.

A soft chuckle came from him before Hijikata could land a kiss. It was ignored. For a moment. Getting into the kiss was easy, and imagining what was up ahead was even easier. No anxiety towards that, but a passionate sketch from a bathtub? Terrifying. Granted, it was a first, but neither of them could really feel shame by this point in the relationship, could they? Gintoki cupped both of Hijikata's cheeks at first, passionately - almost aggressively - running his fingers through his hair.

Hot breath flooded their faces when finding the will to retract from their deep, aggressive kiss. Hijikata didn't stop, though. Pushing back Gintoki's drenched bangs, he placed a single kiss on his forehead, which was creating sweat droplets from the heat. More kisses...More, more, more; everywhere; all over Gintoki's face and down to his neck. The next step for Hijikata was to turn up the heat - only a little. He clutched Gintoki supple thigh, sliding his fingers underneath his buttocks, realising that Gintoki hadn't slipped on any underwear. This did not faze him. He didn't want to question it. Yet when Gintoki reached head-on for Hijikata's waist, sliding his hand past the bottom half of his robes, he opened his mouth and chuckled when Hijikata's kisses grew ticklish.

"Ha...Haha, Hi-Hijikata...You put on underwear?"

"Ah...Shut up...It's cold".

Nails dug into Gintoki's flesh once he reached deep enough. With his left hand, Hijikata's yukata was pulled down by the shoulder to make room for kisses and affectionate nips. Maybe a mark or two.

"Mm...Hahh...Hiji-...Hijikata...". Gintoki's lips pressed into the exposed skin, suddenly clamping around it when the hem of his yukata was lifted up, and he was touched. The grip sent a shock wave of shudders up his spine and a moan from the back of his throat. He could feel his upright legs collapse around Hijikata's waist and cling on as the shudders continued. "F-fuck, w-wait...Wait, wait, wai-...ah...Hiji-...Hijikata...".

The curtains of fabric were pushed far apart, and thus Gintoki's chest was fully exposed. Pressing his lips to a random spot of skin, Hijikata caught a taste of the sweat glistening from the intense heat that was building up. Yet he could also smell coconuts, of all things; from the small bottle of body wash provided by the hotel. There was vanilla in Gintoki's hair, too. So sweet...

"Guess you're on top. Heh, I woulda...prepared, y'know? In the bath...".

"There's no need for that. I'll do it all for you, so relax".

"You're tellin' me to relax, but you look like you're about to melt. That portrait shake you up?" Gintoki hung his arms over the far edge of the bed, behind his head. He clutched his pillow, smirking, watching Hijikata's cheeks tinge a light red.

"I am relaxed. You're the one that needs to take it easy. And I'm not shaken up".

"Oh...?"

"I'm not...We'll see who gets shaken up".

"Oh, now I'm really anxious...and excited. Go on, do what you will. But be gentle, okay, baby?"

"Uh, shut up...".

"Aw, don't be like that. C'mere, a bit closer...".

Holding Hijikata's nape in his arms, Gintoki pulled him back down for a kiss. Their noses pressed together softly, as did their lips. Gintoki was the one to tilt his head and take some control, proving how experienced he had become with Hijikata over the past nine months. Of course, Hijikata wasn't going to hang his tongue out stupidly while Gintoki did all the work. In fact, Hijikata took a firm grip on the initiative, giving Gintoki a proper french kiss. Good man. Time to sweep Gintoki off his feet, and even off his hips.

...

The yukatas were long gone, thrown to the floor in a heap. And the most intense feelings engulfed them in a twenty-minute activity. At least, they thought it was roughly twenty minutes. At this point, Gintoki had lost control of his voice and the energy in his legs. Hijikata gripped both knees, holding them far apart one minute and then letting them wrap around his waist in the next for speed and momentum. And neither of them could take it anymore.

Gintoki arched his back with a loud, shameless cry, while Hijikata held his back and let everything else out into the condom he was wearing. And...breathe. Relax. Give it a rest, fellas.

Hijikata quietly lay down by Gintoki's side, a panting, sweating mess - the both of them. The condom may have been a little too tight, as it hurt while removing it. He had put up with it, only thinking about how Gintoki felt. Felt good in the end. Even if it was a littoe rough in the beginning and even if the rubber was a little too tight. Gintoki felt dizzy...Quite dizzy. The pressure and the speed and oh everything else had pushed his orgasm into the back room. It felt better, definitely. But it wasn't a feeling he wanted to experience often. Seeing him in such a sluggish state, pulled Hijikata in to kiss him on the face, the lips, his ear unintentionally. Then he relaxed once more, lacing their fingers together as they both caught their breath and eased themselves into rest.

"You okay...?" He asked, pushing back silver bangs.

"Mn-hm...Tired, but I'm good...I feel really good...Oh god...Well you shut me up, that's for damn sure".

"Hah...".

The last bit of energy Gintoki had was a quick turn of his head, giving Hijikata an even quicker kiss on the lips. After that, nothing but sleep was on his mind. He yawned deeply, sniffling as his eyes watered.

"Oh man...I'm getting old...".

"You're not that old - and anyway, we're the same age. If you're old, then I'm old".

"Yeah...We're both old. Once we turn thirty, I don't think having sex as often as we do is much of an option. We'll be like those couples who settle down by age thirty; give eachother pecks instead of making-out, go to bed early, miss out on sex and go straight to sleep, cuddle up and do crossword puzzles on the sofa with a...big blanket over our legs...".

Hijikata had gotten emersed in those images. He was smiling softly, content when picturing all of those things. By age thirty? Did Gintoki think they'd be together that long or was he unconsciously coming up with a future that they may not have? Gintoki noticed his staring through the dark, and smiled too.

"What...?" He asked, giving out quiet, awkward laughter.

"We do those things anyway...Sometimes, at least".

"I, uh...Don't recall the last time we did a crossword puzzle together, ever".

"You know what I mean. Sometimes we spend the night on the sofa with some food, glasses of wine and a whole selection of television dramas or trashy soap operas right in front of us. Sometimes we go to bed and sleep rather than have sex, and it's honestly nice. Don't you think so?"

"Yeah, of course. Of course those things are nice. You and I can have a good time without being too intimate - I know that. It'll just suck when we reach a certain age and sex'll feel like a chore. It's supposed to be special, depending on who you're with".

"Have you always felt that way?"

"...No. Sex was just sex before. It was enjoyable but also pretty forgettable. My feelings about that stuff has kinda changed since you came along. With you, it feels special. A lot of simple, everyday tasks and activities feel special to me. Is that just me?...Hijikata?"

"...". Although he was hot, sweaty and exhausted out of his mind, Hijikata moved in closely and hugged Gintoki from the side. He spread kisses across his cheek, still grasping his hand even when the sweat soaking their palms and the spaces between their fingers became almost unbearable. And he uttered... "How can I feel so lucky to have you, Gintoki?"

"Huh? What did you...?"

"I feel...I feel lucky to have you in my life, like this. That may sound weird, but...".

"No, it doesn't. It's not weird. I feel just as lucky, y'know? Having someone so understanding and strong next to me almost every single day".

"Gintoki...".

They both meant what was said, followed by a sincere kiss. Neither of them really thought about the future. Even now Hijikata was merely smiling at the thought of late nights on the sofa with television dramas and - heck - why not the crossword puzzles? What would it be like to be in a relationship with Gintoki at thirty? Never crossed his mind, until now. Would they still be dating? No, get it out of your head. That's then, this is now, dumbass...Would they be as happy or content as they are now?

There was this shift in Hijikata's mind. Not fear or panic or whatever, but a shift nonetheless. This wasn't the first time he saw a brighter light in Gintoki's eyes, or kindness in his smile. He felt safe being by his side, and content. A deep affection hung over his heart, and he reminded himself how lucky he was this time around to have someone like Gintoki. Funny...Witty...A good heart...Kind, caring, strong...All the things that Hijikata could see in him after nine months of long talks and moments of "opening up".

"We should sleep, huh? Gotta check out by nine tomorrow, grab some breakfast.".

"Okay...".

"Come closer. You're probably still cold after the bath". Hijikata cuddled Gintoki, embracing him while Gintoki kissed his cheek and rubbed his back.

"I'm fine, but thanks, Gintoki".

Once kissed, once they settled down into a cuddle and said good night, and the silence took over...Hijikata was left alone to his thoughts. Closing his eyes, his mind's eye played a role of memories and expectations. He allowed the more comforting memories in; the reasons why he did feel lucky to be in a relationship now. And that mostly revolved around Gintoki, as well as his will to actually date. Even when it was the one person on his mind. Gintoki felt somewhat similar. Great minds do think alike. When he was younger, he struggled and struggled to find a nice girl to just have some intimate fun with. The days when he had more energy than self-control. So, what was this? It felt like he had settled down a lot since his younger days, back when he was in his early twenties with a bigger perm and a libido more active than a dog's. He felt sick for wording it that way in his head.

This was...relaxing, pleasant and even unforgettable. It was...easy-going. And it was a nice change to what he was after before Hijikata; a young, hot woman who could handle the urges of a sadist. Nope. Nothing like that here, ladies and gentlemen, move along. Now he had a mayonnaise-obsessed man who denied him of his urges and left him wanting the simple things at the end of the day. Which would consist of a peaceful night under a big blanket, even if they fell asleep on the sofa with the T.V on static mode. The peaceful, easy-gong things had suddenly become the best things. Thinking about it as Gintoki made his slow journey to dreamland, he wondered when he started thinking like that...

...

...

Hijikata had to say a quick good-bye to Gintoki the next morning as he tried to dash off to work before realising that a cab was far more efficient. They talked too long during breakfast and to apologise for it, Gintoki smirked, winked and told him to "have a good day, Mr. Policeman". He wasn't late, thank god. But he hated the fact that he was forced to be hasty when getting ready to go. Seems that having a date like Gintoki makes things a lot more disorganised. Oh, geez, it was rubbing off on the Vice-Chief.

He greeted his co-workers in passing, on the way to his own office, forgetting that his hair was still tousled from this morning's good-bye kiss...Yeah...It wasn't just a peck that he got...

If this continued, he would have to stop taking baths altogether in the morning, cut down on breakfast and to get up long before Gintoki did in the first place.

Marching straight to his private office, right beside Kondo's, he took out his own key and unlocked the door. His co-workers watched in bewilderment as he seemed more eager to work than he normally did. Scary...It was scary when he was eager to work. Hijikata collapsed into his desk chair, like a man who's just ran a marathon going all over Tokyo from district to district. He at least made the effort to remove his coat, while seated, and dumped it across his desk for the time being. He sighed deeply, burying his face in his hands. Yes, he was on time, but being as punctual as he usually was, he would dare to label this a close call. Being Vice-Chief, he wanted to set a firm example for his co-workers. Not that this would affect their work, though.

A dull knocking hit his door a couple times, and Hijikata invited them in, getting up to hang his coat on the rack at the very corner of the room. He dusted off his uniform as the door opened.

"Toshi...?" Kondo came in with a friendly smile and a tray of coffee grasped in his hand. "Is this a bad time?"

"Er, no, come on in".

He thanked him for the coffee before getting to reach for it, leaning his rear on the edge of his desk to take a much needed sip once the mug was in his grasp.

"You okay, Toshi? You seemed a little...frantic this morning when you walked in".

"Sorry, Kondo-san. I was, er...Held up by traffic. The snow was a nightmare to-...".

"Traffic? Is Gin-san traffic now? That's not very nice, Toshi".

"...".

"I'm playing around, don't worry. And there's no need to keep things from me. We're both men, and good friends. Was it Gin-san who...held you up this morning?"

"Hah...Um...Kind of. Sorry, Kondo-san".

"Ah, no worries!" Kondo slapped Hijikata's back confidently, causing some minor, unintentional pain where it hurt the most. "It's not like you were late, and I'm sure we can all understand what it's like when two lovers get all...wrapped up, even in the morning. Some of the men are...somewhat jealous. Gin-san's a man so they aren't totally-".

"Kondo-san, I really appeeciate the heart-to-heart talk, but I really need to get to work. There's a ton of paperwork to do today, and I'm on patrol later, so...".

"I understand, but there's no need to be shy. I...want to talk about these things with you".

"Okay, Kondo-san...". Hijikata stood up straight and headed for his desk chair to call in Yamazaki and receive all his daily paperwork. But Kondo carried on without a care, and probably too much coffee running around in his system and his head.

"I mean, you two look so nice together after the fights and scenes you made in public".

"Kondo-san, c'mon-".

"This is the happiest I've seen you since...Since Mitsuba...If you don't mind my saying, Toshi".

No more protests. No more utterings that suggested Kondo should leave so he could get on with his own work, too. But there was a moment where Hijikata had to take a pause and process those words. The mentioning of Mitsuba Okita didn't upset or anger him. It made him think for a moment. Did he really look that happy around Gintoki? Did he act the way he did when he was a teenager, flushed over Mitsuba's endearing smile?

"Do I really look that giddy or...childish around him?"

"No, Toshi. I said you look happy. You've never smiled like that around me. And he does make you happy, doesn't he?"

"...He does, actually...Um...Can we save this conversation for another time? We both really need to get back to work".

"Sure, sure. Maybe on your break. Don't be shy to gossip to me. I'm right here if you need someone to talk to about your feelings if Gintoki's not around. I'll see you later, alright, Toshi? Do your best today, although I wouldn't expect anything less".

"Thanks, Kondo-san...".

Kondo made his way out with his own coffee in hand, grabbing the doorknob before Yamazaki stepped inbetween the door frames with a big stack of files in his arms. He groaned and urked as the thick, sharp edges of the files pressed deeply into his stomach, and the weight of them put more pressure than needed on his arms and the bones tremouring within.

"Ugh...V-Vice-Chief, you-...You're paperwork, s-s-sir..Uagh...Sir? V-Vice-Chief? Hello?"

Yamazaki could barely see over the mountain of files, thus sacrificed the strength in his neck to peer out. What he saw left him quite speechless. Hijikata was not focused and prompt as per usual. He was caught up in a daze of his own thoughts, staring down at the clean surface of his desk - barely realising that he was missing his share of paperwork and records for the day.

"Vice-Chief, is-...agh...I-is everything alright?"

"Huh...?" Hijikata's head perked up, and he was back to normal...sort of. "Oh, Yamazaki. Excuse me. Come over here, I'll pick up what I need and, ah...You can take a short break. This must be killing your arms and back".

"Eh? R-really Vice-Chief? You've never...been that nice before. I dunno what to say sir-".

"You can get your ass over here for a start, before I change my mind and use your back as a footstool".

"Yes, sir! Right away, Vice-Chief!"

Yamazaki scurried over with the pain in his legs and back emphasised by the rush to get over to his Vice-Captain's side before he would be spending his break underneath his feet with the bumps in the carpet pressing in and irritating the skin of his palms. Hijikata picked out his share, flopping each file onto the desk and greatly lightening Yamazaki's load. He sighed in uttered relief.

"Haahh, thank you, Vice-Commander. But, er...It's probably none of my business but...Did the Chief say anything to you? You're acting a little...differently".

"How so?"

"Uah...!" His firm tone sent shudders of panic and fear through Yamazaki's body. He was never gonna get used to the Demon's tone or way of speaking to his colleagues. Not oppressing, or nasty, just firm - even if it wasn't intentional.

Yamazaki proceeded... "Ah, w-w-well...". With caution...

"Y'see, Vice-Chief, a lotta the men and women working here have noticed a change in you - not a bad change! Not at all! Just...You seem...lighter; like you're mood improves almost everyday, and you've really cut back on smoking. We can barely smell it in the break room anymore".

"Really...?"

"Haha, uh, yeah. Did something good happen with...Ah, Danna, perhaps? I, I know you guys are dating so...Maybe that has something to do with it?"

"...".

"I-it's none of my business, I guess. Um, can I still take that break?"

"Yes...!"

"Okay! Thank you! I'll drop these off and take a fifteen minute break. Have a nice day, Vice-Chief!"

Yamazaki rushed out of the room with the type of energy you see in a teenage boy on his way to his very first party, with alcohol and loose girls. He was thirty-two, and had never visited such a party. For a thirty-two-year-old...man, he was already going into the decline of energy...apparantly. So this enthusiasm rooted from the privelage of a fifteen minute break.

Hijikata...He sat back in his chair, swaying it around ever so slightly back and forth in thought. Kondo wasn't the only co-worker on the force who noticed this sudden tone in the "Demonic" Vice-Commander. Surprising. Usually the men and women considered Hijikata's thought process to be a puzzle. Nobody knew what he was thinking, until Gintoki arrived out of the blue as a...lover. And things were brighter. And, in addition, nearly everyone took notice and smiled along with their boss. Thinking that, it gave Hijikata goosebumps of cringe. But...A part of him couldn't find the strength to get irritated. Because then he'd think of Gintoki getting irritated and defensive in his place, around his own friends, and things were bright again.

Better have that talk soon, buddy. Otherwise you'll be bloated with excess sentiment and emotions that need to come out, before you burst...Hopefully not into tears. That's too much.

...

A second cup of coffee wouldn't kill Hijikata. Better than the cigarettes, to an extent. He stood in the break room during working hours, taking some time to speak with Kondo privately. He took up the offer to let his feelings out. If he could tell anyone confidentally, it was always Kondo. The man had a tendancy to spread the happiness openly, but when asked he could tell what was private and what could be shared as good news. And, as Hijikata said in the beginning of this talk, this was totally confidential.

"So...What is it you wanted to discuss exactly? Is everything going okay with you two?"

"Yes, Kondo-san, we're fine. Me and Gintoki are fine, but...I need to know something before getting any deeper into this: in what way have I...changed? You said I seemed happier, but how can you tell?"

"Hm, Toshi...I remember all the times that a peer walked into a bar, the office, even back at the dojo with a big smile on his face because he...y'know, lost his virginity or scored with a charming young lady the previous night".

"What's that got to do with...?"

"Ah-...I'm getting there. Hold your horses. So...That's them. Not you. You were never really interested in anyone after we left the dojo. I only ever saw you in a good mood around Mitsuba, and after we left you started frowning again. See, some men have one good night and walk in with a big grin. You, Toshi...You've been in a close, healthy relationship with someone for several months, and you show that you're happy in a subtle, almost peaceful way. And it's nice. We can see that you're happy when you don't frown as much, when you cut back on smoking, and when you suddenly bring in a specially made bento with no mayonnaise whatsoever".

"They took notice of that stuff?" Those tiny little details were easy to notice, huh? That was a little embarrassing, honestly.

"It's a nice change for the men and women working under you. To see their Vice-Chief in a happy relationship...It makes them proud, you could say. They respect you a lot, Toshi. Of course they'd take notice".

Weird, because somehow the strict, demonic Vice-Chief had an inkling that his co-workers hated him for some reason. Respect ran thin between Hijikata and the rest of the force, excluding people like Kondo and Saito. But the moment when his mood and attitude changes due to a relationship it's suddenly a case of "throw petals and tiny chocolates to the Vice-Chief and his man. We might have an early retirement on our hands, people!"

"Anyway, I think it's amazing how much you two have changed, in terms of your relationship. You two must be happy, for it to have a better influence on your work performance; better mood, less stress, and less smoking. He is the reason, right?"

"You could say that. We're good. We're definitely good".

"Just good? C'mon, gimme juicy details, Toshi. Believe me, this will be the only time I ask about the romantic relationship between two men, but go all out, since it's you".

"Um...Okay. I'm not quite sure what to say, though".

"How serious are you? What do you feel for Gin-san? Stuff like that...".

Sheepish, of course, but giddy. Couldn't hurt to be open about this stuff with Kondo. May have felt like they were a gossiping buncha girls. Hijikata kept that in mind...For a short while.

"Well, we get along really well, for a start. Gintoki's fun to be around, surprisingly enough. He-...He makes me smile...".

"Go on...".

"Er...Mm...I suppose...I suppose, by this point, I couldn't imagine just...waking up to anyone else - i-in such a good mood, I mean. And I...Hah, I guess I can't imagine going to bed with anyone else either. Sometimes, at work or maybe a stressful day in general, I can picture the nicest, most gentle parts of his facial features and the sensations I get when we hold eachother and kiss. Seeing his smile and that really rare glow in his eyes...It makes everything better".

A glance at Kondo, after accidentally falling into a giddy little daze, his expression rung a clear message. With that smile and raised eyebrows of total astonishment and disbelief, Kondo was obviously making suggestions that everything was more than "good" between them. Hijikata took a deep breath to clear up those lingering thoughts of bliss and numbness and instead kept his focus on the rest of the day.

"Right, er...I should...Work. I need to work...".

"Toshi...".

Walking out the door in a hurry was never an option. Taking one step, hearing Kondo calmly call out to him, he knew for a fact that getting away was never the right choice. So he stayed and stuck around for whatever Kondo wished to say next. Right now he looked proud of Hijikata. Very proud, like a father or older brother.

"How serious are things between you and him, right now?"

"Oh, I...I'm not sure. We've never really discussed...labels or the...near future or anything, if that's what you mean".

"Maybe you should talk about those things. I'm not the smartest man in this world, Hijikata, but I can definitely see right through you. I can see how you feel, and that you want to have a discussion like this with Gintoki because he means so much to you, and you won't let it slip by. Am I right?"

Hijikata didn't speak, but nodded respectfully, and bashfully.

"You two can talk about this stuff. If you really are crazy about eachother, it might be time to take one or two steps forward with your partnership. Now that isn't something you can force, but-...".

"I know, Kondo-san. Th-thank you. Really, thank you for listening to me. It means a lot to have someone to talk to about these private matters".

"And it's no problem at all. Talk to me any time you need to, and I'll listen. All my men - and women - deserve a good listener. As their boss, and a friend, I'll happily fill that role".

"That's very comendable, Kondo-san. Hm, no wonder you're the boss here".

"We should get back to work. Take care of yourself, and take good care of that business with Gin-san. I know you two can only become closer".

"Thanks again. I'll think it over...".

A buoyant slap on the shoulder and a smile that was just as optimistic and cheerful was contagious to some extent. When Kondo grinned in encouragement, Hijikata could only convey an awkward and sheepish smile. He watched Kondo's broad back leave the room, his smile spreading to anyone whom he passed. Hijikata's disappeared from a sigh, and he leaned back to the break room row of counters. Tapping his finger without thinking against his porcelain coffee mug, he let himself drown in thought once more. For a time he wasn't thinking about work. The way he described his affinity for Gintoki, it was quite out of character when looking at it from another person's perspective. To only wake up next to him...Pure bliss. To only fall asleep by his side...Comfort. To picture him and to imagine that they were still together...It left quite the impression of goosebumps across his skin. And from there he didn't know what to think.

"To move one or two steps forward...".

Thus far, they were neighbours. Right now they were still considered dating-...

Lovers...No. B-by now they were...lovers. Heh, "if it looks like a dog, sounds like a dog and smells like a dog, there's no way in hell that it's anything else". Sounded like something Gintoki would say in spite with a hint of sarcasm in his tone. Maybe that's what he'd say if they...talked about this. If Hijikata simply asked where their relationship was, maybe he'd be lucky enough to get a similar answer the moment he uttered the magic word "lovers".

...

...

The idea of disbelief had struck Hijikata as he stared into a full pack of cigarettes. When did he buy these? A few days ago at an ordinary vending machine while heading to the convenience store. If he really did quit then he had to stop himself from buying them. In the center of town, standing by a clothing store, he slid one out from the rest and placed it between his lips. Stuffing the pack back into his leather trench coat pocket, he then dug around for his lighter. Sparking it up he continued to wait patiently in the cold, watching the people go by with shopping bags in hand from the varies stores that surrounded the entire area. In the square, surrounded a hexagon of snow-coated benches - currently being dusted off by some kind of caretaker - was a very large and magnificant Christmas tree. The traditional pine-coloured tree with bright, multi-coloured lights and decorations that would be put through a factory by New Year's. He sighed once more as the winter chill got to him in one, swift breeze. Dusty, frosted vapour and smoke left his bluing lips and his foot tapped against the concrete impatiently.

This was the second time in two days when they had to stop in town for shopping. What was it this time? Hijikata had already finished his Christmas shopping, mostly. By the looks of things Gintoki still had to catch up. When he did leave the shop - finally - he was walking out with a proud and pleased smile, a big bag in his grasp.

"Sorry 'bout that". He said, catching a glance from Hijikata. "You must be freezing your ass off".

"Hn? N-no, I'm alright. Uh...Are you still Christmas shopping? Or was this it?"

"Pretty much. Just gotta wait for a couple packages to arrive at the apartment for the kids".

"Is that for me, then?" Hijikata asked with a suggestive, curious smirk, placing his cigarette back between his lips for another drag.

"Mmm...Maybe. Could be for me, for all you know".

"Since when did you like clothes shopping?"

"I don't...Until tonight. So, we getting beers or what? There's a bar down the street that serves sushi and has special tables if you want nabe dishes. Huh? You hungry?"

"We just ate".

"Two hours ago. And I feel like getting more food. Don't you judge me. Now, come on already, move your perky little butt".

Gintoki would have smacked Hijikata's ass to emphasise, but instead tapped the lower half of his back. As you can imagine, he didn't want to get shot by the cop as an act of self-defense. Yeah...

"Anywhere you wanna go before we get a drink?"

"Ahh...I need to get at least one present for Sougo, no matter what death trap he's gonna give me for Christmas".

"Che', yeah, sounds like him. So...Where did you wanna go?"

...

Out of all the places Hijikata could have stepped into to get a present, it was a music store. Was Okita a music fan? He was young, but you couldn't figure out his tastes by simply looking at his smug little face - aside from sadism and cynisism. Hijikata browsed the shelves of varies genres with a blank expression. And for a guy who doesn't like music that much, he certainly looked like he knew what he was doing.

"Oi, Hijikata...". Gintoki came up behind him...More like stuck by him at all times around the younger generation surrounding them, wandering around with ease. "I feel pretty old in here, can we leave? If not now, then soon?"

"Hey, relax. Just because a couple teenagers walk into a store, it doesn't mean we have to feel self-conscious about our age. They even sell music from when we were kids, although I didn't really listen to music then either. But I know Sougo likes some types of music. He can't afford an ipod or anything, so CD's are the best bet, ever since Kondo gave him is old one. I only hope the little shit knows how to feel grateful".

"Haah...Fine, take your time. But if one of these young brats so much as glances at me with a judgemental look, we are leaving".

Gintoki turned his back and wandered aimlessly to a random aisle. Much to his dismay, to avoid the awkward stares of adolescences, he ended up in a section specified for love songs. He was surprised the entire store was named "Sappy, Generic Shit-Pile". Still, he kept himself distracted. Even when looking at the list of songs on different covers, he recognised a few titles with a smile. Then his gaze shifted. He looked to the side, and normally he would have grimaced with disgust. But when his eyes found the happy, festive couple cuddling up by the same set of shelves, he paused. It was a man and a woman, as anyone would suspect. They were young, happy, full of life and definitely not afraid to show it. A more cynical Gintoki would carelessly think of them as a "retard couple" who thinks that an anime is a cartoon - no, wait, that's in the western culture. Over there they were simply a retard couple.

But he couldn't bring himself to crush their happiness in his own whacky, wonderful imagination. Know why?

"Never expected you to wander around this aisle".

"...?!" Gintoki jolted when Hijikata snuck up behind him shamelessly. "...Hijikata, don't do that. Asshole".

"My bad. But, what are you doin' over here? You're an old fogey, why not go back to the 80's section in the corner?"

"Shut it. I didn't wanna wander around like a doofus, so I'm standing here, waitin' for you to hurry up before the bar closes".

"Gintoki, aren't they open even after midnight?"

"I know. I'm just sayin' you're a slow shopper".

"...Anyway. Do you like this kind of music?"

"Not really. Recognise a few titles from anime, but that's it. Nothin' fit for my tastes".

"You don't even like music in general. Except for commercial jingles".

"You got that right".

Hijikata dared to pick up a few titles himself. And he smiled faintly when looking over the list of songs. Curious. It was curious how he could do that.

"Hm, hey, er...I might be the only one, but do you ever think that sometimes the song lyrics make sense?"

"...Well, yeah, over here. To an English-speaking person it's just nonsense, but it still somehow sounds good".

"That's not what I mean...".

"Over there, their modern lyrics are shit but to them it still sounds good. Over here we...We keep our own music. As cheesy as it might sound, at least it's not generic garbage".

"You've probably just offended a lot of music fans".

"I'm kidding, sort of. What were you saying?"

"Forget it. Doesn't matter". Hijikata stopped smiling and put down the CD, back in it's rightful spot.

"Oi, don't be like that. Hey, tell me what you were saying. I'm listening".

Hijikata sighed, rubbing his arms uncomfortably as Gintoki crossed his arms and actually paid attention with interest. Glancing at him, Hijikata nodded and continued without a pause. He must have known what he was going to say already.

"Okay, well, I feel like some of these songs - no matter how cheesy they can be...They make some sense to me now. Like, er, Arigatou by Kokia or...Shiawase no Arika by Local Connect".

"You like those songs?"

"Not necessarily, but...They make sense".

"When you're thinking of me?"

"...No, the bands and singers themselves. Of course I'm-...Of course I think about you. Is...Is that weird?"

"What? Nah...Nah, it's not weird. I'm flattered, but...".

"I'm not trying to flatter you. I'm being serious".

You could see it in his eyes, how he stared into Gintoki's sincerely without blinking. He had a calm, handsome expression. Left Gintoki in a state of speechlessness and...Well, the man was flushed. Not visibly, but flushed nonetheless.

"Haa, um...". Hijikata snapped out of it, waving his finger in the air as he tried to remember his original task. "I gotta...". He clapped his hands together..."I gotta find Sougo's gift. Won't be too long, okay? Then we can have drinks. I'll pay".

"No need for that. And no arguments. Hurry, go...do your thing".

"I will. Two minutes, I promise".

Home run, ladies and gentlemen. Toshi goes in for the kiss on the cheek, and scores big time. No shame could be seen on Hijikata's features as he publicly kissed Gintoki's cheek. The skin was once ice cold, but warmed up as soon as softened lips came into contact. No change in the crimson colour, but Gintoki could tell the different between a chill and a blush. He took a deep breath, focusing on - actually focusing rather than browsing - the stock. He glanced up, seeing the retard couple giving him "that" look. Except it wasn't judgement but an ironic expression of "get a room, homos" and "oh mer gerd, are they men?! Kissing?! Blech!" To which Gintoki politely replied...

"The hell are you lookin' at, dweebs?"

He shook his head, turning back to the shelves. Picking up a CD, turning it over, he looked over the lists with a pause. He then looked back to Hijikata without a word. When seeing that he was occupied, one more glance at the list of love songs was necessary. They made sense, huh? He considered listening himself to see if that was right. Who knows...Maybe the generic loves songs could make sense. He did trust Hijikata's opinion. Could trust his ears too...

...

The clink of several glasses and the roars of enthusiastic cheering was heard at the corner of the bar. On the other side, Gintoki and Hijikata sat quietly with a small serving of sushi rolls on their table and two glasses of beer in hand. They watched the men and women, probably celebrating from work, cheering and drinking. Maybe a birthday, engagement party, they didn't know. Wasn't their business. But it was a nice change of mood from "happy hour" at Otose's snack house or...any other bar anywhere.

"You think any of those people are hammered yet?" Gintoki asked with a smirk, taking a swig of his drink and licking his lips.

"Ha...Ah, I dunno. You can kinda see this...disgusting happiness on their faces, can't you?"

"Yep, they're wasted".

He took another big gulp of his beer and sighed, satisfied. Hijikata passed on a concerned look, but with a smirk, shaking his head.

"You'd better take it easy, otherwise you'll join them".

"Relax. I can't get drunk after one beer".

"No, but you get tipsy pretty easily, and then I'll have to carry you home".

"I wouldn't mind. I think I'd like to see you carry me bridal style if you have to".

"Not gonna happen. I'm not that strong".

"You sayin' I'm fat?"

"No...".

"Are you saying that muscle weighs more than fat? Ah? Is that it?"

"...".

"I'll shut up now...-I'm not tipsy, though. Not yet".

"Seriously, shut up".

Hijikata sat forward and put his drink down. He separated his chopsticks and decided to eat after all. But no more after this "snack", he called it. Gintoki, on the other hand, sat back with his drink after already munching on his fair share. He sipped and looked around the room, in awe of it's atmosphere. The holiday's were vastly approuching and people were already hyped for Christmas bonuses and Christmas specials, limited edition food items, the shopping and other forms of commercialism that makes Christmas what it is, putting aside the religious origins of the holiday for spending money on anything and everything that has the word "holiday sales" slapped on it. Then again, it was a nice time for the family to gather 'round and fight over hot pot and homemade eggnog.

"This is kinda nice, huh?" Gintoki asked.

"What is?"

"This, the holidays, the whole...idea of it. It seems like a pain in the ass to go through...In fact the whole day dedicated to all of this is the pain in the ass, but...I suppose it's a good excuse to spend time with loved ones. The first Christmas I had with Kagura and Shinpachi...I could see their faces bright up when they opened their first gifts from me. I had...never really seen that before, and it actually felt good. 'Course I didn't get anything in return because they were both broke, little shits, but it mostly felt good".

"For me it feels nice spending Christmas with the people I call family over a drink of sake and...a shitton of larceny reports when the stores close".

"That's your Christmas?"

"Not this year, since you invited me, but that's it basically. Before I became a cop, we didn't have much money. There was a middle-aged couple in town who owned a ramen place, and they kept it open for the boys from the dojo back in Yokohama. That was our Christmas up until we officially joined the force and started earning money".

"Wait...That middle-aged couple...Was that Pop's?"

"Yeah, it was. Old man was in his fifties when I first met him at...seventeen, eighteen years old".

"Holy shit...I met him around that age too".

"You're kidding...".

"No, I was looking for a part-time job and instead I found a really good place with good food and friendly faces. The meal was on the house too, first time I stepped in".

"Wow...I'm surprised we didn't ever run into eachother back then".

"Ah, I used to live in the slums area, so I traveled pretty far for a job".

"That explains it, then...".

Small world. But if they met then, they'd still tear each other's hair out - maybe worse, for being immature teens and all, going through stage upon stage of puberty. But, pretending that things were different and that they might have been friends, things probably wouldn't be the same as they were today. After all their relationship started from a fight and then really began with a smack in the balls. Would they only be drinking buddies today if things were any different?

Something had possessed Hijikata tonight. And it wasn't the excitement of the holdiays or the booze, but it was enough to make him lean on in and kiss Gintoki on the lips while he was good and vulnerable. Surprised, immediatly able to process the action, Gintoki was the one to back off and question what the hell that was.

"Wha-...What the hell was that? Since when do you like kissing in public?"

"I don't have a problem with it".

"Eh...?"

"Loo-...I don't. I don't give a damn anymore. I really, really don't".

"...Are you the tipsy one?"

"Is that the kind of impression I give off? Do I really seem that uptight and...square to you?"

"What, you? Uptight and square? No. Never~. But, hey, if you do want to do that sorta thing in front of all these people...Even though you're in uniform, then c'mere, big boy. Give daddy a kiss~".

Hijikata rolled his eyes and even still he leaned in a little closer and shut his eyes. Then, once again, Hijikata was interupted when Gintoki put his fingers over his lips. Opening his eyes, he furrowed his brow at the astonished expression on Gintoki's face, which was becoming a bit of a pain at this point. Just kiss!

"Wait, you're serious...It really doesn't bother you if people see?"

Hijikata smiled, though it was covered up. When pulling Gintoki's hand away, grasping it, kissing it, Gintoki could now see how serious Mr-Serious really was.

"I am. Kissing you, anywhere, whether at home, in public - anywhere at all...It doesn't bother me. And it shouldn't bother you either".

"Heh...You...You are full of surprises tonight. Is this Toushiro Hijikata, or are you turning into a more polite, suave, charming version of me?"

"Not in a million years, but I'll take that as a compliment anyway. Now, get over here before I change my mind".

"No, wait, there's the Toushiro Hijikata we all know. So fiesty and bossy".

"And there's the idiot Gintoki Sakata that we all know. Are you gonna kiss me or what?"

"Yeah, yeah, hold your horses. Here I come, Mister".

The moment was a bit rough after too many pauses and hesitations yet they happily kissed in public like a couple of teens at a summer festival. But who gives a damn? No one in this bar, except for the three young women sitting opposite their booth. Shocked expressions and utterings of "I told you so, I told ya they were gay". Yep that was a normal impression by this point.

Even if more people thought it was their business to stop and stare, the couple locked fingers beneath the table and nibbled teasingly on eachother's lips, sneaking in some tongue action behind locked lips. It tasted bitter and the thick aroma of beer persistently lingered until they parted and left it at that; fingers still locked, resting between them on the booth's leather seat. No one gave a damn. In a sense it was a little disappointing, but as long as there was no hate speech all was well and good.

"You sure you're okay?" Gintoki asked, humoring Hijikata's actions a little as he was somewhat acting out of character. "You've been acting weird...You're so open about...us and...What we do outside of home".

"It's not a big deal, Gintoki. If I want to kiss you or hold hands with you in public I will. People can stare all they like, it doesn't scare me. They can think all they want, too. Still not gonna get to me".

"Wow. Says the guy who refused to have sex with me in the middle of the day".

"You sprung it on top of me...".

"Quite literally".

And the real Hijikata sprung an unamused face at that.

"It's...different. Besides, we did do it in the day, remember? Not that long ago".

"Hm, yeah...You were so gorgeous I could hardly bear it".

"...".

"What? You are gorgeous. Why'd you think I sketched you so...artistically?"

Hijikata lightly smacked Gintoki's arm, telling him not to get so full of himself, out of embarrassment of his own sexy, alluring portrait stored in a very safe place within Gintoki's bedroom.

"...Want me to do it again?"

"Heh, I...I dunno".

"You'll look twice as gorgeous, I promise".

"I'll-...I'll think about it".

"Great. Great, great, great". On the side of that triple "great" Gintoki kissed his hand three times excitedly. Slow down, pal, no one's getting sketched tonight or the next day. "Now I'm excited. Am I getting an early Christmas or what?"

"...".

No response. But Gintoki did notice a smile before Hijikata took another swig of his drink. An early Christmas indeed. Gintoki held his bottom lip back when thinking of his future portraits. Gave him pleasant chills. And Hijikata was willing to do another one, so-...

"Ayaka, when are you gonna get yourself a man?"

The girls at the opposite table on the other side of the room were intending to speak only between themselves, but were failing as Gintoki could hear almost every word. He didn't really care to eavesdrop, but a particular sentence within their conversation caught his attention quickly. Just as he tried to drown them out, drinking away, he heard it.

"I don't really care to-".

"Oh, c'mon. Take those cute lovers over there. They seemed really happy, kissin' in public and all - and they're guys".

Didn't need a detective to tell Gintoki that they were refering to well...Hijikata and himself. Being the only same sex couple occupying the bar (as far as the eye could see), it was quite obvious. That word again..."Lovers". It had come up several times, especially over the past few days for some reason. Well, not for "some reason". The reason was that, by now, that label was stuck onto Gintoki and Hijikata's relationship even when they hadn't used it themselves. And he dared to ignore it - only for a second, though.

Ever since he and Hijikata got more serious he...He started to lose interest in the opposite sex. Even speaking to another woman who wasn't a friend brought out this festering sense of guilt. It was unpleasant. Of course, he could still say a woman was attractive and he could find interest in her, but he knew that there was nothing there. He felt no urges to flirt or express physical attraction to her. The only one who received that treatment was...Hijikata, but in a sweeter, gentlemanly way. Like now...Telling Hijikata that he was gorgeous, sketching his portraits, getting excited over more portraits...

One partner...No attraction to anyone else...Just Hijikata...

About time he put two and two together...Although, he should have done so months ago...

It should have been obvious long before today...So what the hell kept him back?

...

A night on the sofa, with the heating on, in the quiet, darkened room, wasn't so bad. A couple lamps were on, a big blanket and a cuddle was enough to warm them up. For a short a while, and then off to bed under thick coverlets, wearing sweaters and sweatpants to block out the lingering chill in the air. At some point they had not only gotten wrapped up in a silky-soft blanket but another kiss, only deeper and more heated. Hijikata took the initiative again and was oddly enthusiastic tonight. Gintoki did try to swerve his head out of the way, but having a clump of his hair in Hijikata's grasp made things more difficult. He could barely resist though, what with the whole night draining him of energy. With Hijikata persistently poking and sucking on his tongue, he sort of...took it for a while. His heart was racing and his cheeks were burning up, but he didn't have enough energy to get excited... 

"Mmph! Mn-...Fwahh! Haah...Haa, Hijikata, cut it out...". He said, swallowing, resting his head on Hijikata's shoulder. "I don't have the energy for this tonight. Besides...Haa...Kagura's sleeping upstairs, so we can't-...Y'know...".

"I know, I know. Sorry. I'm getting ahead of myself".

"You've been like this all night. You say it's nothing but...".

"It really is nothing. I only want to show you more affection, that's all".

"Mm...". Gintoki mumbled suspiciously, his eyebrow cocked. Then he closed his eyes and sighed peacefully, nuzzling his nose into the soft fabric of Hijikata's sweater. Like cotton...But with this thick, sweetened scent. "Mmm...". He moaned again, only with a dazed and dizzy attitude to it.

"Can't we rest?" He asked quietly.

"Mm-hm, 'course. One second".

They adjusted their positions with little effort. Gintoki had to raise his head and shuffle comfortably as Hijikata sat back on the sofa, before he could let him relax once more. Two deep, relieved sighs left them, and this safe, cosy feeling lingered even when they moved positions. If anything this was better. Gintoki wrapped both arms around Hijikata's sides, his cheek crushed into his shoulder like a hardened but comfty cushion. He yawned also. As much as he didn't want to fall asleep on the couch, at risk of a cold, it was surely tempting to melt into this position with Hijikata as his pillow and blanket. So soft and warm...Right now he wished winter would end quickly, and for good reason.

Stroking soft, silver locks, Hijikata planted a kiss within them, lowering his second kiss to Gintoki's temple and sending shivers down his legs from the lovely sensation.

Gintoki licked his lips - although that might not have been wise due to the cold but anyway -...There had been...quite a few events that had got him thinking. If it was with Hijikata, he had no reason to hide his feelings, even if he decided to...beat around the bush a little.

"Hey, Hijikata...". He began, settling into their snuggle with ease as he started to get his thoughts off his chest and out of his head.

"Hm...?"

"Do you ever think about how we were before? The yelling, the fights, the constant competitiveness that seemed to make up our entire series of interactions...Do you ever miss it, maybe? Or is that a crazy idea?"

"It's not crazy...Odd, but not crazy. Umm...I haven't thought about it, no. Even back then I tried not to think about it. Whenever I did, I'd get frustrated and light a cigarette".

"Ah...".

"Don't worry, I wouldn't necessarily do that now. I think it's...more embarrassing than frustrating now".

"Why embarrassing?"

"Because of the way we are now; we're...in quite the relationship now and I care about you. I...cherish you a lot more than I did back then. I feel stupid for getting into petty arguments and contests with you".

"Haha...Yeah, it - It was stupid, but...I dunno, I kinda miss it. A part of me was...having fun when I riled you up and we got into some form of competition".

"I never really thought of it that way".

"Well it wasn't all doom and gloom with us, was it? As much as we disagreed we still somehow made a pretty good team".

"Hm, I-...I guess we did, sometimes".

"Hah, like-...Like the time we were handcuffed together".

"Oh, don't remind me".

"Why? You embarrassed?"

"Well, yeah. That was...It was...".

"Really gay?"

"Yes, it was really, really gay".

Such a softened expression, from a man who was prone to frowning. Somehow this face looked younger, yet still mature - especially his eyes. Since their first kiss, it was always the eyes that appeared so attractive and radiant with beauty. A deep, dark ocean colour. These eyes had witnessed so much, yet they continued to shine. The same could be said for the deep maroon in Gintoki's. No longer did his eyes appear to be so dead, but more alive than ever. 

"...I think things are better this way". Hijikata muttered, inhaling into Gintoki's hair, kissing his head once again. "We're happier like this, aren't we? As much as the old days were fun at times and make up a lot of my memories with you, I'm so much happier to see you and not get angry. I'm happy to be close to you and be intimate and affectionate with you, y'know?"

"Mm...Yeah, you're-...You're right. It's...weird to think that things might go back to the way they were".

"Realistically, we can't say that for sure. In a week or a month you could start tearing my hair out again".

"And you could start trying to get at my throat again".

Those were extreme statements, yet they smiled, and Hijikata brushed loose stands from Gintoki's face. Going back to the way things were; a joke. A mere joke. As vivid as those memories were, it seemed unlikely that their relationship would ever take another ugly turn like that. They had their ups and downs, but getting at each other's throats again...Mm, unlikely...Unless they ever broke up. Such a thought had never actually crossed their minds, and at this point it never would. End of story.

Carassing Gintoki's cheek, Hijikata flinched, his smile gone.

"You're chilled to the bone". He pointed out with concern, but not in a panicked way. "Wanna go to bed now? You look like you need it".

"Sure, sure. You're freezing cold too, so off to bed it is. Tell ya what: I'll make some hot water bottles. That should help".

"Why don't I get them?"

"Do you know where the hot water bottles are?" Gintoki asked, knowing the answer, hiding a smirk away as he stood up from the sofa.

Hijikata hesitated, but..."...No, not really. But if you tell me-".

"Not happening. Go to bed and I'll meet you there. Some of your clothes are in that spare drawer - the one I always keep for ya".

"Fine, but I'm still helping you with laundry tomorrow".

"You don't have to".

"Yes I do". Hijikata stood up in protest, as if to somehow emphasise his point and start an argument here. An argument? Oh shit...

"It's fine. I can handle all the laundry myself".

"You have work. I'll help, that way it gets done faster".

"Didn't you bring paperwork home today? You also have work, which is more important".

"Gintoki-..."

"Don't fight me on this one. Whatever it is, I'll win".

"-Hey, we just discussed this. I'm not fighting you - there is no fight. I'm pointing out the fact that if we get through the laundry together, it'll be easier

"What are you, my wife?"

"...There isn't even a fight here. What, if I win we do the laundry together and get it done faster and if you win you handle all your own laundry - and mine?"

"...Yeah, there's no logic in that, is there? But I still don't want to keep you from doing your work".

"You won't be. It'll take an hour at the most, and I can do paperwork afterwards, before I go to the station for my afternoon shift".

"Alright, then. Fine...".

"Good. See? I won". Hijikata swiped the blanket from the sofa, smirking in his own little victory when heading to bed. Gintoki, on the other hand, was shocked.

"Ah! I thought you said there was no fight!"

"Now there is".

"No fair! Oi, bastard, I want a re-match!"

"For what?"

"Doesn't matter! We'll do it, I'll win, the end! Are you even listening?!"

Barely. Some things never change. Or it could have been nostalgic, in a way. Some really weird and irritating memories popped up yet Hijikata could smile when thinking about them. Even Gintoki himself released his past stress that mainly revolved around Hijikata and instead sighed and smiled it off when he received no replies to his challenges. Receiving the same affection, seeing no furrowed brow or wrinkles on Hijikata's forehead even when their past came up, it became so goddamn obvious that things had really changed between them. Gintoki, for the time being, kept his thoughts to himself. After all this time they had definitely become...lovers.

...

Present Day...

...

Here he was again, but with his head stuck in the clouds. He coughed, waving his hand frantically in front of his face, hunching over slightly when the cigarette smoke got to him. For someone who lost his addiction to these things a long time ago, he apparently lost his taste for them. It was unpleasant, to say the least, and left a nasty after-taste in his mouth. He crushed the remaining butt into Hijikata's ashtray. With his tongue prickled with numbness and his head light, he refused to light another again. And he thought it would make for an "inspiration aphrodisiac", as he would say. Well it no longer worked. He was too old and too tired to take the tar and smoke festering into his clean lungs.

The festering sensations lingered around his skin too, like oil or grease. Frankly, to put it into simple terms, it felt so, so gross and a shower was the most ideal thing for him right now. He needed to wash away the filth of nicotine and the two-second pleasure he felt from it. Disgusting. Waving his hands around his desk, he cleared the air and decided to take a clean, non-toxic breather; away from the work and away from his laptop until he and Hijikata did the laundry. Did that count as a date? Doing laundry? There were one or two occassions when they visited a laundromat together. Another date where they simply talked and worked away like old people. 'Course, at some point, Gintoki got a little touchy-feely with Hijikata while they waited ever-so patiently for the machines to stop spinning. Hugging him from behind, swaying their hips together impatiently until they resorted to sitting on the unused, unmoving machines when most of their energy was exhausted. They were like a married couple... 

Gintoki stretched, put the "Dango Daikazoku" song into his head, hummed it - just to put those thoughts to the side, and keep them there. Suddenly it was very strange to think their relationship had gone so far. Gintoki couldn't really get it out of his head, no matter how hard he tried. Yet somewhere, he reached a blank and the other thoughts would play in a loop. That blank space was a question in Gintoki's head. A simple one yet with so many unclear and vague answers...

How do I feel about him, exactly?

A question like that hadn't come up since the start of all this. This time it was different. And scary. So the loop would begin again.

"I like him", "he'so so fucking sexy", "best I've ever had", "I understand him", "he understands me", "we think alike", "we have our differences, but who cares?", "it's great", "he's amazing", "so beautiful", "so radient", "I don't need to be with a woman to be happy", so on and so forth, so on and so forth.

The more these thoughts appeared, Gintoki had the sudden sensation that he was risking something; walking a thin tight rope, and the goal was the very core of his feelings for the man he used to dislike so much. He couldn't go back to that, yet he hesitated to go forward. So he was stuck in the middle of this emotional tightrope. Why, though? What was keeping him back? The idea that his feelings could go so far? That Hijikata's affect on him was like a deep, burning scorch in the heart? The answer up until this point seemed so clear, yet he held back from reaching out to them. Why?

When the front door opened that morning, Gintoki forgot that he should have been expecting an entrance. He found himself standing in a daze, hands sweating within his pockets, his vision suddenly a blur due to the shock of Hijikata coming in through the door with two big laundry sacks hanging over both shoulders. He dumped them on the floor and passed a greeting to Gintoki in haste. When he clapped his hands together, ready and waiting to get started, he had to put that readiness on hold for Gintoki to catch up.

"Where's the ironing board?" He asked, looking around, obviously unable to see it. "Gintoki, how come you're standing around? Aren't we doing this today?"

"Uh, y-yeah, sorry, I...". He swayed his hand, pointing to his laptop - shut off now, but before he had a blank page and everything. "I was trying to squeeze some work in before you got here, but it didn't work out and now we...have no ironing board. I'll go get it now".

Gintoki went for their main storage closet by the downstairs bathroom, fishing out their ironing board. Everything had been taken to the laundromat, washed, put in their dryers and now they had to be straightened out before storage because...Hijikata doesn't like creases. Saying that, seeing how much dust the frames of this board had collected, obviously Gintoki didn't give two shits about creases. Looks like he was also "straightened out" by his clean-freak partner. Hah. Ironic.

The board was set up and dusted off. An iron was filled with hot water and set upright for use. The clothes were unloaded onto the comfortable seats in careless piles, soon to be composed into neat stacks and categories of shirts, sweatpants, ordinary pants, underwear, etcetera. Hijikata doesn't have OCD, we swear to god he doesn't.

Hijikata worked the board first while Gintoki awaited his task to fold and organise. This was...weird. Do couples do this? Are they given specific jobs for chores? And did they swap? Hijikata got on with it quietly. And Gintoki watched him quietly. His previous concerns and thoughts were distant. All he was thinking about was a slim figure and how Hijikata's hair was growing longer again - almost covering his nape. Gintoki took a deep, tempted inhale as he leaned in to approuch and distract Hijikata for a couple minutes. Sure was deliciously tempting, having been sitting on the sofa's armrest, waiting to work. When he did build the backbone to get up and divert Hijikata from his task, he was handed a straightened out shirt.

So he folded, flattened it out and set aside the item to begin his stack. He waited as Hijikata quickly whizzed through ironing boxers and boxer briefs until he came to the pants. This is when Gintoki grabbed his opportunity, by the hips, wrapping around them, inhaling softly. Hijikata wasn't stunned by the action. His facial expression lacked such an emotion, and instead he rolled his eyes and tried to shoo Gintoki away, especially when the kissing started. On his neck; a rather sensitive area for Hijikata.

"Gi-Gintoki, c'mon, sto-...Haa, stop it. I'm serious. Let's get this done".

"I honestly can't stand the silence, so, no. I'm not budging. This is what we do in the laundromat, in front of all those little old ladies and single fathers".

"No, this is what you do. I try to shoo you off, like now".

"So, what, kissing in public is fine but getting cuddled in front of a couple people is now forbidden?"

"Tha-...I never said that. And it's different. When I kissed you last night, it was because we were on a date and I didn't mind showing affection towards you. In places like the laundromat, when we're doing chores, it doesn't feel right. And it's not the kinda place where you would normally act like a...like that".

"Why not? I thought we were on a date, and there's no reason why two people can't be all affectionate in a place like that".

"All the grandmas were staring - that's a good reason. And the elderly are a lot more judgemental, believe me".

"Aww, poor baby". Gintoki laid out more kisses across any exposed parts of skin, specifically the crook of Hijikata's neck, his ear and the very nape of his neck, past the hair.

"Could you cut it out? I don't want to fry your clothes".

"Don' care, I'll buy new ones. I've got plenty of money, don't worry about it". Gintoki was left in a daze, shedding wet little kisses, even more tempted to leave a mark. Oh no, Mister. No one's getting frisky here.

"That's not the point. What if I burn myself?"

"Then watch what you're doing, idiot".

"You're the idiot. Now step back".

"If you beg I might".

"Are you kidding?"

"Huhu, yeah, I'm fuckin' with ya. Gimme one kiss and then I'll leave you alone".

Hijikata sighed, failing miserably to hide a smile. He had no choice but to set the iron upright, turning his head, waiting for Gintoki to come get his kiss. A slight peck, and Gintoki was satisfied. But...Hijikata paused, his eyebrows furrowing. That...taste...

"Uh, Gintoki...Have you been smoking?"

"Uh! Uhh...". My man, maybe you should have thought about that before bothering Hijikata for a kiss. "Um, I...Y'know what, I'm gonna stay over here and do my job. Promise I won't bother you. C-carry on, I'll wait".

No point scolding him. That'd surely be hypocrisy. The smoker telling a guy who quit months ago to stop smoking? Yeah, what logic was in that really? So Hijikata continued with his task, and Gintoki continued with his. Hopefully not in silence. He didn't lie about that. The silence inbetween this chore was quite unbearable...But for how much longer?

...

Gintoki dumped the last neat little piles into the drawers with a deep sigh. All done, and with time to spare before Hijikata could go off to work. So when all was quiet and there wasn't an item of clothing or ironing board in sight, Gintoki finally made his move and invaded whatever private space Hijikata had left. He took him by the hand...

"C'mere...".

And pulled him down into the corner lounge chair of the bedroom. A big, puffy beige thing that sunk on impact. It was big enough for two. Nothing like a sofa, they were squished together when seated. Even Hijikata could convey the relief he felt after all the work was done. 

"Much better...".

"Mm...".

"How long until you have to go to work?"

"...An hour".

"Perfect...".

"Hm? Why-...if you want "that", then-".

"Wha-No! Don't think so lowly of me...Stay put".

Gintoki stood up from his sinking throne, leaving Hijikata with all the space until he returned. Only then was the bulky plastic bag visible in the room, hiding in the corner behind a small bookshelf facing the foot of the bed. Gintoki kneeled before it, picking out a random, mysterious item from it. A magazine. But upon closer inspection, when Gintoki settled back down onto the sinking cushion of the seat, this magazine was clearly outdated - from a couple years back when summer sales were still running in clothing stores.

"Uh, okay, this is where you explain the old magazine".

"Granny gave me a whole bunch of them at the office yesterday".

"Why exactly? I'm confused...". Your expression says it all, Hijikata.

"Lemme explain already. Jesus...In these magazines there are old, untouched crossword puzzles and, well, I thought...".

"Oh...". Finally, a smile. Cute. So, so cute. "I see...You wanna sit down and do one...together...". That wasn't a question. He knew. He knew and nodded and went along with this fresh little idea of Gintoki's. Maybe then they'd feel like a real couple...

"You wanna?"

"Hah...". Hijikata appeared embarrassed and uncertain. What was this really? A past-time or a nice, shared fantasy for them to fufill together in peace and quiet? It was a good idea. "Yeah, okay...Okay. Let's, er, do it, then".

"Great. Wow, heh...Who knew you could get cold feet over a crossword puzzle?"

"Hah...".

Was this weird? Perhaps a ficticious scenario in their heads gone too far? - Despite being such an innocent and carefree activity. They were going along with it anyway. Maybe make this a thing when it stopped feeling awkward and embarrassing. 

The pages were flipped. Old, out-dated advertisments caught their eye for about a second until a puzzle came up around the middle section of the magazine. They moved in close. Close enough for Gintoki to feel the radiating heat from Hijikata's cheek and breath touch his neck. And that scent came back, stronger than before. Gintoki had his arm around Hijikata's back, and together they looked over the lined squares and...

"Wait, this isn't a crossword...". Didn't take long to see that, though. "This is sudoku...".

"And...?"

"I can't play this game for shit".

"Oh, sure you can. It's easy. I mean, it's no crossword puzzle, but...Could still be fun".

"No, let's-...Let's look for a crossword, with japanese characters and riddles and-".

"Is it really too hard for you? I could finish these things in seconds".

What a bold exaggeration. Gintoki stared with doubt, his eyebrows raised. And thus Hijikata sighed and furrowed his brow as Gintoki's lack of a reaction dug deeply. Deeply into his exaggerated boasting.

"Fine. Not seconds, but I can finish it quickly enough as a pass-time".

"Since whe-...Since when do you play Sudoku?"

"Since before we started dating and I had days off from work. It's hard spending any time outside when your friends are working. So I would browse the internet and the rest is history".

"You miss that alone time?"

"Sometimes, I've gotta be honest. But I prefer stuff like this a lot more".

"What, this? Just...hanging out, doing puzzles...".

"Yeah. Just this".

They had long since established the enjoyment and pleasure they experienced from simply lounging around together, doing this or that. Not once did the simple things ever seem dull. Relaxing and lazy but not dull. Even as a pastime, the concept of laying around and doing this puzzle together like a middle-aged couple seemed so good, and healthy for a relationship. And if it was with Hijikata then it actually might have been somewhat fun. Otherwise they'd kill each other over the challenge. 

Sighing briefly, once a pause was taken, Gintoki rattled around the end table drawer for a pen, the one right beside him - some without caps and some without ink. He picked one out, scribbled on the very corner of the page to make sure it was a working pen and began...hesitantly.

"Okay. Okay...Um...Where do I start?" 

"Anywhere. All the rows and lines, both horizontal and vertical, have to go from numbers one to nine without using the same number twice". 

"Oh Jesus...Okay, then. Can I guess?" 

"Go for it. Although this is more of a pencil and eraser kinda game if...". 

"No, I can handle it. With your help". 

"Yeah, with my help. Now...".

Hijikata was the most enthusiastic. And that was an emotion far-gone from this guy. A lovely image; to see him so excited about a puzzle with Gintoki as his partner. Of course the Vice-Commander doesn't require much help, but in case he did Gintoki was his second wheel. Always willing to be his second wheel. Already he was filling in numbers, yet he waited for Gintoki's input on the next one. He asked Gintoki what he thought and encouraged him to get his ass and brain in gear. And, really, he wanted to. Maybe this activity wasn't so lazy after all. But the idea wasn't a bad thing. It didn't feel like the biggest drag on Gintoki's day. 

... 

"Wait, why can't I put a six in there?"

"Because there's already a six in the box. It's better to try and focus on the vertical and horizontal rows, y'see? For this, if you look at it, it's better putting in a-oh I dunno-a nine. See?" 

When looking over the problem, and even any potential obstacles, Gintoki could see that Hijikata was right. He hated to admit it most of the time, but not today. He looked at Hijikata with a faint smile, grasped his chin and muttered... 

"God, you are so smart". Before kissing his vulnerable lips in praise. "So fuckin' smart". 

"Okay, we're almost done. We'll get there eventually. Just a few more and-...What?" 

Eventually Hijikata took his mind off of sudoku when he realised Gintoki had been staring at him. At first a momentary glance. But that glance went on for several short seconds and turned into the act of staring at Hijikata with a dazed but pleased appearance. That face...It made Hijikata's heart pound. So handsome, but in a messy, tousled kind of way. Endearing. Light-hearted. Now he was staring right back. Not thoughtfully. They were quite distracted by eachother. That moment of silence and admiration could have broken when Hijikata dared to cup Gintoki's cheek. But, no. It continued. In fact they were only pulled into eachother further. Wrapping his arms around Gintoki's shoulders, Hijikata rested their foreheads together. Gintoki accepted the gesture with open arms; quite literally as he pulled Hijikata in by another inch or two. They were squashed together comfortably. Bangs were shifted from eyes, skin was caressed and overall there was this glow between them - chemistry. Real chemistry. 

"This is really nice". Commenting the obvious, Hijikata. You're commenting the obvious, to which Gintoki let out a faint chuckle. 

"Hah, yeah, it actually is. It really is. It's-...sudoku and I'm having fun, 'cause it's with you. Does that still sound weird to say?" 

"No, it's not weird. Doesn't sound that weird to me. It is fun being with you". 

"Same to you, buddy. I swear to god, the amount of times I've done something like this with you - it feels like I can't stop smiling". 

"Mm-hm, exactly. That's what it feels like...".

"And it doesn't look or feel strange". 

"Not at all. Though, Gintoki...I believe we've definitely gone past the point where nothing we do as a couple feels out of the ordinary. As far as I'm concerned, this is our relationship now. We talked about this: I don't see things going backwards for us...". 

The words faded. Almost as if Hijikata was suddenly under the impression that everything he was saying was crossing some sort of line. That he was going too far with words. But he didn't take it back. Instead he took a breath and waited for Gintoki to speak. He did. And it was the kind of response that Hijikata expected. 

"So what does that mean? That we...only move forwards?" 

Hijikata nodded. "Yeah...". But did find the will to speak. 

Another breath, lips pressed in Gintoki's big shoulder, near to the base of his neck. When pulling away from that his heart tightened, and finally...He decided to put his feelings into words; a relfection of what Kondo was talking about. 

"Um...I have to ask these things, because it's been getting to me the past few days, and the only way I can get rid of these thoughts is if we discuss them. I've been meaning to talk to you about this stuff, and only now do I feel like I've found the words. Heh, although...It shouldn't have taken so long to ask...Where do you think our relationship is right about now?" 

Here it was. Great minds think alike, always. They both came to same question over the past few days. And it rung a bell somewhere, saying that they should have been talking about it instead of hesitating like the idiots they were. This was finally it. A discussion. A well-needed discussion. 

"Uh...Well...I've been thinking a lot too, about all of this. It only just sparked with me recently". 

"Okay...?" 

"You know I'm a big fan of Ana Ketsuno, right? I remember my old reactions towards her whenever she appeared on the T.V. I would get so excited and say she was hot - or whatever. But, it didn't excite me as much as it did before. And it's the same with other women. If I end up speaking to a woman - it's fine. But if I feel like she's flirting or if I'm flirting unintentionally, I feel guilty". 

"What...?" 

"I feel guilty about it at times; like I'm doing something terrible to you. And suddenly it got me thinking about all the other women that I would get excited over. It wasn't really there as much as it used to be. And I'm not blaming it on old age or anything. It's more like...It's the fact that I don't really need anyone else, I think. The person I've been focusing on is you, and I've discovered so much about intimacy and real romance with you. It is real...And it's mine. And I don't think I can imagine having that with-...anyone else".

Sincerity. An emotion that Gintoki rarely ever showed. Yet now he was looking directly at Hijikata with no intention to avoid his eyes or the discussion in question. And their thoughts were intertwind. They were in the same place. 

"I see...Well-". 

"Hijikata...". 

Gintoki spoke once more, pulling Hijikata's hand from his shoulder to simply grasp it and caress the skin in comfort and to boost his confidence, perhaps. A man like him wouldn't normally need it, but this was an entirely new situation before them. No matter how scary and different it appeared to be it didn't change the fact that they were adults who could communicate their feelings openly, as a couple. 

"I, er...I believe this is what they call a "serious relationship", when two people have so much more than dates and sex. It's...We're...". 

"Lovers...We're lovers, aren't we?" 

Gintoki was taking as many deep breaths as he could handle to balance the pressure he felt within the sweat of his palms and the goosepimples growing on his skin. Nodding, he accepted that fact too. 

"That's what this is. This is how far we've come...I dunno, it...It makes me feel older than I am. Like I'm settling down or something; accepting that there's only one person in my life whom I'd ever get so close to, intimatly. That's you, Hijikata. And it has been for a while, now that I think about it". 

"...Do you love me?" 

"...". Gintoki paused. He had not taken it to heart; not the thought of falling in love with Hijikata, that is. Until now. Though he should have taken such deep feelings into consideration months ago. Only now did his own words reflect on his inner emotions and attachments to the man cuddling up to him at this moment, asking this question as seriously as possible. But there was anxiety too. A tremor in his voice - one Gintoki had never ever heard before. Not from Hijikata. 

"Does that scare you?" Hijikata asked this during Gintoki's pause, to make sure he hadn't made a huge mistake by asking a question like that. 

"No. Does it scare you to think that...you might love me?" 

"A little. I haven't-...felt that way since Mitsuba - and...And now I have you, and...It feels like I'm taking another giant step in my life. One I never thought I would take again and-". 

"But do you love me?" 

What had...originally begun as a question about the state of their relationship had suddenly sunk deeper into a question of love. Several months ago, such a question would have been insane. The answer - obvious but in a negative way. But looking at everything they had been through, the answer was right on the tip of their tongues, waiting so desperately to be spoken out loud. There was hesitation, yes. Only because this scene was like a goddamn sky-dive for them. The experience was scary, but it had to be worth it in the end - and by god...Everything up until this point...That first kiss was worth all of it. No matter how scary it was. 

"...I think so".

The answer was coy, yet certain. Hijikata had his confidence in that. And he wasn't afraid. Anxious, but not afraid. And he seemed about ready to be honest, and come to terms with everything he had been feeling up to this point. 

"Wow...". 

"I know. Crazy, huh?" 

In the span of a five second pause, both men went down a more easy-going, light-hearted road as if they had expected such a confession for longer than five minutes. They put on smiles, pretending - no, embracing the fact that neither of them were really baffled. Such a big confession suddenly didn't feel so ground-breaking. 

"How long? Uh...Do you know how long you might have felt that way?" 

"Quite a while. I could feel it, but the words weren't there, y'know? I could never really describe it. But, from previous experience, I'm pretty sure that my heart goes nuts around you and my thoughts go numb whenever we hug or kiss because...Because I've fallen for you. Harder than I ever thought I would". 

"...". 

"Hah, you, uh...You scared yet?" 

"...No. Not at all. It, ah...It makes me happy to hear you say those things. I guess you want me to be more than a partner, huh? Like you're...boyfriend? - dare I say it". 

"I never thought about using that word, but I guess so. My...boyfriend. Ugh, it feels so...". 

"Yeah...". 

"-Normal and lovey-dovey-". 

"It really does". 

Wasn't this supposed to be more...dramatic? It was a discussion, instead. A discussion and then a confession laced through the serenity and cosiness of this place - their position and mood. It felt right. The dam holding off their feelings, known formally as pride and uncertainty, had collapsed yet their emotions did not pour thereafter. An easy-going stream of honestly spoken words ran right through this relaxed atmosphere as they both came to the conclusion that things were never really going to be the same. That they were taking a massive leap onto the next "stage of their relationship" by coming out of their figurative closet and admitting that everything that they had felt for each other up until this moment had boiled down to such a simple phrase with such a deep meaning behind it. And when looking into each other's eyes, when knowing how good and healthy this was, any fear they could have felt by being in this situation had disappeared into dust. 

"You know, I think we're on the same boat here". 

"Really...?" 

Gintoki nodded. Rubbing Hijikata's back, he nodded in confidence. 

"Really. Feels weird to think that things could go so far with us, but it also feels so good. I really feel like I'm settling down - and that is weird. Isn't it? It's just so-". 

"Gintoki...". 

"...What I'm trying to say is...As crazy as it sounds, you're the only man that's had such a huge impact on me in the past nine months. And I never thought I'd come to love you this much, either...Because that's-...That's what it is".

"..." 

Warm hands cupped hot, ever-so-slightly flustered cheeks. Without his facial expression flinching, Hijikata stared longingly at Gintoki's features, and not once could he doubt the sincerity in those eyes or the embarrassment presented on his cheeks, which was too endearing for words. In seconds, as he took his pause, there came a beeping from Hijikata's pocket. An obnoxious interruption that would surely pull Hijikata's attention away as work was obviously beckoning him to stop whatever he was doing for his afternoon shift.

But it was ignored. 

As the beeping rang on, Hijikata's hands remained still. With the longing stuck in place, and the pounding of his heart souring to his thoughts, Hijikata leaned in and shut his eyes on instinct. Gintoki was prone to do the same, as his own instinct whenever Hijikata was clearly taking the lead. Their noses brushed together; warm and squashed for a mere moment as their lips were brought closer together. 

Hijikata, with his lips, nipped Gintoki's bottom one and then, with confidence, pressed on, quite literally. There was tension, and a very strong scent of natural male musk. It's what attracted them to each other the first time they kissed. This sense of comfort from it, as well as the familiarity with the sensation of each other's lips and the ticklishness for Gintoki's puffy bangs against Hijikata's forehead as they moved in closely to each other. Hijikata inhaled deeply, sliding his tongue past sheepishly parted lips without a second thought. And Gintoki's face flushed with pleasure. Somehow the kiss felt really good today. The sense that no one else could create such smooth chemistry in a simple act of affection. The only dis-heartening part was when Hijikata forced himself to take his lips away. 

It turned out to be a simply smooch with nearly no heat and only an after-taste of pure affection and pleasure. Hijikata looked down, aiming his gaze at Gintoki's chest awkwardly before sighing and finally reaching for the beeper. To confirm that work was calling out to him. 

Guilty, he managed to glance back up to Gintoki. 

"I...I have to go". He murmured. 

"It's fine...Go right ahead. Er, do you have a uniform here or...?" 

"At home. I'll go home and change. Uh...Could you...". 

"Uh, right...". Gintoki let Hijikata go, allowing him to stand up and get the feeling back in his legs. "Right...".

"...I'll let myself out". 

"Shit -sorry, sorry. I'll - I'll see you out". 

Losing his composure so effortlessly. In Gintoki's case, you could think of it as quite a feat for Hijikata, with him being the whole reason for this level-headed man getting so shaken up. Even when having his pride Gintoki could admit that he was shaken up. That he could drop his figurative, emotional shield and be - not someone entirely different but - someone more open to a natural, heart-warming experience with another person: love. And although things felt awkward as Gintoki showed Hijikata to the door, their hearts were racing and the feeling lingered in the energy around them. A physical embodiment of contentment and reassurance. 

"See you tonight". 

"Mm, see you tonight, Gintoki". 

It did feel wrong to leave things as they were now. But was there anything more to add? What could possibly change after coming to terms with such feelings. A full stop was left on the discussion with yet another short-lived kiss that lacked passion but was obviously out of this new-found sense of love and care. With it, Hijikata was able to leave in silence and get ready for work. 

The door was shut, and Gintoki was left alone. He leaned his back to the nearby counter, and slumped down to the floor in exhaustion; both physically and mentally. The confession really took a toll on him. But he meant what said. Every word. Men are socially conditioned to not express their emotions and feelings. It's how they are raised. So confessing something like love so sincerely felt like an ordeal where neither man wanted to come off as weak. In the end they were still men. But around each other there was understanding and they could confide in one another without being judged. As unusual as it felt, they could tell each other the truth and make it clear that they were still human, and that they could express these feelings openly, at least to one another. 

"Gin-chan! I'm gonna leave soon! Do we have anything for dinner?" 

Kagura was still in the house. Shit - she had been all day. The only reason it slipped Gintoki's mind was because she had been cooped up in her room the whole time. But her voice and Sadaharu's barking had rung a bell. He raised his head, seeing the confused expression approach him, as well as the chirpy dog face that had rushed over to hop and jump all over Gintoki for a taste of attention. Surprisingly he complied with a faint smile. Gintoki rubbed Sadaharu's fur and spoke to him. 

"Hey boy. God he is so fucking happy. You give him human food or something?" 

"Gin-chan, is something wrong? Why are you sitting on the floor?" 

"I'm fine, kiddo. Really. Where are you going?" 

"Papi's new place". 

"Wait, already?" 

"Yep. Said I could stay with him, just to see what it's like. And I need rations in case his cooking's awful, since he offered to make something for dinner, aru". 

"Wow. Man's really trying for you, huh?" 

"He always has". 

"...". 

"Are you sure there's nothing wrong? I can stay if you need the company, aru". Kagura slumped down with him; curious and concerned with that face. 

"Nah, nah. Go to your dad's place. I'll assure you right now that there's nothing wrong, okay?" 

"Pinky swear?" Kagura pulled out her pinky finger, holding it out for Gintoki. He sighed, locking them together. 

"Alight, pinky swear...So, you gonna move in with the old man?" 

"Probably. He says he wants to be a father again to both me and Kamui. And I believe in him". 

"...". 

"A part of me doesn't want to, though. This has felt more like home - and I've only stayed here for a couple years. You gave me a home and a family when I didn't really have one, Gin-chan. To leave that behind...Although I'll still visit. I'll come on Christmas and the other holidays, aru. We can still go to the summer festival together and...y-you can take me out on weekends. You can spoil me rotten, okay?" 

She wasn't crying. But she was still sorrowful. All Gintoki could do in comfort was pat her head and reassure her. 

"It's still a while yet before you move in with your old man. Take your time, and don't get upset. I won't be lonely or anything". 

"Right. You won't. You've got the Mayora living next door. Maybe you could live together. Or is that too soon after, what, nine months?" 

"I haven't thought about it". 

"Maybe you should". 

"This place is too big anyway, kiddo. I've been thinking about moving someplace smaller, but to move in with Hijikata...It's probably too soon to be thinking about that". 

"It's up to you. But I think it'd be good for a healthy relationship, aru. Maybe then you'll actually come to see how much you love each other - and don't deny it. It's obvious that you're crazy about each other. Now, I'm gonna go find rations, okay? Hope you don't mind".

That ended quickly. And quietly. Again with the dishonesty of emotions and feelings, Gintoki refrained from bearing the news - at least right now. Kagura had even blurted out her judgements towards emotional boys or men, even if she didn't mean them. So Gintoki let her carry on, and he smiled. He didn't want to keep her away from her old man any longer either. Best to leave things as they were for now in ignorant bliss. There was only one person he could potentially talk to about this, and the timing was perfect. All he had to do was pick up the phone. 

... 

Deja vu. A lack of concentration the sense that consciousness was slipping away due boredom and the painful silence that filled the room. Yet right now Gintoki had a lot more on his mind. Words he couldn't possibly express out loud. Even the company beside him didn't take notice of his dazed appearance, how he was totally lost in thought. That was until the manuscript in hand...When the manuscript in Otose's hand had reached it's final full stop at "The End" without a physical full stop for the sake of neatness. She turned her eyes away from "The End" of the manuscript to give her thoughts to her number one writer. He was staring blankly at the floor and carpet ahead of him with dead eyes - the usual lifeless expression that simply expressed carelessness and stupidity. Yet she saw no such traits in his face today. The eyes, the pink cheeks and the overall aura of distance gave off a whole other impression to Otose. 

The old woman did not show concern or curiosity over this aura. This time she even refrained from acting apathetic. Instead she dumped the manuscript onto the coffee table, before her crossed legs, and sat back comfortably as she took the usual brand from under the cuff of her suit sleeve. 

"What's going on with you?" She asked, despite the fact that she didn't expect a response immediately. It took a few seconds before Gintoki registered Otose's voice and how she was actually talking to him. 

"Mm? Wha-...What is it Granny? Is the, uh, script okay?" 

"The story's fine. Good ending, satisfying conclusion. You should be proud. Now what's going on with you?" 

"Ah? What's with that? All you've ever wanted from me is rent and my manuscripts. Don't you have anything critical to say?" 

"Yeah, I do. You're moping. And I wanna know what's going on". 

"I'm not moping. I'm-...I'm completely-". 

"Don't gimme that "I'm fine" crap, when we both know you're not fine. I know what men are like: hiding your emotions away 'cause it's damaging to you socially. Well, guess what, I listen to men twice your age complain about their wives, their jobs and so on without giving two shits because they know I won't judge them. I never do. So go on, get it off your chest and outta the way". 

The old hag was as straight-forward as ever. Though Gintoki wasn't surprised that she was a little more blunt when it came to him. He was never open, with anyone usually. Over the years, however, he knew he could tell Granny anything and that it would always stay with her. Not once did she use other people's emotions against them or look down on them for feeling a certain way. A man's words would never leave Otose or her snack house. She could tell that Gintoki was in an atypical state of mind, even for him. So, like an old-fashioned grandmother, she asked what the hell was wrong with him, lacking any tone of sympathy the whole time as she simply wished to listen and understand. Give advice if need be. So, Gintoki took a breath and leaned back also, by Otose's side. 

He had no idea where to really start. When clapping his hands together once he immediately made the decision to come out with it and watch Otose's reaction to it, as well as hear her unpredictable response. 

"Sure. I, uh...I...told Hijikata that...I love him".

"...Really?" 

Astonished, Otose gave Gintoki this weird look. It was amusing. Her reaction could only mean that a love confession was the last thing on her mind. Gintoki nodded, giddy when her response lingered around in his head. 

"Yeah, really - He thinks that he loves me and...I think I love him too". 

"Wow, you sound serious". That wasn't mocking. Otose smirked and took a drag. The smoke polluting a small circle of air around them was unpleasant, but to an extent Gintoki could ignore it as the conversation at hand was more of the main focus. Which was in fact more pleasant. 

"Uh-huh. Yeah, we thought it was crazy too".

"How come?" 

"I dunno...Sounds crazy, coming from us". 

"Gintoki, the only time a couple shouldn't say "I love you" is when they're blinded by a phrase and don't really know what the hell they're talking about You two, as far as I've seen an heard, are pretty serious about each other. You are, aren't you?" 

"Pretty serious. Although I've taken my sweet time to realise that". 

"Don't ignore your feelings. Even though you're a man, you can still be honest with the person you love". 

"Bit too late to offer that advice, Granny". 

"So, what is it you love about him?" 

"What...?" 

"If you're serious, you need to realise the things that made you fall for him in the first place, otherwise you're spouting meaningless words. Plus I wanna know what kind of magic this Hijikata guy holds to make you fall in love in the first place". 

The last one was a joke, obviously. So they both let out quiet laughter. Gintoki thought about it for merely two seconds, and let his mouth run as he knew exactly what he wanted to say. 

"He's handsome, for a start". 

"Uh-huh...". 

"Sexy and even charming when he wants to be. God I-...I love our talks, even. How we can talk for hours without getting bored. We make chemistry, and it feels special. And no matter what kinda quirks he has - like the mayonnaise and the constant frowning - I adore him and the way he is. And he's said the same about me, believe it or not". 

"...". 

"The most simplistic way to put it is that he makes me happy, and sometimes I think about those kids leaving the nest and...maybe it would give me and Hijikata an opportunity to settle down. Hm...I didn't think I could take things at an easy pace until I realised that I already was, with him. The talking, the late nights and just about everything else...It's why I love him as much as I do".

Gintoki hadn't realised that he turned his eyes away. When facing Otose after a brief silence, after his thoughts and words had wandered far enough, he appreciated her amused and glad smile as her cigarette burned away without another drag taken. And he passed a cocky look, knowing exactly what he was talking about, knowing at this very moment that he didn't deserve a lecture about love and it's deep meaning. Wasn't just a word, she would say. But she didn't have to say, he knew. He understood. 

"You've really grown up, Gintoki. I'm proud of you, kid. I mean it". 

"That means the world to me, coming from you. I do love him. I swear to god I don't - I don't think there's anyone else who could take my emotions so far. He's passed with flying colours". 

"Then don't let go of that. Keep a tight hold of it, because it's special - it's yours, and it's his". 

"I will". 

As long as Gintoki was happy, healthy and living a fulfilling life, then Otose would most certainly be happy for him, as everyone else would. Maybe they would last a few more years, perhaps longer than a few. But that wasn't up the Otose, but the happy couple themselves. There was no telling. Right now, hearing that Gintoki was prepared to settle down was the most incredible thing, aside from the fact that he was in love. Gladly, she agreed to support him in any way possible. And in turn he agreed to support her when needed. She laughed at that statement, and slapped his arm mockingly. 

As for Gintoki, there were more opportunities open to him now. A commitment to Hijikata meant so much more than a phrase and a label. He had thoughts and dreams about Hijikata and what the future might hold for them. But it wasn't the time to jump into anything. Knowing how they felt seemed like enough for the time being. If anything else came after that then, well, they'd surely discuss it together at the right moment. That's what lovers do, after all. They discuss and express their feelings honestly. At least, they should. And, in their case, they did. This was one of those cases... 

... 

From the desk, a closed laptop laid out before him, Gintoki could hear the front door opening without any prior announcement. He didn't exactly need one. The time on his desk's digital clock seemed right enough. He did not budge - not immediately. To contain his anticipation he merely raised his head from scattered take-out menus and spun his desk chair around. Coming in, appearing from behind the inconvenient wall, was Hijikata. He had removed his outdoor wear, announcing his presence to Gintoki.

"Ah, over here, Hi-Hijikata". He did not raise his voice to an unnecessary volume, but it was enough to quickly get Hijikata's attention. 

Hijikata's head whipped in Gintoki's direction. An awkward smile drew up on Gintoki's lips as an awkward little wave drew up from his lap. Anxious, unsure of himself, Hijikata approached Gintoki with his hands nervously stuffed into his pant's pockets. Gintoki stood, and also approached. They didn't stop, as steady as their progress was. The sensations of sleeping legs and racing hearts returned for about a second or two. 

When close enough, they kissed each other on the lips. A small, affectionate greeting with no real embarrassment forced into the mix. A soft, longed for smooch that almost left them wanting a little more. 

"Hi there...". Gintoki greeted him with the use of his words, biting his bottom lip, scraping the skin without damaging it before returning them to their original state - as though to conceal his giddiness. And he was feeling giddy, in the very pit of his stomach. 

"Hey. It's, er...Nice to be back home". 

"...It's nice to have you back home". 

They were projecting ordinary greetings, yet their tone and the way their eyes met highlighted their change in attitudes towards each other since this afternoon, mere hours ago. 

"So, um...". Gintoki backed off a tad, scratching the back of his head turning his back away for the desk - though gesturing for Hijikata to make himself comfortable on the nearby lounge chair, right next to the workspace. "How was work?" 

"Uh, good. The usual, but it was good. You?" 

"I finished the manuscript. It's all been approved and should be on shelves in a few weeks. But, of course, I saved you a copy".

"Ah, good-...good to know. Can I read it later? Kinda want to change outta my uniform first". 

"Later sounds fine. Sure. Um, have you eaten? I was gonna order some food in, for a change. Plus we wouldn't have to cook. Uh, which place do you wanna order from? I don't do this often, and I'm not really sure what places you like. Heh, we've been going out all this time and I still don't know. Geez...". 

Gintoki misplaced his thoughts, and ran his mouth again like he had with Otose in the room. As if he wasn't quite sure what to say, and simply droned on without realising. Perhaps it was anxiety, now that Hijikata was in the room. 

"We could get Chinese food, order from a traditional Japanese place maybe. I heard they opened a pizza place in town, where you can ask for any toppings you want. That sound good to you? Damn, I don't even know if you like pizza. Shit. What have been talking this whole time? Huh, Hijikata? Hijikata?" 

He was taking a humorous tone to the circumstances he faced. But he had to stop. Having been accidentally rambling on to himself this whole time he knew that he had to stop and listen out for a voice that was not there to reply. Slowly, Gintoki turned around and faced Hijikata once more.

"...". 

He wasn't saying anything. However he was staring. Staring with this dazed affection and shyness that was undoubtedly lovely and radiant. What was this man pondering? What did he see in Gintoki? Were they even in the same room? Yes, definitely. If anything their hearts were bound together underneath this barrier of awkwardness as neither really knew what to say. A brighter light appeared in deep, ocean blue eyes and it appeared that Hijikata was back in the room. Sighing, he stepped forward, moved in loser to Gintoki in order to face his anxiety.

"...I...Okay, um...Work wasn't the usual, like I said it was". 

"Okay? Then, um - ahem - h-how, er...". 

"I was pretty distracted". He sat on the lounge chair stationed by the desk, on the arm chair. Hijikata proceeded with a contrast in both nervousness and confidence in his words. This time Gintoki was all ears.

"To be honest, I couldn't stop thinking about earlier. Left a...bizarre after-feeling, I guess". 

"Hm...". Gintoki smiled. He leaned his rear on the edge of the desk: relaxed. "Me too...I'm surprised I got any work done". 

"Hah, y'know what...Me too...". 

Like two peas in the tightest pod imaginable. Their relationship couldn't have been any more solid, their earlier discussion and confession couldn't have been any more worth the leap. Things were so peaceful this way. Neither could complain. Sure it was awkward but this wasn't a moment where they could exactly act like themselves with a straight face and the usual banter. Quiet was good. Giddy but calm was considered good. This was all...good - amazing even. 

"Ahh...H-how about I run a bath for you, and maybe you could pick the take-out place? I'm not picky, so...Yeah...". 

"Okay, but hurry, otherwise I'll order for you". 

"Go for it. Surprise me".

And to the downstairs bathroom he went, leaving Hijikata to pick out tonight's dinner. He had the privilege of sitting at the desk to look through the several menus scattered across the desk. From there he raised his head and could just see Gintoki's back within the bathroom as he knelt down to run a warm bath for Hijikata. Neither had avoided the topic of the previous events that took place. They were dwelling on it quietly, enjoying the simple things as per the usual yet appreciating the big change in their relationship with awe and unintentional awkwardness. Felt like there was more to be said, though...And, naturally, there was. 

... 

Gintoki appeared from his bedroom, carrying a rather thick manuscript under his arm. At around ten in the evening, both men had settled in with fresh clothes and empty thoughts. When sitting on the sofa, right beside a loosely dressed Hijikata (big, over-sized tee-shirt and sweatpants that stretched over the soles of his bare feet), he handed over the script and awaited his response to it. 

"Here, she's all yours. Enjoy". 

Gratefully, Hijikata smiled and gladly he took the manuscript from Gintoki's hands with calm excitement. He held back his lips between his teeth, reading the cover and the small-print underneath that read "Gin" in a usual font. Yet somehow it stood out more than the exhilarating title. 

"Wow...". 

"Here, read the very first page. I think you might like it, or...cringe really hard. Whichever". He had lost confidence in an instant. This guy... 

Hijikata flipped to the very first page in anticipation. There was a small inscription on the inside, probably the first of it's kind in a novel written by "Gin". And, knowing Gintoki personally, it meant a lot to Hijikata. It read (as said out loud): 

"To Toushiro Hijikata, to whom this work has been dedicated to at the last minute...". He chuckled at that line. "Thanks for inspiring me everyday by being yourself, it means the world to me to just see your...T-to just see your smile...". Then he stammered, and faltered in ease. "Ahem...Uh...". 

Left speechless, Hijikata didn't quite look Gintoki in the eyes. Not while he read the inscription one last time tonight to make sure he didn't read it wrongly. Of course, he did no such thing. He sighed, managing to smile despite the lack of effort put into it. Though he was grateful, and very happy he was still anxious. More than ever at this moment. The manuscript was closed carefully, as if that single page was the most delicate. In a sense, it was. 

"...This is it, isn't it?" Hijikata asked, his eyes looking for a good, helpful response. 

"What, the manuscript, or us?" 

"Us. What else? I mean, this is the way things are now". 

"Mm-hm. You won't be gettin' rid of me easily". 

"I don't-...I don't really intend to".

"...". 

"...Come closer". 

The thick manuscript was once again dumped onto the coffee table. Gintoki raised his arm, moving it in an arch as Hijikata moved into the rightful position, right by his side, chests rising and falling against one another. 

"I'm not...really an expert on love or relationships. I-...I could barely deal with the thought of having a girlfriend in high school. But this...I'm so sure that I know what I want from this, y'know?" 

"Mm...". 

"I've never been with someone who I could get to know so much, and who I could trust with my secrets - because I know that, at some degree, you understood and you accepted me for who I was, even when I know my own flaws. And, believe me, I've got a lot of those". 

"Yeah, well, I've really grown to like your imperfections, so you don't have to worry about that". 

"That's what I mean. It's what makes you as amazing as you are".

"...I think you're pretty amazing as well. To have someone who really cares about you and who thinks you really matter...I don't think this is something I'll find again - not with love". 

"Are you saying their might be a future in it for us?" 

"I'm not entirely sure, but I want there to be something that we can look forward to. Do you ever think about that stuff?" 

"Sometimes. Ever since Kagura told that she wanted to move in with her old man, I started to imagine what I could do next. What we could do, actually. I like the idea of settling down - as I've said. That I could take things easy, with you. I've never had those thoughts before". 

"Me neither, but that's what an adult relationship is, I suppose". 

"An adult relationship...Hah, even that sounds a little crazy". 

"Doesn't have to be. I want a serious relationship with you, and I want to respect you and treat you correctly, and...I don't wanna fuck this up". 

"Don't worry...". Gintoki grasped Hijikata's hand. He held it securely, but not tightly. He caressed the skin gently, but not out of sympathy. With a sure smile on his face, he looked Hijikata in the eyes and provided some reassurance. "We're not gonna mess this up. We're not gonna be stupid about this". 

"Okay...". 

"Cause I swear to god you're the only one who's made me feel this way, and I don't want to lose that. So, right now, we'll agree that, for however long we stay together, we'll still talk like we do and, and we'll make each other bentos, and we can binge watch our favourite dramas and T.V series' with food ordered in. Those are the things that I want, because it's with you and-...and...". 

"Shh...". 

As Gintoki's words trailed off, a hush came directly from Hijikata's lips, and the very tip of his fingers covered Gintoki's before he lost his breath. His hands did move away, sliding across Gintoki's cheek instead; cupping it, caressing it, staring into his eyes lovingly. That's all there was to his mature gaze: clear and honest love. 

"I want those things too, and maybe more. But we'll cross that bridge when we get to it". 

"...". 

"...Haa, I love you...so much". 

"And I love you. That's...just how we feel now". 

"Yeah. Still think it's crazy?" 

"Not anymore...".

A pause was taken on last time. Yet this time there wasn't a single shed of awkwardness between them. Being in the right mood brought them together for another kiss, although they intended to make it last. They drew into each other carefully, and pressed warm lips together in the moment as if it were the last. In other words, they made this one count. No heat, no intent to go further, but a deep passion that fluttered their stomachs and pounded in their chests. 

"Haa...I love you...Toushiro...". 

A quiet whisper of Hijikata's name, and he was hooked onto Gintoki's embrace. He repeated the name with every faint little kiss on the skin, until they met in a hug and all went quiet. Gintoki had wanted to say is name for months, and thus he smiled at the relief of finally using it in such a perfect moment. Hijikata felt this just the same, knowing that he didn't miss another opportunity for love. A real, imperfect, genuine love. Nothing was perfect, but it's partly why they were such a good match. Why their relationship felt so specially. In their hearts, nothing could compare to this feeling. Not for them. Maybe they wouldn't feel this way again, about anyone else. After having such a tight grip on the memories, the feelings and the possibilities that they could only imagine thus far, it was very unlikely that either of them would easily let go... 

... 

"...We'd have two bedrooms, in case Patsuan and Kagura visit". 

"Okay...". 

"Late at night we could cuddle up in front of this fireplace, set up right in the family room, with the television in the corner where we could watch re-runs of shows and weird Japanese game shows". 

"I could see that. Maybe a shelf totally dedicated to box sets and DVD's". 

"Uh-huh, 'cause the bookshelf would be in the bedroom, since I know you like to read before bed". 

In the early morning after a peaceful night of cuddling up in bed and talking, the two continued to talk as the sun came up. Empty mugs sat side-by-side on the end table, on Hijikata's side. He listened to the fantasies that came from Gintoki's head, past his lips. He enjoyed every word, like listening to an audio version of his novels. But this was based on a potential future once Kagura left the nest and moved onto the next one with her father. He had been thinking about these things - merely thinking and imagining, not exactly planning. It wasn't scary to talk about. It was more for fun. Sharing ideas about a dream house and dream lives was fun. 

"We would obvious switch cooking responsibilities". Hijikata added, resting his cheek across his crossed arms as he watched and listened to Gintoki further. 

"And cleaning". 

"You'd forget to do it anyway". 

"No, I wouldn't-" 

"Uh, yeah, you would, 'cause you're a lazy boy". 

"Hey, who do you think's been cleaning up after Kagura all this time?" 

"I thought it was Spectacles". 

"Oi...!" 

"Haha, I'm kidding. Please, carry on. I wanna hear more".

Gintoki sighed, staring up at the ceiling. Soon enough, he was smiling. Hijikata took notice, and raised his head from his crossed arms that were sinking into the pillow, forming red marks across the forearms. 

"What...?" 

"This is pretty nice. huh?" 

"You can say that again...You feel so at peace and relaxed". 

"This was the kinda thing I was talking about. I want things to stay as nice as this for a while longer. I could get used to it". 

"I think we can both get used to this". 

Their eyes met. A sense of giddiness returned to their features, a Hijikata responded eagerly with a kiss on Gintoki's vulnerable lips. Once. Twice. And no more, until Gintoki laced his fingers through black locks and pulled him down for a third peck. After that, Hijikata got up out of bed for a shower. He had some time before work. Breakfast naturally came to mind; maybe eggs and toast. Simple things had become the most pleasant, as it seemed. So much brighter, and anticipated. Gintoki watched Hijikata get up and draw back the curtains to allow the sunlight to pour in. 

He took a breath and headed for the bathroom, grabbing his towel on the way. One more glance, one more shared smile, and then he disappeared into the bathroom. Once again the door was boldly left open for Gintoki to take a peek. The man refrained himself this time. The sun was a bit too blinding and his body was a tad too heavy this morning. Instead he lay flat on his back and watched the ceiling, listening carefully to the oddly satisfying sound of running water. Only in his imaginative mind could he picture Hijikata disrobing as he let the water run. The sketch that he held close was enough to spark his photographic memory into painting an almost perfect picture. 

He felt accomplished and complete for maintaining such a successful relationship, as well as allowing it to grow so far. From the first kiss until now Gintoki could honestly say that he was content. Even more so he was happy, and in love, for the very first time. God what a feeling. 

They were indeed lovers. Funnily enough Gintoki could seriously and confidently say that Hijikata was his boyfriend as of now. It brought him joy to simply wonder what the next steps were. No idea yet. No clear one anyway. But as Hijikata said: "they'd cross that bridge once they got to it". A long, sturdy bridge up ahead with all the possibilities right in front of them. 

Gintoki also got up, eventually. Yet he didn't peek into the bathroom. Rather he walked right past the bathroom, towards his bookshelf. There, hidden underneath all the books was his sketchbook. He revelled in the possibilities of more portraits. In between the books he had also hidden a CD of all things. From their brief trip to the music store, he picked it up on a whim. Quite a few songs were listed; some recognisable from anime. Having no CD player, Gintoki couldn't play it himself. But knowing that Hijikata had one...Could make a nice gift. He had listened to these songs before, and while lost in thought he recalled the lyrics to a mere few. 

He smiled. 

Yeah...They did kinda make sense...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like now I have their characters written our more accurately with no uneccessary drama and only a build of to their real feelings. I'm not gonna write proper drama until the next fanfic, which is being planned as I write this.
> 
> This was so much more fun, having them act goofy yet they have their more close, serious moments. It's more romantic, and I hope it reads better.

**Author's Note:**

> All I can say is that the interactions and such will grow in length. I hope I can get some Gintama banter in there at some point and make it work. It's just kind of hard when it's an AU, especially a modern setting. I'll do my nest next time, and I would appreciate some feedback on whether this should continue or if there are any suggestions on improvement. Of course, for HijiGin/GinHiji fans, their interactions will get a lot better with time and they will become closer. Hope you enjoyed this one little chapter, to give an idea of the whole thing I've planned. It's not great, but it is a working progress. More characters will be introduced in the next few chapters, so...yeah...Thanks for reading!


End file.
